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#been watching adventure time recently...
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petrigrof family headcanons
Simon:
When Marcy gets sick he often stops after work to pick up a little present
Lets Marcy have too many sweets
Makes up funny songs about something like washing the dishes to make Marceline giggle
Can't use the GPS
Uses funny words instead of swears when Marceline's listening ("oh breadballs, oh breadballs, oh breadballs") (this one is implied canon)
Every once in a while will drop some insane piece of 'Simon lore' as Marcy likes to call it, particularly when she gets older, such as, "Oh yeah, I was big into wrestling when I was in highschool, I dislocated the principal's elbow," to which Marceline often asks "WHERE WAS THIS PIECE OF INFORMATION MY WHOLE LIFE???"
Ironically, in a timeline where he never found the crown, he likes to play in the snow with Marceline...
Betty:
The stricter of the two
She and Simon occasionally argue late into the night--about whether or not Pluto is a planet (Simon says yes, Betty says no, Simon keeps trying to jokingly convince Marcy to side with him)
Likes to have stuff like school/activities planned out, on the calendar, etc., works best with a physical schedule
If Marcy expresses interest in something, even if Betty's never heard of it, she'll enable it to the best of her abilities and do research and just be super supportive (she hated hard metal into Marceline got into it)
Can use GPS
Simon is more inclined to keep Marceline safe, while Betty encourages independence and autonomy and learning to use freedom responsibly
Makes good hot cocoa
Cautions Marcy to be careful on the Internet a lot. It's just a fixation of hers
Taught Marceline how to punch properly
And make her own meals because again, she wants Marcy to know how to be independent if necessary
Marcy:
Knows she can get more sweets/later bedtime/etc. from Simon and takes full advantage of that
Doesn't actually care whether or not Pluto is a planet but constantly confirms and withdraws her opinions to mess with Simon
Falls asleep cuddling Hambo wrapped up in cozy blankets and sheets, Simon and Betty often sing lullabies (and, especially Simon, read her way more than one bedtime story)
Learns the ukulele
Likes it when Betty brushes her hair
Was bad at math at a young age and asked Simon for help; now she's doing much better but continues pretending to be terrible, again, to mess with Simon
Happy, not traumatized
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I love being around my group of friends that’re all also Autistic!
I love hanging out with people that understand that silent parallel play isn’t an inherently rude gesture and that sometimes you don’t have the energy to talk/hold a conversation but still want to be around the people that make you happy!
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politemagic · 21 days
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accidentally captured quite a cinematic video at the tennessee aquarium yesterday & i decided to share it🌊🐟
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tiredgray · 7 months
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trouble in farmworld
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satirn · 7 months
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they stole my heart; not once, not thrice! they sing, they dance, they call themselves twice!
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sophieswundergarten · 11 months
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Alrighty, I finally had a minute to sit down and smack out some of my thoughts. @itsgoghtime, I am tagging you as a full participant :)
Brought to you by the Moth Realization that I am in charge and can do whatever I want
Okay, so we're leaning more into the mirror-world stuff, with certain things being representations of real life and such.
It opens with Madge flying around the house and landing outside the window where Nathaniel is sitting, just as a little nod to the owl :>
Nathaniel is trying to fit in with his brother's family, but there are so many of them
One day, when he's trying to get some peace and quiet and read the copy of Ivanhoe that he swiped from Nicholas' office, the kids all burst into the room falling over each other and laughing and chattering and making an absurd amount of noise
Nicholas is, of course, right behind them, giggling and trying to keep from falling asleep
Nathaniel fully loses it, dropping the book and yelling at the children.
Nicholas ushers them out, and tries to calm his brother. It doesn't work, and Nathaniel just lets all of his frustrations and pent up resentment come out, shouting at his brother and leaving Nicholas stunned (and hurt)
Nathaniel storms out, going on a walk and trying to calm down after all the things he said. (He hadn't intended to get that upset, but it had all spilled over and gotten a little too close to comfort to a vulnerable heart-to-heart, so he had to leave in order to save face)
After a bit, he feels suitable under control again, and enters the house, only to find it totally empty
The place is ransacked, a complete disaster with books and papers scattered and flapping in the breeze from open windows
Nathaniel searches, but there's no one to be found, so he heads to Nicholas' office
There, he sees a suspiciously spotless room, and the Sister (We're calling her Eurus for simplicity's sake) sitting on top of Nicholas' desk, reading Ivanhoe
(She looks spooky and flashy, somehow more dramatic than Curtain but in a more old-fashioned style like Nicholas. Also purple, to round out the cool-colour sibling trio. Just look at this, because it's amazing)
Nathaniel demands to know what happened to his brother and the others, but she just laughs menacingly
Closing the book, she swings her legs off the desk, smiling at him
"Wouldn't you like to know, Natty?"
Nathaniel is affronted, and tries to cover his confusion with Awkward Curtain Bluffing
Eurus introduces herself, and mocks him further by revealing a model of Nicholas with a flourish, toying with it as they speak
"This is what you wanted, right? To be free of little Nicky and his nuisances? Now you can read your books and make your silly plans in peace."
Nathaniel vehemently states that he'd rather have his brother back to deal with on his own, please and thank you /s
(And his plans are not silly. They are genius)
"Oh, but he's mine now. I can't just give back such a fun toy. Besides, Nicholas will forget all about you soon enough, and then I'll have him and his friends to myself, permanently"
Nathaniel is, obviously, perturbed by this, and demands that she stop whatever game she is playing and return his brother and his associates
She laughs at Nathaniel again, and figurine in her hand turns into a pocket watch, with an abnormal thirteen hours on it
"Well, I do love games. And a game is no fun without some stakes to keep things exciting, so here are the rules: You have thirteen hours to win all of them back, or Nicholas stays with me. No more, no less"
She hands the pocket watch over, which starts ticking as soon as it hits Nathaniel's palm
He looks up to ask her who on earth she thinks she is, but she's gone, and so is the office
Nathaniel is standing outside a massive labyrinth, with no discernible entrance
As he's looking around, who should he find but Dr. Garrison!
Or, not Dr. Garrison, since she's wearing strange clothes and looks at him with confusion
(It doesn't matter, but I think she'd be wearing a typical fantasy poet shirt/tunic, red vest, and probably black pants. Her hair's braided, instead of cropped short or that longer style she kept in a bun)
Nathaniel addresses her and demands to know what's going on, and why she's a part of this ridiculous farce
Not-Garrison responds to her name, but maintains that she's never seen him before. She explains that she's the caretaker of the Labyrinth
Nathaniel sarcastically asks if she'll let him enter, and she shows him the gate
Nathaniel enters the Labyrinth alone and is confronted with a huge, apparently endless hallway that continues on in the same way for as far as he can see
(Part of me wants to include the Atrocious Hallway Painting just because)
Eventually, he stops, seeing that he's wasted a lot of time, and still gotten nowhere
As he's standing there, cursing the insanity of his situation, SQ appears!
(Also in different clothes! I know these aren't important, but I am a highly visual person and I love the artistic style of the movie, so we're going to have a lot of side-notes about how stuff looks)
(SQ is wearing a dark blue jacket [Slightly reminiscent of his dad's colors] and a red scarf, and carrying his sketchbook)
Nathaniel is startled by this, of course, but SQ introduces himself as if they haven't met before
Nathaniel carefully asks him what he's doing there, and SQ tells him he's been drawing some of the interesting creatures that live in the Labyrinth
SQ then inquires as to what Nathaniel is doing, and he exasperatedly explains that he's trying to get to the centre, but the whole thing is nonsensical and the endless hallway must be a trick designed to keep him from winning
SQ asks why he doesn't take a break, but when Nathaniel refuses, he says (somewhat cryptically) that maybe he just needs to look at things from a different perspective
**Clever Metaphor Plot Shenanigans Ensue**
And Nathaniel enters a new part of the Labyrinth
CUT TO WHAT EURUS IS DOING
Nicholas awakens in a spooky castle
He wanders through, looking for other people, but finds no one
Eventually, he comes across some guards, but they do not acknowledge him in any way, so he continues searching
He enters a weird throne room/office thing filled with books
(It looks like a warped version of his office, with lots of shelves and stacks of books all around, empty picture frames, a potted violet in the corner, and a big, impressive throne made of books in the middle)
He finds his copy of Ivanhoe on the ground, and opens it
This, and all the other books, are blank
Eurus appears, sitting on the throne and watching him
Nicholas tries to politely and calmly ask about what's going on, but she ignores his questions
Instead, she asks him about why he's bothered, since he obviously doesn't care about his family
And of course Nicholas is aghast at this and starts panicking over what she's done to the others
She goes on a spiel about how he left Nathaniel and he doesn't really care about his family and how he's only being so nice to Number Two/Rhonda/Milligan/the kids out of guilt
(She's kind of a terrible person in this, in case you hadn't noticed)
And Nicholas is horribly upset and trying to keep a lid on his emotions, when she gets up and walks over to him
"Now, wouldn't you like to be free of that guilt? To not have to worry about all of those strays you took in to make yourself feel like a good person? You're better off alone, you know that, so why not embrace it?"
CUT BACK TO NATHANIEL
Nathaniel comes across two doors, with Jackson and Jillson standing in front of them!
(Jackson is wearing a royal blue doublet/pants, and Jillson is wearing the same but in red. Both have floppy bard hats on)
Together, they communicate that one of them only tells the truth, and one only tells lies
(I've learned this is called a type of logic puzzle called "Knights and Knaves!)
One door leads closer to the castle, and one to "certain doom"
After some typical banter and circular logic, Nathaniel discovers which door to go through
He enters, and falls down into an oubliette
Garrison appears to let him out, and tries to get him to leave the Labyrinth
Nathaniel persuades her to guide him to the castle, and the two set off
(Garrison somewhat reluctantly)
They continue on their way for a bit, before Eurus shows up again
Nathaniel takes the opportunity to complain and ask why on earth she's doing this
She chooses not to answer this, and instead asks Garrison what she thinks she's doing
Garrison responds with cagey assurances that she hasn't forgotten her job in this, and Eurus threatens that she better not
Nathaniel demands to know what she's done with Nicholas, but she tells him that showing him would be cheating, and she isn't about to let the game end early
He asserts his confidence in being able to beat her, at which point she offers to make it more of a challenge
Eurus disappears and a huge machine starts pushing its way through the hall, about to crush Nathaniel and Garrison
Luckily, they escape, and find themselves in an upper part of the Labyrinth
In that area is Kate and Reynie!
(Reynie is wearing a brown tunic with a belt, and Kate is wearing a red tailcoat with feather designs)
The two of them are bickering about the way to the castle, and Nathaniel hesitantly approaches
He's used to the way things work now, and resigns himself to the fact that they are not going to be the people he knows normally
Eventually, he's able to get some even more cryptic advice from them, and he picks a random direction in frustration
Garrison attempts to leave him, but he steals her notebook and makes her agree to help him
Immediately after this, sounds of fighting come from nearby, and Garrison runs off
That's all I've got for now, but I will be adding onto this in a bit! Apparently this is the new thing my brain is refusing to let go, so we'll see what happens
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galacticrain · 7 months
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Day 3: Formal
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why are his eyes so big-
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bonyato · 8 months
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See, yokai watch can be a pretty great comfort game. as long as you ignore The Horrors
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beaversatemygrandma · 2 years
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Y’all. I need some horror movie/book recommendations stat
Nothing that’s all cheap jump scares and gore. Or slashers. I can’t do gore. Unless it’s important to the story. Love me some story. (ex: Saw is Loathed. Don’t even.) But I LOVE psychological or paranormal ones If there’s any recent ones that you’ve liked, tell me. >:3
#taks speaks#but me and the partner of sorts are going to do some early spooky season shit when i'm around them#we're talking marathoning horror movies bc i can't handle them alone but REALLY want to watch some#and bc i keep reading horror and loving it but movies just don't work bc ew. gore. and cheap ass jump scares which Suck#the book ones are just for me bc i have been super into reading horror lately til like 3am#like my dad is trying to go on a ghost hunting tour while we're there#and now this#and i'm just having halloween in may thanks#also im still traumatized from this one movie my ex took me to when i was 16 and it was about a bunch of student researchers#who got stuck on an island with cannibals and it was fucked up#so whatever that one is is loathed too#btw she's also getting me to play until dawn so that's also a thing. we're gonna have a helluva time#esp in that haunted ass old city#love that haunted ass old city#btw the one person i know irl here: look up investigations of the fort. it's fuckin cool.#ghost adventures did one and my dad told me i crawled into one of the chambers where they tortured prisoners when i was like 2#we didn't know thats what the room was until we watched that and i just crawled right into that nondescript hole in the wall apparently#so that's fun. i was apparently in a torture chamber that was recently uncovered#like we're talking a room that had prisoners chained up and they BLOCKED IT OFF with fuckin coquina#they found BONES in shackles in there dude#honestly. kinda fucked up. but still. that's in the hometown. the haunted ass old city.#fun parts of having a town older than the country itself ig
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bigcryptiddies · 7 months
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This is the first time since I started watching that I’m commenting about it at all but a GAY MAN with his BOYFRIEND in the room saying “it’s called top boy for a reason” and then neglecting to give said reason is wild and out of this world to me I need to have a talk with him fag to dyke
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skelly-bean · 8 months
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It’s the annual sunrise day!
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sansaorgana · 27 days
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— THROWN TO THE WOLVES (IX)
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PART ONE || PART TWO || PART THREE PART FOUR || PART FIVE || PART SIX PART SEVEN || PART EIGHT || PART TEN
PAIRING — Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!Reader // Atreides!OC
SUMMARY — Feyd-Rautha focuses on bringing back the spice production to full efficency while his wife plots against The Baron. The ghosts of her past are haunting her in the Arrakeen Palace where her family lived and died.
AUTHOR’S NOTE — It’s written as an usual x Reader fic without describing anything about the Reader’s looks but I still classified it as an OC as well since she is Paul Atreides’ half-sister. This chapter is quite long so I think the next one will be the last...? Of course I am open to write some additional chapters with these characters in the future 👀 Thank you everyone supporting my work 🙏🏻😭 I don't know when I'll post the next / last chapter. Next week I hope but it might take me more time than usual because I have to catch up with uni work finally lol
WARNINGS — arranged marriage, mentions of sexual activities (no actual smut), violent behaviour, death
WORD COUNT — 8,170
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
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THROWN TO THE WOLVES (IX)
Feyd-Rautha was barely able to hide his excitement on that day. Becoming the Governor of Arrakis was a huge deal – not only it proved that he was his uncle’s worthy successor if he was given such responsibility, but also Arrakis remained the most important planet under the Harkonnen rule due to the spice resources. Controlling this planet was like controlling the universe.
Before the official ceremony would begin, he had to deal with the formalities, all dressed up in the accurate black leather attire and pride on his face. Then his wife entered the throne room accompanied by the guards and from that moment he could only focus on her.
Her black leather dress’ design was mimicking his uniform’s one and her face was hidden by the veil made of chains and gemstones. She walked past him and bowed down in front of his uncle. Feyd knew that was the custom but it still made him clench his jaw and blood boil.
She straightened herself and fixed her dress on her abdomen as it was getting too tight in that area. Feyd smirked at the sight of her womb getting visibly swollen with his child. With his heir.
His wife signed the contract about him becoming the new Governor of Arrakis as the Atreides signet ring sparkled on her pinky finger. The truth was, her signature was not required there at all but the Baron loved to humiliate her in this way. However, she managed to do it with such dignity. Feyd wondered if she still felt like an Atreides. That signet ring wasn’t leaving her pinky finger at all ever since it had been adjusted to her size.
He wondered if it was a symbol of power for her or did she keep it for sentimental reasons.
Sentiment. That word was new in Feyd-Rautha’s dictionary. But now, when he watched his wife standing behind him with her hands clasped on her womb, he swore he could feel it.
He couldn’t explain most of the things happening inside his body at the sight of her. It was more than plain desire or sexual attraction. In fact, he had had lovers more adventurous than her and surely more experienced. But he had never met a woman like that.
She made him think of his mother, especially now, when she was expecting his child. He wondered what kind of mother she would be. Would she… love… his son? Or would he be another pawn in her court games…?
His mother was cold and distant but only recently Feyd had realised it was no reason to kill her. Was it possible that some part of him regretted it? His uncle had manipulated him into doing something he couldn’t truly understand back in the day – an act impossible to undo and sealing his murderous fate.
But even his mother had never touched him so gently like his wife. And he knew that it was weak to crave that but he did – he craved more from her and her only. He would kill anyone looking at her the wrong way but she could disrespect him in any way and he’d still be on his knees for her. He had never been as obedient to his uncle. He had feared him as a little boy and then he had hated him, waiting for his turn on the Harkonnen throne. The obedience to his wife was dictated by admiration and… sentiment.
Yes, that was a new word in his dictionary.
And his harpies… Well, he had been attached to them but killing them had felt cold – he hadn't even felt sorry.
The room slowly filled with people who were to witness his nomination for the Governor of Arrakis. Feyd stood proudly and already imagined the day he would be nominated The Baron Harkonnen.
And when his uncle officially named him the Governor, Feyd grabbed his face and brought it down for an angry kiss that was a mockery of gratitude. In that kiss there was a promise of the upcoming succession of the much more important title. In that kiss there was the Harkonnen poison and everyone cheered but the Baron knew.
He knew.
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You were laying on your bed on the ship inside your cabin and playing with the Atreides signet ring on your pinky finger. It felt surreal to realise that under different circumstances you would had made the same journey a few months earlier with your family when your father had been gifted Arrakis.
Your stream of thoughts was interrupted abruptly by Feyd walking inside the cabin.
“Apparently, Rabban has no idea we are coming,” he announced with a smirk and sat on the bed next to you, waiting for your approval like a little boy after telling his mother exciting news.
“Why do you hate him so?” You only asked and his smirk dropped in an instant. “Is he not your brother?”
“Do you love yours?” Feyd tilted his head a little as he watched you carefully.
“It doesn’t matter anymore,” you smiled sadly at him and caressed your bump. “He is dead and so is his older sister. But in that relationship, I was Rabban and Paul was you.”
“I am better than Rabban. He means nothing,” Feyd shrugged his arms, visibly annoyed at the fact that you scolded him and started asking questions instead of sharing his excitement.
“Do you think you will catch a tan on Arrakis?” You changed the subject and chuckled at the confused glance he gave you.
“I’m not going there for vacation,” he moved closer to you on the bed and placed his hand on your womb. You felt its warmth spreading all over your body. “And neither are you,” he reminded you.
“I know.”
“The medic says that the Arrakis might do you good. The sun and all,” Feyd explained, a bit awkwardly.
“Yes, I know. But it is also not a very pleasant environment. It is hot and dry,” you sighed. “And full of spice.”
“You will have everything you want and need there, my Baroness,” Feyd leaned in to suck on your neck – his idea of a romantic kiss. You leaned back and sighed at the pleasure.
“How big do you think he is now?” You caressed your husband’s hand gently and he moved away from the crook of your neck to look into your eyes. “Our son. Do you think he is still smaller than your hand?” You bit on your lower lip. “I like to imagine him so little that your hand covers him whole when you place it on my womb.”
“Do you think of him often?” Feyd asked and you furrowed your brows at his question.
“Of our son?” You wanted to make sure and he nodded. “All the time,” you answered with all honesty. “And you…?” You asked, carefully.
“All the time,” Feyd nodded and looked down at his hand caressing your bump.
“And what do you think?” You were scared to know the answer but you needed to know it.
“I’m proud to have a son. He will be the Baron one day and I will train his body to become even stronger than mine. And you will train his mind to be sharp like yours,” Feyd looked at you. He was serious but you chuckled at that as you caressed his cheek with your thumb.
“Just promise me that you won’t do to him what has been done to you,” you whispered as the smile disappeared from your face. “Please,” you pleaded.
“It has to be done,” was all he said as his jaw clenched.
“No, it doesn’t,” you shook your head. You could feel the tears forming in your eyes. Thinking of what your husband had gone through was painful enough but imagining your son going through the same thing was even worse.
“How else do you want him to be a great warrior?” Feyd laughed at you. “He will need discipline.”
“Discipline does not have to mean abuse. I want him to follow your steps out of admiration and respect. Do you want your own son to feel the same way towards you that you feel towards your uncle?” You raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you want your son to plot how to get rid of you? To wait impatiently for you to finally die and rot?”
“No, I do not,” he admitted after a short while of hesitation.
“Then we will do it my way,” you stated.
“I don’t want my children to be weaklings,” Feyd drawled as his hand squeezed your womb possessively.
“Neither do I,” you assured him. “And it insults me greatly that you think that I would raise them to be weak. I hate weakness,” you gave him a stern look.
“There’s your answer why I hate my brother,” he said and moved down to lay his head on your womb. You carefully caressed his temples in a soothing manner.
You still had to play little games with him sometimes, you assumed it would always be like this one way or another. But you loved him. Yes, you loved him.
Princess Atreides would rather die than admit that. For the Harkonnen na-baroness it was difficult to admit her feelings, too. But you didn’t mind giving up and finally allowing yourself to confess the truth. It was making you feel less lonely in the world. Perhaps it was love dictated by the fact you had no one else around. Perhaps you loved the way he worshipped you. Perhaps you loved him for the way he was making you feel so powerful and important. But at the end of the day, it was love. Not that you planned to say it out loud.
It was true that you hated weakness but Feyd-Rautha was yours. If he was to die, you’d die, too. You had no home to go to, no family member to turn to. All you had was him. Him and the dream of the life you two were supposed to live one day.
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You knew that the black colour was a bad choice for the planet like Arrakis. But you couldn’t imagine wearing anything else. As a Harkonnen you had to establish dominance in your House’s way. Your arrival dress had to be black and made of a flowy material with a semi-transparent veil to protect your skin from the hot rays of sunshine and the wind full of harsh sand and spice.
The very first step you took outside the ship nearly made you dizzy. It felt so odd after so many months to feel the sunlight on your skin and to see the colours while not being inside any building – even if the colours of Arrakis were not many.
“My Lady,” Astra and Cara followed you outside, both widening their big, black Harkonnen eyes at the sight of the desert, “are you alright?”
“Yes, my girls, I am,” you held their hands.
“Let’s go inside, na-baroness,” the medic joined you. “At this time of the day it is recommended not to go out,” he explained and you nodded before following him with your girls, guards and all the servants carrying your things. Feyd was already inside the palace with his uncle and dealing with an embarrassed and humiliated Rabban.
You looked up through your veil and examined the sight of the building in front of you. It was not much cosier than the Harkonnen fortress on Giedi Prime. On the inside the design was raw as well, but some part of you was already used to such an environment.
“My Lady,” one of the servants approached you. He had already been living there for quite some time now as he had come to Arrakis with Count Rabban. “Shall we prepare the rooms for you and na-baron or will you take the room that belonged to the previous Duke? Count Rabban did not take it, therefore we left it untouched,” he informed you and you froze for a second.
“My father’s room? It is left untouched?” You gasped.
“Yes, my Lady na-baroness, Duchess Atreides,” the man was bowing down so low you became concerned about his spine.
“Enough of the titles, take me there,” you ordered and then you turned around at your servants. “Wait here. I will let you know what room I am taking.”
“My Lady,” they all nodded as you followed the man alone. You didn’t want even Astra and Cara around you because you couldn’t tell what your reaction to your father’s chambers would be.
“Behind that door, na-baroness,” the servant bowed down and pointed at the doors. You pushed them and let them close behind you as your body trembled at the sight. You lifted the veil off of your face and looked around.
The room was arranged in a similar way as your father’s chamber back on Caladan. Duke Leto hated any form of mess and he had everything always put in its place. You wandered around and touched all the personal belongings – his chair, his desk… You froze at the sight of the pictures he had there. One picture was of him and Lady Jessica, the other one was of you and Paul. There was even a tiny picture from his wedding day with your mother. You remembered that picture very well as you had once asked him about it. He had told you he kept it out of respect for her and for you.
You had no idea he would still keep it even if you weren’t around.
You opened the desk. Someone had been rummaging inside – most likely to take the jewellery and the important documents. But the personal letters stayed. Personal letters and… a small doll.
You had given it to him at the age of four and asked him to take care of it. You didn’t expect he had been keeping it all these years.
“Oh, father…” you whispered and brought the doll close to your heart. “One day, it will be my daughter’s,” you decided and were about to walk away from the desk when you spotted an unfinished letter.
Carefully and curiously, you picked the paper up and read the few sentences that he had written down before taking a break and never being able to go back to it again.
Dear Daughter, I am aware of the anger and all the resentment you must be holding in your heart towards me. I am not asking for much but please, write back to us. If not for me, then do it for Paul. We both miss you dearly and we are worried when you are not answering our letters personally. All we want to know is if you are safe and…
Your eyes widened and your heart skipped a beat. So, they had been writing to you. All this time... And only Baron Harkonnen knew how many letters had been kept away from you. Of course he had lied to you. How could you be so stupid…?
You clenched your fist and then threw the crumpled paper back into the drawer. It didn’t change anything now. It brought you some peace, deep down, but it didn’t mean anything anymore. It wouldn't take back time.
You approached your father’s bed and spotted a robe laying there, discarded. He would wear that over his nightwear when he was leaving the room in the middle of the night due to an emergency. You assumed that the Harkonnen invasion was an emergency so sudden and violent that he had no time to put it on.
The robe was silk and dark green with the Atreides emblem on the chest. You sat on the edge of the bed and put the doll down on your lap before taking the robe in your hands and squeezing it as you brought it to your face. It still faintly smelled like him. It smelled like your father.
You buried your face in the silk and closed your eyes, remembering his embrace. For a short while it was almost as if he was still there, holding you and telling you it would be alright.
But it wasn’t alright. It hadn’t been alright and his daughter had died. You couldn’t tell when it happened exactly. Had Princess Atreides die in that cell on the night before her wedding? Or when she had been locked up after the Baron had told her about going to Arrakis and killing her family? Or maybe she had died somewhere in the meantime. Perhaps when she had seen Feyd taking an innocent life for the first time. It was really hard to tell but she was definitely gone now.
You startled at the sound of someone entering the room without knocking. It was Feyd – no one else would dare to do that.
“I’ve been looking for you,” he said and froze at the sight of you holding your father’s robe. “Are you alright?”
“Yes,” you stood up and threw the robe on the floor as you picked the doll up. “Burn it,” you ordered. “And we’ll take a different room. They can clean up this one,” you approached him and handed him the doll in your hands. He took it, confused.
“What is this?” He asked.
“Our next child will be a daughter and you will give it to her when she is born,” you told him sternly.
He snorted at first but then he realised that you had been dead serious. The doll held lots of significance and meaning to you and he didn’t even have any idea how much you trusted him with it.
Feyd nodded his head after a long while and he looked down at the doll, awkwardly holding her in his pale hands.
“My Lady, what is your decision?” The servant knocked upon the door and joined you.
“I don’t want this room, clean it up,” you told him.
“Do you want a room next to your husband’s, na-baroness?” He asked.
“No, we will share one room,” you told him and he bowed down before leaving you quietly. “Unless you want your own,” you laid your eyes on Feyd.
“I want what you want.”
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You were walking through the endless desert. It was like the oceans back on Caladan but instead of the water there was sand. The heat did not bother you and you did not feel tired at all. However, all this walking seemed pointless. You didn’t know where you were or where to go.
And then you spotted someone on the horizon. A tiny figure in a stillsuit and your heart skipped a beat. Was it one of the Fremen? You didn’t want to find out but your legs kept walking anyway as if you had no control over your body.
The figure remained motionless. After a while you spotted it was a man. You wondered why he was not reacting at all, seeing you walking towards him. Perhaps he was waiting for you. But why?
When you were close enough to see his face, you gasped. It was your brother, Paul Atreides, with his eyes blue from the spice, wearing a Fremen armour and he seemed to stare in the distance. Now you realised that he couldn’t see you even though you were facing him.
“Paul?” You asked as your body stopped walking with your face inches away from his. “Brother?”
He startled a little and furrowed his brows. Did he hear you…?
“Paul,” you said again and his eyes found yours.
“Sister,” his voice was different now. It was rough and held no affection. It made your blood run cold.
“What are we doing here?” You asked sadly. “Let’s go back home.”
“What is home now?”
“Caladan,” you explained.
“We cannot.”
You woke up abruptly and sat up, breathing heavily as you felt the sweat running down your spine and forehead. You had never experienced a dream so vivid and realistic as this one.
You assumed it was because of Arrakis. The heat could cause such a vision or perhaps it was all that buried deep down grief after losing your family. Being here now, in that palace where they had lived and died, it was making you feel odd.
Feyd woke up as well and you heard him reaching out for the knife underneath his pillow.
“It’s alright,” you told him. “I’ve just had a bad dream.”
“It’s your first night on Arrakis. Maybe it’s the spice messing with your head,” you felt his hand rubbing your back. “Lay down, come to me,” he whispered and you did.
You laid your head on his chest and hugged him tight like a scared child. Your heart was pounding and you felt dizzy. But you didn’t want to tell your husband what the dream was. He didn’t ask anyway.
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On the next day you were gathered in a conference room. Everyone was there, the Baron and Count Rabban, too. You hoped that they would go back to Giedi Prime but it seemed like they wanted to stay and ensure that the spice production would go back to normal. You tried not to make a face at that as you watched the hologram globe of Arrakis in front of you on display.
“Shouldn’t the Fremen delegation greet the new Governor of Arrakis?” You asked.
“The Fremen do not have negotiations with us anymore. We are in the state of war, na-baroness,” one of the engineers answered you with a nod of his head.
“Let it be war, then,” you nodded back.
“What is causing the biggest problems?” Your husband asked as he gave his brother a contemptuous look. “Apart from the bad governing of the resources.”
“The Fremen have a new leader, a mysterious Muad’Dib,” The Baron explained and for some reason a shiver went down your spine at the mention of the name. You didn’t know why because it didn’t sound sinister or dangerous.
“And what about him?” Feyd asked. You could hear he was bored of the meeting and wanted real action as soon as possible.
“They are destroying our machinery and killing our soldiers, slowing down the production. He is unstoppable. Like a shadow,” Rabban explained and Feyd snorted at him.
“My big scary brother failed to deal with one Fremen savage,” he drawled. “Instead of slaughtering them all.”
“And what would our Baroness do?” The Baron interrupted Feyd and stared at you with a smirk. Suddenly, the whole room laid their eyes on you and you blinked a few times, surprised.
“Why would you ask a woman that?” Rabban inquired and Feyd hissed at him for that remark.
“Because I want to know her insight. Our Baroness happens to have interesting ideas,” Baron teased, his squinted eyes never leaving yours.
“I would oppose slaughtering the Fremen,” you stated.
“I’ve told you, she’s just a woman,” Rabban laughed.
“She is the Governess of Arrakis and your na-baroness and you will respect her,” Feyd barked.
“Enough!” You banged the fist on the table and the sound echoed through the chamber full of the Harkonnen servants and engineers widening their eyes at you. “Both of you!” You snapped. “Acting like children,” you scolded. “I am not the Governess of Arrakis, Feyd,” you laid your eyes on him and he looked a bit taken aback by your outburst. “That title does not work that way. You’re the Governor and I am your wife. However,” you looked at the Baron again. He was smirking all that time. “I do not think slaughtering them will bring us profit. They know the desert and the spice more than we do. We need them as obedient allies. But in order to have them as allies, we have to defeat them and their will to fight. We need to hit them with aggression that they have not yet seen nor experienced in their worst nightmares,” you raised your chin up.
“And that aggression is Feyd-Rautha,” Baron nodded at your husband.
“If we have negotiations with the Fremen in the future, I’d like to be there,” you announced and Rabban snorted. You knew that he did not mean these things personally, he was just frustrated that he was being replaced by his brother and seeing that an off-world woman was holding more influence than him had to be rough for his ego.
“What’s so funny, brother?” Feyd asked him and you rolled your eyes. They were at it again. “The only thing I find funny is how my wife has more brains than you.”
“And why is that funny?” You asked him, irritated.
“That is enough indeed,” Baron raised his hand. “We all have better things to do,” he announced and everyone bowed their heads as he left the room.
You watched your husband and his brother leaving right behind him, still having an argument like little children. Then you took a deep breath in and stood up to go back to Astra and Cara.
However, when you left the room, Feyd grabbed his brother’s neck and pushed him down on the floor. He basically threw him at your feet and you were surprised that he had managed it so easily since Rabban was a big and strong man.
“You will kiss her shoe and show your na-baroness respect,” Feyd ordered, “as you beg for her forgiveness.”
You looked down as Rabban looked up, scared. As much as it brought you some satisfaction to have a big, strong Harkonnen count who was called Beast Rabban at your feet, you felt sorry for him, too. 
“Feyd, there is no need,” you looked at your husband.
“No, there is, because I say so,” he insisted and kicked his brother’s head. “He will kiss your shoe or die.”
“I said, there is no need,” you repeated, more sternly this time. “Your brother is not my enemy like he is not yours either,” you pointed out. “Stand up, Count Rabban,” you ordered the man.
Carefully and hesitantly he moved up, trying to avoid looking into your eyes.
“You shall remember the kindness I have given you,” you told him and he nodded. “Now, leave.”
You watched him walk away as fast as possible and then you looked at your husband. He wasn’t pleased but he was trying to hide it. You could tell when he was angry very easily from his facial expressions by now.
“Do not torment him. He might be useful,” you told him.
“He will do anything to keep his pathetic head on. He’s got no honour,” Feyd snorted at that. “He would kiss anyone’s shoe if his life depended on it.”
“Then he is more like me than I have expected,” you only said and walked past him, leaving him behind, surprised.
“You are not like him,” Feyd followed you as he grabbed your wrist. “You have honour.”
“Do I?” You chuckled and turned around to face him. “I did everything to survive. It had nothing to do with honour. I became a Harkonnen instead of doing what my Atreides pride was telling me to do and that was to kill myself before letting any of you hurt me or change me.”
“It is different,” he was trying to deny your words. You were confusing him now.
“You also do not have honour, Feyd-Rautha. The way you used to fight drugged warriors in the arena. It has nothing to do with honour,” you reminded him as his jaw clenched. “And you know what? I don’t care,” you shrugged your arms. “My father, he was an honourable man. And look where it has gotten him. We are too cunning for honour.”
“We?” Feyd asked.
“The Harkonnens,” you explained and cupped his face to pull his head down and place a kiss upon his forehead. “Now, go, weren’t you supposed to terrorise the poor Fremen?”
He smirked at you and leaned in to place a hungry kiss upon your lips as his hand caressed your womb.
“Be careful, my darling, come back to me in one piece from the treacherous desert,” you bid him farewell and kissed him one last time before going back to your chambers.
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Weeks had passed and the mysterious Muad’Dib remained uncaught, however the spice production came back to full efficiency. It was difficult to celebrate such victory, though, because you weren’t even sure if it was because of Feyd-Rautha being a good Governor or was it because of his uncle who still was present on Arrakis. Both him and Rabban. You wondered how things had been back on Giedi Prime – especially now, when all the important Harkonnens were on Arrakis.
You had your girls and your medic and much less nosy guards following you everywhere. The Arrakeen Palace was giving you lots of freedom and safety but it was also a much more boring place than the fortress on Giedi Prime. It was full of ghosts, too – you couldn’t stop thinking your family had been slayed in that very place.
You kept dreaming of Paul each and every night. It was making you feel weary and frustrated at this point. You didn’t want Feyd to know so you often would leave the bed quietly in the middle of the night and walk outside to sit on the balcony. There was something fascinating about the desert; it was so calm yet dangerous. By day it was too hot to just stare and admire but at night it was peaceful and with no one around to bother you.
Tonight you were standing and admiring the moon in your nightgown, with your hand caressing your swollen womb. It was getting bigger and bigger each day and you could feel the child move now. The medic assured you he was placed properly and growing healthy. You wondered if your son would be born on Arrakis.
“What’s wrong?” Feyd’s voice made you turn around. He was standing by the entrance to the balcony and staring at you.
“I can’t sleep,” you lied. You could but you didn’t want to. You didn’t want to dream of Paul.
“Again?” Feyd sighed and approached you. He stood behind you and leaned your body on his chest. It made you sigh out of relief and he placed his hands on your abdomen. “Perhaps the spice is doing you harm.”
“No, the medic would have noticed that,” you shook your head. “Perhaps it’s your son keeping me awake,” you made up a believable excuse and Feyd chuckled.
“And what are you doing here? Staring at the sand?”
“I don’t expect you to understand the beauty of the desert,” you teased. “But yes, the sand, the moon, everything.”
“When I will become the Baron, we will have a little tour and visit every planet under Harkonnen rule,” he whispered into your ear. “You will see many beautiful things, my darling pet.”
“And when will that be?” You snapped, frustrated. “In ten years? A hundred?” You snorted.
“What are you talking about?” Feyd took a step back and leaned on the railing to take a better look at your face but you remained staring in the distance.
“What is he still doing here? I thought Arrakis was ours. Yet, he is here and it feels as if we are being supervised. Meanwhile, Giedi Prime remains without protection,” you drawled through gritted teeth.
“If you were him, would you leave us two to each other?” Feyd asked.
“Are you by his side again?” You finally looked at him, angrily. “He gave you the planet to govern and you’re defending him again?”
“I am not defending him,” Feyd got angry, too, at your words. “But it is obvious why he stayed here. He knows we might be plotting. He needs to keep an eye on things.”
“I have already plotted,” you lowered your voice and went back to staring at the moon.
Feyd kept looking at you in silence for a while before he finally spoke up again.
“And what is that?”
“He shall be slayed by night alongside most of the guards and servants. We will say it was a nighttime assassination attack by Muad’Dib and his people. They targeted the Harkonnen nobility and you were too busy saving your pregnant wife to help your uncle,” you whispered.
“Everyone will know the truth, it's too obvious,” Feyd told you. “It's only giving us an alibi for those who want to believe in it.”
“Of course they will suspect what really happened but they will not care. You showed them your worth in the arena and you brought back the full efficiency of the spice production. The Harkonnen lords will give you a chance. I am sure they’ve already grown tired and weary of the Baron,” you kept convincing him.
“What if Muad’Dib suddenly decides to show up and deny?”
You sighed and looked at him again, furiously.
“Just admit that you don’t want him dead, because in some way I cannot understand… you love him,” you hissed at him.
“Love?” It was the first time you heard him use that word and it brought a chill down your spine. It sounded so off and scary when your husband said it out loud. “I don’t know what that pathetic feeling is,” he assured you.
“I can see that,” you raised an eyebrow at him and walked away to leave the balcony and go back to your bedroom.
You were hurt, angry and frustrated and it was starting to bring tears to your eyes but you didn’t want him to see that.
Your husband followed you to the bedroom. In the way his footsteps were even heavier than usual, you spotted his annoyance as well.
“What do you expect of me? You’re so impatient, woman,” he started once the doors closed behind him. “You want everything and you want it now. I said I’d do it, I swore I’d do it but you admitted yourself we have to wait longer. If he dies here at night, do you think the noble lords of Giedi Prime will accept that so easily?”
“Then slay the ones who refuse to accept you as the successor!” You turned around with the rage making your blood boil. “Slay everyone standing in our way, as you promised. Do you want our son to be born in a world that he is manipulating for his own gain? Do you want to be his dog following the orders for the next few years? I am tired of playing the games with him on his own chess board. I want to make my own game, my own rules, my own board!” You tried to keep your voice down in case someone would spy on you but it was difficult with all that anger pouring out of you.
In one swift move, Feyd grabbed your chin and squeezed your cheeks as he brought your face so close to his that your noses were rubbing each other. There was so much anger in his eyes that the old you would start trembling out of fear for her life but the new you didn’t even flinch.
“Keep your voice down, we will do it,” he spat out.
“No,” you mumbled. “You will do it. You’re the hand that slays,” you reminded him and he kissed you so hungrily that you became breathless.
“I still want to kill you sometimes,” he confessed between one kiss and another as he led you back to your bed and laid you down on the mattress. “Choke you, slit your pretty little throat, watch you squirm under me as you bleed to death.”
“Whatever turns you on, my darling,” you chuckled at him as he looked at you sternly.
“If I hurt you, I’d kill myself right after. I’m bound to you forever,” he confessed and you smiled gently.
You didn’t want to tease him that after all, he did know what love was. After all, he did feel it. But you knew that he’d hate being confronted with the truth.
“If something happened to you, I would want to die alongside you, too,” you told him. “You’re the only one I have and none of my ambitions matter without you by my side.”
It was true. You didn't want to rule alone. In fact, you didn't want to ever feel lonely in your life again.
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You were sitting next to Paul and watching the sunset in silence. In your dreams you would always meet him in the desert. Nothing else seemed to exist on Arrakis in the dreamworld – except for you and him.
“Why do you haunt me?” You asked and laid your eyes on his angry face. He was always so angry these days.
You hated Paul from your dreams. He was different. There was no kindness and gentleness about him anymore. If you were supposed to be haunted by his ghost, you’d rather be haunted by the brother you had remembered instead.
“I am not here for you,” Paul snorted and you furrowed your brows. Then he looked down at your swollen womb and you instinctively protected it with your hands.
“What do you mean?” You gasped.
“The spawn inside you shares my blood on both sides,” he answered mysteriously, which confused you greatly but you decided not to give it a second thought. After all, it was just a dream. “No, it is not,” Paul smirked viciously at you, as if he was able to read your thoughts.
“Get up,” you heard Feyd’s rough voice as his hand shook your arm. You woke up abruptly and sat up, trying to calm yourself after the dream.
“What’s going on?” You asked and looked around the dark room.
“Come with me,” your husband looked very pleased with himself as he pulled you out of the bed.
“What are you–”
“Shh,” he put his finger over his mouth as he led you outside.
You gasped at the sight of the bodies scattered all over the corridor of the palace. Servants and guards with their throats slit, laying in poodles of their own blood.
“Have you done that?” You asked quietly and Feyd nodded. “My girls…” you gasped.
“I haven’t touched your pets,” he assured you and stopped in front of the doors leading to the Baron’s chambers.
“Have you killed him…?” You were both excited and terrified of the outcome if the answer was yes. But, most importantly, you were in shock.
“Not yet,” Feyd answered as he pushed the doors open in front of you.
Not sure what his words meant, you entered the chamber carefully and spotted the Baron on his bed, letting out loud and raspy breaths. His life support machinery was no longer attached to him; you assumed Feyd had decided to give him a slow death.
You looked at your husband and spotted a sadistic sparkle in his eye as he was visibly enjoying the sounds and the view. He put his arm around you and walked you closer to the Baron’s bed.
That old and sick man looked pathetic at that moment and for a short while you even felt sorry for him. His eyes widened even further at the sight of you as he raised one of his hands towards you but you took a step back.
You didn’t know what to expect of him on his deathbed. Some part of you craved for him to admit his defeat and name you a worthy successor of the Harkonnen throne. Some other part of you expected him to curse you and your whole bloodline, which would be quite justified.
However, you certainly did not expect the sheer desperation and debasement.
“P-please…” He could barely speak. “Please, help me,” he tried to reach out for you.
You didn’t feel sorry for him anymore. You felt disgusted.
“You’re a weakling,” you smirked at him. “You called my father weak but I am sure that he did not beg like a dog on his deathbed. I am sure he died with dignity.”
“Please, help me…” He coughed out. “Help me and I will make your son an Emperor…”
“I do not need you to make my son an Emperor,” you laughed with contempt. “I am to become The Baroness Harkonnen; commanding the largest army and possessing the biggest wealth in the galaxy.”
“F-Feyd, I was like a father to you…” He searched for his nephew’s cruel eyes now, giving up on asking for your compassion and pity. “My boy…”
“Like a father, you say,” Feyd drawled. “I couldn’t wait to kill you for so many years now.”
“Please…”
“Oh, shut him up, how long will it take for him to die?” You sighed with an eye-roll as Feyd nodded his head at you and grabbed the short knife attached to his hip.
“Farewell, dear uncle,” he smiled smugly as he slit the Baron’s throat.
You watched mesmerised, without even blinking. It felt like a dream more than reality.
“The Arrakeen Palace will be considered cursed for all the Barons and Dukes from now on,” you only said.
Without a word, Feyd dropped the blade and fell on his knees in front of you, pulling you close by your hips and burying his face in the fabric of your nightgown right where your womb was. You knew what he wanted. A praise, an approval, a blessing.
“My Baroness,” he breathed out.
“Stand tall, my Baron,” you caressed his head and he looked up. His eyes sparkled in the moonlight and you cupped his chin to caress his full lips with your thumb. “You’ve made me proud and happy, my darling,” you assured him. 
He nodded at you and collected the discarded blade from the floor. It was important not to leave any trace. You both went back to your chambers and laid down in bed, pretending to be asleep – too excited to actually be able to drift off. This time you didn’t feel guilty even a little bit like after the death of the harpies. This time it didn’t even feel like murder or taking another human being’s life. This time it felt like nothing but relief.
You watched the sunrise through the window with your head on your husband’s chest and his hand rubbing your back, waiting for the remaining servants’ screams to signal the beginning of the new era.
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There were screams indeed. People were running, yelling, banging on your door. Both Feyd and you acted surprised and startled at the news but Astra and Cara had to be the only people in the palace who actually believed your story. The medic inspected the Baron’s body and started to wonder if it really had been Muad’Dib’s work since the cuts did not remind of the Fremen weapons. Feyd only hissed at him so the medic stopped any further insinuations.
Count Rabban’s behaviour surprised you the most as he was following his brother around and seeming to act like the most loyal and obedient subject. He had quickly realised it was the best chance of survival for him. He hadn’t questioned anything so far and simply followed every word leaving his younger brother’s mouth.
Everything was a mess and chaos on that day but it was mostly Feyd dealing with it, basking in his new title and glory, as you were sitting on your bed with terrified Astra and Cara, holding them both and assuring them of their safety.
“How can you not be worried, na-baroness? I mean, Baroness?” Astra widened her eyes. “If Muad’Dib was here last night… Oh, I don’t even want to imagine what would happen if he went inside your chambers instead…”
“My husband would defend me,” you kissed her forehead and then you kissed Cara’s.
“What if he comes back?” Cara was shaking out of fear and you felt bad for making them feel like this but you couldn’t tell them the truth. “Now, when they know that we have fewer guards around?”
“We will be prepared this time,” you squeezed their hands. “My girls, I am sorry for being insensitive but I shall get dressed in mourning attire now and finally join my husband to help him with the officialties.”
Every lady travelled with a mourning dress just in case. Yours was a combination of black silk and black armour pieces with chains, connected to the matching headpiece. It looked dignified and intimidating – exactly how you wanted it to look like. You had already dreamt of The Baron’s death while planning your trip. Therefore the mourning dress you had chosen was accurate to your new role of The Baroness.
It sounded so good. For the upcoming days you would get drunk on the way people would address you. And then, when you'd finally be back on Giedi Prime, there would be a lavish celebration and official event for you two becoming the new Baron and Baroness. You couldn't wait for that day.
You smiled to yourself in the mirror and fixed the headpiece for one last time as you adjusted the Atreides signet ring on your pinky finger. On your pointing finger there was a huge ring with the Harkonnen emblem. And hidden between the folds of your dress and attached to the armour piece on your hip was the blade your husband had given you on the day of his birthday. No one could see it but you could reach for it swiftly in the case of emergency.
You joined Feyd in the conference room and everyone straightened at the sight of you. They always would but this time it felt different. You were the one holding the power – and they respected you for you, not for the fact that you were under protection of The Baron.
“Baroness,” they bowed down and went back to work, avoiding your gaze.
“How are things going?” You approached Feyd as he looked you up and down with a smirk. You put your hand on his chest.
“I sent Rabban back on Giedi Prime with our uncle’s body,” he told you and held your hand to lay a kiss upon it. “He will take care of the affairs there until we finish our business on Arrakis. I want to take care of that Muad’Dib rat before returning home and finding someone worthy to replace me as the Governor here. Rabban will also send us more Harkonnen troops since we have lost many guards last night,” he informed you in an official manner.
“We must avenge our late Lord Baron,” you clenched your jaw as you nodded. His eyes sparkled with mockery as he pretended to look worried.
You were sure that most people in that room had known the truth but they kept their poker faces on and allowed you to play out this little scene.
“My Lord,” one of the engineers raised his voice, concerned. Feyd turned around and you both stared at the hologram of the Arrakis globe. Red dots started to appear on the orbit. “We have guests,” the engineer explained. “The ships are definitely not ours.”
“Who is it?” Feyd barked at him. “Find that out, we are not expecting anyone,” he looked at you, a little concerned.
You were not pleased with the idea of guests now, out of all times, either. 
“Who dares to interrupt our peace unannounced on the day after our late Lord Baron’s tragic death?” You asked out loud, playing your mourning role the best you could.
What a mockery it was that you had to be hiding all the grief after your actual family but had to display fake tears for the man you had hated with every fibre of your being.
“M-my Lord, my Lady…” the engineer turned around with his eyes widened, “it’s the Emperor himself… The whole imperial delegation.”
You and Feyd looked at each other.
“It took them days to get here. There is no way they are here because of last night’s incident,” Feyd pointed out. “Still, I do not understand. I have brought the spice production back to full efficiency. What could be the reason for his visit?”
You moved uncomfortably as your son kicked your rib. As if he too knew of the importance of this sudden imperial audience. It would be the first time you’d greet someone of such importance as The Harkonnen Baroness and it would be the first time you’d see the Emperor face to face. He had visited your father a few times on Caladan but children had not been allowed near their meetings.
“We have to greet him and find out,” you took a deep breath in, preparing yourself mentally for the first challenge in your new role.
You shot Feyd a glance and he nodded at you, reassuringly. With him by your side, it couldn’t go that bad, you tried to convince yourself. His presence was equipping you with courage and determination you had not known before.
Everything you were doing now, you were doing for the two of you and your future. Nothing else mattered.
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MASTERLIST
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nyao-mi · 9 months
Text
NOT MY ASTARION BRAIN ROT CONTINUING CUS LIKE i just got the scene where he literally says he misses seeing his face and that like he wishes he knew what he looked like and i??? WANTED SO BADLY FOR IT TO BE AN OPTION TO DRAW HIM
LIKE IMAGINE STARING AT HIM ACROSS THE BONFIRE, watching the way the light dances across his pale skin. youve been through hard times and one of the things you've learned to get through it was to draw
at first, you loathed the fact that you had to paint rich people for mere couple pieces of gold when you knew your art was worth more than that. you loathed even more that they'd upturn their posh noses at you and scoff when, truly, they knew what a treasure your art was.
now, seeing astarion, the way his white hair seemed to almost form a halo around his head, reflecting the moonbeams that graced his body, watching as he crossed his legs and meditated; you knew that you didn't regret a single second of the trials and tribulations that led you to this point.
you could finally put this agonizing skill to use. you could draw him.
and so you scrounged up some paper, an ink well, a quill; all things you'd pocketed during your adventures with the rather willful vampire.
you sat there, nib of the quill scratching against the parchment.
your art was nothing compared to the paintings you'd done before; these were mere lines and ink blots. you wished you could truly show him how beautiful he was through water color or pastels. instead, trapped in a land you barely knew, all you could do for him was this.
he had his eyes closed, of course, so you drew them from memory. strikingly red, like rubies, like blood. you didn't forget his crow's feet; you loved the way they wrinkled when he laughed. you shaped his lips, soft but rough from years of bite and chew, and formed it into his infamous mischievous grin.
his hair always seemed unruly but, drawing it now, it felt like drawing gorgeous chaos; there was an order to it, the way the bangs fell across his forehead, the way the sides feathered in front of his ears and curled behind them.
when you stopped, you realised you'd drawn him over and over, across several pieces of parchment.
the way he frowned and his fangs would glance across his lips. the way he'd look confused and his eyebrows would furrow. the way he'd look longingly at the stars, mind distant and eyes almost empty, like he'd made so many wishes that were never granted by the cosmos.
you never liked tooting your own horn but you felt like you truly captured him.
so, you took your pieces of paper, all drawings of him, dozens of them, small and sketchy; you took it all and you sat beside him and spread them out in front of you.
it took him a second to realise you were there. he'd been letting his guard down recently, especially when you were on watch duty, and it took you laying your head across his shoulder for his eyes to flutter open.
he opened his mouth, like there had almost been a retort slipping off his tongue, but the sight of your drawings stopped him.
he let out a ragged breath, eyes flickering across all of them. his clawed hands hovered in the air, trembling, as if taking a hold of the drawings would make them crumble under his touch.
and perhaps, in his head, he really believed they would.
'darling,' he'd call you, his voice wet with unshed tears 'what's all of this?'
of course he'd still joke. it was how he coped with things. he joked to hide how he truly felt and, of course, you were always there to understand.
'it's you,' you answered a matter-of-factly, as if you hadn't just turned this vampires world upside down 'its you the way i see you.'
and that's what makes him crack. because maybe, since you were the one that drew all of it, you hadn't noticed. but he noticed.
he noticed all the love and devotion you spilled across the page. every single detail, every single stroke, it was all from love.
and as someone who had never been on the receiving end of it, astarion cracked and he hid his face into your neck and he cried.
they were soft sobs, almost unnoticeable. but he cried nonetheless.
he cried for his past that he'd lost under his sadistic master, he cried for his difficult present that seemed impossible to escape, and he cried for this hopeful future you seemed to lay out in front of him.
he cried because he didn't realise that he had this much hope left inside of him. because he didn't know what else to do in the face of your devotion.
you just sat there, humming and rubbing his back, ignoring the way his arm wrapped around your waist, claws digging into your skin as if you'd disappear in front of him if he didn't hold on to you as tightly as possible.
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detriterate · 11 months
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"This Christmas Party Was So Fun That Now I’m a Communist"
Brennan Lee Mulligan's anti-capitalist origin story
(Direct link in the title, read on for blather)
In the the most recent Fireside Chat for World's Beyond Number (episode 7 "Kahuna", available on their Patreon), Erika prompts Brennan to talk about "that crazy Christmas party you went to".
Brennan recounts an experience from when he was struggling to get by as a young performer/writer in New York City. His day job was as a caterer, and they had been hired to cater an ultra-wealthy NYC Christmas Party. It's full of details of gross decadence, but in the chat he describes what affected him the most:
"The thing that really fucked me up [about that party was that] I was at a period in my life [living] in New York where I was like 'Yea, I'm really hungry and scared all the time, but I'm living the bohemian dream! I'm a struggling artist! When I go out on the weekend and I'm dancing with my friends, no one will ever feel the depth of joy I feel [because it comes from] struggling and grinding out here with my friends."
"[Then, at that Christmas party,] I saw those rich heirs and heiresses dance... and they were having a better time than me, and it wasn't close! I watched these rich people dance with the most reckless abandon, and their faces [wore an expression reflecting that] 'We're having a great time, uncomplicatedly! We're not examining this! It's so fun!'... and then I heard my stomach [growl]."
(Edited for clarity out of context. Please forgive me if you find the edits to be excessive.)
You can listen to the whole chat on the World's Beyond Number Patreon. It's $5 and they have only the one tier. If you're a fan of collaborative storytelling, it's worth at least one month for the Children's Adventure prequel campaign.
THAT SAID, he also wrote a fantastic short story about this experience that you can read on his website for free (linked at the top and bottom). If you've read this far, you should give it a read. Until the Fireside Chat, I wasn't sure if the story was a work of fiction or if it was inspired by something real.
"This Christmas Party Was So Fun That Now I’m a Communist"
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izuke-the-zombie · 5 months
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🌸Sorry for the long ass absent guys 🫠 family and holidays have been crazy😮‍💨
I recently came across this short monkie kid wild West AU fanfic
It's short but it's really good, And it sort of got me in the mood to sketch or at least redraw the two mystic monkeys cowboy outfits again
I really wasn't sure whether to give Mac, purple boots or just black boots you can kind of see it in the first pick faded Mac.
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🌸🐎🐴✨But I don't think I've seen anyone draw them with horses or write something about it, so I'm going to be the first one to do it! (I don't know how to draw them sitting on horses, so bear with me here.)😗💦 I know I put the scar on the wrong side of the Smokey Horse. My bad, let's just pretend it's on the right side.LOL😅🪷
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😽💕I headCannon that when those two summon their horses together, they get really affectionate. The sheriff's horse is more like a big old golden retriever, playful and mischievous, and rarely ever listens to its owner. While over here, Mac's is more well-behaved and obedient, and they can get quite sassy sometimes. I'm not sure what to call it. It's hard to separate those two, so they try not to summon them at the same time.
They're also very affectionate to the monkeys especially the opposite ones.🐶🐎✨💕
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😄I want a scenario where they let the horses stay instead of just poofing them out of existence so MK/MEI can play with the horses just a bit longer since they were begging them by giving them the puppy dog eyes (especially on Mei's side; she's a horse girl fan), and after a long while, the sheriff notices that his horse Nimbus was acting a little more strange and protective over the Smokey horse, letting them eat first, and just never leaving their side. All sorts of strange behavior on the Nimbus side. All he ever notices from the shadow horse is that they were a little sluggish, but he doesn't think too much of it.😗🤠🐵
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🌟Until one day, BAM! This little cutie came into the world as a precious, adorable little cinnamon roll, prancing around like it owns the world.🧁😽🌎✨
🐎There's stupidly protective over this little guy.👿😡🦄🐴☀️🌙🌠
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🐴And there's a huge problem. This little guy is clumsy as heck. He's new and everything, so of course he is, but he likes to adventure out without his horsey parents knowing or anyone else, and he loves playing games like tag his favorite, but because he's so clumsy, he causes damage that MK or his mentors have to fix, so everyone has to be on high alert and watch over the little rascal. LMAO 🐎🍼💥💕✨
🌸I hope you enjoyed this, I certainly had fun drawing this I wish there was more wild West monkeys fics there's some freaking cute💕✨
💥Aaaah! I love these freaking cow monkeys 😆💖
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