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#because it is all about the emotion

turns out the character limit is 140 not 130 oops

[2/2]

(don’t rb pls)

#flick ticks, #based on trying to make sure you have a partner in your life or obsessively maintaining the relationship you’re in then you’ve, #veered off your path and are working against yourself. It’s not your instinct to assert yourself or cause trouble but at some, #point in your life you’ll have to face standing on your own and getting comfortable with conflict. You can’t please, #everyone or let your happiness be dependent on how others see you. It’s about becoming your own best partner but doing this, #is brand new for you and takes time to grow into. It may have been especially hard when you were younger., #When in doubt you might fall back on needing a relationship to give you a sense of value - you could even make the honest, #mistake of letting this role define you. Being nice & likable is part of you but it’s not all of you; you are not one-dimensional, #You have many complexities that make up who you are and you’re intended to embrace them all. You might repress or refuse, #to acknowledge other sides of yourself in favor of what you find familiar or what the culture around you says you should be, #but this tactic could be the root of your frustration or pain. Ideally you’re open to evolving and accepting all parts of yourself, #no matter how different they may seem. // like. holy fuck¿¿ yeah like. jesus, #hm . so like. literally it is in my nature to be Like This but also i wanna say how i was raised is why i'm so like. flip-floppy and why my, #emotions are Always Extreme- there is very little gray area when it comes to how i feel tbh..... i'm either happy/content or i'm at extreme, #it's Only black and white for me and i'm? learning now how to like. get that under control create more gray areas w/ my emotions, #i'm only just now learning all this. i have no idea what i'm doing. i'm learning to be my own fucking person finally, #i don't know how long i'm going to struggle with feeling allowed to feel my feelings for because like. every single time i've felt my, #feelings it? got someone hurt as far as i could tell. i seem dishonest when i scream & throw fits and then apologize and say ''i love you'', #but i really could not be more sincere every time i said ''i love you''. i know it's hard to compare my feelings to my actions and like. my, #actions were absolutely dispicable don't get me wrong- but i don't just throw around ''i love you''s. to me they're? very special. they, #always have been, #idk. idk where else i could go w/ this, #but uh. yeah
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MWT really really said Crispin’s Day with this scene huh?

Gen: goes from campfire to campfire to encourage the soldiers

Me: nice.

Soldiers: don’t recognize their king in his borrowed cloak

Me: NICE

Soldier: “ What man will stay in his bed when the Medes are coming? Who wants to say ten years from now, ‘I had a good nap that day!’ No one will remember their nap. They’ll remember this.”

Me: tears up in “gentlemen in England now abed shall count themselves accursed they were not here / but he’ll remember with advantages the deeds he did this day”

Lefkis: gives the king one of his gloves

Me: inarticulate sobbing and wild gestures

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.

#I think I bottled up too much of emotions, #.....the meltdown isn't far away, #there are nights where I just sit and I realise that I have so many things I want to talk about, #but... there's no one who will listen to me, #I know ; I know that there are so many people in my conversation box, #I know some of them will listen to me, #but why should I bother others? Why should I burden them?, #you know...as much as I'm afraid and I don't want to admit ; most of my conversations will stay dead if I don't reach out time to time, #I know I'm not important ; I'm a lonely broken girl who will never be important, #I just... I'm done feelings so worthless and useless, #I can't smile anymore ; it hurts to smile when all I want to do is cry, #I don't want to be sunshine and rainbows ; because I am not, #do you know how hard it is to fake a perfect smile when you just want to cry & leave everything behind?, #I thought that I'm a good actress and I can pretend better, #but I can't, #it's all so overwhelming, #I always try my best to keep up my head and brighten others day...but it's immensely hard when there's no light in your own life, #ig I'll just smile and pretend that I'm fine for the rest of my life🙂, #I don't think anyone will listen to my sap talk ; and more importantly I don't want to burden them with whatever happens with me, #a bad person ; a bad daughter ; a bad friend ; a bad writer ; everything about me is bad, #like why the hell am I still alive??, #sorry for the rant ; please unsee it if you stumble upon this, #probably delete later, #love y'all ; dw about me, #🙂❤️, #I wish I knew how to handle myself, #literally everyone has problems in their life ; do they nag about it like me?, #no they don't, #done with my crappy self
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huh. perhaps surprisingly overdue but add natsuyuu to the list of anime that officially made me cry

#like it makes me very emotional all the time, #but i just finished s4 when he goes to visit his original house before it gets torn down and hooooo boy, #that fucking hit hard, #the contrast of when he walks into the empty house and says ''tadaima'' and gets no answer, #vs when he goes back home to shigeru and touko and theyre both there to greet him happily and warmly, #bro i lost my mind i cant take that shit, #ohhhhh my god this show is amazing, #retag later, #ny blogging, #he walks in and im like ''if he cries i cry'' & then i fuckin beat him to it gjdjbdhfjg, #when he takes the family photo w shigeru & touko and then says ''wait can we take another one'' so sensei can be in it too 😭😭😭😭😭, #fuck. FUCK., #i think what actually set me off was when he first walked up to the house and ran his fingers over the nameplate reading ''natsume'', #that was fucking devastating. a home with /his/ name on it. the place he originally belonged. /his/ home, #god fuc im gonna cry again just thinking about it!!!!!!!!!!, #seeing the childhood scribbles on the walls that were still left there because he was loved, #that distinct feeling of something so happy hurting so much to reflect on, #how natsume deliberately avoided thinking about these things because of how much they hurt, #lying on the back porch and finally letting himself remember is what finally causes him to lose his composure, #the message of acknowledging the things that hurt but are so so important, #the message of allowing these things to have their place in your life and to then move forward with new happiness, #what it means to redefine ''home'' and what's important in the here and now, #the juxtaposition of not only the two homes but of the photos, #to take the old photo of his parents that he isnt even in, #and overwrite that heavy emotional baggage with his current family of which he is very much a part, #he considers nyanko sensei an important piece of his current happiness..........., #outside of all pretense of a relationship based strictly on madara being a bodyguard and nothing more, #his presence in natsume's life is important to him and he thinks of him as part of his family, #even though he'd planned to visit the old home alone before sensei tagged along he brings him inside with him, #to a place so incredibly personal and emotional and vulnerable to him; it speaks volumes
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the crippling fear of being seen as annoying or attention-seeking vs the crippling need to be heard and acknowledged by friends on the internet, fight

#txt, #*needs to write down what the fuck is wrong with me so i can realize i might be piecing together my trauma and how it affects me little by, #little*, #*can just do it in a small personal journal*, #*fears writing in a journal bc my parents look throigh everything i have eventually*, #*doesnt want to write it in notes because ifeel stupid and it feels like talking to myself which is embarrassing*, #*is still talking to myself in tags; albeit with the conforting thought of maybe 2 ppl reading it and hearing what im going theu*, #i never really had anyone to listen to me vent thru life and actually listen so having my friends to listen is. Comforting, #idc if novody responds i actually prefer it that way, #bc i dont. want people worrying about m or being stressed bc of me, #i just want someone to listen and acknowledge the fact im Working Shit Out but just . yknow. acknowledge it and move on, #of course if im crying for help or asking 4 advicei. want help but if im just spilling out some beans? im just talking into soace knowing, #some1 will read it andmy thoughts will be acknowledged, #thats all i want honesty, #all my life ive been punished for showing emotion other than happiness and Stable.ness?? so like. i just want those feelings to be known, #im rambling but like. TLDR: if you see me venting in tags dont get too concerned and dont get annoyed, #just blacklist my vent tag or shut up bug tag or smtng, #id spill my beans on like a secret journal app but its the same as notes app. its humiliating to me i dont know why, #guess ill just find out why eventually lol. im like my own mental case. im just a spirit trapped in a shit brain trying to clean up the, #place and find out why its so shit in the first place, #thats how it feels right now, #idk what happened here, #idk why i do what i do, #but im sure as hell gonna find out and get better eventually, #ok ill shut up now! bye keep scrolling mwah💖 im okay i hope you are too!, #shut up bug, #vent, #delete later
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5th ep of gaya sa pelikula…….e-emot….ions……

Anna oh my god i love her with my entire heart. When they were talking about prom i was like……oh my god ho…..no don’t do it……maybe they won’t…..maybe the scene in the trailers will actually be in the last ep but it was NOT….. it really was a recreation of lost youth. all i could see were fresh faced 17 year old boys dressing up for the first time with their hair done up for prom. like that really was….. i already emotons by then and that scene where he runs away and then looks at himself…….i really couldn’t see what was going on in the scene because the tears were blocking my view 

#THE TECHNICAL PART?? ANOTHER MASTERPIECE, #the Cinematography the Editing the SOng SelectionNN, #you know how a violin player feels when a movie portrays real violin playing at climax?, #or how a medical professional feels when they see everything portrayed like its in real life? like how it makes, #makes them feel immersed into a show?, #THAT's how someone who's into filmmaking feels when they watch this, #ALL the Creative EDITINGG, #i really couldn't get enough of it THE PACING done SO WELL, #i watched this 30 min ep in like 1 and half hours cuz i kept replaying the editing and the ACTING, #i just had to replay a scene multiple times to see/enjoy/absorb everyone's actingg, #of course this was all in the first halfff cuz boy when i reached the prom scene all thoughts of behind the scenes technicalities flew away, #i was IN the MOMENT and was EMOTIONAL and i mayhaps have been weeping, #like gurlll i knowww i really was out here clutching my dead youth and sobbing over its grave, #the buiLDUP YET AGAIN THE pACING THROUGH OUT THE ENTIRE EPISODE GODD, #i really wanna know what its like to work behind a masterpiece like thissss, #the only beef i had was with the colouring and lighting like girl i couldn't see what was going on make it brighter my dudes, #i was squinting to see the expressions i even switched my light off like i know they're in a power cut but WE'RE NOT it was on 1080p and i, #still couldn't see a lot of it clearly, #i can't talk about the song selection because *bursts into tears* it was REAL TOO REAL, #i stopped crying and i started again when the ending message came on, #there's two more eps left, #this holds 1st place in my heart for coming of age romance, #DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON ANNA OH MY GOD, #FINALLY A HUMAN FEMALE, #FINALLLYY I LOVE HERRR, #gaya sa pelikula
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