#been plateaued for a couple weeks

[tgandc]

things i’ve learned in 14 years of ed life and need to remind myself every once and awhile: (really it’s been almost 18, but the most severe years were between the ages of 14-28)

1. don’t set a date to lose weight by. you’ll sabotage yourself. instead, set a goal weight, and a plan to meet that goal, and give yourself time to meet it.

2. don’t punish yourself for slipping and eating. you’re human. you need food to survive. you’re starving yourself. you’re going to break your fast one day. or “forget” you’re restricting one day because you saw something that looked sooo damn good and you ate it without even realizing. you’re going to go over your calorie limit once and awhile. you’re going to binge. it’s inevitable.

3. learn how to curb the binges. just cause you start, doesn’t mean it’s too late to stop. if you eat 100 calories, don’t turn it into 1000. you can burn off the extra 100-500cals way easier than 5000.

4. learn your triggers. avoid them.

5. just exercising doesn’t work well. just starving yourself doesn’t work well. you need to restrict AND work out. seriously. the results are in and i just lost 35lbs in 3 months. like my drs MA that weighed me saw the red line and exclamation mark that i’d lost 20% of my body weight in 3 months and she flipped out. my weight loss has slowed a little the last 2-3 weeks and it’s 100% because i stopped exercising as much when school started. i usually walk 3 miles every morning on the track after i drop my son off at daycare. it’s my lifeline. if i don’t walk the track every morning now i get super pissy, shit gets bad, and i either gain weight or plateau. restricting and working out work wayyyy better if you do them together.

6. drink water! i know everyone says this. but everyone says this for a reason. it keeps your tummy full so you eat less food, it helps flush everything out, it helps keep your digestive system running, it helps keep your face clear, it helps keep the headaches down, it helps you lose weight… water is just super good for you and you should drink it. but don’t drink too much. if you dilute your body too much, you can kill yourself. literally. if you drink too much water (e.g. 2-3 gallons in under an hour) you’ll die. so don’t drink that much. but, ya know… a gallon, or a gallon and a half spread out over a day is good.

7. allow yourself a treat every once and awhile. not a binge. not an unhealthy treat. it doesn’t even have to be a food treat. but give in once and awhile. get your nails done, take a fun class, make something, draw something, have an ice cream cone. do give yourself the opportunity to indulge in something. or else you become bitter and resentful.

8. once a week, up your calories by at least 200-500. it’ll kickstart your metabolism and you’ll lose weight faster. just don’t keep up the higher calorie count for more than ONE DAY or you’ll start gaining again. but one of those days every couple weeks is great to avoid a plateau.

9. when your clothes start getting really baggy, buy a smaller size. there’s nothing quite as rewarding as going from a large to a small. i just made the switch a few weeks ago and it’s amazing.

10. feel your b0ne3. rub your hands over your r1b3, your h1pb0n3s, your c0llarb0n3s look at your thigh gap.. get on tumblr, look at th1nsp0, it’ll keep you motivated.

11. take lots of pictures. it’s great to look back and see the progression from fat and gross to being skinny and beautiful 🥰

12. stay safe ♥️

all pics in this post are me ☺️

#i wish i was thinner #tw ana relapse #tw ana thoughts #tw ed diet #food things #ed diet #thigh gab #ed relapse #4na thoughts #ana trigger #tw eating issues #4n4rexia #tw ed relapse #4n4r3x14 #th1n$po #4n0r3x14 #4n4m1a #not pr0 just for myself #4na diary #disordered eating thoughts #analist

[exhausted-archivist]

The Deep Roads are Complicated, and I am in too Deep...

I've been working on and off at mapping the Deep Roads for a while now and after writing 4 pages explaining my methodology of why I think it is mapped the way I put it and then moving on to orienting the ttrpg thaig map, I realized something while taking notes on the directions mentioned and cross-referencing it to the description of Horrors of Hormak thaig description.

You can't map the Deep Roads from a top-down perspective because sometimes the roads change directions and aren't actually going in a straight line.

They need an orthographic map. Or a map that essentially bisects the mountain. The literal map in the corner of both the Origins and ttrpg maps. The maps... that have increments of depth.

Now, I knew that the deep roads had to change elevation, especially considering how they're described and the way they're supposedly below sea level for most thaigs.

But somehow, despite knowing that, I never considered that thaigs and the roads themselves would essentially be stacked on top of each other. Don't know why that never crossed my mind up until I was checking my notes and the passages of the ttrpg and Horrors of Hormak to confirm directions. To which it finally clicked as they both explain how there are galleries/antechambers and staircases/pathways that change directions.

How do we get to the thaig? This tunnel leads to a series of galleries. Think of them as interconnecting wide flights of stairs linked together and occasionally switching direction. We head down these for a few hours and we’ll be on the outskirts of the thaig.

-- Dragon Age Tabletop RPG, Buried Pasts p. 18

Beside him, Lesha muttered a word and her staff began to glow. She pushed it inside the entrance to the hole, giving light to the darkness within. The edges of the circle cast by Lesha’s spell revealed a small staircase that descended into an antechamber slightly larger than the clearing above, carved with a skill and delicacy that rivaled the works of Orzammar, or even Kal-Sharok. At the other end of the chamber, a doorway and a second staircase beyond that which spiraled into the darkness, the entire space lit by the glow of lyrium. And above the entrance, written in dwarven runes, a single word—Hormok.

-- Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights, Horrors of Hormak (p. 86)

Which then gave me pause and had me rereading and looking back at the map. Because the maps looked like they were straight and didn't initially give the impression of any verticality to them. Until you look in the corner. That's when it clicked for me and the mountains suddenly made more sense.

And now I'm screaming about it here. Because both maps are depicting a small chunk of mountain(s) in the Frostbacks. Which, for reference, my wip of the Deep Roads looked like this.

If you follow BioWare's scale of 1 square = 15 miles / 24 km - if the Deep Roads were in working order the journey to the anvil would only be roughly around 2.5-3 days journey. However, we know to get to the anvil and back to Orzammar is a month-long trip. So, with the darkspawn and collapsed tunnels it becomes a 2-week journey there and 2 weeks back. Which is quite a large jump in travel times.

I have a personal scale based on population size, megafauna, and the fact that it is supposed to take over a week to get to the Circle from Orzammar on the surface, among other travel time increments. Which makes each square 38 mi / 61 km. A 4-5 day journey from the anvil to the void when functioning.

Now, I think this map still holds up in terms of placement considering that mountains can have a wide footprint and the map on the Origins Deep Roads has at least two major peaks and a plateau, whereas the ttrpg just has one major peak and a couple of smaller ones. The ttrpg map also speaks of ravines and such so it fits the geography.

But yeah, long story short I need to revise some of my methodology; and maybe rescale the map, so things aren't super tiny.

#dragon age #dragon age maps #deep roads #dwarves #thaigs #dragon age origins #dragon age tabletop #dao #da ttrpg #long post #no cut because if I'm here you're here lost in the deep roads with me #archi is yelling

[probablysomethingtm]

Ok so I had an orchiectomy last week; here’s what I’ve noticed so far:

The pain was worst in the first 2-3 days, rapidly dropped in that time, and then plateaued. I didn’t need the super strong painkillers on the third day after the surgery, but I will probably need Tylenol for the next week or so

My mood and energy have been so much higher. Which sucks because I need to rest but I really want to do stuff

I feel my emotions way more strongly in a way I literally haven’t ever been able to before. I’m not as detached from them, I can actually feel them now

Because of the pain/discomfort, I can’t comfortably sleep on my side. This is the worst thing ever

Because they don’t want me to risk bleeding, I can’t lift more than 10 pounds or really exert myself. This is also the worst thing ever, I want to work out and squeeze my partner while we hug but I can’t ☹️ (also I was this close to using heavier weights when I do bicep curls and now I have to not work out for the rest of the month ☹️)

Walking is still a bit painful at times, but it’s getting noticeably better every day

They told me to avoid spicy food. I am not doing this. I have not noticed a downside

Not having to take T blockers every morning is nice. I kinda miss the extra color of pill in my pill tracker tho

I really hate being useless around the house

I’m pretty good at painting minis

Gloomhaven is really fun (scoundrel my beloved)

Anyway, yeah. Recovery is going well, there was a tiny amount of bleeding for a couple days but that seems to have resolved. Other than that it’s been fucking fantastic, I should’ve done this ages ago holy shit

#I should draw Scoundrel Gloomhaven

[bestworstcase]

I am really surprised that it seems no major time fuckery happened between time spent in the everafter and time passing on planet remnant. It seems like /at most/ a week or two has passed in remnant but it might honestly be a one to one on only a few days have passed. I really thought rwbyj would be coming home to major time loss like a few months because this show is so mean and the hits simply do not stop coming

i have a lot of questions about the time skip bc of this:

rwbyxjl2 suggests that it’s only been a few weeks since part one, which might just mean from team rwby’s perspective (ie, the elapsed time on remnant while they were in the ever after is not included)?

but by the time they get back, amity looks like that. it’s been converted into a fuckoff huge battleship (<- confirmed in screenshots of the script i think eddy shared on twitter last year) which is a very time- and labor-intensive process. i also simply do not believe it is feasible for this work to have been completed in vacuo, with everything so in shambles.

so my working theory right now is that qrow, robyn, and the ace-ops rendezvoused with maria and pietro onboard amity and helped pilot and/or haul it to argus, where they rendezvoused with cordovin, who has the means to take over the amity project and get it into working order as a military vessel with a labor force drawn from argus. (giving the citizens of argus a massive project like this to focus on will also be good for morale, win-win)

global comms are still down. once the plan was squared away with cordo, qrow and robyn and the ace-ops booked it straight to vacuo to update the coalition on the pledged future help from argus. all of that would have taken a few days to a week or two, tops.

(i imagine pietro and maria stayed behind in argus to help with amity; pietro’s expertise is most useful there, and she’d want to be there for him while he grieved and worried about penny.)

qrow and the rest aren’t there during the initial memorial service at the start of the epilogue but are present in the later gathering in winter’s monologue; because the mantelian civilians are present in the first but not in the second, i assume this is not an error but rather there was a second, smaller gathering once qrow, robyn, and the ace-ops arrived and learned that rwby and jaune were gone. so i don’t think the monologues/montages are happening concurrently; they’re in sequence.

grimm attack vacuo for days. things settle down for a while, with tensions still high. merc and tyrian spring the twins within a couple days of things starting to calm down, then qrow and everyone shows up not too long after with news about amity and help on the way if they can hold out for a few months. a little while after that, the refugee ship from vale arrives and grimm hammer the city again. an indeterminate amount of time passes—i think it has to be a few months, to give the amity construction time to finish and travel halfway around the world—before reinforcements arrive from argus, boosting morale and probably giving the coalition just enough of an edge to reestablish a sense of normalcy, with the result that the crown’s skyrocketing popular support plateaus. then team rwby and jaune return.

which is a fair bit to catch up on, but also not too bad, and tracks with “when you’re needed most”—the blacksmith probably sent rwbyj to the exact moment when the coalition stabilized so that they could help figure out a plan for what comes next.

[tawdryqueen]

Well, we went to the event last night where my celebrity crush was literally 10 feet from me and I had not reached my goal of 147 prior to being in front of him.

I have basically been at a plateau since like...feels like Christmas. Definitely several weeks. I haven't done much to break it; I am surviving and maintaining and have been focused on family.

I cried twice last night, and both times were because I was emotionally touched, moved, and felt so seen by someone who doesn't know I exist but who has greatly impacted my life (and I'm grateful I wasn't crying just because I was too fat to get to stand in front of him).

I have a medical weigh in at my psych appointment today, so I have gone over my intake limit for the last couple of days because I am already 5lbs down from my weigh in last month and if I lose more than 6/month consistently they start talking about my meds again.

I'm turning 35 next week and starting to realize that if I actually want to have another baby I'm going to have to knock off this nonsense and get my body to a place where it feels safe and healthy enough to house a baby, but mentally I am see-sawing between disorders in rapid action and don't know if I'm at any kind of "place" yet, good or bad.

I'm not sleeping, I'm overeating, I'm overthinking, and I'm over everything. All I want to do is stay in bed and melt my brain but things are happening today. 🩷🩵 Hang in there kids. We're all on the struggle bus.

#tw disordered eating #ed behaviour tw #tw restrictive ed #bullimic #ed relapse #tw mia #ed not sheeren #ana trigger #ed vent #ed disorder #daisy rants

[no-stupid-questions-official]

Is it normal for your art to get worse after practicing for a while? I got serious about art about a month or two ago and saw a sudden, vast improvement in my art after doing a lot of deliberate practice and studying. I sorta stopped the studying because I was bored and my art plateaued (which I expected), but it feels like it's gone backwards in quality the last few days. I think I've either burnt myself out (I've been drawing basically non-stop for the past couple of weeks) or I need to start studying again, but I'm just not sure.

-

#question

[physicsfox7]

So, I have to brag just a bit. As previously mentioned, I haven't ever been great at fighting games. Moreover, I was a notorious button masher.

But with the release of my beloved Elphelt on Strive, I am here to stay. I've been playing since about mid-December, and I am a slow learner as it is.

In the beginning, with my friends patented school, I learned a lot in a short amount of time. Then I practiced on my own, ran the arcade mode, and worked on tower. I of course grabbed fights with friends when I could. But about 5 weeks ago, I hit what felt like a plateau. Admittedly, getting my ass handed to me constantly was very disheartening as well. And I still wasn't very good.

I stepped away from it for a couple of weeks, proceeded to lose whatever edge I had developed, and lost interest. I bought Bridget in an attempt to reawaken the fighting spirit, and spent a very lovely afternoon fighting her computer on very hard. Then I stopped and didn't pick it up.

When they dropped A.B.A on Tuesday, I was very excited. I thought a new character to try out would help, and everyone else would be trying her as well, so I might have a chance to win a little bit while they learn the new controls.

With the new patch, suddenly I couldn't boot the game. I spent over a day trying to figure it out. I tried everything from verifying files to reinstalling to getting third party software. Nothing worked, I just couldn't get on the network. I missed out on pre practice, I missed out on hours of playing with friends. Finally, working with everyone, we figured out the problem. One stupid, simple fix (disabling my antivirus software, yes I know I'm an idiot) and it booted first try.

By the time I joined the lobby, I was shaking from being hungry and angry and frustrated. Everyone else was warmed up, and I was cold for three weeks. I sorta kinda held my own, got my ass kicked again and again, but it didnt feel oppressive. Instead, it was invigorating. Some of the techniques and combos I had practiced worked, and I even got complimented.

Then tonight, we had another Strive lobby night. And something clicked. I was playing. I didn't win every match, but I didn't lose every match either. I stood my ground against players far better than me. I won multiple rounds in a row, and most importantly learned a few new techniques and ideas. I implemented on the fly. Tonight felt good.

We had a random come into the lobby, who is high level with all characters, and coaches. They run tourneys, and was top 100 with a couple of their mains. I warned them before our match that I wouldn't stand a chance, but like everyone in this community, they were more interested in playing and helping than beating me down. I managed to take them down below half health in a couple matches.

After stream, I went back and watched some older videos of my gameplay, then some from last night and tonight and the level of improvement I've made is astounding.

I react faster, my combos are cleaner, there's less wasted space/time/movement, and I'm starting to feel which move is the right defense, allowing me to be proactive in defense and getting out of neutral. And I can see when to be aggreasive and when to wait more easily.

I was at a precipice, and I honestly felt stuck. The combination of time away, solo practice, and a more relaxed and patient attitude the last couple of nights has broken through. I feel positive about future sessions, and I'm looking forward to playing rather than dreading it.

I'm very pleased with myself, and I feel positive. Playing games with such skilled people is kind of dampening for both my confidence and my pride, so this was pretty great. Okay, no more bragging. K thx byeeeeeeee

#ggst #guilty gear #guilty gear strive #elphelt my beloved #elphelt my love #elphelt #elphelt guilty gear #bridget guilty gear #mental health #wholesome #friends #hugs and kisses #tell your friends you love them

[thenewsuburbia]

What had originally been pitched to me as a spontaneous catch up and a few drinks was starting to feel a little more… deliberate. The girls pulled me along the sidewalk, illuminated by the streetlamps. It was very late and the normally boisterous neighborhood was quiet except for the giggles of my girlfriend and her bestie.

—------

(2 weeks earlier)

“Come on, Gabriella is only in town for one night! It’ll be fun!” Mikayla had said, twirling her blonde hair playfully between her fingers.

I had my reservations, sure. Mikayla and I had been dating for the last 4 years, ever since college, and we had been living together for the past 6 months. Gabriella had been her college roommate, and they were inseparable, like sisters. Total “besties” still even though they now lived a few states apart. I had always thought Gabriella was fun, but her interest in me had always made me a little…uncomfortable. Before I started dating Mikayla, Gabriella (or Gabby as we called her in college) had come on to me pretty strong a couple drunken nights at parties. I thought she was cute, but we never did anything, because while slender little brunette Gabriella was always sweet, everybody knew I was not-so-secretly-obsessed with her big titted blonde roommate….Mikayla.

Hence, my hesitation. Since college all that had changed. Gabby had started on 'The Product' very early on. She’d been very vocal about it on her social media. At first it looked like she was involved in some weird MLM campaign or pyramid scheme. All her posts were about psuedo-science-y health supplements that “helped women ascend” or “become the most feminine version of themselves.” Whatever the fuck that meant? But then, I couldn't help but notice something.

Were her breasts getting slightly bigger in each post? It was almost imperceptible at first, but I saw it. Only a breast-obsessed weirdo like myself would notice something like that I thought. Maybe she was just a late bloomer? Maybe it was a push up bra or a new insta filter? A trick of the light? But as the weeks and months went on it became clear. There was no denying it. Cute little Gabby was becoming an absolute bombshell!

Gabby had asked everyone to start calling her Gabriela around the time I moved in with Mikayla. By that time her tits were looking almost as big as my girlfriend’s. That was also around the time that she started dating Chase, some ex-jock looking guy. Her posts about 'The Product' started to become less frequent. She'd gone relatively quiet on instagram. Not that it really mattered at that point as about 20% of my feed was now filled with women raving about 'The Product' and all its fantastic 'virtues'. Though none of them seemed to have grown as much as Gabriela. Not yet anyway.

Gabriella’s growth was most evident in her chest. But it was increasingly obvious that she was getting bigger and thicker all over. Was she getting taller too? I wondered with an equal mix of excitement and guilt. But her growth seemed to have plateaued recently, which made me breathe a sigh of relief. My obsession with her had been growing along with her bust. I was already ashamed of my inflation with her growing chest, and I was nervous of how far it would go.

I had always been a breast-man. Even in college the girls often teased me about it, but my fixation with Gabby’s chest was on a whole other level. I felt enslaved by it. While Mikayla was asleep,I found myself screen-shotting Gabriella's most breast-centric posts

and fapping to them later. I regularly checked her insta story as soon as I woke up for updates. And, while Mikayla and I were perfectly happy, and in a very good place, I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty about my growing desire to get up close and personal with her best friend’s tits. I couldn’t help but imagine what Mikayla would say if she knew how her friends growing bustline had affected me.

So, understandably, 2 weeks later, a couple days before Gabriella’s arrival, I was feeling a little uneasy, and even though I gave some noncommittal “mmmhmmms” and “we’ll sees” for most of the week, Mikayla had been surprisingly insistent that I attend their little reunion. I encouraged them instead to have a girls’ night, but she effortlessly brushed off these suggestions with a laugh and a wave. By Saturday I still hadn’t found a solid out from their night out on the town, and as loath as I was to admit it, part of me was very much excited to see Gabriella’s new lushness in person.

In hindsight, the first red flag was when Mikayla was getting ready.

“Wow… you… you look great.” I half mumbled, my mouth slightly agape. She was wearing a low cut black top, showing far more cleavage then I was accustomed to seeing. If I haven’t mentioned it before, my girlfriend had an incredible rack. Big perky tits that looked even bigger on her tight athletic frame. She had been absolutely stacked in college, which was one of the reasons so many guys (myself included) had been infatuated with her back then. Today though , her bra made her girls look enormous. They strained against the confines of her overmatched bra and top leaving almost nothing to the imagination. She almost never wore anything this revealing. I couldn't help but wonder: Was she feeling slightly competitive? Jealous? Of her old friend's burgeoning bust?

She took my open-mouthed stare as a sign of gratitude.“Awwww thanks babe” She purred, “Tonight is going to be soooo much fun! Now hurry up and get ready, our dinner reservation is at 7. Gabriella is meeting us there and I don’t want to keep her waiting.”

And so we arrived at one of our city’s better Italian restaurants, 15 minutes early, and ordered drinks while we waited for Gabriella to arrive. My back was to the door, and I tried my best to stifle my excitement as I fought the urge to glance furtively backwards.

“Are you excited to see Gabriella? She’s gotten so huge we might not even recognize her” Mikayla asked as she stared into my eyes, looking to gauge my reaction.

*Gulp* While Gabriela’s growing bust wasn’t exactly a secret, it certainly wasn’t something I was stoked to discuss with my girlfriend, especially given the boob-jealousy I had picked up on earlier. I tried to steer the conversation back towards less-charged waters.

“Yeah, it’ll be good to catch up. I’m excited to hear about her new job, and oh what about her boyfriend?” I said, hoping to distract her with some gossip and set us on course for an incredibly boring PG script for this evening.

“Yeah, I hear her new job is big money. She replaced some senior level guy at the company, and she's still so young, and Chase sounds like a total sweetheart. She told me he’s like a cute lil puppy dog around her.”

That characterization struck me as odd. It certainly didn’t align with my preconceived notions of the aggro / alpha looking jock I'd seen in her photos. I racked my brain trying to remember his social media… hadn’t he been on his college football team? Nothing about the dude in the letterman jacket with his arms around two girls at a party screamed “puppy dog” to me, but maybe I was unfairly labeling a dude I had never even met.

Before I could think about it too much, my thoughts were interrupted by a shriek of joy from across the table.

“Ahhhhh GABBY!”

“MIKAYALA!”

Mikayla practically jumped out of her chair as she ran towards the door to hug her friend. I turned around just as they were breaking their embrace and my jaw must’ve hit the floor.

Lil Gabby wasn’t so 'little' any more. In fact, lil Gabby was gone, and in her place stood Gabriella. What a woman! Gabriella was MASSIVE. Oh. My. God. Her tits were twice as big as I’d seen in her posts! They were displayed proudly nestled in a lacy magenta top, which was low cut to the point of obscenity. So much creamy, mouth-watering cleavage! Holy shit, my girlfriend’s sizable rack looked rather bland by comparison.

Was she wearing heels too? I didn’t remember her being so tall? I was literally speechless as the two of them bounded over to our table, chattering away with girlish glee.

I maybe mumbled some 'hellos' as the girls took their seats at the table. I was trying my best not to stare but finding it exceedingly difficult. Gabby was not only huge, but she seemed overall much … I don't know… softer. Her ballooning curves strained against every seam of her outfit, putting her body on full display as she moved. She had this aura of…matronly confidence…about her. She was glowing and giggling and as she glowed and giggled, her luscious, all-consuming, breasts glowed and giggled with her. I was transfixed, and I found myself hanging on to her every word as she went through the motions of catching us up with her life.

A bottle of wine was ordered with appetizers. I found myself drinking wine a little quicker than the girls mostly to calm my nerves. I was fidgety, and I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. I found myself drinking wine a little quicker than the girls. The girls were talking very quickly about all manners of things, and I did my best to keep up, however, after our entrees and my third glass of wine, (when had we ordered a second bottle?) I found myself falling under the spell of Gabriela’s movements. Her every sway and jiggle captivated me, and as I poured myself yet another glass of wine, I noticed a smirk creep over Mikayla’s face. Did she just catch me staring? I might have been imagining things, but I could have sworn I just saw Mikayla and Gabriela share a satisfied glance.

“What?” I asked dumbly.

*Giggles*

“Oh nothing. We’re just glad you’re here, and having a good time. Should we order some cocktails with our desserts?” Mikayla asked sweetly.

“Oh, I don’t know. This has been quite the lovely meal, but honestly, I’m feeling a little tired and I'm about ready to go ho—“

“Bullshit” Gabriela cut me off with a smile. “How many times in college did the 3 of us stay up till sunrise? Now that you’re all grown up you’re ready for bed at 9pm on a Saturday?”

“I… I don’t know. You two should just go ahead and have fun tonight. I think I’ll just catch an uber after the check.”

The girls looked at each other and turned back to me with mock pouts. Their eyes glowed mischievously as they leaned in towards me, the closeness amplifying their dramatic curves.

My god, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t steal a glance at both their chests. I wasn’t used to seeing this much cleavage from my girlfriend and Gabriella’s tits were pushed together so dramatically with her sultry pouty pose… she looked like she was about to explode out of her top!

“Awww come on, baby”

“It’ll be so much fun!”

They took it in turns slowly breaking me down, first one and then the other as they both stared at me with pouty little faces.

“We have so much to talk about.”

“ … just like the old days!”

“Pleeeassse”

“Yeah, preeety puuuh-leeez”

It was a trick they both used to pull on me back in college when they wanted me to do something…and it still worked.

What could I say? With one more quick glance at their cleavage I gave in with a sigh.

“Ok… fine.”

“Yaaay!” They were giggling and smiling, clapping their hands in joy as they jumped up and down… and their tits jumped right along with them. I felt a sinking feeling in my chest as my eyes couldn't help but follow the bouncing boobs. What had I just gotten myself into?

“Ok, so here's what I’m thinking: We order some cocktails and have ourselves some desserts. Then we go out for a bit of drinking and dancing. Oh, and don’t worry about the check. My new 'big girl' job came with a huge signing bonus, so this is all on me!” Gabriella smiled proudly.

I was secretly thankful she offered to pick up the check. Although we were doing alright, financially, Gabriella had ordered 2 appetizers, a giant entree, and three desserts (“all to share of course”). Boy could she eat! Apparently her new body required plenty of fuel to keep her going, and to keep her growing.

“Yay, tell us about your new job!” Mikayla chimed in.

“Ok, well, first off its huge money, but more importantly, its like, a super important position within the company. This guy, Mr. Reeves, well he used to oversee this entire department with like 50 employees, and I was hired to be his assistant. You know, sending emails, keeping track of his appointments, and things like that.” She said, talking fast in between bites of tiramisu.

“Anyways, he started getting…ummm… let's say a bit distracted. He was letting things slip and spending a lot of time in his office with the door locked. So, I started taking on more and more of his responsibilities. It was really unfair because I was basically doing his job, but still getting paid as an assistant while he sat inside his big corner office.”

“I was going to quit, but then this new lady became CEO. She was older than me, Mrs. Banks was her name, but I actually knew her from some Product meetups. We weren't like, friends, or anything… but I had seen her before and we chatted once. Anyway, Mrs. Banks is so pretty and easy to talk to…even though shes a total boss bitch, and she brought this whole new energy to the company! One day she called me into her office and asked me to help with a performance review for Mr. Reeves. She was so nice and I told her everything as honestly as I could, and the next week she told me I’d been promoted! To his job! And he was being asked to stay on as MY assistant to ‘help with the transition'!”

Mikayla giggled so much she snorted. “Oh my god! And he stayed? That's so embarrassing for him! Is he still … distracted? Like, why would you even want an assistant who was so absentminded?"

“Oh, he’s much more efficient now. I think assistant life suits Mr. Reeves…. or Tom as we call him now. He is so eager to complete the assignments I give him and he always gets my coffee order just right. Mrs Banks told me the secret to her success is knowing how to motivate her underlings.” She paused for a sip of wine and a dramatic smirk. She spoke in a syrupy sweet baby doll voice “And lets just say I know exactly how to motivate my lil Tommy.” She chortled, sending her tits wobbling. And glanced up into my gaze.

I had been semi-aroused for all of dinner, but this last story had an unexpected effect on my hardening member. My cock had fully sprung, throbbing against my khakis as she stared into my eyes. What the hell was she doing to me?!

With desserts finished, the work talked continued up until our bill arrived. Gabriela snatched it quickly and pulled a heavy looking black American Express out of her clutch.

“So…” She smiled back at us, absentmindedly adjusting her top. “Where's the best place to go dancing around here?”

———————

We had agreed to go to Cache Cache, a kind of salsa bar with live music and DJs. The place was packed, but after a little scouting we found a booth (both the girls sat across from me) and we ordered some margaritas. Boy, I needed to be careful. It had been a while since I had drank this much. I was once again struggling to hold up my end of the conversation. I was never a sloppy drunk, but after a few too many I tended to get a little slow and glassy eyed. The girls, meanwhile, were showing almost no effects from the alcohol. Had they been drinking as much as I had? They were absolutely glowing, both of them, chatting animatedly and giggling. As I became less and less of a factor in their conversation, I began to fixate on the girls’ body language. The lean-ins, the arm crosses, the way they were posing. It all seemed rather deliberate.

Was Gabriella trying to show me what I missed turning down her advances all those years ago? Her posture and glances and smirks seemed to scream:

“You didn’t want me because I wasn’t busty enough for you. Well, look at me now. Am I big enough yet? Take it all in. Stare at my huge, fat titties. Look how much bigger I am than your girlfriend.”

My girlfriend, meanwhile, seemed just as eager to keep her chest front and center. Like, right now she was pulling her shoulders back and fiddling with her top. Maybe it was my imagination, but it seemed like she was feeling a little competitive. She, of course, knew all about my breast-fixation, and having this busty goddess here (especially a busty goddess who, she knew, had once tried to hook up with me) had her vying for my attention, it seemed.

But, while the ladies’ body language was screaming pay-attention-to-me-cat-fight, their tone and conversation could not have been any more different. They couldn't stop laughing or cracking jokes. They shared stories and gassed each other up. They seemed like the very best of friends having the time of their lives.

I tried to ponder this dissonance , but only managed to land on “maybe women are just weird and you don’t understand them at all.” While something was certainly up, I found myself too distracted by their large womanly chests to care. I was content to sit back and watch the show.

“So, why isn’t Chase here? We wanted to meet him.” Mikayla questioned, pulling me from my revelry. I knew nothing about the guy, but I was very interested in what kind of guy could land this bombshell sitting in front of me.

“Oh, he’s at home. He’s so sweet, you’re going to love him! He treats me, like, so so well and he's so handsome.” Gabriella couldn’t hide the pride in her voice. “It’s like… he does everything I ask him. He takes me on expensive trips, and gives me back massages, and buys me presents. Sometimes it feels like he worships the ground I walk on!” She laughed, an arrogant smirk creeping across her face.

“Sounds like Mr. Reeves… sorry I mean… lil Tommy might have some competition for your assistant soon!” Mikayla chortled, laughing so hard a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Well, Chase definitely knows his place. He LOVES serving me. He has been so supportive of me being on The Product! A lot of guys would let their fragile male ego get in the way, but he loves seeing me get bigger and bigger… becoming more woman for him. More woman than he can handle. It seems like the bigger I get..” She cupped her breasts and gave them a demonstrative shake “the more he’ll do anything to keep me happy.” She was practically purring.

“OMG!” Mikayla was laughing so hard her eyes were watering “He must REALLY want to see you happy now. Girl, your tits are absolutely massive!”

“Ummm yeah, ya think?! At first I thought they were TOO big, but between work and Chase and everything….. I don’t know… everything has just been going so well since I got on The Product. Guys seem to love it. ‘Bigger is better,’ right?” She turned to me with a knowing smile. “What do you think? Do you like them or do you think they’re too big?”

My face flushed scarlet. I glanced back and forth between the two girls. How the hell was I supposed to answer that?! Mikayla was staring at me inquisitively, waiting for an answer. Gabriella smirked with her chest displayed proudly. Given the semi-competitive nature I had picked up on, how could I answer? Should I be honest? Should I lie? How could I make sure Mikayla didn’t feel insecure, but also not insult her best friend's body?! Both their stares intensified and I knew I had to say something.

“I…uhhhh, well, I think its, ummm, important to, you know, like… feel good about your own body.” I finished lamely, desperately trying to look anywhere but at the girls.

Both girls broke into hysterical laughter. Mikayla was full blown crying and Gabriela had to put her fist to her mouth to try to gain control. This was not the reaction I had been expecting to my lame platitude about body positivity.

“OMG, see Mikayla, he can barely talk! Boys just get so cute and flustered when you talk about your titties getting bigger!”

“Well, he always gets cute and agreeable when I wear something that shows off 'the girls'” She gestured towards her chest. “But when you walk in here with those bazookas, the man can’t even speak!”

*More giggles*

“And you know, I LOVE it when boys want to keep me happy. I LOVE it when the cats got their tongue. At work, at home. Everywhere.” She was leering at me like I was her prey. “So I’m just going to keep getting bigger and bigger!”

“GIRL!” She snorted again “HOW MUCH BIGGER CAN YOU GET?! You used to be so much smaller than me, I couldn’t even fit into your sports bras. And now you're making my girls look puny!” She cupped her breasts and pushed them up, turning to Gabriela as if for comparison.

“Oh, your girls are doing just fine, hun. But if you wanted to get a little bigger you could always try The Product.” She leaned towards Mikayla, mirroring her cupping. Both their breasts were fully on display, side by side. Her tone, which had been so playful all night went down to a lower, more serious octave. “But if you want to get really big, like… huge…you have to try The Program.”

Had I heard of this Program before? I racked my memory, it was something from The Product people, I think, but I couldn’t remember any details.

“Whats the Program?” I asked, trying to sound academic about the question.

This brought another fit of giggles and a playful eye-roll from Mikayla. “Oh my god, you sit there mute and practically drooling for the last half an hour and OF COURSE your first contribution to the conversation is to ask about The Program that would make my tits huge!”

“No no, it makes sense. Its normal for guys to be curious about this kind of thing.” She tucked some hair behind her ear and turned to face me in full now. “The Program is from the company who make The Product. Its new, I only started on it a few months ago when I met Chase. The program is for partners, you see.”

I thought back to her insta. How she had seemed to stop growing about 6 months ago, only to see her bigger than ever here today. Was this all from The Program?

“The Product is just supplements.” Gabriela continued, answering the questions implied by my furled brow. “Vitamins and hormones and estrogen and other proprietary stuff that make a woman experience a kind of second puberty. any girl can get them. In fact, the company is planning on it. The Program, however, is a full routine for women and their partners, and it's much more exclusive at the moment. There's still supplements, of course. Different supplements though, some for me and some for him. But it also comes with therapy and couples treatment sessions. Sometimes we do sessions together, sometimes separately. I always come out of my sessions feeling so confident and fresh. I don’t know what his sessions are about, but when he gets home he is just the perfect little boyfriend…so eager to please. I can tell he wants my breasts, he’s so on edge and tense. It's like he wants to beg me for them, but doesn’t know how. So he begs quietly, with his eyes and actions. Oh I just love it when he whimpers! This program has just made us so much closer and we're both so happy! He is the perfect little boyfriend for me and when I finally let him see the girls… it's like pure joy for him. He's gotten to the point where he can barely contain himself!...for now” *Giggle*

I realized I’d been silent during her whole speech. While Gabriela and I had locked eyes for her description of The Program, Mikayla’s eyes had been staring at me, reading my reaction. Was this competitiveness, or something else?

Gabriela continued, unfazed by my growing discomfort and poorly hidden arousal. “The Program is about balance. It's about rebalancing outdated gender roles. Mankind has been in charge for about…2000 years now, I think it's time for women to take the reigns.For womankind to ascend, mankind needs to wane, and as I strive to become so much more, Chase strives to become so much less. Some guys, the dumb alpha guys, might think that's weakness, but women like me know that it takes incredible strength to give everything to us. To give up all that Power, to give up all that Control that men have had for so long. He wants to help us- he wants to help me- become the best version of myself, and that strength… the strength to concede'' Her voice took on an aroused husky lilt “makes women like me very, VERY, Happy.”

"And when I'm happy, he's happy, you see? I take care of him and all his 'little' problems. All his little male urges…as I’ve gotten bigger his appetite for me has become so much more overwhelming for him. He's so hungry. Every deep breath, every low cut blouse, every new bra… it practically melts his little brain. He’s gotten so…so fixated… on my body…on my breasts. And I can give him exactly what he wants, his every urge and whim is completely satisfied. And in exchange…he does everything I say. Everything is so easy for him now. Everything is less complicated now that his only focus is my happiness and the pleasure I can give him. Now doesn't that sound like a good deal? Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone take care of you and all your silly little needs?”

She grabbed another margarita, seemingly out of thin air, and handed it to me. Wait, had they not ordered one too?

“But come on” Gabriela’s voice took on her playful tone again, turning back to her friend “Did we come here to talk about my relationship or did we come here to dance?!”

———

The dance floor was a blur. The margaritas seemed to be really catching up to me. My head was swimming, and I found myself floating from one moment to the next with no real memory of how I got there.

The girls pulled me along and made sure I got to where I needed to go. All 3 of us were dancing together, nothing sensual, just kind of boppin’ around and vibing on the dancefloor. The DJ was really good, mixing some house tunes with latin sounds. The tempo varied, sometimes slow and passionate, other times more upbeat.

It was crowded, hot and sweaty, but not necessarily in a bad way. The atmosphere felt charged and electric. The two girls were radiant, moving rhythmically, drawing the glances of men and women alike, but often for different reasons. Women gave them jealous looks while men lusted after them, but they didn't seem to care. They loved being the center of attention. It's where they belonged.

Soon, the beat picked up and Mikayla pulled me close. With no hesitation, she laid a searing kiss on me. It wasn’t the kind of kiss I was expecting, it wasn’t a sultry-sexy-dancefloor-kiss, it was romantic… dare I say… sweet. It was more than a peck, for sure, but it was tender. Her lips moved playfully over mine, and when she broke the kiss, she smiled at me. It was a cute and compassionate smile, again not what I was expecting. It caught me off guard. She put her arms around my neck, and pulled me close.

“I really love you and appreciate you.” She whispered into my ear, her tits pushing into my chest below. “You deserve a little reward, I want you to feel really good tonight.” Her hand reached down between us and gave my bulge a playful squeeze. “You’re already hard, huh? Hope that's for me and not for Gabby’s huge tits.” Before I could respond, her tongue invaded my ear, and slowly moved its way down to my neck.

I was momentarily speechless, this was so unlike her! Wasn't she supposed to be mad at me? Hadn't she caught me staring at Gabriela’s new vastly superior curves? As she pulled away I saw she was still smiling sweetly, with no trace of malice in her eyes. Now I was really confused. Seeing my perplexed expression, she smiled playfully before turning around and starting to grind against me. I had always been a tit guy, but there was no denying Mikayla’s amazing rear. Her athletic yet supple backside (the product of 3 yoga classes per week) pushed back against my hardness, moving in sync with the music. I began to reciprocate, slowly grinding back into her as my arms wrapped around her and pulled her in closer. She moaned in unfeigned pleasure allowing me the opportunity to look over her shoulder and down into her deep inviting cleavage. Her breasts glistened and bounced in the hot and crowded nightclub, which only served to heighten my libido more. Unconsciously I redoubled my hip motion against her.

“ Ahhh! Oh baby, did looking down my top get you excited?” She purred breathlessly “Does it get you hot looking at my big titties? Good. I wore something really low cut to get you all hot tonight.”

We continued like this, dancing wrapped together like two serpents for several songs. I was absolutely throbbing, I had no idea what had gotten into her. Maybe the drinks were finally starting to catch up with her too. No matter the reason, I was enjoying myself too much to worry.

“Mind if I join you two love birds?” Gabriella had come up in front Mikayla. “The guy over there in the basketball jersey keeps creepin’ on me.” Mikayla just laughed and pulled her friend into our space.

If I thought they were jockeying for my attention before, the two of them were bringing it to a whole new level now. The two of them seemed to be putting on some kind of show, both of them determined to inflame my desire further. But whether their motivation was competition, or something else, I had no idea.

My girlfriend's hips pushed back into mine, the softness of her rear pressed against my hardness, while her best friend's tits swayed rhythmically in front of me. Gabriella came in closer still, her chest pushed against Mikayla’s. I couldn’t help but stare at their racks pressed together as Mikayla’s ass became more insistent against my length. The brunette’s dark eyes locked on to mine as she adjusted her top, pulling it down a bit to show more creamy cleavage. My eyes responded immediately, darting down to her undulating breasts. My girlfriend slowly turned around, still keeping our hips pressed together. Her hand reached down to my shaft as her lips and tongue played roughly on my neck.

Between the drinks, the dark dancefloor, and Mikayla’s newfound aggression I was in a bit of a haze, I maybe rutted into her hand, a bit eager to get relief. Her lips moved up to my ear.

“Gabby has gotten so big, hasn’t she?” She whispered huskily. I looked up, Gabby was facing me, eyes locked directly on mine with a sultry expression on her face. The way she moved was so sensual and hypnotic. “Just look at her” my girlfriend continued “Look at how her body moves.” I was looking, no doubt, at how one part of her body was moving. Her breasts were swaying lasciviously, bouncing and jiggling with the beat. Every movement seemed designed to draw my gaze, the way she leaned and crossed her arms and arched her neck and shoulders… all of it seemed so coordinated. All the while, my girlfriend's hand was still on my girth… not stroking, but just sort of fondling. My mind raced as my breath quickened.

Mikayla’s hands, Gabriela’s breasts, Getting Bigger, Gabriella Ascending, Growing Tits, Those Jiggles, Mikayla’s hand squeezing a little more insistently.

I groaned, fearing I was too far gone to stop myself from orgasming right here on the dancefloor, but as if sensing my upcoming eruption, Mikayla let go and stepped away.

She smiled at me playfully as I let out an embarrassing pitiful whimper, my balls clenching to prevent what would have been a shameful blunder.

As if unaware of my plight, the girls carried on dancing. They moved towards each other, giggling.

“God” Mikayla huffed, “you are so big!” Her hands reached up and cupped her brunette friend's chest. Both girls smiled hungrily at each other. Then, out of nowhere, she leaned forward and kissed her bestie.

The girls had made out twice in college, that I knew of: once on a dare at that random frat party when they were freshmen, and then again at a drunken after-hours a couple of years later. The second one was unprompted, but they both denied remembering it when I brought it up the next morning. So…maybe this wasn’t completely out of character for them…but it still caught me off guard. While Mikayla and I’s earlier kiss had been sweet and loving, this one was sultry and passionate. I stood there dumbly, just watching their dancing tongues while Mikayla’s hands explored her friend's body. They broke apart, smiling devilishly at each other before turning to me.

“Shots?” The both suggested in unison, before breaking into another fit of giggles.

After another trip to the bar, I followed the girls’ swaying rears back on the dancefloor. One or both of them led me by the hand at all times now. I was once again struck by how drunk I felt versus how sober they seemed to be.

My memories for the rest of the night started to get muddy. I couldn't remember much, just flashes of sweat and softness. I was making out with Mikayla, Mikayla was making out with Gabriela, Gabriela and I were making out. All our bodies writhing and gyrating into each other. I remember a cocktail of feelings: confusion, guilt, pride…. but more than any other, I remember being filled with unbridled lust. My hands pressed into the girls’ softness, their bodies pressed against mine. And, of course, I remembered tits. Their breasts were front and center, dancing in front of my gaze as I fell deeper and deeper under their spell. Mikayla’s mouth was on my neck, her breathy voice was in my ear.

“Isn’t she so big?”

“So soft.”

“Sooo nice.”

“It’s ok to stare.”

Tits were swaying rhythmically and I couldn’t look away as my girlfriend’s words seeped into my brain.

“Thinking is hard.” A hand grasped my hardness.

“Staring is easy. Don’t you want things to be easy?”

“Don’t you just looooove how big she’s gotten? Look how massive she’s become. She’s sooo much woman. Do you think you can handle that?”

“You want to be under the spell of a big and powerful woman, don’t you? Say it, baby….”

“Y-yes.” I breathed.

Two devilish smiles and a knowing glance between them.

"What was that honey? We couldn't quite hear you.

"y-Yes!" I sputtered enthralled by the idea of being under the spell of a giant woman and her equally giant tits.

One of the girls-Gabriela I think-pulled out her phone and said the bar was closing soon. She suggested we go outside for some air before closing our tab. I nodded along as Mikayla grabbed my hand, following her friend, and leading us to the patio area.

They carefully sat me down on some metal patio furniture across from them. They continued chatting, and glancing at me, while I just smiled stupidly back at them.

Honestly at this point I had no idea what was even going on. I just knew I felt…good…and I wanted to keep staring. I wanted to keep following their lead. I wanted to do…whatever they wanted.

“Ugh, that was SO MUCH FUN” one of them chirped.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my hands off your tits.”

“Yeah, they're kind of hard to avoid these days.”

Even though I wasn’t adding anything to the conversation, I was well aware that both girls were looking at me… even though they were talking to each other. Feeling a rush of drunken spins coming on, I decided I needed to settle my focus on something, and (to nobody's surprise) I settled right on Gabriela’s tits as I nodded along to their chatter.

“All those guys in there were so annoying. They were flocking to your new big titties like magnets.” More giggles. “Doesn’t it get annoying?”

Gabriela took an inflating breath. “Annoying? No. Quite the contrary, actually…”

How were they stringing sentences together like this when I felt so dumb? Still, I stared directly at the cleavage in front of me.

“It makes me feel…” Her shoulders pulled back, and she took another inflating breath. “Powerful.” She said in a confident tone that reverberated through my cock and sent tingles down my spine.

“But…” Gabriela continued. “You should know all about that. My tits might be new but you’ve had that rack since freshman year!”

Mikayla hmmm’d for a little bit.

Something about this discussion felt…. I don’t know… rehearsed?

“Well, I’m big. But you’re massive. I’ve never felt that power before.” I could feel her eyes boring into me. “But, I think I’d like to.” She finished devilishly.

Wait, what was she talking about? My ears perked up and (with tremendous effort) I pulled my gaze out of their cleavage, and gave a concerned look to my girlfriend of 4 years. Was she talking about getting on the Product?...Or…even more concerning, The Program? My mind, perhaps in self-defense, recalled Gabriella’s description from earlier, ‘for womankind to ascend, mankind has to wane.”

GULP. I didn’t want that! (Did I?)

Gabriella was talking again, both girls still looking directly into my soul.

“You’d get so, so big. So much bigger than me, so much quicker.” Her voice was husky and hypnotic. “I was barely a full B-cup when I started. You’re already stacked. You’d be bigger than me in no time if you started The Program. God, the feeling of getting bigger and more powerful feels so fucking good. I want that for you so badly.”

“What about you, honey?” Mikayla asked, her voice dripping with sweetness. “Do you want to see me grow bigger and more powerful? Do you want to see my breasts swell a little bigger each day? I know you're such a breast man… would you like to see me outgrow my bras? I know how much you loooove my big bras.” She smirked knowingly.

God, I tried not to think of that time she had caught me sneakily masturbating with her bra. I had hoped she had forgotten about that.

“I could try on some new bigger bras for you, when I start growing? Let you see my progress?”

A smarter man than me, or perhaps just a more sober man, would have put some of these puzzle pieces together. Far from being in competition with each other all night, the two best friends were working together from the start. Together they had spun a beautiful boob web, and I was the fly stuck in it. But I was not that smart, and not that sober. I didn’t see the trap. And as much as the idea of my girlfriend getting even more chest-heavy appealed to me. A part of me (perhaps my male ego or sense of self-preservation) still felt very conflicted by this whole indecent proposal.

Something about it felt…unatural…and downright terrifying. It felt like jumping off a cliff, and never being able to go back.

“Well, honey? What do you think?”

“I… I dunno.” We both knew about The Product, sure, but, honestly, we had never talked about it, and this hardly felt like the time and place to do so. As I found my voice, I decided to serve up some platitudes rather than make any big decisions. “I want you to be happy, but you’re already so big.”

“Yes, but imagine if she was even bigger!”

“Yeah, well… I dunno…” I gulped. Already in our relationship I felt a little powerless around Mikayla’s tits. It was a great fear of mine that she’d realize the power her chest held over me…. She might even take advantage of it, if she wasn't already. Did I want this unspoken power dynamic to be spoken? Did I want her leverage over to become even BIGGER? Did I want to be her doting little puppy dog boyfriend?

“I can see you’re thinking about it. How about this….why don’t the three of us go back to our place. We can have some drinks, put on some music, have a little fun. I want to absolutely spoil my little breast man. Tonight, our titties are going to be your whole fucking world. You can worship at the altar of boobies all night. Getting up close and personal with Gabriela’s girls might help you learn to appreciate what I could become. If you're man enough to go through with it, that is.

You can spend all night experiencing the benefits of a bigger Gabriella, and imagining what life could be like for us. Maybe that’ll help you make up your mind?”

I stared at her utterly speechless, unable to think. I backed away slightly shocked and confused.This could not be real!

"Don't you worry." Gabriella said as she snuggled her chest close to me. "We can just…talk…" Mikayla my girlfriend, took her hands and cupped her best friends giant tits, making them look bigger than ever. She gave them a demonstrative wobble with a smirk.

"We will help you come to the right conclusion no matter how many times it takes.”

"That’s it. That's a good boy."

"Let us…take care of you…"

[apencilandpen]

The last couple of months I've been watching a whole lot of Drawfee. It's super fun and funny, the hosts are great and they're especially good artists. I've been feeling like I'm pulling at the leash of my art as of late, trying to like, grow and develop but not really knowing how or where to start, or being scared to do bad art. I want to push my ideas BEYOND the realm of fanart, and that's hard, bc that requires more actual practice and stretching ideas conceptually than what I usually do. I've generally been feeling really bad about my art, feeling like I can't draw or what i wanted to draw was stupid or lame or "out of my league." And none of that has been helped by the time of year, other elements in my life that I'm frustrated by, and the general everything of the world. It's been really hard to even pick up my pen and doodle, even badly.

But a few weeks ago I watched the Drawclass hosted by Jacob Drawfee on how to practice when you're not good at keeping a schedule or routine. And not only is he a really good teacher, all of the points he made clicked in my head. The schedule worked. I'd been wanting to get better at interiors, and I have. And more importantly, picking up a pen and opening my sketchbook doesn't feel as bad anymore.

The past few days I've been watching Nathan Drawfee's Drawclass grab-bag, and this part stood out to me:

He was talking about how a lot of the times when you're starting out, or somewhere in the middle of the beginning of your art journey, all you wanna do is accurately draw a guy. And that's what I've been doing for lime 2 years. All I wanted to do was accurately draw my guys. Then I wanted to do more composition-y representations of my guys. Then I wanted them to have more mood. And now I want to move beyond doing all that and accurately drawing my guys and into telling stories. Maybe inspired by music or my guys or concepts or characters or shows or movies or from my own roster of OCs that have gone untouched for too long. I wanna do series and big illustrations and backgrounds and lighting and characters. I wanna look at more real life professional illustration work and pick it apart. I wanna read and get more art books. I still don't wanna monetize my hobby, but I feel like my art has just been plateauing for a really long time and it's finally hit a growth point. And Drawfee has made it fun to think about that. It's a lot less scary when its fun.

#ive been having a real hard time with art lately and actually WANTING to do art is a MASSIVE improvement from where i was a few weeks ago #im working on a big traditional puece rn that ive been planning for months and finally said 'fuck it' and started #its coming along really nicely too and im really pleased with and proud of it #i think im gonna work traditionally more for a while #digital is fun and fast but i miss my pens and inks #i hesitate to even call it art block bc its just a symptom of a greater issue #but im really happy about wanting to make art that not only feels cool but also fun and FEASIBLE #long post #drawfee #just my two cents #my stuff #my post #digital scrapbook

[cantseemtohide]

People you'd like to get to know better

Thank you to @akitasimblr @devotedsims @dragonflydaydreamer and @introvertedfox for the tag 😊

Last Song: Be Your Own Pet - Worship the Whip

Favourite colour: I don't have a favourite they've all got their place 👍

Currently watching: 3rd series of Only Murders in the Building

Last movie: Ooh gosh I don't know it's been ages. It might have been Tsai Ming-Liang's film Days. Half of it is a couple of blokes walking and sitting around, then the rest of it's a long gay massage and then waiting for a bus. Cracking stuff 😁 you've got to be in the right mood for his films but they are very unique that's for sure.

Currently reading: I've been sick this week and haven't been able to do much except watch telly and read. Just about finished Dream Houses by Genevieve Valentine. Sci-fis not my thing usually, maybe it's the fever talking but I liked this a lot. Very generic plot - stuck alone on spaceship with only AI computer for company, its treated more psychologically though and it really works well 👍

Sweet/spicy/savoury: mostly all I want to eat now is dry toast 😢

Last thing I googled: hannah forward

Current obsession: I dunno

Currently working on: In sims I'm trying to do a makeover for Plateau Place in StrangerVille. It's hell!

Not sure who's done this anyway I will tag @memoirsofasim @simmer-rhi @ethicaltreatmentofcowplants @nuttydragonbird @myverycoolnickname @whyeverr @tarobeans @irrewilderer

Feel free to ignore if you already did this/prefer not to 😊

#tag thing #people you'd like to get to know better #non sims

[x3no9]

For those who have been watching me from the start...

I didn't even know how to sketch stick figures three months ago, then I got inspired by some artists here to try it out. I am a writer (not saying I am good lol) but I have always yearned to draw. So I stayed up day, night, and even during work breaks, teaching myself on paper and an ipad.

The first couple of weeks started out badly, mostly due to my self-loathing. I watched a couple of videos and asked @eyecandyeoz and @judithmactir for pointers. I was moving into my next phase of improvement. Up until last week, things sort of plateaued for me as far as skills. So I tried speed painting and sketching, just letting loose basically. (obviously didn't post any of that here)

Next, I played around with rendering. Since the videos do NOT help me with how to render, I just guessed. Wasn't happy though, so I started using ADOBE In-design four days ago. I use it in ADDITION to Procreate.

So now I sketch and color layers in Procreate, run it through FOTOR with a basic prompt or two using my actual work. It ALWAYS come out weird, but I am not trying to use AI to change my style. This IS the style I have always wanted, but the polished rendering just isn't fully in my skillset yet.

Personally, I find AI to be very helpful, as long as I don't just go with what it gives me. I spend just as long on the "run through" image as I do on the whole process of imagining and drawing it out. Even the latest stuff I posted, wasn't completely finished. I go back and draw all over again.

The reason for this post is to hopefully clarify that my art is NOT AI. I am treating it like an extra tool in the box, like a paintbrush I haven't found yet in Procreate. I hope I didn't upset anyone using some AI in the mid-process, then going over it again by hand. Now that's out of the way, I have a lot to share and am very excited to hear what everyone thinks! CHEERS!

#disclaimer of sorts #thank you for your support #update on my art

[gainevere]

You’ve gained so much in so little time and I’m like 🫣👀

ahaha same though

i haven't tried as hard over the last couple weeks because i've been busier. today i weighed myself and i thought "oh only like 3 pounds in the last two weeks, i've really slowed down"

but that's still 6 pounds a month! i assume i'm going to plateau sooooooonnnnnnnn-ish but it hasn't happened yet

[bohemiandeer]

LIST OF CHARITIES FOR PALESTINE/GAZA

Aight so, over the past couple of weeks, I've been dedicating my spare time to making and gathering content to raise awareness for Palestine, especially since the #freepalestine tag has been plateauing from the trending list, unfortunately due to deaths among our Palestinian brothers and sisters among others. SO, I'm starting this off with a list of Charities that support Palestine and Gaza and are actively gathering donations for them for essentials. Not just for those who can donate to donate to, but also for those who can't donate to share. Every little bit helps. More are to be added in subsequent posts in the next few days. Of course this goes without saying. DON'T FORGET TO DO YOUR CLICKS FIRST. All rumours that this site isn't helping has been debunked entirely. Just a click per day every morning and hell, every afternoon or evening as soon as you get home can help. It produces ad money which is then used to aid Palestine. Not to mention Clicks are free. Whether you have money or not to donate, you can still contribute. Aight so, over the past couple of weeks, I've been dedicating my spare time to making and gathering content to raise awareness for Palestine, especially since the #freepalestine tag has been plateauing from the trending list, unfortunately due to deaths among our Palestinian brothers and sisters among others. SO, I'm starting this off with a list of Charities that support Palestine and Gaza and are actively gathering donations for them for essentials. Not just for those who can donate to donate to, but also for those who can't donate to share. Of course this goes without saying. DON'T FORGET TO DO YOUR CLICKS FIRST. All rumours that this site isn't helping has been debunked entirely. Just a click per day every morning and hell, every afternoon or evening as soon as you get home can help. It produces ad money which is then used to aid Palestine. Not to mention Clicks are free. Whether you have money or not to donate, you can still contribute. They have Donation and NGO pages dedicated towards Palestine relief too.

Link to Part 2 of this post https://www.tumblr.com/bohemiandeer/746109206817587200/list-of-charities-for-palestinegaza-a?source=share

#free palestine #gaza #charity #charities #charities for palestine #donation #donations #help #current events #free gaza #palestine #rafah #free rafah #humanitarian crisis #humanitarian aid #humanitarian assistance #all eyes on palestine #all eyes on rafah #all eyes on gaza #all hands on deck #charity list #fundraising #share #this is important

[stigisconfused]

i ❤️ being sick so i have an excuse to not eat anything all day!

I lost 3lbs and passed my GW2 by 2lbs

I’ve been at such a plateau the last couple of days so i almost cried of happiness when I weighed up this morning.

So i’ve officially lost 12lbs from my starting weight which is NEARLY A STONE.

Small GW’s always make me more motivated- i’m the happiest i’ve been in the past miserable two weeks!

#notpr0justtags #pro for me not for thee #ana meal #tw ed but not sheeran #an0rec1a #ana buddie #@na trigger #@nor3×14 #anorexcya #3dtumblr #analog #light as a 🪶 #light as a feather #🕯️as a feather #tw ana diary #ana bllog #anatumblr #ana rant #ana trigger #ana tricks #pro4ana #ed not sherran #ed not ed sheeran #ed not sheeren #notpr0 #notpro4n4 #skinnni #starv1ng #skinnyspø #tw thinspi

[acradelius]

Uhm, hey!

Sorry if this place is not the right place to drop requests, but oh well, here we go...

Could you do some NSFW Zenyatta with the Sunyatta skin x male reader (preferably, if you vam) with Zen being dominant hehe. I'm really intrigued to see how you would write him, Sunyatta is just hnnngh- sooo good! Some smut with Zen's best friend would be much appreciated! ;)

PS. I have a massive crush on Sunyatta's claws a-and I'd love for you to include them, anyhow you want! <3

"I AM YOUR GOD"

Fandom: Overwatch / Overwatch 2

Pairing: "Sunyatta" (Tekhartha Zenyatta) x M!Reader

Rating: Lemon [🟡] (NSFW!)

Warnings/Mention Ofs: College Student! Reader, Human x Omnic Relations, Religious Aspects/Themes, Worshipping, Praise, Implied Manipulation, Obsessive Themes, Submissive Male Reader, Dominant Zenyatta, Slight Oral Fixation, Omnic Receiving! Blowjob, Robotic Cock Attachment, Claws, Scratching, Causing Wounds, Bleeding, Profanities, Orgasm, "Open"/Closed Ending

Word Count: 1,764 Words

Author's Note: robo dick robo dick robo dick

 There was something about studying abroad from the country you’ve spent your whole life growing up and living in, that was definitely something that (Y/N) could agree with. There was something about being able to wander throughout the bustling streets of Cairo, Egypt, taking the miraculous sights of the cultural events happening throughout the town, tasting the amazing exotic food that trying to describe the taste was just so difficult from how good it tasted. There was just something about going out to those night activities with some buddies from the university and leaving Cairo, sneaking into some ancient ruins of Giza Plateau, which started to make (Y/N) feel somewhat anxious about getting caught, and ending up awakening an ancient god from his slumber. Yet, there weren't any feelings of fearfulness, no feelings of ongoing dread despite the unknown words that proceeded to echo off the walls of the ruin and that booming, threatening tone of voice. If anything there was that feeling of inquisitiveness, that yearning desire to figure out who exactly this devine god was and what exactly he was capable of. 

What exactly had happened after that was uncertain to any of the trespassing members there, only brief moments that they could remember that wasn’t much to explain or too conflicting to process what exactly had happened. Yet, there was a certain amount of things that (Y/N) knew every time he would sneak out from Cairo back to those ancient ruins of the Giza Plateau to visit the god over and over again. 

Being able to worship him was such an honor. 

Being acknowledged by him was such an honor. 

Sunyatta reciprocating (Y/N)’s romantic feelings was such an honor. 

🔅          🔅           🔅          🔅          🔅          🔅          🔅           🔅

It was becoming more and more difficult to maintain healthy boundaries with Sunyatta, seeing that everything else around (Y/N) was seemingly falling apart. He was struggling with his studies, finding himself missing more and more classes, failing more and more exams to the point he was on the verge of failing and being evicted from his classes. (Y/N) was struggling to maintain relationships with other people, including his own family, coming up with various excuses as to why he couldn’t socialize with them. Overall, he was neglecting his responsibilities, besides what had been ingrained into his mind as the most important one: to return to Sunyatta and worship him with everything he had. It had merely begun as something that had taken place every couple of weeks, but over time and spending more time with Sunyatta became more frequent in time, at this point it had been that (Y/N) was sneaking out almost every night to see him, spending countless hours with him. Tonight, happened to once again be one of those nights, Sunyatta having promised him a reward for his excellent dedication and loyalty. 

It doesn’t take that long for him to reach their usual meeting place, (Y/N)’s arms full of various objects to offer to Sunyatta, but had stopped within his tracks upon hearing him begin to speak. “You’re such an exquisite, loyal follower (Y/N),” Sunyatta began to address as he began to enclose the distance between them, not bothering to even glance at the items that were being carried, picking them up precisely with his serrated claws and merely tossing them aside until (Y/N)’s arms were empty. “You bring me various items, various items that you have believed to bring me delight, which they were in the beginning,” (Y/N)’s attention had been focused on watching the claws disperse them items onto the ground before glancing up at Sunyatta as he spoke, but was focused back onto the claws as they seemingly twirled and danced within his vision before one had started to prod at his lips, which he unconsciously opened his mouth slightly for them to enter into his mouth. “There’s only so many materialistic items that can be offered to someone such as myself to keep oneself appeased.” There’s a slight hesitation from (Y/N), almost stepping away from Sunyatta. Did his gifts not happen to be good enough for the god? Was there something more that he could offer to keep Sunyatta appeased? Multiple times (Y/N)’s mouth parted open to say something, but instead he was interrupted by Sunyatta speaking once again, “You’re next offering, I want it to be your body. Your physical pleasure~”

There’s an unaccounted time that passes that brings (Y/N) to this moment, being down upon his knees in front of the god, proceeding to softly whine as he gripped at Sunyatta’s loin cloth, beginning to be used for Sunyatta’s own pleasure. “You must be patient, as you need to be prepped for what is bound to come~ For the time being, you need to enjoy the show~” Sunyatta simply ignores whatever response (Y/N) might have gave, if he happened to give any response at all, and proceeds to begin by trailing his claws across (Y/N)’s flesh, watching as he would momentarily flinch as Sunyatta would press his claws deeper into (Y/N)’s flesh to leave scratches, sometimes deep enough to where blood would start spotting from said scratches. Then begins the removal of (Y/N)’s clothes, but not in any old-fashioned way, oh no~ Sunyatta does as he stated, taking his time and “removes” the clothing by simply shredding them to pieces, watching as with each more piece of clothing there’s of (Y/N)’s bare skin being revealed, more bare, unmarked skin for his beloved god to mark up. Scratch after scratch after scratch~ 

“Sunyatta,” There he was upon his knees beneath the one that he could only focus on at the moment, visibly trembling underneath the claws, bucking his hips against the air as if that would relieve some friction to his hardening, throbbing cock. “Open your mouth widely, it’s time to prepare yourself for the next phase of our delightful worship session~” (Y/N) wasn’t one to complain, as he could only imagine the pleasure to come. He was sure that if he obeyed and did what he was told to do, that he would be rewarded greatly. Opening his mouth widely he had stuck out his tongue, allowing there to be more room, and proceeded to take two claw tips into his mouth, treading with caution to explore them with his tongue. Being met with praise he let out a muffled groan, one of his hands once again tugging at Sunyatta’s loincloth all while the other one was trailing down to his own cock, beginning to slowly stroke the length. Continuing to address the claws within his mouth, not minding the faint taste of iron from having nicked his tongue. Upon the removal of the claws there’s a disappointed groan before it turned into a muffled noise of surprise as he felt something foreign enter his mouth, the texture being warm, but having a silicone based exterior. Upon opening his eyes he’s met with Sunyatta’s loincloth having been pushed to the side, realizing that apparently his beloved had his own cock, and he was being blessed with having the opportunity to pleasure Sunyatta’s cock with his mouth. Upon resting his hands upon Sunyatta’s thighs (Y/N) can feel the faint vibrations, a slight mechanical noise as the cock within his mouth begins to not only vibrate, but also rotate as well. (Y/N) figures that Sunyatta’s getting close to an orgasm, seeing the way that one of his hands was placed firmly on (Y/N)’s head, helping him take the length of his cock down his throat. 

🔅          🔅           🔅          🔅          🔅          ����          🔅           🔅

It becomes difficult to focus upon anything with all the vibrating and rotating features of Sunyatta’s cock being activated within (Y/N)’s ass, causing him to clench tightly and have the tip of Sunyatta’s cock rub roughly against his prostate, causing him to cry out. He can’t help but absolutely love the way that Sunyatta is handling him, ass up in the air while his face is rubbing harshly against the ground, Sunyatta having one of (Y/N)’s arms pulled back while the other one rests on (Y/N)’s back, slowly etching scratches into his back that spell out his name. “You’ve come to realize that this is your future, yes?” Sunyatta hums, leaning down to whisper the words into (Y/N)’s ear, chuckling afterwards at watching the drool leak out of the corner of (Y/N)’s mouth and onto the ground, him not being able to speak a complete, understandable sentence without letting those sultry moans and pleas echo out into the open. “Your future is here with me, (Y/N)!~ You will serve me, treat me as your master!~ You will worship me, worship the very ground I walk upon!~” 

Sunyatta, beginning to lose his calm and collected pace and speed, began to thrust his hips quickly and disorganized, occasionally slamming his hips against (Y/N)’s ass to stretch him out, merely addressing it as preparation for future physical worshiping sessions. Leaning forward Sunyatta released the hold upon (Y/N)’s arm, using it to reach around and wrap around his neck, pulling his head back. “Maintain eye contact with me as we cum together, alright, (Y/N)~” Another whine, another string of saliva spilling from (Y/N)’s lips and onto the ground below, trying to maintain eye contact but finding it difficult to do so. Profanities echo throughout the air, a casual “F-Fuck, your cock feels so good!~ T-Too good!!~” followed by Sunyatta’s “Continue taking me cock, show me how much you actually love worshiping me!~” That pleasurable, twisting gut feeling becomes almost too much, even despite the pain of Sunyatta digging his claws deeply into (Y/N)’s skin, trails of blood being smeared across his skin, partially staining it a light red. “Cum, cum with me, (Y/N)!~ Cum with your god!~” It’s almost instantaneously that (Y/N)’s body begins to violently tremble underneath Sunyatta, crying out as he rides out his orgasm by weakly riding it out against Sunyatta’s cock that still had yet to cease its vibrations and rotation. Sunyatta’s hot, hot to the touch that is, but that doesn’t prevent him from beginning to thrust his hips against (Y/N) once again, chuckling softly. “I am your god, (Y/N)~ No one else can make you feel this way~ Don’t you ever forget that~”

#tekhartha zenyatta #zenyatta #overwatch zenyatta #x male reader #x male smut #lemon rating #requests?! thank you<3

[mulch--devourer]

i havnt been super active the past couple weeks (started new job) but im losing a lot less weight now? even tho im sub1000 cals weekly? is this the plateau that everone talks about do i just gotta binge for a couple days and itll be fixed??? uhgggg

#ed not ed sheeran #male ed #i wanna ⭐️ve #boy ana #tw ana diary #caloric deficit #⭐️ving #weight check