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#because thats the whole reason i went down that path in the first place is i just felt dead all the time
megabuild · 1 year
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been thinking 💭 about their time spent as worlds most annoying students
lore dump LOOK OUT
- i will make a proper explanation for the worldbuilding i have for empires one day but basically all thats necessary is that its set in a high fantasy world separate from any other smp, i consider most smps being set on the same "planet" i guess? (special thanks to rendog for making me have to clarify that.) but at different times so empires s1 takes place fairly early, a time similar to the renaissance period for us.
- pix and fwhip knew each other before the series though because as said above They went to school together! About ten years before season 1 is set. Specifically a very prestigious academy in the city they both grew up in, it's more like a university than a school, they're both young adults when they enroll.
- fwhip is studying alchemy not just out of the love of it but also to follow in his father's footsteps (his relationship there is. not great but that's another ballpark) while pix is studying astronomy which in this world is a very important and magical study! the people of this region believe the stars and planets can help predict future events and disasters, so talented astronomers are basically like prophets. he doesn't actually have any prophetic visions or anything though.
- pix has a whole thing i'll get into some other time that basically means his ability to harness and use experience/magic is limited. most humans aren't as naturally predisposed as some other species but pix is especially Not good at this. but he's very studious and wants to learn all he can about magic even if he can't use it, so he's a model student
- fwhip on the other hand has natural disposition for magic due to having elvish genes, and is a bit of a slacker tbh, not because he doesn't care but because of bad past experience with educational environments.
- the two of them meet because they have a handful of classes that overlap. Don't really get along at first (quite badly actually though I'm considering changing that LMAO) but they end up becoming friends and eventually falling into dating yayyyy great awesome who clapped.
- fwhip has bigger dreams though. he wants to become Thee royal alchemist and it's sort of in his game plan that pix will become the royal astronomer even though pix... Isn't really that certain about astronomy as a career path at all. He has a family business that he might need to go back to but more importantly for him he just sort of wants to slow down and focus on rn!! Their relationship ends up falling apart for a lot of reasons but this is one of them.
- I say falls apart but it never actually has a defined end lol fwhip just. Leaves one day before he even graduates because he gets offered a very lucrative position that he can't really say no to. He leaves a letter but he never says bye and pix will hold a grudge to this for over a decade.💙
- their time at the academy is probably the happiest years of their relationship (unless i decide to say fuck it and give them a semi happy ending) and almost definitely the happiest years of fwhip's life. they are the most annoying bitchy gay couple u know. they pull so many pranks (pix has always been a lover of those and fwhip only enabled him in taking them to extreme levels) and generally are quite sweet at times even if its not always clear like. how committed fwhip actually is (he loves pix! he's just allergic to commitment and showing feelings without backtracking to make a joke after)
- on their designs there's not much to say, fwhip cuts his hair shorter including his little horn tufts and generally doesn't let it get long enough for the green to show cause he's trying to be more cool and professional. (Later on he actually starts dying it to make sure no green shows which is fake as hell of him but anyway) Pix bears a striking resemblance to recap!pix which doesn't really mean shit other than he is his great x10 peepaw uncle twice removed and ithought it was cute. Fwhip bought those earrings for him which I think I've posted about before somewhere. Their outfits are sort of lame cause I made them up in five seconds just so I could draw something orz I don't think the academy had any strict uniform though pix probably did wear gloves due to working with magic and fwhip definitely never wore suitable gear for working with highly dangerous chemicals
- tldr blows them up in my mind
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celestial-citrus · 2 years
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ok so that sounds totally rad but unfortunately even though I love viddy games I am terrible at all of them and ive heard hk is SUPER hard so I'd probs die too much to get to the cool story 😂
ouuughh yea it's pretty hard. people who do no-hit or no death runs terrify me. i dont think im ever gonna try steel soul. (steel soul is like hardcore mode, one life permadeath deal)
well, any other lore i can think of is: before she went into her deep sleep, one of the three "dreamers" i mentioned before said she would only do it if he gave her a child, so PK and her had the one character hornet together. (she's the pointy one with the pinkish red cloak) so she's half sibs with ghost (the tiny dude you play as) and the hollow knight (the really tall pointy one).
there's another character you run into every so often named quirrel. he's very inquisitive and friendly, but he's still skilled with a nail. (nails are the weapons most of the bugs seem to use, you get to upgrade yours throughout the game.) he was the apprentice to one of the other dreamers monomon she was like a knowledge keeper of sorts. he wandered out of the kingdom and lost his memory (as all bugs do apparently when they leave hallownest) and he came back later and you meet him.
my favorite place in the whole game is the city of tears, the music and the whole vibe is so melancholy and sad? like that's a huge reason i love the game, the worlds already over and everything is empty and gone. you only see and hear echoes of what used to be. :\ the city is raining perpetually and it's a deep shade of blue, the architecture is pretty too.
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i like to stand in front of the statue and listen. it's very peaceful. i have the top pic as my lock screen.
bro idk the game gets me so emotional, it like touches a specific part of my soul. it's beautiful. (id highly suggest listening to the whole soundtrack on spotify or whatever platform you use. ive joked w myself if my story ever got some sort of adaption id like christopher larkin to score it. lolol as if)
one part of the game i haven't really done is the pantheon of hallownest, it's like... you fight the bosses you already have again but... worse. and harder. also the path of pain, it's a really difficult platforming uh, puzzle/map i guess. you get a special cutscene when you complete it. i haven't gotten far at all in it. 🥲 i really want to complete it though.
the bosses are pretty difficult, but once you really get the pattern down pat and get a set of charms you like to work with, it's a lot more tolerable. speaking of that, you can acquire these things called charms which give/boost certiain abilities. you have a limited amount of "charm notches" to fill. i think the ones i like best are quickslash (well, makes your nail quicker), weaversong (gives you little weaver ((spider)) buddies who can damage enemies for you, and sharp shadow. (you gain the ability to dash through things, and equipping this charm makes it so you can damage them too.)
my first round playing HK was a disaster because i have never really played these kind of platform-y boss fight games before. just getting out of the first tiny area in the flipping game was a chore. but then i worked my way up and have beaten one of the hardest bosses twice, so thats... good. i suppose..
oh another thing i should mention if you have options in the game for different endings, depending on the things you pick up, enemies you defeat, and how you fight HK at the 'end' of the game. there's technically like, six endings in total? like you can either kill HK and absorb the infection yourself, enter HK's mind and kill the radiance, have hornet assist you in killing HK and getting you both sealed inside- etc etc.
one sad little part of the game is on one area, the crystal caverns, you meet this little miner bug myla. she sings to herself while she mines, but visiting her over time as the game goes you can see her getting taken over by the infection until eventually at one point she attacks you and you have to kill her :(
one challenge you can do is this pkace called the colosseum of fools. its has 3,,, uhh,, levels i guess you can do. i've only done the first 2, ive always gotten overwhelmed right before the end of the third one. you get geo (hallownest's currency) and some other rewards, like a piece of pale ore you need to upgrade your nail. it's basically wave of enemies and the terrain changes to make things difficult, like having you jump on platforms and putting spikes on the ground.
anywho, a really good person to watch on youtube is mossbag, he does a lot of lore videos, and there's a mod called hollow knight randomizer which is reallllyy funny to me. i'm probably forgetting a lot too lololol
thanks for asking me about stuff 🥺💗
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wormstar · 3 years
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i was going thru ur blog and u have good posts about ableist aus and i was wondering - what if in the aus the requirements for warriors were different? Like instead of having to fight jay only hunts? Would the muddling of roles still be ableist? In a Tree-like situation?If its not presented in a "work super hard to get what you want" and more in a "yeah they can decide what he wants to do". This is mostly for jay (and cinder) specifically because they had desires to be warriors yet were forced to be medicine cats because of ableism (ig this can apply to briar but i just truly cant remember oots that well and i havent read her death). I am asking because i am still trying to unlearn the ableist mindset that i grew up with. Feel free to ignore this ask and thnx!
hey yeah thank you for asking! took the opportunity to write up more general thoughts on rewrites as a whole and i went over why exactly theyre ableist hopefully that provides a better perspective
i think the major thing to keep in mind is that the structure of the clans is very abled centric and overly ignorant of inner community work (for example dens are only solidified or altered when either the area takes damage/the clans grows wrt population) theres a fixation on marking territory and starting fights and whatever with other clans which is whats expected of most warriors to partake in. to fix those implications in any fanwork youve really gotta knead into them and understand the nature of their ableism....its not just a problem with cats being barred from being warriors its the whole occupation and the standard its held to, so to speak (+ that fits into general clan society being flawed but eh thats another thing and also its easy to branch out into thought about)
going to stress other disabled people might have other solutions to how disabled cats are received this is just how i like to think of things
first i think its kind of interesting to examine discrepancies between disabled cats in canon as somewhat of an indicator of clan attitudes and leaders and whatnot. like i think you could get something interesting by regarding lets say deadfoot in windclan and cinderpelt in thunderclan who both have bad legs yet had different experiences with them in clan life. if you wanna go a step further comparing generations like lilywhisker and deadfoot or cinderpelt and jayfeather (+ the consideration of how congenital disabilities are regarded) can also make things interesting and just give you an idea of what to do. having the clan systems stray from a clear-cut common attitude both gives you more freedom for different approaches + adds to worldbuilding anyway. imo boiling down clan society to perfect utopia just gets boring but you can have imperfections in the system that depict the disabled experience just fine. just be careful with them and the way they come across yeah?
(real quick as an in between. god just dont refer to cats/their injuries as crippled. it still happens somehow)
im a little ambivalent on the idea of creating a ‘special role’ for disabled cats to be thrown into. cause then thats a repeat of canon medicine den really. its like ‘oh youre disabled youre instantly discarded into the x role pit’ i think just adding substantial in-universe changes to the warrior rank itself (vagueness is fun actually) or expanding on ‘warrior types’ rectifies the othering angle. ‘othering’ as a whole is just as bad as the ‘exception’ archetype people run for most warrior aus i want to state that clearly. effectively if youre gonna introduce roles that dont depend on fighting or hunting or both make sure theres abled cats who have them too. like say you want a camp-based role where a cats job is to fix dens or one where they help in the nursery, its far easier for a cat who cant run to manage those but also have some cats who are physically capable of doing other ‘tasks’ do the same thing for personal reasons
the tree comparison is interesting honestly cause i guess you could just give a cat a particular thing to do as a nonfixed position. and roles accordingly being made for a cat to fill until they cant and the positions done away with afterward. but youve gotta do it carefully so you dont fall into othering as ive said. id avoid something like that personally i just dont like the quality of ‘well theyre not a warrior (the most noble/useful concept in cat society) theyre actually some other thing’
in general giving disabled cats agency and choice is the best thing you can do. whether this means them deciding on tasks they can do themselves or picking a certain kind of warrior to be or asking for an assistant to help them out when they do stuff. the way you wanna pull it off again depends on my first question of “how does the relevant part of your warrior cat world treat disabled cats already”
very important point, the majority of the ableism also comes in the form of character narratives and not just the structure of the world itself. like think for a bit why the writers decided jayfeather shouldve been forced to be a medic or why briarlight got killed off early etc etc. characters ‘wanting’ to be like the abled ideal and still being bitter about not fulfilling that years down the line are just part of the ableist storylines. if youre abled id literally say just do away with those sadstuck ‘i wanted to be a warrior!’ moments. if you really want to id say pull a cinderpelt or a shadowsight where a cats time in the medicine den started their fascination with medicine and they switched to that path due to personal intrigue. id say a more interesting and realistic angle to it is having a disabled cat who found fulfilment in doing something else besides being a warrior becoming bitter about their entire clan ‘mourning’ how theyll never fight again or giving them the pretence of being a warrior being the best thing you can do.... it depends on the character really
this is just a very basic disability thing but stray from the whole ‘useless/dead weight’ way of regarding disabled characters. like dont place their worth on how well they service a clan or not theyre still deserving of shelter and whatnot. you dont need to justify a cats existence or usefulness by going ‘well they may be blind but their sense of smell is excellent so we keep them around’ or whatever its just no good
last thing i can think of is like. dont disregard how a cats disability affects them. like its fine that briarlight cant fight (or even hunt major types of prey) she doesnt need some convoluted method that lets her do that. there are like a dozen other warriors hunting and fighting and theres present value and enjoyment in the stuff she does around camp. she doesnt have to be brightheart 2 its ok
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ravenadottir · 3 years
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Hear me out: headcannons about Bobby growing old with mc🥺 (I needed some fluff T-T)
no no no no no, you can’t just come in here and do this to me!! that’s so wholesome! i think i’m gonna have to divide this in decade marks, and maybe stop at the 30 year mark? i can do a part II later. 🤔
‘10 year mark’
the ‘mckenzie’ brand has expanded to restaurants, bars and bakeries all over the uk
the bars are considered a hot spots in the big cities. pictures of young ‘paisley cuddle’ are scattered on the walls, along with the pics from the villa’s parties, to set the theme
the restaurants have bobby and his experiences with famous chefs, like jake ‘sweetcheeks’ wilson, mary berry, gordon ramsey, wolfgang puck.
the bakeries however have the pictures from the time bobby went on the bake off show and won.
there’s small town models of the bakeries/restaurants that are seen as ‘family diners’
you and bobby already have two kids, 4 years apart from each other. in my head bobby is the type to have them earlier so they can live their best life together, have fun in the kitchen or in the backyard playing ball.
he loves throwing birthday parties every year, and of course, baking the cake. to which year is a different theme. “babe, you take care of the decorations and the details i’m definitely gonna forget, and me?” he puffs his chest holding a whisk. “i’m the cake guy.”
bobby is the reason why the kids love the parties so much. he’s the type of parent that goes on the slider with the kids, jumps with them in the bounce house, starts the water balloon wars…
the parents are so thankful for him since he’s pretty much the one who keeps an eye on them at all times.
usually, he’s waking up early every day because it became a habit since his hospital times. he never really shook that habit. so he prepared breakfast, takes the dog out, while you wake the kids up to eat and rush them to school
the dad that takes two different cameras and a phone to film and take pictures during his kids’ public presentations, games, recitals and science fairs “dad, one phone is enough” “yeah, but your dad needs backup! i’m from the 90′s darling. i can’t be any different” he says, shrugging with a grin.
you guys have a small house on the outskirts of glasgow or london, depending on who won the bet you had when you got married.
you’re pregnant again. entirely unplanned and now bobby can’t stop crying,. he always wanted three kids.
‘15 year mark’
a third child came three years ago, which made you consider a much more peaceful place to buy a house. and a bigger one for that matter.
bigger bakyeard means more people and their kids playing around the lawn, as bobby and gary grill sausages, making stupid jokes about it, and you and the girls have drinks shaking your heads.
you and bobby are gary’s kids’ godparents
ibrahim can’t come, he’s to busy making mad money on brand deals. noah is calming the kids down, by reading something in the living room, while bobby shakes a cocktail for the tired parents.
gary gives you a new couple of puppies, because the dog you had has unfortunately passed away. (sorry!)
your first kid is just turning 13 and being a little pain in the ass. but they like their uncles and aunties so they will actually raise their heads from *inser new device that will replace phones*
you guys travel in your car, to spend a week in cabins, fishing, playing ball, having picnics close to the lake
bobby always throws at least one of the kids in the water, before jumping in and splashing everyone. “bet you can’t do better than that, babe…” he says to you, raising his brows suggestively. “watch me, mckenzie.”
summer time and the lake became a tradition since it was the first place you and him spent a holiday alone
the employees that attend to you in hotels refer to you as “the mckenzie’s”
in the city, you have a trustworthy babysitter that will spend the night so you and bobby can have some time alone
he surprises you with dates and flowers out of nowhere
early nights are made for you and bobby to help the kids with homework
at this point, bobby is invited to be a special guest in cooking/baking competitions in the uk
and to have a “masterclass” of hiw own, where he mostly credits you for the idea of expanding, the execution of the administrative plans and how to actually expand a business. “i only do the cooking. she’s the genius behind the money.” he laughs while crossing his legs during his online course.
‘20 year mark’
kids’ sad times. graduations are happening. the youngest is entering third grade, the other one is in uni, far from home. “did you have to choose something so far from your old man?” “dad… of course! how else would i have a ‘paisley cuddle’ phase?” they respond, laughing. “i should’ve never told you thats story! now you’re having ideas!” “relax dad. everything is gonna be fine!” the middle one is entering high school and their rebellious phase.
bobby follows through with his part of the deal when you got married, by wearing something ridiculous to embarrass your kid at their graduation. “dad, you look like a hawaiian drug dealer.” “ i know,” “oh, so it wasn’t dark when you got dressed? mom!” “what can i say, your dad doesn’t care for blacks and blues.” “yeah, right…”
professionaly, bobby has a renowned signature dish, plenty of new ideas for the future, like school and courses.
the house is the same you bought five years ago, but now, it’s mostly parents getting together for barbecues, cocktails, movies and game nights
the younger children stay in the tv room upstairs
‘25 year mark’
your second child didn’t go to uni, and decided to help out on the family business. they always felt like this was the life for them and couldn’t wait to finish school to start.
bobby wanted them to go to school to learn everything they could “but dad, you didn’t, and you know so much.” “oof, they got you there, babe.”
you have a second wedding ceremony and a second honeymoon
bobby has a few grey hairs popping through his dreads
he’s still wearing colorful shirts and girls on social media call him ‘daddy’
he’s been invited to cook for the queen (yes, she’s still alive)
you see your friends a few times more a year now.
your third child is going to uni, to follow a career path you never imagined they would, but you’re proud of them
you decided to sell the house, that’s so big now, and find a smaller one that still has an extra bedroom for when your oldest comes to stay with their partner
bobby cracks dad jokes now, and according to gary, he picked them up from him “sure, gary, ‘cause you’re the only man on the planet who tells dad jokes” “stop bickering! you’re like an old married couple.” you say, slapping their arms playfully
‘30 year mark’
your first child just had their first child
“you’re a grandpa, bobs!” gary slaps him on the back, picking up a box of cigars that they will share with noah and ibrahim.
“can’t believe i’m this old.” “if you’re old, what am i?” you ask him, folding your arms on your chest. “beautiful?” he responds with a clear guilty expression.
‘things that would happen at all times during this entire journey’
bobby would sing to the kids every night
you would read them bedtime stories, taking turns to do the voices
it’s a tradition to cook together on special occasions, no matter what happens. the three kids, you and bobby would always spend the day listening to music, talking about life, slicing, sauteeing, mixing, measuring. it’s a tradition that will never die
when your grandkids come around, they will be the the ones resposible for measuring
drawings that your kids do in school akways have extra colors on bobby’s outfits. his name also has more than three colored letters
bobby has taught your kids how to play the guitar
rainy afternoons were known as “dad’s baking afternoons”
you and bobby had a hard time to find a compromise between being friends and parents.
open conversations with your kids, about everything. they knew what to expect in the world.
bobby’s parents would visit, to spend a whole weekend and share stories of his childhood, as yours would too
family vacation always had a ‘car trip and singing along to the radio’ type of tradition as well
your oldest now takes their child for family vacation in the same spot you and bobby used to
twice a year you guys rent a place for the family to have some bonding, even after they get married (or not)
“your dad is the finest pillow fort architect in the uk”
camping in the backyard when you had to cancel a trip
you’re in charge of coaching and playing sports in the back of the house while bobby relaxes under the sunlight “i was never very athletic”. he’s the empire
*these are the ones on the top of my head. i must’ve left dozens behind :/
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jaminjims · 4 years
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foreign bts 8th member {imagine}
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anon request: Hi! I love your imagines!! Can I request a relationships with the members or life of a 16 year old foreign 8th member with ot7? headcanon or imagine (whichever you feel like) thank you!!!
a/n: thank you so so much for requesting bub! i loved writing this one (even though it is a little rushed) it made me think differently about some aspects of idol life, especially when looking at it from a foreigners point of view. but i really appreciate you anon, you will forever by remembered as my first requester so i really hope you enjoy this one love! ♡ 
pairing: platonic bts x foreign gender neutral!reader (i do have you refer to the older members as hyung though) 
genre: not gonna lie, this one is pretty angsty because it deals with my experiences of how the kpop community reacts to foreign idols/young idols (that being said, not everything will be completely accurate!) but don’t worry! there are still some fluffy moments (the members just love you so much and want to protect you from the world) 
warnings: bullying, loneliness, unhealthy coping mechanisms and destructive mentality 
words: 2.6k
[disclaimer: when writing idol aus, i will only be focusing on the struggles of the reader, not of the idols themselves because i don’t personally know what struggles they go through and how they handle them.] 
~**~
you were the youngest, and that really sucked sometimes 
like for the fact that the members practically hovered over you and made sure that you were doing your school work correctly and actually completing it rather than putting it in the garbage disposal (which might've happened before) but hey! all the other members were pretty much finished with their schooling so it wasn’t fair the you still had to do yours 
you have made that point multiple times only for the others to shut it down because you could basically make pockets with how full of holes that logic had
or when they fussed over you a little to much, “y/n, you’re not too stressed right?” “you’re sleeping enough right, maknae?” “here eat this, it’ll help you grow.”
you also found it hard in the beginning to really connect with anyone too. the drastic age difference between you and the others was intimidating and it didn’t help that you joined the group three years after they first debuted so everyone was pretty much like family and there you were, kinda just stuck in group that you felt like an outsider in 
not to mention that you painfully stood out from them because for god sake’s you weren’t even korean 
they didn’t know how to approach you either though. you were (still are) young and stubborn and had almost too much energy that you didn’t know what to do with 
and even putting the group problems aside, school was also very difficult for you
your parents abruptly moved you to korea when you were young because of an amazing job opportunity so you were thrust into a schooling society that wasn’t the best 
hell, you didn't even know korean the first two years you spent there 
you were just... different in so many ways and that’s hard on a growing child. some of your first memories were of children laughing and pushing you because you ‘looked weird’ and ‘couldn't speak.’ 
and you pretty much had to deal with that kind of treatment all throughout middle school and even a little bit of high school (even after you had learned korean) 
it was difficult for you to really be accepted by a society that would always see you as an outsider 
so you grew up a rebellious angsty teen who was hard to really connect to because you were just so used to deflecting others opinions of yourself 
and you just so happened to have a passion for dancing and singing (you were also pretty good at rapping) and that was enough to have bighit take a chance on this kid who was barely passing school 
despite what everyone said about training and all the complaints about it, you actually loved it 
you thrived in the type of environment where you had to constantly push yourself to be seen because you had always been pushed aside for how you looked and how you talked 
sure, you missed your parents a whole lot and being a preteen only magnified that feeling, but in this dance studio, in this recording studio, is where you could really stand out in the best way possible and make an impact 
you would show all the people that it was ok to be different, that you could still make it in a society that prioritized their beauty standards and had a set precedent for how you had to look 
you were going to be the one to break stereotypes and actually do something   
but it was because you were pushed so hard growing up, that you set ridiculously high standards for yourself and because of your mentality, if you didn’t reach those goals then you would practically hate and loathe yourself until you pushed yourself to do better 
you grew to have this close looped mentality that was ridiculously unhealthy, but as long as you could prove yourself and succeed, right?
it was that mentality that placed you on bts and when you got the announcement that holy shit, you were going to be the eighth member? you had cried for the first time since you started training
and even though it was a group that was already formed, you went in the confidence in yourself that you would make your group members proud
but that brought the age difference back into play. it had always been the older kids that had picked on you, and you were defensive at first 
it made you all the more motivated to seek their approval though, to make sure that they had no reason to see you as different from them, despite the way you looked and how old you were
and it was probably that fire in your eyes that drew them in
you were this little stubborn ball of energy that would concur anything in your path and still push yourself to do more 
it was oddly through school work (the dreaded work) and your age that brought you guys closer 
they could tell when you were struggling to get work done, and losing sleep over it. it would be the little things that gave it away, like you leaving your toothbrush out or you not putting up the clothes that were washed 
and they each saw themselves in you; burning determination, ready to go up against anything. refusing to ask for help even though you needed it 
so it started with namjoon
he would look in your school bag while on break in dance practice and write the answers to some of your school work on sticky notes and then put them back in your bag 
you would find them later on and frown but accept the help anyways because you really were struggling 
and then it would be jimin leaving you snacks in your room with encouraging notes and you would be lying if you said that didn’t help you through some tough times (you still have the notes today, but no one needed to know that)
and sometimes there were playlists that would just kind of show up on your phone that were made for relaxation and studying and something in you knew that it was yoongi’s doing 
and overtime, through the tiny gestures, they broke down your walls and you let them see a side of you that no one really ever got to see because of the circumstances that you grew up in 
but you were still stubborn, and refused to accept their help if they asked for it directly. which actually led to more fights than you would think
they would scold you for working yourself to hard and you would say “no, i need this exercise.” to which would lead to actual demands from them and refusals from you because its your goddamn mentality working at your confidence again 
right after you were officially announced as the eighth member, that’s probably when your personality shifted the most 
remember when i mentioned about how they fuss over you too much? this was the main reason why 
your looks. it always had to boil down to your looks and it was different when it was only school bullies making the taunting, but when your face was up for debate by the media, is when you got really fired up 
“bts adopts an outsider?” “it’s called k-pop for a reason, go back to your own country.” “is this seriously happening right now? i’m un-stanning.” “wth, y/n’s like, five. thats gross.”
it was these comments and articles that really got to you, but somewhere along the lines it wasn’t just you anymore, it was about your members and what they had already built for themselves  
you had let yourself start caring for them because they treated you like an equal and now you were only hurting them 
they noticed, when you started to spend more time at the gym and studio and they were informed that your grades dramatically dropped because you were so hyper focused on getting better that you were ignoring your own needs 
it was jungkook that finally said something to you after about two weeks of almost radio silence because goddammit he had actually gotten used to your presence and you couldn’t just leave because he would miss you to much 
they all would 
they thought that you would lash out at them when they confronted you about it, but what you did surprised them and you cried for the first time ever in any of their presences
because these people, your hyung’s, where suffering from the backlash that you created and you could see how it was affecting them and it seemed like all the trust and all the hard time spent trying to seek their approval was all flushed away now and you had worn yourself down so much that there was just a kid left who was scared 
so, so scared 
scared because you were different, scared because you had lost the people that you had grown to care for 
so when jungkook came into the practice room to see you leaning against the mirror with your head in your hands, he knew that something had changed 
and when he called out for you, you didn’t answer. this pattern repeated until he was left so worried that he started shaking you and he had to call the hyung’s
it was only when they opened the door and you made eye contact with hoseok that you started to tear up and then it was like the dam that was holding years worth of fear and hardships back just ... broke 
you clung to jungkook and just start sobbing and apologizing because all you wanted was to be seen and accepted but not at this high of a cost
and they were relieved. they had thought that you would close yourself off from them and shut them out, but it seemed like you were worried about that same thing as well 
jin and taehyung almost cried themselves and it took everything in hoseok to stop himself from draping you in a blanket and protecting you from the world because you were still so young and you didn’t deserve the hate you got. you were only sixteen and there was only so much one person could take 
you were small enough to get picked up and since you hadn’t been eating much, jungkook picked you up easily 
and you didn’t protest as he carried you out of the practice room and into the van that they usually shared
you were drained and tired and worn out and just overall exhausted because you never really showed any emotion except determination, if that could even count 
and even though you were all close enough that you shared meals and acted like siblings, you still surprised them everyday and showed a new part of yourself and they just found themselves growing more fond of you 
once you all piled into the van, jin driving with namjoon in the passenger seat, you looked up at jungkook, (you were still held against him, practically in his lap) and then looked back at the rest of them and what they heard almost made their heart stop, “i love you hyung’s” 
there was SO MUCH to unpack in that one statement when it came to you 
first of all, you had called them all hyung’s, which you hadn't done until now. always opting to add -ssi at the end of their names 
and maybe it was strange to be proud of that tile, but when it came to you, it showed that you really did trust them with anything and they knew how hard that was for you 
then you said ‘i love you.’ it still didn’t really process in their heads until they had gotten you to your bed (you had fallen asleep during the car ride back) and they were all sitting around in the living room 
“you guys heard that too, right?” hoseok murmured 
then slowly yoongi smiled that gummy smile of his and everyone’s face’s did the same because you really had become special to them, even if you did come in late to the group 
and oh if that didn’t trigger their protective side
they saw it as their personal mission to out you back together and build yourself up again because you were worth it and you did deserve to be here 
they started with getting rid of electronics, well at least for you 
they were going to try to separate you from the media for as long as they could because people were ruthless 
they also made a point to start posting more solo videos of you on their youtube channel, so the audience would actually be able to see past your ‘foreign’ face and look at your real personality (they even started posting things without the companies approval but would never tell you that because you were already rebellious enough) 
and their planned kinda worked, too 
and even if you still weren't accepted by many, more and more of the fandom was accepting you everyday and that meant something
at least one of them would be with you at all times (which actually kinda got on your nerves sometimes but you knew they were trying to help and you wanted to change, to grow, to make it easier on them) 
taehyung started giving you more and more of his clothes (which you loved sleeping in) and started to use you as his cuddle buddy more times than not because you were the��“precious maknae that should be protected at all costs.” “but do i really need to be your body pillow, hyung? at this rate i think your the one who will kill me and then i’ll need protection from you.” “yah, go to sleep.” he would flick your forehead and then you would mutter ow under your breath but go to sleep anyway because you were actually pretty comfortable 
or when seokjin would call you into the kitchen just to try his food and you would groan at having to get up from where you were but in reality you actually looked forward to it because he really was so good at cooking 
and so it becomes kind of like a routine for everyone and they all take care of you in their own way and your quick to try and help them back, even if comes of across as a little weird and distant
like when you would always bring extra water bottles to rehearsal because you know hobi will dance the hardest and you would get worried that he might become dehydrated 
or every other night you would bring water to jimin with a honey cough drop because those are his favorite and it helps to sooth his throat after a long day of training
you also make an effort to contribute to the songs. so you start tagging along with namjoon and yoongi when they go off to their studios because you are also interested in producing and you would like to learn someday and they are all to eager to show you how 
and you actually make an effort to ask for help when you need it (which is kinda big for you) and jungkook is the one who helps more than not 
they didn’t give you time to build your walls back up again and even though you often slip back into the mindset that you consonantly need to work for approval, they are there to tell you that you don’t need to do that because you already make them proud and that you already do work enough 
you are enough. they see you and believe in you 
and really, that’s all you needed, but it was a relief when you started to be widely accepted by the fans 
but you’re here, you were enough 
and although its not always good all time, and at times when you don’t feel like you belong, your hyung’s remind you that they are your family, and that no matter your face or where you come from, you will always belong with them 
[end]
end note: holy cow, this was just a mess of emotions and i think i might have some sort of trauma i don’t know about because sad who?? apparently i know her very well. but i’m really happy with the ending even though everything in between is messy! anon if you’re reading this, thank you so much for this kind of prompt! it really got me to think differently and put me in a position where i had to really delve deep into negative and positive mental patterns and how its impacted based on how a person grows up 
also I REALLY LOOKED UP IF JIN HAD A LICENSE AT THREE AM IN THE MORNING JUST TO WRITE THREE WORDS ABOUT IT and i just?? find that really funny for some reason?? i don’t know man, i need to get more sleep, so i apologize for any errors. i love ya’ll 
~**~ masterlist 
request something! 
taglist: @boba-tea1206​ 
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ink-and-flame · 2 years
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Kinktober Day 1: Intensity Shattered
Kinktober Day 1 Prompts: Throat Fucking ~ Pain (mild) ~ Suspension (horizontal)
Fandom: Original
Tags: exophilia, angst & porn, throat fucking, pain, bondage, suspension, scissoring (f/f), hurt/no comfort, hurt/comfort (kind of a mixed bag here between scenes)
Pairing:  Orc(m)/Human(f), ?M/HumanF, HumanM/HumanF, HumanF/HumanF | Darnok/Lia, Lucien/Ember, Zane/Lia, Ember/Lia 
[Author’s Note: It has been a long time since I have written anything and I felt the need to finish out this portion of the story. While this was intended to be part of kinktober 2020, I never got to it in time. This is where things start to go a bit pearshapped, though not nearly as dark as I had originally intended, things will get worse before they get better. I revamped the whole last few parts of this because the original prompts from 2020 were too dark and so this is not the way I had originally outlined the last few parts of this story to go.]
It had been some time before Lia could go back to the club. The last scene, though intensely hot, had almost landed her in the hospital. The medics had to be called when she didn’t regain consciousness after a few moments and her throat was in a sorry state. It was recommended, strongly, that she take some time off to heal. The owners did not want to be held responsible if further injury occurred and of course she understood. 
Darnok had felt terrible, both he and Gorvaal were nothing but apologetic about the situation. It was something unexpected, and Lia couldn’t be mad. She had plenty of experience and practice and she wasn’t sure what made this time different, but it was and she needed time to heal. She reassured both orcs that she was fine and not angry, as best she could without a fully functioning voice, and she could see the guilt in Dar’s eyes when they were finally alone. 
As much as Lia had done her best to reassure him, something inside of her twisted and pinched a bit. She kept thinking that she had forgotten something important and for some reason Gorvaal had made that feeling stronger. It nagged at her and kept popping up in the back of her head any moment she had down time. 
With forced time off from the club, Lia couldn’t see Dar. They only ever met at the club, and only used the hotel afterwards. If he was going to the club without her, she had no way of really knowing unless she asked Ember, something that felt a little too close to spying if she thought about that hard enough. That didn’t make it hurt any less, and had Lia in a bit of a funk while she healed.
The more time that passed the more that nagging feeling got stronger until she was on her computer and going through her history. She had found some shoes and a nice bag she wanted to get but for the life of her could not remember where she saw them. As she dug around in her history, Lia found the searches for Taledras. Against her better judgement, Lia reopened them and did a little more searching.  The more information she found the more her heart sank. The woman from before was Ariana Taledras, the youngest daughter of a wealthy and powerful fae family. There was a full page article about her engagement party, how it was the event of the year, not to be missed. 
Darnok was engaged. 
Tears streaked paths down Lia’s cheeks. She had always know, inside, that something was off. She just didn’t know what it was. Now she did. There was no way to know how long Dar had been with this woman, but their engagement was going to be formalized in less than a year. Lia felt gutted and was thankful for the time away from both the club and work. She was in no condition to do much more than cry and desperately try to comfort herself. 
Crawling into bed Lia sobbed into her pillow, deep heaving sobs, as her heart fully broke. There was a  sharpness to the pain she felt as her sobs shook her body. She screamed into the pillow until her voice completely gave out. All the healing, undone in a moment. The edges of her vision had pinpricks of light, spots of dark, as she cried hard enough to give herself a pounding headache. At some point she simply exhausted herself to the point of sleep.
Lia was wrapped in a blanket on her couch when there was a knock on the door. She ignored it, as she had been ignoring everything for days. However, this knock was insistent and not going away. With a groan Lia got up and went to her door, opening it and seeing Ember standing there looking quite worried. 
“Man you look like shit!” 
“Thank you, I try” Lia quipped as she gestured for Ember to come in. She knew her friend well enough to know that the other woman was not going to leave. 
“So, what happened. I heard you got hurt, but that was a while ago, and you haven’t been answering your phone, or texts, or DMs, or even email. Like, nothing.” Ember sat on the couch next to Lia looking at her friend with concern.
“He’s engaged.”
Ember just looked confused. “What? Who again?”
“Darnok. He is engaged. I saw the article about the party they are throwing next year to make it official, or I don’t know, it's some next step thing. I couldn’t finish the article.” Lia was crying again. This time silently. 
“Shit, fuck, well damn thats. Fuck that is really shitty. Was this recent and he just hasn’t had a chance to tell you?” Ember already knew the answer but hoped she was wrong. 
“I suspected, for a while that he was in a relationship. There were things that made it not seem like it on occasion, and other times, I dunno, it just always was right there on the edge of my mind. Then at that event he ran, Gorvaal mentioned something about a Taledras. I looked it up, it isn’t a what like I originally thought, but a who. She is a rich, powerful, beautiful fae.” Lia hiccuped. “Honestly everything makes sense now. Why he never wanted to collar me, why he sometimes kept me at arms length. I mean she is beyond gorgeous, everything I could never be, I just can’t understand what he wanted with me. That is the only confusing part.”
Ember sighed and ran her hand through her hair as she tried to think logically and not immediately go to the club and make one hell of a scene. “Honestly, this isn’t uncommon among rich couples, from what I hear anyway. Often they will have side pieces and there are rules, but I always thought that was just in movies and books. I didn’t think it was something that actually happened.” Ember scooted closer putting an arm around Lia. “Did you talk to him yet?”
“No. What is the point? What would I even say?” Lia leaned into Ember and cried while her friend just held her in silence. What could any of them say really?
It had been almost two months since Lia was last in the club. She had been healed enough for a while, but emotionally she was still in shambles. Moping around wasn’t helping and Ember had practically moved in just so she could make sure that Lia was taking care of herself and not doing anything dumb. 
It was nice to know that Ember was a true friend and she had done a lot to help Lia begin to feel normal again. Normal enough to start talking about the club and how to handle seeing Darnok again. Lia still wasn’t sure that she could do it, but Ember promised that Lucien and Zane would be there to help as well. She even suggested doing scenes with one or both of the men, to try and distance herself from Darnok. There was a concern that this experience would turn her away from the lifestyle for good and Ember didn’t want that, neither did Lia. Kink had become an integral part of her life and she wasn’t ready to give it up. Even if it took her time to find her place of comfort again. 
The plan was to go to the club this weekend, Ember sticking with her, and seeing if Lucien or Zane would be willing to do a scene. If nothing else, Ember, being a switch, offered to do a scene with Lia just to help her ease back into things. Something that made Lia blush heavily and they had to have a bit of a conversation on if that sort of thing could interfere with their friendship. Something neither woman wanted, so it would be approached with caution should that be the situation they landed on. 
Luckily both Lucian and Zane were available for a scene so neither of the women had to worry about compromising their friendship just yet. Zane was curious why Lia had come to them first, but didn’t question it. While Lucien just watched Lia with the strangest expression. He was the one that suggested they all four use one of the rooms and do a group scene. Something exciting, but they would let Lia choose the intensity, since she had been gone for a while. 
“You know, I remember that party where I was art and in a cage. There was something so relaxing about it, I went deep into sub space, is there anything like that we can do?” Lia looked between her friends hopefully.
“There are a few options. If you are comfortable with bondage we could do some rope suspension. How have you healed by the way?” Lucien asked as he looked Lia up and down his eyes flashing between a range of colors. 
“Fully, I just stayed gone a little longer to be safe. That and work.” Lia knew that was a half truth at best, but she wanted to enjoy the night. 
“Suspension sounds fun” Ember said with a smile. “And we don’t have to go overboard with the bondage part so we can do some light suspension, or even use swings instead of rope.”
With the activity decided Lucian and Zane gathered up the equipment they would need. The room had ceiling braces with loops hanging down. Something they could easily tie rope to. Though Lucien suggested using a few swing pieces to help hold the girls up, so all their weight wasn’t on the ropes. He had an idea for how he wanted them both bound and it would take a bit of work to get them into that position and bound together. 
Using silk rope, Lucien began binding Lia, while Zane bound Ember. Both girls were bound together, in a scissoring position. It took a bit of conversation to make sure everyone was comfortable with it, but as this was a group scene and not one on one, Lia was more comfortable with the idea of sharing pleasure with Ember. Plus, she was really curious how it might feel and she was more than a little excited to find out. 
With their crotches pushed together, their thighs bound to each other, and their arms bound behind their backs. Lia realized she was almost completely immobile, but she wasn’t afraid. The men used the swing equipment to help get them both suspended in the air, something that didn’t seem easy, but Lucien was deceptively, inhumanly, even otherworldly strong. 
Once in position Lia wiggled a bit to test her range of motion and found that it felt really good to wiggle like that, and the quiet sound that Ember made was a clue that she also felt good. Giggling a bit, Lia looked between Zane and Lucien.  
“Ok, we are all tied up, now what?” 
“With your permission of course, I think I know what both Zane and I would like, but I will let you choose who you are with Lia. There will be no hard feelings no matter the choice.” Lucien smiled and began stripping off his clothing.
Zane followed suit and both men were bare before Lia and Ember. Lia had seen Lucien before and liked his body. He was strong, but a bit more Lithe and tall, like a dancer or gymnast, though he still had a good bit of muscle and definition. Zane on the other hand was more bulky, muscular, a bit soft around the middle, but not much. He was also incredibly hairy. Lia had never seen that much body hair on a man before and she kind of liked it. 
“I think I will choose Zane this time, since we have already had some time together with Lucien.” Lia winked at him with a smile.
“Wow really? I didn’t know you two hooked up. Man, I am always the last to the party huh?” Zane walked over to Lia pushing his long hair back from his face and looking down at her. 
Lia realized, rather suddenly, that they were suspended at nearly the perfect height for their mouths to be used easily. She smirked a bit and looked up at Zane. He was handsome. Almost inhumanly tall, but quite handsome. He had such rugged features, and despite all their playful flirting it had never gone anywhere in the past. Though her attraction to him was quite real, she had always just been too caught up in Darnok to really look that intensely at Zane. 
She found herself blushing when he gently stroked her face with his large hands, she could feel the callouses and honestly didn’t mind them. She wished her hands were not bound, the hair on his body was so inviting, she wanted to touch him, to run her fingers through it. The hair on his head was a few shades darker than the hair on his body, the contrast interesting to her. Lia looked up, noticing he was hard as he had been watching her study him. When her eyes met his, for a moment she swore they were yellow, but it must have been a trick of the light. 
“If you are sure, I heard what injured you before, and I am not really all that big into hurting my partners like that.” Zane was focused on Lia taking in her scent, reading her body, looking for any hint that she wasn’t sure or was hesitant about any of it. 
“I promise I am ok.” She tried to look down at Lucien but was struggling. “Lucien, tell him I am ok.”
Lucien laughed, it was a dark smokey laugh with a strange echo to it. “I assure you Zane, I would have sent her right home if she wasn’t fully healed. I can see how eager she is. You need to relax and let yourself enjoy it.” Lucien paused, blinked in a way that from a certain angle it looked like he had two sets of eyelids, and then spoke again. “Since when are you the uptight one?”
At that Zane started laughing, which caused Ember to have the giggles, which gave Lia the giggles as well as Lucien just looked at them all. 
“Really now, this is supposed to be a serious scene. How am I supposed to exude the energy of a stoic dominant if you are all having giggle fits!”
That statement only made them laugh harder, something that had Lucien smiling slyly. He knew the heartbreak that Lia was feeling. He knew this was a distraction, and one she desperately needed. He also knew that Zane would be more gentle with her than anyone else could be. Despite never wanting to harm her, Lia was an enigma and Lucien could see himself going a little too far with her. 
“Are you all quite finished?”
The giggling died down and Zane nodded, followed by Lia and Ember, the latter of which opened her mouth for Lucien, trying to at least feign some semblance of obedience. The offer of which was taken with a slow teasing stroke of Lucien's cock against Ember's lips before he slid into her mouth with a groan. His focus now on the woman bound and trusting him. 
Zane paused, watching them for a moment before looking down at Lia and stroking her face. “You have my permission to bite me if I get too rough or go too far. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Lia nodded and leaned her head up a bit to kiss the tip of Zane’s cock, giving it a little flick with her tongue, smiling as he visibly shuddered and made a small sound that she wanted to hear more of. No more words were needed as he stepped closer and pushed his cock slowly into her waiting open mouth. He was more gentle than Lia had expected, more gentle than she had really experienced in the past, she was curious how he had so much control. 
The scene started out slow, both men being careful with their partners, making sure not to thrust too hard or push too deep. Though control was beginning to slip for both men as the scene became more intense. With each thrust Ember and Lia were pushed together, their slick folds and clits rubbing against each other, increasing their pleasure. 
Lia had no idea that rubbing against another woman could feel this good and she had to think about that later when she could actually rub her brain cells together since she was enjoying this far more than she thought she would. Zane’s cock was thick, but not as thick as Darnoks. It was a good size, and despite his height, he still wasn’t orc big. Something Lia was thankful for. The size of him, the feel of him, the curve, she had to admit it, Zane had a really nice cock and she was somewhat eager to feel it elsewhere. Something that sent a sting of guilt through her, and she pushed it away as quickly as it showed up. 
It was easy to tell once Zane was starting to get closer to the edge. His thrusts became rougher, his control clearly slipping. She could feel his hands gripping her breasts, teasing her nipples, though his nails felt weirdly longer, but that was probably her imagination. She was enjoying it too much. The harder he thrust the more it pushed her into Ember and the more friction she was able to feel. It was clear both men were trying to time their thrusts to push the girls together harder. Lia could hear Ember moaning around Lucien’s cock, and it was all just turning her on more. 
Somehow it felt like Zane’s cock was getting bigger and her throat hurt a bit, but she wasn’t going to stop now. Lia was close herself and she wanted this. Zane was grunting, making little growling noises as he thrust deeper and harder into her throat. She could feel him swelling, getting closer and closer to release, something she was also getting closer to. 
Soon Lia felt that euphoria as her core clenched a bit. She was going to cum soon, and the burning pain in her throat was ignored as she felt Zane push harder into her throat, his grip on her painfully tight, tight enough to leave bruises. All of that was forgotten as she arched and came against Ember, feeling an intense throbbing release as she was pushed against the other woman. She wasn’t sure but she thought she felt Ember cumming too. That thought was pushed aside as Zane came with a loud sound, that was somewhat like a howl, but Lia was pretty sure that was her imagination as her throat and mouth were filled with a hot flood of cum. 
When Zane pulled out Lia coughed a bit to clear her airways, but otherwise felt mostly fine. She had cum all over her face so her eyes were closed, but soon she could feel a wet cloth cleaning her up. 
“Sorry, I am so sorry Lia, I lost control at the end there. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Why didn’t you bite me?”
It took Lia a bit to answer, she smiled up at Zane, her voice a little hoarse. “Because I like it, and it didn’t hurt that much, I promise.”
Both men took their time to carefully get the women down. Moving them over to the bed, rubbing their limbs to help them get feeling back. The four of them cuddled for a bit, enjoying the afterglow and each other's company. Aftercare was important, even as a group, and the women were doted on and given anything they wanted or needed. 
Lia found she liked how it felt to be snuggled against Zane, he was really warm and the hair on his body felt nice against her skin. Though that strange guilty feeling was back and she did her best to push it away, this moment was not going to be ruined because she was an emotional and mental mess. 
Soon it was time to get dressed and vacate the room. They headed back to the VIP area and talked for a while, sharing drinks and laughing. Soon it was late and Lia needed to go. Ember hugged her indicating to call her when Lia got there so she could be sure she got home safe. Kissing Zane on the cheek Lia headed to the exit. 
What she hadn’t expected, and least wanted, was exactly what happened. She ran into Darnok who seemed surprised to see her. He looked at her curiously.
“I thought I saw you before, coming out from the back rooms, but I wasn’t sure.”
“That was me, I was with Lucien, Zane, and Ember, we did a group scene. It was intense but a lot of fun.” Lia was trying to smile, trying to be normal, trying to hold it together. 
Darnok just looked at her, a bit confused. “I wasn’t sure when you would come back. I know you had been injured, but you hadn’t been responding. I didn’t know you were coming back to the club.”
Lia took a breath and looked Darnok in the eyes. “Well.” She paused, praying for strength. “I didn’t know you were engaged. I guess there is a lot we both just don’t know. Goodbye Darnok.” With that Lia pushed past him and headed for the door. She could already feel the tears, and by the time she made it outside she was running to her car fighting back sobs. 
Lia didn’t want him to stop her. She didn’t want to hear his excuses. Pulling out of the parking lot she sped off, hoping that she drove fast enough that he could not follow her. Trying to see through the tears, Lia’s heart broke all over again. 
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come-on-shitty-boys · 4 years
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Characters: Oikawa Tooru/Sakusa Kiyoomi/Miya Osamu
Request: Hi! Do you think you can make headcanons for Oikawa, Sakusa and osamu, with an s/o thats a medical student? 🙏🏻😳
Warnings: swearing
Word Count: 1.9K (~600 a piece)
Notes:  I’m v v v sorry for the recent lack of updates! I’m moving back to uni on Tuesday and I didn’t plan accordingly and get fics lined up >.<
Oikawa Tooru
The most supportive bean oml he’s so cute
It’s definitely not easy considering he’s in Argentina, but he does his best to check up on you whenever he can.  You have a tendency to over-work yourself while studying, so someone needs to remind you to take a break and get some rest dumbass literally doesn’t take his own advice smh
You should hear him when he’s talking to his team about you.  “Oh, you mean Y/N?  My DOCTOR s/o?  Yeah, that’s right.  I’m dating a doctor.”  You aren’t even a doctor yet, but he’s going to tell everyone he knows that his s/o is a ✨doctor✨
He can’t really help you study because of the distance, but if you ever need to vent to him about classes or your residency, boy is there.  He is listening intently while you spill all the tea!  Oikawa likes the drama, what can he say?  It’s like his personal soap opera.
Oikawa takes so many screenshots while you video chat.  You’re probably going over notes or working on homework and he’s just collecting all the photos.
He’s going to post them on his instagram later, captioning it with something like, “yeah, your s/o may be great, but are they a doctor?  lol didn’t think so 😜” and you’ll have to comment “Tooru, I’m not a doctor yet.”
But, Tooru literally does not care.  He can’t get over the fact that you’re so?? Smart?? You could be telling him about something you learned in class that day and he’ll be nodding along, like he knows exactly what you’re talking about, but to be honest?
He doesn’t know what the hell you’re talking about.  You keep using these big words and he’s just “?????”
Oh, but he learns, because he’s a good boyfriend for sure.  He has sticky notes all over his apartment with random medical words that he’s heard you say.  It’s low-key just to impress you, but also Oikawa really does care about what you’re talking about and he wants to be able to follow the conversation better.  
Boy learns his new vocabulary words in Japanese and Spanish to further impress you and because he knows that you find it really hot when he speaks Spanish.
Brb cackling at the idea of oikawa just spewing a random Spanish diagnosis in your ear during sex because he can’t remember how to say what he wants to tell you
Everytime you reach a milestone in your med school career?  He’s bragging so much.  You’d think that he was the one who made the dean’s list or that he was the one who finished the classroom section and was moving onto their residency.
He’s honestly just so proud of you and wants to show you off, because you’re just so driven and passionate about everything you do.  It’s a big reason why he fell in love with you in the first place.  
Peep him cheering the loudest when you finally complete your residency.  Stand right there.  He wants to take pictures of his s/o looking fine as hell in their white coat with their MD, so he can brag to everyone he meets that his s/o is officially a doctor
The proud smile on his face when you’ve finally done it?  Irreplaceable.  He’s been your biggest supporter through this whole thing.  To him, watching you do this is as amazing as doing it himself.
He’s going to frame your degree and hang it up right by the door of the apartment when you two move in together.  Just a gentle reminder that he’s dating a doctor, no big deal.
You could try to tell him that you’re proud of him for following his dreams and making it to the big leagues and he’s just, “yeah, but who graduated medical school 🤗”
AWWW WAIT
If you open up your own practice one day ;-; this baby is just beaming with pride, taking all the pictures and all of the videos as you cut the ribbon to announce the opening
Marry him.  Marry him or I will.
Sakusa Kiyoomi
You probably complained once about the workload, saying that it was so much harder than you ever anticipated, and this son of a bitch would just scoff like, “It can’t be that difficult.”
But, it’s that difficult and you let him figure that out.  You handed him a stack of your assignments and said, “If it’s so easy, you do it.”
Insert Sakusa Kiyoomi hunched over the table for three hours, just staring at the page, occasionally flipping through your textbook and medical dictionary as if either of those things would help him. 
He literally handed you back a blank paper and didn’t say a word.
Honestly, he has no idea how to help you study, but he’ll try his best.  If you hand him a study guide or a stack of flash cards, he’ll sit on the couch with you and quiz you until you know each and every one better than you know yourself.
He’s not exactly going out of his way to learn about medicine so that he can better converse with you, but he does pick up on a few things
Kiyoomi’s gotten pretty good at breaking down the medical terms from long hours of helping you study.  He has a decent understanding of what some of the roots and suffixes mean, so when you start talking about something from school, he can usually at least pin down some of the information
Sakusa is going to use your career path to his advantage though.  He wants to know what disinfectants they're using at the hospital and can you get him some?  
He’s already pretty private about his personal life, especially when it comes to his relationship with you, so outside of his small friend group, he hasn’t told many people that you’re a med student.
This doesn’t make him any less proud though.  He’s just more quiet about it.  But, he’ll celebrate all of the little accomplishments right there with you, texting you right before you take a big test to wish you luck and taking you out for ice cream or a nice dinner when you get your results
If he gets a long break at practice, he’ll go take you lunch, just so he knows that you’re taking care of yourself properly.
MASK SELFIES
You stay up really late trying to memorize the proper treatments and where to make incisions and things like that, so if Kiyoomi doesn’t ask you to come to bed, it’s very possible that you just won’t? And he’s learned that the hard way.
Right before your finals you told him, “Yeah, I’m just going to study for another hour or so and then I’ll head to bed.”
He literally found you asleep at the kitchen table, your notecards all over the floor because you knocked them off at some point in the night
But, Sakusa is a good boyfriend so he’ll make you breakfast and some tea or coffee to help you start your day.
Speaking of coffee and tea.  He’s limiting your caffeine intake :)  oh, you want a cup of coffee/tea at 9 pm?  “That shit better be decaf.”  it’s literally just so you can sleep.  Once 5 pm hits, he doesn’t let you have caffeine, but it’d be bogus if he sat next to you with a cup of tea, so he also doesn’t have caffeine in the evenings.  
He’s definitely the type to show you that he cares more so than actually tell you how much he loves you
Miya Osamu
Superior twin
This is a joke i love both miya boys equally, even if atsumu does have piss hair
N E WAY.  Osamu has no fucking clue what you’re talking about 90% of the time and I hate to break it to you, but-
He’s not going to take the time to learn like the others.  He may stop you to ask questions, but that’s really it.
It’s not like he doesn’t care though!  Osamu really loves that you’re following your passions.  He just knows that even if you do explain it to him, he’s probably going to get lost in all of the logistics. 
Most of the time, you’ll just see him nodding along with what you’re saying, popping in with a question or a comment every now and then.  While he may not understand what you’re saying, he does take some interest in it.
He’ll ask you things about the medical equipment in your bag.  Like, how does the blood pressure cuff work?  Have you ever given yourself stitches?  If he were to cut his hand chopping ingredients, could you fix it right here in the kitchen or would you still take him to the hospital?  Can you really hear his heartbeat with those weird headphone things? It’s called a stethoscope ‘samu smh
Osamu is the king of making sure that you take good care of yourself.  This man? Oh, he’s packing you a lunch every single day you have to go to class.
Better yet?  If you come down to Onigiri Miya between classes, he’s going to pile your plate full of food and then he’s got a to-go container with more, just in case you get hungry.  He has your favorite drink stocked so it’s there whenever you come by.
He won’t sit with you, because he’s usually pretty busy, but he will let you sit at the counter so he can talk to you while he prepares more onigiri.
‘Samu always asks how your day went.  It’s the first thing out of his mouth whenever he sees you after your classes.  
If you guys get done around the same time, he’ll meet you at your university to walk home with you.
He makes sure that you drink plenty of water.  He’s like a waiter, I swear.  Osamu will walk past you like every 20 minutes just to make sure that you have enough water and if he sees that you haven’t been drinking your water-
Prepare for a lecture on the importance of hydration as if you don’t already know that?? 
“‘Samu, I’ve had five glasses of water.  I’m not thirsty.”
“You need to stay hydrated!”
He’ll try to help you study if you ask, but it usually ends up with you laughing as he tries to pronounce some medical term.  He’ll toss the flashcard to the side and just huff, “That’s probably not going to be on the test.”
Like Sakusa, he’s pretty reserved when it comes to talking about his personal life, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have a picture of the two of you on your graduation day hanging up in Onigiri Miya.
He’s not going to say anything about it first though, but if someone asks? He can gush about you for a good ten minutes while his patrons smile and nod.  Telling them how proud he is that his incredible s/o graduated from medical school with flying colors, explaining what field you’re in and what that means he’s literally just repeating what you told him once oops
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juliettecxi · 3 years
Note
Ooo Sophideon? Sentence prompt number 3? Annndd fluff?
Also no swearing if thats ok?
Prompt number 3: “Is that how you really feel?”
Fandom: The Infernal Devices
Ship: Sophideon
Genre: Coffee shop au, nonTSCverse, fluff fluff fluff, some cute banter, just very cute and self indulgent
Prompt List | Writing Playlist
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Gideon Lightwood was many things, but he was not a coffee drinker.
Coffee was disgusting and very overrated.
Why then, did he visit the coffee shop near his university every day? Well for starters, even if he didn’t drink coffee, he did enjoy their doughnuts, especially the ones made and served by a certain barista.
Sophie Collins was in the same year as Gideon, but she studied Sciences and he studied arts, so they rarely crossed paths. Gideon didn’t even know they went to the same university until his friend dragged him to this very coffee shop.
Gideon wasn’t a believer of love at first sight, but Sophie Collins certainly piqued his interest.
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The smell of roasted coffee beans overtook his senses as he entered  the coffee shop. Business was slow during this time of the day, so Gideon made his way to the cashier without having to wait too long.
“Hello! Welcome to the Clockwork café! How may I help you?” said an all to familiar voice. Gideon raised an eyebrow.
“Pretending not to know me Sophie?”
“I don’t know you well enough to say hi everytime I see you Mr. Lightwood.”
“I come to this coffee shop everyday!” he said, with exasperation, and Sophie chuckled.
“The usual is it?” she asked, and Gideon heart did a tiny flip. She remembered his order! As Sophie busied herself preparing the coffee he never drank and the doughnut he couldn’t get enough of, he couldn’t help but admire her and the way she moved, such skill, grace and practice, her nimble fingers working all the knobs and levers with such precision, Gideon felt bad that he ended up throwing away the coffee, but how else was he going to interact with her? Speak to her and ask her out? 
Sophie poured his drink into a cup and approached him. She placed his coffee and doughnut on the counter and gave him a smile, that caused butterflies in his stomach. “See you.” she said, and headed to the back of the coffee shop, leaving Gideon pretty sure he had fallen hopelessly in love.
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Gideon headed to the back of the coffee shop, where the bins were, feeling giddy and grinning. He was always like this after interacting with Sophie.
He carefully set his doughnut bag down and opened his coffee cup to spill the contents. He could’ve just chucked the whole thing into the bin, but he was responsible and would recycle likewise.
“Good riddance you revolting murky concoction!” Gideon proclaimed triumphantly as he watched the coffee fall into the drain with deep satisfaction.
He really hated coffee.
“Oh my God.” a voice said from behind him.
Why was that voice so familiar? Gideon was toast.
“Hi Sophie!” he said in a strained voice, and turned around. 
“Do you know how difficult it is to make coffee?” Sophie said, her eyes flashing.
Gideon shook his head.
“Do you think I like having to steam the milk and pumping the espresso and putting up with all those customers? Do you think I enjoy it?”
“I-”
“I never expected you to be so inconsiderate, and insult me like this Gideon. I thought you were different. I thought you-” she broke off and shook her head, and Gideon couldn’t bare to see the hurt and disbelief on her face.
“Sophie I can explain.” he said, and she looked at him and raised an eyebrow.
He took a deep breath.
“This is so embarrassing and I might never be able to look at you again, but the reason I kept coming to your coffee shop, and ordering coffee I never drank, was because….” he trailed off,
“Because?”
“Because I like you.”
“Come again, Lightwood?”
“I like you okay! You’re just so passionate and amazing and strong willed and so goddamn beautiful that I- Wait, why are you laughing?”
Sophie was holding her sides, and laughing like someone had told her a good joke.
Gideon scowled, and Sophie laughed harder.
“Is that how you really feel?” she asked, her laughter subsiding.
Gideon nodded.
“Oh Gideon why didn’t you just strike a conversation with me?’
“Have you met me! I would run away if I tried to converse with me!”
“But I wouldn't have run away.” she said, and flashed the smile he’d fallen in love with.
Gideon grinned and walked up to her. Taking her hand.
“In that case, you and me, this Friday. I’ll pick you up at seven?” he asked.
“I’d like that.” she said, and pulled her hand away from Gideon’s. “I have a shift to finish, I’ll catch you later Lightwood!” she said, walking away.
“Okay, bye!” he replied and did a little happy dance.
“Oh and one more thing,” she said, poking her head from the coffee shop back entrance, “You’re making it up to me for all the coffee you spilled, and winked at him.”
Gideon groaned, but he couldn’t help but smile a little, he really was head over heels for her wasn’t he?
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A/N: Writers block is a jerk, but I finished this at long last woohoo! @fortheloveofthecarstairs thank you for requesting and I hope you likeed it!
- Abby💕
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sneakydraws · 3 years
Text
Well, here it is - a lengthy explanation of each card in my mdzs major arcana deck and what I meant to convey/what i would have changed in retrospect/what alternatives i considered! It’s a bit messy and my typing style is lazy but hopefully it will be an interesting read to some of you :)
And so you don’t say I didn’t warn you - jiang cheng’s section (11 justice) is absurdly long lmao
0 the fool  I elaborated on this in the post itself but yeah basically jin ling is kind of representative of all the damage and trauma caused by the past, and there’s a kind of danger there of him falling victim to the same vices as the older characters and repeating the same mistakes and perpetuating the cycle of war and misery (the cycle that we already see with how the jin sect became the new wen sect, and later with how jgy became the new wwx) and he has a lot of room to grow! He grows so much over the course of the novel, comes to realise the complexities of the past and gets a harsh life lesson in how nothing is as black and white as it seems. But ill save talking about his progress for the end, for now whats important is that he has room to grow and also a dog. I don’t really have a justification for the sun, i mostly just thought it looked sick? It made its way to the next card as well, where it makes a bit more sense, but then i realised it was a dumb motif to include 1 the magician I still very much like wwx for the role, and that illustration would have probably had him raising a corpse on his left and pointing threateningly to the sun on his right. I considered including the table as well, with some mdzs relevant items replacing the card suits. Anyway, like i said wwx got a few cards to himself already so i went with the alternative wq design, since i think she fits the card as well. Both she and wwx are highly skilled people, extremely driven once they set their mind to something. The card to me symbolises the creative mind as well as a general drive for action, which fits them both - wwx was famously a prolific inventor, and wq came up with a previously unheard of surgery, after all. This card strays pretty far from the rider-waite deck design, largely because i was still figuring out how i wanted to approach this series, but you can still see the influence. 2 the high priestess I was actually going to skip this card at first because I couldn’t think of a fitting character, but once i considered a qings character post death, it all fit pretty well. She was already a highly intuitive person in life, and in sharing her memories with wwx she is, in a way, relaying a kind of secret knowledge. Anyway she’s one of my fav characters so im glad i got a chance to include her. The coffins could be interpreted to be xxc and sl or xxc and xy 3 the empress Theres other mother figures in mdzs who got to be mothers for a longer time, but jyl definitely embodies the positive aspects of this card the best. She’s nurturing, kind, emotionally supportive, she already mothered wwx and jc quite a bit when she was young. Plus i liked that the rw card had both water and flowers, making an easy lotus connection. In retrospect the stars look kind of out of place and i should have replaced them with something more relevant... Also, i should have had her hold a lotus seed pod instead of a flower, haha 4 the emperor Like i said I considered jc for the role but hoching bullied me into admitting that nmj was better… they’re both more of an inverted emperor than an upright one but then again theres hardly any character in mdzs who would fit upright emperor so. Jgs was also considered but he’s even uglier than nmj so i couldn’t bear to draw him 5 the hierophant It was pointed out to me that lqr would have fit this card better and the truth if that statement haunts me to this day. Unfortunately I have no space in my brain for lqr so lxc got the role instead. My main reason was his role during the wen destruction of gusu lan, when he ran away with the contents of the library - this is why there’s bookshelves behind him. The keys, take, from the rider-waite deck, are meant to represent the gusu pendants that allow you to enter 6 the lovers Im sure many people would have chosen wangxian here but I uhh don’t really care abt wangxian personally? And also their love story is so convoluted that jyl and jzx seem idyllic by comparison lol. Also i didnt really have an idea for who to put in the angel’s place for wangxian… mme jin certainly did not get these two together in the end but undeniably she and mme yu did initially give them a chance to fall for each other so. Thats something i guess. Anyway the trees became their sects’ flowers and the mountain became the burial grounds - an omen of their tragic fate, basically 7 the chariot There might have been other characters who fit this card better but i couldn’t really think of another card for lwj and i thought it would be weird to not include him… anyway i don’t really care for current timeline lwj BUT i do like that he was clearly influenced by wwx to walk his own path in life based on his moral convictions rather than follow his sect’s rules blindly. The chariot is to me a card of self control, self determination and focused action, so it seemed fitting. The composition felt kind of empty without the actual chariot so i padded it out with the guqin, the cloud recess in the bg (it doesn’t look great but i tried to replicate the drama design….) and the bunnies which conveniently fit the colour scheme of the sphinxes in the rider-waite design 8 strength Like i said before, my interpretation of this card is more… morally ambiguous than the quote unquote official meaning, so i thought about manipulative or duplicitous characters more than kind characters whose strength is expressed through gentleness (though i did consider jyl briefly for the latter interpretation). As such, i considered both jgy and nhs, but ended up going with jgy largely because i couldn’t pass up the opportunity to put the nie sect’s beast as the lion. 9 the hermit My thoughts immediately went to bssr lol. It may be an overly literal interpretation but whatever, i like it just fine. And i like that i managed to echo the rider-waite silhouette in the mountain and the tree (and even in bssr herself) 10 wheel of fortune God i love the parallels between these 2… this card to me is about how you cant trust your current situation, good or bad, to last forever, and these 2 embody that perfectly imo. Wwx went from son of a well off servant and a powerful cultivator, to street rat orphan, to adopted son of sect leader jiang, to double orphan, to MIA, to terrifying but admired warrior, to terrifying and despised traitor, to dead, to, at the very end, suddenly respected and trusted again. The dishonesty and cheapness of whatever the public’s current opinion of him is is portrayed beautifully as far as im concerned. And jgy of course claws his way up to power only to instantaneously become public enemy number one, to the point that he’s probably blamed for stuff there’s no reason to believe he had a hand in. Wei wuxian’s silent astonishment at how quickly the cultivation world turns against jgy and towards him again is a delicious moment of thematic resonance.  11 justice I settled on this card for jc after he got booted from the emperor seat but i do think it fits, in a somewhat convoluted way. I turned both the sword and the scales into visual representations of the golden core transfer (can you tell im obsessed with it). According to biddy tarot, the justice card is partly about searching for the truth, and the scene where jc finds out about the transfer is of course a big deal. I was also very influenced by the reversed meaning again - which is about being reluctant or unwilling to face or accept the consequences of your actions. I feel on an intuitive level that this fits jc but I’m not sure how well i can explain it - it’s something about how he’s a little too comfortable scapegoating wwx for things that were also, if much less so, influenced by his actions, and also something about the way he keeps wwx at an arm’s length emotionally but still leans on him and accepts his support when he really needs it, and somewhat hypocritically expects wwx to put the needs of him and the jiang sect before the needs of others. And also something about the core exchange is the consequence and proof of wwx’s deep - terrifyingly deep, even - love and care for him, which is something jc doesn’t seem to let himself acknowledge. Maybe even something about how you could argue that the way all of the jiangs acted around wwx - jfm’s favouritism that left him with the feeling of a debt he needs to repay, mme yus insistence that he be a servant more than a brother to jc, prepared to give his life for jc, and jc’s own unwillingness - or inability, he was a child after all - to clearly acknowledge wwx as an equal to himself, enabling wwx’s self sacrificial and protective tendencies - that all of this was what caused wwx’s complete and unquestioning willingness to do whatever it took to protect jc, and therefore paved the way to the golden core transfer. And i don’t mean this to be scapegoating jc - especially considering how young he was when this all went down, it wouldn’t be fair to expect this level of emotional perceptiveness, awareness and maturity of him - but i think adult jc has to grapple with the fact that the chain of cause and effect was not as simple as wwx fucking everyone’s lives up to be a martyr, and that both jc and his parents had a role in that story as well. I don’t even necessarily think this is something that jc only realised in the current timeline - i think it’s something he felt on some level this whole time, and it probably led to a lot of feelings of guilt - but the suibian reveal definitely puts it in sharp focus, and i think he’s now better equipped to handle this introspection than he was as a recently orphaned, traumatised teenager, lol. ANYWAY the window with the fabric is both a nod to the rider-waite design and a reference to the destruction of lanling - i actually did some basic ass research for this, and it seems that in ancient china fabric would indeed be hanged in a window if the normally used paper was damaged. The design of the window, as well as the very idea to use it to imply the reconstruction of lanling, was taken from this great piece of jc angst by my pal moroll1! Oh yeah also the covered window kind of works as a denial of forgiveness for jc because it’s like a halo but covered up... Also I completely forgot to put a blindfold over his eyes which would be perfectttt because blind justice and the core exchange......... ok moving on 12 the hanged man I always have issues with this card because i cant find a satisfactory summary of what it’s really about. Best i can tell it symbolises a need to hit pause, surrender or let go of something… ive also seen it tied to sacrifice? So mo xuanyu doesn’t fit perfectly, but sacrifice is definitely there in a surface level reading kind of way, and the idea that you have to surrender or let go in order to achieve your goal does fit the whole deal of getting revenge but giving up your life in exchange and not being there to see it 13 death This is probably one of my favourite cards, definitely not because I have huge issues with change or anything…. I see this card as signalling the necessity of change or putting an end to something / leaving something in the past in order to start anew? At first i considered putting past wwx, mxy and current wwx here as a kind of transformation and one cycle flowing into the next... But firstly, I’d already used mxy in the very previous card, so putting him in again would feel like overkill, and secondly, the longer I thought about it the less convinced I was that this would even fit with the card’s meaning? Because coming back from the dead doesn’t like... trigger an internal transformation within wwx or anything? Anyway, fun fact: the design I ended up going with was actually originally intended for judgement! I thought I was being very clever with the whole “figure plays an instrument and the dead rise” parallel, but apparently I’d just completely forgotten that the judgement card had a completely different composition... Truly I was boo boo the fool... But yeah anyway at the end of the day I figured the design would kind of work for death as well, with Wen Ning and the theme of transformation, (since in his case coming back as a fierce corpse does actually mark a certain transformation in behaviour) and Wei Wuxian’s protection of the Wen people essentially signifying an attempt to break the cycle of oppression if that makes any sense? Like, wwx is trying to revolutionise the way the world works a bit, if you catch my drift 14 temperance  The centrist card! Again this is probably going off track from the “official” interpretation, but to me this card has a certain “don’t commit fully; do everything in moderation; don’t take either side” flavour to it that i personally find infuriating irl and that i very much assign to lxc. It’s entirely possible that I’m misinterpreting his character because i didn’t really pay him (and the 3zun in general) much mind while reading, but hell, I’m allowed to pick favourites and choose who i want to interpret deeply vs shallowly. Again, i wish id chosen lqr for hierophant because its so annoying for a character i don’t care about to get two cards…. But oh well 15 the devil My alternative idea for this was jgy as the devil and lxc plus nmj as the figures, but since all three had been featured already (multiple times, even!) i figured I’d go with xy instead, especially since he’s among my faves lol. I think the devil signifies something along the lines of unhealthy attachment, obsession or addiction, which isn’t 100% accurate in the case of xxc and a-qing, but if i stretch it a bit to cover toxic relationships in general, and especially manipulation or negative influence, i don’t think it’s half bad. My main struggle here was to choose who amongst the xxc/sl/aq trio to choose for the human figures. 16 the tower Arguably jin zixuans death and the following massacre of nightless city were the final and most direct reason for the siege of burial mounds, and the tiger seal is good shorthand for wwx’s loss of control over his powers, which led to the deaths of jzx and jyl. When reimagining major arcana i like to feature some kind of building in this card (spoilers for a possible future project but in my rose of versailles major arcana set the tower is bastille) and even if it’s not a tower, the image of wwx looming over the gathered crowd from atop a rooftop is so good i couldn’t resist 17 the star Struggled with this one - considered both jin ling and lsz for it, as symbolising a hope for the future, but that was kind of covered by the world so it wouldn’t make sense to include here as well... As usual when I struggle with interpreting a card (as opposed to understanding it but struggling with matching a character to it, like with death or moon) I went to biddy tarot and read all the details about its meaning. What i got was that this card signifies an incoming period of introspection and inner peace following a time of turmoil, as well as a general moving on into a new, better phase of one’s life or finding new meaning and purpose. The figure also suggests someone vulnerable, but possessing a keen sense of intuition as well as a good degree of practicality and common sense. Given all those, I settled for mianmian because IM LOVE HER..... I also kind of see her as a prelude to the “just one person is enough” theme present in tgcf!! And i think her decision to abandon her sect because she saw the toxicity and corruption in it is a very inspiring action - even if it didn’t make a large visible impact, i think the appearance of her and her idyllic family at the very end of the novel - paralleling and mirroring wangxian - implies that at the end of the day, it was a meaningful one 18 the moon Another card i ALWAYS fuxking struggle with - this time less because i can’t grasp its meaning and more because I can never find a character that fits it well. I usually get fixated on the “dreams and subconscious” part, but if i lean more on the “disguise, deceit, anxiety and fear” part, i eventually figured the whole yi city arc wouldn’t be a bad fit. I say the entire arc because it really does encompass all those themes if you include both the past and the present - xue yang’s disguise, his tricks with the villagers, a-qing’s lies and even xxc’s reluctance to talk about his past as well as xue yang pretending to be xxc all fit the disguise and deceit angle, and the general mystery and creepiness of the current timeline yi city work well with the anxiety and fear - the mist, the slow uncovering of the past, even a-qing being revealed to be an ally after scaring the shit out of the protags. I definitely struggled with including all the elements and characters, and even moreso with making them vaguely fit the rider-waite composition, but i think it ended up okay ish. OH and i completely forgot to draw mist swirling around them :( 19 the sun I was considering mianmian’s family for this one, but since I used her for star, I ended up with wwx and his parents instead. Once again I’m reinterpreting the card a bit - normally I think it symbolises incoming times of pure happiness and abundance, as well as a connection with the inner child, but I gave it more of a nostalgic or sentimental twist - wwx looking back at the brief glimpse of his happy childhood. 20 judgement another card that i struggle to interpret a bit... Here i actually used the tgcf tarot zine as a reference! In it judgement is summarised as “rebirth, following duty, absolution” SO i figured that nhs, mxy and wwx all together would fit pretty neatly... wwx achieving (public) absolution through clearing his own name after being reborn, and nhs sort of calling on wwx to expose jgy’s crimes... It’s a bit messy but not bad I think! 21 the world This ties very closely to my read on mdzs as a story - which is that it’s, at the end of the day, largely about cycles, and about how hard it is to break them, but how we gotta keep trying and have hope anyway. Or maybe more precisely, that the people directly involved with and influenced by the trauma of the past might not be able to get over said trauma and that the hope for healing from it will be shouldered by the new generation. Or something like that… Basically what i mean is that jc and wwx and lwj and lxc and nhs and jgy and all these people who were in the thick of the sunshot campaign and the siege are so profoundly affected by it that it genuinely feels by the end of the story like there is little hope for them to ever truly overcome that trauma and build a better future without repeating the same old mistakes - but there is a glimmer of hope in the new generation, specifically in jl and lsz. And it’s a bit paradoxical, because they have also been directly impacted by the past tragedies - lsz having his entire clan wiped out after wwx failed to protect them, jl losing both his parents to wwx’s mistakes - but despite that loss, and despite coming from arguably the two opposing sides of the past conflicts, they are both, in the end, capable of moving past that tragedy, of recognising the complicated nature of those conflicts (jl’s moment of clarity at the end is both heartbreaking and hopeful) and forging friendships between clans in the process. I honestly think that the extra where jl is struggling to assert his authority as sect leader, to treat his subjects well and to cooperate with other sects in a truly amicable way is the single hopeful ending note for the larger themes of the novel - it allows us to imagine that maybe these kids can learn from the mistakes of their elders rather than getting sucked in by resentment at those mistakes, and actually build a brighter future for the cultivation world. And sidenote, this is also why i have a soft spot for jin ling and lan sizhui as a ship... speaking of which their poses were directly referenced from the lovers card ehehe
Looking back, I’d like to add some symbol of jin ling’s trauma so that it mirrors baby wen yuan in the tree stump... maybe his father’s sword? 
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grazieschillivera · 3 years
Text
Bad Liar
Summary: You and the boys have to spend the Night somehwere in the nowhere because of a failed mission.Billy is pissed and blames you for their situation, thats when you want to know what his problem is
Word count: ca.2500
,,Anal Wanderer.'' you said breaking the long silence in the car, that lasted since you had ran to the car to flee from your failed mission.
The original plan was to get information from a supe, whose hero career was is total flop, but Vought somehow had managed to know about your plan and almost catched you ,when you left the supe's house.The question whose fault that was would be a huge discussion later on - you had a feeling for that.
,,What?'' asked Billy, who only gave you a brief glance before he continued his grumpy look on the street. Eyerolling you looked outside of your window again, getting the ungood feeling your attempt to light up the mood wasn't about to work out.
,,My sister and I used to do that ,when we would do our vacations on caravan places.Always putting the word 'anal' before every caravan's name.'' you said already searching for another good one from all the caravans your car passed on the huge camping place.Even though you managed to get rid off Vought, Billy decided that he had no interest in driving for another six hours , he wanted to sleep.
,,Oh Anal Open Gear.'' said Hughie from behind, slightly giggeling.
,,Anal Pegasus.'' you added pointning outside.
,,Are we driving with two fucking kids?'' Billy asked M&M , looking to him through the mirror, above him, earning an unimpressed ''Yep''.
,,I got almost killed.I'm just trying to light up the mood, even though I have a reason not to do that.'' you said to Billy.
,,You wouldn't have to do that if I didn't had to save your ass.'', said Billy.
There was your hint, whose fault ist might be for the rather failed misson.
,,Maybe if someone hadn't decided to cancel the plan, I wouldn't have been caught by some stupid soldier fuckers'' said you and turned your glance to him showing your swollen arm to Billy, that had blocked a hit with the gun on his head from him.It wasn't that you were only there to cause trouble.
You could still feel the pain in your head, from being smashed on to the ground multiple times, when you fought back, and the weakness in your knees, that first came up ,when Billy helped you up and brought you to the car.
With a kick down on the brake the car stood still forcfully and you thought Billy had stoped to start screaming at you but he didn't.He just went out of the car and was gone.You were on a free place now, some meters away from the rest of the caravans.When you went also outside ,the silence continued, the only things you heared were Hughie and M&M talking and the Ocean.
,,Fuck.'' you said to yourself, when you realised that you wanted to apologize to Billy but also had no interest in giving in.
M&M was the first that went to sleep, when you arrived it already was sunset.After the last orange clouds were gone Hughie also went to sleep, after he had tried to distract you a bit from the situation with Billy and the fact that someone almost killed you.But without much success.You liked Billy but sometimes you could really punch him in the face and the shook still run through your body, when you thought about it.You knew you didn't even had to try go to sleep.
You followed the little path and the sounds of crushing waves, until you reached some small hills.The whole beach started to spread underneath you.You just searched for a nice place to sit, when you noticed Billy, sitting only some meters away from you.The first idea that crossed your mind was to just ignore him, since he still seemed pissed, but then you decided otherwise.
,,From a scale from one to ten – how much of a cunt am I to you?'' you asked when you sat down next to him, offering him one of your cigaretts, even tough he just had finished one.
,,You're not a cunt.'' he said, after he had decided to accept your offering.,,You're just fucking emotional.'' said he once he had lighted his cigarette and gave you his lighter.
,,What do you mean?'' you asked ,reaching out for it.
,,Listen when I mess up the plan then cause the plan actually sucks.But you always seem to mess up, cause you try to fix every upcoming problem.'' Billy said.
With raised eyebrows you took a drag.
,,Too caring huh? Didn't know that might be a bad thing.You're the one, who started this whole team thing.'' you said still in a calm tone, due to Billy's composure.
,,Yeah but I trust everyone, that he wont mess up except you.You just run to everyone trying to do his job.'' said Billy.
,,You mean for example preventing you from getting knocked out?Its not that I had something else to do than protecting your asses.'' you said.Billy just grumbled.
,,You think I can't do better, right?'' you asked, but deep down knew the answer.
,,See here is the thing.You're not a supe nor ,pardon, very strong.If I hadn't knocked this cunt out, you might wouldn't be here.We didn't take you as an all-around wonder, just someone for the technical work.'' Billy said.
,,And yet you took me with you for this mission.There must be some other reason, cause I had no direct job today.You're a bad liar.'' you said and threw your cigarett in the sand.
,,Careful love, I fear you're not in the position to call me that, when you're doing an awfull job of hiding your emotions.'', said Billy.,,And there we have it again.'' he added and took another drag.
Then again silence.That was again for you a sign ,that some topics could be discussed untill the end with Billy.Sometimes you had to find your answer on your own.
,,I hope when this is all over, I can find something near the beach.I could spend hours listen to the waves crashing down and looking up in the night sky.'' you said.
,,Maybe you should talk to the Fishhero, when we meet him again.'' said Billy, not really intrested in admiring this place.
You laughed unintenionally.
,,God that sounded like a possible answer from one of those quizzes to get to know which Hero would be your match.'' you said.
Billy had to snort.,,Please tell me you have a good excuse to know ,that some bullshit like this exists.''
,,Its just that Annie and I discussed which 90s singer would be our match – that had to be claryfied.It was Eddie Vedder'' you added when you had stood up.
,,Eddie Vedder, huh?Ahh careful with the arm'' said Billy, stoping in his cocky answer, when you leaned on your arm, to stand up from the sand.He stood up before you could,to take his offered hand.
,,I'm not out of glass.'' you said.,,Its the other arm, by the way.Left handed.The ones who are more creative'' you added with a smirk on your lips.
,,Right.Maybe that's the reason you should fuck Eddie Vedder'' said Billy scratching behind his ear.
,,Or the reason why I'm actually good in adapting to your off- plan actions.'' you said back, earning a silent grin from Billy.
,,So no night swimming for us than?'' he asked having a last glance at the water.
,,I'm way too hungry for that, but you can come and join me.'' you said.
,,I fear I don't have enough money left for that.'' Billy said.
,,Pity, I can't give you money.The boss hates it when I care about our colleagues.'' you said but gave him a smile and nod to follow him.
,,Boss?Could get used to you calling me that way.'' he said with a smirk, when you both started your walk.
Since Hughie and M&M already sleeped in the car, you both had to walk to the next diner.You remembered that you saw one, only a mile away from the caravan place.To your suprise the diner was also half of a karaoke bar.When you read the shop sign, you weren't sure to go inside but your stomach told you, that listening to bad singing was the smallest problem right know.Fortunatly it turned out that the almost the whole dinner was empty, leaving a small chance of hearing any singing.
You just enjoyed eating something properly and the peaceful athmosphere until your left arm ran into the table and the small pain forced you back into the memories from today.A blackout almost reached every brain cell from you until you remembered how Billy thought about you and you forced yourself too become calm again.Besides you didn't want that – to be scarred to life just because of some idiots.
Your gaze wandered across the diner and Billy.He was right, maybe, if he hadn't saved you today, god knows where you would have ended.With that on your mind you stood up from the table.
Billy had noticed your changed behavior and had a look on you when you went away, thinking you just needed some time alone.He even noticed how he thought about following you, just in case you couldn't calm down by yourself, but when you stoped at the little stage instead of the restrooms he freezed in his motion to stand up, just to sit back again in defeat.
And his fears turned out to be right, when a song started only seconds after.
You focused on the upcoming beat and high pitched voice from your low key favourite song ,,She is on my mind'' and ignored every negative thought, that came up.The next thing you felt was how you had started to sing, even before you noticed it and how your body swinged to the music.Full of disbelieve you looked into the small crowd, spreaded across the diner tables.No one seemed to really like your singing but that didn't stop you from having your fun on the small stage.You sometimes even dared to look at Billy, but you were far to buys to try to understand what kind of look he gave you right now.
When the song was over you made an exaggerated bow and walked back to Billy , acting as if nothing had happened.
,,Maybe you and Starlight could start a girls group.Didn't know you were into that stuff, since your cheeks already turn red when you order something to eat.'' Billy said when you had paid for the food and walked back to the car.
He had a point there, you could still feel your hot cheeks, or rather again.
,,I don't know.Maybe I'll regret to did that.I just had no interest in falling into a black pit just because of today...I just wanted to use my time again.'' you said in defense.
,,With doing something totaly stupid?'' asked Billy with a grin in your direction.
,,No.Doing something I always wanted to do but never dared to.'' you admitted.
,,See there it is again.Those little things no one else really does in our group, you're even worser than Hughie.'' Billy said.
,,But you like Hughie.'' you said with no effort in suppressing your smile.
,,Oi would you stop that.'' said Billy stoping in his walking and giving you a serious look.,,I tell you what.I'll kiss you when you promise me to stop putting you in danger all the time, alright?'' he asked.
Just as Billy mentioned the word 'kiss' you could feel the blood shot up in your cheeks.Your heart beat even harder against your breast, when you had answered immediatly, knowing damn well that he just wanted to tease you.
,,You think this is a good deal?'' you asked with too much mocking in your words for your liking afterwards,when you saw how Billy leaned himself against the nearest wall of a building, already all confident.
,,You will have to tell me that love.'' he said with his familar smirk on his lips.
You steped over to him and with every step closer to him you could see how his smirk widened while his eyes stayed curiously on you.Your breast almost brushed his open jacket, when you stood infront of him and looked up at his lips, savouring this moment.Because you knew that would be the first and last chance.
,,Maybe thats a good deal.'' you said.,,Didn't know you could be so generous.'' Those words made him smile once again.At first your body flinched once Billy laid his hand carefully on your waist and even though your heart skipped one beat after another, you liked this.
,,Didn't know you could be such a tease.'' he said, when you had pulled away and leaned against his grip around you, that stayed.His fingers drew small circles on your back when he eyed you up.
,,Not a tease.I just sayed no '' you said and turned around to walk out of his grip.
,,Clearly not.I would do an even bader job in this group than now, I don't think I want that.'', you said referring back to his offer and continued your walk but Billy wasn't done with you.
,,Try again.Dont you think I hadn't noticed?'' Billy asked to stop you from walking any further.,,Your looks and how you act.You might fool everyone else but I fucking know that if you follow someone like a little pup into every stupid situation you love that person... or you're just Hughie , and you're not Hughie.'' he added the last part with an eyeroll but still more serious than the rest of the night.
And even though the last part made you smile for Hughies loyality , you freezed on your spot once more, as Billy said that.
He pushed himself away from the wall and crossed the distance to you.Your eyes were filled with guilt and you had no defense to offer.
,,Listen I don't think I want this.I fear I'm not good at protecting people.I mean just take a fucking look at your arm.Nor am I a good partner.So just let me kiss you that you can come over all this fucking lovesickness and we can go back to work.'' he said.
Each word punched you in your stomach, until you stood there with tearfilled eyes.That was enough for you to grab him by his neck and kiss him,finally showing that you wasn't the only liar.
Your lips moved together and you felt that when you wanted to move back, Billy stoped you by planting his hands on your waist and held you even closer.After some seconds you leaned back and looked up at him.His eyes were never so full of warmness before.
,,You are the worst liar I know Billy.'' you said after you could find your voice again, still standing infront of him, waiting for his reaction.
One of his hands carresed your cheek, he had to grin at your words, but this time it faded away instantly.
,,What am I gonna do with you?'' he said while eyeing you up deep in thoughts.
,,For now.Fucking keep me.'' you said demandingly but still with a smile on your lips, now that you gained a bit of hope again.
,,Just fucking promise me to take better care of you.'' he said before he pulled you back in his embrace, as if you were about to vanish otherwise.In that moment you both realised your dilema and cursed it, while you also enjoyed the truth.
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flammenkobold · 3 years
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[slides on socks into your fandom wearing sunglasses, holding a cup of coffee, being several years late “so meta anyone?”]
Meta Thoughts on Ward & Running Away & Finding Himself
First time we see Ward wanting to just get away from everything is in S1E3 when he asks Joy if she ever thinks about walking away from it all and in return she tells him she’d miss him if he  left, but makes it clear that she wouldn’t go with him, and at this point Ward can’t leave without her, because of all the danger that would put her in. But it’s clear to both Joy and the audience how much he has thought about that idea, but it’s not one he can at this point turn into a reality.
The second time it comes up is in S1E7 when Ward actively tries to run away...only to find out that Harold drained all of his accounts. A few notable  differences to the last time he brought it up to Joy: Joy encouraged him to go (though she is thinking rehab rather than full running away), Danny is back now fully with the potential to either draw Harold’s attention away from Joy or to protect Joy, and also Ward is beyond his breaking point. Which results in his first murder of Harold...so yeah, Ward is not in any good space at all here and very much just in flight mode.
Now in S2E6 it comes up again, how Ward wanted to run away, take Joy with him, how many times he was so close to actually doing it... but ultimately didn’t go through with it. Which she does point out to him, but with everything that went down in s1 it’s pretty clear that they couldn’t have run away, not between Harold and the Hand and also because Joy likely wouldn’t have come along even if he had told her the truth. It wouldn’t have solved any of the problems either. There wasn’t really a way out then.
Now that brings us to the end of S2. Here Danny is the one trying to leave, but Danny doesn’t see it as running away, because what his aim is is to find himself again and his place in the world. He doesn’t try to get away from his problems, or from himself, he wants to discover where his path might lead. And importantly he is the one taking Ward along on that journey because he knows that Ward is in a similar situation as he is, unsure where he fits in and who he is meant to be. 
I think what I like most about this scene is that Danny isn’t asking Ward if he wants to come along, he posits it as a fact, because Ward might have argued about it before but he hasn’t outright said no either. So instead of making it a choice Ward can talk himself out of with all the reasons both Joy and his father used to give - it’s the cowards way out, he has a responsibitlity towards his company, it would be a mistake, etc. - he tells him, no you are coming with me and thats a fact. Not because it’s what Danny wants, but because he can tell it’s something Ward wants and needs as well.
And I have a lot of feelings over the whole development, Ward always wanting to leave, always the one asking, never being able to go through with it for various reasons, until finally someone else offers him to come along.
And well look at that happy bean a few month later looking like the sassy archaeologist sidekick in fantasy movie who is cheekily throwing back lines the hero said to him at said hero:
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x-woozi · 3 years
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Sugar, Spice, and Everything.. else?
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Part 25: waiting
Summary: After a very public embarrassing moment, y/n manages to make a few new friends. Though in trying to make those friends there is a bit of a complication in winning over the group.
A/n: Double posting because I just got promoted and am in a super great mood. Also this is basically the part 2 because I didn’t want to mess it up again but it’s not very long. Anyways the ending maybe coming soon... not really sure yet 😅 
(I bolded and italicized her thoughts to read easier)
Profiles
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Series master list
Tag list: @smileyjisung3 @milkywayfelix @scoups-of-sugar @holaaaf @hey-i-really-miss-you @kodzu-ken @ariasnight @sunoo-luvs @hellok1ttycake @f0rcryingoutl0ud @seungcheoluwu @crscendoforsung @beta-eats
(To be added to the tag list please send in an ask, thank you 😊)
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I really hope he’s not going to do what I think, you thought before putting your phone back into your pocket. As you walk through the courtyard, there are a lot of lingering eyes and covered whispers.
‘Thats the girl that threw herself at Dino’
‘I heard she tried it with the whole dance team’
‘Well have you seen who she hangs out with?’
Nayeon quickly came into your line of sight and you could see her starting towards you. If it wasn’t for someone cutting off your path and walking past you, you would’ve ran straight to her to leave.
It was Changbin, and he did not look happy. His hands balled tightly, swinging at his sides as he got closer to a group of people. oh no. “Changbin” you called but he kept walking. “Changbin!” You rushed after him but it was too late.
As soon as he reached them he grabbed one of the guys by the shoulder, spinning him around. It was Dino. Without a single word, Changbin threw the first punch knocking him to the floor.
“What the hell is your problem?!” He yelled, picking himself up.
“Changbin stop it!” latching yourself to his arm in an attempt to pull him away.
“Ah, I see what this is,” DIno laughed. “The boyfriend, right?”
Tugging on his arm, “Let’s just go.” You could feel his muscles tighten, you could practically feel his anger.
“No, wait.” He paused pretending to think, “You’re just upset I got to her first, huh?”
Changbin ripped his arm from your grip and tackled him to the ground. Immediately everyone's phones were out and recording it.
“Bin, stop! Hes not worth it!” you tried reasoning, just as the two flipped. Changbin managed to get out from under him and to his feet.
“But you are.”
You were about to try to reach for him again but his comment threw you off and you froze. Just as you shook it off, you felt someone’s arms wrap around you. “Hey wait, let go of me!” Trying to wiggle free as they pulled you out of the crowd.
“Y/n, you're going to get hurt! Just calm down” you turned to see the face that match the familiar voice. “You don’t need to be here right now.”
“But someone has to stop them.” As if on cue the rest of the boys came running to the crowd.
Nayeon was suddenly at your side and wrapping her arm around your shoulders, “come on I think they’ve got it. Let’s just get you out of here before the rent-a-cops get here.”
You couldn’t help but to keep looking back. They boys struggled to squeeze through the crowd at first but now you couldn’t see them. All you could do was hope that they could separate the fight before either of them got too badly hurt.
You didn’t really care about Dino, but if he was really injured Changbin could get into a lot more trouble than he already would be.
Just as you and Nayeon reached the parking lot, 4 campus security guards ran past you. “Look they’re barely going to help,” Nayeon rolled her eyes as she got into her car. “I’m sure your friend is already out of there,” trying to make you feel a little better.
“Yeah maybe,” was all you said, but your mind on the other hand. Were they really able to get to him in time? Why did he have to go and do that, I told him no more fights. Now I have to worry about him! Ugh, I hope he’s okay…
“Don’t think about it anymore okay?” Nayeon said, pulling you from your train of thought. “It’s already done, let’s just get to your place and wait.”
“Oh how I love waiting…”
“Well sarcasm is a good sign” she laughed lightly.
“I’m fine. Well I was, sort of. But now I’m a little upset?” You said it like a question which only confused your friend.
“Upset like you’re sad? Or like you’re mad?”
Thinking for a second, not completely sure yourself, “both I guess? I mean the whole thing with the lies is kind of whatever I could’ve just ignored it.”
“But…” pushing for you to continue.
“I told him no more fights, and for all of them to leave this alone.” You turned a little in the passenger seat to face her as she drove, “I literally just told him the dude wasn’t worth it. And then hit him again!!”
“I think he just cares about you. I mean what if it was us and the rumors were about me?” She had a valid point.
You turned back to the front and crossed your arms, “that’s different.”
“Why because he likes you?”
“What? No. We’re friends, I’m just ‘one of the guys’. Where did that even come from?” Wait why do I sound so defensive?
“Right okay. I saw the way he looked at you the other day, he did not look at the ‘other guys’ like that,” she gave a quick questioning look before continuing. “Plus I heard him say you’re worth it” she teased.
You tried to think back to that day, not knowing what look she meant. There was nothing. I mean maybe he did look a little longer when i talked or laughed, but it wasn’t just that day. You thought about the night you went to have dinner at their house. It was the same then too. But the doesn’t mean anything, right? Her last comment had his words ringing in you mind bringing a little heat to your cheeks you hadn’t felt yet.
Nayeon cleared her throat loudly, “earth to y/n?”
“What?” You looked up to see you were home and she was already getting out of the car. “Oh my bad.”
“You’re looking a little flushed,” she teased as you walked up to the door. “You feeling okay?”
“Will you just get inside,” you pushed the door open and headed straight for the couch. “How long do you think it’ll be before they’ll tell me everything's okay?”
After grabbing a bag of chips Nayeon sat beside you, “I don’t know, have you checked your phone?”
You mentally smacked yourself in the forehead Duh, why didn’t I think of that? You pulled out your phone to see if any of them called or texted. “Nothing.” You let out a very long dramatic sigh.
“Dang, how long does it take to stop a fight and get out of there?”
“Oh man, what if they didn’t and now he’s in prison?!” You said before sending a quick text to the group chat hoping someone will respond eventually.
“Okay prison? that’s a little much. jail on the other hand? Maybe.” She said before shoving a few chips in her mouth, not helping at all.
“That’s not funny,” hitting her arm before taking the bag from her. “I’m being serious here.”
“It’ll be fine, I’m sure of it.” Her tone was much softer now, “just try not to think about it for now okay? Let’s just watch some tv”
You agreed, but you couldn’t just not think about it. You tried but still not hearing from any of them, hours later? It would be a lie to say it didn’t stress you out, but what more could you do besides wait..
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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years
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Labelling Love | Part 3 (Collab)
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Summary: Meeting you changed the way Eunwoo viewed romance and love entirely.
Pairing: Cha Eunwoo x female reader
Genre: university au / romance / fluff
Warnings: none
A/N: Welcome to the second series in the monthly Love In Fours Ways collab with @jackiejacks923​ @noona-clock​ & @this-song-thats-only-for-you​ . In the final week of each month during this collab, we’ll be each sharing a mini-series using 4 of the pictures/concepts illustrated in the book that inspired our series that I’ve credited below.
Credit to: Puuung - Love Is In The Small Things // #76 , #60 , #4 , #33
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 // Collab Masterlist
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Part 3 -  Stopping In An Alley To Tell Her You Love Her
It felt like a distant memory now that months had travelled between you. The first semester came and went, and you both rejoiced passing your exam period with relatively decent scores. Especially considering the hairy beginning to the paper Eunwoo took with you.
“I’m impressed you stared more at your exam paper than at me,” you teased when you finished checking your scores online in your dorm room.
Rolling his eyes, Eunwoo playfully tapped you on the nose. “Some things are more important to focus on.”
“Like your girlfriend?” you prompted and Eunwoo couldn’t stop his lips from spreading into a smile.
“I finished seventeen minutes before you.”
“You watched me all that time?!” you guessed and Eunwoo shrugged before pulling you up from your seat. “What are we doing?”
“We have two whole weeks before our next semester starts. What do you think we’re doing?”
“I swear if you say going to the library or-”
Eunwoo cut you off with a chaste kiss before sending you a dazzling smile. “Pack your bags.”
“What? Why?”
“I’m going home for the holidays. Don’t you want to come with me?”
“And meet your parents?!” you squeaked out, heading over to your wardrobe anyway. Eunwoo slumped down onto your bed and watched as you turned frazzled. You shot him a helpless expression. “I don’t know if I can come.”
“Why not? Who am I meant to stare at whilst I’m away then?”
“Don’t!” you whined outlandishly and stomped your foot. “This is serious! You can’t just spring it on me that we’re going to meet your parents, Eunwoo!”
“Why not? You didn’t tell me I was meeting your mother until you introduced her as that when I joined you for brunch last month.”
“That wasn’t exactly planned, you know.”
“Nor is this. I just don’t want to say goodbye to you now so come with me instead,” he pleaded and you sighed heavily, sweeping your hair up into a messy ponytail before stepping over to him and leaned in for another kiss. Eunwoo gave you three extras for encouragement and you finally nodded.
“Okay, let’s do this.”
He grinned, getting up to help you with the packing. Admittedly he was meant to be going home by himself. However, the idea of leaving you made his chest ache more than logic could reason. Over the months, Eunwoo found himself giving in to the irrational side more often. It was tiring to try and understand how you made him feel as your relationship progressed. In some ways, he knew he was falling in love. But Eunwoo couldn’t figure where the falling had started.
He sometimes mused over the novel idea that it had happened when he first met you.
Still, it was easier not to question himself anymore and just enjoy experiencing each moment.
Which was what he had done for the entire trip home.
Of course, his parents had gushed over your impromptu appearance. Although they knew he had been dating someone this semester, Eunwoo hadn’t gone into great depths over the phone just how serious he felt about you. Again, because he didn’t know what to describe it as.
Now that you were in his childhood house and surrounded by his family, however, Eunwoo realised this was a first for him. He’d never brought someone special home for the holidays, or for any real occasion.
Something his mother hadn’t let him forget about ever since your arrival. “You know, Y/N, this is the best gift my son has ever given me. I’m so happy you’re here with us these holidays.”
“Oh, it’s my pleasure,” you mentioned with a glance in Eunwoo’s direction. “Thank you for welcoming me into your home at such short notice.”
“Nonsense! You are welcome here any time!”
“We’ll go get the ingredients from the store you asked me to get earlier,” he told his mother before dragging you to the front door.
“Why did you bring me with you?”
Eunwoo cleared his throat awkwardly. “I realised it might not be a good idea to leave you two alone together.”
“Why?”
“I found her searching for the photo albums,” he mentioned with a scowl as you both walked down the tiny street-way towards the main shopping area.
You giggled as you watched your footing on the light dusting of snow covering the footpath. You then shot him a wicked grin. “I’ll have to ask to see them before I leave!”
“I knew my honesty would be a curse some time in my life,” he grumbled as you giggled further.
Eunwoo stopped walking then, staring at your animated expression. Your breath was visible in the colder temperature, and your face barely peeked out between a scarf and beanie. Your cheeks were flushed from the sting of the wintry air and your amusement.
He couldn’t get enough of this look.
However, you grew intrigued, waving a hand in front of his face. “Earth to Eunwoo, what are you thinking about right now?”
“Do we need to get spring onions?” he asked jarringly, blinking out of his thoughts and walking off again.
“Are you okay?” you asked, catching up and slipping your gloved hand into his. “You’re being weird.”
“Shouldn’t you be used to that now? I’m constantly weird when it comes to you.”
“Romantic,” you reminded and nuzzled into his side further.
“We better get these groceries before another snow flurry hits,” he excused, hurrying down the path to the market.
His unease continued for the rest of the trip. Maybe it was the nostalgia of the area and having you fit so easily into the places he had frequented as a child. That was all he could think of as you managed to purchase all that his mother had written down on the list to fetch.
Actually, that was a lie.
A growing need to speak his mind was washing over him. It was bubbling right under the surface as you walked back to his family home with a bag of groceries in both hands each. Every small glance you gave him accompanied with a delighted smile brought the emotion further to the forefront until he was certain he would never be this sure about anything ever again.
“I love you,” he blurted out when you walked down the alleyway towards his street again, and you stumbled to a stop, losing some of your balance given the snow on the ground. Eunwoo lurched towards you to save you from falling, both of you ending up pressed against a brick wall.
Soul searching once he caught your stunned stare, Eunwoo smiled softly. “I love you, Y/N.”
“So suddenly?” you breathed, blinking slowly.
Eunwoo chuckled. “No, I think it’s been for some time.”
“Why would you throw this on me when my hands are full?” you wondered distractedly, glancing at the bags you held. Eunwoo reached out for them, taking them with his own.
And then he leaned in closer. “I love you.”
“Goodness I heard you the first time,” you mentioned, still struggling with coherency. “You need to give me a chance to restart my heart after such a confession!”
Instead, he leaned in and brushed his lips over yours, catching the tail end of your surprise over the confession. Your answer was delivered through the earnest kiss you gave him.
When he finally lifted his head away from yours to suck in a deep breath, you cupped his jaw in both of your hands and smiled tenderly. “I love you too.”
“Tell me again.”
“Why, because you told me multiple times too?” you wondered with a laugh. Shaking your head you pecked his lips first. “I love you, I love you, I love you!”
“Good.”
“Good?” you echoed and Eunwoo nodded.
“My mother was right. This year is the best present I’ve been able to give her. And to myself as well.”
“And you say you’re not romantic at all,” you mumbled before placing your hands upon his chest. “I agree though. I was worried about university back when the first school year began. Meeting you was the best thing that happened to me.”
“Not the A you got for your overall grade?” he offered and you slapped his padded jacket front bitterly.
“That was an A-minus.”
“What am I then?” he wondered and you sighed.
“My A-plus for this semester.”
“And for next semester?”
“I can’t grade you ahead of time,” you admittedly sincerely and Eunwoo leaned in to kiss you again.
“But I love you.”
“Maybe you’re going to get an A-plus next semester too,” you agreed with a laugh, gesturing for him to follow you back to his home.
Eunwoo was glad he could finally label something with certainty when it came to you now.
_________________
Part 4
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grahamcarmen · 3 years
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Hi, so I just finished the new season today! I have so many thoughts, the last few episodes felt kind of rushed? I wished they had gone about the whole situation between Gray and Carm at the end differently. More so on seeing them reunited. My biggest question, is why was he so quick on going back to VILE? He knew what they were capable of yes, was it to feed his criminal impulses? Why did ever want to steal in the first place? What led him to that conclusion and how did he learn of VILE? I was keen on seeing more of his backstory, and still need time to let the story simmer so I can analyze it more. It's just confusing. I guess it's just because the show ended that I feel so bittersweet y'know. What do you think Carmen would've done after they all disbanded? How could she leave them so quickly after she just got back to Team Carmen in the end? Besides wanting to see her mother. I was hoping they'd at least stay together.
i think that more than a few people feel that ( the knee jerk incredulity at her just leaving them a note and yeeting was real)
like disclaimer again: i do love carmen and this season this is just expanding on some little ??’s
on gray and “thinking gray.”: I was also feeling the lackluster on the payoff motivation wise for gray returning to VILE ( which was definitely needed as he was the secret weapon needed to finally get evil carmen back and at least partially inevitable due to ownership of the choices yadadadada )but like when he finally got his memories back he just repeated some things that i never really doubted. that gray did this of his own free will, he probably is of a lower empathy in general (which does not mean incapable of caring and doing the right thing. just that..~~~), that he regretted hurting carmen. in s1 he says his primary motivation as making more money and i was like”mmhmm fits.” being a thief and all and why not since they hadn’t introduced the big “needs to be able to tie up loose ends.” as a operative qualifier to anyone, including some of the recruits there. the only newer thing was his video that he seeked them out. which is interesting and all but sets him up as a go-getter so its so confusing that he’d choose to return to VILE ...a place where he was hurt and is so freaking selfish with what capers they choose to pursue. i kinda went on a tangent on another post that there is a theme of using a false sense of bonding to give them a little more loyalty which is like really heavy considering that means offering a “home” to what looks like operatives who might all be orphans but i don’t think it was highlighted enough to say “HEY YO” even tho GRAY LOOKS SO TIRED TO LEARN ABOUT HIS PAST WITH VILE
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its really interesting because of the 3 people who had access to him/nature we got; carmen who only encouraged his desire to help (for the kiddos, for her safety, for assuring her that they were in...whatever... together, and make sure that they weren’t being secret spy jerks) ACME who got like...0 usefulness (riperonis ma guys), and VILE with maelstrom just hammering home all his shadier deeds with  “YEAH THIS IS YOU.”  AND HIM JUST ACCEPTING IT AFTER SITTING FOR A LONG AF TIME ALONE.
and when this was happening I was thinking about this analysis from another fandom about characters who resign to the law of the strong which could have been a reason for why gray doesn’t seem to hold the consequences for his failure against VILE even though he really should. (if they bothered but listen-)
its something that happens when characters choose to live in worlds they know are unfair, know that they choose to lie and steal and cheat, and thus should not be surprised or hurt when it happens to them in return. which of course lead to them not knowing where to draw the line on what happens to them...and i mean this in like some narratives usually go (hahaha no thats messed up please gtfo being treated like that is not ok and in allowing others to define your limits you are whittling yourself away). and they decide to live in resignation that. i am capable of bad... so i AM bad. (I am that guy. i’ve always been that guy) and makes them absolutely ripe for the (but you’ve been good . you can choose to be better.  it won’t erase the wrongs of the past but it will make for a better future)
but that still leaves exploration of “WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE BY THE LAW OF THE STRONG??” and you know...not having anyone to rely on, poverty, or what was simple rebelliousness turning to darker and darker paths, are some easy reasons to put a spotlight on maybe our operatives having depth and like..arcs. especially any of those reasons combined. ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY’RE WHAT VILE CONSISTENTLY IS SHOWN OFFERING. (shadowsan really is their s-tier character huh)
which i really thought this show would go for when a shivering brunt who is loyal and protective asked if she was really going to be left behind or remember how unsympathetic most of them seemed to see carmen chloroformed because “she did interrupt our heist.” meaning that they understand this world. probably have understood it for longer than anyone should. (antonio being content as a “pawn” is the tenant in my head today) and why shouldn’t more money be important. or honestly how simple it was to accept that someone would just need more money.
with gray they introduced that he could be good and he could be bad but like leaned into “no all that niceness was fake and he’s bad.” due to the hyper specificity of the mind wipe apparently? which also leans into really flat interpretation of evil!carmen (i just mean that there is a lot there ...) meaning theres no really exploration of him and more of a judgment (even though he’s shown to be kind, snarky, and upfront, as himself without a mind wipe.) and then we wait...
the pacing of the last 2 episodes: adrenaline bebe!!! but also there were so many concepts being introduced and resolved and skimmed past so that it is a little confusing at some conclusions. like the scene you’re talking about where carmen just leaves a note and ghosts is like 30 seconds and thats a lot to unpack because ?? i’m really thinking that it might have been insinuating that carmen left them the pen specifically to give them a new home to wait for her because she was going on that little break like she planned (and they knew was the endgoal) because it was behind her note and presumably placed by her but because i was focusing on the letter goodbye like ??? i thought for some reason that it was zack saying he would now like to try ACME because HE thought of it and i was like ??when did you consider this?? and 3rd watch i was finally “ahhh ok ok i think i get it.”
another bitten off scene i think might have been when gray in his first mission is already exhibiting signs of going...”huh this is not good.”
from stopping carmen from unprofessionalism to seeing that new carmen is willing to up and leave the group for mental gymnastics instead of relying on them 100% to going to the ferris wheel where he DEFINITELY SAW HER TRYING TO KILL A CIVILIAN since it showed his reaction after ivy’s. and then it turn to team red because how they feel about it definately matters more than gray but its also so easy to miss that choosing to have gray witness that as the start of what makes him turn himself in (maybe this is just a possible interpretation and its midnight ok)
evil carmen! lost her empathy. ok. so then like thats a static judgment about how they’re gonna make her do bad stuff and she still absolutely cares about her history and VILE still needed to enforce bonding and giving her memories that they comforted her and gave her her coat so thats why she cares about it and her anger at betrayal and sense of loss that she still throws right in shadowsans face when “evil”
carmen thought she crossed a personal line?? like jeeeeeez that’s 6 months of crossing lines and the most recent and horrifying one happened like not even a minute ago and then 5 seconds later we get chief and her reconciling because yes it needed to happen so we’re not gonna address how traumatizing it was or
VILE JUST WENT ALL THE WAY DOWN HUH??
and all these things are important and have the groundwork for happening but man they just happen one after the other and its like
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before moving on to the next thing and like let me breathe omg
and yeah that means that so many people were left confused because the show about family (carmen’s family that SHE built ) seemed to disband for carmen to go to see her mother at last alone, shadowsan to go to his brother and a heartbroken pair of red heads to join ACME
and we get a time gap before reuniting but only a few seconds to decide if reuniting was the plan all along(the pressure point)
and there is a lot of actual IN TIME that is broad strokes that many people have already picked whats going to haunt them that wasn’t explored more...
TLDR; i get it on both counts (gray and rushed)! glad there was some sweet in your bittersweet and since canon definitely had team red in the same place they absolutely reunited and moved back into the shop and carmen talked to them about how great her mom is and planned a dinner
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ruffiorocks · 4 years
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Trying to understand Catra
Just re-watching season 1 episode 11 and this one really does give you an insight into why Catra is the way she is.
The first time you watch the childhood memories of Catra and Adora you just see Adora looking out for Catra (at least I did) but then this time round now that I've seen the final season I'm seeing more in this episode.
Those memories aren't just Adora looking out for Catra, yeah sure is being a best friend to her, but that's not all that's happening. The pickles Catra gets into are only ever resolved because Adora is there to help or speak up for her.
The training memory shows that Catra, despite being treated like garbage and not having much of a connection with anyone but Adora is actually really good at combat, she shines here, but she just can't outshine Adora. But she doesn't act bitter about it to Adora's face, she's supportive and then goes to let out her frustrations in the changing room.
The worst one is the scene where Catra and Adora go into the black garnet chamber and get caught by Shadow Weaver. Shadow Weaver doesn't think for a second to blame Adora or use magic on her or threaten her. It's automatically Catra's fault. Shadow Weaver threatens a little child. She actually tells Catra she will "dispose of her" herself if she hinders Adora's future in any way. She tell her that she only tolerates Catra because Adora is fond of her. That is quite horrific when you really think about it! Does Shadow Weaver hold any of the other orphans or cadets to these standards? Or is it just a personal vendetta against one child? Catra is told her place in the Horde, heck her very life is all dependent on her being in Adora's good graces. Catra can't shine now even if she truly wanted to, because of the risk it presents.
Shadow Weaver tell Adora she has to keep better control of Catra. Catra is there listening to this and it comes across as though Adora is her "keeper" . She is effectively Adora's "pet" so it's no wonder she lashes out.
When the memory ends Adora tells Catra she could come and join the rebellion and then she gets irritated that Catra doesn't just leave Shadow Weaver. But it's not the same for Catra as it was for Adora. I don't really like going into abuse themes, but if I don't someone will mention it. So here goes, we didn't see Adora being abused by Shadow Weaver, she is the golden girl, everyone likes her and even when she does something wrong it's blamed on Catra. Heck it reminds me of the old practice of having a "whipping boy" you can't punish royalty so you punish their servant in the hope they behave themselves.
Catra on the other hand is shown to be abused by Shadow Weaver, it's not as easy for someone to walk away from their abuser. It's all Catra knows and as we've seen, Catra has a bit of Stockholm syndrome where Shadow Weaver is concerned. She still wants her approval, she tells her not to worry when Hordak is mad and even when Shadow Weaver is locked up, Catra can't help but keep going to visit her. She's even heart broken when Shadow Weaver leaves, and who does she go to? Straight to Adora.
When Adora leaves the only thing Shadow Weaver cares about is getting her back and once again blaming Catra for something that Adora chose to do. Hordak on the other hand doesnt care about getting Adora back and he gives Catra something that she has never had before, he gives her chance to shine! He SEES her! Even when Adora goes to rescue Glimmer and Bow Shadow Weaver is ecstatic because she can erase Adora's mind and she tells Catra she's no longer relevant because Adora is back. It does explain why Catra let's Adora go and why she tells Adora this, Catra doesn't want and can't stand the idea of going back to being just "Adora's Pet".
Her relationship with Scorpia is a harsh one. But Scorpia isn't the cute, innocent little baby she's presented as. Scorpia willingly works for the Horde, she has no problem joining Catra in her missions to take the rebellion out. It's Scorpia that plants the heat bombs at the Princess Prom and uses her tail to sting Bow and Glimmer so they can be kidnapped. We just don't like to see her that way because she's funny, and sweet and likes to give warm hugs.
We can see moments where Catra enjoys being with Scorpia, where she's almost allowing herself to be real friends with her. But then she's pulled back and resorts to her defence mechanism of being an ass. Scorpia wants to protect her, hug her, take care of her, BUT that is exactly what Adora did. To me, even though Catra's behaviour isn't right, it's her not wanting to create that kind of a bond again because losing Adora was too much for her but at the same time it kind of freed her. She also doesn't want to become reliant on someone having to protect her all the time because thats what she's had to live with her entire life. What if Scorpia decides to leave like Adora did? It's a vicious , unhealthy cycle. She's also so obsessed with getting her job done and shining because now she can, she has Hordaks approval, she's taken her abusers place and suddenly has all this power and it goes to her head because what happens if she fails? She even gets rid of Entrapta because Entrapta won't let her proceed with the plan to open the portal, Catra is of course totally in the wrong but she's so far down the path she can't let go anymore. Sure she causes a lot of damage, but later on Glimmer causes a major issue when she trusts Shadow Weaver and messes with the Heart of Etheria because she's gone to far down a path she shouldn't have gone as well.
These memories, the one where Adora tells her nothing can just them as long as they have eachother is clearly something Catra had to rely on her whole life. Then suddenly Adora and that promise were gone. Catra had to be Adora's obedient pet the whole time they were in the Fright Zone, but that also means she had to believe the things Adora did and make sure she proved it, and that's a belief in the Horde.
People like to talk about the brain washing Hordak went through with Horde Prime. But what about the brain washing the orphans and cadets went through in the Fright Zone? Lonnie, Kyle, Regalio? They all happily fought for the Horde and took joy in taking down towns in season 4.
We always see Catra being both nice and an ass to Adora throughout the series. But to me it shows the conflict in Catra. She loves Adora, but part of her know she's Adora's pet and she rebels against this and takes it out on Adora, but the other part loves Adora and can't bear to be away from her. Adora doesn't understand it because all she sees is herself being treated very well and always saving Catra. She doesn't see what Catra really goes through, even though she knows that she's treated bad. Adora then gets a destiny, a life changing field trip and a bunch of new friends, then she just leaves and expects Catra to leave with her. But Catra doesn't have the same experience as Adora, all she sees is her best friend/The only reason she's still alive abandoning everything they were both dedicated to.
At the end of the episode Catra makes a choice, she can either wallow and want Adora back, or let go of Adora and move on. Catra tells Adora what living in her shadow is like and Adora is acting like it's the first time she has ever considered how everything affected Catra, she apologises but to Catra it's to late.
Scorpia tells Entrapta that Catra is the best friend ever, and you can see Catra stop for a second but we don't see her face. You can tell this comment has stopped her in her tracks, perhaps she does want to be a best friend again on her own merit, but she just won't allow herself to go down that road again. But this is ultimately the thing that causes her to lose everything.
Anyway, rant over, I'm glad it all ended happily 😊
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ghostbread892 · 4 years
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Fly with me
Pairing: Geralt x jaskier
Warnings: Near death experience, Love confession, Fluff, Oblivious boys, Roach has the braincell, Hurt/comfort, Soft jaskier, hurt geralt
A/N: I really liked this one and I hope you guys do too-
Summary: Jaskier throws his lute into the mud to distract the monster that about to kill geralt and it ends up needing to get repaired, chaos ensues and unknown feelings come to light
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During his time on the path, Geralt never got to experience the little things life created. He only focused on getting coin and never being in the same place twice, he knew that if he stayed in the same place for too long someone would eventually grow tired of him and kick him out like many villages before had done, he had gotten used to the rinse and repeat routine he'd established for decades. He never truly got to experience what it was like to wake up calm, inhaling the scent of freshly bloomed flowers and the natural scent of the air after a long rainstorm like he had been able to do today. He knew this morning would be different, and in time he would realize that his whole day would be different as well.
He woke up to the sounds of singing and lute strings being plucked, his chest filled with relief that his bard hadn't been taken during his slumber. Something which he would've been able to notice but he feared he would be too slow to save him. He paused and went back over his inner dialogue again, 𝙝𝙞𝙨 bard, he'd gotten so used to this tiny human that his brain had claimed him already. This brought a warm feeling to his heart and made an unusual flush take over his normally stoic features.
No no, the bard wasn't his, as much as he would like that, the bard wasn't his to claim and even if he was, who in their right mind would love someone as monstrous as him. That thought brought a sour taste to his mouth, so he pushed it back and started getting their camp packed up, already thinking of where to head next and what monsters he would find in these parts.
~
They reach a village by dusk; Jaskier having been extra talkative and excited the whole day, but Geralt couldn't seem to figure out why which annoyed him to no end due to possibly not knowing or forgetting a special day for his bard. He paused again, the blush returning to his neck as he thought of the bard being his before he clenched his jaw and scoffed, as if a human could ever love a witcher. He continued walking whilst trying to keep his mind off Jaskier, which proved to be more difficult than it should've been. He ended up quietly talking to Roach as they made their way over to the closest inn, completely unaware of how Jaskier had gone quiet and was staring at his witcher with a lovestruck expression.
When they reached the inn he motioned Jaskier to go in to get them a room and food, while he saw to Roach and left her as comfortable as their coin could leave her, and checked for any contracts.
He found one for a fiend in the woods behind the tavern opposite of the inn and took it, he then made his way up to their room using his senses to locate jaskiers specific scent. One that he'd grown to love and that often calmed him when he woke up sweating and panting from a nightmare of the fears that haunted him as a child and that still haunt him even in his decades of life.
Once he got there he put his packs down before sitting down on the small table near the fireplace to eat the food Jaskier had got them, which was a mug of watered down ale that tasted like swamp water and a bowl of rabbit stew that had way too many unseasoned vegetables and hardly any rabbit, but it was enough to fill him up for his hunt so he ate it. Not before giving Jaskier an amused look as he went into a speech about how inns should be more greatful of their guests and give them better food, he chipped in now and then to correct Jaskier about small things just to watch him flush a soft pink, looking alarmed before continuing with his rant.
When he finished his food Jaskier was still rambling so he took a moment to look at his companion; the companion who has cornflower blue eyes that beam whenever Geralt brings him small gifts like lute strings or oils for his collection, who has hands that he fidgets with when he's nervous and shake when he's inspired to write something but too busy too get his book out, who's smile never fails to make Geralts world brighter even after seeing it for a decade, who's words still leave him speechless when he talks about something he likes because goddamn Jaskier knows how to treat each word with such gentleness that it could melt his heart, who sings away his sorrows and helps Geralt remember what happiness and joy feel like whenever he talks, the companion who has stayed by his side through ups and downs, and the companion that Geralt found himself loving more every single day.
He snaps out of his lovestruck haze when he smells the foul stench of fear and worry.
Looking up to see Jaskier reading through the contract with a frown on his face before looking up and sighing "Beloved, are you sure this is safe? I mean I know you're strong enough and trust your judgement but this sounds very dangerous and as much as I like having coin I wouldn't want to ruin my clothes, which were very expensive mind you, by going to drag you out of whatever hole you fell in and thats-"
He stops when Geralt gives him a fond look, "Jask I'll be fine, it's not that hard, I'll be back by daybreak" He rumbles out, seeing how it visibly affects his bard, making him shiver in place and gulp roughly, causing him swallow out of the sudden dryness in his throat.
He shakes the thoughts out of his head before getting up to grab everything he needs for his hunt, not looking over at Jaskiers direction on purpose because he needs to be focused.
He can feel Jaskiers eyes on him the entire time and can basically taste the worry radiating off him like the stench of a kikimora but he doesn't have time to calm him down. Even if Jaskier is the love of his life, his soulmate, his everything, he can't put his focus on anything else other than the monster of he'll be too slow.
Just as he's heading out the door he feels two arms wrap around his stomach and Jaskier press himself as close as their bodies allow him too. Geralt feels his heart stop, just as he feels his lungs collapse from emotion, his brain not capable of processing that for the first time in all the years he's been alive someone is holding him, someone fears that he may never come back and that scares them. He can feel Jaskiers heart accelerate just as he can feel his own.
"Please be careful, dear heart" Jaskier whispers, sounding like a wife saying goodbye to her husband who's about to go save his kingdom in the battlefield. It makes him feel special, wanted, 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙.
He takes a moment to calm both himself and his heart before humming softly in confirmation, "I'll be back by daybreak, I promise, little lark" He quietly grumbles back, not used to having to express his emotions through words.
Jaskier seems satisfied with his answer and let's him go, not before leaving a kiss on Geralts shoulder blade, even if it was covered with armor Geralt felt the kiss in his soul and it gave him more of a reason to come back to his little lark.
He walks out of their room and towards the stables, setting up roach for the long night of monster hunting ahead of them. He let's out a small smile and gently pats her nose to which she huffs and pushes against his hand, making him chuckle softly, "let's go girl" and with that they take off, not knowing that this night might end with something neither him or Roach had planned.
~
He doesn't know how it happened.
One moment he was landing the killing strike and the next he was on the ground, a gash made from its horns going right along his chest to his ribs.
He knows he's too weak too get up and without his potions, which were shattered mid battle he has nothing to do but wait.
He starts thinking about everything he's every done. Kind of ironic since they say your life flashes before your eyes as you take your last breath. To him it sure feels like it.
He thinks back to when his mother left him on the road for Vesimir to find and train as a Witcher. How much he had to endure during the trails just to end up alone in the end.
Alone? That's not right; he has Jaskier now. Jaskier who's probably worried sick back in their room, who even when Geralt has looked more beast than man has smiled at him, not showing any fear even when Geralt spat nasty words at him to get him to leave, who even after Geralt hurt him, came back because he wanted to, because he wanted Geralt to be the person he spends his life with.
Geralt had never felt more joy than being with Jaskier when they would travel together, his bard chattering like always while Geralt listened, listened because he cared and loved everything about Jaskier.
From the way his eyes crinkle with happiness when he sees something pretty, to when he taps his fingers to a beat when composing his next song.
He knows Jaskier will move on, his bard is one of the strongest and most courageous person he has ever had the luck of meeting.
His little lark will find someone else who can always be there for him, not having to worry about dying every minute, and that Geralt thinks, is how it should be. He let's a small tear slip as he's falling unconscious, not worried in the slightest because he knows that his lark will learn to fly again, even without him.
~
When he woke up again there was someone screaming and a monster weakly roaring.
It turns out that the fiend was still alive and that Jaskier was trying to distract it, that dumb bard was trying to distract a fucking flesh eating monster without a sword to protect himself.
Geralt doesn't know what fueled him but the next thing he knows is that Jaskier throws his lute far away, catching the fiends attention long enough for Geralt to get close enough to slice it's head clean off.
After he collapses, Jaskier being faster and catching the Witcher in his arms. He can feel jaskier shaking and something wet splashing on his face.
"Jask- Jaskier?" He rasped out after jaskier forced one of his potions down his throat, him already feeling the effects of the potion healing him.
Jaskier shushes him, snifling softly while rocking them both back and forth, "You stupid, stupid Witcher, I told you to be careful" He whispered while holding Geralt to his chest, in an awkward position too.
Then Geralt realizes something; his lark is listening to his heart. This hits Geralt harder than it should but it does, his lark was so afraid of losing him that he wanted to lay his head on top of Geralts heart. As if listening to the beat made everything better.
This realization made something warm spread throughout Geralts chest. He lifted his arm and hugged his bard back as much as he could, softly stroking through his hair.
"It's okay little lark, I'm here, you can let it out" He whispered, knowing that Jaskier was holding back his tears and even if he couldn't bear the thought of his lark crying, he had to let him get the grief off his chest before they could walk back to their room.
As if on cue, Jaskier started to sob, gripping tightly onto Geralts chest plates as if he thought that if he let go, Geralt would disappear.
After a while, they got up and headed back to the inn with the proof of the monster being dead, Jaskiers destroyed lute, and whatever they could salvage from the fiend.
After they got to their room and had a bath is when Geralt realized what happened to Jaskiers lute. He softly put his hand on top of Jaskiers, which was stroking his now dirty lute.
"You shouldn't have risked your life like that for me, jask" He whispered softly, looking down at the dirty lute and wincing, because be knew this was his fault. Jaskier on the other hand seemed offended by that comment, "No no, you do not get to play that card with me Witcher, you almost died out there and I wasn't just going to sit around and watch you die like that" He said in defiance, his face twisting into a frown that only made him cuter in Geralts eyes.
"You love that lute like a child, little lark" He spoke quietly as if afraid to get Jaskier mad at him. At his words, Jaskier softened,
"So that's what this is about huh?" He asked in a softer tone, "Geralt, while it is true that I love this lute a lot, it is replaceable and there are so many just like this one all over the world." He turned to look at Geralt, letting the lute lean on the bed frame as he took Geralts hands in his. Which left Geralt breathless at the softness, he never experienced something so intimate and his brain almost went into shut down mode before he managed to calm himself down.
Jaskier gazed into Geralts eyes, letting him see all the love and adoration he felt for his dear Witcher, "The reason I love this lute so much, is because you gave it to me, darling" He smiled, his thumb rubbing Geralts hands soothingly as he felt his lungs collapse from how hard those words punched him.
"What? " He breathed out, unable to form a clear sentence in his daze.
"Granted, you didn't directly give it to me, but it's a reminder of the first adventure we went on together" He paused and squared his shoulders leaning in to press his forehead against Geralts, and softly, sweetly, and so gently that Geralt thought he might collapse he said, "A reminder of when I started to fall in love with you, my white wolf"
And with that sentence everything became clear, after four decades of traveling together, everything made sense. He knew now that he wasn't alone on this boat of love, softly drifting with the current through calm waters, watching as the sun sets and the flowers bloom.
He leaned in, closing the gap between them, sharing the sweetest kiss he'd ever been given and that when he knew that even if they had their ups and downs, close calls, and awkward moments; they would both rely on each other and learn to fly together, because in the end, his little lark still had a lot to learn about life, and he would be there to teach him every step of the way.
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