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#because i have issues. dont try me

Final year of University in the UK while going into constant lockdowns is fun

#University has been one of my biggest and best times of my life.#It's been literal years since I've felt that happy and have come out of my shell so much thanks to the experiences and people I've met.#So why#Why has it gotten to the bottom of the barrel again#Why have I relapsed after being 4 years clean#Why cant I enjoy it anymore. Why has it become a chore. Why has it become so difficult to do the bare minimum.#Something I'm so passionate about.#i thought this was over once i left high school#Two months in my final year and I'm certain I've already failed.#I dont have reason to struggle. Everyone else has health issues both mental and physical. They have it so much worse than me#They have so many restrictions and issues in this time and in their lives yet they stil try their best and do amazing work#But I can't even so much as do the bare fucking minimum#And I'm too stubborn and scared to open up about it because I know im being weak and have nothing to complain about#I have no reason to be doing badly. I have no reason to be struggling#I'm just a bad person#I'm a bad daughter#Im a bad sister#im a bad student#im a bad friend#im a bad partner#im a useless member of society#And all I can do is sit here staring at a wall for 5 hours wallowing in self-hatred instead of actually doing some fucking work#I just wanted to prove myself#I don't want to be unnoticed or forgotten#I don't want to continue doing less than the bare minimum#I just wanted to show my potential#I just wanted to make them proud#For once i just wanted to be good enough#i just want to do well
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“Quebecker students wears skirt to send a message of feminism and tolerance ” 

Source (in french)

Saying that lately I have been bummed out because of the way people talk from where I come from (and from my generation), stumbling upon this link on Facebook made me smile.

Am so proud and happy to see young men from where I come from doing stuff like that, give me some fucking hope that shit can actually change, but also that our generation will maybe change this bashing coming from other provinces one day.

“ Three days ago, a secondary school student from the province, posted a video and a picture on his Instagram account of him and his friends proudly displaying their outfits with a feminist and inclusive message: the skirt to denounce the antiquated and sexist dress code of Quebec secondary schools, as well as to underline the tolerance that should be in place towards all genders and all ways of dressing.

The dressing code is absolute bullshit and female students (or at least those seen as female students) are always the one with the most restriction, where the male one don’t have too much of a problems unless it goes a little too far. Kind of restrictions that are there since my mother’s generation (and older obviously), but people are always saying “yes well it was like that for me too” as if it was an argument for it to not change.

I hope we can see more of this in years to come, having the boys standing up with the girls against all this bullshit that have been in place for fucking decade without changing. Like, 2020 as been shit and society suck in general, but stuff like this makes me smile and gives me some hope that shit can actually change one day.

For those interested, I’ll leave a translated (by myself, since it’s an more Quebecker french in some parts it is a little harder to translate than France french) under the cut. Word already in English will be but in italic

Keep reading

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i allude to this a lot but i also want to say outright.. i am so sick of the idea that trans women share every negative experience that trans men have and the only difference between the oppression we face is transmisogyny. stop pretending that trans men experience like………..Transphobia Lite™ and actually let us talk about our own experiences. it’s not transmisogyny to say that we face specific forms of discrimination that trans women dont. obviously it’s not “transmisandry”, that’s stupid, we’re not oppressed for being men. it mostly comes down to being afab and id generally call it misogyny (i understand why that’s controversial but it’s also accurate), but saying that doesnt mean that trans women magically have it better than us in any way (they dont). im sick of having to specify in any kind of post i make about the issues trans men face that i dont think trans women have it better. it goes without saying that they dont!!!!!! i dont wanna be sent hate for just talking about my life ughh

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