series synopsis. bonten is forming and in the midst of it all, you find yourself caught in the sticky webs of your ex boyfriend and current bonten executive, haitani ran.
a/n: a lil flashback in this chapter, not too much going on..yet
JANUARY 2006
Shion burst through the living room door, storming over to Ran and waving his phone in his face. “You wanna explain why (Name) just called me up crying because of you?”
“What the fuck are you talking about,” Ran asked through a thick exhale, his thumb idly moving on the joystick of his controller as he picked a location.
Shion rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what I’m talking about. Which is literally why I came here to ask why the fuck you made her cry?”
“I didn’t make anybody cry.”
“Yes you did.”
Rindou glanced over at Shion and fiddled with his controller, amused by the difference in attitudes between both boys. Shion looked like he was two seconds away from throwing his cracked phone at Ran’s face, but was hesitant on doing so because everybody knows how that fight would play out, and Ran looked like it was a regular Sunday afternoon, filled with nothing but playing video games with his brother and snacks.
“I didn’t make anyone cry,” Ran repeated and Shion groaned, rubbing his temples as he remembered how stupid Ran could be and how he lacked in the department of taking accountability. “She called me up and asked if I heard from you and I said yeah, why, then she told me “oh because he hasn’t answered my texts in days so I wanted to check in”, now I come in here expecting to find you dead or something instead you’re just playing fucking video games!”
Ran honestly stopped listening around three words in and successfully chose a location, and a character. Grinning, he nodded over at Rindou as he started to pick his own character.
“Hello?????!” Shion clapped to get Ran’s attention. “Ignoring me doesn’t change anything. In fact, it proves to me that you’re guilty.”
“Dude. What do you want from me?” Ran looked up at Shion, leaning against the back of the leather couch. “You wanted me to stay away from her so that’s what I’m doing. Now you’re mad that I’m staying away from her?”
“Staying away from her doesn’t mean ghosting her. At the very least let her down easy—”
“Shion,” Rindou started, eyes focused on the tv screen. “You sound so whiny right now. Either sit down and shut the fuck up, or get out. You’re ruining my focus and so help me God if I lose to Ran tonight I’ll break every rib in your body.”
“Calm down Rinnie, save that anger and take it up with your therapist.”
Rindou groaned loudly, letting his head roll back against the couch. “I already told you Ran, I’m not seeing a therapist.”
Shion hummed in disagreement. “I think you should. You’ve just about threatened to break every bone in my body this week alone.” Ran snorted and Shion whipped his head to look at him. “Don’t think I’m finished with you yet. I was against this whole relationship with her in the first place, so just apologise to her and let her down easy.”
“Why?” Rindou asked, putting his controller down on his lap to look up at Shion.
His eyebrows pinched in confusion. “Why…what?”
“Why were you against the relationship?”
“B—because,” Shion cursed himself for stammering, also cursed the way Ran raised his eyebrows, probably the first shred of interest he’s shown in the conversation.
“Because you love her?” Rindou asked, not looking away from the tv but was far too aware of the way Shion froze in place. Seconds passed as the two brothers waited for a response.
“Because she’s my friend…” Shion started slowly, hoping the message goes through their heads.
“So?”
“And I don’t want her to get hurt by him.”
“Who said I’d hurt her?” Ran asked, intrigued.
“Your track record of dating speaks otherwise, Ran.” Ran smirked and Shion scowled deeper, crossing his arms over his chest. “That’s not something to be proud of.”
“You only say that because you’re a virgin.”
“I’m not.”
“Yeah, sure whatever.” Ran turned back to the tv and nudged Rindou. “Ready?”
The game started and if their attention spans were already shit before, it was worse now.
“Ran. Just promise me you’ll end things with her nicely…Last thing I want is her calling me up crying again.”
“Yeah yeah, you got it,” Ran responded with a crooked smile.
It was probably the most non-committal answer Shion ever heard, if he was honest, but was probably the only answer he was gonna get so with that, he left the house. After winning the next three rounds of Mario Kart, Rindou ended up rage quitting and stalking off to the gym with Kakucho to take his anger out on some punching bags. Meanwhile Ran stalked up to his room, taking his daily nap. He woke around 11pm, almost hitting midnight and pulled out his phone.
He scrolled past all his messages until he saw yours, all unopened, and felt his heart twitch with guilt for a second as the number of messages over the course of the week started to decrease once you realised he was ignoring you.
He glanced over at the clock once more. You had a tendency of sleeping through the day, awake at night, so taking his chances, he sent you a text.
Your phone pinged as you were washing the dishes, scrubbing the leftover stains from your mother’s wine glasses, a result of her addiction. Rinsing the soap from your hands, you dried them with a paper towel and grabbed your phone, almost freezing when you saw the contact name.
New Message: Ran (¬_¬ )
You up?
You almost got excited, a smile twitching on your face until you remembered the week of radio silence and the barrage of confusing emotions you felt. You should hate him. In fact right now your fingers should be moving to delete his contact, but instead they hover over his text message on your lock-screen. Grumbling, you deleted yet another poorly formed response and called him instead. “What do you want?”
“Easy with the hostility. I wanted to check on you.”
“Oh really? Where was this energy, I dunno. A fucking week ago?!” you barked, leaving the dishes half washed as you stomped up to your room.
“Missed you.”
You blinked at your screen and nearly forgot how to breathe, too blinded with rage. “Are—are you fuckingkidding me?” you rushed out, dumfounded.
“Yeah, I know I fucked up badly,” he sighed on the end of the line and you moved to sit on your bed, face softening a bit with how tired he sounded.
“Is everything okay?”
“Can I see you?” He ignored your question and got straight to business. You had half a mind to turn him down until he said, “Please?”
You were so weak minded, crumbling the second you heard him beg for you. Perhaps it was an ego trip, having someone like Haitani Ran want you that badly. The next thing you knew, your back was arching as Ran’s hands trailed down your body. Pulling his face from your neck, you blindly searched for his mouth, biting his lower lip as he groaned, settling on top of you.
Your arms looped themselves around his neck, moaning in soft pants as his fingers drained downwards, dancing lightly down the line of your stomach and tugged your shorts off your body. The moment they were off, he spread open your legs and pulled away from the kiss.
You sighed happily when his lips trailed down your body, searing burning kisses on your skin. Closing your eyes helped to heighten the senses, guessing where you’d feel his lips next. Your breathing picked up pace as his hands brushed your bare thighs and it took everything in you to resist grinding against his hand as he explored every inch of your body.
The tips of his fingers slipped under your panties, drawing closer to your throbbing clit. He teased your wet slit, circling your finger around your hole, spreading your juices all over your pussy with a low groan. “You’re so fucking wet.”
Your moan hitched in your throat and you bit down to silence it. Not liking that, he looked up at you. “Lemme hear you,” he dipped his finger in slowly, watching your mouth fall open in please, “c’mon, louder.”
“Please,” you moaned, begging him to continue playing with you. “I need it, please. You owe me.”
“I owe you, huh?” He gave you a mischievous grin, inching closer to your face as he pushed more slick from your thighs into your fluttering hole. He was so achingly close you could see every single lash lining his eyes, his lips just barely hovering over yours.
His fingers sped up, twisting his fingers and using his thumb to rub at your swollen clit with precision that felt torturous. It was getting harder to control your moans, uncaring of how loud you were getting as you rocked against his hand, pussy on fire.
“Fucking love your body,” he sounded drunk, burying his face between your breasts. His tongue flicked against your nipple before sucking down, your back arching off the sheets.
“I—I’m still mad at you,” you cursed under your breath, the indignation in your voice wavering, turning to breathless moans as he continued fucking you open with his fingers.
He left your chest, kissing up to your lips to suck the anger and frustration away and replaced it with lust. “I’m sorry baby,” he hummed, biting your lower lip. “You forgive me?”
“No,” you tried sounding serious but your face screwed up as he sped up his fingers. He licked his lips before kissing you again, trying to change your mind but you pulled away with a frown. “Y—you can’t just expect me to forgive you that easily.”
He mulled it over for a moment, glancing at your face as you breathed heavily, trying your hardest to fix your face into a convincing scowl. His fingers pulled out and you were about to protest before he shushed you. “I’m going to fuck you till you forgive me.”
Your face twisted in confusion as he started unbuckling his pants. “W—wait. You can’t just—” you paused, eyes dropping down to his cock hard in his hand.
“Can’t what?” He pulled out a condom from his pocket and you deadpanned at him.
“Seriously? You just have those laying around?”
He smiled, laughing a little. “What? Gotta come prepared.” His hands moved to your legs, spreading you open and eyed your aching pussy, slick covering your inner thighs and bit back a groan. You watched him rip the condom open and thought how that small thing could fit over the length of his cock. It easily slipped down his shaft, stretching obscenely around the width of his shaft.
When he’s wrapped and ready, he grabbed onto your legs, yelping as he tugged you closer and caged you with his arms. You both watched his cock press against your inner thigh, missing your pussy a couple times before sliding in, a soft sigh and groan escaping both of your lips.
Your eyes fluttered shut, biting your lip as your head fell backwards against the pillow.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned wantonly, looking away from the sinful sight of his cock slowly disappearing inside you to look at your face. Your mouth was open in pleasure and he snagged the opportunity, kissing you senselessly.
“Faster.”
He obliged, dipping his face into your neck, breaths puffing out against your skin as you cried out, nails digging into the blades of his shoulder, then onto his biceps, clutching desperately as your body began to jolt. “Jesus, Ran…!” He hit a spot that nearly had you screaming, his mouth quickly sealing against yours to silence you before your mother woke up.
He was practically slamming into you at this point, pounding your body into the mattress and you could do nothing but whimper into his mouth and scratch deep red lines down the length of his arms. A hazy part of your mind thankful he was doing his best to silence you because the volume of your voice was far beyond your control at this point.
“You forgive me yet,” he asked, pulling away when you tried to surge upwards for another kiss.
You shook your head, keening when he gave another wicked slam of his hips that had you biting back your words.
“Wrong answer.” Abruptly, he pulled out and flipped you over, rearranging your wobbly limbs until you were on all fours. He bent forward until his lips brushed your ears and the heat of his body made you inch backwards, desperate for even a crumb of his touch. He clicked his tongue and grabbed onto your hips, holding you in place as you cursed under your breath. “You forgive me yet?”
“Ran. Stop asking questions and fuck me,” you swore, testing how strong his grip was by attempting to wriggle your hips backwards.
“Answer my question then I’ll fuck you right.”
You groaned into the pillow in protest, fighting back tears as you felt your pussy get wetter, fluttering around nothing. “But I don’t forgive you.”
“Then we’ll wait until you do.”
Your clit throbbed again and you moaned when he nudged your legs apart, licking a stripe along your cunt. “Oh god, Ran.” His hum sent a vibration shooting through his tongue flicking at your entrance, kissing around your folds and the way his lips sealed around your clit had your stubbornness flying out the window.
“Oh.” You steadily rocked back against his face, and he eagerly buried his face into your pussy, the taste of you making his dick twitch between his legs. Your head dropped down, back arching and he held you up by the hips, keeping your ass in the air as he continued to indulge. “P—please Ran. I…I forgive you just fuck me please.”
Ran swiftly sat up, pressing one last kiss to your wet folds before lining his cock up to your entrance. “About fucking time.” His body was tense as he buried his cock back inside you with a groan. You bit down on the pillow, ignoring the wet spot you left behind as his big hand pulled you back down onto his cock, squeezing and grabbing at your ass. You barely had time to catch your breath as his hips snapped ruthlessly back and forth, shoving his cock deeper inside you with every thrust. Your legs gave out, back arching impossibly deeper as you were unable to hold yourself up. This new angle was downright sinful, had you feeling every vein of his cock rubbing against your walls, hands scrabbling uselessly at the sheets.
“Oh fuck I’m close,” he announced with a low groan, your stomach doing flips when you heard how shaky his breathing was. He pulled out, ripped the condom off and flipped you onto your back in record time, cumming on your stomach.
While you were catching your breath, he bent down between your legs and licked along your pussy, teasing and sucking until you were coming undone, soaking the fingers he’d slid inside you.
Once your chest had stopped heaving, he pulled away, licking your taste from his lips. Your body was still shaking from the aftermath of the overstimulation, your arms eagerly wrapping around his body as he laid beside you, lifting you onto his chest and kissed your forehead.
“I don’t actually forgive you by the way,” you added after a moment of silence. “I just said that so you’d fuck me.”
Ran snorted and looked down at you. “That so?” It tickled when your fingers ran down his chest, tracing the swirls of his tattoo.
“Mhm.” You chewed the soft tissue of your cheek, waiting for his response.
He pulled you up to reposition you on his lap as you laid your hands flat in his chest. “I know you don’t mean that.” He ran his hands down your hips and caressed them softly.
“I do,” you frowned.
He sat up slowly and you clung onto his shoulders to avoid slipping. He reached over and grabbed your phone, handing it to you. “Delete my number right now if you do.”
You looked down at your phone then back at his face. “Are you serious?”
He shrugged and nodded at the device. “Go on.”
As you contemplated whether or not this was a trap, he reattached his lips onto your neck, sucking and biting the skin, adding to the litany of marks he left previously. He was obviously doing this to cloud your judgement, and it was working. Your finger hovered over the delete contact button before you sighed, tossing the phone back onto the bed.
“I fucking knew it.” You could practically feel his devilish smile against your neck. You yanked his head from your neck, revealing the smile you pictured wide on his face.
“Shut up,” you said while frowning. He leaned forward, sucking deeply along your lips, eliciting a soft sigh from you as you melted into it.
“What’re you doing for your birthday,” he asked, pulling away for a moment. “It’s next week, right?”
“Um, not much. My friends wanted to throw me a party then Shion said he wanted to take me out afterwards.”
Ran scowled. “Do you like him?” he asked softly, rubbing soothing circles into your hip.
“Who? Shion?” You readjusted yourself on his lap to get a better look at his face. He nodded. “No. No, I don’t. He’s my friend. I don’t see him as anything else.”
There was nothing going on between you and Shion. Being with Shion felt weird and you never thought of him that way. Besides, when you grew up with him, you saw the worst of him, from the time he shaved a circle in the middle of his head as a dare to those snot nosed crying nights when he’d throw a tantrum you couldn’t stay the night. You thought your words were enough to reassure him but Ran still looked unconvinced. Your brain fought to think of something to say but when you fell short, you resulted in pushing your chest up against him, cupping his face in your hands and leaned forward to brush your nose against his.
“I promise, Ran. In fact…you’re the only one I have eyes for right now.” There it was. The inevitable confession. As your worried eyes searched his face for a response, he stayed silent. Your body warmed as his hands hugged tighter around your body and you took that, leaning in slowly and kissed him gently, slowly, until you could feel any doubts he had leaving his body. He kissed you back, tightening his grip on your sides possessively.
“Lemme take you out,” he broke away to speak. “The day after your birthday since your special day is all booked.”
“Yeah?” You smiled and nuzzled your nose against his. “And do what?”
“Whatever you want.” His hands rubbed up and down your naked back, making you feel warm and fuzzy. “Anything.”
You rested your head against his neck and hummed in thought, sending a vibration down his body. “Hmmm, I’ll think about it.” Your arms wrapped around his neck and for a moment he fought the urge to cuddle with you in bed. Being around you was so difficult, especially when he tried to not get attached to you, despising the idea of being soft.
He unhooked your arms from his neck and you pulled away with a confused look on your face. “Is everything okay?” He looked distressed about something and you couldn’t stop the ugly feeling in your stomach from churning.
“I gotta go, it’s late,” he told you, sliding out of bed to scoop his clothes up.
“I mean…you can just sleep over?” You looked at him get changed, trying to hide your frown once he finished. The pout in your voice made a wave of guilt run through his body. He tucked your body under the covers as your bottom lip jutted out in protest of him leaving.
He kissed your forehead. “I’ll text you next week. I promise.”
Present day, 2015
Rindou slammed the car door shut, startling Dona from the backseat. “Jesus, man. What the hell is up with you?”
Rindou grumbled something under his breath and started the car, impatiently drumming his fingers against the wheel as Ran took his time inside the house fixing his suit.
“Hello? Why’re you ignoring me?” Dona waved her hand in his face. “He’s in there right? Or do we have to drive around the whole city tryna find him?”
“Oh he’s in there alright,” Rindou rasped, rubbing his temples.
“You gonna update me on what happened or just sulk in the front seat like a baby.”
He leaned back in his chair and then turned to look at Dona. “If I tell you, you’d get mad.”
Dona’s eyes narrowed. “Why would I be mad?” Rindou stayed quiet, and her patience only grew thinner. “Rindou I will hit you if you don’t spit it out.”
“(Name)’s back.”
~*~
“Wait Ran.” You slipped off the bed, walking to the door before he could leave his room. “What was with Rindou’s reaction before?”
“Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you. He hates you.”
“I can see that,” you sighed, looking down at the floor for a couple moments before looking back at him. “What did you tell him?”
“Nothing really.” Ran shrugged. “Just told him we broke up.”
“That’s all? I don’t see why he’d hate me for that.” You frowned, fighting back a pout as you crossed your arms over your chest. “It’s not like I broke up with him.”
“You know how he gets.” Ran looked at the way you chewed your lip nervously, a habit you always did when you were overthinking. “Come here,” he said, beckoning you closer. You followed suit, slipping between his arms and he pulled you in for a hug. He rested his chin against the top of your head as your arms snaked around his waist. “Stop overthinking stuff. Rin doesn’t hate you. He hates what you did.”
“What did I do though?” you asked quietly, tilting your head to look up at him.
“You left without an explanation.”
“There was an explanation,” you defended yourself. “You know there was.”
“Exactly. I know. He didn’t.”
“Why didn’t you tell him then?” you groaned, looking curiously up at him. “I broke up with you, not him. I have no issues with Rindou.”
“It wasn’t his business,” he responded, the circles he was tracing on your back with his thumbs made you feel dizzy. “And I avoided talking about you. And he thought he’d get answers from you since I wasn’t telling him, then found out you left. So he was mad.”
A slight feeling of guilt pooled low in your stomach as you lowered your head to look at the ground. Reluctantly, you let go of the hug and stepped away from him. “I think you should go to that meeting now. I’ve been hogging too much of your time.”
“Alright baby.” He shrugged his jacket back on and opened the door. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“Okay,” you muttered, moving back onto the bed as you watched him leave the room. The second the door shut, you moved to grab your bag and pulled out your phone. You weren’t expecting to see six missed calls from Shion, each call an hour apart, and another feeling of guilt passed through you. “I’m a piece of shit,” you muttered, hitting your forehead with the edge of your phone before turning it back off.
Shion was tomorrow’s problem. You could figure out what to say to him.
~*~
Meanwhile, back in the car, Dona shrieked. “What?! Why?!”
“How the fuck am I supposed to answer that?” Rindou grumbled in response as Ran entered the car door with a hefty sigh.
“Drive already.” He lazily gestured around the wheel with his hands.
“Uh excuse me? You don’t get to boss us around when you’re thirty minutes late to the meeting.” Dona said with a frown, her nose twitching when Ran just laughed under his breath. “Not even a little bit remorseful? Mikey is pissed.”
“Name a day of the week he's not pissed,” Ran responded, looking back at Dona who laughed, mumbling that’s true.
~*~
"Look who finally decided to show up," Sanzu sneered as Ran entered the room.
"What, you missed my presence that bad?" Ran responded as he settled himself into the couch beside Kokonoi. Sanzu rolled his eyes, making Ran's grin grow wider.
"Finally," Mikey sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Is this important or what? Because if it's about my club's sales, then you could've just emailed that shit to me," Ran said in annoyance.
Mikey nodded, clearing his throat before sitting down in his chair. "It's about Naoto."
"Who the fuck is Naoto?" Takeomi said, raising an eyebrow.
"Take a fucking guess," Mikey said sharply, causing everyone in the room to fall silent, except for Ran who yawned loudly.
"What did he do?"
"He's onto us again." Mikey pointed at Mochi. "You told me you had it handled. What's the fucking hold up?"
Mochi shrugged. "I did have it handled. He was off our back for weeks, no?"
"Weeks isn't shit," Sanzu retorted. "Can't we just kill him? He's like a scab. The more you pick at it, the more it bleeds."
"Sanzu, what the hell are you talking about?" Rindou grumbled from his seat, picking at the tips of the strands of hair falling over his face.
"I'm sayinggggg," Sanzu continued, "instead of burying information to get him off our tracks, we just bury him instead."
Mikey shook his head. "No. Bad idea."
"Why?!"
"Because," Mikey responded, saying no more. The group of men stared at him expectantly. When silence descended upon the room once more, Kakucho spoke up.
"Is this about Takemichi and all of them?"
Mikey slid his eyes over to Kakucho. "What?"
"You're hesitating on hurting Naoto because he's friends with Draken and Takemichi and all of them, no? If it were any other cop, you would've just killed them already. But we've been running around in circles with Naoto for almost a year now and nothings changed. I agree with Sanzu. We should just kill him."
"I said no," Mikey responded, harsher than before, effectively shutting Kakucho up. "If you have anything to say then say it."
"Nothing else, sir."
"Good." Mikey turned back over to look at Ran. "Naoto is onto you the most." When Ran raised an eyebrow, Mikey continued. "He found out one of the clubs you own and is getting his men to go undercover at your clubs, snooping around for shady business. Just wanted to tell you to watch out."
"He's not gonna find anything." Ran responded calmly, kicking his feet onto the table with a thud, ignoring Mikey's complaint to get his feet off the table. "He's an idiot if he thinks I'd do my business in broad daylight."
"Well regardless how confident you are, just watch out. If he finds anything, it won't take long before he finds other things."
"You got it." Ran pushed his chair back and stood up, stretching. "That all?"
Mikey nodded. By the time Ran made it back home, you were fast asleep on his bed, phone unlocked in your hand. He grabbed your phone and slid his finger across the screen, pausing briefly at your message history. Your phone was practically empty. It was sad to look at. You stirred in your sleep, taking notice of his presence. "Hey," you murmured sleepily, peeking a single eye open.
"Hey sleepyhead." He paused, putting your phone back down. "Go back to sleep."
"But I want to talk to you."
"About what?" He sat on the bed, watching you closely. "Haven't you been talking enough today? You need sleep."
"I don't," you grumbled, curling up against his arm. "I need to talk to Shion," you murmured, half asleep.
"Why do you wanna talk to Shion?" He questioned, sounding more confused than anything.
"Because I blew him off," you spoke without thinking, yawning with each passing word. "He's probably angry at me. Maybe I'll make him feel better by apologising."
"You blew him off? How so?"
"I'm such an asshole," you moaned softly, slouching further into his side. He ran his hand down your back in a soothing motion. "I haven't called or texted him yet. I just...walked out without saying anything. That must've hurt him. I can't believe I did that."
"Yeah, well..." He trailed off, patting the top of your head, not knowing what else to say. "To be honest, I have no clue what you're talking about right now. It's cute you still talk in your sleep though."
You sighed deeply, closing your eyes again, mumbling something incoherent under your breath and drifted back to sleep.
Why do you think Max f protect Lando like his children? Do you think he does it because he saw how Lando struggled in f1 and couldn't just stand there and watch?? 🤔
oh anon idk how much Lando/Max F lore you know but Max has been Lando's protector from day one. Lando was teeeeeny tiny for his age up until like 19?? so Max was bigger than him up until around then. I'm still learning a lot about them as I go but Max's protective instincts toward Lando run extremely deep. it's why I can't decide if they're more common law husbands, platonic soulmates or each other's weird gamer racing gremlin guardian angels.
I think for me one of the biggest standouts for me about their bond is how much Lando wanted to look after Max when Max left racing for good. because when you read about Max's particular struggles, it's like hearing Lando all over again:
Getting bad results each weekend was just having more of a knock-on effect on my mental health. Normally, I’d say that’s one of my strengths through a championship. That’s how I’ve been able to win titles, I’m able to stay calm under pressure and I don’t let many things get to me but when you have a bad qualifying result and you see guys up there that you know you’re capable of beating, it definitely takes a dig at you inside and it’s been a lot to process throughout the year.
--
As soon as more thoughts come into your head, it gets worse, then you start panicking, over-driving, and it all goes wrong. I think a lot of the pressure is in your head, but it does get to a point where it just all piles on you. [source]
it's got to mean the world to have a best mate who can completely and openly identify with exactly what you're feeling - esp since they're each now looking at racing from the inside and the outside.
what I find interesting is that Max was just as much of a hyper competitive kid as everyone who came up through that system and from what I can tell he performed strongly enough to easily assume he could make F1 (but he doesn't seem to have assumed that) so him taking to this tiny kid with all these little quirks who was absolutely dusting boys older than him, idk that's just something special about Max. he comes across as kind of gruff or misanthropic at first but he's extremely emotionally intelligent and self-aware - he's always the one to open up and be vulnerable to Lando and unlike Lando he doesn't squirm or make jokes when things get serious. it sounds like I know the guy super well which obv I don't but idk, it just feels like Max is an easygoing but also extremely loyal guy - especially with Lando.
anyway I'm not enough of an authority on nortrell and if anyone wants to add to this please do <3 but yea
side note I always love how in this video we get a sort of funny confirmation that Max approves of Oscar as temporary guardian of Lando. but then I get a little emotional and serious about that bc Lando has cited precisely Oscar's ability to stay calm and not let things pile on top of him as something he's reminded to do for himself. and that Oscar quickly observed Lando and after only a couple months (or maybe even just a month) as his teammate realized that patience and loyalty are what make Lando feel the most relaxed and comfortable with someone. he's adorable and fun w the friends who make him laugh all the time and swat him down when he gives them attitude. but as a self-described shy kid who's also hyperactive, you can see the difference between Lando alone with Max and Lando with other friends. and well, Oscar spent years before his McLaren contract watching that dynamic so. makes sense he'd get the nod of approval from Lando's closest friend <3
“i cannot believe you, jack rowden!” you screamed as you burst into the house, soaked from the rain.
jack immediately stood up from the couch and look at you with wide eyes, realizing what he’d done.
“sissy, i’m-“
“don’t ‘sissy’ me! you forgot me, jack! all you had to do was wait half an hour for me to give my presentation after school so you could take me home! i stood outside for ten minutes, calling you over and over again! then i had to walk home in the rain! because you couldn’t wait less than an hour to play video games with alex?!”
“y/n, i’m sorry, if i knew jack-“
“stay out of this, alex,” you snapped. alex retreated into himself and awkwardly walked upstairs.
“i forgot, y/n! i am so sorry, but you didn’t remind me! i’ve been stressed out, you know this!” jack badly defended himself.
“you forgot,” you scoffed. you felt the familiar panic well up in your chest. he forgot you. he forgot about you. “you- you forgot me. and i had to walk home from school in the rain. i never thought i’d have to do that again.”
the look of regret that came across jack’s face almost broke you. but you were in tears, and near a panic attack.
he forgot you. he made you walk home in the rain. it was almost funny how you ended up going to the hughes house afterwards.
“sissy,” jack stepped towards you carefully. he winced when you stepped back. “i didn’t forget you like that. not like your parents did. you are so important to me and i love you so much, you know that!”
you were trembling against the wall, trying to hold it together. you slid down it and put your hands in your hair when you realized that wouldn’t be happening. jack carefully got down to your level and hovered his hands over yours. you were hyperventilating, your ears were ringing, and it felt like your skull was about to fall through your body.
“i’ll send alex home, unless you want him. we’re gonna cuddle on the couch and i’ll go pick up chick-fil-a and get you a milkshake. you can stay with alex, or alone, or come with. whatever you want. i forgot to pick you up, but i did not forget you. i love you too much for that,” jack said. he got your hands out of your hair and got you to look at him. “breathe with me, sissy.”
jack guided you through some deep breathes to help calm you down. when your breathing became steady, he slid behind you and pulled you into his lap.
“i’m so sorry, sissy,” jack whispered. “i’ll put your phone calls on emergency by pass, how about that? that way i’ll always hear your call.”
“okay,” you whispered back. “i’ll do it, too.”
“good,” jack smiled. “that way we’ll always be there for each other. i promise.”
you leaned your head against his shoulder, “thank you. i love you, jacky.”
tl;dr: I SHIFTED. I actually shifted!! It wasn’t to any of my dr’s but I fully actually shifted and grounded myself into a completely different reality while fully aware of the fact that I had shifted! ahahgahahah!!!
* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ
Howdy everyone!! It’s been a while since I’ve posted, and truth be told it’s because I haven’t had any reasons to post recently. However, that all changed the other night when I had an out of body experience and shifted twice in a row (albeit neither time to a reality I was hoping for)!!
It all started when I was sleeping. As per usual, I fell asleep with my intention to shift while listening to some subliminals (I believe it was one of Kween Subs videos on YouTube). There was nothing in particular that caused me to shift tbh, I’d had a normal day and wasn’t really expecting much of a result since I didn’t do or feel anything out of the ordinary before going to bed. I just fell asleep while breathing deeply, trying to keep my brain awake while my body fell asleep until I seemingly fell asleep.
So, I become aware of myself and I feel like I’m floating in bed. I felt purely made of energy, it was honestly kind of exhilarating, and so I decided to try astral projecting. It was weird because I’m not sure if I astral projected into a lucid dream, or if I had been lucid dreaming about astral projecting. Either way, I set my intention and told myself I was going to shift.
I started chanting “I have shifted. I am in my desired reality” over and over to myself while shutting my eyes hovering in the middle of my room. I felt like everything disappeared almost like water going down the drain, and in a sudden rush I felt myself getting pulled down myself as if I’d been vacuumed into the void. I just remember breathing deeply and doing my best to stay calm as I kept chanting my affirmations over and over until finally everything stopped.
When I woke up, it felt as though I’d woken up from a full nights sleep. I didn’t fully register that my surroundings were different yet, but I was in a lovely wooden apartment with white sheets and white curtains. It was kind of hazy for the first hour or so, but I remember feeling calm and tranquil like I was on a vacation or something. I remember getting up and making the bed, changing into some white flowy clothes, slipping into sandals, and walking downstairs. Honestly I still thought I was dreaming, but as I got ready I started grounding myself and I distinctly remember every touch and feel of every texture I came across that day.
At this point I’m shaking because omg, I actually shifted??? This is a real place?? I’m so scared because where tf am I??? So I run outside and I start walking down this beautiful cobblestone street and find myself going into what I’m going to describe as a beautiful farmers market that stretched far down a path that lead to the beach in the far distance, while behind the far side of the stands looked like a giant green field that was probably a park. I walked around for a bit just kind of exploring and chatting with some locals, eventually finding out that I was near a beach in Australia.
I cannot emphasize enough that I have never in my life even been close to attempting to fly anywhere near Australia. I don’t have family there, I don’t have friends there, I’ve never really had a strong wish to visit there either (no shade to any aussies!!! australia is lovely, it’s just not one of those special places in my heart </3), so I was flabbergasted on how the hell I ended up there in the first place.
Eventually I remember taking a seat on the beach near some shade and just feeling the sand in my toes for some time. I just basked, honestly, like I just basked in the fact that I’d shifted and yeah maybe it wasn’t where I was trying to go, but damn it if this wasn’t still the most relaxing and freeing experience I’ve ever lived. So, I just sat on the beach and started to affirm to myself that I was in my dr with no real rush. It was so peaceful hearing the ocean waves while being all warm in the sand, I almost immediately felt myself astral projecting again.
I looked down at myself on the beach and I realized I was astral projecting or something, and it was so strange because I remember my dr self looked at me briefly (or at least in my direction) because I felt myself floating up into the sky at an incredibly fast pace. Before I knew it I felt like I was being passed through a vacuum cleaner and I went through the most dizzying journey, but eventually I found myself in a room that looked pretty close to my cr.
I didn’t realize until after that the room I saw before falling asleep again was definitely not my cr room. It was real though, because the first thing I did was feel around for textures and ground myself into that reality. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t dreaming (and I wasn’t), but it looked just similar enough to my cr room in the dark that I automatically assumed I’d returned </3
I did still try affirming and managed to get back into the void state because I wanted to try one last time to shift to my actual dr, but I honestly think I was too tired because I woke up in my cr the next morning and I’ve been waking up here ever since.
* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ
So yeah! That was my first experience shifting :) literally crazy and so unexpected, but I cannot stress enough how freeing and peaceful it is to shift and actually feel that it’s real. You’re real. Your desired reality is real. It’s all so real and it’s all going to be okay because 3+ years at this point and that’s the first time I shifted but god I’d do it all again from scratch if I had to for me to feel that free one more time!!!
I know I’ll shift again and this time I’ll live the reality I’ve always dreamed. That is a promise <3
- This might be short and I’m so sorry! It’s probably so bad and I’m really sorry! But I’d been in a hurry to update you guys. I had a lot going on with my apartment and stuff but I’m now present and hopefully this will get you through!
- Angst to Fluff
- Summary: Even if the relationship didn’t last, biting down on the tongue hurt. So, with a bit of awkwardness, hurt feelings, and the push from your sister, it was time to confess with the unspoken words. Wanting to fix it all.
If someone had ever approached you, told you that you wouldn’t last with Berlin, it would’ve made you give out the biggest laugh of your life. Not you and Berlin. The couple that did almost everything together, the couple that showed up in videos, the girlfriend that always did photo shoots for the merchandise. The supportive girl and her protective boyfriend who cuddled her at night, assured her everything would be okay. It felt unreal. But it was the reality, and it hurt thinking about the way it would be the truth, even if you didn’t want to accept the reality. Every bit of what someone would say, was true.
It was rough remembering the split from Berlin, Krysta remembered seeing your tears. She felt for you, her intentions to introduce you was to never watch you two fall apart, it was to never watch you both get hurt. And sometimes it took you to assure when she apologized a thousand times that it wasn’t her doing and she shouldn’t take the blame for the miscommunication that both of you had. Having to give her a talk about how it was your relationship and not her responsibility to worry about something she had no ill intentions for. She remembered showing Berlin a photo of you, which turned into him being genuinely attracted, which became the desire to meet. And when it happened, you wanted nothing more than to be together from there.
It was like any other day, today work called in early, as much as you despised opening, you still preferred to secure your job and money. Not wanting to go without, so you’d stick around for a few hours of your shift. Which is what you did, and now after the dreading hours of trying to keep calm and not explode on the rude customers you had for the day, it was time to sink into the comfort of your home. “Oh you’re home from work!” Krysta smiled. “Girl please. It was the worst. I hated it! Some girl came in yelling at me and it didn’t help that I couldn’t hit her! She stood there and complained for an hour before she was told to leave. I couldn’t reason with her.” You scoffed at the thought of the lady from earlier. This caused your sister to let out a laugh as she shakes her head slightly. “Well. Y/n. You can’t fight customers. Sadly. So I’m glad you didn’t hit her.” She hums. Yeah, glad. You were happy you didn’t either, you were still upset, hurt. And had anger from your break up.
These feelings didn’t go by easily, even your sister could sense they were still there. She knew, and deep down she wanted to make sure you’d always be okay no matter what. Even if it felt like your three-year relationship was really a waste of memories. “Look. Y/n, if you want us to stop being friends. We can. I won’t hang out with him…” she said. At least you knew she always had your back, but you had no reason to make your sister stop her friendship. Mainly because it was never her fault in the first place. "No, Krysta. I'm not going to make you stop your friendship with him. It's not your fault that things between us ended." you assured. She still felt bad, she hated seeing you so down, knowing you still love him, even though you made it obvious based on your reactions upon hearing his name. "Besides that. Would you like to go out and eat tonight?" she asked. A small smile had formed on your lips. "Sure, later tonight we can go. I need to get out of these damn clothes," you said as you smiled at her. She always knew a way to cheer you up.
The sounds of people chattering filled the room, but it wasn't so bad after all. Being able to sit at the table and eat with your sister, share a laugh, and have some drinks, which drinking has never fully been your best suit. You remember the time Berlin damn near exploded upon hearing that you walked home drunk late at night. But, once again, he was there. Because he made sure he would find you and get you home and well taken care of. Krysta couldn't scold you though since she would be sober if you did get drunk.
"This ended up being better than I thought." you giggled lightly with the small tint on your face. "I did dread work today, so this makes up for the work I've been doing, which sucked because my manager never has my back," you mumbled under your breath. The waiter walked over and he smiled. "Everything going good?" he asked as you two hummed. "Can I get another one of these?" you pointed to the glass. Krysta kept her eyes on the man, making sure he wouldn't say or try anything. "Of course." he smiled, taking the cup before walking away. Sighing, you glanced at your sister. "You don't have to stare him down so hard," you replied as she rolled her eyes in annoyance. "It's my job to look out for you when you drink a lot. Guys are creeps. Y/n. You need some form of security." she stated.
Upon hearing those words, you thought of him, the times Berlin had assured you and made you feel safe despite the setting you two would always be in. It felt like hell now without him, would you being careless be enough? would it regain his attention so he would stop being stubborn?. Maybe he would hear you out but the desire of his attention was too much. He would never hear you out, let it go. "Has Berlin always...be strong-minded?" you asked. The question was sudden but Krysta cleared her throat. "What do you mean?" she asked as you sighed. "Sometimes I wonder if his strong mind is what makes him feel like he doesn't have to hear me." you frowned as she did too. "What? That's nonsense, Berlin would hear you out." she hums.
The doubt sank in. "No. Because he doesn't love me."
Then the tears welled up. "He never did."
Why couldn't you forget him? "I mean why?"
All you wanted was for him to listen. "He broke up with me."
And were you to blame? "He told me it was my doing.."
Would he ever listen? "He wouldn't even stop for a second."
Did he still think of you? "Maybe he's moved on."
Krysta hated this, watching as you crumble and wonder if you were really in the wrong. But she didn’t have time to comfort because ole and behold, Berlin was there. She couldn’t help but clear her throat as she had grabbed your hands. “Y/n that’s not the case. Berlin loves you.” She said. “He didn’t even take the time to listen to me, he just assumed I was cheating, and that shit hurt.” You huffed. Your sister could only shake her head, why couldn’t you two just make up? That’s all she wanted. “I don’t want him to think the worst. But he’s not even willing to hear my half of the story. So the reality is that we won’t ever piece our relationship back together.”
Berlin was always hyping you up and when he let you go out with the girls. You recalled getting dressed cute, makeup going, hair going. You felt good about yourself, even coming to the time he told you how good you looked. And the idea of that night when you kissed his lips and told him sweet words before you left, you always put Berlin before them and didn’t mind staying home to watch movies with him on some days you didn’t wanna be bothered with the outside world. He was always so sweet and willing to do everything for you as you were him, but your heart always aches when you recall the ending, the moment he accused you of cheating.
How could he? His y/n was no cheater but he just had to assume you were cheating because you hung out with a guy friend. Did Berlin have no recollect concept that your friend wasn’t into women to begin with? He was so damn cruel that night. Assuming that guy was taking you home, calling you a cheater in front of all those people and some actually believing him. Krysta never once accused you or believed you were, the simple fact and thing was that he was a ticking temper bomb. And at any moment anything could trigger him to react to situations, even if it wasn’t that serious to need a reaction of his. And you remembered the nights Krysta had to lay awake with you. Comforting you through that heartbreak and false accusation of his, going far as to listen to you cry for hours, cry yourself to sleep. She had no words, only comfort by listening and you were forever thankful your sister would listen to you that long, putting her sleep schedule behind for you.
“Y/n. He thought you were cheating…that’s why you need to talk to him. You can’t keep letting the idea of him break you like this. I know somewhere deep down you wanna be with him” she frowned as she shakes her head. “But you can’t if you can’t speak to him, if you don’t. He’ll go his whole life thinking you wanted anyone but him.” She hums softly. Somewhere deep down, you knew Krysta was right. Even if you never ended up with Berlin again, she was right about clearing the air with him after the accusations. “Look. I’m gonna go use the restroom. Berlin’s here…” she mumbled before getting up to use the restroom. Somewhere in you, you couldn’t help but keep your head down as the guy brought the drink before walking away. Fighting the urge to turn around and glance at him, you missed him so bad, you wanted to look back at Berlin so bad.
But it seems, you didn’t have to glance to know he walked over to you. “So you’re out again.” He said as you look at him with a hint of curiosity before humming. “I came out to eat with Krysta.” You spoke, grabbing the drink to take a sip. “Are you sure that’s the cause?” He asked. Dear God no, there he goes giving attitude, that tone of being right, digging under your skin. And in this state of mind? You couldn’t help but grip the glass tighter. “Don’t accuse me of looking for a boyfriend.” Your tone now giving him the same attitude back. “Oh I thought you were very happy in that relationship of yours.”. And the sarcasm dripped off his tongue, how could he be just so, annoying with it.
Krysta watched in fear of what might come next. “You know. You don’t know anything about that night because you refused to listen. So is it really my fault that you remained stuck up and felt right? You thought I wanted to cheat on you?. Please Berlin, where’s the proof? Where is it besides the accusations your mind made because you’re mentally missing a screw to your brain?” You spat harshly as your voice held venom in it, desiring nothing than to prove his ass wrong for once. “Since you came here to put me on the spot. Let’s talk about you.” You huffed as you stood up, looking up at Berlin in annoyance. “How about the times you went clubbing with the guys and you had girls all upon you? Is it justified because you’re the man? Because it’s just, guy things? Please Berlin, educate me. Oh wait. You can’t because you don’t know shit from that night. Now bite your tongue. And walk away.”. You downed the drink, slamming the glass down before grabbing your bag and walking out the door. Krysta had quickly rushed to pay so she could see you, speak to you about this, but Berlin beat her to it when she noticed he was following you out to the car. Could you two get anymore worse?.
Berlin had grabbed your arm, stopping you from walking. “So you think drinking is going to help?” He asked as you groaned loudly. “What’s going to help? You weren’t so concerned about help when you left me. Wouldn’t listen to me! You know what Berlin!” You spoke loudly, pulling you arm away. “You can’t claim to love someone and be the reason love hurts. Did you ever love me if you don’t trust me? In fact. I’m done crying tears over you. I’m done crying and crying, and grieving a whole relationship you didn’t care about. You threw our three years worth of love down the drain for your ego! And you have the nerve to come at me like I want a man. I would have one if you didn’t mean shit to me. I never wanna speak to you again.” You huffed, walking to the car with the anger going through you. Deep down, your sober heart knew it spoke words, but half lies. How could you be over him? You weren’t and you did want to see him again. This is not what Krysta meant when she said to clear the air.
Sitting on the bed in your pajamas, Krysta had watched as you sighed heavily. “That liquor really makes you bold.” She said, trying to lighten the mood. “It does huh? I think I shouldn’t drink it anymore.” You replied more monotone. Never mind, cheering up the mood after that would not happen nor be easy. “No it was a good thing, Y/n. As your sister I think you need that release. This gives Berlin a chance to really consider what this whole breakup has done. To realize that he’s wrong, and to give you a chance. But I need to push you to do it. To make peace and if you never end up together again, who cares. You two have unspoken words. It’s obvious with that tension from earlier.” She nods her head, trying to encourage you to make the move to speak to him again. It would require something, that push.
“When I watched you two, I clearly noticed the tension and I noticed the hurt you both felt. He refuses to speak to you about it but don’t make it easy for him to avoid it till you speak your peace. Let it go. Off your chest. Talk.” She frowned as she rubs your arm gently. And you knew she was right, you two required peace. Something between you two, bad blood mainly, was the whole reason it felt the relationship was crumbling around the two of you. “I’ll try…”
Trying? Now it’s been three weeks and you had plenty of time to try and piece this back together and you couldn’t find a way to fix it. Berlin had took what you said to heart, and you figured he did when Jojo called to check on you and the subject of Berlin happened. Today was shop day, you got invited to go with your sister and some part of you wanted to decline but again it was Berlin, it was all fixable if you both allowed the other to express that heartache felt that night. Sticking the casual but cute outfit of yours, not wishing to stand out too much since your sister always had a thing in telling you what would be best to wear for something’s. She really was the best part of your heavy days.
Upon walking the mall in attempt to bring up the mood, your sister had been looking at outfits for you two. And everything was super cute for whatever plans might come up. “I’m telling you. You’ll look cute in this dress! Can’t go wrong with a bit of red unless it’s styled incorrectly.” She giggled as you chuckled behind her. “Right. Because red is the color everyone can magically pull off. But I guess trying the dress on wouldn’t hurt.” You nodded your head. She squealed with excitement before skipping away to find someone in the store that could give you some access to the changing rooms.
Standing by the clothes, and beautifully lined dresses, you hadn’t expected anyone else to be around. “Excuse me…just wanted to come over and say you were beautiful.” The guy spoke. That’s when your eyes looked at the guy, he was pretty handsome in your eyes. “Awe. Thank you.” You hum, giving a gentle smile. You’d hope with that he wouldn’t push too much, but it was worth a shot. He’d nod his head before giving a response. “I actually spotted you earlier and I got nervous so I couldn’t find the words to tell you that but I gained some confidence to come and say it now.”. Poor guy, he was nervous, no lying about that, but he also seemed the pushy type since he thought stepping closer would result in anything better.
“Could we maybe. Exchange numbers? Go out?” He asked, there it was, the date but it’s not a date, type of tone and question. He was pushing his luck. “Ah. Sorry but no thanks.” You chuckled nervously. Hopefully he’d walk away, no means no. Turning your back to walk away and quickly find your sister, he had only hummed. “Sure but you know, you could be a nice girlfriend. I’m sure just one date could prove that we would fit together?” He said. “And I think you’d be a perfect fit for even me.”. That’s when you felt his hand get placed on your shoulder. He was the type of pushy creeps that Berlin had always warned you about running into.
“No seriously. It’s fine.” This time your throat ran dry, nerves. “No really! I swear you’ll like it.” He nods his head with a large smile. This time, you felt the world crashing down but only for a moment. “She said No. now leave her alone.” The stern tone spoke from behind you two. Both turning around to spot Berlin, he looked like he was ready to kill the dude over this. “Now get away from her.” He said harshly. He was still protective huh? That was a good thing to know. “Move it.” Jojo cut in as the guy glanced at the two before quickly leaving the store. You finally felt the relief and ease of breathing, not realizing the guy had you holding a breath. “Thank you..both of you.” You spoke in a low tone. Keeping your eyes down as you didn’t know what to say. “We need to talk.” Berlin grabbed your hand, pulling you away as Jojo watched, clinging his tongue before Krysta stood beside him. “Where are they going?” She asked as he shrugs. “Either an argument or something else, I don’t know.”
Some part of you felt he had something to say but again he could just be using this moment to scold you and accuse you once again of something. That didn’t matter though, since you now stood outside of the mall. “Look Berlin. If you came to accuse me-“ you were cut off by his words. “I’m sorry.” He apologized. Your eyes had soften a bit as you glanced up at him with a bit of disbelief to his words. “What?” You raised a brow. “I’m sorry. I said. I’m sorry for the way I acted at the restaurant when it was just time for you and your sister.” He said. He sounded genuine, good. You felt good knowing he did in fact mean his apology to you. “Berlin…have something I need to say too…” you mumbled in a low whisper. He did still catch on, so he was all ears.
“Krysta told me to get this off my chest. And I owe that to you and myself.” You shake your head. “That night you accused me of cheating, I didn’t mean him at the club with my friends to cheat on you. I went there with them and he was there. But he’s not into women Berlin. Him and I have nothing but friendship for each other. But instead of explaining myself. I want to be honest. I can’t do this without you. I’m having such a hard time without you because I realize I love you too much to let go so easily. That shit at the restaurant? I didn’t mean one word from that.” You frowned
Just say it. “I’m really sorry.”
He needs to know. “I’ve cried and I realize..”
You can do it. “I realize I love you more than myself and I can’t do this life without you Berlin. I know it’s not helping you understand except the nights I stayed up crying and I’m grieving you! I’m grieving you and I just want you to not be mad at me! Because I’d never piss you off purposely! We may have our differences but my heart belongs to you and I’d never cheat! I’m in love with you and one day I wanna call you my husband! Berlin…”.
There it was. The truth. The nights you laid awake crying and imagining your life without him, it hurt, but finally you could be free from the words that held you down all along. “Y/n.” He grabbed your hips. “I love you too. And I’m sorry. And one day…I’ll be your husband because what I feel for you is there. And I miss you.” He admitted. He’d lean down, moving his lips to yours before giving you a loving and passionate kiss. A man of his words, and the relief felt great. “I misjudged your friends, I assumed they had knew all along but they didn’t, they didn’t know cause it was never true.” He frowned. “I made that up in my head and I accused you but it was wrong. It’s lonely not having you interrupt my recording with food and kisses and drinks. And I just want you to always be mine. I miss it. Waking up with you, I miss it.”
That felt good for the two of you, your relationship with him meant the world to you, Berlin had always been there. And the nights of lying awake and wanting to break down into tears. Was finally over because the two of you held the relationship into nothing but miscommunication. Something you’d be sure would never happen again.
Series Summary: Lori "Babycakes" Tate swore she would never date a biker but when her life is in danger, she is put under the protection of a small club known as The Fallen Wolves Brotherhood. She suddenly finds herself attracted to not one, but five bikers.
A reverse harem, biker AU.
Part Six Summary: Lori and Sy are alone again and Lori must make a decision.
Pairing: Captain Syverson x OFC, Walter Marshall x OFC, Mike x OFC, Geralt x OFC, August Walker x OFC
Word Count: Approx. 4k
Warnings:
Series Warnings: Reverse harem, age gap (OFC 23, ages range from 23 to mid 40s), oral sex (male and female receiving), unprotected p in v sex, anal sex, group sex, masturbation, praise kink, mentions of body fluids, drug use, recreational drinking, sex work, criminal activities, mention of death, violence, use of weapons, mentions of war, mentions of abuse, angst, fluff, probably a lot more that I will add as they come up.
Part Six Warnings: Smut, mostly kissing, touching and the implication of more, angst, fluff.
Authors Note: Thanks as always to my lovely BBFs (Best Beta's forever) @henryobsessed and @nashibirne. Finally some smut for you all, but please don't hate me, I had to!
Divider made by me. Edited by me, there will be errors.
Masterlist
Parts Masterlist
Part Six Part Eight
Lori
I felt pleasantly full from the pizza and beer, but waiting for Sy to come back had me on edge and my tummy kept flipping making me feel nauseous with anticipation.
I flicked through the channels while I waited and tried to settle my tapping foot and thumping heart. I settled on watching music videos, a best of the 70s countdown. It didn’t calm me completely, but at least I had a beat to bounce my foot to.
As excited as I was for Sy to come back, spending time with all the Brothers today was really enjoyable and I was a little disappointed when they left. I felt comfortable and safe with the four of them and despite how different they were, I felt equally drawn to each of them.
Mike was… Mike. He made me laugh and made me feel free in the simplest of ways. He was fun and welcoming and I could totally see myself having a great time with him. If I had met him in college, I would have dated him in a heartbeat. Marshall puzzled me, he was shut down in many ways, but every now and again he’d smile, or his eyes would flash with anger and I’d see the rivers of emotion beneath his exterior and I wanted in. Geralt was even more mysterious to me, but I liked being around him because he reminded me of the old school bikers I knew before things had changed. He seemed wise, calm and cool, and being near him gave me an overwhelming sense of home and comfort, even when an occasional shyness overtook me.
And August… he made me burn. Something about him stoked a raging bonfire in my gut, both from fear and lust. He seemed dangerous, always on the edge of humanity and while I was scared of him, I couldn’t deny my attraction.
And Sy, my God, Sy. He was everything rolled into one. Playful, deep, calming and dangerous, yet also sweet and compassionate. One moment he made me laugh, the next minute he made me cinch my thighs together and sink my teeth into my lip.
I was still thinking of Sy when I heard the door open and I sat up expectantly as he came back inside. He looked incredible as he paused, framed by the doorway. His thick black jeans fit snugly around his waist and his black faded Lynyrd Skynyrd t-shirt was stretched to its limits around the shirt and revealed his solid, inked forearms.
He closed the door and toed off his boots before walking to the foot of the bed. I expected that he would climb up the bed to lay over me, or maybe even finish undressing, but he didn’t. He crossed his arms and smiled at me, staring at me unmoving for so long I decided to take matters into my own hands.
“So,” I said, letting my legs fall open a little in invitation, “are you just going to stare at me or are you going to finish what you started this morning?”
Sy chuckled and dropped his arms. He shook his head at me as he walked around the bed, took the remote control from my hand and turned the music up. It was a slow rock song, I wasn't sure of the name of the band, but it was soft and the singer's southern twang was full of angst and yearning.
He held his hand out. “Dance with me?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Really?”
He shrugged. “Sure, why not?”
I tentatively put my hand in his and he rolled his eyes.
“C’mon,” he said.
I laughed softly as I climbed off the bed and Sy pulled me close to himself with a jerk. I let out a grunt as I crashed and nearly bounced off his hard body.
“Asshole,” I muttered.
Sy hummed, amused, as his arms encircled my waist. His scent cut into senses like a hot knife through butter. He smelled faintly of beer, mixed with the smokey smell of his tobacco while the skin on his neck smelled of leather and fuel, and below it all was a deep musk that was entirely male and potent.
He raised his hand to my neck, his palm pressed gently against my throat. His hands were warm and the cold metal of his rings made shiver as he ran his fingers over my skin. He smirked as he felt my reaction and his throat rumbled softly. Then his thumb lifted my chin higher and he dropped his head into my neck, his bearded cheek resting against mine.
My muscles went lax, my whole body felt like jello and I reached for his shirt to hold myself up. His arm went around my back drawing me closer, rocking us softly in time with the music, our bare feet on the carpet, he didn't seem to mind when I stood on his toes.
“Cat gotcha tongue baby?” Sy’s low words seeped like honey into my ears while his lips ghosted over my skin and the balmy heat in my gut burst into a raging fire.
“Didn’t figure you as much of a dancer,” I whispered.
He shrugged. “When I feel like it.”
“And you feel like it now?”
“That's right,” he murmured. “Seems to me you get me thinkin’ about doin’ lotsa things I don’t normally think of doin’.”
“Like what?”
There was a long pause before he lifted his head. “Sugar, I gotta talk to you about something.”
“Sounds ominous,” I said, feeling my body stiffen as if bracing for an impact.
“It ain’t bad, I just gotta tell you something before this goes any further.” I opened my mouth to say something but he shook his head and talked over me. “Just listen, baby. When we get back, I have to leave on another job,”
I raised my eyebrows, “But I thought…”
“I know baby, I don’t wanna go but it’s gotta be me.”
“Why?” Sy hesitated so I added sullenly, “You can’t tell me, don’t worry I get it.”
“It’s a logistics job, transportation across borders,” he said.
I raised my eyebrows in surprise, I truly did not expect him to answer. “Did you know? That you’d be going?”
“Walker told me this morning,”
“How long?”
“A few days, a week?” Sy shrugged. “Depends what I find when I get there.”
Quiet moved in and we stood in each other's arms until the song ended and a faster, poppier one came on and the moment vanished. I moved out of his ambrace and he let me go looking at me expectantly.
“I get it,” I said flatly, “it's the life.”
“Baby…”
“No it’s fine,” I said, but it hurt. It really fucking hurt. I don’t know why I expected him to be any different.
He looked at me with such a pained expression I almost believed I really meant something to him. I turned away, turning the tv off and bringing my bag onto my bed to look for my PJs. I didn’t want to look at him because my disappointment was too hard to hide. I was not going to cry again.
“I was Army, Special Forces.” Sy said and I froze. “I was trained in transporting people and goods undetected across enemy lines. That’s why it’s gotta be me.”
I swallowed. “You didn’t have to tell me that.”
“I wanted to,” he said, softly. I felt the heat of his body behind me, felt the back of his fingers skim down my arm. “I don’t wanna hide who I am. Not from you.”
“I’ll miss you,” I said, the words falling from my lips before I could stop them.
“I know.”
I huffed, not sure if it was true.
“‘Cause I’ll be missin’ you too,” Sy said, solemnly.
I turned back to him and tried to gauge his sincerity. “So how did you end up in an MC?” I asked to test him. I wanted to see how open he was prepared to be and I was not entirely convinced I would get an answer.
“A long series of events. Startin’ with a mission that went sideways and got some of my men killed and as a result I met Walker. Then we both met Geralt and later, Geralt brought Marshall in. And after finding we had similar grievances, it ended with us deciding to use our skills for ourselves instead of the government.”
“My men?”
“I was an Officer.”
“What skills? Were the others Special Forces too?”
“No, they… I'll let them tell you their stories.”
“What about Mike?”
“Mike, well, he's different,” Sy grinned. “Dumb kid just fell in with us.”
I searched his features for a sign that he was being deceitful, but despite his smile all I could see was the honesty I had noticed from the first time I laid eyes on him. Somehow I knew in the deepest marrow of my bones, that I could trust him. Even when he was being evasive, he wasn't lying to me. I ran my fingers over his lips, tracing the curve of his smile. His grin suddenly faded and he grew serious and I removed my hand.
Grimacing, he sniffed and turned his head towards the door. His jaw jutted forward as he spoke slowly and carefully. “The Brothers… They care about you.”
My face scrunched up in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“They care about you. Just like I do.”
My eyes widened, what was he saying?
He brought his attention back to me and the expression he wore was stoic. “And I know you have a kinda feelin’ towards them… the same as you do for me.”
He knew.
My blood ran cold and my stomach felt like it was shrinking in on itself. I looked away, I wanted to deny it, tell him it’s not true, but I couldn’t. I wanted to be sick.
“It’s ok,” Sy said, gently. “Believe me. It’s ok.”
I wasn’t so sure. The men I knew, the bikers I knew, they were territorial. One wrong glance from an old lady to another man could result in a beating, and in some cases not just for the other guy. Toxicity and violence was sewn into the fabric of the life, another reason why being here with Sy and entertaining my attraction to the rest of the Brothers was so momumentally stupid of me.
Sy’s hand was under my jaw again, lifting my gaze to his. He kissed me, his lips a gentle caress on mine but I couldn’t bring myself to kiss him back.
“Baby?”
“What must you think of me?”
“I think the world of you.”
“You barely know me.”
“I know enough to know that I’m one lucky son of a bitch,”
“Sy…” I chided softly, feeling my cheeks heat. I tried to look away but he held me firmly in place.
“I mean it.”
For a few beats there was silence as the heat of his gaze radiated through me. His breath started getting harder and tension grew in his body.
“Still want me to finish what I started this mornin’?” he asked, huskily.
The Memento Mori tattoo across his neck caught my eye and I raised my fingers to trace the lettering. Knowing now how close to death Sy had been in his life made the tattoo seem like more than just a vague sentiment. Remember you must die were words not written to stir feelings of dread, but instead to inspire you to seize the day, to do what you can while you live, because your time in this life was fragile and finite.
I thought of my mother, wondered what she would think of me in this moment, here with a guy like Sy. Would she think me a fool, or would she understand that the heart wants what the heart wants? Although they were divorced, my father and mother still loved each other. I think perhaps they had been spending nights with each other, unable to stay away from each other for long and it had ultimately cost her her life. Would she make that choice again if she knew what was coming?
Knowing my mother, she would make the same choices and she would understand mine.
I wanted Sy. I wanted to see where the connection between us went. I wanted to see if it was real. And I wanted to live in this moment, to take the chance that maybe he and the Brothers are more than what I assumed they would be.
I slid my hand around to the nape of his neck and standing on my toes, I kissed his neck and felt him swallow as my tongue swept over his throat.
“Jesus, woman,” Sy said, his voice a gravelly groan. His hand slid into my hair and his hips pressed against mine.
I kept kissing his neck as I slid my hands under his shirt and into the coarse hair on his abdomen, following the dip between the gentle peaks and valleys of his abs until my fingers reached the slightly softer hair that lay across his chest.
His hand gripped my ass, sliding into the back pockets of my kevlar jeans, his fingers digging deep into my flesh drawing me closer until I could barely take a breath. Bending his knees, he slipped his leg between mine and dragged my core across his thick thigh. I dropped my head into his shoulder and muffled my moan into his piquant shirt as the friction made me realise just how damp my panties were getting.
My fingers inched across his chest, drawn as if by a gravitational pull to the piercing in his nipple. I ran my finger around the hairy skin that surrounded it until curiosity got the better of me and I gently slid my nail over it, pulling it down briefly before it sprang back into place. Sy groaned and the hand in my hair tightened into a fist.
I backed off, not sure if I had hurt him. “Sorry.”
“Don’t stop,” he growled, “touch me however you want. Anywhere you want. You won’t hurt me.”
I swallowed hard and licked my lips as I took the hem of his shirt in my hands and lifted. He took over, quickly pulling it over his head and dropping it to the floor. His hands moved to my hips, his touch softer this time, gentle even and he drew me closer again.
“Don’t stop,” he repeated, this time his voice was almost a whispered plea as lowered his head to mine.
My hands continued their exploration as my eyes catalogued his ink, including the DILLIGAF tattoo in large gothic script arching over his navel. It seemed like a lie when he held me; I couldn’t reconcile the tattoo with the man. He seemed to care about everything, his brothers, his club, me.
A change in the texture of his skin made my brow furrow. A large but old scar marred the side of his ribs, one of many I had noticed on his face and arms, but this one looked like it had been serious. They were all sewn up nicely, not like a lot of the backyard jobs I’d seen on some of the guys in my brother’s club. Perhaps it had been from his army days.
I wondered if I would ever know how he got it and found I wanted to know badly. I wanted to ask him more about his past, I wanted to know everything about him. Maybe if I was patient, he’d tell me more one day. For now though, I wanted to see more of him.
This time when his fingers lifted my jaw and his lips brushed mine, I kissed him back, opening myself to the warmth of his mouth and he deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping across mine like satin. Pressing my body against his, I put my hands on his arms and felt the dense, rigid and strained muscles beneath his skin. My hands ran up to his thick shoulders as his made their way around my back and under my shirt before resting flat against my skin. His hands were scorching hot, burning me like a branding iron, except for where the cool metal of his rings slid over me.
My hands drifted over him, over his back, his neck, his short bristly hair and his soft thick beard and all the while he kissed me. Breathing hard into my mouth, he let me explore, sketching his features by touch, until my hands made their way down his stomach to his belt. He caught my hands in his and guided me onto my knees in the centre of the bed. He followed climbing onto the bed with a grin before he cupped my cheek and lowered his mouth to mine.
“You’re holding back,” I accused teasingly before our lips could meet.
He nodded, and said huskily, “It’s taking everything I’ve got not to rip your clothes off and take you.”
I whimpered, it’s the only way I can describe the sound that came from my mouth.
“Ah, you’d like that?” Sy asked, roguishly. “And here I was tryna be gentle.”
He ran his thumb over my mouth, slipping it between my lips. Instinctively my tongue flicked against his calloused pad, the texture of his hardened skin made me draw my legs together in anticipation. Then his mouth was on mine, his kiss light, tender, probing, but somehow still lustful and controlling. It made me shiver as goosebumps broke across my arms.
“Hmmm, but you like that too,” he murmured, his lips hovering just above mine.
Nodding, I lifted my mouth to his and he pulled away with a smirk. I tried again to chase his mouth but he moved again.
“What are you doing?” I whined.
“I like the way your lips look when you’re about to kiss,” he said, pulling his head away as I tried to kiss him again.
Frustrated, I said the first dirty thing I could think of. “Want to see how they’d look wrapped around your cock?”
Sy captured my jaw in his hand, his smirk growing wider. “You say the sweetest things, baby.”
Sy made a low noise deep in his throat as he kissed, his tongue sliding over my lips urging me to open for him. I did, meeting his with mine, lapping at the welcomed invasion. He sucked on my lower lip, his teeth scraping the delicate skin and my body pressed against his.
With a soft growl he pulled my shirt off over my head, returning his mouth to mine as he groped for my bra. He slipped it off quickly, his hands immediately on my breasts, groaning into my mouth. He dropped low, his hands holding me still as he took my nipple into his mouth. My hips rocked, the warmth of his mouth radiated through my nerves, each lap of his tongue was like a lick of flames heating and stoking the rapidly accelerating need that burned between my legs.
While his touch grew firmer and more urgent as he moved across my chest. “Your skin is so soft.”
Fuck me, he was so vocal; every kiss came with a soft rumble in his throat. By the time his mouth reached my neck I was trembling and my breath was bursting from my lungs in hard, short pants. He paused long enough to lay his forehead on mine, and stared at me. His eyes were lust blown yet laser focused and his breath ragged and rough as he palmed my breasts. My nipples tightened into small buds as they slipped between his fingers and he gave them a soft pinch that turned my blood into molten fire.
“God, I want inside of you,” he said suddenly.
He wrapped an arm around my back and swept my legs out from beneath me and laid me on the bed as I squealed then giggled as I covered my swaying breasts. He stayed on his knees and his hands were at my jeans, winking as he tugged on my jeans. I lifted my hips to help him then drew my legs up in the air while he yanked them from my body and he threw the clothes behind him. As my legs dropped he caught them and split them around his hulking frame. Then he was still, not moving except for his eyes and one hand that skimmed its way softly up the inside of my thighs.
“Sy, I—”
“Let me look at you a minute,” he said hoarsely.
His hand continued its slow climb, and he gripped my hip for a moment while his other hand mirrored his actions. His eyes wandered, his blue eyes were nearly black as he continued his appraisal. He studied me for so long I started to get nervous. I wasn’t ashamed of my body, but under his close inspection I started to wonder if he noticed the thin silver stretch marks on my hips, or the scar on my ribs from where I had fallen off my pushbike as a kid, or how one breast was slightly larger than the other.
Sy seemed to sense my discomfort and he caught my eyes, his gaze was so heated it felt nuclear.
“You’re just about the most beautiful thing I ever saw,” he said so earnestly I couldn’t doubt him.
As he lowered himself onto me, my legs opened further, parting until they nearly hit the mattress to accommodate his immense size. Although he was supporting most of his weight on his elbow he was so deliciously heavy on top of me as his lower half pinned me and his hips kept my legs open. He kissed me again, a little more demanding and I parted my lips in invitation which he accepted greedily. He filled my mouth with his velveteen tongue, moving it inside me until I felt like there was no part of me he hadn’t explored and claimed.
His hands continued to stroke my side, rising slowly until his fingers ghosted over my cheeks and down my neck before he wrapped his hand around my throat possessively, yet so gently it was soothing. I whimpered into his mouth as he pressed himself against my core; I could feel him, hard and ready through his jeans, and the rough cotton rubbed against me as he rutted slowly.
I was a wet, throbbing, undulating, mess as I kissed him back. My hips worked with him, crudely urging him for more, but he remained rock solid and in control as he kissed down my neck, his kisses going lower and lower until he reached the small triangle of hair on my mound and raised his eyes.
I trembled in anticipation. Knowing how perfectly rough, silky and warm his tongue felt in my mouth, all I wanted in the world was to feel it on my clit.
He kissed lower. And lower. And lower. His eyes narrowed as mine grew wider and his beard brushed over the engorged skin between my legs. My hips jerked, and I let out a long shuddering breath.
Sy licked his lips as his fingers brushed over me, his eyes closing as I felt him part me and slide over my slick centre.
“Shit,” he drawled, elongating the words so long it almost was like he sang it. “You’re so fuckin' wet. So fuckin' wet for me.”
His breath tickled my clit, his humid exhale sent my nerves into overdrive while my brain simply shut down. My body strained to meet him, desperately seeking some contact or friction, anything to release the pent up tension in my quivering limbs.
“Relax baby,” Sy said, softly kissing the insides of my thighs, “I’ll get you there. I’m just enjoyin’ myself for a li’l bit first.”
“You’re teasing me,” I whined pathetically.
Sy smirked and shrugged a little, “Feels good though don’t it?”
I nodded.
“Yeah, it does,” his fingers slid over my swollen slick skin again, and I gasped, “Yeah, you’re feelin’ real good ain’tcha?”
It was a rhetorical question, but I nodded emphatically.
“Gonna make ya feel even better,” he murmured against my thigh, his eyes locking onto mine as the tips of his fingers were poised at my entrance, “You just gotta be a good girl for me and lay back and keep these pretty li’l legs open.”
Summary: Bucky’s hair didn’t sit good with him anymore.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes X F!Reader
Warnings: Fluff, my rubbish writing (it’s a warning)
Word count: ~1300 words
A/N: just a disclaimer I AM NOT A HAIRDRESSER, I just put Brad Mondo’s video into writing. Also, I love Bucky with long hair, but I couldn’t help but imagine something like this. Also, I think it’s free if like skin colour and hair colour description of the reader, exept she/her pronouns. If you find something let me know because it’s not supposed to be here. If I get any shit from someone for using dutch at the end I will block you because it’s my first language and I’d like to use it sometimes because I know I would if I was with someone who didn’t speak dutch. Bye loves!
“Buck, can we go to the store today? We can get your favourite crisps too and- Are you okay?” she was cut off by the sight of Bucky tracing his scars with a judging look while his hair kept falling into his face as he stood before the mirror.
He jumped when he realised she stood at the bathroom door. “Yeah, Yeah, fine. I was just uhm, what were you saying?” he said and scrambled to put on his shirt.
“Bucky calm down. What’s worrying you?” she asked him and held him by his elbows. His hands were trembling and he doubtfully put his hands on her skin.
“I- I just, I-” he couldn’t get the words out, avoided her eyes, breathed heavily and tears started to form in his eyes.
“Do the breathing exercise with me yeah? In and out, slowly.” They breathed together until he could keep the rhythm.
“I had a nightmare last night, but you were still sleeping when I woke up, so I didn’t want to wake you up, but that nightmare was horrible.” He managed to keep his breathing even but the tears still started.
“You can always wake me, okay? No matter the reason,” she soothed and opened her arms for a hug.
“I hate the scars and the stupid arm, but worst of all, I hate the hair. It reminds me of the Winter Soldier and I don’t want to be him anymore, never wanted to be.” He cried into her neck as he hid his face.
After the year they had been together, she was proud of how far they had come. It was still hard at times but they faced it together.
“Your body might have been the Winter Soldier but your heart and mind never were. And your body had changed too you know. You have scars from fighting on the side you have always wanted to, you have a different arm that’s way stronger, you get to decide who you are, who you love, where you go, everything. And if your hair is standing in the way of you being happy, we can cut it,” she smiled.
He lifted his head and rested it against hers. “Will you do it?” he asked, just above a whisper.
“I’m not a hairdresser,” she said nervously.
“I don’t want anyone else to do it,” he said as he took a step back and look at the ground.
“Okay, I can try. Don’t kill me if it looks bad,” she smiled and pulled him back and gave him a kiss.
“I’ll lock you in the house with me if that happens.”
“Ah, so I get to fuck up your hair and get a reward.”
Three days later she came back after buying some things she might need after the advice of a real hairdresser.
“Buck, I’ve got everything, literally. I’ve got clippers, a comb, official hair scissors, even thinning sheers, metal hair clips, a water bottle spray thing and advice of a hairdresser.” She smiled as he came out of the kitchen, half his hair in a bun, and still eating cereal.
“Thanks, doll, can we do it now?” he asked with his puppy eyes.
“Of course! You go and sit down and I’ll get a towel and fill the bottle.”
When she got that all she put the towel around his neck and carefully secured it with a safety pin.
She grabbed the stool on wheels from her office before sitting down on it. “Want me to tell you what I’m doing?” He nodded and smiled at her through the mirror once she put it upon the table.
She placed a kiss on top of his head before she began. “First I’m going to chop off all this length,” she grinned in an American accent she knew he hated.
He mocked a fake glare that faded away with a kiss on his cheek.
“Ready?” she asked as her scissors stood at the ready to cut the fist strand halfway. He nodded and met her eyes in the mirror.
“You’re going to need to talk, otherwise it isn’t my fault I fuck up your hair,” she smiled.
“Yes, I’m ready,” he said and heaved a breath of excitement. She cut it off and handed it to him. As she did the rest, it fell to the ground as Bucky still saved the first strands. “
Now, we have a very nice bob, something for you, monsieur?” she asked with a smile and he scrunched his nose. She kept playing with European words, as in words from European languages, as she was used to, due to her very Dutch background.
“Then we need to section your hair,” she smiled and wheeled to get the metal clippers and comb from the table in front of them.
“I’m going to comb it back and from here I’m going to do it like this and clip this up, see?” she turned his head for him to see and he smiled.
She finished sectioning and took him through the process. “Now the clippers, with the longest thing for on it, I don’t know what they’re called,” she said and plugged it in.
“Guards, need me to put them on?” “Yes,” she handed it to him.
“Okay, she said I needed to hold the comb in one hand and the clippers in the others and do it like this,” she started and went around his whole head with a certain motion.
“If I shave your ear off, that’s not my problem,” she murmured as she now did the parts by his ears as she’s been avoiding those. He smiled, making his ears move and she gave him a look through the mirror.
“That’s dangerous Barnes.” She finished and got him to switch it to a smaller guard and repeated the motion but in a different way, Bucky didn’t know anymore but went along.
She switched guards again and he figured out she was doing some sort of gradient on his hair, it started to look really good.
“I’m fixing these bits now,” she smiled and cleaned up his hairline.
She took the thinning sheers and cleared the top parts until they were both happy with it. She let down his top hair and parted it in two after wetting his hair. Then she proceeded to section it in more bits and cut it at an angle. She combed it back into the next small section and cut it off at the same angle and length.
After measuring if the front two bits were the same lengths she did the other side too. She kept his hair wet throughout and was now putting a heat protector in his hair and blow-dried it.
She styled it a bit to one side and then revealed it to him, although he had been looking the whole time.
“I left it a bit longer on top so I don’t ruin it for the barber but I hope you like it.” He kept looking at it and couldn’t help but touch the back of his head.
“Also, I uhm, I went off of this picture with styling. I hope I wasn’t doing wrong by doing that,” she held up a very old picture of him and Steve on a mountain on a mission.
Bucky was speechless and just flung himself at her while he cried tears of happiness.
“Thank you, how did you get that picture?”
She smiled softly at him and said, “Steve owed me,” and winked. “I’m asking you later about that,” he said in her neck and dragged her over to the sofa and laid down with her.
As he started to cry again she held him and let him do so.
“Thank you so much, I’ve never felt more myself since falling off that fucking train.” he said with a teary smile before kissing her softly.
This is my first ever fan fic!! So please be nice😭 if you have any tips lmk pleaseee
I honestly dont like it but that happens everytime I make something so lmk what y’all think
I kind of got carried away but there will be a part 2 soon🤫
This is pre-apocalypse obvi
18+ only
This will be smutty it will include
Oral (f receiving), getting caught, age gap (reader is 20-23, negan is 50ish..?), cheating, fingering
You’ve suspected that your boyfriend has been cheating on you but you never really had proof so you’d just move on. That was until last week, you were going through his camera roll while he was in the shower to find a picture to post but instead you came across a sex tape. You watch it out of curiosity and you notice that isn’t you in the video but that was him. You’d recognise that curvy dick anywhere, you and Nate (ur bf) would have sex all the time but you never had the heart to tell him that you never enjoyed it so you’d just fake it. You put his phone down where you found it and zoned out while you tried to process what you just saw until he got out the shower and pretended you didn’t know.
Two weeks later
You still haven’t told him you know as your too stressed to deal with him trying to win you back and plead his case because you are about to start finals and have so much studying to do. You ring the doorbell to his house and surprisingly his dad negan answers the door. “Well hello there, doll!” He says in his raspy voice. Ever since you met him he’s been super flirty and you never minded it as you found him attractive but you were dating his son, then a thought flew by your mind ‘sleep with him, Nate will regret ever touching another women’ “you okay there?” His voice pulls you out of that thought and you smile “yeah, sorry. Can I come in? Me and Nate are having a movie night.” “Yes of course” he moves slightly out of the way for you so you have to brush against him to get past. “Is it okay if I join you for the movie night? I know it would be weird as I’m his dad but I feel like watching some movies yknow?” He asks voice still raspy. Your previous thought about revenge wonders to your mind again “I’d love for you to join us” you say smirking. “Alright! Let me know when you start the movies then” he then wonders off to his room just as your boyfriend comes down the stairs making your smile disappear and a fake one coming through “hey baby” he says while checking you out. Your wearing a blue low cut top and a short black skirt with some jewellery to complement your outfit. He drags you upstairs to his room which is right across the hall from negans, and you couldn’t help but look through the small crack in the door and see him without a shirt on, you look down at his perfect torso and admire the tattoos on his body as you look up you notice him looking at you too and he winks, you feel a pool burning between your legs as you turn to enter Nate’s bedroom even though you’d much rather be in negans.
“Shhh keep it down your dads in the next room” you say to him still thrusting inside you and not listening. You realise he’s getting close so you pretend you are too as he starts grabbing at your boobs, 10 seconds later he unloads in you and pulls out after “I said pull out before!! What the fuck!” You yell out not caring that his dad might hear. “I’m sorry It’s fine it’s not like your on your period anyways” that comment made your blood boil so you took your bra and shirt to the bathroom to put on and calm down. In that moment you decided to do it. You were going to seduce and fuck negan and make sure Nate knows. You come out the bathroom and make your way towards your boyfriends room. “look I’m sorry I just don’t want to risk it” you say leaning against the door frame he looks at you and apologises and asks if you wanna start the movies, of course you said yes because you wanted to see negan. You guys headed downstairs and see his dad already looking for a movie to watch “what do you think of a scream marathon?” He asks already putting the first one on, “do we have a choice?” Nate says laughing.
Your boyfriend had this weird thing about him that he has to sit in a one seater chair during a movie so you and negan sat next to each other on the couch, every now and then his arm or leg would brush against you and everytime your stomach would swirl and you’d start blushing. You didn’t think he noticed but he actually did and would smirk everytime but you were too busy trying to hide your blushing to notice. About 45 minutes into the 3rd movie Nate started to snore so you and negan looked at each other and starting laughing. You pause the movie and take him up to bed and he passes straight back out so you went downstairs to keep watching the movies with negan “finally, what took you so long? It’s like you had a quickie” he says teasingly at you while smirking. “Thank god we didn’t” you say under your breathe not sure if he heard you or not he then turns his head to you “why?” “Doesn’t matter” and he shrugs it off. After watching the movie for another 20 minutes he turns and looks at you, you look at him confused. “I have to tell you something and you won’t like it” you look at him even more confused until he continues “Nate has been.. he’s been cheating on you” he says with sorrow in his eyes “thank you for telling me, but I already know” he gives a confused look while thinking of something to say. “It’s fine, I found out 2 weeks ago” ���then why are you still with him?” Not wanting him to know your intentions yet you don’t say anything back but he grabs your chin gently so you look at him “I’ve heard you two before, I could give you a real orgasm.” He says bearly above a whisper. Your mouth drops open in shock and he’s still looking at you with a smirk. ‘How did he know’ is all that’s going through your head right now “you need a real man who knows what’s fake and what isn’t. I can be that man” your mouth still open from shock as he whispers it in your ear. Without thinking you smash your lips against his hungrily and he returns it with the same amount of hunger and passion grabbing the back of your neck to pull you deeper in the kiss and you start to unbuckle his dark blue jeans in hopes of a real orgasm when he pulls back from the kiss and stops your hands, you look at him confused and ask “what’s wrong?” Hoping your not humiliating yourself he reply’s “not yet darlin’, I want to take my time with you because I’ve wanted this for so long and i know you have too” he does his infamous smirk as you bite your bottom lip, then suddenly he whispers “let’s make sure Nate knows what your real orgasm sounds like” and suddenly he’s picked you up and taking you to his room right across from Nate’s. He throws you on the bed gently but rough at the same time and doesn’t close the door all the way and you know why so you giggle a little because you can’t believe this is actually going to happen.
He looks at you seriously and asks “if you want to stop at anytime just say so. I won’t be mad, I just want to make sure your okay” you nodded and smiled at him before plunging your lips back to his and you could feel him smile against your lips, he starts kissing your jawline and you loved the way his salt and pepper beard rubbed against your neck. He slowly starts making his way down your neck after possibly leaving a hickey on your neck to your cheekbone you could feel yourself practically dripping at this point and you loved it. Suddenly he stopped and looks at you “why’s this shirt still here darlin’”before slowly slipping it up leaving kisses over where he removed the shirt until he got it over your head and starts kissing you again. He looks down to your red lacy bra and you could feel his pants tightening under your thigh which only made you wetter. He slowly removes the bra before taking a nipple to his mouth and sucking then moving to the other doing the exact same thing, he bit down on it making a moan slip out of your throat making him practically purr “ohh you like it rough don’t you, you dirty girl.” He said before slowly making his way down your stomach with kisses making you squirm under him. He was about to reach your waistband before you stopped him and looked at you concerned before you smirked then continuing to take his shirt off and seeing his upper body made you moan without even being touched, he smirked “like what you see? Don’t blame you I would stare too” “such smugness, better not be making up for something that’s lacking” you bit your lip as you looked at the spot where his jeans tightened to give him a hint “such a rude girl, do I need to punish you?” He says in a sinister tone his eyes going dark, he doesn’t wait for you to say anything back before smashing his middle finger in your tight cunt making you whimper in pain and pleasure “do I need to repeat myself?” “No” you manage to get out still in shock from his fingers smashing into you “no what?” “No daddy” “good girl. I know that’s what you call me when masterbaiting to me at night” he wasn’t wrong, your vibrator knows it too. He pulls his fingers out slowly making you whimper softly he then takes the finger and moves it into his mouth “damn you taste good darlin’” he then proceeds to move his face down to your wet pussy when you realise you panic “wait! No one’s ever done that to me before” you confess as he looks at you with a grin “so I get to be the first one to eat out your pussy. Good. And oh it seems you’re even dirtier than I thought, no panties?” You must’ve left them in Nate’s room but suddenly your train of thought was interrupted when a tongue fell on your sensitive clit making you moan loudly “that’s it baby, let me hear you” he goes straight back down and sucks your bundle of nerves making you moan again getting a groan out of him and the vibrations making you get closer to the edge. This was like nothing you’ve ever felt before in the best way possible, he continues sucking and licking then a finger pushes in you pumping in and out, then two fingers stretched you making you cry out in pain and pleasure. Your head falls back to the mattress as your eyes roll back as well. The burning ball in your stomach starts intensifying as his fingers start curling and hitting your g-spot “yes daddy f- faster please” you could barely get it out between your toes curling and one hand pushing his head down as far as it’ll go to get as much friction as you can you could barely get out words, only moans. But he listens and his pace fastens making you moan even louder. As your about to reach the edge a door opens. Nate’s door. Your in too close to care that negans door swung own and Nate stood there frozen and your eyes locked right as your orgasm ripped through you with so much force you bellowed out in pleasure. once your done negan turns around to Nate who’s still frozen “see now that’s what her real orgasm sounds like” he says, his beard covered in your juices and kicks the door shut.
Hello, extended Stinkywrinkles family. I’m terribly sad to announce that our sweet, bestest boy, our wonderful Hurley, finally succumbed to his long-term health issues on Wednesday.
He was diagnosed with tracheal collapse at the age of 2 and underwent soft palate surgery at that time to help clear his airway. With careful management of his activities, temperature, and weight, he was able to lead a long and joyful life by our sides, go on adventures, and be his best silly self. He’d gone blind and deaf over time, needed various eyedrops 4 times a day, occasionally had a bladder or tooth issue…. But mostly he was still fit, had good mobility, always a voracious appetite, and was happy to spend his days snuggling, snoozing, screaming at us for supper, and snuffling for treats in the yard. We adapted ourselves to his disabilities and needs, carried him, lifted him on and off furniture, guided him around with gentle cues, and did our best to ensure his comfort, safety, and happiness as his world slowly grew smaller.
We knew he was in the late stages of his tracheal collapse when he finally developed that telltale “honking” cough in the past year or so. Still, it was manageable. Most days he was fine, and still able to do all his favorite little things.
Then on Monday morning, he suddenly had a 10-second seizure after a small coughing fit. Within 48 hours his breathing had degraded until he was quietly wheezing more often than not, his heart was racing whenever he was awake, and there was a rattle in his breath. These are the last pictures I took of him on Wednesday morning, when he was still calm…. but he was obviously wearing down.
In a twist of terrible timing, I had a video-call job interview to get through that afternoon, and was desperately trying to keep myself together just one more hour, then we could say goodbye to Hurley that evening….. but when Bear called to make the appointment, the vet recommended an emergency euthanasia based on his worsening condition. My interview didn’t work out and then I came downstairs to find out we had MINUTES to take Hurley in instead of hours. My poor heart was not ready, and it was devastating. But we couldn’t ask our sweet boy to hold on anymore. :(
Bear absolutely did the right thing because the emergency vet just barely managed to put Hurley to sleep in my arms before he could asphyxiate right in front of us. It was terrible and he was scared, there wasn’t even any time to sedate him. He’d been “okay” on the drive there but within another 20 minutes he was in such respiratory distress it was actually a relief when he went still. It wasn’t at all how we wanted him to go, and I wish more than anything we could’ve had more time. It’s never enough time. :(
I’d been lucky enough to work from home for Hurley’s entire life and can probably count on one hand the number of full days I’d ever had to spend away from him in 12 years. He was my first dog, our first dog as a couple, and truly a gem of a companion. He was hilarious, goofy, super-affectionate, and weird. He made us laugh every single day, whether by his actions or his quirky personality or his sweet, dopey face.
We found Hurley in the classifieds when we were first thinking of getting a dog 12 years ago. He was 6 months old and his owner felt it better to rehome him as he worked long shifts. We drove over “just to look” (lol), but I was a goner the second they put this clumsy little potato named Hurley on the porch and he stumble-crawled into my lap. He was completely trusting and sweet-tempered, accepted us as his new family immediately, and was glued to us forever.
Hurley was 100% a “people dog”. He had little to no interest in other dogs (beyond sniffing their butts), although he did bond nicely with Roxy when we added her to the mix 6 months later. He loved us with his whole wrinkly heart and always had to be by our sides. He used to play a little when he was younger, but for the most part he wasn’t a “play dog” either. He was a “velcro dog” and a “food dog”. His favorite things in the world were his people, his yard, cuddles, meals, Roxy, and treats. And barking. MAN could that little guy bark. Barks loaded in every wrinkle.
He loved trick-training, and even though he was a bit of a slow leaner, once he nailed a command he’d perform it with joy and enthusiasm every time. He loved to high-five, and retained that ability even after he’d gone blind and deaf because he was able to learn a different cue for it. His disabilities sort of forcibly eroded the “language” we’d built up all the years prior, but we figured out how to communicate the same messages in new ways, and he was visibly excited whenever he “got” whatever I was trying to tell him through guidance and gentle touch-cues. He trusted us through every frightening new change in his life and health, and was always sweet, friendly, and tolerant with vets, groomers, and visitors. Forever a squirmer, never a fighter or biter.
Hurley was the definition of a “good boy”. We couldn’t train him to stop barking for the life of us, but he was never destructive in the house, never naughty or sneaky at all, just a simple little guy with simple needs, love in his heart and a gentle tail-wag (and maybe a fart) in his bum. His best days were spent sniffing and exploring the outdoors, going on adventure-walks before his blindness made new environments stressful, being with his family, and napping in a sunbeam or warm blanket with a full belly. He loved Bear to bits, but was truly a momma’s boy to his core. Being a dog’s “chosen person" is a special kind of bond I can’t even put into words. He was happiest when he could be near me, fused to my side if possible, and I’ll forever be thankful my circumstances allowed me to spend nearly every day of his life with him. From the moment he first clambered into my lap, I knew he was mine, and that I’d hold him snug in my arms when he had to leave this earth.
I’m glad he’s not suffering anymore, and we always knew this time would come, but the loss has left a huge hole in my heart. His daily care in the past few years was amounting to a lot of work, and realizing I no longer have all these dozens of little tasks to do to tend to his health, safety, or comfort feels strange and unfamiliar. Roxy didn’t have much of a reaction at first but has now noticed he’s “missing” from the household and has been worried and extra-clingy, either because she’s feeding off our emotions or because she’s concerned we’ll disappear too. We’re trying to keep her routine as normal as possible. This is the first time in over 15 years we’ve only had one pet to care for, so now it’s officially “Princess Roxy Time” where she gets to rule over us and soak up our full attention like she’s probably always secretly wanted, lol. Hurley’s needs greatly limited the activities we were able to do with her or the places we could go as a family, but we’ll make sure Roxy’s remaining years are some of her most wonderful yet.
All in all, we know we gave our special boy a happy and full life tailored to his needs and personality, and always did our best for him. I'll love you forever, my bestest little buddy, my funny squishy boy, my sweet happy Hurwee. You’ll be in my heart always.
For @thunder-pride non-binary day, I have a quick fic for you all. It didn’t turn out exactly how I wanted but it’s getting late so I figured I’d post it anyway.
AO3 link
Brains knew many things. Most things, even – at least in comparison with the average person. Fix almost any mechanical object under the sun? Sure. Recite every element of the Periodic Table and their respective mass numbers? Not a problem. Design and construct a fleet of the most advanced rescue crafts known to mankind? It had taken a little while but the Thunderbirds were also a success.
So, taking all of this into consideration, it seemed baffling that Brains had no idea how to start a conversation. Or to be precise, this specific conversation because it wasn’t exactly an everyday discussion. It was a sort of monumental, heavy talk which could tip the scales of the future in either direction.
In other words – or, you know, a lack of words given that was the problem at hand – it was monumentally terrifying which was not a phrase thrown around lightly. A lot of things were scary, but this? This was on an entirely new level.
The villa was mostly empty. Grandma was visiting friends on the mainland and Alan was fighting aliens on a video game again. Gordon and Scott were halfway across the world on a rescue in Denmark, leaving Virgil as the only other person present. It was plausible that Brains had planned to arrive in the kitchen around now for precisely that reason.
It was a light, balmy evening without so much as a hint of rain in the air. A gentle breeze rustled the palm fronds while the nightly symphony of insect song grew a little louder by the minute. Sun rays swept across the ocean to invite themselves through the sliding doors, transforming the kitchen into a pool of glowing gold. All of it should have established a sense of calm and yet.
“Hey,” Virgil called across, spying Brains lurking awkwardly partway between the conversation pit and the hallway. He lifted the saucepan of whatever he was cooking. “Are you hungry? I’ve accidentally made enough for… I don’t even know. Four? Five? Too much for me to eat by myself, anyway.”
Brains went to speak, faltered, and instead slid wordlessly onto a bar stool. For a few moments, they remained in a tranquil silence. It was so quiet that the distant waves against the beach were audible. From somewhere within the conversation pit, MAX let out a tiny trill which was probably meant to be reassuring but could also have been a suggestion that maybe notecards for this conversation would have been a good idea after all.
“Long day?”
Brains nearly startled out of the seat. “S-sorry?”
Virgil looked fondly bemused. “I was just asking if you’ve had a long day? You seem more…” He twirled a hand vaguely; a sixteen-hour rescue tended to steal a guy’s vocab. “…in your own head than usual. Anything exciting or are you tired?”
“Is both an option?”
“Both seems most likely, so yes.” Virgil returned his attention to the saucepan. Tiredness stamped his features and had taken root in his shoulders yet his voice remained soft as he ventured, “Are you alright?”
Brains paused. There came another encouraging warble from MAX’s direction.
“Actually, there’s s-something I’ve been meaning to, uh, t-talk to you about.”
This was fine. Absolutely. There was nothing to be afraid of. It was just like ripping off a band-aid – momentary pain but future relief.
“Do you think… m-maybe…” It made no sense to be so scared. This was Virgil. And yet Brains couldn’t stop the soul-consuming sense of utter terror. “Could you refer to me as they/them?”
Virgil didn’t hesitate, just carried on as if it were an ordinary conversation on any other day.
“Yeah, of course.”
Brains paused. “Really?”
“Why wouldn’t I…?” Virgil spun around to face them with pure heartbreak in his eyes. “Wait, Brains, did you think…? I am so sorry if I ever gave you the impression that I wouldn’t accept you. God, I- I’m sorry. You’re family. I love- I mean, we love you.”
“Oh.” Brains coughed. “I… I feel the same way.” Then, in a rush, “Thank you.”
Virgil reached across the counter to place a hand on their shoulder. “You don’t need to thank me. If anything, I should be the one saying thanks. Thank you for trusting me. Does anyone else know?”
“Just you.”
Virgil shoved the saucepan off the hotplate and abandoned his cooking attempts altogether. He had on that same soft smile usually reserved for moments when he didn’t think anyone was looking at him. He rounded the island and hesitated, hands hovering at his sides uncertainly.
“Can I give you a hug? Is that okay?”
“I…” Brains willed their voice to remain steady. There was a wave of emotion slowly creeping up their throat and a suspicious burning behind their eyes. “Y-yes.”
Virgil swept them into a proper bear hug. He was the only person allowed such close contact. Touch just wasn’t Brains’ usual way of expressing care. Technically Scott had hugged them in the past too, but that had been exceptional circumstances, and Alan just couldn’t be stopped nor deterred. But Virgil? He gave good hugs. So, Brains let themself relax into the hold until the overwhelming depth of feeling in their chest unravelled into something more bearable.
“They/them, huh?” Virgil murmured, a distinct note of pride in his voice. “Congrats. That’s a really big thing to figure out. I’m happy for you.”
MAX’s trill seemed sort of smug, as if to say I told you so.
Brains finally extracted themself from the hug. “Thank you. For n-not making it a big deal.”
Virgil seemed to wrestle with the instinct to say something more, then forced himself to return to the cooking. “You know, you still haven’t given me an answer. Do you want any of this?”
“Oh, r-right. Yes.”
And just like that, the words were out there. The world was still spinning without any physical changes, but somehow everything felt lighter.
OC!Anya X Jamie Siu (Rashid Friendship)- Don't tell me you're Jealous
[Jamie: Princess]
[Jamie: Where are you?]
[Anya: I told you I was visiting Nayshall for two weeks, didn’t I?]
[Jamie: I thought you said one week?]
[Anya: Pretty sure I said two baby]
[Anya: I still have two days left]
[Jamie: I miss you]
[Jamie: I’m fuckin miserable without ya princess]
[Anya: It’s a beautiful developing country]
[Anya: It’s got some modern amenities]
[Anya: But the beauty of their culture is still found in the bazaar and in the Lowlands]
[Anya: The people are so friendly and I came back to experience Nayshall leisurely and see some old friends]
[Jamie: I’d love to go with ya, but it’s too hot]
[Jamie: Even for the great Jamie Siu]
[Anya: By the way…I made a new friend in Nayshall!]
[Anya: I’m sending you a pic]
*Pic comes through*
[Jamie: Who]
[Jamie: The fuck]
[Jamie: IS HE!?!?!?]
[Anya: He’s my new friend, his name is Rashid]
[Anya: He taught me some new moves, and we’ve been making videos]
[Anya: He’s so damn funny, he had my stomach hurting from all the laughter we’ve shared over just silly shit and a little tea]
[Anya: We've spent the last few nights playing games too, he's so much fun to hang out with]
*5 minutes pass*
[Anya: Babe?]
[Anya: You ok?]
[Jamie: I’m perfectly fuckin peachy]
[Anya: Dude, what the hell is up with you, who shit in your tea?]
[Jamie: Nothin is up, by all means, go back to hanging out with your new boyfriend.]
[Jamie: Since he's so much more fun than me]
[Jamie: Since he makes you laugh more than I can]
[Jamie: Since you looooove making videos with him so much]
[Jamie: You probably think his dick is bigger than mine]
[Anya: OMG! Don’t tell me, the great Jamie Siu is jealous?]
[Anya: FYI, I haven't even seen his dick, I'm not curious at all about it]
[Jamie: I’m not jealous, Jamie Siu never gets jealous.😤 ]
[Anya: You aren’t even like this when I hang out with Luke]
[Anya: Could it be?]
[Anya: You see Rashid as competition for real?]
[Anya:😂🤣😂🤣]
[Jamie:😤IT AIN'T FUNNY ]
[Anya: You have nothing to worry about my love.]
[Anya: I’m be home soon and back in your arms, sweet thing]
[Jamie: Just because you’re my girl, don’t forget. You.Are.Still.My.Disciple.Too]
[Jamie: And if he tries to make a move on you]
[Jamie: I’m taking whatever plane I have to just to come kick his ass]
[Jamie: Nobody moves in on Jamie Siu’s girl and escapes with their teeth]
[Anya: Calm down, dragon warrior. I’ll text you tomorrow so no more sulking]
Anya laughs her ass off after putting her phone away. Rashid looks at her and wonders what is so funny.
“Hey Anya, everything good? You looked tense for a second there.”
“My boyfriend got jealous when he saw our picture and I told him about all the fun we’re having.”
“No way! Really!? I never thought I’d be in the crosshairs of somebody’s jealous boyfriend, but there’s a first time for everything!” Rashid found it quite amusing as he laughed.
Anya showed him the texts and he was laughing so hard he was crying
“Wow! You’d think we were having sex for real judging by the vibe I got from that. He probably would kick my ass for real. Lucky for me, you’re just a really good friend that I can see me building a lasting bond with. Soooo, you up for some gaming action? You need to relax and it’s getting dark anyway. It’s a good thing he has no idea we’re sleeping in the same room.”
“Right!? Even if we are sleeping in two separate beds, he’d be booking an overnight flight by now just to fight you…I could use some relaxation of the gaming variety. You down for some Mario Party?”
“Retro or current gen?”
“Retro…Mario Party 2 oughta do it.”
“Horror Land or Bowser Land?
“I’m feeling very Bowser Land right now.”
“50 turns it is…let’s go!”
Anya went back to the hotel with Rashid and they played the game until they fell asleep. Tomorrow, it was time to get packing so she could go back home to Metro City, and her brooding, jealous boyfriend that she loves so much. But for now, she slept in the bed separate from Rashid. Jamie was definitely going to be absolutely “thrilled” when she tells him that Rashid was coming to Metro City to visit in three months.
yess!!! im also gonna write how he confesses to you ^_^
i imagine you guys meeting at a fancy party
you got dragged along by your friend, you honestly didn’t want to go, but who could pass us the opportunity to get free food
when you guys finally arrive at the fancy dinner (after spending like hours getting ready), your friend lowkey leaves you to go talk to her other friends
you started to follow along but then you just figured what’s the point and moved to the bar
it was pretty chill, you stayed on your phone but you were a little hurt that your friend left you
after a little bit of scrolling though your instagram feed, you hear someone say “excuse me”
“oh yeah my bad” you say and move a little over to give the person more room. they sit down next to you. there’s some more silence but you don’t really mind, you don’t even know this person.
“hey, uhm, what drink is that?” the person asks. you look up at them and you think ‘damn they look familiar’. “it’s presseco” you answer with a smile. “is it good, im not sure what i should get”. “Yeah it’s good, you’d should add some ginerale to it, then it’ll taste much better”, the person smiles back at you and says “thank you”.
now you could’ve sworn you’ve seen him before. it’s eating at you.. where have you seen him.. school? no..instagram.. probably.
the person orders their drink and takes a sip, “oh, i see what you like now”, they says chuckling but you couldn’t help but feel butterflies from the way they said it. “yep, it’s good right?” “yes, i’d try this again”
there’s some more silence, and you’re a bit scared to ask for their name so you just hold off.
“what’s your name?” the person asks. “Oh my name is y/n”. “nice to meet you y/n,” the person puts their hand out for you to grab. you put your hand out and you both shake hands. “my name is Robaire”. “nice to meet you” you smile.
you could’ve sworn he looked a little bit surprised after you said that, you didn’t know why. “so do you come to these events often?” you laugh a bit from how cliche the question is. “no not really, my friend dragged me along, usually at this time i’d be playing a video game or something”. he chuckles a bit, “yeah me too, i came here with some of my friends”. “that’s nice”. there’s some more awkward silence.
“so.. not to sound blunt but why’d you come over the the bar, and not stick with your friends?”. he picks up his drink and takes a sip, “well i got into a little argument with one of my friends, so i’m just cooking off. I think we just needed to calm down, we’re both stressed” he says. You can’t help but realize how collected he sounds, he’s so understanding. “hmm, i see, stressed from work or?” “yeah, work” he says, it sounded like he didn’t want to talk to much about it.
“well.. at least your here with me”, you pick up your drink with a smile and raise for a cheers. he follows suit. “cheers tooo?” you drag out the last word so he can finish the sentence. “to new friends”, he smiles and you guys cheers.
After a few hours of talking to Robaire, you realize more and more how attractive he is, and how cool he is too.
he mentions all the places he’s been to and all the people he’s met
honestly you thought he was a fuckboy
you guys end the night with exchanging numbers and from that day on you guys talked more
you still haven’t brought up where you think you’ve seen him before and honestly you don’t feel like asking either
2 years later
you and him are really good friends now, ans you also know what he does for his job
he’s a famous entertainer
your friend was so mad at you, because you didn’t know who he was when you guys first met
he told you he was scared to bring it up the first few weeks of talking because he didn’t want you to use him
you completely understood and still stuck around (and he fell deeper in love dawg)
one day he invite you out to dinner, it wasn’t anything special but he tells you to wear running shoes.
honestly you got scared
you guys arrived at the dinner spot and everything was chill, it was a dinner spot that he loved to go to and he got really cool with the owners as well so you guys could get a spot away from the public.
the whole dinner was smooth and nothing out of the ordinary. the only think that you noticed was that he was acting a bit weird. like very shy.
a few weeks ago you noticed it, and even when he was around the other 4*town members they would act a little bit suspicious as well. but today. he was acting totally different.
“hey so why did i need to wear specifically running shoes?” you ask. “well we’re gonna go on a walk after dinner” “robaire.. are you planning to kill me”. he laughs and says “no no no, i just gotta show you something”
after you guys finish eating, he looks so eager. so much so that he almost forgets to pay. but as you guys are walking to the spot you notice why he said to bring running shoes. you feet were killing you. it wasn’t even like you were out in the woods or nun. y’all were in the city streets walking, and at the time you don’t know if he did this on purpose trying to get you tired but lord have mercy it was tiring.
you guys end up stopping at some park. you guys find a bench to sit at and he points down to some flower on the ground. “this is what i wanted to show you”. you look at him like he’s crazy. “..t-the flower?”. “yes, i know it may seem weird but listen. what do you think is so different about this flower” “uhm… “, you look around to see if there is anything different. you lowkey irritated, your tired and exhausted and now he got you playing blues clues?. “i don-” your sentence is cut short when he kisses you.
you just look at him. your shocked. “y/n..” “y-yes” “will you date with me?”. you’re shocked completely and confused. but at the same time everything makes sense: why he was acting so weird, why he was being so shy, so fidgety. “yes” you smile.
he kisses you again and he’s saying over and over again “for real?”.
you ask him why he showed you a flower and he tells you about how he wants that flower to represent your guys relationship, he wants it to grow into a beautiful flower
summary: I came upon this old vlive moment a while back and before I knew it I’d written an entire fic around it. Delulu’s be warned lol. (also on AO3)
or
Yeonjun has a realization and handles it in all the wrong ways.
-------------
“Is it buffering? It says that the connection’s a bit unstable.”
Yeonjun had done live streams with Soobin before, tons of them in fact. Today was no different, it was just another live stream with one of his members.
At least that’s how he wanted to treat it, but the events of yesterday made it difficult for Yeonjun to act like he was fine. And the worst part? Soobin seemingly had no idea that he was the cause for all of his inner turmoil…
-One week earlier-
Soobin lets out a loud laugh as Yeonjun launches himself on top of him and attacks his sides. Beomgyu is talking to one of the staff members and Hueningkai is having a conversation with Taehyun, none of them are even the slightest bit fazed at the two oldest members laying on top of each other in a tickle fight. Hueningkai simply smiles at the sight, Taehyun rolls his eyes and Beomgyu is so enthralled in his own story that he doesn’t even notice the two wrestling members behind him on the couch.
That is until his story gets interrupted by Yeonjun accidently pushing Soobin into him. Beomgyu lets out a yelp before getting up from the couch he was almost pushed off and crossing his arms.
“Can the two of you go be in love somewhere else I’m trying to have an adult conversation here.”
Yeonjun finally stops his tickling attack on Soobin’s waist and looks up at Beomgyu smiling. Soobin takes a moment to catch his breath before he too, looks up at Beomgyu towering over them on the couch, and scoffs.
“An adult conversation? Weren’t you just talking about video games?”
Yeonjun and the staff laugh as Beomgyu pouts in response to Soobin’s comment: “Video games are an adult topic. Now please move your cuddling to the floor if you really can’t help yourselves and stop disturbing me.”
Soobin rolls his eyes once more before getting up and announcing that he’s going to the bathroom. Yeonjun doesn’t get a chance to think about how he’s going to keep himself entertained now Soobin’s gone because he’s immediately called into makeup for the photoshoot. It seems the photographer they were waiting for has finally arrived.
As soon as he sits down in the makeup chair, Soobin returns and seats himself with the maknaes on the floor. When Yeonjun closes his eyes for his eyeshadow he can hear Soobin’s distinct laugh echoing through the room. He quickly opens his eyes to see what the commotion’s about. It seems Hueningkai made some kind of joke because Taehyun’s also laughing. As they work on his lip makeup his eyes stay on Soobin and his conversation with the maknaes. He’s so focused he doesn’t even notice Beomgyu sneaking up behind him with a mischievous grin on his face.
“Are you jealous?”, Beomgyu says right in Yeonjun’s ear, his voice laced in jest. Yeonjun lets out a yelp in response, startling not only the makeup artist working on his face but even Soobin at the other side of the room.
“Ah, you scared me.” Yeonjun says exasperated as both the stylist and Beomgyu laugh at him. It takes him holding his chest for a moment, waiting for his heart to calm down, to even realize what Beomgyu said.
“Did you just say jealous?” he inquires and Beomgyu laughs as he takes place in the makeup chair next to Yeonjun.
“Yeah, because you were looking at Soobin with those eyes again.” Beomgyu is still laughing to himself, but Yeonjun is confused more than anything.
“What eyes? And what do you mean ‘again’?”
Beomgyu finally ceases his laughing and looks towards his hyung.
“You know, the love eyes.”
“Love eyes?”
“It’s just a joke hyung, don’t think too much about it.” Beomgyu finally says as he turns towards the mirror and allows the makeup artist to start working.
Yeonjun scoffs and leans back with his hands behind his head: “Pft jealous, as if any of you can compare to me.”
Beomgyu chuckles and shakes his head: “This hyung’s really confident about everything.”
Their conversation falls silent after that, but Yeonjun doesn’t forget it. It’s a joke, he knows that too, they joke like this all the time. But for some reason today it bothers him. He tries to focus his thoughts on the upcoming photoshoot, but the feeling of Soobin’s touch lingers on his skin and breaks his concentration.
Love eyes huh…
Distracted or not, Yeonjun is a professional. So, when he gets called in for his solo portion of the shoot he poses with ease. He spends time eating lunch while the others are shooting and it’s not until they’re waiting for their group shoot that the strange thoughts return.
Yeonjun is telling a story about how he managed to get a really expensive shirt for a really cheap price in Itaewon. His eyes are on Hueningkai as he explains the excitement he felt when he saw the shirt he liked in the small vintage shop.
“I remembered that I’d seen it online and I immediately checked the price, you’ll never guess how much it was!”
Hueningkai seems slightly distracted by his food but tries his best to seem interested in his hyung’s story. Yeonjun’s eyes trail away from Hueningkai and land on the boy sitting on his right and he immediately regrets looking over. His eyes meet Soobin’s, and his head goes blank.
You see, Soobin isn’t the most intimidating person on the planet, anyone can see that, but he has this stare. A stare that’s silenced Yeonjun before, a stare that manages to jumble his thoughts every time. He’s tried to talk to other members about this, but they don’t seem to relate to the way Yeonjun’s heart skips a beat when he’s looked at like that. They admit that Soobin’s stare can be intense but none of them knew what he was talking about when he mentioned the sparkles in the boy’s eyes. The soft love that pours out of them every time he looks towards you like that. Looks at you like you’re the most important person in the world to him. For a moment Yeonjun considered that Soobin only looks at him like that but he didn’t enjoy the way that made his heart skip a beat, so he stopped that thought process immediately.
But even now when he’s doing something a simple as telling a story about a piece of clothing, Soobin’s looking at him with those eyes. It’s unfair really. Even with Yeonjun jumbling his words, Soobin doesn’t do anything but nod and encourage him to keep speaking. Yeonjun eventually looks back towards Hueningkai and finishes his riveting story.
But as they load into the car for their next schedule, Beomgyu’s words ring in his head.
Love huh…
Later that night they’re eating backstage at a radio station when Soobin sits next to Yeonjun to eat and the older man is overly aware of how close the boy is. He finds himself hyper fixated on Soobin and what he’s doing.
His heart didn’t skip a beat when Soobin casually wiped some food of his lip, and his gaze didn’t momentarily drop to Soobin’s lips when he did so. Because that would have implications that Yeonjun isn’t ready for in the slightest.
None the less, when they get back to the dorm, he decides that the man responsible for him overthinking his own feelings like this should be the one to help him.
“Beomgyu-ya.”
“Mhm?” Beomgyu is already seated behind his pc and Yeonjun knows he has max three minutes before Beomgyu starts a new game and he’s fully lost his attention.
“I need to ask you something.”
As distracted as he is, Beomgyu seems to notice his slightly serous tone because he even takes his headphones off and turns his chair to face Yeonjun.
“Ok, if I hypothetically wanted to make a joke about me and Soobin dating, how do you hypothetically think people would react to it?”
Maybe he empathizes the hypothetically a little too much but better safe than sorry.
Beomgyu quirks up and eyebrow, sending anxiety through Yeonjun’s system.
“You know, just in case. I remember I was going to make a joke like that during a past live stream, but I didn’t because I didn’t know if people would say it’s too far or something. Would they care? Probably not, right? Because you know… people of the same group actually dating is impossible, right?”
Yeonjun can almost physically see the cogs in Beomgyu’s brain turning. His question doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but he just needs a different perspective on things. Whether it’s the exhaustion or his desire to just get the conversation over with and return to his game, Beomgyu answers the question without asking a single one in return.
“I don’t think they’ll care. I mean I talk to Hueningkai and Taehyun all the time about how you two would be a ‘cute couple’, I’m sure if you were to make jokes like that on broadcast no one would take it seriously.”
When Yeonjun doesn’t immediately offer a reply Beomgyu decides that’s the end of their conversation and he turns his chair back around, puts his headphones on and starts on a new game.
Right, who’d believe that? Two idols from the same group dating, what an idea.
Yeonjun trudges back to his room and ignores the pit that’s forming in his stomach.
Luckily that doesn’t matter to me because my members are like my brothers.
Right?
Ugh, if it was about anything else he’d just call his mother for advice or something, but he isn’t sure how she’d respond to this.
Well, he got away with giving vague questions once today, maybe it’s his lucky day!
------------------
“Does my little healing have a crush?”
Well, that didn’t take very long for her to figure out. He shouldn’t be surprised that there was no way to ask her for love advice without her realising what’s really going on. Maybe he should just tell her?
Tell her what? I don’t even really know if I like him.
“No, I don’t. Well, maybe I do. I don’t really know.”
“Well, where did you meet this person? How long have you known them?”
Yeonjun silently thanks his mother for not assuming he’s talking about a girl, that immediately makes this conversation a whole lot less uncomfortable.
Maybe he doesn’t need to say he’s talking about Soobin? He has a lot of friends; she won’t know who he’s referring to.
“I actually met them…him… quite a long time ago but today was the first time that the possibility of me liking him crossed my mind.”
His mother ponders in silence for a moment before responding.
“Mm, what started these thoughts?”
Yeonjun lays back on his bed and sighs as he thinks back to their photoshoot from earlier.
“We were just kind of messing around and then someone pointed out that I’m always looking at him and touching him.”
“Well, you are a very affectionate person sweetheart.”
“That’s true…” Yeonjun sighs as he turns around on his bed and clutches his pillow in his arms while he talks.
“But I then started thinking about how he looks at me, he has this really intense gaze and whenever he looks at me like that my mind goes blank and my heart just kind of freaks out.”
His mother giggles slightly at the other end of the line making Yeonjun groan:” Mom, don’t laugh!”
“Sorry, sorry. Well let me ask you this, if this boy told you tomorrow that he has a girlfriend how would you feel?”
Yeonjun has to think about that one for a second. If Soobin got a girlfriend? He shouldn’t care, a lot of his friends are dating, and he never cared when they told him. He’d probably have a lot less time to spend with him if that was the case, maybe Soobin would even stop being as close to Yeonjun if he did. The thought of Soobin kissing someone kind of makes his heart ache though…
Oh my God
I like Soobin
“Mom… I…”
His mother lets out a breath followed by a slight chuckle: “Oh, it seems my healing really does have a crush.”
Yeonjun buries his head in his pillow, when did this happen? He’s an idol, being in love is challenging enough but that person being in the same group? Oh, he’s so screwed.
“I-I can’t tell him. Fans w-will…”
“When that day comes your fans will understand.” His mother replies and he latches onto her voice, his face still buried in his pillow. If only he could hug her, receive her comfort in real life and not just through a phone.
His mother continues:
“You worked very hard to get where you are, remember all those tough days when you were a trainee, remember how difficult that was for you. You and all your members worked very hard to get where you are today. It was tough but you paved a way to happiness then and you can do it again now with this.”
Happiness…
Yeah, he did work hard. And so did Soobin. He is happy. Soobin doesn’t have a girlfriend and as much as the thought stings, when Soobin gets a partner Yeonjun will just have to suck it up. They worked too hard for him to ruin it now. Dating Soobin is never going to happen, he might as well give up now. He’s been happily on Soobin’s side for years now, nothing’s changed. He can just do as he did before, he’ll be the same teasing but supportive hyung and band member that he’s always been. Soobin is a fellow member, a brother, nothing more.
“Healing-ah?”
Yeonjun belatedly realises that his mother is still on the line, he quickly wipes away the tear he didn’t realise rolled down his cheek and sits up to answer her.
“Yeah, sorry mom I’m fine. Thanks for the advice, I think I know what to do now.”
They hang up soon after. When Yeonjun wakes up with red rimmed eyes the next day, the members very easily accept his excuse that he watched a sad movie.
---------------------
“Is it buffering? It says that the connection’s a bit unstable.”
It’s been about a week since Yeonjun’s revelation about his feelings for Soobin and he can happily announce that nothings changed. He and Soobin are still friends, and the latter doesn’t seem to have noticed anything about Yeonjun’s crush.
Although that’s not for a lack of mistakes on Yeonjun’s part.
“What flavour Pepero do you like?”
Yeonjun saw the comment flying by so he shouldn’t have been surprised when Soobin turned to him and asked it. He’s had Pepero before, he knows he prefers the nude chocolate snack over the regular one. But his nervousness under Soobin’s gaze hasn’t changed and it takes Soobin prompting the answer out of him before he’s able to form an answer. Relief fills his system when Soobin breaks eye contact to complain to the camera about not really liking the nude flavour. Yeonjun’s able to give him basic replies as his brain tries to reboot and his heart tries to recover. Thank God the connection’s terrible at the moment, he didn’t need moa’s to capture this embarrassing moment of gay panic in 4k.
Maybe hiding this crush won’t be as easy as initially expected…
Summary: Danny often feels overshadowed by his best friends and bandmates. You, however, can't seem to get your mind off of him.
Paring: Danny x fem!reader
Word Count: ~2.8k
Warnings: talk of mental health, hangover symptoms (and medicine for such symptoms)
A/N: i never could find the actual interview i based this from, so i just came up with one of my own. PLZ remember that this is fictional and in no way how i think the boys actually treat Danny. thank you guys for all of your support <3
Serie s Masterlist
Part III
It seemed as if the concept of sleep was foreign to you tonight. Despite the protest of the others, you chose the couch. You were adamant that they sleep in their own beds, even through their slurred arguments. But because of their drunken states, they didn’t put up much of a fight.
Usually, you found it easy to sleep on the boys’ couch. You had done it so many times before that it seemed almost second nature to you. The curve of the cushions and the familiar fragrant scents brought comfort similar to that of a lullaby. Tonight was different though. You were restless and found it hard to keep your eyes closed for long. You went from too hot to too cold, comfortable to uncomfortable. You tossed and turned until you finally gave up completely on trying to fall asleep. You picked up your phone off the table beside the couch, deciding to pass the time with more social media.
One of your favorite hobbies was searching the hashtags related to the band and looking through the mountains of fanmade content. You loved seeing videos and pictures of old performances, especially from the earlier years of Greta Van Fleet. You sometimes shared funny memes with the boys and read through stories to see how the fictional versions of the boys matched with reality. You were just about to switch the social media platform you were investigating when you came across a portion of a written interview with Danny. You read the caption before anything.
“This makes me so sad for Danny,” it said, paired with various crying emojis. The comments and tags matched the nature of the caption.
You were curious as to what the fuss was all about, so you decide to read the screenshots yourself.
Interviewer: So you’ve been going for a while now, but do you ever still get nervous when going out on stage?
Danny: Absolutely. I’d like to say I’m lucky that I sit at the back of the stage. Josh, Jake, and Sam are closer to the fans than I am, so they don’t get to mask their nerves as much. I’ve come up with strategies and tactics to calm down if I ever need them though.
Interviewer: Have you ever needed to use those?
Danny: More often than not, yeah. I had to work really hard to get where I am today, and I’m still trying to improve. I came into the band known as the “replacement,” and some days, I still feel like my spot in the band is fragile. Like they’d kick me out if I messed up. That feeling on top of performing in front of thousands of fans is terrifying.
Interviewer: And would they? Kick you out?
Danny: We’ve grown to be brothers essentially, so I’d hope they wouldn’t. But I can only hope they keep me around as long as the band is around.
Interviewer: But you’re the only one who isn’t a biological brother right?
Danny: Yeah, which is why I feel so fragile in the band. They all have a special bond that I could never have. Kicking out a family member would be much harder than just a close friend. Everyday I’m thankful that I’m still in the band.
Interviewer: Are there any perks to not being a brother?
Danny: Yeah, I mean, I guess I have a form of leverage over them. I can call things out how they are and mediate when necessary. I help things go as smoothly as possible, and I’ve been given the role of the middle man. When it comes down to it, I feel like that’s why they keep me in.
That was all the snippet included. There were no links, no sources, no context. You locked your phone and set it back down on the table.
You felt sad. There was an indescribable pain in your chest that you could only attribute to sadness.
Danny had talked to you about his insecurities with his playing, especially during and after his injury, but he had never expressed something like this. Feeling like he was only still in the band as a peacemaker for the others? It hurt to even imagine him doubting himself that much. He was an amazing drummer and an even better person to be around. He mattered more than he would ever know.
You wondered if the others knew about what was said in this interview. If he didn’t mention it to you, you imagined he hadn’t talked to his band mates about how he was feeling. You didn’t know if you should ask him about it or if you should just act like you hadn’t seen the interview at all.
You felt a stray tear fall from your eye, but you quickly wiped it away. You didn’t realize that you had started crying, and honestly, you didn’t know why you were crying at all. You felt a little helpless in the situation and guilty that you hadn’t noticed any difference until today.
You sat up and brought your knees to your chest. Before you could continue to overthink what you had read, you heard shuffling in the kitchen behind you.
“Bip?” you heard Danny’s groggy voice call out from the darkness.
Your body went stiff, but you turned your head in response. You were thankful that he couldn’t see your tear-stained cheeks.
“Did I wake you?” he whispered. “I’m sorry, I just got thirsty.”
“No, you didn’t wake me, Danny,” you rasped back. His apology caused your guilt to flourish even more. “I can’t sleep.”
He turns on a dim light in the kitchen. It barely lit the room, but it was just enough to be able to barely see in the living room. You heard him turn on the faucet briefly to fill his glass with tap water. “Me neither.”
“Is something wrong?”
He takes a sip before answering with, “Just a long day.” He quietly walks to you. “Care if I sit with you for a bit?”
You weakly smile at him. “Of course not.”
Instead of sitting at the other edge of the couch, he sits on the cushion directly beside you. His body heat prickled your shoulder, and you could’ve swore he was leaning into you a bit. You sat in brief silence, not looking at one another, before you finally started a conversation to keep your mind from drifting to the interview.
“How’s Josh’s hand?”
He let out an airy laugh devoid of any humor. “He’s okay. It’s burnt, but nothing a little Neosporin can’t handle.”
You laugh but wince when you feel a throbbing pain in your head. You were mostly sober at this point, but all of the beers were starting to catch up to you. Danny glanced at you as soon as he heard the noise come out, and his eyes stopped at the table beside you. Earlier, he had set out two painkillers for you to take before you slept to avoid the hangover symptoms. You still hadn’t taken them.
“You really should take those, ya know,” he noted. You could sense the worry in his voice, but you tried to put that out of your mind.
“I’ll be okay,” you said with a smile as you massaged your temples.
“I know you will, but I want you to be okay now. Here.” He handed you the glass of water he had been sipping on. Once you grabbed it from him, he reached across you to the table. You blushed at the feeling of having him so close, draped across you.
He grabbed the two pills and held them out to you. “Please take them. I promise it’ll help. Especially in the morning.” His eyes dig into yours in his best endeavor to persuade you away from your stubbornness.
You took the pills from him and took them with a swig of water. The feeling of being taken care of and looked after was comforting, but you were also embarrassed from being babied.
“Thank you,” Danny said sweetly.
The blush you wore grew as you realized he had dropped his hand to rest right above your knee. You felt his hand twitch slightly once you noticed the placement, but he never moved away from you.
“Thanks, mom,” you tease in an attempt to lighten the nerves inside of you. You think it works until he laughs at the joke and pulls away right after giving a small squeeze. You watch his reaction, secretly proud that you somehow made him genuinely laugh through his sleep deprivation.
Once the laughter dies down, you settle back into silence. You can sense the tension in Danny’s body language. He focuses on his hands as he picks at his cuticles. He licks his lips and clears his throat nervously to prepare his next sentence.
“Thank you, for checking on me today.” His voice had lowered to a whisper again. “Both times, I guess. It felt nice to know someone noticed that something was wrong, but I’m sorry to make you worry.”
You were slightly shocked to hear the openness in his admission. He had seemed so closed-off all day that this was a bit of a change in pace.
“You don’t have to apologize, Danny. You’re my best friend.”
He cracked a smile at you. “And you’re mine.”
“You know you can talk to me, right?”
He nodded. “I know,” he breathed. “I appreciate you so much, Bip.”
He always sensed the times that using that nickname would make you smile. You ran your finger around the rim of his glass that you were still holding. This was another time you wished you knew what he was thinking. This moment didn’t feel completely platonic, but you didn’t want to be the one to bring it up and potentially ruin what friendship you did have.
But you couldn’t deny the obvious feelings blooming for him.
“Sometimes,” he started again, breaking you away from your thoughts. “-it’s a little hard to talk about how I’m feeling, ya know?”
Of course you knew. You knew with every fiber of your being how he was feeling, but you didn’t respond, egging him to go on.
“I’m so used to taking care of other people that it’s difficult to process when others want to take care of me,” he finished.
“The helper needs help too,” you say. “It takes practice to get used to it, but you do so much for me, for all of us. You’ve got to let us reciprocate that.”
You could almost see the gears turning in his head as your words soaked in. He nodded and took a deep breath.
You hesitated before asking. “Do you want to talk about what has been bothering you?” You felt the tension return, and you immediately regretted asking. “You don’t have to-“
“I need to,” he interrupted. He silently sorted through his thoughts, trying to come up with a sentence that described all of his emotions. You could tell he was trying to not talk himself out of the conversation completely. “I don’t feel like I’m part of the band.”
There it was. The thing that has been bothering him for God knows how long. It was finally in the open, and he needed to talk about it.
“W-what? Danny, they love you.”
“They say that, yeah. I just don’t feel it sometimes.” He shifted his concentration to a string that was loose on his shirt. “The guys get front stage, I sit in the back. Sometimes I don’t even get a light that shines on me.” He sighed. “When it comes to concert outfits, the designers rarely even ask for my input because people won’t see me as much. It’s depressing.”
You opened your mouth, but he wasn’t finished.
“I feel like I’m a manager more than anything. I mean…you saw them today in the studio. It’s like that all the time. I didn’t even get a say in anything today, but the only reason they stopped arguing is because I reminded them that they could just use their other riffs and melodies in future songs.” His breath faltered once he cut himself off, and you could hear the tears forming.
You reach over to grab one of his hands away from the string he had been distracting himself with and rested your clasped palms on his leg. It wasn’t until then that he looked up at you.
“Danny, you have got to talk to them about this. I don’t know when, or how, but you need to. I noticed the way they treated you today, and you don’t deserve that. But I also know that they probably don’t realize that what they’re doing is hurting you. They’d want you to speak up.” You end your words by squeezing his hand.
He rubbed his thumb against yours, choosing to forego a verbal response.
“You're their best friend. They would do anything for you, just as you’d do anything for them. They are so lucky to have you, Danny.” Sincerity was dominant in your voice as you corrected yourself. “We are so lucky to have you.”
You two sat, shoulders pressed together, hands clasped as one, for a few silent minutes. You felt at peace knowing that he felt comfortable confiding in you. His fingers being intertwined with yours made you feel connected to him, in more ways than you could describe.
“I- I don’t know what I’d do without you, Y/N.”
Of all things, that was not on the list of things you expected to hear come from him. You grin at him to try to mask the butterflies in your belly, which were growing every passing second. You hoped he didn’t take your silence as discomfort because that was far from what you were feeling.
He shifted beside you and started to stand from his place on the couch. The disappointment from the idea of him getting up made your blood run colder than it had been. You frowned to yourself, but quickly straightened your face.
“I could make some tea before I try to go lay back down. It might help the both of us go to sleep,” he chuckled.
And just as fast as your smile faded, it reappeared. He was back to the same ole Danny that cared so deeply for others.
“That sounds great, yeah.”
He started walking towards the kitchen, but he didn’t let go of your hand until he absolutely had to. You heard him laugh softly once your grasps were ripped from one another from the distance growing between you. While he started to make the tea, you thought to yourself, replaying the conversation in your mind while you patiently waited for him to return.
You had already started to drift in and out of sleep by the time he was done making the tea. He tried to lightly set the cup on the table beside you, but the soft clink made your eyes snap open fully.
“Looks like you don’t even need the tea anymore,” he taunts.
A laugh was forced out of you as you yawned. “And let all your hard work go to waste? Never.” You grabbed the cup and sipped away at the warm liquid. The drowsiness you were experiencing only escalated once the chamomile tea entered your system. You two carried on soft whispers of sleepy conversation until you had finished your beverages.
He took the cups to the sink and washed them as quietly as possible. You had rested your head on the back on the couch with heavy eyelids. He was wiping his hands as he hesitantly asked, “Do you…wanna sleep in my bed?”
You couldn’t hide the smile that crept onto your sleepy face. “As long as you’ll let me cuddle you like old times.”
“I don’t see how that benefits you, but I’m always down if you’re offering,” he shrugs and grabs the blanket you had been lying under. There was a baby pink tint on his cheeks that you couldn’t see. “Come on.”
Once you had transported your belongings to his room, you climbed under the warm comforter and blankets. He had turned on a fan, knowing that you slept best with white noise. As promised, he scooted as close to you as he could, his back flush against your chest. You brought one of your arms to rest under your head and play with his hair while the other arm was draped across his waist.
As you let your mind and body rest, you smiled at the familiarity of this position, having done this countless times before during sleepovers and movie nights at your apartment. Though, there was something different about it this time.
He was clutching the hand that you had placed over his belly.
————
>>>part IV
taglist (click here to join!): @gretavanflowerpower @joshkiszkas @teenagesublimefan @streamsofstardust @fireandsaltydogs @gretavanflipflop @kdarling1 @greta-van-chaos @stardustingold
Where I just rant about why I love each one so much at varying degrees.
ISWM Countdown- 5 Days.....
5- Dr. Iplier
I’ve already touched up on this a bit on previous posts for the countdown. The biggest contributor to my adoration for him is his gap moe. Because if we’re just going to look at how he is in Worst News Doctor... ngl I don’t like him that much. He’s one of the bigger non-main egos who actually goes through a character arc of sorts. Dr. Iplier is cool in how he just consistently goes out of his way to say... the worst news possible to his patients before actually giving his diagnosis. How he says it with a straight face. Then there’s another facet where he’s actually seen to be aggressive when his role is threatened, as seen in Markiplier TV when Wilford says “Wilford knows what’s best”. A bit vain but he is proud of his job.
He grows to be a bit more blunt but says rather inaccurate diagnosis in Markiplier TV but when you listen to his dialogue at the end, it just seems like this is what he likes to do. Breaking the bad news to someone even if the situation doesn’t call for it. It’s like those villains who rehearse or get excited while doing their monologues. It’s fucking cute. Then there’s My Therapist and good lord does he look and act different. He’s dressed down, more casual, and a lot more open to talking to the patient. Makes a shit ton of dad jokes. Incredibly dorky and gosh... gap fucking moe alright. I love that shit. He just doesn’t act like how we’ve usually seen him, he’s a lot more relaxed, less rigid and that just adds to his charms.
4- Yancy
I’m pretty sure a lot of fans can understand why we like him. I don’t need to further explain because there’s already a lot of posts out there explaining each and every detail about him that is adorable, interesting, and cute....n dorky...n loveable. Just don’t underestimate his dancing skills. Love you theatre kid.
Higher than Dr. Iplier for the natural dork energy. Lower than top 3 because a lot of his story is laid out for us. 9/10 would give a smooch. Deducted a point for scaring us half to death in the cell.
I’m not gonna expand on why I love him but the way he sang “Break out? of this place?” the way Mark decided on how to deliver those lines and sing them. Shit that’s some good content.
3- The Host
It’s pretty weird that I like this bastard who has less than a minute’s worth of screen time over the 8 or so years of their existence. It’s very hard to explain why I like him so much but I can at least put some of that affection into words. One of the main things I’d say is Danger in Fiction was a really good origin story. We got to see him as the Author who is this temperamental control freak and the contrast of who he used to be to what we know as the calm, collected, possibly omniscient Host is interesting. That transition from A to B is “???” but seeing such a huge change in personality really captured my attention. Danger In Fiction also really made me wish Mark played downright villainous roles more and I beg thee Mr. Markiplier, please play more outright menacing, insane characters. Please be part of a horror movie cast, my fan heart has been wishing for it for so long.
Another reason why I like the Host a lot is his entire look. In the now private video of his first appearance, he is creepy. The dark room whose only light source is from the screen, then seeing this not quite human looking thing with bloody bandages over their eyes moving in an unnatural yet flowy way. That expression on his face that’s somewhere between a neutral position and a slight curve into a smile. I love all of it. He looks and moves like he came out of a horror movie. A similar design I can think of is the Janitor from Little Nightmares.
There’s also his powers. The ability to narrate everything that is going on is so fascinating! Underutilized in canon but it makes for interesting scenarios. We don’t even know the limits of his ability. Does he narrate the most important events in the room? Does he actually have the ability of foresight? IS he omnipotent? Omniscient? Maybe he has control over it or is he a slave to his own powers?
I’m always just so curious about him. What he is, who he used to be, what he could be. He just itches my need for knowledge. Because we don’t know him all that well, our brain is using what info we have to fill in that gap. It’s like playing a puzzle game but for a character. He’s so underappreciated and I can’t help but cry out inside. Incorrect quotes and fanfics set at Markiplier TV HQ are my only hopes of seeing him.
Also god, back in the olden days people were fucking confused whether the Author and The Host were the same people or different. Dark’s fan wikia page even had the Host for his photo. Do you guys remember that? It was the wild west during his time, let me tell ya.
Someone made a post here in tumblr about how some story beats of Danger In Fiction and the whole WKM series is similar and that post got me thinking, u right.
Reason I love the host: It’s the potential
Mark on The Host: He’s a radio host | Who owns him
As a Host fan I’m really sad we most likely won’t ever see him become a fully fleshed character in canon but we can still have fun with our fanfics. It still hurts though.
2- Damien
I will never get over how much this man deserved the world and more. He’s such a fine piece of work and if you’re in the Markiplier fandom, and you don’t like him, even just a bit, what is wrong with you.
Mark has created an angel. A beautiful ray of sunshine. Our bouncing baby boy. He is beauty, he is grace, and he is the first Y/N stan in this household. Kind, compassionate, a natural born leader, he has so many good qualities and I’m blinded thinking about how good he is. How happy he is to see us, an old friend. How he is willing to stake his life for our, and William’s innocence. He’s just so humane, so grounded and I have hearts in my eyes, oh wow.
Can we talk about his fit? This mayor is wearing a clean and well fitted suit, the slicked back hair, the stylish cane he brings around, a flower, and a comically cute mayor pin. He looks so clean and a little bit goofy with the pin. He deadass makes me do that giggle when you have a cute crush on someone.
Talked a bit about his personality earlier but I really love just how cute his overall vibe is. Warm, gentle, compassionate. An altruistic and noble fella. Damien is like a steady rock, the calm before a storm. He makes you feel grounded in the whirlwind mess that is the Manor. The way that he cares until the bitter end. He is too good to be true. All of who he is can be explained in 5 words “Life is ours to choose”. I may be romanticizing him too much but shush. Let me have this. Even with all the things I said, I really like his unexpected traits. Like him being a confused mess and a party animal.
Can I also say how dare you Mark. So many of the scenes involving him are in bright places and in incredibly romantic aesthetically pleasing places (referring to romanticism, not to a romantic relationship). So much of the initial attraction viewers feel is based on the places you meet him solo. The second floor hallway near the stairs with the bright light, the dark pavilion contrasted with the light stairway railing, and outside walking with him along the vivid silver, yellows, and whites surrounding you. Intentional or not it makes me punch the air because he’s just so loveable.
Then there’s his place in the storyline. How tragic it is for someone so far away from this mess yet so intertwined with it became a villain without having a choice in the matter. Friends with the Colonel and Actor, younger brother of the Seer. The only one of the four not part of the messy love that the others are in. The one who still tries to connect with the three after all that’s happened even if the others don’t want to make up. Lost his friends, lost his own body. Confused, angry, and yet... he still wants to do what he believes is right. For the greater good. The end justifies the means. He makes it way too easy to forgive him even after what he did to us. Even if he isn’t as pure as the driven snow...
I do love myself some tragic characters. Ones that the fans are like “They didn’t deserve this!” but then again... do any of the main characters deserved their fates?
10/10 would smooch and marry. Best boyfriend material among them. He and the DA would’ve made for an amazing and cute power couple.
.
.
Before we get to my number one let’s list down the Honorable Mentions:
Googleiplier: Actually before the existence of AHWM, he was in my top 5. and before ADWM he was my number one. I kid you not I have an unfinished fanfic of him somewhere. Times have changed bud. I still love your deadpan comedy. “so if you could take some of these” *flips Bing off* “and go away”. Technically Dr. Iplier and him are both my #5 but Dr. was just very slightly higher than Googs.
Yandereiplier: Hey, I had a very huge yandere character obsession phase at the time (it mellowed out over the years but I still like the archetype) plus the red hair, plus the seifuku. Once again, a character that used to be in my top 5 before ADWM.
Actor! Mark: I was never a huge fan of him but I really liked him. He has red as his colors and I am naturally attracted to this (red and black always get me) so that was a bonus point. I love charismatic (maybe even an asshole) villains, even if you don’t think he is, Actor is. I also love underappreciated, and misunderstood characters.
There’s also the possibility of his character arc branching out into absolute bastard or possibly redeemed villain. That’s appealing. Whether he is sincere or not in the ADWM & AHWM series is always something you can debate but I find it fascinating how some fans allow certain egos to willingly manipulate them but not Actor. Story wise, as the viewer, he really doesn’t do anything directly to us in WKM, any hate towards him is because of outside info. But to our character, he didn’t do anything to rouse our ire. And while I am ranting about him like this, to the point where you might think why isn’t he in the top 5 well... You can rant a lot about a character you don’t necessarily love y’know? I just find him really REALLY fascinating. Dr. Iplier is close to being dethroned depending on how Actor will portray himself in ISWM.
2 of 3 of the honorable mentions are closely tied to the color red lol.
And considering my type in this list... number one goes to
.
.
.
Darkiplier
I uhh... got super embarrassed after I wrote like a 2k+ word count thing for him and went back and forth between keeping it up or not but if you want to go and read it go over here [I love Dark maybe a bit too much].
It got personal. Eheh....
.
.
TL;DR
Dr Iplier- contradictory characteristics very cool
Yancy- I love him your honor
The Host- lots of underutilized character potential that will never see the light of day
Damien- he’s an angel and maybe I shouldn’t see him that way but I can’t help it
Dark- it’s a complicated and long commitment relationship. Stupidly hot non-human ugh.
I loved the one-shot of Josuke with a female S/O that has ADHD. Could I request one where the S/O has been trying to get up the nerve to tell Josuke about her ADHD diagnosis (even though the inattentive symptoms have always been obvious) and she’s nervous about how he’s going to react but she blurts it out and he comforts and reassures her? Thank you so much!!
You walked out of your therapist’s office, your head spinning with the news you were just given. You had a feeling you weren’t neurotypical, but always convinced yourself it was nothing—you just had your quirks, that’s all.
Being diagnosed with ADHD wasn’t a bad thing by any means—you now had a label to use to describe certain actions, but you were petrified at the idea of telling others about this new diagnosis. You weren’t sure why, but something nagged at your brain at the thought of telling your loved ones the source of some of your social and mental struggles. Maybe it was because being diagnosed meant this was permanent. There was no growing out of it. This was you. Forever. And that scared the hell out of you.
You bit your lip, fingers kneading together in a useless attempt to calm yourself down. You needed to take your mind off of your own stupid thoughts on this.
Letting out a shaky breath, you pulled out your phone and texted the only person you could think of. You asked to come over. He said you were always welcome.
You headed straight there, shaky fists knocking on the door. Josuke’s mother answered the door, a smile on her face. “Come in, Josuke’s in his room playing his video games, as always. I made enough dinner for all of us if you wanted to stay.”
You bowed. “Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ll be sure to ask my mother if it’s okay for me to stay for dinner.”
With that, you headed to your boyfriend’s room, opening the door to find him on the floor, controller in his hand as he mashed buttons. “Hey,” he greeted, eyes focused on the video game.
“Hey,” you replied, voice cracking. You felt tears prick at your eyes.
Immediately, he paused his game, setting the controller aside as he sat on his bed and pat the spot beside him. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Sit down.”
You plopped down, head resting against his shoulder as tears began to spill from your eyes. “I. . . I just found out something about myself.”
He wrapped an arm around you, rubbing your arm. “What is it? You know you can tell me anything. That’s what I’m here for. I love ya.”
You nodded. “I know, I just. . . I don’t want you to leave me.”
He shot you a look of surprise. He scoffed. “I would never leave you! You’re not getting rid of me that easy!”
You let out a shaky sigh. You wiped your eyes, taking a deep breath in. There was nothing left to say but what you came here for. “I. . . I was just formally diagnosed with ADHD. It’s. . . a mental disorder.” At that term, you cringed. It sounded so. . . bad when you said it like that. There was something wrong with you mentally? You knew it was just a term, but still. It rubbed you the wrong way.
Josuke let out a sigh of relief. “Is that it? You had me scared for a second! I thought you had cancer or somethin’!” He pulled you into his lap, wrapping you in a tight hug. “Thank God you’re okay!”
You sniffled. “Do. . . do you not care? I know I’ve always been kind of scatter-brained, and do things differently than most people, but this means that I’ll. . . really never change.”
He planted a kiss on your cheek, shooting you a goofy smile. “I wouldn’t want you any other way! Don’t be stupid, I love you for you. All of you. All of your quirks. I told ya, you’re not gettin’ rid of me!”
You smiled for the first time since your diagnosis. “God, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
He shrugged. “Good thing you won’t have to find out. Now let’s go eat. I’m starving.”