#because what if I Actually™ don't somehow

[silasbug]

fondly thinking about my best friend.

no idea how she's managed to stick it out with me this far but i'm amazed that after over 6 years she still has enough patience to tolerate me.

when i don't feel like i'm good enough, she reminds me of who i am. when i make mistakes, she doesn't treat me any different. when i'm highly dysphoric, she just /gets/ it and shows me unrelenting support and encouragement. she's my #1 hypeman, and i am hers.

there isn't another person in the world that's been able to make me feel even.. remotely okay in my own skin, about how i look and how a body feels (i would also say about who i am, but i'd be lying).

i realize that i've always had a bit of body dysmorphia and generally don't enjoy looking at my own face because it's.. very uncanny to me. i don't have a proper sense of style. but she always just?? has something nice to say and she does it so genuinely that you can actually believe that she means what she says. because she's the same.

i'll go out looking like a 12 year old boy and she's just. fucking. there for it. she'll cheer for it. do it with me. and then we'll walk around the block looking like two lil' dudebros together because we own the same clothes. and fucking hell.

this girl is too good to me. i absolutely don't deserve her.

sometimes it's hard to believe that someone like her exists.

and that i get to be witness to it.

there's caveats, of course. we talk so rarely (we go weeks without), the interests we share are few and far between and there's.. so many things i could never tell her because i will never get over that fear of losing her.

there is no right moment and there isn't a time and those are things i neither need nor want her to know, because it would change the way she sees me.

and i guess that seems callous and detached and dishonest.

but we are there when it matters. i am there when she needs me and i will always pick up her pieces.

i want her to have a good thing. she sees me as a good thing.

so i'll let her have me this way.

#the one person i've not yet managed to hurt and i don't think i ever fucking will #i'd throw myself off a damn cliff first #this girl just saw me one day when i showed up to school. decided i /seemed/ too cool for school and adopted me over the summer. #like what. how. i am THE lamest guy™ AND SHE somehow STILL thinks i'm cool what a nerd UGH #it's just sad that we're at the point where we have little to tell each other because our lives are so different & we live far apart #at least we can take naps with each other and just chill out when we meet. we can just.. be in the moment together and enjoy it. #and that is still. everything. #also like. i generally don't take selfies but i did a few days ago because i thought i looked kinda cool and i told her about it and #she really wanted to see & she is the only person i'd ever send selfies to and she just... #'bug those last three could work as a hot fuckboy tinder profile' LOL bless her that's the funniest shit i've ever heard #IDK IT'S that thing where you love and care so much for someone that they become infiniely more attractive than they are at first glance? #but she's the only person that i'd ever actually be able to believe. because she is so fucking genuine. #i'll also never get over the fact that she is the smartest and most studious person i know but listens to the most anti social german rap #like LMAO okay girl! you go! i hate it but i love you #it's just a funny contrast that she listens to the filthiest shit imaginable hahaha #personal

[musical-chick-13]

This transitory scene needs to be here, but my GOD, I don't want to fucking write it.

#THIS is somehow giving me more trouble than like. LITERALLY anything else. #I don't even know why. it's not something I would consider objectively difficult to write? ugh. #I guess the good news is that the chapter I was worried about (you know. the one where things gets deranged.) will actually probably #seem comparatively simple compared to this goddamn chapter LMAO #(at least. I hope so. I don't know what I'm going to do if I get stuck on a chapter for two-plus months again.) #this thing is very close to my heart because I love examining these characters but also MY GOD I cannot wait for it to be done #c2g #The Fic That's A Lot #I think. Idk. this chapter is really heavy on the 'character study' part which is my favorite kind of writing to do #but the drawback to something being my favorite is that I care about it A LOT. and when I care about something a lot I'm constantly #fighting the Disorder™ trying to tell me 'do this compulsive behavior to make sure Everything Is Perfect' which helps. absolutely #no one least of all me. #ANYWAY. I did get some stuff done yesterday and my sleep schedule is...kind of fucked up lol. so we'll try to do a little bit now

[markscherz]

Is frogs were wizards, what kind of magic would they have?

Look, I think the Basic™ answer is that frogs belong to the Transmutation school of magic because, hello, metamorphosis, but galaxy brain herpetologists know that more than a quarter of all frog species don't have tadpoles.

Toxicologists could tell you of the venomous species that can deliver a real Shocking Grasp that leaves you with Burning Hands—mainstays of Evocation magic.

Ecologists will tell you frogs are pivotal mesopredators and those with tadpoles occupy two trophic niches over their lifespans—classic Abjuration magic.

Some field biologists will tell you how hard it is to find some frogs, even when they are calling from immediately in front of you—archetypal Illusion shit.

Other field biologists might tell you that sometimes frogs start calling a few minutes before the rain actually comes. Obvious hallmark of Divination school.

Conservation biologists will tell you that some species that were declared Extinct or likely Extinct have been rediscovered recently, so I suspect at least some are from the Necromancy school

Behavioural ecologists might tell you that some frogs have familiar pet tarantulas (Big Spider want you to think it's the tarantulas keeping the frogs as pets, but don't be taken in by their biased lies). You want to tell me that they're not Conjuration wizards?

But Frog Fans (Frans) will tell you they belong to the Enchantment school, because hearteyesmotherfucker.gif. I mean, they somehow got you following me, right?

#magic #animals #biology #D&D #frogs #Frans #tasticwolf #answers by Mark #schools of magic #5e #dungeons and dragons

[dduane]

An anonymized non-anon query

(A note: my ask box isn’t open to anons at the moment, because I started getting inappropriate messages that I didn’t care to see. Maybe I'll eventually go anon-open again. But the present situation isn’t going to stop me from answering asks where the person’s uneasy about having their username revealed. Like this one:)

[text:

Can't go on anon so this is a little mortifying to be Seen™ but;

Do you have any words for fandom girls who are no longer in their 20s and starting to construct people in their heads who shame them for "still being into this stuff"?]

First thing; funny how it's always fandom girls who come up against this, isn't it? If it was some 90-year-old fandom boy in question who'd been painting his face red and white and following Manchester United since he was nine, no one would turn a hair. In fact, everybody in that cohort of interest would be praising him for his commitment and loyalty. It's almost as if some people have bought into the idea that the rules are different for girls somehow! Something to do with the idea that where girls belong is home making everybody a sandwich. I wonder where that might have come from...

Anyway. What you're describing here is something a lot of us have run into: the pressure to (allow me briefly to stand the well-known trope on its head) Be Like All The Other Girls... and to be prepared (and indeed resigned) for that inevitably to happen IRL. This stuff starts sneaking into your head in a very innocuous way: by disguising itself as "being prepared" for what you're afraid might happen. And it's very hard to avoid having that concern slowly but surely turn into a dread of what's going to happen. (For there's a horrible seductiveness about self-fullfilling prophecy... even if you know you've built it yourself. Part of your mind, that frightened advanced-fight-or-flight part that's always trying to keep you safe by predicting all the possible futures, starts feeling satisfied with itself when it finally has the evidence to say, "Well, at least we were prepared for that!")

So it's best to be proactive about managing this, I think, before things start to get bothersome. Develop a quick switchblade-style defense that you can pull out of your brain's back pocket at short notice. And then, when you're used to using it on those rogue ideations, disarm the sneaky "attacker" more thoroughly by taking it apart, gradually, at the more straightforwardly analytical end.

Let's start with the switchblade: a good-old fashioned mantra. How about this:

"Nobody gets to gatekeep my joy."

This can be used as a silent affirmation any time you feel the need. Any time you start feeling that pressure—that annoying whisper from the conjectural voices in your head that want you to think about how maybe you are too old for this kind of thing—pull out the mantra and shiv them in the gut with it, three times. (Threes are always good for this. Think how many spells have to be done, or names spoken, in threes. The rhythm's an archetype all its own.)

What you'll notice, with repetition of this intervention over time, is that the incidence of this kind of thinking gradually gets rarer and rarer. It might take a while to go away completely... but you'll know what to do if it rears its head again.

But also: this response can when necessary be repeated right out loud in front of whatever sorry piece of breathing meat has the unutterable bald-faced gall to actually try to gatekeep you to your (digital or otherwise) face. Pull it out, set your features in an expression of amused calm (because what you do to your face makes differences in your brain), and hit 'em with it. And if they continue to try to argue the point with you, you get to just keep repeating your base-state mantra until they give up and go away.*

...Now, since good mantras normally run deeper than the mere words, it makes sense to inquire into an underlying issue:

Why do people do this to other people? (And I don't mean this as a rhetorical question with optional eyeroll: I mean it as a possible diagnostic.) There has to be a reason people pull this shit... as mandated by the favorite (different) mantra of psychiatric professionals everywhere: "All behavior is motivated."

One aspect of this to consider: the "you're too old to be into this stuff" response is usually a learned behavior. People for whom the perception of "insufficient" age or maturity is an issue have routinely picked it up from others. There are a number of reasons why they parrot it... the likeliest being that simply want to be seen saying the thing that lots of other people they know also say; so that by so doing, they can be seen as Smart. (This is of course just another a manifestation of our old generally-maladaptive friend, the so-called herd instinct.) And nine-tenths of those other people, I can guarantee you, got it in turn from others still. "They're too old for this" is rarely going to be a spontaneous insight. (Except when used pertinent to certain contact sports, and some types of opera.)

Yet why does the trope perpetuate itself so enthusiastically?

Leaving aside personal living-arrangement issues in individual cases, I think it's because in some people, underneath the expressed trope, there's a genuine fear... an insidious variation of the well-known impostor syndrome. And it's this:

They're afraid that whatever it is they've got at the moment, it's may well be the wrong kind of "this stuff"... not a real joy. (Some people will take this to mean, "The kind of stuff, or joy, other people will approve of." Cf. the "seeming Smart" thing.) And, as they get older, they may be becoming afraid they may never have it.

Now, people naturally try to protect themselves from experiencing their own fears whenever possible. This one's no different. So one way such folks find to distract themselves from the fear of having no joy is to devalue such joy in others. That way, whatever they see themselves as having their noses spitefully "rubbed in" can be perceived as no longer a real threat to them. They can start seeing it as a bad joy, a weak or silly or stupid joy. And (in this case specifically) an immature joy.

(With this in mind, the passage in which C.S. Lewis deals with this toxic fetishization of "maturity" is worth quoting in full, since we so frequently see only the last couple/few lines:)

“Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”

...And you hear there the voice of a man who'd dealt with a whole lot of critics in his time on this subject—some of them quite famous and elevated types, trying to discredit him for what we'd now think of as "clicks"—and had routinely made them ever so sorry they'd engaged. Also, Lewis was an enthusiastic reader of "the pulps" until his dying day, and you should have seen some of his responses to those who tried to tell him that "at his age, he should be over that science fiction stuff by now." I'd have to go digging for the cites, but... hooboy.

Anyway, and as a closer:

You're not required to—at someone else's mere behest—even think about changing your way of thinking and living in the (probably hopeless) hopes of pleasing or placating other people you've never met. And most specifically:

You are in no wise required by the Universe to curtail your personal experience of joy in order to try to make scared and small-souled people more comfortable.Your soul gets to be its own size, and have its own joy... in its very own shape, volume, and richness.

So if anyone pulls the "You're too old for [x]" crap on you, I encourage you to just let that attitude sail on by you and fuck straight out into the Oort Cloud and beyond. Let passing alien spacecraft on their way in-system gaze at it in wonder and say, "Wow, look at that go! Didn't think they had warp drive here yet."

...Anyway: let me know how you get on.

HTH!

*This is a basic assertiveness-training technique that I feel is much undervalued in daily usage. Every time someone comes up with a new reason you should stop doing what they don't like, and expects you to respond to that... what makes them think you're required to come up with a new and different reason not to? Who made that concept up? And why waste useful originality on someone arguing with you in the kind of bad faith that refuses to accept your answers? Just keep repeating yourself with the main reason until they give up (probably in great exasperation: too bad...) and bugger off elsewhere. :) ...But see the useful 1970s work When I Say No, I Feel Guilty for effective DIY approaches to this problem.

#advice #the retired psych nurse is IN -- 5¢ #or indeed #€0.03

[garzasheart]

general valeria garza headcanons

summary: just valeria being her silly self + some relationship headcanons

author notes: nothing to say, i just love this woman

━ valeria is definitely the type to watch telenovelas and pick sides when characters have conflict

━ walks around the house in a wife beater and boxers

━ always needs the air conditioner on and gets all bitchy if it isn't freezing cold

━ somehow wins every argument she starts even if she is in the wrong

━ unless it's an argument with you than she will let you win

━ listens to 90's spanish music and maybe even some 2000's american rap & rnb

━ if your first language is english than she will ask you what the lyrics mean in the american songs

━ loves tupac just because he can get real violent

━ says the most unhinged shit at random moments because in her mind it's normal. "amor, should we be buried together when we die?"

━ a total cat mom. on her list of people she will kill for is you and y'all cats

━ if you have her meet your mom, she becomes a total mommy's girl (because she misses her own mother) and always be like "how was my mom?" whenever you go to visit your mom alone

━ always has a grumpy lil frown on her face, but smiles when she sees you

━ if you introduce her to games her favorite is mortal kombat because it's violent & she always wins against you

━ chronic eye roller™

━ low-key sassy and doesn't give no fucks

━ super sarcastic especially when annoyed

━ figured out she was lesbian in her early twenties and was like "oh, that figures"

━ HATES bugs. will act like she's all tough if others are around and a bug is nearby, but by herself she moves as far away as possible

━ can actually cook pretty well

━ loves spicy food AND sugary food. she's just versatile like that

━ probably got addicted to coffee once when she was younger, but broke that addiction once she hit her 30th birthday because she refuse to let a little drink control her mood

━ has trust issues, attachment issues, abandonment issues, and commitment issues

━ a stomach sleeper 100%

━ doesn't care for holidays, but will go all out if you like them

━ a lil menace who sometimes acts like a bad ass little kid

━ "gimme a kiss" whenever you ask her to do anything

━ gets annoyed when you don't reply to her text messages right away. you take an hour to reply? alright see you tomorrow girlie because that's when she's going to text back

━ p e t t y

━ a little toxic but it's fine because she loves hard

━ once she found out how to do 0.5 photos just know that's how all the photos she takes of you are taken now

━ laughs loud asf when people fall. might even point too

━ loves freezepops in the summer and winter, no difference to her

━ loves to play fight and wrestle

━ if you two get a dog, she will always rile it up and than complain about it

━ dances a little when she's tipsy

#valeria garza x reader #valeria garza #cod x reader

[szollibisz]

The thing I absolutely love about curtwen is that. Curt is a bitch, right? Like yeah, he can be sweet, and he's not as morally bankrupt as Owen, but he's just a dick. He's inconsiderate, irresponsible and clearly, growing up gay and having to be a big confident macho guy™ all the time did nothing good for him.

With how he treats those around him, he absolutely seems like a guy who pushes people away whenever he feels like the relationship is slipping even just a little bit. HE wants to be one who ruins the relationship, and gives that final push, just so he doesn't have to face that fact that people can leave you just because they don't like being around you anymore, found someone else, or just need to take a step away. He doesn't want to admit, that maybe he needs to change and better himself. He wants to give people an actual big reason to leave him, so he's less hurt by it, and it works really well. And then he meets Owen.

Not only is Owen a bitch too, but also obsessed with Curt. He wouldn't leave him no matter what he does (until....) And Curt won't leave Owen, because he finally found someone who understands all aspects of his life, and he feels like he needs Owen or else. I think they both realize this pretty early on in the relationship and it has absolutely horrible consequences for both of them. They will treat each other horribly, knowing it won't have any lasting consequences on their relationship. They will argue and scream that they never want to see each other again, but go back to normal a month later.

In their worst moments they exploit this weird obsessive-codependent thing they have, and in their best moments they call it love (somewhere deep down it is)

I think when Owen starts to realize Curt isn't obsessed with him, like he previously thought, part of him starts resenting Curt for it. Curt knows this, but by now he knows he can't and doesn't want to push Owen away. They just sweep it under the rug, like everything else. They facilitate each others' bad habits, because if they talked about them the relationship would fall apart. Owen doesn't mention Curt's alcoholism, Curt doesn't mention Owen's cruelty. And when they do, they quickly realize it won't get them anywhere.

Something something about how Curt and maybe even Owen could have some sort of healthy relationship with someone else, be that friendship, romance or something else, but at the same time, at this point in their lives this was somehow the best option for both of them. Crazy. Doomed by the narrative to divorce always and forever

#what if owen wanted something more than for the two of them to always be miserable #but curt never wanted to stop spying #relationship problems city baybee #spies are forever #tin can bros #saf #owen carvour #agent curt mega #tcb #szol's spy rambles #curtwen

[invinciblerodent]

About the altered animations in Astarion's first romance scene

I already knew that there's something of a precedent for large updates to change camera angles and facial animations around a little bit, so, on a lark, I loaded in my save from before the first romance scene in my current, Astarionmance playthrough, just to see and compare it to my recorded version, see if there's been any changes since then.

Well... honestly? My feeling is that the two scenes are pretty much only roughly comparable to each other at this point. Like not to be dramatic, but it's kind of almost a case study in how much body language can alter the perception and interpretation of the same dialogue.

In the version of this that I got originally in my game (on october 21st so in patch 3, through high approval, quite a bit before the party), the short conversation before leaving the main campsite has him wearing sort of a... heavy, darkly suggestive, almost predatory expression. He looks, overall, very serious: head pitched strategically forward so he's both leaning towards- and looking at the PC through his lashes (maybe crowding them a little bit, stepping into their space), his eyes are more narrow and provocative, and he's not wearing even a hint of a smile. I think it makes it very clear what the intent here is: to present Desire™, and show a façade that suggests his impending performance of the "ooh, the sexy vampire is now going to steal you away to have his wicked way with you" fantasy.

Comparing this to the latest version (as of the 4th of december, so shortly after patch 5, which from the patch notes I'm guessing is likely what brought these alterations on), it's... very strangely different.

I had not altered my settings, or the shots in any way (beyond cropping and resizing), the lighting just... seems to have been brightened. But, the most obvious change is that his entire body language is sort of... tipped more back and away from the PC now. His brows and eyes are a lot softer and more open, rounded, more like they appear later on in the confession scene, and he's smiling this.... kind of cordial, unsettlingly friendly smile, that seems (at least in retrospect) very obviously fake and plastered on. I think he's selling the illusion of the rakish debaucher, the dashing scoundrel about to rock your world, a lot less convincingly this time around.

Even though the voicelines have not been altered in a way I can detect, his face is saying something completely different, and it recontextualizes a lot of things for me.

[Also in addition, him breaking character momentarily ("I do mean sex, to be clear") now does also lose a bit of its humor for me. Just because this new way, there isn't as large a gap between the capital letter Performance, and the little side note he gives himself in the middle of it. Now it's somehow... less theatrical overall, and so the aside is less like he knows he sounds unnatural and his real self is peeking out from behind the lines, and veers a twinge more towards "in case you're dense and didn't actually notice that I'm seducing you, I'll dumb it down for you".]

Even as he's waiting for the response in that silly "ta-dah!" pose, his face is very different: instead of that sort of blank, "haughtily and hauntingly sexy", determined kind of look, he's now gazing at the PC with what (in motion at least) looks to me like it's kinda... going rapidly back and forth between almost a pained/unsure look, and... a thinly veiled disgust, maybe?

Like, that's... that's straight-up a grimace, man, I don't want anyone I'm considering sleeping with to be looking at me like that.

Within the scene itself that follows, the animation appears unchanged (or at least not changed significantly enough for me to notice without playing them literally side by side), but the following conversation in the morning is... also a bit odd, and has been edited heavily?

In my original recording, he seems to be making sure to look at the PC more, though only over his shoulder, and his features are harder, more severe again, as it is in line with the conversation before. The whole little exchange, before the arcana check and before it'd segue into talking about Cazador more directily, ends on a bit of an eyeroll and a hidden smile that can be construed as conspiratory, or just a bit sly and self-satisfied.

This kinda straddles the line between "hehe, you're caught in my web now" and "hehe, I'm SO good at sex"- the former being closer to what he's likely thinking, and the latter being one of the more obvious ways the PC can interpret that look. A+ on that, no notes.

But now, (first of all the lighting is overall much less warm, the whole scene looks cool and less afterglow-y) he doesn't really turn to face the PC, not even over his shoulder. This keeps his expressions concealed from them, but open to the player, which is an interesting choice, and his expressions are, again, a lot more in line with those from later scenes, when the relationship is well underway: it's less openly performative, and more just a... a sad, unguarded, almost forlorn, private look. My guy looks like he is speedrunning through all his emotions over the span of like 10 seconds here-

-and lands notably on this kind of unsettling shot, of this expression that's, while somewhat similar to the old one for the line "I didn't want to go too far" (that the PC can halfway see), is both more exaggerated, and kept entirely to himself:

I for one find this one a little.... creepy and cartoonish, tbh???? Which, I guess while it's in line with the whole "I'm such an evil mastermind, they've fallen right into my honeypot" way of thinking he is supposed to have in this precise moment, it, uh.

Listen, it just conjures in my mind a violently clear image of Robbie Rotten from Lazytown. Because it's just such an "I'm clearly being a villainous villain with a nefarious scheme and agendas aplenty" expression, he's all but twirling his mustache, and the fact that it's turned right to the player's face rather than being only hinted at for both person and character, makes it look... pretty heavy-handed. Which I guess is more indicative of this man having a charisma score of a whopping 10, but it takes away from the subtlety of the entire exchange, and kind of creates a rift between what the player, and what the PC can know/suspect.

Overall, these new animations look... very different, bit more like they're trying to drive the point all the way home? Now there seems to be a big neon sign that says "HE IS NOT DOING THIS FOR PLEASURE" over his head, rather than letting your figure things out for yourself later on.

Needless to say, I.... personally prefer the old version of this scene over this new one, lol.

(...... One final, mildly notable change I noticed is that they seem to have taken out the little moan they had my character make as he bit into her neck? In my old recording, there was a tiny, barely audible little "a-aah!", and that's just.... not there now. I'm not sure what that's about, if it's a bug or a feature, and I don't know if they had it for other player voices or not, but prior to now, they did go pretty hard into how getting bitten is, to many, quite pleasurable, so downplaying that now comes off as a tiny bit odd to me.)

(I do like how her tits look less squashed though. They perked my girl's girls up a little bit, which is kinda nice lol.)

Editing to say this: it seems like these animations are the same as the goblin party ones, only... in the daylight? Which, it could be a bug of some sorts. I reloaded it once and it was the same once more, but... it could be that my save is kinda weird there for some reason. Idk. Turning reblogs off because it could just be a bug.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 meta #bg3 animation #astarion romance #bg3 patch 5 #uh what else #i can't think of anything else #i'll add more tags if i think of any #squirrel plays bg3

[m3talmunson]

Any reasonable person would think, with the sheer length of Eddie's hair, that he would have the slightest idea of how to care for it.

If you thought that, you'd be wrong. He was flying by the seat of his pants, with a bonus of simple luck. It was astonishing that his hair didn't get matted throughout day to day life, let alone the end of the world.

Yes, Eddie obviously went to a hospital after it all. Nobody could have survived that level substantial of injuries without it. But no matter the NDA's, or the "freedom from prosecution," as Dr. Owens puts it, it didn't come with a clean-wiped slate in the public eye.

So Eddie chose to lay low. He got the treatments that were deemed necessary by the doctors, and then he got the hell out of there.

At least, from all of this, Eddie learned only to run when he needed to.

Part of him was scared he and Wayne wouldn't be able to swing the bill. That part of him was satiated when Owens's team swung the bill and replaced the... mangled Munson trailer. These government reparations didn't anywhere near touch the damage that was done, but Wayne and Eddie would take what they could get. Like they always had. Of course, the universe saw fit that Eddie take a little more.

Eddie was told -putting it politely- to stay the fuck out of that trailer park. Just because his name was cleared legally doesn't mean he should be anywhere he would normally go about his business. Not for the next couple weeks, at least.

And Steve Harrington, ever so giving, offered up his home as sanctuary.

And of course, Eddie was immediately trying to find a way out of it. When that didn't work, he started asking how soon he needed to leave. He didn't want to feel like a burden, especially not to Steve.

"Stay as long as you need, Eds. Forever, for a little while, on and off, literally anything as long as I don't have to carry you out of hell again. That's the one condition."

Sure, living with Steve had it's perks. He had some semblance of privacy, walls with ANY soundproofing, and company. What more could a boy ask for, you would think.

Not living down the hall from his crush while looking like a walking nightmare, Eddie thought, was a perfectly reasonable thing to ask for. He did not get that.

Despite living in the same house as him, he avoided Steve like the plague. Steve had made it clear his 'what's mine is yours' attitude was open to Eddie, but Eddie preferred his room. His boxes from the old trailer were there, his guitar, his sanity (or what remains). The moment he limped his way out of that door, he was in the realm of Steve. And he did not feel up to the task of being presentable in front of his literal crush.

Still, Steve came into his room every so often. Eddie went to the hospital, but he wasn't magically better. Steve changed his bandages, helped him when he needed it, brought him homemade soup? Because, somehow, Eddie is in an alternate dimension where Steve Harrington is making him his grandma's chicken noodle soup recipe for him. And it is PHENOMENAL.

Eddie could have never expected any of the past month's events. He was still grappling with the fact that life would just... return to normal somehow after the end of the world.

He had enough on his plate. However, the universe thought fit to throw some more on.

During one of his Steve-check-ups™, Steve just absentmindedly mentioned something Eddie was dreading.

"How have you been dealing with all that hair? I mean it's been in a new bun every day this week but you can barely lift your arms?"

"Well, actually Steve," Eddie started, "I haven't. This is the same bun you put in on Wednesday." He tilted his head down, he didn't really want to look Steve in the eye when he said that.

"Well shit Eddie, what can I do to help?"

And wasn't it oh so nice when Steve looked up at him with those big eyes, knocking on the door of his soul. How could Eddie turn his gaze from that?

"What can be done? I can't wash it until these fuckers-" He pointed at the sides of his abdomen, to the bandages that Steve had just finished replacing, "have healed enough for me to lift my arms, which should be almost any time now. Then, we can take these bandages off, I can get out of your hair, and I can clean my own."

It was pretty obvious that neither of the men liked that agreement, but Eddie saw it as the only option. Wait a week, lift his arms, get the hell out of dodge. Easy enough.

"I could wash your hair. You know I know how to." Steve replied, a genuine offer, not a throwaway or handout that was just a kind gesture.

"No, Stevie, you don't need to worry about m-"

"Checkmate, I already do. You lock yourself in here except for food, I don't even feel like you're enjoying yourself! What's the point in breaking out of hell, fighting tooth and nail, just to sit in your room? C'mon Eddie, let me do one thing to make your life easier." Steve was interrogating him, but for his own good? And only two weeks ago he thought Steve was just some highschool douche that he just had a little crush on once upon a long time ago. Here he is, caring for him like they've known eachother for years.

"You do enough for me." Eddie hid the blush building on his face by looking to the ground across from Steve. Steve just moved his head there.

"I want to do more. I'm offering to do more."

"You're not going to let me say no, are you?"

"It's your hair, your body! But no, not really."

"Let's go," Eddie said, swinging his legs carefully over the edge of his bed.

And that's how Eddie ended up in a T-shirt and boxers, head laying back in the kitchen sink. He hadn't really gotten to the standing-for-long-periods-of-time point of recovery, so Steve pulled up a stool and a towel for Eddie's shoulders, and got ready to work above his head.

"I'll tell you when to put your head back, don't want to freeze you with the water."

Steve turned the faucet to the hottest setting, then throttled back a little. He carefully took Eddie's hair out and brushed through the ends. It had been in a bun for ages, so at least it didn't get knotted.

"I don't really know much about how curly hair works, but-"

"Oh me either," Eddie interrupted. "Barely even knew I had it. Don't worry about me big boy, no special treatment needed."

"Oh you're getting special treatment, whether you like it or not," Steve said. "Tilt your head back."

And so Eddie did. And he would be flat out lying if he said that he didn't love how gentle Steve's hands felt running across his scalp. He would be lying if he said he didn't like being pampered, just a little. He would be a liar if he told you that this wasn't somehow sensual, or that he wished it had more meaning.

Something about the way Steve was massaging his scalp made him think there could be.

"I'm gonna block your forehead from the water, just warning you." Steve used a cup to get the water to the base of Eddie's scalp, he was thorough with the details and everything.

It made Eddie feel loved. That's new.

Eddie nearly blacked out until it was done. He just soaked it all in, feeling cared for. He had felt cared for before, but never loved, not by someone who wasn't obligated to.

"Why do you do all of this for me?" Eddie truly wanted to know.

"Why shouldn't I?" He replied, as if it was nothing.

"Nobody does." Eddie wanted to say more, but now wasn't the time to throw a pity party and cry in front of Steve Harrington.

"All the more reason to."

"Harrington," Eddie tried to sit up as he talked, "you don't-"

Steve pushed him back down by the chest, conditioner and water soaking into his shirt.

"Don't strain yourself, seriously. Let me rinse this out, then you're free to go back to whatever you were doing." He left one hand on Eddie's chest, not keeping him down, but just resting there. Like he forgot about it, but it felt intentional.

Eddie dragged his hand up to Steve's on his chest.

"Thank you. Really," was all he could muster up without those tears rushing back.

"Of course, Eddie. Wouldn't rather be anywhere else." He continued to work around the ends of Eddie's hair, slowly turning the water off and doing some final slow scrunching motions with the towel not around Eddie's shoulders. "You're all done. Let me help you up."

Taking Eddie's hand in one of his and lifting from Eddie's back, he got Eddie sitting up right. The hand on his back let go, but not the hand in Eddie's.

"Well? Anything you usually do that I can help with?" Steve asked.

"You've done enough," Steve got ready to cut him off, but Eddie beat him to the punch, "I can't do any more without bending over, which is off the table. Seriously, Stevie, you've done more than enough. You've been insane amounts giving and patient with me. You've given me enough."

"I wish I could give more."

"I know."

"I could give more." Steve offered, ready to give all he had in the world.

"Steve," Eddie said, some type of begging look in his eyes, "I don't want to read too much into this but you've offered me more than I could reasonably take. You've given me sanctuary, food, care, what more is there?"

"Love."

Steve laid it all out on the table. All he had left to give was hope that Eddie would take it.

"Can I kiss you?" Eddie asked.

"Please."

And when Eddie took it, it was magical. Just for a moment, all the pain, and bad memories, and nightmares, they just stopped. Suddenly, for a second of time, their was no ring of pain around Steve's neck, no searing, or scorching, or stabbing in Eddie's sides.

Maybe Eddie won't live in Steve's house forever, but he might live in this moment forever.

~~~~~

Thank you to @warlordess for giving the prompt in the comments of my last post! SO sorry it took so unbelievably long, but my show finally closed! Everyone, feel free to leave any prompts in my asks from now on! All of my previous posts as well as this one will be on AO3 soon, then I'm going to make a pinned post with my account! Thank you all so much for the patience you graced me with, hopefully it won't happen again!

#steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #steve stranger things #eddie stranger things #steddie blurb #steddie drabble #steddie fanfic #steddie ficlet #stranger things #st4 spoilers #st4 fanfic

[grimalkinmessor]

I love the Light Grows Up In Wammy's House premises but I also think I love it in a very different way than most people do

Like I don't see it as a Childhood Friends/Rivals™ trope for Lawlight, I very much see it as Light growing up being told that there's someone better than him, someone he must not only surpass, but become—and I think he does the opposite of what BB does. He starts to hate L not because of anything L actually did (because they wouldn't have met) but because everyone keeps implying that L is better than him when Light KNOWS that he's the superior one. Beyond finds out that L is addicted to sweets and immediately changes his diet to include cakes and candies, while Light immediately wipes everything sweet from his mental list of desired foods.

He is perfectly polite, he's the baby of the group, and he can do no wrong in every other aspect of life except for the fact that he vehemently doesn't want to take L's place no matter how hard they push him. He wants to become his own sort of detective on his own merit, and he'll be damned if he has to use L's name while he does it. If he solves any cases it's anonymously, under a pseudonym.

And if he ever meets L, they won't be friends. But that vaguely disconcerting teen/man that sometimes sits in the corners of rooms and talks to no one is very interested in what Light has to say, no matter what it is, and seems to both enjoy it when Light talks shit about L and yet is still somehow annoyed by it. They get into heated arguments and he'll steal Light's things and pull his hair and mess up his clothes no matter how many times the caretakers chastise him for it (though even that happens surprisingly rarely). Light would stop talking to him entirely if he wasn't his only hope of getting out of Wammy's little genius factory both physically and mentally intact.

Light makes plans to run away and runs them by the broody teenager he's tolerated, who helps him pick out any holes in his plans, but somehow the staff always seem to catch Light before he can escape. It happens so often that Light even begins to think that someone's snitching on him, but he's only ever told one other person, and he wouldn't care enough to stop Light from leaving....

Would he?

Or, alternatively, Light never meets that stranger in the corner. Instead, Watari happily sternly informs him that L has personally selected Light to help him on cases. Isn't that great? Isn't it an honor? A and B are practically roiling with jealousy, Light should be grateful.

But Light is not grateful. He takes the news with a big ole fake smile, and silently plots L's mysterious disappearance before he's even come face to face with the man. He wants to make it on his own, he doesn't want to be reliant on L's name and Wammy's money and generosity forever, and he loathes the fact that he's been metaphorically chained to L's title in all the ways he didn't want to be.

A tiny Light, accompanying a teenage L places and becoming his face (both because L is petty and because he thinks its funny when police are introduced to a little kid as their Consulting Detective) around the world, all while they throw vicious barbs back and forth and spend quiet Christmases together and throw each other under the bus for fuckups and try foreign cuisines together and struggle to keep (L)/gain (Light) the power and ground they both don't even actually want.

L gives Light all the cases he doesn't want, like he's doing him a favor, and Light regularly calls A and B to smack talk L behind his back and turn the rest of his successors against him.

I can even imagine some amalgamation of both of these scenarios happening, or even eight more vaguely like them in the vein of L and Light being both completely antagonistic towards each other while also simultaneously growing so codependent that they can't stand not knowing what the other one is doing at any point in the day and also get absurdly jealous whenever anyone else even speaks to them.

Or EVEN a scenario where L doesn't pay attention to Light at all until he's grown and out in the world on his own. Light makes a quick name for himself, decidedly divorced from Wammy's influence, and eventually meets L on accident through a case L is working on, wherein L becomes intrigued with him and looks into his history only to find that he's a Wammy kid and L goes "Oh. You're one of mine."

To which Light takes decidedly poorly given that the claim both riles and razes Things™ in him because growing up with the vaguest desires to be like the man in front of you even though you loathe him and those desires were quickly squashed and never thought of willingly or voiced aloud leaves behind both the intense need to alienate yourself from said man entirely and to get close enough to become better than him for all to see and witness—only for Light to find that he can't alienate himself completely from L anymore because L decidedly won't let him and he can never quite seem to surpass him either because L is constantly nipping at his heels, echoing his thoughts with brilliant deductions of his own, and it turns out that trying to intellectually sprint past someone who only starts running when YOU do and has a distinct headstart is harder than it looks.

#long post #death note au #death note #lawlight #yagami light #l lawliet #i legit cannot picture them purely fluffy im sorry it goes against everything in me to right them and pure and loving partners #theyre awful and theyre perfect for each other #wammys house #beyond birthday #alter #a #a fucking...SEETHES when she finds out that L picked the only one of them who didn't actually want to succeed gim #b is more cynical so he's less surprised but he joins in on a's hate in solidarity #on the inside though he thinks its fucking hilarious #grim rants

[gojos-thot-patrol]

Oh my god it's that time again people, I apologize but I'm here with more milk for your thoughts™. Been thinking about Gojo, Toji and Sukuna with a secretly filthy s/o. Lol imagine how they'd react if they had a seemingly wholesome s/o and they find out they're actually just a dirty little perv /lh. Pov: Gojo finds your male overstim artwork commissions. - Gojo's Milker

You hear the people rejoice in the background as our lovely Milk Man comes with new thoughts to share!

Immmmm gonna put my thotty thots under a cut cause OH BOY.

Sukuna would be over the MOON. It would scratch his corruption kink so perfectly. He'd whisper the filthiest shit in your ear as he fucks you while you work on your commissions, pounding into your ass while promising you that when he's done with you, you're going to be more fucked out than the character your drawing. Panting and breathless, yet still somehow managing to ask for more even as your brain gets liquefied with pleasure. You wouldn't walk right for weeks.

Now, Gojo on the other hand. Gojo likes to think he's a dom, but he's really fucking not. He'd see your commissions and almost immediately he'd be hot and bothered. "Wait, you draw stuff like this?! Are you into this?" His mind is completely blown as he finds out that his soft sweet partner is actually a fucking freak. This is a slippery slope to him being tied up on your shared bed, his blindfold being used against him as he whines pathetically under you. bucking his weeping angry cock into your touch, because despite the fact that he's so overwhelmed that extra stimulation is damn near painful you still haven't let him cum yet and he wants it so fucking bad.

"Don't be so eager Doll," You purr to him, and he straight up whines when you remove your hand, "We got all night, what's your rush?"

FUCK I just wanna put him in his place.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x reader #gojo x reader #satoru gojo #dom!reader x sub!gojo #sub gojo #gender neutral reader #milky thoughts™️ #🌌🥛🌌 #thots on patrol

[sussusamogus47]

I just wanted to call to attention the board games in the final puzzle room, bc I haven't really seen anyone talk about them all that much.

I genuinely can't tell if they were all deliberately chosen for what they are, or if instead it was a case of what the set designers (of Genloss, not Showfall) could get their hands on, but the relative obscurity/odd choice of games makes me think that for the most part it was deliberate.

Lemme explain, starting with the most interesting one first.

Game One: My 2 Homes

This game is most notable because it's the one boardgame that Ranboo actually calls out by name, and one of two (if i remember right) that they ever interact with. What's clever though is how it could easily be written off -- Jerma asks the three of them for examples of things in the room, and he provides one. End of story right?

But consider first that the mind control over them has been getting stronger and stronger, and the past few rooms we've been seeing them become more NPC-like, interacting with things less and less, taking less of an interest in other things.

What makes it more interesting in my opinion though, is the fact that the game is meant to help children "communicate and process their feelings about divorce".

What does this mean though?

Well, looking at the verb definitions of divorce, there's two ways it can be taken:

You could make an argument for the first definition, sure. But just look at that second definition. Separate or dissociate something from something else. Aka Ranboo and reality.

Suddenly Ranboo's calling out of the game looks more like a call for help. To use the game for its intended purpose and say "I'm still here, please help me. I don't want this to continue."

I could be stretching here. But the subtly of it is really good, and imo wouldn't be out of place.

Game Two: Maul of America

The pun in this one is actually what made me notice the oddity of some of the choices of these board games. For those who mightn't know, the Mall of America is one of the largest malls in the United States.

The premise of this game is simple: You're in a mall during the zombie apocalypse, and have to fight your way out. One player controls all of the zombies, and each other player controls themselves, obviously.

The parallels here alone are honestly astounding lol

But wait, there's more!! Upon rewatching this entire section, I believe this is the only other board game that Ranboo ever interacts with. Even more interestingly, I believe this might be the only game in the room that has its pieces outside of the box and partially set up.

For reference:

Here's an image of the board + some of the pieces, courtesy of boardgamegeek.com

And here's the closest, best shot I could get of the board:

Notice the standing pieces, the flipped over ones, and their positions relative to one another. Red is flipped, blue and orange are standing up. One zombie is standing, the rest are flipped. Blue is by red, and orange is by a zombie.

Now I'm sure you know, but for Dramatic Effect ™ I'd like to point out the primary colours of each person's outfit in this room:

Red

Blue

Orange

So then, Ranboo, Sneeg, and Austin are obviously intended to be the players here, with either Showfall (or the founder) controlling the zombies. Sneeg's blue token is likely closer to Ran's red one to indicate that they know each other, which supports some of the other theories around that.

But then why's Ranboo's token flipped? And what's with the zombie?

Well this is where we pull into Speculation Station, because I'm honestly not too sure. I'd like to say that the flipped token indicates Ranboo's mind controlled state, but then why isn't Sneeg's flipped too? After all, we all saw him get forcefully controlled by the Showfall Crew. My only other guess is that it hints at the ending, where somehow Austin and Sneeg survive and escape Showfall where Ranboo doesn't, but I feel like that's shaky at best so idrk.

Similar problems occur with the zombie, too. You could say it's Ranboo being mind controlled by the zombie player, but then Sneeg should have one too if that's the case. It can't really be Jerma bc he's well, dead by this point. It could maybe be the camera operator? But we also see the rats behind the curtain so wouldn't they have one too?

I really don't know honestly. But I've been going on about this one for a while lol so I should probably move on.

Game Three: Anti-Monopoly

This one is basically what it says on the tin: Anti-Monopoly, or a trust busting game where players have to go around dismantling large corporations. Depending on the size of the company, (oligopoly, trust, or monopoly) you need one to three tokens respectively to take them down.

I'd imagine that Showfall is a pretty large corporation, so my guess is that the symbolism here is meant to be Hetch's (or even Ranboo's) intention to dismantle the company. If the former, it could maybe mean that Hetch isn't here to actually help Ranboo, but is instead using him for in order to dismantle Showfall, which would be a twist for sure.

Game Four: Twister Moves

This seems like a version of Twister with maybe a musical chair-esque aspect to it. Someone plays as the DJ and plays music, and calls out moves to the other players.

If I had to guess, this is meant to symbolize Showfall's control over people, and how they tell them what to do.

Miscellaneous Games

These ones I don't really have much (or anything) for, honestly. I'm mostly putting them here in case anyone has any ideas, or in case they're somehow relevant.

I also have to stop adding images unfortunately bc I've hit the app's limit :(

Battleground: Crossbows and Catapults

Interestingly enough I had this as a kid lol. Used to play with just the lil plastic castles and guys a lot, not really playing the game. Anyway, the premise is you use the rubber-band powered disc launchers on top of the castles to knock down the other team's guys. Apparently hitting their flag gets you bonus lives or something, so maybe that's relevant?

Star Wars 100 Piece Puzzle (1996)

I.. actually really doubt this one's relevant. It seems a bit too mainstream for it to be, and it's also a puzzle. The date could maybe be relevant? Piece count? Or somehow the characters on it (Luke, Leia, Vader) are, but I just can't think of anything that'd work here, so my best guess is it's a red herring.

Classico (??)

I literally couldn't find anything on this one that matched the box, so I'm at a total loss.

Closing Remarks

Well, I hope that was all comprehendable :D I spent the past two hours or so putting it all together, and honestly in the process of doing so found wayy more to it than I initially thought.

And with that, I bid you adieu!

#genloss #generation loss #genloss spoilers #genloss theory #gl!ranboo #gl!austin #gl!sneegsnag #generation loss theory

[margarethx]

I feel like the most typical interpretation of the "Sam found Bucky before Civil War" trope is that the rest of the team either didn't know about it at all or they were fine with it when they found out. Like... Steve is never truly mad that they were hiding this from him. Natasha either doesn't care or she already figured it out somehow. Other Avengers don't care.

But you know what would be fun to explore instead?

The Consequences™

What if someone realized that Sam has been seeing Bucky for months and withhold this information from everyone and they were actually angry about it. I can imagine a couple of darker scenarios here.

No one tells Sam that his secret has been discovered and they use him a tool to get to Bucky. And since Bucky has no idea that it's a trap prepared by Steve and Natasha, he feels betrayed by Sam, who had no idea he's basically a walking lure.

Everyone assumes that Sam's the victim and Bucky (still brainwashed) manipulated him to change sides. Steve makes the hard decision to terminate the Winter Soldier to protect his new friend.

Sam straight up gets arrested for treason. Or at least is kept in captivity by the Avengers, because they don't trust him anymore. Bucky has no idea why he suddenly stopped showing up and has to risk everything to find out what happened.

Steve gets so offended and hurt by Sam's betrayal that he removes him from the team. He's technically free, but he knows that everyone watches his every move, so he cannot safely contact Bucky and let him know they've been discovered.

Someone walks in on Sam and Bucky meeting in secret, but they misinterpret the situation and before anyone has time to explain the fight starts. One of them gets hurt in the chaos, so Steve and Natasha have to deal with guilt after making that mistake.

Feel free to add more.

I just like the idea of Sam and Bucky knowing that if someone discovers their relationship the consequences won't be just "well, Steve'll be sad for a week". If he's actually mad or if Natasha forces them out of hiding, the stakes are much higher. (And I don't mean "mad" as in "kinda jealous of a friend talking to someone else". I mean "mad" as in "furious".)

Or the idea of them being naive and thinking everything will play out in their favour, but they learn the hard way that it's not the case.

#sam wilson #bucky barnes #steve rogers #sambucky #winterfalcon #sam x bucky #onlysambucky #captain america #the falcon #winter soldier #mcu #marvel #i spent over a minute trying to figure out #how to spell the word betrayal properly... #it's embarrassing ;-; #next time i'll just type ''zdrada'' and force all of you to figure out what i meant

[atalienart]

People are scary stupid. (I'm gonna mention SA so don't read if it might upset you. It's about stories and stuff.)

So I browse insta, like one does and I get adds for books. I check Polish authors and sometimes they are on wattpad. Many of those writers have their wattpad stories published traditionally, mainly romances and erotica. I'm a curious cat, I want to see what kind of stories are published. It's mostly mafia romances and millionaire/girl stories. I find these stories extremely repetitive and boring, they also have characters that I very much don't enjoy but whatever. I read a few chapters of a story by such a wattpad author who has some of their other stuff already published. And wow. You know, I don't care what people write about, if I can't stomach it I just won't read it, that's fine. But wtf is wrong with a person who clearly writes rape and then in the comments (responding to someone saying "hey, you described rape") says that they don't see it as rape, didn't write the scene as rape, that it's a matter of how you look at it, that it's "dubious" because the character eventually "likes it" (literally the character is running away from the "love interest", is begging him to stop, pushes him away, but she's held down and then well... she just gives up because he's stronger; afterwards she's crying; she doesn't even like him, he just practically bought her). And the author tries to convince everyone readers will like the guy eventually because he will change and he has a tragic backstory™ (the girl left him or something -_-). Btw, it wasn't the first time he forced himself on a girl, oh no, he just now feels bad because this new girl is somehow ⋆｡°✩speshul⋆｡°✩. Idk what sits in those people's brains. It's like saying, no no, she didn't kill the guy, she just shot him and he tripped and fell of the window. She's heard him screaming all the way down, he'd been alive until the pavement hit him, therefore she's not a killer. This is absolutely ridiculous. And I know dark romances, the guy love interest is usually the most deranged, disgusting, evil macho man to exist. He uses and abuses the girl in every possible way. And some people enjoy reading those things I guess. But saying that what you wrote is not what you wrote because you enjoy it is just wrong. Or if your intention, as a writer, was something else, think if you actually managed to get your idea across. Sometimes what you try to communicate doesn't read like that (I know, I've been there) and you need to change things. But if you really think your character isn't a rapist because he's handsome and broken™, and the girl love interest will eventually fall for him, then yikes. Hope no one hurt you irl and that you don't hurt anyone either with this way of thinking.

Sorry, I just had to rant.

[drunkenskunk]

Welcome to another Drunk Skunk™ rant!

It is entirely possible that you have noticed: I love Warhammer 40k. At the same time, I hate Warhammer 40k... okay, hate is probably the wrong word, but let me explain.

40k is one of my favorite sci-fi settings because it is, hilariously, one of the few that actually manages to get the scale of Outer Space right. Most sci-fi writers have no sense of scale, but 40k is somehow able to convey the unimaginable, incomprehensible, terrifying vastness of Outer Space correctly.

Granted, I think it does this entirely on accident, because everything in 40k is exaggerated beyond the point of absurdity. The scale of everything is massive, every number has several zeros tacked onto the end of it, travelling anywhere takes months, years, even decades, and... that's just how Outer Space is. You can't exaggerate on what is already functionally infinite.

As a result, 40k as a setting has an enormous amount of potential. No matter how much we see of the Warhammer galaxy, we will only ever see a bare fraction of it, and there is always going to be more - and stranger - stuff hidden in pockets of the galaxy that has slipped entirely beneath notice for decades, if not centuries. Or even millennia!

But here's the problem I have. All of this potential? It is almost always completely wasted by Games Workshop. Nearly every single time, GW ignores the massive amount of potential in the setting they created, in order to focus on boring shit that nobody cares about like even more fucking space marines. It's infuriating.

As far as I'm concerned, there is no better example of this in the entire setting... than the Tau Empire.

The Tau annoy me, but not for the reasons you think.

The most common complaint I see leveled against the Tau is that they are the "good" guys, and that they don't fit into the Grim Darkness of the Grim Dark far future of Grim Dark. This is untrue. Moreover: it was never true. Even when they were introduced in 2001 with their first codex during 3rd edition, they were not good guys.

I've always held the suspicion that people saw things like their catchphrase "The Greater Good" and they read things like "the Tau are not overtly hostile," and took all of that entirely at face value, because a sizeable chunk of this fucking fandom has no media literacy skills.

It still amazes me that Warhammer 40k - a game physically incapable of subtlety - has fans that miss the blatantly obvious.

Before I get to my main point, let's clear the air on something right now: the Tau are bad guys, just like all the other factions in 40k.

If you were to place the Tau in any other science fiction setting, they would be a terrifyingly evil authoritarian space hegemony, with a firmly held belief of "Manifest Destiny" and constantly expanding the borders of their imperial holdings through the use of dirty tricks, illegitimate treaties, and good old fashioned military adventurism spurred on by their vast military industrial complex.

Yes, the Tau typically engage in diplomacy first, but that's usually only to establish a casus belli to claim the moral high ground in a conflict because the Tau are obsessed with appearances and love to play the Long Game. Yes, the average standard of living in Tau space is higher than the Imperium, but that's not a high bar. The Tau have a rigidly enforced caste system, and you can imagine how they deal with their "client races" who might disagree with that and even other Tau who refuse to fall in line.

Or have we all forgotten about Commander Farsight?

... I feel like I may have gotten a bit off track.

Okay, so: the simple reason the Tau annoy me is because there was a whole lot of potential there, and all of it has been completely wasted because Games Workshop doesn't seem to understand what made them interesting in the first place.

See, when the Tau were introduced in 2001, it was quickly established in the first codex that the only reason they even managed to make it to the "present" of 40k was due to a series of accidents that allowed that particular scrap of nowhere to slip beneath everyone's notice.

But here's the thing: we didn't really need that excuse. Every time we see maps of Tau space, it's always zoomed in to such an extent that it looks much bigger than it is... because, unlike every other faction, you can't have a full map of the galaxy that only focuses on the Tau, because it's always just a pinprick.

My personal favorite of these maps is the one from the 5th edition rulebook, but it's common with all of them.

To put this into better perspective: Tau space is almost always described as a sphere about 300 light years in diameter, which is roughly the same size as "The Bubble," the cluster of human worlds centered around Sol, in Elite Dangerous.

And that, right there, is why the Tau should be interesting, at least to me. They represent what could exist in the hidden parts of the Warhammer galaxy that slips beneath everyone's notice because SPACE IS BIG. The Imperium of Man may technically cover the entire breadth of the Milky Way galaxy, and "hold" a million worlds... but there are 100 BILLION stars, and even more planets besides, in a galaxy that stretches 100 thousand light years from end to end.

That is A LOT of Outer Space that could hold any number of secrets and weird alien species that nobody would know about until somebody accidentally stumbles on them.

The Tau could have - should have - been a jumping off point, allowing Games Workshop to make the setting feel even bigger and far more strange than it already does. The Tau could've been the template for introducing "pocket empires" to the setting: smaller xenos armies that people could use in skirmishes, but without entertaining the illusion that they have the military projection power to stand up to the other factions on an appreciable strategic scale for an extended period of time.

And yet...

It fees like Games Workshop consistently misunderstands what should make the Tau interesting. Every new codex, every new edition, it feels like we get more and more of GW trying to be like "No, no! The Tau can definitely stand toe-to-toe with the Imperium of Man! They build tall rather than wide, and are ABSOLUTELY a threat to the Imperium, we promise!" when in reality the only reason the Tau are even still here is because the Imperium always has bigger problems to deal with.

There was the bit I mentioned earlier, where the Tau were initially saved after they discovered fire due to a mixture of freak warp storms and the Age of Apostasy causing the records to get lost. The Damocles Crusade ended in the Imperium's withdrawal because of the imminent arrival of Hive Fleet Behemoth. The Third Sphere Expansion was only successful because Failbbadon Abbadon launched the 13th Black Crusade at the same time on the other side of the galaxy, blew up Cadia, and split the galaxy in half with the Cicatrix Maledictum. Every single time the Tau do anything, a much bigger threat always shows up, and causes everyone to forget about the Tau until they inevitably go back to poking the monster.

Like, I know it's GW doing this, but sometimes it feels like Tzeentch is secretly pulling strings behind the scenes to specifically ensure the continued survival of the Tau, for no other reason than simply because the Changer of Ways thinks its funny.

And that's not even talking about how they've slowly morphed into The Gundam Faction.

Like, it used to be that the Tau Empire was supposed to be this big conglomeration of many different alien races all working together. And there are token mentions of that in the 9th edition codex, with a big list of names largely devoid of context. But as soon as you see these guys in action on the tabletop, it's immediately clear what they're about. You only ever see Tau, and you only ever see Big Robots.

Which... it's not bad, the model range looks great, don't get me wrong. But it still feels slightly disappointing, when you think about what we could have had.

I love Warhammer 40k.

But I also hate Warhammer 40k.

Because I see all this potential... and, inevitably, I see it squandered.

And it frustrates me to no end.

#Warhammer #warhammer 40k #warhammer 40000 #40k #wh 40k #Tau Empire #T'au #tau #Grim Dark #In the Grim Darkness of the Grim Dark far future of Grim Darkness there is only Grim Dark #Drunk Skunk Rant #wasted potential

[the-official-account]

Do you love detective stories but hate cops?

Do you love gay detective stories and hate capitalism?

Like disabled main characters who's disability actually comes up?

Like characters of color but not in the mood for stories on racism?

Tempted by the thought of romance at ages of 30+?

Does the idea of stories so queer you'll hesitate before calling any character a "man" or a "woman" make you think "Ah, yes pronoun shenanigans, just like my discord used to make"

And you into an abundance of strong, diverse female and nonbinary characters?

Do you fight for women's wrongs?

I know rep-only recommendations can be annoying, but I'm trying to grab your attention to promote some Indie media. Luckily, though, this post isn't rep-only!

To read my full reccomendation and review of Three of Hearts, click below. ♦️♥️♣️♠️

And if you aren't in the mood for a new thing right now, consider reblogging! Maybe even ping a friend who might be into this! You love supporting queer indie creators!

Note: I am not involved with the making of the show or the game space Kings. I just really like this podcast.

The story

♠️♣️♥️♦️Three of Hearts♦️♥️♣️♠️ centers on two paragovernmental agents in a fantasy, post-war, queernormative 1950s.

Roughly 20 years before the opening, a set of heroes purged magic from the world to turn the tide of the war. But scraps of this thaumaturgic energy still remain. S.U.I.T.S (securing unpredictable injurious thaumaturgic situations) is an agency founded to deal with everything left behind.

When two of the longest standing employees at S.U.I.T.S, Agent Vellum and Agent Felspar, are called onto a new case involving stone crops and a missing person, Felspar isn't surprised (Though Vellum, who's injury had him doing desk work most of his career, is). Things devolve quickly when the Agents realize this case comes from Felspar's home town of Cloven heart, an idyllic magical village that prefers to handle justice on it's own.

Answers yield only more questions, as the Agents realize almost everyone in town has something to hide, and Felspar isn't the only one whose past keeps catching up to him:

How much magic is still around? What's Vellum got sloshing around in there that people think is so juicy? What is Diamond, elven pop star and queer icon, doing in such a small town? Just how big is this case, and how can the Agents balance their legal responsibility, with promises they've made to Cloven Heart?

WHEN. WILL. THEY. JUST. KISS?

(if you're skeptical about central romances, I get it! See notes on aro/aceness and platonic relationships in the rep section for more info)

The combination of magic and newfangled war tech — think telegrams and radios — is somehow just as charming as a rotating cast of characters who will each stake their claim on your heart, but betrayal is imminent and mistrust is rife. The story strikes a wonderful balance between slice of life goodness, and edge-of-your-seat high drama, culminating In a show I highly recommend.

But are they just reskinned cops: my answer has got to be no. While they are technically law enforcement, the main two are entering a commune-like space, where that isn't so welcome. It's a situation they treat with caution and respect. The classic cop-plot of "Should I make myself judge, jury, and executioner because The Bad Guy™ deserves punishment" just isn't a problem. The justice system isn't perfect, in our world or the show's, and the story acknowledges that. But in a social, cultural way, they don't act like cops. They DO act like detectives. But the rules they choose to break and the ones they choose to follow will hopefully satisfy my fellow cop-haters who crave a good mystery

The format

♠️♣️♥️♦️Three of Hearts♦️♥️♣️♠️ is an Indie actual play — this is not DnD, hear me out — podcast in the game Space Kings. All the tension of dice rolls, without drawn out combat or clunkiness, it's a breeze of story-forward listening, even if you've never listened to actually play podcasts before!

If you've tried dnd actual plays, and haven't like the flow of them, I would recommend trying this. A few encounters that may feel random (though they're not) get the story kicked off at a fast pace, but it quickly settles into a story with a tight plot, great pacing, and impactful character development.

The use of a playing card deck to see the outcomes of risky actions means that no matter what happens, success or failure, the tension keeps rising. And the hosts do a wonderful job of explaining mechanics in the show, so it never interrupts the listening experience.

Actual-play connessuires who want to primarily see people playing a game might not be satisfied, as bonuses are given liberally, and I would describe the podcast as more story focused than game focused, But the risks are ALWAYS real, sometimes (often) with thrilling, shocking outcomes.

Also concerned AP listeners should know there's some chaos magic involved! I was surprised when it first came up, and doubtful about how it might affect the story, but it ended up weaving into the rest of the plot really well, and I feel neither like it had no affect, nor like it shook up everything the party was building in an unsatisfying way. Personally I would have preferred to go in knowing it was there, but I also don't think it's major enough to belong in the main synopsis. Now you know, though!

The hosts make a real effort to blend stats and story, and I think the pull it off wonderfully without spending too much time on mechanics. If you want to see that though, session 0 and other details are on the Patreon (where you get the same content no matter how much you pay, at a minimum of a dollar a month).

The pod has all the lighthearted fun and banter of a "friends around the table" show, but never once have I had that "oh my god, I'm not a part of your inside joke, shut up and play!" Feeling.

I think it's a delight for AP and non-AP fans alike.

The episodes: roughly 45- 75 minutes long, with a midtro and some post-end music scenes, so listen through the end music, or check that there isn't extra content by seeing how close the play head is when the end music starts. It's not too long and quite pleasant in my opinion! The midtros always come at a nice moment to step back from the story, and are not too long and not irritating. I enjoyed listening to them! At some point, a midtro starts getting reused, and I was slightly disappointed I wasn't hearing new jokes every episode, but it's a small thing. I skip the repetitive ones with my 30 seconds forward button, and while I haven't timed the Intro, that's worked really well for me. I don't have to fiddle with my play head to make sure I don't skip forward too far. Super convient.

Trigger warnings: the show is pretty lighthearted! Listeners sensitive non-graphic mentions of needles, blood, and/or guns might want to skip on this one, but most episodes don't get heavy. The few that do have pre episodes notes that warn you things get dark, how they get dark, and how to skip the darkest bits. Personally, I listened through them and enjoyed those parts a lot! But if that's not your thing, I agree with the warning that they're very skippable, and I think trigger-sensitive listeners will be pleased. As an indie pod, there are no fan made, super specific lists of triggers. However, my DMs are always open if you have particular concerns, and I'll answer to the best of my ability.

I try to emphasize the balance between lightheartedness and drama, but if you mental health is sensitive to grim & dark media, i think this one is pretty safe. Please always exercise caution! But I'd describe 30♥️s as emotionally restful.

Transcripts: transcripts are in the works, but do not currently exist. Three of Hearts is a non-scripted show, so those are also unavailable

The rep

Don't you hate when someone raves about rep and you go in expecting something good and get like. One dog-boy described as having "chocolate colored skin"? Or when people make a "watch for rep" post and then mention like. Gay and maybe trans people and that's it, even when shows DO have disability and POC rep? Yeah that's not me. Here's the spoiler free rundown, race is at the bottom because I get into more detail with it, not because it isn't important:

Edit: For more on some of these topics from a hosts perspective, see the reblogged addition by @/citrusandsalt

MLM characters: Main characters, one confirmed bi the other unknown

Wlw characters: Reoccurring side characters (present or mentioned in every episode I think) Married. Orientation unspecified.

Enby love: LOTS. It's actually hard to really categorize mlm and wlw stuff because almost every character is nonbinary. Anyways— it's VERY queer

Women: I...I don't know exactly which characters are women 😂. But there are many feminine characters, and they're badass as fuck. Some are compassionate, some are cold, some are chaotic, most are a mix! The two main characters are...masculine...(I say with much hesitation) but you will not feel robbed for your woman-ly content.

Non-traditional family structures: All of the families in the story, pretty much, are non-traditional. Adoption is super common. (You want some wlw who just KEEP adopting kids? You got em) Found family is a MASSIVE force in the story. Also, It's a post-war story.........which is to say almost everyone's parents are dead.

Edit: an MC had poly parents, which may not be obvious but is true!

Polyamory: to my knowledge so far, there are polyam characters, and it is definitely present in the world! But no poly relationships in the forefront. I am about 2/3 through the current episodes, so there may be a present polyamorous relationship later, but also if I confirmed it that would be a spoiler. This may be that "playing it by ear" thing that happens with ttrpgs. I wouldn't listen for the hope of polyamory alone, but I don't tell you it's not there/won't happen.

Trans characters: almost all of them. Might think "oh there are only a few!" And you are wrong. You are so wrong.

Neopronoun users: yup! To my knowledge, minor characters. A handful who use at least he/she/they or they/them and may also use neos in a manner im forgetting

Plurality: no system characters yet, but the creators are friendly, I asked ;)

Platonic relationships: YES. As an aro person who hates so many romance tropes this one gets my stamp of approval. There's no real jealousy drama, exes who communicate and are supportive, and romance doesn't kill friendships. There's a central sibling relationship and non-familial platonic ones that have conflict, drama, resolutions, and a deeply satisfying significance in the story. If you don't like romance at all, this one might not be for you. If you just don't like stories exclusively about romance, I think you'll enjoy this. Genre wise, I'd definitely describe three of hearts as a mystery primarily with a strong romantic subplot, not a romance itself, and that comes through in player and character's additives and priorities.

Aro/ace characters: none confirmed yet to my knowledge. Romance is very central, sex is joked about on occasion but it isn't at the forefront of the story at all. There are many, single characters who are thriving.

Edit: Actually! There is one character who discusses demiromanticism in cannon that I forgot, and another confirmed out of cannon character who is ace. Both are non-main major characters!

Age diversity: the youngest characters in the show are older to middling teens, and the oldest are in their 400s. Okay but the oldest in human terms are roughly 60-70. The most common age range, and the ones the central characters are in, is 30-40. The second most common is that 60-70, then some ~40-50 folks here and there, with people in their 20s being probably the rarest (no named ones off the top of my head?) And there are a small number of teens. This is not a story about youth and youthful beauty. Generally, the older a character becomes the most bad ass/spooky powerful they are, and older characters are very involved in the plot.

Mental illness and neurodivergency: to my knowledge so far no characters are in cannon confirmed to have a specific mental illness or ND, though I wouldn't be surprised if it was part of a character or the main characters, and just hadn't come up. Listeners with cluster b or "scary" disorders, or with conditions that may cause them to lash out, will find satisfaction with how compassionately the narrative treats werefolk. To say more encounters spoilers. I would also say that depression, while the word isn't used and it is not central to the story, is present as a narrative force, and also treated wisely and with compassion. Still, as is usually for a good story, all of these bitches need therapy.

Disability: LOTS. There's a lot of "different, not broken" themes that disabled listeners are likely to love, but both of the main characters are disabled! One is a cane user, the other experiences migraines. These have a genuine, pressing, mechanical impact on the story. It's COMES UP. It's a real joy. For a magical world, there is no magical healing! Or there is, but it isn't a perfect solution, which in my opinion is just a magical version of real healing, though yours may differ! Also, there is a minor, reoccurring character who's a wheelchair user, and I think he's really fun.

Disfigurement: Excuse me if I am not prepared with the most sensitive way to speak about this, but I'm doing my best! There is a character with no eyes or nose, who is central and lovely. To my knowledge, there are no amputee characters or characters with limb differences (of the wheelchair user I'm not sure if it's specified whether or not he has legs). There is a character of questionable morality who has significant facial and bodily disfigurement. In as few spoilers as possible: this was not injury or genetic related. The disfigurement is treated with a firm compassion, and does not exist as a "this character is evil" signal. It's a long arc, but I imagine people who relate will be satisfied, though I cannot speak for anyone.

Characters of color: many! The main two are Hispanic and Asian. Terms like "dark skinned" are used for characters, but in the fantasy world race doesn't exactly translate, and I wouldn't call it "important" in this story. Read more about race below:

Fantasy racism: sort of! The word "race" is used to mean "humanoid species" and I know some folks don't like that? None of these fantasy races are oppressed, but specific people (Magic versus non-magic people) have conflict about that aspect of their identity, and policing is a related concern. I would place the allegory more in the space of transness and disability/neurodivergency if pressed to choose, but it doesn't feel like it's trying to tell a story about real-world oppression, primarily. I have more complicated thoughts on exactly what I'm trying to communicate here, but they involved some spoilers. DM me for more info!

Hosts/creator identity: out of three hosts, two are white, one is not! They are very queer, and disability is also...a thing! These are real life people, so I'm not going to get into detail, but check out their twitters plugged in the show for more on how they self-identify.

Okay but are they racist: Real talk! As a black person who thinks I keep my ears sharp, I would say no! Not at all! This is one of those situations where I was like "YOU'RE WHITE?" And shocked about it, (if you listened to TSCOSI, same vibe) which is a very good thing in my books. The hosts are open and sensitive, and I have no complaints, however, this is just one perspective! This isn't coincidental, race is an active consideration in how the story is told — just not a central theme.

Edit: One of the hosts, Essay (@/citrusandsalts) discussed more on hosts identities in a reblog! If this concerns you, and you want less of me walking on eggshells about other people's identities, read her addition too!

Edit 2: Jordan, the GM also has commented additions!

Minor but worth mentioning: A minor character has a name with what I believe is the Nahuatl "tl" sound in it, which is not pronounced correctly. It's a really hard sound! I can't really do it! But if that really irritates you this might not be the podcast for you.

People who might be interested in this post, as always let me know if you don't want to be pinged (I rarely ever do this) and it won't happen again: @citrusandsalt @fyeahaudiodrama @boombox-fuckboy

#my posts are never sponsored i am giving them MY money #tpp #the penumbra podcast #because i think ex penumbra fans would like this a lot #audio drama #actual play #indie podcasts #podcasts #edil chats #edil makes reccomendations #three hearts cast #okay to repost anywhere please repost this #ttrpg #actual play podcast #indie ttrpg #indie role play #indie #uhm. uhhh. uhm. are those enough tags??? #listen to three hearts cast

[mymainwastoocluttered]

I'd read porn of you (Idia)

Do you want to kill Idia? Huh? Is that what you want? Because this is how you kill Idia.

NOTE: I only write for female reader but everyone is welcome to read it!

Suggestive, as the title implies.

— (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

"Wha–? W–w–what did you just say?!"

"I'd read porn of you," she answers, eyes drinking in his image appreciatively, like there's somthing delicious in his ratty appearance.

"Don't– don't just say shit like that!"

"It's true, though! A girl gotta satisfy her needs somehow~"

"Shut up, shut!"

Idia doesn't know on what to focus: the fact (Y/N) just casually mentioned pleasuring herself, or the fact she implied that she wants to do so thinking of him. He's so busy thinking about it that the game is paused for the first time since he started it, five hours ago.

Is she just teasing him? She must be, right? She must be just playing around. There's no way that she would think of him out of all people, including all her other friends in NRC. A lame loser like him, who can't even look at her eyes for more than a second. He wil never be the sexy, smooth character who'll sweep her off her feet and unlock the hot sex scenes at the ending.

No matter how much he daydreams of it.

He'd really enjoy to be the guy who can straddle her on his bed, cage her under his body as she squirms in want. He'd really enjoy to be the guy to kiss her slowly, explore every inch of her mouth, steal her breath away literally. He'd really enjoy to be the guy to undress her with steady, gentle hands, and press fervent kisses all over her exposed skin.

He'd really enjoy to be the guy... well. Just The Guy™.

But he isn't.

He's Idia.

"I'd like to actually act it out with you, of course, but I'll settle for a fanfic," unaware, or maybe uncaring, of his internal conflict, the girl grins, wiggling her eyebrows. Idia regrets turning his chair to look at her.

"... please, stop," Idia mumbles, looking away, not wanting to get his hopes up.

That backfires when (Y/N) finally gets up from her place on his bed, practically running the short distance between it and his chair. She practically kabedons him to the chair, and by now his once slightly pink hair is most definitely completely pink, just like his burning cheeks.

"Idia, by the Great Seven, I'm head over heels in love with you and absolutly desperate. You have ignored every other advance I've made, so here I am, being blunt about it. Please date me, and also throw me on your bed and make me scream."

Ding! New Quest received!

His body moving on his own, Idia does exactly that: grabs her by her thighs, hoisting her up with an ease he will be surprised about when he thinks back at this moment, and very few large steps later, he has the girl of his dreams laying on his bed, under him, warm and soft and wanting.

And maybe for right now he can be that guy and act out some E(xplicit) rated fanfictions with her.

Maybe if he does well enough, she'll stop reading those and come to him for relief.

#idia shroud x reader #idia shroud #twst imagines #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #x fem reader