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in-act-ive · 9 months

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The Walking Dead x GN/NB!over stimulated!Reader

This is a two parter! As of right now the second one isn't out!

Request : nope

Type : headcanon

A / N : My tip is always headphones!! I also only did the characters im comfortable with writing about as of right now! If you need more tips always feel free to ask <33

Carl Grimes

He gets it

He also picks up on it really fast

If you're acting at all off he'll come up behind you and cover your ears to block out some of the noise

He likes it when you put your hands over his

If you look like your about to cry he'll take you away from the chaos and get you some place thats calm and you don't need to stress out anymore

He's probably picked up anything he thinks you can mess with while being over stimmed

One of those is definitely a stuffed animal

Carl definitely has had made excuses that embarrass himself just to help you get away

Rick Grimes

He has experience with it due to his son

He's horrible at picking up on it though

Most of the time you have to go up to him and tell him you're over stimulated by everything going on and he'll try his best to help you

Most of the time he'll send you off with Carol or Tara cause he wants to help but he's busy

When you have to be some place with him he has something in his pockets for you to mess with to distract yourself

Rick just tries to make sure you know he does care

When he does have the time he'll take you somewhere you can rest and will stay with you

Unless he gets pulled to work again

He wants to prioritize you, really

He's just a busy man

Daryl Dixon

He does not what he's doing

He just tries to ask you what you need

He picks up on it almost immediately

9 times out of 10 he goes and asks Carol or Rick what he should be doing

He probably just sends you to someone who knows what their doing unlike himself who is an idiot

He has a list of everything you've said / he's been told that helps

He keeps it on him at all times

He's pretty good about disappearing without anyone noticing so if he knows you need to be away from all the chaos he'll take you there

He won't exactly sit with you, he'll pace around instead

Like, he wants to be there for you, yes, and... He's not good with showing that

Abraham Ford

He knows exactly what he's doing

He's probably sat you down to ask what he can do to help you because he really does want to help

He makes sure to have something in his pockets to give to you to fiddle with when you need a distraction

Big hands = covering your ears

He'll run the back of his hand along yours to let him know he knows and is trying to figure out what you need

He picks up on it a bit slower than most but he does

Sometimes he needs Glenn or Tara to point it out to him so he knows for sure

He will get you away without saying a word to anyone else

If anyone asks he'll say " None of your damn business " and walk off with you

If you start crying he'll cup your face in his hands and whipe your tears away with his thumbs

Glenn Rhee

He's got this

He doesn't

He's trying though!

He picks up on it quickly though and lets anyone who he knows cat help you know

Abraham is his first option every time

He's probably the one to drag you away from a crowd and get you some place thats less stimulating then RUN for Abraham

He does want to help but he really doesn't know how

He's usually your second to last option so most of the time when you get to him you're already crying

He's good at comforting crying people

He'll get you some place safe and kiss your knuckles and use his sleeve to whipe yout tears

He's a sweetheart

He doesn't really understand whats going on but he wants to help none the less

He's probably asked you what happens and how you feel so he can imagine what you'd need

Shane Walsh

Bold of you to assume this man knows jack shit

In all fairness he knows some from dealing with Carl for most of the boys life

He's been nominated most likely to send you to anyone but himself

When he does have to help he kinda pats your back and tries to dig through his pockets to find something for you to fiddle with

He kinda seems irritated with you when you bother him about it

Eye rolls every time

He'll cover your ears if you ask nicely

On rare occasions he'll take you somewhere less stimulating

He'll leave you there

Aside from being rude 24/7 he will try and help if he has to

He just doesn't like being helpful

Negan

This man is so helpful

You still don't know why he's like that

Most of the time he picks up on it instantly and will try and help you best he can

He'll sit down with you in front of him facing him and he'll cover your hears, running this thumbs against anywhere they can reach

He likes it when you distract himself by playing with his hair

If you're lucky and you two are close enough he'll pull you into his lap

He'll get everyone to shut up and leave so you can be in a less stimulating environment

He's found and stolen a bunch of things you can mess with when you need too

He always focuses on your breathing, making sure its stable, always

He may act like an ass but he tries to tone it down

He knows how to help and will help anyway you want / need it

Gabriel Stokes

He knows the basic amount of things

Probably asked Rick for help on what to do lets be honest

He didn't want to ask you directly to seem inconsiderate

He tries to avoid you to not make it all worse

It makes it worse

Someone had to tell him that avoiding you made you feel horrible and he felt bad

The amount of times he apologized was exhausting for you

Hr tries to help out a lot better now even if he has no clue really what he's doing

He'll give you something to fiddle with and help you take deep breaths before running to find someone who knows how to help you better

He has stated he wants to help but doesn't know how to nor does he want to be the main person you rely on

Note: This was not spell checked nor grammer checked! I apologize in advance for the mistakes

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ythmir-writes · 9 months

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a moment for prince keith in silvio's route -

Or what if you were the palace guard assigned to prince keith and belle at That Moment

he just really went up and grabbed MC by the scruff of their neck and squeezed huh. not even kidding in the slightest. no simple i have my hand around your neck in a friendly (only slightly suspicious) manner because this isnt really a threat more of a warning type and i do not want to alert you. Nope. He just got up there and placed a forefinger and thumb where it wouldn't leave a mark, no one would be the wiser, but it will hurt. If he squeezed, it will be very painful.

Keith. Soft-spoken, well-mannered, seemingly unsure and recluse Jadean First Prince, went up to MC, grabbed their neck and said with the seriousness of His Title, the crown soon to be on his head, the weight of the entire Jade kingdom, the wrath of a man who does not like being manipulated, and asked MC if they were an Obsidian spy

can you just imagine being one of the guards during this scene? you've probably had some experience with nobles and their little jokes-gone-horribly-wrong. you're handpicked by no less than the devil minister, so you're trusted to be able to handle, to a degree, situations that can quickly escalate and leave one body unconscious. Or several.

So you're thinking as you receive your orders, your luck is turning up. Escort undercover Belle and the Prince around town? This is practically a day off. You've had guarding duties before and despite what most people think, it's a chore. Absolutely (sometimes literally) back-breaking if you're paired with a noble that can't sit still for five minutes. But this is Belle, you think, and Prince Keith. You've seen him around, especially with Prince Yves and Prince Licht. Aside from his imposing height, there was nothing to be afraid of. Not really. Not in any way that you think would put Belle under mortal danger.

So when Prince Keith moved closer towards Belle, you did what any good, obedient, discrete Rhodolitian palace guard would do and shifted your eyes away to give them some semblance of privacy.

Except.

There was no warning of any sort. No obvious shift in the mood that would have indicated Prince Keith as displeased enough to wrap a hand around Belle's neck. You moved too, body reacting reflexively on its own at the sign of danger to your charge, hand on the hilt of your sword, asking the Prince to let go and step away.

"It's a game." Prince Keith says. "We're just playing."

Everything in you tells you it isn't. "Prince Keith -"

"Don't." Gone is the reclusive demeanor, the gentle cloud you've seen on him. He looks at you and it is a physical force that stops you and the rest of the guards in their tracks. Your throat goes dry as you see the sheen of sweat on Belle's face, at the slight tension on their neck and the way Keith's hand was poised so accurately it was practically textbook. You look at the other guards, equally uncertain as to where they should stand. Duty tells them to obey a Prince. Duty tells them to avoid anything that would cause diplomatic issues. But doesn't duty also tell them to save one of their own?

You call out to Belle, ask them if they need assistance. All you needed was one word, even just a whimper asking for help. No matter Prince Keith's rank, Minister Sariel's orders were absolute.

"It's fine." They say, hand wrapped around Keith's wrist. "I'm fine." Their eyes were trained on Keith despite everything else of them seemingly trying to strain away. You want to ignore their reassurance because you know when someone is seized by terror

and Belle was petrified.

#ikemen prince #keith howell #silvio ricci spoilers #ikemen prince spoilers #silvio route spoilers #unbidden but goddamn i loved that scene so much #tagging this as spoilers still if you hvent reached this part yet #keith is welcome to grab me by the neck too if he'll let me do it in turn #ythmir writes #ythmir fanfics

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naranjapetrificada · 7 months

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Fic recs based on what bits of s2 promotion made you go 👀

So obviously we only have a couple days left and I shouldn't have put this off for so long, but I've been making connections between fics I've encountered and questions raised by the teaser, trailer, and BTS video and thought I'd share some of them. Light (extremely light, like you've just emerged from an isolated cave light) s2 spoilers possible, although it's still mostly speculation?

Anyway this obviously got very long, so I'm throwing in a break now so I don't slow your scroll.

Maybe time in nature helps Ed do some healing?

Fallow Land & Bigger Sky, which I can't ever seem to shut up about was such a rewarding and healing read for me. Especially recommended for people who are interested in Ed's inner life, healing journey, and coping mechanisms, maladaptive or otherwise. Also folks who are excited for him to have an animal friend like Stede Bunnet, although in this fic it's a sweet little black lamb that he sometimes carries around in his shirt.

It begins with Ed having spent a year since The Dock living incognito on a remote (but not deserted!) island trying to get his head around everything that happened and looking for something like peace, however he can get it. It's written in an evocative, poetic way and includes some incredibly lovely flashbacks, believable character growth, important realizations, and tender emotional moments. The vibes are more pastoral than castaway, but Ed is still given time and space to do the work he needs to do in rugged, isolated surroundings so it still scratches that itch for me.

[There are definitely some triggers to be aware of but it feels like the author did a good job of mentioning them at the beginning of each chapter.]

Maybe they do some healing together?

There's no need to reinvent the wheel so I'm going to borrow heavily from an earlier post I made about healing and fanfic two make the case for these two:

Brace Yourself and Nestle into Me: The premise is that Ed and Stede figure out that they're into each other around episode 7, and they're deliriously happy to know that they feel the same way about each other. But Stede has some (understandable) sexual dysfunction around being queer thanks to the horrible society that he grew up in. Ed is a darling trying to help him through it all, and along the way he realizes he also has some of his own hangups he needs to work through, and that they can both support each other's healing.

I appreciate that this one doesn't treat healing like a straight line because it never is, and emphasizes that trust can't just be implicit, you really have to talk it through as a crew, even if it's just a crew of two broken middle-aged men who are desperately in love with each other. It also gets into some of the stuff I've been talking about on here about grieving your former selves and the selves you never got to be, which was validating as hell. That sounds heavy and there are concepts that are literally part of modern therapy modalities woven into the story, but there are also warm and loving and hilarious moments too, including this gem:

“Also can you just imagine how proud little horny baby gay Stede would be know you would be to know that whatever he went through, today you’ve got your own ship and are getting completely railed by Blackbeard? I mean, just absolutely dicked down by the most famous pirate in history? He would lose his mind.”

Adrift Between the Dreaming Seas: Based on my usual filtering on ao3 I probably never, ever would have come across this fic if it weren't for a recommendation someone posted here. It's got fantasy elements, allegory, metaphors stacked on metaphors, talking animals, and so many other things that would have kept me from ever discovering it on my own. My life would be poorer for it.

Basically Stede is cursed to be a lighthouse keeper on an island that seems to move around the world. Animals show up and the ones who talk to him are members of the crew, and Ed is an actual kraken. It's all this symbolism about monstrosity and trauma and maladaptive coping and the messiness that is Stede's kindness scraping against his self loathing. I shed tears of many kinds along the way, and it made me think hard about community and recovery and the things we do to and for ourselves and others.

It's just a lovely little gem of a story that made me feel so much so deeply while also making me laugh much more than I was anticipating. I'm so glad I gave it a chance.

Maybe there's a massive, life-altering storm?

A World of Tempestuous Things, which is nearly finished and has been such a rewarding, moving journey to follow as it explores another take on their reunion story. There's the expected angst and misunderstandings, but also wit and warmth and longing and rage and these casually devastating historical asides, some of which still haunt me out of the blue because of the staggering and inescapable nature of the passage of time. Speaking of passages and being haunted, dig if you will, this picture:

so little time to dwell amongst strangers as a citizen of the world will never, ever stop reverberating in my head like a cymbal crash and I guess that's just something I live with now. @lostakasha, you've given me the existentially beautiful prose version of tinnitus.

Maybe Stede's slut party era is finally upon us?

If so, good for him, he deserves it so much.

When the Light Shines In is a missing scene/lightly canon-divergent take on s1e06, if you just like the idea of meeting a jolly version of Drunk Stede (vs that "unhand me or bleed" guy, who is hot in his own way or course but can't beat messy earnest bossy Stede in my opinion). It's set immediately after the fight with Izzy. Ed is patching him up and trying not to vibrate out of his own skin, while Stede is affectionate and chatty and besotted whether he knows it or not, and steadily working his way through a bottle of rum for the pain. So not really related to season 2, but it will still scratch that same itch and make you smile real big.

Well, I Ain't Tactful is actually set during season 2, inspired by the moment in the BTS video where Ed sees Stede getting drunk with his new leather buddies. If you asked yourself what might happen if Ed felt compelled to keep an eye on Sloppy Stede and tuck him in with a glass of water, then this one will be fun. Ed is caring and lovely about it all even while still being a bit mad at him for everything, and Stede is a mess but so sweet and still so, so in love.

Maybe we'll get to see young Ed on Hornigold's ship?

There's no evidence of that so far beyond the whole ghost of Hornigold thing, but it certainly would be a treat. But even if it doesn't, if the idea of more young Ed appeals I cannot possibly recommend the pre-canon Never Shall We Die enough.

Now there's no getting around two crucial things that may be dealbreakers for some people: first, it's long. It's very, very long. Second: it's a WIP. Only one of two I've allowed myself to follow in this fandom so I don't get overwhelmed or bogged down. But!

The writing is so impeccable that it stands head and shoulders above almost everything I've ever read on ao3 and honestly above a lot of commercially published original fiction I've encountered in the same span of time since I've started it. The settings are deliciously (and sometimes, due to the realities of life on a pirate ship, disgustingly) immersive, the action scenes are perfectly paced, and the emotional beats, when they hit, hit hard and ring true and stay with you.

Starting at at age 13, young Ed's growth and development over time is equal parts rewarding and harrowing. Threads are pulled together from canon and from earlier parts of the story to coalesce into a portrait of a living, breathing version of our favorite guy trying to find his place in the world, stumbling along the way, and eventually realizing that if he wants a place he'll have to make it himself. The secondary characters leap off the proverbial page too, and the connections he does or doesn't form with them have interesting, believable fallout for everyone involved.

I mentioned action scenes earlier, but I want to circle back around to them again because NSWD takes Izzy's season 1 comment about Blackbeard being the greatest sailor he's ever known and says the same with its whole chest. I know I'm not alone in hoping to see Incredible Sailor Ed in season 2, but in the mean time this is more than scratching that itch for me. We see Ed set foot on his first ship with no skills beyond attracting (mostly) unwelcome attention and observational skills that become the foundation of his later abilities with the sea and with the art of fuckery. From the outside he looks like a savant but on the inside he builds his skills slowly over time, delighting in learning new things and seeing a plan come together. But best of all, he delights in the skills of others, eagerly learns from them when he can, happily teaches what he can to the few people he trusts, and takes pleasure and pride in their own success.

I could literally keep talking about this fic until the next chapter gets posted, but the good news is that happens regularly! I know it can be tough to trust a WIP but I for one am so thankful for the moment of poor impulse control that led to me starting this one. New chapters come roughly every two weeks, and looking at @tresdem's output elsewhere helps me feel secure that we'll actually get to the end.

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lastwave · 4 months

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my masky agenda. gets out my cork board and red string. please keep in miiiind this is going with the reading that tim and masky are a system

so. imagine this. you have bad memory. you have bad memory and you're not like other children and you see things that people tell you aren't there. you live with your mom and your mom is not kind. you have an imaginary friend. he is nice to you and he gets you. he talks for you when you cant. you talk to him in your head. there is a thing outside and it is not like the other things you see and it makes you sick. your mother just looks sadder when you try to tell her. the doctors don't say they don't believe you, but you can see it on their face.

and then you leave home for a while. you're at a psych ward and they leave you and your friend locked in a room alone longer than any child should be because they don't know how to help you. theyre upset because you stopped being able to talk a week ago and you don't remember why. you don't know when it clicks but you realize they have never called you your name. these hands are not your own. *you* are the imaginary friend here, not the other one. what are you, really? is it your fault he's here? he has friends, but do you?

the thing starts showing up in your room. making you both worse. the other can't handle it so you have to. you have to. ...sometimes it shows you the outside world. bloody and horrible and wooded but it isnt these stupid white walls it isnt these people who make no effort for you or your friend. your brother?

you go home again. you're not sure why. this process repeats itself time and time again. perhaps the thing can be deciphered? it isn't you, and it isn't your brother, you know that much. the meds make it easier to withstand. but not in the way it makes hallucinations easier. when did you learn the other things were hallucinations, again?

you come to the conclusion that it has the power to end this cycle. it wants something in exchange. there's no way to know what. a faustian wheel of fortune. you don't remember how the ward burned down, really. you barely remember the emancipation process, either.

and then things are okay for a while. they aren't great, but you and your brother are safe from your mom. doctors. the thing in the woods. your brother makes friends and you watch. sometimes you interact with them. always under the pretense that you are your brother, though. you can't break the illusion that this is one person.

you lose some time. more than usual. a few years, maybe? your brother's grown sideburns, gotten a house. your brother's friend is sick. sick like you were. the other is angry like a mad dog, you're not sure why.

you hang out with the sick friend. after a certain point he's mad at your brother, you by extension. he talks to the thing. a lot. maybe as much as you used to. maybe more. he's getting worse and you don't know how to help him and its started paying attention to you again too. your brother is alone again. he won't tell you why. his friend is not his friend anymore but yours. he doesn't feel like a friend but have you had a normal friend before?

he shows you a video of someone trying to dig through the mad dog's descent. he's also infected with it. so is the person digging. your friend tells him he's gonna mess with the person by leading them to his old house.

your friend is going to infect more people. your friend has reinfected you.

you hang out at the old house waiting for the person. you'll scare them off. people won't mess with something after there's a bodily threat towards them, right? you've always been a fighter. you think a doctor hit you. or was it your mom? you brother got into a lot of fights.

it doesn't scare them off. you keep trying to scare them, it keeps not working.

maybe your friend is right about their approach, you know? god is real and it can hear you screaming. can you scream loud enough?

#hugh txt #kevin #tim txt #system collaborative effort here tbh #marble hornets #masky marble hornets #mh masky #sorry for being balls to the wall insane but i get him. i get why he did all that

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deathbxnny · 2 months

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So this was a one-shot I originally wrote for an Oc of mine a while back, but because I really liked the angst, I decided to post an edited version on here, too. This is very self-indulgent, and if any of you have any jjk requests, PLEASE SEND THEM TO ME AAAA-!

Content: MAJOR SPOILER WARNING FOR THE SHIBUYA ARC!!, Character death, heavy angst, hurt no comfort, reader is a little mean to/angry at Yuji?, bitter ending, mentions of blood/injuries, mentions of canon violence, slight hint at Megumi x Reader?, very self-indulgent

Reader was originally female, but this can be read as gender neutral.

((Not fully proofread))

《If only you hadn't. (Yuji x Gn!Reader)》

Things were better back then.

When you two were simply best friends since childhood, having spent every day with one another, and then continued doing so once you both became curse users in rather odd ways.

You always knew that something was... off about you. From seeing weird and sometimes even scary monsters to having unnatural abilities only Yuji ever got to know about. It didn't come as a surprise to know that you are a sorcerer. But Yuji swallowing a whole finger of all of things was definitely surprising. You both didn't take your situation as seriously as you perhaps should have, too blinded by the prospect of knowing that you'd be together again as always once more.

But now, hiding behind large pieces of ruble in the dark, barely lit Shibuyan underground, injured and scarred in unimaginable ways, Yuji realised what a mistake all of this had been from the start.

Or rather, what a mistake he had made that broke your friendship beyond repair.

You were sitting against a cracked wall, legs pulled to your chest, wide eyes staring right through the cold pavement below you. Right next to you was Yuji in a similar state, his arms bandaged rather clumsily in the black fabric of your uniform's jacket, his body hunched over with an empty gaze like yours.

The silence was deafening. So much so that it made you tremble with feelings you've tried to keep down for so long. Feelings you've always felt so guilty about having from the start.

You wanted to go home.

Not back to the school or the dormitories, no, you wanted to go home. Back to your familiar streets and your old, boring life. Back to when you were just yourself. Not a curse user. Not a sorcerer.

Just you.

You had been trying to keep away those dark, bitter thoughts. Keep the scorching hot anger at bay, whenever you got hurt, whenever you woke up with the most horrible nightmares. Whenever you nearly died. You felt suffocated sitting next to him now. In fact you could barely remember the lighter, better days with him, when you felt happy and free at his side.

Only a love letter in a dusty shoe box under your bed proved that you ever felt that way now and something about it made you wonder who was really at fault here.

Was it Yuji? Sukuna? Both? You? Or perhaps everyone played their part in it. You didn't know what was worse.

"... What should we do now?" You whispered breathlessly to yourself, not expecting or really wanting an answer from the boy next to you. You knew better than to think he of all people would know anyways.

But it was so suffocating-

Hissing out a string of curses, you pushed yourself onto your wobbling feet, slightly wincing at the pain that rushed through you before you began patting yourself down. Your hands were shaking, brows furrowing in thought.

Had you... Had you imagined picking your phone off the ground when you were being attacked? You remembered it so vividly, the cuts in your uniform proof that you had indeed nearly risked your life for it. If Mahito had expected you to dive right under him for it, then-

"-Ah!" You gasped softly, in relief mostly, when you finally felt it in your pocket. Gulping, you retrieved and opened it. There was a deep crack across the screen, but it thankfully still worked and had enough reception for a single call. You could feel Yuji's intense and so painfully knowing stare burn into the back of your head when your thumb suddenly froze over your call log.

Who... who should you even call? Who was left?

You bit your lip and opened it anyway, despite knowing better. And the first name made you already regret ever considering it.

"Kugisaki<3"

Your first ever girl best friend.

The one you always joked and laughed with. The one you always went shopping with. The one that kept your back clear during fights and made sure you were always okay.

Now laying somewhere in her own blood, stiff bodied, the single eye that was left staring up into the cracked ceiling above. You could imagine Kugisaki's phone vibrating in the crimson liquid; what would usually take seconds for her to pick up, now forever taking an eternity.

"Gojo-sensei :D"

Right.

One mistake, a single second of hesitation. That's all it took for your strongest line of defense to be captured and the hunters turning into the hunted.

You doubted that there was any reception in whatever prison realm Gojo was sent into. But you for once hoped that this all was just another stupid prank of his. That he'd suddenly appear and tell you that it was just another tasteless joke.

And yet... you knew that even he wouldn't find any of this funny.

"Maki☆"

You remembered the way the older girl caught fire whilst pushing you out of Jogo's way. You didn't see where she had run off to afterward, mainly because Maki herself had screamed at you to run. You felt ashamed knowing you had done just that, unable to help.

You shivered at the memory of the warm flames passing by your face, the small moment in which you and Maki locked eyes, before she was engulfed in them. That image, those screams, will forever be engraved in your mind. Especially in your already ever worsening dreams.

Was she alive or dead by now?

You didn't have the courage to find out, the guilt making you want to die.

"Megumi♡"

Your eyes softened at the sight of his name, your heart beating against your ribcage with a painful ache.

Megumi.

Just where was he now?

He had been holding onto your hand and running through the empty streets earlier, before you both got suddenly separated by that odd man... then you bumped into Yuji, who saved you from that weird guy with the cursed blood technique.

You shifted on your feet nervously, cringing slightly at the iron taste from how hard you bit down on your lip.

Was Megumi still alive?

Something in your soul felt heavy at the thought of losing him, especially. It was odd, as that feeling only once belonged to Yuji.

Deciding to bite the bullet, you pressed down on his number and held your phone to your ear.

But... with every other and longer ring... more tears fell from your eyes until you hung up on your own and dropped your arm with a shaky sigh. The silence was only filled by the sound of the call disconnecting and the last of your reception dying with it.

Yuji stared at your now completely defeated form, your body only illuminated by the flickering subway lights hanging broken from the ceiling. He watched you weakly raise your hand to wipe away your tears, soft sniffles leaving you as you trembled with every quiet, heartbroken sob.

He knew you had tried to call Megumi.

And now, sitting in your cold shadow, he realised that he had lost you from the moment he became a vessel.

Ever since you two got to Jujutsu tech, you and the black haired, stoic boy had grown oddly close. There was an understanding between you two that Yuji couldn't ever come close to feeling. He was so awfully jealous in a way that made him feel so guilty. He felt like he was losing his best friend.

His crush ever since he could think.

So since the beginning, right?

"... Nanami is also dead... there is no point in-" "-SHUT UP!" You screamed, before turning around sharply and throwing your phone right at him. He moved his head just fast enough to evade it, the device breaking into millions of pieces, a shard cutting right through his cheek. And yet he still continued to stare at you with this burning intensity that made you nauseous.

The tortured soul in you wept for a way out, but all you could do was stand there, panting heavily in anger and panic at what you had done, until you let out another yell and burried your face into your hands. The words spilled out of your mouth uncontrollably, scorching and burning with pure, unrelenting rage. All Yuji could near selfishly think about, however, was that he was happy you were still here with him.

That you were alive enough to hate him.

"Why me!? Why!? What did I ever do to any of you?!" You didn't know who you were really talking to. Was it Yuji? Sukuna? The sorcerer world that had doomed you since the beginning? You didn't even know what enraged you more. "All I wanted was to have a good life with you! A simple one! I want to go back to the boring, old lectures filled with Kanji studies and math. I wish I never learned of who I was-" You looked down at him again from over the tips of your fingers, broken and teary eyes, yet the rage fit you. But the tears hurt. "If only you hadn't-" That's when you stop yourself at last. Despite everything, you still couldn't blame him directly like you should.

Because in the end, it wasn't his fault either, was it?

You both were screwed anyways.

Wiping away the last of your tears, you slowly walked over to him and slid down the wall slowly, your legs finally giving out. The silence returned, Yuji not saying a word anymore like you had asked.

Pulling your legs to your chest, you buried your face into your arms and that was that. You didn't move afterwards, in fact, you didn't want to anymore. What was the point?

Even if things got worse, it didn't matter anymore. And he knew it too.

Yuji opened his mouth hesitantly, wanting so desperately to save your friendship, before he simply lowered his head again and closed his eyes in defeat.

If only he hadn't made that mistake... then you would've never ended up here.

Then, this empty, wide space in between you two wouldn't symbolize your end.

So uhh... a little bit of a different one-shot than usual, but the JJK brain rot is making me crazy, so take this as a quick intermission from my other requests. I hope you guys liked it though! And if anyone has a JJK request, whether headcanon or One-shot, PLEASE LET ME KNOW I BEG-

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu yuji #jujutsu sorcerer #jjk yuji #yuji itadori #yuji x reader #yuji x you #yuji x y/n #jjk angst #jjk fanfic

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sapphic-sundry · 2 months

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I HAD A THOUGHT

so I'm abrosexual.

today I was feeling bisexual for the first time IN AGES. like you don't understand how rare that is for me. I messaged this to my friend, who was busy at the time.

then, I had to go out into the real world to do an errand. sad, I know.

when I got home, I messaged my friend again. "home safe. feeling less bisexual by the minute."

my friend then answered back, saying "what does that even mean?"

and I was like, oh my gosh, people won't understand what that means. BUT THEN I HAD A THOUGHT. A METAPHOR THOUGHT.

this is how people usually explain abrosexual:

it's similar to being bisexual, in that it's fluid. but sometimes you can be pan, or ace, or only attracted to one gender, etc. it's like genderfluid but for sexuality.

which is a good explanation! it is! but I thought of a better one.

imagine you've been cursed. (by an evil wizard or fae trickster or old god, whichever you prefer. the origin of the curse is not the point.) (i am not at all saying being abrosexual is a curse, this is just a metaphor to explain it.)

imagine that the curse is that your tastebuds are ever-changing. y'know how like when you get older, you enjoy new things, or maybe hate things you used to love? imagine that's what's happening to your tastebuds, on a daily basis.

you crave different things. sometimes you crave ice cream, or vegetables, or both, or nothing at all.

it's infuriating, because you can't control it.

imagine you have a favorite food. one from before the curse, something you've loved since you were young. let's say it's Reese's peanut butter cups.

HOWEVER. this spell has ruined your tastebuds. for a while now, you've only been craving peanut butter. you stare longingly at chocolate, for you love it. but when you try to eat it, it just doesn't taste right. the joy isn't there. in the past, it has been the opposite. you crave chocolate, but not peanut butter. or even sometimes, you crave nothing at all.

but one shining morning, you wake up craving both. it's a euphoric moment. you say to yourself, I'm going to have a peanut butter cup today. I'm going to enjoy it so much.

but before you can, you get busy. have stuff to do. before you know it, when you're finally done, you think about that peanut butter cup again. you head to a vending machine. then, as you punch in the numbers, you realize something. your craving is dwindling. your stomach drops. you know if you don't hurry, it won't taste good. it will simply be bland. you put the food to your mouth, and - it's too late. you've stopped enjoying chocolate the way you could have. you die inside, a little.

in this metaphor, craving chocolate is attraction to women. craving peanut butter is attraction to men. craving reese's is attraction to both (feeling bisexual.) craving nothing is attraction to no one (feeling asexual.)

this is a horrible metaphor as it equates being asexual/aromantic to not having taste, which is simply untrue. aspec ppl have great taste! they can still have attraction in many ways, and can enjoy things like food, fashion, dragons, and unicorns.

BUT I think it gets the point across.

being abrosexual is like craving different things in an unpredictable way. sometimes it can be really frustrating, and complicated, and downright confusing. a lot of internalized phobia and imposter syndrome is involved.

for me, I consider myself Sapphic, as I love women very much. they're incredible. however, I don't always feel attraction to them the way I'd like to. usually, I find myself drawn more to men, even though I could never really see myself dating one (that isn't fictional.)

so yeah, for anyone wondering, I hope this helps.

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returnsandreturns · 1 year

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“Buddy, I’ve gotten through most of the emotional pain from the breakup,” Foggy says, before he’s even got their door fully open, tossing himself onto his bed, “but can I be vulnerable with you right now?”

“Of course,” Matt says, amused, turning in his chair.

“I am—outrageously horny,” Foggy says, lowering his voice like somebody might hear them. He’s been holding this in but he’s got to talk about this with someone and Matt is legally obligated to be that person. They signed a contract and everything. “Like levels of horny I have never experienced. There’s something about being cut off from regular sex that makes you go fucking crazy.”

“I’m a light sleeper,” Matt says, dryly, blushing faintly in a way that Foggy normally loves. “I am extremely aware of how horny you are.”

He knew in his deepest heart of hearts that he probably wasn’t being stealthy but desperate times call for a truly record-breaking amount of masturbation.

“Oh my god,” Foggy says, laughing, grabbing a pillow and holding it over his face for a long moment, voice muffled when he says, “I’m so sorry that you’ve heard me jerking off. If it helps, it’s therapeutic.”

“It’s okay, man,” Matt says, getting up to take the pillow from him and sit on the edge of his bed, hand hovering nearby before patting Foggy gently on the arm. “I get it. Why don’t you just hook up with someone, though?”

“It feels like it’s too soon,” Foggy says, sighing, “but it really needs to happen because I’ve been imagining having sex with, like, everyone I interact with. It’s getting problematic.”

“What do you mean by everyone?” Matt asks, waiting through a few long quiet moments before he asks, incredulous, “With me?”

“I said everyone, didn’t I!” Foggy says, because if Matt’s been listening to him get off for a week, he might as well break down all the walls. “Don’t worry, though—I will eventually stop wondering what your sweat tastes like when you come back from the gym, just like I’ll stop thinking about all of my professors in various horrible porn scenarios.”

“. . .my sweat?” Matt asks, making a face.

“Don’t judge me, Murdock,” Foggy says, laughing. “My hormones are—eating my brain. I’m not going to hit on you, you’re just caught in the crossfire.”

He’s never bothered to come out to anybody—things just happen and sometimes they happen with surprising people and then you can add things like blowjobs to your list of personal skills—so choosing to come out to perfect, beautiful, extremely Catholic Matt by telling him that he’s been lusting over him is a real choice on his part. He always looks so shiny after he works out, though.

“So it’s just proximity?” Matt asks, sounding like he’s actually offended by it.

“Thinking you look lickable?” Foggy asks. “I think you've probably noticed but you have that impact on anybody with an ounce of sexual impulse, Matt. I try not to think about you like that because you’re important to me and also very pious and almost definitely exclusively into girls—”

Matt leans down to kiss him before Foggy can explain all the reasons he tries not to want to have sex with him and those reasons suddenly no longer exist. Nothing exists, actually, nothing but Matt’s mouth and their bodies when Matt moves to get closer, hovering over him when he eventually pulls back with a gasp.

“I’m kind of horny, too,” Matt says, softly.

“Let’s explore that,” Foggy says, guiding him back down.

#mattfoggy #my fic #daredevil

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cool-island-songs · 1 year

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Hope you like inbox headcanons. There was a point in their relationship where both Tweek and Craig felt inadequate. Tweek felt like a burden to his super supportive and caring boyfriend. While Craig felt like a failure in comparison to his boyfriend who was not only multi-talented, but employed. This lead to an unspoken competition where they both tried to "out-boyfriend" each other until they finally talked it out.

awh yeah!!! send me whatever u got!

i do always love them both being like ..what does he see in me

i think i could also see these phases not really coinciding, but perhaps younger tweek feeling like a burden, with things like the events of "buddha box" reinforcing that in his mind. after all, he doesn't have decent or even remotely useful parents and craig sometimes takes on a sort of caregiver role, but he is also just a child

if you'll allow me to go off on a brief tangent, one thing that bothers me when people fixate on creek's alleged toxicity (and tweek's in particular) is the idea that craig's supportive because he's just naturally a rly good boyfriend, and tweek is his mentally ill little pet who oughta be a lot more grateful. NO! have these hoes ever seen craig soft before? craig wanting to help someone for the sake of it? why might he do that? what might he get out of that? perhaps a connection with someone who sees him as perfectly capable of empathy?

i think we've seen craig behave this way with tweek and tweek alone because tweek fills him with this urge to be empathetic and caring, to try to bridge their different communication styles. possibly he even develops a sort of need to be needed by tweek which could 100% become a super codependent dynamic (and i have a fic in progress exploring how it could lead to them breaking up, at least for some number of years)

but they could also work through it and things like a responsible adult in his life, a support group, medical/mental health interventions of some kind, and/or outside friends could all give tweek support he needs beyond the emotional support craig provides

so that leads me into your other hc—craig feeling like a failure because tweek has a job and hobbies/talents. this is something i can really see for college aged creek! imagine tweek's gotten through his rocky teen years having to live with those parents, and he's thriving in college, and craig wonders if he "needs" him at all anymore. i think it could be really sweet for him to remind craig that he's with him because he wants to be, not because he needs to be. i actually have something like this in a WIP where they decide to go to different schools for college and realize it was a horrible mistake and work to transfer to the same city, but craig's very insecure about how well tweek seems to be doing without him (when really it's that he doesn't have to be around his draining, emotionally abusive parents anymore!)

sorry this is so long, but i also really love the bit about them overcompensating. young tweek bringing craig cupcakes all the time to make up for how many panic attacks he's helped him through. craig's doctor being like Son you've got to stop eating so many cupcakes... your blood is 80% buttercream at this point. college tweek running out of space to store all the teddy bears craig mails him. constantly facetiming and texting him 'i love you honey', 'good morning babe' because he's scared to ask 'do you still need me', 'am i still useful and good' oh i love it so much

#asks #headcanons #sp creek #craig tucker #tweek tweak #sorry to talk about my WIPs so much i simply have so many #shipping discourse #south park

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group-oc-tournament · 5 months

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Round 1 - Match 19

Cursed Crew

(@redwineflowers)

Consisting of Alchemy Matheus Iritolva, Frenchie Lurette Delvado, Elanor Verna Alindis, Jack Wilfred Brevin and Callum Runar Mornicavi.

Who are They?

In a fantasy/steampunk esque world, 5 various flavors of criminals are forced to work together as a team, because they were all hired for an impossible heist. The heist goes horribly wrong, they realize the person who hired them is screwy and then they all decide to overthrow the government :) and despite being very different and untrusting of eachother, they grow very close and become best friends. They are also very messed up in one way or another. Now it's time to meet the crew ! Frenchie - 23 - she/they : A very good seamstress who works for nobles, incredibly sneaky. She is always listening in on conversation and is able to spy extremely well. She's seen way to much. A girlboss and probably the most level headed of the bunch. She used to date Alchemy, but they broke up due to the fact they had literally no romantic tension. The best thief, she can pickpocket almost anything, gathers info, tells everyone to shut up, and she makes sure they don't fall apart. Alchemy - 23 - she/he/they : A wizard, but not really, she just scammed her way into being apart of a council of magic by doing illusions and literally putting on "magic" shows. he can't actually do magic. He however can shoot guns and is also very good at working with magic and building things. They make their own guns and also bombs. Sharpshooter, demolitions expert, and professional charmer. Elanor - 22 - they/them : A very skilled fighter, especially with battleaxes. They were kicked out of their academy due to many accidental violent incidents. They don't blink much. They have a head in the clouds look to them and always sorta look like they're up to something, even if they aren't, it's just their face, I promise they're nice. The muscle, also is very good at scheming, even if their plans backfire sometimes, specifically they are good at coming up with combat plans. Jack - 19 - he/him : A student who got into a prestigious academy on a scholarship, but himself and his ideas weren't very well received and he ended up dropping out because of constant mockery. He's perceived as very timid and soft spoken. He has social anixety, but he's actually one of the most unhinged and enjoyable people to be around. He's very good at picking locks and breaking into places, aswell as disarming things. He also is very good with chemicals and poisons and has killed a room full of people with toxic gas... Callum - 24 - he/they/it : An ex agent of light, which is basically a secret service that works for the council that oversees the kingdom. He deserted because the council sucked and he disagreed with almost everything they did. Can kill you, but probably won't because it's very tired. They have an office job now, but left it to join this impossible heist. Office jobs are boring, heists are fun. The mastermind, knows how to have get each members strength to work with the others, he gets mad easily, but it's that calm terrifying rage. He's very protective of his crew, but he wont tell them that.

The Owl Gang

(@cliban, @radioactive-dragonlover, @wiz4rdtower, @citruslllad)

Consisting of Morise, Superbia, Somnus and Illuvies.

Who are They?

Imagine a sinister alien oligarchy but they're also the most toxic gay friend group you've ever met! Morise (they/them) is a ruthless dictator more interested in evil science than overseeing their outpost. They're a closeted theatre kid dragged into the friend group by virtue of everyone else being a theatre kid - They feel severely annoyed by interacting with the Owl Gang (But secretly will Always commit to the bit). Superbia's malewife (genderneutral). Superbia (she/her) is a bombastic and egotistical woman who does whatever she pleases with little to no regards for others. The kind of woman who calls you "darling" with a tone so sweet it feels like honey dripping from her mouth, but in a bad way. She adores messing with people and manipulating them with her charm and wits. She's surprisingly a tender, kind, and passionate lover, especially when it comes to her partner Morise, who she loves very much. Somnus (she/it) is a drowsy has-been who can only be dragged out of her lair by the promise of novelty. She's motivated solely by boredom, malice, or hunger, and hangs out with her friend Illuvies because of their shared love for doing bits. Depending on the day, her energy levels generally hover somewhere between "cat taking a nap in a sunbeam" and "sloth on half a Valium" Illuvies (he/him) is gay but in a misogynistic way. Tormented a toddler, severed numerous limbs and betrayed both sides of a war multiple times. A mole, a rat and a bitch all in one.

#poll #round 1 #match 19 #The Owl Gang #Cursed Crew

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galadhir · 6 months

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Another post in the tag of a villain who is my blorbo, saying basically that people who are villain stans don't understand the story right, they don't understand the villain's victims are people who deserve sympathy. That villain stans must be immoral ourselves because otherwise how could we love a character who had done so many horrible things?

And I'm like - you do understand that sympathizing with the characters who are drawn to be sympathetic is level 101 sympathy?

Yeah, you can empathize with and feel sorry for the human frailties of people who never did anything wrong. Great! That's good. It's good to have sympathy and empathy for good people.

But - and I'm going to go all religious here, because purity culture is supposedly based on Christian beliefs and I am a Christian - you've got to learn to be sympathetic and empathetic to the bad people too.

This is right there in our religion "Judge not, lest you be judged." "First take the plank out of your own eye before you try to take the speck out of your brother's." "Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord. I will repay." (Namely - it's not up to us humans to take revenge.)

Famously, Jesus stopped the people from executing an adulteress (a crime which carried the death sentence at the time) saying "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone," at which point the accusers slowly realized that they were not exactly guiltless themselves and slunk away.

We are in fact commanded to love our neighbours (where 'neighbour' means 'everyone living on this planet with us.')

And loving our neighbours sometimes requires accepting that people who have done horrific things are still worthy of the respect given to all humans by virtue of being human.

That's a really hard command to obey.

(Frankly we should expect the commands given by a superhumanly good Creator to be too hard for us. God is better than we are capable of being, and that's how it should be.)

It's really hard to look at someone in real life who has done something abhorrent and accept that they too are a person who deserves to be treated with full human rights and dignity.

It's hard to get over the very natural revulsion and anger that tells us it would be righteous to treat this sinner with cruelty in return.

But that would not be righteous at all. ("Do unto others as you would have them do to you.")

Fortunately we have fiction. We can use fiction to help us develop our empathy. The villains in fiction have not actually hurt anyone in real life, so it's safe to handle them. It's safe to figure out why they did what they did, and ask yourself - if you were in their position would you have done better?

Which is also a good question.

"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us." 1 John 18

Which means that (by God's standards) there is no distinction between good people and evil people. We are all just people. We all need grace and mercy.

And we can practice our understanding, compassion, empathy and mercy by loving our fictional villains in a similar way that God has loved us.

Maybe one day we will be called on to forgive a person in real life - to be compassionate and merciful to them - and it will have helped to have confronted the darkness in the heart of man already in our imagination.

Or maybe we'll just learn to be a bit more humble about ourselves while we also have some fun.

We're really not called to stop at Compassion 101. That's only where we start.

#what to call this #christianity and fanfic #anti purity culture #fandom discourse #villain stanning #why I don't think it's immoral to love a villain #progressive christianity

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grievedeeply · 1 year

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hello hello hello!! im so glad you're taking red dead reqs as I literally just got into the game and i'm obsessed!! <:0

may i have some soft Hosea moments? Like snuggling together to keep warm in colter? (gn reader please <3)

RAHHGGGGGG HOSEA MY DAD i love him so very much. absolutely a sweetheart. please enjoy <3 including platonic ones for my own enjoyment LOL but there are some romantic ideas too! i'm glad you're liking the game! i've been in love with these characters for so long... they are so special to me. especially john :")

gn!reader | no tws :)

soft hosea headcanons

this man. absolutely the best friend you could ever ask for. so understanding and so good at giving advice even if you didn't ask for it

he's the sweetest man in the entire world!! kind, protective, loving, understanding. he gets you when no one else does no matter what you might be going through

you swear he's lived 100 different lifetimes with how much he seems to know. it's nice, though. you always know who to go to whenever you're having trouble

if you have insomia or restless nights of any sort, hosea is by your side, no matter how tired he may be. invites you to a cup of tea and a story

he'll tell you about anything. his time before meeting dutch, the early days of the gang.. whatever you want to hear about

he insists he has a horrible singing voice but... definitely will sing you to sleep if he knows it'll help you

the warmest man alive. colter was a breeze with him by your side. with his arm constantly wrapped around your shoulders, you don't know how cold it truly is outside. he's good at keeping your focus on him

also really good at cuddling, just in general. paired with being warm, he knows how to make people feel comfortable. knows just where to put his hands to keep you feeling safe

he makes your chest feel all fuzzy. platonically or romantically, he has that effect on people :")

it's something about knowing you're safe with him around. he might not be the fastest gun, but his mind is more than capable of protecting the ones he loves. which includes you, of course

obviously... develops a major soft spot for you. he doesn't want the rest of the gang knowing about it but it's not like he's trying his best to hide it, either

he finds a lot of the things you ask for, saying he just ran into it while he was out or something, when it was clear he went looking for it to make you happy

if you develop romantic feelings for him.... he's so oblivious. he thinks he's too old for romance, and after bessie, he has trouble imagining a new relationship with anyone

he doesn't accept your feelings at first. not because he doesn't reciprocate, but because he's a bit afraid. he's a highly wanted man. he worries about the repercussions of that on you

you'll be the one doing the reassuring for once... for someone so smart he can be as dumb as a rock sometimes

he has such a kind and beautiful soul... the way he looks on the world is something entirely new to you. he sees people in a way no one else does, and it's helping you to open your eyes honestly

he sees the best in people, even despite the life he lives

if anyone says anything poorly about hosea (micah...) you will not hesitate to give them a piece of your mind

he tries to tell you to stop. it doesn't bother him, and it shouldn't bother you, either. but you can't let him go around talking about him in that way

he's one of the kindest people you've ever met. he gives everyone a second chance. even when they don't deserve one. it's more than what micah deserves, in your opinion

anyway, hosea shows his love through every single love language there is. he says he loves you so often, but it's really special whenever he expresses it physically too

he has touch a gentle touch, it's hard to picture him being an outlaw, someone as nice as he is. he has such soft hands, paired with a kind heart

he spends a lot of his spare time with you!! he indulges in your hobbies, expressing interest in everything you find yourself doing. he's genuine, too. he really cares <3

he's so good at reading you, you can't ever hide being upset from him

immediately by your side asking you what's wrong (or, if he thinks of you platonically, who broke your heart and who he has to get revenge on for it)....

he gives the best hugs... just picture it

he has so much love to give. it's a nice change of pace, honestly. he loves with all his heart, no matter what your relationship to him may be

he loves you with every bit of him there is :")

#red dead redemption 2 x reader #rdr x reader #rdr2 x reader #rdr2 #red dead redemption #red dead redemption x reader #red dead redemption 2

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swaps55 · 1 year

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Hi! I was rereading Fugue, and I was wondering if I could ask you a question. I think you’ve said before that Kaidan’s grief after Alchera was a dark thing and that the 2 years after changed him for good. If the opposite had happened - Sam was the one who survived Alchera instead of Kaidan - what would his reaction or grief be like? How would he have changed - into a colder, Saren-like figure (until a resurrected Kaidan shows up again someday like 2 years later because it would be too horrible otherwise D:)?

You can ALWAYS ask a question! Thank you for this one.

Fugue is ultimately a story about grief - the process of surviving it and healing from it. Kaidan is such a fantastic character to tackle it with, because I think his disposition lends itself so well to that arc. I didn't want it to be a story about suffering and pain, even though those things are an inextricable part of it. At its core, Fugue is centered around hope - grief is something you can come back from. You may not be the same person. Your life may not be what you imagined, but you're still here, and what you've built out of the ashes has meaning.

In Fugue, I wanted Kaidan to have the chance to rebuild himself and discover who he is outside of Shepard's shadow. I thought that was important for a character whose identity is so entwined with a person who is larger than life in so many ways.

It's a very different story if you switch their places. Now, we'll get a glimpse of what losing Kaidan does to Sam in the next story, which will be titled Mezzo and follows the events of ME2. But there are so many extenuating circumstances. Sam's been resurrected. Kaidan isn't dead, just estranged. Sam's got a lot of trauma to process and manage while being stripped of the tools he needs to manage them, and while he doesn't handle it well, it's hard to blame him.

But what if it were Sam who survived Alchera? What does that look like?

Sam, I think, is ultimately less emotionally resilient than Kaidan is. He thinks he can out-stubborn a brick wall. He is more detached by nature. When he's hurt, he shuts down emotionally and lashes out at the people who care about him. Kaidan does a lot to draw out his empathy and willingness to connect, because those things don't come naturally to him. He has to work at them. So in losing Kaidan, I think he loses those things, too.

I imagine that after Alchera, Sam would work himself to the bone, and make the Alliance and being a Spectre his entire world, because that's something he has control over. He'd regress back to where he was at the start of Cantata - an impressive soldier, but aloof and distant with no real investment in the things he does outside of, "there is a problem and I see the solution." Sam himself would hide behind Commander Shepard, the persona.

He'd hurt. He'd hurt, and with no way to make it stop, he'd want to make everyone else hurt, too. So you mix that detachment with cruelty born out of anger and hurt, and yeah, you've got a pretty good recipe for Sam becoming someone like Saren.

Anderson would try to pull him out of it, but Sam wouldn't tell him what he really lost, which would make that...hard. Because Anderson wouldn't understand what he's truly dealing with. And Anderson, despite all the positive influence he has on Sam, has never been good at reaching him when he's in a dark place.

So I think his best hope for putting the pieces back together is Liara, who understands him in unique ways even Kaidan doesn't. But Liara, too, struggles sometimes to separate Sam from Commander Shepard, because her fear of the reapers means she needs Commander Shepard. I think it would be hard for her to be what he needs. She would try - I just don't know if she would succeed.

So while Kaidan heals over the course of two years, I don't think Sam would. Kaidan may not have moved on by the time they see each other on Horizon, but he is moving forward. Sam, on the other hand, is just running in the direction that lets him keep moving, without caring what direction it is.

This also takes a lot of the complexity and conflict out of Horizon. Part of why Kaidan handles it badly is the unfairness of it. He spent two years clawing his way out of a hole, remaking himself from the ground up, re-defining who he is, and it's for nothing. Sam came back. He didn't have to do any of it. That takes some time to come to terms with and move past. But Sam? When you're drowning, you don't ask questions if someone throws you a lifeline. You just take it.

I think it's really fascinating that Kaidan, as the person with the better coping mechanisms, the stronger support network, and greater emotional stability makes for a much more complex and rewarding story than Sam's version of it would be.

Fugue is a look at how to find strength in yourself, which is something Kaidan needs to learn how to do. Sam has always been his source of strength, and without him, Kaidan has to look inward to find it. Whereas Sam has always tried to take on life alone, and learned how to find strength in others largely due to Kaidan's influence. So if you take him away, you put Sam back to square one. Alchera makes Kaidan in ways it would break Sam.

#swaps replies #Anonymous #opus!verse #'shoot it again sam' shepard #i hope this makes sense #i get a little excited about sam meta

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ask-spider-man-61610 · 9 months

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Specs, you’re a good spider, right? At the very least, you’re a hell of a lot better than I am. You don’t need to get down here, we’ll handle ourselves just fine. I need.. I need advice.

How do you steel yourself for the most horrible things you’ll ever see? I feel like a child to admit it but I’m finding.. difficult.. to move forward. I know what I must do to survive down here and for the most part, I was managing this just fine.

But something about my last encounter hit me in a way that I wasn’t anticipating. I recognize it from what I’ve seen from my father when he came back from the war; I believe the term for it is “combat fatigue”. Not a doctor by any means, but I’ve seen it in action for a long enough time to draw some connections to it.

But unlike my father, I don’t really.. have a place to rest. How do I convince the rest of myself to keep going in spite of this?

- @ask-percyparker

I wish there was an easy answer, Perce. I really do.

I've been in that position...a few times over my career. Or maybe a few hundred. I haven't really kept track. I understand the feelings of...of numbness, hypervigilance, lingering fear and anger and guilt...in my time period, it's not called combat fatigue anymore. Its official name is post-traumatic stress disorder. And, if you're very, very lucky, time and distance will eventually take some of the edge off.

I'm not lucky. But that's beside the point.

Methods of managing it--ignoring therapy as an option, because in your case it isn't--tend to be slipshod, and their effectiveness tends to vary. Sometimes the stuff I do works great, sometimes it's all but useless. When I was fifteen and my symptoms were just starting to get debilitating, Aunt May taught me some exercises with controlled breathing that I still use to settle myself during an episode. Talking to people I love and trust takes a lot of the weight off my shoulders...although, I'll admit, it takes some effort and bravery to make myself start those conversations. You've got Theo and MJ; allowing yourself to lean on them will help more than you can imagine, even though I know every instinct you have is terrified of being that vulnerable. It's hard, but it's worth it. Usually.

And to brace myself for the future?

...That's even harder. I'm not sure there is a good way to do it. But what I do is keep those loved ones close to my chest, and keep myself focused on why I put myself through this fuckery.

I was an awful, awful kid in my first few months as a vigilante; mostly just out there to vent my frustrations and get some photos to sell and ease that knot of guilt in my stomach about what happened to Ben. And because I was in it entirely for myself, those first few disasters hit harder than I think they would've now. I almost quit like a dozen times back then. But eventually I started to realize how many people my selfishness hurt, and how much I could genuinely help if I tried, and I started to understand my...my obligation to help where I could. My responsibility.

I won't say that understanding and accepting that responsibility made me a better person, because I'm not sure it did. But it did give me the strength to keep trying. To push forward and roll with the punches, because I wasn't just doing it for me anymore. I can't promise it'll do the same for you--but it might be a start.

#specs #spidersona #Percy Parker | Spider #ask

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scoonsalicious · 2 days

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Okay, I finally got around to reading the new parts as well as the asks and your responses, and first off, I just want to say I'm proud of you. Like truly. It takes so much strength to be able to fight through what you just experienced. Dealing with trauma will always be an uphill battle and it's going to be a bumpy road to say the least. but you're strong and brave so I have no doubt you'll get through it 🤍 I'm so glad you were able to find writing as a way to process things. It really does help us more than we think. I'm so so sorry that it happened. Sending you all the warm hugs i could give from the other side of the world 🤍

Now, onto the story which, is very heavy as you've warned us before. I mean things aren't in detail but still. You can just feel it. Sam being out of the picture was just so so bad. Obviously, he needed to because that is his nephew. And I know A.J. would be okay but God...not having him there is just, bad news. And it happened at the worst time possible too.

When I saw that Chloe has been "chosen" my heart literally ached. And I could feel Pocket's guilt because, how couldn't she be? They were in the same room together. They literally spoke with each other. You can't just stop the "what-if's" going through your head because there are so many things she could've done but didn't, and so many things she did that she shouldn't have that change the whole course. That's the killer part. So many possible outcomes going true your head and the would've, could've, should've's. But, unfortunately, there's not much she could do. She made a choice during the moment, a temporary solution which, unfortunately, didn't have the best outcome in the long run.

At first, I was hopeful that Chloe was going to be fine and that they'd just somehow taken her somewhere to be experimented on with Hydra wanting to make a new serum or something. So the way my heart literally dropped when I read the first part of Chapter 25. I just...I don't even have the right words. It's just horrible. And then I read her age? Fifteen? I had to put my phone down and take a deep breath. I just feel so devasted. Now if I'm already feeling all that, imagine what Pocket must've been feeling? She's literally living through it and she feels like she had a hand in what happened. It wasn't her fault, not at all. She could only control so much of that situation. She's a strong ass woman but she can't fight against those guys while fighting her own demons at the same time. There really wasn't much she could've done. But God, it's going to haunt her for the rest of her life. But the sad part is, no matter what she does, there's not much she can do to change things. She's just going to have to learn to live with that guilt. I know you really don't like Steve, but the line he said to Wanda in Civil War: "This job... we try to save as many people as we can. Sometimes that doesn't mean everybody. But if we can't find a way to live with that, next time... maybe nobody gets saved."

So her spiraling? It comes as no surprise. It's not healthy, but she's in too deep. She's just trying to find a way to numb everything and I can't blame her. Like, it's so easy for us to say oh just go through therapy, rehab etc. don't buy any drugs, don't to this, don't do that because were not the ones in it. But it's never that easy. I just...feel so sad and devasted by it all.

I know everyone's mad at Bucky and rightfully so. But, I am so so glad he's going to be back because yeah, Pocket hates him but at least we have someone who'd stop at nothing to protect her and make sure she's okay. You can't deny he cares about her and that he knows her well. So if there's ANYONE (besides Tony) who could at least snap her out of it for a moment, it would be him. I mean, nobody can pull Pocket out of her spiral apart from herself, but I think Bucky would be helpful in that at least. They're going to butt heads when they meet again but with Pocket's current situation and her mindset, I'm at least grateful that there's someone there to stop her from going even deeper into this hole. She's already off the rails, so I'm grateful that now she's going to have someone who's going to try his damnest to pull her back. Drag her (lovingly) if he has to.

Sigh. We're getting so close to the truth unfolding. I can't wait to see it all. Also saw a snippet of Chapter 26 and honestly, I really do see Bucky's growth (hence why I'm calling him by his name this time) and I can't wait to see more of it. As always, you're amazing. Be kind to yourself and don't forget to always take care of yourself. Lots of love!

— Jnon 🤍

Thank you, Jnon <3 I gladly accept and return your warm hugs from half a world away. They mean so much! Sometimes it's hard to see myself as anything other than broken and weak when I'm in the midst of my feelings, so I appreciate the reminder that healing from this kind of thing is a journey.

I really didn't want Sam to leave, but I needed Pocket to be at her absolute worst point, and alone. I felt like that was the only way she was going to be willing to accept Bucky back into her life. She doesn't want Tony to know what's happening-- she doesn't want to disappoint him, not when he had so much faith in her, so she's kept everything that's been going on from him.

AJ's gonna be alright. Poor kid is just a plot device for me, here. I feel bad, lol. He doesn't deserve it. In my head, he's being spoiled with ice cream and video games while he recovers, lol.

Pocket's gonna feel Chloe's loss for a long time, even beyond this fic, I'm sure. She set out to save girls like her, but instead, because of her selfishness and her perceived weakness, she got a girl killed. In her own mind, she's just as bad as everyone who hurt her growing up. Chloe was her, in a way, and Pocket failed her, and thus herself. Pocket's gonna mention later that it's like this cycle never ends. She could spend the rest of her life working to save women from a similar fate, but it will never be enough. But if she can help save even one woman, well, that's one woman who didn't have hope before. Pocket needed to be at her absolute lowest point so she could get her head out of her ass and fix herself so she can help others.

Funny thing about Pocket and Bucky-- she never hates him. She might think she does, but would actually make her life a lot easier if she really did. She loves him too much, almost.

#unwanted #jnon report

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scenetocause · 1 year

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i would love more of this pregnant max if you ever feel so inclined

(nsfw, mpreg, ambiguously trans max)

"I think it's a hangover, buddy. Like, I don't think we can jump to conclusions going on a podcast with Clem has magic fertility powers when there's a pretty clear explanation." Max groans, wishing Lando would stop talking about this. Or at least, do it quieter.

"Mmm," Lando's chewing his nails. "It's just you've been sick a few times and - I don't know, I guess you'd know best but I feel like... it's just a feeling."

"Yeah, Bob. So let me go back to sleep." Max rolls over, grabbing for Lando and shoving him back down into the sheets. "Be nice to me, I'm a delicate man right now."

"I'm gonna be the nicest," Lando promises, hand running over Max's back. "You're, like, honestly. I know we don't really - y'know - but I, you're really important to me."

"Fucking hell," Max snuggles closer, lets Lando scritch his scalp and feels the way Lando's unnatural body heat eases the slight nausea. "I didn't realise you were so jealous of Marcus."

After five months he doesn't exactly start to show, unless you've got your hand in his boxers and there's really only one person that does that but he does realise jeans aren't particularly comfortable anymore, switches over to stealing Lando's joggers. It's odd, he can feel little movements now sometimes, isn't imagining them anymore but his body looks virtually the same, which is kind of a relief.

As is knowing he's more than halfway through it. His silhouette might be unchanged but the swollen ankles and nausea he can do without. And as much as he's constantly telling Lando he's not fucking delicate he is annoyed by how much faster he gets tired, how sensitive he is to sound and lights suddenly, like Lando's fucking baby is transmitting all his weird tics to Max.

But then, it's their baby. Which they're going to have to explain, at some point but for now Max is fine with no one really knowing, only some wry comments about them really being inseparable when Max packs up his stuff (or lets people Lando's paid to pack it) and ships it to the south of France.

Lando is predictably gross about it, sticking his cold fingers under Max's hoodie so he can feel up the not-bump between Max's hipbones. Max has the simultaneously horrible and exciting feeling this isn't going to be the only time Lando manages to do this to him, which is nice because Max wanted kids, plural but also Lando's so into it he feels like he has to be a little bit grumpy about it, get Lando to make it up to him.

He does, with bubble baths and back rubs and letting Max watch his favourite films without a question and then barely taking the piss while Max is crying on him at the end of Notting Hill. By letting Max ride him, the pad of Lando's thumb over his clit, until they both come.

By month seven he does actually have to buy some larger hoodies, to hide it but so long as he keeps his shirt on no one really seems to notice. It just looks like he's getting fat, he guesses, curled half-on-his-side in the McLaren hospitality, waiting for Lando to get out of debrief.

He'd thought it would bother him more, doing this and maybe if it was obvious it would but now it's into the definite phase, a recognisable little human on the scans, he kind of likes it. Knowing his body's made something, brewed up him and Lando into someone new and exciting to meet.

They're gonna be cute, he knows it. Everyone's gonna be disgusted by how cute they are and Lando's gonna get another million Instagram followers.

He's vetoed any name in any way referencing the number four, that's a step too fucking far. As well as finding out the gender, the idea of it makes him squirm in a way he hadn't thought about for a long time. Fortunately Lando seems not to give a fuck about anything other than them both being healthy and also seems to get unstoppably horny every time he sees a scan, has mutated his general obsession with Max's body into a specific fascination with this.

Lando buries his head in Max's chest, pressed close along his side so that Lando's warm abs are against the bump and he must be able to feel them kicking. A DNF is never fun and Max is happy to hold him, hold them all together, feeling Lando's nose digging into his ribs.

Because Lando has stupidly huge hands it only really takes one of them, touch light and delicate, to span most of the bump still. Max figures (if he's honest, is hoping, never keen about pain at the best of times) maybe their baby will take after Lando and be miniature until they're eighteen or so. A long time after Max has had to extract them from his body, at least.

Like he's thinking the same thing, Lando shoves himself further up, rubs his dick, inevitably, against Max's hip and says. "I dunno how you're - do you still want to?"

Max shrugs. "It's supposed to help, apparently."

"Really?" Lando sounds deeply cynical. "I mean, how would that-"

"I don't know, mate. But yeah, not like it's easy for me to reach now and you've been away for like two weeks." He can feel his cheekbones burning but, honestly, it's felt like a long time and a man has needs.

"Oh," Lando wriggles round to be on his knees almost frighteningly fast. "Fuck, yeah, I can - one second."

Logistically it's not totally straightforward, Max having to cant his hips back on a pillow so Lando has more room but otherwise it's as good as ever. Maybe even better than normal, Max ultra-sensitive to where Lando's tongue's lapping at him sloppily.

"You taste," Lando mumbles, before diving back in again and not really finishing his sentence. "It's so good."

"You just love it," Max manages to hiss back, before he stops thinking at all and just enjoys Lando's fingers inside him, tongue on his clit. It's not a surprise, in retrospect, that Max's sloppy approach to birth control of just assuming it wasn't really going to happen got taken apart by Lando's enthusiasm for getting inside him.

They fuck with Max on his hands and knees, Lando's fingers spanning his chest to play with his nipples and Max doesn't know if he really believes jizz helps hurry up labour but he can imagine if anyone's did it'd probably be Lando's. Just his luck to fall in love with the bloke with magic balls or whatever.

He decides not to do it with any fanfare, just switches his PC on, baby in one arm and starts the stream. Waits until there's a thousand or so people on, titles it might be streaming less and takes a deep breath before he switches his camera on.

"Yeah, so." He suddenly can't think what to say, even though he'd gone through it in his head so many times. The whirl of his chat is distracting, trying to catch the words and then Kit wriggles a little bit, jogs him out of the trance.

"Yeah, I've - well, not just me, Bob was involved - had a baby." He glances down the responses. "How long ago? How old does Kit look? Babies are pretty little, though - not long."

"Yes, I'm gonna bring the baby to races. No, just me and him, no girlfriends. Yeah, we live in Monaco now, it's easier for us all. No, we're not married. Not yet. Yeah, the baby's name is Kit."

Right on cue, Kit makes a snuffly little noise and Max is distracted for a second. There's, it turns out, very little quiet as emotionally compelling as looking at the sleepy face of your three-week-old baby and it's honestly pretty embarrassing how much time he spends literally just doing that but it is what it is.

"But yeah, maybe not much streaming for a bit. Got a lot going on, some getting used to it and that. Yeah, Bob's helping - he's been really good, he's at the gym now. No, he's still annoying, just like. He helps."

Max can't stop himself yawning, Kit mirroring it with a soft, babyish noise that makes him melt inside. "Alright, nap time for both of us. Yeah, I'll post baby pictures. Bye chat, love you."

When he turns around, Lando's standing in the doorway. It's not where Max had expected him to be, genuinely thought he'd gone to the gym and he raises an eyebrow at realising Lando's been watching him, instead.

"I missed you." Lando doesn't even look apologetic about it, which is fine because it's Jon he needs to say sorry to, really.

"Alright, buddy." Max stands up, juggling Kit against himself. "You coming for a nap?"

"Yeah." Lando wraps his arms round them both, kisses Max's forehead and then the baby's. "Then I wanna make you dinner and eat you out."

Max rolls his eyes. Of course he fucking does but Lando can actually cook pretty well these days and he's not gonna argue with the other part.

Lando sleeps in his arms, cheek against Max's chest and snoring slightly. Their bodies still fit together perfectly, even after making a third one, snuffling in the crib at the side of the bed.

#emptyhalf fic

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notmorbid · 1 year

Text

the interestings, pt. 2.

dialogue prompts from the interestings by meg wolitzer.

why would you think that's okay?

tell me everything i need to know, because i feel like i know nothing.

i completely believe in you, and i'm not the only one who does.

nothing you do is ever good enough, according to you.

who was it who made you like this, your mother or your father? or both?

i guess that's always been the case, but i've been naïve about it.

imagine just disappearing one day and never being seen again. who does that?

we had no idea what we were dealing with at the time. we were kids. we were idiots.

just because we don't talk about it doesn't mean it isn't there.

isn't knowing always better than not knowing, generally?

sometimes i have trouble distinguishing what should be kept as a thought.

help. my values are being kidnapped.

keep what i've told you to yourself.

time to get a lawyer.

i have a bad headache. i think i'm going to die.

you're an atheist. who would you pray to?

there's never any miracles. the story always ends the same way.

i've been trying to get a handle on you all night.

i can't tell if you're flirting with me.

you're adorable. i even like your anxiety.

there are some things in the world that are just not about you.

what kind of help do you think i need?

doesn't everyone deserve a chance to live in the world and not be hidden away?

i just felt so sad. i was overwhelmed by the futility of everything.

i have to tell someone, and you're the only one.

i can't bear to look deeply. inevitably you run into horrible things.

i can't sit still. i have an itch inside my body.

it's been this thing we don't really talk about openly. it was complicated.

i'm stubborn about my love, stingy about it. it comes and goes at the worst times.

you seem unburdened somehow.

maybe the best you can ever do is just cause less harm.

i never get to help you. you're always helping me.

there's nothing worse than money anxiety.

i can't believe i'll never see ____ again.

you do have a good memory.

i should have listened to you. i should always listen to you.

i don't want to sound like a therapist.

i think i deserve a moment of big honesty here.

if you're picking up on something, it's just that i feel kind of sad.

if everyone's an artist, then no one is.

it's good to have principles, but you have to adapt to the times.

closure, that impossible thing.

everyone seems like someone i sort of know. like people you see in a dream.

it's just so hard to think of you not being here.

sex can be love, or at least a very good distraction.

i don't know if i'm happy yet. i really have no idea.

do you have any idea what it's like where i live?

i feel like i've been swimming back to this place, all this time.

will you be okay? i do not mean in a cosmic sense.

people can't get enough of what they've lost, even if they don't want it anymore.

you're like a kid with milk. you've practically got a wine mustache.

you've never made me tell you things. you've never made me confess anything.

i don't know what you think you've done, but i can't believe it's irreparable.

that's a terrible story, i'm really sorry. and i'm sorry i never knew about it.

who are you? give me back my real ____.

a lot of time passed. that's mostly what happened. time.

the world will probably wear your kid down. you shouldn't.

#rp prompts #rp prompt #dialogue prompt #rp memes #rp meme

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