#because none of my friends listened to them too

[aemrsy]

Jake Webber x reader you guys start to become really close ur Tara’s friend so you are always around and he starts to develop a huge crush on you

sugary love

a/n: this is so much longer than i usually write but this request really inspired me so here it is!!!

summary: you and jake are forced to be alone together because tara bailed but it ends extremely well for you two

tw: none

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you recently started doing youtube and it was really working out for you the people loved you. when you started growing in popularity you attended influencer parties and got to know alot of really cool people one of them being tara yummy, you guys had alot in common when it came to your content and the way you dress so naturally you grew really close to her which meant you were always around her friends.

her ex boyfriend jake and her had a really close relationship which shocked you but the more you hung out with them the more you realized they were actually just friends there wasn't any tension between them the friendship felt real and genuine.

tara and zach from the dropouts podcast that she works as a co-host on have been dating for about a month now and she's been telling you all about it their relationship is so adorable and you love hearing all about it but sometimes it just makes you wanna crawl in a hole and die because of how single you felt seeing them together but it was nice to see tara happy.

jake had a food stream scheduled for you, him and tara which you were really excited about because it was the first food stream you'd be in.

you've been in lots of videos with jake, johnnie and tara and they've been in many of yours but you've never been in one of jake's signature food streams.

you were currently on your way to jake's house and you got a call from tara, you picked up anxiously in the backseat of your uber hoping that the uber driver wouldn't be all ears listening to the conversation you were about to have.

"hey tar, what's up?"

you said starting the conversation you assumed she'd say she's running a bit late or she can't find anything to wear.

"y/n i'm so sorry girl, but i can't come today i've got a date with zach it didn't cross my mind when i made plans with jake. i just called him and he said it was fine but i wanted to let you know i won't be there today"

this was the first time that you and jake were gonna be alone you two are close but weirdly you haven't hung out alone at all so you were in for an awkward time when you got there.

"shit ugh it's fine it's okay, i hope you have a really good time with zach tonight and you better tell me all the gorey details when you get home babe."

you said with a laugh, you two said you're goodbyes over the phone after that and it didn't take that much longer before you got to the house.

you got there and knocked on the door and you admired the surroundings of the house while you waited, who knew jake would keep his front yard so clean?

jake swings the door open taking you out of your thoughts. you looked up at him he was wearing a black tank top and his 'no name' pj pants you let out a sigh of relief after seeing that he wasn't wearing anything too fancy because you were wearing an off the shoulder crop top and sweat pants which was a pretty lazy outfit for you.

he had the car keys to his tesla in his hands. when he went to greet you he took you in for a hug and you felt the cool metal of the car keys on your back.

when you two pulled away from the hug you spoke up,

"i haven't had breakfast i'm starving..what are we eating today?"

it was noonish but it was normal for you to skip on breakfast you just had lots of snacks to make up for it.

you and jake were already walking to the car he opened the car door on the passenger side motioning for you to get in and you did exactly as you were told.

before he shut the door to get in on his side he grabbed the roof of the car door leaning forward to answer your question.

"i was thinking crumbl cookie? i haven't done this week's crumbl review yet"

your eyes lit up you had the biggest sweet tooth ever and you fucking loved cookies so much, you nodded vigorously.

"oh my god yes! i love crumbl"

jake chuckled seeing your childlike excitement. he made his way around the car and got into the driver's seat, as he started driving off you looked out the window awkwardly fiddling with a strand of your hair.

jake couldn't keep his eyes off you which made it hard to focus on the road he thought you looked absolutely stunning (like he always does). the car ride was silence with lots of tension and awkwardness hanging around the air, you made it to crumbl before it got too awkward thankfully.

jake reached out and put his hand on the back of your seats head rest looking back as he parked the car.

this did something to you and you couldn't help but admire how he looks so focused so careful, before you could look away his eyes caught yours he smirked as your face turned a bright pink.

you looked away cursing yourself under your breath. he spoke up sensing your embarrassment,

"well we're here"

you look over at him and he's pursing his lips waiting for you to respond.

"yeah yeah um i'm just gonna.."

you go to open the car door but he grabs your wrist firmly enough for you to stop but not too harsh he quickly got out of the car to open the door for you.

"wow jake what a gentleman"

you said teasingly as you nudged his arm a little, he chuckled closing the car door behind you before you both made your way into the place.

as soon as you got in there the smells were heavenly, you took a deep breath taking it all in while jake made his way over to the counter to order.

the flavors this week were milk chocolate chip, confetti milkshake, galaxy brownie, strawberry cupcake and snicker doodle.

your mouth watered at the sight of the box when jake picked it up from the counter.

you grabbed it from him as if it were your first born child and rushed over to the car with him.

the two of you sat down in the car, jake was setting up his phone to start streaming, you pulled out the mirror on the passenger seat side fixing your hair and reapplying your lip gloss.

jake looked over at you his heart thumped a little louder as you pursed your lips forward after finishing.

"you look so pretty"

he blurted out he was a little embarrassed saying something so risky but he played it off cool.

you too tried to hide the fact that you were extremely flustered and you looked at him to reply,

"thanks jake you don't look too bad yourself"

you placed a hand on his face pinching the flesh of his cheek as a grandma would to her grandchild .

jake rolled his eyes playfully and started the stream,

"hey chat! today we're gonna be trying this week's crumbl cookies with the very special miss y/n"

he motioned over to you and you waved smiling at the camera.

the two of you tried all the cookies and were very satisfied with most of them this week's batch did not dissapoint at all.

you were finally on your last cookie of the day before ending the stream it was the galaxy brownie one the one you were most excited for,

jake picked it up splitting it in two and he gave you the bigger half. your heart melted at the gesture you gave him a big genuine smile that was a silent 'thank you'.

you guys both took big bites of the cookie and nodded in approval together just enjoying the chocolatey goodness.

jake looked over to you and his eyebrows furrowed ,

"hey you got some on your face"

you frantically tried to find the spot to wipe it off but you failed miserably.

"here let me"

jake said before reaching out and wiping it off your face. his thumb lingered on your lips for a moment you couldn't get over the way he was looking at you it's as if he was saying 'i really want to kiss you' with his eyes your heart was beating out of your chest at this point.

you both were suddenly very aware that you were still on stream and it took you out of the trance you were in. he swiftly moved his hand away clearing his throat awkwardly.

you curiosly looked at chat letting out a barley audible gasp as you read what was being said,

y/nluvr: bro the sexual tension omg

jakewebbersgf: the eye contact??

iluvjakeandjohnnie: he's literally in love with her

tarashoe: i ship so hard wtf

you gave jake a knowing look and he opened his mouth to speak so he could wrap up the stream before it got too messy.

"okay guys so i think we're gonna wrap it up here love ya so much byee"

you waved bye to jake's phone camera before setting your hands down in your lap and fiddling with your fingers nervously.

jake notices your nerves and tries to push down his own nerves as he speaks,

"so uhm.."

his nerves get the best of him and he can't think of anything to say.

you on the other hand had a wave of bravery and confidence wash over you and you shake your head in a 'i might regret this' kind of way looking into his eyes and leaning in, your lips touch for a second.

he grabbed your face and pulled you in again this time it was passionate and loving you felt bliss.

when the two of you pulled away you were all giggly like teens that just had their first kiss.

his hands were rested on your cheek yours on the nape of his neck.

"so does this mean i don't have to give you the lengthy story of how i've liked you for so long and i was scared to say anything.. because i think that kiss just said it for me"

he said smiling down at you,

"yeah, do you think your kisses can do all your talking? because that was fucking amazing"

you said with a teasing chuckle. he slid his hands down your body resting them against your waist and pulling you in for another kiss.

the rest of the day was spent talking about your feelings towards each other not knowing you were about to be the internet's next 'it' couple and now everyday on you anniversary you'd get crumbl cookie as a reminder of this day.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　

#jake and johnnie #jake webber #jake webber x reader #johnnie guilbert x reader #tara yummy x reader #jake webber x y/n #jake webber x you

[nakunakunomi]

🕱 Lovebites Masterlist 🕱 this is a VAMPIRE AU event 🕱 ☽☽ Character: Ace (One Piece) x Gn Reader ☾☾ ✩ Requested by: anon ✩ [Fluff/humor]✩ Warnings: none ✩

Ace was pouting on the couch. A full-on pout, eyebrows furrowed and lips turned downwards. His knees were pulled up, and he was resting his elbows on them, looking straight ahead. You would almost be feeling bad for him, if it weren’t so exasperated about the reason for his pout: the delicious meal that you had been eating up until a few minutes ago.

You had been preparing for an evening in alone: your boyfriend was supposed to be away with his brothers -that’s what he called two of the vampires that were turned around the same time as him, they always hung out together doing what they called ‘mischief’. You never asked, since you were about ninety percent sure their mischief consisted of at least a handful of illegal activities. But they stayed out of trouble enough to never bother you with it, and Ace truly seemed to cherish the time spent with his brothers, so you always let him go and listened to all the stories he told when returned after such a day, while you just enjoyed some precious alone time.

So you had taken a long shower, put on your comfiest sleepwear, and ordered some takeout while looking through your streaming services for something to binge this evening. You had finally made a decision when the takeout arrived, and you were only halfway through when the doorbell rang.

You were a little annoyed: your episode was just getting good, and the doorbell took you straight out of the immersion. Furthermore, you weren’t expecting anyone, so whoever it was, better had a good reason for making you get up from your comfy spot. You put your food on the coffee table and wrapped a blanket around yourself on the way to the door, very surprised to see your boyfriend standing there.

You stepped to the side to let him in, too baffled to even say something about his presence, and he came in with a sigh, starting a whole story about how Luffy had gotten into some trouble, but instead of asking him and Sabo for help, he had enlisted the help of some of his own friends. You didn't know these people, but from Ace's stories, you had been able to conclude they were a pretty eccentric bunch with a fierce loyalty to each other and a tendency to make more problems before they got around to fixing them.

The plans they originally had though, were canceled because of Luffy's trouble, and thus Ace had returned home, to you, ready for an evening of snuggles on the couch instead. You were not going to lie, you were a little miffed about the whole situation. You loved Ace, more than anything in the world, but you liked your alone time as well. Nevertheless, he could never be a true bother, and you turned off your show in favor of some background music that you both liked.

"I still need to finish my food though, if you don't mind." You sat down on the couch again with your takeout, taking another bite, happy to notice it was still warm.

"Of course, no worries, I will go get changed into something more comfortable", Ace said as he made his way to your bedroom, undoubtedly just to take off his pants and join you on the couch in his favorite leisure clothing: just his boxers. You chuckled and let him go, finishing you dinner in the meantime.

Ace joined you on the couch a few minutes later, jumping over the back of the couch and literally plopping down next to you, grabbing a fluffy blanket and snuggling close. He made you laugh with his antics and his smoothness, and you leaned onto him a little, turning to kiss him when he suddenly backed off.

"Y/n.... really?" 

He sounded disappointed? angry? you weren't exactly sure what he sounded like, but you were sure it was not positive. You were super confused as to why he was reacting like this too. You didn't say or do anything weird or sudden, and he seemed eager to snuggle just a few seconds ago.

"What's up, Ace?" you asked, an eyebrow raised in confusion as you saw him look at you with something you could only describe as mild disgust.

"You ate something with garlic in it?"

"Oh"

You didn't eat garlic around Ace, a sacrifice you had to make the minute you found out he was a vampire. Unlike in stories where garlic was deadly to vampires, Ace's reaction was more akin to a bad allergy. Nothing too bad, definitely inconvenient enough for him to completely give up on it, and to ask you don't consume any on days you were together. It was not a super big sacrifice, although you sometimes missed certain dishes that used it, and you made a habit of only ordering such dishes on days when Ace was out of the house, like today. You didn't know he'd be back earlier.

Which led to Ace as he was now. It was quite a sight to behold: a fully grown man sulking on the couch like a toddler. You had to do your best not to chuckle at the sight. Ace was a pretty affectionate person, and not being able to kiss and cuddle you on an evening together without being in severe discomfort was akin to torture for him. It was a little funny -the sight- but you did feel kind of bad for him.

"Would it help if I drank some and brushed my teeth really well?"

"Probably not", he sighed, "even if you use mouthwash... it always lingers a while."

You sighed as well.

"Well, it'll be distant cuddles tonight then. And I'll make up for it tomorrow."

"How?"

"Well, we both have another day off... so maybe we could have a cosy date day, and we can spend the whole day enjoying each other's presence?"

His face changed immediately, a twinkle of happiness immediately appearing in his eyes, no matter how much he tried to act as if he was thinking it over.

"I suppose I could live with that."

You chuckled.

"Then that is a plan"

#one piece #ace x reader #portgas d ace #portgas d ace reader #op ace #one piece ace #one piece ace x reader #reader insert #one piece imagine #portgas d ace x you #ace x you #ace x y/n #gn reader #genderneutral reader #2nd person pov #vampire au #au #fluff #humor #cute #romance

[rocksibblingsau]

Wow, I rlly like the way you wrote for Techno Branch’s relationships with the other trolls! I wanted to ask if you could do one for a country branch (Delta Dawn, Holly Darling, Gust Tumbleweed, maybe even Clampers!)

P.S. Have a headcanon that when Delta and Holly meet Brozone, they give them the worst guilt tripping ever imagined because it was DESERVED (and Gust couldn’t even feel bad for them as a bonus lolol) It would take ‘em years to recover 😊

Thank you! I can do that!

Delta Dawn would be his adoptive mom in my version of Country Branch. She's immediately worried for this small grey child. A lot of people headcanon that Branch is underweight for his age, but I like the idea that after their doctor visit, both she and the doctor worry about just HOW underweight he is... before realizing it's because he has half the amount of legs they do.

She still tries to feed him a lot. I think she'd be a lot like my grandma in that if you step in her house she's going to attempt to feed you. Branch visits her as an adult and she insists he eats and take home some leftovers.

Clampers looks up to him. She doesn't get why he looks different, so she ends up asking a lot of questions. By this point Branch is either a late teen/adult, so he ends up using this to sorta mess with her.

Clampers: Why don't you have all your legs? Branch: I didn't listen to my mama about being careful by the tractors.

Clampers: Why are your colors so grey? Branch: I didn't eat my greens. Now finish your dinner.

Holly is very outgoing and would make it her goal to befriend Branch. Unlike Poppy (or Synth in the Techno Branch AU) however, Holly attempts to bond with Branch over working in the fields. Her generosity sort of scares Branch a bit, because he doesn't feel like he can ever do enough, so he talks to her a bit and asks if she could tone down the gifts. Holly learns a bit about Branch's love language (as he prefers to receive genuine words or acts rather than presents) and adjusts accordingly. Branch also learns that gift giving makes HER feel happy, and it's not a transaction, so he eventually accepts that Holly's a gift-giver. Branch is too (see The Giver) so he can sort of understand it.

She's absolutely a protective friend, and would do her signature guilt trip on all of BroZone. I also personally see her as they kind of person to say 'Well bless your heart [derogatory]'.

Gust and Branch are both pretty easy going and serious types, so I think they'd hit it off well! I could see Branch doing Gust's job pretty well, even, so I think Branch would fill in for him when he was sick or couldn't do it. Gust is the kind of guy who would see that Branch is grey/different and be like 'That don't bother me none, we both bleed the same'. It's not that he thinks differences don't matter, just that they shouldn't get in the way of treating someone with respect. No matter how different Branch is, Gust focuses on what they have in common. They're both trolls, they both appreciate order, and they both can't resist good pepper jelly.

#sibblings qna #country branch au #trolls branch #delta dawn #clampers #trolls clampers #holly darlin #gust t #gust tumbleweed

[licorice-lips]

Okay, so I was thinking about Snape and although I'm avoiding like hell speaking online about Harry Potter, I think it needs to be said because it falls onto the rest of fantastical literature as well, especially those stories that have parallels to fascism/nazism/colonialism in their magical world.

I'd like to start by saying I don't like Snape for a variety of reasons, some of them because of Rowling, others because of the character himself, and others because of his fans, but today I'd like to talk about how Snape's Redemption Arc actually sucks and why, and also about how we're treating redemption arcs as a whole.

Okay, so let's begin by making a sort of timeline on Snape's life: he grew up in an abusive household, suffered bullying by the Marauders through school years, bullied other students as well, called his best friend a slur, "apologized", joined a fascist hate group that actively persecuted and hurt people for things they had no control of, acted on behalf of this group for years, turned against the hate group not out of morals but because their actions began to threaten the people he cared about (like they always said they would, how shocking), bullied his teenage students as a grown adult, acted as a spy against the hate group when it came back, died.

Right, so before I dive into all those things, what we also have to add is that Art isn't made in a vacuum. Just like science can never be done by a completely neutral party, our productions of art are completely based off of our views, especially when we're talking about writing. As a writer myself, I can see exactly how my experiences as a person in the context I was born and grew up in affect my writing and my production of art.

For example, it's very common that I find enemies calling themselves by their last names in American/European fiction but in Brasil, we don't normally call people by their last names unless it's very unique and as a nickname. So when I write enemies, they always call each other by their first names, simply because it doesn't feel right to me any other way. On a more serious example, most of the countries in my fantasy books have some history of colonization or dictatorship because it's a part of my history and I feel it's impacts to this day, so it's something that reflects my own thoughts and ideas in politics.

So when we talk about Snape as a character, we cannot escape the fact that Rowling created him. And as a European author, it's more than clear —and that's especially obvious to people who suffer under colonization to this day— that Rowling has a deeply ingrained colonizer mentality. The goblins in Gringots are a clear and problematic representation of Jewish people, the domestic elves LIKING being enslaved and not changing the status quo by the end of the books, and even Hermione being ridiculed for her militancy on it — these are all representative of how Rowling views the world.

Although there's more, all of those examples make it clear that, when she looks at fascist ideology as a whole, Rowling doesn't think the ideology itself is the problem: the ending is the depiction of them getting rid of the "bad apples" instead of making the "roots of the tree" healthy again is parallel to blaming bad individuals for a system that is corrupted and therefore corrupts. So basically, what the Harry Potter books tell us by the end is that it's okay for you to perpetuate a racist system, just don't do it so openly. The problem for her is not the system, but these people she considers "bad apples" which is basically right-wing ideology.

And my problem with Snape starts here: because Rowling sees purist views as an acceptable way of thinking as long as you don't kill people because of it (because for some reason that's a step too far — but when the system oppresses, beat down, and hates on marginalized people, that's okay) — in her mind and in her writing, Snape's ideological affiliation earlier on in his life is not that big of a problem, especially when he "changes sides".

Snape's active participation in a hate group is dangerously and irresponsibly downplayed both by Rowling and by Snape's apologists and fans when this is, in reality, one of the two greatest offenses his character has to compensate for in his "Redemption Arc". So when he hesitates at nine yo to say to Lily that being a Muggleborn doesn't make a difference (even when he knows it does in a practical sense of what's happening in the Wizarding World), when he despises Petuney for being a Muggle, when he says to Lily that what he, Mulciber and their "death eaters" friends did to Mary McDonald was "just a laugh (btw, I'm sure the Marauders also think what they did was "just a laugh" as well), all of this is not only extremely reprehensible, it's the kind of thing that makes a fascist, a fascist.

And it's not that I don't believe teenagers cannot change their minds and grow with more ease than adults, it's just that this alone would've been enough grounds to understand why Snape's redemption arc sucks. His beliefs from early on, even before he goes to Hogwarts, are extremely problematic and hateful, and they uphold the very corrupted system that is perpetuated against Muggle-borns in the Wizarding World.

Then we reach the point I wanted to make: it's very clear throughout the books that child and teenager Snape struggles with feelings of deep hatred against his parents (especially his father, who's a Muggle), inadequacy in social life even among his peers (wizards and witches) and isolation, all of which make a person undeniably vulnerable to extremist ideology.

And here's my first issue with Snape and his Redemption Arc: his trauma and feelings should not be an excuse for his bad choices and yet, they are used exactly as such. Yes, Snape was an impressionable teenager and yes, he was influenced by an ideology in his desperation to fit in and find solace in a community, but that doesn't matter.

None of it matters because, at the end of the day, his actions for this ideology are just as harmful, just as awful, just as cruel, as the actions of someone who joined the Death Eaters for thoroughly believing Muggleborns were scum. He harmed people just as much as Yaxley, Mulciber, or any other Death Eater who joined Voldemort for their hatred just for his support alone.

And more than that, even if Snape was in a vulnerable state and impressionable, he was still receiving other kinds of influences, influences that were contrary to the bigotry and cruelty of Voldemort — and he still chose to ignore those influences. There was still a level of choice to what he became as a young adult.

But even if there wasn't, Snape is —or at least he should be— responsible for his own choices regardless of influence. As they say in the Kingdom of Heaven film, when you're before God and he asks you why you did something, you won't be able to say that others told you to do so or that it wasn't convenient to do the right thing — it'll not be enough. And it's not enough because your actions matter more than your intentions. Your actions will be the thing that will determine what happens next, not your intentions. It'll be actions that will shape your path and influence or directly impact the path of others around you, not your intentions.

The older I get, the more I understand the power of action and how it says more than any intention or feeling ever will. At the end of it, Snape's actions are what matters, not his feelings or intentions. But as humans, we're so prone to empathize with others that we actually believe that, because someone feels guilty or regrets the things they did, that's enough to forgive them.

We forget that it's not.

Earning forgiveness must come with 5 major steps —

Accountability — do they acknowledge the way their actions hurt us? Do they acknowledge the way they hurt us? Do they acknowledge their role in our pain?

Apologies — do they apologize? Is their apology sincere? Do they hold themselves accountable in their apologies?

Acceptance — do they feel entitled to forgiveness? Do they accept the consequences of their actions? Do they accept the boundaries you impose on the path to forgiveness?

Amends — Did they take steps to mend what's broken? Do they make choices to prevent them from doing this again? Do they try to help without crossing your boundaries?

Alteration — Did they change the behavior that hurt you? Did they take steps to improve themselves?

Those steps are fundamental in a Redemption Arc because it'll exemplify to the (young) readers what is forgivable and how forgiveness is earned, not deserved. That's what grits me the most about Snape's "Redemption Arc":

There is no accountability, at least not for joining and upholding a hate group, and we kinda get accountability for what he did in his friendship with Lily, but in a fucked up way, let's see:

It was nighttime. Lily, who was wearing a dressing gown, stood with her arms folded in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. “I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.” “I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just – ” “Slipped out?” There was no pity in Lily’s voice. “It’s too late. I’ve made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends – you see, you don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?” He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking. “I can’t pretend anymore. You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine.” “No – listen, I didn’t mean – ” “ – to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?”

It's very important to me that we dissect this piece of dialog because it shows a lot about Snape and how every time he's tried to apologize, there's no accountability.

He didn't say he's sorry he said that slur (to LILY and only Lily, might I add, when at all would've been ideal but I'll have some leniency because of the situation) — he's said he's sorry, but not for what he has done, just for Lily. He didn't take responsibility for his words as he should — he says it 'slipped out' or that 'he didn't mean, again just to LIly.

He accepted no boundaries Lily tried to impose — sleeping outside Gryffindor? Really?

Most importantly of all, he took absolutely ZERO steps to alter his behavior so that he could never harm someone again like he harmed Lily. And that's very important, I cannot begin to explain how: when we regret doing something, the most fundamental step to take in change.

Change is fundamental to forgiveness but it shouldn't be conditioned by it. If we regret doing something harmful, the first thing to do is to change our behavior. Instead, Snape not only doesn't change his problematic behavior, he doubles down on it, joining the hate group Lily pointed out as one of the main problems in why their relationship couldn't continue, acting in the name of said group for years and only backing down on it when Lily is threatened.

And that reveals something about Snape's worldview: for him, since that day he called Lily a slur, the problem wasn't that he was a bigoted piece of shit (like Lily said it was), the problem, in his head, was that he hurt Lily. And that's not true. The problem is, one hundred percent, his bigoted behavior, and Lily says as much, more than one time. He just does not listen to it. He doesn't listen to her.

More than that, though, you can try to point out that he redeems himself by acting against Voldemort but I'm sorry: what Snape did is not enough. He was part — and believed in — a hate group, it's not enough that he changes sides not because of values, but because one person who is being threatened is dear to him (which was the whole prerogative anyway so I failed to see how he's even surprised by this). You can say that this is good or honorable or "love" but it's not cute to base your entire life around one person.

It's not honorable to prioritize one person over a whole world he was threatening before and not caring at all about them. Disregarding other human beings in favor of one is not as pretty as people think it is and Snape represents this very well: it makes you bitter, it makes you become abusive, cruel, a bully to everyone else. It's not pretty, it's not understandable. Be a fucking decent human being, it's actually not that hard.

But I digress again: my point is, that just because Snape regrets the things he has done for Voldemort (not even out of morals, which drives me mad) it doesn't mean he deserves forgiveness. He doesn't and he hasn't earned it, he didn't even try. Actually, he's so stuck in his regret, he's harmful because of it: guilt is a trap, babes. It sucks you in if you let it and makes you miserable as well as anyone around you. You'll be so remorseful and yet you'll hurt people because of it.

And it's the same thing I've been saying since the beginning: we need to stop associating feelings with deserving forgiveness because you don't deserve forgiveness, you earn it. Either you earn it from someone else, from yourself, or from both, but either way, it's earned, not deserved. If I were to excuse my harmful behavior every time just because I regretted doing something instead of earning their forgiveness by taking steps to apologize to the people I've hurt, I would be compared to my father all the time. And THAT would've been an insult.

Anyway, let's just stop feeling sorry for characters, especially fascists, just because they regret something. Please, let us hold our characters accountable for the shit they've done adequately and make our writers actually put in the work to make them earn the forgiveness they crave instead of just wallowing in their own misery, stuck forever in a vortex of hurting and being hurt that sucks people in. It's not a good example for us readers, it's not a good example of behavior, it's not what a good person who did shitty things should strive to be and we shouldn't think it is.

#snape slander #severus snape bashing #anti severus snape #pro james potter #pro marauders #sirius black #writers #writers on tumblr #female writers #books #harry potter #hp fandom #severus snape #snivellus #james potter #the marauders #marauders era #james potter is actually a good person #i really hate snape #sorry not sorry

[racharii]

coming from an enby whos tme (tho i myself am not transmasc), i feel like a lot of transmasc people are doing this "have their cake and eat it too" thing where they want to be perceived as men or men adjacent, in our society a part of the oppressor class, while also still wanting to benefit from structures meant to protect against said class. specifically ones that have been set up in queer spaces. ive met quite a few trans men who were just as vehemently misogynysitic as your average dude bro. and (this is speculation based on convos ive had with trans men im not in every transmascs head) a lot of transmascs have a lot of internalized misogyny that they project onto trans women. ive had an irl ex friend of mine say something that i think encapsulates this particular issue fairly well. this was like 8 years ago, we were talking about trans rep in media (specifically orange is the new black iirc) so im paraphrasing; 'its messed up that we (afabs in this context) are sidelined for people who used to be men, we cant escape the patriarchy.' that was horribly transmisogynistic, so lets unpack it.

it assumes that trans women are just men

it assumes sex essentialism, that they and i were just women. that we were just poor Females having 'our space' encroached on by mean 'former men.'

im not saying that all transmascs think like this ofc. #notallmen. im saying that some do, and enough transmascs have internalized misogyny and not enough self reflection.

just because you are trans doesnt mean you are immune to bigotry and recouping oppressive structures. none of us are free of Sin™️. you as an individual have to make an effort to reflect on your thoughts and actions and how they might affect yourself and others, so that you are not a willing participant of our communities oppression.

for example, ive talked a lot privately about my journey to being a better person, (and pobodies nerfect, its always a learning process, you always will have things you can improve on. and thats okay, were all just human) i initially hated it/its pronouns. 'it' gave me the ick. i was called 'it' as a kid incessantly to make fun of my gender presentation, i couldnt fathom someone else finding peace and even euphoria in using it/its. i bought into the conservative talking points about neopronouns and it/its being detrimental to the trans community. they were "the bad transes" and me? well i use they/them but shakespeare used the singular they so im fine :), im one of the good ones. then one day, i was listening to some video essay idr what or who, but something they said stuck with me, "if it/its makes me happy, why do you care? how does 'it' hurt you really?" my trauma is not everyones trauma, people will find comfort in things that i wont, and thats okay. 'it' hurt me when i was young, by cruel kids and uncaring adults. why am i hurting my community, my fellow transes, by continuing to deny them their autonomy to identify how they like? so i got over 'it.' i saw the real harm was the fucking wedge being driven between us by conservative grifters trying to pick off the weakest in the herd before they go in for the rest of us.

visibility isnt necessarily a good thing for marginalized people. transfemmes are the biggest target of hate in our community atm. they unfortunately serve as the canary. global fascism is on the rise and to be frank, a targeted hate campaign against a trans woman is asking for her to be killed. outed, paraded as a freak, doxxed, swatted, killed. protect trans women, fascism doesnt stop with one group nor will you be saved by being "one of the good ones." trans solidarity, even the people you dont like, even if you think theyre icky or gross or whatever the fuck else you do Not give up trans solidarity. you dont make callout posts, you dont send death threats, you dont send hate mail, if you dont like someone Block Them and move on.

we stand together or we will be eradicated.

#sorry this turned into a rant about impending fascism #but its all connected #rach rants #real cut a liberal a fascist bleeds vibes here recently #also im not proof reading this so sorry for typos #trans

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HIII THABK U FOR THE TRIVIA AND ASHE SONG before i take forever 2 answer those or forget here is a blank ticket to please please talk about prime defenders and their AWFUL emotional literacy and processing skills i would literally love to read that essay so much ive also been thinking about it incessantly. big eyes staring up at u.png. ok ok peace out GOODNIGHT !!!! <33

i lied actually im not going to bed im judt thinking about this ans listening to St. John on a loop now. hello catkiss.gif i forgot how youve filled me with so much joy. that cat is so fuckign cute

anyway. hi :) prime defenders huh. this is gonna be less of an essay and more of a sleepy ramble but ohhh i have so many thoughts. they all process things so differently and none of them are good at it they all need therapy so bad. ms.g where is the hero therapy why didnt you build that into w.a.t.c.h ma'am

vyncent is probably the best at actually processing things out of all of them, he just internalizes everything to the point where he wont talk about it unless hes pushed past the breaking point. vyncent is actually very.. emotionally intelligent? i want to say mature but that feels like im singling him out because hes the oldest. i just feel like because he grew up on Fauna and had to be in basically survival mode in a world full of monsters trying to kill you.. that makes a person grow up quicker than they should. i think vyncent had a good childhood and for the most part his parents took good care of him but just.. living in that world doesnt seem like it leaves room for a whole lot of expressing emotions. vyncent is good at quick analysis of a situation, but unless a problem directly interferes with the current goal he doesnt externalize it to everyone else. but bottling up his feelings and emotions just builds up pressure over time until something like the lich makes him blow up and let it all out at once, usually in a dramatic monologue format bc condi is really good at those god damn it. also they played off the fact that vyncent said all of that to the lich and then missed his attack as a funny thing but i like to think of it as. he got too overwhelmed w his emotions and lashed out too soon it made his fighting messy. vyncent is so angry and honestly after what hes been through he deserves to be !!!!

william wisp. my boy. god hes just like me fr so much so that it physically hurts sometimes. anyway. i always think back to the scene where theyre all in the cabin talking about themselves/sharing backstories and william keeps desperately trying not to talk about himself. the fact that hes so ashamed of his powers he hides wisp form every time. two of his powers are LITERALLY a) turning invisible and b) turning intangible, usually as an excuse to leave whatever situation hes in ("accidentally" falling through the floor at opportune moments in season 1) . theres. a thing that happens at the end of episode 13/beginning of epidode 14 that youre really close to and i wont spoil yet but god it has to do with this so extremely much please come back to my inbox when you get there. youll know what it is trust me. um. yeah. so anyway. i think a lot of this comes from a place of. he doesnt want anyone to be scared of him. williams not stupid hes incredibly smart and insightful he knows his powers are objectively SCARY. hes scared of himself constantly, he doesnt want anyone else to feel that way about him, so he shifts focus whenever those aspects of himself are brought up because if someone were to think about it for any amount of time theyd realize the truth that hes scary and dangerous to be around (<< william logic. hey remember how one of the reasons he originally left deadwood was because the monsters there were attracted to the wisps and therefore Him so he left to keep his friends/family out of danger)

i think a lot about williams death and the immediate aftermath, i dont know how much you actually know and how much of this comes later but . how does he go home after waking up from that. his parents know about his powers, so they MUST know what happened. what do you think he told them when he god home muddy and dirty and broken and probably bloody after being missing for. god knows how long. how does he look his mother in the eyes and tell her her little boy is dead. but hes also not because hes standing right in front of her. how the fuck do you think he felt the first time he went into wisp form and saw his body laying there !!! of course he wouldnt want to talk about that!!!! youre gonna have to pry william wisps emotions from his cold dead hands !!!!!!!

dakota's response to the ashe situation was to run away in the woods and do nothing but train for 10 months. he didnt think about it for 10 months. i dont even have a whole lot to say about dakota other than like. stunned silence whenever his inability to process trauma is brought up because grizzly does such an incredible job at being like "you ask dakota how hes doing and his face is just blank" << paraphrased actual quote from an episode i cannot remember which one. either 11 or 12 ?

also because im thinking about him im including ashe in this. we didnt get to see a whole lot of his canon reactions to extreme emotional situations so a lot of this is just coming from My Mind but ashe seems like hed be the type to repress a lot of his emotions too. being alone in your house/in your room for extended periods of time will do that to a guy. i think he feels a lot of things and will probably very openly cry/scream/get angry when hes alone but as soon as he knows another person is there he can immediately flip the switch to turn it all off like nothing happened. very much a deadpan "im fine." if someone asks how hes doing, even if hes got like. the remainder of tear tracks down his face. cannot physically express his emotions in the presence of someone else

#very tempted to add a thing about the greats to vyncents section but i am not going to #anyway do u think it was weird for him to have the people he idolized in his brain. they knew things he thought #they felt things he felt they probably talked about it its no wormnder he keeps his emotions close to his chest etc etc etc #anyway. #im projecting a little bit on all of these can you tell. dont take any of this as canon i am fully like. #oh boy how can i put aspects of my godawful mental health practices on my favorite little superhero teens. #especially ashe be he has not a whole lot of canon basis . sorry ashe you get my emotion switch #asks #intertexts #friends!!! #jrwi pd #um!!! sorry i went off on the second william paragraph i think about the early stages of him gaining his powes a lot. #its the danny phantom in me #also that last sentence was especially mean of me sorry. i did yhat on purpose :) i love to be evil #OKAY. im going to bed for real now. i had 2 get this out of my system before i slept on it and forgot all the thoughts fresh in my mind

[teplejtrouba]

my psychiatrist confirmed that i am in fact autistic

#all of my friends were like 'no really?!!! i had no idea“ listen i know we all know but i wanted to know For Sure #she's very 'aspergers' and 'you're going to learn how to make eye contact' about it because czech psychiatry is... well #but overall the other stuff she said checks out and im happy I don't have to live in constant self doubt anymore #now she's not completely sure i have adhd tho because my attention is mostly normal according to tests #but she's also not opposed to me having both like it's definitely still possible she just wants to focus on mainly treating my anxiety rn #she was like 'so it would make sense that you're living in social isolation' #me with most friends I've ever had in my entire life: :-) #i was like 'no i have friends they just all have adhd or autism too' #i mean i am still socially isolated. i oftentimes feel like other people are living behind a glass wall and i can't reach them #but i took it literally in the 'you are alone and no one talks to you' sense #anyway #i am disappointed none of my friends sent me 'náš auťák' from the czech Grease dubbing #i have many feelings about this but they are difficult to put into words so autism creature gift shall suffice

[starryluminary]

Gwen is my girl forever. FOREVER. I’m on her side always and forever no matter what. I don’t care about her wrongdoing she can homewreck a little as a treat

Ran into the tag limit so here’s the rest of the rant:

DUNCAN HIT ON GWEN WHILE HE WAS HOLDING COURTNEY. OOOHHHHH MY GOD

HE NEVER SEEMED SORRY EITHER. THE SAD LITTLE SORRY HE GAVE COURTNEY WHILE COVERED IN SPAGHETTI WAS A PLATITUDE

Not to MENTION Gwen was the one to carry the relationship once it started

Gwen fought so hard to deny her feelings for Duncan but Duncan ultimately decided to reciprocate so she opened herself up to the relationship

Gwen was the one to start the talk about it being ok if he wanted to stop the situationship and lead them into taking it slow

Throughout that conversation all Duncan did and say by the way was kiss her and say “that’s why I like you” not adding anything of substance

And then what does he do. Pretend to still have feelings for Courtney in front of Gwen without telling her his plan so she gets her feelings hurt

Side note Duncan is a bastard and I hate him so much

Anyway my point is Duncan was so so so much worse than Gwen when it came to them getting together

But everyone dogpiled on gwen

Except Cody. Cody was sensible and knocked out Duncan thank you Cody

And DUNCAN MADE IT TO THE FINAL DAMN FIVE DESPITE BEING A BASTARD

WHYYYYY DID GWEN SUFFER MOST OF THE CONSEQUENCES WHYYYYYYYY

I think instead of throwing challenges so Gwen got eliminated Courtney should of kicked ass at challenges and watched as Duncan got kicked out of the plane

God. Gwen is my girl forever and ever and I’m on her side always

#total drama #total drama gwen #td gwen #Starry speaks #listen to me listen to me #from action forward she’s been done so so so dirty #island was HER season island was good to Gwen #BUT ACTION? #my girl was justifiably uncomfortable with Trent’s obsession on her #she was the mature one and broke up with him after Trent’s cheating on the game broke the camels back #then she gets the flack from the other team because Trent did it for her #TRENTS TEAM GOT MAD AT GWEN BECAUSE TRENT THREW CHALLENGES. WHAT. #and Gwen again being the best ever decided to even the playing field and throw challenges too #to make it up to them even though none of it was her fault and they got mad at her for no good reason #after throwing her team gets mad and votes her out fine ok whatever #THEN THE AFTERMATHS #‘team Gwen or team Trent’ OOHHHH MYYY GOD #ONE: TRENT KISSED HEATHER BACK DESPITE HIM KNOWING GWEN AND SEEING HEATHERS TREACHERY #TWO: HE STARTED ACTING COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL AT DUNCAN BEING A FRIEND TO GWEN; NOT HER FAULT SHES LIKEABLE #THREE: HE WAS THROWING CHALLLENGES!!!!!! HOW IS THAT GWENS FAULT??? WHY IS SHE BEING BLAMED FOR SOMETHING TRENT DID WRONG????? #side note Trent is my enemy #AND WHEN SHES INTRODUCED IN THE AFTERMATH THE AUDIENCE BOOS HER #FOR WHAT!!!! WHAT THE HELL DID SHE DO WRONG?!?!??? #WHY DOES TRENT GARNER SYMPATHY AND GWEN GET THE BRUT OF THE CONSEQUENCES #WHEN NONE OF IT WAS HER FAULT #now world tour #home wrecking is bad but do you know what’s worse. #CHEATING ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND #WHY WHY WHY WHY WAS EVERYONES ENERGY FOCUSED ON HATING GWEN WHEN DUNCAN DID THE WORSE THING #AT LEAST GWEN FELT REMORSE!!! AT LEAST GWEN TRIED TO PUSH HER FEELINGS DOWN FOR COURTNEY!!!!!

[literallyfault]

i have so many things to say but at the same time i am speechless. i've been sobbing and crying for the whole day straight. i have never thought a day would happen when i would feel this way because of a person i have never even known in real live the only regret i will have is that i didn't have a chance to meet him in person and just say "thank you. for inspiration. for dreams. for everything". i wish i did discover them much earlier but alas.

Reita, my dearest, may you rest in peace 💔 you will rock forever 🔥

#i am still in denial #it took me a whole day to proceed #literally the first thing i saw in the morning was “hey your favorite person have passed away” #literally yesterday i got so many gazette interactions for the first time in awhile and wanted to get back into a fandom oh dear #i didnt suspect anything yesterday when i saw his tweet like awww rei-chan is feeling nostalgic it seems me too NOW IT IS SO SUSPICIOUS #he was a reason i got into vk #he was a reason i finally started learning japanese #he was a reason i wanted to move to japan just to see their lives more often #i wish i did visit at least one #i literally started listening to them a month later they were in a world tour in 2019 #its been five years and it's finally seemed like lives are getting back but oh boi my dream of seeing them all together is none existent #i hope other members are fine #ruki is the main concern honestly he lost two closest friend so recently #i dont wanna speculate but i just hope everyone on is gonna be okay #and i know reita would be so angry with all of us being so sad because of him but it is so hard to comprehend #i still have so many things to say #reita #the gazette #れいた #ガゼット #visual kei #vkei #v系 #ヴィジュアル系

[youjustwaitsunshine]

this. is the second time. my roommates throw a party without telling me beforehand. not even a fucking text. Like with my uni shit needing to be done until monday evening i would have appreciated a little warning to go literally anywhere that isn't here yknow to fucking get decent sleep TWO NIGHTS BEFORE MY DEADLINE

#if you hear about a massacre among 'students' (loosely put because none of these people are actually studying) i have an alibi #i will admit. i barely talk to them when i have a busy time (so just like a hi and no conversation when we meet) but a text wouldve been fun #i absolutely hate these people #alao the way they think their parties are good when it's a bunch of people in their mid 20s listening to 2012 charts music and drinking beer #embarrassing for them #i dont want to deal with moving again when I have to move again after next semesters but i am thinking of setting the flat on fire #and again it definitely is my fault too because i dont talk to them much but it's mostly because i have friends and i dont spend my #entire day at home not writing my bachelors thesis and listening to k*nye #and all that for a mid party with beer as the only alcohol and katy perry roar in the background #istg I'll start blasting music at 6:30 when i wake up n see how they like it

[vgilantee]

but what if i said place in me by luke is 100% ethan coded.

"i never meant to start a war, i was just dead wrong" sobbing rn

correct. he's trying his best always and he just... feels like he isn't enough :((

#˚:✧｡• paper bin #i am so glad y'all are as into fob and 5sos as i am because i love talking music and none of my friends have the same taste as me :( #i subjected them to lovejoy and stray kids the other week too because like... i need them to hear lovejoy. skz was just me having fun lmao #also please tell me some of y'all listen to lvjy???? PLEASE #˚:✧｡• anon #˚:✧｡• ethan landry

[lavender---sunshine]

i am so deep in my feelings right now, i both sad and mad enough that i cannot sleep

#ive been angry oscillating between angry and sad pretty much the whole day #i had a rare saturday off and i feel like i wasted half of it for my mom and she didnt appreciate it #i wanted to take her to somewhere new for brunch and a cool bookstore and to get our nails donw #and she drove like 30 minutes in the wrong direction and wouldnt listen to me and tried to blame it on me #im not allowed to be sick on my own. she has to be sick too. if i have a headache so does she and worse #if im nauseous in the afternoon she 'threw up' that morning. she'll say its something we ate even if we ate nothing in common #ive broken our in hives that keep popping up and the whole day she was acting as if she was itchy too AND dizzy. #we had to stop multiple times because she was so dizzy. im not saying she was lying but it stopped her from cleaning #she didnt want the original breakfast place near the bookstore and salon and when we got to the second one it was closed #found a third but she didnt want to deal with parking. went to option 4 and she didnt like her food. #she also kept asking me what she was getting instead of just ordering herself. 'what was it that i wanted? yes can you tell her i want xyz' #(and let me just say i have 0 patience left for people who cant do anything themselves. helplessness is a hard hard no for me #we didnt go to the bookstore or the salon and shes like oh okay tomorrow. i told her i had plans and shes like oh you always make plans #with your friends and none with me. Girlfriend. what are we doing right now? #went home to try to clean up our apartment and got overwhelmed when i realized i have to do everything myself because she no help #while she laid down and watched pitch perfect for the 1000th time #im also trying to figure out how to tell an ex friend i dont want them back in my life because theyre so much work #but i dont have room in my life to have that conversation. im also probably going to start looking for a different job soon #i just want my parents gone. my apartment furnished. free time. and a vacation.

[girlscience]

just a hunch... a wild hunch. but i think maybe the world of research science may not be very accessible. and it actually makes me really fucking angry.

#i feel like i'm the only person who thinks about this in the DEI committee #i pointed out today that none of our buildings entrances are accessible and the surprise and shock everyone else gave when they realized #i was right and they had never thought about it before... it was rather disheartening #i know i am working through ablist biases and worldviews myself but idk #i have known and do know a lot of disabled people. and the other people in the committee are making a point to include them in the statement #but it feels like i'm the only person thinking about the physical reality of making our workplace inclusive and accessible #and i don't really feel like i can go 'hey. you know our coworker who quit not too long ago??? she was clearly neurodivergent' #'because she was a carbon copy of one of my best friends who is autistic and adhd.... and none of you were nice to her' #'i listened to all of you talk behind her back and make fun of her so if you want the brownie points of inclusivity maybe start there' #'also. the entrances to this building aren't accessible and neither is the lab itself really' #'maybe think about this shit if you want to claim diversity and inclusivity' #also when they wanted names of unknown/unrepresented scientists to name the rooms after i was the only one who listed a disabled scientist #(btw everyone should check out Wanda Díaz-Merced. she's very fucking cool) #i know i'm not great at it. but i feel like i'm the only one even actually thinking about it #it is a genuine fear of mine that someday i will be disabled in a way that stops me from doing science #and i want to make sure that doesn't stop other people who already are disabled #science is amazing and it should be open for everyone #but if they can't even get inside the building why would they try??

[kellystar321]

here we go again~!

#periodical life updates #(there's no period but its general life update time babey!! btw hindsight this ones very long prepare for an extension if you hit readmore) #im going to draw first because i have good old fashioned loverboy stuck in my head and there's a drawfee episode i can draw to #well im gonna finish my tea and then im gonna draw <3 then i'll probably add things to queue after that #i have to cook eggrolls tonight too #eggrolls are such a hassle because i cant do anything worthwhile while theyre cooking i have to attend to them at moments notice -.- <33 #maybe i'll play the mad rat dead demo again who knows~ #i am not a gamer and i still cant do hard mode <3 i will also never buy the full game because jegus 40 dollars is a lot and ive seen the- #plot already and i would not get it for further gameplay because i would suck at it <33 but i like the demo! i LOVE the music! and i can- #play it while eggrolls cook because stages are short and i can pause whenever <3 also ive been listening to the ost on repeat #there are NO BAD SONGS IN MAD RAT DEAD. NONE. THEY'RE ALL BANGERS THEY'RE ALL GOOD also If We Could Be Friends made me cry <3 #okay thats all the mad rat dead talk we're moving on!! drew a new sticksona you'll see it eventually! my friend DREW ME AND IGNGJHFBJFNHBD! #WAHHH;;; it is so pretty shes so good at coloring and i admire them ALWAYS <3 i drew me and him together <33 #we trade doodles sometimes <33 i hope they know they dont have to draw for me; theyre such a sweetheart and i worry she overworks herself- #he draws for other people and fandoms often and i just hope he takes care of himself <33 people who draw for other people deserve the world #have also been drawing eca things! love how the next part of the caving in arc is turning out <3 finished a different comic; started one- #ive been meaning to draw <3 gotta finish the caving in arc; gotta do the seven-spotted arc and the creators and creation arc <3 #if i have time i want to do the ghost of your former self arc <3 oh eca my little guy i love you so much <33 i have an ecacore and acecore- #tag now! i also want to make other -core tags for my ocs so i might just make a general oc core tag because thats too many <3 #oh speaking of too many tags this is the 20th tag so the rest will be cut off <3 anyway! queued stuff hopefully! ✌️

[canthelpit0]

“We’ll figure it out”

Pairing: Inexperienced!Matt x Inexperienced!Reader

Wordcount: 5.9k +

Summary: what happens when you hook up with your long time best friend? Except both of you are virgins.

Warnings: Smut, nasty, language, use of y/n, pet names (pretty boy, sweetheart, pretty girl, etc), reader has a cat named sun, study session, oral m!receiving, brief crying, oral f!receiving, praise kink, fingering, cowgirl, no protection (wrap it up!), she’s not on BC, creampie

(A/N: English is not my first language. So sorry for any mistakes. Feedback is always appreciated. Enjoy xx)

You have known the triplets since middle school, and you’ve been close to all of them.

Well, especially with Nick.

Everything was fine, you weren’t too popular, but you also weren’t overlooked. you were middle class, not poor but also not rich. You were pretty, but never got too much attention because of it.

Little do you know, but you’re gorgeous. If you wanted to you could easily be one of the popular girls in school. But you didn’t care for it. High school was temporary, and you knew that.

And that’s exactly what Matt admires about you.

Matt is pretty introverted, and especially around freshmen year, you and his brothers would quite literally have to force him to go to school.

Now he was more calm though. Sometimes his anxiety would mess with him, but he overcame it with you and his brother's help.

For the fact that you’ve only known them since middle school, you went over to their house quite a lot. But sometimes they’d come over to yours as well.

Matt was a virgin. Most people would think that. He’s awkward in social situations and pretty shy and introverted before you get to know him.

Though, he’s had a short-term girlfriend before. Wich, at least was something.

You never dated anyone. You never cared to. You’d much rather focus on your friends and school, than some boy.

You were a virgin. It wasn’t like you never watches porn, or were innocent really. You just never got to the point of losing it to someone. Everything you’ve done was by yourself.

Wich would be fine. But you were in senior year now, and the year was almost over. Most people around you had already lost it, and you felt left out.

You were sitting at lunch, listening to Chris drone on and on about some girl he hooked up with. You purse your lips, your apatite disappearing more and more.

Suddenly Chris looks over to you. “Y/n how was your first time?”

You tense up, Taking in a harsh breath.

“Chris! You don’t just ask shit like that” Nick huffs hitting Chris on the arm.

Matt, who was sitting next to you, puts his hand on your thigh in comfort.

You squint your eyes at Chris, judging him. Or at least you try to make it look judgy.

You lean further into Matt’s side. His physical presence was keeping you grounded.

And when matt noticed just that, he takes his hand off of your thigh and instead wrapped it around your waist to pull you even closer.

“That’s none of your business.” You huff staring back at Chris.

But internally you were embarrassed because you were still a virgin.

★ ★ ★

You had planned a sleepover and study night with matt a few days ago. Essentially, he’d come to your house on Friday, and you would study. until you got tired of it and watched a movie or something.

So after school matt drove his brothers home and then drove to your house.

You got out of the car, watching as Matt reached into the backseat to grab his overnight bag.

You couldn’t help but think back to lunch break when Chris had made that comment. Chris was a player, and you knew that.

But everybody around you had lost their v card, and you just felt so left behind.

Matt huffs snapping his fingers in front of your face. You blink. He takes the keys out of your hand, grabbing your forearm to pull you to the door.

“You back with me y/n/n?” Matt ask. He looks over his shoulder as he blindly fiddles with your house keys.

“Yeah, sorry. zoned out.” You answer simply.

Matt chuckles at the flat response. He looks back at the door and finally twists it open. You two both walk in, both of you taking your shoes on.

“Hello, we’re back” Matt says loudly into the room.

You put on your house shoes and so does Matt.

You look over your shoulder at Matt with an amused expression. “Matt they already left” you huff.

“What? I thought they were gonna leave at 4?” He asks, pulling out his phone from his jean's back pocket.

It’s 4.26 pm

“Oh.” He says flatly staring at his screen.

Your parents had driven out for the weekend to your grandparents house. It was a few hours away. You hadn’t wanted to go, because for one you had already made plans for the sleepover with Matt.

And also because you had the test on Monday and you wanted to study the weekend away.

You were probably not going to anyway, but in theory..

“Yeah. oh.” You roll your eyes. Your siblings went with your parents so the house was empty. It’d be the perfect opportunity for a house party.

But you weren’t one to party, and your parents trusted you.

You and Matt walk to your kitchen. Well, it’s just matt trailing behind you.

“You want a drink?” You ask simply while you take out a Pepsi can for yourself and then put it on the counter nearest.

Matt comes up behind you. He looks over your shoulder scanning the contents of the fridge.

“Pepsi please,” he says under his breath.

You take out another can and then proceed to put it next to your can on the counter.

You slam the fridge door shut. You feel Matt turn you around before he’s hugging you. His arms wrap around your waist as he buries his face in your neck.

Matt had always been a big softie. No matter how much he loves to deny it he loves hugs and being all sappy and shit.

His own love language was acts of service though. He’d do anything for someone he likes.

And so if he finds a song that reminds him of you, he’ll tell you. If you are hungry, he’s immediately googling places to eat. If you look slightly sad or upset, even though you just have a resting bitch face, he’s immediately doing something stupid to make you laugh.

You know each other in and out.

He knows you love physical touch. So he’d make it a point to hug you at least once a day.

The day was long and draining. It was a normal boring school day.

His hug is warm, his arms feel firm around you.

And despite not having known him since kindergarten or something, it feels like you’ve known him forever.

You can’t think of any future scenario without him in your life.

“You always smell so good” he mumbles, dramatically nuzzling his face into the side of your neck.

You chuckle at the compliment.

“Come on pretty boy, we gotta study.” You hum slightly pulling away. Matt dramatically groans in response but reluctantly pulls away.

You pick up the two Pepsi cans and start to walk back to the stairs.

Matt grabs both of your school bags and carries them upstairs with him.

Once you’re in your room you pull out your desk chair and sit down.

Matt puts both your backpacks against the wall. He walks towards the bed to sit down when he spots your cat.

“Sunny” he exclaims excitedly. As much as Matt would love to say he’s a dog person. He loves your cat.

She’s and orange Persian cat. Her hair is fluffy and long. She looks like a ball of hair all curled up in your bedsheets like that.

You look over to matt and your bed. You watch as your cat looks up at him and he coos at her. He slowly sits down and starts to pet your cat.

★ ★ ★

By now two hours of studying had passed. You were both now sitting on the floor on your carpet, the study material all sprawled out across from you.

You and Matt were sitting next to each other, your cat still sleeping on your bed.

“Matt I’m bored” you whine loudly. You throw your head back dramatically and groan.

Matt looks over at you watching you as you complain. He looks mildly agitated himself.

Before he can protest and tell you that you two need to continue studying you start to put the pages and books on top of each other.

Once no books and loose papers are sprawled out anymore you sit back again.

“Y/n” he rolls his eyes and you can feel the lecture incoming.

“Matt please, I’m literally about to die of boredom.”

“You’re so dramatic” he scoffs watching you.

And for a moment You two just look at each other. Neither of you say anything. You just stare. Your face relaxes out of the pout. Matt looks over your features like he’s admiring you for the first time. Like you’re a piece of art.

You can feel yourself start to grow hot. The tension in the room skyrockets.

“You’re so pretty you know that,” Matt says under his breath. Matt leans over on his arm leaning closer to you.

Your mind is blank, and you can’t come up with an answer. You just take in the compliment.

“So fucking gorgeous” he sighs and before either of you knew it his lips are on yours.

You freeze for a second your eyes wide. But like it’s an instinct you immediately kiss back.

Matt’s hand finds its way to your jaw holding you in place, while he tilts his head to the side to deepen the kiss.

You were sitting Chris-cross while Matt was sitting on his legs, sitting just a bit higher than you.

After a while of just innocently kissing, he pulls away. You two stay close though. His eyes instantly widen as if he knew he fucked up.

“Fuck- I’m sorry” he breaths out, taking his hand from your face.

You sit up. Uncrossing your legs. you shift to sit on them, fully facing a blushing Matt. And you’re sure you have a matching red hue on your cheeks as well.

“No.”

the statement catches Matt off guard. He immediately looks back over at you, confused.

As soon as he looks back over at you, you reconnect your lips with his. He sighs into the kiss. His open mouth grants you the opening you need as you swiftly slip your tongue into his mouth.

You’re a virgin. That doesn’t mean you’re fully inexperienced tho.

You two make out heavily for a while. Making out like you’re trying to feel every part of each other.

Somehow you ended up in a position with you straddling Matt, as he has his legs sprawled out.

You pull away, both of you breathing hard.

“Y/n..” Matt starts his voice shaky.

He averts his eyes, the blush on his cheeks and even deeper red than before.

“I’m a virgin” he admits under his breath.

You thought for sure that Matt wasn’t. You were. But you also never dated anyone. Matt used to have a girlfriend though. But he’d never done it?

“Like fully?” You ask out of curiosity.

But it wasn’t like you wanted to use him. You liked him for being, himself. His presence made you flustered, feeling butterflies in your stomach, and all giddy.

“Yeah” he breaths out. You watch him close his eyes as if willing his embarrassment to leave. “I’ve never, done anything..”

You pause thinking of the best way to reply. “Neither have I.” You say softly, feeling mildly flustered as well. But both of you were inexperienced. You were in the same boat.

He pauses for a second at the reply. It was obvious that he thought you at least had one body. He didn’t think you were a virgin too.

“You… you wanna try?” He questions. Now he looks a lot less embarrassed than he did just a few seconds ago.

You bite the inside of your cheek. “If you want to?”

He pulls you back in for another kiss by the back of your neck. The kiss is shorter and more reassuring.

Matt pulls out of the kiss his hands going to your waist “We can figure it out?” He asks hopefully.

You nod in agreement. You could feel Matt’s bulge through his pants with the way you were sitting. And you could feel yourself aching.

What’s the harm in trying. He’s your best friend after all. Besides you’d finally lose it, and to someone you trust.

You peck his lips briefly before you get up off of his lap.

Matt gets up off of the ground too. You pick up your cat and wake her in the process. She meows at you in annoyance before you chuckle and put her on the ground.

Matt opens the door as Sunny finally but reluctantly leaves the room.

You pull off your shirt tossing it away. Matt turns around to see you sitting on your bed with your top discarded, your bra in full view. His eyes widen.

He licks his lips, his eyes shamelessly tracing your body.

Matt comes to hover over you while you sit there. “You’re such a tease” he chuckles. He leans down to capture your lips in a brief kiss again.

It was like he couldn’t get enough of your lips.

“Get on the ground,” Matt says, his tone more demanding and rough with lust.

You obey. You slide off your bed, getting on your knees on the ground.

Matt tugs his shirt off throwing it off to the side. He unbuckles his belt and undoes the button and zipper on his jeans before finally sliding them off and tossing them away.

You curiously watch. The only men you’d seen in this position were in pornos. This though, was your best friend since middle school.

Sometimes you forgot he was an actual man with a dick and all.

And right now, seeing the imprint of his cock through his boxers felt surreal.

He starts to tug on his boxers. Your eyes go up to meet his. “Ever gotten your dick sucked?” You ask sarcastically to cover up how nervous you are.

“No.” He breaths out. While continuing to look down at you he finally pulls down his boxers. He tosses them away too.

Your eyes trail from his eyes to his lips, over his jawline and his chest, down to his dick. The dick that was rock hard and right in front of your face.

Your eyes widen, as you sit back your hands staying on your knees as you just stare.

His tip was the same red he had on his cheeks, leaking pre cum. He had a vain running up his shaft. You always thought that male body part was rather disgusting looking.

But the way Matt’s looks right now…

You don’t know if it’s just the burning lust running through your body. But you actually really wanted to taste that.

Your hand goes to cup his aching cock. He lets out a sharp sigh at the feeling. You touch it gently. You don’t move your hand and stay careful of your manicured nails.

“I don’t know what I’m doing” you breathe out. While you do, you gently start to move your hand up and down your length slowly jerking him off.

“I don’t either,” he tilts his head forwards closing his eyes for a secound. “Keep going we’ll figure it out,” Matt assures you.

His hand goes to the back of your head. His hand starts to smooth down your hair.

“C’mon baby, don’t be shy” he coos staring down at you. Matt looks down at you like he’s done this a billion times before when he claims he never had.

But you guess one of you at least had to pretend that you were understanding what you’re doing right now.

You lean forward leaving a tender kiss on the tip. You do what you think someone would do in this situation.

The way he shudders at the simple touch though, shows that he is in fact, not experienced.

In hindsight, you don’t know why you thought that he was experienced. You just assumed.

“You think this will fuck up our friendship?” You ask while still slowly jerking him off.

Matt’s breaths are slightly shaky, but he chuckles at the question.

“No. I won’t let it.” He huffs.

“So..” you pause your movements. You glance down at his dick and the way your manicured hand wraps around it. And how huge it looks.

You then look back up at him through your lashes. “How am I supposed to do this?” You ask uncertainly.

“I don’t know.” He pauses to lick his lips. The way you, his best friend, look up at him through your lashes like that, was making him even more aroused.

“Just do what you feel like. But be careful of your teeth.” He says slowly. he wasn’t even sure himself.

You raise your eyebrow at his vague response. Neither of you knew how to do it, so you might as well imitate the porn that you’ve watched.

You drag you tongue up his shaft, keeping your eyes locked on his. When you’re at the tip you lick up all the pre cum leaking. You keep eye contact with matt, and it was driving him crazy.

He lets out shaky breaths. He was clearly enjoying this.

You kiss his tip again, before wrapping your lips around his tip. You slowly swirl your tongue around it trying to see how he’ll react.

You watch him to see if he likes it or not.

“Yeah, like that,” he says under his breath staring down at you.

With his praise and encouragement, you start to take him further down your throat. Slowly and carefully.

Matt whispers praises into the quiet room. All of them go right to your core and boost your ego.

You eventually feel comfortable enough to bob your head. You were jerking off what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. You were bobbing your head at a rhythmic pace and hollowing out your cheeks occasionally.

“I’m close-“ Matt whines. He actually whines.

And that sound. The power you had to make him sound like that was making you feel even more confident.

You don’t slow down your pace. You just keep going.

Until matt puts your hair in a makeshift ponytail. He tugs on it hard, to keep you still. He starts at a gentle but fast pace.

You feel your eyes fog up. The constant hit to the back of your throat makes you gag slightly.

His pace starts to become more and more sloppy as the seconds pass though.

You feel his dick hit the back of your throat before you suddenly feel your mouth be filled.

You feel his sticky load shoot down your throat. He pants, pulling at your hair to pull you off.

You swallowed what you could. But still, you feel a bit of it roll down your chin.

“Sh, sorry no don’t cry.” He immediately panics cupping your face in his hands. He looks down at you, worried. As if he thinks he went too far.

He wipes away the tears. The tears that you hadn’t even noticed had fallen.

Sighing, you can’t help the smile that forms on your face. “I’m okay Matty” you breathe out softly. His facial expression visibly relaxes at the statement.

“I’m sorry if that was too hard”

“It wasn’t, you’re good.” You stand up.

You immediately go to undo your own jeans. You slip out of them, throwing them off to the side.

His eyes roam over your body. The air is thick, both of your bodies pulsing with pure lust and awe.

You watch as his half-hard dick gets hard again.

You chuckle at the reaction. You teasingly take your bra off. And once you unclasp it, it’s Thrown across the room to the rest of your clothes.

His eyes trail your body again. He can’t help himself at the way your boobs look. He’s always admired you from afar. He never thought he’d ever be able to see you like this.

Sure he had imagined you two together like this before, but he never thought he’d actually get to see it. Besides, the real thing, the euphoria, it all felt better than he could’ve ever thought.

“So pretty, baby” he sighs. His hand goes to your chest. you could tell he’d never done this before just by the way he touched you like you were fragile.

But neither of you knowing what you were doing only made this more thrilling.

His hands go to your waist as he pushes you back onto your bed. He hovers over you for a moment, before crashing his lips back onto yours.

You kiss back, but you mostly let him take the lead. After he breaks the kiss, You feel him start to trail his kisses down your jawline and neck, while needing your breast in his hand.

He sits up again putting his other hand on your chest and needing it too, watching the way his hands look wrapped around your tits.

He sighs getting off of you and between your legs.

“Tell me when it feels good, sweetheart, alright?” He hums. He pulls at your panties, taking them off and half-heartedly throwing them away.

His eyes stay locked on your pussy. He admires it, like it’s the first time he’s seen it, which it is.

He puts your legs over his shoulders to give himself a better angle. He uses his middle finger to brush through your folds experimentally, watching you in awe.

You sigh at the contact on your folds. You’ve never been touched there. But Matt’s touch felt so incredibly comforting and good.

Your core was aching, pulsing around nothing. And Matt watched.

After a moment he kissed just above your clit. Kissing a trail down to your clit, before harshly starting to suck on it.

Your moan tears through the room. You were startled by how bold and confident he acted.

He groans into your core at your taste on his tongue. The groan sends pleasure coursing through you and chills down your spine.

“Fuck- matt” you whine. Your thighs clench around his head trying to get him closer. Your hand finds its way to his hair tugging on it slightly.

Your other hand berries in the sheets, trying to find something to hold onto. “God- have you done this before?” You ask rhetorically not expecting an answer.

He licks a stripe up your folds and starts to move his tongue against your sensitive nub. You whine and he chuckles.

“No.” He mumbles against you in answer. You throw your head back in pleasure your eyes briefly closing.

You feel Matt pull at you, tilting his head slightly for a deeper angle.

He was eating you out like you were his last meal. But beyond that also like this would be the only time he got to taste your sweet juices.

“Matt, fuck yeah- just like that.” You keep praising him. You notice how it boosts his confidence and in turn, makes this even more pleasurable for you.

You feel a finger brush at your cunt. Before you feel it slide in. Your hand immediately tugs harder at his hair. Your back arches slightly as you throw your head back in pleasure.

He thrusts his middle finger in and out of your tight cunt. He was turning his hand slightly, twisting it and turning it to get a feel for your body and how you react. And to also make you loosen up a bit.

You whine in discomfort. Matt detaches his lips from your clit still hovering close though.

“You okay sweetheart?” He says lowly under his breath.

Your moaning was loud and echoing through the room.

You sit up in your forearms staring down at him and the way he was fingering you like that. Watching the way his finger disappeared in your tight cunt.

“I’m good”

The words come up a bit slurred. The pleasure of him finger fucking you like that, was making your head feel all fuzzy.

“Never fingered yourself, baby?” He asks teasingly. You watch him and the way he steadies himself on his other arm.

He readjusts his finger, curling it up roughly hitting your sweet spot right on.

The touch sends shivers of pleasure down your spine making you shut your eyes and throw your head back.

“Matt, matt-“ you chant his name like a prayer. It’s the only thing you can think of. Him. And only him. That’s all that’s relevant right now.

He slips his second finger into your soaked core with ease. You barely even notice the second finger added. Until he starts to scissor them apart to stretch your insides even further.

He keeps thrusting his fingers in and out of you harshly. Curling them at just the right spots to make your vision blur.

You lay back down fully, as he is now sitting up more.

“Yeah pretty girl, that feel good?” He asks. Your back arches and your mouth falls open in a silent moan.

He leans up further, your legs fall from his shoulders as he hovers over your lower body. He puts his whole hand on your lower stomach applying gentle pressure on it to keep you down on the bed.

“I’m close-“ you breathe out between loud moans.

“good girl, come for me.” You shudder at the pet name. Your thighs shake slightly at the burning intensity of his gaze and the way his fingers curl at just the right spots.

You squirm under his gaze. And suddenly you feel the intense knot in your stomach snap. You feel him continue to finger fuck you, while your entire body feels burning hot.

You feel so warm and overwhelmed by the euphoria flowing through your veins. It feels better than any high you have ever experienced. Not that you’ve experienced a lot.

Once you ride out your high you breathe hard. Your eyes stay closed as you lay back on your bed.

Matt gently pulls out his fingers, making you whine at the loss of contact.

He lays down on your duvet next to you, turns to his side, and watches you.

You also turn to face him after a moment. You two just look at each other.

Matt looks at you with such intense adoration and love, it’s crazy.

“You actually wanna loose your virginity now?” He asks gently. Ignoring the fact that he was rock-hard.

You two so far had only given each other pleasure, but you hadn’t lost your virginity yet.

“Yes” you breathe out. You feel ready now more than you ever have before. Especially if you get to lose it to matt.

He licks his lips looking over your face.

“I don’t have a condom.” He says simply looking back at you. He knew you weren’t on the pill. He’d be fine doing it some other day.

“That’s fine.” You say though , catching him off guard. How desperate do you have to be to let him raw dog it?

“You’re not on the pill tho?” He questions.

“I’m not” you confirm simply. He raises an eyebrow waiting for further explanation. “You can pull out or something.” You shrug.

“That sounds tacky.” He huffs a laugh at how ridiculous that sounds.

“Doesn’t matter, we’ll deal with that tomorrow morning. Just please fuck me?”

You think he’s going to refuse Until he suddenly pulls you on top of him. You sit on his torso for a moment before you get the memo.

“You want me to ride you?” You ask slowly.

“If you’re not comfortable we can switch?” He offers. But why would you decline to ride him?

You shake your head no, before starting to slide down on his torso feeling his length glide between your soaked folds.

“Can’t be that hard?” You question rather skeptically.

In your opinion matt didn’t seem small. Though you had nothing to compare it to. All the girls in porn seemed to struggle with something that looked as big as Matt.

So either this would be really hard or easy for you. But either way, you wanted to try.

“You’re okay, we’ll go slow” he chuckles at your nervousness but is secretly just as scared. “And I’ll help you.” He assures.

You lift yourself hovering over his crotch area. You take in a harsh breath grabbing his dick and hovering over it.

Matt’s hand goes to it too holding it up. While your hand goes to your cunt as you gently and slowly sink down on it.

You both moan at the contact. Getting in the tip was hard. But once that was in you felt like you could easily slide down the rest of it, not that it wouldn’t hurt.

Matt’s free hand goes to your waist, guiding you like he said he would.

“Doing so good, princess.” You whine at the praise, but ultimately slowly skink down further..

Matt keeps your movements steady as you keep doing your thing. His second hand also goes to your waist using it to steady your movements further.

“Fuck so big.” You moan. Your thighs tense as you pull it out slightly. You could feel the stretch burn.

“It’s okay sweetheart. you only got a couple inches left.” He assures you as he starts guiding you back lower on him. Your cunt was aching around him harshly.

“Fuck-“ you sigh. You can’t help yourself when you take one of his hands from your waist and interlock your hands. You need the moral support.

“Such a good girl,” Matt says as you start to gently bounce on what you have fit so far.

He was occasionally groaning. Your moans filled the room, the air in the room staying hot.

He squeezes your hand. You close your eyes at the mixture of pleasure and pain. When you close your eyes he lets his eyes wander down to where your bodies meet.

He’d never done this and this felt so incredibly good. The sight alone could make him come right then and there.

Matt wasn’t dumb, he knew he had quite the dick. It wasn’t small by any means. And he knew that. It was amusing Watching you struggle with what you had, knowing there were at least still 3 more inches to go.

“You okay?” He asks again just to make sure you are okay.

The pain had subsided and you felt the pleasure. Sure you could take more but you were nervous to. This wasn’t as easy as it looked or as You thought it’d be.

“I’m okay” you sigh. You keep yourself gently and slowly bouncing on the upper half of the length of his cock.

Matt knows you really well. And matt just knows you can take more than that, Despite being a virgin himself. It was just a gut feeling. “Baby, I’m gonna need you to bear with me alright?”

Before you can respond, his hand on your waist tightens, and he squeezes your hand that’s intertwined with his. He rams you down on his dick harshly, making you take it as much as you physically could.

Your legs tense up at the harsh treatment. Your eyes close as a moan is ripped out your lungs. You clench so unbelievably tight around him. And just the sight of himself buried so deep inside of you could have him come at the spot.

He groans at the feeling of it as well. “Good-“ he breathes out. “Such a good girl.”

He keeps his hand intertwined with yours for moral support. His hand trails from your waist over your side soothingly.

You sigh at the feeling of him being completely in you. It’s a foreign feeling. It just feels so full.

“I feel so fucking stuffed” you groan dramatically. You let your head hang forward your mouth open in a silent moan.

“Oh, you’re so gonna be stuffed” he huffs. And somehow, even though pregnancy and birth scares the hell out of you, this type of dirty talk was extremely hot to you.

You huff in response starting to grind into him. You grind on his dick, his Hand on your hips helping you as you slowly try to get used to the size.

You sigh pulling all of your hair back out of your face again. You readjust your legs, taking your hand out of Matt’s. You shift, leaning on your arms to lean back slightly.

You start to carefully ride him your moans and whines still audible. Your head is thrown back in pleasure.

Matt watches the way your body moves in awe. Groaning every so often when you clench around him.

His hand goes to rest over your lower stomach, his thumb goes to rub on your clit gently. “Matt.” You gasp at the sudden added pleasure.

You can’t help yourself when you lean back forward. You just really want to see Matt’s face while you ride him.

“So good for me baby, keep going” he encourages. And with his words, you readjust again now pulling out more and ramming yourself back down.

You feel the knot in your stomach get tighter. You feel really good riding him like this, listening to his mumbles of praise and encouragement.

You continue to bounce on him, now chasing your high. And the harsher you slam yourself down the louder you and matt get. The room is filled with your noises as well as skin clapping loudly, and your lewd wetness.

After a few seconds you feel the knot snap. You lean over him, your arms on either side of his head catching you. Your high feels incredible, the heat washing over you like a wave.

Matt’s hand on your waist gets bruisingly harsh. He holds you in place while he thrusts up into you. You whine at the way he fucks you through your high. He was chasing his own now.

“Where do you want it.” His breath is harsh. He choked out the words in his lust-filled voice. He wasn’t asking, he was demanding to know.

“Inside.” You grit out. You bite your lip harshly, feeling your high subside and overstimulation slowly take over.

Matt grunts an agreement and you feel his thrusts get more sloppy and harsh. Until he gives you one last thrust, finally stopping his movements. He pulls you down to sit on him while spurts of his release shoot up into you.

You were pulsing around him, practically milking him for all he’s got. “Such a good girl” matt breathes out. One of his hands goes to trail over your stomach slightly.

He feels the slight bulge in your stomach from his sheer size.

The idea that this is how you make children is crazy to you. And the fact that you just did that with your best friend.

“How’re you feeling?” He asks softly staring up at you lovingly.

“Warm” you respond truthfully. His sticky seed inside of you makes your core feel all warm, along with the fact that you haven’t gotten off of it yet.

“Do you regret it?” He asks gently. After all, you two were best friends, and he had just lost his virginity to you and also taken yours.

Despite being terrified of the fact that you let him raw dog this, you didn’t regret it. In fact, you felt content, you love matt dearly.

“No” you don’t hesitate. You never realized how much you love Matt. He was just always there with you, he was always your best friend. You couldn’t imagine a future without him.

“You’re paying for the plan b pill tho” you chuckle.

He huffs a laugh. you carefully lift yourself off of him feeling your combined juices leak. You can see Matt watching, his eyes focused on your pussy. Watching the way you’re filled to the brim.

You kneel next to him, as you watch him sit up. “Come on sweetheart let’s get you cleaned up.”

Masterlist

A/N: I know this isn’t the most original idea, but I haven’t read any ffs where both of them are virgins. But if there is one that’s similar to mine, just know it was not intentional. In that case, If someone gives me the @ I can credit them.

Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturnioloos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangepepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo

#sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x y/n #chris sturniolo x you #chris x reader #christopher sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #christopher sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo x reader smut #sturniolo fanfic #Spotify

[arminsumi]

I want to kiss you / キスしたい

G. Satoru

NOTE: i recently started learning to write in japanese for not much reason other than to occupy my mind with something new. this little daydream came to me and i can't stop thinking about it, i think falling in love despite a language barrier is one of the purest and sweetest ways to fall in love.

WARNINGS — it might be fem reader idk, kissing 👍, ur married w him at the end, not proofread lol i'm snuggled up in bed ok

Satoru cant speak english and you cant speak japanese; Suguru is the translator friend. You met him online years ago, who knows how. But you hit it off, and four years of friendship rolled by.

Satoru heard all about Y/n and saw you many times when Suguru facetimed or called you. You and him had many cute, playful interactions, ranging from making hearthands at each other to flipping each other off and laughing about it. Sometimes Satoru would be sat off-camera, overloading Suguru with things to translate, because he had a lot to say to you. One time, Suguru left for a few minutes to get a pizza delivery, and then Satoru got very quiet and the two of you blinked at your screens.

"Hi."

"Hi."

And then you two for some reason started laughing with your whole chests, Suguru walked in with a confused smirk. He joked, "Sooo... what did you and Satoru talk about while I was gone?" He asked, gentle accent coming through in soft waves. "The mysteries of the universe." You replied. Satoru was already diving into the pizza box, but he still listened to you speak; he wondered what you had said, maybe you used some fancy words to say that you liked him? He'd be lying if he said he didn't memorize variations of "i like you" after that. He was paranoid that he could miss you saying that you liked him.

You managed a slow, meticulously-pronounced nice to meet you in Japanese when you finally visited Tokyo. It was at the airport. You and Suguru had shared many hugs — good grief, you'd seen height comparisons many times but none painted a real idea of just how big these boys were. But Satoru? He was loudmouthed on a screen and surprisingly shy in person. Eventually he hugged you and didn't let go. He even got so comfy as to hang and cling to your body like you saw him doing with Suguru in countless photos and videos.

Though you could barely pronounce the little Japanese that you picked up, Satoru felt giddy to hear your pretty voice in his language. He listened to you like you were reciting love poetry to him, fists under his chin and eyes starry. But you were just saying basic phrases, boring things — nothing that articulated your thoughts properly.

He was far too embarrassed to try and speak any English when he first met you, even though after developing a crush on you he did start learning some English on the side. He knew quite a bit, but listening was so impossibly difficult it frustrated him like nothing else. He was also self-conscious of his English accent, though Suguru tried to assure him that he sounded very cute and almost oddly British.

So often instead of attempting to speak tiny phrases to you, Satoru threw a lot of hand motions and signals your way which got the two of you and Suguru laughing — poor Sugie, he was always translating even the smallest things you said even if you muttered them under your breath, because Satoru was eager to know every little thought and expression you had, even if you were simply commenting on the weather.

Once you commented that it was so hot, you were visiting during a heatwave-filled summer. Satoru raised his brows at Suguru expectantly, and you heard a familiar translation;

暑い。

It's hot.

There was such a frustrating language barrier between the two of you, it became more evident when you had finally flown over the sea to meet them.

Yet you and satoru fell in love silently and beautifully, your love flowing like a river in the most unexpected directions. You felt his affection emanating from his irises. You and him joked around, and talked — though you had no idea what the other meant most of the time. Sometimes the two of you gave up and you talked in English, he responded with Japanese, and it went on like that very comedically until Suguru came back to bridge the gap.

Lots of time was spent putting your heads together over your phone, reading translations of what you wanted to say to each other.

One day, when Suguru left the two of you alone in his apartment kitchen so that he could hop to the convenience store, Satoru typed something into the translator and let you read it. Your face warmed up.

キスしたい。

I want to kiss you.

He looks at you expectantly.

You type back to him.

Then kiss me.

それからキスして。

He blushed and hesistated, the two of you making electric eye contact for a while before he boyishly pecked your lips to test if you liked his kiss, but oh that's all the two of you needed to realize just how much you liked each other. You melted into each other like your bodies were made for nothing else but to embrace and be one. He shook a little, tentatively gliding his lips over yours. His hands nervously cupped your cheeks. With the way he handled you so carefully, you'd think you were made of porcelain.

Your reciprocation meant everything to him. His confidence flourished. The soft smacking, wet sounds got louder when he kissed you more passionately. Those gentle hands found their way to the back of your neck, and he softly pressed you closer to him as if he was scared you would pull away. What if you changed your mind mid-kiss? He was overthinking and you wouldn't have even guessed it, because you thought he was in the same blissed out dream state as you were. So high on kissing that the world fell away.

The two of you started smiling embarrassedly, grinning so hard that you couldn't continue kissing. Then the two of you just giggled against each other's faces — a subconscious realization swept him; laughter and kissing are their own languages.

Yes as years passed and you visited time and time again, your Japanese improved and his English improved. When you moved to Japan, eventually you adopted a messy mix of Japanese and English with Satoru. He liked showing off how perfectly he could pronounce things, and you liked showing off that you could write very neat kana.

Years and years and years passed and when you and him were married in your own little apartment, starting a life together, a very fluent Satoru reminisced about how the two of you fell in love despite barely speaking to each other.

"It was your eyes for me." You said.

"Oh really? It was your voice for me. I didn't know what you were saying, but it sounded nice." He said.

"Mmm I liked your voice, too." You said, snuggling your head on his shoulder. He basked in the attention, though it was common, it always felt special for him. The smallest hand touches and wrist kisses made his heart lurch.

"Remember when I always nagged Suguru to translate every little thing you said?"

"Yeah, you worked him to the bone." You chuckled.

"I just wanted to know what you were saying. I had such a crush on you, looking back now it was even ridiculous how much I liked you considering the barrier and all."

"Ooh, did you?"

"How is this surprising? We're married??"

"Oh yeah."

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