my anxiety is off the charts
i want someone who will show up at my place unnanounced, with things that make me feel good, when the day has been filled with too much not good things. like the whole getting a text: “hey I’m outside your place, let me in."it’s pretty cheesy.. & part of my "dream relationship” or whatever. I like it cuz theres just so much “I care about you” in it… i know someone cares when they remember things i like/ dont like aka they listen to me.. they MAKE TIME for me.. especially when I’m not in a good place.. as in . adjustments get made to priorities because they care about me
You wanna know my type of guy? I like a guy who’s lovely, patient, and light hearted. I want a guy who isn’t afraid to be real with me even when I don’t want it. Somebody who is friendly and funny. Somebody who shows love and compassion for all people, even the annoying ones. Somebody who is open minded and ready to learn. I want somebody who treats himself and other people with respect. Somebody who cares for me, and I can care for him. Somebody who wants to relax with me, or be stressed out with me. Because people like this bring my life meaning and give my heart hope.
Everyday a hero
I know this is most likely not making much sense for anyone but myself, but hear me out:
Helping someone you don’t know, maybe just a random person on the streets or a coworker that you haven’t spoken more than 30 words to is like waling down a street and seeing a flower on the sidewalk. It’s a potted flower, but unlike the other flowers on that street, it isn’t blooming or even just glowing a normal green. It’s letting it’s leaves hang downwards and it looks sickly grey just like your coworker on that day. Just imagine walking towards that flower and just speaking and listening to it. You may inspect the leaves and ask for something that went wrong, and you maybe only listen.
Maybe you find out what went wrong, but it is not your place to step in and help that flower. It hurts, seeing somebody hurt but not able to help them. But you don’t have to.
It is not your place tp help, so you can just listen to it, water it in compliments and advice that maybe helped yourself. Maybe a simple smile can be water enough.
And when you walk down that street again after some time, the flower may be looking a bit more green or may be blooming again. I won’t lie, sometimes it may take months of watering or just being there for that flower/person to feel ok again. But seeing a beautiful smile or blossom on that flower can make yourself happy again for a whole year.
Maybe we don’t have to and also can’t help anybody we see hurting, but maybe we can make them a little better by just watering them and walking on.