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#because the cats an asshole

I think you’re really telling on yourself if you react with upset and anger and denial when faced with evidence against something you do or believe in, and instead of thinking “hmm, am I feeling angry or upset when faced with concrete facts against something I think is ok? maybe I should look deeper into myself to fix that and experience Growth”, you yell “NO, you cant CONTROL me, Im gonna do what I WANT to do, and you CANT stop me” 

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I was all set to stream the hockey game when I realized it would be nationally televised (because it’s an outdoor game between two of the best teams in the league, duh)

I was all set to listen to the radio broadcast when all of the streams crapped out

I sat through literally 45-60 min of intermission/deliberation after the first period (because there was direct sun on like a third of the ice, so it was turning everything to slush and the ice kept having to be patched between plays, so everyone was like “mmm is it actually a smart idea to keep playing right now???”)

…only to find out that they would be postponing the game to later today (great!! Safest choice for all involved!)

…at 9 PM Lake Tahoe time.

I WAS SO STOKED FOR AN AFTERNOON GAME OUTSIDE BUT NOOOOOOOOO now I can’t even listen to the last couple periods because it’s only 10:30 and I’m already falling asleep, and I have a yoga thing tomorrow (self-massage, teachers-only… gonna be good) at 10, before which I need to buy my turnips… so… obviously I can’t stay up until like 2 AM for something that will rile me up even more so I stay up even later!!

I miss hockey. It’s been like a week and a half since I watched a game for various reasons.

MONDAY. Monday we will watch.

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Well… if nothing else, I’m figuring out that when nothing is appealing, I don’t need extra distraction, I need novelty

I can’t identify the intermediate stages between “normal level of stress” and “peak anxiety when no coping mechanisms work”, but, you know, that’s the end goal or something

Anyway I cleaned out my downloads folder and typed some paper notes into zotero before I got the “ugh I hate everything” feeling and decided to think about it instead of clicking play on the next episode of crimebrime, so obviously all of those are wins

I am still stressed because I’m about to miss this deadline that I SET FOR MYSELF to get a rough draft of a less-outliney outline to the profs I’m working with… but I know for a fact one of them isn’t going to look at it this weekend anyway, and I hope the other wouldn’t too. So. Really. I guess I have until Sunday. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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im not gonna give val bpd because im still stuck on his emotional shit being because hes Just Like That. like i didnt want it to be “poor val is rude because hes Mental Illness and can’t help it” i wanted it to be “god this guy is insufferable” like hes just hateable. shitbaby. and if youre one of the ultra vs you love him dearly and know how to annoy him in all the right ways

dont rb

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Me: I’m trying to WORK

My cat: …

Me: my lap is OCCUPIED

My cat: but what if I sweetly lick your fingers?

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my dad just said “no one in this house is responsible enough for a cat” because our new kitten woke him up with her meowing after i had to leave her by herself for maybe five minutes while i fed our other cats & went to the bathroom (she has separation anxiety, but she has to be quarantined for the next week or so because she has a cold). but like what the fuck did he expect me to do? what exactly would’ve been the “responsible” thing to do? bring her around the house with me? let her infect our other cat johnny, who we found out a month ago is literally fucking dying of kidney disease????? for fucks sake 🙄

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I like how my parents are like promising me they’ll help me get my feet on the ground for when I move out and stuff and then in the same breath tell me that on top of my service dog I’ll also have to take two of our family’s cats. So when

I’m living on my own for the first time, I’ll have to take care of three animals right out the gate. Obviously I knew i would have my service dog, cause no shit. But I didn’t think I’d have the two cats. I knew I’d have Xena because she literally has separation anxiety when I’m sitting in a different room than her, but Thomas…He’s technically my sister’s cat that she didn’t take when she moved out with her fiance so I guess he’s mine now. I love him to death but you get my point right?

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Not a day goes by where I don’t burst into random angry rant about Mark’s whole storyline while pacing around my apartment. Patates is like: Bitch, again?? Shut the fuck up!!

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