#because i genuinely could not tell you if i've ever stumbled across this thing or not

[fastcardotmp3]

Jonathan & El cw: implied past child abuse

The first time he hears her call herself bad it strikes him so hard in his sternum that he can't buck up and do something about it.

Jonathan looks at this girl, his sister, who has saved the world time and again, who had saved his brother from a slow death in a terrible place, and she lays claim to a badness that makes him feel kind of sick, actually.

It's the same feeling he got when Will started calling himself a freak, the same feeling he got when Jonathan himself first started learning to play music loud enough he couldn't hear his parents fighting in the other room, even years before he taught that trick to Will.

It's a feeling, ultimately, that swallows stability whole and leaves you to stumble across uneven ground until you find your footing again.

Jonathan just has to-- find his footing again. And that means someone needs to talk to El.

"Because I am," she says when he asks why she calls herself that, sitting at the kitchen table with two mugs of her latest culinary obsession between them-- hot chocolate.

"But what makes you think you're bad?" Jonathan asks, genuinely curious, genuinely getting thrown to the ground by the shake in the earth. "I don't think you're bad."

El presses her lips together, eyebrows low over her downturned gaze as she looks intensely at the little marshmallows sitting on top of her drink like she's trying to solve the puzzle of the world.

Jonathan supposes she kind of is, in a way, contemplating human nature after spending so many years being told what to be, how to fit within a certain set of parameters, how to behave the way Papa wanted her to.

That's another thing that gives him big feelings. Those feelings could probably be solved by caving Brenner's face in, though.

"I have hurt people," is what she lands on, still not looking up but the scowl line between her brows deepening.

And there's no denying it, she has hurt people; she's killed people, as a matter of fact, and she's watched them die, so there's no point in dodging the reality of that here, in trying to say you didn't mean to when he knows she did.

Jonathan opens his mouth and then shuts it again, though, catches himself in the act of trying to tell her that the good she's done outweighs the bad because, for one, he doesn't know if that's true, and for two, maybe it doesn't matter.

"You know," he clears his throat, elbows digging into the table and shoulders hunching up around his ears, "stories-- like Will's books and Hop's TV?-- have really obvious villains most of the time. Bad guys, right?"

El looks up at him, thinks about it, nods.

"Right."

"Okay," Jonathan keeps going, "well, that's because people have always been trying to find-- easy answers for hard things. Things like good and bad. So they created monsters who only ever hurt and heroes who only ever help.

"But, just because it helps us understand why people do bad things, it doesn't mean that-- none of it is really that-- black and white?"

"Black and white?" El questions, but she's not pushing back against him so Jonathan has hope that this is working in some way or another.

"Like, clear and obvious. Like everything has just one answer, but that's not really the case, is it?"

"No," she says with zero hesitation. "Some things are-- confusing."

"Yeah, they are. People are," he pulls his mug closer to himself and taps his fingers along the ceramic.

"So there aren't... bad people?" she looks confused, like she doesn't believe it, like she's actively losing faith in his judgement, so Jonathan shakes his head quickly.

"It's-- It's more like there are just people," he flounders. "And I really-- I don't think I've ever met a person that's only ever been good or only ever been bad."

El looks down at her hot chocolate. Grabs the can of whipped cream and sprays more on top of her cooling drink.

Doesn't take a sip.

"You've only ever been good," she says it slowly, obvious confusion still touching her tone in ways that don't even overpower the rush of emotion Jonathan gets and knowing she really feels that way about him of all people.

He breathes sharply through his nose, opens his mouth and shuts it twice before he manages to say, "I've hurt people too, El."

It's not going to be an easy thing, Jonathan thinks, making sure she understands that people are largely just the choices they make and that people are allowed to choose to change, to get better, and that the people who hurt her, the people she hurt in return, won't be missed by anyone who loves El but might be missed by someone and that no matter how complicated it is and no matter how messy and no matter how surface level wrong it may be she is still not bad.

It's not going to be an easy thing, made clear by the way she looks at him now and visibly tries to make sense of the fact that someone she had deemed as good could possibly have ever done wrong, because those people in that fucking lab drilled absolutism into her head from birth, but fuck. Fuck.

"You're just a person, is all I'm saying," he implores, because it's going to take longer than one conversation over hot chocolate to make any of it make a modicum of sense, even to him. "You're a person and we love you."

Something shakes loose in her gaze at that, a tension releasing from her shoulders, because if there's one thing Hopper and Joyce and those damn kids have done right it's making this make sense to her.

"I love you too," she tells him, and Jonathan has the self control of a saint to not start crying.

When she adds more whipped cream to her drink, he just follows her lead.

#dot post #dot fic #jonathan byers #el hopper #the byers hoppers #jonathan & el #stranger things #was going through my drafts bc I have the worst case of brain fog I'm trying to shake loose and found this half written #so have this attempt at jostling words out of my body!! #because jonathan and el deserve a sibling moment

[elysiansparadise]

Haaaayyy, Elysian!! (can I call you that, by the way? I'mma just stick with that for now, but if u have something you prefer to go by, just let me know)

I stumbled across your page quite some time ago, and never got around to actually sending you an ask until now!! Let me just say something. Your posts--FAB!! Your astrology blog is one of the most spectacular things i've ever come across, and I'm not even lyingg

As for my ask, though: I know your posts take dedication and time, but if you've ever got a spare minute, would you mind doing a quick explanation of Mars in the 3H?? I've never seen it explained in a thorough way besides the "aggressive communicator" stereotype, and you're just amazing at explaining things. I'd be forever grateful!!

Hello love, yes, you can call me like that. Thank you so much for your words, I genuinely appreciate them. And of course I can do it.

Mars in the 3rd house

Here we find natives with a quick intellect and mind, someone who understands things easily and who tends to prefer to learn independently. These natives are people who get bored easily and find it difficult to concentrate on only one thing at the same time, their mind seems to be simultaneously exploring many different topics. They love and are passionate about learning new things, it is not surprising that they take you off guard with new random data that you were unaware of. They are very frank and direct people in their way of speaking, they like to be clear with what they want to say. They can speak very fast and it can be normal for them to naturally have a strong tone of voice [this can vary depending on the sign the 3rd house/Mars is in or if Mars is retrograde]. They may be people who dislike sitting still, seem to have a lot of energy, and look for ways to spend it [either physically or mentally]. We have the passionate communicator, the one who transmits fire when talking about what he likes, a person extremely passionate about his hobbies and interests, someone who when he likes a topic it shows in his face, a person with transparent opinions, who gives his point of view clearly, without pretending, simply being authentic.

This Mars placement tells us about a person who could have had many arguments with a brother or even in their school environment. In fact, the relationship with some or all of their siblings could have been somewhat conflictive, they could have had very marked differences or temperaments that collided with each other. Very probably they could have problems with their siblings or at school due to their temperament or the aggressive or hurtful attitudes of peers. Despite the fact that this placement from Mars has a reputation for being very angry or aggressive in their speech, they are people who rationalize a lot before acting, they are not as impulsive as others would describe them and rather they are a little more reflective when they feel that they are they are getting angry with quick reflexes, these natives are hardly taken unnoticed. These people can think a lot about the future, they think about many possibilities in the short and long term. Something that in my opinion is very faithful to what is said about them is how good they can be for debates, because they are not afraid to defend their point of view and support it with everything they have. It is not aggressiveness, it is confidence, when they speak they appear to be very confident in what they are saying.

They could have a very active early life or just be very active when they were young. They may have many short trips throughout their lives, they may feel a natural desire for the idea of ​​knowing places that call their attention. They like to leave home and be in contact with the outside world. They never stay with the knowledge they have, they seek to know more and more. They know how to quickly adapt to their environment, no matter who they are with or where they are, they adapt. This also applies in a certain way in sex, being people who do not have a fixed preference for any role, neither dominant nor submissive, rather switcher. They love when a person is a mental challenge or at least when a person is intelligent and original and authentic enough to have their own opinions. They could feel sexually attracted to someone's voice, sense of humor and some could be attracted to pretty hands. Sex with them is something funny, experimental and very interesting, it's never the same, they like to surprise their partners and like to be surprised too. May be verbal in sex too.

-> Go back to the masterlist

#mars #astrology #3rd house #natal chart #astro note #astro observation #birth chart #mars in the 3rd house #mars in the 3h #mars in the 3rd #astro notes #astro observations #astrology notes

[ohseraphicyou]

hi kenzy! i'm a follower from instagram and i've been following your account for almost 2 years now. i hope this isn't weird, but i just wanted to tell you how much your poetry has impacted me.

at the time i first found your account, i was pining over my best friend, and i felt so alone in my emotions. reading your poetry made me feel less alone in my sorrows, and i felt so... seen. we've never met, yet i felt so seen.

that same best friend and i started dating some months later, and your poetry, again, made me feel so seen. i've never felt so understood by a stranger. there was a poem that stuck out to me in particular, and it's "the luxury of loving you". i remember crying over that one because my best friend and i started dating around the time you posted it, and i was so overwhelmed by the romance i was feeling for the first time. i just felt so thankful for being able to love someone, and to be loved by them.

fast forward to now. it's been almost 4 months since my best friend and i broke up. we don't talk anymore, and it's negatively affecting me more than i'd like to admit. i came across "interlinked" today, and it made me feel seen, once again. it's been a rough couple of days in terms of healing emotionally, but "interlinked" gave me hope today. your most recent works also resonate with the way i've been thinking and feeling, it's crazy. the days blend into each other and it seems like a year has passed since we broke up, and all i know is my own voice talking to itself in my head.

i don't really know why i wrote this to you. i guess i just wanted to say, you're not alone? and that i truly appreciate you for sharing your art. your writings have stayed and resonated with me for literal years, and it's truly a privilege to be in the presence of it. it has helped me in a way that it reminds me that i'm not alone, either, and it reminds me of The Little Things in life. thank you for creating and for sharing your art 🫶🏼

- 🍀

hello little stranger in my phone!

i think you should know that your message has me in tears. ones that seem to have no end.

i just decided randomly that after months of completely deleting tumblr, i’d just log back in for shits and giggles last night. then i stumbled across this little anon and my goddd- i just want you to know that i am so genuinely grateful that you exist, as you are, in this world. that there are people like you brave enough and kind enough to say these things out loud, burning a permanent little memory of such raw and genuine kindness into people’s hearts. just because you can. i don’t know if you truly understand how much of a blessing it is to receive a message as beautiful as this.

it’s crazy how many little parallels we have in our lives, whoever and wherever you are. an obvious example of this is today literally being the four month mark of when my ex broke up with me, from which i have been absolutely ruined, probably just like you. they were once my best friend too. to know that you’ve been unconsciously with me through such an emotionally destructive, but also eye-opening, time in my life is a comfort i did not ever expect to have but welcome with the warmest embrace imaginable. to know that i am not alone in my pain on days where it feels like i am, and neither are you, because somewhere out there, another person is existing in theirs with you. to know that you have consciously come back to see me and feel with me for literal years, probably since i started posting my poetry, is an absolute honour and i hope you know how much that means to me. i could never explain it.

i want you to know that your message has further solidified my confidence to never be ashamed that i have lived my life with my heart on my sleeve. i think we all could do with protecting ourselves peace a little better at times, but at the same time, i can think of almost nothing more noble than allowing yourself to love endlessly, especially through times where your love is not reciprocated, or appreciated in the way it should be. i want you to be so certain that i DO see you, even if i’ve never met you. i do see you and i do believe in you so much, i know that we will get through these things and surely go through a lot more—but your message is proof enough that you will find those beautiful things again that come with friendship and romance if you so wish to. you can do anything. you are worth the world. i hope you never let anybody shake that self-belief.

from the bottom of my heart and silly little soul, thank you. thank you for more than just this message. thank you for being brave enough to say it out loud. thank you for existing so beautifully that you have the courage to express such a thing, even with the knowledge that i may never have seen this if i didn’t randomly decide to log in one night, unprompted. i’m just a person trying to figure myself and the world out, as are you, and as we all are. it makes my heart so full to know that i can be with you unconsciously in some way while you do that too <3

i love you, have an absolute slay of a day 🤟 i’ll remember this interaction forever i hope u know.

- 🦢

[saintobio]

hii saint! i've been following the utahime & sy drama for a while and was very concerned with your mental health regarding it. i honestly could sense your exhaustion from your posts, and sort of had expected this to happen. sometimes it breaks my heart knowing how much people are giving you unnecessary hate and how much you are struggling to be okay in this situation. nevertheless, thank you so much for everything you have done for the sn/sy series. honestly, i wasn't really invested in the jjk fandom, even gojo at all (watched the series but not rly in the fandom iykwim) but i stumbled upon a chapter in sn and fell in love with the whole storyline. i adore love stories, but the ones like yours, full of angst and in-depth fleshed characters who are flawed... i think is the best type of love story of all.

below is just my rant days ago but unfortunately your asks were closed at that time. since sy is discontinued, this will be my last ask dedicated to sy and a way to comfort you that that there are still people out there who understood your intentions of writing utahime into the storyline

at first, i thought i was the only one who felt this way, or noticed it, but it's truly scary and concerning how people over-villainize utahime repeatedly despite your explanation of her character.

yeah i get it, getting together with your best friend's ex husband is a betrayal of said best friend's trust, especially when you clearly know how intertwined, complicated and toxic their past was. BUT to over-analyse her character and say that she's manipulating gojo/taking advantage of him...? so odd??? like why are people misinterpreting her character like this.

misinterpreting her character is one thing, but to continuously reject your consistent explanation of her character...? you? the author of this story? i don't even know what to say, they are literally being so disrespectful.

i mean for gojo, he feels that utahime has always been there for him during his lows and did not judge him for his past mistakes, a clear indication that she's the love interest for him right now in his life as someone who just wants to start afresh. for utahime, yes she was attracted to him from the start, but she got close with gojo because she wants to genuinely help him out of the mess he was in. literally 0 ulterior motives, just two lost and lonely people who just wants to be loved. that's literally it. full stop, end of story. will i ever know if they decided to continue the r/s officially and long term? i don't know. will gojoyn be endgame? i don't know too. but it's best for me to reserve my judgements and just read it as the way it is being written by you. sure, the way they got together is so so wrong but that's the drama and angst isnt it.... this fic was literally tagged "heavy angst" so im having trouble understanding as to why people who clearly could not stomach the current angst, would want to continue reading the story and harassing you for something they are not in control over to begin with.

is utahime stupid for getting involved with her best friend's ex husband immediately after that whole fiasco when the wounds are still fresh, and not telling her best friend about it?hell yes. but people are truly hating her excessively like damn insulting her health condition? asking her to die? geez like what...

it's obvious that people have been selective reading and have zero critical/analytical thinking. it's either they are not mature enough to read such a complex story, or simply just ignorant against your wishes of how you wanted the story to be and selfishly wants everything to go their own way. i recently read somewhere that people always swoon over the 2nd male lead, but will hate on the 2nd female lead. i think that's very true.

i don't even know how to get my point across that the situation is so complex, readers should not just be jumping to conclusions and pointing fingers like this.

im not a utahime/gojo/gojohime stan outside and in this story fyi. i don't feel anything for utahime, or gojo. have to put it out here because i realised that everytime someone talks about or defends utahime/gojohime, people will just automatically assume that theyre biased to gojohime?? damn sorry for not being close-minded and hateful like the some of them i guess

these months, it was so draining to come here and see unnecessary hate in the comments section and asks. like not only it's draining you on this space, it's also ruining the safe & fun interactive experience other readers want on the blog. these people didn't just violated your safe space (because your main/sims blogs were full of anon hate despite your clear instructions to not leave sn/sy asks there, and your plead for everyone to cease with the utahime hate on this blog and yet somehow, it continued) they also ruined reading experience because for other innocent readers who just wanted to follow the story.

BTW i can bet every dollar in my bank account that if the series has all its chapters released now, the hate on utahime would almost be non-existent, or maybe, there would be, but not this extent. why? because people wouldn't be jumping to conclusions like this and spewing hate like it's their job on this site. because they already know how the story progressed and what the outcome is. any judgements/criticisms should be end until the story ends. has anyone been to a theatre, or a movie, and then start judging at the first quarter/half of the movie???????????? so aside from being immature, people are being impatient too. got it.

last point, ITS FICTION. why are people so riled up over a fictional character. please divert this energy somewhere else. they should focus on reflecting and reevaluating their mindset. the fact that this fiasco is happening for 2/3rd time..... gawd like why are you letting a fictional character/incident, that was posted two months ago, live in your head rent free like this???

talking about fiction, why are utahime stans from jjk even attacking you for...? again, it's fiction. "she's portrayed as a bad characters in all fanfics" then maybe stop actively looking for those kind of fanfics? i rarely saw utahime hate on twitter (i follow a lot of jjk accs btw) or anyone villainising her character in fanfics. so clearly, the problem lies with them, because clearly they are just intentionally looking for drama and being over sensitive about it (because she's FICTIONAL). touch some grass please, it's not that serious

in summary: yes, utahime is wrong for jumping into a relationship with her best friend's ex-husband and not come clean with her immediately. but gojohime not happening is not HER FAULT 100%. people just wanna overvillainize her just to put their frustrations that gojoyn isn't happening on someone 🤷🏽‍��️ im glad you discontinued the series because the excessive utahime hate in the comments section and negativity on this blog.... a lot of us honestly didnt want to see that shit everyday. please don't ever apologise to us about anything over this matter. it's you who deserves a huge apology.

the fact that i have not seen any one of these haters realising their mistreatment towards you and apologising for it.... really shows that they are not aware of their mistakes and would do it over and over again if sy continues

nobody wants to work >=12hours a day and then coming to the app to see repeated discourse. it's getting old and rude, you're tired on and off the app. i understand. anyways, will be looking forward to see more of your other amazing works in the future and i hope these people would be long gone from this blog by then for your peace of mind. get some rest 🫶🏽

helloooo, so sorry for the late response. i believe i had read this when u first sent it and only had the time to go back and reread it now. tysm for ur support and for understanding where i’m coming from. i really appreciate you and i wish there’s a way i can extend my gratitude towards you 🥺 anyways, i hope you’re doing well <33

#🖤: letters to saint #series: sincerely yours #tw.discourse

[goose-onthe-loose]

i understand and relate to your ex religious posts so much it feels like you're in my head, even though i'm exmuslim instead. i'm also 19, i'm kind of jealous that your parents took it okay. i know it won't be safe for me to mention my atheism to mine until i'm moved out and independent (which is pretty far away atm). i'm glad for you that you got away from that and found your own beliefs. do you also feel like you're stunted from your upbringing? if so, do you have any advice on learning how to be a normal person lol

Hey! First of all thank you for your ask, and I'm sorry for the late reply. I've been in the shadow realm for a couple days but I ate a bagel so I think I'm good /hj

Ok! Before the advice, a couple disclaimers. First of all, I recognize that my relationship with my parents is pretty unusual, meaning there are certain aspects of what you might call "the standard deconversion experience" that I can't advise on.

I wish I could reveal the secret formula for supportive parents, but honestly I just got stupid lucky.

And second, obvs we are from different backgrounds so like. Take this with a massive grain of salt. Perhaps even an entire teaspoon.

Now to answer your questions.

Yes, I definitely feel stunted in a few ways... like, I missed out on plenty of general teen things, like parties, dating, and extracurriculars. Because of this I'm a little scared for college, mingling with people I feel I don't have much common ground with.

And then there are the years I spent in emotional turmoil, trying to figure out if I wanted to leave, how to do it, if I was making the right decision, etc etc etc.

I also regret the hundreds, if not thousands of hours I wasted studying obscure Jewish laws, time which could have been spent on... literally anything else.

But at this point, I can't change any of that. So I'm trying to focus on what I can do; here are a few things that have really helped me.

Research! Google is your friend, and you can use it to learn about everything from secular social norms to basic life skills. I literally got all of my sex ed online, lol.

Which brings me to my next piece of advice: build community. This one was especially helpful to me. In fact, I think of my discovery of the subreddit r/ExJew as a turning point in my deconversion journey. Like I know the site in general has a bad reputation, but stumbling across that page genuinely changed my life. It provided me with something I sorely needed: a place full of people like me. Somewhere where I could vent, ask questions, get advice, and even joke around. Idk about the culture on the exmuslim sub, but I'd say it's worth checking out.

This was also a good place to find anti-apologetic blogs and books, which went a long way towards undoing the bullshit religious pseudologic I'd been inundated with.

And lastly, "coming out". This one is iffy, and you should only do it if safe. But I still recommend it, because honestly. After I had decided to leave, one of the hardest parts was pretending to be something I wasn't.

So... after a while, I stopped. Wrote a letter to my parents, sent a mass email to the teachers in my religious school. I chose not to tell most of my classmates, but I did find another closet atheist in my school, and she honestly made the rest of my senior year a lot easier. Just having one other person to look over at and silently agree, "yeah, this is bullshit," can help with morale.

And even if you don't find anyone like that, there's a lot of peace, I think, in speaking your mind.

I hope this helped, and I hope good things come to you soon.

Lmk if this was helpful, or if you ever wanna chat :)

#ex religious #apostate #asks

[practically-an-x-man]

fanfic asks!

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

J -Write or describe an alternative ending to your favorite fic that you've written

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

C: What member do you identify with most?

hope you're having an amazing day <3

thank you!!! hope you're having an amazing day too, friend! <3

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Man I am a SUCKER for what I call "assholes to lovers", where it's not quite enemies to lovers, but just two people constantly teasing/ribbing on each other until whoops feelings.

(I'm trying to come up with examples and the first thing in my head is the end scene in Black Mirror's Nosedive, but I think a better example is Andrew and Margaret in The Proposal)

(Also my fics Smoke and Mirrors and Desert Song kinda use this too)

J -Write or describe an alternative ending to your favorite fic that you've written

Ooh, I don't know if I can pick a favorite! Plus a lot of them are still ongoing, so I haven't quite reached the ending yet. But I'm usually a fan of happy endings, so I think it could be interesting to explore something a little darker as an alternate ending.

(sorry for the not-quite-answer, I genuinely pored over this one for like five straight minutes but genuinely couldn't choose)

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Oh God... my friends will tell you, I write ANGST. There are some serious contenders here.

Character and her wife get kidnapped by sirens, character is forcibly turned into a siren. Overwhelmed with bloodlust from the transformation, her wife is given to her as her first victim

Angel falls in love with a human and ends up revealing herself as an angel. This is punished by the angel Falling, and the human being blinded and having her memory wiped

Character's love interest develops Huntington's, she takes care of him for about a year before he disappears. It's assumed that he left to end his life discreetly, so she wouldn't stumble onto it. Two years later, she's kidnapped and tortured to express her mutant gene (in case you can't tell, this lines up with the Deadpool movie), and she runs into him again, but he's changed...

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

I've never done one, but I'm not opposed to it. I think it could be interesting, but I also feel like it could be a challenge to write in tandem with another person, with differences in strategy, characterization, and writing style

C: What member do you identify with most?

Of the canon characters I've written for, Warren Worthington III. There's a LOT of his story that I empathize and connect with, in so many different ways. Hell, I got his wings tattooed across my back, and that's not just because I like his character! (both the feathered and the mechanical, one set above the other)

Of my OCs, that's a little tougher. I do put pieces of myself in each of them, because that makes them feel more lifelike to me. Katherine's an artist with a penchant for museums because I'm an artist with a penchant for museums. Robin is an opera singer because I adore music and have been in choirs for five years. Ophelia is a bisexual, science-minded powerlifter because I'm all of those things. Quinn and Jasper are queer and punk because I am too, and Quinn is disabled as a reflection of my own joint problems. I could keep going, of course, but the point is that they're all a little bit like me, because then I can make my passions their passions and it feels that much more natural to write

#my friends!!! #answered asks #ask game #fanfic asks #oc asks #my writing #fanfic #fanfic author #my ocs

[dndmidnight]

welcome to greatness (backstory - part 1)

author's note: hello there, anyone stumbling upon this! this is my first post on this account and i'm going to be, for now, taking you along for the story of my dnd character, wild. i'm quite new to the dnd scene and, as a result, my depiction of the world might be off and if so, i do apologize! i would love to hear from more seasoned players and enjoyers what i could fix up to make things more accurate! that aside, though, i do want to say that i am more than open to constructive criticism to the story itself as i'm trying to make my story (and eventually stories) fun and enjoyable for everyone! i haven't written a genuine story like this in a long time and i'm... definitely more than a little rusty (not to mention i've never been the greatest at writing). but! that being said, i do hope you enjoy the start to what will, hopefully, be a relatively long story! backstory itself will be two parts and, well, we'll see what the future holds for the rest of the story!

word count: 1,428

the sound of the panflute filled their ears as they sat across from their father, looking over the man as though they hadn’t seen him a million times before. as it happened every so often, they found themselves seized with the curiosity to know where they had come from, who their birth family was, and when they’d ever get to explore outside of the feywild. though this place was, undoubtedly, home to the child who only had vague memories of life beyond the plane, they couldn’t stop the yearning to know the things their father had only given them vague answers about.

“you’re giving me that look again, wild,” the satyr before them stated, a brow raised as he lowered his lips from the instrument in his hands. “what is it that you still find yourself wanting to know?” the question was one that wild was certain he knew the answer to but… they found themselves compelled to respond anyways.

“father, how come you’ve never taken beyond this plane? you tell me stories of your own time beyond all the time but… you’ve never once let me step beyond into the very plane i was born.” wild shifted from their previous position of leaning back on their hands to instead sit upright and crosslegged, iridescent eyes focused intently on the man before them. 

“in fact, any time we discuss the matter in regards to me, you always try to sidestep it. you knew well enough when you took me in that i’d eventually get curious about where i come from. after all, it’s not hard to tell that i come from beyond this plane. there’s no other tabaxi here but me.” wild kept their voice steady, though frustrations from prior conversations like this one rose in their chest, threatening the rise of their voice.

watching as the man closed his eyes and released a sigh, the former air of jolliness from his tune turned somber as he looked down at his adopted child, extending a hand for them to grab as he’d done with every other conversation before this. yet, all the same, they found themselves accepting the outreached hand, refusing to break eye contact as they did so.

“as you well know, you are not of this realm,” he began, dark eyes meeting the iridescent colors of wild’s. “you come from a parallel plane where magic and time don’t quite work the same as they do here. and part of the reason i keep you here is because of that.” a sigh escaped him as he looked down at their hands before continuing. “i worry that if i let you go out there you’ll just be disappointed at what you find. for all we know, your birth parents could have died in the time you’ve grown up here. or, on the other hand, you shouldn’t have aged at all for them and you’d simply seem like a crazy fool for trying to seek them out.”

as wild listened to the matter, they found themselves shifting uncomfortably as they learned of this information. while they knew this plane, which was only parallel to that of which they’d been born, operated differently, they couldn’t imagine, truly, that it would be that differently. yet, they also knew that, without his usual tell of withholding information, he was right.

“could there be a chance, though, that the time between us and them has not been so horribly warped, though?” they questioned, slowly bringing their cat-like eyes level to his own once more. “and… even if they’re gone or it’s only been a few months for them, surely someone would understand, wouldn’t they?”

there was an uneasy look in the satyr’s eyes as he contemplated his next words, squeezing wild’s hand tighter in his own for a moment, looking as though he was going to speak before backing out, leading to the tabaxi individual to speak up once more. “and what about this prophecy of greatness you told me about when i was younger? that the reason you brought me in was because you believed i could help others and achieve greatness in my life?” the leopard-person’s eyes had turned to that of almost pleading, their padded hands grasping their father’s own humanoid ones with enough pressure to have their claws peak out. this was a level of desperation that was new to them, something that they felt so strongly, they almost didn’t realize that their hands had gripped ever tighter on to the satyr’s.

there was a silence that fell between the two as it seemed like wild’s father waged a war in his own head, silently debating what he should tell them. after a long while of this silence, with a pained look, the satyr man finally released wild’s paws before standing, turning his back to the cat-like individual. “the clan that you were born into was one ruled by a tabaxi lord - an evil man who couldn’t look further from what you and your other clanmates did,” he revealed before finally turning back to them, a look in his eyes that wild couldn’t quite place, seeming as though he was looking into the past itself.

“when i brought you in, you were just a small thing wandering out by the woods, your parents preoccupied by something or the other at the call of the shaman in your clan. i had been watching over the clan for a few months at this point, aided by a prophecy i gleaned from the stars - likely the same one your own parents had named you after.” there was a pause here as he looked to wild, watching as they too moved to stand, curiosity at the story bright in their eyes.

“it was at this point that i knew i had to take my chance to rescue you, to get you away from the clan and raise you myself. though i’m almost certain your parents themselves weren’t nearly as evil as the lord of the clan and shaman that assisted him, i couldn’t risk letting them raise you into someone who was trapped there. especially knowing the prophecy that was calling for you. so, i took you away from them to care for you as if you were my own. i know not what exactly it is you’re meant to achieve in your lifetime, only that you’re meant to help people.”

as he finished this statement, a silence hung in the air between them as wild took in this new information. though they knew they were brought in as a result of this so-called prophecy, they’d also been under the impression that their parents had abandoned them or had passed them off to him. not that he had… stolen them away into some other plane. and for as much as they wanted to feel angry about it, they could only stop short at confused, hurt, and wondering what their life would have been like if he hadn’t gotten the chance to kidnap them.

“so you’ve kept me from them for… what? to make sure i wouldn’t defect back to this clan? so that i could fulfill some prophecy i probably can’t even fulfill while stuck here?” they questioned harshly, grinding their teeth together as they set their jaw, anger finally coming out on top as their primary emotion. yet, they also couldn’t find it in themselves to wait for an answer as they turned away from the man who had raised them, storming off to their own room in the little home they had.

if he wasn’t going to let them out of this place, and it felt clear to them that he didn’t plan on it for a long while, they would just have to go themselve, right? taking a bag they had stashed in the room, they began packing a number of items into it ranging from clothes, to a dagger, to their ocarina before pulling the ties shut and knotting it before exiting the room once more, finding themselves faced with a confused satyr. it was obvious he was going to ask what they were doing and, before he could bring the question out, wild was pushing past the much shorter man, and out of the opening of their home, setting their sights on somewhere far away from the city, wanting nothing more than to escape the lie they’d been living up to this point. their destination currently, though? the forest. if there was any place best to try and escape this plane, it was no doubt the forest, right?

#oc #dnd #dungeons and dragons #original story #welcome to greatness #storiesbymidnight

[psqqa]

having successfully curated my online experience to such a degree that i never see any fandom drama cross my dash that’s anything less than third-hand is fantastic, but it also means that whenever it does happen it’s a very confusing time

#i have finally figured out the gist of the situation with this fic that is apparently ruining everyone's life/ao3 experience #but am now left with the question: am i just That Good at selectively forgetting shit i don't vibe with #or do i somehow navigate ao3 in such a weirdly specific manner that i've managed to avoid what seemingly nobody else has? #because i genuinely could not tell you if i've ever stumbled across this thing or not

[whosscruffylooking]

The Purest Things-Damaged

Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader

Warnings: Mentions of rape, murder, and cheating. Canon-typical violence. 

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: and so we begin our descent into the world of slow-burn! this piece begins at the end of season 3 episode 13 & carries into seasons 3 episode 14. thank you to everyone who has interacted with my stories, commenting and reposting helps creators so much! enjoy this installment :)

The Purest Things Masterlist

Gif Credit: @hqtchner

january 2008

Bookend: “We are all damaged. We have all been hurt. We have all had to learn painful lessons. We are all recovering from some mistake, loss, betrayal, abuse, injustice or misfortune. All of life is a process of recovery that never ends. We each must find ways to accept and move through the pain and to pick ourselves back up....Each tragedy is an announcement that some good will indeed come in time. Be patient with yourself.” ― Bryant McGill

Another day, another murderer locked away. This case proved that sometimes, the so-called "good guys" can be just as selfish as the "bad guys." The special agent who recruited the BAU's help, Jill Morris, used this case to obtain personal fame and grow her career.

You sit next to Rossi aboard the plane. He had a more personal interaction with Morris throughout the case, and you can tell her actions have left him more than disappointed.

Looking out the window at the sun setting behind the clouds, you mumble to yourself, "What's the difference?"

"Did you say something?" Dave speaks up.

Looking to him, you brush it off, "Oh. Nothing. I was just talking to myself."

He crosses his legs and smiles a warm smile at you, "Penny, for your thoughts then."

"I guess...I just don't understand how Jill Morris's motives can be any different from Jeremy Andrus's. Of course, Jill didn't murder or rape anyone. But, she exploited this case for her own personal benefit. She didn't just use the unsub; she exploited the victims as well. How is that any different than Jeremy using women for his own gratification?"

David sighs, "Aristotle said, 'Every practical pursuit or undertaking seems to aim at some good.' Our brains are wired for love and solidarity. Greed forms to undermine that wiring and trick others into believing that their means to an end is done for "good." People believe that to maintain that myth, any and all costs to others are simply casualties in the long run."

"There is all the difference in the world between helping another soul and exploiting their hardship for your own gain and deceiving yourself that they are the same," he continues, "I tried to show Jill that. But, I think she's already determined that the reason she does this job is not for the same reasons that we do. The rush of catching a suspect comes second to the excitement she gets when being praised for her achievement."

"What happened to her empathy," you wonder, "Empathy is a natural foundation in each of our lives, and our society functions on it! How could that not overpower her desire for recognition? I mean, for Christ's sake, her friend just died!"

"Unfortunately," he solemnly says, "It is harder to understand the motives of our peers than it is to profile a serial killer."

+++++

You wake as if there is an emergency, like sleeping had become a deadly thing, your heart pounds, and thoughts jumble throughout your brain. Shooting up from your seat, you crawl over a sleeping Rossi and stumble your way to the bathroom.

Your knuckles turn white as you grip the edge of the sink. Looking cautiously into the mirror, as if you are uncertain of what you'll see, you take in your ghostly appearance. Sweat beads drip down your forehead. Unable to comprehend the blurry remnants of your dream, you turn on the faucet and splash your face with cold water.

Upon exiting the bathroom, you notice everyone is sound asleep. Thank goodness no one noticed your state of panic. You notice that one overhead reading light is on and look to see Hotch awake and blankly staring out the window.

"Can't sleep either?" You ask, sitting across from him.

"Are you alright?" He asks, trying to deflect your attention.

You squint at him, unwilling to back down, "Are you?"

He looks at you intently, taking the sight of you in inch-by-inch. No one has asked him that over the past few weeks. In fact, everyone has seemingly been avoiding him since he was served his divorce papers. Perhaps they are doing it because they are unsure how to support him or genuinely feel that what he needs right now is space.

However, you know that being alone is the last thing he needs right now. "Hotch, I know it isn't my place, and I--I'm sorry if this is overstepping. But that expression on your face that you've worn for the past few weeks isn't foreign to me. Perhaps to everyone else, it is. They don't know what to do or say. You're their unit chief, and they are used to you being strong and keeping it together for the sake of everyone else."

He straightens his posture, his attention centered on you.

"I witnessed firsthand the ways that divorce can torment people. My parents got a sudden divorce when I was 14. It was unexpected to all of us. My father was unfaithful, and although my mom was willing to forgive him, he didn't want to put in the work anymore. He found a new outlet for his frustrations. I watched my mother and father waste away for years," you lament.

Hotch sits on the edge of his seat, his eyes trained keenly on you. It was odd for him to make a connection so quick, to give his trust so easily. In fact, he hardly trusts at all. Dave and Haley are the only ones who have really been given an insider's peek into the mind and heart of Aaron Hotchner. There was something in the way he listens so actively to what you are saying. You would be lying if you said you didn't notice his gaze aimed at your lips.

There is a sympathetic and heartfelt concern he shows for you, one second only to your own regard for him. He listens like he is absorbing your words. The longer you spend in each other's presence, the more you both realize that this is the kind of friendship you both have needed for far too long. Even if the words go unspoken, you share an empathetic understanding of one another, and you are sure it has been there since the day you met. Hotch has been fascinated by you since he watched your interview with Strauss over and over again, though he would never let it be known.

+++++

February 2008

Today is the day that you get to accompany Hotch and Reid on the Criminal Personality Research Project to interview Chester Hardwick before his execution. Hardwick's case is one you know inside and out. You wrote a research report on it that was awarded the Graduate Student Ethics Writing Competition winner for the American Psychological Association and was published in their Ethics and Behavior journal. Agent Hotchner suggested that you tag along, considering you know just as much about the case as Spencer does.

You and Spencer absentmindedly fiddle with the knickknacks that rest upon the desk as you wait to be escorted to see Chester Hardwick.

Hotch's phone begins to ring, and he answers it, "Yeah, J.J... Um, no, it's--It's a personal matter. Yes, thank you. I will take care of it when I get back."

"Everything okay?" You ask softly.

"Yeah, fine." He says abruptly.

"We can do this interview another time," Reid offers.

Aaron huffs, "Well, he is scheduled to be executed next week."

"I can take the lead on the interview if you w-" Reid unintentionally pushes.

You cut him off, "Reid."

Hotch shoots you an appreciative look.

Anytime sir.

"Agent Hotchner?" A relatively short man wearing freakishly petite glasses comes to the door.

The Unit Chief shakes the man's hand and introduces you and Spencer.

"You're here to see our infamous inmate Hardwick," the warden exclaims.

"Yes," you say, "He agreed to meet with us as part of our Criminal Personality Research Project before his execution."

The man smiles widely, "I've read your research on Hardwick many times. I must say, seeing your perspective on the mind of such a prolific killer was very enlightening."

You beam with pride at his commendation. Instinctively you look to Hotch, who appears to have the slight trace of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

You wonder, how can he go from scowling and frustrated one minute to fighting back the urge to smile at the mention of your achievements? You bite your lip to suppress any further needless excitement.

The warden continues to ramble, "Serial killers are kind of a hobby of mine. Chester is the only one I've ever met in person, though. I bet you've met quite a few."

"Sir," Hotch interjects, "We'd very much like to get started as soon as we can."

Time to put our serious pants back on.

You can visibly see your superior's annoyance, and you stifle a chuckle.

The warden quickly composes himself and apologizes for his enthusiasm, touching his hand to Hotch's shoulder in the process. Hotch's mouth falls agape, and his sights shoot to you. A small snort escapes you, and you cover your mouth, attempting to conceal it as a cough. He squints at you as if he is mentally murdering you. You crinkle your nose at him.

Don't mentally murder me when we are about to interview one of the most prolific killers of our time.

The warden leads you into the small cell that you will convert into a makeshift interrogation room. Soon enough, you hear the clanking of chains echoing in the hallway. Everyone's eyesight is fixed on the door.

A silver-haired man dressed in a yellow jumpsuit walks in with an air of arrogance and determination. He glares at Agent Hotchner, who mirrors the prisoner's actions exactly. Hotch states that keeping the prisoner chained will not be necessary, a call that both you and Spencer are unsure of.

Hardwick sits across from you and leans into the table, "I know you."

"And I know you. Too well, I think," you respond.

A menacing grin sweeps across his face, "Oh, I like you already. How about you send these two away so the grown-ups can talk."

You can hear your boss scoff from behind you.

"Chester, it's time to get serious."

"You were born April 4, 1950?" Spencer asks.

"Does my birthday really matter?"

"It's customary for us to start at the beginning. We want to know as much as we can about your childhood," Reid continues.

"There's nothing to know. It was average. I lived in a nice house on a quiet street. I ate cereal, went to school, watched cartoons."

"I don't have time for this," Hotch raises his voice, causing you to jump slightly, "You grew up in a series of projects, each one worse than the last. You spent your teenage years peeping into your female neighbors' windows and burglarizing their underwear drawers when you got the chance. You set 100 small fires for which you spent 2 years in juvenile detention."

You glance at Reid from the corner of your eye; you are both uncomfortable with the direction Hotch is taking this.

"We've done extensive research, Mr. Hardwick," you say, gently trying to soften the blow and appeal to the man's ego. If Hotch is taking the bad cop role, you need to be this psychopath's ally.

"We've talked to almost everyone you've ever known," you continue, "including your mother."

Chester swivels on the balls of his feet, "Good ol' Jean? I'll bet she was a real treat."

"At this point, lying to us isn't really possible or helpful," Spencer offers a slight smirk to the man.

"Y/N, right?" the prisoner turns his attention to you, "They're wrong. They're all wrong."

"About what, Chester?" You implore him.

"I started a lot more than one hundred fires," he peers out the window.

You look up at Hotch, and he sighs in surrender.

Chester antagonizes you three, stating that no one care's whether or not they hear the truth. In between his jabs, he strays to various different series of thoughts. Most are meaningless, but it is his way of trying to get under your skin. For you and Spencer, it is relatively easy to maintain your composure. For Hotch, however, Hardwick's digs do nothing but add fuel to the already lit flame under the special agent.

"Let's talk about the specifics of this case, Chester," you interrupt his rant, "Why did you choose Sheila O'Neal?"

He shakes his head, "You gotta show me a picture. I don't know their names."

As if you can feel Hotch's anger radiating off of his body, you brace yourself for the oncoming strike.

"Is that what this is all about," he says disgustedly, "Some chance for you to relive all of this?"

"I have an excellent memory," Chester brags.

You tune his impassionate speech out and focus your observance on your boss. His scalding stare at Hardwick can only translate one way, 'I have initiated my emotional indifference. I could kill you and not care one bit. So proceed with caution.'

"They were toys, a diversion," you hear Hardwick chant as you tune back into the present. Hotch looks anywhere but at the killer in front of him, his gaze eventually landing you. You are some kind of shelter to him that neither of you has yet acknowledged or come to understand.

Your stomach churns at Chester's descriptions of his victims. He describes them as useless objects that, once their purpose was served, were discarded like garbage.

"Why did you ask us here?" Hotch charges.

The wicked man looks at you, his eyes void of a soul and his stare sending a chill down your veins. 

"I wanted to speak to her." 

Your breath catches at the back of your throat.

With that, Hotch straightens up and fervently positions himself between Chester and you. "Reid, pack it up," he commands.

Reid looks to you, "Are you sure?"

"No, now." Your superior repeats himself with even more fervor. He presses the buzzer to signal the guards to release us and says, "Have a nice trip. You're going where you belong." Hotch makes sure to put as much distance between you and Hardwick as possible. He buzzes the ringer again. No response.

"It's 5:17," Hardwick chuckles.

You close your eyes, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. Reaching out for Hotch's arm, you lower his hand from the buzzer. "The evening yard begins at 5 o'clock. No one is going to come open that door for-"

"At least thirteen minutes," Chester disrupts. He waltzes over the table and takes one of the images of his victims into his hand. Holding it up as if to brag to us about it, he says, "And it took me less than five minutes to do this."

You push aside your worry. Instead, you choose to focus on all of the information you have accumulated over the years about Chester Hardwick. There has to be something you can use to your advantage to diffuse this situation.

"Perhaps in all of your research, you should have familiarized yourselves with the guard tones," Hardwick jeers.

"I heard the tones," Hotch counters in a monotone voice.

"So you planned to be locked inside with me, with no guns or weapons."

Hotch shakes his head, his voice more natural than before, "I won't need a gun."

Spencer places his hand on your arm and begins to guide you to the other side of the room.

"There's no way I am going to be executed next week," Chester taunts, kneading his hands together. "Not after I kill three FBI agents. You saved my life by coming here." His venomous words ring in your ears.

Hotch's tone deepens, "Unfortunately for you, I am not a five-foot-one-hundred-pound girl."

Your pulse quickens at Hotch's threat, and your attention is rapt by his display of dominance. He begins to shed his jacket. You feel yourself flushing; attraction suddenly entangles you as if it were an invisible rope.

Now is the worst possible time to be feeling this. Calm down.

"All of your life, you've gone after victims who couldn't fight back," he fiercely says, "and the rest of the time you spent looking over your shoulder." You understand the intensity in his tone and sense a great deal of emotion behind his words.

He rips his tie from his collar, and your breathing hitches in the back of your throat. Hopefully, Spencer doesn't notice, and if he does, he chalks it up to the deadly situation you find yourself in.

"You were always worried about the knock on the door," Hotch doesn't back down, "Scared that somebody like me would be on the other side waiting to put you away."

Well, if you keep ripping your tie off like th--no. Not gonna go there right now. Focus on the pyshco-killer threatening to kill you.  

Now, Hotch intimidatingly points his finger directly at Hardwick.

If only I were on the receiving end of tha--no! Now. Is. Not. The. Time.

"At your core, you are a coward," Hotch fires.  

You have to do something. Hardwick is enraged, and Hotch has nothing left to lose.

Without even giving it a second thought, you blurt out, "Chester, do you want to know why you killed those women?"

"What?" The prisoner hisses.

Spencer speaks up, "Earlier, you said you wished you were different. We can tell you why you are...what you are."

He begins moving towards you, and out of the corner of your eye, you notice your boss carefully making equal strides. You motion for him to stop.

"You can tell me why I did what I did?"

"I think so," you nod, "Don't you, Dr. Reid?"

"I do. Your mother is bipolar. And almost certainly an undifferentiated schizophrenic. Your father suffered severe shell shock in the war, what we now refer to as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. As far as I can tell, he remained clinically depressed the rest of his life."

"Exactly," you say, giving Spencer a chance to gather his thoughts after having thrown him under the bus.

"53% of all serial killers have some form of mental illness inherent to their families. Chester, in your case, both of your parents suffered from psychological disorders, which they essentially took out on each other as much as they beat you. So, violence sort of became a normal expression of love in your household," you say, eager to have some kind of breakthrough with him while subliminally directing Spencer's string of thoughts to follow yours.

Allowing Reid to pick up where you leave off, he takes charge of the conversation and explains how a portion of one's brain wants what it wants without conscience or judgment. A part of the brain that no doubt took over Hotch's reasoning powers moments ago, though you do not blame him.

"Earlier, you said your victims never had a chance. I think you know deep down that it was you that never really had a chance," he concludes. And with that victorious resolution, the guards unlock the door. Hotch storms out, and Reid follows behind.

"Is that true that I never had the chance?" Hardwick calls out after you both.

You stop in your tracks, "I don't know."

"Maybe," Spencer nudges you out the door.

++++

In the car, Hotch looks at you in the rearview mirror, "That was smart to get Hardwick to focus on himself long enough for the guards to come back."

You pat Spencer's shoulder, "I give all the credit to boy wonder and his beautiful statistic-filled brain. I'm sorry for all of the times I said you were running out of storage with all of that useless data."

"I find that I do some of my best work under intense terror," he declares, "Wait. Useless data? When did you say that?"

You pinch him softly and chuckle, "I'm kidding."

"I'm sorry," Hotch sighs.

You meet his gaze in the mirror once again, "For what?"

His chestnut eyes reveal pangs of remorse and guilt, but something tells you there's more to those feelings than what occurred at the prison.

"I antagonized the situation."

"No, you didn't," Spencer states.

"I certainly didn't help."

"Well, I can't argue with you there," you kid.

His piercing eyes suddenly twinkle, causing you to blush slightly. You quickly look down at your feet until your cheeks cool down.

Hotch sighs in defeat, "So Haley wants me to sign the divorce papers uncontested so that nobody wastes money on lawyers."

That statement is all too familiar to you. Yet again, your heart shatters for the Hotchners.

"You don't want to?" Spencer asks innocently.

He means well, but you know from experience that such a question only unleashes a tidal wave of painful emotions for the one fighting for his family.

"What I want, I'm not going to get," Hotch laments.

His eyes, once filled with depth, now distant and empty.

++++

Glancing up from your paperwork and into your supervisor's office, you take note of his gravity-drawn shoulders that carry the weight of the world on them. He repeatedly picks up a stack of papers and then drops them back down atop his desk, covering his face with his hands.

"What do you think is going on up there?" Derek asks, pointing his pen in the direction of the office.

"I might have an idea. I'm going to go take my report; anyone else's done?" They all hand you their paperwork for you to deliver to the boss.

You hesitate to knock on his door but apprehensively do so anyways.

He invites you in. Your heart sinks as you approach his desk, able to get a closer look at his beaten expression. You always knew he was hiding pain behind his tough exterior, but now he wears it on the surface, most likely unintentionally.

Placing the paperwork on his desk, you notice the heading on the papers he was gripping tightly.

SUPREME COURT STATE OF VIRGINIA: MARITAL SETTLEMENT AGREEMENT

Hotch's eyes move slowly, laboriously, to look at you as if it takes a concentrated effort to do so.

"Heartache is a real thing," you sympathize with him, "In fact, Reid even told me that a broken heart can show up on medical scans. When a heart breaks, your body and brain need time to recuperate. There's no set amount of time or remedy that will heal you. Don't set your expectations of yourself too high, and surround yourself with the people who love you."

His chin trembles, and his eyes flutter as he blinks back tears.

You turn to leave the room but look over your shoulder one last time, "We are all here for you, Hotch."

Just as you are about to shut the door, you hear him call out to you, "Y/L/N!"

His stare reveals a vulnerability you have had yet to see in him.

"Call me Aaron."

Tag List 🏷

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[stay-tinystars]

Traveling Teacher

Ship: Mark (NCT) x fem reader.

Traveling teacher, non idol au

Word count: 1585

Warnings: reader has very anxious thoughts at the beginning.

A/N: random story I started months ago. I hope you all enjoy this random story. I wanted to write something for Mark, because he's just adorable. I'd love feedback on what you think of this story.

Deep breath in, deep breath out. That's all you kept repeating in your head. You had to calm down, it was going to be alright. He would be here any minute, he was just running late. He wouldn't have asked you here just to stand you up, or would he? This couldn't be another prank.

 Leaning forward you rested your head in your hands. Trying to focus on the things around you to ground yourself. You felt the slight breeze around you. The sound of the birds, and the city. The wooden bench beneath you. The feel of the gravel under your shoes. The light weight of your jacket across your shoulders.

The anxiety of the situation seemed to decrease as you focused on the things around you. The sound of shoes against the gravel sounded calming.

"____, You actually came." his words pulling you back to the present, immediate relief flooded through your chest. You looked up to see him smiling at you, he seemed pleased.

"Of course, you asked me to come." You smiled as you stood up dusting off your dark jeans, fixing the hem of your shirt and adjusting the light jacket. You felt lightly undressed. He looked like a model, per usual. His perfectly styled, yet messy hair swept back from his forehead, the leather jacket over a vintage band shirt, and a pair of jeans.

"I wasn't sure that you would actually show." his eyes on the ground as his fingers ran through his hair. His eyes then met yours. "You're usually really reserved, I was afraid I might have scared you off, saying it was a date. I'm glad it didn't." his eyes becoming little crescents, as he gave a genuine smile.

The butterflies in your stomach seemed to swarm, as he guided the way. You started down the path towards the main part of the park.

-------------

Mark was a traveling music instructor, so he came to the primary school twice a week to teach beginning band, and choir. Being an office aid you saw him when he picked up his badge checking in for his class, and when he returned his badge. 

The first day he came in, he took you by surprise. The last traveling teacher was a grumpy older man, Mark however was literal sunshine, always kind and friendly to everyone he came across. The children adored him, and all the ladies at the school gushed over him, single or not.

In the few words you would exchange as he checked in and out, you slowly got to know him. You both shared a love for music, especially live music. Last week when he mentioned going to the free concerts in the park you talked with him about some of the ones you attended last summer. That's when he invited you to join him for the mini festival of cover bands that weekend. Completely ignoring the other flirtatious aid, who offered to go in your place, being as you 'didn't get out much'. He just smiled and looked back at you, stating it would be a great getting to know you date. After that he left. You were as red as a tomato, laughing internally at your coworker who was now insisting that there was something wrong with him.

---------

"We haven't ever discussed what made you want to be an office aid at a school" Mark noted, as you strolled towards the outdoor amphitheatre.

"Truthfully I never planned on being an office aid" you laughed. "I wanted to do something with kids, but I didn't want to teach. I considered being a school librarian, but every job I applied for fell through. Then someone my mom knew was retiring from being an office aid, and my mom gave her my resume. I got a call for an interview for a job I never applied for. They ended up hiring me immediately after my interview. I guess the rest is history."

"They must've known you'd be great with kids." He remarked as he guided you towards the small seating section.

"I'm not so sure. I think they needed someone who was kind, but had a firm hand. So I got the job."

"I've seen you with some of those kids. Even the troublemakers listen to you." He praised as he motioned towards the reserved seats in the third row off to the side.

"I'm nowhere near as good with them as you are. You helped Jin get into that special summer program, which I never expected to happen. Especially after he flushed Mrs. Kim's prized fish last year." You praised back as you both took a seat.

"I heard about that." He chuckled. "Jin has a lot of potential, he just didn't know how to direct it. All I did was guide him, and help him on the right path."

"Is that why you became a traveling teacher?"

"Actually, no." He let out a small laugh. "I was supposed to be in Law school. After the first semester I knew I couldn't handle it. I had been tutoring kids in music lessons when I decided I would just try that path. I must say I feel like I make more of a difference now, then I would've as a lawyer."

"You do make a huge difference at my school. The kids are always excited when they get to have Mr. Lee's class. We also have less absences on the days you teach."

"I don't know that I make that much of a difference." His ears turned a slight pink.

"You do. I'm sure we will see many kids in the music industry in the future because of you." 

"Guys look it's Mr. Lee, and Miss ____." A child yelled from behind you. The two of you turned in your seats,, to see a few students getting settled in the grass a ways behind you. You both smiled and waved.

"I bet they are on a date!" Another said loudly, your eyes looked down, as you turned around in your seat. The blush was apparent on your cheeks. As Mark made a big scene of stretching and putting his arm around you. A light giggle left your lips as you looked over at him, with a questioning look.

"What?" He asked, and you glanced at his arm then back up to his face. "The kids have to learn somehow. This is how to be smooth." he nodded then did an over the top wink. You laughed again, covering your face with one hand, shaking your head. He was anything but subtle or smooth.

Soon the music started, the energy pulsed through the air. You both sang and danced along to cover after cover. The first band played music your parents listened to.

The second band played music from the early 2000s which Mark ended up serenading you with.

Between bands you just sat, and talked. He found out your favorite movie. You found out he loves cookies and cream Ice Cream.

The last band was a big band 1950s style cover band. During a slower song Mark spun you around, dancing between the rows of seats.

The mini festival seemed to end as soon as it began. The sun had started to pitch in the sky, when Mark asked you to join him for dinner. With a nod of your head you both set off towards the main road in search of food.

"Can I ask you a question?" Mark asked, as you both strolled the main walkway.

"Of course" you looked towards him, curiously.

"If I were to hold your hand would it make you uncomfortable? I mean if you don't want to we don't have to. I mean this is our first date. If you want to consider it an official date. I am but..." he stumbled over his words, he seemed as panicked as you felt. Your lips slightly turned upwards as you reached for his hand.

"We never know unless we try right? That's what I tell the kids." you stated with a small nod, as his fingers encompassed yours. His thumb gently rubbing the back of your hand as you walked together.

"That's a good way to look at it. I like the way you look at things. I've noticed that you like to look for that silver lining." He noted, as he glanced towards you, slightly bumping you with his shoulder.

"I have to, it's the only way to keep the storm clouds from taking over." the words came out before you could stop them. His hand gently squeezing yours.

"Storm clouds are part of life. I've encountered my fair share of storms, but most people dwell on the storms." His words settled in your skin. "You don't seem to though."

"It takes rain to make a rainbow." You said quietly, taking a deep breath. "I've been through a lot of storms, some destroyed me. Though those I've learned as the storms come to try to make the best of it, because I know there is a rainbow coming."

He paused his stride, softly pulling your hand making you stop, you turned to face him. His smile was genuine and pure. The setting sun gave him a warm glow.

"You know, I'm starting to think you're my rainbow." His soft words made you melt.

You could feel the heat in your cheeks and ears, as you looked towards the ground. Then back into his eyes. "You might be mine as well"

#nct 127 fluff #nct mark fluff #kpopcatalog #Mark Lee x fem reader #mark lee fluff #nct mark x fem reader #nct fluff #nct fanfic #nct scenarios #nct mark scenarios #nct mark fic

[one-boring-person]

I loved writing this idea, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! Thanks for requesting @jawline-of-steel !💛💛

You Wanted To Talk To Me?

Edgar Frog x reader

Warnings: mentions of injury

A/N: this is heavily referenced to my other series, Only Traitors Consort With The Damned, which you can find on the masterlist.

Masterlist

"Man, just talk to her." Alan rolls his eyes as they stumble through the training course together, wet mud slicking their trousers and shirt fronts, hair and clothes soaked through from the pelting rain, bodies trembling from how hard they've been working.

"Talk to who?" Edgar responds, playing dumb as they throw themselves at a climbing wall, chests smashing painfully into the solid surface.

Neither if them speak for a minute as they haul themselves upwards, cresting the wall with some difficulty as their leaden arms struggle to hold their weight, their muscles screaming in protest, though they both manage it. From the top, the rest of the course is visible, a few other cadets just ahead of them, each of the pairs released from the starting point in "waves" so that they can be timed. Both of the boys sigh out audibly as they take in the view, not taking too much time as they swiftly climb to their feet and leap from the top, reaching for the heavy ropes hanging from a structure across from them, the rough material grazing their hands painfully as they slip down it a little. Ignoring the discomfort, they swing their legs in time with the momentum of the rope and kick off it, landing on a far platform, rolling as they land, ending up face first in yet more dirt, signifying the beginning of a net crawl.

"You know who I mean, Edgar. (Y/n)! You should talk to her." Alan manages to explain, voice strained from the exertion required to pull his body through thick mud.

"Why should I talk to her?" Edgar grits out, hands scrabbling frantically in the filth as he struggles to pull himself through this particular obstacle, glad to see the end if it not far out of sight.

"Because it's very obvious that you like her."

"I don't like her." The response is almost automatic, a reflex designed to protect his real feelings about their fellow trainee.

In truth, Edgar had had a crush on the girl for a good few months, having been interested in her as soon as he first laid eyes on her, nearly six months ago, when he and his brother signed up for the SRS. Neither of them had ever really thought about taking their vampire hunting that seriously, but this all changed when the dark-clad Soldiers converged on Santa Carla, their hometown, a couple of years ago, hunting down one of their own, who was seen as a traitor. The hooded men had come into the comic shop searching for some help, only to be confused by the Frog's zealous attitude and rough introduction to the supernatural side of the town, swiftly recognising potential in them. When their Hunt was over, the result of which they never found out, the men returned to the shop, offering to enlist them in the training program as soon as they turned the correct age, stating that the minimum age for joining the SRS is sixteen. Now at that age, the Frog brothers were quick to travel to New Orleans, where they found the headquarters and signed up, completing the theory section with flying colours before they moved onto the physically demanding practical side: hunting.

When they first started this stage, the two of them were easily overshadowed by some of the others in the group, despite already having four kills under their belts (so to speak), their smaller stature allowing some of the larger, physically stronger cadets to overtake them in the rankings, though it was much to their surprise when they found out one of the best was a girl named (Y/n). With a pretty much unknown backstory, the sixteen year old girl had shown up many of the other cadets, holding her own in many of the harder exercises, showing off her aptitude for shooting and fighting, flooring some of the most muscular rookies training with them with ease. It was no wonder Edgar developed a crush on her.

"Frog! I do hope you intend on moving soon, or you'll be stuck on clearing duty for a week!" A senior officer snaps at him from somewhere to his left, drawing him from his brief lapse into his head.

"Yes, ma'am!" He shouts back, knowing how they hate to be ignored.

"Get a move on!"

Gritting his teeth, Edgar follows his brother out onto the next stage - a variety of elevated logs providing bridges across a swampy areas of ground. In the pouring rain the logs have already become waterlogged, making them slippery and dangerous.

Approaching one, he leaps up and grabs the end of it, quickly heaving himself onto the narrow stretch of wood, catching his balance before he steadily steps along it, going with the incline as much as possible, biting his lip as his feet slip a little on the wood. Nearing the end of the log, he locates the closest one to it and jumps to it, landing shakily on the lifted end, repeating the process until he has safely crossed it, catching up to his brother as they run the last few kilometres across the marshy land, breathing heavily in the pouring rain. The finish line comes into view, the posts signifying its presence only just visible through the rain, the flags topping them slapping wetly against the poles they are attached to, concealing the familiar insignia of the SRS from view.

With one last push, Edgar and Alan throw themselves over the finish line, trying not to collapse in exhaustion as they quickly stretch out their stiffening muscles, neither of them saying a word until they've caught their breath back, going to stand with the other cadets who have already finished it.

"One hour, fourteen minutes and forty-three seconds. Not bad, Frogs, not bad." The drillmaster informs them as they get close, the two of them brightening up slightly at the sound of that; it's a new personal best.

"Nice one, you two." A familiar voice congratulates them, the two of them turning to find (Y/n) standing there, a genuine smile on her features, mud striping her cheeks like war paint, most likely the result of her team mate getting a little over-zealous on one of the obstacles.

"Thanks." Alan smiles back, looking to Edgar as he struggles to reply.

"Err, yeah, thanks, you did really well, too." He finally manages, blushing as he looks away, suddenly feeling very hot.

"Thank you." She acknowledges, making eye contact briefly before turning away, going back to her team mate.

"You're smitten." Alan rolls his eyes, looking over at his brother in exasperation.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Stop trying to hide it, Edgar, I'm your brother, I see all these things."

*

The drillmaster's words ring clearly in Edgar's head as he steps through the darkened corridors, making his way in and around broken furniture and piles of ceiling debris, his helmet limiting his vision greatly.

"Don't get caught off guard, or they'll have your ass for breakfast."

Of course, you'd hope that he was being metaphorical, but the cadets are all aware of one fact: he isn't. Not when they've all been tasked with clearing an abandoned hospital of the supernatural beings squatting there, particularly the wraithes and their carnivorous tendencies, most of which are to blame for the hospital's fall in the first place.

A piece of glass shattering behind him snaps him from his thoughts, the sound instilling a sense of fear into him as he slowly turns, freezing in place when he sees a shape in the hallway behind him. From where he is, he can't tell what it is, but he knows it won't hesitate to kill him, so he lifts the gun in his hands to shoulder level, cocking it gingerly, body shaking in fear. Aiming steadily, he let's the flashlight roam across the shape, only to let out a breath when he sees what, or rather who, it is.

"(Y/n)?!" He hisses out to her, surprised that she is in this part of the building.

"Edgar? Is that you?" Her voice floats back over to him, the cadet holding up a hand to shield her eyes from the bright light.

"Yeah, it's me. You found anything yet?" He responds, secretly pleased that she actually remembers his name.

"No. Have you?" She clarifies, coming over to him, her gun held comfortably over her abdomen as she stays prepared, ready to shoot anything dangerous.

"Not yet."

"That's good." She looks him in the eye, "I kinda wanted to talk to you, though this probably isn't the best time."

Edgar gazes at her, surprised at what she is saying, an eyebrow lifting under the visor of his protective helmet.

"You wanted to talk to me?" He asks, incredulous.

"Yeah, I do." She nods, looking away again, her fingers tapping nervously on the stock of the gun.

"What about?"

She is silent for a minute, before she takes a deep breath and responds, relaxing her shoulders as she tries to stay calm.

"I just wanted to tell you about how I feel about you. Edgar, I know this is weird because we don't really know each other, and you probably don't feel the same way, but I, well, I like you. A lot."

There is an awkward moment of quiet between us as he tries to figure out how to respond correctly.

"You...you like me?" He finally manages to ask, not quite believing what he heard before.

"Yeah, I do. I understand if you don't feel the same way, but I just thought you should know." (Y/n) explains, going to move past him, before he stops her with a hand on her arm.

"(Y/n), I've had a crush on you for the longest time, I just didn't know how to tell you." He informs her, waiting for a reaction.

"...really?"

"Yeah. Just ask my brother, he figured it out pretty quickly."

She smiles beneath her visor, clearly much happier now that the initial worry is over.

"I'm glad. Maybe when we get some free time, we could go on a date?" She suggests, adjusting her grip on the weapon.

Edgar smiles back at her.

"I'd like that."

#the lost boys #joel schumacher #vampire #Edgar frog #Alan frog #Edgar frog x reader #request #Edgar frog imagine

[jjmaybanksblog]

Good Old Days - JJ Maybank

Gif credit @toesure !

Summary: you and JJ meet once again after a harsh break up.

Word count: 1,982

Warnings: cheating, angst underage drinking, implied sex at the end. I do NOT condone the action of going back to someone who cheated.

You sat alone in a booth at a local restaurant, diagonal from where your friend Nicole sat with an unfamiliar boy. You had offered to 'be a look out' for the girl when she brought up how her friends had helped her get a blind date. Nicole had the fear that she might embarrass herself or something might go south, so you decided to lend a helping hand to calm her down.

You subtly flicked your eyes up and down from the menu to your friend as a waitress came up to you. "What can I get you hun?" 

"Just a vanilla milkshake and fries please." The lady nodded and took the menu from your hands. You reached inside of your bag and pulled out your notebook. Finding a pen, you began to mindlessly draw little doodles of whatever came to mind. 

You were actually enjoying the peace and quiet until the front door bell chimed. Before you could react, JJ Maybank took the spot right across from you. "Can I help you?" You scoffed, closing the notebook. 

"Nope. I'm helping my friend out and it looks like you happen to be doing the same thing for your friend too." JJ said, looking behind his shoulder to see his friend give him a thumbs up. You rolled her eyes, defensively crossing your arms.

"Okay, well how about you move to the other booth where you can 'help' by yourself." JJ dramatically put his hand to his heart, "does Y/F/N Y/L/N not want to spend time with me?" "The last time I was near you it didn't end well." You hissed. JJ immediately got quiet as the waitress came up to deliver your order.

"Oh! Would you like anything dear? On the house for the couple!" The waitress smiled, "oh no we're not-" "actually I would love a hamburger and a chocolate milkshake please!" JJ grinned. "Coming right up." 

"Seriously JJ why can't you just sit somewhere else?" You asked as you dipped a fry into the milkshake. JJ furrowed his eyebrows as he watched you take a bite. "What? It's good." You defended.

"See I could, but Steve made me promise to help him out. And now I get to talk to you which is exactly what I want to be doing on my Friday night." Sarcasm dropped from his voice as you bite your tongue.

"Well you can leave. You never were good at keeping promises anyway." You seethed, taking the cherry out of the milkshake and popping into your mouth. JJ became quiet once more as the sudden flashback hit him.

Flashback:

2 years. 2 years was all it took for something so positive and bright, to turn into something dead. 2 years was all it took for JJ Maybank to own, and then break your heart. 

You two had been dating for a full two years, both of you guys admitting you were in love. Making promises that you two couldn't keep. One of them being, 'I'll always love you.' 

JJ broke that the minute his lips touched some tourons at an end of the year school party. You had lost sight of your boyfriend in the middle of the party after telling him you were going to the bathroom. It took you 10 minutes to find him with the unknown girl. 

"Have you seen- oh." Your words slipped your mind as you saw a boy and girl break away from a kiss. Only to reveal that face that made your heart break. "I better... I better g-go." You stumbled over your words, your legs moving as fast as they could out of that house and far away from JJ.

You didn't know what to do, what to think, how to act, what to say, everything just became numb. Like someone had just ripped your heart from your chest, and dangled it in front of your face as if it were mocking you. So you just ran, and ran all the way to your house. Dried tears stained your face as you were panting, on the verge of passing out. 

Your mind felt fuzzy, as if it were an old TV and an antenna was knocked loose, like all you heard was static and a ringing. You shook your head frantically as you paced in the living room. A rapid knock echoed in the silent room as you let out a sob. You slowly walked to the door, your hand shaking as it hesitantly reached out.

You twisted the handle and pulled the door open to reveal a frantic JJ. "Y/N please let me-" "Don't even fucking start JJ." You said, cautiously backing away from the door. JJ walked into the house as he tried to grab hold of your wrists. 

You pulled your wrists back from JJ's grip as you began to have trouble breathing. "You fucking kissed some random girl. Who knows what the fuck would've happened if I didn't walk into that room." You mumbled to yourself as your head began to ache.

"Y/N you know I wouldn't do that!" "When you're in a relationship you don't fucking kiss somebody else! I didn't think you'd do that yet here we are!" You raised your voice as you paced again.

"Open your fucking eyes, it's so obvious I'm in love with you!" JJ yelled back, causing you to flinch, his breath smelled of alcohol. Your eyes suddenly fell to the ground, afraid to look at him without breaking down.

"You need to leave," your voice wavered, "you need to leave and not come back. You can't look at me. You can't speak my name. You can't have anything to do with me, Maybank. We're fucking done." You breathed out, feeling as though you had a boulder crushing your body.

"Y/N. I made you a promise that I'd love you, please let me keep going with that promise." JJ begged, his eyes burning harshly with tears. "You broke your promise, you can't come back from that."

JJ let out a sigh as his head slumped down, forcing his legs to walk out the front door, and out of your life.

Memory over.

"Look, this isn't a guilt trip: I just genuinely want to know if you dislike me so I can stop bothering you." JJ said, fidgeting with his fingers. You sighed as you swirled the straw around the milkshake. "I don't dislike you as a human, I fucking despise what you did to me." You admitted.

"I've changed Y/N. I haven't been with any other girl, I haven't spoken with that other girl since then. Please just give me a break. I've been busy trying so fucking hard. I'm doing the best I can. Please, please don't ask more of me." JJ frowned, his leg now anxiously tapping.

You let out a scoff, but you couldn't lie to yourself. You missed being with JJ, you missed him so damn much, but you didn't want to admit it. Your eyes flickered to your friend who was standing up and giving Steve a kiss on the cheek. 

Their date was over, but you and JJ sat firmly in the booth. "Let me just drive you home like the good days, just hear me out." JJ begged. You cracked your knuckles, a habit you gained after the break up. "Fine. But so help me Maybank if you fuck it up you will never, I repeat ever come speak to me again." JJ let out a breath of relief and thanked you.

You couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit of luck when he offered, glad that you chose to walk to the diner. You two sat in silence for a bit of the ride before JJ turned on the radio. 'Wonderwall' by Oasis played through the sound system, memories of this song hitting you in the face like a brick.

JJ began to obnoxiously shout the lyrics like he would when you guys went on drives together. He would roll the windows down, blast the volume and just let it all out.  At first you were annoyed with the boy, but as soon as he nudged you with his elbow you began shouting the lyrics as well. At that moment, things felt normal. Like nothing bad happened between them, and that scared you shitless.

When the song ended, JJ turned down the volume and began to speak, "you know, I never took your school photo out of my wallet. It's still there. And every night after... we broke up, I would just look at it and cry. Because I drank and I ended up losing the best thing I ever got in life. And believe me I know drinking is no excuse for what I did. I lost the one person that understood me more than my other friends, than myself. And I fucked it all up. And I know I can't take back what I did. Saying sorry won't change the hurt I made you feel. But I want you to know I'm truly trying my best to be a different person than who I was before." His voice was shaking as he found it hard to look at the road.

"I can try to forgive you Maybank, but that night has been burned into my memory. And it's gonna take a lot of time before I can forget it." You mumbled, looking out the window watching the trees zoom by.

"I'd wait 100 years if it meant that you would talk to me again." JJ muttered as he pulled into your driveway. "Do you.. want to come in? And like, catch up?" You wanted to punch yourself in the face for your offer, but again you couldn't deny how much you missed him.

JJ was shocked at your words, his mouth slightly open as he nodded his head. You walked into your house and to your luck, nobody was home.

You guys sat in your room, silence filling the air once again. You walked over to a picture frame on the desk and picked it up. The picture was of JJ after he had fallen asleep with his head in your llap. "Remember this night?" You asked as he looked over your shoulder.

"Yeah. I came over to make cupcakes for John B's birthday but we ended up just throwing flour and eggs at each other." JJ laughed loudly, remembering how he would find flour in his hair and ears for days after. "Then we sat on the couch and you laid your head in my lap. I played with your hair until you fell asleep and you snored so loud." You smiled at the memory.

"God I fucked up." He whispered. "Yeah. Yeah you did. When you sat across from me in the booth I wanted to flip my shit. I wanted to go off on you and say something like, 'oh fuck off you piece of shit. You think I care about you? That I give a damn about your feelings? Fuck off.' I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me." You confessed. 

"Damn Y/N. I- I don't even know what to say." JJ said as you faced him. You couldn't help but stare at his lips, the lips you craved so desperately. You hated yourself for this. You hated yourself for making this move, but you leaned in anyway and kissed him. You were taken back at your actions, but your knees nearly buckled at his touch.

JJ gently held the side of your face as he pulled back. "I don't want to hurt you." He said, his words echoing in your head. "I'm desperate. And I'm pretty sure you are too. This is a one time thing until you gain my trust back. But for now, just shut up and have sex with me."

#jj maybank x you #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank imagine #jj x reader #jj outer banks #rudy pankow #rudy pankow imagine #rudy pankow x reader #rudy x reader #rudy obx #kiara outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #rafe outer banks #outer banks #kiara x reader #obx kiara #kiara carrera #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe obx #rafe cameron #sarah cameron #madelyn cline #madison bailey #pope heyward

[mithranqueersmusings]

I Think I'll Love You Too II

Chapter: 2/?

Rating: U

Summary: George and Ringo have been going out officially for a couple of months. Ringo anticipated that dating a stripper would be complicated, but he didn't understand exactly how complicated it would be.

Tags: Modern AU, Established Relationship

Pairing: George Harrison/Ringo Starr (Background McLennon)

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

The following clean-up from their nocturnal experiment was far from easy, the wax seemed to crumble into tiny pieces and was determined to cover each inch of the carpet. George was insistent on doing most of the work, a struggle of manners ensued in which Ringo was adamant that he should help but eventually gave in and took up George's offer to relax in the bath.

Soaking in the warm water, Ringo's mind began to wander to their first official date. It seemed like such a long time ago now, although it had only been a couple of months at the most. Ringo could vividly picture arriving at George's house for the first time and picking him up for dinner, bruises still dotted across George's pale skin from the somewhat embarrassing but retrospectively rather comical fall at the club. Ringo had struggled to figure out the best place to take George, unfortunately the only advice available was John's.

"He's a vegetarian." Ringo emphasised for the fourth time, John had once again offered up a meat-only establishment.

"Oh, well you could've told me sooner." John scoffed, sometimes Ringo couldn't tell whether he was joking or truly that oblivious.

"What about sushi? That can be veggie, right?" Ringo was fiddling with a bouquet of flowers that had been left on John's kitchen counter, a small card had the name 'Paul' written on it, punctuated with a kiss.

"Sure." John offered "You could always, and hear me out, ask where he wants to go."

Ringo rolled his eyes "Great advice John, thanks. What if he doesn't know either?"

"Then you're both helpless and you belong together."

In the end Ringo had settled on sushi, which only calmed his panic somewhat because he still had to find which sushi place was best. He'd forgotten all about how stressful dating could be, and it'd been a long time since he'd been a proper date. Eventually he settled on a fairly affordable place that wasn't too far from his house, he felt rather silly calling up to make a reservation an hour in advance but he didn't want to risk embarrassing himself by not having a table booked.

This struggle with the restaurant left Ringo only an hour to get himself looking presentable for the date, his closet was emptied onto the floor and bed as he rummaged around for something suitable. He felt like making more of an effort than usual, this was one date he didn't want to screw up, especially knowing how fashionable George was likely to look. In the end he settled on a paisley blazer, it had been a gift from John years ago and had hardly been worn, and a black shirt underneath which he experimented with the buttons of.

He left himself just enough time to brush his teeth, sort out his hair and tidy the room as quickly as he possibly could. Hurrying over to George's in the car, he'd almost forgotten to be nervous about the date itself. Almost forgotten, because as soon as he knocked on George's door Ringo felt a wave of dread washing over him. He hadn't even thought of any conversation starters, or what he was going to order at the restaurant. As he waited for an answer, the dread only festered further. Yet once the door finally opened, revealing George draped in a decorative kimono, all fear subsided.

"Hi." Ringo spoke, suddenly sheepish.

"Hey." George replied with a grin, stepping out onto the street and locking the door behind him.

The two of them looked at one another for a few moments, eyes tracing from head to feet with no words being said. George was wearing makeup: his eyes darkened with liner and mascara, his gaunt cheekbones sparkling with highlight and his lips painted a tempting shade of red. Ringo could see that he'd tried to use foundation to cover over the bruises on his face but it wasn't entirely successful, not that it mattered.

"You look great." Ringo managed to get out without stumbling over his words as they walked over to his car.

"Thanks, so do you." George responded but Ringo supposed he was only trying to be polite.

Passing a shop window, Ringo stole a glance at the reflection and found himself presently surprised at how good the two of them looked together. Ringo was even beginning to believe George's compliment, a surge of confidence arising merely from being stood next to George. He'd anticipated that George would only make him look worse, but there was something complimentary in how the two of them were dressed. It was a small boost that Ringo needed to quash his nerves, he was determined to not ruin the night just because he was feeling anxious.

"So... Where are we headed?" George asked, stretching his legs out in front of him.

"Sushi." Ringo replied more curtly than intended "Is that alright?"

"I love sushi." George answered cheerily.

"What a relief." Ringo chuckled "I'm not gonna lie I was struggling to find a place to eat, with you being a vegetarian and all."

George paused for a moment "You remembered that?"

"Of course I did." Ringo panicked for a moment, afraid he'd said the wrong thing and given too much away but the smile that spread across George's painted lips calmed him back down.

It didn't take them long to arrive at the restaurant, it was rather busy but not so much that it would become uncomfortable. Ringo still couldn't believe his luck, that he'd actually been able to get a date with George. Looking back on how their relationship started, it was strange to consider that they'd end up here.

"Is your face alright?" Ringo asked when they'd been seated, it was hard to not notice the swelling on George's lip.

"Oh yeah, it's fine." George provided evidence with a genuine smile "I've had way worse, don't worry."

"You fall over a lot then?" Ringo joked, looking down at the menu and feeling a little intimidated by the amount of choice.

"Only when I know you're there to catch me." George winked "No, I've had my fair share of scraps here and there. That's just life, isn't it?"

Ringo chuckled "Not in my line of work, no."

"Don't be so modest, I haven't forgotten when you beat up that creep in the club." George was studying his menu with far less fear than Ringo "Any idea what you're gonna order?"

"Haven't the faintest." Ringo read the same words over and over again as though it'd help him understand "What about you?"

"Hmm, I think so." George answered with a confidence Ringo envied "Want some help?"

"Please." Ringo smiled sheepishly, laying down his menu and looking to George for assistance.

The date was hardly going as Ringo had anticipated, but while George went through dishes on the menu with a clear expertise Ringo couldn't stop himself from smiling. The intimidating Spike was describing in detail the difference between maki and temaki with such delicacy, it was such a strange moment of realisation for Ringo that made him truly understand how far they'd come. Ringo realised too late that he hadn't been listening to what George had been saying but it didn't matter in the end because George ordered for the both of them.

"So..." George began, drink in hand.

"So." Ringo repeated with a raised eyebrow.

"How long have you been waiting to take me out?" George asked with a knowing smile.

Ringo half expected this line of questioning to begin, he only wished he'd prepared some answers "Does it make a difference?"

"I'm just curious." George leaned in a little closer, a devilish look in his eyes.

Ringo sighed "Now I'm debating whether to lie so you don't think I'm a loser."

"I wouldn't bother with that, I already know you're a loser Ringo." George spoke deadpan, staring without expression then burst into laughter "I'm sorry, I had to."

"And that's meant to encourage me to be honest?" Ringo laughed nervously.

"Come on, tell me." George sounded almost whiny, a tone Ringo had heard before but never in regular conversation.

"Fine, fine." Ringo conceded after drinking his beer "In all honesty it was probably the first time I saw you... Not that I thought you'd ever say yes, of course."

The answer seemed to satisfy whatever itch George had "Really? I'm that good looking am I?"

"Not to sound cliché, but have you seen you? I don't think I've seen anyone more attractive." Ringo spoke somewhat seriously.

George blushed just slightly, having to look away from Ringo's intense gaze "You're sweet. But why were you even in the strip club in the first place? You didn't seem too at home, at least from what I remember."

Ringo felt rather complimented that George even remembered how he'd been acting all that time ago, he'd always supposed he hadn't left much of an impression at all and whatever he did was surely negative.

"John dragged me there. He, uh-" Ringo stopped himself before saying too much "Thought it'd cheer me up."

George squinted his eyes in suspicion "What aren't you telling me?"

Ringo paused, debating the best verbal exit strategy but the good beer and even better food was slowing his thought processes "Uh... Nothing?"

"Oh come on." George kicked Ringo lightly under the table "You think I'm gonna judge you?"

"Well, yes... But fine, I'll tell you." Ringo chuckled, pausing for an anticipatory breath "I'd been going through a bit of a... dry spell, so to speak."

A grin spread across George's face "Seriously?"

"Seriously." Ringo repeated, hiding his shame behind his beer.

"I find it hard to believe that you were having a 'dry spell'." George rested his hand on Ringo's own, his finger tracing around the metal of the rings.

"Well, I'd, er- I'd still be having one if you hadn't come along." Ringo stammered "Shit, that sounds really pathetic, doesn't it?"

"Just a tad." George smiled reassuringly "I'm just glad I could be of service."

"For a while you were making it worse, actually." Ringo had finished his beer and was itching for another "With all my pent up frustration and then I see you undressing on that stage, I nearly lost my mind."

George chuckled, looking rather proud of himself "I can only apologise for being so tempting." He emphasised the word by running his tongue over his top lip onto his sharp canine tooth.

"No need to apologise, it's your job after all." Ringo tried to remain composed "And in the end it all worked out so... No harm done."

"My aching body disagrees." George pouted his still somewhat swollen lip.

"Well... That was your own fault really." Ringo joked, finally catching the waiter's eye so that he could order another beer.

"You're right, you're right." George's hand was still pressed against Ringo's "Hopefully from here on out all the pain will be consensual."

Ringo blushed "Hopefully."

Later that night it was clear that there was no longer any need to be hopeful.

#the beatles fanfic #beatles fanfiction #the beatles fanfiction #the beatles #starrison #george harrison/ringo starr #george harrisonxringo starr #ringo starrxgeorge harrison #ringo starr/george harrison

[vellikvr]

Won’t you make time to waste time (waste time with me) ? Part Two

[ Link to Part One ]

Yoongi requests a break to catch his breath. Sweat clings his skin to his clothes in an irritating way, Yoongi just wants to free himself out of it for a few minutes, maybe that would secure a stable breath for a change.

The backstage hall is where he kneels down and rests against the wall, taking long gulps of his water. He’s hot across his face, his heart is jumping out of his throat, making his chest light but tingling with nerves. He’s forgotten the lack of ambiguity his career has become.

It’s clear that Min Yoongi works night shifts at the nightclub as a popular dancer. He’s among the talk within his city. He’s an interesting topic that’s taken flight recently. Of course familiar faces would be seen after his customer status has increased in the weeks.

But why, of all people, is Hoseok still living in this city.

Yoongi licks his lips, realizing that his nerves are sending him to the bathroom. He jumps up and scurries out of the backstage into the public hallways. One turn of the hallway leads to the bathrooms.

Yoongi reaches that corner, but gets stopped by a tense figure.

Yoongi’s eyes are wide open, his breath shortens. He knows the person just by the atmosphere, except unlike usual, the person comes off distraught.

Yoongi’s eyes are wide open, his breath shortens. He knows the person just by the atmosphere, except unlike usual, the person comes off distraught.

Yoongi can’t look up at him, not here. If anywhere, it’d be away from here.

He stumbles, “sorry,” then shoves past the man. That fails when a hand latches on his wrist and pulls him. Yoongi dares to look up just once. It dawns on him that Hoseok is more concerned than disgusted.

“Yoongi,” Hoseok utters, his eyes probing at Yoongi’s stance. Yoongi can feel them like a pebble lodged under his feet.

Yoongi can’t confront him here, his soul will rot and decompose within himself if this were the way to mend ties.

Yoongi snakes his arm out of Hoseok's grasp and trudges toward the bathroom in a domineering gait, knowing that a second pair of feet are followed behind.

Seconds are all it takes for Yoongi to be shoved inside the bathroom and pushed against the wall.

Hoseok. His childhood friend of so many years. His first genuine, one-sided love, demands: “Don’t ignore me like I’m one of those men out there.”

Yoongi’s chest tightens, his heart beating faster than ever. His wrists are pinned against his sides, his whole body is shadowed by his old friend ahead. This is the worst thing to have happened.

Yoongi looks anywhere but at him.

“Yoongi,” Hoseok pleads, following the older’s eyes with desperation. “Where?”

Yoongi’s not prepared for Hoseok to raise his voice: “Where—the fuck!—have you been this past year!”

Yoongi feels a bit smaller, in a matter of seconds.

“You—you ignored all my calls!” Hoseok shouts, tightening the wrists. “You blocked me—blocked me everywhere! You have been nowhere! You haven’t been at your usual locations! I visited your parents and they don’t give a shit! I asked your friends…and they didn’t give a shit!”

Yoongi flattens his lips tightly. Yeah, he did do that.

“As your closest friend…I feel—I feel utterly offended! I feel so betrayed! I feel like I don’t even fucking know you anymore!” Hoseok keeps trying to meet the eyes of his long lost friend.

“Yoongi. You can’t just leave and expect everything to work your way! I’m so fucking pissed at you, I can’t even believe you’d do this to me…of all the people!”

Yoongi closes his eyes slowly, taking in what he deserves. It’s true, he left on no sour note, no good note, on no note at all. He just disappeared. The only people that know are his parents and a few friends, but he promised them to keep this a secret.

Now that he realizes all the actions made for the sake of keeping Hoseok out of his mess, he’s the worst friend in the world.

All because he loved him too much.

“I somehow had to find out you’ve been working at a nightclub,” Hoseok starts to release his hold of Yoongi wrists. “—dancing for these old men…”

Hoseok drops his hands low, clenching his fists tightly. “I never thought you’d relinquish your dignity for this shit.”

Yoongi owns it completely now, facing the problem that caused all of this, it’s what’s looking back at him in the mirror behind Hoseok.

“I thought I was the one you’d tell everything to. I thought I was the one that—would know things first,” Hoseok unchlenches his fist with a short exhale. “I really fucking thought that.”

Yoongi watches attentively, like he’s comprehending all that’s unfolding. He expected it to happen somehow, but this feels so early to process thoroughly. He would have rehearsed a way to communicate this at some cafe with Hoseok.

But here he is. In the bathroom of the nightclub, where he works, in a skimpy costume, confronting a friend who’s never witnessed this other side of him. He’s embarrassed. He’s unprepared, but he’s processing and contemplating on whether to speak his mind at this very moment.

“Can you at least fucking speak?” Hoseok asserts.

Yoongi contemplates. He wonders of the damage that his temptations could bring at this very moment. He’s usually reserved outside of this, in his personal life. But it’s like all of his pent up urges are clawing out of him.

“Say something, Yoongi.”

It has to be said.

Yoongi sighs, but still keeps his eyes away. “I have been…thinking about the time to meet you again…but I haven’t mustered up the courage.”

“Mustered up the courage for what.”

“To tell you that I’m gay,” Yoongi answers.

“Okay?” Hoseok takes a step back, giving Yoongi some space. “I assumed you had something similar to that.”

Yoongi nods, looking around the renovated bathroom. The mirrors are so clear, he can see the golden highlights among Hoseok’s coarse hair.

“I still don’t understand why you couldn’t have just said something.”

Yoongi bites his lip, knowing that the answer is on the tip of his tongue. There’s no way out of this one. He’s in it hard and he won’t get out unless he just goes for it.

“I know something’s on your mind when you look away from me,” Hoseok implies, leaning against the sink from the opposite wall of where Yoongi’s still feeling shackled against. He looks beautiful tonight, Yoongi hasn’t seen him so well dressed in so long.

“Please, Yoongi, you’ve changed so much, but I’ll willingly accept you as the Yoongi I've been friends with since forever. Just tell me and we can work things out.”

In Yoongi’s perephrial vision, he notices the anticipation in Hoseok eyes. It demands the truth, as if he already knows the truth.

Yoongi's bottom lip quivers in an anxious tremor. He’s unbelievably red across the face, but what’s more obvious is the loud beating inside his chest.

“Nothing has ever changed between us. I promise you. I want you back and in my life again. I'M willing to work things out with you just so we can mend things,” Hoseok says.

“I’ll make time for you, even if it’s wasting your time. In fact, I’ll waste time with you just to make things right.”

It’s a compromise. Extremely selfless, unlike Yoongi.

Yoongi’s selfish.

He’s selfish for what he wants. That has never changed. Even now. With his first love and him being alone in this bathroom.

Yoongi pushes forward, only taking seconds to build up that courage he’s been wanting since forever, and invades Hoseok’s space before connecting his lips onto Hoseok’s.

Hoseok’s hesitant, but returns only initially before pushing Yoongi away. It shocks Yoongi to feels a slight give of lips from the other. He’s blissed, a sense of shocking mutuality that sends butterflies down his stomach.

Hoseok clamps onto Yoongi’s shoulders and forces him back a slight distance. The kiss only lasts a second or two, but Yoongi is already feeling a weight lift off his shoulders.

Hoseok’s eyes are blown wide, but holds Yoongi still by his shoulders. He’s panting with heightened tension. “What are you doing…”

The question comes off more of a rhetorical, so Yoongi pursues rather than answers right away.

And then the bathroom dissipates into a silence. The only sounds are from the two men building up a certain want they can’t quite figure out yet.

Noises come off like whispers. Yoongi’s right hand reaches forward. Hoseok looks down and watches the long hand glide across the expanse of collarbone then up his neck. He shudders under Yoongi’s simple touch, giving a sort of arousal inside Yoongi’s chest.

Yoongi curls along the side of his neck, watching the way a rosy blush creeps across Hoseok’s face. Hoseok’s aware of it, since he peers high up to avoid the other. Hoseok gulps, his adam’s apple prominent. Yoongi’s observant of it, because he can drown in the image of Hoseok reacting to his touch for hours.

Yoongi’s eyes risk it all to see the other’s eyes, and the other feels it since Hoseok immediately peeks back to meet them. They’re quiet, but equally daunting. Hoseok rakes down Yoongi’s outfit before looking back up. He still doesn’t express disgust or reluctance, but genuine need for something Yoongi wants to see to believe.

Yoongi leans in, inches away, before smirking, breaking the liquid silence of the room:

“Wasting time.”

…………

#wip #sope #yoonseok #alternate universe #au #sunshine hobi is on break right now

[karasuno-writings]

Hey! I've recently stumbled across your blog and I was wondering if you could do head canons for Kageyama, Kuroo and Tsukkishima with a chubby s/o who's insecure about their body and how the boys would help them with it. It's totally fine if you're too busy too :))) Tysm~

hi!!! headcanons for tsukishima, hinata and kageyama (seperate) with a chubby s/o! thanks 🥺

hello, i love your writing on this blog!!!! can i please request headcanons for suga, hinata, kruoo and terushima with a chubby s/o? thank you :D

Hi lovelies!! So!! I had these other requests on my ask box since a while ago! So I decided to do them all together since they are really really similar!! Since only one asked me to tackle insecurity I’ll add them to all but with a slight separation in case anyone wants to skip that! Thank you all so much for requesting and I hope these are fine!!

Thank you for the request!!

These took waaaaay longer than expected oh my, I hope they are enjoyable and fine!! Sorry for the lack of activity and all too, it’s been a harsh few days and I don’t even know why? And the only person who knows how to help me cope is gone so yeah, but don’t worry!! I’ll be answering your stuff!!! Love you all!!

____________________________________

Hinata

He did not think much about it at all, honestly? Not something that crossed his mind until it was pointed out by you.Baby is confused, what does it have to do with anything? You are amazing and he loves you because you are you and of course you are all beauty and take his breath away.

Your hugs and cuddles? The best thing, he loves wrapping his arms around you and just leaning on you, you give the best hugs

He also loves sleeping while leaning on you, he does it mostly on accident because honestly you are so nice to lean on and such a great partner to cuddle

He is really affectionate with you, he is always there to cheer you up, he presses kisses all over your body if you ever let him. 

If anyone dares to say anything about you he will stop for a second and just look at them with that psycho look the baby does when he tries to be intimidating, it always works. He might be small but he is ready to throw hands for you

Insecure?:

It might be a little hard for him to notice straight away when you are feeling insecure, he is very disperse and really not one to make harsh assumptions if there is no real reason to, so it's not your attitude that tells you off, is your words. You don’t need to tell him, but how you speak and what you might say is how he notices.

Once he notices his eyes just go big and your hands are in his right that second, and he has this absolutely adorable look right that second, his eyes are so tender as he looks at you. Then he goes on rambling about how perfect you are.

This baby cannot lie, he genuinely loves you so much and he constantly reminds you all the reasons why he does so. He reminds you of all your qualities and how if he is with you it is because you are the most awesome partner out there. 

He also tells you how beautiful you are to him and if you let him he will plant kisses all over your face, telling how much he loves you after every kiss.

He makes the best to make you feel cute and comfortable with yourself because he wants you to be happy.

Kageyama:

If someone does not give a single damn about appearance it is Kageyama. He really does not care for looks, sure, you take his breath away and honestly he adores you, but it is not why he fell for you. 

It is not that he does not think you are pretty, you take his breath away quite often. But it is rather that he is more attracted by how you carry yourself, by how you go around on your day to day. You are looking at something you like with excitement in your eyes? Adorable and perfect. 

When the two of you started dating he however payed more attention to your appearance, he loved your eyes, your smile and he loved you overall, he could see no wrong in you.

When you two are alone he loves to cuddle you, he traces his fingers up and down your skin, on your arms, your back and almost everywhere. 

He also knows how to perfectly work with his hands, he will massage you if you allow it.

The first time he hears a bad comment about your appearance his first reaction is true pure confusion. Why would anyone think that? However, soon the confusion is done for and his face immediately darkens, he is creeping up behind the person and while he is not good with words he tells them off. Lets just say that people know better than to say bad things about you because he will kill a bitch. 

Insecure?: 

He is thick headed, he is so damn oblivious to everything it is even adorable, sadly this means he probably will not notice when you are insecure. He just can’t think how you cannot love yourself considering who you are, he acknowledges your flaws, but your appearance? It is perfect for him

However the second you mention it he frowns, he looks slightly mad; the second he turns at you his face turns tender, and he has this almost sweet look. He loves you and it saddens him that you can sometimes forget how incredible you truly are. 

He is not very outspoken with how he feels; he would show it rather than say it, but as he knows you are insecure he will try with all his might to not leave his thoughts about you as just thoughts. This is what makes it most genuine; when he sees you and thinks you look pretty he will say it; at first it will be hard for him, but he will try because he cares for you. 

He will hold you so tight and tell you how he sees not wrong in you. The way he touches you, so fragile and with such love conveys how he feels about you. He will softly kiss your hands.

His eyes are really expressive too, so if you know how to read him you will see the looks of adoration he sends you.

Again, he will not hesitate to go and intimidate anyone who makes you feel insecure.

Tsukishima 

If you are dating him it means he trusts you, you won your way into his heart and it was not only because he found you cute, it was because of who you are as a person, because of your sincerity and your personality traits. 

This means that no matter what he is loyal to you, he is staying by your side unless you break his trust or do something stupid, but he knows that you won’t. He opened up for you for a reason and your appearance, while attractive to him, could matter less. 

He is secretly a cuddler, when it's just the two of you he will lazily cling to you, and he finds you so comfortable, it is sweet. It is a good contrast to his lanky self, honestly he finds you really comforting. 

He also presses his lips against your skin, not so much as kissing you, but more of a touching you, it’s just a sweet way of his.

He is high fashion and he knows exactly what suits you the best in color and all, so his gifts always end up perfect for you, he makes sure you like it before really giving you anything. 

He really does love you, he is not very vocal but he shows it through action. He stares at you a lot, he adores how you look, he doesn't care if you catch him staring and will give you a cheeky grin as to tease you. 

Boy, if he hears even a slight bad word towards you it is on, he will not hold his tongue back and we know he has a harsh way with words. There will be no survivors.

Insecure?:

He is very observant so he notices your insecurity because of your actions, if there is a shift on your normal attitude he will notice, he will ask before making any assumptions.Once he knows it is because of you appearance he will understand that you might feel insecure due to stupid societies expectations, and he is a little mad, how could you think low of yourself when you are so wonderful?

“You should not think such things of yourself, that’s dumb” He is terrible at this and at first it may come off as if he was angry at you. However he notices this right away that he was harsh and might have just made things worse. he grabs your arm and looks at you, his eyes softening and a small sight escaping his lips.

“You are beautiful you know?” “Don’t compare yourself to others, you’d only put them to shame.” He compliments you in such a sincere way after that, his own style, but a true heartfelt compliment nevertheless. He just really loves you and wants you to love yourself too. 

He makes a mental note to remind you more often of what he thinks about you, how you take his breath away. It is rather hard if he forces himself; but if he thinks you look beautiful in an outfit you are wearing he will tell you, or whenever the thought crosses his mind and it feels genuine to him. You know he would only say it if he thinks so so you know it is true.

He will start thinking more about what he says, had he been so dumb as to say anything that might have hurt you? He becomes worried that he has, so he becomes mindful of what he says, don’t expect him to stop bantering tho he will mock you as much as before. He actually starts thinking whenever he says anything about anyone's appearance and stops his mockery on that aspect towards his teammates. 

Kisses the top of your head when its just the two of you; “You have no reason to think you are anything other than perfect”

Kuroo

This boy reminds you of how much he loves you in different ways, through his actions, his affection, and honestly? He just falls for you more every time he sees you.

He loves hugging you, he is really big on cuddles, so whether he be having his arms lazily around you or engulfing you in a hug he will absolutely love every second of it. 

Lazy days with him are the best, he loves laying his hair on your lap and having you play with his hair. 

He loves pressing soft kisses to your cheeks and honestly everywhere, specially if it makes you laugh, he loves to hear that. 

He pampers you a lot, lazy days are your favorite because they are filled with your favorite movies, baths together, tender touches, reading afternoons and videogames or other stuff you like.

He also loves showing you off, he is proud of having you as his partner and while he is not over the top with PDA he enjoys holding your hand and pressing kisses to your forehead. He likes taking you places and to hang with his friends. 

Any mean comments towards you? You do not only have him getting all serious with the person, but the whole team of Nekoma too, it is pretty adorable for you. He loves you and will not stand mean people, specially if they mess with you.

Insecure?:

He is also very good at reading people so he knows when you are insecure, the way you act around him is very prominent to him so the second you feel insecure and slightly uncomfortable he grabs your hands and rubs his thumbs to it, so he can ask what is wrong.

He is one to believe communication is the most important thing in a relationship, so he wants you to talk to him about how you feel and why. He listens with all his attention on you and when you finish he kisses you softly.

He reminds you of what makes him love you, of all those things that make you absolutely perfect to him, that he thinks you are amazing and beautiful. He does not hold back on his words, however he will not make anything up, the things he tells you is what he really thinks.

 He has such a way with words and he can be really poetic, telling you sweet things out of the blue, almost in a poem-like manner.

He digs deeper to know what makes you feel better, whether it be cuddles, details or dates, he always remembers what helps the most to make you feel loved. 

Suga

You are his love, the light on his eyes and you make him smile wider than anybody else ever had, he is smitten by you. 

If he loves you it is because of your looks and personality, he fell for you because of who you are and would do so a 1000 times more.

He is the biggest cuddle bug of the bunch, he will cuddle all day every day if you let him  and he loves it so much, he will just talk hours on end with you, his hands tracing figures and letters on your skin softly.

You are now mother of the whole team of Karasuno, I’m sorry you just adopted them all. Suga constantly invites you to practices to watch them and is more than glad to have you around whenever you want.

He is starry eyes with you, whenever you two are going on a date he has flowers and behind them when he sees you it is possible for you to see his face in awe behind them. He just approaches you to kiss your cheek and tell you how much he loves you.

He likes kissing your neck, just in a soft and tender way that leaves the aftertaste of his lips on your skin. 

If anybody is mean to you this baby will have a smile on his face while he becomes the most passive aggressive little shit ever; not only that but the third years will back him up. Everyone knows he will protect you on sight. 

Insecure?:

He knows you are insecure by how you talk to him, but he let’s you know he’d rather have you tell him so he can hold back from any assumptions. 

When he notices this his smile falters and its replaced by a soft one, his face is buried in your neck and he is kissing you lightly, after each kiss he will say things he loves about you.

He will hold you close and just remind you of how amazing you are and how he is proud of you and he loves you.

He will take you out to distract you, it always works to get you in the best mood and make you happy, he will pamper you with gifts and compliments. 

Terushima:

 He honestly thinks you are the cutest, this baby is ecstatic every time he sees you, catch him running towards you the moment he looks at you walking by. He hugs you tight and god hopes he does not tackle you 

He is so creative on dates, he always comes up with things the two of you will enjoy, he loves holding your hand every time the two of you go anywhere outside. 

You calm him down, wrap your arms around him and press soft kisses and he melts, you make him relax so much he just then buries onto you...that is until he shifts position every five minutes

He loves to kiss your cheeks and blow raspberries on them, he loves to make you laugh and very much like Kuroo will try to hear that sound he just loves.

He adores you and will tell you how amazing and great and beautiful you are every single day, he is very vocal with his love. 

He is not great at being intimidating or mean but boy will he try with all his might to stand up for you because he loves you.

Insecure?:

It might take him a while to notice how you are feeling and once he does he is a bit confused because he really sees no reason for you to feel like that. However he respects that you do and asks you to tell him why is it.

He is surprisingly a good listener; granted, he sometimes chooses not to acknowledge or act on what he listened; but with you it is never the case, he now knows why you feel like you do. He then hugs you and showers you with kisses.

He explains to you why you are amazing and why you should feel as incredible as you truly are, his arm movements are wide and he is really passionate on making you happy

If that does not works he will distract you and pretty much like suga take you to do things you like. 

Leaves cute notes for you all around your things, all of them highlighting everything he loves about you.

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu tsukishima #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #sugawara kōshi #sugawara x reader #Hinata Shōyō #Kei Tsukishima #kageyama #kageyama x reader #yūji terushima #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo x reader

[flowersinmytimemachine]

The German song that mentions Mclennon

Okay so as I've already said, there is a song in German that names John, Paul and also Yoko Ono. They are only mentioned in the chorus but concerning the topic of the song I think it is worth talking about.

The song is called "Kogong" by Mark Forster. (Sollten das hier deutschsprachige Leute lesen, bitte tötet mich nicht :D)

Here is the official music video:

1. About the singer

Mark Forster is a 35-year-old German Singer-Songwriter. He had his first major hit in 2014 and ever since has been able to become one of Germanys most famous pop singers. He is known for his catchy and easy-going tunes. Most of the songs talk about love, self-confidence or just having a good time.

Just like many people, I know a bunch of his songs without really being a fan. They just play his hits on the radio ALL THE TIME. Despite his fame, some people say that his songs literally sound more or less the same. (If you want to get a better idea of his usual sound, some of my favourites are: "Flash mich", "Au revoir", EFF- "Stimme")

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, "Kogong" is quite the opposite of that. Maybe you could hear that this song sounds rather melancholic and slow. And guess what? That piano that you can hear in the background? Yep, that's Pauls piano. Mark Forster literally flew to London just to record this song at Abbey Road Studios. He says:

"We recorded 'Kogong' at Abbey Road Studios, in Studio 2, where the Beatles made all their records. And the piano that you can hear in 'Kogong' is the same piano that Paul Mccartney played 'Let It Be' on. That was quite special for me and my band and I think you can hear that the old Beatles spirit somewhat comes through in it."

Kogong came out in 2017. It was released on the only album by Forster that has an overall more serious sound. So what exactly is "Kogong" about?

2. The lyrics

Here are two pictures, one with the German lyrics and one with a translation by me.

When you read the lyrics, you will probably see that it is kinda hard to understand, especially after only one listen. Quite a few phrases don't seem to make a lot of sense. Well German audiences were not so happy either with this piece. Some said that the melody is good even though nobody was used to this kind of song by Forster. But the comments online seem to share the same opinion on the text: Forster probably only wanted to show that he is also able to write more intellectual sounding songs. Many just view it as avantgardist crap. Then again the video has 20 Mio views on YouTube and is currently his 6th most listened to song on Spotify so 🤔

But now about the interesting stuff. How could ANYONE who knows at least the slightest bit about Mclennon not stumble across this line:

"I am fucking Yoko Ono. My heart is Paul and John."

My heart is Paul and John? Yes Mark, I couldn't have said it any better myself. So ever since this song came out, I was curious what all these confusing lyrics could mean. Where is the connection between this one line and the rest of the song? What did Mark Forster say about it?

3. Interpretation

Here is a statement by Forster:

"Kogong is the sound of the heart when it's listening. The song is about small and big things that my heart told me but that I kind of couldn't really hear. I really hope that I'll be able to pay more attention to it in the future, so maybe this song is my new start."

So the subject of the song is not really able to listen to its heart. Furthermore, the lyrics hint on multiple topics and problems that the person has to face:

Being not happy at all, maybe even depressed ("you're not fine, you're only half-way fine"), this could also suggest that the subject has to keep up a facade while suffering inside

Problems in a relationship, marriage or even having an affair ("what you still want from her", "you hug eachother for far too long")

Self-image, Self-acceptance ("Wherever you are, you will always be yourself", "you need your peace")

The above mentioned quote says that this is a personal song. Another time he said that he realised that he wanted to become a singer while walking on the Road to Santiago (hence the line about hiking).

In another interview he stated that he tries to write in the same way as he thinks minus the rhymes. Overall short phrases which came to his mind.

So in concern of listening to ones heart: The lyrics suggest that the subject is not only unable to listen to its heart but rather actively ignores it due to outer circumstances. ("I don't want to hear a thing and am beating my chest like King Kong.").

Seems like there is a constant dispute between the heart and the subject. Which finally leads us to the line:

"I am fucking Yoko Ono, my heart is Paul and John."

How could a seemingly average pop singer connect a song about inner conflicts, love and self-image to John, Paul and Yoko Ono??

Well Forster said that he literally grew up with the Beatles and that they influenced him deeply. But to connect specific names to this topic, he couldn't only have been enjoying their songs. He has to know about their history and especially about their break-up. I've read a few opinions that "John" is only in there because it rhymes with "Kogong". So if he came up with that name and him being a Beatles fan, maybe the association to John Lennon isn't that far off. But why "fucking Yoko Ono"? Mark says:

"Yoko Ono is often accused of breaking up* the Beatles. And sometimes that's how I feel about my heart: Yoko Ono brings me and my heart apart." (*literally bringing apart)

?Eh?

Tbh that's hella confusing. I think he was kinda joking tho since he also states that the "fucking" is in there because of that British town. Which obviously makes no sense. Since Forster is serious about the rest of the song, its almost like he doesn't really want to talk about the true meaning of that line.

I mean the "John" could have suited only as a filler word at first. But I just don't think that other songwriters would automatically then connect that to Yoko Ono and especially Paul. Furthermore John and Paul form an unity here in the symbol of the heart. Despite the songs topic that's just such an romantic association.

Of course the average listener could easily say that this is all random nonsense. But for me who is genuinely interested in the Beatles/ Mclennon, this line doesn't seem out of context.

So if we take the lyrics of Kogong seriously, Mark Forster connects difficult romantic relationships and listening to your heart with John and Paul. Btw I know that Yoko didn't break up the Beatles, but Mark Forster is only talking about the infamous accusation of such. And even if he's only referring to the rumored breakup, wouldn't it be Beatles VS Yoko or Beatles VS John and Yoko? No, Mark Forster has to put John and Paul on one side and due to the metaphor with the heart, they together are portrayed as something pure, something romantic.

4. Conclusion

Well I can't really break the song down to every little phrase and its possible meaning. I think this post is already long enough 😅

Nevertheless "Kogong" by Mark Forster talks about conflicts with the inner-self concering love or becoming the person that you really are. All of this is quite explicitely connected to John and Paul (and Yoko) in the peak line of the chorus. (Just the way Forster sings this part is so...honest and amazing..). In my opinion, Mark Forster implies a really close (possible even romantic) connection between Paul and John while being put up against Yoko.

Shipping Mclennon or viewing their relationship as very close/romantic is often connected with horny teenagers on social media who make up crazy theories to satisfy their own desires. But here we have a man in his 30s who seemingly hints on similar ideas concerning their relationship in one of his most famous songs. And I know that this is not the first time that pop culture mentions their connection in that way but its actually the first very serious approach that I know of.

And maybe I am really reading too much into all of this. ( I mean I'm a Mclennon shipper after all lol) But in the end we still have a man who flew all the way to London just to sing-scream "I am fucking Yoko Ono, my heart is Paul and John" at Abbey Road Studios and I think that's pretty cool.

If you finished this mess till the end, thank you so much and let me know your opinion on it! ☺️🙌

(Sorry for any writing mistakes and I also have the sources of the quotes at hand, but obviously they are in German)

#mclennon #john lennon #paul mccartney