#because of that absolutely wild peacefulness whiplash

[sylvies-chen]

after seeing a tweet about season 2 coming out I thought now would be a good time start The Bear to fulfill my need to have seen every single show in existence! I’ve only seen the first 5 episodes so far but here are my thoughts:

it seems everyone in this show except marcus (he’s just in the corner perfecting his lil donuts!! leave him in peace!!) teeters so beautifully on being absolutely detestable. some *cough cough richie cough cough* do venture into unlikeable territory but then when they do, the writers bring in a scene that instantly gives them an extra layer and shifts you towards empathy. it’s a really delicate balance but so far it’s working for me!

this is, at its core, a show about how to go about taking pieces of something broken and turning them into something better and beautiful, revamping it without discarding its true nature— and this is true in both the inwards sense, relating to carmy’s (and sugar’s and richie’s) grief and mental health in learning how to move on from a tragic loss but not forget your past pain, and then in the outwards sense as well regarding to the restaurant and the Chicago community, how to make a successful restaurant without forgetting the people they serve, how to not be a gunslingin’ dive but also not a gentrifying posh joint.

speaking of that internal turmoil though, I’m absolutely lovinggggg the bear motif and it fits perfectly with this idea! it’s like carmy has so much bottled up inside him, both good and bad, like his passion to change the restaurant mikey left him but also his pain and grief and sorrow, and him trying to let the bear out of the cage and slowly tame it or control it in his dreams is very reminiscent of someone trying to get a hold on their own psyche. but it’s like. no dude. you gotta let it all out, let it go wild! both the pain and the ambition! it will let you be more loving, be healed, and be a better leader! gosh, it’s so so good.

JON BERNTHAL IS IN THIS?? Oh wait I think I vaguely remember @levijeanqueen watching this show just to see Jon Bernthal on her screen. sky babe this is me formally saying that I should have followed in your footsteps sooner omg I love this

richie gives me whiplash because he starts crying about his kid and I wanna give him a hug and tell him he’s a good dad but then he yells at syd and I get filled with rage and then he calls the cops on the mobsters when someone else solves the problem he couldn’t because he can’t stand not being needed and then anti-hero by taylor swift starts playing in my head because it’s him hi he’s the problem and what do you mean he accidentally drugged children with xanex i-

sydney is my GIRL y’all!! she has such a passionate, eager spirit about her that she can’t hold in and yet she also lacks confidence in a lot of ways and like. she is me!! I am her!! I kin this woman so hard. (that’s actually my first time using that word I hope I did it right lol). I’m so obsessed with everything she does, I can’t wait to see her grow and evolve as a chef, and to gain more confidence! also I need to learn more about her backstory right tf now like what was that catering business?? what’s her family like??

I don’t know where people are shipwise with this show?? it’s not a show that offers a lot of substantial material on that front but shipping is so much more fun when you have zero expectations and can kind of just go with the flow and take your own creative liberties so I like having fun with it. anyways I definitely feel a certain vibe with carmy and sydney but also marcus is so outwardly sweet to her when no one else is so I’m not mad about that either.

I think carmy and syd are like… two side of the same coin? they’re not the most alike but they’re not polar opposites either, they’re very much foils of each other and they each are the parts of the other that the other wishes they were. like sydney very openly wants to be skilled like carmy (she’s skilled on her own ways though might I add) and be a fearless chef and innovator, and carmy I think less-openly wishes he was like sydney: new, fresh, eager, not beaten down by the verbal degradation of high-end culinary culture, hopeful about the world and creative. I really like that sort of connection between two characters, it kind of alludes to a deeper idea that this bond was meant to be in a way? their chemistry is fucking fire too like wow

but then there’s marcus and sydney, which I think is cute because marcus has that sort of fun experimental eager green energy that sydney has and that many others (like tina and richie) have discarded or snuffed out, so I think he could be like a nice bright spot for sydney. idk. I need to know like a million more things about her character as well, she deserves all the screentime in the world. but in the meantime I’m just chilling, enjoying the little itty bitty crumbs that let me have my fun lol

anyways I’m sorry if that was too long for you lovely folks but I hope it was a worthy interruption to your regularly scheduled tumblr scrolling because I really love this show and I can’t wait to finish these last two episodes before moving on to this new season!!

#the bear #the bear fx #carmy the bear #carmen berzatto #sydney adamu #richie jerimovich

[starfxkr]

https://www.tumblr.com/starfxkr/746621640732000256/moony-do-you-have-a-favourite-sofia-coppola?source=share

well! now i wanna know what's your t20 for books omg

and ugh yes virgin suicides was such a love for me to for similarish reason(s) - the lisbon sisters were very frozen in time/spiritually paralyzed to me. it acc reminds me sm of kirsten dunst in interview with a vampire n how paralyzed claudia felt by being unable to age

oh n i just googled jesus saves n it sounds up my alley i wanna read it sometime but how graphic would you say it is?

no i get it - like i do get the appeal of whiplash n there are parts of it i like (like the driving scene LOL)

but anyways pope rly is pretentious if perfect blue is his fav of the bunch omg i love him. now i feel like he'd make fun of me for preferring black swan over it n telling me it's just a perfect blue rip-off n accusing me of only liking it bc mila n natalie get freaky in it 😭

-🐰

okay top to books!!!! just to keep it simple lol my top 5 will be in order after that its just me throwing em in there.

sula - toni morrison. favorite book of all time I have multiple copies of it and it's the absolute best story of female friendship imo and as a midwestern black girl I really resonated in ways I don't always resonate with books about southern black culture. sula mae peace was a low down diabolical woman and I love her

jesus saves - darcey steinke. this book is pretty graphic esp the scenes with sandy and her kidnapper. the dual povs are great and its one of the bleakest novels ive ever had the pleasure of reading. I was sat in shock when I finished

little birds - anais nin. my fav erotica book I like this more than delta of venus and there's actually a picture I took of the book thats popular on Pinterest and goes viral on tumblr/twitter all the time LOL. a major comfort read during one of the worst years of my life.

the moth diaries - rachel klein. read it last year it was such a good introspective work that honestly the vampirism felt both secondary and integral to the narrators plight like you can see her sanity slip over time and yet tou sit there wishing either shes right so she can have at least one thing to grasp onto or wishing she was wrong so she can feel some peace.

chouette - claire oshetsky. MY FAVVVVV BOOK ON MOTHERHOOD its magical realism and you can read it as an allegory or read it as literal which is what I prefer to do. a quick read but its so touching in its strangeness.

lolita - vladimir nabokov. technically a top 5 but its a book thats so integral to me that I can't properly rank. the way he played with words and the depth of the book is just unparalleled. I reread it once a year and although I love the 97 film it cannot come close to the book. its filled with such lush visuals and such sensuous language I get into discourse about it all the time because people either hate it due to misconceptions or they love it but feel guilty so they have to virtue signal in the most obnoxious ways. im a separate third thing.

the discomfort of evening - marieke lucas rijneveld. this is what lapvona wanted to be…it was dark and uncomfortable at many times and you feel just as isolated as the characters in some ways it feels like if the vvitch happened in more modern times with how the family dealt with grief and death in a small religious community it was kinda gross at times tol.

earthlings - sayaka murata. another very gross book and I would go into this carefully bc its very explicitly about csa. the main character was a wonderful depiction of how parental neglect, sexual abuse and trauma can leave a person stunted and how they can end up in very unsavory circumstances. the ending was wild.

nausea - jean paul sarte. my first "philosophical" book and it really....hit kinda close but it became a comforting read. I was coming off my Hell Year and I was still dealing with a lot of depression and just emptiness and that book encapsulated a lot of my emotions.

the nun - denis diderot. one of the funniest books ever im not playing. its about a young girl who becomes a nun because shes a child of adultery in the 18th century and her life just gets worse and worse as random shit keeps happening to her. it has homoeroticism and blasphemy and was conceived as a prank where diderot wrote letters as the MC. once you get into the language its such a crazy ride.

pope is a satoshi kon stan down so he feels very strongly about his work being ripped off by aronofsky!!! he argues about black swan being a lesser film all the time but I would say paprika is his fav

#✨.txt #pope heyward prompt #🐰 anon

[howpeacefulislwj]

So, How Peaceful *is* Lan Wangji?

It’s a great question. Some might say the Most Fundamental Question Of Our Time. And they only say that because it Is. Does such a Question have an Answer? Can any of us know what is in the mind of another? Can we ever truly know how Peaceful someone is? Yes, we can. I made a scale for it and it is Foolproof. 

Lan Wangji takes us on quite the peacefulness roller coaster over the course of this show. He’s had some highs (while hanging out at the top of a waterfall) and some lows (dashed on the rocks below the cliffs at Nightless City) and through it all he has made like Three Whole Facial Expressions. He’s Perfect in Every Way. Now that we have been on this journey with him, now that we have become intensely, almost obsessively, familiar with his Brow Furrows and Lip Twitches and the way his Eyes somehow go all Soft and Warm, don’t we deserve to know the Official and Canonical Highest and Lowest points? We Do. Let’s begin.

Least Peaceful Episode: It is Episode 32, with a peacefulness average of 1.5/10. I think we all expected it to be Episode 33, and it would have been, if we could count only the flashback portion, which netted a staggering 0/10 average. However, the International Peacefulness Blog Rating Committee forbids such Technicalities, and Lan Wangji’s Soft Little Face when Wei Wuxian woke up tragically lost its episode the title. 

Least Peaceful Moment: Obviously. Obviously. It was awarded a -3 but we all know that this is a Lack of Peace that Cannot Be Quantified. I gave it a -3 because I couldn’t figure out how to work Absolute Despair/10 into the average. 

Most Peaceful Episode: Another twist, it’s Episode 35, with an Absolutely Incredible 6.9/10. This is because Wei Wuxian is Alive and he spends Relatively Little Time being Actively Menaced by Dogs or Nephews or Brothers or Swords. Plus a Very Homoerotic Duet. All these elements do Great Things for Lan Wangji’s peacefulness.

Most Peaceful Moment: Could there ever be any Doubt? Of course it is when Wei Wuxian Returns to Him For Forever. Lan Wangji doesn’t even appear in this scene! But the Overwhelming Peacefulness is Too Strong To Be Denied.

Series Peacefulness Average: We have come to the Crux of our Investigation. The Question that scholars have puzzled over Since Time Immemorial. How Peaceful Was Lan Wangji, On Average, Over the Course Of The Show? Through a complicated series of Calculations and Arcane Computations, I can now confirm the answer that we have all sought, the Ultimate Peacefulness Average: 4.2/10.

#lan wangji #the untamed #cql #the untamed spoilers #cql spoilers #how peaceful is lan wangji #but make it META #i am not kidding when i say this blog came to me in a dream #i think this was on my third re-watch of the show #i dreamt of rating how peaceful he was after watching episode 33 #because of that absolutely wild peacefulness whiplash #i woke up and told my wife about it and she was like 'what? what are you talking about? that's ridiculous. you should make that.' #and i laughed and said 'i can't. who would read it? and even if they did surely they would be bored of what i had to say by episode 10' #but i couldn't get the idea out of my mind! #and so i did it #thank you all for taking this journey with me #it's been a blast! #tomorrow i will answer any questions I have in my askbox or the comments on the posts #and then i will vanish into the night like lan wangji fleeing his brother's alarming perceptiveness

[shelobussy]

ASH’S TMA HURT/COMFORT/FLUFF REC LIST 

For the gays. (And @damcrows who’s been dead for the past 24 hours. Rest in peace babe. Read some gay fic. Deny the inevitability of canon. <3)

___

the end, but the start (of all things that are left to do)  by @ajkal2

Jon wakes up.

aka. mag200 tore out my heart

(Very smol, very short, very spoiler. Def recommend for anyone who just finished the podcast.)

remind me how to smile by @tamerofdarkstars

Jon is probably fine, just hiding out somewhere while the whole murder thing blows over and that's... fine. Martin is fine with that explanation. Really. He's got plenty to distract himself - like listening through the entire What the Ghost episode library, for example. Or watching Georgie Barker's Instagram livestreams.

(Yea this was in the last rec list, but you don’t understand THE ADMIRAL GIVES CUDDLES)

Chamomile by Dribbledscribbles

Whatever the ex-tea was, if it really had ever been that last bag of chamomile Martin claimed he’d found tucked in the back of the cupboard, it was fast now.

Martin had tried catching it, chasing it, blocking its way with shoebox lids and plates and an upended footstool, but the thing was just too quick. Jon knew as well as Knew that he might have left off the attempts completely if not for the creature’s preferred game.

The game was, See How Many Times I Can Push Martin Towards Cardiac Arrest Before He Comes at Me with The Broom.

(Scottish Honeymoon Era. Adorable and weird. A vampire gets harassed.)

hey stranger by @ennuijpg

It’s a late night Tesco run, how eventful could it be? It’s not like Martin is going to run into his boss who’s wearing something absurdly different from usual and get the most acute form of whiplash possible from seeing him, right?

(Martin runs into Jon at the grocery store and has an existential crisis.)

roses roses, roses. by @judesstfrancis

Rose scented laundry detergent. Running into Jon in the breakroom. Running into Jon on his way back to his desk. Rose scented detergent. Running into Jon. Roses. Jon. Roses, roses, roses. 

(Canon enemies to friends to lovers au-ish. Martin POV. Very pining much sweet.)

go softly by doomcountry

And there is nothing else besides this. 

(More hurt/comfort than fluff. Scottish Honeymoon Era. Mild eye mutilation.)

Not Alone by @backofthebookshelf

After the coffin, Daisy and Jon are both fragile. They hold each other up. 

(Post-buried Jon&Daisy starter pack. Very hurt/comfort.)

trust my love by antlsepticeye

“you… you’re real, aren’t you?” jon whispers, the fog slowly dissipating from his mind. “it is not a trick?”

“i’m here,” martin says softly, reaching up to grab jon’s hand that was resting on his cheek, intertwining his fingers with jon’s and squeezing. he moves jon’s hand to martin’s chest, resting it over his heart. “you’re alright. i’m alright. take your time, love. let’s just take some deep breaths, okay?”

(TOUCHSTARVED JON HAS ENTERED THE CHAT.)

reaching out by Athina_Blaine

By the time things settled, when Martin had finally managed to crack through his cold shell, feel some of his old self returning to him in bits and pieces, they had found their little routine.

One that had the two of them sleeping in the same bed, making breakfast, going to the mart. Where Jon reached for his wrist while they slept, and Martin luxuriated in the gentle warmth of his fingers.  

But not one where Martin reached back. One that had Martin kissing Jon awake or taking his hand over the breakfast table, because ... Martin never had the courage to try. And then it never became a part of the routine.

And Martin desperately wanted it to be.

-

Martin and Jon have an important conversation.

(More Scottish Honeymoon Era for the soul. Hurt/comfort/fluff.)

Belabor by @janekfan​

Jon's given the position of Archivist and is falling apart at the seams. Tim and Sasha are upset and playing games. Elias is overbearing and manipulative.

And poor Martin is stuck cleaning up the mess.

(THEE first fic I ever read for tma. Season 1, hurt/comfort/fluff, and hints of Jmartin. janekfan is the absolute master of seasons 1-3 hurt/comfort. This is my favorite, but pls check out the rest of their fics.)

tea, blankets, and a damnable stubborn attitude by ivelostmyspectacles

“Are you really gonna stay here and pester Jon all evening?”

“I’m not pestering him,” Martin retorted, sounding vehement if not busy going through the cupboards. “I’m heating up soup.”

“Oh, you might as well make him another cup of tea while you’re at it.”

“Oh, good idea.”

Jon shot Tim a withering look.

(The one where Jon is ill, Martin makes tea and they watch doctor who together. Fluff 1000%.)

A Kind Hand by @voiceless-terror

Jonathan Sims was adjusting just fine, thank you very much.

In which a minor workplace spill causes Jon to realize that he might have friends.

(Ah yes, the other master of seasons 1-3 fic aka voiceless-terror being my other fav author in the fandom. This one is also season 1 hurt/comfort/fluff.)

A Weather In The Flesh by @cuttoothed

"There is a span of years where Jon doesn’t touch anyone other than the occasional hand shake. It’s not so bad. He’s never been someone who’s needed physical affection."

*

Jon has never been any good at making people want to stick around.

(More touched starved Jon! Much hurt/comfort!)

Something Old, Something New by @cirrus-grey

Months have passed, and everyone is doing better than they were. Daisy and Basira are getting married, Melanie is feeling her old self, Georgie is as much herself as she has ever been, and even Jon has stabilized on his wild fall away from humanity. Everyone is doing better.

Well. Almost everyone.

(Daisy/Barsira wedding! Melanie is a bitch and we love her! Jmartin dance! Post-canon (almost) everyone lives!)

The Weight of Love by @voiceless-terror

Jon is a restless sleeper. Martin attempts to adjust. 

(The fic where Jon is literally me and Martin attempts to sleep for 1k words.)

The Art of Conversation by @voiceless-terror

"Do you ever stop talking?"

Jon has a complicated relationship with words. Difficulties come and go.

(Jon has adhd and Martin is in love.)

Novelty by @backofthebookshelf

Jon experiences A Sexual Attraction; Martin has A Concern. They figure it out.

(Any fic that explores the ace spectrum is a 10/10. We stan all ace interpretations of jon on this blog.)

Half a Hug by Dathen

I know you weren’t going to hurt me, I trust you, he said again and again. And then a different kind of fear shone through, hollow and echoing: “Please don’t stop touching me."

-

Or: Life is hard when you're touch-starved but have trauma related to your closest friend.  Spoilers through TMA 132.

(Honestly bless every author who saw jon&daisy and was like. They’re siblings. No I will not elaborate.)

the loneliness never left me (but i can put it down in the pleasure of your company) by Athina_Blaine

It was about Martin making Jon feel safe, treasured, and loved. And it had been so, so long since anyone made him feel that way.

And, in the face of it all, Jon was starting to flounder.

(At this point I just need to make separate rec list for Scottish Honeymoon Era.)

you can watch me corrode by scarletfish

"So, how long have you been pulling this shit then?"

"I… excuse me?" Jon’s indignant, certain she can’t mean what he thinks she means.

"When was the last time you ate?"

(Georgie decides Jon and Melanie need a normal day off. Jon learns that he and Melanie have more in common than he thought.)

(Look, Melanie isn’t my favorite person in tma, but she and Jon are like THE SAME PERSON and I adore fics that elaborate on their relationship.)

Out of the Wind, In From the Cold by @ostentenacity

There are two bedrooms in the safehouse, and two beds.

For a moment, Jon considers asking to share, but decides against it with a wince. “I really loved you,” Martin had told him. Loved. Past tense. And Martin doesn’t exactly have a lot of choices right now in terms of company; it would be cruel to demand he play at feelings he no longer has just to make Jon happy.

(For a moment, Martin considers asking to share. But he dismisses the idea with a shake of his head. Jon has already done so much for him. Martin isn’t about to ask for more, especially not when it’s something he doesn’t really need. He has his right mind back, and he has Jon’s friendship. That should be enough for him. It’ll have to be.)

---

Jon thinks that Martin doesn’t love him. Martin thinks that Jon doesn’t love him. They do not, of course, discuss this. Unrequited love is already awkward enough, right? No need to dwell on it.

(THEE SCOTTISH HONEYMOON ERA FIC. IT’S ABOUT THE PINING, BEING MUTUALLY OBLIVIOUS AND FALLING IN LOVE. 10000/10.) 

I Do by @voiceless-terror

“I, um- this was supposed to be a lot more romantic, I swear.” Martin looks down at the dirty bar floor. “I had it all planned out, I-I was going to take you somewhere nice, and then we’d go for a walk in the square- I’ll still do it!” He hurries to explain, as if that’s the most pressing part of this situation. “It’ll be really nice, I’ve already hired a photographer-”

In a fit of protectiveness, Martin proposes to Jon.

(Everyone lives, Martin accidentally proposes and Jon is crying in public.) 

________

#lmao follow for more fic recs #ash recs #ash's rec list #ash recs fics #tma fic list #tma fics #jmart #jmartin #jon sims #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tma fic recs

[sebbybooks]

Wreck My Daydream

Part Two

Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction

18+

Tagged🎄

@wayward-mikaelson

Cataglottism

(n.) kissing with tongue

I’m already wet and Sebastian barely even touched me.

I hardly gave myself a moment to be ashamed or even stir in the crass words I was using even if I had only thought them. Like a diary I suppose there was no need to lie to myself considering it was one hundred percent true. I, Nellie Lennox, was unabashedly met with unending desires that washed away my trepidations that led up to this moment.

In its place I felt this newfound sense of possibilities that I wasn’t actually making an ass out of myself with my sudden confession of feelings for Sebastian. In my defense I didn’t just wake up one morning after having some epiphany as to why I wanted to be with him. The thought of us together made itself at home in the back of my mind.

Almost like a what if. . .

However, I couldn’t help but be terrified of all the ways it could go wrong. What if I had made things weird between us forcing us apart? Life would be a bitter existence if Sebastian wasn’t around in some capacity. For the longest time I tried to find him in different relationships. It is a messed up philosophy, but it almost worked. Whenever things would get too serious it nearly terrified me. I was their someday and they were my maybe. I owed this last relationship that is still so freshly cut more than that.

I owed myself that.

On the unique and rare chance I somehow got lost in a very realistic maladaptive daydream, I’m pretty certain Sebastian wants this too. Just thinking about what he had told me seconds ago made my heartbeat drum to a dizzy rhythm. Imagining myself getting fucked to the beat of it was a completely different type of sensation.

Retraining my focus on the now I could see it in Sebastian’s face all the wheels going around in his head. Confusion? Uncertainty? Regret?

“You don’t get to do that.” I tell him. I felt like I was going to climb out of my own skin if he left me suspended in the silence for a second longer. Sebastian tipped his face closer to mine, our lips gingerly brushing against each other. Perhaps he was feeling ambivalent in regards of his feelings for me? After all this was sprung on him in the middle of the night.

Sebastian shook his head as if he was at war with himself. “I want to.” His voice was strained and dangerously low, like something was causing him utter misery being this close, yet not knowing exactly when to pull away.

“Then why don’t you.” I dared him.

I was growing impatient with this slow burn we had somehow started. I wanted to play with this fire. If I got burned in the end by his touch then so be it. At least I would forever be marked with a reminder of knowing that I at least went after something I wanted with no apology. I wanted to see how far he was willingly to go.

Sebastian removed his hand from the security of being wrapped around me. I feigned a disappointed sigh at the lack of contact. My entire body must have been on autopilot , because I didn’t recognize the position I was in. I practically sat in his lap with one leg wrapped around him and the other one mindlessly dangling over the bed. Of course the mind reader that Sebastian was naturally grabbed ahold of the side of my thigh and wrapped it around his back.

It wasn’t like I was naive to sex or never had my fair share of romantic conquest. Regardless of my experiences I still felt like a gigantic ball of nerves. The way he stared down at me with a heated look in his eyes as if he wanted to posses every inch of me. Hell, I felt like I could come undone from that alone.

The hand that was planted on my back slowly drifted downward trailing the curve of my backside gripping my ass through my thinly silk hunter green shorts that matched the top. Earlier I had berated myself for wearing scantly clad pajamas to bed. Now I am thanking my lucky stars I opted out of the option of wearing a red Christmas onesie that had polar bears wearing scarfs around their necks. They were ones my mother insisted the whole family wear.

If I had I probably would not have been able to feel his erection that was restrained in his sweatpants. Trying to situate myself closer I rocked into him slightly, massaging myself on him. My ears didn’t miss the subtle groan Sebastian let out from the feel of my weight pressing further into him.

His silence wasn’t lost on me and he still hadn’t answered my question so I did it again. I wanted him to say something. My nervousness abated at this point. I twined my arms around his neck, grinding myself against him again and again. All the while Sebastian watched my every movement with a hint of a star struck look in his eyes. The feeling was certainly mutual I was even shocking myself at my behavior.

“Nellie,” Sebastian finally says, voice husky. He usually only ever calls me by my nickname so I was more than sure that he was not fully himself.

“I’m a big girl Sebastian I can handle whatever you need to say.” I tell him, holding in my breath.

“Alright,” he said with uncertainty. “You and me, this, it’s not a good idea.” His tone was barely audible and even more so he sounded hurt. Everything in me froze.

“And why is that?” I asked him more confused than ever. Suddenly feeling absolutely self conscious as I over analyzed every intimate word I just shared with him. I was even more horrified by the fact that I was dry humping my best friend.

He let out a darkly laugh. “It’s pretty damn obvious Nells.” Sebastian says rather ominously.

“...It’s not actually.” For someone that wants nothing out of this, Sebastian was holding on to me like an anchor and I on the other hand just wanted to get away and sink.

Admittedly, I was losing this game of tug a war. There was only so much I was willing to endure even I had my limits. “You’re giving me whiplash Sebastian .” I tell him honestly, “ I’m not like those other girls you go for that are satisfied with you just dangling yourself in front of them like a piece of cake that I can’t have. I meant what I said when I told you I didn’t say it just to hear you say the same.” My voice could only rise so high in pitch.

I definitely didn’t want to wake up the upstairs guest that would love nothing more than to recap this conversation over breakfast. Then like an unexpected bolt of lighting startling you from a distance, Sebastian kissed me.

Sebastian

I am a selfish bastard.

My mind fell quiet when I looked at her. I wanted to swim in the serenity and peacefulness that was this smart, vibrant, sexy, and uniqueness this woman possessed. I only wondered even in the darkness could Nellie see my eyes as plainly as I can see hers. If so could she see the shame reflecting in them? I could feel the nagging weight of my conscience siting on both of my shoulders, arguing back and forth over what I should and shouldn’t do. It was kind of ironic that the devil in my ear insisted that I give in to the angel in my lap.

God knows I waited for her and that I would keep waiting if I had to in this lifetime or the next. It was always going to be Nellie for me. I wanted to tell her all of this, but the longer I held on to this slice of heaven I was given during this random hour. I also knew that this moment was fleeting. I basked in the way she looked at me, the way she held on to me like I was an object of virtue. I also got a sample of what it would be like to lose her the second she began to slip away on her own accord. So, I did what any poor fool would do in my position. I kissed her.

It wasn’t exactly suave or how I imagined it would go. My mouth sort of crushed against her unmoving lips in a rushed and unskilled manner. Frankly, I wasn’t sure what I was doing, I certainly could do a hell of a lot better than this. An yet, it was still like I predicted it would be, filled with pure unadulterated pleasure. Nellie’s lips were sweet and warm, exactly how I imagined forbidden fruit to taste like.

A perfect mixture of firm and softness that drove me wild. She flattened her hands on my bare chest as if to brace herself. Nellie pushed herself away, but her face was still so close to me. She didn’t speak and neither could I. I forced myself to look up at her and hoped that she could see I would do everything in my power to earn her forgiveness. That it was a mistake I will make right somehow.

“Nell,” I let out an exasperated breath. “ I have a need for you that goes deeper than just lust and I know that it will never truly be sated. The killer thing is I’m already at risk of losing you before I even had you.”

Nellie stared hazily up at me.“You already have me.” She whispered, our lips still grazing. Those four simple words set off a firework in me. This time when I kissed her our mouths came together like we needed to feed off of each other’s oxygen in order to survive. I’d suffer if I didn’t have it.

My mouth was greedy for hers, and I could imagine she felt the same. The moment I felt her lips slightly part open to let me in, less than a second our tongues slid together in a torrid and sensually slow pace. We kissed like a couple of eager teenagers. My heart threatened to leap from my chest when the tip of Nell’s tongue moved across my bottom lip. She tastes like gingerbread , mixed with some other divine flavor that I can only assume is Nellie. She arched herself closer into my chest and I could feel the points of her hardened nipples through her top. I seized the opportunity to press her body close because I needed more.

I wanted to feel the heat of her soft skin on mine. She returned her arms back around my neck tightly holding me in place as she angled her head kissing me back with the same ferocity. Deeply, and oh so thoroughly by the way she sucked on my tongue. I had a rough grip on her ass keeping Nellie steady as she straddled me. I was so damn hard for her. If my dick could get even harder it was bound to. Nellie did that thing again where she grinds down on my erection and I cursed at myself to not combust. I grabbed ahold of her hips guiding her to move faster, harder.

I kept telling myself to savor her, fucking take my time with this moment. I couldn’t just rip those tiny little shorts off and sink myself into her over and over until we’ve both had enough. But even then I would always need more of her. I wasn't a sentimental man, with Nellie I at least wanted to try. I wanted my first night with Nell to be a little less spontaneous than this. It wasn’t like I came prepared for festivities filled with endless fucks. Plus the added fact I couldn’t let things get too carried away especially since she still didn’t know what I have done.

Yeah, I am a very selfish bastard.

I didn’t want this to end. I wanted my mouth to explore every single part of Nellie. I wanted the taste of her to live on my tongue. I wanted to go as far as she and my consciousness would allow me.

“I need to touch you.” I panted, between every nip and kiss I left on the delicate area of skin under her jaw.

“You’re already touching me.” She says with a soft laugh, which was a melody to my ears. I was but at the same time I wasn’t. I needed to rid Nellie of any barrier that prevented me from branding her skin with my touch.

“This…off.” I tug gently on the bottom of her tank top before returning my hands to rest on her thighs, caressing them as I sucked on her neck for dear life. Going back and forth between grazing her neck with my teeth then licking over the area to soothe any imprint I’ve left.

Nellie crisscrossed her arms reaching for the hem of her top gracefully pulling it over her head. She purposely fell backwards onto the mattress aiming her shirt at my face. For as long as I’ve known Nell she was never one to be shy in her own skin.

“Imagine how unsexy that would have been if I hit my head on the headboard.”

“As long as you didn’t hurt yourself I would have just pretended that I didn’t see a thing.” I teased.

“Ah, to think they wonder where all of the good men have gone.” Nell scrunched up her nose pretending to be lost in critical thought.

I cock my head to the side. “Mm-hmm. Are you mocking me?”

“What if I am?”Her plump wet lips spread into a smile.

It was miracle I caught a word of what she said to me. I swallowed a groan as my eyes drift over the area of her body that was naked from the waist up. Nellie was clearly a stolen painting from the Louvre that I had no intention of returning. All I could do was stare.

With her legs still draped around me, my hands slide up the curve of her torso passing her ribs. I sensed that she was watching me, but I didn’t dare take my eyes off of her just yet. The pads of my fingers traced over to her breast and my mouth practically watered at the sight of them. She was ethereal.

“Don’t suddenly go mute on me Sebastian.” She let out a shaky breath.

I’ve heard her say my name a thousand times. Hearing her say it in this state created a feeling of warmth that filled my chest. I could only begin to imagine the different ways I wanted to hear her call out my name. My gift, my best friend, my Nellie. Those last words had a sting to them even as I thought them. Deep down I knew that was never going to be true.

I eased all the way down my tongue traveling around the dip of her navel. Creating a path up the center of her abdomen. I knew that Nell was extremely ticklish. The slightest form of contact would automatically turn her into a ninja. From the way she was pressing herself back into the mattress I knew she was trying her hardest not to flee. Of course I found it rather enticing so I made sure to spend extra time over the areas of her exposed skin I knew to be the most sensitive. Brushing the tip of my nose between her breast my mouth finally latched on to what I’ve been waiting for.

“So fucking beautiful.” I say as I graze my mouth over the stiff peak of her nipple. I was in awe over the ability that they simultaneously could feel hard yet felt extremely soft. I dragged the tip of my tongue around the bud of it in a languid movement before sucking it in deep. I loved listening to the sounds she made while I sucked and devoured as much as I could fit into my mouth. I wanted to hear a symphony of the noises that escaped from Nellie.

Going for one after the other not wanting to miss out on either. Nellie kept a limp hand pressed into my hair keeping me close as if I dared to stop.

Writhing underneath me Nellie gasped,“Touch me.”

Now she understood what I meant. My own body felt betrayed by my decision. I literally ached from pain and pleasure. Truthfully I wouldn’t opt for a better scenario than this. I would be more than gratified with giving Nellie an orgasm or two.

Still leaving featherlight kisses across her chest. With one hand I reach down and brushed along the dip of Nellie’s hip, then began to tug away at her shorts. To my surprise she was bare underneath. This was a new and uncharted territory we were crossing.

Tell me to stop, say that this is just the wrong time, tell me we would never work. Those words never escaped me, the sound of the goddamn doorbell intervened for her. My movements hesitated then shortly I picked up on inaudible chattering out in the hall. Nellie turned her head in the direction towards the door which I hoped like hell was locked. “Maybe we should go see what’s going on.” Her eyes widened.

“Or we could stay here and not shame the fact that I was two seconds away from wrapping your legs around my face while I tasted the slickness between your thighs. ” Nellie released a ragged breath and I meant every word.

To my dissatisfaction we were composed in under three minutes. I felt a strange sense of comfort and pride seeing that ever so often I’d catch Nellie looking in my direction smiling like she had some big secret she was bursting to tell. Which only made me feel like an even bigger asshole. The walk downstairs was surprisingly noisy. Someone had plugged the Christmas tree back up and there was a chilly wind breaking in as the front door came to an immediate shut.

Nellie’s parents were both moving around in a fast pace trying to find new spots to put a couple of suitcases. I had to swallow down a chuckle at the sight of their bold choice of pajamas. Nellie had already beaten me to the bottom of the staircase just as I rounded the corner of the spiral stairs.

“Cousin!” Vanessa squealed rushing over towards Nellie, who excitedly embraced her the same. They exchanged a few excitable words to each other that I tuned out. I was busy focusing on the six foot son of a bitch with a puppy dog expression on his face standing awkwardly behind them.

“Now you know Nells Bells you can’t have Christmas without good ole St. Nicholas can you?” She winked at a stone faced Nellie who just looked straight ahead at her ex boyfriend Nick. “I hope it’s okay I brought him over with me. I saw him at the airport dozed off in a chair.” Vanessa whispered as she leaned into Nell, like she just earned a gold star. Soon as Vanessa’s wild dark brown eyes caught ahold me I knew my bubble was about to pop.

“Something told me I was off the naughty list this year.” Vanessa bit at her glossed up lips and made a beeline towards me, wrapping her arms around my waist. She smelled like an overtly sweet perfume that tortured my sinuses. “Did you forget how to work a phone or what? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for days. I miss you.” She cooed.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nellie watching the two of us. This was my punishment.

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan imagine #bucky barnes imagine #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian x reader #marvel imagine #sebbytrash #sebby stan #bucky fandom #marvel smut #mcu smut #bucky barnes smut #sebastian stan smut #sebastian smut #mcu fanfiction #fanfic #sebastian stan fic #sebbybarnes #sebastian fluff #sebastian stan fandom #bucky fic #fic #sebastian stan story #sebastian stan one shot #Sebastian Stan fluff #sebastian oneshot

[hellshoundtm]

“ i thought i might find you here. ”

the more he thinks about it, the more he doesn’t fucking understand why he is where he is. lux stands, tall and proud. a beacon to those that need it and for years blue has needed it   —   needed the parties and the noise and the rush of every high he could get his mouth on. burning. wild. the hound has been something constant, something unstoppable for so long that when the brakes come, he ends up with whiplash. cold; the temperature has dropped the little amount necessary so that his breath is visible at every exhale   —   steam adding to smoke as he sits and waits like some promised stray at cain’s steps. he shouldn’t be here. as time passes, he reminds himself of  this little fact. and yet he sits, quiet. lost in thought. lost in himself. the cherry on his cigarette flares as he pulls one more time but it’s nothing compared to the fire in his chest when he hears the motorcycle, when he realizes that cain is actually near. the sensation makes him pause and he knows he’s not sober   —   knows he’s far from it when he realizes that there’s actual hope in his heart. hope. something he has no business with, something he hasn’t actually had since the days of the silver city. his heart flips. he tells himself that it isn’t too late, that he could simply disappear and there wouldn’t be anything but a stamped out cigarette on the step to let cain know he was ever there. observant, the immortal would notice but it’s not like it would be something he’d actually dwell on   —   not like it’d be something cain would waste time thinking about. days. it’s been several days since they both crossed paths; the precinct has been abuzz with a new case that involved plenty of bodies. stress. focus. the hound has kept his distance to allow cain to play his role as marcus pierce, to let him spend his sentence in a way that blue is still trying to understand. serving humans. but refusing to get attached to any of them. marcus pierce is well respected   —   admired, spoken of so highly. they all have their versions of him. different songs. different notes. blue’s been writing his own but he keeps crossing out words, keeps getting frustrated. he’s not used to this. he’s not used to there being feelings that linger despite his poisons of choice. sometimes he thinks they make things worse. sometimes he drinks regular alcohol and frowns because it doesn’t come from one of cain’s bottles. impersonal. water, against his senses. it doesn’t hit the same. just like other people’s attention. and that’s starting to become a fucking problem. cigarette snuffed out on the bottom of his boot, the time for slipping away comes and goes as cain pulls in and removes his helmet. blue sits, stuck. waiting. watching   —   exhale almost white against night air as words are spoken. knowing. they solved the case, today. lapd’s beloved marcus, victorious once again. no doubt there were offers to go out to one of the many cop bars and drink to celebrate, no doubt there were high hopes that the other expertly shot down. a long day. more work to do. paperwork that he’s likely brought home with him   —   keeping him from being a liar. blue tries not to let this concept go to his head   —   tries not to wonder if cain also turned them down for this very reason, for a chance to come home and find the hound there again. again. a-fucking-gain. he shouldn’t be here. and he absolutely shouldn’t open his mouth   —   but he does.

“thought or hoped?” his own dilemma, teased as he pushes himself up and makes quick work of the few steps needed to end up down at cain’s level. the smile on his face is too familiar   —   too fond. happy. like a dog trying not to fucking jump and touch the moment their person ends up through the door. excitement radiates and yet blue is careful; he knows cain is run thin, that he will more than likely want some space. some peace and quiet. “i just came t’drop somethin’ off, anyway. then i’ll be outta your hair.” his hand ends up in the pocket of his jacket   —   closed around something small that he offers forward. fingers open to reveal a small rock. dark. so warm, due to his grasp. a piece of familiar pillars housing doors that cain is never supposed to see. impossibly rare. not of earth, at all   —   and a worthy addition to cain’s collection. a gift, terribly personal. words come, warm. sincere. “congrats   —    on th’case and everythin’. i know it was a pain in the ass.”

#deathlessdamned #if you think you see this no you don't. #no you fucking do not.

[walviemort]

hidden blessing (5/?)

Summary: Killian thought the only thing he was left with after Milah’s death was a broken heart and a thirst for vengeance. It’s not until he gets to Storybrooke, after so many years spent in stasis, that he discovers something else: he’s carrying her child. How does this new, tiny blessing change his path? (Canon-divergent from 2x12.)

rated T | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | AO3 | 3.1k

a/n: Hope I didn’t keep y’all waiting too long on this! Not sure when the next chapter will go up but hopefully not as long :) We’re into Neverland now! and, as always, dedicated to the darling @sherlockianwhovian​

Splashing down in Neverland filled Killian with an array of emotions, few of them positive. They’d made it through the portal in one piece, thankfully, but just the sight of the cursed island looming on the horizon filled him with dread. Getting here had been the easy part; gods only knew what lay ahead.

“Is that it?” Emma called out once the ship had set itself to rights (Killian was mildly jealous of it; his stomach matched the churning sea below them).

“Aye,” he confirmed. “Neverland.”

He couldn’t see her face to read her expression, but the determined set of her shoulders told him everything: she was willing to risk all to save her son. He saw similar in the fierce expression Regina wore, even in the composed and precise manner of Snow and David. And yet again he wondered: was he really cut out for parenting? 

His life was dangerous. Hell, he himself was known to be. Yet again, he’d dragged his child to this timeless realm; how long would the babe’s growth be stalled now? What if something happened to him? What if Pan found a way to use it against them?

As if to calm him down, he felt a few strong kicks just behind his navel. Well, that was a good sign, he supposed. He let out a quiet sigh of relief and set to the task of navigating them to the island.

“Why are you slowing down?” Regina snapped, suddenly at his side. “In case you didn't know, my son's life is in danger.”

He bit back a huff, only because he knew her anger was a mask for her fear. “Oh, I know, my hot-headed Queen. The plan is to bring us to the far side of the island, link up with the widest part of the river, and.. then we sail right through, take him by surprise,” he explained. “The irony…” he muttered under his breath.

“What irony?” she asked, much more calmly.

“Oh, I spent more time than I care to remember trying to leave this place to kill Rumplestiltskin. And here I am, sailing right back into its heart with him as my guest of honor.” The man in question had disappeared below deck nearly as soon as they landed. “It's not quite the happy ending I was hoping for.”

Regina seemed oddly thoughtful. “Greg Mendell said something funny to me. He said I'm a villain, and that villains don't get happy endings. You believe that?”

Weeks ago, he would have concurred; but now… “I hope not, or we've wasted our lives.”

“I thought Henry was going to be mine,” she admitted quietly. “Little did I know he’d just be the start of another adventure.” Then she smiled at him. “You’ll know what I’m talking about soon enough.”

“Assuming we all make it out of this alive,” he tossed back, expressing his own realism as he overheard a tense bit of conversation between the Charming family that seemed to revolve around the inherent optimism Emma had not inherited. “Though, I have been meaning to ask—how could you tell?”

“That you were knocked up? Please; I’m Cora’s daughter. She taught me long ago how to look for any signs of weakness. And Hook? You’re practically glowing,” she told him, smirking.

He couldn't hold back his own smile at that; while logically, he knew that put him at risk to other enemies knowing, it was also kind of nice to know his own newfound source of joy showed in his demeanor. It had been well over a century since he’d even really had anything to be happy about.

Their attention was drawn to the deck by Snow’s insistent promise to Emma of, “We'll find Henry.” Well, that was the point, wasn't it?

“No, you won't.” From nowhere, the Dark One had appeared on the quarterdeck, his earlier instruments put away and now in garb typical of the Enchanted Forest. 

“Oh, that's a great use of our time—a wardrobe change,” Killian quipped, but if Gold heard, he didn’t acknowledge it—and instead went on to lecture the group on how they would not succeed in their endeavor.

“What makes you think I'm gonna fail?” Emma bit back, angry, and he didn’t blame her. (In fact, it was rather when he liked her best—passionate.)

“Well, how could you not?” Rumplestiltskin insisted. “You don't believe in your parents, or in magic, or even yourself.”

“I slayed a dragon. I think I believe.” Now that was a story Killian needed to hear.

“Only what was shown to you. When have you ever taken a real leap of faith? You know, the kind where there's absolutely no proof?” The Dark One continued his diatribe, but Killian’s gaze was fixed on Emma—and the way he could see the doubts and fear beginning to cloud her mind.

“I'll do whatever it takes,” she insisted, but he could tell she was trying to convince herself as much as Gold.

“Well, you just need someone to tell you what that is. Sorry, dearie, our foe is too fearsome for hand-holding.” That, unfortunately, was accurate. “Neverland is a place where imagination runs wild. And, sadly, yours doesn't.” And then the bastard disappeared. Alas, it was just as well. Plus, the man was starting to make Killian nauseous.

Or perhaps that was just the babe; he’d never been one to be seasick but considering everything, he was definitely feeling a bit green. He used the silence that followed the Dark One’s departure to make sure they were set on the right course, but once that was set, he asked the Charmings to hold the helm while he sought out the ginger drops he knew were hiding in his cabin.

He was only slightly surprised to find Emma had beaten him down there, and was practicing pullups on a bar in the room. She paused when she heard his footsteps.

“Oh, don't stop on my account,” he said, admiring the view as he walked past. Her form-fitting trousers were stirring other sorts of feelings in him; goodness, these hormones were going to give him whiplash.

“Wouldn't think of it,” she replied, pretending to ignore him, and went back to it.

He easily located the drops, sitting in a pouch on his desk. “What are you doing?” he had to ask.

“Getting ready for a fight,” she bit back, pulling herself up and then landing back on the platform.

“Well, I've never known you to need to get ready for a fight. I thought it was a natural state,” he teased as he grabbed the bag, then reapproached her. “Don't let Rumplestiltskin get you down, love.”

She jumped down from the ledge and leveled a glare at him. “Why did you come down here? What is that?” she demanded, nodding at the bag in his hand.

“Ginger drops,” he said, then quickly realized he wasn’t ready to divulge his need of them. “They help with seasickness; Her Highness was looking a bit green around the gills.”

That got a bit of a smile out of her, and thankfully she bought the lie. Although, when he glanced at the shelf to the left of them, he remembered something hidden inside—something that might boost her morale. 

“Might you permit me to give you something?” he asked, not wanting to offend her. She nodded.

He pocketed the drops and fished out a key from another pocket. “You know, Baelfire and I once spent a lot of time together,” he started to explain as he unlocked a compartment built into the shelf.

“He was always Neal to me,” she replied, albeit morosely.

“Yeah. Right,” he acknowledged, then grabbed the object hidden behind the small door. “This was his.”

It was a sword—a small cutlass he had once used to teach the lad how to fight, and damn near took his own head off when things went sour. Gingerly, Emma took it from him with both hands.

“I didn't realize you were sentimental,” she said as she assessed it.

“I'm not,” he lied again, and saw another useful item sitting on the shelf. “I just thought you could use it where we're going. You know, to fight.” And then he handed her the shot glass.

“Thanks,” she said as he filled it with rum from his flask, which he then offered up in a toast.

“To Neal.” (He knew what all the books said about drinking during pregnancy, but given the current stasis, one shot likely couldn’t hurt.)

“To Neal,” she answered, and clinked the glass against the flask before downing the shot. (Guilt got the better of him, and he only had a small sip.) 

After a brief, but not uncomfortable silence, Emma asked, “How long was he with you?”

“Long enough for me to know that I miss him, too,” he answered, this time truthfully. As surreptitiously as he could, he rested his hand on his belt—because he could feel the sudden intense flutters within, as if the child somehow knew they were talking about their sibling—or perhaps was encouraging him to do something else.

Emma had shown utmost trust in him in undertaking this journey. And if they were going to get through this and achieve their goal, then that was going to have to go all directions. It would be fair of him to show he trusted her by revealing his condition, wouldn’t it?

He swallowed and was about to tell her, but the small peace they’d had was interrupted by a loud bang against the hull and sudden groaning and creaking of the ship.

“What was that?” Emma blurted out, and they quickly dashed up to the deck to see what was amiss.

Emma’s parents were struggling to hold the wheel steady, and the waves were tossing the ship about like it was a toy. Only he quickly realized—this was no natural storm, and a glance over the railing confirmed his fears.

HIs nausea would have to wait, lest none of them survive. He made a mad dash for the helm to try to wrest control of it. “Prepare for attack!”

“Be more specific,” Regina demanded, clearly not understanding the gravity of the situation.

“If you've got a weapon, then grab it,” he called out as he fought against the wheel.

“What's out there? A shark? A whale?” Emma guessed; if only she’d guessed right.

“A kraken?” her father added.

“Worse.” An unholy screeching filled the air. “Mermaids.”

The next—gods, he wasn’t even sure how long—fell into a blur of panic and anger as the vile creatures mounted their attack and his passengers made the idiotic mistake of not only bringing one on board, but angering her even more (and possibly killing her). Which of course brought on a violent storm and even more vicious emotions; it was all he could do to keep the prince’s fists away from Killian’s abdomen (again). 

And then Emma leapt into the sea, taking his stomach with her. They managed to save her but it left him with an uncomfortable amount of adrenaline in his system, even if their cooperation ended up dissipating the storm. Bloody Neverland and its odd magic.

Despite a breach in the hull, he managed to get the Roger to land, although not where he had planned. And it would need repairs before they could attempt to leave the realm. But at least they’d made it this far.

And to think—this would likely be the easy part.

To his shock, Regina voiced her support of his original plan once they made landfall, but even he knew that a sneak attack was unlikely to happen at this point; there was no way Pan didn’t know they were there, not after what had just happened on the sea. There was an aggravating omniscience about that boy.

“It's time we stop running,” Emma lectured. “Gold was right. This land is run on belief. All of us have been too busy being at each other's throat to be believers. I was as wrong as anyone else. It's time for all of us to believe. Not in magic, but in each other.”

“You want to be friends? After everything that's happened between all of us?” As inclined as he was to agree with Emma, Regina had a point; he had not one but two sore spots on his face from David.

“I don't want or expect that. I know there's a lot of history here, a lot of hate,” Emma countered.

“Actually, I quite fancy you from time to time, when you're not yelling at me,” Killian quipped in a lame attempt to lighten the mood. And then immediately regretted it; gods, did pregnancy brain also mean he blurted out his every thought? He’d need to sharpen that, and quickly.

“We don't need to be friends. What we need now is the only way to get Henry back, which is cooperation.”

“With her? With him?” the prince protested, gesturing Killian’s way. “No, Emma. We have to do this the right way.” Killian did manage to bite back a comment on the prince’s self-righteousness.

“No, we don't. We just need to succeed. And the way we do that is by just being who we are—a hero, a villain, a pirate.” He had to admit the slight thrill it gave him when Emma’s gaze lingered on him. “It doesn't matter which, because we're going to need all those skills, whether we can stomach them or not.”

“And what's your skill, Savior?” Regina tossed back.

“I'm a mother. And now I'm also your leader. So either help me get my son back or get out of the way.” And without waiting for a reply, she turned on her heel and headed towards the jungle. 

Gods, he loved it when she was fired up like that.

Snow was quick to follow Emma, as was David, who cast an oddly inviting look Killian’s way, as if challenging him to turn back now. Which, of course, he wouldn’t. 

Killian didn’t hesitate to fall in line, but not before throwing a glance at Regina; she was still put out, it seemed, by Emma’s take charge attitude. Someone had to, though. And Henry was her son, too.

She wasn’t far behind him.

It quickly became apparent that, as the only one who had any idea where they were, Killian should lead; he knew there was a ridge not far up that would give them a decent view of the island and hopefully reveal Pan’s hiding spot. Regina balked at the idea of hiking, but was convinced otherwise when they reminded her of the dangers at every turn.

“He’s right,” Emma told her. “Hook's lived here before. If he says hiking up is the best way, then we listen.” He wasn’t expecting the vote of confidence, but it was nice to have; he wasn’t naive enough to think that perhaps his attraction was reciprocated, but it was an extra reminder that he had Emma’s trust—which wasn’t easy to come by.

But of course, the wriggling thing in his belly was a reminder that he needed to place equal trust in her.

At least—after he saved the idiot next to him from slashing his way to death.

He saw the vines before he saw David swing back to slice at them and was able to shout a warning and get his hook around the man’s bicep before he could make contact.

The prince shook him off angrily. “I can handle a couple of thorns.”

“That's dreamshade,” Killian explained, nodding toward the demonic plant. “It's not the thorns you have to worry about. It's the poison they inject you with. This plant is the source of the toxins I used on the Dark One.”

They were all familiar, it seemed, with his failed assassination attempt—but were aware of its potency, and seemed to take his message about its effects to heart. Killian wasn’t about to lose another ally to that venom, even if they weren’t exactly on friendly terms.

“I suggest we go this way,” he directed, nodding down the path to the right of the bush.

David glanced at it, then looked the other direction. “We'll go this way.” Bloody obstinate arse. But Snow followed him, and then it was Regina’s turn to throw a wry glance his way.

Emma came up behind her and he fell into step with her. “Your father's a distrustful fellow,” he observed.

“He's just not used to working with the bad guys.”

“I can assure you, on this island, I am not the bad guy.”

“Yeah, well, Pan's not supposed to be one either,” she countered.

“What possibly gave you that idea?” The concept of that demon be considered remotely good turned his stomach (unless that was just the usual nausea stirring up again).

“Every story I ever heard as a child,” she explained, oblivious to his discomfort.

“Well, they got it all wrong. Pan is the most treacherous villain I've ever faced.” He tried to swallow down the bile that was churning inside, and decided to change the subject slightly. “Tell me something, love. In these stories...what was I like? Other than a villain. Handsome, I gather?”

She smirked, but not necessarily in a good way. “If waxed mustaches and perms are your thing.”

Sometimes, it felt like they were speaking different languages. “I take it by your tone, perms are bad?”

She just laughed a bit as they continued on, but they didn’t get much farther before the contents of his stomach came up with little warning. He managed to bite out an “excuse me” before ducking alongside a tree and retching. Ugh, he’d hoped with things in stasis, this part of pregnancy would be on pause, too; apparently not.

“Woah, Hook—are you okay?” Emma asked, hovering near his side. “You’re not hungover or something, are you?”

It took a moment to catch his breath. “Far from it,” he replied.

“Did you catch some rare Neverland stomach bug or something? Is that something else we need to worry about?”

He chuckled humorlessly. “I suppose you could call it that, but it has nothing to do with Neverland.”

He straightened from his hunched-over position to find her staring at him with her brow furrowed, both assessing him and confused at the same time. “What is going on, then? It’s going to be hard for you to guide us if you’re not 100%.”

Well, it looked like she was going to force his hand. “If you must know,” he started, then leaned in closer and lowered his voice to a whisper. “I’m pregnant.”

------------------------

thanks for reading! tagging  @cocohook38​​​​ @wyntereyez​​​​ @jennjenn615​​​​ @superadam54​​​​ @ashley-knightingale​​​​ @justsomewhump​ (let me know if you want a tag!)

#cs ff #killian jones ff #mpreg #hidden blessing #My ff

[jackiesarch]

i am...admittedly long overdue in posting this because i’m a nightmare, but in my defense i did forget i had written this. all that aside, this piece was written for the far cry 5 2020 fanzine! if you haven’t already checked it out, please do - it’s full of some incredible creators and creations they should all be proud of. 

i was paired with the wonderful @hawkfurze​ on this one, whose accompanying art can be found here and is absolutely incredible. thank you for being such a pleasure to work with! we made a great team!

and finally, a thank you to @unclefungusthegoat for putting this all together during such a crazy time - your hard work and dedication to making this happen is appreciated more than you know. 

Jacob doesn’t know who ordered a scouting mission in the middle of nowhere, but he’d like to get his hands on them to ask them what the hell kind of good they thought it would do. 

Whatever name was printed on the map when they set out that morning means nothing by the time they arrive, and Jacob suspects that it hasn’t for a while. It’s a small place, and if he had to wager a guess, it probably hadn’t been home to more than a hundred people at its prime. Now, it’s empty, a haunted blip in an otherwise solitary desert.

The rest of the squad stops ahead, just at the edge of the ruined, crumbling village, and Jacob’s eyes are drawn to Miller as he roots around his utility belt for his canteen. He doesn’t blame him – it’s hot, and sweat pricks at the back of his neck as he surveys the mess of crumbled brick and splintered wood that used to be homes. The place looks like it’s been through hell and back. He thinks it probably has. 

“Where now?” The man who speaks is young and cocky, full of himself like most of the guys Jacob has met fresh out of basic. 

Miller’s the one that speaks, in the end. 

“Through here, I guess,” he says, gesturing to the village. 

Jacob follows their lead, hiking his gear further up on his back and trudging forward through the desert. From the looks of it, the place hasn’t been home to anyone in a while. Sand accumulates in the corners of buildings and across what remains of stone steps.

Movement in the corner of his eye sets him on edge.  Noise follows it, and Jacob tenses, raising his weapon in the direction of the sound. His eyes flit from right to left and back again until he sees it - two small figures, crouched in the fragmented doorway of one of the houses on his left. From this far away, he can tell that one is older than the other, by a few years at the very least. 

Jacob looks around. Other than the kids in front of him and the squad wandering through the sand and rubble, the village is empty. There’s not another soul alive in this place. If they weren’t already before the city fell to ruin, these boys are orphans now.

They’re thin. It’s the first thing Jacob notices as he approaches, gun now lowered to his side. The younger of the two looks healthier, has more light in his eyes and more meat on his bones. The older one doesn't look like he’s eaten in days. It occurs to him that past the hollowed cheeks, past the visible ribs, there’s a resemblance that’s uncanny. They’re brothers, he thinks. 

The eldest pushes his sibling behind him, a move that Jacob is so familiar with that watching it feels like having whiplash. The memories hit him the same way he imagines a train might, and he recoils mentally at the images that flood into his brain. A starving baby, red-faced and screaming, his tiny fists waving in the air. A shy boy with messy hair, crying out for attention, his only friends in the world his two brothers. 

Jacob fights the urge to run, to bolt and scrub his mind clean with another day of blood and guts and fighting. Instead, he holds his hands up, palms facing the boys, a universal gesture of surrender. I come in peace, he wants to say, but forgoes it for the sake of not sounding like some kind of alien.

The boys are still, their eyes wide and nervous, unsure of where to go or what to do. Slowly, Jacob lowers his hands. He moves at a snail’s pace as he shrugs his pack from his shoulders, opens it, and rummages around inside, careful not to startle the boys. He’s not got much on him in the way of food, but his fingers close around an apple. He’d snatched it on his way out that morning, just out of habit. Now, he digs it out, sets his bag in the sand beside him, and crouches down in front of the children, holding the fruit out for them to take. 

“Here,” he says, jerking his head toward the apple. “You hungry?”

Their tentativeness makes a long-forgotten part of him ache with renewed fervor. Jacob stays crouched, pushing past memories of John and Joseph, of the apprehensive looks on their faces whenever he would bring them something good.

“’S alright,” he tries again, careful to make his voice come out as gentle as possible. “It’s for you.”

The older boy eyes the younger one, wariness evident in the depth of his gaze. Jacob knows that look. He’s afraid, but he’s desperate - desperate to keep his brother alive, desperate for help he doesn’t want to ask for. He knows the look because he remembers giving the same one to the elderly neighbours, to his teachers, to anyone who ever promised respite from the absence of his parents. 

Jacob pushes the apple closer to them, holding his hand out as far as he can. The older boy inches forward, one hand on his little brother’s shoulder, and Jacob stays absolutely still as he reaches for the apple and plucks it out of his palm. 

The younger brother’s eyes light up at the food in his brother’s hand, oblivious of the fact that it will barely be enough for one of them, let alone them both. 

From the not-so-distant edge of town, Jacob hears the harsh bark of his name being called. The rest of the squad is waiting for him, hot and tired and soaked to the bone. Around him, the wind whistles through the barren and broken ruins.

The oldest boy watches him carefully as he rises to full height. The apple is still clutched in his hands tightly, his fingers digging into the shiny, red skin of it.

Jacob nods at him. With his hands hanging limply at his sides, he’s not sure quite what he wants to say, or whether they even understand him – he just knows that he needs to say it. Eventually, he settles for simplicity.

“Take care of your brother,” he says. He tilts his head in the younger boy’s direction. He’s still staring, wide-eyed, looking at the apple like it’s the best thing he’s ever seen. “He needs you. Always will.”

If they know what he’s saying, neither of them shows it. The children stare at him, watching his every move like he’s a wild animal until another shout breaks the persistent howling of the wind.

“Seed!”

He gives the kids one last look before he turns, breaking into a jog once he sees the irritation on the faces of his squadmates. Miller is the only one that doesn’t look pissed, and as Jacob catches up with them and falls back into step, he feels an elbow dig into his ribs.

“That was good of you,” Miller says, voice low enough that none of the other men will hear them. 

Jacob doesn’t say anything. He’s never been one for small talk, and his brain is already trying desperately to wipe itself clean, to purge the memories of his brothers and send them back to wherever they came from before they can start to hurt again.

Still, despite his efforts, one echo of his past remains: John and Joseph, happy and fed, watching Jacob light off fireworks in a vacant lot not a mile away from their home. Their smiles. A sliver of happiness, shining through the cracks.

He doesn’t know where life will take the boys in the village. Wherever it does, he hopes they have each other. 

#jacob seed #far cry 5 #fc5 fic #far cry 5 fic #my writing

[moonchildsaurora]

The ex-Mercenary with the endearing dimples

»»—— Crew Member #5 of Space Pirates ATEEZ ——««

all aboard The Perihelion, welcome to the co-pilot’s log system! here you’ll be able to access the crew’s profiles should you wish to read about their journeys: (no nsfw content)

[CAPTAIN] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

“if you fall for those dimples, then you’re already half-way in the hunter’s trap”

only a handful of people actually know of his origins, and being a changeling sure comes with a lot of perks for his (previous) field of work

[database file: changelings are nomadic beings, and are able to shift both face and form at will. There are no official records of a changeling’s standard/normal form, and very rarely would anyone get a chance to witness it. Most changelings take on forms of existing beings, depending on the location they’re at and how much they want to blend in, some preferring to add their own artistic flair on appearance]  

San’s hair changes almost as quickly as he changes his dagger blades, his current hair of a rich dark brown colour with a turf of silver that never seem to stop shimmering slightly – much like moon light. Which makes his Selenian [database file: moon/silver elves] form all that more convincing

he started his mercenary life on the planet Tundaoria, where all main networks of black markets and underground work are based at

young blood with no last name, a growing reputation – San is an all-round enigma. But he had a talent for tracking, deadly accuracy and disappearing without a trace, hence nobody questioned him other than for getting a job done

he used to work with a small group, ‘Windstriders’, known for their efficient timeframe and clean work. People pay for the quality, majority of the time San worked with others but sometimes he might pick up a few solo missions on the side

earned the nickname ‘Dimples’ from his ex-team mates however whilst he seems harmless on first glance, “the kid? Aye he’s one big sweetheart he is”, he’s learnt to use that highly skewed perception to his advantage

that’s to say he’s managed to coax beings either to bed for a night of pleasure or their deathbeds, talk about deadly charisma  

“so on average, what are the chances of someone walking out of your room alive?” 

San prides himself with maintaining a level of morality, and won’t kill unless it’s the specific target themselves and/or out of self-defence for any unfortunate souls who decide to intervene with his job. Has nothing against stealing or gambling because, “what’s living without taking a few risks?”

lowkey has a soft spot for younglings and became unexpectedly close to a particular orphanage in a town on the far northern-side of the planet. The head guardian (most orphanages are cared by a guardian or two) found San passed out nearby after a particularly tedious mission and took him in for healing. Since then that place had become an unofficial healer’s spot and safe house  

the younglings absolutely adored having him visit, especially when “look, look! The Moon Prince is here!”, bearing gifts such as trinkets, new toys or aleagette pastries [database: assorted savoury or sweet pastry-type snacks that melt in the mouth when eaten, the surprise is that the flavour isn’t known until the first bite]. San would later on start contributing part of his earnings towards the upkeep of the orphanage as a repayment for the guardians’ hospitality (and it’s really for the younglings but he won’t admit that)

every time a youngling treats him to a toothy smile, a wild giggle or when the bolder ones would run up and wrap their petite arms around his legs his fondness grows exponentially. Once, a guardian caught him helping the younglings doodle whatever their hearts desired on themselves so they could match the many permanent silver ink patterns that decorated his arms and back

“already influencing the little ones with your ways, Sannie?” (another nickname that the younglings picked up on and would parrot it back)

“I’ll have you know what we’re doing here is called art”

the one time San was caught off guard was having a past target’s associate track him down to his safe space and carry out a revenge attack – “you took my family away from me and now I’m going to take yours”          

San never fully recovered (the invisible wounds at least) for causing innocents to get caught up in the crossfire, for realising too late how attached he’s become to these people and their meaningful presence in his life 

as a parting favour, the Windstriders helped San relocate the survivors of the orphanage far away to the much more peaceful city of Aeria (known as ‘City of Healing’ on the planet Cidestea). They said goodbye to a reliable comrade, to his old identity, to his previous lifestyle; mutually promising that contact will only be made again in a dire situation as a last resort – Dimples was off the radar for good

5 years later, after a successful loot haul The Perihelion stopped by Aeria for a re-fuel and mainly because Seonghwa wouldn’t miss an opportunity to stock up on his medicinal herbs (also adopting some new plant children). Hongjoong led his small crew after being directed by a local to “the best tea spot in town” which turned out to be ‘Mosaic Brews’ run by none other than San

now sporting a more turquoise shade of hair and a woodland elven appearance where once silver ink ran along his skin, now a bold black-brown. The younglings who decided to stick by him now have grown too, toughened up by life yet maintained their soft innocence under San’s care for the past years

curiously they stared in awe at Yunho and Mingi, clearly never seeing such giants (to them) before, the older ones enthusiastically brought out the multi-coloured teas for their new guests and the younger ones were spoiled by Seonghwa’s constant cooing. Hongjoong thought San was more than what met his eyes, the seemingly bright shop owner who’s dimples were on full display and heartily conversed with the young captain still had a guarded air around him

it wasn’t until Yunho and Seonghwa gave a few Urousbaines (with captain’s approval of course, one does not just hand out rarities for free) from their loot to the younglings and San’s nonchalant reaction that got Hongjoong’s eyes sparkling

“don’t worry little one, the flower isn’t frozen, here pass me that water bowl.” and the younglings are still convinced till this day that San is some intergalactic prince with magical powers. Because right in front of their eyes the supposedly frozen flower bloomed and the sunlight refracted off its crystal-like petals, casting a spectrum of colours to fill the small shop

“oh how wondrous! How did you know to do that?” (…and San has left the chat)

A LOT of convincing was needed to get San to hear Hongjoong out (by now the crew knew what their captain wants, he gets) and only after tucking the younglings in for the evening in their rooms on the upper level of the shop did the serious talk start

San swore to leave that life behind but he would be kidding himself if he said he didn’t feel a slight tug at his heart for adventure, yet again. It was a tug-of-war between what the head knows vs. what the heart yearns for

“But Sannie how are you going to save the galaxy if you’re stuck here?” came the soft-spoken voice of the youngest and the group nearly had whiplash turning around. The younglings had snuck downstairs and listened in on the convo, knowing it’ll be sad to part with San but even sadder for him to purposely hold back

the younglings won the debate, that they weren’t naïve nor helpless anymore and together they could take care of themselves and the shop – after all they’ve only learnt from the best (San did notify some of the locals whom were trusted regulars of his temporary leave and to keep an eye on the younglings in his stead)

Yunho offered a communication bot to keep in touch so San could check-in whenever he wished, the younglings were fascinated as the Sheirzoi showed them how to work it and a chorus of “oohs” and “ahhs” were heard when they saw the main deck of the ship through the screen. At present, he made sure to check-in at least once every week, all smiles & dimples when he sees the little ones’ faces squeezed into the single screen

San held onto the younglings right up until he boarded The Perihelion, and making sure to wave back until they were right out of sight. He packed simply but made sure to put up some of the drawings the younger ones gifted him up on his room’s walls and the ‘lucky charm’ that got braided into his hair was worn proudly (the older kids had woven a band with colourful beads & crystallised Echetta wings they found in the garden – from the ‘lucky butterfly’)

the crew reminded him of his old team, how they looked out for one another despite not being blood-related but nevertheless a family of sorts. Eventually everyone found out of his changeling abilities after he nearly gave them a heart attack, “SAN! YOU’RE PURPLE…WHY IS YOUR SKIN PURPLE?!”

Hongjoong never dug too deep into San’s past but was very grateful and appreciative of his fighting skills, thus made him in charge of training the others to be able to defend themselves at least. Cue strict combat trainer San to pop out (Yeosang adds a new curse word to his vocab list after every lesson)

they’ve seen his lethal side where he went on a rampage after Seonghwa got shot

Is probably the only one Jongho trusts to trial his new weapons without blowing something or someone up accidentally

argues with the hot-headed Wooyoung frequently that sometimes Seonghwa has to put them in time-out, initially was legit arguments but now it’s more with an affectionate undertone

Hongjoong and Seonghwa nearly gave him ‘the space dad & mum talk’ after, “bloody hell did you get attacked or something?” upon seeing an array of purple-pink marks across San’s neck when he came stumbling back to the ship just near dawn. The faint scent of perfume lingering and tousled hair gave away that much. “At least leave us a message if not we’re sending the precious cargo retrieval brigade next time”

recently adopted a Kiatrafel [database file: small winged feline-like creature that can spit fire], he calls her “my girl” and is in the midst of training it to not mark its territory everywhere (including on people)

“SAN! Your hellcat just pissed on Hongjoong...again and coughed up flames on Yunho’s notes. Captain says if you don’t come within 5 seconds he’s throwing her down the chute”                                          

(moodboard made with love, by @s1ardusk​ ♡)

#ateez scenarios #ateez headcanons #atzinc #pirate ateez #pirate ateez au #ateez au #ateez imagines #choi san #ateez san #ateez blurbs #ateez drabbles #ateez fic #ateez writing #Perihelion Crew #pyx writes #atinyforatiny

[redemptionbaby]

I Won’t Hurt You (pt.2)

Pairing: RDR1!Javier/Reader

Word count: 1375

Summary: A night of drinking followed by a night of dreaming followed by a morning meal for two.

Notes: Sorry if this took a while, but I think it turned out pretty good! I really got into the zone.

He fucked it all up again. So he drank, but even the foggy reflection of his face in the dirty glass of whiskey reminded him of the monster you saw.

Things had been going well. Of course, it was nothing compared to how things used to be between the two of you. A part of him doubted that dream could even be reached, at least within his lifetime. It was lucky for him that you were a creature of adaptability and habit, he saw you resist falling into old patterns with him on the daily. Whether you wanted to admit it or not, you were starting to get comfortable, starting to passively and incrementally disregard his past transgressions. And he ruined it.

All he did was touch you. But to you, it meant more than that, and he knew it. It was a little place, where your hip met your back. A terrible place.

It was the first place he had ever touched you without caring about you. Where he put his grip the first time he fucked you without loving you, without giving a damn if he hurt you or pleasured you, that time and a shameful amount of times after. The first place that he bruised without kissing it better the next day.

One day you had even told him. With tears and a trembling voice, absolute despair at what had become of what was once love, you told him he was hurting you. He could still hear it, and he heard it often. What was louder was his deafening silence in response to your plea.

It was all too clear how well you remembered that place, from how you flinched and turned quickly. He’d left quickly after that. But the fact that he’d left wasn’t what you noticed most. What you’d noticed most was that he forced out an I’m sorry as he did.

The Javier at Beaver Hollow wouldn’t have done that. This Javier had been forced down. He’d lost a great deal of charm, pride, morality, and integrity. But he gained all the regret in the world, and maybe, just maybe, some humility. Even if only for you.

But while drowned in liquor and his own thoughts, he’d never realize this. He was running out of energy to lift his glass to meet dry, chewed up lips. So he made a good decision, for once, and shoved his ass off the barstool and went to greet the cold winds that swept the desert at night. To be awake, if only for a while longer, instead of falling asleep only to wake up again. Another day meant facing you. Such were the perks of working with your ex.

-------------

By some miracle, Javier was able to amble his drunk ass back to the shitty boarding house where the two of you were shacked up while tracking a target. He slept like a rock, and it was your fault. Though it wasn’t in the same bed as it once would have been, you had the kind of peaceful sleeping face that made him feel comforted and warm. Like he was at home. No matter how drunk he got. So he couldn’t help himself when he passed your room. He was selfish in that way, he thought. Once again comforted by the person he deserves nothing but hatred from. 

He had a hazy dream of a memory-- his mother showing him her old, beloved wedding dress. She had teased him, telling her she had been planning to give it to her daughter, but seeing as he was her only child, she said he’d just have to find a pretty girl who would wear it someday instead, or she’d make him put it on. In reality, she had then laughed at his wild refutations of such an idea and started tickling him.

But, ever the oracle and emissary of guilt in his dreams, her expression fell, and she asked the one question that seemed to drive every aspect of his life these days: Remember? He looked to her old, cracked vanity mirror and saw that he wasn’t a child anymore, just before he woke up.

The boarding house was some shithole of a place where you were the only two staying, your only other company being the old lady who owned the place, and she disappeared to do her own business after she served meals. She was kind, and a hell of a cook, but Javier hated that she could read him like an open book with a glass cover, and he suspected that she left the two of you alone so often for that very reason.

The old assassin quickly washed his face in the water basin, avoiding looking in the mirror as much as possible. A habit he picked up recently. Trudging down the short, empty hallway, he attempted to mentally prepare himself to face you, as he always did.

He stopped in the doorway, not being prepared to experience emotional whiplash so early in the morning.

There you sat, at your spot at the table, carefully picking the sugar snap peas from your meal and lifting them in little bunches with your fork and knife, carefully depositing them in a neat pile on the plate across the table. His plate. Many years ago, Javier had once gone on a drunken tirade while forcibly laying on you so that you couldn’t get up about all manner of stupid shit. His sober self would most definitely have thought it too embarrassing and childish to bring up, but Drunk Javier insisted upon you knowing that they were his favorite vegetable, even though vegetables as a whole are “stupid” and “a scam invented to fuck with people”. He then proceeded to make loud noises in an attempt to drown you out while you patiently explained to him the concept of scurvy.

From then on, any time snap peas were a part of any meal, which was rare, you set yours aside for him. You would make a big spectacle of not doing it when you were mad at him, but you’d go right back eventually, and that was always how he knew you’d forgiven him.

You gave him the side eye upon noticing him in the doorway. You’d already started taking apart your own meal with a quiet ferocity you’d always had when served meat you had to cut yourself. Javier proceeded to break himself out of his own thoughts and try really hard to amble casually to the table, thought he wanted to sprint. The usual palpable silence hung over the room. You often didn’t attempt conversation because you didn’t want to be disappointed, while he was trying to tread carefully around your very real and justified anger and trauma. He’d lost many things over the years, but he likes to imagine he’s retained some sense of tactfulness.

Your former lover continued to stare at his own plate like a dumbass, and you misinterpreted his look for confusion. So he was more than surprised when you started to speak, one cheek still puffed with half-chewed food.

“Remember? They’re... your favorite.” You spoke with a quiet hesitancy, like with every syllable you were locked in an internal debate on whether or not to continue. “Or, they were, I guess.” You looked down at your plate, wet regret budding in your eyes, in a way that made Javier Escuella just want to fucking die. He lunged at the chance to make conversation, to draw you away from your own spiraling thoughts.

“They still are. You never forget a damn thing, muñeca,” He remarked fondly. He’s sure sometimes you wish you could, though.

And the way his fork clinks against the plate as he shoving snap peas in his mouth makes you feel so bittersweet you want to cry. He’s overacting like a parent trying to cheer up their crying child. It feels so warm and lovely to have your feelings so delicately considered, but you also feel an aching sense of self-betrayal at the knowledge of who’s making you feel this way.

To tell the truth, Javier hadn’t thought of sugar snap peas in years. Not once. But now he thinks he wants to eat them every damn day for the rest of his life.

#rdr2 #rdr2 x reader #rdr x reader #red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption x reader #red dead redemption 2 x reader #javier escuella x reader #Javier Escuella #writing #drabble

[gottagobuycheese]

Tag Thingy

Thanks @silent--sonata for indulging my terrible sleeping habits XD

(fyi this will probably be unnecessarily long and rambly, so it’s going under a cut (EDIT: whelp the song list got a little out of hand, I’d apologize if I were even remotely sorry)) 

Rules: Answer 17 questions & tag 17 people you want to get to know better  

Nickname: Cheese (or Lactose Wedge, or Dairy Product of Unspecified Origin and Purpose)

Zodiac Sign: Gemini! 

Height: 160.5 cm/5′3″ (Bubbles I refuse to believe you’re actually that much taller than me) 

Hogwarts house: Somewhere between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff allegedly, both of which I’d be honored to get sorted into, but honestly I’d just be stoked to get sorted at all 

Last thing I googled: I think it was something along the lines of “how to speed up audio playback in GarageBand,” but but my train of thought was derailed before I actually looked at any of the results so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (and on a related note, thanks again for the magical audio editing @imperiousheiress!)

Song stuck in my head: The end credits to Legacy of the Wizard (which is SUCH a jam, thank you for enlightening me @jessicafish) Following and followers: 227 (goodness just looking at that number is stress-inducing) and...104?! When the HECK did you all get here??? I think just last summer I was happily floating about in the 50′s. Anyways, to anyone I have not said hello, hello! Hope you enjoy your stay, and I am sincerely sorry if you expected Quality Original Content, or even just regularly scheduled other people’s content. Sadly, neither of these things tend to happen here. 

Amount I sleep: During the school year it’s usually anywhere between 30 minutes and 6 hours (DON’T EVEN START BUBBLES YOU HAVE NO RIGHT), usually landing in the 3/4 hour ranges if I’m smart about it, but now that I am on Unofficial Break, it’s usually at least around 6 hours (except today was 3 because Avatar is an excellent show and the weirdos in this house have regularly scheduled breakfast at 9-something every morning). Sadly my sleep schedule can only be forced to tolerate normalcy for so long before careening back in the other direction, so we’ll see if this is just a blip or if we’re back to normal mid-Atlantic Ocean hours!

Lucky number(s): I wouldn’t say these are necessarily favorite numbers, but I do like 2 and 9. But come to think of it, second attempts at Official Things do tend to go better for me than first attempts, so maybe there’s some merit there after all! Dream Job: Don’t think I’m really cut out for dreaming anymore, haha (unless you are a theoretical future employer in which case I am Extremely Full of Ambition and Passion). The bed-adjacent metaphor has been made, and not to brag, but I can sleep on pretty much any surface. Currently studying my Not Favorite aspect of STEM (was there ever a favorite or did I just like being good at things sometimes) and learning how to People™ properly (and also learning a gazillion convoluted drug names like what the heck dude, did you just fall asleep on your typewriter coming up with these), so I’ll take whatever place hires me and pays me enough not to depend on my parents for everything, I suppose. In an ideal world, that would entail a job where I could make friends, and even more importantly, a job where my shortcomings would not cause Massive and Irreparable Harm, but I don’t think this line of work really meshes with that last one, so I guess I’ll either have to get my shit together™ extremely soon or fake my death, adopt an alias, and flee to a completely new place with no ties whatsoever before trying to get another, less high stakes job. 

(Though I guess, less cynically, I like helping people well enough? And stories are fun! Maybe there could’ve been something with that. Not that there still can’t be, mind, but there’s still a long way to go between Here and There)

Wearing: Black shorts. Navy t-shirt. Brown some-specific-kind-of-jacket-I-forgot-the-name-of jacket. Is it summer? Is it fall? Am I in middle school? Who can say, but they are COMFY so sadly I have no cares to give

Favourite song(s): way way WAY too many to list here, and I do not have them all organized in a handy playlist separately, but to name a few (and these are not necessarily the MOST favorite okay, it doesn’t mean I don’t love stuff not on this list, it means you can’t force me to pick between my children and I am going to find at least one quick thing from a few things I like before I need to hit post and go back to looking like I’m being studious, and also things I think you should listen to right now, but for everything I’ve linked assuming I mean the whole OST), here’s a spam of links in no particular order: 

LoZ Wind Waker - The Great Sea (aka the epitome of optimism) 

Undertale - NGAHHH!! (I was about to link more but then I realized it’d be the whole soundtrack lol) 

LoZ Breath of the Wild - Hateno Village (Night) 

A:tLA - Peace (bad call BAD CALL NOW I HAVE EMOTIONS) 

Legend of Korra - Final Scene/Ending Theme (MISTAKES WERE MADE MISTAKES WERE MADE) 

Kung Fu Panda - Oogway Ascends (I feel like I’m taking you on a whole little album journey now XD) 

PMD: Explorers of Sky - Dialga’s Fight to the Finish (aka the Gotta Shower Fast song) 

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Pursuit ~ Cornered (aka the HURRY UP AND PACK UR SHIT YOUR FLIGHT LEAVES IN THREE HOURS song) 

Apollo Justice: A New Trial Is In Session (very underrated soundtrack imo) and also Apollo Justice: Telling the Truth (because these two are very closely associated in my head and it’s getting harder and harder to narrow things down so maybe I should stop lol) 

Your Name: Katawaredoki (in which I am forcibly thrown heart first into the bedroom of my second apartment at approximately 12-something A.M.) 

Digimon Adventure 01: Butterfly (MASSIVE 90′s childhood anime feels, and also Last Summer Before Everything Went to Shit feels (on a general scale I mean, not personal)) 

Pokémon: Lugia’s Song multitrack cover by Jordan Moore (would that I could have a talent of that musical talent) 

Pokémon the First Movie: Tears of Life (great now I’m on a Pokémon music spiral GUESS IT’S CHILDHOOD NOSTALGIA HOURS NOW) 

PMD: Blue Rescue Team - Farewell and Run Away/Fugitives (you CANNOT make me choose between these guys okay, my brain WILL explode, and whoops now I want to link the whole ost) 

Palette by A Dear Friend (wink wonk) 

Pokémon: Alpha Sapphire - Fortree City (wow talk about mood whiplash)

Detective Conan: Main Theme (I can’t find the specific version since there are so many, but it’s a Good Theme) 

Super Smash Bros.: Brawl - Opening Theme 

Pokémon Colosseum - Relic Forest 

Song for Lindsay by Andrew Boysen Jr. (oh great now it’s time for marching band feelings I guess)

Mt. Everest by Rossano Galante 

Deltarune - Field of Hopes and Dreams and A Town Called Hometown (orchestrated) (aka the Lots of Work To Do song) and You Can Always Come Home and Don’t Forget (hey guess what I wrote a bunch of fake extra verses for) (also it looks my pathetic attempts at narrowing things down are getting even more pathetic so I’ll wrap up soon XD) 

 Guild Wars 2 - Fear Not This Night (never actually played this myself but my friend got me addicted to the music) 

Lord of the Rings - May It Be (Enya) (aaaand now I miss choir, THANKS BUBBLES) 

Lion King - Can You Feel the Love Tonight (Multilingual) by Travys Kim (aka how I remembered how fun these things are) 

Original Song by Anonymous  

(The urge to add all the other songs I’m not adding is so strong but I’ve got so much work to do so just assume I mean all Nintendo music from any game I’ve played, all Ghibli movie music, every musical I’ve ever heard, and even more) 

Random fact:

Apparently as early as the 17th century, you could guess that a child would have a shortened life span if their foreheads tasted salty. Yes, there is a specific reason, and yes, you may already know what it is, and thankfully no, that life span projection no longer holds true, assuming access to Modern Medicine! 

Favourite Authors: Okay I have not read enough various books of enough various authors to be able to answer this, so I’m just gonna go with a few books instead. They are not necessarily all-time favorites, but I enjoyed reading them very much at the time and more often than not go back to them for comfort reads: The Martian, any of first three Harry Potter books, and The Rise of Kiyoshi. (That last one’s not really a comfort read but I am drowning in Loving Kiyoshi juice so here we are)

Favourite Animal Noises: Certain kinds of birds (UNLESS it’s some ungodly hour of the morning and you’re trying to sleep)? Ooh, and crickets! 

Aesthetic: A slob, but like...a comfy slob. An incredibly disorganized hermit who is happy to mill about in the uncontrolled entropy. (Are we talking about what aesthetic I give off, or what I like to look at, visually? Because I like space, and water, and mountains, and forests, and forests ON mountains, OOH and forests on mountains at night where you can see space, perhaps reflected in a body of water. Or just water, idk. Different things are pretty to look at at different times)

WELL THAT ONLY TOOK FOREVER SORRY FOR THE OBSCENE LENGTH 

@pachelbelsheadcanon @averybritishbumblebee @shingeki-no-korra @sailorlock @yeswevegotavideo @soultheta @queenerdloser @ifeelbetterer @rogueofdragons @peppervl @amadness2method @mutalune and anybody else who wants to do this! This isn’t seventeen, and I don’t know if any of you have already done it/been tagged, but I hear people moving around upstairs so that means this break is over XD. And ABSOLUTELY no pressure to actually do this, this is pretty much just me wishing you well! (and YOU of course, my dear reader! I hope everything’s going all right, or if it’s not, that it does soon)

#THIS POST IS TAKING FOREVER BECAUSE NOW I'M LISTENING TO A BUNCH OF MUSIC #AND IT'S GETTING ME SO EMOTIONAL #THE AVATAR SOUNDTRACK IS SO M U C H #I FORGOT HOW MUCH IT WAS #IT'S BEEN SO LONG #AHHHHHHHHHH #IT'S FREAKING BEAUTIFUL #I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO JOIN ME HERE #gosh I forgot how instantly happy music can make me #why don't I do this more often #also I guess my two music modes are somber sweeping/peaceful ballads and epic boss battle music #with minor variation #anyways this is largely what I would contribute to the theoretical west coast road trip sorry not sorry #Cheese's personal molasses #tag game #tag thingy #tumblr stuff #93 minutes later I have finally picked ‘a few’ songs #I sure hope this posts because I am Not relinked all of these #uh oh that's footsteps on the stairs #GOTTA DASH

[pinwheelings]

roswell finale lmao

WHAT!! this show is seriously wild from start to finish. like half the time it feels like these people aren’t even on the SAME SHOW i swear to god. nothing connects! nothing makes sense!! NOTHING MATTERS. 

like liz... chats with maria, which is cute, and then gets stabbed and has a stand off with noah, finds out about rosa’s dad (which she has zero reaction too because NOTHING THAT HAPPENS ON THIS SHOW MATTERS!!!!!) then bangs max and then maybe kinda finds closure which all just erased because rosa’s alive!!!! but oops max is dead because: a life for a life!!!!

ISOBEL IS/WAS ROBBED OF HER CHANCE TO FACE NOAH because she’s little more than a pawn in max’s road to alien jesus lmao. noah takes control of isobel AGAIN and then leaves her rosa in an egg, thanks noah/ noah is dead at almost EXACTLY the 30-minute mark -- i was keeping time on my phone -- and it all feels like “what for?” ALSO MAX IS JESUS??? he’s a little dead but i guess alien easter is happening in season two. so both michael and isobel get no peace -- or maybe michael gets peace for like .25 seconds until he realizes his brother is DEAD. i cannot even imagine isobel’s reaction to this. max also like... harnesses the power of lightning with turns him into an ABSOLUTE MANIC RAMBLING NUT so you have to wonder what kind of headspace he was in when he made the decision to bring rosa back lmao. 

speaking of michael, he screams/cries about being max’s family gets STABBED IN THE NECK and then max leaves him there in a pool of his own blood for... what reason??? “we should go before he wakes up” but then... nothing comes of that. at all. why do they need to leave? because max is mad that michael used violence against him (AGAIN!!!!!! is this show ever gonna address this bit of michael’s character) or bc michael’s gonna be upset that he ruined everything and let noah get away (thanks, michael). then michael kinda has a conversation with alex while he’s changing out of his bloody clothes and immediately runs off, gets his hand healed while max rambles about the second coming or living in the present or whatever, has the OTHER HALF of his conversation with alex, but instead of having it with alex he has it with isobel so alex is waiting alone in the junkyard, totally unaware of everything except that kyle just stabbed his dad and put him in a coma. WHICH HONESTLY DID NOT NEED TO HAPPEN IN THIS EPISODE? 

honestly i can’t really touch the alex stuff right now because i love alex so, so much and cannot talk about him rationally but I AM SO PROUD OF ALEX MANES!!!!! (i actually think where michael and alex left off makes A LOT of sense given what michael is going through and isn’t so bad... considering noah was a like a weird serial mind rapist/murderer and max went out on his giant ass cross). i’m sorry that michael now diving into normal but i think that’s what he needs until, you know, he finds out that MAX IS DEAD. cool. 

kyle has a meltdown bc his dad was murdered and he LOST A SISTER TOO?? this is the second time this has been brought up and i HATE IT!!! rosa didn’t even LIKE kyle and we have no evidence to show he liked her either!!! i am so annoyed with this storyline!! i’m sorry, but sharing a sperm donor does not mean that kyle lost a sister lmao. 

MEANWHILE MARIA GETS SERENADED AND STILL DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT ALIENS! maria continues to be a totally passive character, which makes it hard to pin character traits on her. like i don’t love that maria is suddenly cool with being with michael, but maybe it’s a similar thing to michael and alex where maria and alex are holding onto a friendship that doesn’t really exist anymore and maria wants something good and easy in her life? like they have that WHOLE conversation -- maybe a full minute? -- about maria’s hideous flower necklace (i knew it was special -- something that ugly could only be supernatural)  and then... nothing happens to it. why bring it up in an episode so jam-packed? why not just start season two with that? the episode is FULL of stuff like that. 

i keep thinking about the episode and how SO MANY THINGS could’ve been pushed to season two to make this first season tighter. so many things happen but it feels like there are no stakes or consequences for ANYTHING. the entire show feels like michael and alex’s conversation in the air stream like “LOTS OF DECLARATIONS but i gotta go now let’s deal with this later oh whelp i’m alone now with my pain”

on the one hand, i guess having everyone ultimately end up pretty alone is a good way to push their characters for season two, but half the time i’m just like “do these people even like or know each other” they’re just ALL totally siloed because the writing is such a fucking mess! i love, love the characters but i feel like i get whiplash every episode! i can only hope that a second, extended season will help tame of these issues with pacing and writing but honestly i half think they’ll just be like “GREAT LET’S STUFF MORE SHIT INTO THIS” lmao

on a personal note: i feel bummed about the max death/rosa life thing because it puts me in a weird place fanfic wise. like how i gotta resurrect max AND tell my story??????????????? the ask is too high!

#roswell new mexico #THIS SHOW IS A MESS!!!!! #the writing is A MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[as-many-times-as-it-takes]

What was the moment that turned you into a Sheith fan?

Honestly, I was committed from the very first episode. The very first time we see Keith find Shiro, his reaction just hit me like a ton of bricks and I fell in love with them instantly.

I remember talking excitedly about this in an article I wrote about a year ago when I talked about how I felt that Keith and Shiro represented the qualities of Faith and Commitment very well. (If you’d like to read the full article, feel free to check it out here)

So let me preface this one with something really quick. First of all, the animation studio, design team, etc, are many of the same people that worked on Avatar the Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra. So not only are they known for some beautiful animation, they’re known for a lot of emotion and purpose that they put into their work as well. For one, when you have limited time and must hand draw nearly every part, everything that you put into a shot should have purpose. And with this team, they had proven time and time again to be absolute masters at placing some of the most subtly powerful shots I’d ever seen. It was such a novel concept, to me at the time, to see what was essentially a cartoon turn into this beautiful and emotional epic, coupled with relatable characters, realistic life issues and powerful relationship development and character growth.

So when I saw Keith running in to save Shiro, before I really knew that much about the story or characters, I knew immediately just how important Shiro was to Keith.

The first moments we see of Keith, are him racing against time. While the rest of the future Paladins are watching, Keith is already in motion. Breaking into the tent, he startles the recovering team, his intentions like his movements; a blur. Putting them out of the picture, he leaps over the unconscious bodies and equipment. It is beyond clear that this is no calm rescue.

And the second that Keith arrives at Shiro’s side, his demeanor instantly changes. It’s almost like visual whiplash. When we first see Keith, his eyes are cold and furious, but they soften with emotion as he recognizes Shiro on the table. The same hands that struck down the scientists in his way now gently reach out to turn his friend’s face to better see him. He softly speaks his name, as though he dare not utter it too loud. And then, without a second thought, he cuts Shiro free and lifts him up. Running out of time, Keith prepares to haul off an unconscious adult male as dead weight in his arms, risking imprisonment or even worse by the Garrison in his last desperate effort.

And the moment Lance rushes in, Keith’s head snaps up and his eyes harden. He’s immediately defensive. If they hadn’t been there to help, he may have fought them as well, and his dispassionate words during their escape sum up his frustration and protectiveness for Shiro before he finally has the peace of mind that Shiro is safely in his care and takes the time to get to know them. (Though even that is largely only because Shiro is doing so as well)

And then we have this quiet scene. Just the two of them. Once again Keith’s demeanor is gentle and affectionate. The way he looks and talks to Shiro speak volumes. Even before we learn how long Keith waited for Shiro, and how long he searched for answers. Even before we see how Keith time and time again throws himself into the fray without a moment’s hesitation to be at Shiro’s side, we saw this.

I didn’t know how far it’d go and I’m not sure where it will go from here. But it’s been a wild ride since day one and every single step has been worth it. I’ve shed so many tears for these two and have shared my excitement and joy with so many like-minded people thanks to them. Their unwavering and mutual affection, dedication, admiration, and respect for each other is both heartwarming and inspiring and I look forwards to sharing their journey all the way to the end.

#sheith #shiro #keith #voltron asks #sheith asks #srsly bless these two #i love them so much #koishiiorg

[mysweetkittae]

BTS LOVE YOURSELF TOUR: LONDON DAY 2 (10/10/18)

I recorded most of the concert so to see the videos please check my pinned thread on twitter (@bunkook20)

Let me just say right from the start that the UK LOVED Jin, and when I say that they loved him I mean that every SINGLE time he appeared on screen, whether in the MVs, the videos in between or just Jin himself, everyone LOST IT and screamed their lungs out to the high heavens. It was amazing.

I was in lower tier seating so I can’t say for sure since I wasn’t in standing myself, but every time I looked over everyone was being really respectful and no one was pushing (at least on my side) which made me really happy!

Also! All of the security and staff at the arena that I came across were really lovely too!

Maybe around 5 minutes before the concert was supposed to start an annoucement came from the translator that Jungkook wouldn’t be performing again because of his injury. He was apologising loads on their behalf but we were all like IT’S OKAY DON’T WORRY WE LOVE YOU!

A quick note on Jungkook: you could tell he wasn’t feeling well throughout the concert. He was very playful of course and was smiling and singing beautifully as always, but at times you could tell from his face that he was frustrated/upset at the situation which broke my heart because it’s not his fault :( He was also limping a bit when he walked, which shocked me because at that point we didn’t know that he had stitches on his heel and it made me really sad because I love him so much and the last thing I want is for him to be hurt and feel guilty about it :(( But, there was pretty much always a member with him and playing with him so thankfully baby bun was never too lonely! He definitely smiled the most and looked happiest when they were around him T-T

They went back to playing MVs after that, and played DNA, Mic Drop, and Fake Love. I think the concert started abut 10 mins late? 

THEN, my friends, the concert began with the beginning video and it was so pretty and magical.

Idol started playing next and I swear, as soon as the doors opened and they walked out I felt my body ascend to another plane and enter a state of pure bliss. For all these years I had only seen them through a screen, but now I was breathing the same air as them and looking at them with my own two eyes? Unfathomable. Also I could feel the heat of the fire from where I was sitting so I can’t even imagine how hot it must have been for them :/

Next was their opening ment and it was so surreal to hear them speaking and akdjakjfafa idk it was weird to expereince that but they sound so beautiful ;-; I kept saying hi back to them like the idiot I am lmao I couldn’t help it they were so adorable T-T Namjoon mentioned Jungkook’s injury and made sure to remind people to be mindful of their neighbours because he is the king of safety and we Respect that in this household.

They performed a bit of Save Me and all of I’m Fine but because I’m an absolute buffoon I forgot to press record so I’m really annoyed because I really love that song :( BUT at least I watched with my eyes and so I have the memory of it :’) It was an amazing performance and I loved it so much :(

They had their second ment here and then performed Magic Shop (one of my faves) which is just pure evil because how can they hit us with the feels so early on and expect us to be okay?? I was not fine. But it was so beautiful with all the purple lights and everyone singing together and it made me feel all warm and so happy :( You could really feel the love in the air

Just Dance was here but because I continued to be stupid I frickin forgot to press record again!!!! I’m super angry at myself. Hoseok though, his charisma and the way he entrances the crowd is insane! And his dancing!! omfg he is honest to god one of the best dancers I have seen in my entire life. He’s so mesmerising and you couldn’t take your eyes off him for even a second.

After this was Euphoria, which is one of my favourite songs ever because it makes me so happy and like everything is going to be okay. Jungkook has the most beautiful, soothing voice and I just can’t describe how hearing him made me feel. It made me feel like I was safe. He kept looking at the crowd with so much adoration and the most beautiful of smiles and he was listening to us singing along and it made me so happy because he looked so happy :(

I Need U was straight after and this made me !!! because this was the song that changed my life and made me an army so hearing it live made me totes emosh :(

Run was pretty hype and Joonie got us all jumping so it was really fun!

Serendipity!! Jimin has so much stage presence it’s crazy, it was truly a magical performance and it felt like we were all in a trance. He also kept putting his hand up his shirt to make it do the flappy doodle thing which was the epitome of rudeness :)) He is a beautiful dancer and you’d be a fool to deny it.

Love started and it was so much fun! He really knows how to work a crowd, everyone was singing and it was like we were all performing together aajfakfak I loved it. I also really liked Joonie’s jacket. idk if it’s clear in the video but at the end when the members were joining him on stage Jungkook was walking really slowly and that’s when I first saw that he was limping :(

DNA was amazing but all I could focus on was how sparkly Jimin was. I loved it. I love sparkly things. I’m like a magpie... or a niffler. ANyway, baby bun did as much of the choreo as he could in his chair and the members kept looking at him when they were singing at it was so cute huhu they love him so much he’s their precious baby.

They had another quick ment here before the medley of Dope, Go Go, Blood Sweat Tears, Boy In Luv and Fire. Jin and Jimin were playing with Jungkook so much it was the cutest thing and Jungkook had the biggest smile TT-TT

Airplane Pt2 was super fun but also kinda sensual and idk how to explain the feeling but it’s like there was something radiating from my chest throughout my body and I Felt It(TM) in my soul okay? 

FAKE LOVE!!! tbh I had forgotten that they might perform this lmao so it was a super pleasant surprise! I really love this song and the energy from them and the crowd was amazing. The video didn’t pick it up very well smh but the fanchants were so good! Especially for the WHY YOU SAD? IDK NAN MOLLA lmao it was like we were a cult summoning the devil it was Great. Also! At the end when jinkook are supposed to do their arm thing together Jungkook did it from his chair with Jin in the actual formation so they did it together but from a distance :(

Seesaw omfg I love this song so much and I was looking forward to it so much and it did not disappoint. It’s such a good song and such a good performance and he has such a pretty voice and I really really liked it ;-; Everyone went wild for when he slid down the bench it was so cool omg. The fanchants during the bit at the end could’ve been better but it definitely wasn’t bad and people were screaming loads! I would’ve done the fanchants better myself but my voice was hoarse from my cold before the concert even started and progressively got worse as it went on since I was screaming so much that by this point I was struggling to breathe and trying my best not to choke to death in the midde of the performance and have it be caught on camera because y’know, Priorities. 

SING.U.LA.RI.TY. Oh my goodness gracious me this performance was something else. The dance he does at the beginning with his hand was so sensual and mesmerising and I honestly couldn’t look away. It was so realistic as well, I obviously knew that there was no one there but it looked so real that if you told me that it was someone else’s hand I would’ve totally believed you. Also his hands are ridiculously beautiful. The first thing I noticed was how perfect Tae’s live was. Obviously they’re all amazing live and have been in all of the performances, as has Tae himself, but in this song it’s unlike anything I’ve heard before. It literally literally genuinely truly sounded EXACTLY like the studio version to an almost scary point. This man is an incredibe singer and if you can’t see or hear that god help your soul.  

Oh god Epiphany. This was the performance I think everyone was looking forward to, and you can clearly hear it with how loud everyone was screaming. Jin looked absolutely ethereal with his parted hair and beautiful face and beautiful voice and beautiful jacket. His voice has so much emotion that just pierces through your heart. This man has a true gift that is impossible to deny. Every was singing “I’m the one I should love” together and whether that was something we believed in or not, in that moment we all truly loved ourselves, and there’s nothing more beautiful than that. Listening to Jin sing Epiphany surrounded by the most beautiful lights... I felt at peace. I felt safe.

If Epiphany wasn’t emotional enough they went straight into The Truth Untold and I do not lie when I say that the emotions were tangible. Every single one of them looked angelic in their gorgeous outfits and their voices were like honey and I felt so light but my heart felt heavy at the same time? It was a very bizarre feeling. Everyone was singing along and it really was so beautiful. Jungkook’s adlibs at the end and Jimin’s change of the high note were incredible and if I didn’t have such a stone cold heart then I’m sure I would’ve cried like I thought I would. 

Listen. I had seen so many fancams so I KNEW that Outro Tear came immediately after The Truth Untold, but nothing could’ve prepared me for how insane that performance was. Not only for the whiplash it gave me since the previous 2 performances were so emotional, but the 3 of them are such phenomenal rappers and have so much control and power over the stage and audience that it’s almost terrifying. You couldn’t keep your eyes off them even if you tried. They each have their unique styles but the way they come together so perfectly and beautifully is unbelievable. I have no idea how they manage to show such individualty yet perfect synchronicity at the same time, but they do and it truly is a sight to see. They are a force to be reckoned with and I know for a fact that down the line they are going to have such important roles in shaping the music industry. Don’t ever doubt their abilities, not even for a second.

Next was Mic Drop, which Namjoon announced was the last song and I was like??? How??? It honestly only felt like it had been about half an hour but it had been 2 hours. Jungkook didn’t come out for this performance, not even sitting on a chair, so the whole time in the back of my mind I was really worried about him. This is only speculation of course so don’t take it as the truth or anything, but he really must not have been feeling well for him not to even be able to sit on a chair. Either he was in loads of pain or he fainted or something?? idk, I just hope it wasn’t too bad :( They just played the backing track for his parts with the members sometimes singing over it too. The performance itself was amazing though! They had so much energy and the dance break was the bomb dot com.

After this the main part of the concert had officially ended and the girls next to me were asking each other if it was over so I was like no no don’t worry there’s an encore they’re coming back! Don’t leave yet!

After some time it was ARMY TIME so everyone held up their banners and it was so nice! So What had started, which I was surprised about because I thought that they’d want us to hold the banners up during a slower, more emotional song but nope. So What was the hypest song out of the entire concert and everyone was jumping so much and it was just so so so much fun?? 

Jungkook was back for this performance but it was very obvious that he wasn’t doing well. He was singing fine and trying to be playful but you could see in his eyes and his face that he wasn’t okay, which is why I feel like he might have felt faint before or something, though I’m still just speculating so don’t hold it again me. Jin stayed by his side for basically the whole time and walked slowly with him down the ramp to the extended stage and!! You guys, when Jungkook did the shoot dance, although it was very slow he looked so so happy, it made my heart melt :( I’m glad he was able to do it because honestly that was one of the times he smiled the biggest :( Jin did it together with him and it was so sweet and I’m just so glad they all have each other to look out for them. Taejin had their Moment again it was fantastic. There was lots of cuteness throughout the whole thing and they looked like they were having so much fun! It made me very happy.

Anpanman was super fun and very enjoyable! It really is such a cute song uwu it made me smile a lot :’) Jungkook was looking at the audience a lot for this one and doing as much of the dance as possible in his chair what a cutie pie and Joonie and Jimin played with him too and he kept laughing uwu uwu this song was too much for me.

Then it was time for their ending ment. They started off with such a sweet event for us :( They made the army bombs turn rainbow coloured and took a picture with the arena in the background and it was so lovely :( Also lmao Hobi said it was photo time with an American accent, but Joon corrected him saying that is was “phoTo” with the enunciated ‘T’ sound like you say with an English accent if that makes sense?? It was really funny and after that Hobi kept saying photo with the harsh T and it was adorable. Joon then went on to say that Yoongles was going to do his ment first but he kept saying “sweetie sweetie sweetie suga” in an English accent again and alfjfkjfna I love him ma

Yoongs had his bling bling SUGA rings on and they were so sparkly! He was so smiley and just super cute. He repeatedly talked about how they were going to see us again soon so I’m certain that they’re coming back next year with either an epilogue tour or something so Wembley you better be prepared because next time we’re coming for you.

Hobster spoke in English and it was so good and it never fails to amaze me how hard he tries for all of his comments in all of the concerts. He was totes making fun of us though, when we said aww because he was sad it was the last concert day he said aww back and I felt the mockery but he’s so flippin adorable I don’t understand how can one human being possibly have so much power to make so many people happy it doesn’t make sense I don’t understand.

Tae. Eyebrows. Rude. He was being super cute talking about how he had seen London in movies (none that I knew of because he is evidently much more cultured than I am) and that he thought it was such a beautiful place and that armys were beautiful too (what a flirt). He then went on to saying some word but honest to god I hadn’t the faintest clue what he was saying and neither did my friend or anyone else around me and in the video you can hear a very faint “what?” because I was just so confused lmao. Apparently he said bloodclat? but I’m not from London so I have no idea what that means and I’m still no wiser. Twas a very confuzzling time.

Jin. Jinnie. Kim Seokjin. My man. My bro. Dude. Please stop looking so handsome, it hurts me. He was talking about how he looked like Kingsman and that next time he’ll dress up like Harry Potter. I’m holding that promise to you Jin, don’t let me down. At that point Namjoon said “shut up Malfoy” like he did in that one vlive last year(?) and it was so funny I couldn’t stop laughing why must they be so adorable?? 

Jimin was next and he kept saying that everything was lovely again and again and it was so sweet and oh my god he is literally the cutest thing ever I love him so much he is such a precious person please protect him 5eva. He also said that he wanted to come back so Jimbles! I’m holding that promise to you too don’t let me down.

Baby bun was next and he was apologising for not being able to show us more but we all just screamed NOOOOOOO really loudly because we love our precious baby in this household and he must never apologise for something that was out of his control :( Even though he was injured he still gave it his all and did his best and his health and happiness is more important than anything else!! We don’t need to see him perform, we just need him to be healthy.

Nimnams was next and my god he was so radiant. At first he tried doing an English accent but he quickly gave up on it lmao what a cutie pie I love him. He said that he fell in love with London and that it really inspired him and that he might write a song called London and we all just went !!! Because with Jungkook being injured in London it would’ve been understandable for them to associate the UK with negative feelings because that’s just how human brains work, but the fact that they seemed to have loved it so much and were inspired by it and want to write a song about it? It just made me feel so proud. I hope that when they come back they get the chance to travel around a bit because there is so much to see and it has such a different vibe to London and I’m sure they’d love it! He said how he was proud of himself for chosing this path in life and becoming a part of BTS and therefore being able to come to London :( This boy completely owns my heart and I would do anything for him :(

After this was the last song, Love Yourself Answer, but I didn’t have much space left on my phone so I couldn’t record it :( It was so lovely though and as one of my favourite songs it made my heart all wibbly wobbly :( Tae was on my side a lot and was beng super duper cute and it was the best. Jungkook’s seat was still in the middle so the members were playing with him lots and being all round cutie pies. Everyone was singing “you’ve shown me I have reasons I should love myself” and it was so beautiful to hear people saying that to themselves and actually believing it in that moment. This was another song that made my heart happy and made me feel very peaceful and like everything was okay in the world.

Then it was the ending and they were walking around the extended stage and waving to us all. Jimin kept saying that we were lovely and Tae said I purple you and urgh it was just so incredible and magical. They thanked their dancers and bowed with them and we all screamed for them too! There was loads of confetti and it was so so so beautiful. 

It ended then, and I remember suddenly feeling so empty. The past 2 and a half hours had without a doubt been the best of my life and the fact that I has seen bts live with my own eyes and been in the same place as them was still hard to comprehend.

One thing I can say for sure though is that they truly love performing on stage. They must have been so exhausted with how crazy their schedules have been, but they were constantly smiling and had high energy and put on the best performance that they could. Never once did I feel like they were being forced to do something they didn’t want to do, not like I sometimes feel with some other singers. No words can fully express how genuinely happy they looked to be on stage, and that in itself makes me so happy. Knowing that they are doing something that they love so much and are so passionate about is incredible and I hope that they are able to do the things they want to do for a long time. Anyone watching them can feel the amount of love they have for the stage, each other, and us.

And that’s the thing - people can try and dissect them and figure out what the ‘bts formula’ is as much as they want, but they will never find the answer; because you cannot formulate love, and you cannot formulate authenticity. Every moment since the creation of the universe led them to where they are today. It led them to each other, the most beautiful of soulmates, and it led us to them, our guardian angels who came into our lives when we needed them the most. Everything that has happened in our lives, both the good and the bad, led us to the moment where we discovered bangtan, and something in us told us that this was where we belonged. We all come from so many different walks of life, so many different journeys and destinations, yet here we all are, coming together because of these 7 beautiful boys with even more beautiful hearts, and intertwining our lives with one another. Despite all odds, we survived, and we’re living this life together; and that is nothing short of a miracle.

#i have so many feels #this literally took me hours to do please appreciate it #and the twitter thread took a couple of days because twitter is terrible at processing videos #bts #love yourself tour #bts in london #my stuff

[blankasolun]

source: Metal Hammer 7th May 2020

How Dave Mustaine Took on Cancer and Won

By James Blaine (Metal Hammer) 21 hours ago

Megadeth mainman Dave Mustaine opens up exclusively about staring down cancer and what the future holds

The whole world is coming apart at the seams.

At least that’s the way it seems in Nashville, Tennessee this week. A T6 tornado tore the hell out of town just as the coronavirus hit the Volunteer State. Even President Trump is in Music City today, surveying the damage from Marine Helicopter One, hovering above us as we step into a dark, downtown studio to meet with local resident, Dave Mustaine.

The Apocalypse’s first and second horsemen take a back seat, at least for the moment. Right now, we’re more concerned about Dave’s dog. Oblivious to its diminutive size, the long-haired Chihuahua descends upon us like some high-pitched Hound of Hell, menacingly baring his teeth and threatening to devour our very soul if we step any closer to his master. 

“Easy, Romeo. Easy,” Dave says, reaching to save us from the snarling beast. We coil back, cautiously offering the back of our hand. Dave laughs gruffly. “Oh, no,” he says. “That doesn’t work with him.”

As the Megadeth frontman corrals his pup, it gives us a chance to check out the legend after his recent health crisis. Mass of fiery mane – intact. Black jacket, jeans, black t-shirt, white sneakers. Honestly? Well, he looks like Dave Mustaine, like the hellraiser still not sold on cheap or easy peace. He moves a bit slow, but not creakily – more like a man who’s fought the Devil bare-fisted and lived to tell the tale. 

With the hound at bay, he turns to greet us. It’s difficult to know what’s appropriate in this season of paranoia and mutant pandemic, especially for a man who’s just had his immune system nuked. Do we fist bump? Nod and touch elbows? “Nah, I ain’t worried, man,” Dave assures us, shaking hands with a vice grip. “I’m healthy now.” 

The backstory: March 2019. After being bounced from doctor to doctor, Dave gets an official diagnosis that sounds like some dystopian speed metal verse. Squamous cell carcinoma on the base of your tongue. 

  Hold up. Cancer? Mustaine? No way. 

    If anyone seemed indestructible, it was Dave Mustaine. Bad ass, bad attitude, snarling, spitting, raging, red-headed, black belt-carrying soldier in God’s Army, Godfather Of Thrash. That cancer could sink its claws into someone like Dave sent shockwaves through the metal community. Now, one year after the diagnosis, Metal Hammer comes to Music City to hear his testimony first-hand. Because Dave Mustaine kicked cancer’s ass. 

  “Yeah, I’m pretty stoked about that,” he says, grinning as he grabs a bottle of water and motions for us to have a seat in a private, black- walled dressing room. The obvious first question: So, how do you feel? “I’m a little run down, but a lot of that’s from the medication and all the stuff that goes along with treatment. They hit the cancer really hard, nine doses of chemo and 51 radiation treatments, which just beats the hell out of you. My mouth is still messed up but overall, I feel really good.”

  Dave settles in on the couch to tell us how he got the news that he was cancer-free. “I was here in Nashville, at my doctor’s office. He had to reach down the back of my throat, which was really unpleasant, but it was important for him to feel and make sure. And he said my progress was amazing, that both sides felt the same. I’ve got a metal plate in my neck that I figured might cause problems, but the doc told me, “Dave, you are in perfect health, 100%. You’re free to go.” 

  Dave pauses to slide a piece of Big Red gum into his mouth, twisting the foil between his fingers, reflecting before he continues. “It sounds bizarre, but I kind of knew. I took good care of myself. I’d done everything my doctors told me to do. I had tons of support from family and friends. And I had lots of prayer. I don’t want to sound arrogant, but I expected it. I had faith that I was going to be healed.”  

At this point, Dave rewinds to early 2019, explaining how he received the grim verdict. While out shredding with Joe Satriani and Zakk Wylde on the Experience Hendrix tour, severe mouth pain struck. “I’d gone in to get some dental work,” he says. “And after, it felt like the dentist had broken a piece of scraper off in my gums. I went back and he sent me to an oral surgeon who checked me out and said, ‘You need to see an ear, nose and throat doctor. I don’t want to say anything bad, but it looks like the Big C.’ Well, fuck, dude! Why’d you say that, then?” 

Dave shakes his head, still pissed, taking a long pull of water. “Anyway, I figured I’d take care of myself once the Hendrix tour was over. While out on the road, a friend of mine knew an ENT at the local emergency room. He came over, took a look, and said it wasn’t anything to worry about. But I knew something was wrong with me. It was just too far down for anybody to see.

“We had a day off and I was home in Nashville, so I saw a local specialist who suggested a scope. I don’t do good with scopes, so they had to knock me out to get the tube in. But yeah, they confirmed that it was cancer in the side of my throat that had spread to two lymph nodes.

  “Initially, they wanted to send me to MD Anderson in Houston for 11 weeks and I said no. fucking. way. I’m not gonna be away from my family for that long. So, they set me up at Vanderbilt, with Dr. Cmelak, who’s actually one of the best radiation oncologists in the country. I had a good team.”

  Fortunately for Mustaine, Music City is also the healthcare capital of the United States. The band cancelled tour dates and put the brakes on a new record so Dave could begin a brutal treatment regime, resting at his farm in the rolling hills of nearby Franklin between blasts of radiation and IV chemo drips. The worst, he says, is over.

  “I’ll have to do another MRI soon and check in with the doctor regularly, three years, five years. But the cool thing is, my voice came back even better than before. I think the treatment shrunk whatever was on my vocal cord that was making it hard to sing. I’d seen pictures of my voice box and there was some kind of bubble on the flap that was giving me trouble. Cyst, tumour, nodule, whatever the fuck it was. But that’s gone now, and they say long as I don’t do anything stupid, I should be good for the rest of my career. I know once you get cancer you’re never really out of the woods, but if the process doesn’t scare you into changing your lifestyle, then shame on you.”

Dave is no stranger to injuries and pain. He suffered career-threatening nerve damage to his left arm during a 2002 stint in a Texas rehab, and a decade later, underwent emergency surgery for spinal stenosis – whiplash, if you will – resulting in titanium implants in his neck. Flashing his trademark maniacal smile, Dave insists he felt no fear in the face of death.

  “I already died once,” he says, referencing his 1993 overdose on Valium. “I don’t remember anything, though. No light or tunnel or any of that shit. I respect death but I’m not living my life in fear. There was a little when I first found out that I had cancer, but it wasn’t so much about dying, as not being able to use my gift anymore, to play guitar or sing. That really shook me. To be inconvenienced is one thing. It’s something else to lose your gift.”

  Dave leans in. His steely glare, coupled with the white beard and wild hair, gives him the appearance of some Old Testament prophet of doom. “When they told me that my arm was 80% and I would never play guitar again, I thought, ‘You have no idea who you’re talking to. I will absolutely play again, and it’ll be a matter of days, not weeks.’ There’s a couple things I still can’t do, but I feel like I can play almost as good as I used to. Going through that thing with my arm was helpful. It gave me the courage to face any kind of medical problem I might have down the road. I’m going to do everything they say and if there’s blood, I can handle it. I’ve seen my own blood before.” 

  We ask about the darkest days, if his reputation causes people to expect an unrealistic level of strength. Dave fidgets with his shoelace. Ruffles the pup sweetly. Reaches for another piece of gum before the reply.

  “I think people do expect me to be invincible. It is a lot of pressure,” he admits. “But when you come out on the other side victorious, they cheer even louder. I like being a man of the people. That might sound corny, but it’s true. The hardest part was having to let others take care of me. I’ve always been so independent that even if I do need help, I’m not going to let anyone know. But overall, chemo wasn’t as ugly for me as it is for a lot of people. I had a couple of days where I got really sick and threw up, but that was it. I tried to be upbeat. When I would go in for treatment, I’d talk with the other patients, try to be encouraging.”

  The thrash titan was forced to miss the band’s inaugural MegaCruise in October, with his daughter, Electra, stepping in to represent the family. Upon completion of treatment, Dave was able to return for the Killing Road tour with Five Finger Death Punch in January. While on stage at the SSE Arena in Wembley, he announced that the cancer was in complete remission. 

  “Actually, I think I mentioned it from the first show of the tour,” says Dave. “If not Helsinki, then Stockholm for sure. I wanted the fans to know that I’m OK and how great the crew has been. And for sure, I want to tell the truth and let everyone know how much I prayed through this whole ordeal. Not just like, ‘Oh, yeah, thanks, God.’ But that I really, seriously prayed.”

Christian for nearly two decades, Dave has always been vocal about his beliefs. While discussing the role faith played in his recovery, he pauses, raking fingers through his beard, measuring his words.

“After growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness, there was a time that I hated the concept of anything that I had to answer to. The church disfellowshipped my sister, Debbie, and I was the only one who would sit and listen to her cry. It flipped me out and all I wanted to do was get back at the people who hurt my sister,” Dave explains. “But now, I try to keep my prayers pretty gentle. I don’t pray for anyone to get hurt or get what’s coming to them, only for God’s will and that he would help me do what I need to do. To me, prayer is just an open, honest, easy conversation like you’re talking to your dad. Essentially, that’s what God is supposed to be, our Father, right? So that makes it easy for me to engage in prayer.”

Asked to elaborate, Dave adds, “In the Bible, the Pharisees liked to pray in public so everybody could see them. They thought the louder they prayed, the more pious they would seem, like it’s an indication of their righteousness. For me, righteousness is something that’s exhibited through consistent behaviour that’s Godly in nature. You sum up the gospels with the Golden Rule. Helping others, no matter what. There’s this old song by the Circle Jerks called Wonderful.” 

  He sings the chorus of the 80s punk classic. Romeo perks up, cocking an ear in his master’s direction. “It’s a great song that talks about how it’s really not so hard to do something nice for someone else. Help a stranger. Smile. If you see a homeless person, give them something to eat. I was homeless once. It was the worst, man. Scrounging for food, living in [bassist] David Ellefson’s van…”  

  Dave apologises for losing his train of thought, blaming the lingering effects of “chemo brain”. After a break, he switches gears, discussing the positive changes that have come from his battle with the disease. “My wife and I are getting along tremendously, and things are really good with my son and daughter right now, too. I’ve got a better relationship with my band. The other day, Kiko [Loureiro, guitarist] says to me, ‘I really like this new Dave!’ What he was talking about, is when you’re dealing with pain, you drink, you smoke, you bitch, because you don’t know what’s going on. But soon as I found out what was wrong with me, I attacked it. Once I did, I could feel myself getting happier too.

Support also came from outside Dave’s immediate circle. His old band brother, James Hetfield, reached out, as did Kiss’s Paul Stanley and Ozzy, who was at war with his own medical demons in 2019.

“Everybody’s treatment is different, but Bruce Dickinson had been through throat cancer about five years ago, so he was able to give me a lot of insight into what to expect. His biggest advice was to listen to the doctors and don’t rush to get back onstage. They told him to hold off, but he went back out to perform and nothing came out. Well, OK. I get it. Bruce waited a month before his first show, so I held off a little longer. My last treatment was in September and I made plenty of time to rest, exercise and eat right before we went back out on tour. We did 22 dates overseas, and I feel great now, except for the fatigue. But I think a lot of that might be due to um, extracurricular activities. Staying up late. Not sleeping. Maybe a little, you know…” 

Thumb and forefinger to his lips, Dave inhales sharply, making the universal symbol for partaking of the herb. Could he be referring to the alleged medicinal benefits of CBD oil? “Don’t screw around with the oil, man,” he growls in the same gravel baritone as his crushing thrash classics. Our eyes go wide as the voice from sixth grade Headbangers Ball comes to life.

  Dave cackles at our reaction, pushing back a wayward strand of hair. “If you’re gonna do it, get the good stuff. I think the world is just now finding out the beauty of cannabis and everything it can do for you. I hear people talk how it’s good for cancer patients. C’mon, it’s good for any fucking patient! The radiation zapped my salivary glands so I couldn’t make spit, which made it really hard to swallow and get food down. They gave me this crazy mouthwash to use that had Benadryl and lidocaine in it, but I still couldn’t eat. So cannabis helped with that, except I got a terrible craving for kiddie cereal. I went to the store and got, like, 20 boxes.” 

  The thought of the Tornado Of Souls singer devouring countless bowls of cereal is a pretty cool picture and we can’t help but inquire about his favourite fix. “Trix with marshmallows. Froot Loops with marshmallows. Frosted Flakes. The kind with little marshmallows. You get the idea. My cancer team told me to try and watch the sugar intake, but they said, ‘Dave, if you can eat – then eat.’ The doctor threatened to put a feeding tube in my gut if I lost too much weight. Well, they scared the shit out of me with that one, but it worked.”

With Dave healthy and back onstage, the follow-up to 2016’s Grammy Award-winning Dystopia is on every Megafan’s brain. Late last year, Dave teased songs that were “heavy as hell” with titles such as Rattlehead, Part Two and The Dogs Of Chernobyl. 

  “I don’t know if any of those titles are still holding up,” he says, revealing that the band has been tracking at Nashville’s Sound Kitchen with co-producer Chris Rakestraw at the controls again. “Whenever I make a record, the names of the songs change so many times. I think we’ve got 14 songs for this album and another folder with six. The songs are constantly evolving and as they do, we change the title to be more reflective of what makes the song distinct.”

  So, will we see a new Megadeth album before 2020 ends? “I hope so, yeah,” says Dave. “We’ll start back in a couple of days and keep plowing until it’s done. Metal Tour Of The Year starts this summer, but that should be fun and easy [Editor’s note – we spoke to Dave before COVID-19 outbreak]. We’ve got a week’s vacation coming up soon and I’m going to go rest up and get ready to come back and make a brilliant record.”

  Nashville traffic is anarchy these days and Romeo looks like he needs to hike his leg. As the sun sets over the Cumberland River, Dave stands and slides an arm around our shoulder, recruiting Metal Hammer to thank the fans for all their thoughts and prayers. It strikes us, how we expect legends to be carved from granite. On one hand, we understand that our heroes are human. But on the other, we never want to see them frail, or sick, or down. And that must be a hell of a burden sometimes. But perhaps, it’s also what keeps them moving. If our heroes can keep pushing, then that gives us the courage to keep pushing too, through all the shitstorms of life, disasters both natural and manufactured, even the ones we bring upon ourselves. Decades later, they still inspire perseverance, hope, and the determination to never let the bastards grind you down. Maybe even a little 21st century metal up your ass. 

  Still, we have to ask one last thing. Dave’s been on the road almost 40 years. Dues paid; the mark has been made. Was he ever tempted to call it a day, sit back on the farm and enjoy a slow, simple life? 

  “Yeah, I guess I could do that,” he admits, shrugging like it’s no big deal. “But I love what I do, and I like helping the band and crew make money. Playing music makes people happy. A lot of times while we’re out there, they share stuff with us, some good, some bad, but we get to bring our own little brand of panacea to people and somehow, that makes them feel beautiful. Even if it’s for just one night.” 

Published in Metal Hammer #334

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Dave Mustaine Talks About His Fight With Cancer source: Metal Hammer 7th May 2020 How Dave Mustaine Took on Cancer and Won By James Blaine…

#bruce dickinson #chris rakestraw #dave mustaine #david ellefson #dystopia #james hetfield #joe satriani #kiko loureiro #kiss #megadeth #ozzy osbourne #paul stanley #sound kitchen #tornado of souls #zakk wylde

[gethealthy18-blog]

What Your Zodiac Sign Says About Your Style

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/getting-healthy/getting-healthy-women/what-your-zodiac-sign-says-about-your-style/

What Your Zodiac Sign Says About Your Style

Nooraine Hyderabd040-395603080 August 20, 2019

We all have a fashion freak inside of us. You could be going bonkers over the latest trends, or you have your set eyes on something classic from your mum’s wardrobe. They say that your zodiac sign decides what’s in store for you – from your relationships to your career to, most importantly, your sense of style.

Be it the crazy, wild Libra woman to the passionate and fierce Taurus, we have analyzed the personal style of every woman of the zodiac.

Curious to find out what your zodiac sign says about your sense of style? Let’s dive in to see how you can create some chic outfits that reflect your zodiac sign and define your personality!

How To Dress Like Your Zodiac Sign

There is a strong link between fashion and zodiac signs. This article will explore how you can and play around with color, detailing, layers, and accessories to style yourself based on your zodiac.

ARIES

March 21 – April 19

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Aries women are quite the risk-takers and don’t lack excitement. Even though you are weak for the classic style, it’s never too hard for you to sport some comfortable and funky streetwear.

Style Qualities

You have a deep love for all things classic and carry them off with grace. From maxi dresses to trench coats, you love nothing more than a timeless outfit. At the same time, you do not shy away from accessorizing with junk jewelry or opting for a comfortable pair of jeans and boots. You are the perfect combination of girl-next-door and a classy woman.

Strengths

Challenge seeker

Independent

Assertive

Likes: Comfortable clothes, privacy, spending quality time with friends and family, playing and watching sports.

TAURUS

April 20 – May 20

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You exude confidence, loyalty, and ambition. There could be nothing more apt to represent your zodiac sign than the bull. You adore simplicity but also love bold accessories and jackets.

Style Qualities

A fashion-forward aesthetic soul – that is what you are, dear Taurus woman. Your wardrobe is mainly filled with basic tees and bold-colored jeans. You love pairing pretty floral scarves with bold accessories. You swear by pastel shades. Be it Tiffany blue, powder pink, pastel yellow, or shades of brown, you are a sucker for them all.

Strengths

Emotional maturity

Ambition

Loyalty

Likes: Good food and occasional drinks, active social life, music, security, and stability.

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

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A mix of yin and yang, you know how to look at both sides of the spectrum. You are blessed with a creative mind and a strong imagination and never let yourself get bored. The attention you get when your outfit is on point makes you feel confident and wanted.

Style Qualities

You absolutely hate wearing the same outfit twice. And if you do, you team it up with something that makes it look completely different. You are a fan of experimenting with new pieces to see what works for you.

Strengths

Smart and inquisitive

Passionate lover

Can smell bullshit from a mile away

Likes: Spontaneous plans, sarcasm, exploring new places, and books.

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

Hi there, over-thinker. You love hugs, don’t you? You are calm and observant. If people think you are unusually quiet, it is probably because you’ve zoned out. Dressing up, even for the most casual events, makes you happy.

Style Qualities

A massive hoodie and sneaker collector. You love outfits that keep you cozy but still look feminine. It is a well-known fact that you are a sucker for shades of gray, white, and olive green. You cannot do without your favorite accessory – shades. You adore watches and striped T-shirts as well.

Strengths

Affectionate

Adaptable

Romantic

Likes: Being alone, cuddles, TV shows, wine, and cheese.

LEO

July 23 – August 22

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You are both strong and harsh yet sensitive and empathetic. You are a notorious bee that likes to buzz around, spreading good vibes. You don’t always mean to, but you have a knack for attracting attention. Your creativity and wild personality never cease to amaze people, and this shows in your sense of style.

Style Qualities

Guess who has a sweet spot for tank tops? You love a casual outfit but like to keep things interesting. Satin tank tops, jean shorts, and mini skirts are your favorite go-to outfits. Your most prized accessories are watches and sunglasses. They make you look hot and smart at the same time.

Strengths

Honesty

Never backs down from a good challenge

Unemotional

Likes: Keeping your circle small, going on adventures, handling your own issues, pop-rock music, and bacon.

VIRGO

August 23 – September 22

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Your best friend is music, and you are anything but a people-pleaser. You tend to get very empathetic and emotional, and that’s what separates you from the rest. You hustle to get what you want. When styling an outfit, you love experimenting with the silhoutte. You also have a special place in your heart for kimonos.

Style Qualities

A kimono paired with sneakers makes you feel happy. You value comfort, and most days, you opt for shorts and tanks. Your wardrobe is also filled with outfits with interesting and unique silhouettes.

Strengths

Realistic

Trustworthy

Observant

Likes: Books, coffee, nature, and napping.

LIBRA

September 23 – October 23

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When someone tells you not to do something, you do it twice and take pictures! Stubborn, crazy, and filled with a lust for life – that’s what you are, Libra girl. Being an active talker and a social butterfly, you love surrounding yourself with people you adore. Your sense of style is a mirror of this entertaining personality.

Style Qualities

You are a complete freak for crop tops, shorts, and palazzo pants. You love having your outfit speak for itself. You rock in pretty summer dresses and classic maxi gowns. You love accessorizing with shades, watches, and belts. You are a fan of boots too.

Strengths

Good judgment

Will not take crap from anyone

Street smart

Likes: Being in a relationship, coffee, spontaneous plans, and partying.

SCORPIO

October 24 – November 21

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Look who we have here. It’s little Miss Perfect! You are always one to plan everything to perfection. Scorpios cannot stand being unorganized. You make it very easy for everyone to love you, and you can never stay mad at anyone for too long.

Style Qualities

Scorpios adore formals. From pencil skirts to collared shirts, you love it all. It gives you a sense of strength and confidence. Another thing that gives you life when you dress up is makeup. You love enhancing your eyes with kohl, mascara, and eyeshadow. It adds mystery to your personality and spices up your outfit.

Strengths

Self-dependent

Unapologetic

Humorous

Likes: Being dominant in most situations, tea, a good gossip session, and sarcasm.

SAGITTARIUS

November 22 – December 21

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You may be funny and gullible on the outside, but on the inside, you feel emotions deeply and are pretty sensitive. Your mood swings can give anybody a whiplash. You go from 0 to 100 real quick, and it is hard to keep up with you. Your wardrobe mainly consists of pieces that bring you comfort and warmth.

Style Qualities

On most days, you opt for feminine cardigans, sweatshirts, and hoodies. You love sticking to basic polo T-shirts. For a Sagittarius, comfort is key. You like to keep your outfit neat, basic, and pleasant. You seek peace in your clothes, and sweaters offer you just that.

Strengths

Passionate about your feelings

Not afraid to be unique

Goal-driven

Likes: Sitting by yourself, drinking coffee, reading books, romantic-comedy movies, and ice-cream.

CAPRICORN

December 22 – January 19

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You either eat too much or sleep too much. Capricorns are like the human version of pandas – cute and cuddly. You live inside your head more than in the outside world. You tend to shut people out if they break your trust. Your dressing style is the ultimate embodiment of sophistication and poise.

Style Qualities

You are a huge shoe collector. Your love for shoe makes you experiment with new pairs frequently. Mules, sneakers, wedges – name it, and you’ve got it! Capricorns have a sweet spot for floral blouses and V-neck tops.

Strengths

Determined

Competitive

Sophisticated

Likes: Binge-watching movies, napping, shopping, and traveling solo.

AQUARIUS

January 20 – February 18

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You are that sweetpea who wants to do good to everybody. You love the idea of independence so much that you never let anybody help you solve your problems. You give your all to everything you do. You love pastel hues that add a soft aura to match your personality.

Style Qualities

You happen to love shades of blue. And why not? You are the water-bearer of the zodiac. From camisoles to flowy blouses and dresses, you carry them all off with elegance and femininity.

Strengths

Approachable

You tend to think five steps ahead at all times

Emotional maturity

Likes: Living on your own terms, music, impromptu adventure trips, and swimming.

PISCES

February 19 – March 20

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Nothing about you is common or ordinary. You tend to come across as fierce but also have an adorable side to you. You don’t trust people easily and often hide your pain. You like to socialize, and your vibe is nothing but entertaining and happy. Your wardrobe is comprised of everything that makes you feel alive and happy.

Style Qualities

You don’t think too much about shopping for specific brands. If it looks good on you, you go for it. You tend to gravitate toward tank tops. You prefer shorts over jeans and accessorizing with caps and shades. You like keeping the vibe of your outfit fun, adventurous, and crazy.

Strengths

Finds joy in small things

An eye for detail

Progressive

Likes: Originality, baking, artwork, and long drives at night.

Each of these zodiac signs has a fun and exciting sense of style. Glam up your wardrobe according to your zodiac sign to look your best! Have any more questions about dressing according to your sun sign? Leave them in the comments section below, and we’ll get back to you.

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Source: https://www.stylecraze.com/articles/zodiac-sign-style/