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#being gaslit by capitalism
hussyknee · 6 months
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Idk if there's enough people talking about what a gigantic energy drain Complex PTSD is. It's not just one single traumatic event, it's having lived in a traumatic situation for a long time. And in the case of child abuse, your entire formative life period. Everything is a trigger, anxiety is your default, and your brain keeps trying to keep you safe by yelling at you about everything you're doing "wrong", which will lead to pain. Your brain is a constant war zone, braced for attack, rarely relaxed, at least some part of you always hypervigilant. The stress it takes on your body is insane. It's why trauma is linked to autoimmune issues, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and, according to one study, cancer.
Physical disability leaves you even more vulnerable and less able to live up to the impossible standards of control and "correct" behaviour your brain insists on, not to mention the free gift given to all patients of chronic illness that is medical gaslighting and patient-blaming, all of which simply compounds the trauma. Reduced physical and mental health obviously leads to systemic risk factors such as inability to pursue academic and professional qualifications, poverty and financial struggle, malnutrition, becoming unhoused or bad living conditions, exacerbated medical issues and further lack of medical resources, reliance on welfare and care networks, and becoming trapped in codependent, abusive or toxic relationships. The knock-on effects are endless.
This is all to say— if you're wondering why you can't seem to do more than the bare minimum every day when you haven't been diagnosed with a physical illness, or you're "not that disabled", or you think your symptoms are "just psychosomatic" (which means your brain is under so much intolerable stress that it's started taking a chair to the windows and destroying the furniture just to get you to NOTICE AND MAKE IT STOP): the answer is that your body is actually struggling under the kind of stress that kills trained soldiers and disables them for life. So stop trying to convince yourself that you're just not trying hard enough when what you really, desperately need to get your life on track is community, care, rest and ease.
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m-ushroomtale · 2 years
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#zhang zhehan#ur giegie. ur laopo is literally a nazi#btw. idk if the intl fandom has heard / had a collectiv tantrum abt this already (i'm blocked by p much the entire tumblr woh fandom) but#china has 'placed restrictions' on danmei live actions -- a few months back after the nazi incident n everything that came w it (the whole#junzhe craze remember it was so real gj n the nazi both hyped up the rpf fantasy then gj stopped but the nazi kept going n going#until the younger fans started exhibiting cult-like behavior n it was fandom capitalism on steroids) basically after cql n woh the networks#hav noticed that making low-budget adaptations of already massively popular danmei novels will make them a lot of money n will send the#main actors rite 2 the top of c-ent. so. lol. the media boards hav put a stop 2 that. we dunno wat will happen 2 the live actions that were#in the middle of being filmed when this announcement was made. i suppose they could always sell their shows 2 foreign networks? (lmao then#chinese ppl can pirate them no problem) but ya. remember china's rule of no-making-money-off-of-(lgbtqa+). they found a loophole -- just#don't call it lgbtqa+ -- then the loophole was plugged. this is just like the restrictions on the k-pop style grps. a lot of danmei fans#actually support this decision cos a lot of young girls r becoming 'stans' of actors n it's not healthy : ) i support it cos nobody deserves#2 b gaslit / manipulated by 2-faced pro-fascist japan nazi : ) also c-ent is v corrupt so cracking down wherever possible is a net positive#gj filmed 1 gay drama b4 wc u hav 2 find via back alleys n now woh is the same. still gj is ult winner. cos of ban nobody else'll come after
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gogyposting · 2 years
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is it so unreasonable for me to not want dream to reap the “benefits” of being a part of the LGBT community (which in this case is getting a pass to make gay jokes or say slurs i guess) if he is not clear about whether or not he is a part of the LGBT community
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booburry · 6 months
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Sam Coe Headcanon 3/??
SFW but this is going to be about Lillian and their dynamic so...read knowing you are probably going to hate her more after this.
100% Spoilers
As I am sure y'all have been doing, I have been watching Lillian like a hawk and wishing my dusty could actually give her a piece of MY mind. But it also had me thinking a lot of what type of person she is and what their relationship must have been like...
Lillian is 100% a narcissist with a capital N, A, R, C, I, S, S, I, S, T!
I truly think the reason she took Sam 'on' and 'saved him' was so that she could have the accolade of 'Saving the Last Coe'
Or because she saw how weak and vulnerable he was at that time she knew he would be an easy man to manipulate
She definitely gave false support only to get the noose around his neck tighter
I truly think she is the main reason Sam and his Dad couldn't manage to reconcile at all, even a small part, as with him moving further away from the 'Coe' name and dynasty he had in mind, the more spiteful he became of his 'ungrateful and unworthy child'
Knowing how much Jacob manipulated Sam made it really easy for him to see what he had with Lillian (atleast at the time but not in reflection) as love. He had never really known much else except for the few memories he has from his mom
She gaslit every fucking emotion he had
She would use 'logic' to diffuse any concerns or valid upsets with Sam
She kept them focused on the job, to the point where I see Sam not really knowing true details of her life--mostly just how she is/was as a ranger and surface level information (ie only child)
I think she used the promise of a family 'some day' as a carrot on a stick for Sam, keeping him tethered to her even when he was starting to become unhappy.
She 100% did not want Cora. Not only is she a confirmed unplanned baby, but given how Sam was the main caretaker, she refers to her daughter as a 'puppy' crawling after Sam and her 'closest ranger bud from Neon' has to ask her if her name is Cora. So...fuck her.
When Sam tells you that he just hit a wall one day and that is why he left, it just screams to me how she just constantly dismissed him, didn't care for his needs or upsets or discuss ANY of his emotions
It's also crazy cause in all the dialogue I have seen and experienced with her, she never talks about her emotions. The only one is jealousy towards Sam with how attached Cora is to him, which is just upset that someone could see Lillian as lesser than anyone or anything.
She would 100% hate the P/C and, outside of canon dialogue, would do everything in her power to put a wedge between them and Sam
I think every few months she crawls back to Sam only for intimacy cause that is, truly, the only way I can justify Sam still being hung up on such a bitch
Like she truly must have broken him if he can't see the vile person that she is
Pleeeeease Bethesda - let me kill her. Accidents happen in a gun fight, okay?
Okay????
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I’ve got to stop looking at Gale take’s on Tiktok because every time I look at them I just get instantly pissed off 😭 No joke, I got into an argument with someone who said that Gale never truly cared about Prim and without Gale she’d still be alive??
Without Gale, there is 3 times where Prim would’ve died. 1- When Katniss went into the games for the first time, without Gale supporting her family (Which he did with 0 complaint while also already struggling with his own) Prim would have died. The 2nd- Gale saving Prim while Snow bombed district 12 in Catching Fire. And 3rd- Gale going back to checking on Prim in the compartment, risking his own life in the process. Katniss even mentions how Gale was thinking about Prim and not her! And the story about how happy Gale was to get Prim a goat??! If there’ any character who cared as much about Prim as Katniss did, it’s Gale.
Now, for Prim’s death, it was canonically out of his control. There’s a post I reblogged here: https://www.tumblr.com/thelakesogversion-blog/735278848241991680/a-vindication-of-gale-hawthorne That perfectly explains why it wasn’t but in summary, while yes Gale and Beetee designed the bombs, no where were they expecting them to be used like they were. The decision to use them on Capital Children and medics like Prim was made when Gale, Katniss, Cressida/etc had no communication with the rebels. When the bombs dropped, Gale was captured by the Capital, meaning he was in no way responsible in ordering the bomb or knew the rebels would have done that.
I’m not saying everyone has to like Gale, even though he will always be my favorite, Im just tired of being gaslit by people who think he’s the villain and worse than Snow/Coin.
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How do I navigate this new life? So many questions plague my mind. Ironic. What happens when you start to question yourself? What do you do, when you can’t even trust yourself anymore? Petrified on a daily basis. Do I have a future left to salvage; my career, mygoals. I’ll say one thing. I didn’t expect to lose my whole identity. Profound loss. I grieve everyday. Not only mourning my former life and identity and plans, health, and body, but also fearing that I may never recover.
The last 3 years, has completely changed everything, including, the now, lack of trust and faith in our healthcare system. It’s difficult enough dealing with the social stigma, not being believed, gaslit, dismissed, invalidated, and blamed for my condition. But who do you go to, when your doctors can’t even help you, and some just won’t, and many just aren’t equipped or educated to deal with the new post viral condition. It’s been an enigma. The data and research has been sluggish, and US government funding is minimal.
The world moves on, but where does that leave about, what was it…17….or 22 million Americans? The data varies, but the scale is large. Massive. The largest mass disabling event in HUMAN history. And everyone ignores that it exists. Officials silence scientists and doctors, government censors social media, one minute it’s real, the next? no big deal. Inconsistency. Negligence and Lies.
Long Haulers of the world, does anyone else feel betrayed? Betrayed by people we are supposed to trust to have our best in mind, especially when it comes to our health institutions? I do. Everyday. I feel cheated and robbed of time, years off my life. All because of MONEY. Greed. Capitalism. I said it. The fucking cunt elephant in the room. Think of how much money certain people made during the pandemic? (If you know, you know) Of course I feel robbed. Of my life. And millions of others.
This is murder, irresponsible, and negligent.
And all WE want to do is FEEL better. Not be sick anymore so we can continue our lives. All while they continue to censor us.
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dangermousie · 5 months
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Finally she tells him as plainly as possible! Will it sink in?
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No, it won’t. I literally started laughing at this. Full on laughing. I mean, come on, omg who doesn’t want a psycho who can’t take no for an answer, has a house full of crazy women, a murderous mom who would make an amazing mother in law and who has gaslit you, fucked with your loved ones, and expected you to be grateful for it all. What a catch, am I right?
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Give the man a cookie! It took him well over two dozen eps but it finally sank in. Will he let her go? Hell no!
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You are telling me that a narrative where our FL will end up with THAT as a mother in law is a happy ending? And this is when the old bat liked her. I can imagine how much better it is in reality! I mean, even if supposing the Lord in the real world has a different and markedly better personality than the dream one, there is no happiness for our FL being stuck in his palace, with that bat for a MIL and never be free to have anonymous wandering life she wanted. They might have a slight chance if lord dude (who in this version of reality as opposed to dream would also have better personality) did what ML of Novoland Castle in the Sky did and peaced the hell out to live wandering the world with his OTP leaving someone else to rule, but Novoland Castle in the Sky was made years ago and censors are highly unlikely to allow any story where a ruler retires, for obvious reasons. They’ve already fucked TROP badly with that particular restriction and this ain’t TROP.
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Finally! He learns! I laughed and laughed, heartless woman that I am.
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Btw I am amused how thin the figleaf of this is not emperor and ministers but this is a merchant and his butlers (ahahaha) is. I mean, he literally holds court in ep 26!!!! And since when do merchants have rights to exile or execute?
Which leads me to:
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yeetus-feetus · 4 months
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I made this for @strange-birb for their Batkid Secret Band AU, it is their artwork in the background too. Please go and check out their art it's awesome!
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About the stuffs:
I decided to call them DeathwalkerS because they've all died at some point and they're still walking around. Plus I think it sounds edgy, which I think these guys would definitely go for. They also have a wide range of alternative music genres because all of them have different tastes but they're still very alternative.
The bands colour scheme is purple and green because I thinks it's a funny bit of irony. We're stealing the Joker colours the same way Jason stole the Red Hood look.
Gotham by Gaslight is the name of the album whish is why the font is larger than all the other songs, and why it's the first song on CD. Pretty sure the song is pretty self explanatory, but it's about being gaslit by adults they thought they could trust. With fun little metaphors that use examples of /actual/ gas attacks that have happened in Gotham as a comparison to what it feels like to be gaslighted constantly by someone you love.
The capital letters in the song named 'DaRCy' stand for 'Dead Robins Club'. In this song they sing about all the things they hate about Bruce under the guise of singing about a crazy woman named Darcy. It's a perfect way for them to get out their frustrations and feelings of betrayal at Bruce's actions, and it can be disguised as a break-up song or a song about a really unhealthy friendship.
'Fear in The Well' has the same vibe and sound as 'Fear of The Dark' by Iron Maiden. It's also a funny reference to how Bruce became Batman in the first place, by falling down that Well surrounded by his greatest phobia: bats. Just thought it'd be fun for them to sing this as a jab at their old man, even though he is currently unaware of their band.
'Skin Tight' is a reference to their vigilante suits, but it's actually a sex song. Because every band needs at least one really sexy sex song in their debut album. Like I'm thinking of one those heavy rock songs where the lead singer is doing more moaning than singing and the lyrics are literally about kink culture. (Welcome To The Jungle is the first thing that came to mind, but then I started thinking about Gerard Way moaning. Though I think the sound of the song would be more like what Judas Priest has going on.)
'San Fransisco Party Memories' is supposed to be super nostalgic. It's about the time they spent at Titans tower; the friends they made, the friends they'll always remember. The fun they had and the challenges they faced. It's about underage drinking and dancing on the beach. It's about helping each other with their soul deep pain, and probably not the in the healthiest ways but definitely the most fun kind of ways. It's about longing for those days in the warm sun and cool salty water. It's one of the songs that are super fun to dance to, but when ur said the lyrics really hit.
'Dead Bird Walking' is a Heathers reference to the song 'Dead Girl Walking', but with a much heavier and alternative sound. Could also technically be referred to as a sex song, like it's not as explicit as 'Skin Tight', but it is pretty suggestive. It basically just has that "I might die tomorrow so let's make the most of right now" vibes. (Pushing my theatre nerd Jason agenda here, can you tell?)
'Bats out of Hell' is a reference to Meat Loaf's song 'Bat out of Hell". DeathwalkerS' song has a similar sort of vibe, and it's basically about them all dying and coming back to life and doing crazy cool shit.
'Drywall' is the only unserious song in this album, it's one of those silly ones that doesn't really make sense but the sound is awesome and you just need to dance and headbang to it. Like it makes you need to move around. Same sorta vibe as 'Chic N Stu' by System Of A Down I guess?
'Wake The Dead' is probably the heaviest song on this album. It's about grieving and the pain that comes with that. It's about wanting to wake up all their dead friends and realising that can't always happen, not everyone comes back. They have to at some point accept that they can't bring back the people they've lost. There's also a really really awesome guitar solo in this one.
'Angels of Death' is a song about the the spirits of the watching over the innocent people of Gotham. The song is a story about these guardian angels; these Cryptid-like creatures that watch over Gotham City, making sacrifices to her and protecting her people. It has a really eerie, creepy vibes, like some old legend or Folklore about mystical creatures living in the shadows.
'All We Are (Street Rats)' has those indie rock sorta vibes. Did I get that right? Or is it alt rock? Like the Front Bottoms and McCafferty. 'Twin Size Mattress' and 'Trees' are the songs I'm thinking of right now. (It's those queer undertones they both have that I'm trying to encapsulate here). Some Radiohead vibes here too honestly.
I wish you guys could craw inside my head hear the music I'm imagining right now. I've got serious brain worms right now and I NEED to share them!
Also this is the band's banner for battle of the bands ↓ I made two versions lol (the stars were Steph's idea!)
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Again, please please please go check out @strange-birb I love all their art so much! And they're the reason I came up with all these ideas.
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lovinglin · 6 months
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ALRIGHT, I was looking thru some of my writings and I forgot I never explained in my "Never Love an Anchor" fic about this section in particular.
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I specifically mean the parts in capitals because they actually DO serve a deeper meaning than just being there ominously. But also this section itself has just... so much thought put into it actually.
In the fic (in the moment I've shown), with surface-level understanding, it's shown that Kira was remembering back to the moment when Quirrel promised her he'll come back to her after leaving (the ones in italic). It's when she starts spiraling down, asking herself how long he'll be gone since she can't take being alone anymore (not when everyone else she loved was gone as well).
And it's such a double-edged sword because in the ACTUAL PRESENT conversation they're having (the ones not in italic), she's actually asking him how long he was going to rest in Blue Lake, not how long he'll be gone. But it plays out like it's the same thing (which kinda is) so it HURTS twice as bad for Kira.
Like, here's (technically) Quirrel's POV to how this conversation draws out:
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This is what he sees and hears only. This is the only thing he's aware of, and he's only answering for what's being asked of him.
But in KIRA's POV, it draws out like this:
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It sounds like this in her head, though she's also painfully aware of what's happening in the present.
Like I said, it's a double-edged sword because these questions are what she'd been asking herself all this time with no clear answer from him. And with their present conversation, it feels as though this is the answers he's giving her for it.
It's answers she's been trying to acquire for so long, even if they weren't the words she wanted to hear.
Now... regarding the parts in full caps: these only exist in the same memories that Kira is recalling. It serves as the Radiance talking (she talks in full caps). It serves as those moments to when the Radiance was slowly trying to infect Kira.
Because in those memories- when Kira was left wondering when Quirrel was going to come back, it left her weak and vulnerable to be infected by the Radiance. It's when the Radiance tried manipulating Kira, acting like she was on her side and understood her pain, only to gaslight her into thinking that the Scholar (her lover) was going to be gone forever.
(It's basically how she tried infecting Kira. Trying to convince her that all her loved ones have left her, and that SHE'LL be the one to never leave her.)
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Kira almost believed that, because of course- in the present (and actual moment), she's no longer infected. And these are only memories she's recalling back to.
Now, for the last sentence: "It was HERS. It always was." This actually goes both ways for Kira AND the Radiance.
It was Kira's fault for being "left behind" by Quirrel because she chose NOT to go with him (for reasons I won't disclose for now). I actually even mentioned this in the fic in another section beforehand.
It was also the Radiance's fault because she gaslit Kira into thinking that Quirrel didn't care for her and was going to leave her forever (which, the latter is partially true but anyway...). It was also the Radiance's fault bc this all wouldn't happen if she didn't go and spread the Infection.
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ploncc · 2 years
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i just watched Mizumono for the first time (late to the ballgame, etc. etc.) so i am Not Okay Right Now, but the thing that i don't think i will ever get over with nbc's Hannibal is how the audience (or the show itself?) changes alongside Will.
watching through season one, especially as someone that Doesn't Do Horror, is fuckin scary. it is a crime drama with creepy ass music (Brian Reitzell is a genius), horrifying visuals, and moments of sheer and utter terror that had me leaving the shower curtain open like a paranoid kid again. and for Will, season one is similarly terrifying, between Hobbs, the Ripper resurfacing, being gaslit to the moon and back, encephalitis and the symptoms of it, and getting framed for murder.
But Then Season Two Hits.
and as Will changes, as he figures out Hannibal and himself, the way the show treats violence and tension and all those moments that were given to horror in the first season instead become romantic, philosophical....beautiful. Hannibal changes Will's perceptions, and Will changes the audience's.
And suddenly, looking back at all the horror elements in season one doesn't seem too bad. Gross, sure, but with far more of that same romance, philosophy, and beauty than on the first watch through. Looking at horror in general doesn't seem that bad! It's not just a trick of the editing!! We as the audience have gotten our perceptions, understandings, and habits changed!!!
And 1. that's ingenious, its beautiful, it is SUCH good writing, holy fucking shit is this CLEVER, everyone involved in the making of the show deserves Recognition with a capital R,
and 2. I Will Never Get Over It.
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sage-nebula · 2 years
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I want to make more of a post on this, and perhaps I will when I’m less tired, but I think my main issue with KyoAni and how they’ve written Free! is that they put so much effort into portraying certain things, but then they don’t commit.
The one I’ve talked about the most (and that is nearest and dearest to my heart) is MakoHaru, obviously. MakoHaru is canon in basically every single way. If this were any other series and/or one of them was a girl, no one would deny it. I’m not going to get into all of the evidence in this post, I’ve done that in another post already (although who knows how deeply that post is buried on my blog at this point), and between what we have in the series itself, what we have in the official novelizations, what we have in the audio dramas / tracks, and what we have in creator / director / writer interviews, honestly it’s just too much. We would be here all day. But even though we have not just a mountain, but an entire mountain range of evidence supporting the fact that these two characters are in love with each other, we haven’t had them explicitly define their relationship in the show in ways that other canon couples in other series (e.g. Victuuri in Yuri on Ice for a direct comparison) have. Because KyoAni, for whatever reason, doesn’t want to commit. Even though they put so much effort into writing this relationship, they won’t take the final little baby step needed and just explicitly confirm relationship status. It could be because of censorship, but after Yuri on Ice I don’t believe that anymore. I think it’s more likely because of capitalism, i.e. they want to milk fans of other ships as well so they try to keep everything open-ended to keep stringing those other fans along and not make them feel shut out. Maybe that’s not the reason, I don’t work at KyoAni, but at this point I feel like that’s the most likely explanation. But whatever the case, it’s incredibly frustrating because they’ve already done all the work to make MakoHaru canon, they’ve written that relationship, it’s there, we can all see it, but they just won’t own up and commit to it. And because they won’t commit to it, and instead try to pretend it’s just ~up to interpretation~, I end up feeling like I’m being gaslit by an animation studio. I know that’s a ridiculous thing to say, but that’s how it feels.
(Note before we continue: we are currently in the year 2022. I will NOT engage or even entertain any ship war / debate nonsense. If you feel compelled to argue with me on the above point of MakoHaru being canon in virtually every way—don’t. You will just be blocked because I’m too old and tired for such nonsense. Thank you.)
That said though, MakoHaru is not the only thing that KyoAni has written and refused to commit to, nor is it the one that’s most important to the story even if it’s most important to me. The other big thing they’ve really hammered home yet refuse to commit to is “pro swimming is incredibly bad for Haru and he really shouldn’t be doing it.”
I feel like this one honestly started way back in the beginning of the series, but it really came to light in Eternal Summer and just continued through Dive to the Future and the subsequent movies. Even in the beginning of the series, we could see that competition wasn’t really what was best for Haru; he enjoyed the swim club and the relays, but that’s because he bonded with others via his special interest of swimming. (Yes, special interest. Nanase Haruka is autistic af and that’s not open for debate.) The water is Haru’s special safe place and swimming is how he connects emotionally with other people. A huge theme in Free! is how important it is to have many different bonds with many different people, and swimming with them is how Haru forms those bonds, so he’s not isolated and alone. But being pressured to swim, being timed and having to stick to a regimen, these are aspects that make swimming and the water feel restrictive to Haru, rather than free. But these are also aspects which are crucial to competitive pro swimming. Therefore, even in the beginning we can see that this world is not one that’s really suited to a person like Haru. It’s suited to someone like Rin, who wants to be pushed and timed and honestly is far more of a traditional sports anime protagonist than Haru, but it’s not good for Haru.
And we see this continue and get worse and worse as the story goes on and Haru enters this world even though he really shouldn’t. He has a complete breakdown in Eternal Summer because he’s being pushed into competitive swimming even though he doesn’t want it, and feeling the eyes of the scouts on him makes him feel like he can’t move through the water as easily. The entire reason he decides to go pro is because he sees the big Olympic sized pool in Australia and he wants to swim in the pool, which . . . it’s realistic for an 18yo to make a decision based on something so stupid, but also, it is stupid and a poor decision. Then, in Dive to the Future we see that he’s struggling against opponents like Albert and is being pushed by his shitty coach (can’t remember the dude’s name rn and don’t care to) to isolate and push himself in ways that aren’t good for him, and in the Final Stroke movies this only gets worse, to the point where he:
Cuts off his relationships with his important people, which goes against the themes of this entire show, and
Gets hospitalized like three times in one movie from exhaustion and pushing himself too hard
It could not be more clear that being a pro swimmer is detrimental to Haru’s well-being. It’s not detrimental to everyone’s well-being—we don’t see Rin or Ikuya being repeatedly hospitalized or socially isolating—but it’s detrimental to Haru’s. Yet despite this, he’s still a pro swimmer at the end of Final Stroke pt2. Sure he’s on a rehabilitative hiatus in Hungary, but that’s temporary. He’s still going to be pro even though it’s literally destroying his body. You would think this is supposed to be a deconstruction of sports anime and whatnot, but it’s not. Haru deciding to stay swimming professionally is seen as a good and happy thing. It’s good that he continues to do something that is detrimental to his health and keeps putting him in the hospital and driving him toward breakdowns, and makes him feel uncomfortable back home (because he tells Makoto that if he were in Japan, the media would be hounding him, thus he likes it better in Hungary, showing that pro swimming has yet another aspect that impacts Haru negatively that anyone could have seen coming a mile away because Haru never liked being the focal point of attention like that). We’re supposed to see it as a good thing that Haru went into pro swimming and will continue to swim professionally even though that’s the exact fucking opposite of what KyoAni actually wrote. While capitalism might have been the reason why they didn’t commit to MakoHaru, I can’t figure out what their reasoning for not committing to “pro swimming is not something Haru should do” is. My best guess is that they figure it would go against the genre of sports anime to have Haru, their central protagonist, not continue swimming professionally . . . but ffs, Rin is the deuteragonist of the series and swimming professionally works for him. Focus on him for the pro swimming aspect, and let Haru live his life doing something else that involves water, such as being a marine biologist or helping Makoto coach kids occasionally or something.
This ended up being a much longer post than I intended it to be, but I guess to wrap things up: Free! is a great series that is beautiful in many ways. But I think it’s biggest flaw is that KyoAni put so, so, so much effort into certain things, but then absolutely refused to stick the landing and, honestly, adamantly deny that they were ever trying to aim for that landing in the first place, that it was never their intention despite how obvious it was. And that is just so frustrating to me, and will always be my biggest beef with the series overall.
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augmented3rd · 11 days
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we don't want radical change because we're comfortable
We don’t want radical change
Throughout history, the beginnings of a revolution typically means the destruction of the current system. This destruction however is entirely deceptive. And sometimes destruction might not even be the most appropriate word. Transformation. That’s a better word. 
I hesitate to call it a destruction because it simply isn’t ‘destruction of the current system’. It’s hard to call it destruction when features of that ‘current system’ are used to set up the replacement system. Therefore, transformation.
Whether it’s moving from communism to democracy, there are overlapping features. Nothing is ever truly destroyed. Unfortunately the pseudo-left uses this ‘inability of destruction’ to be complicit in the realities of capitalist realism.
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Our belief that ‘there is no alternative’ is what makes us complicit. I see this increasingly among the North-American pseudo-left.
The pseudo-left cares more about their image than inciting a revolution. They are more concerned about denouncing the bad but reiterating the fact that things can’t change. 
It’s the ‘Do you condemn Hamas?’ questions while men,women and children are being indiscriminately murdered in Palestine.
The concern on corporate profits ‘helping the economy’ while people in the Congo work harrowing conditions so we can all have iPhones.
The neo-imperialist organisations that claim to be beacons of supplying foreign aid and support yet making developing countries reliant on them rather than self-sufficient.
I could easily go on and on.
Because we’re comfortable
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Going back to capitalist realism, a phenomenon that Fisher explores in his book is the apathy that capitalism creates in the consumers consciousness.
He describes this apathy as a ‘mental paralysis’ created by the fear and cynicism of late capitalism.
Now our apathy spawned by capitalism might not look like the ‘drug induced haze’ like in the novels of Philip K. Dick, but it feels that way.
That phantasmagoric haze is not only paralytic but oh so seductive. 
The seduction that breeds our apathy is an underlying feature of late capitalism. Late capitalism gives us entrepreneurial dreams about a life that we could have.
It worked for Musk, Gates, all those others. It might just work for me too. Cue all the youtuber merch and influencer Instagram shops.
We fall into the quicksand of capitalism, being workers for a corporation but our own bosses in our ‘side hustles’.
We end up at a crossroads where the continuous class struggle is not only external but internal.
We fight for better conditions of the working class, but secretly hope for upward mobility. It’s what neoliberal capitalism was designed for.
After all, it’s easier to have a more docile working class when you ensure that the system works sometimes and infrequently. We fail to realise the nature of our subjugation. 
Therein lies the cognitive dissonance. We know we are being gaslit. But the comfort and familiarity of the current system makes us resistant to change. 
Our unwillingness to disrupt the status quo ends up affirming that there is indeed no alternative.
That neoliberalism is a powerful and dangerous thing.
The average North American is a hyper-individualised fool who sees everyone as competition for their own upward mobility.
We are exhausted, depressed, and lonely and those qualities do not make a good revolutionary mass.
So how do we move forward?
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I do not know. I do have my ideas. We must embrace a radicalism beyond the pseudo-left's rhetoric. What form this radicalism takes remains uncertain.
Of course that’s not saying much. Acknowledging this imperative is a mere beginning.
And I’ll admit, this is still a learning curve for me. I will think more, research and communicate with others who are more seasoned on this topic than I. 
I hope to make an update on this in the future.
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rusmii · 2 months
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HAHAHAHSHSKVF IM SO GLSD U LIKED MY AU IDEAS I HAVE A FEW MORE FOR U 😍😍😍
, academic rivals - I LOVELOVE LOVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH RIVALS/ENEMIES TO LOVERS (also very guilty about this one) i just need to see the frustration about "wanting to be the best and ONLY the best but then oh SHIT I think im in love with my rival" (coincidental) library dates too???..... HAJABDJABJS
, angels and demons au - i am sosososo GUILTY ABOUT THIS ONE TOO i NEED more demon!chuuya and angel!reader SOOO BAD?? I'd make him fuck me to hell and back fr. (pun not intended btw) UGH BUT JUST IMAGINE DEMON!CHUUYA CORRUPTING ANGEL!READER???? giggling rn
, fairytale au - the way i would DIE for some cliche fairytale au with a prince!chuuya. i think I've been revisiting too much disney movies lately... specifically stuff like the little mermaid, tangled, cinderella!!! (we hate disney now but they had rlly good movies back then okay....)
, royalty au - BASICALLY FAIRYTALE AU BUT NOT SO CLICHE ANYMORE!!! royalty au can go SO many ways. like arranged marriage, forbidden love, star-crossed lovers, knight and royalty, etc etc! i NEED to be saved by knight in shining armor chuuya!!! (and spoiled ofc)
, enemies to lovers - mentioned earlier with academic rivals, im so horribly disgustingly utterly guilty about this. it's not even funny. ada!reader and chuuya. enemies to lovers shenanigans. fighting. arguing. SLOW. BURN!!!! (i just really love seeing characters building chemistry, doing the little things for each other and eventually realizing they are in love.) UGH I LOVE THIS KIND OF STUFF SO MUCHH I HATE IT 🤧 this can also be enemies with benefits AND the one bed trope too!!!
more coming ur way soon wink wonk
-🍮 tsu ^_^
AAA so sorry this is late bby tsuli😭💔 got caught up in some drama at work recently....
ANYWAYS lots of capitalized words!!
for academic rivals: YESYEYSYES OMFG YESYES. JS IMAGINE CHUUYA WHO GETS EVERYTHING RIGHT JUST BY HIS INTUITION HAVE THIS CRUSH ON YOU BUT GETS CONFUSED ON WHY YOU HATEE HIM SO HE PRETENDS TO HATE YOU BACK😭😭😭 like book smart!reader x intuition smart!chuuya would definitely have this weird situationship that just makes sense
for angels and demons au: TSUTSUTSU?!!?!?!?!? HOW'D YOU PREDICT WHATS ON MY 'TO WRITE' LIST?!?!😳😳 demon!chuuya corrupting angel!reader bc he fell in love at first sight and wanted you all to himselff:((((( i smell possible dubcon and sex coercion/manipulated/practically gaslit or guilt tripped into having sex🤭
for fairytale au: PRINCE!CHUUYA. ROUGE!CHUUYA. KING!CHUUYA. ALL THE FOLKLORE CHUUYA AUS ARE CLOUDING MY BRAINN!!! but yes I would LOVE to do a Cinderella au with chuchu🥸 AND TANGLED OMG. OMG. CHUUYA AS FLYNN RIDER??? PERFECT BROOOO😭
for royalty au: KNIGHT!CHUUYA X PRINCESS!READER???? YO TSU CALM DOWN PLS😭🙏🙏🙏 begging cause now I can't keep the thought of knight!chuuya being assigned to you at a young age and how he slowly falls in love with you as you both grow older :((( all pissy and heartbroken whenever you mention potential suitors but he can never be mad at you for too long when you tell him to make your ugly ass suitors eat shit
for enemies to lovers/enemies and benefits: I ACTUALLY HAD AN ADA!READER X CHUUYA PHASE 2 YEARS AGO😭😭😭 but actually I could make a series outta this...🤔🤔🤔
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arborescent-shadows · 4 months
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I've hated the past year in so many ways but then talking to the same friends again I realize I have changed and am changing and maybe that's good
I have a higher tolerance for intense conflict at work
I am recently traumatized by a new life thing, but also have new emotional fortitude and certainty in myself after being gaslit and failed by the institutional justice mechanisms
I'm learning to navigate filing discrimination claims
I've gotten more resilient in the face of gossip and loneliness
I have less tolerance for people shaming things they don't understand even as a joke
I am better at moving on from people who don't want to see me for as I am or communicate effectively
I'm better at communicating in institutional language
I'm leaning more into nuance even with people I disagree with on moral grounds. While also still taking action.
I'm defining my values and life goals more clearly with a broader view of culture, surviving capitalism, and resisting complacency
I'm more comfortable with taking risks and facing fears for social things tho I'm still working on that
I am reflecting and healing and trying to repair relationships with family members who have done harm that some people would consider unforgivable, but I am building bridges. I am pushing them to grow and they are responding. They are growing too, into a parent I needed 20 years ago and never had. I cannot undo my childhood but they can change now. I am still healing and may not forgive. But at least that is not how they will be forever.
I am grieving the childhood I lost, and the break of trust in unconditional love that I lost. The destruction of the idea that parents are supposed to be safe.
I'm really sad about this but I feel like some people I don't want to be around because their tolerance or open mindedness is lower than I thought. I feel bad saying that because it feels pretentious.
I'm rethinking worldviews and values more in such a different way
I'm not articulating this very well.
It's not all good, overall my dating life is shit, I don't plan to stay where I currently live for much longer, it's for me. I have been profoundly lonely often or separated from community.
I love my home and sometimes I feel like I'm outgrowing parts of it and that makes me want to cry and have it fit like a snug mitten again
I'm not very stable financially or mentally RN cause of low income, stress, grad school, uncertain future plans, etc etc
Changing is sorrowful because I can't undo it. I can't change my perspective back. I can only live with it
In the next year, my whole life will be restructured and idk what it will be. I am choosing excitement over fear.
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nkatr84 · 8 months
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Barbie (2023)
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As I’m writing this, I just saw the Barbie movie. Directed by Greta Gerwig, I knew this movie was going to have a feminist edge because of who directed it. And with each interview and press tour stop I got more and more excited for the movie. (The fashion! Ahh!) And then people were starting to say they sobbed and laughed so hard. I was pumped. I dressed in pink (after a futile effort to sew a dress for the movie, couldn’t get it right). I was ready.
So imagine my confusion when I didn’t laugh and sob so hard. And I’m prone to getting teary eyed at movies. I teared up at the last scene of Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. Like it wasn’t not funny. The Narrator calling out casting Margot Robbie as a Barbie saying she’s ugly was my favorite joke. Ken was the most adorable himbo ever. Weird Barbie is my spirit animal. Yet I didn’t get that emotional. The movie definitely made me think. But I’m trying to figure out why I didn’t get emotional.
It’s definitely not because of the message. Barbie being introduced to feminism as a coming of age story and concluding that to just exist as a human is enough. That you don’t have to be perfect or extraordinary to justify your existence. That’s a great message that I really relate with.
Of course with every movie about feminism people are going to point out the hypocrisy of corporate feminism and how Mattel especially is guilty of this since Barbie’s beginning. That it’s okay to buy this piece of plastic and all her friends and accessories because she’s a feminist icon! She teaches girls they can do anything! They just have to buy stuff to do it!
I watched a video essay that fairly pointed out that Mattel is aware of the poor working conditions of their factories overseas. Mostly filled with female workers. And they typically only give like less than 1% of their profits to enrich the lives of girls. But what I find interesting is I think Mattel has gaslit themselves into thinking that if they throw a little money at the problem, it’ll eventually go away.
And the Barbie movie addresses this! Not only do they allow Greta Gerwig to make fun of their corporation, (including their founder) the Barbies in Barbieland genuinely believe they saved our world and that our lives are just as great as theirs in the beginning. And after returning to Barbieland, Stereotypical Barbie (as she’s called) gets really frustrated and just throws a tantrum falling into depression and resolving to wait until someone else fixes the problem.
Of course the Men Children of the world have complained that the movie is anti-Men with Ken’s story arc which sees him become the antagonist and bring Patriarchy into Barbieland. But it’s only pointing out that the patriarchy hurts men too. Because every girl remembers when boys stopped being nice and started acting like jerks because society tells them that this is how men act. And the Kens in the movie very much act like little boys. Which is why I didn’t mind that Barbie apologized to Ken for hurting him when he did so much more to hurt her. Because at the end of the movie Barbie is growing up but Ken is just beginning his journey. When he grows as a person and figures out who he is, he probably will apologize for hurting Barbie.
Some people complain that the message is too on the nose but only scratches the surface of feminism. But this movie is about Barbie learning about feminism and how it affects her as she grows as a person. That’s intentional. The message has to be spelled out because this is a new concept for Barbie and for some people (young girls and men) watching the movie. Feminism isn’t black and white like the young daughter Sasha thinks it is in the movie. Mostly because of the influence of capitalism as previously discussed. So this movie has to serve as an introduction to feminism while not getting into all the nuances. And it’s so ironic that a movie with a monologue about how hard it is to be a woman because we’re expected to be everything is being criticized for not being feminist enough while being too feminist?
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So, clearly I loved the ideas this movie has. Yet I didn’t get emotional. There are moments that should have got me. Barbie people watching and calling an old woman beautiful. Barbie meeting the ghost of her creator Ruth Handler. (BTW, I was shocked Mattel let them mention Handler’s tax evasion issues not once but twice!) Her creator telling her that she can’t give her permission to become human, she can only warn her what comes with it. The big speech Gloria gives. I resonated with them. I loved these scenes. But they didn’t heal my inner child like it did for others. But why?
Was it because I wasn’t that into Barbie as a kid? I was to a point because I played with Barbies. I remember playing with Barbies I saw in the movie. I watched the Barbie birthday party VHS over and over. I just didn’t have every single one.
Was it because I went with my parents who was just kinda neutral on the movie? Maybe. I would have thought my mom would say something about the mother daughter line. Or my Dad would comment about being a man raising girls. Instead they just thought it was okay.
I guess if anything I feel like Barbie does at the end of the movie. She doesn’t know what to feel either. And the movie says that is okay. That you can take time to figure it out. And that’s Kenough for me.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to write a fanfic about Ken finding out he likes likes Weird Barbie. Because yes I totally ship them dammit…
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bae-owyn · 2 years
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putting this on tumblr as I don’t have twitter or a blog or a newsletter and I don’t have the mental spoons to write it in a way I could actually feature pitch it but
all of us are aware that the world is falling apart right, specifically capitalism, and that the pandemic was the nail in the coffin for burnout and that our collective mental health and abilitity to produce and (under)sell our labour are hanging on by a thread at best
and some of us will have seen articles which try and explain and support this position (and endless more which call everyone lazy, but this isn’t about those, nobody has ever wanted to work, wise up and fix your broken record)
BUT, but, no matter how many tips, workarounds, cheat codes, and sympathy this first type of article delivers, the bottom line remains that there is fundamentally no way of escaping or improving our situation under our current system
to TRULY recover and pull ourselves out of our individual and collective holes, and to get back on track and find something new and reinvent our lives in a way that pleases us, we need paid time off work to rest and explore - and that includes enough money to pay rent, bills, food etc AND have fun and travel; nobody can recover by being plunged into poverty and misery which would inevitably just make everything ten times worse 
we also then need to be able to retrain for free (when we are ready and not a moment before!!) and not have potential new jobs or career paths cut off right from the start because we can’t afford the £60k in postgrad uni fees, or can’t afford to take a pay cut right down to entry level in another industry (and there’s another argument here that minimum wage should be a wage that is thriveable, not just survivable)
I know none of this will ever happen as we don’t live in a modern socialist utopia and never will, but I am truly sick of being gaslit into thinking that ‘a better work life balance’ in a career I hate and that has complelety destroyed my mental health is the be all and end all solution, because whilst work in its current form is still present in that equation there is no balance or hope of restoration
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