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ibijau · 3 years

Note

a prompt (a/b/o, bc i like how you write it): the sunshot campaign has just ended, and nie huaisang is looking forward to a future in which he can devote himself to wooing lan xichen. the match would be a little scandalous—it’s rare for an alpha to marry in, as nie huaisang intends to—but alpha-beta pairs are perfectly normal, and lan qiren is certainly more accepting of his first nephew’s crush than of lan wangji’s. less than three weeks into peacetime, however, nie huaisang’s plans hit a massive snag: jin zixuan has presented as an omega, removing him from the jin line of succession (and nie huaisang cannot help but be a little offended by that, on da-ge’s behalf—omegas can lead just as well as anyone else! the jin succession tradition is just stupid). but that’s the way things are in the jin sect, and so madame jin is scrambling to put together a marriage to get her son out of lanling before the worst happens... and the top two candidates on her list just so happen to be lan xichen and nie huaisang himself.

hello and welcome to: I like that prompt a little too much and got carried away, so now it’s 8K long. Also on AO3

warning for some mentions of rape toward the end of the story

Nie Huaisang’s plan starts when, at the tender age of eleven, he is introduced to the boy who doesn’t yet go by the name of Lan Xichen and is about to become his brother’s closest friend. Nie Huaisang, young as he is, decides that this is his true love, and of course he must ensure Lan Huan and him have the most perfect future possible together. He learns about Gusu Lan, reads as many books as he can, educates himself in the four arts, and even makes a vague effort to somewhat improve his cultivation, all so he can be the perfect spouse for a future sect leader.

A little after turning fourteen, Lan Xichen presents as a beta. It is a small deviation from Nie Huaisang’s plan, who was firmly expecting his beloved to be an alpha, but that is no big problem. Lan Xichen is Lan Xichen, he is the most perfect person in the world. Details don’t matter too much.

Another deviation from Nie Huaisang’s plan occurs when, a few days short of his own fourteenth birthday, he presents as an alpha. That, of course, is an absolute disaster. Nie Huaisang doesn’t want to be an alpha. Qinghe Nie is full of those, and he isn’t too impressed with them. He is on the brink of a complete meltdown when he figures that if his brother can be an omega who has all the qualities of an alpha, then surely he can be an alpha living the easy going life of an omega, including marrying into another sect.

Of course Nie Mingjue isn’t very happy that Nie Huaisang refuses to behave like a proper alpha, like a proper Nie, but he can hardly make an arguments against that choice without undermining his own position, so it doesn’t matter. Nie Huaisang cheerfully goes back to planning his happy future, researching cases of an alpha marrying into another sect. There are more of those than he would have expected to find, and though it is mostly alpha marrying other alphas, Nie Huaisang now knows he can rest on a precedent to argue his case.

With all this settled, the hardest part of his plan begins: seducing Lan Xichen.

It is easy enough to be sent to the Cloud Recesses to study there. A little too easy, really. Nie Huaisang suspects that his brother wanted him to go there anyway just to have some peace, and in hopes Lan Qiren might straighten him out a bit. Nie Huaisang doesn’t mind though, since it gives him a chance to be close to the love of his life. He also doesn’t mind his dreadful grades which give him a good excuse to spend time with Lan Xichen, begging him to help. Lan Xichen, generous and kind and patient and perfect in nearly every aspect, as well as eager to be a good friend to Nie Mingjue, even by proxy, of course agrees and allows Nie Huaisang to spend far more time in his room than is probably reasonable.

It would be a little scandalous really, but when Lan Qiren once tries to raise the issue in front of his nephew, Lan Xichen just laughs gently.

“Huaisang is nothing more than a little brother to me,” he says. “How could anyone think any different?”

It is a hard blow to Nie Huaisang’s fragile teenage ego, and a new setback to his perfect plan. At the same time, he has been in the Cloud Recesses for almost half a year by now, and has already guessed that this is how Lan Xichen sees him. Two years of difference won’t mean much once they are adults and married, but right now it is a pretty big gap.

Having accepted this, Nie Huaisang changes his plan again, but not his goal. If all Lan Xichen needs from him at the moment is a less stuck up little brother than the real one, Nie Huaisang will be happy to provide. He likes making Lan Xichen laugh anyway, and it’s obvious that Lan Xichen enjoys having someone to guide and teach in a way Lan Wangji won’t allow.

He can be patient, when he needs to be.

He can also be exactly as stupid as the situation calls for. It’s easy as anything to completely fail his exams. Lan Qiren almost has a qi deviation on the spot after reading Nie Huaisang’s final test, and Nie Mingjue is furious, but he can deal with that just fine, as long as he gets to come back another year in the Cloud Recesses and make sure nobody else can seduce the love of his life before puberty fully hits and gives him his fair chance.

That second year in the Cloud Recesses proves to be a test of Nie Huaisang’s determination in ways he hadn’t expected.

In his defence, the world has many more pretty boys than he ever realised.

Lan Wangji, heinous little bitch that he is, got hit hard by puberty in the short time that Nie Huaisang went home. He’s suddenly a head taller than Nie Huaisang, and looking every bit the alpha that he is even though he’s a year younger. Nie Huaisang is devoured with envy because just two months ago, Lan Wangji was just a baby, but suddenly he is very, very handsome.

Then, there’s the other guest disciples as well. Most are pretty decent looking, but some stand out from the crowd. Jiang Cheng has a bone structure to kill for, sharp eyes, and his rare smile is as radiant as sunshine on the lingering snows of spring. And everywhere he goes, Wei Wuxian follows, tall and more graceful than any boy of fifteen has any right to be. They make a stunning pair of alphas, really, to the point that it worries Nie Huaisang when the three of them strike a friendship of sorts. First, because there’s a few times when he finds himself wondering what it’d be like to kiss one of them, which is an awful betrayal of his one true love Lan Xichen. Second, because his looks are already inadequate to begin with, so hanging out with those two only makes him look even plainer by contrast.

What Nie Huaisang needs, he decides after a few weeks, is someone less pretty than him to spend time with, so he’ll look somewhat handsome next to them. And so, after some brief consideration, his great plan changes again to adapt to this new situation.

Nie Huaisang becomes friends with Jin Zixuan.

Well, saying they’re friends might be pushing it. Instead, Nie Huaisang forcibly spends time with Jin Zixuan, when Wei Wuxian is being punished by Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng is studying, and Lan Xichen is too busy as well. It’s rather clear that Jin Zixuan isn’t very enthusiastic to have company. Quite frankly, Nie Huaisang wouldn’t have picked him as a companion either, if he’d had a choice. Jin Zixuan is haughty, has no conversation, no humour, a bad personality, and is just all around boring. He is also tragically baby faced, hasn’t even presented yet, and has nothing to recommend him except for the fact that his father is sect leader. It is practically a charity case. Indeed, when Lan Xichen hears that Nie Huaisang has been trying to become friends with Jin Zixuan, he congratulates him on it.

“I think he is a rather lonely person, isn’t he?” Lan Xichen remarks. “I’m glad you’re trying to help him. Hopefully you’ll help him relax a little.”

“Like I do with you, Xichen-gege?” Nie Huaisang boldly asks.

Lan Xichen laughs a little awkwardly, and Nie Huaisang could swear there’s a spot of colour on the older boy’s cheeks.

“I suppose I do relax when I’m with you. Are you thinking of replacing me, now that you’ve found a friend more your age?”

“Of course not,” Nie Huaisang earnestly promises. “Xichen-gege will always be the most important person for me!”

Lan Xichen smiles gently at him. “You are a good boy, and I’m sure your brother will be proud of you. I know I am.”

Hearing this, Nie Huaisang nearly faints from happiness. Just for this, it’s worth it to put up with Jin Zixuan.

But in fairness, as weeks pass, Nie Huaisang finds it a little easier to be around Jin Zixuan. The other boy mellows a bit, like a wild beast being slowly tamed. And once Wei Wuxian leaves, Jin Zixuan suddenly isn’t so prickly anymore, now that nobody is constantly taunting him and picking fights with him. He even has a sense of humour, when you know how to spot it. The first time Nie Huaisang bursts out laughing over a muttered remark Jin Zixuan made, it’s hard to say who is most surprised.

Besides, Jin Zixuan is one of the few people Nie Huaisang has met who doesn’t judge him for not striving to be a perfect alpha. Just like Lan Xichen, Jin Zixuan is surprisingly accepting of Nie Huaisang’s peculiarities.

“I prefer someone like you over some alphas who act right in public, then do everything wrong in private,” Jin Zixuan says with open disdain one day, as they walk in a garden of the Cloud Recesses.

It is a beautiful summer day, and the school year is almost over, which makes Nie Huaisang rather sad. He had planned to stay another year, still to make sure that nobody else makes a move on Lan Xichen, but he’s starting to think it will be lonely without the other friends he’s made.

“Well, I’m hardly much of an alpha in private too,” Nie Huaisang argues.

Jin Zixuan shrugs. “Not in the typical way. But you’re very protective of the people you care about, right? And you like to make people feel included. Like me and Lan gongzi… even Lan er-gongzi, when he lets you. You really don’t like when people seem lonely, do you?”

A little embarrassed to have such kind motives assigned to his actions, Nie Huaisang doesn’t reply right away. He pretends to inspect some gentians near Jin Zixuan’s feet, admiring how the deep blue of the petals contrasts rather beautifully against the gold of Jin robes.

He can’t explain that he’s always around Lan Xichen because he’s madly in love with this perfect boy, or that if he’s nice to Lan Wangji, it’s mostly just because they’re going to be in-laws someday. Above all else, he absolutely can’t tell Jin Zixuan why he decided to start spending time with him, mostly because he’s changed his mind so much since then. Jin Zixuan really isn’t boring after all, and he’s not quite so plain after all. Even if his face is still a little too round and soft for his age, there are signs here and there of what a handsome alpha he will be one day. Out of everyone he's met this year, Jin Zixuan is Nie Huaisang's favourite new friend.

“Jin-gongzi is giving me too much credit,” Nie Huaisang says at last. “I just wanted a friend less annoying than Wei-xiong, and you happened to be there.”

“Is that why you only call me gongzi, when you’re never this formal with others?” Jin Zixuan asks, sounding… not quite hurt, he has too much self control for that, but still…

Well, still a little bit hurt, actually.

“I know how your sect likes formality,” Nie Huaisang explains. “I just don’t want to disrespect you.”

“The Lan too are very formal, but you call Lan Xichen ‘gege’ all the time.”

“Oh that’s different, that’s just because he’s my da-ge’s friend!” Nie Huaisang lies. “We’re close enough the two of us, so it’s fine to call him like that.” An idea hits him, and he leans toward Jin Zixuan with a wicked grin. “If you’re so jealous though, I can call you Jin-didi. Would that work for you?”

In an instant, Jin Zixuan’s face turns a bright red and he splutters in anger. Nie Huaisang can’t help laughing at that cute reaction.

“Who says I’m jealous?” Jin Zixuan explodes. “What’s there to be jealous about?”

Nie Huaisang pokes him in the ribs, still laughing. “Jin-didi, it’s fine to have a crush on an older boy, it’s normal! I understand, I really do! Thank you, Jin-didi, for entrusting your heart to me!”

“Stop calling me that!” Jin Zixuan shouts, so mortified that he’s nearly crying.

“Jin-didi! Don’t worry, this Nie-gege doesn’t mind at all. It happens, it’s because you’re probably going to present as an alpha soon, and so you’re looking for role models around you. I am so flattered, Jin-didi. It will pass though, everyone grows out of it, don’t worry.”

Jin Zixuan’s face is so red that he looks sunburned, and the dot of cinnabar on his forehead looks almost pale compared to his face.

“You’re so stupid,” Jin Zixuan hisses, shoving Nie Huaisang to the side and stomping away. “I don’t know why I even put up with you, you’re even more annoying than Wei Wuxian!”

Nie Huaisang is too breathless from laughter to stop him from leaving. It’s for the best anyway, Jin Zixuan looked like he might pick up a fight with him for offending his dignity like this, and Nie Huaisang doesn’t feel like being punched in the face.

Still, from that day on, he makes sure to call Jin Zixuan ‘didi’ every chance he gets, just because he makes such funny faces.

Nie Huaisang passes his exams at the end of the year, because Lan Xichen told him that Nie Mingjue really doesn’t want him to be away from home this long again, not when the Wens have been acting up lately. For a second, Lan Xichen seems a little sad when Nie Huaisang promises to do his best, but it must just have been a trick of the light. When Nie Huaisang blinks, Lan Xichen’s expression is warm and polite and slightly impersonal, as always.

It’s fine anyway, Nie Huaisang figures. They’re sure to meet again soon. And when they’re married, Nie Huaisang will be able to stay in the Cloud Recesses for good, and they’ll be happy, and Nie Mingjue’s paranoia won’t ruin all his plans anymore.

It turns out that Nie Mingjue’s paranoia was, in fact, justified all along.

That’s not such a big surprise, Nie Huaisang must admit. Others tend to think his brother is stupid, but he knows better. Nie Mingjue might be a big brute, but he’s a clever one who understands politics better than anyone would suspect. He doesn’t care to play the game, but he knows the rules and he watches the moves made by others. For years and years he’s tried to warn others of the troubles he’s guessed were coming, but no one listened.

Well, they’re going to listen now, Nie Huaisang figures as he makes his way to Nightless City to serve as hostage with other disciples of Qinghe Nie. It’s kind of hard to ignore when every young master or mistress from every sect in the country is being held and re-educated by Wen Ruohan’s minions.

The whole time they’re there, Nie Huaisang tries to play it cool, like none of this affects him. He’s somewhat lucky because the Wen don’t seem to realise that he’s an alpha, and so they barely pay attention to him, while they endlessly bother Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and even poor Jin Zixuan who hasn’t even presented yet. These four get harassed daily about this and that. Their attitude is too rebellious, or too tame for proper alphas. They try too hard, or not hard enough. They’re too skilled and clever, or else they’re playing stupid and clearly trying to mock Qishan Wen.

In fairness, all of these accusations are absolutely true when it comes to Wei Wuxian. But even if he were to behave properly, Nie Huaisang suspects the Wen would find some fault with him.

Nie Huaisang watches all that and tries to stay out of it. The most he can do, anyway, is to offer the medicine he secretly brought with him (his brother insisted, and he was right as always) and to share his portion of food with his friends whenever they’re denied a meal. At least, when they accept. Jiang Cheng does sometimes, unless his pride gets in his way. Wei Wuxian usually refuses and boasts that he’s been wanting to practice inedia for a while anyway. Lan Wangji isn’t so loud about it, but does the same. Poor Jin Zixuan, though… even when he’s given his own portion of food he always seems hungry, so the days when he must do without are particularly hard on him. He still tries to refuse when Nie Huaisang wants to share, but in his case, Nie Huaisang doesn’t hesitate to insist.

“You’re going to present soon, aren’t you?” he whispers, pushing his bowl of bland, watery congee toward Jin Zixuan who nods miserably. Nie Huaisang remembers the horrible hunger he felt for a few weeks before presenting, when his body was hard at work preparing for the big changes that were coming. Even with all the food he could ask for he’d been starving, so he can’t imagine how much Jin Zixuan must be suffering. “You have to eat, Jin-didi,” he orders. “Please, eat something, or else your Nie-gege will be sad.”

It says a lot about Jin Zixuan’s state that he doesn’t even object to being called this way. Nie Huaisang lets Jin Zixuan have both of his meals that day, explaining that he actually has snacks hidden along with his medicine.

It’s not his best lie, but it does the trick that time, and the following ones as well.

After a week of this, Nie Huaisang is starting to feel a little unwell. His golden core just isn’t very strong, and cannot sustain him through inedia the way it would for others. He’s always known this, there’s just something not quite right with his meridian which means cultivation doesn’t come easy for him. Usually it doesn’t bother him, but after eating so little for several days, of course there’s side effects… but someone has to take care of Jin Zixuan, right?

It’s almost a relief when they’re told one morning that everyone is going on a Night Hunt. It’s not the first one Wen Chao took them on, and while it’s unpleasant to fight creatures without weapons, at least they’ve always been given better rations.

In the end, good rations feel like a poor trade for what happens on that Night Hunt. Nie Huaisang has never been so terrified in his life, except when he was eleven and his father lost his mind… although this is worse, so much worse. His father wounded some people, but he didn’t kill anyone the way that false Xuanwu does, slaughtering anyone it can grab before they manage a daring escape, thanks to Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian. Nie Huaisang, who is a fairly decent swimmer, ends up helping Jin Zixuan through the underwater passage, since the other boy is starting to look really unwell. He hasn’t been hurt, thankfully, but it’s clear he’s close to presenting. He must have only a few days left at best, or more likely a few hours.

Maybe that’s why even after they’re safely out of the cave, Jin Zixuan won’t let go of Nie Huaisang’s hand, why he leans so heavily against his side. Nie Huaisang allows it all. He probably should hand Jin Zixuan over to the Jin disciples present, but if they were trustworthy, Jin Zixuan would already have gone to them for comfort, wouldn’t he?

“It’s okay, Jin-didi,” Nie Huaisang tells the other boy while putting his free hand on Jin Zixuan’s forehead. He’s burning, and this is really the worst time and the worst place to be presenting, but it’s going to happen anyway. “I’m here with you. We’re going to get you home, and then you’ll be safe, right?”

Jin Zixuan nods weakly. “Thank you, Nie-gege,” he whispers, and Nie Huaisang’s heart does somersaults in his chest at being called that. It makes him want to keep Jin Zixuan close, to really protect him from anyone that might hurt him.

It’s a stupid idea, of course. Jin Zixuan is about to present, and when that’s over, when he’s an alpha, he’s never going to need anyone’s protection again. What’s happening here won’t last very long.

Nie Huaisang figures it’s fine to enjoy this while it’s there. He’s sure Lan Xichen, if he’s still alive, will understand that even an alpha as weak and pathetic as him needs to feel protective here and there.

It takes a long, long while to go home on foot. By the time Nie Huaisang and the other Nie disciples reach Qinghe, a war has been declared against the Wen because they’ve attacked the Lotus Piers and annihilated the entirety of Yunmeng Jiang. Nie Huaisang cries upon hearing this, because Jiang Cheng was fine when he last saw him, because it’s unfair that Wei Wuxian was rescued from that cave only to die like this anyway.

He cries also because Nie Mingjue is going to risk his life, because there’s still no news from Lan Xichen.

He cries because he won’t even be able to help his brother, and is to be sent to the Cloud Recesses where he’s less likely to be captured and used as a hostage again.

He cries because that’s all he’s good for, apparently.

Lan Xichen is alive.

Nie Huaisang cries when Lan Qiren tells him, and then doesn’t shed a single tear again and sets to work to be of some use in this war they’re fighting. The husband of a sect leader must be a useful person after all. Lan Xichen will have to deal with so many responsibilities, much earlier than he ever should have to, so Nie Huaisang needs to step up his game and become someone worthy of his future husband. He might be lazy, and spoiled, and a little useless, but Nie Huaisang is also very stubborn when he wants something, and what he wants is Lan Xichen, the most perfect person in the world.

Lan Xichen who smiles with the warmth of a tender spring afternoon, who is always calm and collected, who smells of gentian and pine trees. Lan Xichen who never has a hair out of place. Lan Xichen who always knows what to do, what to say, no matter the situation.

Lan Xichen who looks utterly broken when he comes to visit the Cloud Recesses, three months into the war.

Perhaps to others he doesn’t look so bad. The Lan disciples who are with Nie Huaisang when Lan Xichen arrives don’t comment on it. But Nie Huaisang has been observing Lan Xichen for years at this point, and he can instantly tell that something is wrong. It shows in the way the beta carries himself, how his eyes glance over things as if he cannot see what’s around him, the slight twitch at the corner of his lips when he smiles. Nie Huaisang’s heart aches to see his beloved in such a state. He hates the Wen more than ever, if such a thing is possible, for having hurt Lan Xichen this way.

Because there is so much to do, because Lan Xichen has so many responsibilities now, it seems at first that Nie Huaisang won’t have a moment alone with him. He tries to be fine with that. A sect leader’s husband must know that sometimes he comes second to the sect in question. But the hollowness in Lan Xichen’s eyes haunts him too much. That night, close to the hour for curfew, Nie Huaisang decides that he must offer some distraction to the love of his life, perhaps even some comfort, should Lan Xichen be inclined to allow it.

It’s risky to be out and about at that hour. Even at such a time, the Lan are strict with their rules, and Nie Huaisang knows he will be scolded, or even punished, if he is caught. To avoid that he doesn’t knock on the front door of Lan Qiren’s house, where he knows Lan Xichen is also living for the time being, and instead comes in through the back. He will be in so much trouble if he’s spotted, but love comes before rules. Soon enough he’s inside a private garden, knocking on the door of the only room where a candle still burns.

To Nie Huaisang’s relief, it is indeed Lan Xichen who opens that door for him.

To his horror, Lan Xichen looks even worse than before, his eyes red from crying.

“Huaisang, what are you doing here?” Lan Xichen asks, trying to quickly regain his composure.

“I thought I’d come see you, Xichen-gege. You looked like you might need a friend.”

Lan Xichen takes in a sharp breath, like he’s trying not to sob. He manages to keep his face impassive, but two tears still drop on his cheeks, leaving a shiny trail behind. If Nie Huaisang didn’t have such excellent manners, he would lunge forward to kiss away those tears.

“I’m not sure I’m fit for company,” Lan Xichen says in a voice that trembles a little. “I find myself in a rather emotional state at the moment.”

“Then you definitely need a friend,” Nie Huaisang replied. “I offer myself, if you’ll have me.”

A few more tears escape Lan Xichen’s reddened eyes, which he tries to wipe away quickly, like a child just starting to learn he’s not supposed to cry in public. Nie Huaisang braces himself for rejection, but Lan Xichen instead pinches the hem of his sleeve and pulls him inside.

“You’ll be in trouble if someone sees you,” he explains. “How unreasonable, Huaisang… didn’t you realise that people might talk, seeing an alpha roaming around at night?”

Of all the things Nie Huaisang has thought about before coming here, that particular detail hasn’t occurred to him. People often forget he’s an alpha, and so does he, most of the time. Outside of his ruts, he might as well be a beta, and he’s convinced people who meet him must think that’s the case. But of course the Lans know better.

“Xichen-gege, I don’t want to cause you trouble or start gossip against you,” Nie Huaisang says. “I wanted to see if I could make you smile, that’s all. If you think I should leave, just say so and I’ll stop bothering you.”

“That might be…” Lan Xichen starts, before choking on his words. “Maybe you should… This is… it is…”

More tears drop on Lan Xichen's cheeks and he gasps in an alarming fashion, trying to stop himself from breaking down into sobs. Nie Huaisang’s heart clenches painfully at the sight. He takes one of Lan Xichen’s hands in his, trying to offer him comfort. Immediately Lan Xichen starts crying in earnest, falling to his knees. Nie Huaisang follows him, sitting on the floor near him, patting his hand, his shoulder even when the sobs get too heavy.

They stay like this a long while, sitting on the floor of that bare room which doesn’t really belong to Lan Xichen and only serves as a reminder of everything that he has lost. Nie Huaisang can’t find any words of comfort to offer, because he knows how empty those would feel. All he has to give is his presence, and his patience.

It is well past curfew when Lan Xichen finally calms down enough to sit a little straighter.

“How disappointed you must be, seeing me so weak,” Lan Xichen says, quickly drying his tears with the fabric of his inner robes. “I’m not the person you think I am, in the end.”

“You are that person and more,” Nie Huaisang sincerely replies. He squeezes Lan Xichen’s hand in his, barely refraining the impulse to kiss it. Seeing Lan Xichen like this, imperfect, angry and hurt, only makes Nie Huaisang love him more. How could he not, when Lan Xichen is giving him this trust? “Xichen-gege, I like everything about you, the good and the bad. I like you when you are calm in front of everything, and I like you when you can’t be strong anymore.”

Lan Xichen sighs and tilts his head, trying to smile but not quite managing it. “Huaisang…”

“I do, I really do!” Nie Huaisang insists. “I just wish I could help you more. I wish I could give you strength when yours runs out. I wish I had the power to protect you against those who would harm you. You make me wish I could be more than I am, so I could stand at your side and be of use to you.”

Lan Xichen smiles, and brings his trembling free hand to touch the alpha’s cheek.

“And I’m glad you are exactly the way you are,” Lan Xichen says with unbearable tenderness. “You are as I want you to be, as I want to see you at my side.”

Nie Huaisang’s heart is racing at those words, and he feels his face flush.

“Xichen-gege, I don’t think you and I mean quite the same thing here.”

“I think we do. I wasn’t sure what to think of this,” Lan Xichen admits, gently cupping the side of Nie Huaisang’s head, who must resist the impulse to close his eyes and lean into that touch. “I thought you only liked the image I try to give, and that you would be disappointed when you’d learn who I really am. But you’re seeing me now, and… you still like me?”

“More than ever,” Nie Huaisang whispers.

Lan Xichen smiles at him, beautiful like dawn after a cold and dark winter night.

“Then when this is over, let’s see how we can deal with this,” Lan Xichen says. “I know there’s precedent for such situations, though it will be unconventional. I fear you’ll have to marry into Gusu Lan, if this is to happen. Could you bear with that?”

Nie Huaisang nods, laughing and crying at once, delighted beyond words to realise that Lan Xichen too has made plans. He knew they were well suited for each other, he knew it all along, and finally he’s proven right.

Finally, he’s going to be happy.

The Sunshot Campaign ends, and sooner than everyone expected. Wei Wuxian’s new techniques are to thank for that… or to blame, depending who’s talking. Not everybody is fond of what Wei Wuxian has done during the war. Still, he’s a hero, one of many. Of the young masters of great sects in their generation, only Nie Huaisang and Jin Zixuan haven’t gained a title for their glorious deeds.

In fact, when Nie Huaisang asks around, it appears that Jin Zixuan didn’t contribute at all to the war, in any way. He wasn’t among those who fought, which isn’t such a surprise when Jin Guangshan barely wanted his sect involved at all. But Jin Zixuan wasn’t on the back front either, and that’s strange. Nie Huaisang knows his friend isn't a coward like him, and must have wanted to contribute in some fashion. Jin Guanshan will have tried to stop him, but Jin Zixuan is exactly the sort of person who would run away and join another sect's troupes to do his part in fighting the Wen.

Nie Huaisang becomes truly concerned when he learns that while Jin Zixuan has been absent from the war, one of Jin Guangshan's bastards has seen his status elevated and been given a title. Jin Ziyao, Lianfang-zun, is the first out of many bastards that Jin Guangshan has ever seen fit to legitimise.

Suddenly, Nie Huaisang becomes terrified for his friend. Jin Zixuan looked so unwell that day after they escaped the cave. If his group stumbled upon the Wen, if he was wounded or worse…

Jin Zixuan is absent from the banquet held in Jinlin Tai to celebrate the end of the war. It is noticed and gossiped about, especially since Jin Guangshan brought not only Jin Ziyao, but also another of his bastards, a mere child who rumour says he might legitimise as well. Worse still, Madam Jin is somewhat polite to both of her husband's bastards, when she's been known to never even allow anyone to mention his infidelities before her.

Sick with worry, Nie Huaisang cannot eat or drink anything and quickly excuses himself from the celebration. He takes refuge on a platform that overhangs above elegant gardens, leaning over a railing to admire the sight. He hoped that being alone would give him a chance to calm down, but it only makes things worse. Jin Zixuan used to say he'd make Nie Huaisang visit the gardens of Jinlin Tai someday and show the peacocks from up close, but that might never happen now, because he might be…

Nie Huaisang bursts into tears.

He shouldn't have let Jin Zixuan go with the Jin that day, he should have kept him close and protected him, so nothing could happen to him. There is no safer place in the world than with a group of Nie, and Nie Huaisang knows even a pitiful alpha like him would have sprung into action if the situation called for it.

He knows that for Jin Zixuan's sake, he would have easily torn Wen Chao's throat with his bare teeth, if it had come to that.

Nie Huaisang is still crying when Lan Xichen finds him and silently wraps his arms around him. It helps a bit, if only because it reminds Nie Huaisang that things aren't entirely awful, that even if something happened to Jin Zixuan, he won’t have to face his grief alone. They’ve talked to Nie Mingjue who grumbled mightily against his brother leaving Qinghe Nie, but that was never an argument he could have won, not when Nie Huaisang has prepared for it half his life. Once Lan Xichen’s mourning period is over, they will be married, exactly as Nie Huaisang planned.

“What has you so upset?” Lan Xichen asks, pulling his fiancé closer, enveloping him into the long layers of his robes until Nie Huaisang feels like a chick under its brooding mother.

“I’m worried about Zixuan. Nobody has seen him since the start of the war, nobody knows anything, and he isn’t here tonight…”

Lan Xichen stiffens somewhat, and for a brief moment he loses control of himself enough that Nie Huaisang can smell him, the scent of gentians and pine lingering even after Lan Xichen returns to his usual restraint.

“You’ve become very close to him, haven’t you?” Lan Xichen asks. “I don’t think you’ve asked about anyone else as much as him during the whole campaign.”

“I got news from the others all the time,” Nie Huaisang says. “But Zixuan… and he was in a concerning state last I saw him. I just feel like I should have done more for him. What if he’s…”

“He’s not dead. Ziyao would know, and he would have told me. I’ve asked on your behalf.”

Nie Huaisang smiles, and snuggles closer to the beta.

“Thank you. But what’s the matter with him then?”

Lan Xichen shrugs slightly. “Ziyao doesn’t know,” he admits. “Nobody in Jinlin Tai seems to know, except for Jin zongzhu and Jin furen. She’s the only one who gets to see him, along with a handful of servants loyal to her. Ziyao has heard that his brother might have been cursed, or fell sick somehow, but in the end he’s not really sure.”

“Poor Zixuan, he must be so bored,” Nie Huaisang sighs. He knows his friend is used to a certain isolation, but that’s different from being truly alone. He knows also that Jin Zixuan, when given the chance, isn’t someone who enjoys being on his own anyway, and that he’s an active person who likes to practice martial arts, go on Night Hunts, or even just walk around town and check shops. This situation must be a torture for him. “Do you think they’d let me see him if I asked? Or at least write to him maybe? I’m just so worried...”

Lan Xichen tenses, his scent flaring once again. Before Nie Huaisang can ask about that, he hears approaching footsteps. Since it is highly inappropriate for them to be in such an intimate position in public, and when they’re not even formally engaged, they quickly pull apart to look at the newcomer. Nie Huaisang expected his brother, or Lan Wangji perhaps.

Instead, they find themselves in front of Madam Jin. They promptly bow to her, and exchange a worried glance. She isn’t exactly known for looking kindly at couples who misbehave in her home, and her expression can best be described as cold and angry.

“Do you really wish to see my son, Nie gongzi?” she asks, startling Nie Huaisang who can only nod in answer. “Then follow me. He’ll be glad to have a visit. Lan gongzi may come as well. This might concern him as well.”

Again, the two young men trade glances, surprised by that sudden invitation. Neither of them protests, least of all Nie Huaisang who is only too happy to follow her. Lan Xichen, after some hesitation, does the same. All three of them walk in silence in the labyrinth that is Jinlin Tai until they reach a rather isolated house guarded by two fierce looking betas who have their hands on their swords as soon as they see someone approaching, and don’t let go until they recognise Madam Jin.

“Keep an eye out,” she orders the guards as the three of them go inside. “He’s been drinking, and his rut is coming close.”

The guards nod, and firmly close the door behind Madam Jin and her guests. Nie Huaisang, initially delighted to see his friend again, starts getting worried.

“Is there something wrong with Zi… with Jin gongzi?” he asks. “Why are you locking him up this way? Is he dangerous?”

“There is danger in Jinling Tai,” Madam Jin replies, leading them ahead. She knocks on a door, using an odd rhythm. “Until a better solution can be found, this is the only way I can protect my son.”

The door opens, revealing Jin Zixuan, sword in hand. Only, there’s something off about him, something that Nie Huaisang can’t quite put his finger on. Maybe it’s his clothes, which hang a little oddly and aren’t quite the cut and fabric one would expect on an alpha. Or it is the slight fear in his eyes when he opens the door, quickly replaced by defiance when he sees who is there with his mother, as if he expects Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen to say something unpleasant. And then there’s a smell in the air, fear mixed with notes of flowers.

“Oh,” Lan Xichen says, before pinching his lips so he keeps his realisation for himself.

Jin Zixuan glares at him, then at his mother.

“I told you not to do it!” he says.

“What choice do I have?” Madam Jin replies, pushing her way into her son’s room. “This is the only way.”

After some hesitation, Nie Huaisang follows her inside. Lan Xichen does the same with a certain reluctance, and when they all sit, he does so a little closer to Nie Huaisang than is probably proper, but Nie Huaisang is too stunned by the situation to think much of it.

“I have brought you here to make a request,” Madam Jin announces, while her mortified son hides his face in his hands. “I need help in protecting my son, and after long consideration, I have come to the conclusion that the two of you are the best possible choice.”

“Mother, please, don’t!” Jin Zixuan begs, only for his mother to silence him with a gesture.

“At the start of the war, my son presented,” Madam Jin continues, ignoring the interruption. “Sadly for everyone involved, he presented as an omega.”

Nie Huaisang gasps, and stares at Jin Zixuan who looks like he might start crying. It puzzles Nie Huaisang at first, because there’s nothing bad about being an omega… or at least, not when in Qinghe Nie. Other sects have their own opinions on that, of course. He’s heard people here and there say that it is shameful and unnatural that Qinghe Nie’s leader is an omega, even one that looks and acts like an alpha, but that’s just because people are jealous of Nie Mingjue. All those petty, self-satisfied alpha just can’t stand that someone of a gender they think inferior can be so much better than they will ever be.

Of course, there’s also the fact that in most sects, only an alpha can become sect leader. Even Lan Xichen isn’t nearly as respected as he deserves to be after his brave actions during the war, and that’s not just a matter of age. Still, at least he’s a beta, and from a somewhat reasonable sect. Lanling Jin isn’t so open minded. In fact, everyone says that part of the problem between Jin Guangshan and his wife is that she’s also an alpha, when he is of the opinion that same gender couples shouldn’t be allowed to exist. He was forced into that union by his own father, everyone knows it, and only because Madam Jin's parents paid a high dowry to have her married into such a glorious sect.

"As an omega, my son cannot inherit his father's title," Madam Jin confirms. "He also wasn't allowed to take part in the war, since it would have been improper for him to be in mixed company. Alphas cannot be trusted on a battlefield… Or outside of it, as the case might be." She glances at Jin Zixuan, who looks ready to faint from sheer humiliation, then continues. "To be quite blunt, I have come to feel that Jinlin Tai is not a safe place for my son, and now that the war is over, I am seeking a way to protect him from harm."

"You want to marry him off," Lan Xichen says, his voice oddly cold in spite of his polite smile. "And I suppose you already have something in mind?"

"If I could, I would have sent him to Yunmeng Jiang," Madam Jin says. "But he has never gotten along with Jiang Wanyin, and my husband won't allow him to marry another omega as that would be improper, so Jiang Yanli is out of the question. So is Nie Mingjue, for the same reason. My husband doesn't want Zixuan to be sent to a sect too small, as he would find it humiliating. I do not want to send my son to a spouse too much older than him, as I fear for his safety. That leaves me very little choice."

Nie Huaisang frowns. He knows Jin Zixuan is more than capable of gutting even an older cultivator if they try to force him into something he doesn't want. He isn't ranked third on that list of bachelors just for his looks. Being an omega doesn't change how competent Jin Zixuan is, and Nie Huaisang has half a mind to say so.

He doesn't, but only because it suddenly hits him why Lan Xichen and him have been brought here.

"You want one of us to marry him?" he asks, while next to him Lan Xichen stiffens.

"You are the best choices," Madam Jin confirms. "My husband would probably prefer Lan zongzhu, but I personally hope you will consider this, Nie gongzi. After all, my son and you are already friends, so it would make things easier."

"Mother, stop this!" Jin Zixuan hisses between clenched teeth. "This is too… This is unnecessary."

Unsure what to think, Nie Huaisang looks up to Lan Xichen, hoping he will be the one to explain the situation. But Lan Xichen, his face pale and tight, won't look at him, or at the Jin for that matter. It falls to Nie Huaisang to handle this.

"Jin Furen, I am honoured you would think of me, and I am sure Lan zongzhu feels the same," he says. "But the fact is… Well, the truth is…"

"They're in love," Jin Zixuan hisses. "I told you it wouldn't work, mother."

Nie Huaisang looks at his friend in surprise, but Jin Zixuan refuses to look at him. More than ever, he seems ready to cry. Madam Jin, for her part, isn't impressed by this new information.

"Love is nice and well," she says, "but there are other things to consider. Your family would certainly prefer this strong political alliance."

"My brother and his uncle have already given their blessing," Nie Huaisang admits. "It's not a bad match either, politically speaking."

"But you won't have children," Madam Jin points out.

"There is a precedent for this," Lan Xichen coldly says. "Although Gusu Lan favours fidelity to one's spouse, it can be allowed to take a concubine in specific cases, such as the impossibility of having children."

"Then why not take my son as your second spouse? Or as the first one even, and have each other's company on the side? Zixuan will allow it."

Both Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen stare at Madam Jin, shocked that she would say such a thing. Her stance on her husband's affairs is well known, and she is merciless toward adulterous couples. Nie Huaisang wants to ask her why she doesn't ask for her husband's help if she's so desperate to protect her son against threats to his virtue.

He keeps that question to himself, because the answer occurs to him, and he doesn't like it.

It is well known that Jin Guangshan is an alpha of great sexual appetite even in a normal state. It is rumoured, also, that he becomes terrifying when in rut, willing to take any omega or woman who crosses his path, willing or not. People say he might have fathered Jin Zixun with his own cousin, though since the poor omega was recently married, Jin Guangshan never had to recognise the child.

Jinlin Tai is not a good place to raise an omega these days, as Jin Zixuan knows. He told Nie Huaisang as much, back when they were studying in Gusu.

And perhaps there’s more alpha in Nie Huaisang than he realised, because the idea of Jin Zixuan being in such danger, in the place where he should be safest, fills him with a rage like nothing he’s rarely felt before. The only thing that can compare is the burning wrath that overcame him when he first heard that the Cloud Recesses had been burned, that Lan Xichen was missing. If he could, Nie Huaisang would grab Jin Zixuan this instant and fly with him to QInghe, were nobody will care that he’s an omega, where he’ll live free of fear because the rules of Qinghe Nie are very clear on how to deal with a rapist, regardless of sex, gender, and rank. It is tempting to accept Madam Jin’s demand, just to protect her son, except…

Except Lan Xichen is sitting right next to Nie Huaisang, and while his face is showing nothing, the smell of his anger is getting stronger with each passing moment. If the Lan rarely have a second spouse, let alone concubines of any sorts, Lan Xichen once explained, it is because their cultivation method tends to make them more possessive toward their cultivation partner. That’s the reason they are so careful in choosing such a partner, Lan Xichen confided when they started talking about getting married.

At that time, Nie Huaisang had easily promised that he would remain faithful no matter what, happy to finally have the affection of his favourite person in the world, happy to know that his love and patience would be rewarded, confident that there is nobody else in the world he could ever want.

Now though, he isn’t so sure what to do anymore. Marrying Lan Xichen is all he’s wanted for years and years, the culmination of a carefully crafted plan to ensure both of their happiness. But to abandon Jin Zixuan to his fate would be a crime, something against which his very soul rebels.

Between his dearest friend and the love of his life, Nie Huaisang has to choose, and risk losing someone either way.

#nie huaisang #lan xichen #jin zixuan #sangxuan #xisang #mdzs #jau writes #Anonymous

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chickenmcfly1 · 3 years

Note

6, 15, 26, 33, 73 for Marty

thanks for the ask!

6. What would they give their life for?

Well first and foremost, Doc. Marty would give his life if it was needed to save Doc in a situation and he really wouldn't think twice about it. The same holds good for Jennifer and his parents and siblings. Outside of people, I think correcting his mistakes is something Marty would give his life for. Like I think if the almanac situation had required Marty to sacrifice his life for some reason to turn 1985A back to the normal 1985, I think that Marty would've easily done it on a mindset of "I made the mistake, and nobody else should feel the repercussions of my actions except me." Now I don't think Doc would ever let it come to this, but that's besides the point.

15. What is something their parents taught them?

There are many things that I can think of from a more cynical angle (like the nonpermanent nature of love and how things can go sour so quickly in relationships) but I'm going to take this from a more positive angle and say that Marty learned from his parents that deep down, under all the dysfunction, familial love is unconditional. Deep down, Lorraine still loves George because she chooses to stay with him and wants him to be better because she loves him and wants to be with a version of him that loves her too. George loves Lorraine, he just doesn't how to express it. Lorraine loves her kids and her harsh parenting, especially around to topic of relationships, is just so her kids don't get hurt in the same way she did (assuming similar stuff went down in the original 1955) and George loves his kids, clearly shown through the way he's apologetic about Biff ruining Marty's weekend plans and the way he tries to protect Marty from getting his feeling hurt (even if he does it by just telling Marty to not try, but it does come from a place of love). This whole family loves each other even though they all suck at expressing it and I think that once Marty is a few years out from that toxic situation, he will realize that the reason all of them were so miserable because of their family life was just because they all wanted better for each other because there was so much love between them. (now PSA, this is just a movie and in real life we shouldn't excuse toxicity bc it's rooted in love. Just thought I needed to follow my statement up with this)

26. Are they aware of their flaws?

Post BTTF III, very much so. In fact, after the trilogy I see Marty being so hyperaware of all of his flaws and shortcomings because he's seen just how one mistake can send someone's whole life down the tubes. So I think after the trilogy, Marty is extremely aware of all his flaws and takes every mistake he makes in any situation (on a school test, in an audition, or just a general life screw up) extremely seriously. I do think he would take being self aware a bit too far, though, and It would cause him a lot of anxiety, but once again, as he grows out, it would probably shift to a healthier balance where Marty is aware that he has to make good decisions and he can't just go wherever his emotions take him, but he doesn't beat himself up over failures and understands that it's okay to not be perfect all the time.

33. What is their biggest fear? How would they react to having to face it?

I think that Marty's biggest fear before time travel was failure. He hates being called chicken, he hates being criticized (he dislikes his mom and Strickland for doing so), he hates messing up and doesn't want to remain in a situation where he might fail (the audition and demo tape), so I guess his initial fear is more not being good enough. So I'd say before the trilogy, his biggest fear is not being enough. After the trilogy, I think it would be his loved ones dying. He's seen it happen one too many times and everyone is afraid of their parents or best friends dying, but having that become a reality so many times has probably made Marty quite paranoid about it. I think post trilogy Marty would face his fear of not being god enough by reminding himself that if he puts his mind to it, he can accomplish anything and by knowing that there is always room to grow and that being better is in his own hands. He would also face it by reminding himself that he doesn't need other people's validation and their opinions of him don't matter. As to his fear of losing his loved ones, I think if it happened, Marty would go to any length to reverse it and fix whatever went wrong. If he couldn't, I think Marty would break down and somehow blame himself, pushing himself to a very dark mental place for quite some time, but through the natural process that is managing grief, he would eventually pull himself together and focus on honoring that person's memory.

73. Outdoors or Indoors?

I imagine someone as energetic and easily distracted as Marty would feel stifled if they were forced to be indoors for a long time, so outdoors for Marty. I imagine he likes to skateboard around, just listening to music and feeling the wind when he wants to think, and I bet he likes exploring too. But if it's cold outside, Marty does prefer being indoors, padded with many layers and snuggled up with someone by a fire

hope you like the responses!

#marty mcfly #bttf #back to the future #doc brown #doc and marty

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kakakakashi · 4 years

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hiii! could you possibly write some hcs for adopting a child? i don’t really care for which characters bc i love them all tbh but my favorites are kakashi, tsunade, and naruto himself! i see a lot of pregnancy type hcs and as much as i love a good breeding kink pregnancy is not for me. obviously it’s up to you if you’re comfortable writing this though!

Omg, this is so sweet? I’ll gladly write these, especially because I personally don’t want children, and I also love a good breeding kink, so I totally get where you’re coming from there. Adoption is something that I wish Naruto would explore more because I think there’s so much potential there. I know, I personally headcanon that the only reason Iruka didn’t adopt Naruto was because he asked Hiruzen, and Hiruzen forbid him from adopting Nart. Also, half of the village is orphans, so wtf is up with that? And like everyone just ignores them? Like… how do you just do that? Anyway, let’s get into this.

Kakashi

Kakashi is terrified of having kids.

I’m sorry, but you don’t go what he goes through without developing a fear that you’re gonna pass all that shit down if you happen to have a baby.

He also believes he’d be a completely incompetent dad who his kid would resent.

He also doesn’t want his kid to go through what he went through when he lost his dad.

Not to mention, he never knew how to be a kid, so he knows he’d never be able to relate to children.

Tbh, he’s really just a mess, and he doesn’t want that to have any negative impact on any child ever, so he distances himself from them.

Why else do you think he makes kids do the bell test?

They’ve got like… a 0.01% chance of passing.

And the only reason he ended up with Squad 7 was because Hiruzen basically volunteered him to be their leader without asking him.

*John Mulaney voice* “This might as well happen”

Anyway, when you bring up kids, the man astral projects the fuck out of there.

Like, sure, a roll in the hay where he talks dirty about getting you pregnant is one thing, but you’ve talked about that, and you both know that him actually getting you pregnant is out of the question for both of you.

Even when you bring up adoption, he’s just dissociating.

Until you suggest an older kid.

And he snaps back, thinking to himself “Oh… that doesn’t sound so bad…”

He’s had a bit of a trial run with Team 7, and he’s aware of the mistakes he’s made.

He knows what he’d do with his own kid, and the concept of his own kid sounds nice to him.

He wouldn’t only have to be the disciplinarian. He wouldn’t have to worry about bringing the kid on missions. He could just… be a dad who could chill with his kid and play with the dogs while you lounge under a tree…

And suddenly, the idea of kids doesn’t scare him anymore. It almost makes him excited?

So, he asks if you can talk about it more for the next few years.

And you just smile and nod.

Tsunade

You bring it up after Kakashi replaces her as Hokage.

You guys have been through so much, and you both kind of just want a break from the action, passing the torch to the next generation.

And you’ve both been thinking about adoption separately, especially Tsunade after growing so close to Naruto.

You’re talking one day about how you want your new quiet life to be, and you’re talking about kids.

“I know we’ve never discussed the details of us having children… but what about adoption?”

“You were thinking about it too?”

You two just smile at each other for a bit before Tsunade hugs you tight, and you just cling to her, peppering kisses along the side of her face.

You guys decide to adopt a youngin because you’re mostly retired, so you have all the time in the world to give to a small child with more needs.

Lil baby Senju is literally your life now.

You’re the “LET ME SHOW YOU 5,000 PHOTOS OF MY KID THAT I KEEP IN MY WALLET! I HAVE MORE IN THE CAR HOLD ON!” couple.

Tsunade came from a big family, and she’s secretly always wanted a family, but it never seemed to be in the cards for her, and it always left her feeling empty.

So, when she’s got you and baby Senju, she’s on cloud 9.

And after you start falling into routine, she’s the one to suggest “Let’s have another.”

You guys adopt another youngin because, again, you’ve got the time whereas some people don’t.

There’s at least one girl. I just feel like she wants to raise a strong little girl to help make positive change in the world.

And when you come home one night to find the three of them asleep on the couch with a book on Tsunade’s lap, your heart just… bursts with happiness. Like, this is your life? How lucky are you?

You guys are just a cute and sweet little family.

Naruto

The fact that he doesn’t adopt in Boruto is bullshit tbh.

Sorry.

He literally went through so much as a child because he was an orphan, and having Iruka in his life changed him so much.

He wants to be someone’s Iruka-sensei.

He also doesn’t want any child to experience the pain he went through, and after knowing Gaara, he doesn’t want any kid to feel like him either.

I like to think Naruto really stepped up care for orphans when he became Hokage.

He established nice orphanages, and always stopped by to see the kids with you.

And there’s this one kid who’s just as hyperactive and goofy as he was at that age.

And he and Naruto just click.

One day, you and he are walking home, and you notice how Naruto’s demeanor gets more glum the farther away from the orphanage they get.

“Naruto…” He looks at you, your words breaking him from his trance. “I know we’ve talked about kids before… and you seem so happy whenever we go visit the children… I know you have a special bond with (*insert kid’s name here*)… and I was just thinking… maybe it’s time to add on to our little fam–”

Naruto’s already picking you up and spinning you around.

“Yes! Yes! Yes, Y/N! Thank you! That sounds perfect! We’ve gotta go tell Iruka-sensei! Come on!”

He immediately drags you towards Iruka’s apartment.

And Iruka’s so happy and proud.

He’ll cry when Naruto tells him “I want to be someone’s Iruka-sensei and give them a family, lik you gave me.”

And you adopt the kid, and you bring your kid back to the orphanage all the time to play with his friends, and you all have family dinners together and you’re all basically a little family who stay connected even after the children get adopted and new kids come into the family.

It’s just a really lovely little family with him and you and all your unofficially adopted children and your one officially adopted kid.

And, he’s not a deadbeat dad like in Boruto because HOW the fuck is that NOT completely ooc of Naruto? Just… HOW?!?!

#naruto imagines #kakashi x reader #tsunade x reader #naruto x reader #cherry has ideas sometimes #Anonymous #cherry posts about ninja nerds #100

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companionship · 3 years

Text

okay one big post to get the finale out of my system! it's been lovely reading all of your analyses and reactions, and looking at all your amazing gifs and edits :')

fair warning: this is going to be so stinking long omfg

the things i enjoyed:

vincenzo remaining an anti-hero through and through, especially the fact that he didn't hold back at all when it came to myunghee and hanseok's death. he gave them a taste of their own medicine and then some forreal, their deaths were brutal but oddly satisfying, and i'm saying this as someone who usually hates violence/gore. throughout the show, they've always hinted at what he was Truly Capable Of and boy did we get to see it

vincenzo fumbling in hanseok's house and not being his usual self – a lot of people thought it was ooc, which i understand! i felt like that was the Point, to show that for once, he's not the invincible mafia consigliere that everyone thinks he is. what he did to the man who killed his mother and the army of security guards was a reaction, but this is the first time he's flustered, caught at a disadvantage, and faced with the very real possibility that he might lose somebody incredibly important to him. idk it made him more human to me

vincenzo literally not hesitating for even 0.1 seconds to fold his entire body around hers when he thought hanseok was going to shoot again – yeah that whole bit made my heart clench i feel like a crazy person i won't get over it

the chayenzo hospital scene... my god it was so tender my heart broke. the laugh they both shared, out of sheer relief that she's okay. the little joke about paying for the private room. the way not much was being said, but everything was being said at once. the way they looked at each other, as if it wouldnt ever be enough :( the quiet acceptance that this is their last night together, and that he's going to have to kill a bunch of people after this, but for now they have this. for however brief.

chayoung being chayoung – her big ass personality at the courtroom at the end after winning ms oh's case. her hopping around in those heels, looking elegant and sleek, mocking the hell out of rich conglomorates. she's in her element again and it made me so, so happy to see. i absolutely adore her, she's everything really. after all that loss and the whole ordeal, i'm glad she's able to return to what she does best: putting capitalists back in their place

mr lee being Very Much Not Dead – idk how i wouldve been able to handle it after witnessing hanseo's death like im glad he got the chance to be a dad

the kiss – my god....

the things i didn't like:

hanseo's death – lmao is it even a surprise... say what you will about his death being foreshadowed, but i really just hated hated it. i hate that hanseok won this one. i hate that hanseo worked so hard to redeem himself, only to lose it all. i hate that he was given a taste of what a real family was like, and then having it taken away so cruelly. even though i said above that i didn't mind that vincenzo was ooc at the mansion, i was still screaming at the screen because there were plenty of opportunities for the situation to be reversed. i don't necessarily blame vincenzo for hanseo's death, but i do wish that they had a funeral scene for him. i wish they acknowledged his sacrifice, and how pivotal he was in turning the tables. if not for hanseo, vincenzo really couldn't have pulled any of this off, from the interpol tipoff to the tracking device in the watch. idc idc hanseo is in malta rn, enjoying the sun and the beach, going to therapy, and teaching the local kids how to play hockey even though there's no ice :(

chayoung being bedridden the whole finale – like... NAH lmao this aint it chief... if things went my way, she wouldve gotten out of the hospital depite her injury and dealt with myunghee before handing her off to vincenzo. i loved their animosity for each other, and i wanted chayoung to be the one at myunghee's apartment waiting for her, rubbing it into her face. i wanted chayoung to verbally finish myunghee with that sharp ass tongue of hers and really dump a load of salt on her wounds. then vincenzo could do whatever the hell he wanted. you could argue that the show is called Vincenzo but i really dont care lmao it started with chayoung avenging her dad and she should've been able to strike the final blow. also what was her big second party? are we really just going to ignore her capacity for evil? after all that moral work done, after that time she spent coming to terms with using evil to combat evil, we're just going to... keep her bedridden? park jaebum u will pay for this

vincenzo losing his family – besides hanseo's death, i think this was what i hated the most from the ending. the start of the show showed us vincenzo's departure from the mafia with the very clear intention of Not Returning. the capo died, his loyalties lie with no one, paolo can suck it. throughout the show, we see him repeat over and over that he wants to get the gold and skip off to malta to enjoy a peaceful life there, while reflecting/repenting for the things he's done. vincenzo was gearing up for a lifetime of solitude. the whole point of the show was for him to find a real family and have a real chance at happiness. park jaebum really said FUCK THAT! we're gonna have him ditch the family that he built from scratch with the love of his life and then make him return to the family that tried to kill him AND make him the capo... pjb said we're gonna separate vincenzo from the family that accepts his past and sees it as a strength and not a weakness. the family that was formed out of solidarity, the family that he fought for and fought alongside with blood, sweat and tears. not to mention the goddaughter of his? sorry i would laugh if it didn't actually rile me up so bad

vincenzo not being able to come back to korea – i've said this in another post of mine, but given that he is The Vincenzo Cassano with all those resources at his disposal (guillotine file, mr ahn/mr cho/the chief etc.), the fact that he isnt even able to stay in korea for 30 fuckin minutes after finishing hanseok was ridiculous. the whole police chase was dumb as hell considering that the show has managed to stop politicians and mf presidential candidates from going after him like ? huh LMAO park jaebum had an on-demand pigeon army in this show and Yet he can't stop like 10 suddenly-righteous policemen. another big ass HUH

chayenzo (here we go...):

NOPE! i've reflected on the ending and decided that i'm going to be petty and salty for a while more before coming to terms with it

i can rationalise and try to be positive and tell myself that their love is enduring can transcend space and time and that in due time, they will find their way back to each other, and i have no doubt that they will because they're one soul in two bodies. it's quite literally canon that they're soulmates.

but let me wallow for a second

here we have two people who have done questionable and terrible things in their past coming together, growing together, grieving together, fighting together... you get the gist of it. you have two people who have found a home in each other. two people who, for all intents and purposes, were about to live in a whole lot of bitterness and solitude if not for each other and the life they built together (chayoung didn't have friends like that, and her family is gone too). to separate them like that at the very end is cruel. i know chayoung and vincenzo are mature and incredible and will be able to function without the other next to them. i know that they will still excel as lawyers and will defeat evil with their underhand methods the way they do so well but my god are they going to feel the absence and miss each other

my point is that they shouldn't have to. from what i could tell, they can't even communicate on a regular basis bc he'll be tracked and whatnot, hence the postcards. a postcard every month is a poor substitute for all those nights they stayed up drinking makgeolli and celebrating their wins. its a shitty replacement for coffee dates and fist bumps and all the moments in between. after everything they've been through, after literally fighting to death for their family, they don't deserve this. they don't deserve to meet up once a year for a couple of hours. they don't deserve pockets of time in malta or korea, their life in a perpetual countdown to when they're going to see each other next

they both deserve love and some semblance of peace (finally finally). they both deserve to have someone to come home to after a hard day of work, because doing what they do cannot be easy. they both deserve a family, deserve to have someone next to them that accepts their past and would embrace their future. they both deserve a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on. i know they will still be It for each other despite the distance, i just wish the distance didn't even exist in the first place bc its stupid and cruel and their love shouldnt have to be proven or tested with time and space. let them stay together. let them grow together. let them be.

side note: song joongki and jeon yeobeen need another project together idc take it up with god

tl;dr: park jaebum u will be paying for my therapy bills

#vincenzo #tvn vincenzo #this was cathartic #if u made it to the end here's ur kiss #this is more for archival purposes than anything #also this is what happens when my best friends arent caught up yet and i have no outlet

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beanst0ck · 4 years

Note

heyyy, it's me again :) so,, since the requests are open, can i have how noya, tsukki & kageyama (my fav karasuno bois) helping their s/o who's struggling with school and stuff. like they go to her house and shes crying, and when he asks why is she crying she says "idk" bc basically, that's happening to me now, and I need some fluff to have serotonin 😔😔💕 love u!!

school can b like that sometimes 😔

i don’t usually struggle with schoolwork but when i do it’s >:(

Yuu Nishinoya

it’s a normal day. not too cloudy, not to sunny, perfect for a date!

nishinoya thinks back to you, noticing that you seemed a little distracted at school today

he asked you multiple times what was wrong but you always responded with “oh no im fine!“ so he assumed you were just having a bad day :((

so to try and make you feel better, he decides to text you!

short king💕: HEy! be ready in 15 mins!! we’re going out to eat >:))

he found it kind of odd you didn’t see his message, but maybe you were just taking a nap or doing hw!

cut to him rushing over to your house bc our bby is excited!! it’s been awhile since he’s taken you somewhere so now that he has the chance to he’s pumped up!

he calls you multiple times on his phone ready to tell you he’s outside, but you don’t answer

now our bby boy is confused. he’s like?? where are you?? i just wanna go out and eat??

he looks around your house and notices your window is open

somehow, he manages to reach your window and sees you hunched over your table looking at something

he sees that your phone is on your bed charging, so now he understands why you wouldn’t answer!

“(y/nnn)!! let’s go out to eat!“

you turn around so fast

like “wHO ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO GET INTO MY ROOM??- oh hi noya“

he immediately freezes once he notices your eyes are red and puffy

better believe he’s going to rush over to you and ask what’s wrong, what made you upset, etc.

you have to wait awhile before he calms down so you could explain what was wrong

“today we had a test and i didn’t get the score i thought i’d get... i thought i’d at least get a passing grade but guess not, so im trying to study for the makeup test so i could do better this time :((“

he has a moment of realization and you swear you could literally see a lightbulb go off above his head

he finally understands why you were so upset earlier!!

now that he understands why you were sad he’s gonna do everything in his power to make you feel better

“how long have you been studying for?“

“since i got home..“

“(y/n) that was 3 hours ago...”

finds out you haven’t even taken a break and he’s about to throw hands

he cares about you a lot and wants you to take better care of yourself!!

he saw how hard you were working on trying to get a better grade and knew you needed a break, so now he’s definitely taking you out on that date as a reward for your hard work

“alright, you’re taking a break now! too much studying will break your head!!“

practically drags you out your front door. he didn’t even give you a chance to get ready, y’all left exactly how you were

he takes you out to buy your favorite food because even if you didn’t pass, you tried your best and that’s what matters

he would try his best to study with you, but we all know he isn’t the smartest when it comes to academics,,,

will give you lots and lots of kithes when he sees you finally got the score you wanted as a reward for your hard work :))

Kei Tsukishima

during school tsukki noticed that you were acting a little odd. normally you’re the one to initiate conversations with him, but today you were just quiet

immediately knew something was up, but didn’t say anything because maybe he was looking into things too much

time skip to lunch and tsukishima is looking for you, because he wants to eat his lunch with you!!

imagine his surprise when he sees you studying?

he’s like “what are you doing, are you trying to be a nerd now?“

you jump because you weren’t expecting him to find you so fast??

your plan was to study a bit before you ate your lunch with tsukishima but obviously that wasn’t going to happen today

tsukishima finds it kind of weird that you were studying during school hours because you never do that? but once again he stays quiet because hey maybe you just want to improve your grades or something

the day passes by normally for the both of you, but tsukishima still can’t shake the feeling that something is up with you

so after practice he decides to head over to your place

he parts ways with yamaguchi and begins heading over to your house to see you

he’s lowkey a little excited because he doesn’t come over to visit you much so he had lil butterflies in his stomach

your parents open the door and when they see him they immediately greet him happily and let him in

i headcannon that parents just love tsukishima idk why

tsukishima doesn’t even knock, he just opens the door to your room

when he sees you crying he just stares, extremely confused

when you notice someone’s entered your room you look up and through all the tears you see your boyfriend standing in your doorway, confused af

you quickly wipe the tears from your face, already knowing that hiding your face from him would not work because he definitely just saw you crying

you try and play it off tho

“ah! tsukki! what’re you doing here ahahha-“

he slowly walks over to you and sees your notebook fills with notes along with other worksheets filled with information

he closes your books and pushes away all the loose papers on your desk

right as you’re about to ask him why’d he do that for he immediately hugged you

it was kind of an awkwardly positioned hug tho? you were sitting down on a chair and he was standing so your face was against his stomach

he asks you if you were crying because of school work but did he really need to ask?? he already knew the answer-

he suddenly becomes sweet towards you? like he still teases you but not as much because he knows you’re sad rn :((

offers to tutor you if you really need to help, he’ll use it as an excuse to spend more time with you!

if you get a problem right your reward is his kithes

if his teammates see him tutoring you they’re gonna be like “awe“ because he barely agreed to tutor hinata and kageyama and he couldn’t stand them

they’ll clown him a little bit

speaking of them they’re probably gonna complain about it

“tsukishima you’re so mean! why does (y/n) get tutoring and not us :((“

insert sugamama smacking hinata for his comment

you get girlfriend privileges bc tsukishima is vv soft for you :))

Tobio Kageyama

im sorry but our dumb dumb kageyama probably wouldn’t notice how sad you seemed

hinata probably said something along the lines of “hey did you have a fight with (y/n)? she seems sad :((“

it’s not that he doesn’t care!! trust me he really does he’s just mostly focused on volleyball and doesn’t know how you feel unless you tell him

after hinata says that he starts to focus on you more, trying to see if what hinata said was true

if you DO seem sad, he’s gonna panic because he doesn’t know what to do

if you DONT seem sad bc you’re good at hiding your emotions, then he’s gonna call hinata ‘ bOkE!1!!1 ‘ because how dare he assume something about his gf

regardless of those things tho, he’s gonna start paying attention to you in general. he’s gonna try his best to understand your emotions because he doesn’t wanna upset you more!!

you’re most likely gonna feel his stares him a mile away. ppl are gonna think he hates you but in reality,, he’s just trying to understand your mood

one day while at school he noticed that you didn’t come. took him awhile to realize,, it was actually one of his teammates that said “where’s (y/n)? they aren’t with you?“ and he went into a mini panic mode because they’re right where’d you go?

realized that you weren’t at school and texted you

poor babey seemed lost without you because he spends most of his time with you

emo blueberry💙: you’re not at school? do you feel ok?

when you see his text you start to feel better because you know that he loves you and he’s worried bc you’re not there with him

kageyama begins to look back on his days spent with you

generally you seemed happy with him but there were times where you’d let your smile slip just a little

idk why but i headcannon that when it comes to relationships he’s vv inexperienced and doesn’t know what to do

as much as he’d hate to admit, he asked hinata it if he noticed anything off about you

when hinata tells him that you seemed distracted during breaks kageyama begins to do his journey on trying to find out what’s wrong

he asks his upperclassmen for advice and he actually uses what they say

after class he takes it upon himself to go to all of your classes to pick up any homework you might’ve missed

during practice you’re all he can think about which causes his sets to be a little off

daichi, being the kind dad he is, let’s kageyama leave early to go see you

kageyama enters your home and heads to your room. as he’s about to knock he hears sniffles clearly coming from you and he goes into panic mode

quickly opens your door and you two kind of just stare at each other awkwardly like,,

“uh, hi?“

he doesn’t understand how you could be so chill?? like you’re literally crying yet you’re acting as if you’re not

immediately asks if you’re alright, why you’re crying, etc.

once you tell him it’s because you don’t understand your schoolwork, he nods. he understands how you feel because he himself isn’t as good

he’ll tell you how it doesn’t matter if you don’t understand the material as fast as others because everyone learns at their own pace

he’ll slowly initiate a hug? it might be a little awkward because he doesn’t seem like he knows what he’s doing he really doesn’t but he hopes that it makes you feel better :((

he’ll drag you away from your studies for a bit if you haven’t taken a break and he’ll just cuddle you

AGAIN!! it might be a little awkward but pls he’s trying his best ok :((

if you end up falling asleep he’ll give you a little kith on your forehead :))

haikyuu mlist

requests open

#hq kageyama #hq nishinoya #hq tsukishima #hq tsukki #haikyuu nishinoya #haikyuu kageyama #haikyuu tsukishima #nishinoya yuu #tsukishima kei #kageyama tobio #nishinoya x reader #tsukishima x reader #kageyama x reader #tsukishima is soft for the reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#bean writes

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livelongdolan · 4 years

Text

Teacher’s Pet (G.D. & A.D.)

Summary: When you encounter a new teacher your freshman year of college, Grayson gets a bit jealous but there’s another feeling brewing inside of you. *This is a fanfic including Grayson Dolan and Adam Driver*

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: threesome smut, spanking, choking, just everything honestly lmao

A/N: i sent morgan an ask and i could NOT get it out of my head so this is what happened (btw this is dedicated to her bc she’s my fellow adam driver lover @vinylhazza hehe ily, also to my best friend Joie bc she helped me with the storyline uwu ily)

Tags: @vinylhazza (idek anyone else who would like this but lmk if u wanna be tagged!)

You had always had friends that were older than you, so when you got into college you already knew about one of the professors you’d end up having freshman year. You were majoring in anthropology and the one in charge of the class for the first year was Professor Driver. Your friends had snuck pictures of him in class, talking about how attractive he was constantly but also how incredibly strict he was. You never really understood their infatuation until you walked into his class for the first time. The way that his nose curved, along with his jet black hair and hazel eyes had you hooked, not to mention how broad his shoulders and torso were. Friends of yours knew that you had changed your mind about him but what you didn’t know was that your best friend and soon to be boyfriend Grayson had noticed too. He sat next to you in the same class and watched the way you practically drooled over the tall man dressed nicely in a casual suit. But it also didn’t help that you constantly talked with him after class about how handsome the older man was.

“Gray I’m serious I think he’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” The two of you are walking side by side after leaving the class and you can’t get your mind off Professor Driver.

“Really? You see me every day Y/N” He smiles, half joking. You playfully hit his shoulder and just laugh at his comment.

“Oh my gosh don’t even get me started on his body. His shoulders? Crafted by the gods Grayson I’m not even kidding. He’s just so…” you pause for a moment, trying to think of the perfect word to describe him “...big. Like massive. He could throw me around like a rag doll.” At your comments Grayson pretends to throw up, slight jealousy brewing in his stomach but he’s not letting it show just yet.

“Y/N he’s our professor, you're gross.” He laughs but there’s slight meaning behind his words. You decide to ignore it and the conversation topic changes after a few more laughs from you.

The next day the two of you walk into class, going through the classwork as you steal glances at the man at the front of the class. You make eye contact a couple times but look away quickly at each occurrence. After receiving your essay tests back from the week before you noticed that you had many more comments on yours than anyone else had, scrawled in purple ink. You showed your paper to Grayson and he gave you a look of surprise.

“Maybe he has a crush on you.” Grayson jokes. You shove his arm away and laugh, not realizing how loud you’re being.

“Miss Y/L/N. Care to share what you’re laughing about with the class?” Professor Driver’s voice carries loud across the classroom, booming off the walls into your ears. You instantly feel your face heat up at his comment.

“No Professor Driver sorry.” You mumble just loud enough for him to hear.

“Then I suggest you don’t laugh in my classroom. Keep it outside.” He speaks in a stern voice, sparking slight excitement mixed with fear inside of you.

You simply nod in reply and smile at Grayson, making sure to stay quiet the rest of the class so as to not get in trouble again. After the lecture is over, you let Grayson know that you are going to stay behind to talk to Professor Driver. Although it isn’t his official office hours, you know he has time before the next class ends so he stays in the same room. You decide to take this opportunity to apologize sincerely for being loud in class as well as ask him about the notes left on presumably only your test. Walking towards his desk, you grip your essay in your hand and approach his desk where he is sat grading.

“Professor Driver?” You ask, trying to get his attention.

“Yes, Miss Y/L/N?” He responds, still keeping his eyes focused on the grading at hand.

“I just wanted to let you know that I am truly sorry for what happened in class today. I’m just good friends with Grayson and we got carried away and I laughed too loud I promise it’ll never happen again I just-”

“Stop. It’s okay. Just as long as you don’t do it again we won’t have any problems.” He interrupts. “Now is that all?”

“Um no,” you pause for a moment, gathering your thoughts, “I actually wanted to also ask about my essay.”

Before you can get any further he interrupts you again.

“You know the rules. Talking about assignments is for office hours, not for time when I am working on your other assignments. You know where the clipboard is so sign up for a time and I’ll get to you.” The entire time he is still focused on the papers in front of him where you notice that there are no comments on anyone’s assignments, furthering your confusion.

“But-” You try to speak before you are interrupted for the third time.

“Y/N.” He says your name in such an intense manner that butterflies start up in your stomach. “I told you what to do. Follow the rules.”

Feeling intimidated, you simply nod your head and make your way out of the classroom.

About a week passes by before there is an opening in office hours. Since the professor is so strict about everything and grades so harshly, everyone is trying to salvage their grades. A couple days before you are supposed to meet, Grayson tells you that he needs to talk to you after school and that it’s very important. You meet him outside the library, where you usually meet, and start walking around campus before stopping in front of a small group of benches where people typically eat their lunch or study.

“Listen, Y/N, I need to tell you something. It’s been weighing on my chest for a while and even if it doesn’t turn out to be good I just need to get it all out.” He explains. You simply nod your head in response, allowing him to continue.

“I like you. More than a friend. I like you and I want us to be together if you feel the same way.” The words spill from his mouth quickly as if he’s scared of saying them.

“You like me?” You say in disbelief, not fully believing it since you’ve never seen him in that way before. He simply nods, shying away from saying anything more. “Why me? Like we’ve been best friends forever what changed your mind?”

“Well to be honest with you, when I heard you talking about our professor I got this really jealous feeling in my stomach and it wouldn’t go away so I just went home and thought about it for a bit and realized that I like you I guess.” He lets out a slightly awkward laugh. “And why shouldn’t someone like you? You’re beautiful, smart, and I don’t know I guess I just found something in you that I never noticed before when you talked about him. Sooo…”

“I’m honestly not sure how I feel about you Gray, but I wanna explore this. I think it could work if I just figure out my emotions. So how about we just spend some time talking and stuff before becoming official?” You question, hoping he says yes because you honestly felt guilty about being so attracted to your shared professor still.

“Yes of course Y/N. No rush at all.” His smile is as bright as the sun at the news and the two of you continue your walk, the casual banter usually shared between the two of you having a new feel to it after his confession.

The next couple days before your meeting with Professor Driver, you and Grayson spend almost all of your time together and you are definitely getting feelings for him. With each brush of your hands together or an accidental bump into the other, you feel your attraction growing to be as strong as his yet still not enough to be official yet. You had never noticed how attractive he was before all of this had happened though. Of course you had always known he was a handsome guy simply because his features were nicely arranged but you found yourself just wanting to look at him a lot of the time. A couple times he caught you, laughing and grabbing your hand to intertwine it with his as you continued whatever you had been doing. You were definitely in it now. But what about Professor Driver?

It was finally the day of your meeting with Professor Driver and you regretted wearing the skirt that Grayson had wanted you to wear for him, simply because you knew how clumsy you were and didn’t want to accidentally flash your teacher. Although in your mind deep down you knew it wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen.

After classes were over for the day, you instructed Grayson to wait at the bench right outside of the building so that you could get in and get out fast, returning directly to him. You made your way into the lobby, continuing down into the familiar classroom. Professor Driver was sitting at his desk on his computer, presumably putting in grades or something else having to do with all the grading he’s been doing lately.

You knock slightly on the door and he motions to come in. You walk in and sit across from him in a plush chair with wooden arms, immediately putting your essay on the desk in front of you.

“So I was just wondering about my essay test because I noticed that, at least from those around me, I am the only one with extra comments added. I got a good grade and the comments are positive so I was just wondering why mine has comments and others who did just as good do not.” You speak concisely as to make sure things are fast, not wanting to spend any more time around the temptation that is your professor longer than you have to.

“Well, I saw that you have potential. The students I believe have potential, I actually put extra work into and make sure I add what they have done right and wrong to improve them as students and people. You just happen to be the only one with potential in this class therefore you are the only one with extra comments. Your essay was the only one to fully address each thing I instructed you all to address and with the work you do in class I see that although you do spend some time messing around with Mr. Dolan, you get your work done and you always hit the nail on the head.” As he speaks he almost unnoticeably glances down at your chest, where your cleavage was showing due to the low v-neck of your shirt. You take notice but leave the looks to your imagination, a red blush covering your face and moving down your neck at his compliments.

“Thank you so much Professor Driver. I really appreciate your kind words.” You smile sweetly at him.

“It’s no problem Y/N” he uses your first name once again making butterflies arise in your stomach. “Good girls deserve praise.” He is barely speaking above a whisper but you still hear him, the words instantly affecting you. You clench your thighs slightly to keep your arousal at bay.

“What was that Professor?” You pretend as if you didn’t hear him, hoping it was just your mind playing tricks on you.

He looks you up and down before gazing directly into your eyes.

“I think you know what I said. I can tell by the way you’re clenching your thighs together Y/N.” It hadn’t registered that he was tall enough to see clearly over the desk. You immediately move your legs apart quickly, accidentally giving him a peek of the pink lace panties you were wearing.

“I-i’m sorry Professor I didn’t mean anything by it I’m kind of seeing someone I just-” Before you can finish your sentence, Grayson is walking up to you. You hadn’t realized that he’d come inside to check on you and heard what just happened.

“Yeah you’re damn right you’re seeing someone. Me. So why are you” He looks pointedly at the large man sitting in the chair across from you “saying things like that to her? Doesn’t seem very professional of you to say, does it?”

The professor is taken aback by Grayson’s words but simply looks up from his sitting position.

“You’re simply too young to know what she wants. You can’t pleasure a woman without experience.” The words fall freely from his mouth as if he hasn’t a care in the world and he returns to grading the papers in front of him.

Grayson’s mouth opens quickly in shock before he closes it again, responding angrily.

“And what the fuck would you know about pleasing a woman? Don’t think you’re all big and bad just because you’re an old man. And not that you need to know, but I have plenty of experience thank you very much.” Grayson moves closer to you as he says this almost as if he’s protecting you.

Professor Driver places his pen down before pushing his chair out from his desk and standing to his full height. Your breath is caught in your throat as you see how much taller the man truly is compared to Grayson. It’s not a lot but considering the circumstances it’s enough to make a difference. Grayson’s head tips back a bit as to make eye contact.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about so I’d be quiet if I were you.” The professor warns. “You probably haven’t even made her wet yet,have you? But I had her clenching her thighs together with four simple words. So tell me now, Mr. Dolan, exactly why you think you have experience?”

Grayson is almost at a loss for words but an idea springs to his head. He reaches over to you, wrapping your hair around his fist and pulling you towards him causing you to let out a small whine at the pressure on your roots.

“She’s mine. It doesn’t matter what the fuck you say.” Grayson’s eyes are red with anger. The bigger man steps forward so that you are now stuck between the two of them, tension so thick you couldn’t even cut it with the sharpest of knives. The two large men sandwiched you between them as angry glares are shared, the amount of testosterone elevating due to the threat of the other male. You looked between the two, having to tilt your head back to see both of their faces before you realized the expanse of their chests on either side of you. The way that they had you, you felt more like a prize to be won than an actual person. You weren’t complaining.

“How about we let Miss Y/L/N decide? We can both fuck her and she’ll chose who she likes better. Although I think it would be a waste of time since we all know it’s me.” Professor Driver proclaims. Grayson reluctantly agrees as he turns you towards him.

“Mr. Dolan. Go lock the door and pull down the curtain.” The professor’s eyes are trained on you as he says this, large hands moving down to your waist and pulling you towards him. “Gonna be a good little girl for me, huh?” He whispers in your ear, sending chills down your spine as you nod your head.

“I’m not gonna fuckin’ do what you say.” Grayson argues, observing already what a grasp the older man has on you. The same man’s movements stop and he holds on to you. You look at Grayson with pleading eyes.

“P-please Gray. Lock it and close the c-curtain. I need you.” Your words are filled with a deep whimpering hunger that you can no longer control. Grayson gives in since you said it and does as he is told. As he is walking away, the professor leans close into your ear.

“You are allowed to call me anything you want. My name is Adam if you’d like to call me that but I prefer something a little more fun.” His lips are ghosting across your ear as he speaks, your knees going weak at just his words. Grayson returns quickly, grabbing your forearm and pulling you into his chest, before kissing you passionately. His lips are rough against yours and you can feel the anger in each movement he makes. Before you know it, Adam is behind you placing his hands up your skirt to take down the lace beneath. He rids of the small piece of fabric and lifts your skirt, large hands canvassing your ass before placing a harsh smack across it. You moan into your kiss with Grayson, letting him know the amount of pleasure you’re receiving from the admittedly more experienced man.

Grayson moves away from you and pulls your shirt over your head, throwing it behind him along with your bra before kissing all the way from your neck down to your nipples. He takes one into his mouth, kneading and pinching the other with his other hand. While all of this is happening, Adam is removing your skirt and reaching his hand between your legs from the back to rub at your sensitive core which caused his hands to practically drip with your arousal. Before Grayson is done the professor pulls you towards him by your hips and turns you around by your hips, lifting you up. You wrap your legs around him, your core rubbing against the material of his button up, neither one of the men having gotten undressed yet.

“S-sir please. Need more” You whine, burying your face into Adam’s neck and biting on the skin there. He lets out a grunt at your teeth against his skin.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you.” He reassures you, sweeping everything off of his desk and placing you on top. Grayson moves towards the two of you to keep himself included but he has no idea how to get access to you in the position that the older man has put you in. As Adam is unbuttoning his pants to be able to slide into you, Grayson takes his chance and moves towards you, crouching down after pushing the professor away and licking up the juices dripping from your core. Adam steps back, slightly impressed by Grayson’s willpower but still wanting to win you over. He lets Grayson continue, walking around to the side of you and moving your chin to face him. You come face to face with his huge cock and almost gasp in amazement of how big it is. He’s definitely the biggest you’ve ever seen.

“Open your mouth princess, take me in.” He demands softly, using his thumb to open your mouth for you before sliding himself in. The combination of him in your mouth and Grayson’s mouth fixed on you has you moaning around your professor so much to the point that after a bit he almost comes. He pulls out of your mouth and moves back around to where Grayson is.

“Move.” He demands, feet planted firmly as to assert his dominance over the younger man as he unbuttons and takes off his button up shirt. Grayson heeds what he says and moves to kiss you, letting you taste yourself on his lips and tongue.

“Do you want my cock in you, dirty little girl? You want me to fill you up, huh?” Adam asks, rubbing his tip up and down your folds to tease you before you answer. You pull away from Grayson’s kiss as he moves down your neck, gripping your hair tightly before moving his other hand to grip your neck.

“Y-yes please sir. Please.” You are almost crying at how desperate you are to be filled, pleading eyes looking directly into Adam’s. He smiles at your begging and plunges all the way into you, making you shout out in a mix of pleasure and pain. Grayson comforts you, leaving soft caresses all down your body. He even tries to rub your clit when your hips buck up but Adam smacks his hand away, instead pressing his forearm against your hips to force them to stay down.

“You say you’re experienced but don’t even know not to let her be such a greedy little bitch? Yeah okay.” Adam snarks, Grayson simply ignoring him and standing up so you could suck him off like you had done to Adam earlier. You open your mouth and take Grayson in as Adam pounds away into you in a way so good you can’t even begin to explain. Your legs are shaking with each pump he takes in and out before you finally are about to release around him.

“You need to ask my permission to cum, baby. If you want it you need to beg it’s not just gonna be that easy.” Adam’s previously stern voice turned a bit sweeter at these orders, knowing it would be difficult for you to keep everything in considering how hard and fast he was going. You pull away from Grayson and he continues to stroke himself next to you.

“Please Adam please let me come. Please I’ll do anything. Anything.” The last word comes out as nothing but a whine as you clench around him.

“C’mon kitten. Cum for me. Cum around my cock.” He only goes harder and faster as he says it, both men now being close to finishing. Grayson soon finishes, his liquids landing across your chest and seeing him is what sets you off. You cum around Adam, your walls clamping down around him so hard that he cums as well. He pushes all the way into you to keep all the juices, both yours and his, all inside of you before pulling out slowly so as to not let anything fall to the floor. Grayson steps to the side, taking off his shirt and using it to wipe his cum from your chest before Adam moves to your face, gripping your chin and forcing you to look at him. He pinches your cheeks so that your mouth opens and spits straight into it, showing Grayson who really has control. You swallow what he just gave you and moan, legs shaking from how hard you came. Grayson takes a look at the older man and just laughs, observing the destruction they both did to you. Adam smiles in return before grabbing you and making you sit up straight.

“So, who’s it gonna be? Who’s the better fuck, princess?” The professor asks.

You pause for a moment.

“Can’t I just have both?”

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yikesharringrove · 4 years

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Hello! i don’t think i’ve given you any of my weird headcanons in a hot minute so here’s a new favorite! Steve with ADHD, at first nobody notices it, he gets along well enough as a young kid people just think he has an active imagination, when in real it y he just can’t pay attention. He’s in 5th grade when his teacher pulls him out of class and tells him he needs to start paying attention, Steve almost starts crying as he tries to explain to her that he just can’t, that it doesn’t work (pt.1)

(pt.2) so the teacher tells him to stay back after class that day, he totally forgets and almost ends up leaving just further probing her suspicions. She asks him to extol in what he means, he doesn’t know what to say, says that too many things are happening for him to pay attention in class, and that sometimes if he hears another teacher he’ll end up listening to that, or if he can look out a window he’ll get distracted, and she already knows what’s going on, calls his parents for a meeting

(pt.3) So his mom comes in, his dad “could make it” but that works out for steve because his mom actually gets him tested, and his test comes back positive so he has to take meds now and sure his grades aren’t the best but they are so much better and he can actually sit in class and focus, but randomly in his sophomore year tommy finds the pills and makes fun of him and he gets so embarrassed that he just stops taking them, and his grades drop bad and he can’t focus and he feels like shit

(pt.4) he goes around like that for a while feeling lost and distracted but refusing to take his meds and be lame, he only starts taking them again after nancy breaks up with him because he needs to focus on something that isn’t the break up, but they aren’t working well which is to be expected he hasn’t taken them in more then a year, so he ends up totally freaking out and that’s how billy finds him, sitting on the bathroom floor with the WORST headache he’s ever had and he takes pity on him

(pt.5) billy and steve were kind of friends after the fight they had talked and worked things out, not super close but enough to not be so weird around each other anymore, so billy takes him home and makes sure he gets new meds and makes sure he keeps taking them and on days when he can tell steve is space and distracted and clearly forgot he’ll drive to his house and make him take them, and steve will bitch and moan but he actually loves that someone cares enough to make sure he’s ok

(optional pt.6) billy realizing he really likes steve when steve is talking about a special interest and getting super happy and he just can’t help but feel in love with him (is this totally based off my expletive with adhd? yes it is! is this the exact way my hug said she realized she love me? yes it is 🥰)

Hi! I have another one of your AMAZING headcanons in my drafts still, I’m working on it I’m sorry I’m the slowest writer ever.

So, I think I’ve said this, but ADHD makes A LOT of sense for Steve. I don’t have ADHD, so I’m sorry if this is in accurate, I did some research, didn’t want this to be like, bad.

Also, I put him on Ritalin for timing purposes and bc it can cause panic attacks. 🤷‍♀️ and his favorite animals are giraffes, goats and lobsters, 3 of my favorite animals.

Read on ao3

When Steve was little, he could never focus on something for longer than ten minutes.

He would be running through the house, leaving toys on the ground when he remembered a game he could play in another room. His nannies would roll their eyes, picking up after him.

When he got to school, it was more of the same. He would get distracted by every bird that he could see outside. He would be in the middle of class, the teacher would say something about giraffes and his mind would race about animals, would think about every country in Africa he could name, would think about whether or not Lithuania was in Africa.

His grades would slip, tests were a nightmare when he got caught up watching a bee buzzing near the window, only to realize he had answered three questions and only had eleven minutes left.

He was always a poor student, until fifth grade.

Mrs. Wilson had called him up after class, had noticed him zoning out and was about to chide him when she noticed the tears in his eyes.

“I just, I don’t know what happens, sometimes, my thoughts go too fast for my own brain and I can’t focus.” He was sniffling across from her.

“Steve, I’m going to have a chat with your parents. You’re not in trouble, but I think we can help you.” She smiled as she pat his shoulder, letting himself get collected before going to his next class.

She called his parents in at the end of the day, his mother sitting in the seat next to Steve, the principal joining them.

“I’ve noticed some trends in Steve’s school work and his presence in class. We think it may be in his best interest to test him for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. We feel that pinpointing the problem for him may be more helpful moving forward.

Mrs. Harrington agreed, waved her hand in a way that said she was bored of the conversation. Steve spent the whole next Saturday going through various tests, was wrung dry by the end of the day, but left with a clear diagnosis.

He began taking a low does of Ritalin, began focusing in class. His grades skyrocketed, getting the very first B+ he had ever gotten on his English essay.

He was okay until sophomore year.

He was an okay student, could focus in class, but not necessarily retain or understand the information.

But then Tommy found the pills, had laughed at him and called him retarded, the word that had haunted him his whole life, spat at him by the father that didn’t care about him.

So he flushed the pills, never refilled his prescription.

His grades slipped immediately. He wasn’t able to focus in class, had gone back to the days of staring out the window and getting confused about why it was called a square root.

He was constantly moving, would bounce his leg, would tap his pencil, would sometimes take the hall pass and just walk.

He knows taking his meds would fix the problem, but he had Nancy know, didn’t want her to know this weakness of his, this shameful secret.

But then he didn’t have Nancy, and his thoughts were racing, jumping from Nancy to demodog to Barb to Billy to his dad to Nancy to demodog to Barb to Billy to his dad to Nancy to-

He broke down February of senior year.

Graduation was soon as Steve’s grades were ass. He needed to focus on something that wasn’t Nancy, demodog, Barb, Billy, his dad. So he filled his old prescription, took the same does he had two years ago and went to school.

When he was first put on the meds, he was told panic attacks and anxiety could be a side effect. He had never experienced that before, but now, now he lived in constant anxiety, and with his Ritalin, he was a mess.

He had locked himself in the bathroom above the gym, the one nobody uses. He was on the floor, trying to ground himself against the wall, trying to think of anything other than Nancy, demodog, Barb, Billy, his dad, Nancy, demodog, Barb, Billy, his dad, Nancy, demodog, demodog, demodog, demodog-

“Pretty Boy?”

Billy was in front of him, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at Steve.

“B-Billy?”

“You okay? You’re kinda, kinda losin’ it.”

“I, I went off my meds for a, a few years, and I put myself back on them, and it’s, I, I know it’s lame, but they usually help and now-” he sobbed as Billy pulled him into his chest, soothing him softly.

“What meds?”

“Ritalin. It’s for, for ADHD.” Billy huffed a laugh.

“I fuckin’ knew it. The way you talk a mile a damn minute.” Steve’s heart sank. “And it’s not lame. Some peoples’ brains are just, wired different.”

Steve was starting to calm down, the anxiety shoving over into a raging headache. He groaned into Billy’s shoulder.

“What’s up?”

“Head hurts.”

“Want me to take you home.” Steve just nodded, his eyes squeezed shut. Billy drove him home, sat with him while Steve called his doctor, made an appointment for next weekend.

Steve had gotten a new medication, adjusted to his current state. The new meds were like magic, allowing Steve to focus when he needed, wouldn’t let him fall into hyperfocus on something that wasn’t productive. He finished senior year on a good note, with okay-enough grades to score his diploma.

He spent the summer at Scoops, working alongside Robin.

Billy came in every day. Would sit with him on Steve’s break. On the days Steve seemed more spaced, he would marrow his eyes, would say you didn’t take your meds today, would drive to Steve’s house to get them for him, would make sure he took them, would take drinks out of Steve’s hands at parties, would make sure he wouldn’t do anything to interfere with them, would dread the days he would find Steve nauseous from the meds.

Bonus:

Steve realized he was in love with Billy when he found out Billy starting keeping a small store of Steve’s meds in his car, would update them periodically to make sure they were safe, effective.

Billy realized he was in love with Steve when he was talking about every animal he could name. He showed Billy the small library of books he had bought for himself about animals, could explain the difference between kingdom, class, phylum, and genus. Was throwing out Latin names for his favorite animals, giraffa camelopardalis, capra aegagrus hircus, nephropidae. Billy couldn’t help himself, had just leaned over and kissed him, left Steve giggling as they made out.

#yikes writes #steve harrington #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble #harringrove #steve has adhd

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katslitg · 4 years

Text

how the open heart lis would react to you being pregnant. (obvs jackie’s pregnant in her scenario.)

Jackie Varma:

god she’d be pissed!!!!!!

“what do you mean positive??? check the other ten tests!!!!”

“jack, all of them say posi-“ “shut up!!!”

she’d be mad, mostly at herself for not being careful enough

pregnancy on top of money problems is rough

good thing you two already live together

wouldnt acknowledge it until she started showing

“dr varma, ure pregnant???” “yeah, just ignore it.”

shed ignore you at the beginning, not knowing what to do

“jackie, c’mon, you cant keep ignoring me! it takes to two to tango!” “i can and i will,”

when you finally force her to come shopping for baby clothes, supplies, furniture etc, she loves it

“omg look how adorable! can you believe our baby’s feet are this small!”

she’d become insecure further into the pregnancy

“what if im not going to be a good mom, hm?”

“don’t say that, jack, you’ll be a great mom,”

you two would move into the your room, since it had a better view and change her room into a nursery

the boys would help you put everything together.

“bryce, that’s not where its supposed to be- ykw forget it.”

“jesus, dr ramsey do you even know how to-“ bryce would shut up just seeing ethan give him a glare

“see i knew raf would come around to save the day” she’d flirt with him, making him blush

cutest mood swings ever!!!

“all im saying is he’s a fucking jerk and i- ohhh sienna are those donuts?”

jackie would get stressed at the weirdest moments, and you kiss her and cuddle with her to calm her down

“mc, you know i hate kids, why did this have to happen to us!!!!”

she’d slowly come to terms with the fact that she was going to become a parent

god giving birth would scare this woman, and trust me not a lot of things scare her

“mc, what if-“ “jack, breath, everything will be fine!”

when you two found out you’d have a daughter she smiled

“at least i wont have to deal with a little mc” she’d joke

when she got in labour she’d curse at everyone!!!

“AND YOU! YOU MC ARE THE WORST ONE HERE! GETTING ME PREGNANT AND THAN MAKING ME DO THE HARD PART I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!”

“uhhh....”

after a couple of years, the three of you would move into a bigger apartment, still close to the hospital

god, your daughter absolutely lovessssssssss aunt sienna and uncle elijah!!!! these two dorks would hang around with her all the time

“dad, can i stay at aunt sienna’s after school?”

“she’s working today sweetheart but mommy will be there to pick you up”

you two would have some sweet, annoying nicknames for her

love, sweetheart, sugar, honey etc

Bryce Lahela:

he’d be excited and scared

he would freeze when he found the positive pregnancy test in his trashcan

“i wanted to tell you but seems like you already found out,”

he’d shut you out and be less loud at work

“bryce, please talk to me” “uhh, cant have a long shift today”

but one day you’d show up to his apartment, keiki opened the door

“oh hey keiki, is bryce home?” “yeah come in”

youd try to get him to talk but man he was not feeling it

“i just need some space mc,”

wouldnt even take a week for him to come over and apologize to you

“im just not sure if i’d make a good dad, i mean i had two bad examples growing up, what if i-“

youd cut him off with a kiss

“no need to stress, bryce, im certain you will make a great dad!”

you two would have to look for a bigger place, and also someone to fill your spot at the apartment

sienna, elijah and jackie would help you decorate the nursery

“jackie those colours do not match with the blankets i bought” sienna would say while jackie just rolled her eyes

“well maybe you shouldn’ve bought so! many! blankets!” jackie said while holding up multiple blankets

“guys please its mc and bryce’s child we can’t fight over this” elijah was the only one who would think rationally

when you found out you were having a son bryce almost jumped into the air

“a little bryce,,,,” he’d say with heart eyes, making you roll your eyes

when you went into labour, he’d be the one freaking out

“can’t believe im saying this when im the one in labour, but good god bryce calm down!”

uncle raf!!!!! aunt kyra!!!!!

rafael and kyra would absolutely adore your son!!!! theyd fight over whose turn it was to babysit

“kyra, you had him last weekend!” “but mc said he always talks about how fun aunt kyra is!”

“why dont you two take him to the park together? he loves both aunt kyra and uncle rafael equally” bryce would say, making the two adults reluctantly agree

“finally a moment alone with the woman of my dreams” he said the second they left, making you chuckle

keiki would hang out with your son. occasionally.

“aunt keiki can you read me a bedtime story?” “right. im aunt keiki.”

she’d love it secretly

Rafael Averio: (pretending sora doesnt exist here lol)

this man would beam with joy!!!

he had always dreamt of having a big family of his own

“youre pregnant?” “yeah.... i-“ he’d kiss you before you could even say anything else

would brag to everyone about it

“do you guys know im goin-“ “going to be a dad? yes raf you told us like a million times” his paramedic friends would say

it was even funnier when you saw how some people avoided him because of it

would not leave ur side

“jesus ever heard of personal space?” “oops sorry”

he’d be at ur apartment all the time

“raf, not that we don’t enjoy you being here but don’t you idk have other friends?” jackie would try to get him out of the house

sienna’d be fine with it since he would help her cook n bake stuff

“i didnt know you cooked!” “not really just some stuff i picked up from my grandma”

he’d sleep over at your apartment

when you got insecure he’d talk to you and make u forgot about it in a certain way ;)

“what if im not a good mom? or what if your fanily doesn’t approve of me?? oh good god this is not going how i imagined-“ “relax, you know my family loves you, now get over here”

you’d move in with him, and get someone to fill ur spot in the apartment

the two of you going to the senior center together!!!

“now edith you better not get to comfortable” you’d joke, earning a laugh from rafael

kyra and bryce would come over and help with the nursery, of course it was after the boys’ gym day so bryce dragged ethan with them

“hey gu- oh hey dr ramsey!” you’d say with a bright smile when you opened the front door.

“kyra not that i dont love you but what even is this?” “yeah i tried to make a blanket but as you can see it backfired”

“uhm ethan you sure that this is the color we picked out?” bryce would panic, knowing damn well they didnt do the one you asked them to do right

“well good thing aunt kyra did got the good color” she’d go get it from the car while the two men started at her in confussion

when you found out you were having a girl he got super excited

“a little mc running around the house” he’d say, already coming up with names

when you’d go into labour he’d put up a calm gentle persona while in reality he wanted to screammmmm

uncle bryce n aunt jackie!!!

u cant tell me bryce n raf havent become close friends

“hey dad can uncle bryce and aunt jackie stay for dinner?” “sweetie youre ignoring the rest of our guests”

even tho they would admit it bryce and jackie loved babysitting her

“do you want to come with uncle bryce?” “bryce thats enough its MY day!”

his family would come around often, bringing gifts every single time

his grandma would try to get him to propose, earning glares from him

when your daughter heard juliana say something along the lines of “when is the wedding” she’d get super excited!!!

“are you two really getting married??!!”

Ethan Ramsey:

you two would already be in an awkward position bc of the gwyneth thing

what was worse was that he admitted to not wanting to get married and have children

god, that little fight on the way to leland and at house took a toll on you, so when june came to check on you back in the hospital you told her

“so, youre pregnant?” “yeah” you’d sob

she wouldnt force you to tell her who the dad is, but it was obvious

before the fight you’d always come to the diagnostics team’s meetings with a smile on your face but now it was a neutral face or sometimes even a frown

soooo ethan found out. not directly from you, but from june, resulting in another fight

“you told june but not me?” “you dont even want kids i cant just casually bring it up!”

the awkwardness would be there for a while, im talking 2-3 months

“enough already! you two talk this out! not only is this bad enough for the two of you but also for me and baz! think about us! and our patients!” june’d snap one day

you’d talk it out, still awkward around each other

“jesus, ethan we can’t keep doing this, i have an appointment to check on the little one, you want to join?” you would try to keep the awkwardness at a certain level, he’d nod with a smile on his face

so when he found out he was having a son, he’d be happy, still very scared but very happy

“im sorry, mc. i acted as a jerk and didnt listen to your needs. i want to be in your and our baby’s lives.”

he’d ask you to move in with him, which you reluctantly agreed to, i mean there wasnt even enough space for a nursery in your apartment

sienna would invite herself and elijah over to help you with the nursery , since they knew about you two since that time after the hearing

“thank you, trinh,” ethan would say as he accepted the cookies she had baked

“i helped too. just so you know” elijah chimed in, earning a chuckle from you

god labour was the worst, you had to do an emergency c section since it was a bit too early for the baby to be born

so when they send your son off to the nicu, ethan would be there the whole time, very worried

“dr ramsey, you should go we’ll take care of him” the nurses would try to get him out of there with no luck, “no its fine i just want to stay here”

when you two could finally go home he would make sure to never youre side

“mc do you need anything? want me to bring you something to drink? maybe an extra blanke-“ “ethan shut uppppppppppppppppp its 3 am”

of course your friends would come over but not as often since they had to take care of their interns and stuff

uncle baz and aunt june!!!!!

“AUNT JUNE!!!!” he’d yell when you, june and baz picked him up from the daycare at the hospital

“wow so youre just ignoring uncle baz?” baz would act hurt, making the boy laugh

#hope this is sorta ok lmfao #open heart #jackie varma #bryce lahela #rafael aveiro #ethan ramsey #jackie x mc #bryce x mc #rafael x mc #ethan x mc #open heart hc #headcanon

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el-im · 3 years

Text

im putting all the things ive been meaning to write posts about into one single item because i am feeling Very Observed lately and i figure with it being as early as it is that hopefully this wont show up on some peoples dashes by the time they get around to pulling up tumblr today.

first of all heres a photo dump and some captions

from when i texted charlie my images of the sisko card, which i was really hoping he’d like

a smiley face on my coffee

i was gonna make a gender joke here bc the longer i looked at these before n after pinning back my hair pictures the more i was like ‘oh we just flipped gender presentation like a lightswitch huh’ but that was not funny and i am not funny and I wish i were but im not and its kind of a >:( fact thats been bugging me lately.

from mom, yesterday, who dropped off one for me, one for nick, one for mia, and one for abe. i was expecting this to be the only thing i got/heads up/message on valentines day but i woke up this morning to find that aub had sent me a playlist that i looked at but havent listened to yet (because im trying to order my responses to things in increasing complexity and time--i responded to the tik toks elanor sent me first, them had a look at the star trek document that joe sent me and commented on the questions he asked without giving away spoilers, and am now making this post, which ive been meaning to make, and will then maybe try to listen to the playlist and then respond to michelle’s email)

these are joes thoughts from some ds9 episodes. initially, i’d sent him a list of ‘best’ episodes (my favorites AND the eps i thought were most emblematic of ds9′s issues--bajor’s relationship with cardassia, trill relationships, etc) hoping that he’d be able to see the merit of the show, but he insisted on re-watching the first episode before he started working on the list because he’d only seen it once a long time ago, and then, after watching ep 1 and captive pursuit (with tosk) decided that he’d try to watch the full first season, especially after i expressed my dismay at realizing he wouldn’t get the chronological introduction to garak bc ep 3 wasnt on my list of best episodes. anyway. he showed me this list of written reactions after watching ep 1 and captive pursuit and it made me so happy he decided he’d keep doing it, which i insisted wasn’t necessary because it seems to me like a lot of work (and which i still feel guilty about) but he was like told me that he’d only seldom seen me as happy as i was upon reading that and it was something little he could do to foster that joy which.. makes my heart crack in two).

anyway. the real reason i started this post was because ive been up in arms for the past few days about mia and covid.

speaking of which.

baby ‘passed’ first covid test. that arrow on the side is the minimized player where im watching nemesis. hah.

anyway.

to make a longer story short, my (pregnant!!!) sister decided, stupidly, to go with her boyfriend abe, a sound engineer, to a broadcast stage he was setting up in california, because she has a liver condition that appeared during her pregnancy which makes giving birth difficult (which is emotionally challenging for her because she had always wanted to do an at-home birth without drugs) and in fact, is a condition which typically leads to the birth having to be induced early, which means, at this point in development, that she could potentially need to have the child at any time. she went with him because she didn’t want to be without him if the baby needed to come. she was there for a week, with the both of them feeling sick all the while, and then came home early without abe because she felt bad and wasnt having fun, eventually getting a ride from my mother (who lives with my grandmother and great aunt, 93 and 86 respectively) back home from the airport (she took a PLANE!?). anyway. at our insistence, she was tested the same day she got home. she was reluctant to do it because she ‘didn’t think she had it’ and figured that it was ‘just the flu, honestly’ as if she had any way of knowing that???? in the day she was waiting for her test results, she came out of her room multiple times without a mask on, walking around the kitchen or playing with the dogs, even though we told her to stay in her room (and had brought her food/hot tea/whatever else she needed). she had no reason to come out when she was 1. sick and 2. not quite sure if she had covid or not

anyway. her test came back positive so she was trying to ‘stay in her room’, which lasted for.. not even a day. nick and i, who hadn’t seen either of them in a week, but had been around each other, got tests. we (as pictured) both got negative results, so mia must have gotten it in california rather than from someone we’d all seen (like nick and mia’s dad or stepmother earlier in the month)

abe came home soon after and had taken two rapid tests when he landed, but then, when coming home, immediately was sitting in the same room as my sister, without a mask on. he slept outside in our ‘arizona room’--a screened in patio with a futon in it for the first night. when his results came back (as negative), he decided that he was fine to be in the house, so wouldn’t wear a mask in the kitchen or in the living room, (something nick and i both did) AND would also be in the same room as my sister for long periods of time. i’d like to think he was wearing a mask in there, but i can’t be sure. he was playing video games in their shared room where mia was watching tv, as long as he (AND I QUOTE) ‘stayed in his corner’. it’s a ten by ten room at most. there’s no way that staying in there, even with a mask on, for as long as he did was a smart option. so... to reiterate. abe was in a room with my sister, who has covid, for a long period of time, and then wouldn’t wear a mask when in the common areas that everyone uses. which is... great right

and the thing thats been annoying me for these last couple of days in particular, ASIDE from all the dumb shit they’ve done up to this point, is that mia says abe needs to bring her food (valid) and YET mia is always in the kitchen (which doesn’t make sense). i was in the kitchen preparing a meal the other day and she came out to refill her water. which, if abe was functioning SOLELY to bring her things, as she was insisting, would not have warranted her coming out of her room. it was the middle of the day. she could have said she needed water and left her cup by the door and i could have refilled it and brought it back.... but she didn’t. i was wearing two masks (a cloth one over a medial grade one) but was still wary about her being there--because I was making food. i told her to get out of the kitchen because she’d finished getting her water, but she said ‘just a minute!!’ and continued, not three feet away from me, trying to pick up one of the dogs and playing with her. i kept telling her to go back to her room but she was acting as though i was being rude and being completely unreasonable??? she takes every request we make for her to stay away from us as a personal attack, like we don’t want to see her or be around her, instead of us trying to protect ourselves from covid??

THEN the fun part is after all this, abe sets up an inflatable mattress in the office (which is :) right :) next :) to my room) because he decides he doesn’t want to sleep in the same room as mia (reasonable) despite having been occupying the same room as mia for hours (STUPID). so now abe is using the hall bathroom, which nick and i use/shower in/brush our teeth in. before, abe had been using mia’s bathroom off the bedroom, and, again, had been sleeping in there. so now, if abe DID catch it from mia, which is likely, at this point, he’d going to give it to nick and i.

nick and i were upset about this, and told mia last night that she needed to stay in her room. that was how people quarantined. that is how you quarantine. you do not leave your room for ANY reason, especially if you have 1. MULTIPLE PEOPLE CAPABLE AND WILLING TO BRING YOU FOOD AT ANY TIME OF DAY and 2. A BATHROOM THAT CONNECTS TO YOUR ROOM. she came out and started yelling at us about abe, though neither of us wanted to fight with her (and there was no reason to fight about something we were CLEARLY right about). she said ‘YOU CANT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS’ which meant that abe can’t not use the livingroom and the hall bathroom (which we were saying he shouldnt do) and that he can’t be in quarantine with mia (stay with her in her room) but the thing is.... BECAUSE he has spent so much time with her, and because they weren't wearing masks when they were outside and BECAUSE he spent hours playing video games in the room that my sister has been quarantined in for a whopping two days--he now shouldnt ALSO be using our bathroom, because now we can get sick. (and probably fucking will!!!!) she is having him now stay in the office and use our bathroom (GREAT) instead of just biting the bullet and staying with her because he ALREADY HAD BEEN staying with her

and now they are both in the kitchen :)! i can hear them from my room. great.

anyway here r some sketches that i never uploaded before cause theyre hideous but im putting here because i hope to fuck no one actually reads this/scrolls down this far

#captain's log #it does not compute to me #that you can just be this fucking stupid #i hate her #i am SO fucking mad at her about this i dont want to live here :)

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amelmajrii · 4 years

Note

this is just my observation and i don’t mean it in a bad way, again as a reminder it’s only been 2 weeks since her debut. yes i said 2 weeks.

i think casey is doing a bit of shuffling in the lineup trying to figure out who works well together and where. i think tobin has an advantage here, because she can play both wings and the midfield if needed (seems unlikely bc united have a strong midfield but always good to have versatility).

whereas press is a forward. her natural position is a striker, it’s where she’s always played. this has only recently changed in the last few years (esp at utah bc 9 is the only position ARod plays so press didn’t have much of a choice otherwise). press is good at the wing and she’s good as a 9. yes ik she said she likes the wing she also said she’s always played at a 9. so i get why she’s being played there right now, and if you other anons are honest, you do too.

tricky thing for untied is they already had a few really talented wingers in galton and hanson. in comparison, russo seems to be the only true 9 (jane ross maybe but idk?). the obvious choice as a manager is to replace russo for press as she herself stated it’s her natural position.

also psa: idc who you are or how many trophies you’ve won you don’t automatically deserve to be in the starting 11, or displace other teammates (on the wings or elsewhere) who have been performing well just because you’ve won world cups. you earn all starting spots, and that’s my final take on this. you personally are not doing this but i’m seeing a lot of people complain about press not being a starter so i’d again throw out it’s still only been 2 weeks. but i felt the need to say this

i think that press is struggling to get back into form, and that’s fine. she hasn’t been out for long periods before and had to build her body back to game fitness and it’s new to her. and you can still clearly see this is the case, it may even take a few more games. welcome to professional sports guys.

imo she didn’t look fantastic today. i expect someone of her talent to put that goal away when she’s not being properly marked (like seriously you leave press open on the back post lol) and she did. i think the goal helps from a mental standpoint for sure, and honestly i think she was probably surprised she got it too.

you can clearly see her touches are still too heavy and she’s turning the ball over at the halfway line. and from what i’ve seen, when she gets on the pitch she just looks kind of tired and only has bursts of energy/speed, and is almost like waiting for the ball to come to her which is not at all how she usually plays.

i trust stoney. press got 15 mins today because stoney thought that’s what she needed/could contribute to the game.

while coaches and players can say whatever, we don’t actually know what press looks like in training and perhaps she’s not geling as quickly as tobin has (the front 3 today had a killer half) and that’s why stoney isn’t giving her more game minutes. as a coach i would not be trying to gel players when points are on the line. i’d wait to see it in practice first.

if that’s the case, i don’t blame stoney for not giving her much game time. i don’t think press has connected especially well with galton yet and stoney seems to really like having her on the pitch and when she’s having a good game (like today) she provides some quality assists.

so i think what i’m trying to say is that; while yes press needs game minutes to shake off her rust, if she’s not connecting with the other players on the field, then it’s not useful to have her out there. and i think a lot of people are having a hard time swallowing and think that she’s only rusty bc she’s not getting minutes, while i think there’s a lot more at play and acknowledging that sucks because she’s their fav which i get.

i think once she starts connecting better with the team, the rust will also begin to fade and that’s when we’ll see more of her. it’s been 2 weeks, i’d rather wait to see her when she’s at her best than what i’ve been seeing now when she’s coming on and not contributing as much as we all and she knows she could be.

thanks for reading my long ass take on this lmao. you’re one of the few people who actually really understands the technical aspects of football, and i think connection among teammates is very underrated and can ultimately make or break games. and for press it’s just not there yet. people keep complaining that she should be starting and getting like 45 mins and she’s clearly not ready for it yet, but she eventually will.

hope your french babies are well (neymar and veratti is a love story i didn’t know i needed) also love seeing diacre test positive for covid, karma doing her thing once again;)

Hi ! i took my time and read this. and i didn't know many people were complaining because i follow only a few on here.

The main reason like you said it’s because Press has never (thankfully for her) been out on long periods because of injuries and stuff like that so it’s harder to bounce back and get to a team, a new team in that matter. It maybe would have been easier if it was the NT where she has played for a long with the players. Also, Casey needs to find out as well who to play together and who works best with one another. I think the shuffling will go on for a bit with the return of Ona in defense and Lauren James. The international break will once again give CP and everyone staying time to gel and make connections on the pitch.

Also, CP is her best critic and then she has T and Casey as a coach to tell what went wrong sometimes. Also, Casey knows her value and wants to play her (im certain of that) but she also has to handle a team which has many attacking players. So its not that easy. I would try not to read too much into that part of her getting only a little minutes even though i want to see CP back to full form asap. I would have been bummed if T didn't play well but then i would not make that issue given the situation and how long they've been off the field. Again repeating this for everyone : They have been playing for 2 weeks ONLY!!!

and like you said, CP will definitely start kicking ass again because she's a talented, skilled and experienced player with a great understanding of the game!

my french babies are fine unless they do some shit on Tuesday against Man utd and then my morale will take a hit !

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seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana · 3 years

Text

The Girl in The Blue Dress

Chapter 14: Joining the Crew

@megatraven I never realized that I’ve never really said what Rose’s accent is. I wanted to say that it’s Greek :)). This whole story is kinda centered around Greek mythology (even if it’s a little twisted to my fantasy) so most likely everyone will have a Greek accent. And thank you Meg for helping me describe Rose’s outfit♥! And I do not know much about ships and just let my imagination take control. Plus, I hope you read to the end bc I love the ending because foreshadowing and I’ve been desperately trying to write that part for awhile so yeah. And not much proofreading. And sorry it’s so long LOL-

Apollo looked at the person and he saw that they had green eyes, blonde hair poking out of the black hood, and a smile on their face. But before they could stare anymore, a voice called out. “Ellie! Don’t scare the poor man!” Ellie sighed and got up and walked somewhere. He felt a bit better, so he finally could manage to sit up. He sat up and looked at his surroundings and saw that he wasn’t in a home or on any type of ground, he was on a ship. Panicked, he turned to the other side of him to see he was still at the ship dock. He knew it was the same place because the castle is the same, but farther. “How did I get all the way over here?”

“Well, you were poisoned and I dragged you here,” a woman said at his side. He turned to the side and saw Rose standing up and looking down at him, but she wasn’t wearing a mask this time and wearing something that really resembled pirate gear. She's got a leather corset over her brown vest, with a sheer, white undershirt with leather, light brown cuffs just above her wrists. Two buckles are drawn over the top of her corset, and a baldric over her waist that holds her dagger. She looked very intimidating, yet she had a nice smile on her face. “I’m not that surprised,” he said with a quiet laugh. Rose’s face changed to a worried look. “Yeah. You said you were new, so people will take advantage of that. They’re all cruel,” she said with her face changing to an angry look. “Well, you will possibly be weak for a little while, so I hope you don’t mind staying with us.” Her face went to a neutral look and waited for an answer. Apollo was going to think about it, but if they were truly going to hurt him, he could fight back, and he didn’t want to get himself hurt worse because of the poison. Then his thoughts went back to his friend and he really didn’t want to somehow spread to him (if that’s even possible). When he realized he was staring, he smiled and nodded his head.

“Sure, why not?” She smiled and nodded in response. She then held out a hand for him and he took it and was really surprised at her strength. Rose was not necessarily weak, but to pick up a man his size? Made him really impressed and he noted that he shouldn’t go against her. She turned to the side and moved her hand from one side to another, showing him her crew. Some were sitting or standing and talking, some working on tying the ropes to something, working on the sails, some looking or tinkering with their weapons, and some disappearing down into the inner ship. “I don’t have as many as other captains do, but these are people I trust with everything in me, so I keep them here and we explore the seas!” Her voice rose in excitement and she seemed truly excited about this ship, and it spread to him. “I’ve never really been out to the seas before.”

The only time he’s ever really heard about the ocean and its creatures was when Poseidon managed to find him and tell him tales of the ocean. He did find the tales interesting, even if almost all of them were dangerous, and he liked the sound the waves were making. Rose leans forward with her hands clasped behind her back and turns only her head to look at him. “So, you said you wanted to stay? You will have to do work, be prepared to possibly fight, share a room with a few people, and be ready for anything. Apollo looked in her eyes and saw her smugness of testing his patience, or maybe even trying to make him scared, but he didn’t back down. He’s seen too many things already and knows how to handle almost everything. Apollo’s mouth formed a smirk and lifted one eyebrow. “You trying to scare me off?” Rose straightened her back and turned to him, her playfulness gone. “Maybe, but I’m also warning you. The seas are dangerous for anyone and I don’t want people to regret joining me, and not know what they’re getting into.”

Apollo found her genuine concern sweet and kept his eyes locked with hers as he nodded. “I’m ready for it. But I might need some training with swords and daggers, I’m not too sharp on that.” Rose lets out a little chuckle and smiles at him. She quiets down and holds out her hand and he shook it without hesitation. Rose crosses her arms and points towards the ship floor, “Well, how about we get started immediately? You’re still a little weak, and I do not want to push your limits, so I’ll just show you the gestures.” She grabs her dagger from her side and moves it between her fingers in a fast gesture and it ends up in a tight grip with the tip facing the sky. Apollo feels a little excited at the opportunity and agrees to follow her. She walks over to a door that’s attached to the floor, lifts it up, and guides him down a ladder that leads to an empty room that has many weapons. Some small, some huge, some bows and arrows, some bottles filled with what looks like poison, and things to help someone if they’re injured. “Wow, you guys sure are prepared,” he let out a breathless laugh in awe. Rose turns to face him and gestures to the entire room. “It’s always better to be over prepared than under prepared,” she said with a cocky smile. “Anyways, I’m going to start you with a dagger,” her eyes seem to light up with excitement, “which is my specialty!”

Rose walks over to the wall with weapons and picks up a dagger that looked like hers but only had a black hilt and a red stone in the middle of the hilt. She hands it to him and shows him how to properly hold it. “Now, you don’t want to hold it to close to you, but not too far from you. You have to get close to the enemy to land a critical strike, so you cannot give them a chance to grab it.” She walks very close to him and wraps his hand around the hilt with his fingers holding it and his thumb resting against the beginning of the actual dagger. “But don’t press your thumb too hard because you’ll hurt yourself and we do not want an infection.” She looked up at him with a neutral expression and looked like a teacher that is being patient with a student who has no idea what they’re doing, “Now, what did I just say?” He looks at her eyes and the blue once again captivates him and, since she’s so close, he manages to smell lavender and it distracts him for a moment. When he realizes he’s staring, again, he shakes his head and clears his throat, a blush spreading across his face from embarrassment.

“I’m not supposed to hold the dagger too close but not too far, and hold it tight with my fingers but keep my thumb not heavily pressed on the actual blade,” he looked at her and saw her smiling. “Yes, that is correct. Now, I’m going to teach you one way of actually attacking,” she positions his arm so his left arm is twisted to the left, arm raised a little in the air, the dagger now facing the ground and titled slightly to the right. Now she moves his fingers to be on the hilt and not on the blade, and squeezes his hand so he will tighten his fingers. “Do you know what kind of attack this is?” He looked at the position and tried to think of different attacks a dagger could actually do, and she waited patiently. “It’s to stab someone? Cut them?” She does a slight smile and shrugs her shoulder. “You’re halfway right. This is used for cutting someone, but it is also used for a specific and bloody attack. This specific position is mainly used for stabbing someone in a vulnerable place, but it also used when you’re swiping the dagger to a side to cut someone in a quick way.” She moves behind him, grabs his hand, and moves it in a diagonal way, as if he is cutting someone invisible. “However, you could also use the previous position to also swipe cut someone, you can use either or.” He nods and she teaches him more ways of holding the dagger where he won’t hurt himself, won’t drop the blade, how to protect himself with even a small weapon like a dagger, but she ends it after a few hours.

“I will teach you more later, but this is how far I will go since you are still hurt from the poison. It will make you feel like you have a fever and I would not like for you to pass out,” she says with a smile, but a small worried look on her face. He nods and he suddenly realizes that he does feel a little dizzy, dying for water, and limbs feel a little limp and weak. “Oh, I really do need to rest,” he said as he ran his hand over his face. She laughed and ran her hand through her hair and sighs. “I do, too, but I can’t go to sleep just yet.” Despite her fatigue, she smiled and seemed excited to do something, so he decided to leave her be. “One of the rooms for the men is down this hallway,” she turns to the door behind her and points at it, “you’ll need to go down until you see doors on each side, and you need to take the second one on the left. I’m sure that one has room. I’ll get someone to bring you some water and food.” She smiled once more at him and did a little bow of her head and excused herself to go to the deck. He stared at the ladder she went up and got lost in his thoughts. He thinks of how she really was caring and patient, but he shakes his head after a moment because she probably acts like that to every new crew member. He begins to fall over for a moment but catches himself and realizes he really needs to go lay down, so he does.

He goes down the hallway, finds the room, and lays down on the bottom bunk of one of the two bunk beds. The ship slightly swaying from the ocean manages to rock him to sleep and he only wakes when someone brings him food and water.

The next time he opens his eyes, he’s not where he expected to be. He wasn’t on the ship anymore, and he was still laying on his back, but it felt softer than the bed did, and he saw the stems of flowers surround him and the sky above him. He sat up and looked around and he was in a small flower area and saw a slim path in front of him. Plants and bushes surrounded the sides of the path and trees blocked his vision of any other sight other than the garden. He stood up and brushed some dirt off of him and turned around and saw something strange. He only saw the small flower field and nothing was beyond it. His head hurt when he looked at it because it was so bright and he realizes this isn’t real. It looked like a white void, but his attention shifted when he heard a voice singing. It was light pitched, quiet, and he heard footsteps somewhere in front of him. He begins to walk down the path and the voice is quiet, but slowly getting louder. Then, he sees a person in front of him as he walks. A girl with a dress was walking in front of him.

The back of the dress had a white top that formed an X in the design, showing her shoulders and part of her arm. The white top ended at her waist, but before it ended, there was a golden corset that wrapped around her middle. The dress part was navy blue, and she had sleeves on each arm, but it looked like robe sleeves. The sleeves started a little above her elbow and ended at her wrist, it hanging down to almost the bottom of the dress, and he then notices she’s barefoot. “That has to be a little inconvenient,” he thinks in his mind. He then looks up a bit and sees that her hair is a dark brown, it’s in a braid, and is going all the way down to her mid back. After he takes in her appearance, he focuses on her voice and is confused.

It sounds like Rose.

Is this Rose? Did she take him somewhere? Why is she walking away? What is she holding? Why is she so quiet? The questions go through his head, but then he hears a sound among her quiet singing: a cry. A cry comes from a baby and he sees her begin to rock the child, her singing stop and turning into quiet shushes. He can’t see her front and assumes it’s a child. What else could it be? He’s confused and tries to walk faster, but he can’t, as if he isn’t in control anymore. He then hears her speak in Greek, but it’s ancient Greek. It’s the Greek language type that only the Gods know , yet she speaks it fluently. No stutter, no incorrect words, and her Greek accent is strong. However, she stopped suddenly (he does too) and straightened her back and held the baby closer to her body, as if she is afraid they’re going to be taken away. He suddenly feels that way too, feels that something is coming, something...bad. He tries to turn around, but he can’t move and he watches as the woman slowly turns to face him, and the breath is stolen from his lungs when he sees her face.

It is Rose. Everything is the same. Her bright blue eyes, her freckles on her nose and cheek, the dark brown hair, the voice that was singing quietly seconds before, her facial features were the same, but he couldn’t focus on this reveal for long, because he saw her eyes widen, her lips slightly part with a gasp coming through, and fear showing her posture and face. The baby began to cry louder and she just stared at him, but it felt like her gaze was behind him. He wanted to turn, to see what was scaring her so bad, maybe try to fight it away, and he finally did get to turn around, but when he did he wished he didn’t. When he looked behind him everything was the same. The flowers, bushes, trees, and everything was the same, but then he heard a noise he hated.

A scream rang out into the area, echoing in his head so loud to the point where he had to hold his hands over his ears. After a few moments, it stopped, and he turned back towards the woman, and saw no one. She was gone, the only thing left was a tiny spot of blood, and the white glow and peace began to fade from his mind. Fear, despair, and horror began to go through him a shudder went down his body, and the area disappeared and he heard another voice, but it was too deep and fast for him to even translate.

He woke up with a gasp and sat up in a hurry. However, he forgot he was in a bunk bed and he hit his head really hard, but that pain wasn’t as bad as the pain in his heart that he felt, but...

He doesn’t remember what caused it.

HEHEH SO...The ending is something I’ve tried to write before in, like, a different story that is still connected to this story (I mean like a little tale not an actual chapter story), but then I decided, “Nah this is the PERFECT time to slip this in :’).” I hope this wasn’t too long and I hope you liked the ending because I finally was able to write what was in my mind correctly, kinda. But yeah hehe I hope you liked the little bit of fluff only to be destroyed at the end :’’’). And here’s the dress I had in mind. The girl is Yuna and she’s from Final Fantasy.

#my writing #the girl in the blue dress #I LOVE them but I also love to make them sad and make everybody confused. And I meant to say that Apollo doesn't remember the dream but #he feels the same feelings he felt in the dream ya know? It was hard for that part and that image reference is what I wanted the dress to #look like in my mind because I love Yuna's dress. I had an entirely different outfit but I can't describe it so I just-#decided to describe Yuna's :')#ANYWAYS LOVE YOUUU and not much proofreading bc oof I'm busy and love to see your feedback and need to get this out now before #I forget >:)))

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camimcndcs · 3 years

Text

i’ll look after you

TAGGING: KJ @itskjapa, Cami.

LOCATION: Vancouver, BC.

TIMEFRAME: November 4th, 2020.

NOTES: KJ and Camila come together for the sake of their daughter after she comes down with a fever.

Cami: The past week had been a complete rollercoaster for both Camila and KJ. They hadn’t been communicating well and it had taken it’s toll. Overnight it seemed their relationship went from being about them to being solely about Talia. Speaking of their infant daughter, she hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and when Camila had gotten her up this morning she was fussy and crying. KJ had been gone when Camila woke up, but he had an early call time which was expected. She was supposed to be on set later this afternoon, but Talia was really starting to worry her. Their daughter had hardly stopped crying in the last hour and Camila was reaching her limit. Reaching for her phone, the raven-haired girl called her mother in a panic when she noticed her daughter felt unreasonably warm. Gisel had tried her best to calm Camila down, trying to not make her freak out as she calmly explained that the baby probably had a fever brought on by a cold. The best thing to do would be to take the baby to the hospital and contact KJ on the way. Camila thanked her mother with a panicked smile as she rushed around the apartment grabbing anything she might need for Talia at the hospital. She called Lisa and asked for a ride to the hospital, explaining that she would inform KJ on the way and he could meet them there. The drive from the set was about 40 minutes so she made sure to call her fiancé as soon as she got into Lisa’s car. It felt like it had been ringing for forever when he finally picked up and before he could even get a word out she was rambling on. “Babe? Hi, um, Lisa and I are taking Talia to the hospital because she hasn’t stopped crying since she woke up an hour ago and she’s really warm, my mom said it’s probably a fever, please, just meet us at the hospital, okay?” she spit out in just a couple of minutes, hoping he was already on his way to finding a ride to the hospital. “Try not to worry too much, she’s going to be okay…” she whispered, holding back her own tears. Camila knew that not being able to be here with them now was probably killing him. “I’ll text you updates, we love you,” she whispered, the words already feeling somewhat foreign on her tongue which she hated.

KJ: Just as easily as autumn had settled over Vancouver, things behind closed doors had drastically changed. KJ had pondered on the situation enough to get headaches, but he was still as dumbfounded by the sudden turn of events regarding his relationship with Camila. It was as if one day she had decided to shut him out; their only common ground being their daughter. Although he was doing his best to keep a positive outlook, telling himself it was something most mothers went through the first weeks after birth, he was slowly losing such battle. Keeping up a good front was becoming harder, but there was nothing else he could do without fearing of worsening their fragile bond. Every day was a new prayer that she would find it in herself to grab the hand he desperately kept extending her way. His break between takes was spent as he usually did lately, looking at pictures of the two of them. Better times he kept longing for. It constantly brought this spurt of courage that died down as soon as he crossed the threshold of their apartment without any greetings from his fiancée -- unless she needed him to run to the store for diapers. The redhead was thrown off his walk down memory lane when her face appeared on the left corner of the screen, his thumb immediately brushing against the green button on the other side. "Hey--" he started, cut off by Camila who explained the emergency currently happening. Without missing a beat, he jumped from his chair, looking at Lili on his way out of the tent; who thankfully understood he needed to leave and went to warn the crew. "I'm not worried. You shouldn't be too, she's totally going to be okay." He breathed out heavily while racing to where his car was parked, door flung open before he quickly settled in. Phone still in hand as he reached out for the keys hidden in the sun visor. The next words she uttered made him pause and for a brief moment KJ thought he was probably dreaming them. Though his heart wouldn't be soaring for any other reason. "I love you too, Cami." he quietly replied, eyes brimming with tears as the emotions he couldn't contain washed over him. "I'll be there soon." All he left behind him was a cloud of dust as he sped away from the studio. Inclined to keep his word and be with them as quick as possible.

Cami: Hearing her fiancé on the other line brought a surge of hope to Camila's spirit. She knew that Talia would be fine, but bringing their tiny baby to the hospital was still scary. It was every mother's nightmare for their child to get sick. The raven-haired girl brought her free hand up to caress Talia's face as she continued to fuss in her car seat. "Drive safely," she whispered to KJ on the phone before hanging up, feeling some sort of relief when she saw the hospital come into view just a few minutes later. Lisa dropped the mother-daughter pair off at the front door to the emergency room, promising to be in as soon as she had parked. Camila took a deep breath before walking into the building, finding someone to speak with immediately to get Talia checked in. Lisa was entering the building when a nurse took Camila and Talia back for a physical exam to measure her weight, heart rate, temperature, and oxygen level. The minutes seemed to pass like hours as the nurse tended to Talia before she informed them that they'd be put in a private room to wait for a physician. Camila sent a quick text to KJ to update him before taking Talia in her arms as Lisa grabbed the car seat to follow them into a more private area. She told the nurse that her fiancé would be joining them soon and the nurse promised to get him to their room as soon as possible. Again, the minutes seemed to pass slowly before the physician entered the room and Talia had gone back to inconsolable crying which was making it hard for Camila to stay calm. Taking a few deep breaths, she explained to the physician what was going on, and the doctor explained that they would have to do some tests on Talia to see what was really wrong. It could be something as simple as a cold or something more serious. Camila nodded her head in response, tears filling her eyes as she looked down at the little girl in her arms, hoping and praying she would be okay.

KJ: Drive Safely, Camila had uttered before ending their phone call, but KJ had been anything but safe while on the road. Wanting to be by her side and Talia's as soon as humanly possible. The traffic was busy as usual, but not enough to prevent him from reaching the hospital in record time. As if God had led the path himself and made sure there would be no obstacles on the way. As he rushed inside the building, he couldn't help but be reminded of the last time a similar scenario had happened -- except the circumstances had been more joyful. Yet still as nerve-racking considering they were both treading into new territory. This time, there was no one to greet him or lead the way, at least no one familiar, and although words rapidly fell from his lips in what he deemed as quite incoherent, a nurse seemed to understand him nonetheless. She was quick to reassure him as they walked down the hallway, believing their baby had surely caught a cold and would be alright. It's always frightening when it's your first, but you'll learn with time. He held onto those words and hoped she was right. "Thank you." he nodded at the older woman before stepping inside the room, his brown eyes settling on his fiancée as soon. Not wasting any time, he separated the distance between them and wrapped an arm around her frame while simultaneously caressing their daughter's face. Feeling for himself just how warm she appeared to be. "Hey, I'm here. Anything new? Did you talk to the doc?" he asked, pressing his lips against Talia's forehead. The fingers resting against Camila's hip digging slightly into the clothes she was wearing, resisting the urge to drive her closer next to him. They were both worried in that moment and she had whispered those three words he had failed to hear for a while; but he knew better than to assume anything. He would make himself available, but wouldn't force more than the current touch he was bestowing upon her as they both watched over Talia.

Cami: Despite the noise in the hospital, Camila could hear the sound of her fiancé's voice which caused her to look up, feeling a sense of relief wash over her as he quickly made his way over to her and Talia. "Hi," she whispered, the tears that had welled up in her eyes falling as he wrapped his arm around her waist and leaned down to press a kiss to Talia's forehead. "Yeah, um, they need to do a urine test and a blood test to see what's going on," she replied her voice shaky as she relayed the information she had from the doctor. Once it looked like the little family was settled, Lisa stood up and excused herself, letting the couple know she would be thinking of them and praying for a speedy recovery. Camila promised to update her as they got more news and then it was just the three of them, waiting for the doctor to come back to run the tests. Taking a deep breath, Camila handed Talia to KJ and then wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face into his bicep as she began to cry. She hadn't wanted to cry earlier because she had needed to pay attention to everything the doctor was saying, but now that it was just the three of them she felt like she could finally let go a little bit. Camila had been holding in a lot of tears and she knew things were off between them, but she also knew that they needed each other right now to be strong for their daughter. "I hate being here, I know it's probably just a cold, but I hate being here and I hate that they're going to run tests on her, she's so small," she whispered into his sweatshirt clad arm. At least Talia had finally seemed to calm down in her father's arms, Camila was thankful for that, but she was certain the tears would come again when they needed to get a blood and urine sample from their baby girl. "How was work? Were you busy?" she asked, hoping to distract herself from the reason they were in this hospital to begin with.

KJ: There was no denying the anxiousness she was exuding in that moment — the slight tremor in her voice as she explained what would unfold gripping his fragile heart and squeezing tight. No matter how frightened KJ was as well, despite the encouraging words the nurse had shared previously, he knew he needed to be the strong one. The shoulder she could lean on and be her vulnerable self around; like a rock that wouldn’t falter. “It’s gonna be fine.“ he reassured Camila as his gaze ventured to her face. The long strands of hair in the way not being able to fully hide the tears that were clearly rolling down her cheeks. The redhead had been too preoccupied to even acknowledge Lisa in the first place, though he gave her a small nod when she offered to keep Talia in her prayers. Thankful for the alone time they would get as a family during this situation. “Hi, baby.“ He was taken aback when Talia found place in his arms, but not as much as when Camila used the opportunity to fling herself at him. Her warm breath tingling all of his senses. How he had missed having her this close — the warmth radiating from her body enveloping him whole. “I know, Cami. Me too... I wish things could be different. But we gotta see the positive in this. Once those tests are done, at least we’ll be sure. And we won’t worry as much.“ he whispered in the crown of her head, pressing his lips against her hair while the hand that was resting on the small of her back kept her close to him. A handful of minutes passed before she tried to make small talk, something he wasn’t truly inclined to but humored her with anyway while they waited. “Just the usual, aye. I was finishing a scene when you called... nothing that I can’t reshoot later though.“ Standing in the middle of the room, he almost forgot for a second about the circumstances surrounding them; simply basking in the two most precious people in his life. “I’m sorry I wasn’t home with you. But I ain’t going anywhere now.“

Cami: The tears continued to flow from Camila’s eyes as KJ did his best to reassure her. “But what if it’s not just a cold? What if she’s really sick?” she whimpered a bit, closing her eyes and trying her best to take deep breaths. She knew that she shouldn’t be thinking like that, but being here was making her anxious and Talia had never been so cranky and upset before. Camila knew that it was the only way their daughter could show that she was in pain or didn’t feel well, but it was still scary. “You’re right, you’re right,” she finally breathed out, smiling softly as his lips pressed against her hair at the crown of her head. “Your daddy’s got you, T, you’re in good hands,” she whispered to the baby, reaching out one hand to caress the little girls cheek. “Well, that’s good. Anything exciting?” she asked with a smile, trying her best to distract herself. “That’s okay, babe, you were working to provide for your family, I can’t be mad at that, you’re here now, that’s what matters,” she whispered, reaching up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. It was at that moment that the doctor stepped back in to administer some tests. She asked that one of them hold Talia during the process, because it would provide some sort of comfort to her. Once they’d done the tests, they would get her into a crib and hook her up to some medicine to at least calm her fever down. The doctor informed them that if things started to look better in the next few hours they’d let them go home with some more medicine they could administer on their own since the tests wouldn’t come back for a day or two. Camila pulled away from KJ and offered him the chair in the room, wanting him to be the one to keep Talia safe through this because she didn’t know if she was currently strong enough to. Moving behind the chair, the raven-haired girl placed her hands on her fiancé’s shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze, watching as he listened to the doctors instructions for how to hold Talia during the different tests.

KJ: All KJ could do was hold Camila tighter against him, providing the comfort she was seeking while trying his best to prevent himself from following right along the negative thoughts she had voiced aloud. They were in the back of his mind, whispering softly but he refused to give in; instead keeping his brown eyes on their daughter as they both surrounded her with what he hoped was a sense of safety. Your daddy's got you. He wanted to tell his fiancée he was there for her just as much but swallowed the lump in his throat, afraid that if he pushed his luck in this moment, the spell would break. And then she would take her distance once more, leaving him feeling like an empty shell. Yet she surprised him on her own by being so kind and understanding regarding his absence -- something she had blamed him for days ago -- and as her lips came in contact with his cheek; a shaky breath flew past his own. The gesture so familiar and foreign all at once. One that didn't last as long as he would have liked it to and clearing his throat, he tried to get himself back on track. Finally answering the casual question she had thrown his way. "Nothing very exciting, nah. Just the same old drama in Riverdale, aye." A quiet chuckle followed suit before they were interrupted by the doctor, who immediately got his undivided attention. The redhead lost count of the number of times he nodded along as she spoke and settled down on the chair Camila dragged toward him -- indicating he would be the one to hold Talia during the different tests she would endure. "Is this okay?" he asked while holding the fussy baby against his chest, making sure one of his limbs wasn't in the way. The weight of his fiancée's hands as she placed them on his shoulders keeping him focused. Heavy and soothing; clearly still looking for the strength he had been supplying from the beginning while also sharing some of her own. They always worked best as a team.

Cami: Keeping her hands steady against her fiancé’s shoulders, Camila listened as the doctor explained that they would draw some blood from the babies heel and then put an absorbent pad into her diaper and wait a few minutes for her to pee. She spoke up to let the doctor know Talia hadn’t really eaten much this morning, so a feeding would most likely have to happen before they got her urine sample. Watching as KJ held their daughter against his chest, the doctor wiped Talia’s foot to clean it and then pricked her heel with a needle which caused her to scream out. Camila couldn’t bare to see her little girls face become red with tears, so she gave the redheads shoulders a squeeze and closed her eyes, willing the tears to not come. The doctor placed a bandaid on her heel and KJ turned the little girl in his arms to try and comfort her. At that point, Camila had sat herself next to them in a chair, ready to feed their daughter. The doctor instructed her fiancé on applying the absorbent pad to their daughters diaper which he did carefully as Talia squirmed on the table. When everything was secure, he handed their daughter over to Camila who undid her shirt, silently praying Talia would latch on and actually eat something or else they’d be hooking her up to more than just an IV for medicine. The thought of her baby laying in a hospital crib, hooked up to machines did not sit well with her, so she needed Talia to eat this way. As she felt their little girl latch on to her breast, Camila almost let out a cry, tearing up slightly at this tiny victory. “She’s doing it, babe,” she whispered, looking over at KJ and reaching out to squeeze his hand. There was finally a comfortable moment of silence between them as the only sound came from their daughter suckling from her mother’s breast. Hopefully she’d have a full diaper in just a few minutes and then they could get her hooked up to some medicine to slow her fever down.

KJ: Everything that was coming out of the doctor's mouth seemed way too complicated to understand the more she explained herself. At least on KJ's side, despite how much he relentlessly nodded along whenever her gaze would find him. Which is why he was quite relieved to see Camila interacting so easily with her, appearing to be very in tune with the process Talia would be put through -- although the grip on his shoulders was a reminder that she was trying her hardest to keep her composure. For once in what had seemed like an eternity, they were finally on the same page about something. His heart broke for the second time that day as his little angel cried harder than she had before, but all he could do was press her harder against his chest. Praying that the gesture alone would appease her in some way. The redhead had always been good at doing what he was told to and followed the instructions properly when he was asked to apply the pad; the confident motions a stark contrast to the expression crossing his features. There was only so many emotions he could prevent from taking over after all. "Roger, roger... we're landing on Cami's island. Happy boob, Miss T." he whispered under his breath as a small smile tugged on the corners of his mouth. The sound of his voice loud enough for their daughter to hear. He never ceased to come up with some idiotic sentences that he was certain would make her laugh one of these days. Watching intently when his fiancée offered the boob in question so she could latch onto it, a bright grin broke on his face as she did so -- the look on Camila's making it hard to do anything but smile. A beautiful sight that had been rare to witness lately. After a handful of minutes and two hands that had been unable to let go of one another, KJ was given the task to burp Talia. Which he did as soon, pacing the room slowly while his hand came in contact repeatedly with her small back. "You just watch, she'll have that pad filled out like a pro.”

Cami: The laugh that fell from Camila’s lips at KJ’s whispering as he placed their daughter into her arms was the first time she had laughed in a couple of days. “Yes, happy boob indeed,” she giggled, keeping his hand held tight in hers. When Talia finished eating, Camila handed her back to KJ to burp her. Watching as he slowly paced the room, gently patting her back to get her to burp. His confidence in their daughter and his more positive outlook on the current situation was good for Camila. Once Talia had let out a burp, she watched as her fiancé laid the little girl down to change her. The doctor had returned in that moment from dropping off her blood sample and was ready to take a sample of her urine if their little girl had actually gone the bathroom. Camila stood, standing by KJ’s side, caressing Talia’s cheek as the redhead checked she diaper. To their relief, it was full and Camila let out a little cheer, leaning in to press a kiss to Talia’s forehead. She still felt so warm which worried Camila, but she knew they were now on track to getting her better. Their doctor took the sample and then explained that a nurse would be in soon to hook their daughter up to an IV to slow down her fever with some medicine. Scooping Talia back up into her arms, the raven-haired girl stood waiting for KJ to wrap his arms around her from behind and keep them both safe in his strong arms. “Will you hold us?” she asked in a whisper, knowing he had been staying back to give her space if she needed or wanted it. But space was the last thing she wanted right now. As his strong arms latched around her waist, Camila leaned into him, pressing her back against his chest. Looking down at Talia as their baby girl let out a yawn. “You can take a nap once they get some medicine into you, baby,” she whispered, feeling instantly calmer in KJ’s arms.

KJ: Just as he had predicted, Talia had filled out her pad as nicely as possible under such circumstances, and a part of him couldn't believe they were so happy to retrieve what ultimately could be deemed as a dirty diaper. Though it would determine whatever illness she was currently taken over with and that was quite enough for him to get on board with the idea -- a slight fist pump accompanying Camila's cheer. The obvious stress that had washed over them would only find rest once they would be able to go home, but being reassured regarding the current fever would lift a weight from their tired shoulders. As they were once again left on their own, KJ nervously licked his lips, his brown eyes drifting from the two most important people in his life and settling on the floor. Now that Talia was back in his fiancée's arms, he wasn't certain on what he was supposed to do. She had been very hands on from the start, but he didn't want to assume she was still looking to have him close. The question she suddenly uttered in a quiet and vulnerable voice caught him off guard, but he was quick to react -- moving forward and slowly wrapping his arms around them. The redhead allowed himself a brief moment to breathe her in, so tempted to kiss the patch of skin that was so near and seemed to call out his name. But a light kick from his daughter brought him back from the spell he had been put under. "She's gonna be okay. There's nothing that can get to her-- not while we're together." he whispered, so certain of such statement. The medicine would do the trick and they would watch over her like hawks nonetheless; barely get any sleep as they'd act like the protective parents they were. "T is strong like her mum. Ain't you, baby girl? All you need is a little cocktail and you'll be crying for food and that cute pacifier you love so much. It'll be like nothing's happened." He could only hope that would be the case for the tension between them.

Cami: With KJ's arms wrapped tightly around Camila's waist, she felt completely calm. Closing her eyes as she felt him breathe in her scent, the moment was interrupted of course by Talia, kicking at her father's arm, but they really couldn't be upset with her when she was sick. As he whispered encouragement to them, Camila nodded her head in agreement. Knowing they worked better as a team, but still unable to fully grasp why her hormones had taken such a toll on her mood. She couldn't help but giggle at his next comment, brushing her fingers against their daughters cheek and leaning down to kiss her forehead which was still warm to the touch. The doctor reentered the room again at that moment with a nurse right behind her, wheeling in a crib and prepping the IV for Talia's medicine. Stepping out of her fiancé's arms, Camila stripped their daughter of her clothes and gave her another kiss, offering her up to KJ so he could give her a kiss as well. Holding her close as they got the IV into her almost broke Camila as their daughters cries filled the room again. "It's okay, T, this is going to help you feel better, I promise, baby, please don't cry," she whispered, trying to soothe the little girl as best she could. Once her IV was in, Camila gently placed her into the crib and turned towards KJ, falling into his arms as sobs wracked her body. Deep down she knew that this was good for their daughter and she was going to be okay, but the sound of her crying just broke her heart into a million pieces. It was also scary to see their daughter hooked up to an IV with other wires surrounding her. Burying her face deeper into his chest, Camila tried to catch her breath as he held her. She was so thankful to have him by her side through all of this even though tensions had been high between them. He could've just been here for Talia, but instead he was here for both of them and it was just what she needed.

KJ: After agonizing hours waiting for things to get better, they had finally be allowed to leave the hospital with a sleepy Talia by their side. The results of the tests they had put her through wouldn't be available until the following day, but the doctor had felt quite confident in her diagnosis when the fever had dropped down -- giving them a handful of instructions regarding the medicine they were provided with. The ride home had been rather silent, though the tension was still nowhere to be found. Their interactions were slightly awkward at times, mostly on his side as he wasn't entirely sure how to react. KJ never failed to follow suit in the end and take whatever she was willing to offer him, especially under such stressful circumstances. Camila had found place with their daughter in the backseat, wanting to stay as close as humanly possible. Something he couldn't blame her for, quite the opposite. Glancing back yet again in the rearview mirror as he came to a stop at a red light, he was surprised to catch her looking at him instead of the baby who had been under her very watchful eye as soon as they had gotten in the car. The redhead mustered a small smile, one that was returned immediately and animated the butterflies in the pit of his stomach. Despite the anxious and tired look crossing her features, she was still just as beautiful and he wished he felt confident enough to utter such words in that moment -- ultimately, he wasn't. "Should we lay down in bed with her when we get home? Or do you prefer something else?" he questioned with a tilt of his head, brown eyes venturing back onto the road as he moved forward in the direction of their building. Although he couldn't find it in himself to compliment her, he was brave enough to include himself in the scenario that would unfold at home. She had been in his arms too much that day for him to think she would want the rest of their time to be different.

Cami: Sitting in the backseat with their daughter, Camila kept her eyes on the little girl in her car seat, glancing at her fiancé from time to time. When he caught her eye at a red light she couldn't help but return his smile, thankful to have him as her rock throughout all of this. "You look so handsome today," she whispered, blushing slightly as he looked at her. Glancing down again at their daughter she nodded her head in response to his question. "We should definitely lay in bed with her until she falls asleep and then see if she'll sleep in her own bed. You're not going back to work?" she asked, hoping he was going to stay with them, but understanding if he had to get back to work. Even though it frustrated her sometimes, she knew that it wasn't up to him when he worked. She was lucky to only have to work a few days a week, but he didn't have that luxury. Once they arrived back at their building, Camila got out of the car and let KJ carry Talia in her carrier up to their apartment. She was thankful to be home, with her family and out of that stuffy hospital room with their baby hooked up to different machines with wires. The raven-haired girl was quiet as they rode the elevator up to their floor, standing close to her fiancé and little girl as she waited for the elevator to stop. Once it did, she stepped out, grabbing her keys from her purse to let them into their home. "It's good to be home," she breathed out, setting her purse down and walking towards their room. Camila immediately changed into one of KJ's shirts and a pair of leggings, crawling into their bed waiting for her fiancé to join her as he changed Talia's diaper and stripped her of her onesie to keep her cooled down.

KJ: Just as if they were still on the same wavelength despite the rift between them, the compliment she uttered caught him off guard -- his gaze lingering in the rearview mirror until the car behind them loudly made its presence known as the next red light they had encountered turned green. "Shit." he cursed under his breath, pressing his foot on the pedal and turning right when they reached the underground parking of Shangri-La. Making a fool of himself wouldn't probably work in his favor, although Camila had always seemed to find it endearing. Alas, things hadn't been quite the same these days. "Yeah nah, I sent a text to Roberto. He understood I was needed at home. I can't really leave you both alone..." he trailed off as they came to a halt in the reserved space, eyes widening slightly before he quickly spoke again. Afraid she would take his words the wrong way. "I mean, I wanna be with you. It's been pretty tough seeing T this way." Before he could say something that would officially dig his grave, he led the way to their apartment; their daughter seemingly in better shape than previously as she quietly kept her brown eyes on the both of them. Instructions had been given on their way up and it was dutifully that the redhead changed Talia's diaper, leaving her practically bare. Once in the bedroom, he smiled at the sight of his fiancée wearing one of his shirts and kicked off his shoes -- gently laying down their baby in the middle of the bed and finding place beside them. "You look beautiful." he breathed out, his gaze trailing over the sheet before confidently finding Camila's. "I wanted to say so earlier, but..." A light scoff tumbled from his mouth and the little girl became the center of attention once more in an attempt to save himself from embarrassment. Small steps would perhaps allow them to find their way back to better times. They could meet each other halfway with simple gestures. "Someone's gonna have the best nap ever, aye. Can't get any better."

Cami: As the car remained stopped even as the light turned green, Camila couldn't help but laugh as the car behind them loudly made their presence known and KJ muttered under his breath. Thankfully, the honking didn't disturb Talia, who was too busy rubbing her gums against her mother's finger. If they had disturbed their daughter, Camila was certain her mood would've turned sour rather quickly. As her fiancé fumbled over his words, the raven-haired girl rested her free hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently. "I get it, babe, it has been awful seeing our little girl this way, I'm glad you're staying," she whispered. Following KJ up into their building and then their apartment, she could hear him babbling to their baby girl as she changed her which brought a smile to her face as Camila waited for them to join her. Once Talia was laid in the middle of their bed, Camila threw her arm over their daughter's waist to keep her secure. She gently caressed the smooth skin of the little girl's stomach, as KJ joined them in the bed. A slight blush crept up on her cheeks as he complimented her, watching as he again fumbled over his words before focusing his attention on the little girl who had stolen both of their hearts. "Thank you, babe," she whispered in response, making sure to acknowledge his compliment. At his next comment, she watched as a yawn fell from their daughter's lips. She was thankful Talia had been able to calm down and was now feeling ready for a nap. It was a nice change of pace from the crazy morning. "I'll let her fall asleep here and then we can move her to her own bed, mommy and daddy deserve their own cuddle time," she whispered sweetly, reaching over to run her hands through the redhead's hair. Things had been tense between them, but right now, all she wanted was to be completely wrapped up in his strong arms. The events of the morning had really worn her out.

KJ: Like for most of the day ever since she had called him regarding Talia's feverish state, Camila's words rendered him speechless -- the surprise crossing his features undeniable as she mentioned cuddling with him once their little girl would be asleep. KJ couldn't quite recall the last time they had done this purposefully. He had woken up wrapped around her many mornings, but usually because they were both inclined to roll over during the night; thus finding themselves in close proximity. Her mood swings, that were more intense than the ones she had graced him with during her actual pregnancy, were in the way each evening when he came home. He never truly knew what to say or do in order to make it better, preferring to give her the space she needed and allowing her to come to him on her own terms. It was all so frustrating, but today was the first time there was a glimmer of hope for them to get back on the right track -- for their fun and loving side to take over again. "Yeah, we do." he breathed out as the look in his eyes softened, his own hand gliding between them and resting on the small of her back; drawing her closer against their daughter. Closer toward him. The ticking sound coming from his watch almost drove him crazy as the minutes passed them by, the anticipation of the moment bubbling inside his being. There was nothing that mattered more than Talia being safe and sound, but the thought of being close to his fiancée was at the forefront and had been ever since she had mentioned as such. When it became clear their baby was fast asleep, the redhead tried not to appear too eager while he moved her to her own bed -- carefully laying her down on the mattress and backing away just as quietly. Yet he couldn't conceal the excitement he was submerged with as he plopped down on the space he had previously occupied and waited for Camila to separate the distance. One arm folded behind his head and the other spread out; inviting her in his embrace.

Cami: Watching the look in KJ's eyes soften warmed the raven-haired girls heart. As his hand came between them before resting on the small of her back, drawing her closer to him she couldn't help but smile. It had been awhile since they'd been like this. Once Talia had finally settled down and was now fast asleep between them, Camila watched as her fiancé carefully moved her to her crib, being extra gentle after the long day their sweet baby had to endure. Once he came back to the bed, she immediately snuggled as close to him as possible. Camila pressed a kiss to his shirt-covered chest before nuzzling her head into it for maximum comfort against him and in his arms. The air in Vancouver was only getting colder and she was thankful for his body heat that always kept her warm. "I'm glad you're home with us," she whispered, truly meaning the sentiment she expressed. Sleep was soon to take over her body, the day had been exhausting and she was ready for a nap, but she was also just enjoying the feeling of being in KJ's embrace. Talia stirred and Camila turned her head for a second, hoping she wouldn't cry or need anything. Thankfully, she remained quiet after that and then the couple was free to allow sleep to take over their bodies. Camila hadn't felt this at peace in weeks which she knew was noticeable to those around her, but there was nothing she was truly doing about it. Being here right now with her fiancé was all that she cared about, the morning had been quite a scare, but now that Talia was alright, she felt so much better. A quiet late afternoon nap was hopefully going to be the rejuvenation they all needed. She could feel her eyelids closing as she lay with her head against KJ's chest and she fell asleep quickly to the rhythm of his heart beating in his chest.

#( para )

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you-did-well-moon · 4 years

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questions tag :))

i was tagged by the lovely @bearboyunho thank uuuu

relationships: I was in one for a maximum of three hours dkejek. Ill explain in the breakup question. This is definitely not a relationship im proud of. It caused me too many problems considering how short it was...

break-ups: I have so many trust issues and insecurities, i think i still have a long way to grow before i can enter a relationship, besides i havent met anyone yet. I didn't lead this person on, i treated him as a friend. And i usually spent more time with him since we were both in track. He caught feelings for me which i honestly knew about but i didnt say anything bc i didnt have feelings for him. One day during lunch with all my friends at the time he asked for a relationship. He later confessed to me he did this on purpose because he knew i would feel bad saying no to him, and that paired with the pressure of my friends, i said yes. He held my hand, and it just didn't feel right. Everything didnt feel right. So three hours later i got him alone and told him i wasnt ready for a relationship but that we could still be friends. He took it relatively well, but he avoided me. His cousin confronted me and told me he cried all weekend, but she said she understood and that she was glad i said no in the end which i was confused about but didnt question just wanting to leave it behind. Then it all started the next year. Out of nowhere he texted me, which was ???? Bc i never gave him my number, but i talked to him believing he was doing this on friendly intentions. lol i was a dumbass. Later my friend revealed to me he had lied to her and said i was paired up with him during a project. I also found out he asked her for pictures of me. His cousin which im friends with also told me she was sure he was not befriending me on good intentions, and that she was creeped out by him. My friends had continuously told me he would speak about me as if we were together to other people, and that he stared at me for weird periods of time. At this point im fucking scared and confront him and say i dont want to be friends with him and that i dont think us talking or being friends is healthy for either one of us. He continued texting me, making me feel bad when i didnt respond asking me if i hated him i had to eventually block him. He gave me a present on both valentines and Christmas which i rejected but he forced me to accept them. After class i always packed up my stuff slowly bc i had a good relationship with my teacher and talked to her. He stood in front of me and just stared at me while i packed. We actually had a kpop club, and one day he showed up. I was part of student council, and at the middle of the year he started attending. He sent me kpop memes to try to get my attention. I felt so unsafe i told my English teacher. Eventually he gave up when i started being firmer in my silence and overall attitude towards him. so yeah.... a relationship that didnt even last a day caused all this. I genuinely wish i had been more careful. The red flags were there from the beginning and i tried ignoring them bc i wanted to be nice. Dont do that, if someone maked you uncomfortable please dont feel bad and cut them off for as long as you need to. Anyways- nExT quEstiOn.

kids: i dont have any but i want twins so badly it's stupid. I honestly dont mind having kids that aren't twins. I just want two tbh. A girl and boy.

brothers and sisters: i have one sister who's five years younger than me. Im very close with my two cousins tho so theyre like sister to me too. They're older than me by more than five years.

pets: i have three dogs. Two shih tzus Otis and Bella, Bella is mother to Otis. He's the only puppy we kept from when Bella had puppies. I have Rocky a very clumsy english bulldog. I also have a beta fish called Suho.

surgeries: Ive had two. One when i was four to get my tonsils removed because i got sick a lot, and last year i got my gallbladder removed because i had gall stones. That one was so painful i couldnt laugh or do anything without everything hurting.

tattoos: None but i would like one. Not big ones, just small meaningful ones.

countries i’ve been to: Mexico....i miss it

been in an airplane: my family is not in the class where we can take an airplane to travel or even travel to other states. Ive only been on it twice for a contest i won.

been in an ambulance: Twice as much as i can remember. Once for my sister who had a really bad seizure when i took her to a doctors appointment and the other when they had to transport me to another hospital when they first found out i had gall stones.

i sing karaoke: no but you can usually find me singing along to a song on the radio or randomly around my house.

ice skating: I would love to try. The closest ive gotten is rollerblading. I can't do any fancy tricks but i can balance, but oh no i havent gone in such a long time. My poor rollerblades are collecting dust in my garage.

been on a cruise: ..... this is a joke right? Let me have enough money to buy groceries first.

driven a motorcycle: ah i would really like a motorcycle, but no never.

ridden a horse: Lolol all the time. When i was young my uncle helped out at some stables that were literally at the end of my street snd and he always took me a long with him. A lot of my family especially in Mexico and in the valley have ranchos which means they have horses and you can usually find me hanging out with the lovely animals.

stayed in a hospital: I once went because my head was killing me and i found out it was migraines. I had gall stones for seven months and stayed in the hospital about two times a month so yeah i was there a lot. And for the surgery of course.

favorite fruit or berry: Watermelon and Guayaba. Also green grapes.

favorite color: peach and aqua.

last text: "ye ok" it was from me to my cousin since i was gonna go to her house but she was with my grandma who tested positive for covid so we both decided it would be safer for me to keep my distance.

coffee or tea: coffee. i need it to survive. As long as it has sugar im ok. But tea is great for when my stomach hurts. I just prefer coffee. I could drink it any hour.

favorite pie: Pecan, especially with ice cream its so good. Key lime isnt bad either.

favorite pizza: i dont really care? I like all of them but when i was little and we'd go to the mall my dad would always get this big pizza that was big enough to have things stuffed inside it and it tasted so good. Its a good memory.

cat or dog: dog but i really want a cat.

favorite time of year: Chritmas and Thanksgiving always. I love it. Especially Christmas when my family gathers together and we play games and everyone brings a traditional Mexican dish. We stay until like 4 am and its always great.

met a star: That one woman who had an affair with george bush. I met her. That doesnt really count. Yeah no one, i met basketball players but i dont remember from which team or who they were. I met ted cruz. Cool story tho my english teacher knew one of shinee's choreographers.

flown a helicopter:..... umm. nO..

been on tv: Nah. Probably in the backround of some news things.

broken my leg: no ive never broken a bone surprisingly.

seen a ghost: i had sleep paralysis it was close enough.

been sick in a taxi: never even been in a taxi. Ive been on a uber tho.

Tags: @doyoungbunnyagenda @butterflybam @brighttragedy @saturnsluna @waterfallsandrosebuds @jooheonyonehunnit @leecherryyong

#moon gets tagged in stuff

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amyscascadingtabs · 5 years

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you’ll keep me intact

read on ao3

They were going to see Hamilton. That’s what she’s most upset about.

They had been planning the date night for two months, weeks before they got a positive pregnancy test, and she’d been so excited. David had given them the tickets after receiving them as a gift when he bumped into Lin-Manuel Miranda on the street, discovering that the two of them looked like twins.

(“It was crazy”, he’d told Amy over the phone. “But anyway, I don’t really follow pop culture, so you can have them if you want.”)

Amy had been stoked - Jake was sure to love this play much more than he’d tolerated the first one they saw together, and they were going to have dinner at a proper nice restaurant while wearing actual fancy clothing. She had been thinking of busting out the red dress she wore at their first real date, and yeah, she may have been longing for the chance to see her husband in a tux again, so sue her.

The play starts in ten minutes and Amy’s in bed.

She should be sitting in a red plush seat holding hands with the love of her life and waiting to see the musical they both know too much of the lyrics to performed live in front of them, and she’s in bed.

She’s furious, and she’s too exhausted to do something about it, because being in your first trimester of pregnancy is everything but energizing. The excitement and gratefulness aside, Amy feels as if someone took one of the worst hangovers she ever had and extended the duration of it to weeks and months, then subtracted the fun alcohol-part and added extra mood-swings. She can’t drink at Shaw’s anymore and lacks energy to do anything else but go home and sleep the moment her shift’s over, she struggles to follow a conversation when she’s busy fighting a wave of nausea, and now she’s cancelling date nights. With the thought of her baby still an abstract concept she struggles to fully wrap her head around, the whole situation is mostly aggravating.

The lighting in the room is not as striking bright as before, creeping closer to sunset but not there, so Amy figures she must have slept for a while. It’s the kind of golden hour out now that she’d adore a romantic walk in, capturing a few cheesy couple selfies with her phone while enjoying the view, and she considers calling for Jake to ask if they can take one before realizing he's the one who decided they weren't going out tonight, not even for a walk or Hamilton. She's too tired, was barely able to keep her eyes open during their drive home, and it's a bad nausea day on top of it.

(“You're going to sleep,” her husband had stated when she insisted one last time that maybe she could do it, even though she'd had to throw up at the mere consideration of different food smells at a restaurant. “You need it. C’mon, I'll let you be the little spoon.”)

There had been no way for her not to fall for his offer, and she drifted asleep minutes after changing into pajamas and curling up in his arms.

She's alone in their bedroom now, but there's a folded neon orange post-it on the pillow next to her. The squiggly handwriting scribbled on it is one she’d recognize anywhere, and she grins as she reads it.

Went to the store to buy ice cream, the note says. Plus more saltines and orangina bc i know you like that best (you’re orangina!). Love youuu.

He’s drawn a collection of uneven hearts after the message. Amy traces one of them with her index finger, waking up slowly to the background noise of Taylor Swift being played from the living room and telling her Jake must be back by noe. She wraps the comforter around herself and sneaks out into the hallway.

He’s watching the Reputation Stadium Tour. It’s the All Too Well-performance, a favorite for them both in the two hour five minute-recording of the show, and she expects him to be so focused on the television it's a surprise when he turns around, eyes lighting up when he sees her.

She's tired and she's bitter about the cancelled date night and she's felt sick for the entire day, but once she sees the content, dreamy smile he meets her with, all of the world’s misfortunes seem less disastrous. All the miracles appear brighter, too - a joyful spark in her heart reminds her they're having a baby together, and every bit of suffering she's going through will be worth it thousandfold less than seven months from now.

“I would ask you if you managed to get some rest,” he comments playfully. “But I checked on you a bunch of times and you were out like a light for all of them. How are you feeling?”

“A bit better. I’m sorry”, she mutters. He wrinkles his forehead at her apology, so she explains it further. “For being boring. This isn't exactly the exciting date night we’d planned from the start, and it’s all my fault. ”

“Stop that.” He gestures for her to take the spot next to him on the couch and she does, resting her head on his shoulder for extra closeness and letting his arm snake around her waist. “Ames, you couldn't be boring if you tried.”

“We were going to a fancy restaurant! We were going to Hamilton!”

“Yeah, but we totally made a couple purple-haired theatre kids the happiest people in New York when I sold them the tickets cheap.” Jake shrugs. “All I care about in a date night is getting to spend time with my wife.”

“Your hopelessly boring, moody and nauseous wife?”

“My badass wife”, he corrects her with a kiss to her hairline. “My badass, incredible, gorgeous and awesome wife.”

“She sounds great, whoever she is.”

“Oh, trust me. She is.” There's a smile on his lips so wide she's tempted to kiss it off of him - she does, shamelessly, and he whispers the last words against her lips.

Taylor has moved on to her Blank Space-performance on their television. Amy notes how Jake is moving his feet to the beat of it, miming along to the lyrics. She's seen him watch this movie at least ten to fifteen times and he doesn't seem to have grown tired of it yet. As far as date nights go, Amy supposes they’ve both been through worse - at least there are no exes or depressed bosses to be found in their apartment tonight - but it doesn't stop her from wishing it could have gone differently.

She drapes her right leg over his lap so she's practically straddling him just to get closer, burying her face in his neck and making a mental note to thank him for immediately ceasing to use the aftershave whose scent makes her sick now. He lets her stay close, doesn’t even complain about her blocking part of his view of the tv, and she makes another mental note to really, really thank him whenever her energy returns.

“I really am sorry about tonight, though”, she whispers after a minute, ever so distracted by his fingers tracing feather-light patterns on her neck. “Wasn't what I planned.”

“Title of your sextape.”

“Ha-ha.”

“You love me”, he reminds her, grinning. “Really, Ames, it's okay. I don't mind this.”

“I know, but…” She bites at her lower lip. “I guess it hit me that we won't be able to go on dates like this for much longer.”

“What do you mean?”

“Before we only had to coordinate work schedules. Now we’ll have to find a babysitter, and deal with leaving our baby to someone else, and it’s going to be difficult. I feel bad for ruining what might be one of the few opportunities we have left in a long time.”

Jake frowns, running his free hand through his hair in a fruitless attempt to smooth a few curls out. He just makes it messier, but she doesn’t have the heart to tell him.

“You’re really worried about that?”

“A little, yeah.”

“Do you want logic or reassurance?”

Years of partnership, courtship and now marriage have taught them a few handy tools in dealing with each other's anxieties. This distinction is one of them.

“Logic”, she decides, and he nods. “If you have anything.”

“I do”, he promises, pausing the television at a shot of the concert audience holding lights in the air. They almost resemble a starry night sky, Amy thinks when she looks back at them. “Let's start with time. It's only May and we're having a baby in December. We have oceans of time to go on dates, especially if you start feeling better in the second trimester like all the websites say.”

“We're going to have a lot to prepare and it's going to go by fast. Plus, it's still not a ton of time. What do we do when they’re here?”

“Charles”, says Jake, and she furrows her brows, so he explains. “You think we’ll have a problem finding babysitters? On the list of people who will love our baby the most, Charles’s name is literally right below ours. You know he'll be dying for every chance he can get to spend some time with them.”

“And what if our kid doesn't like Charles?”

“All kids love Charles, I doubt ours will be an exception.”

“Fine”, she relents. “Babysitting is settled. Still, we’ll be tired, and hesitant to leave them, and it’ll take work and I just...” Amy can feel tears burning behind her eyelids - they’re always too close now, all of her emotions intensified. “I didn’t want to cancel this. I wanted to give you something nice as a reward for putting up with me right now, and this is what you get. Taylor Swift, hanging out on the couch, and your emotional mess of a wife.”

He doesn’t say a word at first. She wonders briefly if if the reason he’s pursing his lips and watching her with an expression of either pain or pity is that he thinks she’s right, that she is letting him down. When he keeps lightly massaging her neck and leans in for a chaste but sweet kiss on her lips instead of complaining, it confuses her.

“Ames, I meant it when I said it was okay. I don’t care about the date nights, I care about you.”

“Just admit you’re disappointed.”

“A bit”, he admits with a weak smile. “But not for the reasons you think. It sucks that you’re not feeling well, and it sucks that I can’t do much about it, and it sucks that you’re upset about this. But I still think it’s a perfect date night.”

“In what world would it ever be perfect?”

“You’re here.” Another chaste kiss to her lips. “You’re here, we’re watching Taylor Swift, and I have a full liter of our favorite Italian gelato in the fridge. That’s as close to perfect as it gets if you ask me.”

“Oh my god, you bought the good ice cream?”

“Yeah?”

“I seriously love you.”

“Ah.” She recognizes the characteristic dorky grin from years ago as well as yesterday, but it makes her heart skip a beat all the same. “And here I’ve been all these years, thinking your love for me was fake.”

She punches him in the shoulder for that.

“You know”, Jake says when he hands her a generous bowl of vanilla and caramel ice cream, “We can have this kind of tv and ice cream-date nights when we have a baby, too.”

“We’ll be falling asleep on the couch”, she corrects him. “And staring at a baby monitor like crazy people unless they’re sleeping on us.”

“Well, Amy Santiago”, Jake grins, “I can’t wait to fall asleep on the couch with you.”

It's not the night she imagined, but when they go to bed and he once again lets her curl up into a ball while he holds her, playing with her hair until she falls asleep, she couldn't be more okay with it.

(Two weeks later, Jake reveals he managed to buy new Hamilton tickets. Five weeks later, Amy gets both her nice restaurant-date and her Hamilton experience, as well as a chance to show off an incipient baby bump in the sleek red dress.)

#i don't like this that much and was just hesitant about posting it at all hhhhh but it's here and it's fluffy #hope it can make someone's evening better #b99 fic #my writing #peraltiago fic

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