#begging jackles to prove me wrong

[ugh-againwiththenames]

more cursed thoughts...

Hey, so I totally love that we’re all losing our collective minds about the Jensen “solo gold panel on Saturday” Ackles recently…but…has anyone stopped to consider how much of a train-wreck that’s going to be?!

(Below the cut for my long winded thoughts on this...)

The man hasn’t done a solo panel in a while – not in front of a live audience, and he’s not good at them to start with (again, this is nothing against my boy, it’s simply a fact), at least not when he’s sober (and in most cases, even when he’s not!).  He doesn’t like being thrown to the wolves on his own, and you’re fucking lying if you don’t consider yourself a wolf…He gets bitchy when he's asked stupid questions, or questions he can’t or isn’t allowed to answer, and he doesn't handle it well - and he’s going to shut down so fast the moment someone gets through with a Post-Confession question – he’s still not going to choose a side, if you think the boy will alienate a whole side of the fandom to choose a side, you’re wrong.  From a PR standpoint alone, that would be suicide.   I know that we like to live in our little bubble over here (and I will gladly sit in it and manifest along with you) but, regardless of how you cut this, a solo panel is going to be torturous for him.  Everyone is over here, ‘we’re gonna get answers out of Jackles’, my dudes, my friends, my people….no, you’re not, and then you’re going to be even MORE MAD – please please do me a favour and do not HOPE for Jackles to take a stand... It’s not cowardly, and it’s not meant as a slight to either side of the fandom – it’s simply in his best interest to NOT Draw the utter Vitriolic Hatred he would receive by definitively throwing down on either side (even though I’m pretty certain we all know what side that would be).  I understand we want a definitive answer, I really really do, but I cannot bear the idea of him being utterly bastardized if he doesn’t say “yes, it’s reciprocated, Dean loves Cas, you weren’t fucking crazy” verbatim...

More bits and pieces I feel crazy about: 

- Him not speaking about Destiel at cons is NOT his fault, it is Creation’s, please lay your blame in the right place, he’s simply following the rules; and you can be sore about that, but you can’t deny it. The fact that Misha has been talking about it recently is great, but they have not been Creation cons, so let’s all hold our thoughts on that until then...

- If you think that Jensen is unaware of Misha’s chaos, you are nuts, he knows, he approves, and he’s happy to let Misha carry it out.  He’s still liking social media posts, he’s clearly not mad at Misha, which to me, specifically, speaks to the fact that he knows about these posts prior to them being made. Misha would never antagonize Jensen - never intentionally place him in a situation he wouldn’t be comfortable with...please remember that...

- Jackles SM silence speaks louder than words - guys, we know this; it always has - he is CALCULATED - he is NOT ACTIVE on SM!! (AND) He specifically stays away from the thirst traps (the fact that he liked Misha’s bloody shirt post was a shocking anomaly not the norm), and let’s be fair - Misha also does not partake in liking the JA traps (however few and far between they are...3am bathroom selfies for example?).  I would bet my -(ok i have nothing of value, but if i did, I would bet it)- that this is also something that they agreed on together...because it’s actually SO LOUD.

- I said that it would be PR suicide for him to choose a side, and I understand that people are like “so what? he needs to decide where he stands here, and his PR should not take precedence over this” - why?...Because I guarantee you’re about to sound very childish.  He is an actor, in his mid-40′s, trying to accelerate his career after spending 15 years dedicating his life to one show (!) - his SM following (which nearly doubles the following of JPad or Misha, if we look at IG), and his public image are INSANELY important to him. Especially now...Drama is NOT what he needs right now - launching a new production company, acting in a new role, planning a new SPN related show...PR suicide would be disastrous. Chaos? absolutely, Drama? no.  

- We are NOT J2 fans...but guys, HE is part of that side (whether or not he WANTS to be, doesn’t change the fact), regardless of how you break it down.  He is the only member of the group that is SOLIDLY in both sides of the fandom (which, let’s be honest, probably plays a major role in his higher SM following), and he will be utterly CRUCIFIED by one side of the fandom REGARDLESS of where he comes down. It will be bloody, and it will be awful.  Misha has the freedom to say and do what he wants without risking ANY of his fans...and we love him for it, and so does J...*shrug* please do the math here...

Look, I get that no one wants to hear that, and I would LOVE NOTHING MORE than for him to walk out on stage, say – “Yes, it’s reciprocated, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get this fucking show on the road, who’s up?” I want it so badly I can taste it, and I do think that he has hinted at that particular stance a number of times, but I’m soooooo gun-shy about hoping for that possibility to become reality, I cannot in any universe believe that it will happen.  He’s naturally sooooo careful, so pointedly silent on the topic (outside of a few slips over the years), I’m certain that expecting anything less than that would be the definition of insanity for the fandom at this stage.  I will drop dead right here if he ends it spectacularly – I will GLADLY be proven wrong (please, please prove me wrong - get Mish on stage and lay one on him - DO IT), I just don’t want to see Jackles hate if he doesn’t…and that’s the piece I’m scared of, because I can already see the train heading for the brick wall on this...

#jensen #jensen ackles #jackles #thoughts #personal opinions #ranting is my favourite passtime #begging jackles to prove me wrong #spn #spn con #denvercon #misha #misha collins #cockles #shellfish #cursed thoughts

[thing-you-do-with-that-thing]

The Start of Something Good

Pairing: Cockles  x Reader

Warnings: Implied abusive relationship, implied smut.

Wordcount: 721

Requested by: @crushing83 : Number 26: “Did you enjoy yourself last night?” and 383 “You’re hiding something from me.”

A/N: Unbetaed. All mistakes are mine. Written for  @wayward-mirage RPF Appreciation day

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

You moaned softly as you started coming too. You frowned as you felt the softness beneath you. It was like you were laying on a cloud. This sure as shit wasn’t your bed. You sat up, quickly pulling the covers around your body as you realised you were naked. A dull pleasant ache between your legs, started to remind you of what had happened.

Benjamin had showed up at the part, screaming at you. Telling you, you’d better come home with him.

“I know you’re hiding something from me Y/N!” He screamed at you, grabbing your arm so hard it hurt, but he didn’t let go of you even when you begged him too as you flinched in pain. “I know you fucked someone to get this job. You are not that good of an actress and you sure as shit didn’t get the part of an angel on your less than average looks,” he hissed at you. Him talking to you like this was nothing new. You knew he was right, but his words still cut you deeper and pained you more than his knuckles ever did.

“What did you just say to her?” your head snapped around, as Jensen practically roared at your boyfriend, stomping towards him and Benjamin instantly released your arm taking a step back. Jensen was a menacing sight as he towered over his target and his normally shining green eyes were almost black with rage.

You didn’t hear what Benjamin said, but the smug look on his face told you he hadn’t been smart enough to back down. Misha’s arms safely closed himself around you, holding you and keeping you safe as Jensen’s fist collided with Benjamin’s face. You hadn’t even realized Misha had appeared until you were sobbing against his chest and Jensen all but dragged Benjamin from the building, tossing him to the curve.

You smiled to yourself as you remembered sitting between the two of them in the bar. Their solid forms shielding you from the rest of the world. Their gentle innocent touches and caring gazes made you feel safe enough to tell them everything. They had made you smile and laugh, forgetting about everything but the two of them. They had brought you up to Jensen’s room when the bar closed and suddenly you broke down. How you felt about yourself had come pouring out, as you let them hold you.

A deep blush spread across your cheeks as you thought back to how they had promised they would prove the voices Benjamin had put inside of your mind wrong. And they had. You had never felt safer or more loved… more desired and wanted than you had tangled with the two of them last night.

You slowly got off the bed, wandering into the kitchen where you saw them. Misha was sitting on the counter with Jensen standing between his legs, kissing him deeply and a small giggle erupted from your lips, causing both men to face you. They were both smiling brightly at you, not doing anything to hide what they had been doing. Misha peeked Jensen’s cheek before jumping of the table, throwing you a small wink, as he went back to cooking up breakfast for the three of you.

“Did you enjoy yourself last night sweetheart?” Jensen asked, smiling as you as he walked up to you talking your hand and guiding you to sit in his lap by the table.

“Very much so… Only I…” you looked down at your hands, squeezing them together in your lap, before you felt Misha’s finger under your chin, gently pushing your face up as he squatted down before the two of you.  

“Only what baby?” Misha asked you softly as you looked into his deep blue eyes.

“I wish I wasn’t only one night,” your face burned as you admitted your feelings for the two of them and you felt Jensen chuckle, behind you and Misha laughed slightly, as he pressed his lips against yours, and Jensen’s landed against your neck.

“It can be all the days and nights you want it to be honey,” Jensen assured you, before resting his chin on your shoulder letting his lips met Misha’s right next to your face as they both held you close. And you had never been happier.

I had no idea who to tag so I tagged my Jensen tag team. Sorry if it is not your thing!

Jensen Tag Team (CLOSED)

 @mysupernaturalfics @blacktithe7 @percywinchester27 @torn-and-frayed @docharleythegeekqueen @hexparker @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @feelmyroarrrr @starswirlblitz @akshi8278 @jpadjackles @crushing83 @flufy07 @quiddy-writes @akshi8278 @sleep-silent-angel @d-s-winchester @fuckyeahfeysand @lenaabs @iamnotsaneatall @jpadjackles @petrovadixon @blanketmadeofstar @arryn-nyxx @winchesters-flannels @winchester-writes @ruprecht0420 @tas898 @emilywritesaboutdean @mogaruke @emoryhemsworth @tennesseewhiskey-and-pie @supernatural-jackles @jojo-nz @riakie @anokhi07 @adriellej @michirutenshi @dance4angels @charliebradbury1104 @jayankles @mouselovesmusic @jensenackesl @twistnshoutx @ivvitm1109 @sinbadcat83 @winchestdiaries @thebunkerismyhome @iwriteaboutdean @winchesterprincessbride @captainradicalpassion @redunicorn10 @brooke-supernatural16 @haleyhay96 @becauseimawinchester @deansbaekaz2y5 @mamapeterson @spn-fan-girl-173 @be-amaziing @sandlee44 @profkmoriarty13 @secretlyfurrydragon @bringmesomepie56 @sonofabitch-spn @gecko9596 @impala-dreamer @jensen-jarpad @deansleather @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou @icequeen1371 @phoenixia67 @chickenmcsade @chaos-and-the-calm67 @brihughes4 @aiaranradnay @angelsdeadromance @katarinfrost @castiels-broken-fool @bemyqueenofdarkness @moonstar86 @ashleydivine @winter-hunters @smoothdogsgirl @niamandthings @wayward-marvel-sommer1196 @alicat-life @4401lnc @spnmariiscake @cobrakai1967 @immostlyconfused @mcdaring @jordaanella-blog @benzilla-94 @im-a-light-child @soulslaststand @itsmyeffingstory @maui137 @molleighs24 @itsbubbaog

#rpf appreciation day 2017 #cockles #cockles x reader #jensen x reader x misha #misha x reader x jensen #poly fic #spn poly #spn fanfiction #spn imagine #actor fic

[supernaturallymarvellous]

How To Save A Life: Part 2

Author: @supernaturallymarvellous

Characters: Dean Winchester x reader

Word Count: 618 (including lyrics)

Warnings: Angst, mention of character death (no vivid descriptions)

A/N: This is Part 2 of a three part mini-series called “How To Save A Life”. It also forms part of my entry into Beckii’s birthday celebrations (@fandommaniacx and @becs-bunker).

_______________________________________________________________

“Let him know that you know best

‘Cause after all you do know best

Try to slip past his defence

Without granting innocence.

Lay down a list of what is wrong

The things you’ve told him all along.

Pray to God, he hears you

And I pray to God, he hears you.”

******************************************************************************************

I’ve always known better than to argue with Dean.  After all, he’s been in this business for way longer than I have and nine out of ten times, I would always defer to his decision making process. However this time he was wrong.  He’s on a one-way mission to self-destruction and I can’t stand idly by and let him continue down this path.  For once, in the entire time that I’ve known him, I can safely say that I knew best.  

So I sat him down and told him so.  I took charge and forced him to listen to exactly what I had to say, wouldn’t let him say a single word until I had said my piece.  He didn’t appreciate it but I wasn’t going to give him my blessing to go and deal with Amara alone, certainly not until I had tried my hardest to convince him that there had to be another way, another option.  

After a while, I realised that I was on the wrong track.  There was proving to be very little use in trying to wear him down by nagging so I changed tack.  I started to appeal to his loving nature.  Tried to tap into that protective side of him, the side that I knew wouldn’t want to leave Sam and I on our own to fight against every danger out there. Harsh and cruel, I know but this was not the time for being nice.  At this point, all I wanted to do was to get him to understand that there had to be something else we could do.  

To give him his dues, Dean listened.  He sat there patiently and listened to everything I needed to say.  I ran through every little aspect of what he was thinking of doing and how it would affect not only Sam and I, but so many others too. The world needed Dean Winchester in it – he provided a balance that was sorely needed, he had helped so many people but there were still those out there in need of our help, in need of his abilities.  I poured my heart and soul into every word I said, all the time refusing to take my eyes off him even though the look of silent resignation to his fate was breaking my heart into a thousand pieces.  

I eventually lost track of how long I’d been talking.  It had been long enough that it had started to grow dark outside, the sun dropping ever lower in the sky.  My voice was hoarse by this point, my eyes burning from the constant supply of tears that I’d shed.  I’d thought I could have been stronger than this , thought I could stood in front of Dean and made a rational, well thought out, cohesive argument.  I was so wrong.  

It wasn’t until he left me for a brief moment to go to the bathroom that my walls broke down entirely.  As soon as the door had closed, I fell to the floor, smashing my knees off the thin carpet but not caring about the pain that coursed through them.  All I could think of in that moment was sending up a desperate prayer, desperately begging Chuck to hear me and intervene in what was proving to be my worst nightmare…..losing one of the only people I had left in this godforsaken life.

Part 3

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Tagging: @waywardimpalawriter, @eileenlikesyou-maybe, @hexparker, @purgatoan, @zepppie, @helvonasche, @mysteriouslyme81, @madamelibrarian, @chainez-8, @babypieandwhiskey, @supernatural-jackles, @wheresthekillswitch, @jensen-jarpad, @thetalesofmooseandsquirrel, @notnaturalanahi, @redlipstickandplaid, @jayankles, @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid, @deathtonormalcy56, @just-another-busy-fangirl @autopistaaningunaparte, @katymacsupernatural, @mamaredd123 @mrswhozeewhatsis 

#b21stchallenge #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #spn reader insert #supernatural

[thing-you-do-with-that-thing]

Feel Again

Characters: Y/N Sanders (reader), Misha Collins, Benjamin Sanders (OMC), Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles,

Pairing: Benjamin x Reader, Misha x Reader

Warnings: Cheating (not Misha), it is flangst nothing too bad.      

Word Count: 1300ish

A/N: This is 1 out of my 13 entries for @mamapeterson / @mrs-squirrel-chester’s Album Fanfiction Challenge where I chose the album “Smoke and Mirrors” by Imagine Dragons. The song prompt for this fic is: Gold

Thanks to the amazinly sweet and talented @blacktithe7 for betaing this one for me

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

This life had been all you had ever dreamed about since you were a small child. You had always wanted to be a singer. You wanted to perform in big stadiums with an band behind you and people screaming your name. You had loved watching your idols at the Grammys wearing pretty dresses on TV and dreamed of being there yourself one day. This was your life now. Designers was begging you to wear their products, like some sort of walking commercial. You did it because it was required , not because you enjoyed it. Not anymore atleast.

Everyone around you seemed to want something from you. They never seemed interested in getting to know the girl behind the facade. They never seemed like they really cared about you. They only wanted what your name could get them. You had thought Benjamin had been different, but at it turned out your judgement wasn’t what it used to be. When you had found him in bed with his assistant, all he talked about when you were throwing his clothes out of your shared house, was how this was going to look to the public. He didn’t tell you that he loved or that he had made a mistake. He only cared about losing the star power having you on his arm had provided and what that loss would mean to his career.

He wasn’t willing to let go of what he had gained with you that easily. He was a producer, and you were a platinum recording artist. You had been a power couple ever since you started dating, so he was going to do everything he could to delay your divorce, hoping “you would come to your senses.”

You, on the other hand, just wanted all of this to be over with. You wanted your marriage to be over. Not because you wanted to move on, but because you simply didn’t know who you could trust anymore. That was until your manager had approached you about a small role on the CW show Supernatural. At first you had declined. Acting had never been something you had thought about doing, but after doing a little research, you had decided that maybe a change of scenery, if even only for a few weeks, wouldn’t be the worst of idea.

Actually, it had turned out to be the best decision you had ever made. The set was everything you had been missing in LA. It was warm and homey. Soon one episode turned into more. People cared about each other here, and you loved it. The lead actors knew the names of all of the cast, and everyone treated each other with love and respect. Pranks happened every day, and it didn’t take long for you to be sucked into one of the many shenanigans that happened between the two leads, Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, and the series regular Misha Collins.

You managed to walk through the door at just the wrong time, just to get covered in two gallons of soda meant for Misha, not you. You knew Jared and Jensen had been plotting something, from the way they had been acting all day, but since you also knew Misha was on set you hadn’t been too alert. Whenever he was around, he was usually the two knuckleheads intended target. Which he had also been today, but since he was late as always and you had forgotten your jacket after your last scene, you walked through the door when Misha was supposed too, which proved to be seriously bad luck for you.

You stood there soaked to the bone and sticky as hell, when Jared and Jensen appeared apologizing, but still laughing their asses off. They didn’t treat you like people usually did, like you were a ticket to fame or some conquest to win. To them, you were just the new girl on set, and fair game, even if it had happened by accident.

“Are you okay?” Misha’s voice sounded behind you as you stood frozen to the spot, trying to decide your next move.

“Oh it is so on!” you warned the laughing duo in front of you before grabbing Misha’s hand, dragging him with you off set and towards your trailer.

You didn’t start speaking before the door close behind the two of you, and you instantly started changing your clothes, not giving much thought to Misha being in the room. You were used to changing infront of your band and managers all the time, and to you, Misha wasn’t any different.

“Those two are so getting it,” you promised, still more amused than angry. “You know them a lot better than I do. Do you have any ideas?” You stopped when you turned around to face Misha. You were down to your underwear and Misha’s eyes were nailed to the floor, looking more than a little uncomfortable by the situation.

“Oh,” you looked down at yourself, quickly grabbing a fresh dress from your closet and pulling it on. “Misha, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward. I just never give it much thought undressing in front of people anymore.”

“You shouldn’t,” Misha still didn’t look up at you, and his voice were soft, more than accusing or angry.  

“Why? Wearing little to no clothing has been part of my image for years. What does it matter if I am in a dressing room or on stage?” you asked truthfully, and finally Misha’s clear blue eyes met yours. You sucked in a breath when they did. You couldn’t remember the last time anyone had looked at you like he did in that moment.

“Maybe you shouldn’t do that either? Not if it feel like you are only worth anything because you are beautiful. You are. But you are so much more than that. You’ve got an amazing voice. You are a talented song writer, and you are quite the actress. I… I wouldn’t mind getting to know everything about you. If you would let me?”  Misha took a step forward and you felt the tears start to press against your eyes.

“Mish… I… I am still married. Benjamin is dragging everything out. I am not ready for another big public thing,” you tried to reason with yourself as well as Misha. Part of you still wasn’t ready to believe he really wanted to get to know you. He wanted something from you just like everyone else did. Supernatural was a successful show, but none of the actors spent a lot of time in the limelight. With you, that would chance for Misha. You knew in your heart that Misha wasn’t the kind of person who cared about the fame, and that what he was saying was true. Still, the little voices in your head told you the adoration and love in his eyes was just him being an amazing actor.

“If you aren’t ready to see anyone, that’s okay. We can hang out as friends. Or we can date in your trailer or mine. I have an apartment…” Misha started before stopping when he saw the accusing look on your face, “Oh no. That wasn’t what I meant.”

Misha sounded horrified and was clearly upset with himself over how his words had appeared to you. “I meant, we could order pizzas and watch a movie together. I kiss you goodnight, and I will leave.” His voice was soft and calm as he tried to make you understand that he really wanted nothing else but to spend time with you. “Y/N, I meant it when I said I wanted to get to know you. I am not after anything other than you here. I like you. We don’t have to be public or have sex for me to want to spend time with you.”

“Misha…” Tears were streaming down your face now. You had no idea what it was that made you believe him, but you did. You let him wrap his arms around you. You clung to him like he was your only lifeline, because at that moment it felt like he was. It felt like he was the one person that could make you feel again. The one person that could make you feel safe and loved for who you were once more.

After a few minutes in the safety of his arms, your tears subsided, and you started to calm down enough to feel happy, happy and wanted enough to be yourself around him. You pulled apart from him just enough to tilt your head to look up at him with a small smile on your lips.

“I’ll date you, Misha Collins. On one condition?” you teased, making Misha smile and gently brush your hair away from your face.

“A condition huh? Name it.”

“Help me get revenge on Moose and Squirrel out there,” you grinned, loving the sound of Misha’s laughter before his lips met yours in a sweet, tender kiss that made your head spin and your knees weaken.

“Deal,” he whispered softly against your lips before you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss.

Misha Tag Team

@mysupernaturalfics @blacktithe7 @percywinchester27  @docharleythegeekqueen @hexparker @feelmyroarrrr @starswirlblitz @thewhisperingfox @d-s-winchester @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @fuckyeahfeysand @mysteriouslyme81 @winchesters-flannels @tennesseewhiskey-and-pie @supernatural-jackles @adriellej @dance4angels @jayankles @mouselovesmusic @twistnshoutx @redunicorn10 @atc74 @sandlee44 @gecko9596 @jensen-jarpad @deansleather @phoenixia67 @chaos-and-the-calm67 @aiaranradnay

#misha x reader #fanfiction album challenge #misha collins x reader #misha fluff #misha angst #misha flangst #misha collins flangst #misha collins fluff #misha collins angst #spn angst #spn fluff #spn flangst #spn one shot #spn fanfiction #spn family #misha collins one shot #misha one shot #misha imagine #misha collins imagine #actor fic

[thing-you-do-with-that-thing]

Dream Life

Characters: Y/N (reader), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, unnamed OC

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Mention of previous character death, it’s a bit angsty but not to bad, implied smut

Word Count: 1400ish

A/N: This was supposed to be a drabble. I am sure I will learn how to eventually! But you guys told me which character, prompt and gif you wanted me to use. Gif is in the fic and prompt is highlighted. Character was Dean :D

Thanks a billion to the sweet, amazing @emilywritesaboutdean for betaing this for me on short notice.

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

Dean felt so hopeless as he watched her run for her room as soon as they got back to the Bunker. She hadn’t said a word the entire drive back, which wasn’t like her. Still Dean understood better than anyone what she was going through. Coming back to reality after being stuck in a Djinn’s dream world was brutal. Dean only wished she would talk to him or Sam at least. Sam didn’t push her though, he just ignored Dean’s looks and headed for his own room as soon as they got back, leaving Dean in the library with a bottle of whiskey.

Sitting in the dark of the library, Dean thought about all the things he should have said to her. All the ways he should have forced her to confide in him, but he knew he couldn’t. Y/N didn’t bottle things up like he did. She was a talker and her keeping quiet meant something bad was going on in her head. He felt her slipping aways from him fast and he had no idea what to do about it.

He loved her. Not that he had ever told her or showed her, but still he had no idea how to live this life without her. She was his best friend and the reason he was still able to smile. She forced him to share his crap with her and it had helped. He felt lighter. Stronger, with her around. But Dean had always known none of this would last forever. She wasn’t born into this life or even raised in it. She had been a grieving widow when he had first met her. A damn smart one and tough as hell, but still she had been a civilian. Dean should never had let her follow them or even let her into this life in the first place, but that was 3 years ago now. There was nothing he could do about that decision now. Nothing he could do to change the darkness he had inflicted upon her life, but he could have let her go when he saw her shape cross the library and walk up the stairs carrying her back.

He was going to let her go. Let her walk out of his life forever, but he couldn’t. His every instinct told him she was better off and that he should pretend as if he hadn’t seen her. She wanted to go and he should let her. He just couldn’t.

Without of ever being aware he ever moved, Dean rose from his chair, ran up the stairs and into the rain after her. He told himself he needed to know she was going to be okay and that was all. Dean knew he was lying to himself but he wasn’t ready to face that lie. Having her leave was one thing, but ruining their friendship was not something he was prepared to do.

“Y/N!” Dean called after her and she froze, slowly turning around to face him. Dean’s heart broke when he saw the tears streaming down her face, mixing with the rain.

“I can’t stay. I can’t do this anymore,” she sobbed and Dean had to fight to not run to her and pull her against his chest. He had no right to ask her to stay. He had nothing to offer her. She deserved an apple pie life, a husband that could keep her safe and not put her in danger by merely loving her. She deserved everything Dean wished he could give her, but would never come close to possessing.   

“It’s okay. Just… just promise me you are going to be okay,” Dean begged, desperately wanting to ask her to stay, but he couldn’t.

“I can’t. I don’t know that I will be. All I know is it beats the alternative. I can’t stay here with you without really staying with you,” she was full on crying now and Dean’s eyes opened wide in shock. Was she really saying what he thought she was saying.

“Would you be okay if you stayed with me?” Dean asked carefully, using her words, afraid he had misunderstood her. He didn’t want to cause her more pain that she was already going through.

“Dean… please don’t make this any harder. This wasn’t supposed to happen,” she pleaded with him, but Dean couldn’t stop. Not now. Not if there was a chance he had been what she had hallucinated about. Not if there was a chance he could make it real for her.

“Y/N/N sweetheart, just tell me,” Dean carefully took a step forward, no longer paying attention to the cold or the rain. All he saw was the girl standing right in front of him, looking as scared as he felt.

“I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with my best friend okay! I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with the only person I have ever been sure about since I lost everything. I am not supposed to be happy that any of this happened, because if it hadn’t I wouldn’t have met him!” she was screaming at him now, but Dean just looked at her. His heart broke for her and he had no idea how to make it better. He had no idea what to say so he said the three words that kept repeating themselves over and over in his mind as his eyes rested upon her.

“I love you,” the words fell from his lips and Y/N stopped. She stopped screaming. She stopped moving. She just stood there staring at him, so Dean swallowed harshly before taking a deep breath, slowly walking towards her.

“I can’t give you a normal life or any of the things that were in that dream of yours, but I love you. If you stay I promise you that will never change and I will do anything to keep you safe. Y/N I…”

Before he could say another word Y/N interrupted him. “I dreamed of this. Here. The Bunker. Sam. Cas. The only change was us. I love you too Dean.”

Dean felt as if the wind had been knocked from his lungs. Of everything she could have said, those words had been the last he expected. Then a smile slid across his face as he took a last step towards her. “That doesn’t have to be a dream sweetheart,” Dean promised her. He had no idea who of them moved first. All he felt was his arms around her and hers around his neck as he kissed her. He kissed her with everything he had been holding back for years and he felt her do the same. They were both out of breath when the broke apart and Dean tenderly rested his forehead against hers, laughing when she whispered, asking him if this was real.

“It’s very real Y/N/N and so will our colds be if we don’t get our asses back inside soon,” he teased making her laugh with him.Their eyes met and his heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t remember anyone looking at him like she did in that moment. Like he was her entire world. It was terrifying and intoxicating at the same time.

“I love you Dean Winchester. You and this life is all I want,” she promised as if she read his mind and Dean smiled kissing her again. He wasn’t going to screw this up. Not this time. Not with her. He was going to be there for her and keep her safe. She was going to keep him sane and human.

Dean wrapped his arms around her, making her squeal and laugh as he lifted her off ground along with her bag, carrying her back inside the Bunker with him, promising himself tonight would be the last time he’d ever even come close to losing her. Dean would give up his life before he let anything happen to her and he would make sure every monster knew it would be the end of theirs if they as much as looked at her wrong.

“Stop worrying and take me to bed,” Y/N spoke softly in his arms, her hand playing with the hairline on his neck. He smiled and shook his head, impressed she always seemed to know what he was thinking.

The bag fell to the floor at the bottom of the stairs but Y/N stayed in Dean’s arms for the rest of the night, as he proved his love for her over and over again, making Sam wish he had gone to a motel for the night.   

Dean Tag Team

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