#being a man was more than being tough and unemotional | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daydreamerdrew · 1 year

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Comics read this past week:

Marvel Comics:

Iron Man (1968) #47-53

In this batch of Iron Man solo comics I went from March 1972 to August 1972. Issue #47 was written by Roy Thomas, penciled by Barry Windsor-Smith, and inked by Jim Mooney, though a large part of it was retelling Iron Man’s origin story from Tales of Suspense (1959) #39, which was plotted by Stan Lee, scripted by Larry Leiber, and drawn by Don Heck. And issues #48-53 were written by Mike Friedrich, penciled by George Tuska, and inked by Vince Colletta, though Jim Starlin is also credited for some of the penciling on issue #53. And, interestingly enough, the editor of the book changed from Stan Lee to Roy Thomas with issue #50.

Issue #47 began with describing Tony in the Iron Man armor as appearing "like a great insensate robot" but wishing that he was "indeed a thing of unfeeling metal, instead of only a very vulnerable man in an armored shell." The context is that he was attending a funeral as Iron Man, which seems to have been to help him hide his emotions from the other people attending. This was interesting to pair with a retelling of his origin story as Iron Man, which was told through the lens of him reminiscing on it while wondering whether or not there needs to be an Iron Man. In that original story it was presented that Tony needed to wear the entire Iron Man suit to live and would be forever trapped in it, and so while his original flesh body was still living inside it, the armor was framed as essentially his new body. It's said that "the iron frame must duplicate virtually every action of the human body" and the chest plate specifically was referred to as "the life-giving heart of your iron body." This causes Tony to question, "Can the thing I have created survive? This thing which is less than human- yet somehow far more? This thing which now is- Tony Stark! And yet- am I truly Tony Stark anymore- when, in order to remain alive, I must stay forever in this walking iron prison?" When a villain refers to him as a robot, Tony doesn't correct them and identifies himself as an iron man, not at that point a superhero identity but just a description of what he is. And the story ended on the vague note that, "As for the Iron Man- that metallic hulk who once was Anthony Stark- who knows what destiny awaits him? Time alone will provide the answer. Time alone…" The next issue of Tales of Suspense provided the answer that Tony was not in fact no longer able to live as Tony Stark and that he only needed the chest plate, which he could keep hidden under his clothes, to live. The idea of Tony being trapped inside the Iron Man armor has come up a few times since then and this point in the comics with various stories only temporarily making his health issues so extreme that he couldn't leave it, but I think that Tony wishing, even only during this funeral scene in issue #47, that he was actually an unemotional robot and not a fully feeling person, has interesting implications for his identification with the Iron Man armor.

Issue #47 also presented for the first time that Tony had had the idea for the Iron Man armor and was working on prototypes for it prior to being kidnapped in Vietnam and having to make the firt legitimate suit while he was a prisoner there in order to escape and not die from the shrapnel near his heart. I think that this lessens the drama of Tony having to build a full suit of armor in order to power and protect his heart and that he had made this amazing technological advancement when he was in a tough situation where he either had to pull it off or die if he was just always going to make the armor going through that.

Tony's relationship with Marianne had a lot of development in this batch of issues. In issue #47 Marianne piles on to Tony's already growing insecurities by asking him, at a crucial moment, "Why must there be an Iron Man?" Though that issues ends with Tony feeling affirmed in his decision to be Iron Man, and we don't see them later discuss that she'd said that, in issue #48 Tony goes on one of his classic monologues about how he can't live a normal life, which he usually uses to refer to having a girlfriend or wife, and then afterwards brushes off Marianne, his fiancé, when she tries to talk to him. Later than issue the two of them go to a party together, where Marianne notices that Tony had "two drinks more than he ever has at a party" and then has to pull him away from getting into a fight after he hears someone make a comment about the problems at Stark Industries. On their way home, Tony drives recklessly, which the narrator describes as therapeutic for him, as Marianne is saying, "Tony- slow down! You're going much too fast! You'll kill us both! Please- for my sake- pull over on this ridge- please?!" Then they have a talk where Marianne tells him, "You've got to maintain control- keep yourself from falling to pieces!" This conversation nearly ends with Tony crying and comforted in Marianne's arms, but just before that happens he's pulled away by a call for Iron Man, which he accepts while saying, "If ever in my life I wanted to stay with you- to have you warm and near me- this is it!"

In issue #49 Marianne has a vision that she is also in of Tony dying as Iron Man and scared that by being with him she's endangering him by making it possible for it to come true. Tony is worried, but also thinks to himself, "How can a warm and loving, but powerless girl harm an iron man?" This issue ends with Marianne helping Tony to an electrical outlet as he was running out of power in the Iron Man suit, but then running away from him when she gets overwhelmed by another vision, convinced that her presence will kill him, leaving him to die alone of a heart attack. Tony manages to just barely crawl to the electrical outlet at the beginning of issue #50, but being abandoned by Marianne in that critical moment has shaken him. The narration compares her footsteps as she ran away to nails into Tony's heart. He says that, "I trusted Marianne- she held my life like a tender eggshell- then almost crushed it!" This experience prompts an internal monologue about Tony's thoughts on death and his control over his life, which ends in him deciding, "Marianne… There's no room for you in my fragile life- this is the fate- and the wish- of an Iron Man!"

In issue #51 Tony returns to his private quarters at Stark Industries and is angered to find Marianne there, as she was having a breakdown because of her powers and went to a place that she felt safe. He tells her, "You deserted me when I needed you most- I can't forget that! I realized I'm going to have to make it on my own strength- and no one else's!" Her response is that, "I have needs and feelings too! But you can't understand that! You don't want to understand! You're no more than a robot now, mister- a cold-steel machine!" He just tells her that their engagement is off and that she should leave her ring with his secretary. Though afterward he thinks to himself, "Proud of yourself, Tony, driving out the only girl to whom you dared drop the metal shield around your heart?" Marianne doesn't leave the Stark Industries property immediately as she realizes that the circumstances of her vision are about to occur, but Tony dismisses her pleas for him to flee from the battle, and then ultimately the fault in his armor that caused him to die in her vision doesn't happen. After this, Tony tells her, "I don't want to see you again- for your own sake!"

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In issue #52 Tony says that, "My engagement to Marianne Rodgers tied me down- now I'm free! Free to move- like Stark Industries has to move… There's only one alternative- and that's to die!" A montage splash page depicts him as golfing, snorkeling, and dancing under the moon light with different woman while on a vacation in California. This stands in contrast to how when Marianne was first introduced in issue #36, that was in a unique moment where Tony had briefly quit being Iron Man because he felt that his superhero responsibilities had taken over his life and prevented him from enjoying himself, but that now, "I'm declaring a moratorium on death… on the living death of Tony Stark! Starting tonight, we're going to see the new, improved playboy industrialist! Tonight… Tony Stark comes alive!" Marianne is the girl who he calls up to hang out with that night, and in the course of that evening events occurred that made him go back to being Iron Man, but Marianne stayed in his life. It seems significant to me that in issue #36 Tony had been framing the conflict between being Iron Man or and Tony Stark as entirely a conflict between being a superhero or a millionare playboy, with no mention of the other part of Tony Stark's life, that of a genius inventor and business. He ultimately told himself that Iron Man is "who makes your sickening social life worth living," and that if he stopped being Iron Man, he'd lose "the only decent thing in you." In the time inbetween issue #36 and issue #52 Tony has changed to allow for playboying as Tony Stark alongside being Iron Man without these kinds of moral qualms, and I think it's relevant to that that in issue #50 Tony announced that, "We at S.I. have too long been synonymous with war research… weapons… We want to change that… diversity into pollution control… consumer goods. We're out to help men as always- but in new ways!" I'm thinking that Tony is now more comfortable with the Tony Stark part of his life, including the playboying part of that, because he now has more positive associations with it as he's prouder of the work he's doing at Stark Industries. Also, in issue #52 Tony notably turns down a drink offered by a woman, saying, "You may have heard I've been a bit reckless lately- but that's behind me!"

Issue #51 ends with Marianne comes to the realization that, while she still loves him, "Now Tony only trusts himself- leaving me… where?" In issue #52 Marianne gets a job that she throws herself into to try to get her mind off of Tony, which she succeeds at for a time as a very focused worker, but eventually her mind snaps and she's overwhelmed by visions of monsters that cause her to freak out and start destroying everything around her. She's last seen being led away by a nurse.

In issue #48 Tony says, "When you strip off that steel-mesh armor you become a frail man- a man who has everything, but a man to be pitied. Yes, pitied- because underneath that powerful physique pounds a transplanted heart, kept beating by the iron thinness of a chestplate powerpack! And you refuse to allow that pity to reveal your dependency- to admit you don't have… control!" This is when he was still engaged to Marianne, but he notably brushes her off when she tries to talk to him right after this. Tony talking about not wanting to be pitied reminded me of how back in issue #3, when Tony had gone into seclusion because he couldn't leave his Iron Man armor, but was also too weak to build the new chestplate that was capable of powering his ever more-damaged heart, even though he was still mentally capable of designing it, he said "It'd be so easy to call for help- to throw my problem open to the world. But what then? A life spent flat on my back- an object of pity? I'll take my chances this way rather than go from being Iron Man to that!" His assumption was that if people learned about his health issues, they'd stop him from living his life on his own terms and he'd become a pitiable bedridden 'object' dependent on other people, and so he decided that he'd rather risk dying while on his own than involve anyone else. This is slightly different than how he spoke in issue #48 as there he was thinking about himself as pitiable and needing to hide it, and not as being scared of becoming pitiable. In issue #50, after he has just barely managed to crawl to an electrical outlet to plug himself in while having a heart attack, which was after Marianne abandoned him, Tony thinks, "It's a matter of pride- I'm gonna carry this bum heart unhindered- or unaided- by anyone else!" At this point he sees involving other people in his health issues as firstly something that would hold him back, and then secondly as something that could possibly benefit him.

Issue #49 opens with that Tony's employees are calling him a "man of iron." The context of this is that he has taken back control of Stark Industries and intends to pivot it in a new direction after the company had been going downhill under the previous management. This is a positive comparison to his famous bodyguard that is secretly also himself by the employees that trust and support him, but not quite. I think that the connotations of being an Iron Man versus a man of iron are pretty different. The former, which refers to the superhero identity, emphasizes more than he is an invincible substitute for a man, whereas the latter, which refers to the respectable businessman identity, frames him as the pinnacle of a man as determined by him being invincible.

In issue #50, after the latest in a long line of heart attacks that nearly killed him, Tony has an internal monologue about death. He wonders, "Why is it I battle mortality so much? What slavish force swells within me, driving me to cling to existence- no matter what the cost? At times I've seen it as fear- unwilling to trade known life for the greatest of uncertainties… But at others, like now, I feel a stream of destiny, demanding I seize control of my unique talents… and utilize them fully… as ought a man of iron! For in control there is strength!" It seems that at this point in his life, because he is so scared of the weakness caused by his heart condition, it's particularly important for Tony to feel strong and to feel in control of his life.

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At the beginning of issue #51 Tony was overseeing as Iron Man a Stark Industries rocket experiment, which unfortunately fails, that was part of the company's pivot away from weapons manufacturing. Afterwards he says that he wants everyone to get back to work immediately, but the employees as initially resistant to doing what Iron Man told them to because "Tony Stark gives us our orders- not his bodyguard!" Tony tells them, as Iron Man, "Listen to me- I've got Tony's complete backing! Either this project succeeds- or we're all up the creek!" This is surprising to one of the employees, who says, "Iron Man's pushing as hard as Stark himself! You'd think he had a personal stake in it!" The other employees response is that "we all do" and that, if the company's pivot doesn't work out, "We'll have no place to turn! No wonder Shellhead's upset!" It's interesting to me that this is how Tony's employees interpret the overlap between him and Iron Man, who they believe is like them, another employee of Tony's, that it's only reflective of how they should all feel as employees of Stark Industries. Later in that issue, another employee calls Tony to alert him of a crisis, and when Tony tells him to calm down and just explain what happened, the employee says to Tony, "Sorry, sir- I can't be as cool and unemotional as you!" The truth is that Tony had been relieved when he was called about an emergency because it happened just as he broke up with Marianne, thinking, "I almost need a crisis to divert my attentions!" But he ultimately framed that comment about him being unemotional as, "Little do my employees know! If only they could feel my adrenalin pumping- shoving me head-long into battle! I may be locked inside this iron 'machine'- but it's a machine gifted- with awesome power! The power of Iron Man!" It was strange that Iron Man would get upset at the beginning of the issue not because it's not excepted of Iron Man to get upset, but because it was strange he would react like he has as personal of a stake in the company as Tony Stark does, whereas the expectation of Tony is instead that he's cold and unemotional like a robot. Here being Iron Man is an escape from Tony's personal issues and his feelings about them, but it's also the identity in which he can more openly express in his feelings.

Fawcett Comics:

the Captain Marvel stories in Whiz Comics (1940) #63-65 and in Captain Marvel Adventures (1941) #44-46

In this batch of Captain Marvel stories I went from February 1946 to April 1946. There was one Captain Marvel story per issue of Whiz Comics, and originally it was that there were four per issue of Captain Marvel Adventures, but that changed with Captain Marvel Adventures #45 to be three stories, for a total of thirteen Captain Marvel stories read in this batch. These stories ranged from seven to eleven pages.

The story “The Monster Society of Evil Chapter 23: Mr. Mind’s School for Evil” (written by Otto Binder; drawn by C.C. Beck) in Captain Marvel Adventures #44 had a cute initial premise that Mr. Mind, still recovering from the amnesia he had in the previous chapter, has to attend his own school for evil in order to relearn how to come up with evil plots. He takes it very seriously, starting in the kindergarten and working his way up through all the grades, and is set to graduate as the star pupil as long as he can go out and pull off an evil deed in the real world as a final assignment.

The story “Captain Marvel Gets Mothered” (written by Otto Binder; possibly drawn by C.C. Beck) in Captain Marvel Adventures #45 begins with Sterling Morris telling Billy that he only has eighty-eight seconds for his radio broadcast, meaning that Billy has to rush through it all, saying, "HellofolksthisisBillyBatsonyourboybroadcastergivingyouthenewsoftheday! Flash- robbery! Flash- murder! Flash- Flash- Flash- Flash!" This is then revealed to Billy to be because they needed the time for a woman to do a commercial as part of Station Whiz's new soap sponsorship. Afterwards, the woman is overzealous when thanking Billy for giving her some of his time and out of politeness he invites her to dinner at his apartment as she's from out of town and doesn't know the restaurants. This results in the woman declaring that Billy is lacking a mother's care and that she's going to stay with him instead of getting a hotel room and that they'll all then be one big happy family, to Billy's begrudgement as he describes it as, "All I did was be kind and invite her for dinner- and now my life isn't my own!" And the deference to the woman's authority carries over to Captain Marvel, who allows her to tell him what to do when he fights criminals that night. Eventually, just as Billy is thinking to himself, "Oh golly! Another day and night with Mrs. Simpson mothering me to death!" he learns that the woman's job for the soap company is taking her to another city. She tells him, "Poor Billy! How you're going to miss my motherly presence! But get along the best you can without me!" Meanwhile Billy is thinking, "She's a bit- er- forceful! But she meant well all the time!" and is pleased to be able to give his radio show at a normal speed.

The story “Captain Marvel has a Dull Day” (written by Otto Binder; artist unknown) in Captain Marvel Adventures #46 was based around that Captain Marvel was finding the monotony of always saving people from falling safes and stopping buildings from collapsing and such boring, and the ending of it was him getting to do something he’d never done before and so found really exciting- going fishing. It also revealed that Billy is “faithfully keeping a scrap-book of the feats and deeds of Captain Marvel.”

The story “The Monster Society of Evil Chapter 25: The End of Mr. Mind” (written by Otto Binder; penciled by C.C. Beck; inked by the Beck-Constanza studio) in Captain Marvel Adventures #46 is the final story of the serial that’s been going on since Captain Marvel Adventures #22. It’s a strangely sad tale with Mr. Mind attempting to go on with his evil plans and kill Billy Batson all on his own after the dismantlement of his Monster Society of Evil, but being unable to actually kill Billy because he’s just a little worm, and because of that attempt ultimately getting captured, put on trial, and being found guilty and given the death penalty by electric chair. This story actually coming across as a sad end to a great character makes me glad that the comics published by DC Comics in the 70s reviving the Marvel Family characters revealed that Mr. Mind had actually survived and only tricked everyone into thinking they’d killed him.

#comics read this past week #my posts

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bratz-kitten · 3 years

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attack on titan characters - birth chart analysis 🌙

Here is my take on the big 6 of Levi, Eren, Armin and Mikasa of attack on titan/shingeki no kyojin! I kept their sun signs since we know the day and month of their birthday and since I think they’re absolutely perfect. If you want me to do my take on the others (like Jean, Historia, Erwin, Hanji, Connie, Sasha, Reiner, etc) please let me know! (spoiler warning!)

Levi Ackerman

sun in capricorn - levi mf ackerman is fuelled by three things and three things only: LOYALTY, a strong moral code and power. he is seen by most people as a heartless, unemotional bastard but is canonically the most emotional character - he shows love through very indirect ways and he’s the peak of capricorn in the sense that he represses his emotions – he smiled literally ONE time in four seasons, and didn’t once shed a tear. he’s very hard to read. has a lot of respect for his superiors and follows the orders of only those he’s loyal to. he’s driven by his moral codes in the sense that the protection of humanity is his prime motive for fighting titans. like a true capricorn, is the master of his field of work and cares the most about being a survey corp member. please protect this tragic baby.

virgo rising - two words: CLEAN FREAK. this man has a strong need to be presentable at all times and hates getting blood on his hands for the single fact that he needs himself and his environment to be clean. his obsession with being clean is very much due to his childhood trauma and how he lived in in poor conditions in the underground. he has many quirks that correlate with this: the way he holds his cup, the carvat he uses bc of his mother, and the way he always cuts his own hair because that’s the way his mother used to do it. intimidating and demands respect. DRY HUMOUR.

moon in scorpio - i think he has many similarities with mikasa, especially in the moon and venus. introverted and hates people but will go to the ends of the earth to protect the ones he loves and respects. represses emotions and internalizes his hatred until he has a mental breakdown - which happens in the form of extreme violence. VERY sensitive and emotional even if he doesn’t show it. he’s very intuitive and often acts based on gut; he’s secretive and vindictive. very wise and great at giving advice. doesn’t let himself get manipulated and uses shitty situations to his advantage (like with the reeves company). trust is the most important thing to him.

mercury in aquarius - levi is extremely logical, and hates when others involve their feelings in the making of decisions. his decisions are always backed up by strong arguments and others often see him as cold and detached. i saw someone mention something extremely interesting about aquarius mercury’s/people with their mercuries in the 11th house: despite not being very sociable, others are drawn to them for friendships – and often they’re the introverts who get “adopted” by extroverts. this is 100% levi’s case, hanji and erwin practically adopted him. being very vulgar with his words and having a distinctive sense of humour, he’s very humanitarian and is actually really talkative but only when he’s very comfortable around someone. blunt, always tells it like it is – like when he tells eren he can’t know what the right choice really is and he needs to choose it himself. teases and insults his friends as a form of affection.

mars in scorpio - levi’s a fighter, a survivor. he knows what it’s like to come from nothing and have to build himself up. very confrontational. reclaims his power by exerting intimidation and mastering violence. others fear doing as much as make a joke at his expense. understands other’s motivations and characters very easily. he’s very intuitive. very serious due to his need for having an intense and demanding presence, for being respected and valued. he’s the one who everyone sighs of relief when things go to shit and he appears because you know he’s the strongest and most dependable person.

venus in capricorn - good luck getting this motherfucker to open up. his trust is very hard to gain but is necessary for working with him – he places his full trust in his comrades and demands the same from them. very work-oriented and takes relationships very serious; it’s really telling that he cares little for romance because capricorn venuses are the ones to date to marry, and will only devote themselves to someone once they believe they’ve met the one. they either want a more powerful and mature partner or they exude that energy (levi is the latter). slightly parental – we see this in the way that levi is pretty much the dad figure. it’s called squad levi for a reason, after all. very responsible. takes care of loved ones and often uses tough love as a form of discipline.

Eren Jaeger - im not even kidding with this one, he has extreme aries energy

sun in aries - eren feels the need to be very independent and he hates whenever he has to depend on mikasa and others, wanting to be strong enough to reverse the roles. he’s very self-confident, bold and direct. very impulsive, he’s quick to anger but is also very quick to forget - especially seen with his arguments with jean, fighting him is basically a love language at this point. aries suns are very fast thinkers and their strong energy may come off as intimidating. they have great intentions but that often becomes muddled with their impulsivity and the fact that they don’t think ideas through. eren is unabashedly himself and fights relentlessly for what he wants. his aries energy also makes him extremely motivated! he believes in the impossible and will make it happen no matter what.

aries rising – aries risings are the trailblazers. they ooze intensity. eren has very much a baby face and, due to his impulsivity and childish charm, people tend to baby him a lot – in the sense that he’s this kid surrounded by adults who needs supervision at all times or he’ll get into deep shit. aries risings are also marked by their extreme need for action, they’re the ones to do now and apologize later instead of asking for permission to do something in the first place. he is guided by his passion and is a natural leader who inspires everyone to fight alongside him. aries risings have a lot of energy which they need to express in a physical way, making them be prone to be very athletic and lead very active lives. he’s also extremely competitive and is driven by the force of becoming stronger than mikasa, and often feels angry when he realizes how stronger than him other people can be. at the same time, this pressure to be better is put solely on himself. he’s a dumbass with a good-heart and pure intentions.

moon in sagittarius – all this motherfucker talks about is freedom and seeing the world past the walls. he craves adventure and is extremely optimistic. but even if a sagittarius moon needs their freedom, they are still absolutely ride-or-dies and once they’ve commited to something, NOTHING or NO ONE can stop their determination. these are also the people to try their best to always appear cheerful and full of determination to hide their sad façade – like when he was nearly vomiting when talking about the titans to the other recruits when they began the training in the military but still forced himself to say that the titans aren’t scary at all and that they aren’t a big deal; he naturally inspires others and fills them with courage. but the way they put on this strong and brave façade leads to a strong emotional turmoil, violent urges and a sudden hostility to others. they are filled with surpressed anger that can lead them through very destructive paths – and the happy-go-lucky child might just lose her hope. we see this in eren in the most heartbreaking way.

mercury in aries – LOUD!!! eren speaks what’s on his mind with NO hesitation whatsover. he’s very quick to defend his friends and points of view, and speaks openly about his passions and dreams. he’s very assertive and tenacious. short attention span and not afraid to give a different opinion from someone else’s. very passionate about what he argues about. very expressive and when an aries mercury disagrees with you, you’ll know it immediately by their facial expression. confident and thrives on inspiring others. remember him being mad when it was discovered the possibility of all titans being humans because now he didn��t know who the enemy is and he NEEDS to hate someone and blame them in order to keep going? ARIES MERCURY ENERGY!!

mars in aries - people look to mars in aries to lead them. they’re full of energy and dynamic, and very athletic - eren exceeds at hand-to-hand combat and, in the other subjects where he’s not so good, his determination makes him push forward and become better. VERY hot-headed and confrontational, which is both the source of all their problems and their strength - they are not afraid of going after what they want and are willing to go through any obstacle to do so, and they’re also not afraid of upsetting other people in order to do so. eren is courageous, loves to take initiative and is very enthusiastic - something that is very contageous. competitive and hates compromise, he likes getting his own way. aries mars are also very individualistic and can have a huge ego.

venus in pisces - i know this is going to confuse a lot of people - like, how does he have so much aries energy, how is he so intense yet has one of the softest venus placements? i deeply believe he’s a pisces venus, and here’s why. his friends are EVERYTHING to him. pisces venus’ love very deeply and are very dependent on their loved ones, and eren is extremely protective of his loved ones and is willing to do anything to protect them. pisces venus’ are very vengeful, too, something that people seem to brush off about them - they might not do anything when you mess with them but as soon as you mess with their friends it’s game over. i also get a lot of “there was no other way, the word had to be fixed” vibes from this placement? like, this placement gives me the energy of someone willing to commit awful crimes under the excuse of it being for the greater good, which is something he dramatically experiences as he grows older and witnesses the cruelty of the world.

Armin Arlert

sun in scorpio - armin very resourceful!! he easily adapts to the circunstances he’s in and works his way around it. very intelligent and with great memory. extremely manipulative, cunning and perceptive. scorpios are known for their capability to be great investigators due to their natural curiosity, and armin has this deep need to see the world outside of the walls and he studies all there is to know about it with great passion. determined to succeed.

cancer rising - armin just wants to achieve his dream and it’s so soft. cancer risings are very receptive of other’s emotions and incredibly sensitive, but it’s difficult for them to open up to others. his appearance is very soft and delicate. loves to help others and has a naturally warm presence that makes others feel comfortable in his presence. give off a very grounded and stable energy, but this is often because they try to hide their most intense emotions and don’t know how to deal with them/don’t want to bother others by opening up about it.

moon in pisces - one word: EMPATHY!!! very compassionate. tendency to become a martyr and be very self-sacrificial. VERY imaginative, he is the strategist, after all. can feel others emotions and read them very easily. avoids confrontation but feels a strong need to take the weight off of others’ shoulders and to solve all their problems. very loving and giving, in tune with his emotions and emotionally intelligent. on the other side, this caring side of him can make him see other people through rose-colored glasses, and he is prone to believing in the best in people and giving them the benefit of the doubt. but when they’ve proven their true nature to him, he’ll see them for what they are and will no longer defend them, even if still feeling remorse. notice how he’s always like “this had to be done, we had no other choice” to justify his actions.

mercury in scorpio - bro armin’s eyes are so intense. when he gets on his manipulative bullshit it’s IMPOSSIBLE to look away from his gaze. he practically communicates through the eyes. armin is very sharp and his innocent appearance has everyone still thinking of him as a sweet angel as if he isn’t a whole war criminal. he easily psychoanalizes others to know what they want and uses it to his advantage, like how he used berthold’s love for annie to manipulate him to let eren go after him and reiner kidnapped him. scorpio mercuries be knowing shit, they be knowing everyone’s secrets and others usually confide in them as if they’re their therapists.

mars in pisces - mars in pisces makes a person avoid physical confrontation at all costs. notice how armin’s first response to everyone wanting to kill reiner and bertold/the marleyans was “please let’s just talk about this first”? he hates violence and deems it not worthy most times. he is very physically weak and aware of his limitations, unlike eren and levi, whose first instinct is to use violence in order to get what they want. no, armin has developed a much more subtle and effective way to get what he wants without using violence: emotional manipulation. he is the KING of appearing innocent and naïve and having people feel bad for him and want to baby him and protect him, and due to his extremely intuitive nature, he knows EXACTLY what to say to someone to get under their skin. he twists his words and emotions to get what he needs out of people and it’s both incredible and dangerous. also, very self-sacrifical and his goals are based on his emotions.

venus in cancer - he loves so much and it’s so beautiful and heartbreaking. he gives everything to the ones he loves and thrives off of being helpful and keeping everyone safe. reads a lot into the behaviour of the people he loves. very emotionally intelligent, wants stability and to maintain peace and may bend over backwords to achieve that. needs to feel understood and has a soft spot for troubled people, those who are more demanding and assertive (eren and mikasa), people he can take care of and who can take care of him in return. very affectionate and communicative. warm presence, you can pretty much feel the love radiating out of him.

Mikasa Ackerman

sun in aquarius - if you get past the emotional walls of an aquarius that has them appearing detached and distant because they’d rather use intelligence than seem emotional, you’ll be met with an incredibly soft, loving and caring person. an aquarius strength is their ability to be very unique, individualistic and humanitarian individuals - they truly march to the beat of their own drum. mikasa possesses a great deal of determination and isn’t afraid of being rebellious, especially when her loved ones are in danger.

capricorn rising - people with capricorn rising had to learn to be very independent from a very young age. mikasa is very intimidating but she has a very doll-like beauty, common to many capricorn risings. these people have had to deal with a lot ever since childhood, but they are fighters and their determination has them being able to survive even unsurmountable odds stacked up against them. capricorn risings tend to be serious and disciplined, and with a melancholic aura to them – which mikasa perfectly embodies. but the fact that these people have cancer in their descendant makes them strongly emotionally attached to their loved ones.

aquarius moon - even under the most stressful and dangerous situations, mikasa always remains in control of her emotions. she thrives in those situations, it’s the adrenaline of the moment that has her being so good at controlling her emotions until it’s safe to be anything but racional again. aquarius moons are feel very misunderstood and tend to racionalize their emotions a lot. however, it’s only due to their fear of vulnerability that they build this emotional walls, because they experience very intense emotions. i always think about that survey corp member saying “what did you have to go through for you to be like this?” when she was perfectly stable in a life-or-death situation.

mercury in capricorn - mikasa is incredibly action-oriented and she speaks in a structured but confident way. although she’s on the quieter side and is reserved, she’s able to inspire everyone when all hope seems lost, and she’s taken up eren’s words of “if we don’t fight, we can’t win” and uses it constantly in order to keep going. she’s very hard to read due to her usually expressionless face, giving her a mysterious aura. she’s very ambitious, persuasive and determined.

mars in capricorn - when people say that mars in capricorn people are the scariest when they’re angry, they’re not wrong. they act so calm and collected until suddenly they’re fixing you with a death glare and you’re rethinking all your life choices up until this point. mikasa might be extremely rational and calm, but as soon as someone threatens the ones she loves, she’ll stop at nothing to eliminate the threat. it’s like she fears nothing but ever being unable not to save them. she’s very responsible and reliable, with a lot of physical strength and stamina. very PROTECTIVE, grounded and GIVING

venus in virgo - this is one of the things that makes mikasa so similar to levi, the way they love. this bitch is LOYAL to her very core. she knows very well where her loyalties are - eren and armin - and is ready to kill all her close friends and superiors in order to protect them. she threatened to kill historia if she got in the way of getting eren back home safely, jumped levi on sight when he wanted to save erwin instead of armin, and got pissed at connie for doubting eren’s intentions after the whole marleyan ordeal. acts of service are very much her love language - she constantly picks up eren’s and armin’s stuff and carries it herself or orders them to rest while she works. it’s very hard to gain her trust and loyalty but once you do it’s forever, she’s very selective about the people she cares for. she’s possessive, too - giving historia the coldest death glare in the world when she saw her with eren. i’ve also noticed that venus in virgo are very difficult to declare their emotions!! they’ll just wait for the person to notice their indirect acts of affection. very attentive to the needs and details of loved ones.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #levi #levi ackerman #eren #eren jaeger #eren yeager #mikasa #mikasa ackerman #armin #armin arlert #birth chart analysis #astrology

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wakeupfreanz · 3 years

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What's blocking you? PAC Reading 🎭

I was being prodded yet again to chalk this up for the collective before I could sleep, bless up. 🥴 Pick an image that you feel drawn to and receive what you will. This reading may answer your questions as of now, explain the past, or provide context for the coming future.

Cards: Justice, KoS rev, WOF, PoC rev, Full Moon in Virgo, Full Moon in Leo, Third Quarter Moon

Many, MANY if not most of you in this pile are keeping it all to yourself. Especially your feelings, you're holding your truth with an iron grip fist. People in this pile might have some pain with the lower back, right shoulder blade, have poor posture when sitting, and might have problems with the right leg/ankle. You are the main cause of the blockage as of right now, you're the biggest force standing in your own way. You're thoughts could consist of something along the lines of "I can't fuck it up if I don't try to begin with". You need to give yourself the chance to try, whether you fail or not. Many of you could have virgo, capricorn, or libra placements in this pile. Stop acting as if you haven't gotten any guidance, have no access to guidance, or help at your very fingertips. It's all there right in front of you, you're blinding yourself and muddying your mind with being indecisive. You're snubbing yourself from something very great, especially if this has to do with career, school, asking for a raise/promotion. Go fucking do it.

Cards: KoC rev, KnoW rev, AoP, 3oC rev, New Moon Eclipse, Gibbous Moon, Waxing Moon

Similarly to pile one, many of you are not speaking about how you feel to others. But it's worse than pile one, you likely have a tendency to tell people you're doing "fine" as a knee jerk response as if you've been caught red handed. You avoid talking about feelings that are anything more than surface level. What's now blocking you is your worry of being let down. So you're taking a very lax and almost lazy approach to whatever this is. You're not trying as hard as you should and you know it. You're not chasing it with passion because you want to manage your expectations in case it doesn't turn out how you'd want it to. Some of you may have Gemini or earth placements. Many of you in this group have a stiff upper back. Some of you might be the messy friend who's being taken care of by the mom friend or the "problem child" in your family. I'm going to tell you right now, hike up your britches and stop snuffing out your own fire. You are going to succeed, majorly. Exponentially and SIGNIFICANTLY. Things are heating up and you're being called to stop burning yourself out man. Specifically, there is also a Leo/someone with Leo placements that has this as a perpetual habit, stop it.

Cards: Sun rev, Justice rev, Chariot rev, 10oW, First Quarter Moon, New moon in Sagittarius, New Moon in Scorpio

Some of you could have pain in the nape of the neck, pain in the right arm, or stomach issues. What's blocking those in this pile is their pessimism. You may often cycle through having hope and then something small happens that sets you back 5 steps out of disappointment. Your manifestations are falling completely flat because your heart isn't in it. You've tried to reconcile with this and say that "this is just how the world is". However you're due for a mental tune up to fix your frame of mind. It's tough because you likely are the type of person who not only carries your own burdens but the burdens of others as well. You're not velcro or carpet, stop picking up other peoples shit. You don't have to pretend to be unemotional or apathetic about it, it's really biting you on the ass. Some of you have heavy scorpio or taurus placements in this pile. Luck is on your side, but you're being tested to see if you can really hold a flame to your belief and stand against the odds. Your loved ones are safe, it's time to do something for yourself for once. Work to change your frame of mind and give it a valiant effort. Godspeed pile 3.

Cards: 2oP rev, 5oW rev, 10oP rev, 9oS rev, 7oP, New Moon in Virgo, Mutable Moon, Void of course Moon

As I was shuffling I had to stop and visualize. Some of you in this pile may own a brown poodle or keep a small snake. Some of you in this pile might have chronic health problems, possibly one in relation to the stomach/digestive, or chronic pain like arthritis, or carpal tunnel. The blockage for this pile is your worry that things could suddenly change. You're petrified that your plans will turn upside down and you won't be able to regain control. You may worry about losing complete control of what goes on in your life. Some of you could struggle with anxiety, particularly in the existential things or intrusive thoughts. You're worried that you can just never get too comfortable. You're being called to accept and embrace the flow of life. Things will come and go, material items are only temporary. I advise many of you in this pile to practice mindfulness and being present in the moment. Many of you could have a mix of air, earth, or scorpio in you. Nothing is yet set in stone, so stop holding your breath and try to relax. You're causing yourself to constantly hang in the balance and agonize over one thing after the next. I wish you peace and the best of luck.

#kpop tarot #kpop readings #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pac reading #kpac #kpop predictions

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comrade-meow · 3 years

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It's not enough to just listen - men need a seismic shift in our behaviour, starting with jokey banter

There are many factors that create somebody like Wayne Couzens but only a seismic shift in our concepts of masculinity will cure our society

Men have killed 80 women in this country since a man killed Sarah Everard in March.

If it reads jarringly put like that: good. It’s supposed to. We are so used to the insipid “officialise” of crime statistics – for the UK in 2020, there were 62,000 rapes and 1.6million women suffered domestic violence – that we no longer see what this kind of phrasing hides. “There were”. “Suffered”. Passive tense. These things didn’t just happen. Men did them. And while narratives around violence against women tend to focus on prevention, forever advising women how to avoid it happening to them – carry a rape alarm, go out in pairs, stick to well-lit streets at night, and dozens more – they rarely impress on men not to do it in the first place.

When talking to my male friends and acquaintances about the epidemic of violence against women, I’m almost always met with one or more of three reactions: “Most male attacks are on other men”; “Women are domestic abusers too”; and “Not all men”. The first two are statements of the bleeding obvious and the last confuses responsibility with involvement. All men are involved in this, for it’s a problem which one half of society foists on the other half while simultaneously blaming that other half for it. Every woman already knows she’s involved, but how curious then not every man does.

There are many factors which help perpetuate male hatred of and violence against women: physical (superior male strength), social (men see other men getting away with it), economic (at both ends of the scale; men who earn enough to feel themselves untouchable and men who earn less than they feel is their due or responsibility), cultural (deep-seated narratives of how men need to keep control of their houses), and political (a legislature which, the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 notwithstanding, seems to be doing a fraction of what it could be).

This is not just about rape and murder. It’s about the unwanted “flirtatious” comments, jokey banter, the unasked-for direct messages on social media, the touch which lingers too long, the constant low-level hum of threat and entitlement.

Attacks on women start long before physical violence; it’s in men’s conversations with our fellow men, how we treat women in our own lives and how we treat and perceive women we don’t know. Sexual abuse starts early and is a series of points on a scale. At one end is women being demeaned, called names, objectified. Next comes sexual harassment and pestering. Then sexual assault, then rape, then murder.

Not every man goes to the end of that chain, obviously, but no man who’s killed a woman has started right at the deep end either.

Only a seismic shift in the very ideal of what it means to be a man – our rights and responsibilities, our concepts of masculinity – will act as cure. Even if legislation and enforcement were adequate – which they aren’t, not even close – it’s not enough to expect them alone to handle this entire burden. Unless the change comes at the level of attitudes, hearts and minds, it’s not real change; it’s just fear of the consequences. It’s like watching motorway traffic bunch at 69 mph when there’s a police car in the inside lane and then all going back up to 90 the moment the cop car peels off. The equivalence is not in the measure of the offence, of course, but in the rationale behind it: not doing it because you know it’s wrong as opposed to not doing it because you don’t want to get caught.

Such a seismic shift will have to start early, with the values we instil in our children. Boys are taught to be tough, strong and unemotional, damaging them in two ways. First, it prevents them from accessing their own weaknesses, meaning they don’t know how to deal with emotionally anxious situations; second, it sets them up in direct opposition to women, who behave in very different ways. Boys who don’t assert their power over girls are shamed by other boys. Weaker girls are picked on because they don’t resist; more assertive girls are seen as needing to be put in their place and taken down a peg or two. There’s no way a woman, whoever she is, can win here.

Subverting this won’t be an easy process. These things take decades, centuries: they are always works in progress and they are always incomplete. But they need to start somewhere and be refreshed and improved daily. This spectrum of dismissiveness and entitlement has to stop. No: that’s the same impersonal language that has allowed us to evade responsibility. We men have to stop this, each and every one of us.

#Anglo.txt

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ak8shi · 4 years

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Astrology Analysis: Akaashi Keiji

☼ sagittarius ☽ taurus ☿ sagittarius ♀︎ capricorn ♂︎ capricorn

Masterlist

━Personality:

Akaashi takes a lot of pride in his intellect, as he should! even though he comes off extremely logical when he’s playing volleyball, he can also think abstractly and creatively. he is someone who wants to explore and travel in his lifetime. i mean, he’s great at strategizing and dealing with Bokuto at the same time, so he can juggle these different problem-solving skills.

i think we can all agree Akaashi has a calming presence in general, and he notices very subtle things happening around him that others may not pick up on, such as him being the only one to notice kageyama choking and handing him water LMAOO. the combination of his sagittarius sun and taurus moon gives him an underlying warmness, even though he may come off as aloof or stoic to others.

Akaashi is often someone who battles with whether he should be listening to his heart or to logic; he is very introspective when it comes to life and why things happen...and that’s on no matter what others may say, we are the protagonists of the world 🤪!

when I saw that his lilith sign was cancer, I had to laugh because it's SO like him💀. he hates asking others for help or leaning on others, and he probably won’t immediately tell you if something is wrong. you need to let him know that it is okay to ask for help sometimes (please someone hug him)!!!

his cap aspects also give him outstanding leadership skills, I mean he’s truly captain material! he is highly analytical and understands where his teammates are at, and he can assess tough situations aka him trying to help Bokuto lmfao.

maybe this was only surprising to me, but he’s a smooth talker okayyy, like that sag mercury? He just knows what to say except when it comes to expressing his feelings HAHA

━In a relationship:

like Kuroo, he has a taurus moon and definitely would have to know you for a long period of time before anything else; additionally, he’s not here for games with his capricorn aspects, and he simply isn’t going to waste his time...but if you’re special to him, he’ll protect you with his life honestly.

Square between Mercury and Saturn: Akaashi may not be the best at expressing himself through words at first, but when he says something, he really means it and thinks things through before speaking. i think we see this a lot with the way he talks to Bokuto, he doesn’t tease him or really make fun of him like everyone else on Fukurodani, he thinks about what is going to make the situation better to lead Bokuto into a better mood rather than saying whatever comes to mind! with a s/o I think he definitely would take into account your love language (if its words of affirmation, he would work on it), but I think his main love language would be doing acts of service for his s/o to show he cares.

Venus in Capricorn: I’m a little biased because I also have a cap venus, but I love this about him! he would woo his s/o by showing them that he has his life together basically lol, he’s the type to bring you to a coffee shop near his office to be like “oh what a coincidence..lemme tell you about my job...” Akaashi is someone who triple checks that you are the one, and then once he knows, he commits to you 1000%, ride or die type beat.

also with a cap venus, he likes to daydream about domesticity! he loves the idea of a family and settling down with his soulmate!

he is willing to work so hard for you, especially with those capricorn placements, he’s not half-assing your relationship and expects the same effort from you.

he would love a dressy night out to a high-end restaurant, and suit and tie events! don’t get me wrong, he would love spending time with you doing anything, but he just loves getting dressed up!!

━Sex/Love:

when I saw that he had a capricorn venus and mars,,, I shivered, it makes SO SO much sense to me!! He takes it slow and steady, and he likes to draw out sex. no quickies, unless you’re both extremely desperate. the most important thing for him is being in control!

I think a lot of people think he’s a soft dom… but girl that is NOT what his chart is saying… his true self falls somewhere close to hard dom sorry!

Akaashi has a conjunction between venus and mars, so he’s extremely passionate and for him, the energy formed within your relationship transfers directly to the sexual relationship, let me explain: if the relationship is more friends with benefits, he will not see it as more than that most likely. if you form a strong relationship based on strong and compassionate love, that will transfer to how he acts in the bedroom.

WHEW, okay so Akaashi gets off on seeing you unravel basically. he wants you to come as many times as possible before he’s even taken a piece of clothing off; he indulges in the feeling of being responsible for your pleasure and being the only one to control you.

however, even though he feel love towards you, he doesn’t really like lovey-dovey sex; he enjoys more dettached, rough sex, he isn’t going to go easy on you!!

he might be into pet names, even going as far as being degrading towards you(with your permission of course) and he’s definitely into things like bondage and blindfolding🥵

Akaashi is really into biting, marking, and long makeout sessions as well; he wants to see you with hickies all over.

MULTIPLE ROUNDS, period. he has great endurance and he can hold himself back from finishing for SO long, truly a man.

however, once he sees that you’ve had enough, the iciness in his eyes disappears and he turns into the king of aftercare, that taurus moon JUMPS out.

━Favorite aspects:

Trine between Moon and Neptune: I LOVE this about him he has such as affinity towards music and the arts in general. Akaashi lives with music around him as inspiration, and he’s definitely the type that listens to music pertaining to his mood!

Sextile between Moon and Saturn: Akaashi comes off very reserved not because he’s unemotional, but because he’s actually very mature. even in a crisis, he rarely loses his cool and is able to work through the situation calmly and responsibly, which is shown every time he has to deal with one of Bokuto’s mood swings on the court. he is definitely the type of person who has his shit together due to his ability to set realistic goals, prioritize, stay organized, and work diligently🤓. (Individuals with this aspect are often known to appear elegant and attractive, which is so fitting for our pretty setter!)

━Negative aspects:

Square between Sun and Saturn: as someone who doesn’t experience failure often, I can definitely see how this aspect could cause akaashi to struggle mentally. in the face of failure or someone failing to acknowledge his efforts towards something, he gets in his head immediately, he has very high standards for himself. mental blocks are common with him when he can’t seem to figure out something that is nagging him. in other words, he is very much a perfectionist and stalls when things go wrong sometimes.

#COME GET IT AKAASHI BADDIES ! find out the tea #IM FINALLY POSTING THIS IM TERRIBLE LMFAOOO #akaashi #akaashi keiji #akaashi x reader #haikyuu!!#hq #haikyu headcanons #akaashi haikyuu #akaashi keiji x reader

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dwellordream · 2 years

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“One of the most fascinating portraits of a tough woman in space appears in Alien (1979, director Ridley Scott) and the two sequels in the trilogy, Aliens and Alien 3. Sigourney Weaver plays one of the toughest women ever to hit the big screen in these films, and theorist Constance Penley calls Alien "stunningly egalitarian" ("Time Travel" 73). Even Glamour, a magazine not widely recognized for its strong feminist sentiments, praises the Aliens saga, arguing that the three films "are just sci-fi popcorn movies, but their effect on female moviegoers has been profound. Ripley, in her no-nonsense cotton tank-top bodysuit, is the first woman we've seen left standing when all the guys are dead" (Krupp 163).

Ripley is an unusual heroine, but is she more than just a "smart Rambo" as one reviewer labeled her (Kael 79)? Is Ripley, as Weaver once claimed, "lucid and powerful and unemotional" (qtd. in Weber 15), a woman who deserves our respect and admiration? How does her tough image help to explain the ways science fiction has used tough women in general? Alien begins with an introduction to Ellen Ripley and her fellow shipmates after the ship's computer awakens the crew from hypersleep, alerting them to a mysterious signal being broadcast from a nearby planet. Ripley blends in with the rest of her crew mates. She appears calm and composed, her no-nonsense image emphasized by her lack of makeup. She has yet to achieve the heroic stature that she will have in the rest of the film.

The first time Ripley's true toughness is revealed is when the captain and several crew members return to the ship after a visit to a crashed alien vessel, the source of the mysterious signal. One of the crew members has an alien organism attached to his face, and the captain wants to ignore quarantine procedures to get the injured man into the infirmary. Ripley, as acting commander while the captain is off the ship, refuses to let them in. In this nightmarish situation, Ripley's calm refusal to disobey rules and break quarantine contrasts sharply with the reaction of the only other woman on board, who snarls, half-hysterically, "Would you open the god-damn hatch? We need to get him inside." Even when Ripley is ordered by the ship's captain to open the hatch, she refuses.

Like Sarah Connor of the Terminator films (discussed in the next chapter), Ripley is tough because she is willing to sacrifice her personal wish to save her fellow crew member for the greater good of the ship and its crew. Her tough-mindedness and adherence to the rules, however, prove to be futile when a male member of the crew, Ash, the chief science officer, opens the hatch anyway. Here, we notice one common characteristic of the tough woman in space. Ripley adheres to a higher code of morality than her fellows, and she is also able to make the difficult decisions that no one else will. For her, toughness is not just a physical attribute but a moral one. She speaks the truth, even when no one wishes to hear it.

The alien organism turns out to be a true horror, with acid for blood and a zeal for murdering the ship's crew members. After the captain is killed, it is up to Ripley to keep the remaining members of the crew alive. They are divided on how to treat the beast. One wants to use maximum brute force and kill it as soon as possible. Another, Lambert, the other woman, is shrill and hysterical. Her distorted, tear-stained face contrasts sharply with Ripley's steely calm, a contrast that only deepens when the camera moves from a close inspection of Lambert's face to Ripley's. They are opposites, and as critic Judith Newton writes in her essay "Feminism and Anxiety in Alien" (1990), Lambert "functions for the most part to define what Ripley is not — emotional, feminine, unheroic" (86).

When the few surviving crew members recognize that they have been set up by the company they work for to bring back the alien, they decide to blow up the ship, taking their chances in the ship's shuttle. Again, Ripley remains calm while the rest of the crew falls apart. Whether Ripley or John Wayne, a tough hero remains cool and collected even when confronted by tremendous odds. Ultimately, Ripley's lack of emotion will save her. Only by moving away from the displays of emotion that are usually considered "normal" for women will she be able to become a tough hero, because our culture considers toughness and displays of emotion to be antithetical. With all of her comrades dead, Ripley struggles to survive, managing to blow up the ship and escape in the shuttle.

It is not so much her physical or mental toughness that allows her to survive but her moral and emotional toughness. As I have mentioned she was the only one who considered what was best for the entire crew when she refused to allow the contaminated crew member on board, an act that might have saved them all. If one accepts the common myth that women lack the moral toughness leaders require, a woman — like Lambert — is too emotional to make difficult ethical decisions. Ripley must adopt traits associated with masculinity and "act like a man" — unemotional and in control — to be considered tough and to be respected. Her masculine traits are contrasted with feminine ones, making the negative connotations of femininity (as displayed by Lambert) more overt.

Ripley is forced into femininity's opposite, masculinity, which makes her like a man. In our culture femininity and masculinity are in opposition and therefore exclude one another. Thus toughness for Ripley is not some new feminist ideal, where she takes the best parts of femininity and masculinity and forges them into a type of toughness that has not yet been seen. Instead, Ripley can be perceived as a man in a woman's body, reason enough for critics to complain about her being just another Rambo figure.6 Alien does not draw attention to Ripley's body until the end of the film, when she undresses for her hibernation sleep. Wearing only bikini underwear and a tank top, she wanders around the ship, allowing for some lingering shots of her barely covered bottom.

This scene also emphasizes Ripley's more feminine, nurturing side when she places the ship's cat, Jonesey, whom she has rescued, into a deep sleep. This scene is an important one, because it repositions Ripley as a member of girldom. As Harvey R. Greenberg points out, "When Ripley steps out of her fatigues, she becomes intensely desirable and achingly vulnerable. The sight of her nearly nude body is highly arousing, in the context of the film's previous sexual neutrality" ("Reimagining" 93). In other words, Ripley has become resexualized as a woman. The message is that it is fine for a woman to act tough and take control in outer space, but she had better be a lady when she returns to society. Clearly, the film has not come to grips with Ripley's tough image.

Viewers have a scant few moments to ogle Ripley's posterior before they discover that the alien has managed to conceal itself on board the shuttle. Even during this moment of terror, the camera insists on reminding viewers that, yes, Ripley is a girl, by focusing on her skimpily clad crotch and thighs as she slowly inches her way into a space suit. The shot detracts from her tough image and shows viewers that Ripley is and will always be a sexy, feminine woman, which, at least in our society, suggests that she is a potential victim for men. This image stays with the audience while Ripley manages to eject the alien into the vacuum of space. The final emphasis on Ripley's sexuality does a great deal to limit the threat to gender norms posed by her tough persona. Ultimately, the film seems uncomfortable leaving viewers with an image of Ripley that is too tough.

The need to contain Ripley's toughness becomes more apparent in the second film in the trilogy, Aliens (1986, director James Cameron), which has been praised as offering women empowerment and disparaged as offering women only an illusion of empowerment. Negative views of Aliens are best represented by Greenberg's essay "Fembo: Aliens' Intentions" (1988) in which he criticizes Aliens for being "hatched out of the day's conservative climate" (166). For Greenberg, the feminist potential of Aliens has been grossly overrated: "In view of Aliens' Neanderthal politics, .. . such interpretations represent far more serious misreadings than the earlier misprision of Alien" (170-71). His analysis points out some serious flaws in the second film, which presents Ripley as tough but is even more insistent than the first film on the need to contain that toughness by emphasizing her maternal, nurturing side.

Aliens starts with Ripley being discovered after a hypersleep of fifty seven years. The members of the company she reports to are disbelieving of her story about an alien with acid for blood. When they lose contact with the colonists who now live on the planet where her crew originally discovered the aliens, the company begins to believe Ripley's story. The company begs her to return, because she is the only one who knows anything about the aliens. Reluctantly, she returns to the planet. This time, however, she is not alone. She is accompanied by a group of heavily armed, super-fit marines. One of the most intriguing of the marines is Vasquez (Jenette Goldstein), a muscular Hispanic woman who appears every inch the prototypical butch lesbian and who has been described by a critic as a "stylized Chicana lesbian grunt " (Zwinger 84).

Vasquez gives a performance that has been called "ball-busting" (Elley 35). She is first shown doing chin-ups. As they do for Sarah Connor in the Terminator saga, chin-ups mark Vasquez as tough; because they require upper-body strength which women are supposed to lack, many people regard them as a male exercise. Her toughness is emphasized when one of her male comrades asks her, "Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?" and she quips, "No, have you?" The chin-ups and Vasquez's cocky attitude set her apart from Ripley, who lacks Vasquez's brashness. In many ways, the two women are antithetical. Their difference is underlined when Vasquez points to Ripley and asks her comrades, "Who's Snow White?" Vasquez and the other marines resent Ripley's role as an elite consultant.

Vasquez is all tough, unreflective action. She just wants to know where the aliens are so that she can blow them away. Vasquez's toughness is the kind traditionally associated with the military; it is physical, action-oriented, and combative. Ripley's toughness is of a different caliber. She lacks the very apparent musculature of Vasquez, yet Ripley is equally tough. One of the important issues that Aliens addresses is what being tough actually entails. Almost every character in the film has a different way of going about it. Vasquez is all swagger. Ripley is a cooler, calmer character. Bishop, an android, raises the question of whether a machine can be tough and heroic. Rebecca Jordan (Carrie Henn), nicknamed "Newt," a little girl who has managed to survive for a number of weeks after the aliens have killed her family and all of the other colonists, presents yet another image of toughness.

Through these characters and others, the film becomes a meditation on toughness and the nature of being heroic. Vasquez's toughness is based on showy display, and is emphasized by her ability to lug around an enormous gun (so big that she needs to hold it with two hands and brace it against her hip) as the marines go in search of the aliens. Ripley, on the other hand, is shown with no gun at all. Vasquez sports a jaunty red bandanna around her head and a ripped shirt that shows off her bulging biceps. She is stereotyped as an impetuous, hot-blooded Latina and she stands out from the crowd. Although her sexual orientation is never mentioned openly, and the film hints that she might be having an affair with one of her male comrades, Vasquez is also stereotyped as a butch lesbian, more concerned with pull-ups than with intellectual pursuits.

In contrast, Ripley lacks Vasquez's muscular build, but she does present herself as a leader. Each woman reveals herself as tough in a different fashion, again showing the multiplicity of ways to be tough. Their depictions reveal an opposition that is a force throughout the film. Ultimately it is Ripley's less showy steeliness that will save the day. When Lieutenant Gorman's marines are being destroyed by the aliens, the military leader is frozen, incapable of action. Ripley takes over, rescuing the besieged marines, even though she has been ordered not to do so. Her toughness is evident when she is able to act under pressure. The marines recognize Ripley's authority, calling out for her, not Gorman, when they need to be rescued.

When the marines are forced to stay on the planet's surface because their shuttle has crashed, Ripley remains calm and focused, her demeanor contrasting with that of a sobbing male marine who is nearly hysterical, just as Lambert is in Aliens. Like Ripley, Newt is also tough, but in a different fashion. Only Ripley recognizes Newt's true toughness. After befriending her, Ripley becomes the girl's mother-figure, taking care of her, nurturing her, and rescuing her when necessary. At one point, Ripley is seen carrying the sleeping child off to bed, just as a mother would. She becomes multidimensional because she is shown as being capable of love, and she becomes mor e plausible as a character. (In a similar fashion, the Terminator becomes a fuller character when the young John Connor befriends him.)”

- Sherrie A. Inness, “Tough Women in Outer Space: The Final Frontier.” in Tough Girls: Women Warriors and Wonder Women in Popular Culture

#sherrie a. inness #alien #gender #tough girls

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bearsfakedthemoonlanding · 4 years

Text

THE THING ABOUT COMING OUT IS

[CW: gender bullshit, gender norms, heteronormativity, i use the word QUEER a lot, reclaimed slur, transphobia]

so, coming out to your conservative midwestern family, huh? me too, kid.

here’s why that’s so fucking hard.

so i’m a guy (a genderqueer guy who’s still early into his transition, but a guy nonetheless) but i’m not the “right kind” of guy.

what do i mean?

i mean that where i grew up there was a very clear definition of “boy” and “girl.” these definitions made it very stressful to be a twiggy little queer between the ages of nine and nineteen, but we made it through.

girls are short shorts and skinny jeans, fixed hair and nice make up, sassy and feisty but don’t want to pay on the first date, they may have masculine interests but they’re color-coded. pink camo. pink gun. pink baseball glove. there’s the emphasis of “you can be one of the guys, so long as you’re still a girl.” you have to want to be pretty at the end of the day, otherwise you’re just a queer. you have to make comments about how “boys are so dumb.” you have to laugh off a good amount of misogyny, or maybe not, but then you’re “extra feisty” and “hard to handle.”

boys are baggy jeans and work boots, muscle shirts and the ugliest sunglasses you’ve ever seen. they don’t file their nails. some of them hardly wash their hands. they can have softer interests-- reading, writing, pictures, gardening-- but you have to have the masculinity to back it up. you talk about how “you know how women are” and you don’t take more than ten minutes getting ready in the bathroom. if you didn’t join the service, you at least WANTED to, or at least that’s what you say. you avoid anything that might label you as queer like you’re playing dodgeball at the olympics. everything is an attack-- long hair, tight pants, chapstick, standing up for women’s rights, anything related to manicures or facials.

there’s an overarching theme of heteronormativity. men are dominant. strong. providers. protectors. women are submissive. passive. kind. soft. nurturing.

the problem with me is, even though i am a guy, i’m not “doing it right.” if i were cis, i’d be too soft, too sensitive. they’d call me a queer.

and i mean, they’re not wrong. i am. you can pry that word out of my cold, dead hands.

this would be easier if i was a traditional guy. an acceptable guy. serious, rugged, unemotional, sporty, tough.

it feels like every masculine trait i have isn’t enough to hold up against the “faults.” i emote a LOT, i’m empathetic, i was a sensitive child, i’m pretty uncoordinated, i’m reserved, i’m passive.

and listen. in the vacuum of my own existence, i feel whole. in my relationship i feel great. i’m a genderqueer man, or transmasculine, or whatever. somehow things have shaken out so that my girlfriend is butch and i’m a twink. i’m soft, and sensitive, and i’m kind. i’m bisexual. i want to be pretty, but in a “pretty boy” sort of way. i like to hug my friends. i want people to think i’m sweet. none of that makes me less of a man.

and refusing to deny those things doesn’t make me less of a man.

there’s no measure for what makes a man.

there’s no rules.

no test.

no guidelines.

but i don’t see gender the way my family does.

and i’ve realized that part of why this is so difficult is that

i’ve always been bad at being a girl

and now even when i transition

i’m going to be bad at being a guy

and in the midwest

that is way, way worse.

[let me be crystal clear here. i don’t believe any of the toxic gendered beliefs i talked about above. there is no “right” man and “right” woman. i don’t even believe gender exists. it’s all societal. it’s all made up. i’m just as much of a guy as any other guy. that includes guys who play football and belch for fun. that includes guys who work on oil rigs. that includes guys who wear skirts and make up and crop tops. that includes guys with long hair. or round chests. or big tummies, or muscly tummies. and yes, that includes any of the aforementioned guys whether they’re cis or trans.

if you say you’re a guy, that’s the end of it. i don’t participate in transmed rhetoric. i don’t fuck with terf bullshit. i don’t believe in policing anyone’s gender.

tell me who you are, and i will believe you.

that’s the end of it.

guys are guys, and just because i know my family and friends back home will struggle to accept these “softer” things about me doesn’t mean i’m ashamed of them. doesn’t mean they’re wrong. doesn’t make me any less of a man.

masculinity is just a word. gender is just a concept. if you tell people what to do with their identity, then you’re not being kind.]

#trans guy #trans man #lgbt #ftm #queer #nonbinary #genderqueer #coming out #midwest

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dorminchu · 3 years

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WIPs [James Bond, Pokémon Lost Silver]

Wahey! Here are two mostly brand new scenes below the cut, just to prove I'm not dead! Note: Please view the post on the main page for correct formatting.

INSULT TO INJURY CHAPTER I: A THOUSAND DETAILS [REVISED]

Graduation from Oxford was a quick, unemotional affair. Madeleine had no extended family to invite—no one else of import, besides her short-term friends. The matter of her attendance was something to be addressed and then forgotten about. It was a little tragic. She tried not to let this show on her face when she had to make her commencement speech.

The ceremony went along as expected. Things were not as interesting when she could pretend her life was just as safe and boring as anyone else’s. As she was wrapping up an individual figure in the stands, no more remarkable than any other, caught her attention. It was an older man, perhaps in his early fifties, hidden partially behind sunglasses and a smart dress-hat. With a nauseating thrill she recognized his hat as well as his smile, the angles in his face a little more pronounced. To Madeleine it was like he was sneering. She did not let this discovery rattle her. If she hesitated it was on account of the crowd and her nerves and nothing else.

But when she was done, succeeded at the podium, she could only think: How long has he been standing there? Why didn’t I notice? They did not speak to one another, as it would surely draw unwanted attention. Not that it mattered. His presence was enough of an affront; why give him further opportunity to wound her pride by acknowledging him outright?

“I’m sorry,” she’d said to her roommate, “I’m really not feeling well. Just take me home.”

Even then, when she was perfectly alone, the memory of him took up residence where physical space would not permit. She tried to dredge up some residual emotions for the man who less so resembled a father and more an anonymous pen pal in recent years. Perhaps it was best for his pride if she continued to avoid him, rather than put him in a situation that would force him to admit his own daughter's indifference.

Her cotenants would be out for a while, glad to be around other normal people who didn’t skirt around crowded rooms, casing the doors and windows. Most of them, by now, thought Madeleine to be frigid, or else exceedingly studious. They’d given up a long time ago trying to invite her along on group dates—it was a losing proposition. She did not drink anything. She didn’t talk unless someone initiated and then she was perfectly reasonable. She would quietly, scrupulously vet what was offered. The other women were under the delusion that she was trying to compete with them, and the men were usually uncomfortable being scrutinised without a lick of pretence. Madeleine found it a little funny, but she was the only one.

So she didn’t mind being left behind. Most of the time. She looked around the room. It had served its purpose during her enrolment. Now it seemed intolerably small, like a holding cell. She had never thought about it this way before. Suddenly she wanted to be anywhere else.

At times such as these, she almost wished she hadn’t decided to go straight-edge—then, maybe, they would keep some alcohol in the flat. She had no friends she could call on without inviting scrutiny. The only other comparable colleague was Arnaud, a fellow Sociology major in her year. She found him tolerable enough to engage in polite conversation, though she did not want to give him or anyone else the wrong idea.

Or, hell, why not? She could use a drink.

⁂

Three years to that day, they were still talking. Well, her colleagues at Oxford would have likely referred to them as friends-with-benefits with a healthy measure of condescension—but this was misleading. It would imply some level of emotional investment. For Madeleine, he was a means of insurance. Whenever he turned up dead or missing, she’d know it was time to move on. Now, Madeleine was not completely heartless. She had taken Arnaud’s advice and transferred over to the 8th arrondissement, with the understanding that they would be rooming together. And Arnaud was easy to get along with and she could afford him the same courtesy. She had someone to come home to and he knew enough about her work ethic from their college years, and her demeanour, to not ask where she had been. She knew enough surface-level information about him that she could still keep up appearances with his friends, as well as her own colleagues at the office—to be discarded, once he outlived his purpose. The clinic was within walking distance from the flat. Open to the general public, rather than more exclusive clientele, but that suited her fine. Each day bled into the next and the seasons changed in rote, predictable manner. She’d go to bed and wake up thinking: Maybe today will be it. They’ll come to collect me. But it had been three years. The lack of apparent danger soon directed her thoughts towards various methods of escape. Usually, Madeleine found solace in identifying the root of other peoples' troubles; a faulty marriage brought on by substance abuse, or more permanent debts that could not be repaid so easily. Most were less extreme and involved simple conversations that were, in Madeleine’s view, no more impactful than the change in weather. She kept no photographs. She had a work computer that stayed in the office. She stuck to using burner phones. She did not discuss her life before Oxford or the Sorbonne with anyone. The only décor was a pot of faux flowers from an elder client; for her falsified birthday, of course. There was even a little hand-written note. The longer the pot stayed on her desk, the more disingenuous Madeleine felt. She'd investigated it a few times when she was alone, looking for wires, but never could prove her suspicions. She got rid of it anyway, just to be safe. The client never brought this up again but Madeleine could souse the hurt in her eyes the next time they met.

LOST SILVER: HIDDEN

Part of the wall had a give to it like rotting flesh. It caught on his fingers, porous and thin. Momentarily freed from the push of the unown Gold threw his body into the weak spot.

It didn’t stick to his skin but tore as like wet paper. Clean break.

Falling forwards into an empty void. Crashing on all-fours. The unown were gone. Ground had no texture but simply existed beneath him, impossibly smooth and cold. There was no light from the tunnel behind him. All the sound fell away from his ears. He felt himself screaming just to hear something but could only feel the physical strain in his lungs and throat. Unown frequency reached him through tinny speakers—overridden by static. He put his hands to his ears. It did not stop. He could feel the blood pounding in his head. Suddenly the tiny screen lit up. His hands caught on plastic. He clutched it desperately, staring into the harsh, inexplicable light of the LCD screen. A voice broke through static:

“Where do you think you are?”

Gold froze. He—

—falling forward again. Jerked out of time and space as though by an ally’s Teleport—familiar loss of footing followed by an abrupt solidity beneath his knees. Shock giving way to nausea. The last time he’d teleported anywhere was at the behest of the old guy who wouldn’t take no for an answer, and his abra, back at Indigo Plateau. He doubled over. His chest felt tight. He began dry-heaving, desperate for air—the serrated, raw feeling in his throat and chest told him he’d been screaming.

Dry, dusty earth beneath his fingers was baked over. The fresh air he drew into his lungs tasted warm. It was dusk. A thin layer of perspiration on his face and his palms. His stomach settled gradually into queasiness. He didn’t remember teleporting or what he had been doing before his arrival. He couldn’t recall why he was here, either.

“Hey, kid. Finally awake?”

Gold blinked. He straightened himself out and tried not to look as shaken up as he felt. The man in a lab coat and glasses looked down at him impatiently.

“We’ve been waiting for the last hour.”

Gold had no idea how to respond. His legs were shaky. He held up a hand to wave off any attempts at sympathy. “Teleport,” he got out hoarsely.

The man scoffed. “I don’t need an apology. I’ve got all the notes on my desk about what to expect down there. Nothing a tough guy like you can’t handle. We’ll be inside whenever you’re ready.”

The aide was nicer. “Gold, right? Prof. Oak’s told me about you.” She looked around his age, maybe a couple years younger. Her hair was dyed an intense shade of blue and pulled into twin ponytails. She was dressed for the season—just a pair of bright yellow athletic shorts and sleeveless red shirt, white jacket. Her body was toned—Gold had the fleeting thought that she could have been his twin, but her accent struck him as native to Kanto. She had her own POKéGEAR, too; clipped neatly on her bag, rather than on her wrist.

“Oh, uh—has he?”

“Only good stuff, don’t worry.” She extended a hand. “You can call me Kris. That other guy is Mr. Ito.”

They shook. Her gloveless hand was warm and soft, which surprised him. Gold noticed her belt—two standard pokéballs, a moon ball and a lure ball respectively. “You’re a trainer, too?”

“I’m more of a researcher. Lately I’ve been working on the Unown Mode feature of the POKéDEX. We’ll have to set yours up first, before you go down there.” She reached out towards the ‘DEX at his hip, suddenly very businesslike. Gold hesitated. She smirked. “What? I’m not gonna screw it up, I’ve done this enough times by now.”

“I never said—”

Kris inclined her head without waiting for an excuse. With a sigh, Gold handed over the POKéDEX. Kris walked over to the nearby desk. She clicked on a lamp and studied the screen for a few seconds. She whistled. “Wow! They weren’t kidding. Two-hundred and fifty on—” Mr. Ito clicked his tongue and she scowled “—yeah, okay.” She toggled through the settings with an air of aggression that suggested this was not the first time she’d been reprimanded. Gold’s amusement was undercut by the hope she didn’t break any of the buttons. Then again, he knew from firsthand experience that it could take a lot of punishment. “You’re pretty handy with that.”

#wip #lost silver #james bond #trainer gold #trainer kris #madeleine swann #mr white #for like a second #original characters #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #slight tone dissonance

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star-birthmark · 4 years

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H-hello! I really enjoy your writing ^_^ I was wondering if I could get something with Prosciutto? I haven't been feeling well and just been pretty down lately. Something like Prosciutto taking care of his sick partner ;w ; ignorethisifitstoomuchthankyoubye!

*gets a notification* Oh nice what’s this?….. *sees one of my favorite blogs has requested something from me* ……*says they enjoy my writing*….. *puts all other requests neatly aside and then screams*

Alright well besides the point, writing this truly warmed by heart. I’m not feeling that hot either so this helped me feel better. Anyway, enjoy some extremely adorable domestic Prosciutto!

Without further ado: Nurse Duty: Prosciutto x Reader (1.7k words)

It had been -and one cannot stress this enough- a very long time since Prosciutto rolled up his sleeves and actually did something on his own. Well, other than killing someone. The man lived with a sense of heightened standards. He felt like if he didn’t know how to do something, why would he attempt it when he could just pay someone else to do it? Not only that, but the man was a famed workaholic. If he did know how to do something, why would he waste his time having someone else do it incorrectly for him? Everyone on the team knew that was the case, which is why when Risotto Nero called his teammate’s house phone that fine Monday morning to ask why he wasn’t at work, the capo was shocked by his senior assassin’s answer.

“So you’re not coming to the hideout today?”

“Afraid not. Is there anything you need of me? I checked and I don’t have any missions.”

Risotto remained shocked. “I don’t know I mean, there’s some paperwork- wait you’re really not coming to work today?”

Prosciutto rolled his eyes. “No Ris I’m not- wait shit did I put too much broth in there?”

Risotto raised an eyebrow as he heard various clicks and clangs over the phone.

“What are you even doing over there? It’s not like you to just skip a day.”

“Look I mean if nothing’s, urgent, would you mind if I took the day off? You gave Ghiaccio a whole week to go see the Olympic figure skating qualifier- Okay, so that’s 4 cloves of garlic…”

“Well, I mean that might be but you never miss work- again, what are you even doing?”

The constant knocking of a knife against a wooden cutting board filled the capo’s ears, followed by a loud sizzle of a pan against flame, and then more clanging. Risotto chuckled, leaning back in his office chair.

“Since when do you cook?” Proscuitto gulped, not wanting his image to be tarnished.

“I don’t, not usually anyway, it’s just that (y/n) hasn’t been feeling well since last night, so I’ve been on nurse duty. I asked her if she wanted anything specific, and she said she wanted me to remake the Italian wedding soup I made for our one year anniversary.”

Risotto couldn’t help but chuckle teasingly at his friend, not expecting such a hardened criminal to be cooking up a storm like some Sicilian grandma.

“Well well, I could never have expected the great world-renowned assassin Prosciutto to have such a sensitive side, or for him to be such an attentive husband.”

Prosciutto groaned in annoyance into the phone. “Thanks, you really know how to make a guy feel appreciated sir.”

Risotto smiled. “I do remember you served it at a party for Melone’s birthday, it was very good.”

“Well can you leave me alone to make it? I’ll come into work tomorrow, I got a mission with Pesci anyway.”

With that, Risotto hung up, leaving Prosciutto to keep working. Of course, though, he didn’t get too far until he heard the familiar raspy voice calling to him from down the hall. Soon leaving the food to cook, Prosciutto entered your shared room together and sat at the edge of the bed while you laid in it on your back. You were dressed in your comfiest pajamas, consisting of small shorts and one of your husband’s undershirt. Prosciutto couldn’t help but feel his breath hitch in his throat seeing you.

“What do you need dear?” He asked.

“My whole body feels warm, could you get me the thermometer?”

Your doting husband gets it and places it under your tongue, glancing at the beeping result.

“103 still.” You sighed heavily at his answer.

“Well, no wonder I still don’t feel well.” Proscuitto patted you lovingly on the head.

“What did I tell you? I warned you.” You looked up at him, annoyed at his words.

“I know what you told me.”

“Nah ah.. Say it with me…”

“Fine… If you go out for date night in a short strapless dress with only a light jacket in the middle of winter, you’re going to get sick.”

Prosciutto laughed, watching you cutely pout in such a perfect fashion as the two of you spoke his wide words at the same time. You sighed, you only dressed that way so everyone else in public would back off from your handsome spouse, it certainly backfired though. Proscuitto looked at you with a grin on his face.

“You did look really sexy though.”

After firmly smacking him on the arm for his crude words, you couldn’t help but yawn and rub your tired eyes. Your headache wasn’t exactly helping you sleep, despite how exhausted you were. Sitting up in bed with a stretch, you watched as a smile came to your husband’s lips as he thought about how cute you were. Prosciutto chuckled as you rolled your eyes at him. You reach over and take a sip of the tea he had made for you. Peppermint, your favorite. Your body was then overcome with a sneeze, your husband ready with a tissue box and a “bless you” for you. You nodded in appreciation.

“Who was on the phone?”

“Risotto. He was wondering why I wasn’t at work. I told him I was taking care of you.”

“Do you need to be there?” You were scared he’d leave.

“No. I’ve got nothing today. He did make fun of me for cooking for you since I never really do that.”

You smiled at the thought of being the only person on Earth to take such a stick in the mud out of his comfort zone. Damn, if you weren’t feeling so terrible, you’d probably kiss him in gratitude, but he made you swear that you wouldn’t spread your germs. A rush of coughs comes up to your throat and you look away from him out of courtesy, sighing a bit as your husband ran his hand up and down your back. You groan from the pain in your chest and laid back down in bed, shyly bringing the blanket up to your chin for warmth. Prosciutto got up from the bed and went into his wardrobe, changing from his soup stained t-shirt into one of his comfy crewnecks. Your eyes gaze upon you handsome love, so willing to take care of you even if it compromises his tough-guy image a bit. Still, you couldn’t help but tease him just a tad.

“And to think, today was gonna be the day I’d finally go on a solo mission with Illuso!”

Prosciutto rolled his eyes as he slipped the sweater for his head. “I’m not playing this game with you (y/n).”

You chuckle at his tone. “Ugh his hair is so amazing and he’s got the greatest personality on the team, and don’t even get me started on his muscles my go-ah!”

You cackle in delight as Prosciutto pounced over you on the bed in order to shut you up with a small but sweet kiss to your lips. Your cheeks flush bright red as he smirks at you.

“Can Illuso do that huh? Kiss you? Not without me killing him anyway.”

“Be jealous all you want Prosci, but you gave in and kissed me so now you got all my germs ha!”

The timer on the oven beeped loudly throughout the whole house. Prosciutto rolled his eyes as you squealed with excitement at the coming soup, his large coming atop your head to playfully ruffle your hair. Soon, he came back with a bowl of the soup, and you eagerly take a spoonful, only to yelp.

“Prosci! It’s too hot!”

“Of course it’s hot! It’s right off the stove!”

“Hmph… it’s really good though.”

Prosciutto grinned wit pride. “You’re damn right it is.”

The two of you have the soup together in silence for a while. Every once in a while, when he would see your tired hand shaking while holding up the spoon, he would grab the bowl and spoon from you and feed you the soup himself, all with a gentle smile on his face. He’d go back and forth between the kitchen and the bedroom to get you more, he’d rush to the living room to grab you more pillow to support your aching back, he’d rush to the medicine cabinet to get to something for your headache. And in the back of your mind the whole time, you couldn’t help but feel extremely pampered. There, right in front of you, was your husband sitting with you in bed, looking out the window towards the city. Someone who cared so much about being stern, professional, and unemotional, was caring so tenderly for you. You stared down at your soup, your lip beginning to tremble. Prosciutto looked over at the sound of small droplets hitting the soup, his eyes widening with worry as he saw tears running down your cheeks. Quickly setting both of your bowls down, he rushed to wrap you in his arms.

“What’s wrong (y/n)? Are you feeling worse?”

You shake your head. “No… I’m just so glad to have you in my life Prosciutto. We always have to be so careful of who we surround ourselves with. We don’t know who’s going to hurt us or help us. I’m just so happy to have a wall in my life to always lean on… you.”

Prosciutto sighed and kissed the top of your head as you nestled into his chest, his face bright red. God how were so damn adorable, even when you didn’t mean to be? Gently letting go of you, Prosciutto leaned down to lay next to you in bed. You put your head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. Prosciutto reached around to stroke your hair.

“You just get better (y/n). That’s what we told each other at the altar isn’t it? In sickness and in health?”

You rolled your eyes. “Pff… cheesy.” Prosciutto smiled. “I know.”

It wasn’t long until the two of you drifted asleep, dreaming of a long life together as the sky darkened over the city. Prosciutto held you close in his arms, with thoughts of going back to work being the very last thing on his mind. All he could think about was you.

#jjba hc #jjba #jjba writing #prosciutto #golden wind #la squadra #fem reader #jojo writing #part 5 #vento aureo

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

Text

Pick A Card #2

I’m back with another pick a card reading! This time it’s a love reading for all my fellow single people!

There are four piles, each with a different potion to help you choose but you can pick based on whatever you want (and of course you’re welcome to check out multiple piles) Pile 1 - Felix Felicis // Pile 2 - Amortentia // Pile 3 - Veritaserum // Pile 4 - Polyjuice Potion.

Pick your pile and then click under the cut to find the corresponding reading

For this reading I used Greek Lovers playing cards, Cat Tarot, Gravity Falls Major Arcana, Romance Angels Oracle, Botanacle Oracle and my homemade Queen Oracle. Links to all my decks can be found Here (or in my bio).

As always, these are general readings for the collective so take what resonates and don’t worry if something doesn’t make sense.

Pile 1: Felix Felicis

Tarot cards: Three of Pentacles, Three of Cups, Eight of Wands, Two of Swords, Page of Cups, Six of Pentacles, Temperance

Oracle Cards: Very Soon,Patience (Trout Lily), Who Needs You

There’s a good chance you’ve been waiting a while to meet someone. You’ve got the Patience oracle card and the Temperance card also relates to being patient. Maybe you’ve never dated before or maybe it’s been a while since your last relationship. Or maybe you’re just waiting for a good match to come along.

The good news is, I’m seeing a potential romance coming towards you quite soon, group 1. A lot of these cards relate to love and support, intimacy, happiness, affection. The 8 of wands is sometimes referred to as ‘arrows of love’ and is about events moving quickly plus there’s the Very Soon oracle card. Someone is around the corner. They’ll be affectionate and charming. But there’s a warning here too.

At first Who Needs You seems at odds with the other cards - it’s a breakup song more than a love song. But I think what the cards are trying to tell you is not to get completely caught up in this other person. The page of cups is a card of inspiration, love, lust and passion. But the pages are the most immature or even naive of the court cards. There’s a potential here for obsession and damaging habits/desires. Temperance is about patience but it’s also about moderation and self-control. Don’t lose yourself in this person or relationship. Don’t sacrifice your own personhood or individuality just to conform to the belief that everyone needs to be in a relationship to be happy.

~~~~~

Pile 2: Amortentia

Tarot Cards: Eight of Pentacles, Four of Wands, Queen of Wands, Ace of Wands, Knight of Swords, Two of Pentacles, Strength

Oracle Cards: Separation, Courage (Borage), Pain Is So Close To Pleasure

Just because we’re in quarantine doesn’t mean we can’t find new love. And there are definitely signs of attraction/love here. There are Three wands cards. Wands is the suit associated with fire and passion and the 4 of wands specifically says love is in the air.

But as the song says, sunshine and rainy weather go hand in hand together. Yes there is passion but there’s also separation. I think there’s a good chance you already know this person, perhaps they were on your mind when you picked this pile. You’ve probably been in communication, primarily through the written word. After all, just because we’re in quarantine, doesn’t mean we can’t find new love and I think there’s the potential for love but it’s going to take some courage and inner strength to find the right path. Distance won’t make it easy and progress may be slow but don’t give up on it just because it’s hard.

We’ve got two signifiers - the queen of wands (charming, magnetic, funny, loving) and the Knight of Swords (dashing, skilful, maybe a little impulsive).

~~~~~

Pile 3 Veritaserum

Tarot Cards: Eight of Cups, Queen of Swords, Seven of Cups, Temperance, Justice, Two of Cups,The Moon

Oracle Cards: Romantic Feelings, Soothe (Chamomile), Jealousy

Look at all those Cup cards! Cups is the suit of feelings/love so having three of them is a good start.

I think you’ve got someone in mind, a crush, maybe you were thinking of them when you picked this pile. You’ve been thinking about them a lot, fantasising about what it’d be like to date them. But you’re worried about telling them. What if they don’t feel the same? What if they reject you? It’s a risk. It’s a step into the unknown and that can be fucking terrifying.

But these cards are saying give it a shot. 8 of cups is about letting something go, justice is about limiting your emotions to make tough decisions, and the Queen of swords is a bit of a bitch - she’s got a tough exterior (though she’s more fragile on the inside) and she has no time for messing around. She does what has to be done regardless of emotions. Even the soothe oracle card is about how a thoughtful, unemotional mind, will help you move forward.

These cards want you to quit fucking around. Have the courage to move your fantasies into reality. Because there’s no chance of having the partnership and potential soul mate from the 2 of cups if you don’t take a step forward.

~~~~~

Pile 4: Polyjuice Potion

Tarot Cards: Ten of Pentacles, Seven of Swords, King of Cups, The Hanged Man, The Lovers, Four of Wands, Wheel of Fortune,

Oracle Cards: Trust, Enhance (Indigo), Delilah

Okay, first of all The Lovers, the 4 of wands, 10 of pentacles, wheel of fortune - good signs. I think there is someone close to you that you’ve not considered before. The Enhance oracle card is all about shifting your perspective. Maybe this person isn’t your usual type, maybe they don’t seem as exciting as others do. But that doesn’t mean you couldn’t be happy with them. Maybe the reason you haven’t found love yet is that you’re overlooking it.

The King of Cups is our only signifier here. This person could be a little older than you. They’re responsible and professional but they’re also kind and artistic/poetic and when they decide someone is worth it they will love them unconditionally and invest everything in them. These cards are a warning you may miss out on that if you don’t let go of your preconceived ideas of what you need. There is love and partnership and prosperity waiting, you just need to trust and consider things in a different light.

#Brigid's pick a card readings #these are fun #and i really wanted to try out my new oracle deck #so have another lmao #i'd love to hear if any of these resonate with you!!

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sparklyjojos · 4 years

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THE SAIMON FAMILY CASE recaps [5/13]

In which magic routines are explained and Kirigirisu tries his hand at solving the mysteries of the show.

The next morning, Ajiro and Kirigirisu have some time to kill before the show, so they take a walk through the famous Joue-ji Garden. Apparently Ajiro is interested in traditional gardens, which similarly to his interest in magic was jump-started when he visited the splendid grounds by the Saimon family’s residence. It’s interesting to see Ajiro’s another side—not just a hard-working boss, but a man appreciating beauty.

Looking at the temple’s five-storied pagoda, Kirigirisu thinks of one of his fellow detectives, whose real name is Gojuunotou Fudou (五重塔不動, gojuunotou meaning a five-storied pagoda). No wonder the man prefers a slightly less weirder pseudonym Gotou Fudou.

Now that he thinks about it, there’s quite a lot of strangely named detectives in the Club, many using nicknames. [These detectives don’t matter that much in the overall plot, but the author’s note at the end of the book mentions they were in part inspired by all these cool ideas for detectives the fans keep sending him. Wholesome].

There’s Raiouji Rokenrou (雷王寺路拳郎), his real name being Terada Ichijirou (寺田一次郎), that delinquent punkish detective we already met.

There’s Mikuruma Noritaka (御車法隆), real name Gosha Noritaka (五車法隆), whose reasoning method revolves around him convincing himself through self-hypnosis that he’s a genius and can solve anything, and who loves to think about cases while riding his bike at breakneck speed. (Apparently he and Raiouji love to go on rides together.)

There’s Yakushiji Saiten (薬師寺祭天), actually Yakushiji Kinta (薬師寺金太), who’s the kind of guy to spend half a day admiring himself in the mirror.

Together, these four—Gotou, Raiouji, Mikuruma and Yakushiji—make a fine team sometimes called the Young Four Heavenly Kings, or Young Shitennou (ヤング四天王).

And that’s just a few of the Club’s detectives. It’s… kind of weird how many strangely-named members the organization has. (Although some have more normal names, like Arito Tarou, a guy who doesn’t like our two main detectives all that much.)

Kirigirisu’s name is also extremely unusual, but to be fair, he doesn’t even know if it’s his real name. It may have well been a nickname. He wonders if having a weird name isn’t more likely to make someone a detective, considering that it may lead to bad experiences in childhood, or something. Maybe taking on nicknames reveals a desire to become someone you’re not?

Anyway… returning his thoughts to the upcoming show, Kirigirisu remembers yesterday evening’s conversation with Ajiro.

“Most tricks fall into one of three categories,” Ajiro said back then. “Production, vanish, transformation. You can demonstrate all three with a commonplace object like a cigarette.”

He let Kirigirisu take one more look at the trick with snapping the cigarette in half, but from another angle, revealing that no actual snapping occured, the cigarette was just cleverly half hidden in Ajiro’s hand. The trick was aided by acting out a forceful movement and making a tough face while “snapping”. The next part of the trick was playing catch ball with what seemed like a torn half, but was actually the intact cigarette. The illusion worked because Kirigirisu was already convinced that the snapping had occurred, and Ajiro’s hands moved too quickly for him to realize the truth.

While Kirigirisu understood the need for the rule about never showing the same trick twice to someone, he didn’t feel at all like learning the truth ruined the magic for him. On the contrary, he felt even more emotionally moved and fired up. He would compare that feeling to the catharsis caused by solving a tough case, that emotion of finally attaching a logical explanation to something that seemed unsolvable.

Seeing his enthusiasm made Ajiro even more eager to serve as a lecturer, so he quickly explained another trick. It looked like he was pushing the cigarette into his left fist using his right hand… but in actuality he just pretended to do it while hiding the object in his right hand, where Kirigirisu couldn’t see. Then it was simply a matter of keeping the Kirigirisu's eyes on the fist—in other words, making use of misdirection—which let Ajiro withdraw his right hand with the hidden cigarette and drop it onto his lap (an action magicians know simply as “lapping”).

Next, Ajiro showed the part of the routine where he seemed to be pointing to something invisible in the air and catching it. These movements were meant to misdirect attention; while Kirigirisu was looking at Ajiro's pointing and catching left hand, his right hand could do whatever it wanted without being seen—perform a so-called “secret move”. In this case, the secret move was picking up the cigarette from his lap and hiding it in his palm.

When Ajiro earlier demanded that Kirigirisu followed his movements, this too served as misdirection pulling attention away from the act of lapping.

That's all fine and well, but how could a lit cigarette have been hidden in his hand at the very beginning? Ajiro explained that while magicians usually use a "pull"—a metal tube slightly bigger than the cigarette in which it can be safely hidden—he used a simpler method called "the throwing vanish". He acted like he's throwing the cigarette towards his left hand, but it actually stayed in his right.

But how could he lap it without it giving off visible smoke? He didn't; instead he put it between his crossed legs under the low table, so smoke couldn't rise freely. This trick could only really work in a place like the inn where customers sat on the ground.

Okay, but if the cigarette never entered his left hand, why was there smoke rising from within it? Well, Ajiro simply moved the hidden-in-right-hand cigarette below his left fist, let the smoke rise up, and only then retreated his right hand, once the viewer's attention was firmly on the fist. He did something similar later when Kirigirisu was holding his hand closed. He retrieved the cigarette from its hiding place, then—moving his right hand fast enough that smoke would dissipate in the air fast and wouldn’t be seen—moved it under his fist, letting smoke rise.

That was the end of explanations, so Kirigirisu asked about Gensui's tricks from earlier. Did Ajiro understand the secrets behind them too?

"I do. The truth is, he showed me the same routine when we met for the first time. But it's still his secret, and besides, I wouldn't be able to explain and show it as well as he would. After we talk about the case tomorrow, maybe you'll have a chance to learn about it from him." That maybe doesn't sound optimistic, and seeing Kirigirisu's saddened face, Ajiro adds, "Gensui didn't actually tell me the method, you know. I studied some magic and figured it out by myself later. Maybe after the lecture I just gave you, you can try to uncover the secret yourself?"

Kirigirisu's detective brain attempts to figure it out.

There were eight or so individual illusions to Gensui's routine. Putting his card into Kirigirisu's hand out of nowhere. Having Kirigirisu's name already printed out despite not knowing him. Changing Kirigirisu's card into his own. Pulling Kirigirisu's card out of an empty pocket. Making an orange silk handkerchief appear. Turning it into a ball. Turning the ball into a mandarin orange. Somehow making half his card appear inside that orange.

How Gensui slipped him the card is unknown. He could have learned Kirigirisu's name beforehand from Ajiro, but Ajiro denied that he had told him. Besides, it's improbable that he would have the card printed so fast, unless he was ready to pay good money (it’s 1977 and word processors are only now beginning to crop up). Where Kirigirisu's card disappeared to was unknown, as Gensui couldn't exactly lap it, and a secret move was out of a question when Kirigirisu could see both his hands. Was it then hidden in some secret compartment inside his pocket? Or maybe the card he pulled out of there wasn't even the same one, but a copy he had received beforehand from Ajiro (who denied this as well). The silk handkerchief probably had been hidden somewhere, the problem was where. The transformations into a ball and an orange were mistifying, and finding the torn half of the card inside the orange truly seemed like pure magic.

Ajiro's demonstration should have given him a hint, but he still had no idea how to explain the routine. He kept thinking about it so hard he couldn't sleep well that night.

Before the show, the two detectives go to the employee area once more. While most the performers are hanging out talking in a group, there's no Gensui or his brother anywhere. Perhaps they prefer to stay out of sight to make sure no one spots both of them at once.

When they meet Gensui in his trailer house, he's wearing a tailcoat that matches his imposing figure much better than the staff jacket from yesterday. He makes that unemotional face again when others can see him, but as soon as the door closes behind them he's back to a gentle smile. (Both expressions look perfectly natural. Well, as a magician he's probably been learning acting since childhood.)

Ajiro tells him about his and Kirigirisu's conversation. Gensui listens closely, smiling the entire time, though at the same time he’s carefully regarding Kirigirisu with his eyes.

"I'm always happy to witness the birth of a new magician friend," he says finally. "If Souji approves of you, then I shall give you my trust as well. If it's not a problem, I could give you a lecture on yesterday's routine after the afternoon show…" Gensui's comforting smile almost seems like that of a Buddha statue surrounded by a halo of light.

Kirigirisu can't believe his own luck and immediately decides in his heart that he’s going to work his hardest on the case, as he can't possibly let this wonderful man come to harm.

"Actually, I had a great idea right now," Gensui adds. "I'd like you to take part in the show. Is that alright?"

“You’d like to… me…!”

“That’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Kirigirisu,” Ajiro prodes him on.

“But… what would someone like me even do?”

“Please do not worry. It’s something even a child could do.” He explains some more and indeed, it’s something easy: Kirigirisu will be chosen from the audience to assist the performers and just has to follow the script.

“I promise you I will do my best, Mr. Soga!”

“I’m glad to hear it. Please call me Gensui… or Tensui, when people are watching.”

It’s amazing to think that if Kirigirisu made a different impression on Gensui, he’d never get to see this gentle, smiling side of him, just the emotionless imposing act. He has half the mind to shout “please call me Tarou!”, but it can’t get through his throat. (Tarou is a really common name. There’s that detective in the organization called Arito Tarou who always calls Kirigirisu “the fake Tarou”, and he doesn’t like to remember that.)

Later that morning, the two detectives finally enter the circus tent with other spectators.

Ajiro has a nostalgic look on his face; while a busy man, he always makes sure to see the family's show whenever it comes to Fukui prefecture near Kyoto. The last time he saw it was just that summer, in fact.

Kirigirisu looks around astounded, having never seen something like this before and already anticipating something marvelous. If a single cigarette was enough for such a wonderful show yesterday, how grand an illusion using that giant bell is going to be? It feels like entering a dream or another world altogether, or even like stepping outside his own body. (Which is maybe a good thing; Kirigirisu isn’t fully sure what his reasoning method is yet, but it seems to have something to do with thinking better when he relaxes and gets this sort of detached feeling.)

And so, the two detectives watch the wonderful magic show. [The narration tells us that it was the very same show that was described earlier in details.]

It is unlike anything Kirigirisu has seen before, and his emotions are best described as similar to falling in love and going on a honeymoon. He is firmly set on doing his best to make Gensui happy, but still dreads the moment he will have to come on stage and anxiety almost gets the most of him (what if Gensui wanted him to catch that rose that didn’t land anywhere near him, what if he wanted him to recognize all these flags, oh God).

His turn comes when little Koyomi announces she’s going to pick one of the spectators by listing “random” personal attributes: someone who hasn’t brought any family along, who is a man in his forties, who does not wear glasses, who thinks his name is unusual, and who came to Yamaguchi from a prefecture far away.

Koyomi seems genuinely surprised when he says he came here all the way from Kyoto, making him wonder whether Gensui didn’t tell her the details, or whether she’s just a really good actor. He follows the previously agreed script (the drawing is just a normal circle, no, it’s the flag of Japan; now it’s a clock or a scale; let’s say it’s a clock). Asked for current time, he gives a half-scripted answer, pretending that his watch is a little early and telling Koyomi the current time plus five minutes (Gensui himself made sure his watch worked correctly beforehand).

Thankfully, everything goes well… though as soon as he sits down, Koyomi asks him to pick the next person, which was not a part of the plan, and he panics a little. It’s a strange feeling when a girl over thirty years your junior has to give you an encouraging look. It’s even stranger when a thousand and five hundred people are, if just for a moment, hanging onto your every word.

As soon as the guests leave the tent, another surprise awaits them. Where there should be just empty space, now stretches a vast flower field, their petals wet with rain. Ajiro explains that it’s trompe-l'œil, a painting technique that uses forced perspective to create the illusion of depth. Indeed, up close the flower field is clearly just a picture, a strangely deformed one at that. Just like many other illusions, this one works only as long as the spectators can’t take a closer look.

They meet with Gensui, who has apparently just changed from the black diving suit into the usual tailcoat. His hair is still a little wet. He thanks Kirigirisu for cooperation and is in turn thanked for such an amazing show.

“Well then, it’s time to keep my own promise,” Gensui says. “Let’s start the lecture on yesterday’s routine. First, how I was able to learn your name. It’s very simple—perhaps disappointingly so, for which you’ll have to forgive me. After Souji told me he would take a coworker along, I simply called the organization’s secretary and asked for your name.”

“I see… but you must have learned about it not even a day before we met. How did you manage to get a card printed out so fast?”

“The secret here is likewise very simple. All the cards weren’t printed at all, but handwritten by a talented member of my staff. All those giant signs you see around were made by them as well. As long as you have access to the right ink, it’s possible to make your handwriting look like print.”

“You said all the cards just now…” Kirigirisu is slowly starting to understand. Multiple cards. One had to say Tensui, another Gensui...

Gensui nods, then shows them how he prepared the orange. He takes a pre-torn half of a card that has I’m Soga Gensui written on it, rolls it up, then carefully inserts it inside the fruit by removing and replacing the stem. This is apparently a variation of a widely known illusion, Bill in Lemon.

Next, Gensui repeats the first part of yesterday’s routine: he takes the intact card with I’m Soga Tensui on it, which seems to magically disappear in his hand, only to return when he gives Kirigirisu a handshake. Confused Kirigirisu passes the card to Ajiro, who also makes it disappear in his hand… but once Kirigirisu can take a look from another angle, he realizes that the card was just moved to the back of his hand.

“The act of hiding an object in your hand is what we call “palming”,” Ajiro explains. “This particular variation is known as the back palm.” He gives Kirigirisu a handshake and swiftly moves the card to its previous position, so it stays in Kirigirisu’s palm once he withdraws.

But what if the other person attempted to look at the back of his outstretched hand? This is also not a problem, as Ajiro demonstrates: one just has to move the card into another hidden position inside one’s palm. His moves are ridiculously fast. Even Gensui seems impressed.

Next question: how did Gensui change Kirigirisu’s card into his own just by moving his right hand over it? The truth is, that right hand had the Tensui card hidden in it using what’s called a “classic palm”. First, he inserted that hidden Tensui card underneath Kirigirisu’s card. Then he palmed Kirigirisu’s card and took it away, revealing the Tensui card underneath. This may be complicated, but Gensui’s skills made it seem like a single fluid move. With Kirigirisu’s card still palmed in his right hand, he then pretended to pull it out from the empty pocket.

The secrets really are so simple once you learn them, though they do require mastering the palming techniques. As Gensui points out, it’s not an easy feat to make your hand look naturally positioned while you’re secretly holding something with it. (Kirigirisu does wonder when busy Ajiro would have time to train something like that.)

Next question: okay, we know that the torn half of the Gensui card was hidden in the orange beforehand… but then why would its edge perfectly fit the Nice to meet you part from the Tensui card, the one that was torn in half with Kirigirisu watching? This also is very simple: because what Kirigirisu was handed was not one half of the Tensui card, but of the Gensui card.

The magician sneaked the remaining Nice to meet you fragment of Gensui into his hands together with the intact Tensui. Then he torn Tensui in half. The Nice to meet you fragment of Tensui was promptly palmed, and Kirigirisu took that sneaky little Nice to meet you fragment of Gensui instead.

This wasn’t the only thing the magician had kept palmed at the time, either: he was already holding the orange silk handkerchief in his right hand. After he lit the torn Tensui part on fire and let it burn to ashes, he simply let the silk fall out of its hiding place.

In order to magically transform the silk into the ball, Gensui then performed what’s known as a “switch”. He pretended to insert the handkerchief into his left fist, but what he actually put inside was a small orange ball, which had been previously palmed in his right hand along with the silk.

Transforming the ball into an orange was based on a similar switch. When the ball was thrown high in the air, Kirigirisu’s eyes naturally followed it, allowing Gensui to casually pull out the prepared orange out of his pocket. While holding it, Gensui caught the falling ball, palmed it, and presented just the orange to Kirigirisu.

With this, the entire routine is now explained.

Kirigirisu (whose eyes are shining with awe at this point) inspects the orange ball, which turns out to be very soft. According to Ajiro, it’s a Goshman sponge ball.

Gensui seems eager to show more magic, so he takes the ball from Kirigirisu, presses it with his finger, returns it… and the ball in Kirigirisu’s hands has magically divided into two, each somehow the original’s size.

“Sponge balls like this one are very popular, since they allow the magic to happen in the spectator’s own hands,” Ajiro explains. “Let me handle that for a bit, Kirigirisu.” He takes the two balls for just a second, puts them back into Kirigirisu’s hand, gently pushes his fist closed…

...and Kirigirisu realizes with a start that there is now a good ten sponge balls inside his own hand, so many he can’t even get a grip on them, resulting in them falling to the ground while he fumbles in complete shock.

“Wh… how… I...?!”

“Aw, Souji, how awful of you,” Gensui teases. “You overdid it and scared poor Kirigirisu into shock.”

“Awful of me? It’s your own fault that he’s in shock.” Ajiro finally takes mercy on dumbfounded Kirigirisu and explains what just happened. “You may want to remember what I’m going to tell you now, Kirigirisu: illusion is all about showing the audience impossible things. Since those things are impossible, they can’t have actually happened, it just looks like they did. You can solve the secret by process of elimination. Look at all the distinct processes that make up the effect, reject what must be impossible, and what remains in the end will lead you to the method.”

Like the classic process of elimination used in solving cases. Spurn by those words, Kirigirisu attempts to figure out the solution.

It was certainly impossible to divide a sponge ball into ten parts while still keeping the same size and texture. Therefore, the ten sponge balls had to have all existed from the beginning.

How could one make it seem like the sponge ball was multiplying? Since the effect was shown right after Gensui’s lecture, it probably had something to do with what he had said. Both Gensui and Ajiro took the objects into their own hands before returning them. Therefore… Gensui almost certainly had another sponge ball already palmed, and gave it to Kirigirisu together with the original. Perhaps the soft material allowed for easy compressing and hiding of even ten of them at once.

But why on earth would Ajiro randomly keep eight sponge balls on his person? That seemed improbable. If so...

“Boss, when did Gensui give you eight of these sponge balls?”

Gensui and Ajiro both look happy and proud hearing this.

“That is a very good question,” Ajiro says. “While Gensui was showing you the miraculous dividing sponge ball, he sent me a look and secretly passed eight more balls to me. That was enough for me to guess what he wanted me to do.” And so Ajiro became Gensui’s partner in crime, so to speak.

Once all the explanations are done, Gensui gives Kirigirisu a little challenge: to watch the evening show and using his new knowledge try guessing the secrets behind the illusions.

“But—I certainly won’t be able to see through something as amazing and polished as that show!”

“There’s no need to be humble. You are a capable detective. Even if an illusion isn’t quite the same thing as a murder case, wouldn’t you still be able to grasp the solution?”

“Speaking of murder cases,” Ajiro interrupts, “you wanted us to see the show before talking about the case at hand. Are the two connected?”

“They are,” Gensui admits with a serious expression.

“Then—then I’ll do my best to solve the show,” Kirigirisu decides. “Even if I’m not really confident I can do it.”

Sensing that the mood is getting too dark, Gensui announces he’s going to show them one last trick for now. This one he won’t explain yet in order to pique Kirigirisu’s curiosity for later.

“Unfortunately I don’t have playing cards with me right now, so I’ll make do with this,” Gensui says and gives Kirigirisu a familiar business card to inspect. Nice to meet you, I’m Soga Tensui. Nice to meet you, Kirigirisu Tarou. “There are countless variations of card magic. I hope I will have an opportunity to show you Paul Curry’s Out of This World one day, the illusion that the great magician Dai Vernon once called “the card trick of the century”. But today, instead of the flashy Out of This World, I want to show you its polar opposite I devised: Change The World. The simplest card magic possible, stripped of all unnecessary decorations, using only one card.”

“It’s been a few years since I’ve last seen it,” Ajiro says, visibly expecting something amazing to happen.

Gensui puts the card on his open left palm.

“Keep your eyes on it… it’s going to be over in a flash.” He reaches out with his right hand, then moves it fast as lightning, making it pass a good ten centimeters above the card. It really is over in a flash. The card was hidden from the detectives’ sight for just a split of a second, and yet… it has been transformed into Kirigirisu’s business card.

If you ask Kirigirisu, this entire day full of illusion seemed to Change the World for him.

And so, Ajiro and Kirigirisu prepare to watch the last show of the season.

Nobody could guess that it would end up being the Saimon family’s last public performance.

The evening show follows the same programme as the afternoon one. Using his new magic knowledge, Kirigirisu is able to figure out some things.

For example, the three Courtisanes couldn’t just produce their smoking pipes out of thin air—that was impossible—so they had to have them hidden somewhere. Knowing where to look now, Kirigirisu notices the moment they pull the pipes out of their long sleeves. When the Courtisanes throw the pipes in the air, he knows better than to follow the objects with his sight, and can easily see the women retrieving the umbrellas from their sleeves and opening them; it seems those umbrellas can be folded into a tiny size and loaded up their sleeves in large numbers. The umbrellas also have barely noticeable tiny pockets in them, where the confetti falls from when shaken. (It’s not really that Kirigirisu figures the solution out, as much as just knows where to look, and starts to understand why you shouldn’t show the same trick twice to the same person.) The umbrellas must also have some sort of a thin tube inside to pump water through, and strategic lighting creates the rainbows.

Tensui then shows up from inside the bell somehow. He couldn’t have hid inside beforehand, considering that the stagehands ring the bell at the beginning, and the resulting vibration and noise would render anyone inside deaf, if not kill them. If Tensui couldn’t appear from within the bell… then he must have appeared from below. Was there some sort of a hidden trap door in the floor, like in a kabuki theater?

Now that he thinks about it, is this newly appeared warrior actually Tensui, or maybe Gensui? Well, whichever brother it is, he is certainly "Soga Tensui" as far as the world at large is concerned.

How Tensui lights his left hand on fire without getting burned and how he disappears behind the big screen are mysteries Kirigirisu can’t solve. The two bells seemingly hitting each other and merging into one, which then disappears, just seem like pure magic; you can’t exactly palm a giant bell like a sponge ball.

The beginning of the mirror illusion is obviously just a pantomime that Tensui and Gensui are acting out. The problem is how one of them can get safely stabbed with a sword. The suddenly appearing glass pane in the frame can be easily explained if one notices a subtle change of lighting inside it. The frame probably has a similarly sized piece of glass attached on hinges at a 90 degree angle, so it can be moved to fit into the frame while the audience is distracted by the two warriors. Who moves the frame and how they do that, and how they manage to put a mirror inside later in half a second, is a mystery.

The flying bowtie is just baffling, as is Tensui’s manner of zooming off-stage without moving any of his limbs, or the way he appears from underneath that black cloth on the wooden cross that is kept above the ground at all times (although it is now obvious that what was inside was not a demon, but Tensui making the “horns” using his arms).

How the pictures on the origami doll box change remains a mystery, but the assistant appearing inside and Tensui’s switch with Kotensui can both be explained if they are able to enter and leave the box from below through a trap door… though the Tensui-Kotensui switch must require a lot of skill, considering how the tied hands under the cloth seem to move the entire time. Perhaps they perform the switch one hand at a time?

Kirigirisu already knows the secret behind Kotensui. It’s interesting how drastically the impression he gets changes now that he knows there’s a real boy inside, perfectly acting out stiff, jerky movements of a marionette.

Next comes the switch between adult Koyomi and little Koyomi; while tricky in execution, it can certainly be possible if the tunnel is placed over a trap door, and the big capes both Koyomis are wearing probably help hide the switch a little.

Kotensui’s walk in the air is actually way more impressive now that Kirigirisu knows it’s not actually a marionette. Even assuming the boy is lifted by means of invisible suspension cords, it wouldn’t explain how he walks through the tunnel without those cords catching on the ceiling.

The three members of the audience chosen by throwing a rose around turn out to really be random. It's fascinating how small Koyomi can ad-lib on the spot when talking with them. Maybe she's actually much older than she looks, who knows.

Next come the origami doves that grow twice in size when Koyomi blows on them. That seems impossible. And since it's impossible… Kirigirisu remembers Gensui's lecture and realizes that Koyomi probably performs a switch: the big doves she seems to inflate by blowing are distinct from the ones she and the spectators fold together. That would also explains how the inflated doves seem to grow little "legs".

How Koyomi's hat is able to make a paper dove disappear and a real one appear is still a mystery.

Kirigirisu already knows the outcome of the entire rock-paper-scissors routine and is a bit tempted to show stone against Kotensui's surprise scissors (which are easily made with a Magic Arm), but that wouldn't be fun, so in the end he shows paper like everyone else.

It's unknown how the Arm Guillotine doesn't cut through something in its upper hole. Later, the disembodied gloved hand (obviously fake) is thrown in the air and transforms into a dove… which is impossible. That glove had to already have the bird hidden inside somehow, and Koyomi just released it while pretending she's throwing the glove.

The Magic Hands act doesn't really have a secret involved, instead being a show of engineering and physical skill. Kirigirisu can't help but be deeply moved by the spectacle. A marionette performing dangerous acrobatics is one thing, but a small boy doing the same makes Kirigirisu develop sudden parental feelings, an urge to leap onto the stage and protect that little child somehow.

Next are the many tricks performed by the three girls and the clowns, all miraculous. How can the ribbons change into hula hoops? How can the hoops be linked together? When Kotensui drops the previously light globe, why does it hit the ground with a thud and doesn't bounce? And then there’s the floating, burning ball that zips all around and finally disappears when the clown catches it… at least Kirigirisu can guess that the cape covering the ball must be switched with an already prepared big flag of Japan at some point.

No idea about the secrets behind the next part: the clown pulling out red balls from within the flag, the girl turning them white, turning those balls into juggling pins using a tube, making the pins and balls switch colors, somehow stuffing all of them inside the tube. Then pouring seemingly infinite genuine beer out of an empty bottle and shaking candy out of a hat. Kirigirisu's confusion is amplified by the way these tricks are performed in quick succession, with lots of chaos on stage.

The man chosen through the flag quiz this time is a journalist, clearly different than the teacher from earlier, though he also chooses the flag of Japan. Once again Koyomi makes an intentional mistake, only to magically turn the Korean flags into Japanese ones. The flag card in her hand is probably switched when everyone's attention is on the giant card. But if she already has the Japan card prepared, then… does she know for certain that the spectator will always choose the flag of Japan? Neither man seemed like a planted stooge.

Next is the trick that Kirigirisu himself took part in, Watch & Sketch Control. The woman chosen instead of him gives very natural answers about the drawing (it's a ball, now it's a clock), then gives Koyomi the current time—which in the evening show is of course different: 6:54 PM. The next spectator chooses 3:00 as their favorite hour, and when the last spectator says stop, the magically moving drawn clock does stop on exactly 3:00.

A drawing starting to move is of course impossible. The only explanation Kirigirisu can think of is that what looks like a blank page actually has two white paper “clock hands” prepared beforehand, which—judging by the the way Koyomi supports the sketchbook with her arm behind it—can be moved by stealthily handling them from behind. Koyomi simply draws the arrows on top of these two prepared hands. This moment would always happen at around the same time into the show, so one could predict from what position the clock hands would begin their journey and set them beforehand.

In the same vein, Koyomi must then secretly set the right time on the real clock she has hidden behind the sketchbook, although how she knows when to stop without looking at the clock's face is anyone's guess. The circle was already red beforehand, and Koyomi just removes another piece of white paper that hides that color. All of this seems improbable considering the audience is able to examine the paper she used after the show… but only after the show. The staff can easily prepare a convincing fake in the meanwhile.

Finally, the "last illusion" from Koyomi. Kirigirisu suspects that the liquid inside the pitcher is not actually water, and that both the milk bottle and the wine glass aren’t as empty as they look, but a detailed explanation escapes him. Making a fish appear out of nowhere is impossible, so it must have been hidden somewhere.

Transforming a fish into a dragon is likewise impossible. The only explanation is that the giant writhing shadow isn’t actually a shadow, but a pre-recorded projection, and what seems like rain is delivered by a system of sprinklers. While everyone pays attention to the “dragon”, the stagehands quickly switch what’s behind the screen: the small tank to the giant tank, the plain black backdrop to the black-and-white funeral curtain. The projection trick would also help explain the earlier illusion with the warrior disappearing behind the screen.

While Koyomi and Kotensui hide under her umbrella, the clock on the table shows fast-forwarded time, probably with use of some timed mechanical device that Kirigirisu doesn’t know. The switch from little Koyomi to big Koyomi most likely uses the trapdoor again; the cape is held up in the air so that it acts as a “wall” that doesn’t let the audience notice the switch, the umbrella providing an additional shield. A trap door must be also how a chair magically shows up behind the umbrella set on the ground. The one thing a very convenient trap door does not explain is how adult Koyomi then disappears while sitting in a chair without visibly reaching the floor.

Kotensui’s acrobatic act—fully deserving its title of a Swing without a String—looks just plain terrifying now that Kirigirisu knows there’s an actual child in there. Just like before, Kotensui falls seemingly to his death, but is caught by Tensui and carried down to the stage. How Tensui performs Sea Walk and Sky Walk is not an easy mystery to solve, as expected of his signature acts.

Finally, the underwater escape. Watching the illusion a second time makes it painfully obvious that Tensui is just pretending to desperately struggle, but has it all under control. He gets out of the handcuffs and the chains with the same timing as before, swims around the cage searching for a way out in roughly the same manner, and just like before the Press Hammer seems to crush him at the end. How exactly he can get out of there in time and reappear in the auditorium, Kirigirisu can’t guess.

Though Kirigirisu managed to figure out some of the methods, the sheer number of remaining mysteries proves that magic really is an art full of secrets. When he and Ajiro leave the tent, they’re greeted by snow, swirling beautifully in the evening air like yet another wondrous illusion.

[>>>NEXT PART>>>]

#sparkly reads the saimon family case #maijo and jdc stuff

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wolfhednn · 5 years

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(Has this been asked already?) It is said that over time or as a direct result of Glenn's death, Felix begins to take on some of Glenn's personality traits. What of his current persona is originally his?

ooc. so leading off, i think it’s a bit misleading to say that felix’s personality traits are either glenn’s or his own; they’re all his, in the sense that he’s not performing any of them, nor are they put on because it’s how he feels he should express himself.

that being said, felix definitely learned much of how to respond to situations from his brother. as i’ve mentioned before, glenn was his biggest role model growing up ( as he was for much of the childhood friend quartet, in different ways ), and he did, in some ways, seek to emulate him because glenn made the sun rise, in little!felix’s eyes. the unflappable exterior, keeping a cool head in an urgent situation, being independent and self-sufficient — these are definitely traits he saw in glenn and wanted to take on for himself.

some other parts of his personality are just Fraldarius Traits TM. they’re all bad at being in touch with their emotions, admitting to them, and externalizing them in healthy, constructive ways. they’re all hard-asses. they’re a historical family of elite soldiers, so they’re all proud and raring for a fight. ( rodrigue chilled out in his later years, as i imagine felix does too, but have you heard that man’s crit quotes in their paralogue?? )

felix was very different when he was younger, that is true. he was pretty carefree and innocent, and definitely more expressive. but it’s a disservice to say that what he is now isn’t also himself. a lot of how he’s changed is arguably more a direct result of the attitudes he faced in the wake of the tragedy and how he responded to his brother’s death. i’d touched a bit on it in my rodrigue drabble, but felix really felt misunderstood and emotionally abandoned in the wake of duscur, particularly by his father, but also by society at large. in his mind, no one understood his perspective or tried to see why he thought the way he did. the message he got from his father — who had a slew of his own issues going on at the time — was that his way of thinking was immature and childish, and that he needed to learn to see things like an adult. there was also a lot of comparison, overtly or not, to how rodrigue saw glenn ( who i hc was the favored child, though i don’t think intentionally on rodrigue’s part ). glenn had been honorable, mature, dutiful, responsible. felix was not.

this is much of the reason why felix overcompensates in the way he does. he’s learned that being tough, unshakable, and unemotional is being mature, and he’s sick of being seen as a child. i don’t think this was ever a ‘persona’ he put on in order to seem adult; it’s just what he hardened into over time, believing, as well, that how he used to be before the tragedy — clingy and emotional — was childish. it’s unconsciously part of why he’s so quick to denounce the same traits in others the same way.

he doesn’t quite get it right, of course, because he’s seventeen and also because the ‘tough guys don’t have emotions’ thing is a message internalized in his entire family. ironically, glenn, though also sarcastic and sharp-tongued, was quite different from what felix is now. he was a bit cockier, more charismatic, more playful. but he was also more openly caring than felix is now as well. i think the last trait is where felix begins to move towards after the timeskip, most notably in his A support with dimitri, as he begins learning that putting up a tough front isn’t always the adult thing to do. it probably won’t ever go away, because he’s a Fraldarius TM and because of the above-mentioned circumstances that shaped his personality growing up, but again, it’s not so much an imitation of glenn as it is just part of who he is.

( in fact, he actually has really bittersweet feelings about being told he’s like glenn. but that’s, again, an essay for another day. )

#me again: this shouldn't be long just a few quick points #god damn it #thank you for asking!!#i real appreciate meta stuff #hotheadhero #▐ ⊰ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀ ᴀᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ⊱ meta.#. ⊰ ❛ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀ ᴀᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ⊱ * meta — ✘#. ⊰ ❛ ʜᴇᴀᴠᴇɴ sʜᴀʟʟ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ sɪʟᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʀᴀᴠᴇ ⊱ * meta — ✘#. ⊰ ❛ ʜᴇᴀᴠᴇɴ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀs ᴛʜᴇ sɪʟᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʙʀᴀᴠᴇ ⊱ * meta — ✘

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dxmedstudent · 5 years

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i'm 20 and i'm worried about how overly fussy i am with dating men. i do think it's a maturity thing and i'm still trying to outgrow the ridiculous expectations i have for a boyfriend but i always seem to get bored of the guys i've talked to/dated. idk why but guys that show vulnerability make me uncomfortable?? i think it's the ideas i hold about 'masculinity' and i don't want to think like that anymore. any tips to move past this way of thinking?

Hey, friend. What an interesting ask, thank you for writing in. I‘m going to treat you with a rambling post, but I’ll try to break it up so that it’s less boring. Don’t be hard on yourself; you’re still learning what you want and need. You’re still really young, and what you want in a partner can change a lot as you yourself grow as a person. What might help is if you reflect on what you actually want. Firstly, what are you actually seeing a person for? There’s an assumption that everyone wants a longterm relationship which leads to marriage, kids, a mortgage and a dog. But not everyone wants that or is ready to even think about that. So you do you. Do you want just to date to have fun? Or a casual relationship? What about FWB? Just sex? A longterm relationship? Kids and a house? Or just to muddle along and see what happens? Because I think a lot of ourselves don’t really think enough about just what we expect out of seeing people. It’s OK if this changes; lots of people start off wanting to be casual, but get serious, or think they want something serious but realise that they don’t. The key is to be open to reflecting on what, right now, will make you happy. And if you even want to be dating at all. It’s OK if the answer is ‘no’, or if you don’t want what everyone else wants for you. The best way to find someone you really want is to not be afraid of being alone. I wonder if you might get bored partly because you’re not sure what you want out of dating; a lot of young people don’t necessarily want a long term relationship or to plan too far ahead, and that’s OK, too. Young people are under a lot of pressure to date, have sex and eventually get married and have kids, but a lot of people just don’t feel ready for that, or might not want that at all. Women, in particular are bombarded messages about how miserable it is to be single, and how we need a man and kids to make us complete. A lot of that pressure can come from other women as well as parents and friends. But not all women feel ready for that, or want that, and pressuring ourselves to rush into relationships can lead to unhappiness because people feel they need to have ‘someone’ for the sake of not being single. I’ve seen people put up with relationships that looked pretty unsatisfying from the start, and I always wondered how much of that was the fear of being alone, of being unloved and of being seen to be single. Perhaps take time out of dating to reflect on who you are right now, and what you want out of life. Not just out of dating, but also out of life in general. Look after the whole of your life, and work towards the things that will give you happiness. Make sure you have a life outside of dating; there are no guarantees any relationship will work out, and anyhow, life is more than just romance. If talking to a guy isn’t interesting or exciting, don’t keep dating him; you have to really want to keep seeing someone for it to work. It sounds like you know that, which is why you’re trying to change your way of thinking, and I really respect the thought you’ve put into what’s not been working for you. That’s actually pretty mature, so don’t be harsh on yourself.

Men are people, too. It’s hard to tell if your dates start out really promising and you then get bored, or if perhaps it was hard to be enthusiastic to begin with? Though if you find your enthusiasm for them wearing off, it sounds like it might very much relate to your expectations for masculinity. When you get to know a man, and he starts to be more open and vulnerable with you, that goes against what we’re taught about masculinity. We’re told that guys are meant to be tough, silent logical and unemotional. But you and I know that men are people with feelings just like anyone else. People who are moved deeply, who have complex feelings and their own fears and hopes and issues. Society may view women as weak for having emotions, but it at least allows us to express them (even if it does mock us for them anyway); men are under pressure to hold back and keep everything they feel to themselves lest they are seen as weak, and well, feminine. This isn’t very healthy for guys, and I think you’re right to point out that we as women can also enforce unfair standards if we insult men for showing vulnerability. In turn, men will tend to find it harder to open up to friends and family, and are more likely to perhaps rely on only their partner, if they rely on anyone at all, because there are few contexts in which men are allowed to express their feelings.

Get him off that pedestal. Try to reframe how you see the concept of a date or boyfriend. I know that when you first start seeing someone they are shiny and new and seem to be amazing, but also really mysterious. When you start seeing someone, it’s hard not to get ahead of oneself because there’s actually very little we know about them. But putting them on a pedestal will ultimately make it difficult to have an equal relationship with them as a real person. A guy is just a guy; no different from your male friend or brother or father or male colleague, they will just occupy a different place in your life. We get bombarded with a lot of ideals about what a romantic partner should be like, but really, in the end they are just another person; merely a really good friend you fancy the pants off, rather than a creature we should keep to a higher standard than all other humans. It wouldn’t surprise you that your friends have feelings and are sometimes vulnerable. Think about what it is about vulnerability that makes you feel uncomfortable, but also about what that discomfort is. Is it that you feel it makes them weak? Perhaps it’s a bit scary to see someone you admire with weaknesses or being sad? Perhaps it makes you uncomfortable because you yourself don’t like opening up- there could be many reasons. What do we even want in a partner, anyway? Then you need to think about what you want in a partner, and whether your expectations are what you really want, or are right for you. There are things that are non-negotiable, ideally, this list should be as short and sensible as possible, because it rules out a lot of people. The more things that are non-negotiable, the harder it might be to find someone to meet your criteria. My thoughts on this are basically: I want to find a decent person who I really gel with and who I can build a life with. If I focus on things like how tall or chubby (etc) they are, it’ll rule out lots of perfectly nice people who might be just right, on really arbitrary grounds. That said, we ALL have non-negotiable criteria, even if they are something like ‘is respectful’ and ‘100% understands consent’. I’m just a believer in making sure those criteria truly matter. And there are things that are nice but not essential. For example, liking the same band, or having the same hobby; you would probably want someone you were seeing to have stuff in common with you in general, but not all your interests would have to line up. You don’t mention what your expectations are, but you can try to remind yourself that most qualities are seasoning; added extras. It might be nice if you like the same band, or the same game, but it’s by no means essential. Types are for blood, not people. I’ve always been a bit wary of the idea of a ‘type’; it feels like limiting yourself to a narrow set of attributes that might be charming, but honestly? lots of people who are different than that can also be perfectly nice and might also be good for you. I’m not a massive crush person, I don’t fall for many people at all, which makes dating even more like looking for a needle in a haystack. But the people I’ve liked have been pretty varied; they aren’t linked by ethnicity or weight or height or particular interests and I guess what I liked about them all was a little different. I just don’t see how some people can say ‘I only like blondes’ or ‘only muscly guys turn me on’, like there are so many cute things about people out there in the world, are you really going to tell me that if someone doesn’t have blue eyes or big boobs, ripped abs, lots of cash or a flash car etc that you wouldn’t find them attractive!? Because half of liking someone is finding little dorky things about them that might not even be remotely conventionally attractive and realising that it makes them kind of cute. Regardless, the real problem with types is that they can sometimes be a way of reliving familiar but ultimately unhelpful ground. Some of my friends really do have ‘types’, and it makes me worry for them, because they keep coming across similar problems in their relationships again and again and I can’t help but feel that it might be because they are picking people with similar kinds of issues, and come up against the same wall as last time. I think examining what we’re attracted to, and what that says about ourselves, and how compatible that combination is with our actual happiness is pretty important, and that’s only something we can et through practice and learning from previous relationships alon the way. There’s no shame in things not working out in the past; it helps us do better next time around. This isn’t to say that it’s wrong to be attracted to something, but some things can be unhealthy, and attraction to something doesn’t necessarily mean there’s compatibility, either. We can be attracted to people with qualities that bring out the best in us, or bring out the worst; our attraction to something doesn’t guarantee that it works for us. What each person needs to do is work out the things that attract them which are good for them, or work on their self until what attracts them is good for them because they are in a much healthier state mentally and in their life. We all have issues; we all have different ways of thinking, and ways in which our past affects who we are. We all have hurts, and different ways in which we react to situations. Accepting that we’re human, and that interpersional relationships can be hard (and therefore require thought and work) means that we can work on understanding ourselves and the people who are in our lives. Utimately, in the long term, we all need people who can bring out the best in us, but who don’t bring out our worst qualities or insecurities. Good luck, and I hope you find what you’re looking for :D

#askdx #ask dx #dxdates #dx dates #dating #relationships #advice

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redrobinfection · 6 years

Text

(29) “Date Night”

JayTim Christmas in July 2018 - Day 29 “Date Night”

(<< Continued from Day 17 “S’mores”)

Jason slapped his shoulder lightly. "Hey. I thought we went over this; none of that sexy stuff! This is a PG-rated, all fluffy fun bonding trip. No seducing me into sexual activities with your well-affected, sloppy cuteness," he teased.

"Kissing is hardly sex."

"It is if we start tongue-fucking each other!"

~*~

Tim let out an ugly snort before he contain it and Jason burst out laughing, which set him off laughing as well. “O-okay, okay, so… so b-bonding,” Tim choked out between laughs. “We hiked up here, we set up camp, started a fire, ate dinner, made s'mores… Now what? Do we sing campfire songs and cuddle? Or is cuddling too sexual? ‘Kumbaya’ sound good to you?”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Yes to cuddling - jeez, I think we can manage to sit together and hold hands without it turning into a porno for the bears, ya know - but no to singing. We came out here work on our relationship, so I guess that means we should, I dunno, talk or something.”

“About what?”

“About the things we never talk about,” Jason replied soberly, “The stuff we never get around to or the stuff we are afraid to talk about or-”

“So like… things we want to work on?”

“Yeah, or things that are bothering you, all the things tha-”

“A gun safe.”

Jason blinked and tilted his head quizzically. Tim’s expression had taken on a serious, contemplative cast. “If you’re going to sleep in my apartment - the real one, the one that 'Tim Wayne’ walks in and out of in broad daylight - and bring guns over then you need to help me pick out a gun safe for you to store them in,” Tim explained, meeting his gaze firmly. “It’s great that you’re storing the ammo away from the weapons and keeping the safeties on and all of that, but I need more if you’re going to keep guns at my place on a regular basis. At any of my places - apartment, safehouses, or my cave.”

Jason nodded. “I can do that.” Tim’s expression lightened and he nodded his appreciation. Jason took a moment to compose himself then blurted out,

“Date nights.”

“Date nights?”

“I love patrolling with Red Robin then crashing at your place afterwards, but that’s not 'dating’,” he informed Tim bluntly. “Eating dinner and chatting it up on a stakeout is not a 'date’ and fixing up each other’s wounds might be re-bonding flesh, but it’s not 'bonding’,” he explained, doing his utmost to keep his tone even and unemotional.

He’d been sitting on these complaints for a long time, not wanting to seem too demanding or needy, so it was tough to not let it burst out all at once. “I know you’re a busy man, and you do fantastic work, but sometimes I feel like you’re all 'go, go, go’ and there’s never really any time to take a break. Like there’s never any time for 'us’.”

Tim’s face crumpled in dismay. “Jason…”

“I’m not finished,” he said, holding up a hand. Tim waited, his hurt expression screaming concern. “All of that was fine before, when we were just feelin’ this out, figuring things out between us, but I feel like we’re ready to go further than that. That’s why I asked for this trip, that’s why I wanted us to talk seriously about what we need from each other. So…yeah. Date nights,” he finished lamely, leaning back with a sigh.

“I… yeah. No. Definitely. We can do that,” Tim replied faintly, looking sick.

Jason frowned. “Are you sure? You don’t look all to keen on the idea…”

“No, I…” Tim closed his eyes and shook his head vigorously, swallowing convulsively. When he opened his eyes again it was with a pained, apologetic expression. “I’m just so sorry you felt that way. I had no idea. If I had known-”

“Hey. Tim. Man. Chill, okay?” Jason reached out and grasped his hand, squeezing gently. “Breathe. I’m not mad and, like I said, that was fine before. We were keepin’ casual and that’s fine. I just… moving forward I want more. That’s all,” he reassured him, lifting their hands and giving them a little shake as he smiled down at Tim gently. Tim relaxed only slightly and smiled back weakly, as if not entirely convinced yet. Jason huffed a laugh and pulled their hands into his lap.

“Besides, even if I was upset about this - and I’m not - we came out here to talk things out, right? It’s okay for us to be honest and express what we’re really feeling, even the negative things, as long as we communicate and work together to get to a better place. Right?

Tim’s searching stare could have bored holes into the rock beneath them, but eventually he seemed to find whatever he was looking for behind Jason’s eyes and relaxed with a barely perceptible sigh. “Yeah, I guess as long as we’re here and in the mood to be open with each other we should try to discuss as many of our concerns and needs as we can, so we can work them out now before they become issues later.” He squeezed Jason’s hand gently, as if looking for confirmation.

Jason took the cue and squeezed Tim’s hand firmly, knocking it against their legs as he leaned into him playfully. “Exactly. Sorry, if I scared you. I just get intense, you know?”

“Y-yeah,” Tim replied breathlessly, swinging their hands and shooting him a sly grin. “I get pretty intense sometimes too.”

“S'all good,” Jason replied, pressing a soft kiss into Tim’s hair. “As long as we’re on the same page, it’s all good.”

Tim nodded and for a few minutes they both stared into the crackling flames of their campfire without speaking. Jason enjoyed the quiet moments sharing each other’s warmth and that of the fire; it was a comfortable, companionable silence. Jason could just make out the yips of a few coyote in the distance and at one point the howls of far-off wolves. After a few minutes Tim shifted.

“So… does this count as a date?” Tim asked, something about his tone making Jason draw back to get a good look at him. Tim was sporting a grin that he tried to hide by turning his face toward the flames.

“Yes. Yes, it is,” Jason replied slowly, biting off each word carefully. “But this is a special kind of date, a date weekend. Don’t think this counts for the next three weeks or some shit like that!”

“So we’re gonna do one date night per week?”

“At least. We’ll start out once a week and adjust from there.”

Tim smiled up at him in earnest. “Sounds good to me. What about these special date weekends? How often are we going to do these?”

“As often as I can drag you away from your precious duties, you crazy work-a-holic,” Jason replied blithely. “Let’s aim once every other month.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Tim replied, before turning back to the fire and yawning so widely Jason swore he heard his jaw crack.

“You know what else sounds like a plan? Sleeping. Let’s turn in, Timbo,” Jason said, standing with a stretch that popped several tendons and joints across his back, hips and knees. Ahhhh, the perks of being a vigilante!

“But it’s only nine o’ clock.”

“Yeah, but it’s pitch black out here and you’ve been averaging four hours a night for the last week and a half. Time to go pay off your sleep debt,” Jason replied, grabbing Tim’s wrists and levering him up.

Tim allowed it, but once he passed vertical he sagged limply into Jason’s chest and peered up at him from under his eyebrows, batting his eyelashes ridiculously. “You just want to get me into your sleeping bag, you horn dog.”

Jason laughed out loud. “I’m the horn dog? You’re the one who keeps throwing yourself at me.”

Tim grinned sleepily. “Guilty. Okay. Let’s sleep, that way we’ll be fully rested when I make you teach the birds how to sing come sunrise.”

“Tim!”

#my writing #chirstmasriverswrites #jaytim #jaytimss #jaytim christmas in july 2018 #jaytimxmasinjuly #barely edited #i'll edit it more later when I start to feel guilty enough #long text post #day 29 #date night #edits and revisions: 2019.07.21

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bthump · 6 years

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what would you like to change in berserk? actually im asking how the story would work without using rape as a plot device but also in general (characterization, plot etc.)

Ooh this is an interesting question, ty!

I wouldn’t change either Guts or Griffith’s backstories tbh, I think they’re actually pretty well done, and important to their characters and narratives without being the be all end all. Well, I’d like to make Gennon less of an evil gay stereotype and Donovan less of a scary black man stereotype but yk, other than those details the existence of rape in their backstories isn’t something I’d change.

With Casca… tough call. Her story is all about gendered violence to the point where if you got rid of the rape attempts you’d have to come up with a whole new story for her. But it’s still a shallower and less well-rounded depiction of abuse than either guts or griffith’s backstories, bc it’s so emphatically gendered, like, rather than informing her personality or her choices it’s just framed as being a woman.

So actually I guess for Casca what I’d change is (actually pretty obviously lol) her motivations. She’s not in love with Griffith, she idealizes his dream because she knows he wants to dismantle those power structures that fuck her over and create a place where those w/ power can’t easily abuse their power over others. She hates Guts not because she’s jealous of him (tho she could still be jealous of his emotional closeness with Griffith, like she’d still admire Griffith here even if she’s not in love with him and I like that rival dynamic), but because she recognizes that he could end up destroying Griffith’s dream.

Also I think we can still cut out most of the rape threats she gets while still showing that she has something to fight against. Maybe keep Adon being a gross dick (in all fairness he kind of mirrors Gennon towards Griffith which kind of shows how they’re fighting for the same dream - ie a world where those kinds of dudes are shut down) but have Casca just fighting for her life rather than against rape attempts as she runs from the 100 man fight.

So nothing really changes much until Guts comes back from his vacation. And now Casca is genuinely, genuinely angry and hateful towards him, because he did exactly what she’s been afraid he was going to do - destroyed Griffith’s dream, and her hope for a better future.

Which means they don’t have sex lol, Casca was never into Guts, they began a friendship towards the end of the war but nothing more. And now that Guts has come back Casca is actively hostile to him, though after Guts lets her stab him she probably forgives him a bit bc it’s not like he intended to destroy absolutely everything, and he’s clearly fucked up about it.

Also no suicide attempt.

So their dynamic during the rescue mission is resentful allies, like a throwback to their first three years knowing each other.

Wyald still happens but no attempted rape w/ Casca obviously.

Now when it comes to the Eclipse, I want it to be all about Guts, and I want it to hit the audience over the head with parallels to his childhood. It’s the Eclipse, it doesn’t need to be subtle. Rather than looking wistful when Griffith sacrifices everyone, I want Guts to look betrayed, I want him to look just as sad and horrified as he did when he was 11 and Gambino told him he sold him to Donovan.

Agh I’d hate to lose the creepy silent monster vibe from Femto, but something like a cold, “you’re still alive?” would be v fitting w/ the “you should have died” parallels. Tho idk I’m torn on that.

And ok I said I want it to be all about Guts but I can’t just kill off Casca. But if she’s gonna live the Eclipse needs some serious personal meaning for her too. So maybe her reaction to being sacrificed, knowing it’s for the dream she’s dedicated her life to and in theory she should be willing to give her life for it, and trying to reconcile that with the horrificness of the situation and her desperate desire to survive anyway. So she survives long enough for Femto to show up, because she’s not the third best fighter in the Hawks for nothing, and then…

torture? Femto has monsters hold Guts down and tortures Casca in a way reminiscent of a kid pulling the wings off a fly. She loses an arm, Guts keeps his because he’s too busy being utterly terrified and possibly flashbacking to hack his own arm off in a rage.

Like, one thing about the Eclipse rape, is that if Miura had to have it as a way of emotionally affecting Guts, how the fuck did he manage to draw like two chapters of awful awful shit with Guts being held down by monsters that he’d just watched rape Casca, and completely fail to allude to Guts’ own rape trauma? How. Hooooow it’s mind boggling. It’s absurd.

But you don’t even need the graphic rape for that, like hell, Miura has absolutely adequately set up the correlation between giant monsters Guts is compelled to fight and his own childhood trauma imo to justify Guts having a very emotional traumatic reaction to just being held down and made helpless by monsters after being essentially given to them.

There’s Black Swordsman Guts in a nutshell, and this is exactly what was implied to have caused him to go full traumatized amoral asshole. Before g*tsca was a gleam in Miura’s eye all he had were those parallels to Guts’ childhood trauma - Guts being given away to monsters by someone he trusted - and that’s all he needed.

So anyway, because Casca lives, she has her own reaction to being casually tortured by Femto before being rescued, which is also a replay of her childhood trauma but without the agency of killing her attacker herself with a sword. So her reaction could very well be similar to Guts’ - a desire to kill monsters and get revenge. Maybe she’s lost her idealism wrt the dream, and she’s more cynical now - a better world is impossible, best you can do is survive this one.

She and Guts go their separate ways because they’re barely friends, let alone lovers, and remember 2 brands = big ghost problems.

After this the narrative splits 3 ways between NGriff, Guts, and Casca.

I’m reaching the limits of my creativity lol. So I’m just gonna suggest that Guts gets the behelit, Casca gets the armour and the rpg group, Casca gets the moving on arc and hooks up with Farnese while maybe finding a happy medium between changing the world and lashing out against the world, and Guts succumbs to his inner darkness and gets a highly emotional confrontation with Griffith. Since he has the behelit maybe he uses it upon realizing that Griffith’s heart is still beating for him, bc the emotional conflict is just too much, and sacrifices Griffith to become a Zodd-esque apostle wandering battlefields and fighting for no reason, basically returned to his pre-Griffith state.

It’s probably shorter than 355 chapters too lbr. I’d say NGriff creates Falconia right before the confrontation with Guts, so yk he achieves his dream b4 ironically getting sacrificed. Otherwise his story doesn’t change much. Maybe stronger suggestions that he’s not as unemotional as he looks, to build up to a guts confrontation better.

Like… I’m not a very creative or good writer lol but I feel this general outline could be written in a very good and satisfying way by someone with talent, like Miura.

#ask #a #b #long post #ty for asking plz feel free to contribute with your own suggestions and ideas #Anonymous #character: guts #character: casca #headcanons #theme: trauma #theme: critique #theme: misogyny #scene: eclipse

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