#been thru most of it

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

[vellichorsdesire]

kissing f/o tummy… feeling them shiver under your hands touching their skin and pulling their shirt up slightly, the feeling of the kisses you leave on their stomach enough to make them think about it for days

#i’m so deceased right now. #imagine looking up after you leave said kisses #and they’re looking right at you with the most flustered face ever and noises escaping their lips #hair disheveled and everything. God #sorry i’m going thru it rn. having a moment. i’ve been in bed for hourss #❥ vels ramblings #self ship #self shipping #f/o imagines

[ruporas]

tri-trans! happy#tdov 💘

#trigun #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #meryl stryfe #available as a print also in the little heart #<-- guy who needs to work on promoting. but i just drew this for fun and for my own self happiness... #i drew an one piece vers of this before and i remembered it today while scrolling thru twitter #and knew i had to make a vers for them.... SOON MILLY WILL JOIN THEM TOO!!! love and peace!!! #they just make me sooo happy and its like. most ppl i interact with tends to hc them as trans so naturally. also the way nightow just #designed them. SO trans coded. sometimes i think about vash's design -- look at his little earring his hair his long red coat with the dips #it gets me every time. and meryl and wolfwood and milly... and actual trans canon chara elendira my love <3 #anyway. im just happy being trans on this day. and everyday! it's been pretty rough but it's always nice to celebrate just being here #and with everyone else #ruporas art

[calmparticles]

?Want a break from the ads? If you tap now to watch a short video you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! Yes, really! If you tap now you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! So what are you waiting for? I'm still waiting.. Why aren't you tapping? Don't you want 30 minutes of ad free music? If you tap now and watch the short video you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! It's that easy! If you want to be free from the ads forever considerIf it doesn't work for you, then you're using it wrong. Make sure you're using EVERY single filter. If you are currently, then de-select them and make sure they're updated and re-enable them. IT WILL WORK. There's no "it won't work" when you do this. It's either a 1 or a 0. Either a yes or no. Either a "it will work" or an "I am not using the adblocker correctly".

#hi!!! not dead!!! i've just had the most creative block ever DKFBNDF/ #here's some poppup whale/dolphin variations for anon! thank u sm vacc anon for the req and kind words - hope u doing good!!/ #all of u asks have been so sweet. bless u! <3/ #poppup #deltarune #myart #and a teeny tiny ambyu. 2 small for the tag. teeny/ #i'm very rusty at art-ing rn - if anyone has any reqs i would love to draw some! i still got lot's 2 go thru too tho <3/ #also i finally went back n edited all my image ids into the images themselves - i'll still reblog ids over @ calmparticles-id/ #cause 4000 characters will never b enough 4 me DKFJBDF i cannot write short ids 2 save my life or u eyes/ #anyways that's enough tags for now!/

[realbeefman]

stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh #some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2 #recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person #and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety #like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that #my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms #UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child #so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had #a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time #which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem! #its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it #and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome' #instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems! #anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now! #house md #hilson #greg house #james wilson #stacy warner

[deadwooddross]

I think my Kofi gets a little lost at times, so I went ahead and made a little gofundme to assist with my current predicament! The short of is: A very expensive panic attack! The longer of it is: I think covid went and made my anxiety way worse, kinda felt like I was dying, and unfortunately the only medical facilities open after 8 are the expensive ones (ER). Apparently I'm fine other than the fact my brain hates me and I now have a bill for about $1,800 haunting me SO, IF YOU'D LIKE...

#gofundme #signal boost #feel free to pass this around #I have not been in the best place for making art lately so I worry about how much I can raise thru comms alone without burning out #really just spent most of this past month getting by and Existing #it's not been the most fun #IM TRYIN REAL HARD TO GET BACK IN THE SADDLE BUT THIS HORSE KEEPS KICKIN ME IN THE HEAD

[p4nishers]

thinking abt how azi was truly crowley's sunlight through the millenniums. like, here's this demon who didn't mean to fall, who just asked questions and deep down he was still so good. and he is alone, he's the literally the emboidement of the first sin, and NOT by his own choosing. he's so alone and afraid and just wants a real conversation w someone, even if its an angel who'll most likely hate him. and here's the guardian of eden, who gave away his sword, that GOD gave to him, without asking a single question, to help the humans under his charge and he's kind to crowley and crowley is utterly fascinated. zira is basically the first protector, not only to adam and eve BUT CROWLEY TOO. he protects crowley from the first rain bc he's so fundamentally good and kind and crowley can't help seeking him out over the years. when they meet in rome, c is obviously far more withdrawn and angry bc of the things he's seen and was forced to do and there's az again, so happy to see him and even inviting him to dinner. everytime they met, even when crowley was saving azira, he also saved crowley by the simple act of being his friend.

#sunlight by hozier is literally this but with fancy words #no like UGH i don't know how to articulate this properly cause it's so much more than azi being kind to crowley. its being the only person #to see him. to truly know him and see thru the walls he built up and yes crowley may have been the one to seek him out and save him but #aziraphale LET him do it and never treated him with anything other than an equal and azi gave him a chance when nobody else did and UGHH #it most have meant so much to crowley after hell's cruelty #like i really do believe the simple fact that azi was unbashedly himself around him meant far more to crowley than empty kindness #EACH DAY YOU'D RISE W ME KNOW THAT I'D GLADLY BE THE ICARUS TO UR CERTAINTY OH MY SUNLIGHT SUNLIGHT SUNLIGHT #STRAP A WING TO ME DEAD TRAP CLAD HAPPILY WITH WAX MELTED I'D MEET THE SEA UNDER SUNLIGHT SUNLIGHT SUNLIGHT #ineffable husbands #good omens #good omens s2 #azicrow #good omens season 2 #aziraphale #crowley #hozier

[marcmorrigan]

get him kira

also this version w/out the overlay bc i think it looks fine w/out it but yall know me. i cant resist slapping a gradient on stuff

#death note #lawlight #l lawliet #light yagami #my art #this one was fun i breezed thru it pretty quick too. only a little over 8hrs #i did not set out with intent to center the vibes around 'no drug like me' by carly rae jepsen but that is what ended up happening #the b&w sweater is one of my most fave light looks. he looks SOOO cute in it to me #i have been on a kick about light touching Ls tummy lately. dont ask. or do! but idk if i have an answer #i wasnt gonna color this but there they are and here we are. etc #sketch

[lemongogo]

did anyone post the knives concept art here . w his skirt & choker . i want to rb it so bad

#its literally soo cool.. and w the stake / blade thing thru his chest… HII..twirling my hair #i still have like 15 chapters left but even so i do wish we saw more of him😭 #his appearances are so sporadic for the main antag and theres little development outside the seeds & july incidents #idk it wouldve been cute 2 see more of him . i think ^__^ #tbf most of the villain encounters are pretty rushed .like each gung ho gun gets like 5 chs of plot and thats it HSJAHA #trigun #knives #im going 2 post it anyways. idc😋 #legato

[nano30cm]

they're gym buddies :)

#reprise reprise #td lightning #td lindsay #td tyler #total drama fanart #hey. fuck you. [makes lightning the most beautiful boy in canada] #he and his dad had a lot of heart to hearts and learned about toxic masculinity and high expectations and now hes doing a lot better #still completely full of himself but hes earned it #i like to think lightning and lindsay met thru modelling #and now they meet up sometimes at the same flashy expensive gym to hang out and motivate each other #(its mostly lindsay cheering him on unnecessarily and lightning talking endlessly about muscle groups n calorie loads while she spaces out) #tyler has top surgery scars but hes always been kinda lithe so the incisions were small #if i were a better artist i'd draw in his extremely tacky goatee sorry tyler fans ive failed you #ALSO IM SO SORRY I WANTED TO GIVE HIM A GOLD STREAK TO MATCH LINDSAY #BUT INSTEAD I MADE HIM LOOK LIKE EGORAPTOR IM SORRY TYLER FANS IVE FAILED YOU #i like to imagine these three have so much positive energy and its an endless positive feedback loop between the three of them #tyler always wanting to get good at new sports and lightning encouraging him and getting excited about new maneuvers #and lindsay getting excited to try something new and tyler being super supportive even if she bombs and it goes on and on forever #every time i scroll up from these tags i get flashbanged by egoraptor again

[soulmvtes]

guys i am so excited for autumn and winter!! like i am actually getting giddy thinking about it

#it feels good to actually look forward to the future #i know that sounds bleak but for years i have just been consumed by the past and working on just trying to get thru the present that #thinking about the future has been a privilege and now i am sat here these days thinking about the littlest most mundane things in the #future and getting excited about it and its just so :') #diary #tiyas thoughts

[quarks-pussy]

If he's not gay, why is he called Captain "Archer"? What's he arching, his back?

#this has almost definitely been done before. inspired ofc by the iconic 'arch enemy' post. it has done amazing things for society #jonathan archer #star trek enterprise #ent #shrancher #(and others if you like ig) #original posts fresh from quark's pussy #also i have once again slept thru most of a day 😔 i need to stop being nocturnal

[shehungthemoon]

Just dumping my Ina Paha thoughts here. 🙃

First of all I did NOT know it was the 100th episode going into this, so i was very confused watching the montage at the end lol

I also had to click out and make sure I didn't click the wrong episode when the Pilot started playing at the beginning. When I heard Danny's voice on the phone instead of Hesse's I swear I got whiplash

It's filmed so well (bar where they reshot the pilot where Steve gets Danny on the phone instead of a dead dad, in which they literally forgot to put the same filter over the scene to make the stitching coherent) and I absolutely love the camera work they did with the white-room and the video projections. It felt very much a level above normal network television cinematography, especially the parts where Steve's going in and out of the hallucinations.

Steve finally FINALLY killing Wo-Fat was so cathartic, it should have happened ages ago but I'm willing to look past all the dumb ways he survived just to allow this incredible ending to his story.

Ina Paha gave me Kono doing... this. I owe Grace Park my whole life. Pls costuming department put her in hot pink again 💗

yes, it was a Steve episode. but Danny REALLY shone, first as the only resident Actual Detective figuring out what happened to Steve by the tire-tracks, rampaging through the compound steadily and efficiently and knocking people off without a pause, and then in Steve's mind shooting Hesse's kneecaps off?!?!?! That was CRAZY and probably not suppose to be as hot as it was and definitely made me want an ex-mobster AU immediately. Basically I have a competency kink and really like badass!danny shit 😊

Seeing Chin's long hair again made me swoon

My jaw dropped when I saw Jenna! I think it's really interesting that Steve still thinks of her so much, and I was surprised that she showed up in both the actual dreams and the montage. I definitely underestimated how much she impacted Steve's life, it seems, and I hate that we'll never hear him address that and we'll only know about it inadvertently like this.

(hand over the heart for how lori got like. one team shot. poor girlie.)

⭐I took the montage at the end as being flashbacks and memories that Steve was having as he left the compound. Looking at it through that lens certainly makes one unwell.

Obligatory squeal for Adam appearing just to save the day :))) look below to see the love of my life! :)))))) ⬇⬇⬇

Of course, the obligatory mcdanno bullet(s). It writes itself! The way Danny said Steve's name so small and broken when he found him. The way they look at each other on the ground, the pain their faces. I need an official apology statement from Scott and Alex for it. Can we talk about what flashes by during the montage at the end? (IMO it being Steve's memories.) So much Danny.

The first thing is Danny and Steve's first meeting. Jfc. The showrunners milk it SO MUCH and who's complaining

The big, rocking hug. The hands clasping underground. Gracie of course. And then Danny collapsing from the bioweapon, which to be honest I was NOT expecting to see at all--it felt like a genuinely strange choice to include in there and it really ONLY makes sense if you go along with all that being what Steve's remembering. Even then, I was surprised to see it, so basically this is Hawaii Five-Oh making mcdanno gayer than even I was wanting them to be. Steve still thinks about that? From so long ago? Even with so many other close calls in between then and now? Good fucking lord ok then loverboy that's WILD. Canon accepted ig this show is just pure whump.

Danny goes through all of this just days after losing his brother and killing Reyes. JFC can we please address that. I need a 30k introspection fic to let me into this man's mind rn.

The Wo Fat v.s. Steve fight at the end was INCREDIBLE. I would love to give the choreographer's hand a shake, it's some of the best work I've seen on television in a long time. It was impressive for a procedural like this. It was long and physical and you truly didn't know what the outcome was going to be; it everything that their built-up relationship deserved for a conclusion. It also happening with a Steve coming off of hours of torture and drugging was crazy (guess we finally know who would win a PVP if they were both at full strength!). That being said I was really impressed with Wo Fat's capabilities and physical prowess, I was not expecting it to be so even and close to the line. I actually jumped when Steve LIFTED him up into the lighting fixture. We do not talk about Steve's (Alex's???) raw upper-body strength enough.

Anyway. Electricity in the water play. The physicality hell that this gif below is ⬇. Fire extinguishers and loaded needles. Crazy martial arts. Chair and buckets (holy shit did y'all see the force with which Wo Fat SHOT that bucket?????) flying. All's fair. I loved it.

The shot going right through the forehead, clean. I don't know how to put into words why that's so monumental to me but it is.

The mystery bad lady was SO intriguing, I wish we got more from her... How does she know Wo Fat? Why was she entrusted with all that information on him and Steve and especially Doris? Absolutely where did she come from, what was her name? Why did I have a huge huge hot crush on her? All important questions. (Goes to show that h50 CAN give us some more genuine badass, not just there to date someone women characters, just explicitly choose not to. I'm holding out for Ellie to remain platonic so hard right now.)

Almost forgot Danny in that black Hawaiian shirt. Will be whimpering over that image forever. The whole episode I was trying to focus on the underlining betrayal mystery they were laying out but every time my brain started working too hard Scott with his stupid waist and those flower patterns just started flashing into my head

Again, are you seeing this:

I'm unwell and so so happy.

H50 you're a gem when you want to be.

#just a post for me really #h50 #ina paha #i like to imagine that after this danny and steve just curl up in a house with doors locked and shades shut for a week and cry on each othe #steve mcgarrett #mcdanno #hawaii five 0 #i've been going thru h50 chronologically very very slowly for years but have watched p much most of the show on reruns #but god am i so so glad that i just so happened to never catch this one. i'm so glad I watched it when it was suppose to be watched

[orcelito]

chewing biting gnawing on plaster etc

bonus:

yea <3

#speculation nation #fanny watches trigun #vashwood #they drive me INSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE #& then there's the 98 goofiness of wolfwood cutting thru the seriousness of the scene #but Then Again in the manga he does a similar thing. just with his stomach growling and him looking at vash with the most Pitiful pleading #bc he doesnt have any fuckin Money lmao #i cant imagine watching this scene when i was growing up. i'd have probably been a diehard wolfwood fan long long ago if i'd had the chance #making up for lost time Now!

[just-another-obsessed-fangirl]

theories as to where Grace got the cigarette she was smoking after fucking Max's ghost:

she has actually secretly been an active smoker for a long time and always carries a pack with her

she bought a pack of cigarettes when she was on the run from the cops because she was stressed, and figuring that she had already disappointed the Lord by touching herself and lying to the police and dismembering a body, decided that she might as well relieve that stress by taking up smoking

Max died with a pack of cigs and a lighter on him and they stayed with him when he turned ghost and Grace pocketed them from his clothes after they had sex

she just found them in the school or on the ground somewhere after the Lords in Black meeting, and perhaps her mind made the association between sex and cigarettes and that's how she came up with the idea of giving up her chastity to end Max's reign of terror

Grace had immediately thought of giving up her virginity as the sacrifice after the Lords in Black meeting, and the entire time Steph and Pete are running away and tearfully coming to terms with Steph having to kill Pete to stop Max, Grace is running around the school or off to a drug store for cigarettes because she felt having a smoke after was that necessary

#grace chasity #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #seriously where did she get that cigarette ive been wondering abt it a lot #her being a secret smoker doesnt seem very in character to me #but weirdly i feel like it makes the most logical sense? #itd easily explain why she has cigarettes on her and she seemed pretty comfortable with smoking #she wasnt like coughing or anything. like she couldve done it before at least once. #2nd most plausible to me was maybe that it was actually max's?? but idk doesn't seem that much more plausible than some of the other ones #her looking for cigs could explain where she was when the steph/pete stuff was happening but not necessarily explain the other way around #though maybe she did think it was necessary. grace almost definitely didn't have accurate sex ed and was sheltered #maybe thru like the media that she could watch she just believed smoking after was the expected thing #or some church sex ed lesson she had that combined abstinence only and no smoking messages #idk. it's 4 am. i dont know what im doing. #my posts

[pcktknife]

hi i don't play splatoon. who are you sending to hell and why.

shiver i need her dead. 7 splatfests and her teams won 4 of them

#this is actually the first time ive been on any other team than fryes (yellow) and im still losing #there have been 8 fests and i have only been on the winning side once so im a liiiiil mad just a lil (boiling with anger) #also literally every one of these shivers team is the most obnoxious to play against #its not fun dont buy splatoon im actively advocating against it just watch a video essay and join the fun thru that #asks #anon