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#because why the hell not
morgansplace · 2 months
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I need a 3 hour long audio of lasko just rambling about shit I don't understand
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anawrites3 · 9 months
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I couldn't stop thinking about @zeroducks-2's post where they said about Jason and Bruce that "They should be unable to coexist in the same room let alone speak" and idk I got inspired and this came into being
They're after some rough patrol and Dick managed to convince Jason to go with them to manor so he can take care of his injuries.
Dick was in the middle of wrapping Jason's hand when the door opened. Tim looked up from his book and Jason stiffened so slightly that if it weren't for the way Dick was holding his arm he wouldn't even notice it and really, that was all Dick needed to get who was standing at the door. He didn't stop wrapping Jason's hand, didn't even look up and after a few seconds Jason's muscles unclenched.
"Is there something you need, Bruce?" Dick hummed after few seconds when the man still didn't move from his place by the door.
Bruce cleared his throat. "No."
And then he walked inside. Dick's eyes flicked up to watch him as he moved further into the room. Even Tim put his book aside to stare at Bruce with a frown and his lips pressed into a line, as if he wanted to say something but didn't. Bruce didn't seem to notice all the looks he received, or maybe he just simply ignored them because he put a hand on an armrest of a chair and moved as if he wanted to sit down.
"Bruce."
Bruce froze at the tone. "Yes, Dick?"
Dick turned back to his little brother. Jason was looking down, eyes flashing slightly green, at his hand Dick was still holding and that hold was probably the only thing keeping him from storming out of the room and from the manor and running far away from this place.
Dick really couldn't blame him.
"If you don't need anything, then you can leave." He said.
Jason lifted his head sharply to look at him. The green faded from his eyes and Dick curled his lips into a soft smile, before finishing the wrapping and moving to cleaning up other, more minor cuts on Jason's arm.
"What?" Bruce asked, almost as if he was making sure he heard right.
"I said leave." Dick repeated patiently. "You don't need to be here, you said so yourself. We came to this room so we wouldn't have to be around you and yet you followed us here. Maybe you didn't know. I don't care. Leave."
He didn't have to look at Bruce to see the way his eyes narrowed just slightly.
"This is my home." He said and Dick needed a few seconds to breath so he wouldn't snap.
"Yes. It is." He said in a cold voice. "That's why you can choose whatever room you want to sit in. Not this one."
"Dick-"
"I swear to fucking god, Bruce-"
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toads-n-moss · 6 months
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[ no dl6 au ]
happy unnecessary feelings day!!!! in the au prosecutor phoenix has his own version of That Line, which is hilariously delivered during the beach episode parody case i'm planning, "washed-up turnabout".
[ID in alt text]
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foxykatie425 · 2 months
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Jedi: Fallen Order - The Musical (Act 1)
Wait, hear me out…
Alright look, I am fully aware that trying to turn Jedi: Fallen Order into a musical is a dumb idea. I am fully aware that Star Wars in general would probably not benefit from the musical treatment. And I am fully aware that even when people hear me out, there’s not a single human on this earth that really cares or has interest in this idea. And honestly, why should they? It’s not even like I have songs to offer, because despite my music degree, I am a really lousy songwriter!
However, all that being said, I really enjoy the problem-solving challenges that come with adapting a story for a very different medium than originally intended! And when I get my stupid ideas, I want to share them and get them outta my head! So while I have a captive audience, I’m gonna share some of my main ideas for Act 1 of Jedi: Fallen Order - The Musical! If anybody actually cares to read, please like this post, leave comments, reblog or whatever so I can find my drive to finish writing out my main ideas for Act 2! (And if you are not interested in reading 4500 words of my incoherent brainstorming, go ahead and keep scrolling. I will not be offended!)
Act 1
To start the show off, I think it would be somewhat poignant if, at the end of the overture, a single light comes up on Cal and he says the line “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…” before immediately transitioning into Bracca.
I imagine the introduction to the scrappers guild to be a Newsies style dance number, although perhaps not quite as happy.
The opening scenes on Bracca need to lay the foundations for the audience: who were the Jedi? What happened to them? And what is the current state of the galaxy? We have to assume, to an extent, that the audience has no background knowledge of Star Wars.
We also need to establish Cal’s current state of mind- fearful and alone. His only goal is to stay alive. He doesn’t trust anyone, but at the same time he does have friends that he cares about, such as Prauf.
Speaking of Prauf, odds are he’d be adapted into a human or humanoid character for this show. There’s nothing saying his character has to be an Abednedo, and it would be a lot of work to turn an actor into this alien character when said character is killed very early on. The actor would likely join the ensemble for the remainder of the show.
Let’s talk about Cere. Not much about her character would need to change, but without video game restraints confining us to Cal’s perspective, it becomes easier to flesh out Cere’s character arc a bit more. We can have the chance to see inside her head, and we can also have one or two scenes where she has the stage to herself.
Cere’s backstory can also be expanded on. Not only would I have her tell the story of how she tried to lure the imperials away from Trilla a bit earlier in the narrative, I would also have the scene play out onstage from Cere’s perspective so the audience actually gets to see young Trilla (and it foreshadows later when we get to see the exact same scene from Trilla’s perspective). There could also be two or three scenes throughout the first act where we get to see more flashbacks of Cere being a master. Perhaps as she gives advice to Cal, she reflects on times she had to give the exact same advice to Trilla (which could also have the added side effect of making Cal and Trilla interesting foils to each other).
Now Greez you could portray on stage a few different ways. I probably wouldn’t turn him into a humanoid character like with Prauf, because 1) he’s in the show for a lot longer, and 2) if all of your main characters are human it makes it difficult to portray the setting as “a galaxy far, far away.” For an alien species that’s meant to be so short in stature, you could potentially do him as a puppet, kind of like the way Olaf is done in Frozen the Broadway Musical, but I’d probably lean away from that because with a story as serious as this one, some strong emotions could get lost in translation. More likely, I’d try to cast an actor who is shorter in stature (most likely not quite Greez sized, but we just suspend our disbelief) and give him some prosthetic makeup and an extra set of arms that can be puppeted to mimic his real arms. (You might also be able to create his short stature by having the actor on his knees, like Lord Farquaad in Shrek the Musical, but again, you start to risk turning the character into a joke.)
As far as Greez’s character arc, it unfortunately comes off as a bit of an afterthought in the game (aside from the Haxion Brood level) but there is a bit that can be expanded on. He started off accepting Cere’s charter in an effort to pay off his debts, but he eventually comes to believe in her and in her quest. It’s not highlighted very much in JFO because a lot of that growth happened before Cal came into the picture. The most we get to see is his underlying dislike for Cal at the beginning grow into respect and eventually care. In a stage show, his arc would still have to be secondary to Cere’s and especially Cal’s arc, but he could definitely be played as a Han Solo-type character who took a job for money that slowly comes to mean more to him.
You can’t have a Jedi game, or a Jedi musical, without Cal’s best buddy BD-1. Now being a droid, and a very small droid at that, BD-1 would be puppeted onstage by an actor in a similar style to the characters in Avenue Q or Finding Nemo: The Musical. I tend to imagine BD-1 being played by a petite young woman (namely, a dancer) but nothing says it has to be. Since BD-1 doesn’t speak English (sorry, Basic!) it would be a silent role with BD’s beeps and trills being produced by a soundboard, probably controlled by someone in the booth rather than by the actor. However, the actor would bring life to BD-1 through their motions and facial expressions. And despite being a non-speaking and non-singing role, I do imagine BD-1 being front and center in every dance number!
The puppet for BD-1 would need to be lightweight and maneuverable. Due to the distance between the stage and the audience, it would probably need to be larger in scale than BD-1 is necessarily meant to be. It could feature some color changing lights that would likely be controlled by the actor. The entire puppet would be independently controlled by the actor rather than being attached to Cal’s back, however there could also be another version of the puppet that could be strapped to Cal’s back for scenes where BD-1’s absence wouldn’t make sense but a lack of contribution to the scene would make the presence of the actor onstage somewhat awkward (for example, some more personal scenes between Cal and Merrin).
Next character to discuss is Eno Cordova. He would likely have about the same level of involvement as he did in the game, although some bits of his instructions may be altered somewhat to make his quest a little less of a wild goose chase. (I mean let’s be real, he coulda just said “you need an Astrium to unlock the vault, there’s one on Dathomir, go get it.”) He would probably not be a singing role, but he would be portrayed by an actor on the stage, with the hologram effect being achieved by simply highlighting him with a blue spotlight.
Okay, now we get to the bulk of the story and our three main planets: Zeffo, Kashyyyk, and Dathomir. There’s a lot to talk about with these three locations, both individually and collectively, but let’s start with set design. For any show that features as many different locations as this one, you’d be best to have a unit set that doesn’t move that can function as all of those locations. I imagine this show having a large set with several different levels of platforms (it is a “platforming” video game after all) and the primary visual indication that we’ve changed locations would be different colored lights illuminating the cyclorama, the white backdrop at the back of the stage. Likely the choice of color for each planet would match the color of each planet on the holomap in the game (green for Kashyyyk, red for Dathomir, etc). There can also be props brought onto the stage that help indicate a change of setting, such as bringing out Greez’s pilot chair when we return to the Mantis.
As I hinted at before, Cordova in the game basically sends Cal out on a wild goose chase. Yes it’s meant to test him, but ultimately the only one of those three planets where Cal actually retrieves something tangible he needs to complete his quest is Dathomir. Now that works for a video game where there’s things for the player to do along the way, but for a passive audience who is watching rather than participating in the story, there needs to be a better reason for Cal to go to each planet. That’s not to say that Cordova should give him all of the answers, but perhaps there is something that Cal needs to retrieve from each tomb. Perhaps the Astrium comes in three different pieces. Yes, there are two tombs on Zeffo and none on Kashyyyk, but Cordova was here first after all. He wasn’t going to put back whatever pieces he found, but he also didn’t get all of them because he found another Astrium somewhere. Cal knows this because he found that Astrium destroyed in the vault. So he goes to Zeffo and through the Tomb of Eilram only to find that Cordova already took the piece that was there. BD plays the recording where Cordova talks about Tarfull and Kashyyyk, leading Cal to believe Cordova left the piece there and that Tarfull would know where to find it. He goes to Kashyyyk and fights alongside the Partisans, but he is unable to find the piece without Tarfull’s help, so he will have to return when the Partisans find him. Out of other leads, Cal remembers Cordova saying something about Dathomir, so he decides to search there. When he reaches the Tomb of Kujet, he finds that he needs the other two pieces of the Astrium to enter so he can retrieve the third. (Because in this context we can’t really use game mechanics like double jumping as a reason for why we can’t continue.) At the same time, Cere hears about Project Auger being restarted, and they return to Zeffo to search for the Tomb of Miktrull. Beyond this, the sequence of events would largely follow the remainder of the game.
Zeffo would probably be the hardest of the three planets to adapt to the stage because, with the exception of Cal’s confrontation with Trilla, not much really happens there. Much of your time on Zeffo in the game is spent traversing the land and solving puzzles in the tombs, all of which is less than exciting for a passive audience. Some kind of story beats would need to be added to Cal’s time on Zeffo (especially the first visit) that makes up for all the combat and platforming that doesn’t really translate to the stage. The story of JFO already has the slight inconvenience of being largely concentrated in the second half of the game, while in most musicals the first act tends to be longer. (And the game provides a perfect built-in spot for an intermission when Cal gets captured by the Brood, so I don’t really want to change that either.) There aren’t a lot of people for Cal to meet on Zeffo, so you could create a new character(s) and give them their own little subplot, but that runs the risk of creating one too many plot lines for the audience to follow as well as having little impact on the overall story. So more likely you would use that time to teach the audience about the Zeffo and have constant communication between Cal and Cere.
Believe it or not, at one point I considered cutting Kashyyyk entirely. But it’s important to show the early stages of rebellion against the Empire and have Cal get a taste of fighting back. Plus, the Partisans create an opportunity for a pretty fun dance number! However, I probably would cut out Saw Gerrera, simply because the more iconic the character is, the harder it is to translate them to the stage. (Obviously we’re gonna run into that same problem with Darth Vader, but we’ll discuss that when we get there.) Instead, I’d probably single out Mari Kosan as the leader of this group of Partisans, but mention that she is working under Saw. The great thing about Mari is that she’s so minor a character in the game that she can be a completely different character in an adaptation. You might even call her a completely new character with only her name being borrowed from a background character in the game. In this sense, we’d get to see the extremist side of the Partisans through her actions rather than Saw’s, but probably not until Cal returns to Kashyyyk in Act 2. (Also, if it proved necessary for the narrative, you could get away with killing off Mari, something you couldn’t do with Saw.)
I talked about iconic characters not translating well to the stage. Well, let’s talk about Wookiees and Stormtroopers. We certainly can’t go to Kashyyyk without seeing some Wookiees, but we’d want to keep their stage presence to a minimum. Creating their look in a live setting, while certainly possible, is not necessarily easy, and it quickly runs the risk of appearing fake to the point of being distracting, thus breaking the audience’s suspension of disbelief. Stormtroopers, on the other hand, would be a very easy, iconic look to recreate. Too easy, in fact. Despite the fact that they tend to be the butt of every Star Wars joke, the presence of Stormtroopers still needs to be felt as a threat, and that threat can be very quickly undermined if they are overused onstage. Not to mention, the moment you put Stormtroopers in a dance number, it becomes Star Wars Weekends at Disney World. So we’re gonna leave the dance numbers to the scrappers, the Partisans, and maybe the Dathomirians.
Speaking of Dathomir, we have to get there early. Obviously in the game you have the option to go there early on, but you don’t have a story reason to go there until much later. In the game, the crew returns to Zeffo right after they first visit Kashyyyk because Cere gets word of the Empire finding the other tomb. But in this case, let’s say she doesn’t hear about that until after Cal first visits Dathomir. We need to get to Dathomir early because 1) Merrin is far too important a character to be introduced in the second act, and 2) as previously mentioned, the second act is very story heavy and we need to shift some of that into the first act to make it slightly more balanced.
Finally it’s time to talk about Merrin! Her character in the first game was so underused and this adaptation offers the chance to expand on her story. (Although I need someone to hold me back a little, because she’s my favorite character but I need to be reminded that this is not her story. She cannot be a bigger character than Cal or Cere.) Introducing her earlier gives the audience more time to think of her as an antagonist, as they watch her repeatedly reject Cal’s attempts to reach out to her.
Let’s talk special effects, because Dathomir is where that really gets fun. Much of the appearance of Merrin’s magick can be achieved with the use of clever lighting and purposeful staging. Her ability to teleport can be mimicked by having her enter the stage in darkness and then using green lighting and perhaps some fog to illuminate her. Magick flames in her hands can be a combination of lighting and some classic magician props. (Disclaimer: Serious safety precautions would have to taken if we’re considering playing with actual fire though!) And the effects of her magick on her eyes and mouth can be achieved with black-light makeup that is invisible in regular lighting.
Now if there’s one person that tries to convince Cal that Merrin is a threat that can’t be reasoned with, it’s Malicos. As in the game, Cal would encounter this “wanderer” on the path to the Tomb of Kujet. He tells Cal that he was marooned on this planet when he came to study the Dathomirian culture, and that he has been hiding from the Nightsister, who he claims has repeatedly tried to kill him without hearing what he had to say (much like she tried to kill Cal upon their first encounter). Cal offers to help him escape the planet, but Malicos rejects this offer, stating that he has not yet completed his research on the planet (red flag # 1). Cal explains his mission, and Malicos explains that the ruins are surrounded by darkness and the magick of the Nightsisters. He tells Cal that Merrin will throw everything at him to keep him from entering the Tomb, and he tries to convince him that the only way to complete his quest is to kill her before she kills him (red flag # 2). But Cal, beginning to suspect he has ulterior motives, dismisses him and continues on to the Tomb. What Cal doesn’t know yet is that Malicos is also pulling the strings on Merrin’s side and actively trying to pit them against each other in the hopes of solidifying his control over whoever came out on top, as well as to keep them from uniting against him, which he knows would likely happen if his lies to Merrin about the massacre were exposed.
I debated a bit whether I should try to work in the romance between Cal and Merrin. Putting them together in Fallen Order definitely runs the risk of coming off rushed, and the way it was handled in Jedi: Survivor was perfect and probably could not be outdone. However, musicals don’t tend to get sequels (unless it’s Love Never Dies) and especially if we’re expanding on Merrin’s character, you can’t really write her and Cal together without there being sexual tension, and the audience will want to see that resolved, so I guess we’re going for it! (And besides, it’s my musical and I want to!) However, I still want Merrin to be an antagonist for most of the story, and prior to fighting Malicos I don’t want slip into the overused tropes of “he saved her life” or “they had to work together to survive.” The dynamic I’ve come up with instead bears a slight resemblance to Rey and Kylo Ren (cuz let’s be honest, Merrical is everything Reylo wishes it was!). Their first encounter is basically the same as the game, where she tells him to leave and sends the Nightbrothers after him. Take note that when I envision this scene, I have Merrin standing above Cal on one of the higher levels of the set (she had the high ground!). However, I’ve created a new scene between them in Act 1 while Cal is making his way back to the Mantis to return to Zeffo. He stumbles upon her praying to her fallen sisters for guidance, having taken off her hood and cloak. (Metaphorically, it’s almost like he catches her indecent.) Caught off guard and scared, Merrin prepares to defend herself, but Cal shows her that he has no intention of fighting her right now, and Merrin, knowing she wouldn’t win any fight she started in this moment, stands down. This scene gives an interesting visual representation of the power dynamics between the two of them, because where she stood high above him in her first scene, they now stand on the same level, which is made even more interesting if the actor playing Cal happens to be taller than her. Cal explains that he is leaving, but will return, and Merrin proclaims that she will be ready to face him when he does. He tells her about his mission and informs her that the Jedi have been wiped out, but importantly it never comes out that she believes the Jedi killed her family. They sing a counterpoint duet detailing their differing points of view, with Merrin stubbornly refusing to believe Cal’s Jedi “lies.” (This is actually the only song I’ve named: “Fool Me Once.” Fill in the rest of the saying.) By the time the scene ends, the audience should not yet be thinking that Merrin will eventually become Cal’s ally. However, the scene would definitely include noticeable sexual tension during their argument, mostly being in each other’s personal space for a hair too long and some extended eye contact.
Now that I’ve beaten that scene into the ground, let’s go back to Zeffo. Cal explores the Tomb of Miktrull and finally finds the first of the three pieces of the Astrium before encountering (hang onto your hats) the Second Sister, aka Trilla Suduri, Cere’s former Padawan! (Dun dun duuunnnn!!) Nothing super noteworthy changes in this section of the story except that Cal doesn’t encounter Trilla until after he explores the Tomb.
Remember those flashback scenes I was talking about with Cere and Trilla? This is what they’ve been leading up to. In the game, when Trilla takes her helmet off, the only reason we know who she is, is… well, she says so. However, if we see flashbacks of Trilla earlier in the show, now the audience recognizes the face under the mask. Now I know what you’re thinking: “won’t the voice give it away?” Not necessarily, if you’ve got a good enough actress. For all intents and purposes, Trilla and the Second Sister, much like Anakin and Darth Vader, are two different characters and should be treated by an actor as such. A good actress could make her tone and delivery so different between the two characters that first-time viewers wouldn’t put them together (as long as the playbill doesn’t give it away). But even if the audience does figure it out, I don’t think the fact that Trilla became an inquisitor is the biggest revelation in this scene. Because let’s be honest with ourselves, in terms of Star Wars plot twists, that one was a little predictable. But no, the bigger revelations are that Cere betrayed Trilla by giving up her location, she used the dark side in the aftermath, and perhaps most damningly, she has been keeping secrets from Cal.
Alright let’s talk stage combat. For this fight in particular, much like the game, it would get cut short and end up being more talking than fighting. But in general, stage combat tends to be more dance-like movements than martial arts. We’re not going for prequel-style lightsaber duels here. Plus, on stage, you only get one take, so you can’t exactly afford for anyone to get hurt halfway through. We’ll talk a little bit more about lightsaber effects later, but suffice to say, the stage combat, while important, comes second to the emotions surrounding the scene.
So BD-1 cuts the fight short by activating a laser gate between Cal and Trilla. Trilla reveals her past and sings about how you can never trust anyone before leaving. Now on stage alone, Cal finishes out the song by briefly lamenting why Cere didn’t tell him the truth. He hears another disturbance just offstage and prepares to defend himself before being hit by a stun grenade and knocked out by an unknown bounty hunter. Blackout.
End Act 1
So those are my notes on Act 1 of Jedi: Fallen Order - The Musical. I’ll be posting my Act 2 notes in the near future, but before I go, I want to quickly discuss the vocal ranges of each of the characters.
- Cal: Being a classic male hero, Cal would almost certainly have to be a pretty high tenor. However, he shouldn’t be like a squeaky tenor, for lack of a better phrase; his tone should be more round and even. (I’m just gonna say it- Cal probably shouldn’t have gay voice! I’m sorry, I don’t mean that in an offensive way, I just don’t have a better way of describing what I mean!)
- Cere: She would definitely be a low alto. (If we’re talking Broadway, I’m picturing Heather Headley or someone similar.) Not only would that be a good match for Debra Wilson’s voice in the game, but a lower singing voice is often used to portray age. It helps give the audience the impression that she is older and wiser than Cal.
- Greez: He’s a little tricky, but I’d probably put him somewhere in the mid-range, maybe a high-end baritone. I’m not locked into that though, I could also possibly imagine him as more of a low tenor.
- Merrin: Okay some people are gonna disagree with me here, but I would not make Merrin an alto. She can’t have the same range as Cere. That’s not to say I think she should have a super high singing voice, more like low mezzo soprano. But her voice should be powerful; I’m thinking like an Idina Menzel-style belter. (I mean, she is a witch, after all!)
- Trilla: Lemme start by saying that Trilla would not sing with her helmet on, so her first song probably wouldn’t be until the Act 1 finale. I imagine her having a very similar range to Merrin, with perhaps a slightly darker tone.
- Ninth Sister: We’ll talk about her more in Act 2, but she would definitely be a very low alto. She’s a big character, and generally the bigger the instrument, the lower the pitch. She also leans very heavy on the melodrama.
- Malicos: Now odds are he wouldn’t sing until Act 2, but he would definitely be a low baritone, if not a bass. I’ve been comparing him to Claude Frollo from Hunchback, both in terms of his character and his voice. So I would definitely imagine his voice sounding a bit aged, although the actor would also need to be able to do at least a small amount of stage combat, so he might have to be slightly younger than we might imagine the character.
- Sorc Tormo: Speaking of Hunchback, here we’ve got our Clopin Trouillefou. Eccentric and dramatic, Sorc Tormo would be the one to have that squeaky tenor voice that I didn’t want for Cal. (Now HE can have gay voice!)
- Jaro Tapal: I’ll throw him in because I haven’t decided whether or not he would sing, but if he does, he would most definitely be a bass.
One other note about casting: I am in my mind imagining the characters being played by actors who look similar to the actors in the game, with Cal, Greez, and Merrin all being white, and Cere and Trilla being people of color. However, the beautiful thing about a story like this is that there is absolutely no reason that you couldn’t colorblind cast every single one of the characters.
But I think I’ve rambled on enough for now. If anyone is actually still reading up to this point, thank you for indulging me! You are my favorite! Please share your thoughts and ideas in the comments, because I have no one to discuss this topic with and it would make me really happy… 🥺🫶
Act 2 coming soon!!
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de-nyx · 2 months
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Hesitancy.
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justanotherdrfan · 2 months
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Ladies and gentlemen the last instalment of DTS BREAKDOWN!
Spoiler below, open as you will!
S6E10 (Red or Black) 🔴⚫️♥️♠️♦️♣️
Charles in the snow (he is the snow angel)
HOLY SHIT CARLOS 🥵
They are quite literally fire and ice at Ferrari
It’s Mercedes vs Ferrari (but let’s use the Red Bull car for the pitstop intro because remembers it’s always RED BULL)
GUENTHERR ♥️
Red Bull have the best driver content
Look Danica I know, we know your full of shit when you say ‘there is so much put into the race’ (yeah just not in the drain covers to keep them screwed down)
Ohh you came to Vegas before with your bestfriends did you Charles? ( I do recall you went with Daniel so he’s a bestie then) 👬
Not Christian giving Daniel shit about leading a race for once
Daniel mentions Vegas and you can see him look off recalling the time with Charles in his memory (fortunately or unfortunately Charles can’t recall his time there 😂)
Not Lando and Pierre talking about Charles losing on the tables 😂
MAXIEL ❤️💙
FRED’S BACKKKK
They are Fred who that think is the most vain team principle (Fred doesn’t even get to ask before DTS is already faded the scene and in comes Toto) like clearly you know the answer
Oh look practice 1 has arrived (cue drain fucking shit up)
IT’S MAXX THEY FINALLY INTERVIEWED MAX (like it’s not like he dominated the season)
SHIT THAT DRAIN REALLY COULD HAVE DONE PERMANENT DAMAGE
There is no waiver. (Hold the fuck up let me put my non-existent glasses on and get real. If a car gets damaged due to a track issue (aka drain cover) F1 should cover the teams cost and all replacement parts should not be taken from team allocations set for the year. And no penalties should be applied. It’s quite simple. It’s not bad luck. It’s F1 and the circuit providers duty to have a safe, functioning and up to date track. Full stop.)
Cue press conference dialogue:
Tom Clarkson: ‘Well, let’s look bigger picture because….’(Enter Fred smack down time).
Fred: ‘But this one is a good one. I don’t need to have a bigger picture than this one.’ Tom: Okay. But, Fred, I did want to ask you about this event, if we can just talk about the Las Vegas Grand Prix.’ Fred: ‘Yeah, guys, but I [chuckles] I’m not sure this is the topic for me today. Not, uhh…We had a very tough FP1. This will cost us a fortune. With a fucked-up decision for Carlos. But we have to change the chassis, half of the car, or two-thirds of the car. Okay, the show is the show and everything is going well, but, uh I think it’s just unacceptable from the F1 today.’
Tom: ‘Okay, well, this is the last..’
Toto: ‘Fred is upset.’
Fred: ‘I am, Toto, but you would be upset in my situation.’
Tom: ‘ Fred, let’s look at 2024 as a whole, okay? Your first year as team principal of ferrari.’ (Mate will you fucking quit hounding Fred)
Toto: ‘Your putting yourself into more trouble. No, I can tell you. I’ve known him for 20 years. He has…’
Tom: ‘Fred, can we just…’
Fred: ‘Can I leave now or..’
Tom: ‘Can we reflect on the year?’
Fred: ‘No.Ask a question to Toto about something.’
Tom: ‘All right. Well, look, we’ll come back to you, Fred. We’ll come back to you. (NO YOU WILL NOT TOM, NO YOU WILL FUCKING NOT)
Fred: ‘Sure.’ (It’s giving very fuck around and find out mentality)
End press conference.
Also bat of king Fred don’t take shit from no one. I’m glad I wrote my opinion before I got to this part and Fred sounded off in the press conference.
THEY PUT CHARLES POLE POSITION ON THE DOME (I fucking forgot about the bloody thing) 😂
Look George I understand your good but Charles is the qualifying king
Toto chatting shit about naysayers to some lady (probably on some Las Vegas council or something). Mate you spend most of your time being the naysayer for everything or do you not remember the porpoising drama?
Will Charles convert pole to win (we all know the your ratio) but you do a hell of a job of damage limitation 👏🏽
Abu Dhabi grid school photo time
Ohh look Daniel flirting with Charles in front of Max (he’s such a attention baby girl) 😂❤️💙
Lawerence stroll looking like bad Santa
George why are so dramatic?
McLaren fuck up Lando’s pitstop (cue me clacking)
Not all the teams congratulating their drivers on the year and where the team sits in the constructor
Cue Hass at the bottom and bottom
Ferrari being a killjoy and won’t let Charles do burnouts (he just wants to go play with his bestie Max) 🥺
Ohh Charles you deserve better your too pretty not to
Lawerence was that you wheeling and dealing with James?
Here we go Max’s wrap sheet for the year! (Yes boy you one the whole damn thing on your own. No teammate needed!)
Ohh his last ‘Hi Gene.’
And they left his seat empty to end🥺
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ani-talwar · 1 year
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Lines that made me laugh II:
“Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men,”
Good Omens, by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.
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illiana-mystery · 5 months
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Since it's Sunday, I thought might as well bring Christ back.
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mariatvarts · 9 months
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Just wolfwood doing mischievous things 😏
Side note: literally made this the day after seeing a TikTok by a guy named cocobred.
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purlturtle · 21 days
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Romance Tropes Bracket
(blatantly stolen from @performativezippers elsewhere on the webs - thank you!)
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(yeah, I put all this in Excel, and made a screenshot of that. Here are the close-ups of this beauty:)
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And no, this isn't gonna be a bracket that y'all can vote on; this is gonna be my personal bracket (though if you want to, you can download the screenshots and do your own, or you can click this link to get the spreadsheet :D)
Or you can tell me what your picks would be!
ID under the readmore!
First image is a screenshot of a tournament bracket spreadsheet. It consists of four quadrants, with eight contestants each: all of them are common romance tropes. Each quadrant has a different color in which the contestants are highlighted.
Images 2 - 5 are screenshots of each quadrant.
Image 2: Upper left: blue color. Contestants, top to bottom:
Bodyguard vs Love Triangle
Workplace vs High School
Second Chances vs. Made A Bet (90s style)
Sibling's Best Friend vs Nanny/Governess
Image 3: Upper right: yellow color. Contestants, top to bottom:
Mistaken Identity vs Age Gap
Love Potion/Aphrodisiac vs Only One Bed
Amnesia vs Kissing Lessons
Forced Proximity (road trip etc.) vs Secretly a celeb/royal
Image 4: Lower left: red color. Contestants, top to bottom:
Grumpy/Sunshine vs Someone Else's SO
Accidental Pregnancy vs Just To Get It Out Of Our Systems
Family Feud (Romeo&Juliet style) vs Holiday Romance
Billionaire vs Soulmates
Image 5: Lower right: green color. Contestants, top to bottom:
Marriage of Convenience vs Fake Dating
Snowed In vs Friends To Lovers
Bad Boy/Girl vs Sworn Off Love
Supernatural (vampires etc.) vs Enemies To Lovers
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ramblingoak · 2 months
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i have a hard time with slow burn but the cardinal’s bride is an absolute masterpiece and i can’t believe how hooked i was from the start!!! you’re doing so great i had to come and tell you. bravo bravo bravo
Oh anon thank you so much 😭. Trust me I had a hard time with it too though XD. I’m so happy you gave it a chance!
The one year anniversary of when I started posting The Cardinal’s Bride is actually on the 6th! I was just talking (crying) to a few friends about it earlier today.
Thank you again anon! Your message gave me a much needed boost to think about Cowboy Copia and his Ghouls again. There is still a lot of story left 💙💙
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firstkanaphans · 10 months
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Is it too soon to ask for a little preview of the soulmate au? I am so excited for it i will go feral when you post
It's perfect timing, actually, because I just finished the first chapter today! Honestly, this whole fic could probably be a oneshot, but then y'all would have to wait a few more weeks before it was finished and I don't think either of us want that. So, I've decided to post it in installments instead. If I can get it edited in time, the first chapter should be out Saturday. Here's a short preview:
Akk was usually very good at keeping his emotions in check—especially at school—but the boy in front of him looked wild in a way Suppalo students rarely did. His uniform shirt was half-unbuttoned as if to ward off the morning heat, he was wearing jewelry, and although he was shorter than Akk, he held himself taller. There was a confidence about him that Akk didn’t have a hope of replicating. He was too inexperienced in love to know whether he had a type, but if he did, he thought this boy might be it. 
It was an unexpected drizzle after literal years of drought and although Akk should probably be grateful for his sudden interest in an attractive stranger, he didn't know how to react. So instead he defaulted to his factory setting: school prefect.
“You’re not in uniform,” he said, gesturing to the boy's contraband jacket. Immediately, he felt his cheeks heat as if even his body knew how incredibly ill-timed that comment was.
The boy raised an eyebrow, amused, and then raked his gaze down Akk’s body as if sizing him up. Then he looked behind him to where the three Jums were still protesting on the lawn. “They’re not in uniform,” he pointed out.
“That's because they’re protesting the uniform,” Akk explained.
“Then so am I.”
Akk really should have seen that coming. “You’re going to get written up,” he sighed. It wasn’t a threat. It was a fact. He was trying to help, for god’s sake. 
“Then write me up, prefect,” the boy said with a smirk Akk might have thought was flirtatious if it had been directed at anyone but him.
His patience finally snapped. It was one thing to pick a fight on the first day of school, but it was another to make fun of him when he was only trying to do his job. “I’m trying to be nice, asshole,” he snapped so violently that it made the boy jump. He didn’t seem bothered by the volume, though. In fact, his eyes shone with mirth as if he found the outburst amusing. It made Akk madder. “You don’t have to get an attitude with me, okay? Can you please just—”
He broke off with a sharp intake of breath when he felt a pair of lips press against his, only he hadn’t moved and the boy in front of him hadn’t either. Which meant that the kiss wasn’t real. It was only a fantasy.
But that was impossible. It had been so incredibly long…
As he stood there in a stupor, the kiss became more heated, more desperate—a kiss that, if it were real, would have bruised. But then, just as quick as it had come, the phantom lips disappeared, becoming again what they actually were: a figment of his—or, well, someone else’s—imagination. 
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captain-sitch · 2 years
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There's something utterly profound about staring into the eyes of the person beside you as the universe literally collapses around you both
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thescrapwitch · 3 months
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Chapters: 1/4 Fandom: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Maglor | Makalaurë & Lindir, Daeron & Maglor | Makalaurë, Daeron & Lindir Characters: Maglor (Tolkien), Daeron (Tolkien), Lindir (Tolkien) Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Modern Era, AU of an AU, Maglor Is A Cryptid, Daeron is also a Cryptid, eldritch horror Series: Part 13 of Maglor is an Eldritch Horror Summary:
Something haunts the ruins of Imladris, and Daeron’s fairly certain he knows exactly who. It ends up becoming much more than he ever could have expected.
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vantachat · 1 year
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Quick sketch of Dream because I have my electricity back🥰
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108garys · 5 months
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I recently asked out of curiosity, "boyfriends for Hector?" and the responses I got were
Dar, travis, Mike and like I don't know what I expected but not this lol
That being said I'd again like to ask weird questions for presumably weird answers so, Manny Sherman and who? (excluding Hector and Charlie because it's been done and Anthony Clarke because I don't want to)
Whoever across the supermassiverse, shock me and I'll keep asking about arbitrary characters for funsies lol
No HHH or other real people tho
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