#beelzebub texts

[uselessalexis165]

if i had a nickel for every time a royal has a partner that is either scarred or disabled, i’d have four nickels

which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened four times now

#i know stolas and blitzo aren’t a thing yet #but just go with it for the post #my text #helluva boss #hazbin hotel #stolas goetia #blitzo #stolitz #beelzebub #vortex #asmodeus #fizzarolli #fizzmodeus #fizzarozzie #vaggie #charlie morningstar #chaggie

[zephyrchama]

Obey Me! brothers and an MC with long hair...

---

It drives Lucifer crazy. He's constantly asking you to clean the shower drain and nagging at you to either pull it back while studying or cut it short. His tune changes at night, when there's a chance to unwind with his favorite record. One hand cups a glass of Demonus while the other idly runs through your hair. He'll brush his fingers through it to the tune of his music. He'll grab a fistful of it and let his imagination run wild. The next morning he's back to complaining about the drain again and dropping a scrunchie on your head.

---

It's such a distraction for Mammon. He'll drape your hair across his shoulders like a scarf or hold it up to his lips like a fake mustache to make you laugh. He'll bury his face in it to escape from the world when his brothers find a new reason to be mad at him. He'll tug on it if he feels you're not paying enough attention to him. Mammon enjoys wrapping your hair around his fingers and rings. He's very possessive over it. He has a habit of sticking stuff in it like a mischievous little boy, but instead of gum he'll plant flowers and leaves in your hair, then kick back and watch as you dig out a mirror to see what he's stuck on your head this time.

---

Leviathan has a hoard of anime-themed hair accessories that don't suit him. He only bought them for collection purposes, but now that you're around he's always looking for an excuse for you to wear one. It's too adorable. He's mesmerized over the way your hair bounces and sways in pigtails, versus how elegant you can look when a high bun exposes your neck. He wants photos of them all. If you sit in front of him, Leviathan will comb his dexterous fingers through your hair and ask to style it. He enjoys the smell of your shampoo lingering on his hand and on the accessories he lends you.

---

Satan idly plays with your hair while he reads or spaces out. Most of the time he doesn't realize he's doing it. It does irk him when he finds a stray hair in the pages of his book, or on his clothes, but he doesn't vocalize it like Lucifer does. He'll take matters into his own hands. You'll find Satan randomly tying up your hair without warning, then look all smug admiring his own handiwork. The elastic hair ties he keeps in his pocket for you double as toys for any playful stray he spots on the street. If you have a hair out of place then Satan will tuck it back for you, slowly smoothing it out while making intense eye contact.

---

You never knew how many hairstyles existed until you met Asmodeus. He frequently asks to try out new ideas and products with your hair. He comes to brush it when he wants to vent. Spa days are his way of bonding, wherein he'll wrap your long hair up in a towel and wrap his arms around you while it dries. Asmodeus is addicted to the feeling of it, freshly combed, falling across his skin. He uses your hair as an excuse to touch you and will match your shampoo scents with his. You have to admit the feel of his nails against your scalp is incredibly relaxing, and his intuition for fashion is never wrong. He loves watching you admire his work in the mirror while singing his praises.

---

It worries Beelzebub. He worries your hair will get stuck on something, as he's had to help you untangle it from a hook more than once. He worries someone will use it to hurt you, as he's seen Mammon pull it to tease you. He worries it will get in the food, since he's choked on a long strand before. Whenever you're in the kitchen, asking Beel to tie your hair back is a good way to distract him until the food is done, as long as you don't use a fruit-scented shampoo. When you do, it's fun to have him guess what fruit you smell like and compare it to the real thing. Beelzebub is always conscious of your safety and won't hesitate to put a protective hand on the back of your head if you're walking past a low tree branch or leaning over a pot of oil. He's trying to learn to braid for you.

---

Belphegor finds it annoying to wake up with a mouthful of your long hair. It's pretty, but he hates getting his hands tangled in it while he naps, or finding strands of it on his sheets. If it didn't smell so good he'd have already cut it for you. His solution is to buy you soft hooded pajamas. He thinks it's cute to button a big plush hood (think of kigurumi) around your head and tuck the hair inside it. Sometimes he gets really ugly ones because they're funny. Then he has no problem using your head as his personal headrest. He likes rubbing your head because of the expressions you make. The only downside to these hoods is that he can't enjoy your messy bedhead, so he makes sure to take them off for you, too.

#i didn't proofread this i hope it doesn't suck. i'm gonna go brush my hair now. #also there's no yellow text now? i had to find an html generator for yellow dashes. where did the yellow text option go. #obey me #obey me! #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanon #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me x mc #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me scenarios #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me x reader

[the-boy-king-aesthetics]

#the-boy-king-rp #text post #good omens #crowley #anthony j crowley #aziraphale #lord beelzebub #archangel gabriel #ineffable bureaucracy #ineffable husbands #good omens season 2

[varyathevillain]

gonna keep thinking about how Gabriel went back to straightening out his posture and a certain booming and superior tone to his voice when he got his memories back... until he looked at Beelzebub. and then he crossed hands over his chest, breathed out, music kicked in... and it's as if a weight fell off him: his whole body became looser and less rigid, his voice turned oh so soft, even his face shown the way we only saw from Amnesiac!Gabriel - open and happy and in love with the world. in this case, his whole world. absolutely fantastic acting from Jon Hamm to convey just how much Gabriel's love for Beelzebub meant to him, how it breaks his shell of official pompousness immediately.

#the system breaks everyone and we need to destroy it and kill Gd right? #Good Omens Season 2 #GO S2 #Good Omens Season 2 spoilers #Good Omens #GO Gabriel #obviously both Gabriel and Beelzebub need to recognise how *they* fucked Aziraphale and Crowley up #and apologise for the behaviour in like. a proper way not expecting forgiveness #but they're in a honeymoon phase i don't think we're prying them off each other for until season 3 for a proper conversation #text post #Varya rambles #Jon Hamm #ineffable bureaucracy #1k #2k

[devildom-moss]

Service Demons (and Angel)

[MC puts harnesses on Beelzebub, Diavolo, Barbatos, and Simeon]

Lucifer: . . .what in the Devildom are you doing??

MC: Read the harness.

Asmodeus: “Service Top.” Ooh, MC, how naughty of you~

Lucifer: I can read. Let me rephrase that: "why are you doing this?"

Satan: I believe MC is attempting to make a reference to human world service pets.

Lucifer: Are you calling them your pets, MC? Seriously?

Simeon: Hahaha, oh Lucifer, don’t tell me you’re jealous.

Lucifer: Of course not, but isn’t that degrading?

Beelzebub: I have a pact with them, so it’s kind of accurate.

Diavolo: I don’t mind, either. I find it entertaining. At the very least, it’s a bold statement. I don’t mind being treated like MC’s pet once in a while.

Barbatos: It’s a charming little joke, and I can’t say I mind that my skills are being acknowledged.

Simeon: See? It’s all in good fun, Lucifer.

Lucifer: *sighs* Well, why are Barbatos and Simeon the only two wearing red harnesses?

MC: Oh, that’s simple: those two are certified.

Leviathan: LOL! What does that even mean?

Mammon: Man, I don’t even wanna think about it.

Asmodeus: Oh, I could have guessed Barbatos and Simeon would be such generous lovers.

Barbatos: While true, I’m afraid that isn’t what MC means.

Simeon: Rather, both of us are more qualified for all encompassing care and services - including some medical training.

Asmodeus: That’s actually hotter.

MC: It sure is.

Lucifer: Suddenly, I have a headache.

#gn!mc #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #diavolo #barbatos #simeon #obey me chat text #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #Lucifer is just jealous that he's not deemed a service pet

[thedevilspearl]

texting you after an argument — all brothers

#♡ pearl’s ddd #obey me x reader #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me lucifer #lucifer x reader #obey me mammon #mammon x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me levi #obey me asmo x reader #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel x reader #obey me belphegor #belphegor x reader #obey me texts #obey me headcanons

[he-calls-me-kitten]

Horny texts/memes you can expect from your favourite Obey Me! boys~

Lucifer:

Mammon:

Leviathan:

Satan:

Asmodeus:

Beelzebub:

Belphie, Diavolo:

Barbatos:

Simeon:

(he didn't mean to send this to you oopsie~)

Solomon:

#obey me #obey me smut #obey me solomon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me beelzebub #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me simeon #obey me Barbatos #obey me crack #obey me texts

[daytaker]

The Demon Brothers React to Watching a Horror Movie with You

CW: discussion of gore (Satan)

I didn’t include the dateables in this one but if people want that, y’know…let me know.

Lucifer

"You frighten yourself... intentionally? Interesting."

He fails to see the appeal, quite frankly.

Not only does he not find them scary, he doesn't understand why you watch them if you do.

He's too used to playing the babysitter to take you grabbing his hand as an excuse for physical contact. He interprets it as you tapping out, so he'll pause the movie and give you an out.

Of course, if you insist on finishing the movie regardless, that's an interesting choice in and of itself.

What an opportunity to observe a tortured human psyche at work.

If you insist on holding hands at this point, he won't fight it. He is a bit more dubious than before, though. Are you really doing this because you're scared? You wouldn't happen to have any ulterior motives, would you?

He will gladly reassure you after the movie is over that you are always welcome to come to him for comfort if you're afraid in the middle of the night. You know where his room is.

Mammon

"Just so we’re clear, I ain’t afraid of no horror movies. Not even a little! Not even a teensy-tiny bit, all right? Like, seriously."

He's lying.

This isn't even headcanon stuff, this is just common knowledge.

Also common knowledge: he will insist on proving how cool and brave he is by watching a horror movie with you and protecting you from the monsters and gore onscrEEAAAUUUUGH???!!!

He wasn't scared, he was just startled.

And he's only up here on the lights fixture because he remembered one bulb was flickering earlier. There. He fixed it. He's just being responsible.

Anyway, if you're nervous and want to hold his hand, he understands. Humans are fragile as hell.

In fact, you don't need to stop at hand-holding. You can just hug hiMYEEAAGH!!!!

He's hugging you instead. He's being a good demon and taking care of his human.

Yes, he's in your lap. He thought you'd feel more secure that way.

Stop laughing!

Leviathan

"So I read that the film set for this movie was cursed by a mangaka who never got credit as an influence for the story..."

Time for some J-horror, obviously.

He read up extensively on the production before asking you to watch it with him. He figures he'll be less terrified if he has plenty of background knowledge about the film as an artistic piece to remind him that the happenings onscreen aren't real.

Instead he found a bunch of rumors about how the movie was cursed. But he'd already poured so much of his valuable time into researching it. Sunk cost fallacy: activated! You're watching this damn movie.

He's scared. He's so embarrassed to be this scared but he's scared.

When he's by himself, he doesn't mind that he spooks easily. He likes it. That's the fun of horror games and movies.

But with you here, he feels the pressure to be your emotional rock during the harrowing film-viewing process.

You can hold his hand. You know, if you want to. He gets it if that idea grosses you out, but he did wash his hands right before you got here, so...

If he gets too scared, the demon form comes out, and suddenly you have a scaly tail wrapped around your waist and webbed fingers clutching you.

He's sorry, it's just... It just happens sometimes, okay? Laugh it up, normie!

Actually, it feels kind of nice when you stroke his scales like that. If you really want to, you don't have to stop.

He is no longer watching the movie.

Satan

"This is an extremely unrealistic depiction of decapitation with a hacksaw."

There is nothing less scary than watching a horror movie with Satan, because his smart ass can't stop telling you about everything wrong with it.

The movie is starting. Are you nervous? He'll hold your hand. He has enough basic sense to at least get that part of the process right.

...That's not even close to how it looks when you disembowel a deer.

There's a lot more blood spatter than you'd expect when head wounds are involved. Apparently the special effects crew on this movie didn't do their due diligence.

Hmm, that's actually a pretty convincing amputation scene. Credit where credit is due.

Sorry, but he thinks that calling this one a "psychological thriller" is giving it a little too much credit.

Asmodeus

"Nooo! Ahhh, I can't take it, it's so scaryyy!"

He's not scared. Not even a little.

He's not even grossed out.

But he thinks that seeming terrified is cuter than seeming mildly amused and a little bored.

So before you start watching, he makes sure to lay down some ground rules.

If he's scared, he gets to hold your hand. If you're scared, you get to hold his hand.

If he's scared, he gets to hug you. If you're scared, you get to hug him.

If nothing scary is happening for more than five minutes, he's allowed to request a kiss. Just to keep you both from getting bored.

Why are sex scenes in slashers so awful? Even before the stabbing starts. They're just so... blah. It's disappointing every time.

Ahhh! There's the killer! He's so scared! He's going to hide his face in your neck and cling to you for dear life!

Beelzebub

"What's wrong? Why do you look so sick?"

Bro will eat nonchalantly through the most brutal and gut-wrenching scenes of gore, entirely unaffected.

And he will.

He will do that, right in front of you, and not even have the decency to understand why you have to go vomit.

He doesn't really get most horror films. But occasionally something will resonate strongly with him and he will become very quiet and potentially fairly upset for awhile.

If something reminds him too much of Lilith or her death, for example.

But even if that happens, he won't stop eating.

Belphegor

"Wake me up if something interesting starts happening."

Another one who is entirely unaffected by horror.

Nothing is more horrifying than living as himself in this fucked up world.

He's very annoyed whenever Mammon or Levi watches anything horror-related because their screaming makes it hard to sleep.

He doesn't mind if you scream though.

He can fall asleep to the sound of you screaming.

Take that however you wish.

#tgr #the gang react #obey me demon brothers #obey me #obey me! #obey me hcs #obey me headcanons #obey me hc #text post #obey me text post #obey me luficer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #lucifer #mammon #Levi #Satan #Asmo #beel #belphie #dthc

[devildomwriter]

Obey Me Brothers Texting Their Kids #1

Lucifer

Mammon

Leviathan

Satan

Asmodeus

Beelzebub

Belphegor

#obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #funny obey me #obey me as texts #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me leviathan #obey me belphegor #obey me beelzebub

[ad0rechuu]

THE WORM DILEMMA. ━━ OBEY ME, part 1

warnings. ━━━━━ mentions of eating and bestiality, swearing

taglist. ━━━━━ send me an ask to be added to the general obey me or kpop taglist (or both ofc)

masterlist | part two

notes. this idea randomly came to me and it was a lot of fun to do because i haven’t done a lot since i finished milky way. anyway please share ur thoughts and reblog it really helps writers on this app :3

#ad0rechuu — works #obey me #obey me smau #obey me social media au #obey me texts #obey me fake texts #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me omtrta #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me nightbringer #obey x reader #obey me oneshot #obey me x mc #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey diavolo #obey me barbatos

[uselessalexis165]

another one cuz i remembered more ships i liked

#i can’t believe i forgot about book of life #my text #helluva boss #the nightmare before christmas #the book of life #adventure time #fionna and cake #beelzebub #vortex #tnbc sally #jack skellington #manolo #maria posada #manolo x maria #simon petrikov #betty grof #petrigrof

[insomniachox]

𝐦𝐜: wait so how big are you though? 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐥: like 6'4 𝐦𝐜: no i mean like in bed 𝐦𝐜: how big are you? 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐥: still 6'4? just sideways?

━━━━━

              ╭                                              ╮

                        𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐘 𝐌𝐄! 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬              

              ╰                                              ╯

#obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me beelzebub #obey me mc x beel #obey me texts #obey me incorrect quotes

[corvus-for-ddd]

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me ideas #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me texts #obey me twitter #obey me thoughts #obey me memes #obey me imagines #obey me devildom #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #corvus for ddd #obey me nightbringer

[devildom-moss]

MC plays favorites (with the demon brothers)

MC: Which one of you fuckers stole my shirt?

Asmo: Not this time, love.

Lucifer: This time?

Belphie: Well, don’t look at me. I’m above that.

Lucifer: Good, since you aren’t above much else.

Belphie: Are you calling me short?!

Lucifer: I’m saying your height is as stunted as Mammon’s brain development.

Mammon: What the fuck? Why’d ya have to drag me, too? Besides, shouldn’t we be questionin’ the creep of the group?

Levi: Wooow. Rude.

Belphie: At least he's self-aware.

MC: Well, did you?

Levi: N-no! Of course I didn’t. Mammon’s the slimy thief!

Mammon: Wha- why would I want MC’s shirt?

Asmo: Well-

Lucifer: Don’t you dare!

Satan: Sorry, MC. I stole one of your shirts.

MC: What for?

Satan: It smells like you, and it makes me feel calm when you aren’t around.

Beel: I stole one, too. Sorry, MC.

MC: Can I at least give you two shirts that I don’t like as much? One of you took my favorite shirt.

Beel: Of course.

Satan: That’s fine with me.

Lucifer: Wait. Are you joking?

Levi: Aren’t they in trouble?

MC: No.

Mammon: Ya ain’t mad?

MC: Not anymore.

Mammon: So can we all have one of your shirts?

MC: Absolutely not.

Asmo: So unfair.

(the dateables ver.)

#lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #gn!mc #obey me chat text #obey me demon brothers #obey me #obey me luficer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

[da-shrimping-station]

Mammon helps out with the House's budgeting as well as managing finances.

It started when he found Lucifer's notes on the expenses when they moved to HoL. Diavolo was generous enough to give them a monthly stipend but it was the brothers' first time having to deal with something like this. In the Celestial Realm, they really didn't have to spend much or ask for much. In the castle, everything was provided for after a simple request. But now they're on their own. Still with Diavolo's support of course but far more independent now.

So Mammon sits down on Lucifer's chair and starts poring over the papers. Lucifer's already got a preliminary budget drafted but it's not that thorough. His brother doesn't go out much with needing to juggle caring for everyone as well as fulfilling duties for the Demon Prince so some of the estimates are way off especially in terms of cost. He doubts his brother knows market prices for things like toiletries and groceries.

Time passed (that Mammon wasn't aware of) and he was waist deep in the process of fixing the budget. Lucifer eventually comes home and sees him at his desk and making a mess (in his opinion) of things.

"We're gonna need a bigger allowance." Mammon looks him dead in the eye, ink stains on his hands and papers filled with scribbles and calculations.

Lucifer makes the smart choice of shutting up and listening to him.

Over the next few days they manage to come up with a more feasible and more detailed budget plan for the family. The only thing left to do is to send a formal request to Diavolo to request a more flexible amount for the stipend.

Does this mean they all (Mammon especially) become more responsible with their finances? Of course not! It's just that Lucifer now has a more detailed report and estimate of everyone's spending! Mammon's transaction history and his maxed out Goldie. Levi and his online shopping for games and merch. Satan buying a cart full of books as well as random ingredients he may or may not use for curses. Asmo and the long bill for clothing, makeup, shoes, accessories. Beel being the reason the allocated budget for food is more than half of the stipend. Belphie and a purchase list of questionable but exorbitant items.

And of course Lucifer splurges here and there. Do you think this man buys anything cheap? NOPE. It has to be of good if not the highest quality possible. He justifies that it's a one time purchase (but the price tag is still hefty and how long do you think that item will last given you live in a house full of gremlins???)

"Here ya go, Lu. This month's summary."

"What do you mean we had to pay 40,000 grimm for damages to property?!"

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #shrimpy rambling #long post #text post #RIP lucifer's blood pressure everytime he gets the summary #mammon is not apologetic at all #they tried to reign in the spending habits to no avail #MC faints at the sight of the bill and the summary #obey me headcanons #🦐:ramblings

[im-the-j-in-anthony-j-crowley]

Okay, here me out, i can't stop thinking about demons and the fact that many of them can't spell

Crowley says that spelling is not their strong point, and we see this exemplified especially in Shax and Furfur, but now recently it occurred to me to look up how to pronounce food in Italian. Remember Hastur? If you look it up, you'll notice it's cibo, and if you listen to the pronunciation, you'll notice it's VERY similar to the pronunciation of ciao (what Crowley says in that scene, remember?).

Learning this is what gives me a start for what I had been thinking for quite some time, because at the beginning I thought that the spelling thing was something for only the lower level demons, after all, Shax and Furfur have leveled up, but initially they were at the bottom. But not Hastur, Hastur is a duke of hell.

And the confusion between cibo and ciao proves that he must likewise have some kind of problem with language comprehension.

Also, I want to add, I'm not entirely sure if this is a good point, because I may be influenced by the fact that I'm not a native speaker, but Dagon's motivational speech doesn't directly reflect poor language use, but I get a sense that it doesn't reflect great command of it either

And then we go to Crowley, I assume we all think at first glance that Crowley has no problem with language, right? But let me remind you of something: Crowley hates books.

Yes, he has books. But the one book we see, has pictures, lots of pictures. An illustrated astronomy book. In addition to this, Crowley demonstrates a strong dislike of books. Contempt. Hatred. Yes, we've seen him write things. Yes, they are well written. But it doesn't seem to be something he enjoys

With all of this information, I'm going to reach the conclusion that ALL demons have a problem with language, especially written language. Even despite the fact that they are able to speak every existing language.

And I feel that this is a curious detail, because taking into account the powers they have, one would think that they could compensate those difficulties by miracles, right?

They don't. They still have those errors, and you could say it's because none of them have thought of it but... Really? None of them have thought of it? In 6000 years? I don't believe it.

So it must be something intrinsic, there's something they can't change that makes it difficult for them to write/spell.

And we could even go further, because one of the things I find curious, is the fact that Shax has problems with sarcasm. A demon, problems with sarcasm. No one in 6000 years spoke sarcastically to Shax?

I don't have enough arguments to add this as a collective demon problem, since Shax is (I think) the only one we've seen with that problem, but it's something close enough to mention.

Mixing all this up, I should mention the big elephant in the room: Demons have written records of who enters hell

We've already established that the difficulties with language go as far as the dukes, and I feel it's not jumping too far if we say that Beelzebub and Satan possibly shouldn't be spared.

So, who are these reports for? It's not like they're going to read them, I know that's hell, but why would they force themselves to go through that torture?

The only thing that makes sense is that those reports are for someone external, and there are only two options: heaven, or directly God.

And both options seem pretty cruel to me, because we know one thing: angels can read.

Aziraphale can, Muriel can, Gabriel can, we don't have any example of an angel who can't read. Crowley had a book before he fell. So we can assume that demons could read.

They could, and the fact that now they can't makes me see only one possible explanation: Falling caused them those problems.

And I feel that if we mix my two conclusions, the ending is something very ugly. Demons have problems with language, especially written language. Those problems started when they were expelled from heaven. They make written records that are possibly presented to those who turned them into demons.

Basically it is a very strong level of cruelty.

Please recognize the demon's rights. They still deserve to have rights

#And let's not forget to mention that giant text Crowley had on the authorization to destroy Job's stuff #Was anyone in hell even able to read that? #jay and the really long posts #good omens meta #good omens analysis #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens show #good omens s2 #anthony j crowley #crowley #good omens demons #beelzebub #good omens furfur