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#because we learn from our mistakes we got some water every 4 or 5 beers and he was like 'are you drinking vodka?!' LMAO NO WTF!
sallycinnamons · 2 years
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CUTE BRITISH GUY NICI LET'S GOOOO
how he saw me in that bar
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n-slayaaaaa · 4 years
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Walk Through Fire
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Summary: When a group mission goes South, Peter’s best friend and girlfriend goes missing behind enemy lines. After a week you return and he goes to the ends of the earth to help you remember who you are.
Warnings: cursing, shock therapy
Pairings: Peter Parker x reader, Peter Parker x black reader
Tagged: @143amberrose @supernerdycookietrashblr @charmed-asylum
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Peter Benjamin Parker was physically sick for the days you had been missing. He refused to eat and barely drank water. Everything he did or felt reminded him of you. How loud your laugh was but he would give anything to hear it again. How you would bounce off the walls with infectious energy that distracted him from studying. How you made fun of his dancing when he was being serious or trying to make you laugh. How your soft lips healed him when he was having a rough day and made things brighter.
Peter Benjamin Parker was physically sick with every passing night that he didn’t have you in his arms. Every night he knew HYDRA had you in their clutches and he couldn’t save you. How he let down your father’s last deal with him. His failure to protect you at all costs. You were so excited for the mission because you wanted to avenge your dear friend Bucky Barnes so badly. To do something that would make Uncle Steve Rogers so happy when you visited him and Peggy at their retirement home next week. Now you would never get to tell them.
It was 3 in the morning and Peter couldn’t sleep again. There was a rescue mission going on and your life was on the line. He was absolutely forbidden from going, the team was afraid a situation similar to Peter Quill’s would arise since there were high emotions. Peter tried to fight it but he knew they would never let him go. So as the clock ticked to 4 in the morning, 5 in the morning, and 6 in the morning he waited. Hoping that you would burst into the room and jump on him, attacking his face with kisses. But that never came.
It was 7 am when he got word that the team was back. He had never ran so quickly around the compound before, in a rush to find another human life. To find you. When he hit the corner he saw them in the lounge area, sitting and whispering to each other.
“Where is she?” He asked. “You found her right? Right? Is she okay?” He questioned further.
Thor gave the boy a look. “The little Stark has been retrieved yes but—”
“But there’s something ... wrong.” Bucky interrupted. “She was with HYDRA for a long time and someone with her elemental abilities is a hot commodity.”
Peter wasn’t following. “What are you trying to say?”
He looked for any sign of hope. Scott Lang had his head down. Carol Danvers frowned. Sam Wilson was straighfaced. And Happy was ... well he was frustrated.
“Y/N’s in holding. They practically handed her over to us without a fight because they brainwashed her. Used the same formula that they used on me.” Bucky sighed to himself. His own demons being projected onto someone else because he couldn’t save her. He was severely upset. “Y/N’s not well Peter. And she just needs to be alone for a while until we figure this out. Okay?”
Peter was breathing heavy. He hoped for the best while she was away. That maybe they would leave her alone and just place her in a cell which was somewhat harmless. But Peter heard the stories of Bucky Barnes’ torture and knew you faced the same fate. Being shocked until you couldn’t remember your name. Starved. Sleep deprived. Beaten. Probably forced to kill for them. He wouldn’t stand for it.
“I want to see her.” He said confidently. “Maybe seeing me will help? Help bring some of those memories back. I can show her pictures and songs, let me go get my phone and then I’ll go see—”
Barnes put a hand on the kids shoulder. “She can’t see people right now.” He said softly.
Peter shook his head. “No, I’m going to see Y/N. You wouldn’t let me come on the mission to save her so I’m going to visit her and try to bring my Y/N back!” Peter raised his voice. Slamming his fist on the table.
“Your access is restricted, kid! You. Can. Not. Go. In. There. Not until we figure this out.” Happy had enough. He was upset and frustrated and trying to figure out how he was going to explain this to Pepper and Morgan. You were never supposed to go on the mission but they promised it was small. Nothing would happen to her. But he should have known things could go wrong. Now he blamed himself.
Bucky nodded. “Go get some sleep. Take a shower. Eat something. We’re going to get her back, kid.”
And that’s what Peter did. While he devised a plan to see you he pretended as if everything was normal. He cleaned himself up. Got rid of the purple bags under his eyes. Even got some homework done and once the week was up, he found a way to sneak to see you. He knew where holding was so getting down there wouldn’t be the hard part, it was getting access that would be tricky.
He got Thor’s fingerprint off of a beer can using tape. He knew the holding area had many cameras so he scaled the walls and webbed them all, knowing they would dissolve in a few hours. He wanted to see you after almost three weeks of being away from him. He wanted to make you better and return to normal. Truth be told you never knew the meaning of that word.
Peter placed the piece of tape onto the thumb pad, allowing him access into the cells. No one was down here except for you and you were right at the end of the hall. As Peter neared his spidey sense threatened to go haywire. He ignored it, hoping it was just jitters. He was five feet away from the glass when he finally saw you restrained.
You were bruised, some looked fresh while others were turning green as they healed. Your hands were tied next to you, feet tied in front of you to the bed you laid on. You stared at him with no emotion. No sign of happiness or sadness. Those lips he loved so much were in a fine line.
He typed in the key code he obtained from Thor’s files and stepped in the room. You kept staring straight, not acknowledging his presence.
“Y/N?” He called out softly.
No response.
“Y/N?” He called again.
You didn’t move an inch. Peter barely saw you take a breath. You were immensely pale and your hair was now black after a reaction to whatever the scientists injected you with. There was bruising on your temples from the extensive rounds of shock therapy you were subjected to.
Peter stood in front of you. Intimidated by the cold death stare on your face. “I-I wanted to see you. I know something happened while you were away and we don’t have to talk about it. I just wanted to show you some things that might help you remember who you are. Who you are to me.” You only blinked. Which was more than what Peter expected to be honest.
He grabbed his phone from his back pocket. Unlocking it and opening up the folder of the two of you in his photos. “M-My name’s Peter. Peter Parker and I’m your boyfriend but we’ve been friends since we were thirteen. Here’s us at our first science fair.” He held his phone by your face. Showing the two of you in lab coats and goggles in front of a baking soda volcano. “Oh and here’s us at Oscorp Industries. You were with me when I got the spider bite and called me a wimp.”
Your eyes shifted from the phone to him and then back to the phone. Peter saw it as progress since you were starting to unwind a little. “Uh, there’s the pictures of us at prom but I didn’t look too good in this. You were gorgeous though and I was happy to have you with me all nig—oh! This is from our summer trip to Europe ... it was messy.” It was a photo of you and him at a restaurant in Venice.
With each imagine your head felt like it was splitting. You body was burning all over and you were ready to combust. Seeing someone you didn’t recognize mixed with your target was overwhelming. You tugged on the restraint which Peter noticed. He closed the photos. “Okay, I don’t think you liked those but you love this. I know you do. I know you do.” He repeated. Praying that this plan worked. He opened his music and searched for an artist. When he found it he smiled. “This is your favorite song. It just came out but you played it non stop. Here listen.”
Walk in your rainbow paradise
Strawberry lipstick state of mind
I get so lost inside your eyes
Would you believe it?
He played the song for you with hopeful eyes. He hoped that if nothing else worked then Harry Styles would. He remembered when he was in your room at the compound listening to music and this came on. He started doing the dance from the video and you laughed for hours. Peter tried everything to trigger your memories but he hadn’t tried that.
“You don’t have to save you love me. I just wanna tell you somethin’. Lately you’ve been on my mind. Honey!” Peter sang along. Searching for any response from you but you only kept tugging at the restraints. Your eyes blinking rapidly as your head was pounding. You had to finish your mission but you couldn’t. Not held back like this. “I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore you.” Peter sang again. Doing the little dance you liked.
He turned around to see you softer. You appeared less hostile as you sat there. It was a single tear that ran across your cheek that made him worry. By instinct his hand reached your face to try and wipe it away, not realizing his mistake. Your leg broke free from the buckle and kicked the wind out of him. Peter was sent flying back across the white floor. While he was temporarily disoriented you were able to completely free yourself from the bed. He raised a wrist trying to web you but you did a backflip to avoid it. He was frightened to learn his webs were disabled.
Peter was stunned. He knew you weren’t that flexible so whatever HYDRA did to you, they hoped you would replace Bucky in super soldier qualities. And after years of perfecting the serum they attempted to make you better than him. You tried setting the outer perimeter of the room on fire, quickly learning your abilities were no good here. You charged at Peter who was posted to fight. He reached to grab you and you slid between his legs. When you popped up on the other side you punched him in the back and kicked in the back of his legs, sending him falling to his knees. You repeatedly punched him in the face and smiling as blood coated your hands.
When he was out of breath you jumped up, wrapping your ankles around his neck and sending him straight to the floor with you. You were squeezing the life out of him since he was too weak to fight back. It seemed like your mission would be completed but in the nick of time you were snatched off of him. Bucky had your neck in a chokehold with his forearm. Carol had to hold onto your legs and Sam was trying to help Peter off of the floor.
You screamed loudly to the top of your lungs and thrashed about until the air was gone and you were on the floor. You laid there unconsciously and Bucky sighed. Examining the blood on your white shirt and floor. Things were worse than he had thought.
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hippychick006 · 4 years
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15.10: The Heroes Journey - Episode Review/Recap
Haven’t done one of these for a while, but I really wanted to watch this episode. I’ve seen mixed feedback on it and wanted to put down my own thoughts. As always, due to it being show critical, it’s under a cut. Everyone looking for positivity, zero criticism, rainbows and puppies can scroll on by.
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I’ve seen Hellers moan about what the “bibros” issue with this episode is, given that the brothers are together so what have we to complain about? And if nothing sums up the Hellers more, it’s that mentality. Castiel doesn’t even have to be in the same episode and they are still happy because apparently, Castiel was a lamp in this episode. I mean, how dare I be so entitled to have higher standards than just having them finally be in the same episode and working on the same case. How dare I expect that the episode actually be… gasp…good.
I’ve also seen other people try to say (with no supporting evidence whatsoever by the way) that The Heroes Journey is the same as Bad Day at Black Rock (BDABR) or Yellow Fever. You are free to say this all you want and you’d still be wrong. It isn’t the same in any way, shape or form. It’s so much not the same and that is why you’re seeing criticism and not because people just don’t like Dabb. The Heroes Journey is a bad writer’s attempt at trying to write an episode like BDABR and they failed. They. Are. Not. The. Fucking. Same!
In BDABR, and Yellow Fever, both episodes had a very well explained reason within the episode for why Sam (in BDABR) and Dean (in Yellow Fever) were acting the way they were. This is why within the context of that episode, you could suspend disbelief that Dean was scared because the ghost sickness made him that way. You could accept Sam trip over the lamp because losing the rabbit’s foot made him unlucky. French Mistake, another meta episode, was funny because Sam and Dean were fish out of water. I still laugh at the scene where Dean stabs Sam with the fake knife or they have to act and they are terrible at it. It was very clever writing and everything that happened made sense within the clearly defined context of the episode. That clear definition is what made it funny and more importantly, the humour wasn’t done at either of the Winchester or audiences’ expense.
In The Heroes Journey, it wasn’t explained in the episode, it was guessed at by Dean and Garth, but they didn’t really get to the bottom of it, which left a lot of holes for me in trying to understand the “rules” of the game being played. I could give the benefit of the doubt it will get explained in an upcoming episode, but likely not as it’s Dabb and he’s a lazy fucker that doesn’t care if things like this get tied up.  He just relies on people to try to make sense of things themselves which I’ve seen plenty of people rush to do. However, I don’t want meta or speculation to fill in the gaps to justify something that happens, particularly when the entire episode revolves around it. I want the writing to be decent in the first place so no one has to do that.
Overall, although not the worst episode ever, The Heroes Journey just doesn’t make sense to me. And I’ll try to break down where it works and where it fails.
From a positive perspective, I thought the settings, lighting, make-up, choice of camera angles, the filming techniques used, the editing, the casting of the key guest stars etc. were all good. I thought the episode was let down by some of the choices of the music, but in fairness I’ve felt the music choices in the later seasons of supernatural have been questionable and overpower the scene rather than compliment it, which is what music should do. Going scene by scene;
Cage Fight Scene
In addition to great setting, lighting etc. I liked the choice of camera angles and the mix of slo mo with live action. I liked the sound going between being laser focused on the fight and widening out to encompass the crowd. I thought it was used to very good effect. I thought both guest actors and the extras were great, and in contrast to the previous episode, they did the fake teeth very well and that may also have been down to the actor himself. I absolutely love piano music, but I didn’t get the use of it here, it did not work in the context of the scene (or that particular music did not work and maybe another piano piece would have). Overall though, I liked this scene and watched it a couple of times to do it justice. We’re currently at the 3 minute mark and I’ve been happily entertained without Sam or Dean in sight. I don’t need Sam and/or Dean to be in a scene to enjoy it as long as it’s well done and fits within the overall plot so great job show on this scene.  👍  
It goes downhill from here.
Dean shopping/Sam cooking Scene
After sobbing at the loss of cutie werewolf guy, we move on to a scene that alternates between Dean shopping in town and Sam in the bunker cooking (I accept the head-canon that this is for Dean’s birthday dinner 😍 so Wincest for the win).
Sometimes Supernatural doesn’t do switching back and forth between scenes very well, giving the viewer whiplash. I think they did okay here.
I really liked the shot through the window of baby being ticketed, I genuinely laughed that Dean didn’t notice. The only thing wrong with this scene so far, is that Chuck damn awful music. Bad choice and is starting to annoy.
So in this scene, we see the first misfortune, and for every misfortune we see in the episode, I’m going to consider two key questions; 1) Were they hit with the stupid stick, 2) Is it believable that the misfortune has not happened before.
Misfortune #1 – baby being ticketed. 
Was Dean hit by the stupid stick to make this misfortune work? No. 
 Is it believable that the misfortune has not happened before? I think the episode managed to show that okay so, Yes.
We go with the annoying music over to Sam. Sam’s cooking which honestly, he’s 6’ 4” of beautiful perfection already and he can cook using more than one pot? 😍. Or maybe not as the smoke alarm is going off and the water is in danger of boiling over.
We switch back to Dean at the store and I love the interaction with the clerk. Again I genuinely laughed. Dean: What’s new? Clerk (scratching his face): my psoriasis is back. Dean: Oh… Dean’s face here. 😂. He really didn’t want to know. The clerk was not following the protocols of polite conversation with people that are not strangers but not friends either. But what I love about this scene is that it shows Dean (and Sam) are know well enough in the town that they get the locals genuinely thinking they are interested in them and they really are not. This is small towns for you.
Sam uses his hands to take whatever that burning thing is out of the hot oven (I’ve seen people say a roast of some sort, but I’m thinking more likely garlic bread to go with the pasta, but I didn’t see it clearly enough on my screen to be sure). Unsurprisingly, Sam burns his hands.
Misfortune #2 – Sam burns his hands
Was Sam hit by the stupid stick to make this misfortune work? Yes, because it relies on Sam being dumb, and if you really think Sam doesn’t know to grab at the very least a dish towel instead of using his hands, you’ve got a far lower opinion of Sam than I have. This misfortune is not believable so it’s not funny.
Is it believable that the misfortune has not happened before? It’s 100% likely this misfortune hasn’t happened after Sam reached the age of 2. 🙄
Back with Dean and I think he cracked a tooth on the candy bar he was eating. He hands over a credit card which seems to repeatedly fail.
Misfortune #3 – Dean has toothache
Was he hit with the stupid stick for this misfortune? No.
Is it believable that this has not happened before. Not really, our teeth can be okay right up until they aren’t. It’s easy to crack a failing tooth on a hard piece of candy. What makes this scene funny for me though is the fact that despite the pain Dean’s obviously in, he still tries to eat the candy bar. That was funny and I have no issue with this scene. But we’ll come back to the teeth thing later.
Back with Sam who is so fucking dumb and obviously learned nothing from touching hot metal only seconds before… because he once again touches hot metal and drops the pasta pot on the floor, Dean’s birthday pasta dinner is now in ruins. Ha ha, how I laughed and laughed at this scene… not really.
Misfortune #4 – Sam picks up metal pot and burns himself again
Does it rely on Sam being hit with the stupid stick? Yes, it’s not funny.
Is it believable this hasn’t happened before? I’ve covered this, Sam isn’t stupid show!
Back with Dean, and the credit card gets declined and Dean’s groceries get taken away, including his beer and partially eaten candy bar.
Misfortune #5 – credit card declined
Does this misfortune rely on Dean being hit with the stupid stick? No, it’s an external factor, and believable.
Is it believable that the misfortune has not happened before? Yes, The episode covers this in conversation between Sam and Dean, this has not happened before and should not have happened.
Dean leaves the store and almost gets run over by a skateboarder (not slapped by stupid stick but not convinced something similar hasn’t happened before, they kept bumping into that girl in the street in mystery spot and I’m sure there’s other instances if I bothered to go looking). Dean’s reaction when he discovers baby has been ticketed though. Funny 😂
Back with Sam and he’s still in the kitchen looking at the ruined pasta when Dean returns, and we’ll “suspend disbelief” that time works in that way. Anyway, show is immediately forgiven as I get not one, but two SAMMEH’s to placate me. This show is awesome (not really).
Sam runs to Dean, because they’ve probably been separated all of twenty minutes by this point (less if Dean teleported both there and back). Sam trips and the jury’s out on this one.
Misfortune #6 – Sam tripping
Does it rely on Sam being slapped with the stupid stick? Somewhat, he’s not in control of his limbs and this is verging into not believable territory for me. I’ve seen someone else say his grace has been taken, but let’s look at the second question
Is it believable that the misfortune has not happened before? No, Sam has tripped before. He broke his wrist in season 2 tripping while running ffs. He broke his arm as a kid jumping off of something. If I could be bothered, I’d go looking for other instances – e.g. off the top of my head he wasn’t very stable on his feet when they came through the portal to the AU world. So this misfortune doesn’t work for me in what they are trying to show within the episode.
Anyway, Dean explains about the parking ticket, and it’s clear Sam’s warned him about parking there so Dean’s lucky not to have been ticketed before now. He tells Sam that the fake credit card Charlie hacked for them got declined. (I’m presuming Charlie as opposed to her AU doppelgänger). I like the explanation of how they’ve been getting money as I know some people always wondered, and unlike Dabb attempting to explain other things badly *cough* Sam hating Halloween *cough*, he doesn’t really fuck this one up. As an aside, I don’t mind Charlie is a character that has computer skills, I do mind that Sam’s own hacking skills were watered down needlessly and that took away one of Sam’s core skills. Anyway, before I get too bitter, we’ll move on…
Sam sneezes and I think using his sleeve is such a Jared thing to do, rather than sam. It’s cute though, I’ll let it slide.
Misfortune #7 – Sam gets ill
Does Sam being sick rely on him being slapped with the stupid stick? No
Is it believable that it has not happened before? No, I just don’t buy he’s never been sick and don’t think this is backed up in the show. In fact in 8.21, The Great Escapist, Dean brings a trials sick Sam food and says: “Alright, here we go. John Winchester's famous cure-all kitchen sink stew. There you go. Enough cayenne pepper in there to burn your lips off, just like Dad used to make.” Why would John Winchester have a cure all stew if they are never Ill from normal human things (I’m aware trials sick Sam isn’t a normal illness doesn’t count). But no, I don’t believe they were never sick before now.
In summary of all of this, I think the issues that happened to Dean work reasonably well. They are factors that don’t require Dean to forget basic things like hot metal = burny fingers. My two year old understood this and Sam can’t? Get the fuck out of here with that nonsense. So Sam’s misfortunes don’t work for me as they rely on Sam being a complete dumbass or me suspending belief that the Winchesters have never had an injury or been ill when I’ve watched the show and seen that they both have. It just illustrates what in theory could have been a good concept, but it��s poorly executed through lazy writing and poor characterisation. In short, Dabb at his finest. He wants something to happen and doesn’t care about the character to make it happen.
Anyway, Garth’s call saves me and you from further ranting, and he needs their help, and given he’s a werewolf, I think it’s safe to say that he’s our connection to the opening scene so nice tie in.
Driving to Garth’s Scene
On the drive to Garth’s, we get a broment in the car, Dean speculates they are cursed, Sam thinks they are just having a bad day, and from what I’ve seen so far, I agree with Sam. But Dean doesn’t think any of this is normal. Sam continues to sneeze while the piano music continues to annoy intermittently.
Cass mention! Thank fuck. I thought we were going to get through one episode without the obligatory mention of him off doing something completely useless that we don’t care about, but no, got to keep his psychotic fans happy at the expense of the rest of the audience that don’t give a fuck and are wondering what happened to their beautiful, beautiful show and why that weird guy in the trenchcoat keeps getting mentioned these days. 🙄
Sam’s still not convinced they aren’t dealing with normal things, but baby takes that moment to break down. I love Dean talking to baby here. Been there Dean, out in the middle of the arse end of nowhere, in the middle of the night and you break down. I like this scene.
Misfortune #8 – baby breaking down
Does baby breaking down rely on Dean being slapped with the stupid stick? No.
Is it believable that it hasn’t happened before? I can believe that baby breaking down is unusual as Dean has been shown to keep her in tip top condition with regular maintenance. I even remember the quote from John way back in season 1 that he wouldn’t have given Dean the car if he wasn’t going to take care of her, so Dean looks after that car. But baby breaking down never happened before? Not believable, I remember Dean teaching Sam car maintenance in an episode in season 3 and he certainly seemed to be repairing baby at the side of the road, so it’s not a believable misfortune for me.
Mechanic!Dean who built baby up from scratch in early season 2, doesn’t even take a look under the hood? They just start walking and leave her. I have safety concerns if nothing else. Do you guys not have hazard lights? Piano music is still annoying.
At Garth’s house Scene
The boys arrive at Garth’s house and yeah, Garth is friend/family, so close in fact that they don’t even know that Garth had more kids? I mean if they are selling friends/family don’t end in blood narrative, surely this would have made it on to Sam’s hunter newsletter? It’s just… not believable they wouldn’t already know this, but again sums up the writing.  Friends when they want them to be, never mentioned in between times.
I think the bit where Garth tells Sam he named the kid after him is funny because of Sam’s reaction, but then we get:
Dean: that means this one must be…
Garth: …Castiel
I’m supposed to laugh right? Har de har. 🙄 This line is funny only if you don’t bother to look beneath the surface. It’s a cheap joke at the expense of character I personally don’t see a character like Garth doing something like this and he would know how shitty it was to do that. I also want to point out that this is the second instance - so far - that if Castiel had been killed off when he should have been, these 2 pandering references and jokes at Dean’s expense wouldn’t have been in the script. Just saying; a lot of the reason for poor writing is inserting the waste of space into the narrative to placate his fans, so he not only ruins the scenes he’s in, he ruins a scene even when he isn’t in it.  Stop. The. Fucking. Pandering!
Oh cutie werewolf is okay. I’m so glad. I like the concept of this episode, bringing down a monster fight club. And as I mentioned before in another post, having Sam and Dean forced to take part in that fight club? Yeah, that would have been awesome. Sign me the fuck up for that episode. Why didn’t they write that? 
We leave sleeping beauty after Dean has cracked his tooth yet again on more food. Sam’s still sneezing, but Garth’s wife, Bess, has something to help.
Meanwhile, Garth talks to Dean about how happy he is, I’m hoping that we’re seeing Garth in a normal and happy life as a reminder to the Winchesters that while it works for some people, it’s not something they want anymore. They are happy with the way things are. Supernatural has been great for breaking the barriers that not everyone wants a romantic life partner, not everyone wants children and I’ve applauded their stance. To fuck that up now, after 15 seasons, and force the cheesy narrative that “everybody needs a partner and 2.4 kids in order to be happy”, I’ll be seriously pissed.
I’m okay that Garth was studying to be a dentist before becoming a hunter and finished his degree when he semi retired. I don’t think it’s out of the blue and unrealistic, unlike making Charlie a super duper hunter on the basis of reading books or Claire the best hunter eva without any real training. I also think from memory of Madison etc. that werewolves are naturally stronger than humans, so in theory Garth could manhandle Dean in the way he did. However, I’d caution that it isn’t good dental practice to force your patients to have surgery against their will.
We go between Sam and Dean again and I’m still not getting whiplash so it’s okay. Sam’s been given a secret cure for his cold which he downs in one. Turns out the main ingredient was cayenne. The little girl watches Sam in pain: “Mummy, the giant’s crying”. I’ll let this one slide. I don’t get references to “giant” and Sasquatch, he’s tall but not extremely so imo.
Sam licking his sleeve – which he sneezed all over earlier - I’m dying. 😂
Dean suddenly has 17 cavities? Again, this is played for the joke, and I’m not a dentist, but his teeth looked perfectly fine on the bottom row and we only have 28 teeth to start with, unless the wisdom teeth come in okay. In the context of the episode, is this believable? For me, no. They should just have stuck with a couple of cavities and there’s no way Dean (and Sam) have the teeth they do without visiting a dentist regularly. I’m really not buying that the Winchesters are not normal people with normal people problems. Dabb completely failed to sell this as realistic to me. I’m not interested in the premise either. It’s dumb and has the potential to ruin the concept of the entire show, which Dabb is more than capable of being incompetent enough to do.
Is gas still allowed? Wow, no, fuck that, fully sedate me. Thank you.
“Big Sam is okay” says big Sam as he’s rolling about the floor still in pain. Still funny.
Okay, Dean’s being put to sleep with the gas and wait, what?! I had to double check google to confirm that this is not realistic. I may not be a dentist, but I know Nitrous oxide does not knock you out or put you to sleep – which is the whole point of having it as opposed to sedation. You remain conscious and responsive at all times and you do not dream. Only sedation knocks you out (which I’ve had) and only rarely has a patient said they dreamed while under sedation (I’ve had it a few times and never once dreamed, you go to sleep and wake up and it’s as if you’ve lost time, it feels like no time has passed between going to sleep and waking up). But why bother doing research when you can still just collect your pay check, quality be damned! Right? Dabb wanted Dean to have a weird dream sequence and a weird dream sequence is what he was going to have!  And fuck anyone that expects a writer to do some god damn fucking research!  And don't come back at me because Kripke was as much an idiot with him not knowing how long you go to college for.  
Realism aside, I love the setting, I love the black and white, I love the lighting, I love that Jensen (and DJ) got the routine because this could have been a complete wirework part deux fiasco. I love that Jensen seems to be able to rise to anything thrown at him. I love his look at the end. Honestly, he is one sexy man. But… at the end of the day, I don’t think this scene worked for me. Would I rather have had a scene of Sam or Dean forced to fight monsters in the cage fight, yes please, sign me the fuck up. But Jensen did a great job with what he was asked to do so I can’t criticise him. I will criticise that they expected only 2 rehearsals to be enough and as I said before, this answers the wirework fiasco where actors train for months if wirework is involved.
One tap dance later and we’re back with Garth, and Dean’s mouth and face here. 😂
Garth twigs there’s something wrong and asks who they pissed off.
Sam shrugs: God
Okay, I do like when Garth asks if Sam and Dean are the heroes of the story, what does that make him, supporting character or special guest star? I use the term “side character” Garth for your future reference. Garth thinks for the first time in their lives that they are having “normal” people problems and I really, really, really do not buy that for several reasons.
Firstly, this whole episode relies on the premise that the Winchesters are not normal people who deal with normal problems, and that… just isn’t true. Sam’s broken bones at least 3 times, Dean’s broken his leg at least once, I don’t believe they’ve never been ill before and with the teeth they have, I don’t believe they don’t regularly visit a dentist. Going along with that premise just doesn’t work for me and means the episode and what happens within it was flawed from the start and I can’t suspend my disbelief and enjoy it because of the poor job they did setting this up. Sorry.
Secondly, I really, really, really don’t like the implication of what they are trying to say with this. Basically, the reason the Winchesters have been able to do what they’ve done is solely because of Chuck? They are able to fight only because of Chuck and not the years of practice and practical application in fighting monsters since before they reached double digits, Is that really the trash dumpster fire you’re trying to sell me here? Because I ain’t buying. That sounds like a terrible show that I’d be a little pissed at investing 15 years of my life watching.
Anyway, Cutie pie wakes up. Sam’s puppy dog eyes fail with him. This is not a drill, the puppy eyes fail, which get the fuck out, Sam is cute. He looks devastated. Bess is a stand in for Sam girls at this point, digging her fingernails into the werewolf formely known as cutie’s injury. Yeah, dickhead, you don’t fuck with Sam Winchester and not have us come after you. Anyway, Bess gets the location of the monster fight club and Sam and Dean are on the road.
Driving to fight club Scene
Love the shots of baby in this episode, and it’s clear that Dean at least still knows how to fix baby, so it’s only Sam that’s been made to look a twat in this episode. Good to know he’s not deserving of them putting any effort in. I suppose I should be grateful he’s not been knocked unconscious yet (yes, sometimes my bitter Sam girl can’t help but rise up in outrage).
Dean and Sam drive up to where the cage fights take place. This music is better. What the fuck Jensen, your Texan is showing in this scene. I can barely understand you. I like how Sam wants to prepare for anything when they get inside and Dean once again grabs the grenade launcher.
Dean eating sloppily, that never gets old, except when it does because Dean never ate sloppily before Tall Tales and its only funny in Tall Tales, because it’s Sam’s exaggeration of him.🙄
Inside Fight club Scene
Ah Sam’s been slapped with the stupid stick again. Ha ha. Seriously? I’m not even going to cover this, see misfortune #6 🙄
Dean’s lactose intolerant now, or he may just have overeaten on the cheese sandwiches. Since this isn’t making Dean incompetent, I can believe this is an external influence. I can also believe that Dean rarely, if ever vomits from food so it’s a believable misfortune.
I spoke too soon on Sam being knocked unconscious. 🙄 I think the thud we hear when Dean is throwing up in the toilet is Sam being knocked out. I’d say it serves them right as the two have never looked less like hunters, hollering all over the place, not being quiet and not being weapons ready. Is this incompetence more of Chuck’s “influence”? Really? I’m not buying this is logical. It’s stupid and not believable and I’m getting 😡
Now we have the funniest line of this episode, if not the entire series. Sam: I can’t believe they got the drop on me.” Considering Samsel in distress gets knocked out fairly frequently, someone is deliberately taking the piss with this line.
I like the scene between the brothers and the owner of the fight ring. Dean (to the shifter): Shifter? So you chose that face?! I can’t. 😂. This is a funny line, ditch the Cass pandering bull and come up with lines like this.
I absolutely love the promo scenes for the upcoming fights and the use of their mug shots for the Winchesters. Monday Monster Mayhem. This is my new show. Get me 22 episodes, stat!
How stupid are they separating the brothers into different cages? Don’t they know that just pisses them off? Saving grace is they can see each other so neither is panicking just yet.
Dean finds something to try to pick the lock. He can’t do it and it’s over to Sam who… also can’t do it. And this is where I disconnect again. Sam and Dean were trained, picking a lock for them isn’t “luck”, it’s nothing to do with reduced to being “normal”. Picking a lock for them is the equivalent of driving a car for anyone else,. It’s a skill that once learned, shouldn’t be something difficult for them, it’s inherent within them. But Dean broke a nail trying, ha ha 🙄
Was that speech supposed to be inspiring, because it was pretty bad. 😬 I’m not even going to cover it. We’ve heard a variation of it alternating between Sam and Dean every episode (depending on whose turn it is to lose faith this week) and it’s getting boring.
No surprise to learn that Dabb was trolling with the shirts off comment. Shocker. When the shifter goes to get Sam and Dean from their cages for their upcoming fight with a vamp, they’ve disappeared. We rewind to find out how Sam and Dean achieved their great escape. Once again, I like how this scene is shot. I also like the music most of the time in this scene. I like Dean saying “He’s so strong” (about Garth) but no Hellers, he’s still not bi.
Contrary to what some people think, I’m not averse to the Winchesters having help. They’ve had help throughout the series. Bobby in Yellow Fever came to the rescue. Ellen and Jo helped in the hellhound episode (and paid with their lives) so no issue. My two caveats are: a) is it feasible for the helper to have those skills and b) were the boys dumbed down to make the helper look good. I think feasibly Garth has the skills for sure, but the Winchesters were slapped with the stupid stick in not being able to pick a lock so it’s another fail for me. 
Okay, did Garth just blow up all the monsters, including ones that may have been there against their will or like his wife’s cousin, were just trying to make some money? I mean were they really doing any harm, monsters fighting monsters? If they are watching each other and killing each other, and therefore not killing humans then isn’t that a good thing?
Oh, looks like I’m getting my fight scene! Bring it. Wait, what is with this fucking music in this scene, is this a cartoon? Dean apparently can still fight, he scores a direct hit in the vamps balls. Sadly, it makes no difference because for some reason the vamp has balls of steel and Dean gets kicked right back in his and he’s out.
It’s Sammy’s turn and unfortunately, Sam was slapped again with the stupid stick this episode, he’s swinging and missing and that boy has never had a single sparring session in his life and he gets punched in the face.  Should have complained less and listened to John more Sammy, you might even have been able to fight by now.
I’ve no idea what Dean is doing now, he’s finally been slapped with the stupid stick – Yay? I guess? Never seen him do this stupid move before and I pray to Chuck and all the deities that I never have to be forced to see it again because what the actual fuck are they going with here? No seriously? It’s not remotely funny, it’s a caricature.
Thankfully he’s head-butted before I have to endure more, and rooting for the monster of the week is a new one on me, but here we are.
Sam “I haven’t been in training from a very young age” Winchester is back up. He goes for a kick and is flipped over. Trying not to be distracted by the padabooty writhing on the floor again this episode – and damn you Dabb for knowing what I like - Dean’s back up. It makes a change for Dean to be getting strangled, I’ll give them that. I also like how he tries to tap out and the vamp just allows it. It’s dumb, but actually funny so it gets a pass.
Oh thank goodness, Garth to the rescue… again, because I cannot with how terrible this entire scene was. Is it believable that the Winchesters who trained for years just can’t fight any more and that’s part of the “bad luck”? Fuck no, it’s insulting I had to watch this nonsense.
Back at Garths Scene
Dean (holding one baby): “This Cass keeps looking at me weird.” Sam (holding the other baby): “so kind of like the real Cass”. Another pandering line that is unnecessary. If only Cass had stayed dead we wouldn’t have to endure these forced unfunny lines 😔
Garth suggests they go to a place in Alaska he’s heard about that might help with their “bad luck”.
Love the use of Werewolves of London, decent music for a change. Garth dancing with Bess is sweet. I’m not sure by Sam’s look whether he’s wishful thinking. I didn’t get that impression at all through the episode until now. I really hope not. Dean definitely doesn’t seem interested in having normal.
There’s a broment in the car at the end talking about normal and that they are not normal.
In terms of revolving side characters, Garth’s character is one I can take or leave. If his character had been ruined, it wouldn’t bother me as much as what they did with Gabriel. However, they didn’t ruin his character and I’m glad he’s a hunter that got a happy ending.   
In summary, my annoyance with parts of the episode have nothing to do with it being a Dabb episode and everything to do with it being an interesting premise, once again poorly executed due to lack of talent. I’ll stick with BDABR, Yellow Fever and French Mistake.
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weird asks that say a lot
in
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? coffee mugs! it gives me a weird satisfaction
2. chocolate bars or lollipops? chocolate bars!!
3. bubblegum or cotton candy? not a big fan of either :/
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? well i’m homeschooled so that’d be my mother the gist of it was that i don’t focus well and get distracted easily
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? oh bottles for sure cannot tell you why but the old fashioned glass bottles of like pepsi or something? Love Those
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? grunge i love it has the ‘i don’t care’ attitude basically just oversized stuff and a whole bunch of flannels
7. earbuds or headphones? headphones obviously, i’m a gamer what did you think i was gonna say
8. movies or tv shows? i tend to like movies better, but i do love myself a good tv show i think the pinnacle of tv shows done right is person of interest five seasons, i never got bored, it didn’t drag on, and it was always a good watch with good character chemistry
9. favorite smell in the summer? hmm either chlorine or beach smell because both mean i’m in the water And Ya Boi Is A Water Bitch
10. game you were best at in p.e.? i’ve never had p.e. and i think that’s my favorite thing about homeschooling
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? i normally don’t, because i wake up 11:30-noon because i was up at 3am and i need my eight hours of sleep
12. name of your favorite playlist? some fucken bOPS
13. lanyard or keyring? i’d think key ring
14. favorite non-chocolate candy? uhhhhh literally all my favorite sweets are chocolate fuck probably cow tails
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? they all sucked and i rarely read any of them so
16. most comfortable position to sit in? either sitting on my ankle or having both legs hanging over the edge
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? do flip flops count?
18. ideal weather? like, 75-80 degrees with a cool breeze or alternatively 5-10 degrees with Piles Of Snow Everywhere
19. sleeping position? usually on my left side, or my stomach
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a notebook, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? i love writing on anything i can get my hands on, most times it’s a notebook i tend to always carry pen and paper with me because i Will Not Remember Anything
21. obsession from childhood? you know how people have like, a timeline in their head of their entire life? i did this when i was this age, etc.? yeah i don’t have that my memories are in a big pile in my head and i have to use like things around me to find out a general age it’s wild so i have no idea coloring? minecraft?
22. role model? any kind person ever
23. strange habits? i only shower at night, and once i get in my room and change into my pajamas i have No intention of leaving so i just brush my teeth in the shower
24. favorite crystal? amethyst? quartz? garnet? idk onlytherealonesknow
25. first song you remember hearing? it was a song that my mother used to sing to my brother and i at night when we were in bed, did you ever talk to God i’ve never been able to find it anywhere, but i love it and it has the Best Vibes attached to it
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? S w i m
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? cuddle obviously
28. five songs to describe you? uhh dear younger me- mercyme (Christian) the cult of Dionysus- the Orion experience lucky stars- Lucy Spraggan escapism- steven universe? maybe? sunkissed- Khai dreams???? bro i got no idea
29. best way to bond with you? over shared experiences, or a shared love of something just best way to bond? by relating
30. places that you find sacred? not sure old buildings, sites of historical importance, places marred by tragedy
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? oh boy here we go my tightest pants, obviously, my heels, and my slutty shirt or my comfy clothes i can kick ass in anything
32. top five favorite vines? i am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand. Posiden quivers before him! fuck off!! *BAM* this is why mom doesn’t fUCKING love you!!! please let this be a normal field trip. with Miss Frizzle?? un-fucking-likely Jeremy eat a snickers. why? you’re not you when you’re hungry. it’s gonna take more than that for my fatass meanwhile, in 1957. your honor, permission to treat the witness as hostile. permission granted. i’m gonna shoot you in the face. that’ll ruin my day
33. most used phrase in your phone? i have no phone but i do say valid a lot because All You Fuckers Are Valid
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? michigan plumminggggg, we’ll exceed your expectaaationsssss
35. average time you fall asleep? three am
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
37. suitcase or duffel bag? backpack
38. lemonade or tea? lemonade
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? cake
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? idk the cat pissed on my brother’s papers once
41. last person you texted? moje rojenia
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Hoodie Pouch
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodie, obviously
44. favorite scent for soap? Manly Smell
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? mmmmmm sci-fi
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? long sleeve tee, plaid pajama pants
47. favorite type of cheese? Mozzarella
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? pineapple i’ll eat you out ;)
49. what saying or quote do you live by? if someone makes you happy make them happier
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? my mother made the weirdest fucking sound once, and i couldn’t breathe and fell off the chair
51. current stresses? school, driver’s training, some other stuff
52. favorite font? Kristen ITC
53. what is the current state of your hands?  ????? clean?? i have a ring on my right middle finger, some scars on both hands, my nails are short
54. what did you learn from your first job?  haven’t had a job yet
55. favorite fairy tale?  any of the old Grimm’s fairy tales  they terrified me when i was young, but then i got a taste for the disturbed and gore so they became perfect for me 
56. favorite tradition?  my family doesn’t really have any traditions
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?  gaining confidence to not be a complete pushover, quitting self-harm, realizing my first relationship wasn’t my fault
58. four talents you’re proud of having? i don’t  have four talents  i can color really well? i can copy drawings if i look at them long enough
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?  Fuck
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? something along the lines of kabaneri of the iron fortress or my hero academia
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?  give me something to keep and hold onto forever. let go
62. seven characters you relate to?  uggggggggh bro my personality changes every hour i don’t know  Sam, from supernatural  uh, Klaus? from the originals  ....  yeah that’s all i got
63. five songs that would play in your club?  dangerous- left boy  adderall- Max Frost  sweet tooth- Scott Helman  binary mind- ra ra riot  while i’m alive- STRFKR
64. favorite website from your childhood?  club penguin and jumpstart
65. any permanent scars?  tons
66. favorite flower(s)?  coral dahlias and bellflowers
67. good luck charms?  nope!
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?  quinoa, mustard, and root beer
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?  without saliva your stomach would digest itself
70. left or right-handed?  right
71. least favorite pattern? whatever the fuck this one is
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 72. worst subject?  math
73. favorite weird flavor combo?  ranch and any kind of roast
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?  probably like a 7
75. when did you lose your first tooth?  neither i nor my mother remember
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Mashed Potatoes Always
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?  strawberries!! they’re yummy and have beautiful flowers
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? both are gross no thank you
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?  well since i don’t have my license yet, i’d have to say my license
80. earth tones or jewel tones?  earth tones
81. fireflies or lightning bugs? they’re  literally the same thing  are you asking which one i say? if so, lightning bugs
82. pc or console?  both! i prefer pc but a lot of my favorite games are on console and i don’t have a gaming computer
83. writing or drawing?  i’m better at writing, but i love both!
84. podcasts or talk radio?  not a huge fan of either
84. barbie or polly pocket?  i never had or liked either
85. fairy tales or mythology?  faerie* tales and mythology
86. cookies or cupcakes?  cookies!!!
87. your greatest fear?  being abandoned ig
88. your greatest wish?  to live an apple pie life i suppose  my partners and i living in a house we love, in a town we love, with all of our fur babies
89. who would you put before everyone else?  the young if i was in a room full of people, relatives, friends, elders, i would always save the youngest
90. luckiest mistake?  posting my diary on ao3 XD  i met my darling Leo through it
91. boxes or bags?  f....for???   bags are easier to carry, but boxes are just Nice ..... see this is why i think i’m a cat
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?  i love sunlight and fairy lights
93. nicknames?  Q  that’s that’s basically it
94. favorite season?  fall
95. favorite app on your phone?  duolingo or pixel.y 3D
96. desktop background? school computer:
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97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? just my mother’s
98. favorite historical era?  anything Ancient  greek, egyptian, incan, aztec, that kinda stuff
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Alright @theonceandfuturedoc here we go
weird asks that say a lot
in
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Water Bottles
2. chocolate bars or lollipops? CHOCOLATE!!!!
3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton Candy
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? “A pleasure to have in class, peers like her, very energetic, needs to apply herself more, needs to pay attention in class”
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? I don't like pop
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? Solid mix of pastel tomboy in sports wear?
7. earbuds or headphones? Earbuds
8. movies or tv shows? TV shows
9. favorite smell in the summer? Water coming out of the garden hose
10. game you were best at in p.e.? Dodgeball and broomball
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Whatever I had for supper the previous night
12. name of your favorite playlist? Fernie (for our drive there) or “Whatever” but also Latin Bops 
13. lanyard or key ring? Lanyard
14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Um I guess air heads? I don't really do candy. Unless popsicles or freezies count
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? In Grade 8 I had spinal surgery and was on OxyContin and read The Chrysalids and it was fucking amazing, but I was also on oxy, and am afraid to read it again incase its not as good as I remember 
16. most comfortable position to sit in? All of them except the traditional way to sit
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? The Payless Airwalk shoes that look like converse 
18. ideal weather? Summer!!!!
19. sleeping position? Again, literally all of them
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Notebook with large line spaces and that lays flat
21. obsession from childhood? So many? Stargate, surfing, space, volcanoes, weather
22. role model? Currently my clinical nurse educator
23. strange habits? So many probably but the only one coming to mind is narrating when I drive
24. favorite crystal? Jade
25. first song you remember hearing? Absolutely no idea
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Surf and garden!!! and bike!
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Snowboard!!!
29. best way to bond with you? Do things with me
30. places that you find sacred? This place I call The Dancing Lights on a hill overlooking 2 idk radio towers or whatever, but theres lights at the top of both towers that line up to make a perfect square and they alternate in flashing and its mesmerizing 
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Jeans and a tank top
32. top five favorite vines? Uhhhh, the hunnnggbanana where the guy falls out of the tree the one where the girl honks the car horn and her mom throws the milk Sand Guardian  And They Were Roommates!
33. most used phrase in your phone? Good Yard
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? Theres one out by where I work and its for idk relators of whatever but it looks like an ad for a TV show about lawyers 
35. average time you fall asleep? 9-12
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Moon Moon
37. suitcase or duffel bag? Duffel 
38. lemonade or tea? Like iced tea? if that no. but like morning hot tea, yes
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Both. Hard Both. 
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? A helicopter landed in our field because it was having mechanical issues
41. last person you texted? My mom
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? I want pockets on absolutely everything 
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Hoodie under a jean jacket
44. favorite scent for soap? Rocky Mountain Soap Co. Cinnamon and something 
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? All three are my preferred genres
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? I have pj pants with feet on them, and my white athletic long sleeved from superstore
47. favorite type of cheese? I cant eat cheese 
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Uhhh a pomegranate 
49. what saying or quote do you live by? Count to three, jump on 2 Fake it till you make it If you look like you belong, you belong (mostly in reference to being in a place you shouldn't, but can also be applied to if i look like a nurse and people think I'm a nurse then hell here we go)
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? Lots of things, but that story about the drain snake in the hotel and the plumber pulling up the shower curtain 
51. current stresses? My whole ass life? My sister, her boyfriend, them living in my basement, him stealing and pawning stuff and doing drugs and still living here, that he stole a bunch of my adderall and now the college of either docs or pharmacists is crawling up my ass, that my mom won't kick him out because she's afraid of ‘alienating’ my sister (but she needs it so she can get her head out of her ass and realize Mom cant fix everything every time she fucks up) that they're draining my parents of money because both of their accounts are frozen, the fact that I don't have enough money to move the fuck out, needing more hours at work but not knowing if I’ll get a line because literally everyone there is a better nurse than i am except one girl but she got a line because of seniority, that I'm off my dads health plan in November, that my car needs work, that my blood sugar randomly bottoms out, that my sister is causing my mom so much stress she's actually gonna stroke out, that the dog has seizures that we cant control and the other needs shoulder surgery for $3500, that my parents are going away for 3 weeks and I'm stressed my sister is going to have some sort of blowout and ruin their vacation, that in order to prevent her ruining their vaca I'm going to have to fix her life when she inevitably fucks it up again, the her bf respirates like a bulldog with bad genetics and stomps the fuck around and makes so much god damn noise all the fucking time and I just want some peace and fucking quiet
52. favorite font? Basically anything other than times new roman
53. what is the current state of your hands? Dry lol 
54. what did you learn from your first job? That I'm gay 😂
55. favorite fairy tale? Remind me to come back to this
56. favorite tradition? As a family we toboggan every christmas eve at midnight 
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Standing up for myself and being true to who I am. And uhhh ADHD ruining my whole life without me even knowing it, and I guess I'm a little more confident than I was? 
58. four talents you’re proud of having? Driving, weather reading skills, people reading skills, animal reading skills
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Fuck it
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? i don't know enough about that to have an opinion I think
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Basically anything from Code Black, but the scene where Leanne is trying to get a central line and cant, so she physically steps back and takes a deep breath and hand off to another doc. 
62. seven characters you relate to? Kit from Unicorn Store Alex Danvers from Supergirl Leanne Rorish from Code Black Nancy Carnahan (I think is her last name) from Trauma Waverly Earp and Nicole Haught from Wynonna Earp Shay from Chicago Fire
63. five songs that would play in your club? Emancipator Vines remix by The Great Mundane Petite by N’To Opportunity by Brasstronaut Illusion by Coyote Kisses Jimmy Iovine by Macklemore  Mean Ass Drunk by Watsky 
64. favorite website from your childhood? Neopets
65. any permanent scars? Spinal surgery, foot vs tent peg on a 60 foot slip n slide, fresh clipped dog nails on my hand, face vs puppy feat. frisbee on my lip
66. favorite flower(s)? those ones that change colour depending on the acidity of the soil, tiger lily, some others I cant describe and don't know the name of  😂
67. good luck charms? A nice rock in my wallet, a nice stick in my glovebox and a grass crown I made thats in my car
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Anything with bubbles. Beer. Wine is basically vinegar with alcohol
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? Always sit behind the pilot of a helicopter because if they crash thats the safest spot
70. left or right handed? Right but pretty good with my left for some things
71. least favorite pattern? Stripes that make me dizzy
72. worst subject? Math
73. favorite weird flavor combo? listen in my head I want chicken and peanut butter to taste good but they just don't and it makes me sad
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? Probably a 6/7, but if I know its a migraine like 3
75. when did you lose your first tooth? When I was 5, camping
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Mashed potatoes and gravy
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? All of them. Currently I have squash, zucchini, bell peppers and corn sprouting in my window
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Neither because I don't drink coffee and sushi and I don't get along great
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? My passport photo lol 
80. earth tones or jewel tones? Earth?
81. fireflies or lightning bugs? Firefly
82. pc or console? i don't know what this means
83. writing or drawing? Both but I'm also terrible at both 
84. podcasts or talk radio? Music. ADHD and both of those don't get along
84. barbie or polly pocket? Polly Pocket but we had barbies
85. fairy tales or mythology? Mythology
86. cookies or cupcakes? Cupcake!!
87. your greatest fear? Tornadoes
88. your greatest wish? To be outside
89. who would you put before everyone else? Bre
90. luckiest mistake? Sent the wrong patient for x ray but it showed a mass in their lung we knew nothing about
91. boxes or bags? Both
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Sunlight and fairy light
93. nicknames? When I was little my dad called me Buffalo Rug because I have so much hair
94. favorite season? All of them
95. favorite app on your phone? Probably instagram because its mostly surfing right now
96. desktop background? A surfer on a hand shaped wood board
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? 10 probably?
98. favorite historical era? Uhhh Ancient Egypt was cool?
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sallyannthearts · 6 years
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Hiking for Princesses 2
How To Prepare for a Hiking adventure when You’re a City Princess
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Pic: Day One when all was still well and I could still balance well enough on a steep rock to take this photo. 
A real princess is one who lives in fantasy whilst still having her toes touching reality, no matter how harsh it may seem. In that sense, signing up for this trip wasn’t on a silly girly whim. I knew that there’d be tough times ahead but I also didn’t want to think too much about it. 
One thing that I knew I’d be okay with and was ready to do was: NOT TO SHOWER FOR 6 DAYS... and probably crap in a hole in nature. 
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I’d signed up before the summer holidays and told myself that I’d be dancing every single day at summer dance camp while hiking on the weekends to prepare for this feat. But just before the summer holidays began, I found myself with a severe ankle sprain after having fallen off a chair during a dance in Cabaret the Musical. I couldn’t walk properly for the next 1 month. Oh Oh. 
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Pic: Early stages of rehearsal during Cabaret the Musical by ECM Paris at Theatre de la Variete, Paris. I wore heels to dance in the show. 
So, in total, Andro, reason 1/2 of why I was going for this torture trip and I only trained like, twice for the trip. The first time we did so was around our backyard from Paris 5th arrondissement to Parc Montsouris where we ended up having a tasty lunch with beers. 
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Pic: If only she’d known back then what awaited her. 
The second time we ‘trained’ was in Dieppe with 8 bottles of milk in my bag pack and we walked over slippery rocks at the beach with the tide threatening to come in close to wash over us (dangerous thing to do). That was more like it and already, I thought I was dying from lack of stamina. I shivered at the thought of the 110km. But summer was very hot in Paris for the next remaining weeks so... we didn’t train anymore. 
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Pic: Day One when we arrived at the first viewpoint/ eating place with LapDonalds hamburgers for sale and I thought this was going to be an easy breeze. 
SO, if you’re going to sign up for a Classic Fjallraven Hike or anything like that, one thing I do advise you is: TRAIN FOR IT or at least have good enough stamina because I have to thank the Gods for my youthful energy and dance background for having saved me by the latter. 
Also, another note that would be elaborated later: LEARN HOW TO USE YOUR EQUIPMENT because not everyone will be lucky enough to have an Andro to help you through it all. 
Pic: This is an Andro. He was the one who helped me and two other girls survive this trip by teaching us how to really set up our tent and to use our bunsen burners amongst other camping tricks.
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Photo credit: Michael Mead (a.k.a Jesus because he came to join forces with the Andro to help us girls along the way; to be continued). 
Now question about your packing list, what do you really need in that bag of yours? 
I got most of my stuff from Decathlon and their equipment proved to be very good. My undergarments came from Ice Breaker, full 100% Merino wool of comfort and cleanliness which makes every cringing penny you spend SO worthwhile. 
YOUR HIKING PRINCESS PACKING LIST:  
1) A Waterproof Bagpack (YES WATERPROOF IN SWEDEN!!! You will soon read why.) Mine was a 60L one which was just enough and nice for a little body like mine. Anything lesser would be tough to keep everything in for a 6 day hike like this. It also comes with a waterproof bag cover, worth the buck! 
2) Waterproof Boots (Decathlon, mine came with pink laces!) I remember telling my boyfriend that I didn’t wanna get mud on them when I first used them. HA. Ha. 
3) CLOTHES: 
-Base layer: 100% Merino Wool bra and panties (Ice Breaker) Yes, they’re expensive but they’re well worth it! You’ll smell like roses even after six days of rain and not changing them. 
-Extra base layer (if it’s cold because the weather in Sweden can go from hot summer to freezing cold winter with snow): 100% Merino Wool long johns and top (or sleep naked in the ice cold like me because you love your sister more than your comfort and you gave her your long johns to sleep in whilst your soaking wet pants tried to dry in vain in the rain) 
-Middle layer: A odour-proof, sweat-proof basic T-Shirt (Decathlon) 
-Top Layers a.k.a the dozens of Jackets you’ll put on if it’s super cold: 
1st Jacket: Basic Fleece Polar (Mine was from Uniqlo) 
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2nd jacket: Feather down Jacket (Mine was a pink one from Gap, pictured above) Get one that’s easy to pack and very light so that you don’t add more weight. 
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3rd jacket: Waterproof & Windproof Jacket with Hoodie (Mine was a green one you see above from Decathlon, a $20 euros deal that saved my life!) 
-Rainy layer: Huge Poncho (Decathlon) that can fit your bag pack inside too. Choose wisely for you will look like hunchback or if you prefer, like my sister, a cute orange spongebob. 
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Pic: The Orange Spongebob, nicknamed after my boyfriend when we were looking out for her in the distance.
-Head layer: A beanie because even your ears will freeze if you are blessed with weather like ours. 
-Neck layer: An all purpose scarf/headband (Decathlon) 
-Hair: Bring hair ties to tie your hair up! 
-Hands: Winter gloves that can withstand rain (Or 1 single glove because you love your sister and gave her yours only for her to find hers and lost 1 out of 2 of your gloves and so you continued the hike with one aching hand all the way) 
-Bottom Layer: One pair of Waterproof pants that can be turned into shorts (Decathlon); actually, bring 2 pairs because if it rains, I’d rather save you from the horrors of sleeping in 0 degree Celsius naked. Also, if you’re a less adventurous princess, sleeping in your bed with the same muddy pants may not be your cup of tea as I did during my adventure. 
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4) FOOD & DRINKS: 1 Lifestraw water bottle 50ml (You’ll keep passing beautiful streams and rivers of nice fresh water but still this built-in filter assures 99,999% of bacteria and virus killed); 1 pot and pan with utensils, 1 bunsen burner beaker (they'll provide you with gas), 1 lighter or matches (bring your own and don’t make the mistake like us of sharing only one! But hey, now we have a matchbox from Salka as a souvenir!)  !!! Bring your own energy bars and chocolate and all that guilty crap you couldn’t eat back in the city because of well, fat. YOU CAN SNICKERS YOUR WAY THROUGH IT THIS TIME! Hello, guilt-free eating! 
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Pic: DO NOT get the Creamy Salmon with Pasta from Real Turmat. Neither do I recommend the beef and lamb stews. Instead, the best were Chicken & Lime, Kebab Stew, Curry Chicken and Chilli Con Carne! 
5) BEAUTY: Vaseline (For your feet blisters), Blister pads & Hand plasters, thick creamy facial cream (with 20SF sunscreen in case you get some sun suddenly popping out), Flip Flops (Even in the cold, to let your feet breath), Toothbrush & Toothpaste (although I only used them twice in 6 days), polarised sunglasses, small microfibre towel, lip balm, hair oil, mosquito stick (in case), 1 roll of toilet paper, 1 small anti-bacteria hand wash. 
6) MEDICATION: Panadol, Diarrhoea pills, Muscle ache roll-ons (DO NOT get the ones that cools instead of heats else you’ll end up feeling intense cold on certain parts laughing in semi-hypothermia like me).
<!!! Contact Lenses: 
I’ve tried looking for blog posts about advice on wearing contact lenses when hiking and camping in the wild but to no avail. So here it is: TO WEAR OR NOT TO WEAR YOUR CONTACTS? 
Yes, YOU CAN WEAR THEM. How? Dailies. Wash your hands beforehand or use a small bottle of eyedrops to wash your hands and then put them on, preferably with the help of a tent if not you’ll be surrounded by three other people like my sister whilst she tried hard to put them on in the wind and rain.> 
7) Walking Sticks (2 of them because you’ll thank the vision of yourself at age 90 walking with these sticks when you’re at 25km and limping in the cold towards the next checkpoint) 
8) TENT (Spend on your tent, seriously! The Green ones most of the Singaporean team got from NatureHike was not suitable for the cold weather at all! Your Tent is your Home. It’ll motivate and help you to stay strong. More to come about my horror Tent story later) 
There goes, my Princess Hiker Packing List. I also brought a book and a packet of Monopoly deal, neither which were ever used. My bag was one of the lightest  from the start because we spent on the newest and lightest quality equipment, all of which your back and shoulders would thank you later. 
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Pic: With one of the lightest bag packs at less than 10.5kg amongst the 2200 participants of this year’s Fjallraven that had an average of 15kg to a whopping 25kg+, I was set for a breezy walk, wasn’t I? 
So, with about $500 euros per person spent on equipment. I was ready for the 110km adventure wasn’t I? 
Click here to READ ABOUT THE WORST CLASSIC FJALLRAVEN SWEDEN 110KM HIKING YEAR EVER AND HOW IT BECAME THE BEST. 
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purplesurveys · 3 years
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1218
Have you ever been to Australia?  Nope. Not really on top of my travel lists when it comes down to it, but it would be lovely to visit nonetheless. I'd be most excited to try their local food.
Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Kate, our HR officer.
Are you wearing a necklace? If so, describe it.  I am not.
Do you know anyone who is left-handed? Aya. But we’re not really friends anymore.
Ever wear out a CD? What was it?  I don’t think so. I’ve broken CDs before but it was always because I had been a kid then and I constantly mishandled them.
What’s your favorite card game? I’m not into card games.
What’s your favorite fast food meal?  I usually flock to burgers and fries. Fast food rice is blechhh so I never get any meals with them, which are usually paired with fried chicken.
Where is the best restaurant you’ve ever eaten in at?  Torch. Prices are no joke either, so I don’t get to order from there a lot.
Lamb chops or pork chops?  I have pork chops more frequently and I love them, but I’d go with lamb chops. More expensive so I get them less often, but I do like the taste of lamb more.
If you HAD to pick ONE song to listen to for the rest of your life, and that would be the only song you ever heard, what would it be?  I imagine this would be so inconvenient after just a few hours...but idk. Based on my mood now, maybe Still With You by Jungkook.
Ever heard of Shinedown?  I have. I used to have a mutual who was obsessed with them. Never listened to their music, though.
What size is your bed?  Just a twin-size.
What is the first meal you remember eating?  I no longer remember that.
What was the first movie you ever saw?  Stuart Little 2.
What percentile of your class were you in?  I’m not sure about percentile, but I was just above average. Never topped the class but wasn’t behind academically, either. In our batch of around 165, I remember my ranking peaking at like 26. I don’t know what the equivalent percentile for that is.
Can you name every place you’ve ever had sex?  Yeah, I didn’t like being too adventurous anyway.
What forms of birth control have you used?  Same-sex relationship.
Do you use sponges or dishcloths when doing the dishes?  Sponge. OMG I hate touching wet cloths/fabric.
What’s your favorite song on the top twenty right now?  Butter.
Ever punched a wall?  Nope.
What was the last bug you killed and what did you use?  An ant. My finger.
Ever get pulled over by the cops and get away without a ticket?  Yes, because he noticed I was in uniform, as were my orgmates then. And I’m guessing it was also because he could tell we were all young, so he let us go.
What was your first legal alcoholic drink? A margarita, I think? < Hey, same!
What’s the most expensive things your parents ever bought you?  My education.
What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?  I’ve spent the most on my merch collection so far; but as for an individual item, I’ve spent close to 5k on a photobook set. I haven’t really ventured out to start spending on more adulting stuff yet, lol.
What is your favorite cover song?  Paramore’s cover of Passionfruit by Drake, or Hayley Williams’ cover of Teardrop by Massive Attack.
Did you ever drop out of school?  Nope, I did everything in one go.
Ever raise a child that wasn’t your own for more than 3 months?  I have not.
Strangest medical procedure ever performed on you?  I’ve only had basics done on me. 
Does the place you work have music playing? What sort?  The extremely few times I had to go to the physical office, my co-workers put on some music, yeah. It had been a very chill atmosphere and they simply turned on YouTube on the TV and put on a playlist of BTS and Taylor Swift songs.
Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely?  Mac.
Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you?  Yes, I hate how the tags feel for the most part. The only time I don’t cut them off is if the brand is on the pricey side.
How many times a year do you go on vacation?  Under normal circumstances, around 3-5 with my family.
What is your favorite time period in history to learn about?  It’s easier for me to say what periods I find a little boring: medieval/dark ages and anything about wars. Every other period I’d happily soak up like a sponge.
What’s the saddest report you have ever seen on the news?  Mmmh, probably kids dying from freak accidents and seeing the parents get interviewed. Just last night I had to hear about a 4 year old who ran towards a car while playing outside. Hearing the dad cry and plead was gut-wrenching.
In your honest opinion, what is the scariest sea creature you know?  Idk, maybe those that live in the super deep sea and look nothing like what we would usually perceive as normal sea creatures.
What superpower do you think would be the most handy in times of trouble?  I guess it would have to depend on the issue you find yourself stuck in. But I think being able to control time would be convenient, since you can just easily undo mistakes.
Do you believe there is just one love for everyone, or…?  No. That would invalidate experiences for a lot of people. :/
Why are you best friends with your best friend?  She’s always been supportive and stuck by my side no matter what I’ve been through. We also have great chemistry and have always shared the same sense of goofy humor.
Do you world peace is truly a possibility in the future?  No.
Pretend you are a really good cook, what meal would you make?  I’d just make sashimi everyday.
What do you think of when you look at the stars?  I tend to reminisce when I do so. Think about what’s happened in the past, people who’ve left, what I’ve lost...and that there’s probably good reason why things are the way they are now.
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Dead? Their shells are part of their actual skeletal structure. < Well there we go.
What’s one thing you feel you must do in your life before it ends?  Travel the world.
What Disney princess are you most like? Personality-wise, I mean.  Ariel. Pretty fucking clumsy, prioritizes the wrong things out of love.
What do you think is the most important thing in this life is?  Happiness.
Do you use any acne medication?  Nah, I just splash my face with water every morning.
Have you ever tried to learn another language? How did it go?  [This survey seems to be a mix of a few surveys, so some of the questions - like this, I’ve already answered. I’ll be striking out the ones I’ve already delved on but if you’ll take this survey as well, feel free to remove the strike!]
Do you still have a landline phone in your home?
Throughout a typical week, which places are you likely to go?  LOL just home. I work from home, and I’m usually exhausted during the weekend to want to go out.
How often do you use your webcam, if you even have one that is?  A few times a week for work. Most of the time we communicate just through audio, but there are a few meetings or clients that prefer video.
Do you have a lock number or pattern for your phone?  It’s a number combination, but I seldom get to use it. I usually rely on thumb ID.
What was the last thing you bought from a liquor store?  Not a liquor store but I just got a few bottles of beer from 7-Eleven.
Is there any cereal in your house? What kind?  We don’t. We’re not really a big cereal-eating family.
What's the most number of people you've ever lived with?  11. That’s a set of grandparents (2), my family (4), my mom’s older brother’s family (4), and my mom’s younger brother (1).
Do you celebrate St. Patrick's Day? 
Do you have any pets? How long have you had them?  I have two. 13 years with Kimi, a year with Cooper.
What's your favourite kind of cheese?  Feta and mozzarella.
Have you danced in the rain?  Once or twice, when I was a lot younger.
Who is your favorite person to text?  I don’t text anymore, but I frequently communicate with Angela on Messenger.
What’s your favorite brand of jeans?  My favorite pair is from Zara, but I don’t have a go-to brand for jeans per se.
Do you enjoy Mario games?  Not all of them, but sure.
What’s your favorite online game? I don’t play games.
Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class?  Possibly. Not remarkable enough for me to remember though.
Who was last to cook for you?  Dad.
Would you ever wish to explore a cave?  I would love to. I had the chance to explore one during our trip to Sagada, but the tour guide decided against it since I had the wrong footwear and it wasn’t going to be safe if I tried. :( I did get to go to the underground cave in Palawan though, and that was a really fun experience.
You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?  I’d give her a small, polite/curt smile and maybe wave, then go on with whatever it was I’ve been doing. Of course, I doubt it would actually go that way because I believe she’d run for the hills if she ever spotted me.
Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high?  No. I would refuse to, especially if they were the one driving.
Did you ever date the last person you kissed?  Yeah, for too long.
Have you ever held a snake?  I have! A few times.
How often do you have friends over to your house?  Almost never. Angela and Hans coming over for Sowoozoo two weeks ago was just an exception.
Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally?  No, I wouldn’t say that.
Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? 
Do you have any exercises you do everyday?
Are you more of a dog or cat person? 
Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? 
Would you ever have a bird as a pet? 
Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? 
Do you know someone who’s been cremated? 
What is your favorite animated movie? 
Did your grandparents teach you anything?  Just some religion stuff and how to be a nice Catholic and all. Doesn’t apply to me, obvs, but I still outwardly listen out of respect.
Do you want/have a Bachelor's degree?  Yes.
Are you into superheroes? Who's your favourite?  I am most definitely not. 
Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it?  Sure, a few times. Yes, it was fun and hilarious.
Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones?  Just the basic ones like truth or dare and never have I ever.
Did you ever play Neopets when you were younger?
Have you ever been to Mexico?  No, but would be nice to travel there.
Have your parents ever worked in medicine? No, not their field.
Is there anything unusual about your house?  We don’t have a gate, which has always bugged me.
How many serious relationships have you been in?  One.
Do you listen to Rise Against?  Much more when I was in high school. I haven’t revisited their music in years.
When was the last time you congratulated someone?  Reggy since she posted her graduation portrait the other day.
Have you ever taken care of a newborn baby?  Nah.
How old were you when you got your ears pierced?  Like a month old, I believe.
Do you snore when you sleep?  Rarely. A snore or two would usually come out only if I’m extremely exhausted.
What was the last type of burger you ate?  A Baconator from Wendy’s.
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thebuckblogimo · 4 years
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My Ten All-Time Favorite Albums.
July 17, 2020
I’ve previously written that one of my roommates during senior year in college was a very musically-oriented guy. Rick, the original “Buddman,” Budd was from Pittsburgh, PA. As a kid he learned how to harmonize from his Dad who was a totally-into-it barbershopper. In high school the Buddman sang in a doo wop group called the Del Renos. In college he played the Hammond B3 organ for the Paramounts, the only soul band on the Michigan State University campus during the late ‘60s. Later in life he helped form a doo wop group, Deke and the Blazers, that did some national touring. It also bears mentioning that Rick could play the piano by ear. After downing eight or ten Rolling Rocks, he would fall forward, bang the keyboard with his head, and play those 88s with his ear. Just kidding, folks. Kinda, sorta...
The Buddman recently listed his ten favorite albums of all time on Facebook. He included some interesting background and personal insights with his selections. He then suggested I do the same. I took him up on the challenge, but it turned out to be a more difficult task than I had anticipated. It was hard for me to compare music from the ‘50 and ‘60s to music recorded many years later. And it was not easy to narrow my list down to ten. Nevertheless, I finally did so. I’m not on Facebook, so I’ve listed my top ten here:
1) A Package of 16 Big Hits (Motown)--This 1963 release was Berry Gordy’s very first compilation album. I associate many of its tracks with getting my driver's license at 16 and bombing around Detroit in my Dad's new Pontiac Bonneville. I think it's so good because all of the songs were recorded before Motown began to rely on a formula that employed funk brother Jack Ashford's incessant tambourine. Almost every tune on this record sounds different from the next. For example, Marvin Gaye's "Stubborn Kind of Fella" showcases the Vandellas singing background vocals and flautist Beans Bowles playing a distinctive solo. While Mary Wells' "The One Who Really Loves You" features an arrangement that includes a hint of vibraphone, some sweet piano, a syncopated conga drum and background harmonies provided by an obscure group called the Love Tones. Another unique cut is "Come and Get These Memories" by Martha and the Vandellas. It sounds unlike any other tune the group recorded after it. The LP's original cover graphic is really cool, too--a package wrapped in kraft paper and "stamped" in postal fashion with the names of the tunes and the artists who performed them. 2) Live at the Apollo, Volume II (James Brown)--It was Rick Budd who first took me to the bridge and dropped me into the funk of James Brown, the "godfather of soul" and the "hardest working man in show business." I know that the Buddman favors Live at the Apollo, JB's first live album from 1963. But I put my money on this 1968 two-record set. When I was living at Water's Edge apartments during my senior year in college, we'd play Side 2 at Saturday night parties, get up to dance, and not sit down until it came to an end--19 minutes and 37 seconds later. The live versions of "Let Yourself Go," "There Was a Time," "I Feel All Right," and "Cold Sweat," are amazing. The set also includes renditions of such pre-funk Brown ballads as "Prisoner of Love," "Try Me" and "Please, Please, Please." The 2001 Deluxe CD Edition includes a tantalizing 23-second "My Girl" musical interlude. All I can say is "...good gawd...uhh...ooh ahh...hah..." 3) Hot Buttered Soul (Isaac Hayes)--Released during June of 1969, this four-track album put Isaac Hayes on the R&B map for Stax-Volt. When I returned to MSU for my final quarter of school in the fall of '69, Hot Buttered Soul supplanted the Beatles' Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band as my favorite pot-smoking album. It should not, in my estimation, be played in the background or listened to while idly vacuuming the living room rug. The only way to truly appreciate this masterpiece of Memphis soul is to "actively" listen to it--with the volume up, the lights low, in an altered state of mind, on the couch. Let Hayes, with his deep-baritone rap; the Bar-Kays, delivering some twangy, psychedelic guitar riffs; and the plaintive sound of violin strings, which were added to the mix in Detroit (presumably by musicians from the Detroit Symphony Orchestra), take you on a journey that starts low, aims high and hits bone-jarring crescendos on Hayes' interpretations of "Walk on By" and a 19-minute version of "By the Time I Get to Phoenix." Listening to this album can be damn-near orgasmic. 4) Chicago Transit Authority (Chicago)--Although this eponymous album was released in 1969, I did not come to truly appreciate it until a couple years later. (The group, by the way, was sued by the CTA and soon changed its name to Chicago). I practically wore out my copy--or at least Side 1 of this two-album set--at my first apartment as a single guy on Appoline in Dearborn. I love the way these Windy City guys meld jazz, rock. soul and orchestral influences to produce a sound in a category with Tower of Power, as well as Blood, Sweat & Tears. Besides lead guitar, bass and drums, you can hear the "pow" of brass and the serenity of woodwinds on this production, provided by a saxaphone, trumpet, trombone, clarinet and flute. You can also hear an array of percussion instruments such as cowbell, claves, tambourine, etc. I'd kill to have any one of the three distinctive voices possessed by Robert Lamm, Peter Cetera and Terry Kath as they take turns on lead vocals. The six-minute instrumental "Introduction" on Side 1 takes the listener on a journey that climbs hills and descends into valleys. It then transitions into the rock classic "Does Anyone Really Know What Time It Is?" which, in turn, transitions into "Beginnings," yet another rock classic. The first cut on Side 2 features the underrated "Questions 67 and 68." While on Side 3 you'll find the self-indulgent "Free Form Guitar," which I hate, frankly, because it's "noise music" to my ear. There's also an excellent cover of the Spencer Davis Group's "I'm a Man." Best Chicago album of all time, in my opinion. 5) All Day Music (War)--I was in my first big-boy job at AAA when one day in 1971 I was knocked out by the title song from this album and walked over to Grinnell's music store after work to purchase it. There is no mistaking the unique sound of War as the group fuses elements of low-rider soul, rock, jazz and Latin rhythms. My main man Joe McCracken, some of the pals and I would invariably "tune up" singing "All Day Music" at "the pit," another name for my basement apartment, before heading out to Your Mustache, a raucous music room just two blocks from where I lived. I like all of the tunes on this album and want to give a shout-out to "Slippin' Into Darkness," but I can't lay enough praise on the title cut. It remains one of my all-time favorites, a true "nugget" that I never get tired of listening to. 6) The Best of The Guess Who Volume II (The Guess Who)--I'm not easily sold on groups with three guitars and a set of drums. I generally prefer rockers who add horns or a piano to the mix. It is particularly because of the skillful keyboard-playing ability of Burton Cummings, as well as his distinctive voice, that I love the work of these fellas from Winnipeg, Manitoba. In fact, before I lost my music collection in our fire of 2010, I owned more LPs by The Guess Who (probably 10) than any other group. This compilation was released in 1974. The track listing includes 11 tunes recorded between 1970 and '73, all written or co-written by Cummings, after long-time lead guitarist Randy Bachman left the group to form Bachman-Turner Overdrive, aka B.T.O. I absolutely love eight or nine of the cuts--"Albert Flasher," "Guns, Guns, Guns," "Sour Suite," "Glamour Boy" and more. But for my money this album's piece de resistance is "Runnin' Back to Saskatoon" with its building, straight-ahead momentum. M’boy Burton sings of hanging out in such Canadian prairie towns as Moose Jaw, Moosomin, Red Deer and Medicine Hat. How many times did we slam beers at the Phase 1 in Dearborn with that tune blasting on the juke box? After which we'd cruise back to my house on Rosemont in Detroit and blast it some more on the stereo. If "American Woman" is all you know about The Guess Who, make time to discover this Canadian group's north-of-the-border interpretation of rock 'n' roll. 7) Street Corner Symphony--(The Persuasions)--As I mentioned earlier, we'd tune up on "All Day Music" at my first apartment, but before we headed out the door for the "Mustache," we'd pull out this 1972 a cappella album, fire it up--along with a couple of jays--and sing some of its best tunes: a medley including "He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother" and "You've Got a Friend"; an upbeat version of the Temptations "I Could Never Love Another (After Loving You)"; "Temps Jam,” a medley of Temptations classics; a superb rendition of "So Much in Love," originally done by the Tymes; and "People Get Ready," the old Impressions chestnut. Only then would we be truly ready to hit the bar. This album sparked my initial interest in music made with nothing more than the human voice. I eventually purchased four or five Persuasions albums and several by other popular a cappella groups. An aside: One summer during the early '70s there was a lengthy beer distributors strike in Detroit. Luckily, in those days, we could easily cross the Ambassador Bridge or go through the Detroit-Windsor Tunnel to get to Ontario to purchase Canadian suds. It was a sweltering Sunday afternoon when we picked up a case of LaBatt 50 Ale in Windsor and drove to some outdoor venue to see a concert featuring The Guess Who, the Persuasions and the Sun Ra Arkestra. Talk about an eclectic lineup of artists. To this day I consider that beer to be some of the tastiest I have ever swallowed, and that concert to be one of the best I have ever seen. 8) Crystal Green (Rainbow, featuring Will Boulware)--By the mid-to-late '70s, my musical preferences had started to take a turn. From then through the early 2000s I bought mostly what I call "WDET music," less commercially popular vinyl and CDs that I heard on Detroit's world-class (at the time) public radio station, as well as lots of jazz and fusion. The 1977 release of the rareish LP, Crystal Green (not to be confused with the group's similarly titled album, Over Crystal Green), is unquestionably my all-time-favorite jazz/fusion record. After I first heard the upbeat, six-minute "I Like It" on the radio, I knew I had to have the album for my collection. After I bought it and put it on my turntable at home, the mellow groove of the very first cut, "Hossan," knocked me off my feet. In fact, I love all six cuts on this album. I regret that Rainbow, featuring pianist Will Boulware, is not available on Spotify, my go-to music source these days. 9) Meet Me in Uptown (The Mighty Blue Kings)--I recall driving down Woodward Avenue in Royal Oak on my lunch hour one day in 1996, listening to WDET on my car's radio, when a raucous tune began to play. It immediately hit me. Bam! Right upside the head. I'd never heard anything quite like it before. When the deejay finally identified the hall-party sound from the set he had just played, it turned out to be "Jumpin' at the Green Mill" by the Mighty Blue Kings, a "jump blues" band out of Chicago. The seven-piece group with horns, piano and a stand-up bass features the "ballsy" baritone of Ross Bon. This unpretentiously produced CD was ahead of its time, recorded before Brian Setzer resuscitated swing music in the late '90s. "Jumpin' at the Green Mill" remains my favorite cut. Of the 13 selections on this album, here are the ones I'm partial to: "Loose Lips," "Cadillac Boogie," Big Mamou," "Meet Me in Uptown," "Rag Mop" and "Pink Cadillac." Kudos to WDET for opening my ears to this and other diverse types of music such as bluegrass, ska, world, Cajun, zydeco, Tex-Mex and sophisticated forms of hip-hop. 10) The Teenagers Featuring Frankie Lymon--I'm old enough, and bought records early enough, to be able to say that I purchased three 78 rpm discs in 1956 at the Two By Four Record Shop in Dearborn: "I Want You to Be My Girl" by Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers; "Stranded in the Jungle" by the Cadets; and "Priscilla" by Eddie Cooley and the Dimples. But it was the summer of that year when my Auntie Julie surprised a then-nine-year-old "little Lenny" with his first 331/3 rpm "long play" album. This platter on the dark red GEE label sparked my lifelong love affair with doo wop (although I don't recall the music being called that in those days). Young Frankie's 13-year-old soprano had a far sweeter sound than Michael Jackson's shrill voice at the same age. And the Teenagers 17-year-old Sherman Garnes edges out Melvin Franklin of the Temptations as my all-time-favorite bass singer. I almost slipped the 1998 release of Trampoline by the Mavericks, featuring the catchy and energetic "Dance the Night Away," with the soaring tenor of lead singer Raul Malo, into the number 10 slot here. However, I couldn't turn my back on the kid group that is at the foundation of every musical emotion I have ever felt.
The end.
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allondonboy · 6 years
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Medicine for the Soul (Ch 6)
Chapter 6 - Allegro molto appassionato: fortissimo (Ch 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
My half-disappearing off the face of the earth was because I thought my main academic deadline for this year was the end of February. Turns out it's the end of November, which required a brain-aching switch into academic writing mode and...yeah.
Thank you for your patience, comments and kudos, I couldn't have got through this term without them. The next chapter is 80 % written and should be up for mid-December. That and this one are my favourites so far, and I really hope you enjoy them!
Sanvers is 100 % endgame in this little universe.
Thanks as always, Sky, for your help.
Maggie is already back at Stanford when Eliza and Kara drop them off. Physically being near her again takes more getting used to than Alex expected – the stories of couples being reunited with passionate kisses and more had prepared them for more than an awkward wave and the sensation of not being wholly present in the room.
They’ve grown uncomfortably used to Eliza’s misgendering such that Maggie’s gender-neutral language knocks them off kilter. After the emotional whiplash from going from college to Midvale to college again their brain is learning to relax once more, safe and validated next to their girlfriend, but it still lags as they get used to hearing the right pronouns again.
Not that Kara and Lucy didn’t try, they muse as Maggie leads them to her next gig in the gay bar down the road, but the house in Midvale always held a feeling of unease when they were called they.
The bar is lit with multi-coloured lights and it’s early enough in the evening that the buzz is present but not overbearing. Maggie, chewing ferociously on a mint, makes a beeline for the mic in the corner. Alex heads for the bar and orders two beers, setting one on the floor by Maggie’s feet next to her bottle of water.
Alex finds a quiet corner from where to watch Maggie, raising their bottle at her when she searches for them. She sends them a smile, dimples flashing, and they grin back.
The audience around Maggie grows, obscuring their view of her. They slide closer with their refilled drink, eyes fixed on their girlfriend as she puts her guitar away. Maggie smiles as she talks to the people, the girls, who come up to her.
And Rao, they don’t want to be possessive but winter break is still too fresh in their mind and the doubts are sticking to their mind like burs on a coat and they don’t take Maggie’s hand when she offers it, they don’t return her eye roll at another girl’s simpers, they turn their cheek into her kiss, and they stop before Maggie’s door is within arm’s reach.
“Danvers, you coming?” With the gleam in Maggie’s eye, they know she’s expecting a quip and at another time they might have provided one but there’s blood pounding in their ears and something bubbling behind their eyes and they turn, and they run.
--
In the week since they’d been back, they’d studied, worked their way through the remaining bottles of beer in their room, and moved through all the practice rooms in the music block to try and find the best acoustic.
In the end, it’s the smallest room in the corner of the second floor that they choose. With just enough room for the upright piano tucked at the back, it has a small window out of which a tree is just visible, tall and stark against the neighbouring building. They work through their old exercise books, making the most of the week before classes start to scrape their way to a tone that doesn’t make them cringe in embarrassment.
The practice room is where they run when they leave Maggie’s.
It’s partly because Lucy is in all evening, and Alex isn’t in the mood for a conversation that isn’t moving fast with their feet slamming the pavement: the only way they can dampen the stifling beat of their heart in the base of their throat without damaging a hand that they need to squeeze out double stops and furious glissandi.
Some of them wants to go back to the punching bag they’d hung in Midvale, where they’d taught Kara how to throw a punch.
Some of them wants to go back to the bottle of vodka stashed in their sock drawer.
Most of them wants to scream at Eliza for filling them with all the emotions they’d spent three years trying to bury.
So, they settle for the violin.
Steady hands with an unsteady mind, drowning out the ringing in their ears.
Black notes on white pages, blocking out Maggie’s face.
--
It’s day three when they find the bottle of scotch their dad brings – brought – out when they have guests over.
It sits unopened on their desk for days four and five, and on day six, they twist the lid off and take a cautious gulp.
Day seven is the funeral.
Half of the remaining scotch slips down easily and it takes them two attempts to screw on the lid.
It’s hard to notice its effect when they’re already so numb.
Weeks two and three are the most drawn out weeks of their life.
At first, they sleep more than they ever have, willing this nightmare to be over each time they open their eyes to a new day and a fleeting second of normality before the eerie silence of the house hits them like a sledgehammer to the chest and they know it’s real, know they can’t be dreaming the vacuum inside them that takes all of their breath and none of their pain.
Then they don’t sleep at all, to put off freefalling through his absence every morning, to put off the dreams where he is alive and happy and joking, to put off another day of the whispers at school.
They don’t surf. He isn’t there to see it.
They study, and they drink, and they practice their violin.
They try to practice.
It’s hard.
After all, what use is a shaking hand from the burn of liquor down your throat and the burn of something else entirely in your heart?
--
The next day, they sit on the other side of the lecture hall. As soon as they’ve pulled out a pen, the lecture starts, and they look across at Maggie exactly once to see her three rows down, watching the lecturer intently.
--
They don’t sit in their usual library seat, instead finding a secluded corner. Maggie arrives five minutes later at their usual table and they see her slow as she finds it empty of both Alex and a Tuesday sandwich.
She sits anyway.
--
Alex comes out of the lab and stops in their tracks. Maggie is leaning against their locker, arms folded and ankles crossed, and she pushes off with her shoulders to walk towards them, concern on her face.
They push past her. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
“You weren’t answering my texts or calls. I was worried.”
“I – I’ve been busy. I’m sorry.” They yank on their sweater, head still inside the locker.
“Is this a bad time?”
“Yeah, yeah it is, kinda.” Alex grabs their bag and slams the door shut, spinning around to find Maggie closer than she sounded. “I’m in the middle of an assignment.”
They focus on a spot on the wall just above Maggie’s head. “It’s a challenging one and I’m not sure any of our class get it, to be honest.”
“If anyone can figure it out, it’s you,” says Maggie in a way that makes them meet her eyes and they wonder, briefly, how they thought they deserved someone so supportive and with so much confidence in them.
“I knew this was going to happen, I knew it,” mutters Alex and they bolt for the stairs, Maggie chasing after them.
“What are you talking about?”
“I was happy for like, five minutes.”
“What?” Maggie lands at the bottom of the stairs first and stops in front of Alex.
They readjust their bag and shake their head. “I – I’m sorry, this isn’t going to work. It was a mistake. I’m sorry. I can’t.”
A professor slips past them and Alex nods at her. When they turn back, Maggie’s face is unreadable and Alex panics that she’s answered and they’ve missed it.
“Okay.” Maggie takes a breath. There’s a split second where they could jump in and take it all back, but they don’t. “Got it. See you, Danvers.”
No. They wouldn’t miss that.
--
The implications of what they said don’t sink in until they’re opening their door. They freeze in the doorway. Lucy is on the floor in the middle of a plank and Alex stares at the back of her head.
“What’s the difference,” says Alex slowly, “between a fight and a break up?”
Lucy hits the floor and rolls over. “Well, I didn’t see that one coming.” She sits up and Alex inches further into the room. “You think you broke up?”
“I don’t know.” Alex rubs their eyes. “I don’t know, Lucy.”
“Sit.” Lucy points them to her bed and they sink into it. “Start from the beginning.”
Alex recounts it all, monotonously, twisting their hands.
“What do you want to happen now?” Lucy asks when they’ve finished.
“If I knew that, I wouldn’t be here,” says Alex. “I need a drink.”
Lucy watches wordlessly as they open their sock drawer and unscrew the lid of their vodka.
They don’t drink immediately. “I told her we were a mistake.” Alex takes a swig, staring at the scratches on the wall. “I don’t want her to think it’s her that’s the mistake.”
Alex takes a smaller sip then points at Lucy. “You and me, that’s the only remotely normal relationship I’ve had in my life.”
“Watch who you’re calling normal,” Lucy murmurs, her eyes tracking Alex as they start to pace.
“I have an alien for a sister. My dad died in a freak accident which no one is ever going to tell me about, my mom is only interested in me following in his scientific footsteps, and I haven’t spoken to Vicky in years. Maggie is the first person I’ve ever wanted to date, Luce, but she’s too good for someone who can’t balance romance with the rest of their life.”
“Did you tell her that?”
“No.” Alex sips again.
“Call her,” Lucy says. Alex twitches. “Call her and talk to her. Tell her what you told me and give her a chance to respond.”
Alex examines the chemical stains on their hands. “She won’t want to talk to me.”
“And you know that how? With your magical crystal ball?” Lucy reaches for Alex’s phone and scrolls through until she finds Maggie’s number. “Call her. The Alex Danvers I know owns up to their mistakes,” she says frankly, “so go and do that.”
They take the phone but don’t press call. Maggie’s face stares up at them, dimples on full.
“Call her, you useless gay,” Lucy calls from the other end of the bed, and Alex finds the bottle of vodka being prised from their grip. “And therapy time with Lucy is now over.”
--
“Al, it’s your girlfriend.”
Alex takes Lucy’s place at the door and curls their head around it. Maggie’s arms are crossed and she looks like she’d rather be anywhere else than in front of them. When they look at her eyes and see them resigned, they can’t blame her.
“Thanks for coming.”
Maggie’s fingers tighten in the folds of her flannel and she stands straighter. “I almost didn’t.”
Alex takes a step backwards as Maggie barges through and their arm brushes against Lucy, jacket in hand.
“I’ll let you talk,” Lucy says. It’s a good idea, Alex knows, but they want to drag her back and make her mediate this conversation with Maggie, who looks like she’s trying not to slam the door and get of there.
Maggie fixes them with a cold, unwavering stare and they release a long breath. The room behind them is still and quiet, the corner they’re standing in dim with artificial light, and Maggie’s determined, tilted head is silhouetted against the quietly closing door behind her.
“Do you want a drink?”
“Cut to it, Danvers.” Maggie’s voice is tight and Alex isn’t sure what she thinks they’re going to say. They try to school their features into something less terrified and more reassuring. It feels like a pained grimace so they duck their head and grab a beer for themselves, returning to their serious expression.
“I feel like the universe is magically smacking me down from being happy.”
Maggie scoffs a dry laugh. “That’s it? You gotta give me more than that.”
They sort through the speech they prepared, some of it with Lucy, and pick a new starting place.
“Okay. Okay, I,” they nod slowly and try again. “In the bar.”
“Okay.”
“There were all these women coming up to you. Beautiful women, and yet you still came over to me and that - that is confusing.” Alex takes a deep breath. “And I can’t, I just need to know: what do you get out of this relationship?”
Regret tickles their tongue when Maggie flinches away from them.
“What do you get from this relationship, Maggie?”
It’s more of a snap this time and they expect Maggie to flinch again but her eyes soften and no, no, they don’t deserve soft.
“Alex, what are you talking about?”
Maggie reaches for Alex’s hand but they snatch it away and point a finger at her.
“You, you could have had any woman in that bar, any of them, but you settle for me? Me, who - ” They break off and raise their head to glare at the ceiling.
“Alex.” Maggie’s voice is gentle and Alex steels themselves. “What’s going on?”
“I – I – I just need to know why you’re doing this, why me, why – you could have anyone, and I…” they trail off, blinking angrily as their vision starts to blur with tears.
“Being with you isn’t settling, Alex,” Maggie says, voice low, and Alex’s lip curls into a snarl.
“Yeah? I don’t even know what I am or who I am and you don’t deserve that, you deserve someone normal and, and – and not me.”
“Alex.”
“So I figured, I realised, that you’ve got to be in this for another reason, right? There must be something I can give you to make this,” they gesture to themselves in disgust, “worth it.”
“Alex.” Rao, they didn’t mean to hurt her, they didn’t, but there’s pain in Maggie’s eyes now and they can’t look at her because that’s all they do, they are pain, pain for the ones they love and they can’t, they shouldn’t have even tried – “Alex, look at me.”
It takes a deep breath and their knuckles starting to burn from too tight fists for Alex to finally look at her.
“What’s going on?” Maggie repeats, gently, and Alex starts shaking their head. “You can tell me anything.”
They dip their head and their lip trembles but they don’t answer.
“Did something happen at home?”
How. How did she know?
Alex raises their eyes and Maggie gives a small nod, taking a tiny step forward.
“What happened with your mom?”
There’s so much they want to tell Maggie but saying it out loud sounds like a confession of not being able to cope. Not being strong enough.
They roll the words around their mouth. Off-script words now that Lucy may suspect but never hear, they don’t know, they can’t tell if these words are obvious to anyone but them. They tug at them, arranging them into an order that burns like a brand on their tongue and then they can’t hold them in any longer.
“It’s relentless in that house,” they whisper. “It’s constant. She and her and sister and daughter and I get back here and suddenly I can be they again and I can be happy being me without feeling like I’m supposed to be ashamed of it. You make me so happy, Maggie, but spending time in that house makes me wonder how much I deserve it.”
“Alex.” She sounds like she wants to jump in but if they don’t get this out now they never will so they hold up a hand, a tiny wave, and she nods.
“You know, I have always felt so…responsible. Like, weight of the world responsible. And my parents always relied on me to watch over my sister, so the few times that I did anything for myself, it ended badly, and now I remember why.”
Alex runs a hand through their hair. They’ve never talked about this before. They can’t tell Kara about it. They don’t want to tell Lucy about it and chance pointing out even more differences between them and Kara, and Lucy and Lois.
“My sister… she deserves the world. And when I can give that to her, a safe home away from whatever the kids at school do or say, that’s huge, and I’ve always, always known that I will do anything to protect her including forfeiting myself because when Mom and I get going, it effects Kara. I can’t protect Kara when I’m putting me first.”
It feels like Kara’s squeezing all the air out of their chest and they wrap their arms around themselves, before shaking their head in bewilderment.
“I’ve never doubted myself so much, you know. And I want to be able to say that what my mom thinks doesn’t matter to me but it does. I’ve never doubted that I know myself but…” Alex exhales and shrugs.  “Maybe she’s right and this is just a phase.”
“No,” Maggie says firmly, so firmly that Alex’s heart settles instantly. “This is real. You are real. And you deserve a real, full, happy life, as you, in the identity that fits you best. None of us can tell you what you’re feeling, Alex, but whatever it is, it is valid. It is real.”
They search her eyes for the caveat, but there’s just earnest, ferocious, fiery love.
“So.” They puff out their cheeks and gradually blow them out. “That’s what happened. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
Maggie steps back and looks at them for a long time before speaking. “We’ve both got ghosts,” she tells Alex, and Maggie’s eyes glaze over briefly as though one of those ghosts has materialised behind them, “but I don’t want this to become one of them.”
Alex reaches for Maggie’s hand. “It won’t.”
“It will if we don’t start talking about this stuff.”
They don’t respond immediately. They run their thumb over the back of Maggie’s hand and let the ripples in their stomach die away.
“Okay.”
“Okay.” Maggie squeezes their hand. “Because when you went running off on me, saying we were a mistake, I thought I’d done something wrong.”
Alex’s eyes widen in horror. “Maggie, no - ”
“You made my decision for me, you decided it would be better for me to not be with you, and I didn’t get a say.” Maggie takes a deep breath. “That’s not fair on me. I deserve more than that.”
Alex tries to imagine what happened to Maggie to make her words hold a note of uncertainty underlined with pride. They nod. “I know.”
“And you don’t have to tell me the details, okay? Just don’t run without an explanation. I can’t stop bad things happening to you but I can help you through them and I deserve to be allowed to make the choice to do that.”
There’s a moment of silence, Maggie steadfastly holding Alex’s gaze as firmly as she’s holding their hand.
“You were never the mistake,” says Alex quietly. “You’re not a mistake. You’re real too.”
The hug Maggie draws them into feels more real than anything they’ve felt in the last week and they melt into her arms, suddenly and brilliantly completely in the moment.
--
Alex stirs and tries to roll over to look at the time. A weight pinning them down stops them and they freeze. Looking down at where dark hair peeks out of the top of their duvet, they smile at the sight of Maggie curled tightly on top of them, nose squished into their chest.
Alex snakes out an arm and flaps it towards their phone, little finger snagging the charger and sending it crashing to the floor. Maggie opens one eye, sees Alex where she expects them to be, and closes it again.
They swear under their breath when Lucy grunts at them and hope she doesn’t notice Maggie repositioning herself.
“Danvers?” says Lucy groggily.
“Lane?” Alex answers as quietly as they can. Maggie’s hand flops onto their mouth and sleepy eyes peer up at them.
“Shhhhhhhh,” she says with the coherence of someone still half-asleep. Lucy is suddenly awake and peeling the covers off them both. Alex pushes her away with their free hand and Lucy dodges it, snickering.
“Cosy.”
“Cold!” Maggie complains until Lucy’s presence registers in her mind and she stiffens. She squirms around as Alex’s hand rubs her arm reassuringly and she tries to pull the covers back over her head to shield her eyes from the harsh light of the lamp Lucy had decided to turn on.
“Lucy, what are you – no!” Alex half lunges towards Lucy as she grabs their phone from the floor and pulls up the camera.
“Smile,” says Lucy. Maggie groans and mumbles something that neither of the other two catch, holding onto Alex as they spill out of bed in slow motion. Maggie clings to Alex like a koala and they end up in a heap with their legs still tangled in the sheets.
“Lucy fucking Lane,” Alex starts, spitting out a mouthful of hair. “You delete that right now.”
“You kiss your girl with that mouth, Danvers?”
“Yeah,” Maggie declares from Alex’s neck. “They do.”
Lucy watches as Alex’s gaze softens and their entire body melts into Maggie. “I see you two have made up.”
Maggie stiffens again.
“Yeah,” says Alex quietly. “We talked.”
Lucy smirks. “Looks like more than just talking.” Alex throws a pillow at her head. “Can I interest you two nerds in coffee, or should I get my books and go?”
Maggie wriggles into a sitting position and clutches the sheets to her chest. “Coffee.”
“We could get coffee later.” Alex hooks their foot under Maggie’s knee and tries to pull her back down.
“Coffee,” Maggie says more firmly, glancing up at Lucy who squints at Alex with an unreadable expression. Alex looks between them and sighs. They roll onto their side and prop their head up with their hand.
“Fine.”
--
Alex walks between Lucy and Maggie on the way to the café. They keep hold of Maggie’s hand even as they slide onto the bench after her.
Across the table, they see Lucy not so subtly take another photo of them but as they inhale the heavenly coffee fumes they find they don’t care – or at least, they care less than they did that morning, because Maggie’s hand in theirs is small and warm and Lucy’s knee knocking against theirs is so Lucy and familiar, and the messages appearing on their phone screen from Kara in response to what they can only assume is Lucy’s photos is so expected and sisterly and they’re not really okay, but they’re happy, and that’ll do for now.
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fumbliesthots · 4 years
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2019 - Year in Review
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Hello, tumblr journal, long time no see. While you were away I was having rendezvous with 2 other journals - Notion (for work thoughts) and my exercise book (for personal mundane reflections). But you probably already guessed it.
But you see, I always will come back to you because we made a pact to see each other at least twice a year, isn’t it? On June 19 and Dec 31.
So you would like to interview me about what I’ve been up to this year? Oh how kind! There are quite few people in this world is interested in little old me, hee.
1. What are your favourite memories this year?
Tele and phone calls from Jappu. Janchan and I have grown in our friendship this year surprisingly despite her being away for such a long time. I have learnt that long distance friendship is kinda fun (in fact when she was coming back home I was even a bit upset)!
Travelling with Jessi laoniang is always a treat. She is entertaining in her unassuming and authentic ways and I enjoy her cheerful company.
The monthly Kampung Sketching sessions. It’s really cool to see Lingsan overcome her fear of hosting events and now she is a pro. And to see people coming to the kampung for the first time and drawings of the kampung in so many different interesting angles.
2. What trips have you made this year and what were some highlights?
i) Prague work trip with Lulu and Claire - Snow sledding in the mountains, and going to a Czech police station to report a scam, hanging out with chor and gary after work.
ii) New Zealand with the family - Breathtaking mountain views, hiking in the rain in full gear, and skydiving over the glaciers.
iii) Beijing IXDC trip with Jess - The making of our fried chicken MV was so much fun! And eating 小龙虾,鸭脖 and beer at midnight at the hostel corridor.
iv) Boxmeer/Prague/Bruges - Business trip by myself for the first time was kinda liberating, and also getting to visit Eos in Brugge again.
v) BKK UX Savvy trip with the team - boring conference but awesome company. 5am clubbu gymmy and brekki with meowchan.
vi) JB with Lulu and Jan - making up silly animal stories, shiok Thai massage, being tickled at their new hair transformations, and interesting Grab/JB customs adventure to end it off.
3. What is the biggest change you noticed about yourself this year?
I noticed ever since taking on this role in Design Operations, I started to come out of my shell a bit more, wanting to take care of my colleagues and doing things to make sure they are happy at work. Despite being an introvert, I realised I enjoy socialising with people and making people feel comfortable. And i have also become a bit more assertive and confident in things that I believe are right to do.
4. What was the biggest challenge you had to face this year?
Politics at work busted my idealistic bubble. I was a bit upset when I heard stories of people fighting and competing with each other... just for promotion, raises and recognition. Isn’t it ridiculous? But perhaps to survive in the corporate world I have to just do my best and accept that this is normal but try not to get sucked into all the negativity.
Just stay on course, remember what you are here for - to help people solve their problems, and give it your all! Ego is the enemy.
I also learnt that sometimes my happy-go-lucky attitude doesn’t work well on everyone, and might even offend people who takes things very seriously. I need to be careful about that. But it is a tough habit to kick, because sometimes I can get slightly antsy when someone around me is in a bad mood and I don’t know why, and I would want to do something to neutralise that mood.
5. Read any good books?
Ever since I got Libby, I have been devouring new books every month, and I am learning so much! The most impactful to me this year is probably The Power Of Moments by Chip and Dan Heath. And the second one is also by the same author, Switch. These 2 books made me understand more about human psychology and how to motivate people to do things.
Other special mentions are Radical Candor (about how being brutally honest and caring personally is important) and Never Split The Difference (a book on negotiation). I learnt so much from these books that I even made nerdy ppt slides to share them with my friends, forcing them to sit through my presentations, heh. Poor things.
6. Any people you’d like to thank this year?
I can never thank my parents enough for all the things they provide me, so this top spot will always be saved for them. Although they always nag at me, and never emotionally expressive, the things they do for my siblings and I is really unconditional love.
As usual, my UX family whom I spend perhaps even more time than my actual family. This has been a year of experiments and emotional up and downs. But I feel we have learnt and grown a lot together as a team.
And all my friends. Who taught me so many things through their life stories and inspiring me to be better. Thanks to them, just a text, a call, or a meetup away, I am never lonely. (I sometimes do really wonder how that feels like!)
Ajahn Brahm. Hehe, this is a great monk that I have learnt a lot from and he probably has changed my life already. To be kindful, to be gentle, to be peaceful is to be happy.
7. What were some new things you tried this year?
5am club. Exercise regime. Brewing my own filter coffee. Getting more regular in short 15min sittings. Starting a work journal to reflect about things and people at work.
8. Name some of your favourite things of 2019
Ajahn Brahm’s dhamma talks - I always thought that I was a glass-half-full kind of girl but recently after getting hooked onto Ajahn Brahm’s stories on youtube, I became even more so. I also enjoyed repeating those stories to my friends, especially when I thought they could use some positivity to help them see their life difficulties from a different perspective. So much so that even my boss used one of the stories I told to tease me every time i made a very “evon” mistake. (Mmm... honey...)
Sodastream - I bought this for the family so that my brothers would stop buying unhealthy soft drinks. It worked! Mmm.. soda water.
Janchan’s morning challenges - thats how i started waking up early and getting productive in the mornings. But that girl does not follow through to her own challenges, tsk tsk.
Audrey’s life hack for bubble tea cup - use a silicone bag! I have amused many woobbee and each-a-cup aunties when i bring it to dabao my bubble tea.
9. What were your new year resolutions last year and how did you do?
Well well well. Let’s see.
1- Figure out how to be a leader: I am learning a lot just by observing the way boss does things. I hope he can be our leader in many years to come so I will always have the privilege to learn from him.
2 - Being more articulate and assertive: In some ways I realised I have subconsciously learned to do that in situations that requires me to do so. And the trick is just to do it with humble confidence.
3 - Plan more and be less slipshod about things: Hmm... as an operations lead I suppose I should feel guilty about not working on this more. But as I have learnt from a very wise monk, too much planning is futile sometimes, and may cause unnecessary stress on yourself and others, hehe. I kid. I will carry this rezzo forward to next year.
4 - Being more caring with my parents: Still working on it. And sometimes I will tend to fall into my old habits of silent avoidance, especially when they start nagging. But I think this year I have tried being more attentive to their needs, and talking more.
5 - Continue staying healthy: I think I’m doing pretty well in this, especially since starting to wake up super early. I have more time to workout physically with my simple exercise regime, as well as mentally through short meditation sittings and journal writing.
10. Rezzos for 2020 to start the year off of?
1 - Continue working on trying to care more for my parents, and take on more responsibilities regarding household stuff. Make them less worried that their kids can’t be independent without them.
2 - I want to try writing, and develop my own voice. As I learn more about leadership and being human, I thought should document this journey in someway so that perhaps it could help someone else one day on a similar path too.
3 - I’m surprised I didn’t mention anything about money in last year’s post. That is something I’ve always be clueless about. And today I made a ditch attempt to be more “adult” by getting a credit card, so that I can get more interests out of my bank... or something. Yeah, ok I will try to learn more about this finance thing in 2020!
4 - Find a new personal project that can give me a belly burning feeling, that is not work related. Ok la, maybe no need belly burn, just a mild tingle also can. Something that I would be excited to work on for at least a couple of months.
5 - What’s that thing about being less slipshod again? 🤔
0 notes
waylonkfjg263-blog · 5 years
Text
What Zombies Can Teach You About Weight Loss & Control
After many years of spending time with the guys drinking beer, the weekly family functions that offer a tremendous buffet of foods, and of course the daily routine of picking up fastfood. ... the calories had started to show. Let's face it, it's difficult attempting to juggle all our daily activities and forgetting what we are doing to the bodies. After many years of packing around the pounds, I finally said I was going to slim down and STICK WITH IT!
So here was my real motivation to begin. My younger brother recently joined the army and had remarked that he transformed from a pudgy punk for this super-soldier that took him under three months to change. It was like almost all the time!! With results like this, I asked myself, I think I need to sign up the army to get rid of this gut! Well, the army isn't for me - I fully support our troops but I'm sorry, it is not for me personally. With my health continuing to fall, my love life virtually non-existent, and noticing that I've been getting sick and tired of everything I do, I finally came to the realization that I needed help. So I swallowed my pride and asked my brother what I can do. So my brother gave me a little gem and recommended me to learn and adhere to a course called "Combat The Fat" from. Apparently from what I gathered out of this course, it revealed training that military personnel endured every single day, however, it absolutely was tailored for the common joe. The one tip that I can remember him giving me before deploying overseas, ended up being workout each morning. Soldiers don't wait to exercise at night - they workout each morning. This was possibly the best tip that has been provided to me to jump-start my quest to reduce weight and STICKING TO IT!
Without a doubt, I knew this is not going to be easy as I usually woke up at 7 am to get ready by 8 am and to become at work with 9 am. This would mean I would ought to 'sacrifice' a half-hour of my precious, precious sleep. Well, it was until I viewed my "jelly belly" and, nothing worked as a chef and I need to do this. And as I gathered more details from your course, it forced me to be know that there are lots of benefits to training each day than at night.
See below for your benefits I experienced.
* I feel so energized to begin the morning and satisfied that it's DONE and out of the way! No more excuses!!
* I burn calories for hours while I'm sleeping. Now I can burn MORE CALORIES and MORE FAT each day since there is nothing in my stomach.
* I now love breakfast (instead of missing breakfast - which has been a big no-no for me personally in the past). Yes - believe me, you will be very hungry after training session! Just remember - no bacon as well as other greasy foods...Since I possess a tight schedule in the am, fruits and cereals worked personally along with a protein shake (I use Vanilla Whey Maxx from - tastes great, quick to make[no blender needed] and contains over 24 grams of protein per scoop).
* It had opened selecting taking part in an activity/sport at night. In my case, I like to ride my bike, rollerblade, or play golf(walking with all the pull cart) whenever I have time or if the elements conditions permit it.
* I was asked to choosing healthier foods since I would feel guilty about eating a donut or fried chicken or even a Big-Mac during the morning (why waste such a good workout?)
* If there was a morning that I can't arrive at the fitness center, I made certain I was there in the evening. (providing me 2 chances to get to the fitness center).
* If you search for a gym, you can find far fewer people at a health club. No waiting for machines, exercise ball, workout bench or free-weights.
So, you have to be convinced now that morning work outs are far better. If so, expect an adjustment period. The same way you're jet-lagged after a distant trip or drowsy once you suddenly ought to switch in the graveyard shift to a regular 9 to 5 shift, doing exercises each morning will require some lag time. Here are a couple of of my tips that may help you begin in getting up every day.
* Go to bed one hour earlier. I used to retire for the night at about 2 am every night. Since I know now that you burn calories while you sleep, I changed my sleeping patterns to go to bed at 11:00 pm.
youtube
* Get a great noisy alarms - I have 2 alarms (Sony alarm clock and cellphone alarm) to wake me up for 6 am.
* Get a timer that turns around the lights to suit your needs. I purchased a light switch where activates my light at 6 am. You can also check out Homedepot and purchase one as well.
* Brush your teeth and wash your face. - this will aid feel a good deal fresher each day.
* Have your workout schedule ready the night time before. Since I was with all the info from Combat The Fat, it provided me a fairly easy schedule to follow along with with various exercises on a daily basis, eliminating boredom.
* Have your exercise routine clothes prepared the night time before. - I have woken up more often than not each day and found myself wasting many precious minutes scrambling seeking clothes, shoes, water bottle, etc. This step eliminates that possibility.
* Bring a person. - Since I got my wife into it, we both help each other to awaken and do our workout. This has not only improved my relationship with my partner, but I'm receiving targeted sex today! Woohoo! :-)
* Try to help make your morning working out as convenient as is possible by either creating your own home gym or choosing a gym that is certainly near to your work/home. - I liked the home gym option as it enables me to observe the morning news while I'm on the treadmill. (I attached a little LCD screen for it) :-)
* Get an iPod or Mp3 player to help together with your motivation. - My wife uses her iPod to maintain her motivated throughout her workout. As a helpful tip, choose fast-paced music because your body will automatically desire to "move while using beat" without even considering it.
* Find a picture from your internet of what you would want to resemble and display it inside a stick it in a area you will see every morning (e.g about the mirror with your bathroom)...Believe it or not, as well as important. Do not skip this task. This will help you keep the focus on the "prize" of needing that slender body. I chose Mark Wahlberg (in the Calvin Klien ad) as a result of his cool physique, not his bad acting...
* Stretch!? Since you just awakened, parts of your muscles need a good stretch. Learn from my mistake for not stretching and made to take 4 days off because of pains in my legs and back. Don’t certainly be a victim.
* And finally, possess a burning desire to lose weight! Everyone has their reasons behind shedding pounds. Either it's for your health, self-esteem or if you use a favorite suit or dress that you just always wanted to squeeze into. Start TODAY - your efforts WILL PAY OFF.
So case a fraction of what I learned from not simply my buddy, but additionally from that which was learned from "Combat The Fat". I need to credit them both for losing 40lbs so far and searching forward to reaching my goal of a total of 70 lbs. Other than the top to exercising each morning, this course had assisted with changing my "lifestyle" of the items I eat, the amount I eat, how you can exercise, what areas from the body that want work when. Dieting alone with my creation of an workout plan has never worked to me before, because weight loss only agreed to be temporary(I previously gained back products was lost) as well as felt like I did not know what I was doing. Diet pills (I think I've tried every one of them) never worked for me either. And finally, my last tip to you personally all is, have your cheat day(not days) to nibble on whatever you desire (including a Big Mac), but DO NOT OVER EAT. Changing your "lifestyle" to eat the best foods and incorporate daily exercises in your daily routine WILL reduce your waistline.
Tumblr media
0 notes
trevorrsol246-blog · 5 years
Text
How To Quit Weight Loss & Control In 5 Days
After many years of hanging out with the fellows drinking beer, the weekly family functions offering an enormous buffet of foods, and of course the daily routine of obtaining take out. ... the calories had did start to show. Let's face it, it's tough attempting to juggle all our day to day activities and forgetting what we have been doing to your bodies. After many years of packing on the pounds, I finally said I was planning to shed weight and STICK WITH IT!
So here was my real motivation to get started. My younger brother recently joined the army together remarked that he transformed from your pudgy punk to this super-soldier that took him below 3 months to improve. It was like night and day!! With results like that, I asked myself, I think I need to become listed on the army to get rid on this gut! Well, the army just isn't to me - I fully support our troops but I'm sorry, it is not to me. With my health heading down, my love life basically non-existent, and noticing that I've been getting tired of everything I do, I finally found the realization that I needed help. So I swallowed my pride and asked my brother what I are able to do. So my brother gave me a little gem and recommended me you just read and consume a course called "Combat The Fat" from. Apparently from what I gathered using this course, it revealed training that most military personnel endured every single day, however, it was tailored for the normal joe. The one tip that I can remember him giving me before deploying overseas, ended up being to work out each morning. Soldiers don't wait to figure out later in the day - they workout each day. This was possibly the best tip that was provided to me to jump-start my quest to reduce weight and STICKING TO IT!
Without question, I knew this was not going to be easy as I usually wakened at 7 am being ready by 8 am and to become at benefit 9 am. This would mean I would must 'sacrifice' a half-hour of my precious, precious sleep. Well, this was until I checked out my "jelly belly" and, nothing did and I should do this. And as I gathered more information through the course, it forced me to be know that there are numerous benefits to exercising each day than later in the day.
See below for the benefits I experienced.
Tumblr media
* I feel so energized to start out the morning and satisfied that it is DONE and out with the way! No more excuses!!
youtube
* I burn calories for hours while I'm sleeping. Now I can burn MORE CALORIES and MORE FAT each morning since there were nothing in my stomach.
* I now revel in breakfast (instead of missing breakfast - which has been a major no-no personally previously). Yes - count on me, you are going to be very hungry after training session! Just remember - no bacon and other greasy foods...Since I have a very tight schedule inside am, fruits and cereals worked to me along having a protein shake (I use Vanilla Whey Maxx from - tastes great, quick to make[no blender needed] and possesses over 24 grams of protein per scoop).
* It had opened selecting doing an activity/sport at nighttime. In my case, I like to ride my bike, rollerblade, or play golf(walking with all the pull cart) whenever I have time or if the next thunderstorm conditions permit it.
* I was inspired to choosing healthier foods since I would feel guilty about eating a donut or fried chicken or a Big-Mac during your day (why waste such an excellent workout?)
* If there were a morning that I could not reach a health club, I ensured I was there in the evening. (providing me 2 chances to make it to the fitness center).
* If you visit a gym, you will find far fewer people at a fitness center. No looking forward to machines, exercise ball, workout bench or free-weights.
So, you have to be convinced given that morning work outs are more efficient. If so, expect an adjustment period. The same way you're jet-lagged after a distant trip or drowsy if you suddenly have to switch from your graveyard shift to your regular 9 to 5 shift, working out each morning will require some lag time. Here are a few of my tips that may help you get going in enabling up every day.
* Go to bed an hour earlier. I used to hit the sack at about 2 am each night. Since I know now that you simply burn calories when you sleep, I changed my sleeping patterns to hit the sack at 11:00 pm.
* Get a good alarm clock - I have 2 alarms (Sony noisy alarms and cellular phone alarm) to wake me up for 6 am.
* Get a timer that turns on the lights in your case. I purchased a light switch that turns on my light at 6 am. You can also head to Homedepot and buy one also.
* Brush your teeth and wash the face. - this will aid feel a whole lot fresher in the morning.
* Have your workout schedule ready the evening before. Since I was with all the info from Combat The Fat, it provided me a fairly easy schedule to check out with assorted exercises every day, eliminating boredom.
* Have your exercise routine clothes prepared the evening before. - I have woken up often in the morning and discovered myself wasting many precious minutes scrambling looking for clothes, shoes, water bottle, etc. This step eliminates that possibility.
* Bring someone. - Since I got my wife into it, we both help the other to awaken and do our workout. This has not only improved my relationship with my spouse, but I'm getting more sex these days! Woohoo! :-)
* Try to you could make your morning training as convenient as you can by either creating your house gym or selecting a gym that is close to your work/home. - I liked the house gym option mainly because it enables me to look at the morning news while I'm on the treadmill. (I attached a smaller LCD screen to it) :-)
* Get an iPod or Mp3 player to aid together with your motivation. - My wife uses her iPod to hold her motivated throughout her workout. As a helpful tip, choose fast-paced music as the body will automatically want to "move while using beat" without even great deal of thought.
* Find a picture from your internet of the you would want to look like and display it in the put it in a area you'll see every day (e.g about the mirror inside your bathroom)...Believe it or not, this is extremely important. Do not skip this. This will help you maintain your focus for the "prize" of having that slender body. I chose Mark Wahlberg (in his Calvin Klien ad) due to his cool physique, not his bad acting...
* Stretch!? Since you just wakened, your muscles need an excellent stretch. Learn from my mistake for not stretching and forced to take 4 days off due to pains within my legs and back. Don’t be a victim.
* And finally, possess a burning desire to lose weight! Everyone has their reasons behind shedding pounds. Either it can be to improve your health, self-esteem or if you have a favorite suit or dress that you simply always wanted to squeeze into. Start TODAY - your work WILL PAY OFF.
So case a fraction of the items I learned from not just my friend, but also from that which was learned from "Combat The Fat". I must credit them both for losing 40lbs so far looking to reaching achieve of an total of 70 lbs. Other than the tip to doing exercises in the morning, this system had assisted with changing my "lifestyle" products I eat, how much I eat, the best way to exercise, what areas of the body that need work so when. Dieting alone with my creation of your workout plan has never worked for me previously, as the weight-loss was just temporary(I previously gained back of the was lost) as well as felt like I did not know what I was doing. Diet pills (I think I've tried all of them) never worked for me personally either. And finally, my last tip to you personally all is, have your cheat day(not days) to nibble on that one thing (including a Big Mac), but DO NOT OVER EAT. Changing your "lifestyle" to nibble on the correct foods and incorporate daily exercises to your daily routine WILL decrease your waistline.
0 notes
sergiofeed651-blog · 5 years
Text
The Philosophy Of Weight Loss & Control
After many years of spending time with the people drinking beer, the weekly family functions that supply a massive buffet of foods, and lastly the daily routine of collecting fastfood. ... the calories had began to show. Let's face it, it's hard wanting to juggle all of our activities and forgetting what we are doing to your bodies. After many years of packing about the pounds, I finally said I was planning to slim down and STICK WITH IT!
So here was my real motivation to begin. My younger brother recently joined the army together pointed out that he transformed from your pudgy punk to this particular super-soldier that took him below a couple of months to alter. It was like day and night!! With results like that, I asked myself, I think I need to participate the army to get rid of the gut! Well, the army isn't personally - I fully support our troops but I'm sorry, it's not personally. With my health taking, my love life pretty much non-existent, and noticing that I've been getting sick and tired with everything I do, I finally found the realization that I needed help. So I swallowed my pride and asked my cousin what I can perform. So my brother gave me a tip and recommended me to learn and consume a course called "Combat The Fat" from. Apparently from what I gathered from this course, it revealed training that every military personnel endured each day, however, it turned out tailored for the common joe. The one tip that I can remember him giving me before deploying overseas, ended up being work out each morning. Soldiers don't wait to workout at nighttime - they workout each day. This was possibly the best tip that has been given to me to jump-start my quest to get rid of weight and STICKING TO IT!
youtube
Without a doubt, I knew this is not going to be easy as I usually wakened at 7 am to become ready by 8 am and to get at benefit 9 am. This would mean I would have to 'sacrifice' a half-hour of my precious, precious sleep. Well, it was until I checked out my "jelly belly" and, nothing spent some time working and I need to do this. And as I gathered additional information through the course, it made me understand that there are numerous benefits to working out each morning than at nighttime.
See below for that benefits I experienced.
* I feel so energized to get started on the day and satisfied that it's DONE and out with the way! No more excuses!!
* I burn calories through the night while I'm sleeping. Now I can burn MORE CALORIES and MORE FAT each morning since there is nothing within my stomach.
* I now revel in breakfast (as an alternative to missing breakfast - that has been a huge no-no to me before). Yes - keep in mind that, you will be very hungry after your workout! Just remember - no bacon along with other greasy foods...Since I possess a tight schedule within the am, fruits and cereals worked to me along with a protein shake (I use Vanilla Whey Maxx from - tastes great, quick to make[no blender needed] and contains over 24 grams of protein per scoop).
* It had opened the option of participating in an activity/sport in the evening. In my case, I like to ride my bike, rollerblade, or play golf(walking with all the pull cart) whenever I have time or if the elements conditions permit it.
* I was asked to choosing healthier foods since I would feel guilty about eating a donut or the fried chicken or a Big-Mac during the day (why waste such a great workout?)
* If there was a morning that I couldn't reach the gym, I ensured I was there in the evening. (providing me 2 chances to reach the gym).
* If you visit a gym, you will find far fewer people at a fitness center. No expecting machines, exercise ball, workout bench or free-weights.
So, you should be convinced now that morning workouts are more efficient. If so, expect an adjustment period. The same way you're jet-lagged after a foreign trip or drowsy whenever you suddenly ought to switch through the graveyard shift to some regular 9 to 5 shift, training every day will need some lag time. Here are a number of of my tips which will help you get started in enabling up every day.
* Go to bed an hour or so earlier. I used to hit the sack at about 2 am nightly. Since I know now that you simply burn calories when you sleep, I changed my sleeping patterns to hit the sack at 11:00 pm.
* Get a great noisy alarms - I have 2 alarms (Sony alarm clock and cellular phone alarm) to wake me up for 6 am.
* Get a timer that turns on the lights in your case. I purchased an easy switch from where switches on my light at 6 am. You can also visit Homedepot and pick one up as well.
* Brush your teeth and wash see your face. - this should help you feel a lot fresher every day.
* Have your regular workout schedule ready the night before. Since I was using the info from Combat The Fat, it provided me an easy schedule to follow along with with various exercises on a daily basis, eliminating boredom.
* Have your workout clothes prepared the night before. - I have woken up more often than not each day and found myself wasting many precious minutes scrambling seeking clothes, shoes, water bottle, etc. This step eliminates that possibility.
* Bring someone. - Since I got my partner in it, both of us help one another to wake and do our workout. This has not merely improved my relationship with my spouse, but I'm reading good sex today! Woohoo! :-)
* Try to you could make your morning doing exercises as convenient as possible by either creating your home gym or choosing a gym that is certainly close to your work/home. - I liked the house gym option because it enables me to view the morning news while I'm around the treadmill. (I attached a little LCD screen into it) :-)
* Get an iPod or Mp3 player to help together with your motivation. - My wife uses her iPod to help keep her motivated throughout her workout. As a helpful tip, choose fast-paced music because your body will automatically desire to "move while using beat" without even great deal of thought.
* Find a picture in the internet of the items you would want to appear to be and display it in a stick it in a area you may see every day (e.g about the mirror within your bathroom)...Believe it or not, this is extremely important. Do not skip this. This will help you maintain the focus around the "prize" of having that slender body. I chose Mark Wahlberg (in his Calvin Klien ad) due to his cool physique, not his bad acting...
* Stretch!? Since you just wakened, your muscles need a fantastic stretch. Learn from my mistake for not stretching and made to take 4 days off because of pains within my legs and back. Don’t be described as a victim.
* And finally, have a burning desire to lose weight! Everyone has their reasons for losing weight. Either it can be to improve your health, self-esteem or if you have a favorite suit or dress that you simply always wanted to fit into. Start TODAY - your effort WILL PAY OFF.
Tumblr media
So accusation in court a fraction products I learned from not merely my cousin, but additionally from what was learned from "Combat The Fat". I must credit them both for losing 40lbs up to now and searching forward to reaching achieve of your total of 70 lbs. Other than the top to doing exercises in the morning, this program had assisted with changing my "lifestyle" of the items I eat, the amount I eat, the way to exercise, what areas in the body that want work and when. Dieting alone with my creation of your workout plan has never worked for me previously, because the weight reduction only agreed to be temporary(I previously gained back of the was lost) as well as felt like I did not know what I was doing. Diet pills (I think I've tried every one of them) never worked for me personally either. And finally, my last tip to you personally all is, have your cheat day(not days) to consume whatever you desire (including a Big Mac), but DO NOT OVER EAT. Changing your "lifestyle" to consume the best foods and incorporate daily exercises to your daily routine WILL lessen your waistline.
0 notes
cruzmjlf602-blog · 5 years
Text
15 Tips For Weight Loss & Control Success
After many years of spending time with the fellows drinking beer, the weekly family functions that provide a huge buffet of foods, and lastly the daily routine of picking up fast food. ... the calories had began to show. Let's face it, it's tough trying to juggle all of our daily activities and forgetting what we have been doing to your bodies. After many years of packing for the pounds, I finally said I was planning to lose weight and STICK WITH IT!
So here was my real motivation to begin. My younger brother recently joined the army coupled with realized that he transformed from your pudgy punk to this super-soldier that took him less than a few months to improve. It was like 24 / 7!! With results prefer that, I asked myself, I think I need to become listed on the army to get rid of this gut! Well, the army just isn't personally - I fully support our troops but I'm sorry, it isn't for me personally. With my health taking, my sex life pretty much non-existent, and noticing that I've been getting tired of everything I do, I finally came to the realization that I needed help. So I swallowed my pride and asked my buddy what I can do. So my buddy gave me a little gem and recommended me to learn and have a course called "Combat The Fat" from. Apparently from what I gathered out of this course, it revealed training that all military personnel endured each day, however, it turned out tailored for the average joe. The one tip that I can remember him giving me before deploying overseas, ended up being exercise in the morning. Soldiers don't wait to work out in the evening - they workout each day. This was possibly the best tip that's presented to me to jump-start my quest to get rid of weight and STICKING TO IT!
Without any doubt, I knew it was not planning to be easy as I usually woke up at 7 am being ready by 8 am and being at work with 9 am. This would mean I would must 'sacrifice' a half-hour of my precious, precious sleep. Well, this was until I looked over my "jelly belly" and, nothing spent some time working and I should do this. And as I gathered additional information from your course, it made me know that there are numerous benefits to exercising each morning than in the evening.
See below for your benefits I experienced.
* I feel so energized to start the day and satisfied that it's DONE and out of the way! No more excuses!!
* I burn calories all night while I'm sleeping. Now I can burn MORE CALORIES and MORE FAT each morning since there was nothing during my stomach.
* I now really enjoy breakfast (as opposed to missing breakfast - that was a large no-no to me in the past). Yes - keep in mind that, you may be very hungry after training session! Just remember - no bacon and other greasy foods...Since I have a very tight schedule in the am, fruits and cereals worked for me personally along using a protein shake (I use Vanilla Whey Maxx from - tastes great, quick to make[no blender needed] and has over 24 grams of protein per scoop).
* It had opened a choice of taking part in an activity/sport later in the day. In my case, I like to ride my bike, rollerblade, or play golf(walking with all the pull cart) whenever I have time or if the weather conditions permit it.
* I was encouraged to choosing healthier foods since I would feel guilty about eating a donut or fried chicken or possibly a Big-Mac during your day (why waste such a fantastic workout?)
* If there were a morning that I couldn't reach a fitness center, I made certain I was there at night. (providing me 2 chances to make it to the gym).
* If you visit a gym, you'll find far fewer people at the fitness center. No awaiting machines, exercise ball, workout bench or free-weights.
Tumblr media
So, you must be convinced now that morning work outs are more efficient. If so, expect an adjustment period. The same way you're jet-lagged after a foreign trip or drowsy if you suddenly have to switch from your graveyard shift to your regular 9 to 5 shift, working out each day requires some lag time. Here are a number of of my tips that may help you get going in enabling up in the morning.
* Go to bed an hour earlier. I used to go to bed at about 2 am nightly. Since I know now that you just burn calories when you sleep, I changed my sleeping patterns to hit the sack at 11:00 pm.
* Get a fantastic noisy alarms - I have 2 alarms (Sony alarm clock and cellphone alarm) to wake me up for 6 am.
youtube
* Get a timer that turns for the lights to suit your needs. I purchased a light switch where activates my light at 6 am. You can also go to Homedepot and buy one too.
* Brush your teeth and wash the face. - this will help you feel a good deal fresher every day.
* Have training session schedule ready the evening before. Since I was with all the info from Combat The Fat, it provided me an easy schedule to check out with various exercises every day, eliminating boredom.
* Have your regular workout clothes prepared the night before. - I have woken up often times each morning and discovered myself wasting many precious minutes scrambling searching for clothes, shoes, water bottle, etc. This step eliminates that possibility.
* Bring a person. - Since I got my wife in it, both of us help one another to get up and do our workout. This has not merely improved my relationship with my lady, but I'm getting more sex nowadays! Woohoo! :-)
* Try to you could make your morning doing exercises as convenient as possible by either creating your home gym or deciding on a gym that is certainly near to your work/home. - I liked the home gym option since it enables me to look at the morning news while I'm on the treadmill. (I attached a small LCD screen for it) :-)
* Get an iPod or Mp3 player to help together with your motivation. - My wife uses her iPod to keep her motivated throughout her workout. As a helpful tip, choose fast-paced music as your body will automatically wish to "move with all the beat" without even considering it.
* Find a picture from the internet of the items you would want to appear to be and display it in the place it within an area you are going to see every morning (e.g about the mirror in your bathroom)...Believe it or not, as well as important. Do not skip this. This will help you keep your focus for the "prize" of having that slender body. I chose Mark Wahlberg (as part of his Calvin Klien ad) as a result of his cool physique, not his bad acting...
* Stretch!? Since you just awakened, your muscle mass need a fantastic stretch. Learn from my mistake for not stretching and instructed to take 4 days off as a result of pains during my legs and back. Don’t be a victim.
* And finally, use a burning desire to lose weight! Everyone has their reasons for losing weight. Either it is for your health, self-esteem or if you possess a favorite suit or dress that you simply always wanted to match. Start TODAY - your effort WILL PAY OFF.
So case a fraction of the I learned from not just my buddy, but in addition from that which was learned from "Combat The Fat". I must credit them both for losing 40lbs so far and looking toward reaching my goal of the total of 70 lbs. Other than the end to exercising each morning, this program had assisted with changing my "lifestyle" of the I eat, the amount I eat, the best way to exercise, what areas with the body which need work when. Dieting alone with my creation of your workout plan hasn't worked for me during the past, because the weight-loss only agreed to be temporary(I previously gained back of the items was lost) and in addition felt like I did not know very well what I was doing. Diet pills (I think I've tried all of them) never worked for me either. And finally, my last tip for you all is, have your cheat day(not days) you can eat whatever you want (including a Big Mac), but DO NOT OVER EAT. Changing your "lifestyle" to eat the correct foods also to incorporate daily exercises for your daily routine WILL lower your waistline.
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New Post has been published on http://websiteshop.network/episode-436-qa-with-robb-and-nicki-29/
Episode 436 – Q&A with Robb and Nicki #29
http://robbwolf.com/2019/07/19/episode-436-qa-with-robb-and-nicki-29/
We’re here with Episode 436, Q&A #29!
Submit your own questions for the podcast at: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/
If you want to see the video for this podcast, be sure to check out our YouTube channel.
Show Notes:
  1. Endurance Fueling For A Keto Athlete [2:00]
  Cassandra says:
Dear Robb + Nicki,
First off…thanks for the great job you two do in making complicated nutrition and fitness information easy to access and understand (even for uneducated gym rats like myself).  I’ve been listening to the podcast for years, reading the blog and the books (just got Wired to Eat) and I still find myself learning something new almost weekly.
Bottom line up front – how do you guys recommend tackling post-workout nutrition for endurance / high-intensity sports while on the keto train?
I’m 35, 5’8”, 155 lbs with a fairly muscular build.  I’ve been doing the Crossfit + weightlifting thing for 5-6 years now (4-6 times a week).  I’ve got 10 strict pull ups, a 250 lb 1 RM back squat, a 285 1RM DL and can hold an L-sit for a minute….so I think I’m pretty strong(?) – in some aspects anyway …  Strict bedtimes at 8:30 every night with 8 hours of sleep, no injuries, no severe reactions to any type of food (except tequila) – BUT I perform and look a lot better when I’m strict about paleo.  I’ve been eating that way and it has been keeping me fueled really well in the aforementioned training situations. 
Due to the nature of my job – active duty Marine, I am required to run a 5k every year for time…so I do incorporate running into my weekly routine – usually no more than 15-20 miles a week…long-ish runs mixed with hill sprints or pushing sleds so I don’t die of cardio boredom.
Within the past year – – due to losing a bet or being shamed into them (I can’t quite remember), I’ve also been running a few half marathons and one marathon.  I plan do to one more full later this year, the Rock n Roll in Las Vegas – mostly because its an excuse to travel to Vegas with some girlfriends of mine. The low-carb/paleo diet has been awesome for my health  on the weightlifting/crossfit/sprinting side of things… but I’m struggling with the endurace side of my fitness.
For my runs more than 90 minutes, I’ve been fueling with some organic stinger chewies/gels near the end of my run and then other, whole-food-type carbs at the end….bananas, berries, coconut water…sometimes gatorade, (an occasional beer :)), etc.  My recovery has been OK…not awesome though (and when I take out the mid-run or end carbs, my energy tanks and my joints hurt for days)….. it takes me about me 1-2 days to get through my soreness for half marathons and almost 5 days for a run more than 22 miles WITH the intra and post-carbs.
I’ve recently jumped on the keto train in January…did your masterclass, read Mark Sisson’s book, started listening to a lot of low-carb / keto based podcasts (Shawn Baker, Fat Burning Man, etc) and just started Wired to Eat.  I’ve been trying to do my own homework and listen to my body…so far this keto thing has been great! I’ve dropped about 10 lbs since the beginning of the year, have been sleeping a lot better and have seen gains in my strength.  But the race season starts up in May (the LV Marathon is in November but I have smaller races and training runs scheduled throughout the summer) and I want to be prepared. 
I *think* I’m generally fat-adapted…but I panic after 8 or 9 miles sometimes (the old advice of “carb loading” always creeps back in) and will suck down a terrible gel or gatorade because I’ve made the mistake of running these distances underfueled before and it was a painful, painful lesson.  I have heeded your electrolyte advice. I constantly track my sodium, magnesium and potassium levels and take the recommended supplements almost every day (normally on days with a taxing WOD or a workout lasting more than 90 mins). 
So what can I eat/drink to keep on the keto train that will help me recover and keep me going on some of these endurance events?  Nut butters? Whey protein and water? I want to be armed when I take on Vegas this year and not completely derail my eating habits. And I’d like to start experimenting with these foods now, while I still have time to adjust.
Sorry for writing the novel!  If I can find this info in a podcast or in one of the chapters of your books, please feel free to point me in that direction!  I appreciate any insight you guys have. Thanks in advance,
Cassandra
  2. Should I Add Fat To My Whey Protein Shake? [10:40]
Ben says:
Hi!
Love the podcast (I am one of the six listeners)! Here is my question:
I am wondering if the insulin-spike from a post-workout whey shake can stall my weight loss. Should I add fat like heavy cream or coconut milk to the shake to blunt the insulin response (if yes how much) or am I unable to burn that fat because of the spiked insulin storing it as body fat instead.
Thank you so much and best wishes from Munich, Germany
Ben
  3. Portal Circulation and Leaky Gut [14:36]
James says:
Hi Robb,
Thanks for your detailed answer to my question about sun exposure in Q&A #7. You provided a clear and concise answer which is hard to come by these days!
Following your book recommendations in Q&A #6 I hungrily delved into the Lecture notes on Human Metabolism (Thanks Nikki!) and within the first chapter encountered some information that gave me reason to pause.
The portal circulation, I’m certain that you can provide a more accurate and concise explanation of this system to your listeners than I can in this question, so I’ll leave that to you if that’s okay!
My question is: given that all blood (and therefore solutes) from the intestines are drained through the portal vein and through the liver – filtering out excess substrates and removing toxins such as ammonia from the blood before it enters ‘general circulation’, how can leaky gut have such a damaging effect on the body? It seems to me that the liver is a vital backstop in this process which is never mentioned when functional medicine practitioners talk about leaky gut – they give the impression that blood drains from the intestines straight into cardiovascular circulation and these fuel substrates are clanking around in our arteries causing inflammation which seems not to be the case!
Also how does this impact the gut hypothesis of heart disease (highly simplified here) where endotoxin is said to pass through the mucosal membrane into circulation, binding with LDL cholesterol, being attacked and immobilized by immune cells and ultimately ending up being sequestered into an arterial plaque because the immune system cannot destroy cholesterol or unbind the endotoxin from it.
Would the portal circulation not remove this endotoxin from the blood before it enters cardiovascular circulation and meets LDL particles? Is this disease process driven not only by a compromised intestinal lining but also by inefficient liver function?
Thank you for your time again guys, really appreciate your input
Kind Regards
James
  4. Do I Have To Sprout My Nuts & Seeds? [20:10]
Joseph says:
Is phytic acid harmful or of benefit?  Is it really necessary to jump thru the hoops of soaking & sprouting before consuming nuts & seeds?  thank you
  5. Caloric Estimate for Young Children? [25:10]
Rory says:
Is there an estimate for calories/pound when it comes to feeding my almost 3 year old (or any child for that matter, say 2-12? The teen years of course marking the onset of self-consciousness and peer pressure, thus thwarting any biological hard-wiring toward survival.)
Or is she still young enough to be biologically incapable of starving herself, at which point I should just trust that she has normally functioning satiety signals?
I ask specifically about my daughter because, as is par for the course in ‘Murica, she received antibiotics immediately after being born, so it’s not a stretch for me to imagine that she could have some kind of gut imbalance that could cause hormone dysregulation with her leptin/ghrelin.
    Where you can find us:
  Submit questions for the podcast: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/
  Transcript:
Download a copy of the transcript here (PDF)
Nicki: Don’t. Stop. Stop. We’re rolling.
Robb: We are rolling. What’s up wife?
Nicki: You know, just kind of riding the wave of chaos.
Robb: Indeed. Indeed. So, we’re in the throws of packing, getting ready to move.
Nicki: We had a nice visit from your friend, Steve yesterday.
Robb: Good friend of mine, Steve who… A 20 year military veteran flying a B1 Bomber and I got to hang out with him and we related many stories that we-
Nicki: I only met him once before, him and his wife once before, when Robb and I first met and let’s just say in the few hours that we spent together yesterday, I learned a lot about what you did as a teenager.
Robb: Yeah and most of it was probably incarceration worthy.
Nicki: There were lots of laughs.
Robb: We turned out okay.
Nicki: You guys survived.
Robb: Yep.
Nicki: Somehow.
Robb: Yep. We did. We did.
Nicki: What are you drinking?
Robb: I’m drinking a Salty Palmer, which is a black tea, Lipton ice tea specifically, with a-
Nicki: LMNT Citrus Salt.
Robb: … LMNT Citrus Salt in it and it’s pretty darn good.
Nicki: Really good. Okay.
Robb: Do you want to jump in on this thing?
Nicki: Sure. Let’s jump in. Our first question this week is from Cassandra and Cassandra wrote a very, very lengthy question and I’m just going to read-
Robb: Great detail, but it’s-
Nicki: Really wonderful detail, but I’m just going to read some sections of it. But the main gist of her question is, how do you recommend tackling post workout nutrition for endurance and high intensity sports while on keto? So let’s see here.
Nicki: Okay, so she says, “I think I’m generally fat adapted, but I panic after eight or nine miles sometimes because the old advice of carb bloating always creeps back in and I will suck down a terrible gel or Gatorade because I’ve made the mistake of running these distances under fuel before and it was a painful, painful lesson. I’ve heated your electrolyte advice and I constantly track my sodium, magnesium and potassium levels and take the recommended supplements almost every day. Normally on days with a taxing wad or a workout lasting more than 90 minutes. So what can I eat or drink to keep on the keto train that will help me recover and keep me going on some of these endurance events? Nut butters, whey protein and water. I want to be armed when I take on Vegas this year and not completely derail my eating habits and I’d like to start experimenting with these foods now while I still have time to adjust. Sorry for writing a novel.”
Nicki: So just to fill in some of the details, she has done several half marathons and a marathon and she’s wanting to do another full marathon later this year. The Rock and Roll in Las Vegas
Robb: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Mm-hmm (affirmative) and lots of great detail, so if you guys check out the show notes-
Nicki: We’ll post the full question, yeah.
Robb: … you can kind of dig into that stuff. So what one thing up front, I’m definitely not an endurance coach. We’ve dabbled in that area when we ran the gym, it wasn’t really my area of interests nor expertise. So I’m going to give some general guidelines, but I’m not an endurance coach. That said, one thing that I would recommend is following all the work from Zach Bitter. He has set multiple, I think national and world champion distances, 100 mile races, largely keto fueled, keto carnivore fueled. He drops in some carbs though. He has kind of a strategy around what he does with that. Part of what she related is she feels soreness and difficulty recovering after her hard sessions, in particular when she’s using carbs, interestingly.
Robb: This is one of the interesting things that folks that are in that keto, carnivore space seem to report they just seem to bounce back from workouts better. They don’t seem to get the delayed onset muscle soreness and all that stuff. It’s kind of funny, before we were recording this I was kind of noodling in the shower about how low carb in the context of a higher protein, like keto gain style, ketogenic diet or carnivore diet or even some of the old, original Loren Cordain protein recommendations. Even though it’s low carb technically, because you’re not eating carbohydrate as part of the diet, it’s not necessarily low glycogen.
Robb: The keto scene has gotten all freaked out about gluconeogenesis and being kicked out of ketosis, but this is all still super context driven stuff. For an individual that needs really, legit levels of ketones for say, like neurological condition or for cancer, co-treatment or something like that, then there’s a compelling reason to kind of limit protein.
Robb: But what’s interesting is that, and again I’m going to bounce around like there’s a zillion things I’m thinking about, but Charles Poliquin recommended for people who were not particularly carb sensitive, but doing high intensity training, a pretty high protein, low carb diet and then, supplemental glutamine post-workout because the glutamine was kind of a slow release way of topping off glycogen levels, both in the liver and the muscles. But that didn’t have some of the other side effects potentially of carbs and I know people are going to freak out. It’s like, “Oh, carbs aren’t the devil.” Yeah, they’re not, except when they are.
Robb: For some people like me, who still have some sort of GI problems or what have you, type one diabetics or people that are just tinkering with this stuff, there are other ways of getting reasonably good glycogen repletion, while also still staying in more of that kind of fat adapted world.
Robb: So one thing about this, we have to break this stuff into kind of training nutrition, event nutrition, post recovery nutrition. So during the event, this is definitely where she made the point that she needs to experiment with this stuff and see what’s what’s working. Again, I would kind of pun to what Zach Bitter does, as just kind of a beginning baseline.
Robb: I think that in general, if he’s doing something that’s more in that 100 mile pace, he stays pretty much fat and protein because he’s going to be going at such a gentle pace comparatively because he’s going to run for basically, like two days straight and so he just not going to get glycolytic. So, in that context then, there doesn’t necessarily need to be additional carbs or not much additional carbs to the degree that there might be a lot of elevation change or something like that. Therefore, going anaerobic, getting some glycolysis going on, then we might drop in some type of carb.
Robb: Again, you just have to play around with that stuff to see what sits well with gastric emptying and all that type of stuff. I feel like I’m just kind of bouncing around here, but it’s interesting. So, she also mentions that in the past, she was kind of worried at some point and this is where I think doing some training runs that are on the longer side and to establish like, how do you do? So she said that she panics after eight or nine miles sometimes. So there should probably be some like 12 or 15 mile runs consistently within the training block where you pressure test. It’s like, how do you feel at mile 10 through 15 with a particular type of training without necessarily doing a goo or something like that?
Robb: Even that said, there are a lot of people in the low carb space that, over the course of a day of activity like this, they may consume two or 300 grams of carbs on that day, which is still quite a bit less than what most other people are doing. But this is where there’s just a massive amount of individual variation. Again, I’m just not the most knowledgeable person on that side of things.
Robb: So, the takeaways, we don’t necessarily need to just cater towards ketosis. Don’t think about it being ketosis. Think about it being performance fueling. It may be on the lower carb side, it may be on the higher carb side. Even if it’s on the lower carb side, if our protein intake is higher, it doesn’t necessarily mean low glycogen for the body. So that can have all kinds of ramifications for recovery and nutrient intake.
Nicki: She definitely needs to make sure she’s not skimping on the protein.
Robb: Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. The one caveat with that and this is where it gets really detailed, in event training, you may be, particularly if water may be a little bit limited or what have you, higher protein intake requires more water to deal with the ammonia load that’s coming out of that. But you don’t necessarily want to go super low protein because you will burn through all your branched-chain amino acids and then, tryptophan levels raise. The person will be running along and they get sleepy and they’ll literally, fall asleep and it happens a lot on a bicycle, mid run or at a minimum you lose some of that kind of motivation because you’re getting sleepy.
Robb: So this is some of the stuff again, that folks just have to play with. Like what protein level keeps you mentally alert? Because you don’t have enough branched-chain amino acids in the mix. Some people use of branched-chain amino acids as part of their training mix and stuff like that. But this is again where, it’s just super outside of my-
Nicki: Wheelhouse.
Robb: … Yeah, my wheelhouse. But those are some kind of big, broad brush strokes to consider when you’re doing this stuff. Yeah. Yeah.
Nicki: Okay. Let’s see here. Next question is from Ben. Should I add fat to my whey protein shake? Ben says, “Hi, I love the podcast. I’m one of the six listeners. Here is my question. I’m wondering if the insulin spike from a post workout whey shake can stall my weight loss? Should I add fat, like heavy cream or coconut milk to the shake to blunt the insulin response? And if yes, how much or am I unable to burn that fat because of the spike insulin storing it as body fat instead? Thank you so much and best wishes from Munich, Germany.”
Robb: Man. So, whenever I see someone who’s… So clearly, I would read between the lines here, that the goal is fat loss, right? If you’re in a fat loss mode, you don’t need a shake. You just don’t. You need to chew food. Three meals a day, breakfast, lunch, dinner, possibly a snack. I rarely have a snack. I eat two, sometimes three meals a day. It just kind of depends, but you don’t need a snack and you really don’t need the shake as a baseline.
Robb: That’s not really answering the question, but we noticed this within our gym based practice and I kind of felt like… And I would have all kinds of people, like Spencer Nadolsky, who are like, “Oh, shakes aren’t the devil and everything.” But I just saw people spin out and they would go from eating pretty well and then, do liquid food. Then they were hungry and then, they would end up overeating pretty consistently.
Robb: Then I started hanging out with Tyler and Luis and really watched the way that they handled things within the keto gains group and man, they could’ve made a mint linking wagons with some protein company and recommending that. Just their ethics are so sound that, what they noticed was that people who are really legitimately struggling with weight loss don’t do well with liquid food, don’t do well with shakes. They need to eat unprocessed food for the most part.
Robb: So Ben, I would one… It kind of becomes a nonissue. If we get people eating whole and processed food, it’s not really going to be a problem. That said, in the context of eating beef or whey protein and the subsequent insulin response from that, it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, whether or not that’s going to influence fat loss overall. That’s still going to be driven by total caloric load, ultimately.
Robb: Some of the things mixed into that, if we get… Like in some people, and this is where some people will tolerate more or fewer carbs. If we get a disproportionate insulin response to carbohydrates and we get a low blood sugar environment, then people are going to tend to want to eat more food. We tend to not see this when the insulin response is from protein.
Robb: And this is another piece that’s kind of interesting when people talk about bodybuilding or recovery. Proteins do release insulin and so, you’re not necessarily always in a completely low insulin environment, even though you’re eating low carb. This gets born out, when you see the flip side of the crazy keto scene, where people are limiting protein intake because they’re freaked out about the insulin response to this whole thing.
Robb: So I know that’s kind of all over the place. But Ben, I would definitely ditch the shake and once you get to a level of leanness that is fantastic and you’re training like absolute crazy, such that three meals a day don’t work then…
Nicki: Then have the shake.
Robb: … dump a shake in. I wish that shakes did as well as real food but they just don’t. It’s another one of these things where we’ve really never recommended shakes. Here and there-
Nicki: Specific situations.
Robb: Yes. Specific situations. Yeah, so I think I beat that one to death.
Nicki: Okay. Let’s see. Our next question is from James on portal circulation and leaky gut. “Hi Robb. Thanks for your detailed answer to my question about sun exposure in QA number seven. Following your book recommendations in QA number six, I hungrily delved into the lecture notes on human metabolism. Thanks Nicki. And within the first chapter, I encountered some information that gave me reason to pause. The portal circulation, I’m certain that you can provide a more accurate and concise explanation of the system to your listeners than I can in this question, so I’ll leave that to you if that’s okay.
Nicki: My question is, given that all blood and therefore, solutes from the intestines are drained through the portal vein and through the liver, filtering out excess substrates and removing toxins, such as ammonia from the blood before it enters general circulation, how can leaky gut have such a damaging effect on the body? It seems to me that the liver is a vital backstop in this process, which was never mentioned, when functional medicine practitioners talk about leaky gut. They give the impression that blood drains from the intestines straight into the cardiovascular circulation and these fuel substrates are clinking around in our arteries causing inflammation, which seems not to be the case.
Nicki: Also, how does this impact the gut hypothesis of heart disease? Highly simplified here, where endotoxins is said to pass through the mucosal membrane into circulation, binding with LDL cholesterol, being attacked and immobilized by immune cells and ultimately, ending up being sequestered into an arterial plaque because the immune system cannot destroy cholesterol or unbind the endotoxin from it. With the portal circulation not removed, this endotoxin from the blood before it enters cardiovascular circulation and meets LDL particles. Is this disease process driven not only by a compromised intestinal lining but also by inefficient liver function? Thank you for your time. Really appreciate your input.”
Robb: That’s a great question and this is kind of, definitely before, oh, one question. This is kind of-
Nicki: Super advanced.
Robb: … Chris Masterjohn area. Usually, he’s the one that delves into stuff like this, but it’s a fantastic question. So for people that aren’t familiar with this, the portal circulation is the kind of circulatory loop that drains the gut and goes, as what James said, largely to liver and we do get it… This is where chylomicrons, the packages of lipids are unstitched and reshuffled and put into triglycerides and into lipoproteins. Proteins are kind of sorted and shuffle. Carbohydrates are stored at least, in part, in the liver. Then also throughout the rest of the body and that’s actually, a great example of this LPS story that James is alluding to.
Robb: What he’s asking here is a great question. In this leaky gut story, there’s this discussion around lipopolysaccharide, which is kind of the cellular identification matrix around bacteria and this stuff is incredibly inflammatory in all vertebrates. It sends the vertebrate immune system into kind of an overdrive response. But James, if we just subbed out LPS for carbohydrate, this pretty much answers the story.
Robb: So although dietary carbohydrate fills some, potentially all of the liver glycogen, there’s virtually always more that goes to the rest of the body. So although it removes some, it does not remove all. In the case of this LPS story in general, the liver should be effective. The liver in conjunction with the lipoproteins, the lipoproteins like LDL lipoproteins, LDL cholesterol, HDL cholesterol, these things bond to LPS and it tends to help in the detoxification of this substance. But if we have more LPS than what we’re really able to deal with-
Nicki: The liver handles some and the rest-
Robb: The liver handles some and then, we get the the spillover and that’s one piece of the story. Another piece of the story is that a lot of the lipid containing substances don’t go directly into the portal system. It goes into the lymphatic system and the lymphatic system then dumps in right around the aorta.
Robb: So it does make it into general circulation without going through the liver first. So that one year of medical school anatomy actually pays off every once in a while. So, this is a great question though. There are kind of two directions that the LPS story gets around the liver.
Robb: The first one is that there may just be more occurring than what the liver can reasonably detoxifying. Then the other part is the lipid constituents that end up in the lymphatic system, also end up dumped into general circulation, do ultimately make it into the liver, but that’s another spot where this stuff ends up.
Robb: Yeah, but a really good question. Lecture Notes on Human Metabolism is just an outstanding book. Really, really good. It was oriented for individuals heading towards medical school. So it was kind of, an end of their senior year. Like how to pull all the biochemistry, cellular biology, vertebrate physiology all together and make some sense of it. The MD-PhD who put that book together, he oriented a bunch of pharmaceuticals into it. He talked about statins, he talked about blood pressure mentally. It’s really an outstanding book, yeah.
Nicki: Okay. Let’s see. Our next question is on phytic acid from Joseph. “Is phytic acid harmful or of benefit? Is it really necessary to jump through the hoops of soaking and sprouting before consuming nuts and seeds?”
Robb: What do you think on this wife? What’s your gut sense?
Nicki: A lot of people do find benefit when they soak and sprout.
Robb: For sure and I would throw this under the, it depends category. So phytates and even… Gosh, there’s this stuff out of rice, I want to say. Ip-6, which is kind of one of these bonding chemicals, kind of a culation type chemicals. They can be beneficial in some circumstances and they can be a bastard in other circumstances. Georgia Ede who is a psychiatrist and really incredibly knowledgeable on this stuff, has some great studies where individuals would eat something like oysters, which are very high in zinc, and you would quantify the amount of zinc in the oysters. Then the person would consume it and they would actually do some plasma zinc analysis. So they can show, “Okay, the before oyster, plasma zinc was here and post-oyster plasma…” So it’s showing that you’re absorbing it or it’s magically appearing in your bloodstream, one or the other.
Robb: Then she showed eating the same oyster meal, but with either say, fruit or corn tortillas. The fruit does not have phytates in it. The corn tortillas have quite a lot and the corn tortillas, plus the zinc source, basically made the zinc absorption zero. I mean, it just gutted it.
Robb: So this is one of these things that’s really interesting and in looking at a lot of the Weston A. Price stuff, traditional cultures bent over backwards to soak and sprout and ferment and process grains, legumes and even dairy, for the most part. So, I think that there was some really good wisdom to all that. It kind of dovetails around on another piece around this kind of emerging story around the carnivore concept and whatnot and I could make a case that… How do I want to say this?
Robb: The amount of plant material that we eat is allowable only up to the point that it displaces animal products. At some point the overconsumption of plant material could potentially cause nutrient depletion. I know this is going to be a super controversial topic, but when you look at, let’s say just things like spinach, they may contain different nutrients that may be valuable and they may look like they’re in a large amount, particularly from a nutrient density standpoint, like a percentage of folate per calorie. But the thing is, the plant based materials are not that absorbable and oftentimes have constituents in them, like phytates that are antagonistic towards their absorption.
Robb: These things can also interfere with… They’re basically protease inhibitors, so they inhibit the ability to break down protein, both plant and animal protein. So again, how important is it? I think it boils down a little bit to individual situations. But I think to the degree that people can get away with not doing this, is reflective of all the other right stuff they’re doing. Also, I think that you’re just kind of beating your system a little bit. Like there’s some pressure testing that’s occurring there.
Robb: So, if you’re going to do bread, I would do something like Ezekiel bread that’s been soaked and sprouted and all that type of stuff. A lot of people are finding these ancient grains, like the Einhorn wheat and then soaking, sprouting, doing the sourdough mix that that helps to break down the gluten and all that stuff. Although there’s some great literature indicating that not a lot of celiacs still react to the Einhorn wheat, even after it’s gone through all of that stuff.
Robb: I’ll be completely honest, even though the Weston A. Price stuff is pretty cool, I think that this is still why a lot of people are pretty fucked up in that scene. Because they’re just logistically dogmatic about having these foods and they don’t realize that even some pastured dairy may be problematic for some people. Yeah. Yeah.
Robb: So, it’s super context driven, and this is again, where if somebody has general problems or they’re just wanting to ask a question, if they may be grain, dairy or legume reactive, pull them out for 30 days, reintroduce and see how you do. But I would say that to the degree, that you process these things with these traditional methods. It’s definitely going to improve the nutrient value of those foods and it’s going to decrease the likelihood of damaging the nutrient value of other foods.
Nicki: Okay. Let’s see. Our final question this week is from Rory. He wants to know about a caloric estimate for young children. Rory says, “Is there an estimate for calories per pound when it comes to feeding my almost three year old or any child for that matter, say from two to 12? The teen years of course, make marking the onset of self-consciousness and peer pressure, thus thwarting any biological hard-wiring towards survival or is she still young enough to be biologically incapable of starving herself? At which point, I should just trust that she has a normally functioning, satiety signals? I ask specifically, about my daughter because as is par for the course in America, she received antibiotics immediately after being born. So it’s not a stretch for me to imagine that she could have some kind of gut imbalance that could cause hormone dysregulation with her leptin and ghrelin.”
Robb: Good question, but my gut sense is, Rory’s probably being a little too worried about this. Also, I don’t know how early… How old did she say?
Nicki: Three.
Robb: She said she’s three.
Nicki: Almost three.
Robb: Okay. I mean, I know there are some benchmarks out there. I think it’s something like 16 or 18 calories per pound or maybe it’s 20 calories per pound. I forget off the top of my head, but it’s a lot of calories generally. But even if you know this, then it’s like you’re going to weigh and measure their food and then, you need to weigh and measure what they didn’t eat and you need to separate out the protein, carbs, fat.
Nicki: That’s a lot of work.
Robb: It’s a lot of fucking work. The risk-reward deal, I just don’t see. Yeah.
Nicki: I think you feed them and they eat until they’re-
Robb: Full.
Nicki: … full. Especially if you’re feeding him unprocessed, real foods, they’re not going to overeat.
Robb: Right and they will generally not under eat and also, kids tend to cycle.
Nicki: They do cycle, yeah.
Robb: Zoe and Sagan, it’s funny. We don’t have a pool, but our friend has a pool and we’ve been taking them swimming. On the days when they swim, they don’t really eat that much and you’re like, “Man, they should be really hungry.” But then I tell you what, the next day, they eat everything that’s not nailed down. They just don’t want to get out of the water. So they might have an Epic bar or something like that and just kind of a little snack here and there. But they’re so excited to swim that they won’t get out and they might do a half decent dinner. But then oftentimes, they are so smoked by the end of the day of swimming. I mean, like six hours of swimming. There in the sun and all the rest of that. They don’t even really eat that much. They’re almost passing out at the table.
Robb: But then, the next day they get up and they eat everything. Which I think is a really… that’s a great… In general, kids tend to do a really good job with that. I think that this is something that, over the course of time because of my kind of power lifting background, for ages, I just kind of over ate because I felt like I needed to eat more. I finally, at almost 50, have gotten to a spot where it’s like, if I just kind of sit on my duff all day, I don’t need that much food. Then on the day where I’m real active, I may lift weights and do two hours of Jujitsu, I eat a lot of food that day and then, maybe even the following day I’m like, “Man, I’m pretty hungry.” So I end up eating more.
Robb: If we’re not eating odd foods, I think that the appetite control mechanisms are very well in place and I wouldn’t worry about a round of antibiotics displacing that stuff. It’s a great question to ask, but I wouldn’t be overly concerned about that. Anything else as a mom to cap that off?
Nicki: I don’t think so. I think it is cyclic. I mean, I think that’s fairly normal, where one day they might eat a ton and the next day it tapers off a bit. She’s not going to starve herself.
Robb: Nope. Nope. The thing that we do, we kind of make it a speed bump method. We really kind of hold the kid’s feet to the fire. It’s like, you got eat your protein and then, if you want some more of this other stuff, then we kind of open it up and that works. That works fine.
Robb: We have noticed, even within the two kids, if Sagan in particular, who seems to kind of take after me a little bit more, at least in some ways, if she doesn’t get enough protein, that kid gets cranky, real cranky. It’s just like a switch just flips and then, she’ll eat and she’s good. I think she ends up potentially, getting a little bit of these kind of blood sugar changes, if she’s not getting enough protein. So, you’ll notice a little bit of variability on that.
Robb: Whereas, I think Zoe is a little bit more like you and just a little more even keel, with regards to… She’ll eat a lot of protein, but even if she doesn’t, it doesn’t seem to affect her quite the same way. But Sagan’s also going through growth spurt, so I don’t know how much of that’s going on.
Nicki: She’s sleeping like 15 hours at night.
Robb: Yeah. Yeah and she’s just been sprouting. So that’s a whole other crazy thing to this and it’s been funny all the way along. Now that the girls are basically seven and five, the changes aren’t quite as dramatic. Maybe up to about three years old, maybe four years old, it feels like every time you kind of get dialed in on one sequence, then they change and you’ve got to rejigger things. But they still change over time and for sure right now, Sagan is growing a lot, sleeping a lot and we noticed that if she doesn’t eat well, she will get some cranky McCrankerkins going on. Yeah.
Nicki: Yeah. I think that’s a wrap for this week.
Robb: Yep. Yep. Thank you guys for the awesome questions. Enjoyed doing this, as always. Most of my activity, at least for a while, is still over at Instagram @dasrobbwolf. This episode brought to you by…
Nicki: Drink LMNT, LMNT Recharge and hope you guys are all having a great and safe summer.
Robb: We’ll talk to you guys soon. Take care.
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adambstingus · 5 years
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People Share 35 Hilarious Habits Their Pets Have And They’re Too Good
We’ve seen dogs being weird and pets bringing home the weirdest of items, so it’s no surprise that our closest (usually) four-legged friends can be really, really bizarre. Some say that pets can be so close to their owners, that they eventually mimic some behavior and we know anything about humans, we know that our own species can have some pretty strange habits. That’s why it doesn’t surprise anyone that pets can be a little… “out there” with their actions. Well, as long as they’re not hurting anyone, we guess? People of Reddit decided to share some of the weirdest, yet harmless habits their pets have, and, let’s be honest, some are pretty darn weird. Scroll down to check them out and don’t forget to comment, as well as vote for your favorites. Oh, and if you have some weird stories of your own, share them with other pandas! (Facebook cover image: sipa)
#1
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#2
I am not allowed to get mad, If I yell, raise my voice, or even sound angry my cat pumpkin will get up from wherever she is and run over. She will then mew gently and grab at my arm with her paws while mewing. She pulls my hands to her head and rubs her head on me trying to get me to calm down. It works though so theres that.
#3
Growing up, we had a chocolate lab named Kody. Kody had a few oddities and idiosyncrasies about him. My parents are beer drinkers, and Kody would learn how to open each and every cooler we ever had so that he could eat all of the ice. That dog LOVED ice, he would eat it until he had what we called “brain freezers” or these mini little seizures (he was fine, but it was a weird habit). Another time, Kody was out pooping in the yard and we saw a bunch of cloth coming out of his butt. Turns out, it was an ace bandage that had to be surgically removed. Upon opening his stomach they found a silver dollar, a few bobby pins, the ace bandage and a billiards cue ball. Now, here’s the kicker- we didn’t own a pool table, and our closest neighbor was 5 miles away, who also did not own a pool table. We never did find out where he got that cue ball from. He lived to be 15 years old and passed away peacefully two years ago. Miss you, buddy.
#4
My dog has ‘takeaway’ every time she eats. She won’t stand at her bowl. She stuffs her mouth full of dry food and then sits near me wherever I am, spits out all her food and eats it one bit at a time. When she is finished it she repeats it all.
#5
My pet rat, Doctor, likes to poop when she is hanging from the bars of her cage and making eye contact with me or my fiancee.
She knows it makes us uncomfortable. She don’t care.
#6
My cat likes to shower with me. He will sit and drink the water as it runs until i use shower gel, then he will sit on the edge silently judging me for contaminating our lord water.
#7
I have a giant Maine-coon Siamese mix tomcat. His thing is to bring up laundry from the basement during the night. The weird thing is that he’s pretty good at taking clothes into the right rooms. I don’t know if he does it by smell or what – but it’s pretty normal for me to wake up to a pile of my socks, my daughters some of theirs, etc. He also chirps and meows the entire time he’s making his deliveries – which is pretty funny in and of itself.
#8
My dog can’t go anywhere without his toy. My girlfriend calls it his “girlfriend”. If we go outside he will bring the little stuffed animal with him and drop it somewhere. If we tell him to “go find your girlfriend” he will search frantically for it until it’s found.
#9
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#10
My boyfriends cat loves to snuggle up on people’s chests and then slooowly and veeery gently place her paw (with claws out and toes spread) and just .. place it on their mouth.
Does anyone know what the heck she’s trying to get out of this?
#11
My dog can sense when I’m about to fart and will stick his nose near my ass crack to smell it and then run away in disgust after. I have no idea why he continues to do it when it clearly annoys him
#12
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#13
My lardass cat has this weird cake infatuation. (Ha ha I know). Not to eat. She likes to lay on them. I can’t count how many cooling cakes I had to throw out because she decided to take a nap on them. I have to hide them somewhere to cool and frost. I also had to buy a solid cake saver because she would lay on my old one and crush the lid into the cake.
My favorite was when my son turned one, we had the unwrapped cake sitting on the counter waiting for cake time, and she tried to lay in it. When I came in to get it all the frosting is pulled off in the center and one pissed off frosting covered cat under my bed.
Yet she still does it.
#14
We have a Great Dane/greyhound mix named Keelah who, on occasion, absolutely must sniff my boyfriend’s belly button. I’ve never seen a dog get so derpy about it before. She’ll jump up and put her paws on his shoulder and stick her nose in his stomach until he gives in and pulls his shirt up so she can sniff. She’s really, really weird.
#15
Our cat pulls my dresser drawer open and sleeps in the socks after he arranges them into a cozy “cat bed” for himself.
#16
Our golden retriever has 3 comfort blankets that he folds and carries around with him.
#17
My SO’s dog, Lola, farts when we enter the car.
Everytime.
#18
My best friend’s kitten (to whom I am a kitten aunt by proxy) has a new habit of running down the stairs at top speed and launching himself onto the sofa.
She swears he’s either going to kill her with a heart attack or he’s going to f**king miss the sofa and go claws-first into her face, and she’s not sure which.
#19
My dog smiles whenever he wants something. He started showing his teeth when he got excited to see us after long periods of times (i.e. vacations) and we would say “What a pretty smile!” He made the connection to the word and now will do it on command and pretty much whenever he wants our food. Kind of like a “hey look I’m smiling, I’m pretty!” Some people probably think it’s bad that he does it because he’s technically showing his teeth, but you can tell it’s not aggressive or in a bad way. I think it’s hilarious.
#20
My cat loves to watch the toilet flush for some reason – he would even come running from other rooms in his house at the sound of a flush when he was younger. I guess it’s mostly harmless, but I have found toys in the toilet before the lid down rule was put in place (my assumption is so that he can watch them zoom around too).
#21
You know how cats, especially kittens will “nurse” on things? Like knead their paws and suck on something like a blanket?
Yeah, my 10 year old dog does that.
#22
My cat chews through bags to eat bread. Doesn’t matter the container or the type of bread. And because he drools he can dissolve any kind of paper bag in a minute. It’s bizarre but he was a stray so I figure he used to do that to survive.
#23
My cat licks walls. often for 10 minute intervals. i wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of his sandpaper tongue scritch-scratching at the wall.
#24
My cat used to sit on my couch, like a person would with her 2 back legs outstretched in front of her, and then proceed to bend down and suck on her own nipples while purring very loudly. It was weird.
#25
My parrot is obsessed with ears. He will happily spend 15-20 minutes delicately nibbling on the rim of my ear, carefully scraping his beak around the inside, and licking all over. Last time I saw my doctor for a physical and she got to the otoscope part of the exam, she exclaimed, “Wow, your ears are remarkably clean!” Gee, I wonder why…
#26
My chihuahua sneaks to her water dish. We have no idea why. She does this almost every day at varied times. If her water is dirty or if the dish is empty she will keep sneaking until the situation is fixed.
#27
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#28
We don’t have pets in the main country the Netherlands where we reside but we got a ton of them in my fathers country Russia. We own a big piece of ground and a forest, with 23 white Russian wolves and 3 Caucasian owcharkas. The wolves have some weird habits and one of them is that they greet each other and their pups by friendly biting them in their neck, it still that scares the shit out of guests and relatives that we usually have over.
#29
After I take a shower, my collie mix insists on rolling in my towels.
When I have the towel on my head and I’m laying down.. He tries to roll in it.
If I’m sitting with the towel on my head, he tries to roll in it.
Then when I inevitability throw them on the floor he has a field day.
#30
My cat would be happy with his eyes closed purring and layed down my side and then suddenly look in the direction of the corner of the room with his eyes completely open. When I look there’s nothing there. It’s scary
#31
My German shepherd is a hoarder. He has a hiding spot behind a chair and underneath a table, and he’s been building a stash that we have to go in every week or so and clean out. Usually it’s just wrappers and random s**t he “sneaks” out of our trash cans. This last weeks clean out consisted of 3 of my oven mitts and a pudding cup. He doesn’t chew on anything, he just likes to have stuff.
#32
She stares at me while I sleep. From 3″ away. When I open my eyes all I see are these huge solid black eyes in a weirdly diagonal white face.
I wake up convinced that I have been abducted by aliens.
#33
One of our cats will climb up onto the back of our couch while we’re watching a movie or something and loudly clean his butthole.
#34
My dog does this little boner dance whenever he has a boner. He slides across the floor and humps the air rapidly until his doggy-boner goes down.
#35
My cat swats/punches his water dish a few times before drinking it. It splashes everywhere. No clue why.
Just thought of something else! He is long haired floofy cat (peach/blondie), and we have a fuzzy blanket similarly coloured. My cat often licks it to clean it, mistaking it for himself.
My cat talks to herself if she thinks no one is around. I’ll come home or go to a side of the house that I haven’t been in all day and hear her meowing and chirping and howling. Once she realizes I’m there, she’ll stop. I’ve been able to sneak up on her a couple of times and it’s pretty bizarre to watch. She’ll just be walking around the room making sounds. She doesn’t do it that often. I wish I could catch it on video
#37
Step 1: Drop the tennis ball into my hand so I can throw it across the room for him to fetch
Step 2: Retrieve the tennis ball and start gnawing on it with his head halfway under the couch
Step 3: Drop the ball and have it roll to an unreachable distance under the couch
Step 4: Stare at me and moan loudly until I am convinced to walk over to the couch the ball is under and lay on the floor, struggling to reach far enough. Eventually I just lift the couch so he can get far enough underneath it to grab the ball back
Repeat incessantly
#38
My cat “nurses” on a blanket we have. But only if the blanket is on me. It’s like the little f**ker actually thinks I am his mother. He’s strange. He also likes to play fetch and attack people who come over to visit. Weirdo.
#39
My cat will sit in the bathtub for hours and meow at passersby to turn the water on for him. Then when someone finally gives in, he will splash around for about a minute and then go drag his big wet furry feet over someone/my pillow.
Every morning he will excitedly hang over the edge of the bathtub, waiting for me to turn on the shower. Once I do, it takes him about two seconds to realise what’s going on, and then he panics and scrambles as fast as he can out of the tub.
Weirdo.
#40
My cat nurses on his own tail. He will creepily come up and lay really close to you, curl in a ball, and start sucking away at the end of his tail. Sometimes he’ll even look you in the eye while he does it.
I know it’s a comfort thing to him, I found him alone when he was just a baby, but it’s a pretty weird thing to do.
#41
My cat Miles will run to the other side of the house and meow to his brother Murphy. You can tell it’s a “Hey!! Come check this out!” and he’ll keep doing it until Murphy finally gets up and goes to look. Sometimes though, Murphy says eff that and stays where he is, leaving Miles to meow at nothing for like an hour. Finally he’ll show up and look at Murphy like, “Didn’t you hear me!!?” No but we did!
#42
My male cat likes to stand in the corner, face the wall, and sing the song of his people. My female kitten likes to meow at me and then hide when I walk over to pet her. She’s a jerk.
#43
My friend has a really bizarre cat, she loves to be spanked. She will lie down with her butt in the air for people to pat her right above the tail. The harder the better.
She also loves to be spun around on an office chair, she jumps up on the back of it and holds on with her claws to be spun around. Spinning + smacking her butt every time she passes = kitty bliss.
My rat loved snot and would grab all my used tissues to lick inside them.
#44
My pit asks for permission every night before getting in bed with us. We have never told him to stay off of furniture, but he always asks. He does that weird howl/growl/bark thing that “talking” dogs do.
#45
My cat, O’Malley, will always smell a new person’s shoes when I bring people over. When he is finished, he looks over at me and makes a stupid face.
#46
Not sure if this counts but my snake falls off of everything. Put him around your neck he falls off. He falls while trying to climb up or down my chair, desk, and always plops off my bed if I am not watching him. He will even get excited smelling something so he will point his head straight up and extend his body up until he falls backwards belly up. Will also do this while swallowing his food.
#47
One of my three cats is a monster. He is kinda fat but stocky/muscular too. He is 6 and weighs about 20 pounds.
Anyways, he will lick plastic bags. We are always afraid he will suffocate himself because he will stick his head down inside the bag and lick for as long as we’ll let him.
He also steals paper clips. My mom was working on her doctorate and she had mountains of papers and a lot of paperclips on them. The crazy cat would dig through all of the papers and pull off the paper clips with his teeth. And he hid them all under the rug that was under the couch so we couldn’t see them.
And he plays very rough. We found out the hard way that he enjoys being spanked. We caught him fighting another cat and gave him a tap on the behind to get him to stop, and he fell on the floor and started purring. And when I scratch his chin, he isn’t happy until I scratch as hard as I physically can, to the point where I think I’m gonna dig up all of his fur.
#48
She won’t eat unless both my husband and I are seated in the family room watching TV. It’s pretty inconvenient on busy days.
#49
My dog (a husky) will make a gap in his food with his snout, then will yowl at the nearest human like he’s hungry and there’s no food in the bowl, until you pick his bowl up, shake the gap out and put it back down again. He will eat it then!
#50
My cat licks people…all the time and all over. It’s odd when you wake up in the middle of the night being licked and realize it’s not the dog doing it.
#51
My Australian Shepherd likes to sneeze in the clean laundry as it comes out of the dryer. It has turned into a two person job to get laundry done without dog sneezes on it. One to distract the dog and the other to hustle the laundry into the basket and to safety.
#52
Anytime we Hoover a carpet my Jack Russell has to ‘swim’ all over it, because God forbid it not have his fur on it
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Also, he regularly sneakily drinks our cups of tea.
#53
My male dog licks my female dogs cooch after she pees, then his lips and jaw quiver as he drools. Freakin weirdo.
#54
My cat is afraid of the dishwasher, I guess. Not the sound of the dishwasher running, the sound of me taking s**t out of it and putting it away. He is mostly silent, maybe a welcome meep when I get home. But the dishwasher…man. Mayhem. It’s been seven years and he still freaks the f**k out every single time.
#55
My English bulldog Shelby will sit with her back to me and try and look at me upside down by leaning back until she falls down. She does the same thing in the car. I thought it might be vertigo but she just really seems to enjoy it.
#56
When I’m away from my husky for more than about eight hours she will likely howl at me and make a big deal, like she’s cussing me out.
#57
Run run run, locks up front legs slide slide slide, roll roll roll. How does she not break her neck?
#58
My pancho gets super worked up and then immediately thinks he needs to drink water. This usually results in him coughing up any water he just drank and freaking out about coughing.
My sisters mastiff likes to sit down next to your leg and lean on your leg and stare at you but he’s so heavy he often pushes people over with his lean.
#59
One of my cats likes to get in the lower branches of bushes (and the Christmas tree, as it turns out) and just chill. Just sit there in the branches, eight inches off the ground.
#60
My cat likes hair ties. He swallowed one once and he proceeded to prance around the living room with the rubber piece hanging out of his asshole. I now have to hide them all so I’m not paying for surgery on his dumb ass.
My dogs also go around licking each other’s assholes and the cats assholes. They also won’t sleep unless they are buried under a blanket.
My female cat rubs her head on EVERYTHING and has a weird fascination with doing this on shoes.
#61
My cat Wookie has an intense love of the bathroom. He will lay on the edge of the bathtub while I take a bath, will sit on the bathmat and watch us shower, and loves the toilet. He loves to watch it flush, likes to watch my husband pee (has gotten pee on his head from trying to watch from the wrong angle) and likes to try to pull toilet paper up out of the toilet while it is flushing, which is pretty gross. Weird cat.
#62
Not mine but my SO’s dog, Bacon… Cannot poop unless he is backed up against something.
When we first started dating I used to get to his apartment before he got off work so I would take the dog for a walk. Like any male Bacon must pee on everything to ensure its his. Which meant sometimes I didn’t realize that he wasn’t sniffing the same place to pee but to find the prefect article in which to place his butt against and would tug him along and ruin the whole process… Which meant about five minutes of the behavior or him deciding to hold it.
#63
My dog likes to eat beaded jewelry. I shouldn’t say eat, he sucks on it until it comes apart, and then he abandons it and acts innocent.
#64
My dog take his blankey or his bed and will suck on it with his eyes closed. We assume he thinks he’s nursing. He also occasionally humps his bed before sucking on it. Harmless but weird as s**t.
#65
My GF’s cat poops in the litterbox, then immediately tries to cover it by making digging motions on the floor/wall next to the litterbox. Never inside. Not sure if dumb or just a c**t.
#66
My Doberman likes to climb up in bed with my SO and I, and just stare at us while standing over one of us.
#67
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#68
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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/people-share-35-hilarious-habits-their-pets-have-and-theyre-too-good/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/183958094802
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