#being the optimist i am

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[taylorxtiva]

Why 2024 will be the year of Tiva:

In 11x01, Tony tells Ziva to “count to a million.” Now, of course we assume that he meant ‘count for one million seconds and I’ll be with you.’

But what if the ✨ universe ✨ was telling us that to count to a million, and that it would be an essential number for their love story?

1,000,000 minutes = 694 days

6 + 9 + 4 = 19

Which is the number of years since Tiva first met.

(Season 3 aired in 2005, and 2024-2005 = 19)

This year is also the shows 21st season.

2 + 1 = 3

You know what also makes 3? 1 + 1 + 0 + 1

And when did they first meet?! 👀 3x01!!!

But there’s more!

1,000,000 hours = 41666 days.

11 years = 4017.75 days.

If you remove the decimal point from the bottom number and subtract the top one from it, you get this:

401775 - 41666 = 360109

If we then add the individual digits of the answer together, we again, get the number 19!!!

3 + 6 + 0 + 1 + 0 + 9 = 19

Now, 11 is Tiva’s number.

Ziva left in season 11.

“Past, Present and Future” is the 236th episode overall.

2 + 3 + 6 = 11

And she left again in episode 11 of season 17.

“Jet Lag” (the first time Tiva are in Paris together, and is also an iconic Tiva ep) is episode 7x13

7 + 1 + 3 = 11

Tony is born in 1971. Ziva is born in 1982. There is an 11 year age gap between them. But also, if we add up the individual digits of their birth years, and then add both of those together:

1 + 9 + 7 + 1 = 18

1 + 9 + 8 + 2 = 20

20 + 18 = 38

And of course:

8 + 3 = 11

Which is also the number of years it’s been since we’ve seen Tony and Ziva on screen together.

2013 + 11 years = 2024.

And you know what also equals (20)24?

The equivalent of 11 years.

4 + 0 + 1 + 7 + 7 + 5 = 24

Now, if we go back to the beginning:

1,000,000 hours = 41666 days.

4 + 1 + 6 + 6 + 6 = 23

If we add 24 and 23 we get = 47.

“Kill Ari (Part 1)” is the 47th episode of NCIS, and the episode in which they first meet.

Add those two individual digits together and we get

4 + 7 = 11, which is Tiva’s number.

The episode also aired on 09/20. 9 + 2 = 11

Even further, if we add the digits of 2024, we get 8.

2 + 0 + 2 + 4 = 8

“Truth or Consequences” (which is possibly the most iconic Tiva episode where we all knew they loved each other) is 7x01.

7 + 1 = 8

Which also happens to be the number of years they were at NCIS together.

This episode also aired in 2009.

2 + 0 + 0 + 9 = 11

“Under Covers” is also episode 8 of season 3, which is where they first kiss each other (albeit undercover as Sophie and Jean-Paul).

8 + 3 = 11.

I’m just saying… the universe works in mysterious ways. ✨

UPDATE: I have not recovered from the announcement. I’m not sure I’ll ever recover. Of course, I wrote this post as a joke, because I thought there was absolutley no way it was going to happen. And what’s a bit of harmless clowning fun in the grand scheme of things?

Someone did make a comment though, saying that I give CBS too much credit. In fact, I give them zero credit in this. This is nothing to do with CBS.

This is all to do with Michael and Cote and them being the awesome Captains of the Tiva ship that they are. They are the ones responsible for this, not CBS.

CBS wouldn’t even dare entertain the possibility. I mean… they couldn’t even entertain the possibility while the two of them were on screen for 8 years, let alone anything else. The idea of having a whole spin off show dedicated to their most popular ship on their OG show? That would be utterly absurd!

But, I am perhaps the most excited I have ever been to see my babies back on screen together again, and to give us all the Tiva content we deserve. I might not trust writers because of all that we’ve been through, but I trust them. I trust Cote and Michael. They know what we want, and I have 100% faith that they’re going to deliver.

#oh i WENT somewhere #i’m forever optimistic that my babies will come back to be and be the most adorable and in love couple i’ve ever seen on screen #AM I DELUSIONAL BECAUSE WHY DOES THIS MAKE SENSE? #i shouldn’t be allowed on this app #yes this is my tinfoil hat moment but i’m having fun #this is what being both a swiftie and a tiva fan gets you #count to a million #tiva #cote de pablo #michaelweatherly #anthony dinozzo #ncis #tony x ziva #tony & ziva #tony and ziva #truth or consequences #whiskey tango foxtrot #past present future #in the wind #11x01 #11x02 #17x11 #otp #my babies #ziva x tony #ziva david #tony dinozzo #ziva and tony #ziva & tony #THE MATH IS MATHING

[feydfuckernation]

PJO Fancast (6/?) → Iñaki Godoy as Leo Valdez

Leo looked like a Latino Santa's elf, with curly black hair, pointy ears, a cheerful, babyish face, and a mischievous smile that told you right away this guy should not be trusted around matches or sharp objects. His long, nimble fingers wouldn't stop moving—drumming on the seat, sweeping his hair behind his ears, fiddling with the buttons of his army fatigue jacket. Either the kid was naturally hyper or he was hopped up on enough sugar and caffeine to give a heart attack to a water buffalo. "Anyway," Leo said, "I hope you've got your worksheet, 'cause I used mine for spit wads days ago. Why are you looking at me like that? Somebody draw on my face again?"

#first of all if you haven't watched opla DO IT RIGHT NOW IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD OH MY GOD #secondly i actually really debated this one #because initially i thought luffy has the same adhd poster child energy that percy has #and thought about changing my original percy fancast (that i will reveal at a later date) to iñaki #but then i remebered that heroes of olympus exists and i have decided that until i am proven wrong iñaki godoy was literally born in a lab #to play leo valdez #even tho he's already 20 and probably committed to several seasons of opla and it is INCREDIBLY optimistic thinking to assume that we're #guaranteed to make it to heroes of olympus era #that being said you can pry iñaki godoy leo valdez out of my cOLD DEAD HANDS i love him so much okay #it's been probably ten or so years since i read heroes of olympus but leo was always my favourite character of the legacy pjo characters #my edits #pjoedit #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo fancast #iñaki godoy #leo valdez

[ssaalexblake]

it’s also baffling to me that tumblr, home of the ‘why are white men Still being cast as the doctor’ for So many years now (For you know, like over a decade.) is somehow not appalled that they hired a white dude to be the next Doctor because look okay it’s okay if it’s This white man. 

I mean, I do not consent to acknowledge that they’ve shoved him in there under any circumstance, but my Only need for the casting of the next person was that it was Not a white man, otherwise i didn’t care who it was, so when they “announced” Gatwa I was satisfied (i am hesitant to say they announced it bc it was more like a tiny footnote than an announcement, oh the disrespect) and it took a whole seven days (it was literally seven days. Yes i counted. it was easy since it was only seven days) it was ‘actually sorry no it’s this white dude we’ve already had before did we forget to mention that???’ and it’s steadily gotten worse and worse. 

That This site of all places is not up in arms about both the situation and how it specifically played out is depressing, but also massively and darkly hilarious.  

Especially since i Also remember nobody on this site thought casting Whittaker was good enough but literally going backward to a previous white man is?? This is not even a metaphor about diversity getting worse, they literally looked backwards. 

But, yeah,  tenn/ant with the ‘what the future looks like’ headline is uh... Good???? Not super worrying and ominous? 

I feel like i’ve been dumped in some weird parallel universe by reactions to all of this on here like??? the whole way this was done was appalling, the situation is appalling, but i guess the bbc/disney should get a rousing round of applause for accurately judging that nobody would care about their poor actions if the specific white guy they cast was popular enough that next to nobody would care. 

( and to the ‘it’s an anniversary ep’ thing, they legit could have just set a couple of eps in the past. i don’t mean they travel to the past. i mean just say ‘hey this ep is set during s4!’ and nobody would care. this show does weirder stuff than this every second episode. and it would still be bad, but how they did it is so much Worse.)

#dw shit #literally feel like i live in some wild parallel universe where weird shit is happening #genuinely #i am baffled #while also not being baffled at all #i try to be a realist rather than be cynical or optimistic but you know what #in this case #i honestly expected better of people #guess the cynicism would have helped here #idk i love 13 but i like jodie too and it'd Suck Balls to see her stomp on somebody else down the line #i'd hate it #i'd lose respect for her #but i've never been one for stan culture i guess #any bs on this one gets blocked and totally ignored tbh the level to which i do not care is So High #all i'm saying is #when they do more bs with white guys you Don't like #remember they learnt they can get away with it when nobody cared when they did it the first time #their litmus test has sure given Results

[vampireefangzz]

hang on if Lawrence Gordon is a doctor why didn't he know to break his ankle to slip through the chain

#saw #adam faulkner stanheight #mark hoffman #saw franchise #saw movies #saw 2004 #amanda young #lawrence gordon #or am i being too optimistic with his intelligence

[cherryysundae]

You think I'm weak, don't you?

#i am very against the idea that the way wwx reacts to certain situations is because he chooses to ignore his pain and focus on others #i think while he does do that he is also somebody who is very optimistic #he chooses to not dwell on painful things and instead move forward #of course he hides his pain from others i know he does that but i think reducing him to just that feels wrong #he just knows he has to keep going and he chooses to do it with optimism and hopefulness #biggest example is him saying jc losing his core was the end of him but him losing it would be ok because he would find a way to live w it #in the book him losing control and being so shocked hits me so hard because he never gave up he just couldnt control it anymore #and i think even in the show him breaking down is heartbreaking because that is something he always chooses not to do #but when jyl dies that's it for him #i love him very much #this gifset changed so much while i was making it i hope it's good #wei wuxian #the untamed #the untamed edit #cql #cql edit #my gifs

[wizardnuke]

what's everyones favorite milk alternatives.no mammal milk allowed. because my body hates me

#i need a lactose intolerance test so i can narrow down what's causing issues. i have been wheezing. so . i am not optimistic about it #being lactose.

[dracocheesecake]

My other prediction for KFP 4: the bunny kids are going to massively overstay their welcome to the point of becoming annoying. I can see it, considering how hard they're being advertised.

#kung fu panda #kung fu panda 4 #again I am actually a little optimistic for this movie I'm just being partially silly #but I hope they're more of a one off thing for a quick cheap joke not dragged on throughout the movie #it's just 'cute characters are actually violent and sadistic for humor' is a little overdone

[gorillawithautism]

i share my thoughts expecting to engage in genuine discussion. instead i get people misinterpreting my words, dismissing my feelings, and generally being dickish about it. thanks. very helpful.

#swingset #'yall i think it's okay to just take the win' i never said that wasn't allowed. i said i (me) (one person) (not talking about anyone else) #(literally just me) am having a hard time being optimistic. not that it's a fucking crime to be optimistic about it #just that i PERSONALLY am having difficulty being anything but cynical #and i straight up acknowledged that i was already in a bad mood which was affecting my perception #'im sorry but' <- top ten ways people start sentences when they actually think you're the fucking problem #i just wanted to share my thoughts why is that suddenly bad #why is it bad for me to have an emotional response #go fuck yourself #'i think there's better ways to focus our energy than being upset' DOES THAT FUCKING MEAN IM NOT ALLOWED TO BE UPSET ANSWER QUICKLY #i hate you

[sunshinegat0r]

Seeing their behind the scenes pics just cements them as nakama more and more in my brain ❤️

#c'mon taz and inaki in the pool #taking selfies w sleeping cast #JACOB DRAWING ON THE MASKS this is USOPP BEHAVIOR #mackenyu just being cool af #i am SO OPTIMISTIC FOR THIS SHOW #one piece #opla #one piece live action #Youtube

[nyther]

Witch hat atelier anime talk

I have a feeling we’re gonna be getting a huge update/announcement about the witch hat atelier anime soon. Kamome Shirahama first announced that there would be an anime of witch hat atelier in 2022 on twitter and made a drawing of the girls in Qifrey’s atelier to celebrate. When it was first announced there was nothing about who would be working on it, and we still don’t even know what studio has picked it up… HOWEVER lately on Twitter Shirahama has been making posts that hint towards an anime announcement. On the volume 12 cover there is text that says “anime is in production” (source: Witch Hat Atelier Updates in Twitter) which is notable because in the past there have not been any announcements of the sort on the cover of any past volumes. Another thing, in the past 24 hours or so Shirahama has uploaded character introduction sheets for Coco, Qifrey, and Agott to twitter which is something she has never done in the past. Slightly off topic here, but I am really hoping to see more sheets for characters including Tetia, Richeh, Olruggio, Tartah, and Custas, but my hopes may be a bit high there. Anyways, another thing I have noticed is she changed her banner on twitter from one of her illustrations of Coco and Agott to the celebration drawing she did for the announcement of the anime. I’ve seen lots of people posting about how they are hoping and manifesting that there will be news about the anime in one of the upcoming anime conventions (including me), which seems likely especially since a couple of studios have said they will be having a special announcement at the cons. Now, I may just be over analyzing with all of this BUT I’m still going to be incredibly optimistic and hope that we will get a trailer for the anime/release date soon.

#witch hat atelier #ranting #obsessing #ranting and obsessing #wha #tbna #I am being so incredibly optimistic right now #my hopes are high #tongari boushi no atelier #manifest wha anime news with me 🧘

[cheekblush]

i'd rather be friendless than to constantly have my boundaries disrespected

#i am so frustrated and annoyed rn #at the beginning of this year my ex best friend reached out to me and i cautiously let her back into my life #things were going great but now she turned a harmless topic into a full blown discussion even though i told her multiple times that i no.. #.. longer want to discuss this matter but she kept going & then accusing me of continuing the discussion as well #and tbh i really should've stopped engaging with her messages much sooner but it's so annoying when someone sends you lots of messages with #their opinion although i mentioned several times that i want to drop the topic & then i'm just expected to shut up lol #she didn't respect my wish to move and made a huge fuss about nothing #i stopped replying to her since yesterday bc i really had enough & i should've just left her on read much sooner #but her messages were truly annoying me #her last message now says that we often have different opinions & she thinks she's more optimistic than me & that makes it hard for her to.. #talk to me..... i was so dumbfounded when i read that this morning #our initial conversation was about whether a song is more pop or rnb....... & she twisted that into me being negative lmao #she was so obsessed with being right that she couldn't drop the topic even though i told her how exhausting the convo was for me #and like it's such an irrelevant topic... imagine being that obsessed with always being right 😭 #idc anymore i'd rather be a negative bitch than someone who disrespects others' boundaries <3 #i thought she changed for the better but she's so self-righteous opinionated & stubborn it's awful #i calmly told her that her behavior is bothering me & we easily could've just moved on but she kept going on and on #and she herself admitted that it's one of her flaws that she always has to be right & she's being petty & yet she didn't stop 🤡 #even writing all this down feels so silly to me bc the initial topic was sooooo trivial #am i supposed to feel sorry for thinking a song was rnb rather than pop???? like go touch some grass please #she even sent me a screenshot of the wikipedia page of the song to prove that it's rnb & it literally said synth pop & rnb lol #but i wasn't even mad about that her not respecting my wish to drop the topic & move on even though i said it multiple times really pissed.. #me off though.... like girl just let it go it's not that deep!!! #but apparently i'm negative & pessimistic for having a different opinion than her 🤷🏼‍♀️ #like imagine starting a fight over smth SO IRRELEVANT but i'm the negative one sure lmao #okay i just needed to get this off my chest bc i don't have anyone to talk to about this & it's just ridiculous to me #☁️

[raywritesthings]

Won’t lie, I am incredibly disappointed in Doctor Who’s choice to make Yasmin Finney’s new character be named Rose. The fact that in his post about it RTD defines her as just “another Rose” - like did he really not learn his lesson already?

I don’t care if she’s from a parallel Earth. I don’t care if she’s Rose Temple-Noble, and therefore Donna’s daughter like some people are speculating. I don’t care if it’s just a random fluke (though I doubt that). The fact is, Russell already went down this road in series 3, when he constantly had characters compare Martha negatively to Rose, and in the specials, when he named the Next Doctor/Jackson Lake’s companion Rosita, and had Ten remark “good name”.

Stop. Comparing. Black Women. To. A White Woman.

All people are going to talk about is Rose Tyler, and how this new Rose is like her or not like her, how much they miss the old Rose, how much they hate this new Rose compared to Rose Tyler, why couldn’t the “real” Rose have just come back instead, etc. If she is actually Donna’s daughter as some theorize, then plenty of other fans will just be talking about Donna, and her sad ending, and how her friendship with Rose was so amazing and profound it got through the mindwipe and so on. The point is, they will be talking about two white characters who have already had their time to shine instead of the new Black character, just like in 2007 with Martha’s run. The show had finally gotten to the point where it didn’t need to reference Rose Tyler every five episodes, and now that RTD’s back he’s just swinging the pendulum completely the other way.

Freema did not go through so much racist, sexist abuse for him to just get away with repeating this on another actress. And Yasmin will have it worse, because she is trans. People out there on the internet are already going to be posting or sending disgusting, vile things her way, and reigniting the “Rose Tyler vs New Character/Companion” debate is just going to make it so, so much worse. The fact that in the show’s canon, Rose Tyler treated the only trans woman she ever met (Cassandra, who was an extremely transphobic caricature written by RTD and portrayed by a cis actress) with derision and disgust, calling her “not human” and saying she “would rather die than live like [her]” is either going to embolden some transphobic fans or be desperately swept under the rug by the production team. If I see anyone on tumblr making transphobic or racist commentary about Yasmin Finney, whether blatant or a thinly-veiled dog whistle, I will be blocking on sight.

Some people are speculating that this Rose is going to be the new companion to Fourteen. And as amazing an actress as she is and as awesome as it would be to have a duo of Black actors headline Doctor Who for the first time ever, it would be an awful idea to kick off this brand new era with a companion who shares the same name as a previous one. A lot of folks have said it already, but this obsession with RTD’s first era as showrunner is frankly putting the show’s forward momentum in a chokehold. If people can’t get over the past and enjoy new characters and stories and themes (and they don’t have to enjoy all of them! I certainly haven’t over the years), then the BBC may as well have just canceled the show again. It’s running on the fumes of nostalgia, and David Tennant isn’t going to save the ratings by coming back once a decade. If people refuse to care about any other Doctor, then I say just let the show die.

Yasmin Finney seems genuinely excited to be joining the show and working with RTD, whether it’s for this one 60th anniversary special or for something longer-term is yet to be announced. But she deserved so much better, and Black women and girls both cis and trans deserved so much better, than to be overshadowed by a white, cis woman yet again.

#anti rtd #rtd salt #doctor who criticism #rtd criticism #criticism #would you believe it’s already come to this #i was so excited by last week’s announcement #so hopefully optimistic #that he had learned and grown and was ready to move on #and to treat Black characters with the respect they deserve #i wasn’t bothered that dt and ct were coming back for the anniversary #it’s always been that way #but this has sent my hopes sinking and i am just bracing for the worst again #some people will probably come on this post and say i’m being alarmist #or judging before we know the full story #but i don’t trust him #i was willing to give him a chance to see if he’d learned #but this does not say he has #i wanted to be excited and now i just feel dread #so that’s great #also still waiting for an official apology for his transphobic episodes and not something just thrown out there at a con once #never to be mentioned again #probably be waiting my whole life for that one though #i’ll still give it a try for 14’s sake at least #but don’t be surprised if i quit on this era too #emerson rants #yasmin finney #doctor who spoilers #spoilers

[uraniumglassgirl]

One thing i will always be skeptical about is the idea that trans women can experience “phantom periods”. I dont think thats real. Anecdotally ive never experienced that and im like 13 months on hrt. And also theres no reason why that should be happening. The PMS and PMDD symptoms people experience on their periods are usually due to hormone fluctuations and a trans womans hormones just. Have no reason to be fluctuating like that

#b4 i am accused of transmisogyny i am a trans woman if you could not tell #and like. ive known other trans women to say some wacky shit about how hrt is affecting them #that i think is also just them being very optimistic or placeboing themselves #much luv tho

[aulerean]

pensive

#todayssss song is Warm Enough by Hannah Cole #badabing badabooooom #anyway #this is Orvious! character from a story i wrote when I was a kid #and that I mean like #8 years old #but he's stayed in my head #narrator voice: orvious also deals with being too optimistic and 'too much' for people #the legend of crysales: war of the dragons #I thought it was such a cool name and world #its still very cute #might come back to it #ok no yeah i am coming back to it it makes me so happy you guys you have no idea #like #i can finally kind of sort of make the stuff i wished i could when i was little #its so exciting #and now i have energy? kinda? #its the biggest slay of all time fr #uhhhh ok normal tags #dragons #dragon #illustration #book illustration #orvious #artistsontumblr #artist #art #digital art #my art

[francy-sketches]

No guys you don’t get it grrm announcing the dunk n egg show means he’s confident he can write more of those books soon and he’s not going to do that until twow is done wich means he’s close to getting it done and it’s coming out tomorrow. Trust me

#.txt #in my delusion era ❤️ #no but fr I am actually kind of hopeful that we will get twow soon #idk maybe it’s just bc I’m still a relatively new fan but #idk he seems optimistic? like he’s actually getting work done #he’s finally solved whatever plot point he was struggling with for so long and now all that’s left is the easy part #I know this for I have seen it in the flames #but seriously what’s the use in being like ‘ohh we’re never getting that book’ #you’re just making yourself sad #I don’t think the ‘pretending I don’t care about it so it gets done faster’ strategy is working guys 😭 #btw ​i still haven’t read the sample chapters bc I wanna go in raw. that’s my delusion level #if I do read them you know I’ll have given up hope 😔