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remcycl333 · 6 months

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some thoughts on imagination and fulfilling ALL your desires, no matter how small ♡

hiii! just wanted to share with you guys some things ive been thinking about lately and a new discovery!

so first of all! i went through a little phase this previous weekend where i could not imagine for the life of me. i just could not concentrate, and i kept hyperfixating on every little sound in my room and it was very frustrating. i also could not fall asleep because i usually use daydreams to lull myself to sleep and i couldn't daydream! it was very frustrating.

(side note--at one point i wished that my room would just be silent and then i lost power for a few hours and my room WAS dead silent for a while, lol)

but then i was scrolling thru loatwt, like i do, and i found this acct @/scriptercas and they made a couple of posts about the way they imagine (i like this one too) and i tried it that night and i was DEEP in my imagination for like an hour straight. like me??? adhd aphantasia me???

i know that a lot of you guys are like me and have aphantasia and therefore can't see mental images and you can get discouraged by imagining, but this is definitely my new holy grail and i think this will work so well for you guys too!

(p.s. if you guys are into shifting, that account has some great advice! i'd really recommend!!)

i also recently re-read edward art's series, which i have mentioned in recent posts. once again, i know ive also said this recently, but i highly highly highly recommend reading it (or listening, there's also an audio form) if you haven't already! even if you just read the first five parts. i swear if you are still struggling to fully grasp the law, after you read it you will get it. it's so good.

i bring this up because in a lot of the parts, edward talks about building the habit of fulfilling every single desire--no matter how small--that you have, as it comes to you. and i've just been ruminating on this so much lately.

i remember at the beginning of my loa journey, there would be things that i wanted and i'd kinda mourn the fact that i didnt have them... when i didn't have to. i could've just fulfilled myself. but instead i had the idea in my head that "i'll manifest my sp first, and THEN i can get my desire of receiving flowers." or, "i'll manifest money first, and THEN i can buy the expensive things i want" or "i'll manifest my new apartment, and THEN i can host dinner parties for my friends" etc.

but what i've been thinking about lately--prompted by edward--is that you dont have to want for anything anymore. i can give myself any and everything i want in my imagination. i don't have to wait to manifest something else first.

this has really bolstered my imagination game as well. everything you want to do with or experience once you have your desire, you can have/experience in your imagination right now. and it really adds to your imaginings. it really helps immerse you more and helps you capture the feeling of it being real.

for example, when i was manifesting my apartment, i had sooo many things i wanted to experience once i'd manifested it. i wanted to have my friends over for game night and cook them dinner and make them cocktails. i wanted to bake in my spacious kitchen and have fancy utensils and expensive ingredients. i wanted to shower in my fancy shower and use expensive bath products. i wanted my own vanity stocked with expensive makeup and perfumes. i wanted a large walk in closet with rows and rows of gorgeous clothing. i wanted to come back from a night out and leave my clothes strewn about the bathroom bc i was too drunk to put them away, and no one was gonna see them or yell at me for leaving them there. like some of the things i desired for were so mundane, yet i felt the absence of them in my life every day. for example: living close to a target, being able to make adventurous meals without worrying if my family members would like them, playing video games with my friends in my own living room.

everything i just listed were things i wanted so badly once i had my apartment, but whenever id run into the opposite in my every day life, i wouldn't fulfill myself at first. like i'd go to cook the same old dinner i cooked for my family every other night and i'd be like "ugh i wish i could be in my own apartment where i did the grocery shopping and i could buy fresh ingredients and make an elaborate meal instead of just having pasta and jarred sauce again." but then i realized that if i were in my dream apartment i would be able to do that. i spent so much time imagining waking up in my new apartment and what it would look like, but in the end, imagining stuff like this is what really helped me to fulfill myself and catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled.

i was really reminded of that whenever i re-read edward's series, and now im applying it to my new desires as well. it's so funny that no matter how much i manifest or how much i learn i always find myself forgetting little tidbits like that that really help me and are very valuable.

anyway i just wanted to make this post to help you guys a little maybe! i was just in the shower and i was remembering edward saying to fulfill every little desire you have--not matter how small-- and i was remembering the days i used to imagine myself in my current shower, and id close my eyes and imagine the scent of the shampoo i wanted to get and i'd feel where every individual bath product would be placed once i had my own shower. and all that inspired me to write this!

i hope that this helps you guys out and/or gives you imagination motivation! i feel like it's important to imagine all the small things that pertain to your desire that maybe you overlook while imagining, but that you know you deeply yearn for even if u think they're mundane or that you'll just get them once you get your big, overarching desire <3

#law of assumption

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lcvejoy · 10 months

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i’ll call your mom

wilbur soot x gn!reader

word count: 1,140

tw!: angst, hinted at thoughts of $uicide. nothing overly descriptive, but be warned!! hurt/comfort. so many petnames - based off of i’ll call your mom by noah kahan. not proofread (bc why would i ever proofread anything)

a/n: i’m not rlly proud of this one, but i wanted to post something before i dissect every single piece of writing i create and never post again lmaooo. this can be read as romantic or platonic btw!

“orange”

he jumps up from his bed the second he hears that word uttered through the speaker of his phone.

“okay” he whispers gently, putting his shoes on and grabbing his car keys in one swift motion. he doesn’t remember the last time he’s moved this quickly. although to him, it feels like he couldn’t move any slower. “that’s okay. okay? you’re okay” he’s out of breath as he speaks into the phone. he shoves his key into the cars the ignition, he hears the car rumble to life as he throws the gear into drive and rips out of his driveway. his phone is on speaker, sitting on the dashboard as he drives.

“love?” he breathes out “c’mon darling, you gotta talk to me” he’s definitely speeding now. his headlights letting off just enough light for him to watch how quickly he passes by each tree that lines the road.

“i-i’m sorry” he hears you sob out, “don’t drive all the way out here. i-i didn’t mean to call o-orange” you sniffle. there’s a beat of silence before you speak again.

“i’m just spiralling again, that’s all”

your apartment is a 20 minute drive away from his, but he’s confident he can cut that time down to just over 10 minutes if he drives fast enough to get there, but not fast enough to raise any alarms to any potential officers.

“i’d drive all night if i had to. besides, you can’t cancel an orange, love. that’s the rule.” he tries to sound calm as he speaks, though his voice comes out like a gasp for air.

orange - a code word created in a treehouse by two 8 year olds. to call “orange” is to call pain, because screams of joy and screams of pain were much too difficult for two 8 year olds to decipher. so, instead, one would yell “orange” and the other would come running to help. the rule of orange were and are: you only say it when it’s real. you can’t fake an orange and you can’t take it back - because you’d only call it if you were truly in pain.

‘orange’ back then was most often used during backyard games like hide & seek. ‘orange’ now is most often used when the darkness has fooled you.

it’s always been rare for you to call ‘orange’, even when you were young. you were always tough, handling each bruise and scrape like it was nothing. but hearing you say it always causes the same pit in his stomach, the same panicked feeling, the same rush to get to your aid as fast as possible.

“talk to me, y/n” he demands, a clear panic in his voice. he hears nothing but some rustling on the other end. his heart drops, then speeds up, then drops again.

“i can’t drive without knowing you’re breathing, y/n. just make a sound, okay? any sound” he’s talking so quickly that he’s not even sure you understand what he’s saying. there’s a pause, more rustling, and then a small hum. he lets out a breath. “good. okay, good. thank you” the relief is clear, though his voice still holds an edge, “i’ll be there in 5 minutes, okay? stay with me, darling”. he speeds up. he doesn’t care if he alerts police with his fast speed, he just needs to get there.

“should i call your mom?” he asks. he’s worried. he’s so incredibly worried. this is his greatest fear - the silence, the call, the drive, the word.

he hears a faint and mumbled ‘no’ come from his phone as he pulls into your apartment parking lot. he makes a sharp turn into the nearest spot, missing the lines completely, as he parks his car and jumps out.

“i’ll be there in two seconds, okay? two seconds” he rushes, ending the call, and running. he takes the stairs. he figures the elevator would take too long and cause him to panic more as he watches the little screen go up one number at a time until it hits your floor. he skips a step as he runs up the stairs. he doesn’t notice he’s out of breath, he doesn’t really feel like he’s breathing. like he’s holding his breath until he sees you alive and okay.

he reaches your floor, runs down the hall to your apartment door, and reaches for his spare key to quickly unlock it. he bursts open the door, running in and closing it harder than intended in his frazzled state, causing the door to make a very loud slamming noise.

“y/n?” he yells, going immediately to your bedroom. he walks over to your unmade bed, lifting the covers only to find you not there.

if his heart could sink any further, it would have.

“darling?” he yells, walking to the bathroom. the door is shut but not locked. he opens it quickly and there you are, sitting in the far corner against the bathtub in a tight ball. legs up to your chest, your arms tightly wrapped around your legs to keep them close, your forehead resting on your knees. you’re crying, he can hear your soft sobs and sharp breaths.

he rushes to your aid. he’s by your side so quickly that you barely hear him take a step.

“come here, darling” he pulls you into him, taking your full weight onto his lap as you fall limp into his arms. he’s practically cradling you.

“i know” he soothes, kissing the top of your head, “i know, love” he repeats.

“look at me” he begs, “look at me.” you do, you look up with a crumbled expression and wet cheeks. “tell me you didn’t do anything bad” his voice breaks. he’s shaking as he cups your face, wiping your tears with his thumbs. “please, baby” his eyes gather tears now, “that’s my greatest fear” he confesses.

you shake your head, placing your hand over the one resting on your face. “i didn’t” you respond, “i-i promise i didn’t”. his face morphs into a relieved expression - “thank god” he whispers, pulling you into a tight, cradled embrace.

you sat there for a long time. you cried until you couldn’t anymore, he whispered reassurances and periodically kissed your hair as he rocked you.

your tears eventually stop but wilbur never stops rocking, never stops whispering, never stops kissing your head and smoothing down your hair.

finally, in a broken whisper; “im sorry.”

“don’t” he whispers back.

“you don’t have to fight yourself anymore.”

the silence returns. this time, you invite it. silence isn’t as dark with wilbur here. when wilbur’s around, all the lights that were turned off were suddenly turned on.

don’t be discouraged, you think, you’ve been here before. this will heal, we will mend, you will not break apart.

you breathe.

#wilbur soot #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur x reader #wilbur soot fic #mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #dsmp x reader

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chrollohearttags · 2 months

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it's ☃️ here again and I have more questions but reverb edition bc I love how 3 dimensional the characters are...

1. Now what is rapper!connie's true IDEALL type (if he actually has one). like he's immediately folding and falling to his knees because she's everything he wants type shit.

2. Do any of the pole assassins ladies swing the other way perchance...? IDK if you mentioned this but i'm getting a vibe...perchance.

3. What are mika and jean's favorite things about one another?

4. How would eren react to being posted on the shaderoom and having them get in his business? I recently saw a video of summer walker flipping the shaderoom off and I screamed 😭😭

5. IDK if you didn't go into detail but is sasha an influencer here as well or an artist?

6. Does eren like any other forms of art besides music/writing in this universe? I don't feel EJ is the type to like go walk a museum (or maybe he is) but I feel he definitely holds some appreciation for like visual arts yk??

7. Is influencer!y/n any good at games? I remember you mentioning him being a gamer and I had the idea of him teaching her to play madden or COD or some shit and her being sooo bad to the point where he gets a little upset bc no way you're this bad at the game.

once again that is all the questions my brain has come up with, until next time *fades off into background*

hello again, snowanon!! 🤍 I swear you always come with the best asks. I’m actually working on reverb right now so thanks for this! (sorry these took so long btw!)

1. now Connie isn’t the type of dude to discriminate when it comes to the ladies. He loves them all but he will undoubtedly fall in love (and maybe propose on the spot) for a tall women or BBW. he loves him a girl who’s taller than him or a plus size lady. I’d say his range is anywhere from Meg to Lizzo. But he really just a loves a woman who can make him laugh. Somebody he can clown with.

2. Yes 3/5 do in fact! 😭 our girl (y/n) is bisexual. Eren is honestly the only man she loves. Niesha is pansexual + Syrai is lesbian. Kelley and Brianne have only ever dated men but they’re not against the idea of being with a woman!

3. omg I literally love these two so much and I hadn’t had a chance to elaborate yet but Jean and Mika are each other’s saving graces, dramatic as it sounds. Jean helped Mika stand up for herself when she felt powerless and she helped him realize his dream and that he was worth more than being on the sidelines. I think Jean’s favorite thing about Mika is her determination and how smart she is. If she wants something done, nothing can stop her. She’s headstrong but she’s soft in the same turn. Not in a weak way or that she wants to be babied but she’s so compassionate and emotional about the things + people she loves. As for Mika, she loves how much of a natural leader Jean is. He’s dominating but in the best way possible. He knows she can handle her own business but she doesn’t have to when he’s around. She can be comfortable in her feminine energy without feeling weak. All in all, they just compliment one another so well!

4. LMAO! the day Eren ever ends up on the ShadeRoom, everybody’s getting their feelings hurt. 😭 what makes it so bad is that it would probably be for some dumb shit, like them trying to messy about he and (y/n)’s relationship and now he gotta cuss everybody and their family dog out :(

5. so the next few chapters are going to feature Sasha heavily but my baby is actually Mikasa’s assistant for the time being. Her ultimate goal is to do music, more so as like a country hip-hop artist. She’s basically mentoring under her and Jean both.

6. Eren does have a great appreciation for other art forms. He has a few unique and expensive paintings in his home and he himself loves to draw. Many of his tattoo pieces are artworks of his. He also enjoys stage plays, shockingly! (he’s really a theater kid cosplaying as a delinquent, don’t let him fool you 😭😭) but he enjoys reading from time to time as well.

7. okay listen! my sis be giving it her all to beat this man LMAO. Eren is so damn competitive that he can’t just play shit for fun, he makes everyone want to fight him. But the one game he does NAWT want to see her in is Tekken. That’s been her favorite series since she was a kid and she gives him the work every single time.

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autistichalsin · 21 days

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Don't know if this helps but I think a lot of people (esp neurotypical ppl) see multi paragraph responses as hostile or confrontational, bc length = very strong feelings. Ppl (subconsciously) emotionally view them as ranting. I blame the fact most ppl communicate online through social media that favors short, punchy/glib comments. Even multi tweet threads are a bunch of short comments in a row; nobody talks on forums where conversations span weeks anymore. I think that's why I don't see long essay response chains on Tumblr as often as I did pre 2018.

Oh, also, ppl not understanding a lot of non-neurotypical folk's communication where you prefer to make absolutely sure you're both getting across the point you want to make and saying everything you want to say. And since the only way to do that is use words (which are such terribly misunderstood things) you use as many as you need to. And then ppl see multiple paragraphs and instantly get defensive.

I still don't think that means you need to change the way you communicate though. Someone can always ask you to clarify your intent after all. Just thought maybe I could offer insight on that one part you questioned. My best friend is autistic and we actually had to have a long conversation about communication bc I was misinterpreting her verbosity for irritation, so it's something I had to think a lot about. Anyway! The tone indicators can probably help, hopefully.

(Tone: appreciative/thoughtful)

That's a good point too, because it has become less popular (and suspiciously right at the same time TikTok became the preferred socmed site). I remember when multi paragraph responses were just kind of the standard. Like I'm a Fandom Old, I've been around since Livejournal and I was one of the first 10,000 users on AO3 (on my first account).... this is all new etiquette.

TOTALLY agree about the autism thing like. Using a lot of words makes it less likely I'll be misunderstood... until now I guess lol.

I appreciate you very much, thank you for this ask! I won't change how I communicate PER SE, though I am probably not going to be posting disagreeing posts to anyone but moots again for a while because uh... there are definitely people reading my stuff in bad faith who will be waiting for their next chance to twist my words lol

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seokmattchuus · 1 year

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Seok Mattew as a Dom

A/n: I love this man with my whole being. It's only fair he's the first zb1 thing I post. P.S I don't wanna hear s h i t about the gif. There's only so much to work with right now 😭

P.P.S I did not proofread because I have copious amounts of caffiene in my system and cannot read properly. If there's typos, let me know and I'll fix them when I'm normal again <3

Soft dom.

Softest of doms.

Also,

CAREGIVER VIBES

SO MANY CAREGIVER VIBES

He's up first most of the time so he makes breakfast to make sure you eat.

Smoothie person? He's got it made.

Cereal person? Prepped with your favorite spoon.

Full fledged meal? He's working on it but the eggs are done.

If he isn't up before you, he's blowing up your phone all day.

"Did you eat?"

"You forgot your water thingy. I'll bring it by later :)"

"Make sure you eat enough for lunch! Snacks and energy drinks don't count >.<"

Even if you pinky promise to eat a proper lunch, he doesn't trust you.

"Oh yeah? Show me what you're eating."

Turns into a whole video call during your lunch that you barely even get to eat anyways.

He's clingy what can I say

Okay back to soft dom matthew.

Doesn't like raising his voice because it definitely hurts him more than it hurts you.

Because you're his lil baby.

How can he yell at his lil baby and be okay after that?

Raising his voice is the last resort or reserved for major fuck ups.

Usually says your name in that tone.

You know.

The soft dom tone.

Timbers? Shivered.

It usually does the trick because you don't really want to make him mad.

Unless you want to.

But we'll get to that. Put a pin in it.

He's up first most of the time so he makes breakfast to make sure you eat.

Smoothie person? He's got it made.

Cereal person? Prepped with your favorite spoon.

Full fledged meal? He's working on it but the eggs are done.

If he isn't up before you, he's blowing up your phone all day.

"Did you eat?"

"You forgot your water thingy. I'll bring it by later :)"

"Make sure you eat enough for lunch! Snacks and energy drinks don't count >.<"

Even if you pinky promise to eat a proper lunch, he doesn't trust you.

"Oh yeah? Show me what you're eating."

Turns into a whole video call during your lunch that you barely even get to eat anyways.

He's a giver. For sure.

I'd bet my life on it.

L o v e s foreplay.

He drags that shit out.

Kisses. Kisses everywhere.

Loves hickies.

Will trail them down your body.

And leave the biggest ones where only he can see :))

Bc he thinks they make you look pretty :))))

All in all just really wants to make your private time last. It's not like he's got other things to do.

Gives you head before sex.

Always.

Doesn't like restraints because he loves feeling you tug on his hair.

Gives him motivation, y'know?

He knows what you want.

And how you want it.

Say 'please' and he'll give it to you until you're begging him to stop

Because he totally does it for him more than for you.

Like, say he's had a rough practice.

Maybe a petty argument.

He'll text you some shit like.

"Can you get all pretty for me?"

"Remember that set we bought, can you put it on for me?"

You know what's coming and it just gets you worked up.

You know by now to just wait on the bed.

He wastes no time burying himself between your legs.

He's not moving anytime soon.

And with the hold he'd have on your legs, neither are you.

You're stuck there until he's done.

And that's not until you're crying and shaking because he needs you to be absolutely spent before he considers letting up.

Speaking of-

He might dabble in overstimulation, but not maliciously?

If that makes sense??

Like, his stamina is insane and after he's done eating you out, he's already getting ready move on.

And for the most part, you're not opposed but like,

Damn, not even a snack break, y'know?

He's just going.

Def likes missionary because eye contact.

And he can kiss you whenever he wants.

"Look at me, baby."

"So pretty like this."

"Such a good girl."

Likes to hold your hips.

Maybe leaves bruises.

(And totally apologizes afterwards)

I can see him liking doggy.

infrontofamirrorsohecanstillseeyou

I said nothing.

Maybe holds your arms behind you.

Or grab your hair.

You'd have to ask though.

Because he doesn't want to hurt you.

And even if he complies, he's constantly asking if you're okay.

He needs the reassurance.

He'll give you what you want but you have to tell him that he's not hurting you.

You're his precious baby bean and the last thing he wants is to hurt you.

UNLESS

Yeah, we're back to pushing his buttons. Take that pin out.

:))

Let's say the tone encouraged the brat in you and you wanted to test how far he'd go.

He's not gonna say anything while you're out.

Oh, no.

And of course, you're gonna take that as 'he's not gonna do anything', and you keep going.

But he's keeping track.

:))))

And it'll definitely come back to bite you.

"You really thought you'd get away with that?"

"Did my baby forget who's in charge?"

"What kind of punishment do you think you deserve?"

It's a trap, don't answer.

Because whatever you say will be wrong.

If you're thinking you got a one-way ticket to rough sex you are also wrong.

He will hold a grudge.

And he will fuck you over when you aren't expecting it.

Let's say you wanna cook dinner.

He offers to help.

:))))))

You're there, minding your business, chopping up some veggies.

He comes up behind you, all sweet and innocent.

His arms loosely around your waist.

Until he pushes forward and you're trapped between him and the counter.

You wonder why he's like this but then you remember.

:))))))))

You're trying to focus because you know he wants you to give up.

But he's got a plan.

His arms tighten around your waist and he leans down to press kisses on your neck.

He's still eyeing the hand holding the knife.

"Think you can do something for me?"

"If you can finish prepping those, you have permission to cum whenever you want."

Another funishment I think he'd be into is making you wear a vibrator that he can control.

But you have to be super busy.

Errands to run, homework to do, studying for a test.

You have to be doomed from the start, essentially.

Because then he has a reason to talk shit.

"C'mon, baby, we're just walking around the store."

"Focus, baby, you can do it."

"See? You're doing so well."

"If you can finish this assignment on a higher setting, I might let you cum."

You get princess treatment afterwards, lemme tell you.

He has pajamas set up but you have to bathe first.

But you don't have to do anything.

He bathes the both of you so can just relax in the water.

The bath is completely PG. No dirty thoughts bc he knows you're tired.

Shampoos and conditions your hair.

Gently washes your body, being extra careful where he knows you're sensitive.

Dries you off :((

And does the hair wrap thing :((((

Puts the pjs on you and goes to get some water.

He lets you pick a movie.

Not that you'll be awake for it, he just knows you like background noise.

He just puts on pajama bottoms so you can fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat :(( <3

That one's for me bc I love that shit

The second you wake up, best believe you'll have all the food you can think of in front of you.

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ouabhs · 6 months

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acftl review (finally)

I give it a 3 ⭐️ (as much as it pains me) even then it’s only this high bc I love evajacks so much

so I was finally able to gather my thoughts into one post and while there were many things I enjoyed a few others didn’t sit right..

1. the whole story curse thing.. it makes sense that the story curse would twist things which is why some things were left unexplained but it doesn’t feel like it was done deliberately?? it just felt like stephanie genuinely didn’t know how to tie some things together.. like sure not every single thing needs an explanation but she emphasised certain things wayyy too much in the first two books for them to be completely ignored for example evajacks talking to each other in their minds. Even the broken heart scar wasn’t addressed again after like halfway through acftl

2. too much apollo.. sorry this is not even just me being biased or whatever like I do agree his pov helped explain the plot from a different perspective but he got wayyy more of a backstory and a conclusion to his character than jacks for a someone that wasn’t as present in the last 2 books.. and this was supposed to be jacks’ series kinda (ik it was evangelines too) but I feel like jacks got sidelined hard and that’s disappointing. It also didn’t help that whenever there was an intense scene between evajacks the pov would switch to apollo.. to be fair I think having 3 povs was just hard to execute in general

3. the kiss scene.. usually it would not be a big deal but it’s a big part of jacks character that he can’t kiss girls without killing them idk I thought him finally getting to kiss evangeline would be a lot more… grand? they barely got a page or any detail and then the next chapter was “once upon a time there was kissing and more kissing 🥰🥰” which was even more underwhelming. Even apollo and evangelines kiss scenes were longer and more detailed and they got multiple

4. the overall vibe of the 3rd book felt very different to the first two I couldn’t put my finger on it at first but I feel like it had something to do with the writing.. at some parts it felt familiar (like all the descriptions and the fairytale aspects) but others it just felt different?

5. during too many scenes it just felt like stephanie was rewriting tbona.. like I haven’t really seen anyone say this yet but a good chunk of the book was quotes from tbona which I feel took up a lot of unnecessary space and could’ve been used to develop other plots or characters? Literally someone that hasn’t read tbona could get a gist of what happened cause it’s all summarised in there 😭

6. the plot in general.. contrary to popular belief I don’t think this was that romance focused (as people claim as to why things weren’t explained) because I think stephanie incorporated more plot in here but it was just different to what we saw in the last books because previous characters (luc, marisol, tiberius, kristof) weren’t as present in this book and new characters plots and explanations were just thrown in.. not much felt connected

7. jacks’ backstory.. (going back to my second point) how he became a fate was really glossed over I feel and was only briefly mentioned but I just wanted more.. I do like the fact that he said he did it for chaos and I wish their friendship was delved into more because he literally turned to immortality because his friend would be alone. What about his parents? His friendship with Lyric? The merrywood three in general? His life when he was trapped in the card?

8. the first fox.. again wayy too significant to be missed out especially since jacks doesn’t really remember whether or not he had a thing for her and chaos said evangeline was similar to her.. how was there no link?

I definitely have more to add but for now my main takeaway is that while tbona was very hard to top I feel like acftl could’ve been so much more especially since it was set up so well.. I think so many people are disappointed because it doesn’t hold up as well for the last book in a series but I’m just glad evajacks got their happy ending 🫠

#acftl #evajacks #ouabh #acftl theories #evangeline fox #caraval #jacks x evangeline #tbona spoilers #the ballad of never after #jacks prince of hearts #a curse for true love #acftl spoilers #stephanie garber

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linddzz · 2 months

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Whooooo! I found ya! Down to business:

Are there any fic recommendations for baggin/shield or pitch/frost that you like(d)?

I am absolutely feral

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…..

What are 3 of your most favorite fics that you’ve ever read?

Ya found me! Let me say that the notifications of someone going through old fics and commenting are ambrosia. You are a treasure and a saint of a person!

And oh man I had to dive into my old bookmarks for these! I'm good at remembering snippets or vibes of fics but not the fics themselves. I will warn that a lot of my fave pitch/jack stuff tended to be pretty dark. It's not like, a thing I regret or say is wrong, and I still enjoy/love a lot of it! I was in a dark place mentally and that reflected in the stuff I was reading and creating. Who actually has a good time in their early to mid 20s?

Mostly warning because most of my stuff since then skirts the edges or flirts with the darkness but doesn't feel that need to go deep diving.

Second warning is there may be less here than you'd think! The more I write for a ship the less I read, because my brain gets very dumb and the self doubt gets Real Bad. This is all non-exhaustive of course! I wouldn't even say this is my Best of The Best it's just what's coming to mind at the moment. There's way more in the AO3 bookmarks

Pitch/Jack fics

In the Dark - series by @charmed7293 romancing the monster under the bed is maybe not always the best idea

The Syntax of Programming Languages, and, Why Some Code Talks in Accents - by Midievil. I'm biased here bc this was a gift fic inspired by my The Device Has Been Modified, but it done showed me up bc it was written by someone who knows more about actual coding than me

Shadows and Light - this series by @not-poignant is The Classic of the ship. Since you liked Things That Were you'd most definitely like this one. And unlike me, Pia actually finishes things!

I swear to God there were a lot of fics by @insufferablearchanist that I loved but they nuked their old AO3 and I can't ever remember shit.

Thorin/Bilbo fics

Prayers to Broken Stone - @avelera the beauty and the beast flavored au you didn't know you wanted

Comfort in the Sound - by northerntrash. Ok. Yes. It's Bilbo/Thorin/Bofur but like. Trust me on this. Road trip throuple shenanigans

Patchwork Robe - @hallsofstone2941 I am not immune to stupidly adorable modern college au one-shots

Possession - aljira. You liked Sanzigil, you'll like this :)

Marriage in the Manner of Dwarves - series by diemarysues

Other Fandom Faves (that come to mind. I've been reading fanfic since like 2002 ok there's a lot that has made impressions over the years that I just lost track of dkdjdk)

Taking Everyone For A Ride - by Nonymos. Venom/Eddy+Anne/Dan. typical Eldritch shenanigans plus polyamory. Unhinged and weird, just how I like em

The Only Way Out Is Down - @avelera Newt/Hermann. The second PR movie was so bad I wanna erase it from my memory but my god did it spawn some AMAZING fics, including this one that rewired my brain

After Zero - by what_alchemy Newt/Hermann. A bunch of delightful smut

The Wine Dark Sea - @moorishflower Dream/Hob. Siren! Dream au. Jesus Christ. Holy fuck. Goddamn. Gorgeous, monstrous, surreal, Unhinged4Unhinged behavior. Listen. I work with octopuses. I know what their arms feel like and that has ruined almost all tentacle shenanigans for me ok?? This fic got past that hangup.

If I Please You - @moorishflower Dream/Hob. It feels like a modern retelling of an old medieval fairy romance goddamn

And finally. This series. The series.

So. I very recently refound this series and I'm almost hesitant to post it. Because as I was reading it again I kept having to put it down and sit in horror at the realization that I read this fic when I was in college and it actually rewired my brain. I realized everything I have written was trying to recapture what this fic did to my synapses. I was chasing after vibes that I did not realize originated in this fic for me. Me sharing this risks everyone who reads it and has read my stuff also going "ooohhhh you're just doing this again huh?"

It is the very specific combination of "Character A: openly unhinged, obsessive, violently romantic and unnerving/Character B: seems so chill and just happily rolls with CharacterA being insane, because they are also secretly insane." It's the combo of a codependent bonkers relationship with humorous banality of their day-to-day.

It's also a Johnlock fic.

Anyway, The Paradox Series rewired my brain so deeply that I didn't even realize it rewired my brain until over a decade later. I swear I have been unaware of how much my writing has been leaning on what this did to my brain.

#fic recs #i cannot stress enough how non exhaustive this is dkfjdkdj #refound the paradox series like a month ago and kept having a fuckin crisis about it to my friends #like UH OH IVE JUST BEEN SNATCHING THIS FICS ENTIRE VIBE THE WHOLE TIME

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blossoming-mind-palace · 12 days

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Chung Myung SFW Alphabet

Decided to separate this from the original NSFW post bc I wanted to see how it performs engagement-wise. I'll leave a link to the NSFW one at the bottom, and I'll probably do the same for the rest of them.

TW: Alcohol and mentions losing people

SFW Alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

I feel like his favorite ways to show his affection would be through acts of service and words of affirmation. His acts of service are domestic acts like making your plate or saving booze for you at the dinner table. When it comes to his words he makes sure to tell you he loves you at least once a day, because you never know what day will be your last.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Mount Hua's most mischievous duo. You can read each other's minds and go out for drinks regularly.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Likes to be the big spoon or to be tangled up with you. He also like being the little spoon when he's feeling vulnerable.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He didn't get to marry or have kids during his past life, so I feel like he'd want to settle down in this one.

When it comes to cleaning he's decent. If I remember correctly his room isn't messy in the webtoon, so he probably cleans regularly. He probably makes his bed after he wakes up too.

When it comes to cooking I feel like he started a couple of kitchen fires when he was learning how to cook. He's a decent cook now though!! I feel like he'd be into meal prepping.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He'd probably be blunt yet respectful. Sorry, but I don't have a lot for this one. I don't like angst.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He's definitely a date-to-marry kind of guy. Hookups and affairs are a waste of time to this old man!! He would probably marry you after around 3-4 years. He really wants to get to know his partner before putting a ring on it.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

When compared to other disciples, he's definitely more gentle with you. He's only rough during training because he doesn't want you to get injured in a real fight.

He's also softer emotionally. The disciples think he plays favorites when it comes to you. (They're right)

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He gives the big ol' bear hugs. He also hugs you more often when you two are alone. He dislikes it when other people gawk at you two. They just can't fathom the fact that the rabid dog can be soft and affectionate with someone.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Due to his inexperience, it takes him a while to realize his feelings for you. Like he feels them, but he doesn't know what they are. He takes a while to tell you that he loves you because this is new territory for him. After the first time, he won't hesitate to let you know that you're loved and appreciated.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He trusts you to be loyal, but he will get grumpy if you spend too much time with someone else. Again he knows you won't cheat; he just wants all of your attention and some brat is stealing it!

If someone's flirting with you he will get pissed. This situation can end in two ways. Way #1 has him showing off that you two are together via physical affection. He wants to rub it in that you're his, and that this person should back off. Way #2 is just him beating the fuck out of that person unless you want him to stop.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He'll give quick pecks on the forehead and cheeks when in public. When in private, he likes to kiss you anywhere and everywhere.

He likes being kissed on his shoulders and lips.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He's really good with kids, and it shocks everyone around him. He likes to roughhouse with them but knows how rough is too rough. He wouldn't forgive himself if he accidentally hurt a little kid.

He also strikes me as the kind of guy who's a strict parent but loves to spoil his grandkids. Is open to having kids or adopting in the future.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Definitely a man with a routine. We already know that he wakes up early, probably makes his bed, trains, and then washes up. He probably eats breakfast after all of that.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

You probably go to bed earlier than him. He trains by himself before bed, and I headcanon him as someone who showers before bed.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He'll try to open up about his past, but he can't be completely transparent. He just doesn't know how people would react if they found out he was the plum blossom sword saint. Besides that, he tries to be as open as he can without revealing his identity.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

This is Chung Myung so we already know he's easily irritated. He has more patience with you than the other disciples. Like he'll actually let you tease him and stuff. You'd have to betray or lie to him to make him genuinely angry. Besides that, he's pretty lenient with you.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He's an observant man, so he'd have your favorites, your mannerisms, your opinions, etc. memorized. The kind of guy to remember something you mentioned in passing like two years ago.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

It'd probably be when you get into a fight for him. Like you noticed someone talking shit, things escalated, and you ended up fighting that person and won. He'd like it even more if you defended him on the battlefield. He's probably the kinda guy to get turned on by his s/o fighting.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He's pretty protective of you, and would protect you if you couldn't handle things yourself in battle. He rarely needs to be protected but will find it hot if you try to protect him.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He likes more casual/domestic dates, and he won't put in much of an effort unless you want him to. Normally he doesn't feel the need to woo you unless it's an anniversary, birthday, or if you guys haven't seen each other in a while. On days like that he'll go all out, take you to town, go shopping, take you to a restaurant and order your favorite foods & booze, and then rent a room at an inn for the night.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

We already know he has terrible manners. His ass does not know how to act at the dinner table. He's probably gone to bed smelling like alcohol multiple times. He also likes to hog up all of your free time and wants all of your attention. It's not bad to me (clingy men <3), but I know some people would get irritated by that.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He's not super concerned with his looks. He's a naturally pretty boy despite not having a skincare/haircare routine. He's the kind of guy that washes his face with water and he still has perfect skin.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

After a long-term relationship absolutely! Hell, even if you two were platonic, he'd still be sad if something happened to you. At this point, he's attached to all of his disciples and you're one of them. If any of y'all died he'd feel like he's lost of piece of himself. If you two were in a long-term romantic relationship that'd be amplified tenfold.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He'd love it if you cooked for him. You know those tiktoks where people make cute lunch boxes for their s/o's? Bring one of those to him after his training and he'll want to marry you on the spot. He also likes it when you feed him. Spoil his ass.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn't like people who lie with malicious intent. He'd also be turned off if their partner is controlling.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Good luck sleeping with Chung Myung, because he's a chaotic sleeper. You'll go to bed in a cute cuddly position and wake up with multiple limbs in your face. He's also warm-blooded, so he's more likely to cuddle during the winter. If he lived in the modern day he'd be the kinda guy who always sleeps with the fan on no matter the season.

Also, he old man snores.

NSFW side here! (minors dni) Original template here!

Please lmk if you guys want more :'}

#rotbb #return of the blossoming blade #rotmhs #reuturn of the blossoming blade #chung myung #cheong myeong #cheongmyeong #x reader #cheongmyeong x reader #chung myung x reader #reader insert #gn reader #prompts #sfw #fanfiction #sfw alphabet

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codenjoyer8 · 9 days

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does anybody know this fic, usually i'm pretty good at finding lost fics but i cannot find it for the life of me. it was posted on tumblr but it is also on ao3 and the ao3 version is much longer iirc

its a simon riley x reader fic, might be tagged as dark!simon because theres an implication he kills someone (in the ao3 version i don't remember this being in the tumblr cut)

he and reader are childhood friends, reader is a civilian, it opens with reader ranting to simon about her dating life while hes sitting on her couch and he makes some kind of dry comment and the reader goes "youre so british" or something. also definitely paraphrasing but theyre having silly banter and reader is like "omg youre supposed to be supportive like my girl friends would be ��"

then later on reader gets with another character who i believe is named nick, and simon is jealous bc he wants the reader

(this i cant remember if its a part of this fic or im mixing things up but there is potentially a detail about the reader confessing to simon when they were younger but he rejected her? i remember it like this but it could be the other way around)

reader and 'nick' have a pretty decent relationship, i remember one scene where he picks reader up from work and she rants about her coworkers and hes like "wow (reader's coworker) sounds like a bitch" and they get back to the apartment. when they are making out and then are interrupted by simon texting them

toward the end simon makes his intentions a bit more obvious and nick stops texting the reader for a few weeks, i think theres a comment (that reader makes to simon, not nick) about how she will give nick another chance but cant be with him if hes insecure about her and simons relationship? i honestly dont even remember him being insecure cause he was pretty chill about simon so i think this was just a result of simons behind the scenes manipulations to make the reader think poorly of nick

nick never ends up contacting the reader again so she gets with simon, they are finally together and in his car driving to dinner where she texts nick to end things officially but after sending the message she hears a ping or a light flashes coming from the trunk, and she looks at simon like "wtf" and he doesnt say anything but the way he acts is implying he did kill nick and nick is in the trunk. the reader is in disbelief and starts feeling this slow shock/dread realising what he did

and thats the ending

if you know any fics that resemble this please send even if they aren't 100% matching with the details because i only read it like twice a few weeks ago and did not bookmark it 🥲🥲 tsym in advance if you have any leads!

#call of duty #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #dark!ghost x reader #dark!ghost #dark!simon #dark!simon riley x reader #dark!simon riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #ghost x you #simon ghost riley x you

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freckliedan · 5 months

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omfg so im reading your linguistics paper rn and im at the part where you talk about how its taboo to post abt the vday vid or dailybooths etc. but i feel like the chains have loosened over the years so to speak? cuz like, on twitter people have just. posted full dailybooth screenshots, or reference the 2009 phan song all the time which itself refs vday. and im wondering if thats like, because the community had gotten smaller after the dapg hiatus that ppl were more lax about it, or if it felt like dnp were more lax about it, or if these are all younger fans who werent aware of this etiquette at all but since so many younger fans have been joining like post coming out they just dont see it as taboo at all? some self-policing does still occur, specifically w ppl reposting dans nakedbooths, but its def not the case of YOU HAVE TO BE COMPLETELY SILENT ABOUT THIS anymore. i havent even finished reading yet but im enthralled

OOH thank you for the question i have so many thoughts on this actually. (context)

i think there's multiple reasons why the taboo on discussing the vday vid & other deleted social media things has grown lesser? under the cut bc i got wordy.

partially i'd chalk it up to the change in phandom demographics. like, there's a way lower proportion of us now who were around for the direct aftermath of the first major leak in 2012, or who even were a part of the phandom when a majority of folks had been present for that. things were so bad and painful then & in the era directly afterwards! people still learn about that but the knowledge of how bad things got is always going to be different from the lived experience.

so that's reason one: i think that within the fandom the strongest emotional reaction to the existence of the vday video & deleted social media posts will always exist in ppl who were around in 2011-2013 & similarly deeply ingrained in folks who joined right after that in 2014-15. and i think there's still a lot of us but there's also just like.. so many less of us now, too. the vast majority of my mutuals from 5 years ago have abandoned or deleted their blogs.

i do think another part of why things have gotten less taboo is bc it's no longer something that has the potential to out dan and phil/how directly they've acknowledged the social media posts (& to a lesser degree the vday vid)?

like. dan literally used screenshots that he almost certainly got from the phan directory in basically i'm gay. they acknowledged that the manchester eye meant something to them in giving the people what they want/witl (watched them at the same time, can't remember which had that in it). i know they knew how people would react to them mentioning iconic teen dalien moments in the big wheel in the sims.

there's also the fact that like... angry phil DMs/copyright strikes are a thing of the past? i'm not going to tell people where to find the vday video but it's stupidly easy to locate on more mainstream platforms at this point in time. shit, that brings me to another point: fans who joined more recently weren't around for the era where blogs were getting taken down for what they were posting. another reason it's more chill now.

like, the openness of the secret is like, something that makes seeking out the taboo less of a thrill?

but on the other hand! learning in detail abt the vday vid and old social media posts is something i think people find less necessary now? that used to be the most concrete like... phan proof. proof they were queer. and now that they're explicitly gay and openly together to the degree that they are it's like. the value of the information has lessened.

to go in a different direction. i definitely wouldn't call it a formalized etiquitte that the youngun's just don't know, especially when it comes to the social media posts—they've always circulated and even 5 years ago when i wrote that paper they were more openly talked about even tho the vday video wasn't (though again: 5 years ago was still wayyyyy more lax than 2013/14).

ultimately there's always just been so much clout tied up to knowing about the vday video & social media posts? so even though being too blatant has always been a taboo transgressing that norm with skill has also always been a phandom value.

i'm not going to get too far into the ways that dan and phil's fandom literacy and the fan response of archiving everything play into things bc i think i covered that well in my paper but yeah!

i don't have a good conclusion but: less % of the fandom being present for the aftermath of dnp being outed by the leak + greater aknowledgement of these subjects by dnp + less value for the information in the vday vid & deleted social media posts = more casual attitude towards vday vid & social media posts and a healthier phandom overall

#jam replies #jam thoughts #linguistics essay

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theneighborhoodwatch · 24 days

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002 - Popstar, Franklydear and whatever we call what Wally and Home have going on

(send me a character/ship to hear my thoughts)

i've gotten Multiple asks about all of these pairings, so let's not waste anymore time. under the cut bc unsurprisingly this got Long.

POPSTAR

when or if I started shipping it: i think it first Really started with this pokemon AU post clown made talking about what he thought they'd be up to in that universe... the language he uses in that post really caught my eye, and it just kinda snowballed from there, especially as canon started picking up and we saw more of them interacting 1-on-1.

my thoughts: i feel like we don't really get a lot of yuri in this specific Type of horror (i.e. cute thing is secretly fucked up), at least not in the west. i think that's a crying shame, but i believe popstar has the potential to truly open the floodgates. unless i'm forgetting herstory - idk i feel like there's definitely some rpgmaker game out there that'll prove me wrong but you know what i mean. more mascot horror yuri NOW.

What makes me happy about them: i think it's super cute that they both kinda geek out whenever one of them asks the other for help, like they're being asked by this big huge celebrity and not, like. their literal next door neighbor lol. sally in particular - as bullheaded as she is, her insistence on trying to put poppy in the spotlight more often isn't because she thinks poppy is untalented and needs to train up, but because she genuinely thinks poppy is Just That Stunning And Talented And Beautiful, and doesn't want that to go to waste. nepotism has never looked so romantic <3

What makes me sad about them: sally seems to enlist poppy's help Way more than poppy does sally's, and while sally clearly Wants to take poppy seriously, she has a hard time not immediately brushing off other's concerns in general because She's An Auteur, Dammit, She Knows What She's Talking About. it does make me very worried for poppy! i think things between them are gonna get Way worse before they get better lol. not dysfunctional enough to be toxic yuri but certainly painful enough that it will Get Me when it happens.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: THAT NOBODY WRITES IT

Things I look for in fanfic: MORE OF IT

My kinks: again, serious in-depth answers go on the nsfw blog only. i will say i think they're definitely those people who keep trying to set up roleplay scenes only to get distracted by trying to figure out the technical aspects and/or getting so in-character that they forgot what the end goal was.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: poppy partridge if you read this im free on Thursday night and would like to hang out. Please respond to this and then hang out with me on Thursday night when I’m free.

My happily ever after for them: after a series of trials and tribulations, complete with at least one breakup arc, the two of them reconcile in an appropriately dramatic apology-that-looks-suspiciously-like-a-marriage-proposal scene. i don't really know what happens after that. i was going to say they go on to become lesbian statler and waldorf, but i think they would both be too invested in trying to give actual constructive criticism, so maybe they just mst3k it instead.

FRANKLYDEAR

when or if I started shipping it: i dunno! i don't remember ever being opposed to the ship, but there was definitely a period of time where my approach to it was more "hmmm i wonder what this ship being canon means for welcome home's Themes" and less "ough fuck they make me so sick," as opposed to the current day where it's a pretty even mix of both.

my thoughts: god what haven't i said about them. i think i peaked with this post. i don't think anything i say can summarize the appeal of their relationship to me more succinctly than that.

What makes me happy about them: when it comes to eddie, frank is like. frank is so fucking funny bc he seems to be under the impression that he's being subtle. yeah get mad whenever anyone who isn't you makes fun of that beautiful big breasted mailman to the point where you'll even defend his honor in the merch advertisements and also when you Do make fun of him be sure to be gentler than you would be with almost anyone else but also don't let up entirely bc then you won't get to see him be adorably flustered and also enforce a surname-only basis with him so people don't think you're getting too chummy but ALSO drop the surname-only basis whenever he seems genuinely upset to let him know that you're worried about him and want to help. and also do this in front of everyone at a holiday party. nobody will suspect a thing. and the best part is that IT WORKS ON EDDIE. EDDIE ALSO THINKS FRANK IS COOL AND TRUSTWORTHY AND RELIABLE ENOUGH THAT HE AUDIBLY/VISIBLY RELAXES WHENEVER FRANK ENTERS A SCENE.

What makes me sad about them: EDDIE'S ASS IS NOT PREPARED FOR THE DAY THAT IT'LL BE FRANK IN THE PROVERBIAL LOVESEAT OF TORMENT. arguably neither is frank but like given how eddie saw frank at the end of the homewarming special? it's going to FUCK him up.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: when i click on the eddie dear/frank frankly tag. and i filter out all mentions of wally darling. i should not still be seeing wally darling. do u understand. get that little yellow cunt OUT of here!!!!!!!

Things I look for in fanfic: pre-established relationship hurt/comfort or angst. i realize i may be alone in my interpretation of franklydear as not being Together together yet, but i am stubborn.

My kinks: i wonder how many times i can say "ask for my nsfw blog" without it getting old.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: GOOD QUESTION. i don't think either of them would particularly struggle to find a partner if they didn't end up with each other, but i also can't see either of them being attracted to any of their other neighbors.

My happily ever after for them: these two images specifically. in general they should get to be huge cornballs for at least a little while should they successfully endure The Horrors.

HOME AND WALLY. HOMEWALLY? WALLYHOME? WHO KNOWS.

when or if I started shipping it: an old friend of mine made a joke about it once in 2022, waaaay before there was any like, huge fandom presence outside of a few scant discord servers. i thought about it too hard and now i'm here.

my thoughts: romantically or not, THEY ARE SOOOOO DOOMED, DUDE. THEY ARE SO FUCKING DOOMED. and i don't mean, like, "yeah they have some stuff that makes their current relationship less than ideal but i'm sure they can work things out ^-^" no i mean DOOMED. there's only one way this relationship can end and it is in BLOOD and TEARS. and i will be there with a tissue box and a big ol' bucket of popcorn. i've written about them so much on this blog already but by god i will write more.

What makes me happy about them: the obsessive aspect to their relationship, like. it feels very mutual. it would be so easy to make home coldly imposing 24/7 and/or just have them be taking advantage of wally's love for them, but. no. they seem just as attached to their inhabitant as he is to them, for better or worse. i get a lot more mileage out of a relationship where both parties Love each other and desperately want to be all-encompassing for one another in All aspects of relationships, but live in a reality where that simply cannot be, and their relationship is wildly unhealthy as a result. home is a monument to a past that either never existed or cannot be revived without Severe consequences. but wally doesn't care about that. all wally cares about is that he is his home. see also: this post.

What makes me sad about them: [copypastes the entire above paragraph]

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: most wally/home fic is either pure crackfic or fic in which home gets hit hard with the ron the death eater treatment. like jesus, he's already pretty morally ambiguous in canon by just Standing There, you don't need to make him an actual rapist to establish that his and wally's relationship isn't exactly ideal.

Things I look for in fanfic: i don't look for it because i've pretty much given up on it being there at all, but i hope more folks write some actual character study-adjacent stuff about them some day!

My kinks: i do have actual answers to this but no way am i stating them here. again, i have a separate blog for that.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE.

My happily ever after for them: you know that's not gonna happen.

#mobileleprechaun #ask #welcome home #popstar #franklydear #whatever wally and home have going on #....is there a ship tag for that actually #no there is not

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lostdrarryfics · 20 days

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lostdrarryfics monthly roundup! March 2024

Below you will find the requests we could not locate in the month of March. Please let us know if you recognize any!

You can also browse our lengthy lost fic masterlist, where we have compiled every request we have been unable to find over the past few years. We're always hoping someone will recognize a fic so we can let the asker know what it was!

1. I read this at least 5 years ago. I think it was on ao3, eighth year, where Harry gets turned into a kid (around 7years maybe? Definitely under 10) and McG makes Draco take care of him. Harry has big scars on his back from the Dursleys and they cause him to have seizures (? Or something like spasms maybe that are painful) fic is not The Dragon and The Golden Baby by jolly_love, or Baby Mama Drama by Stars-and-Stones

2. multi chapter post war fic I read a while ago on Ao3. I remember that Draco had to get married? but definitely live with Harry in Grimmauld Place in order to avoid Azkaban. I remember one scene where Harry takes Draco to the burrow for Sunday brunch with the Weasleys plus Teddy and Andromeda. I think Harry was talking to someone else and Ron pulls Draco aside and starts threatening him about doing anything suspicious he’ll beat him up and send him straight back to Azkaban. (Something along those lines) This triggers Draco because he was also being abused during the war and caused him to have a panic attack bc it reminded him of the past. Harry meanwhile finally notices Draco is missing and finds him hyperventilating with Ron. He tries to calm him down but Draco faints. He takes him upstairs to rest in a bed and tells everyone that he appreciates their worries but if they do that again they’ll have to face his wrath (something along those lines) and that when Draco wakes up they should be kinder towards him. Another scene is (80% sure/20% I’m mixing this detail up with another fic) teddy seems to really like Draco and is always happy with him or crawling towards him. There’s a scene where teddy is crying and Draco is looking for someone to help Teddy, but no one is near them, so he does it himself and Teddy immediately calms down with him. After that scene, there’s short snippets of Draco playing or putting his attention towards Teddy, while Harry watches them from afar and it makes him happy they get along.

3. not sure if it's on ffnet or ao3, but basically harry is heir of ravenclaw, hedwig starts teaching The Ways Of the Dark and he joins voldy because he's in love with Draco. i believe it was set in 6th year, because the bathroom scene still happens, but harry does it on purpose to not give away his disloyalty to voldy. (spoilers: harry goes full to the dark side but only because of draco. he has no loyalty to voldy beyond what he can learn and what he has to do because, again, draco. he is very much dark tho, people try to bring him down). it's fast paced from what i recall.

4. dark fanfic, not explicit or anything such as sex (that I remember) I believe it was drarry, so I remember it was a dark fanfic one of the darkest ones I had read, it included some death eaters cutting out a little muggle girls heart (I remember this because I cried about it.)because her blood wasn't pure and they tortured others, I read it on fanfiction.net I believe, basically they decided to kidnap muggles and torture them for fun because they didn't view them as clean blooded individuals. Harry or Draco I can't remember watched this happen.

5. dark one on AO3: I believe Voldemort had won the war and the golden trio and others had decided to hide children in camps,They hid muggle born and halfblood children in a camp where it was discovered after a death eater raid that all the children in that camp were found and killed, Draco was not trusted at first but over time harry and everyone else trusted Draco and Drarry happened during the story and was the main shi, I also want to say tried to save a child screaming for help during another raid but the child was killed before he could but that could be a different fanfic and I don't know if it was part of the fanfic or not (I just remember it right now thinking about that scene it sounds like hell on and I think Ginny was dead in this sadly, and Draco was a spy for Harry and the others for some reason reason because I remember him being morally grey, however I have no idea if these are two different fanfics

6. dark drarry fanfic, anyway I don't remember much only that they were at the yule ball in fourth year and Harry was on good terms with the Malfoys I believe, Anyway I remember them talking about Draco's grandfather being apart the original death eaters (The Knights of Walpurgis I believe) and this was either in front of the other Slytherin's and I believe Lucius was there (maybe Narcissa also) or maybe Draco was the one who mentioned it but for some reason I remember Lucius being there, I'm really sure it wasn't Lucius x Harry (Lucius was more of a parental figure I believe).

7. dark fanfic on AO3: I believe Voldemort had won the war and the golden trio and others had decided to hide children in camps, the death eaters Drarry happened during the story and was the main ship. Voldemort won the war. The golden trio + others where hiding children that weren't pure bloods (such as muggleborn and halfblood children). All children in one in one of the camps were found and killed by death eaters during a death eater raid this was later found out during a protest against Voldemort. Later on in the story a child was exploded/killed in front of Harry and he couldn't do anything. A medical place was bombed where they had taken survivors of the raid and Harry didn't know if Hermione had survived. Draco was a spy for the order or whatever organization headed by Harry for some reason. I think children were enslaved by death eaters if they weren't pure bloods and were treated badly. Draco was morally grey in this or he had made bad moral choices

FOUND! 8. For Draco to be inciated into the death eaters he has to kill a little boy. The boy asks Draco to kill him for some reason I think so Draco will live. The golden trio or Harry don't like Draco. Harry gets mad at Draco later on for killing the boy. The boys body was burned. Draco is taunted by the boy's death and feels guilty for killing him. The boy's name is mentioned but I don't remember it

9. I’m pretty sure I read it on ao3 and Charlie brings a girl to the burrow for either Christmas or some other celebration and they observe Harry and Draco and how the Wesley’s ignore draco? And she thinks they don’t accept the gay relationship. I think Charlie is also gay if I remember correctly and asked her to come to help him come out? Pretty sure at some point draco and Harry tell their love story and all the weasleys have never heard it cause they never wanted to ask.

10. it was set during the war and I think Draco was either hunting for horcuxes with the trio, or staying with the order/spying. The 4 of them end up staying at the Dursley’s while the family are away and Hermione sews fish into the curtains (and possibly the furniture too?) as a way to get revenge on the Dursley’s for the way they treated Harry. Harry and Draco were definitely together, but this is the only scene I can remember

11. Draco and Harry are elemental mages. Draco is an ice mage and Harry a fire mage, and they are linked or something like that. They are childhood friends, I believe, and Remus and Sirius are involved. It is set at hogwarts, for sure, so not the fantasy au that comes up in searches. It was a wip on ao3 when I read it and the last chapter I remember involved Draco venting his powers in the shrieking shack and Remus being concerned about him, as they have been negatively affecting his mood/temperament as they develop.

12. top Draco/ bottom Harry. Harry wears panties and Draco finds out. No established relationship other than Auror and healer. I read it on A03 2 months ago. It’s one chapter long. I’m pretty sure Harry gets hurt and they have to take his pants off to address it and that’s when Draco, his healer, sees them. It’s a short fic and that’s basically all that happens I think

13. 8th year centered. post war. it's from draco's pov. harry and draco always meet at the astronomy tower. harry keeps inviting draco to do things together but draco always refuses. harry thinks that he and draco are dating but they aren't. there's this scene that harry and draco are at the astronomy tower and harry invites draco to hogsmade. Draco refuses because the thinks it won't be a good idea to people see them both together. Harry says it's no problem but that he really wants to be able to tell Hermione and Ron about them. Draco asks what he's taking about and Harry tells him it's about their relationship. Draco goes like: WHAT??!! and asks Harry since when they are dating.Harry says since when he thinks they are dating and i think Draco comments about how they never even kissed. Harry says something about how he thought Draco wasn't ready yet and realizes that only he thought that both of them were in a relationship. He goes to apologize but then I think Draco kisses him or something. There might be a part where Harry teaches Draco how to cast the patronus but maybe i'm mixing two fics up. i read it on Ao3 and that is chaptered and longer than 20,000 words

14. Harry has a twin, and they were separated at birth. I don't remember if it was a no magic au, sorry. Anyway, Harry's twin was raised by Sirius (lily and James are still dead) and Harry by Bellatrix. They meet for the first time in summer camp for troubled youth, and shenanigans ensue because they're identical. I know one of the twins ends up with Draco, and the other one with Fred. It was incomplete, I think.

15. it was a professors fanfic where draco and harry worked together at hogwarts and i remember they didnt like each other, and i also very much remember that draco lived under some sort of aquarium under the great lake inside the common room. this seems really odd, because im sure my memory is wrong but i remember reading specifically that it was underwater and that it was located somewhere in the common room of slytherin.

16. I don't remember much of it but what really does stand out to me it's that I'm pretty sure it was already complete 'cause I remember it having a proposal in the end of it and pretty sure it was on Yule and I remember that there was I think at least Molly bashing? Anyways, it had something to do with Molly stealing from Harry and Arthur only finding out about it much later and actually being invited to the Yule celebration! And pretty sure one of the background pairings was Sirius/Charlie. It wasn't Lily's Boy, I'm sure of it! And I'm pretty sure it was Sirius/Charlie 'cause I remember it having a scene in a forest, where Dumbledore took Sirius and Charlie and that's where their relationship began. I think they were hunting Horcruxes? Or doing something like that.

#monthly roundup

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fluffydice · 7 months

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you should definitely write that yandere saiki idea you posted a bit ago if given the chance bc i would go feral. ur writing so good. scratches brain just right.

Kicking and screaming I REFUSE (until i clear up my writing schedule for the month,,,) you CANT MAKE ME-

Wordcount: 810

Warnings for referenced abusive relationships, and vague implications of dehumanization (treating someone more like a pet than a human)

The word ‘abomination’, no matter how harsh, kept brushing Kusuo’s thoughts. This Kuboyasu was so meek and dependent, the exact opposite of his own. Always on his heels like a loyal dog, staring at him attentively at the slightest movement. It made his stomach cramp. That wasn’t who Kuboyasu was. This boy had been twisted by his alternate self, and yet refused to see it.

Kusuo stalked up his stairs and tried to think. Maybe it was a blessing he couldn’t read his mind. (Side effect of being from another dimension?) Kusuo didn’t want to hear his thought process, didn’t want to hear the praises and adoration for him that no doubt suffused this Kuboyasu’s thoughts. Telepathy would only keep Kusuo further away, out of pure disgust for what had happened to the other. It-

Oop. It might have kept Kusuo from ripping open his door and walking in on the other Kuboyasu changing. Kusuo froze in shock, his face beginning to burn, entirely unaware of what to do in this situation. This was never a problem he’d had to deal with before. What did people even do!? Oh, good grief, shit, normal people had it rough-

“Oh, you’re back!” Kuboyasu smiled, entirely too eager for someone standing in just their boxers. He was holding the shirt Kusuo had snatched from regular world’s Kuboyasu’s room, and in one smooth motion, it was tugged over his head. He hadn’t even jumped when Kusuo came in, like he was entirely certain of his safety here.

Crazy. Kusuo couldn’t even fathom the idea. “Sorry,” he offered, a bit late.

Kuboyasu gave him a confused look. “For what?”

…Ugh. “Nothing,” Kusuo sighed, realizing it wasn’t worth it. Kuboyasu sat down on Kusuo’s bed to tug up his pants, and Kusuo found himself staring.

This Kuboyasu was abnormally pale. It made him look sick. But everything else pointed to a high degree of health; He was a nice weight and lacked even a hint of eye bags. His hair had a pleasant sheen to it that seemed to belie the assumption of low vitamin D, which made Kusuo think that the other him was even accounting for things like that. Pills, maybe?

Pills that Kuboyasu wouldn’t even be allowed to get himself. He had to rely on alternate Kusuo for all his needs, in complete control of another human being.

Kusuo was suddenly reminded of his brother. He gave a hidden camera a quick glare, inwardly wondering what he made of the situation.

Kusuo looked down, viscerally uncomfortable in his own body, then steeled himself. He forced his gaze back up. “Kuboyasu,” he said, getting the other’s attention. The boy straightened up, but Kusuo didn’t miss the flash of hurt at the usage of his last name. “What did you do? Before me?”

Kuboyasu’s eyes, without his glasses, were so wide. Guileless. Despite Kusuo’s Kuboyasu’s genuineness, he never looked like that. Fully trusting, nothing on his mind beyond adoration for the person speaking to him. It made Kusuo think about the dogs he saw sometimes, staring up at their owners like they were their whole world. Hell, Kusuo was this guy’s whole world. It was all he was allowed to see.

A person who would never betray him, someone who would only ever see the good in him. Someone who loved as easily as they breathed because that’s all they had been trained to do.

For a sickening moment, Kusuo could almost see the appeal in having that full-bodied trust, that security of love. Someone who would never hurt him by leaving.

A beat. Then- “I don’t remember,” Kuboyasu responded, smiling sweetly again. “Nothing, maybe. There wasn’t anything before you.”

So romantic. So heart-stoppingly, gut-churning horrific. Kusuo took a step back, shaking in sudden terror at himself. Alternate him, him-him, whatever it was. Other him had gone drunk with power over someone. That’s all this was. But there was a biting shame at the realization that this was something he himself was capable of, too. If he was pushed just enough, abandoned just one time too many-

Kusuo tugged open the door and fled. For a moment, he thought about leaving, but found himself stopping at the top of the stairway, breathing hard and squeezing his eyes shut.

He was in charge of Kuboyasu’s care right now. It obviously upset the other when he left. Alternate him had made this mess, and now Kusuo had to accept the fact that he was the one holding the reins for now.

He could hear Kuboyasu approaching hesitantly, obviously unsure of his place after being rejected by Kusuo so many times. He forced himself to turn around and cleared his face of any discomfort.

Kuboyasu was too fragile to go through a new environment, a new reality, without his security blanket. Kusuo couldn’t push him away; it’d break him.

And something told Kusuo that alternate him would be none-too-pleased to get his favorite pet back in pieces.

#i had already been writing this btw...#ill leave it alone for now this is just to get brainrot out #Saiki k #kubosai #fluffy writes a fic #tw abuse #fluffy creates a world

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simplyender · 6 months

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If it's asks you want, asks you shall get! I remember you mentioning that you think Spot will probably die in the next movie. However, Miles says something like "Spot only wants to be respected, like everyone else," before he gets interrupted by Miguel. Maybe this could hint at Spot making it out alive. Or this is just wishful thinking on my part. And if he really does die in the next movie, then it will be due to his own actions, like using up all his powers or smth like that.

tbh, my reasoning for spot dying can be boiled down to a few points. but first, i wanna talk about...

why i absolutely believe spot shouldnt be killed off.

1. the current narrative is that miles is effectively breaking the cycle that is "canon", giving a big 'ol Fuck You to whats defined as fate and inevitable pain. spots trying to force miles in to the narrative hes made up in his head (which coincides with whats meant to be "canon"), but things dont have to be that way and miles KNOWS that. i think itd be thematically appropriate if miles breaks this cycle of cruelty and allows spot to survive, making him have to face his own actions and crippling lack of self worth and actually work to make things better, for himself and everyone hes hurt.

2. im overly attached to spot being disability-coded, for more on that, please read this amazing post that opened my third eye. anyway, the tl;dr is that spot behaves and is treated a lot like a newly, visibly disabled person, subject to the same prejudices as they are as well as being forced to navigate an entirely new body, as somebody might have to if they were to receive a workplace injury that left them disfigured and permanently disabled. this is also why id like it if he doesnt get turned human again/"cured" at the end. it just doesnt feel like itd be satisfying for things to end like that for him. if anything, the most satisfying conclusion to his arc would if he got stopped, and then be given the opportunity to finally take responsibility for his own actions, and acknowledge his own fault in what happened to him and that it ultimately wasnt miles that did this to him and that even so, one of the things thats NOT spots fault is how he got treated for what happened to him so he really should get understanding and validation in that department. he also deserves to learn how to accept himself (beyond seeing his new form and powers as a tool to pursue revenge) as he is instead of it being framed likes hes only worthy of respect and recovery once he becomes human again.

3. i like him a lot and thinks he deserves better than to just be killed off.

why i think that despite it all, spot will be killed off:

1. any form of redemption or willingly giving up entirely depends on if spot can bring himself to listen to reason and take responsibility for his actions. something weve seen that hes notoriously bad at.

2. why would spot willingly choose to give up and back down when hes got absolutely nothing left for him in life? theres literally nobody waiting for him on the other side of this if he does. no family. no friends. no job. nothing. he might consider himself too far gone.

3. while 90s cartoon spot DID redeem himself, he did it through a heroic sacrifice...

4. lbr spiderman villains usually either get jailed or killed off. why would things be different for spot. because hes sympathetic? a lot of villains are. hes also insanely powerful and this could end up as a "destroys himself"" situation.

5. spot might be about to commit mass murder, which...definitely makes it harder to consider him as somebody "worthy of redemption".

6. ive watched so many of my favorite characters die. im not kidding i have the worst luck. 98% of them have been killed off and i think spot might be next in line bc its unlikely the writers care about him as much as i do. :(

so...yeah.

#the spot #atsv #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #spot #theories #long post #asks n answers #this was fun to write:) i like talking about spot

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uncouth-the-fifth · 1 year

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pythia, a supernatural rewrite. phantom traveler, p.2

read it on ao3. masterlist.

words: 4747 notes: HI FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELLO. uni is finally no longer kicking my ass, so here is a pythia update! since it's been an embarrassing amount of time since I last posted, i rly wanted to get something out for u guys - and as a result this chapter is shorter than what I'd like, but I hope still fun and silly ;) thank you so much for holding on with me and i can't wait to hear your thoughts! p.s - sam and dean are extra sweet this chapter bc i want all of u to love me again >:)

PITTSBURG, PENNSYLVANIA - Dec. 3rd, midday.

George Phelps was Max’s passenger, and, among other things, a loving and committed husband. He lived in a quaint little house in the suburbs, where his wife put his picture on the mantle and refused to say much to you. She didn’t have to. Just looking up at their house from the curb, decorated with soft glowing Christmas lights and silver crosses, you knew George Phelps wasn’t your guy. Maybe Max had seen him pry open the emergency exit on the flight, but you seriously doubted a dentist with acid reflux was behind the deaths of two hundred people.

Sitting in George’s living room and speaking with his wife, you swore that there was almost something there, but it was neutral enough that you doubted it was anything more than the wisps of George’s presence in the house. Fresh grief always felt the same.

You didn’t like how this hunt had been gnawing on you. The visions always itched you in their own way, but this time was distinctly, uncomfortably different, and you just couldn’t pin down why. It was your job to take the weird inclinations the Gift gave you and turn them into something usable. Somehow, you couldn’t even manage that.

You were the first one out of George Phelp’s stifling house and the first one into the Impala. In the safety of the backseat, you curled your nails into the upholstery until your fingers hurt and just felt. What were you missing? What were you recognizing, but failing to remember?

The thing you were hunting was big game. You’d had hundred-year-old vengeful spirits in your head, and they couldn’t even glimpse the kind of hatred you were dealing with here. It affected audio recordings, had loads of strength, and took a metal bat to your Gift every time you even thought about it. Somehow, it manifested with or connected to normal people. None of this rung any bells with you. Which was ridiculous, since it felt more and more familiar the longer you rolled your vision over in your mind—beyond close, like it was within arm’s reach.

Sam, in the Impala’s passenger seat, started giving you cautious looks in the rear-view. Dean had been halfway through griping about this case when Sam finally spoke his mind: “____… What exactly did you see in your vision?”

Both of the boys shared a furtive glance, then turned to look at you as one.

You must’ve shown the panic you were feeling on your face, because Dean’s clammed up with awkward sympathy. “...I know this one was tougher n’ usual, but I need you to buck up a bit, okay? This thing’s got nothing on you. C’mon.”

When you frowned, there was a bitter tang growing on the back of your tongue. You weren’t six. You didn’t need someone to coax your nightmares from you, and you definitely didn’t need anyone telling you to put your big girl pants on. Dean didn’t have to ask Sam to toughen up, even four years off his game, and you doubted he ever told himself to. Grr.

“Just start driving,” you gruffed, and failed to stop your lip from curling.

The arm Dean had hung over the front seat slouched into his lap. “...Sure thing. What’d you see?”

He turned the key and got you on the road again, joined, right on cue, by Sam’s kicked-puppy look swaying back to the windshield. You reminded yourself that the only reason you were pissed was because of how awful these last few days had been, and explained yourself.

“It was intense. Way more intense than most visions I’ve had. Not because of anything I saw—though the crash was… awful—but because of the feeling it gave me. Even when I got out of it… it just filled my head, I guess. This thing has a seriously powerful influence.”

Sam’s brows furrowed. “Did you see it at all?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted, reminded again of how little you were helping. “Most of it was just flashes of the passengers. The plane going down. Before that, I saw a man’s hand grab the handle to the emergency door, the pilots talking about a flight out of Pittsburg, and then smoke. Loads of it.”

The car sunk into a heavy, thought-honed silence that only served to ramp up to your anxiety. You kept the case on your mind for all of two seconds, then were pulled to the ceaseless clicking of Dean’s turn signal and how scratchy your bandages were. Your suit sat too stiff on your body for you to relax into your seat, squeezing your empty belly in the worst way and chaffing on Baby’s leather. The cold air was too dry and your eyes and throat burned with the strangest pressure. Not a sick pressure, but a living one, pressing in. Black smoke. Your pain meds were wearing off too, so the sinew in your body felt taut and worn on an unfamiliar skeleton.

You stared dead-eyed at nothing for a minute longer, then Dean hauled the Impala up to the curb again and declared: “Fuck it. We’re getting lunch. What are you in the mood for, baby?”

“That’s a weird way to say the car needs gas, Dean,” you managed.

“No—not her-Baby, you baby!” Dean flushed, and honestly, he deserved some serious points for scrounging up any humor right now. Again, he tossed an elbow over the seat and threw a dazzling, morale-boosting grin at you. “What do you want to eat, darlin’? We can go to a sit-down place, have an actual meal. Or we can just grab something from the store. Anything.”

You hesitated to answer, and caught Sam’s grimace—you were way too poor right now to go for anything beyond instant noodles. “...We can wait til’ later, Dean. I don’t really have an appetite right now,” you lied.

Dean never begged, but forever reason he was willing to today. Maybe you seemed even worse off than you’d thought. “...C’mon, kid, you’re killing me here. Whatever you want. My treat.”

Again, you didn’t jump at the chance to answer. Truth be told, you could eat a grocery store whole right now, but the three of you did not have the budget. Dean was insane and devoted enough to steal lunch for you, too, and you didn’t feel like bailing him out of jail right now. Just the idea made your wallet tear up.

You opened your mouth to try and be realistic, only for Sam to interrupt you.

“Ice cream,” he read your mind. “She wants ice cream. The big grocery store tubs.”

Dean didn’t wait for any objections. He whipped the Impala out of park, jerked back into your lane, and peeled away toward the nearest store. “Ice cream! Hell yeah. I could fuck up some cherry garcia right now. Sam? Could you fuck up some ice cream right now?”

“Me? Oh, big time,” he lied, catching your eyes in the rearview again. You’d maybe seen Sam eat ice cream twice in your entire life. Again, he was probably hiding that he was lactose intolerant.

You had only a sliver of fight left within you. “Boys…”

“Yes?” They chimed. In their own ways, their voices dared you to resist, but the combined power of both Winchesters was too strong to withstand.

You bit down your grin and fell silent.

A few minutes later, Dean pulled into a thirty-year-old mini-mart that looked it’s age. Of course, he parked the Impala as far from the other cars as possible, so the mile-long walk through freezing, finger-numbing winds put everyone in the mood for ice cold ice cream. The first euphoric rush of interior heating made you sigh out loud. When Sam and Dean had swiped the snow off their blazers, you made an attempt at leading them toward another toastier, cheaper snack.

“You want ice cream,” was all Sam said, shrugging, and scooped up a basket for the three of you to use.

Either you were predictable or he could read minds, because even with the snowy weather you were more than ready to fuck up some ice cream. Just thinking about it made your bandages feel less scratchy. Lounging on the couch and plowing through a tub was a privilege the road really didn’t allow, so you were pretty sure you hadn’t even had any ice cream since October. Since you’d actually lived in your apartment.

“How did you know?” You asked him, out of honest curiosity.

Sam gave you a mysterious smile instead of an answer, swiped some snow off your jacket, then tilted his head after Dean in an unspoken come on. His brother had already caught the scent of the frozen treats section, so you both hurried to catch up with him. You stole glimpses of Sam as you wove your way to the back of the store. He was a little taller than the aisles, and his loafers cleared the age-stained linoleum in half the time your heels did. For whatever reason this is when your heart decides to remind you how absolutely spellbound you are by him. He takes a turn around an endcap of Little Debbies to find Dean, and you float right after him, orbited by cartoon hearts.

Maybe that’s intentional on Sam’s part, since you forget all about money and budgets right up until you’re staring down the row of smudged freezer doors. Dean’s already hefting his tub of cherry garcia overhead when you approach, and after a lot of fake stadium-cheering and whooping, he free-throws it with a perfect swish into Sam’s basket. Then, he slides aside and unveils the mini-mart’s slim selection of ice creams to you. Unfortunately, you’ve been trained from birth to think Dean’s funny, so you bite down on your cheek-aching grin and take a look.

“I dunno…” you say, even though you’ve already come this far. The math is starting to stack in your head. One tub is fine, but one for each of you builds up, and that cuts into real food money and motel money and gas money and—

“How about this,” Sam interrupts your mounting anxiety, voice smooth and anticipatory. “Dean gets his and then you and I get one to share. Sound good?”

You thank him with a small smile, imagining the face he’d make if you yanked him down by the lapels and kissed him for knowing you so well. Sam was a great kisser.

“That’d be perfect.”

Instead of going for your favorite, you swipe the dairy-free cookies and cream.

Dean shoos Sam further down the aisle, and his brother props up the basket like a hoop and starts serpentining between the frozen pizzas, the two of them beaming like rowdy middle school boys. You turn your tub over in your hand and line up your shot. Dean’s taunting and pinching is ultimately fruitless—the victory grin is already comfortable on your face when your ice cream swishes flawlessly into Sam’s basket. Sam whoops.

“Not bad, Slayer,” Dean approves. He gives your shoulder a playful budge, and you budge him right back on the way to the registers.

With your bad mood successfully thawed, you’re easy to distract while Dean sneaks away to (hopefully) pay for your plunder. One minute you’re in line with them, and in the next Sam is coaxing you away to poke around the value movie bin, hypnotizing you with a few well-placed, dimply grins. You forget altogether that ice cream costs money. You’re only just remembering what money is when Dean reappears, shoving a receipt in his pocket and jabbing a thumb toward the bakery.

“Cashier lady said they got spoons over there,” Dean explained.

You paused. “Don’t we have, like, a gazillion in the car?”

“You mean the car with the heater that takes ten years to start?” Dean sassed back, which instantly dissolved into one of his cheesy, goading grins. He started to rifle through the grocery bag for his flavor, half-walking and half-wrestling with it. “We’ll eat in here. Don’t worry about it.”

Somehow, you didn’t worry about it. Dean cracked jokes about adult freedoms and whole sleeves of raw cookie dough, Sam rubbed his belly like just the thought made him nauseous, and you giggled at every little thing they did. You were still laughing when Sam parked you by one of the bakery’s vents, the two of you crowded close to get as much warm bread fog as possible. Dean went over and bartered for three plastic spoons. The whole time he stole glances at you loudly giggling with his brother, and patted himself on the back for his job well done.

Dean wiggled closer to you both to be under the warmth of the vent. Now equipped with a way to get this ice cream into your ice-cream-ready belly, you borrowed Sam’s pocket knife to shred the plastic seperating you from your treasure. There wasn’t really a contactless way to hold the tub between you both. While Dean ravaged his cherry garcia, you and Sam tried, and failed, to preserve your personal space, only to lazily gravitate closer to each other with the first glorious spoonfuls of cookie-dough. The first bite balmed your sore throat and your sensitive burns. It was sweeter than you were expecting for dairy-free ice cream, but the surprise was welcome.

Dean stabbed his spoon into his cherry garcia. Then, he gave you another welcome surprise. He dropped his hand in your hair, smoothing it back, and asked around a mouthful of cherry flavoring, “Good?”

You couldn’t help but beam. “Yeah. I’m good.”

NTSB EVIDENCE WAREHOUSE, PENNSYLVANIA - Dec. 3rd, midday.

The next step in your investigation, naturally, was to break into a government warehouse, slip past security undetected, and hopefully learn something useful from the wreckage without being caught. No amount of ice cream could make that easy, but you couldn’t let your anxiety get in the way. The heart attacks you had showing your fake badge to the security guards were nausea-inducing, but the overpowering psychic weight of a disaster this fatal was going to be a thousand times worse. You steeled yourself.

Before you’d been a hunter, you’d come from a long line of spiritualists and occultists who made death their livelihood. They communicated with the spirit world, they studied life after death, they made the passing of old souls easier. Even before your Gift opened up you’d had similar connections to death. Beth, eyes gleaming with pride, used to tell stories about you at four, talking to the darkness of the attic’s crawlspace like there was someone there. Dean got head to toe heebie-jeebies when you brought that up, but a connection to the other side at such a young age was a Proctor mark of pride. The first time you’d ever seen an apparition had been celebrated as a milestone of womanhood. Death was your older sister, so you shouldn’t have been afraid of her.

You’d sensed her just a few miles out from the warehouse. It was gentle at first, seeping into your ears like a shift in air pressure, then gradually filling up your other senses. But over two hundred real living people—people who loved and were loved like you loved Sam and Dean—had died in that crash, so in no time you were squeezing your eyes shut and plugging your nose in the backseat. You felt Death every day in small doses. In Sam, restlessly watching the ceiling of your rooms at night, in your motorcycle, in the graves you dug up and the homes you questioned civilians in. Your sister sat beside you in the back of the Impala every day.

But two hundred whole people. You dug the nails of your right fist into your palm until it burned, thinking, desperately, about ice cream.

The closer you came to the scene, the more overwhelming the sense of death became. You were almost swaying on your feet flashing your badge at the security desk, who, of course, have to remind everyone of how useless you are.

“FBI? Don’t you guys usually work in pairs?”

Sam gave a tight smile. “She’s our aircraft specialist, thank you.”

A security clerk from the main office drove you out to the right hangar on a golf cart. Dean laid his action movie smolder a bit thick on the guy, but he at least could’ve passed as a trainee. By comparison, Sam at twenty-two and you at twenty-four were round-faced babies, too young to play agents on TV, nevermind in real life. The two of you squished together on the back bench of the cart and sat ramrod straight the whole ride, refusing to turn around. The less people who could remember your faces, the better.

When the warehouse was unlocked and the three of you were inside, your sister struck.

There was so much death. Great mouthfuls, lungfuls, chestfuls of it in the air, diffusing through your nose every time you breathed. You gagged on the psychic taste of it until your eyes watered.

A smarter person would’ve stayed in the safe bubble between Sam and Dean, but you’re done being babied. You break ranks the first chance you get. While the boys take slow steps around the perimeter of the wreckage, you gravitate toward the split-open center of the fuselage. All that remains of the plane’s body are a few rows of seating, gutted curves of scrap, and long tangles of roasted wires. There was so little left that you had room to walk through the middle, down the same path the passengers had taken to board.

When the ringing in your ears was too loud to hear over and you felt like a massive fist had closed around your chest, you stopped. Reached out. Felt, beyond the veil, the mark of the thing that had done this. It hung over this warehouse like a funeral shroud, but you felt it first through its spider web, which kept the last impressions of over two-hundred different people tethered to this place by invisible strands. None of the people—the spirits from the crash had manifested yet, but every living thing left an impression of itself behind. A footprint.

You pulled at different strands of the spider’s web for a while, sorting through the last memories of those on the plane for something useful. It was just as terrible as you’d expect. Mothers held their children, husbands clutched their wives, everyone wailed and screamed. This many people should’ve made up a whole nebula of different feelings, but instead you sensed just one: absolute, incalculable terror. With every passing moment the fear pressed in closer, but you ignored it. You pushed yourself deeper. Max Jaffey gasped into his oxygen mask. The seat in front of him was empty, and he was looking at someone—you reached and reached—across the aisle, a man sobbed and pressed his girlfriend’s trembling hand into his heart—you were going to die you were all going to die—

You’re ripped out of the swarm of memories.

For the millionth fucking time, you come out of the vision on your ass with the boys hovering over you. You’re slow to remember where you are and what’s going on, but the shame is there waiting for you, like always.

“—okay, just breathe, you’re okay—” Sam is telling you, soft and unbelievably patient, considering the number of times he’s had to do this.

His heart is full-on pounding like it’s gonna punch right out of his chest, and you wonder why you know that until you glance down. He’s got your wrist fished in his hand, pressing your palm to flat to the crisp chest of his suit, and it’s just plain embarrassing at this point how much it pulls you back to earth. Your dignity wants you to rip yourself away from him, but, luckily, Dean does it for you. He pushes Sam back and kicks a box of wires neatly between you, just in time for his premonition to come true: your twisting stomach makes its move, and you promptly throw up into the box like a sick toddler in a ball pit. Dean could always tell.

“Touchdown,” he winces.

This is it. You’ve reached the final level of humiliation you can stand. No matter how hard you try, every pathetic dive you’ve made to be useful to the Winchesters has ended with your face in the mud. You can’t even wipe your face right. Sam ends up doing it for you with his sleeve, and sighs, out loud, just to add insult to injury: “Poor baby.”

PITTSBURG, PENNSYLVANIA - Dec. 3rd, evening.

Two hours later, you’re back in the motel, sitting criss-cross at the end of Dean’s bed and contemplating what color you’re going to dye your hair. You’ve already landed on what your new legal name will be—Elizabeth Ripley. Elizabeth as in Pride and Prejudice and Ripley as in Alien. Sam would appreciate a Jane Austen reference and Dean would appreciate anything Alien related, so everyone would be happy.

You’re not sure where this plan to change your name and face came from. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that, after you gracefully threw up everywhere and failed to learn anything new about the case, the real FBI showed up. Like. Real, gun-slinging, tie-wearing FBI agents. And they may or may not have chased you out of the warehouse. (Which you would’ve seen coming, by the way, if you hadn’t royally exhausted your powers). Just in case all that was enough—while you were off being useless, Sam and Dean got a potential sample from your mystery monster. An actual workable lead.

Fucking great.

The two of them are deciding what to do with you. If you were to look beyond the lens of your self-hatred for a moment, it’s more likely that the boys are worried about you and trying to figure this out. But you feel embarrassed and gross and unhelpful, so you strain to pick up every word you can and glare a new hole into the wall. They’re going to tell you to stay behind. Well that, at least, is something you can beat them to.

Ever since you were little, the three of you had a very special rhythm together. Sam was the mind and Dean was the heart and you were the subconscious. Each of you was important, and though you could work on your own, you were so, so much better as a system. With you sending out fucked-up signals, the two of them would be down a crucial piece.

Whatever. They’d probably function just fine without you on this one.

Of course, Dean sics his little peacekeeper on you. The door clicks open. You smear the last of your frustrated tears on your sleeve and talk before Sam can say anything: “Hey, is it okay if you guys take that sample to Jerry without me? It’d probably be good for us to get a leg up on research, and you guys don’t exactly need me there.”

Sam comes toward you, his voice extra soft and placating. Since, y’know, you’re a shitty timebomb that needs to be handled with kid gloves. “...Alright. That’s a good idea. That’d help out a lot.”

He says that specifically because he knows you feel unhelpful. He gives you those dewy, understanding Sam eyes and puts his big Sam hand on your shoulder, and all it does is piss you off. You hate how easily he can read you, and how much you want to listen to him. None of this should be such a big fucking deal. You’re twenty-four—you should have a handle on your Gift by now. Sam’s been back at this for, what? Two months? Nobody’s treating him like he can’t handle the pressure. He’s not being haunted by visions twenty-four-fucking-seven or dealing with stupid burns or—or being creeped on by random hunters! Or throwing up at crime scenes!

Your eyes start to burn. You glare harder at the wall, and force yourself not to take this out on him.

Sam’s hand goes to move off your shoulder, but something changes his mind and he keeps it there for another lingering moment. “Look at me a second.”

You force yourself to look at his face. As mad as you are, the boy-crazy teenage girl in your head gets one look at him and squeals into her pillow.

“Go easy on yourself,” he says, softer than before. “Really. Nobody’s built for this kind of thing.”

You want to scream. Me! I am! I’m built for this! But you’re not a teenager anymore, so you compose yourself, sigh, and tell him, “...I’ll try.”

Instead of getting up, Sam stares at you for a long beat. There’s something in his eyes you can’t describe, and his hand is still on your shoulder, tethering the two of you to each other. Your mental teenage girl is about to succumb to romantic psychosis when Sam’s greenish eyes find something else to look at, and he passes you something from his pocket.

He mutters something like feel better and gets up, leaving you with a shard of metal about as long as one of your fingers. He doesn’t explain what it is to you. He doesn’t tell you what to do with it. Because you’re a hunter, dammit, and Sam knows you can handle yourself. His warm, calloused palm slips off your shoulder and you get the impression that he was never using any kid gloves with you to begin with.

Sam leaves. You stare at the shard as the Impala slinks out of the parking lot. Just by touch, you know it’s a piece of flight 2485’s fuselage.

…You do as Sam asked, and go easy on yourself. After a shower, a little teeth-brushing, and a lot of mints, you’re feeling way less gross and a lot more like a hunter. The whole time you pour through research on your laptop, you rub the shard of flight 2485 between your fingers and sort through what this thing could be. Inhuman strength. Uses a vessel. Black eyes. Black smoke.

Nobody’s built for this kind of thing, Sam had said, and he’d been wrong. You’d been honing this Gift before you’d even known you’d had it. Most of your life had been spent learning every kind of divination under the sun, so there was no way this thing could hide from you.

You started easy, reading the shard through psychometry. The nauseous feeling rose up inside you again, and again, you heeded Sam’s warning and chose to push away from it. You tried numerology, which felt like a push in the right direction; 2458 wasn’t relevant, and though 7 survivors could mean something interesting (luck, the union of the physical and the spiritual, yadda yadda), your gut told you it was something else. The plane crashed 40 minutes in. Biblical numerology, maybe? Promising. But also potentially terrifying.

When your bone casting read felt flat and uninspired, you defaulted to the simplest method you could think of. Tarot.

The first time you’d seen an apparition, your mom had scooped you up into a massive hug and paraded you around the house, declaring to the spirits of the underworld that a new heavyweight champ had entered the ring. (This became a lot funnier the older you got). You were bought ice cream and root beer and told in a thousand ways, subtle and unsubtle, that this was a good thing. One of the ways Beth convinced you was with her childhood tarot deck, which she’d gifted you that day.

You turned the cards over in your hands, imbuing the worn-smooth texture of the paper with the feelings from your vision. The first card you pulled was done on nothing but pure instinct. And the second. By the third, you shuffled the deck as thoroughly as possible, but the answer was still the same every single time. You’d never pulled the same exact card three times. All at once, things pulled together—the overwhelming sense of evil, the human host, the numerology, the way it sucked up death like a goddamn sponge—no survivors, it’d said on the EVP. Holy shit.

You were dialing Dean’s number the second you set the card down. He answered on the second ring, and spoke at the exact same time as you—

“It’s a demon."

Underneath the illustration were two blemished words. The Devil.

tags: @samssluttybangs @cookiemumster1 @lacilou @cevans-winchester @leigh70 @seraphimluxe @emily-roberts @emme-looouou @aloneatpeace @williamstop @ornella0910 @chaoticshepardplaid @dakota-dream @lcvecstiel @goghkiss @spnexploration @stoneyggirl2 @urm0mmmbbg @mulattomoonn

NEXT PART: phantom traveler, p.3.

#uncouthspn #spn #supernatural #sam winchester #user uncouth #sam winchester fic recs #sam winchester imagine #sam winchester x you #sam winchester x reader #pythia #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural rewrite

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