#ben barnes angst

[pinchofhoney]

yellow lights

gif is not mine, credit to the owner

ben barnes x fem!reader

word count: 2.9k

warning: language, anger, stupid behaviors, angst with a happy end!

summary: Recently, Ben has been burdened with an excessive workload. Despite appearing tired and agitated, he attempted to conceal his feelings. Due to his busy schedule, he could not even take a day off. What will occur when, after a challenging day at work, he returns home and a trivial question leads to an argument that would not typically happen?

a/n: this little piece of my work was my first request ever, so i’m pretty excited to share this with you!! i hope that the level of drama is high enough, @wolfmoonmusic​ hahah. i’d also like to tell you from this place that my mailbox is open and if you want, write freely with your requests<33 the only thing i do not write is smut! (english is not my first language, i apologize for any mistakes in advance). the longer fragment in italics is a flashback!!

You were sitting in the kitchen, at a small table, holding a mug of steaming hot tea between your hands. The watch on the oven pointed quarter to midnight. You sighed quietly and looked around helplessly at the cozy kitchen shrouded in twilight. The only source of light in the room was a small lamp over the kitchen stove. Before leaving on set this morning, Ben promised you that he would come home earlier this time. Just as he did for the last five days, but not once did he manage to keep his word. The last two months have been tough. You hardly saw Ben at all, you passed each other all the time. Filming schedules, interviews, conventions and other press conferences were constantly getting in your way. Even in his free time, Ben was so overtired by meetings with hundreds of people that he preferred to spend hours alone at the piano writing new songs rather than with you. Your birthday was coming up, and you hoped that at least on that one day you would have Ben all to yourself. You ran your hand over your tired face and then pulled yourself up from the chair. I won't sit here like this, you thought. You weren't even sure if Ben would show up at home yet today. You took your phone out of your bathrobe pocket and looked at the way too bright screen, but saw no notification. You reached for the light switch and then went to the upstairs bedroom, being careful not to spill tea on yourself or the floor.

You have been dating Ben for over a year. Every day at this man's side was wonderful and you were grateful for every moment you could spend with him. You met by accident. Literally, by accident. And the whole situation looked like it was taken straight from some romantic book or movie. You thought that in real life such things are unlikely to happen, but it's safe to say that you had an (un)lucky day.

You met in a moderately crowded cafe on the city's outskirts. Met? A better choice of word would be "crashed". Literally. You bumped into him with all the istrenght you could possibly have, because by the fact that you were craving your morning coffee, you were late for the job interview you so desperately wanted. You wanted that coffee, so you had it. At least at first, because after you bumped into the tall stranger, the coffee was everywhere but your paper cup held in your hand. You stood shocked in the middle of the cafe, looking at the dark drink flowing from the man's bright sweatshirt. You closed your eyes, lowering your head and biting your lower lip, afraid of what view you would find when you looked at your new suit. You heard the stranger say something to you, but you didn't pay the slightest attention to it, because you felt like crying when you saw your stained pants.

“Hey” you finally heard, feeling the man's hand on your wrist. You came to your senses from your inner tragedy with a brief glance at the stranger in front of you, then looked around the cafe. The embarrassment came over you. You felt your cheeks begin to turn red, and just then you lifted your head slightly to get a proper look at the man taller than you.

He was handsome. Very handsome, which made you embarrassed even more. His eyes were so dark you could have sworn they were black, and there was a small mole under one of them, adding to his charm. You thought you had already seen him somewhere, but this wasn't the time for another distraction. There was a bedraggled man standing in front of you, your morning coffee was both on the floor and on your clothes, and besides, you could already say goodbye to your dream job. The dark-eyed man didn't seem to be angry at you, you even had the feeling that, seeing your expression and blushed cheeks, he was amused. You immediately began apologizing, reaching into your canvas cotton bag on your shoulder to find tissues.

“I’m so sorry” you began to repeat over and over again, pulling out tissues with a shaking hand. Again, you knew that the man was saying something to you, but the sound of blood pulsing in your ears and the rush of thoughts kept you from understanding his words.

The moment you reached out your hand with the tissue you were holding toward the stranger's hoodie, he stopped it. “It won't work” he said. “Coffee has already soaked into the fabric” he added, seeing your confused expression.

He excused you for a moment and, being careful not to spread the spilled coffee all over the place, walked over to the front counter and asked for some cloth so that you could clean up the mess. After returning to you, he started wiping the floor, to at which you immediately crouched down next to him, saying that you would take care of it yourself. In response, the man only asked you to move over and dealt with the coffee puddle on his own.

You had a moment to get a better look at the stranger and a wild thought suddenly popped into your head. Wasn't it an actor from Narnia that you loved so much when you were younger? You immediately shook your head, amused by your idea. What was he supposed to be doing here?

After cleaning up the coffee tragedy, the man offered to buy you another drink, buying one for himself as well, after which you left the cafe in awkward silence.

“I’m sorry…” you said again, stopping in front of the building, looking hesitantly at the black-eyed man.

“Where were you in such a hurry that you didn't even notice me?” he asked, stopping a short distance from you. You awkwardly scratched the back of your head.

“For a job interview I can already forget about” you replied, moving your gaze to your stained clothes.

Your conversation wasn't long, but you could have sworn it was the most awkward conversation of your entire life. On top of that, you couldn't get rid of the thought that the stranger standing in front of you was Prince Caspian. This is not how you imagined meeting Prince Charming as a little girl.

The moment you said goodbye, you felt a huge relief. You wanted to go home as quickly as possible and forget the whole unfortunate incident. Before splitting off to go your separate ways, the man asked you for your phone number so that you could repay him for dousing him with still-hot coffee. You didn't question his idea, even though you should be the one asking for the number, not the other way around.

You were already about to walk away when you stopped again and turned toward him. “What’s your name?” you asked.

“I’m Ben, and you?” he replied with a bright smile.

“Y/N” you returned the warm smile, then waved him off and left as fast as you could.

You were halfway up the stairs when you heard the sound of a key turning in the lock, which brought you out of your thoughts. Ben. Part of you wanted to immediately run out to greet him, but to be honest you were already tired of his constant absence. Despite living under the same roof and sleeping in the same bed, you missed him. It was ridiculous. You weren't even sure when was the last time you had a quiet moment to yourself.

These last two months, you felt like you were standing at a yellow light warning you of potential harm. Telling you to stop. You felt as if your relationship had stuck and you didn't know if you could make another move.

Hearing that Ben had already entered the house, you headed further into the bedroom. After walking into your room, you placed a mug of tea on the bedside table, climbed under the warm quilt and leaned back against the pillows, reaching for a book you had recently started.

You heard Ben hang around the kitchen. You heard him walk up the stairs and go into the bathroom, where, after a while, he turns on the shower and gets under the stream of warm water. Normally you'd love to join him, but not today. You felt that you had distanced yourself from each other.

After several minutes, right when you were finishing the chapter, Ben slightly opened the door peeking inside.

“Aren't you sleeping yet?” he asked in a softened voice and entered the bedroom. You put the book down on the bedside table. He was wearing the Paddington bear pajamas you bought him for Christmas as a joke, and his wet hair was arranged in a lovely disarray. He didn't look like a forty-year-old. He looked like a boy who needs a hug. At the thought of this, your heart flooded with warmth, and your mood got automatically better.

“No, I was waiting for you” you replied, and when the man took the spot next to you, you snuggled up to him right away. You felt his strong arm wrap around your waist and a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

“You smell like strawberries again” he said, sniffing your hair once more. You laughed and got more comfortable so you could listen to his heartbeat.

“How was it at work?” you asked closing your eyes. In response, you heard Ben sigh.

“Terribly, I can't count how many times we had to repeat scenes because someone got the script wrong” Ben began smoothing your back with his fingertips.

“You all are already exhausted… when will you have some time off?”

“Honestly? Have no idea…” he ran his hand over his tired face, pausing longer on the beard. “On top of that, it turned out that someone misinformed us and the red carpet is earlier than it should be”

“What do you mean by earlier?” you moved away from Ben so you could look at him. You propped yourself up on one elbow.

“The first version was that the premiere is happening next month only, so we still have plenty of time for any preparations. It turned out that the premiere is in two weeks. I don't know what kind of moron at the top got the dates so mixed up” he replied annoyed, sighing loudly.

“Two weeks exactly?” you furrowed your eyebrows. “My birthday is in two weeks… I thought we would spend the day together…” you raised to a sitting position. Ben didn't answer for a long time, wandering his eyes at the ceiling.

“I know, love. I thought so too, but I cannot not show up at the premiere when I play the lead character” he hesitantly shifted his gaze to you.

“Can't you take me with you?” with this one question, you felt how the whole still positive atmosphere between you changed instantly.

“We have discussed this topic many times before, Y/N. I'm going to sleep” he said coldly, turning sideways with his back to you. “Turn off the light, good night”

Yes, you talked about it many times, and you still didn't understand why he didn't want to change his mind. Why he didn't want to show you to the world, why he didn't want to publicly announce that he was dating someone. It has always been the same. Instead of taking part in important moments in Ben's life, you spent your time at home, watching him enjoy himself in pictures with his co-actors. Every time he left, you felt like he was simply ashamed of you. Why? Because you weren't popular?

“Why?” you asked, staring at his back.

“What why?” he asked without flinching to look at you.

“Why don't you want to admit that you are dating someone? That this someone is me?”

“Y/N, I've told you a million times why-”

“And I told you that I don't care about losing my privacy” you interrupted him, raising your voice. “I want to be there with you, Ben. I know how important these premieres are to you, and you don't even give me a chance to enjoy them with you” you watched as your boyfriend sat down and brought his gaze to you filled with both tiredness and irritation.

“Y/N-” he began again, but once again you didn't give him a chance to finish the sentence.

“And bloody hell, it's my birthday. Where were you for Christmas? Where were you on your birthday? You certainly weren't here, with me. Lately you've been celebrating everything with your work friends, and it's perfectly okay if you prefer to spend important dates with them… But I want you to spend my day with me”

“You knew what you were getting into by agreeing to this fucking relationship” he said, getting out of bed. Seeing that you were going to interrupt him again, he pointed a finger at you. “Stop it. Life doesn't look like in the movies, Y/N. Surprise!” he said more loudly with feigned enthusiasm. After a moment, however, he returned to an indifferent expression on his face, driving his dark gaze into you. “You know I just can't suddenly say sorry, I have to go home because my girlfriend would like to spend my birthday with me. We can celebrate them on any other day! It's not that important!”

“Only problem is that lately we don't spend time with each other at all, because once you're home you'd rather sit at the damn piano than with me!”

“That damn piano at least doesn't say bullshit like you” he snarled and immediately left the bedroom.

You heard him coming down the stairs, but after a while nothing came to you anymore. You stared in stupor at the spot where Ben was standing just a moment ago. What did he say? This exchange of words seemed so absurd to you that you didn't even know how to react. You could have navigated the conversation differently. You didn't have to argue. You could have simply nodded at the premiere announcement and kept silent about your disappointment. Did he suggest that you are annoying that's why he prefers to spend his spare time at the piano? You moved your eyes to the bedroom door, frowning your eyebrows at the same time.

It took a few minutes before you decided to get out of bed. With your head full of chaotic thoughts, you left the bedroom and went down the stairs to look for Ben. The entire downstairs was plunged into darkness. You thought he might have left the house, but after all, you didn't hear him do it. Besides, he was wearing teddy bear pajamas, he couldn't have left like that. Finally, you heard a quiet sniff coming from the living room. With furrowed brows, you entered the room, being careful not to bump into any furniture.

“Ben?” you asked in a lowered voice, but received no answer. You reached your hand to the light switch, located on your right on the wall, and turned it on. You noticed Ben sitting by the piano, playing with his hands with his hair falling over his face. He didn't raise his eyes at you. “Ben” you repeated a little louder, approaching him. As soon as you were next to him he raised his head and you noticed his eyes reddened from crying.

“I'm tired” he said in a breaking voice. “Sorry, I didn't mean to say such things… it's totally not true, love” Ben straightened up, looking at you. You took another step, standing between his legs, and took his face in your hands, rubbing the wet mark on his cheek with your thumb.

“I know, it’s okay” you tried to sound warm, but somewhere in the back of your head you still heard the words for which he had just apologized. Ben cuddled up to you, resting his head on your stomach because of the low level he was sitting on. “I shouldn't bring up this topic”

“I'll take you with me to this premiere. I'll introduce you to the whole world and be proud of you. And later we'll go to your birthday party. I'll organize it, take care of everything. Just be there with me” he said when you started petting his hair. “But tell me, are you sure about this? Are you sure you can handle it if people poke their noses into your private life because of me?” he asked, pulling his head up so he could look up to you.

“I am, Ben. One hundred percent sure” you began to smile, unable to believe that you will finally appear at the event you have always silently dreamed of. By the side of your boyfriend. You bent down to kiss him, while he began to stand up to finally change the height difference between you.

“I love you, I'm sorry for the earlier situation…” he assured once again stroking your cheek with his thumb.

#ben barnes #ben barnes x you #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes fluff #ben barnes angst #x reader #angs #fluff

[moonstruck-poet]

Most Ardently

Pairing - Ben Barnes x reader!

Summary - hey! I hope you're doing good. I had a request for ben barnes. so the reader and ben (both actors) have been friends for a long time and ben always liked the reader but the reader was dating someone else. when they broke up ben was there to get through it and slowly the reader also realizes that she like ben too.

Warnings - heartbreak

I really hope you like it anon! So sorry for the wait and tysm for your amazing request<33

You were a dreamer, in search of your dream.

"Here! Look here please!" The numerous cameras flashed as you tried your best to look at every single one of them, smiling widely and hopefully striking a nice pose.

"I swear I'm gonna be blind till I'm 40," James spoke from beside you, tightening his hold on your waist.

You chuckled at his statement, "You'll have me with the similar condition beside you, don't you worry".

But the nervous smile he gave escaped your observant eyes as you were too busy paying attention to the reporters.

"Let's get out of here," you murmured and he nodded, following your lead as you moved to a much quieter and slightly less crowded area. "Much better now".

"Oh definitely," he leaned against a wall and you moved in closer, your hands travelling up to his shoulders as you gently kissed his cheek. "You were awesome out there, I don't think I can ever handle such attention".

"You get used to it with time," you smiled and your eyes caught movement making you turn to see your best friend walking towards you, hands in his pocket and a poker expression on his face.

"He probably hasn't even seen us yet," James said and you agreed.

"I'll just so and say hi to him quickly, yeah?" You excused yourself and he nodded immediately, taking a step back.

"Of course! Go on".

Your smile widened the closer you got to your best friend, taking in his gorgeous look. From the crisp white shirt tucked into ironed black trousers, and topped off with a similar blazer and tie, he looked sharp.

You noticed the exact moment his eyes caught yours amidst the many people and how they softened instantly, a warm glow spreading across his previously detached face. And your heart felt heavy and giddy as you quickly closed the gap.

"Hey!" You greeted first, an ecstatic grin on your face which he seemed to mirror.

"Hello," he replied simply, taking a tiny step closer as his obsidian eyes hungrily scanned your features.

They moved from your beautifully lined eyes, down to the blood-red colour of your lips and back again, seeing the sparkle in them that he longed for every single day. And involuntarily, he couldn't help but take another step towards you.

'Christ,' he whispered in his mind as his loving gaze caressed your figure. 'She's so beautiful,' he thought and an adoring, tiny smile was visible on his face.

The gorgeous dress that you wore just added more to your natural beauty, it was an off-shoulder gown that went down to your heels, making you look like a princess.

He was so taken with searching your face that he failed to process your words and you had to snap your fingers to jolt him back.

"Sorry what'd you say?" He shook his head slightly and focused on your speech.

A small frown was on your lips, "Are you okay? You seem a little closed off?"

"I.." He began, mind racing to find a suitable answer that could satisfy your concern, but at the same time he knew he couldn't get away with lying to you, you simply knew him too well for that.

"I'm tired," he said at last. Thinking that it was the safest reply he could give without telling on himself about his predicaments.

"Anything in particular?" You asked softly.

'Yes,' he wanted to say. 'You'. But of course he didn't. Rather, he couldn't.

"Just the stress of attending countless interviews, I guess. Haven't been able to get a proper rest in days".

You sighed sympathetically and brought him in a warm embrace, understanding that he needed it more than ever. Your hand instinctively ran through his soft hair, smoothing it down comfortingly.

Ben on the other hand felt as though he had reached heaven at your actions. He let out a deep sigh, feeling his tense shoulders lighten before wrapping his arms around your waist.

"You know you can talk to me about anything at any given point of time, right?" You asked softly, not pulling away.

"Mhmm," he mumbled, gripping you tighter without even realising it. He cherished such moments, knowing it was as close as he could ever come.

But then you backed off, making his heart sink a little. What was he even expecting? Of course you weren't going to let him be in your arms forever.

He was not yours.

And you were not his.

And he bit back the pain that slowly seeped into his soul like poison itself. His pleasant expression dropped at seeing James enter the conversation and step right beside you. He swallowed upon seeing the twinkle in your eye, the way they seemed to brighten the moment you spotted your boyfriend.

But little did he know, that sparkle was there whenever he came into your sight too.

"Having a good night so far, Ben?" James asked politely and extended his palm for a handshake.

The man in question shook himself out of his stupor and they shook hands, "Yes, everything's going quite well".

"Join us for dinner?" You asked with a smile while his hands watched the way yours intertwined with James and unknowingly his jaw clenched.

"Yeah you can invite some friends of yours too, we don't mind".

But Ben shook his head, "No I'll- I'll probably head home soon, you two go and enjoy," he gave a rather forced smile and you frowned.

"Ben?" You began, wanting to ask him exactly what was troubling his mind because you were certainly not satisfied with his previous answer.

But he interrupted you by stepping back with every word of his that he uttered next, "No no don't worry about me, you go out and dine in some fancy restaurant, maybe bribe James for your favorite ice-cream," he grinned, his lips feeling artificial as he did so.

===============================

It was a whirlwind of emotions in your brain at the moment, everything so scattered around that it was physically starting to hurt.

You should've seen it though, should've noticed the signs a lot earlier. Only if you hadn't been wearing a blindfold that was already stained red, too bad that your eyes were fully closed.

You were a stranger to breakups, never before having such a serious relationship with anyone. You had obviously heard all about them, but were yet to experience one. And you feared that you were bound to feel it for yourself soon enough.

James had been detatched from a long time, never initiating any moments of intimacy himself and always keeping it short whenever you were the one to start.

You cursed yourself, hating your idiotic, gullible mind so much for simply brushing it off, thinking maybe he was having a problem. Not once did you consider bringing it up because he was just so loving at times. But it was all platonic, something that you mistook for adoration instead.

But now that some force had finally knocked sense into you, you had at last brought up the inevitable topic. And it had led to the present situation.

There he was, the so called love of your life sitting right opposite you on the sofa, holding both of your hands in his and trying to break the news as gently as possible.

"I'm sorry," James whispered, bowing his head down. Probably to avoid looking at your disturbed features, you thought immediately.

"It's me who should be sorry," you apologised, not even understanding the reason for doing so. It just felt the right thing to do at the moment as your mind had gone completely blank.

"Hey no," he shut you instantly, shaking his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for. It- It's all me".

You nodded, your heart feeling numb now as you turned your gaze towards one of the photoframes decorating the wall. It was taken during your earlier dates with him. Gosh you looked so in love.

Your throat burned upon seeing the evident affection in not just yours, but his eyes too. But then, how could it diminish just like that Many answers crossed your mind, almost all of them pointing yourself out as the actual problem.

"Say something please," he urged, his voice filled with genuine sadness

"What am I supposed to say, James?" You chuckled lowly, "Other than the fact that I still love you with all of my heart?"

He winced, your words wedging into his chest, inflicting deep wounds. He wanted, or had atleast hoped it to be easier but who was he even kidding. Of course it was supposed to be difficult, you had loved each other for God's sake.

And how was someone expected to react when their partner told them, right to their face that, 'I don't love you anymore?'

"I'm so sorry, Christ I'm so sorry," he pressed his forehead against the back of your hand and you felt him crying.

And despite the terrible, devastating heartbreak, you still hated to see him cry. He was such a good man that despite his confessions, you still cared, as strongly as you had done before.

"It's not your fault, James," you said after gathering your thoughts. "I'm- I'm actually glad that you told me up front. No no I am-" you cut him off after seeing his disbelieving and ashamed expression.

"-You didn't cheat behind my back and instead opened up about being in love with someone else. And honestly? That would've shattered me," you whispered, giving him a small smile as if it wasn't hurting now.

"As if you're not shattered right now," he sniffed, wiping his cheeks and noticing your expression change.

"Are- Are you already talking to that person?" You changed the topic, sporting a poker face that perfectly hid the storm that was raging inside. Atleast there was some advantage in being an actress.

"Yeah," he said, fiddling with his hands. "We just talked though, nothing more I swear".

And you trusted him without a doubt, because you knew he would never ever do anything scandalous. He simply wasn't that type of a person. And that was one of the reasons that made you fall for him.

And now, that's one of the reasons that made you happy to have had fallen for him.

"Okay then, all the best for your life ahead," you muttered and shifted awkwardly. Feeling uncomfortable in your own home.

He hesitated, looking back and forth between his hands and trying to read your face before leaning in for a hug.

And despite wanting to push him away for the things he did, you merely wrapped your arms around him. Because aside from bring a great partner, he was also a fantastic friend.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered against your hair. "I'm so so sorry, please forgive me if you find it in yourself to do so. You were my first love," he said with a soft smile. "And you made it so beautiful for me".

A nod was all you could give him as he pulled back and pressed a small kiss to your forehead and exiting your apartment.

You watched the door close, heard him enter the elevator and yet you didn't sit down. Instead your grabbed your jacket and a black baseball cap, pulling the hood over your head and stepping out with your phone in the pocket.

All you needed right now was a long long drive, you thought to yourself after getting inside your black Lamborghini.

But the minute the engine spurred on and you started driving, you had somehow, without any destination in your mind had arrived at a park. And you didn't even feel the need to go somewhere further.

Getting out of the, you noticed it to be empty. Maybe the gods did decide to let you a little off the hook, and of course people wouldn't spent their Saturday night sitting in a goddamn park when they could be participating in much enjoyable activities.

And so you pulled off the hood and the cap and settled yourself on a bench, your breath coming out ragged as the pent up emotions started building in your heart.

You gasped, chest heaving deeply as you hands shook and you clenched your jaw. Your vision slowly becoming blurry and you squinted your eyes while pressing your lips together to prevent any sound from escaping.

But the rawness of it all seemed to overpower your restraints and a lone tear did indeed trail down your cheek and out came a small, sob. You bent down, elbows on your knees and palms digging into your teary eyes as your shoulders shook.

"Wh- Why him?" You whispered to yourself and in doing so you were able to taste the saltiness of your tears. And then you were silent before another round of pain struck your sensitive mind, leaving you defeated.

"Hey," you heard a man speak making you jump as you looked up to see your best friend and realisation hit you immediately.

It was a Saturday night... And he always came to this particular park for his usual runs.. Christ...

You couldn't say anything, weren't able to actually and you merely stared while steady emotions fell from your eyes.

And Ben, oh god he was devastated as he took in your vulnerable frame. He could quite literally drop down to his knees because he could see the absolute pain etched on your face and it made him tremble.

"What's wrong?" His voice shook as he did not waste another second to sit next to you. "What the hell happened? Is it something serious? Did anything happen to you? Your family?" Questions flew out rapidly from his mouth and he stopped abruptly when all you gave him was a small smile and his very soul saddened.

He saw the redness of your eyes that were shining like glass, the tip of your nose in the condition as them and the twitch of your lips that held everything but happiness.

He saw them tremble and he lost it.

You were in his arms before you could comprehend what was happening, held tightly against his warm, comforting body. His hands were on your back, pulling you closer and closer while yours were limp by your sides, something that he noticed.

"What happened, love?" His voice laced with every amount of desperation as tightened his grip, almost suffocating you with his worry.

You didn't say anything. Time passed, slowly but surely and fresh tears soon formed in your eyes and you closed them, your arms going around his torso and you cried your heart out on his shoulders.

And he let you.

Not speaking another word in fear that he may interrupt something, not even moving a muscle, afraid that you would pull away. He stayed exactly where he first was right until the very end.

"P- Promise me something," you spoke at last, voice all hoarse and full of raw pain.

"Anything," he replied, not pulling away the slightest and instead pressing his lips against your hairline.

"Please don't leave me," a quiet request reached his ears and he breathed in.

And he had to detatch himself slightly to look right in your eyes as he answered, "I would never, I promise".

But you shook your head, "No you don't understand. It's not that easy," you kept on shaking your head, muttering under your breath and he cupped your cheeks, steadying your gaze on him.

"I will never leave your side," he said, clearly and firmly. "You hear me? I will never ever leave you all alone".

"You will tell me," you began, swallowing harshly as you tried to arrange your thoughts into coherent sentences. "If- If there's something about me that bothers you, or- or ticks you off, makes you mad, you will tell me. If you don't like any habits of mine or some of my preferences, you will tell me".

He looked at you with every ounce of sadness, feeling dejected at the choice of your questions.

"Maybe you find me boring suddenly or- or just not interesting enough, y- you will tell me," you stumbled in your speech and he caught you again.

"Oh darling," he sighed and his cheeks were moist as he listened to your cries and consoled you as best as he could.

"Just please don't leave me," you whimpered, gripping his jacket in your fist.

"I won't, I promise. I promise," Ben repeated as tears slid down his face too and he kept on dropping tiny kisses on the top of your head.

It hurt like hell, seeing the love of his life unravel right before his own eyes. It pained him physically when every little sob had made its way past your lips. Your heart was completely broken, the sharp edges cutting into your soul. But he would fix it, he vowed to himself. He would gather all your fragments and piece them together.

Because if love could cause destruction to such an extent, it could also heal to unbelievable heights.

===============================

It had been two years since the incident and you had recovered properly, now back to your previously normal state with only a small gap in your heart, which you assumed would always be there.

You were proud of yourself to have overcome the struggles and come such a long away. You had drowned yourself in work, accepting every offer and giving your level best in each and every performance.

And it all bore fruit.

Because here you were now, standing on a stage in front of thousands of people to give your acceptance speech for winning a Golden Globe award for the Best Lead Actress.

There was a satisfied smile on your face as you ended your token of gratitude to your fans and supporters. They had been incredible in showeing you with unbelievable love and enthusiasm.

"And last but certainly not the least," you said with the widest grin on your already glowing face, your eyes searching the crowd before landing on a particular person.

"This one's to him," you declared softly. "For helping me get through some of the toughest lows, providing me with all sorts of encouragement to push past the bitter memories and for always, always being there no matter what. This is all for you".

There was a loud round of screams and shouts from the very eager fans who had put two and two together.

"I love you Ben Barnes," you said at last and there followed an ear-splitting, thunderous applause. "Most ardently".

And it was all worth it to see that beautiful, gorgeous smile on his face that you so loved. He pressed his fingers to his lips and blew you a small kiss making your heart swell.

You exited the stage with one final note of thanks and each step you took towards him, you felt as though you had fought down the entire world for him and emerged victorious.

Ben stood up straight, looking devastatingly handsome in his royal blue tuxedo which coincidentally also seemed to match the colour of your dress. His obsidian eyes held every bit of pride there was in the entire universe; they shone like stars, all for you.

"Congratulations," he whispered, words for your ears only as he took your arm and brought you right into his chest.

"Thank you," you pressed your face into his neck, hinting a kiss on the warm skin. If one asked you, there was no way that you could recall exactly when you saw him differently. But there was just this one time when you looked at him and it was as though your universe had literally aligned. Everything just felt complete and so, so right.

Somebody had once said, that someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else. But he hadn't barged in your routine, he was already a part of it that you were yet to see.

There were a million words, but not one language could ever describe exactly what he was making you feel. He did the most ordinary of things like getting you your morning coffee on movie sets, keeping a hair tie on his wrist ready just in case that made your heart skip a tiny beat.

He was that once in a lifetime dream come true for you. That blue crayon that no one ever seemed to have enough of. He was that love that came without warning, the one who had already stolen your heart before you could even give a reply. He stormed inside like he already belonged there, took your carefully built walls down and ignited your very soul on fire.

"Thank you," you murmured, your lips tickling his ear. "For everything".

"I did promise, didn't I? And promises are meant to be kept".

Your love for him, it wasn't at first sight. It formed gradually through each year you had spent together. His personality, his goofy humour, that earth-shattering smile, that piercing gaze, gradually it all became clear that he was exactly the man whom you were looking for.

Meeting him was fate, destiny. Becoming his friend? That was certainly a choice. But falling for him? Goodness you had absolutely no control. Maybe you didn't intend to fall in love but at some point he smiled, that Ben Barnes smile and holy shit you blew it.

"Darling?" His gentle caress brought you back to the present, pulled you awake from your romantic thoughts.

"Yeah?" You could never really get used to him saying that god forbidden word. His British accent paired with that mischievous smirk and you were a goner.

"You pierced my soul. I am half agony, half hope and I too have loved none but you," he finished the quote that he knew was one of your favourites and you couldn't help but laugh with every speck of fondness as you closed the small gap to capture him in a searing kiss.

You were a dreamer, and he was your dream.

===============================

#ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes fluff #ben barnes angst #benjamin thomas barnes #ben barnes #ben barnes ff #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes x best friend #ben barnes x actor!reader

[heaven4lostgirls]

Part two to your general kirigan x grisha!fem!reader please 🙏🏼

Act like you love me

General Kirigan x reader

a/n: hii!! This is a lot longer than I thought it would be however I’m not mad at it!! I hope you enjoy<3

General Kirigan needed to find a way to get you back, but having you understand his plan for power was near the bottom of his list as he needed to gain the trust of Alina Starkov and put his year long plan in motion. His anger was palpable as he saw you helping Alina’s tracker friend through the castle, he was jealous that even if you were just being polite that Mal was able to hear your voice whilst all you ever gave him was a firm nod.

As you passed by General Kirigan you nodded your head and watched as he clenched his jaw, some part of you felt some sick satisfaction that he hated seeing you with anyone else as much as you hated seeing him with Alina.

Talking to Mal didn’t pain you as much as you thought it would, you had both realised that you had both lived at the same orphanage that Alina and him came from only a few years older than him. You two spoke of Keramzin and how odd it was at the Little Palace since you both were never used to such royalty.

Kirigan watched as a smile spread across your face in the middle of an animated conversation with Mal as you both waited for Alina to finish changing in order for him to speak with her.

Jealousy flooded his body as he felt his eyes sharpen into a glare, almost as if you felt his stare you turned around to look at him in an almost doll like confused manner.

His eyebrows furrow as he glares at Mal and suddenly it clicks with you that he’s jealous of the tracker. You almost giggle at how comical that a thousand year old dark heretic is jealous over a mundane tracker.

You realize you could have fun with this and make your way to the ballroom where everyone is conversing and introduce Mal to the important people and make sure to mention that he is ‘important’, to you or to destroying the fold? you never explain and They don’t question you.

Kirigan is slowly losing his patience as he watches you parade Mal around as if you two are together, he resists the urge to have his shadows choke the living daylights out of Mal’s innocent expression.

You’re fighting to smirk everytime you see Kirgans shadows wrap around his clenched fists and Mal seems to notice somethings up before he has to leave to meet Alina, he glances between you and a currently glaring Kirigan and makes the cheeky move to kiss your cheek and scurry away as he watches Kirigan stomp over, abandoning his conversation with someone probably important.

“Y/N” his voice sounds as soft and gentle as the times he murmured it in your ear as he held you face.

“Kirigan” you nod at him before you make a move to walk away from him. His heart broke hearing his last name leave your mouth, it was always Aleksander with him, never Kirigan.

“Don’t- don’t do that y/n, call me Aleksander again, please. Let me be yours again please my love” his voice is calm and collected but only you could hear the underlying desperation under it.

“You chose Alina General, I cannot fault you for that but in doing so you have to know that I will never be second choice to-“

“Stop. You’re never second choose y/n, you are my first, last and everything inbetween. Alina is a means to and end please do not mistake our alliance for anything more than it is, an alliance”

You scoff as you hear the words leave his mouth.

“An alliance Kirigan? Is that what you told Zoya was happening when you would summon me to your chambers at all hours of the night, like a little lapdog waiting at your beck and call, is that what I am to you? An alliance?” You hiss at him, pure venom dripping off your tongue.

“Listen to me y/n, I will love heaven and earth for you, my heart beats for you. Don’t let this be the end of us, you know that I care for you y/n. God dammit I love you!” His voice raises the slightest bit in frustration and it’s enough to have a few guests turn around to see what’s happening but he waves them off with a cool smirk and nod before he turns his dark eyes back to you.

“Love? Kirigan I-“

“Tell me you don’t love me and I will leave you alone”

“I-“

“Tell me your heart does not beat for me as mine does for you, tell me you care not of whether I die trying to tear down the fold. Tell me now”

“I can’t” it’s whispered, soft spoken.

“I love you Aleksander” and suddenly you are being pulled by your arm to the map room where he places you on a table to press his lips to yours.

“You are the reason my blood continues to flow through my veins” he mutters as his forehead leans against yours.

#juliwrites #shadow and bone angst #ben barnes #general kirigan angst #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #aleksander morozova #ben barnes angst #ben barnes x reader #aleksander x y/n #aleksander Kirigan x reader

[love-strawberry]

truly, honestly, completely

summary : in which they're fighting and everyone notices it and tries to get them to make up.

pairing : ben barnes x reader

warnings : language

author's note : <3 nothing but feels,, also i have written a small blurb for this so yeah, check that out!!

tagged : @mrsben-barnes @ellora-brekker @slut4benbarnes

truly, honestly, completely 2.0

masterlist

navigation

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liked by jessie_mei_li, jacktwolfe, freddycarter1 and 3,925,329 others

y/n_ the only man i need in my life <ollie3

83,729 comments

username ummm ben?

username noooo my parents are fighting

username ben didn't like this post, he always likes within an hour

jessie_mei_li men suck anyways,, dogs>>men

username jessie spoke fax

username they both haven't posted anything together for days

amitasuman_ open up!! we're here with ice cream and rom-coms

username yup,,, definitely fighting

freddycarter1 i miss my man, visit soon or i'll kidnap him

username okay but her hair is goals

username ollie is sooooo cuteee

lbardugo sending love and your favourite jam darling

username the cast being besties with her

kittheyounger missing ollie. you, not so much

username love love love love ollie

username ollie is the main character fr

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liked by tchalamet, freddycarter1, kittheyounger and 3,268,975 others

benbarnes 🧃🧃

tagged tchalamet

username timothee and ben. timothee and ben. timothee and ben. timothee and ben. timothee and ben. timothee and ben. timothee and ben. timothee and ben.

username their friendship>>>

username i miss the black brothers soooo much

freddycarter1 forget my mocha and you're sleeping outside

username sirius and regulus 🛐🛐🛐

username y/n didn't like this AND didn't comment

username i miss ben and y/n

username 🤰🤰🤰

danielle_galligan i'm mad at you but bring me a caramel frappe. peasant.

username OMFGJAJSK DANIELLE-

username why my otp no long interacting

tchalamet you seriously need to cheer up, you were the embodiment of black coffee tonight

username ben being sad makes me sad :(

jacktwolfe sooo my espresso??

username the cast having ben bring them all coffee is something that's so personal to me-

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liked by zendaya, benbarnes, archierenaux3 and 3,825,428 others

y/n_ sir- stop making it so hard to stay mad at you please

tagged benbarnes

username YAYYYYY THEY MADE UP

username IM SO HAPPY RN

username LOVE THEM LOVE THEM LOVE THEM LOVE THEM LOVE THEM LOVE THEM LOVE THEM LOVE THEM LOVE THEM

username hshhegxksgshskdgwhxksndj

freddycarter1 finally!! it was hard to listen to him whine about you not talking to him

danielle_galligan thank heavens,, i don't think i could've gone another day with you whining about ben and you fighting

username omg they made up

username i missed them sm

tchalamet mom and dad are back, fuck yea

amitasuman_ please never fight again

username their friends>>>

benbarnes we're never fighting again, just making this clear

-> y/n_ oh, definitely. i think we broke kit and timothee

kittheyounger YES UES TES YES YES UE UEH YES UES

username LMFOABDJSK KIT

username kit fr like us

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liked by y/n_, jacktwolfe, calahan.skogman and 3,825,924 others

benbarnes flowers saved me from another day of silent treatment but darling, i love you. truly, honestly, completely

tagged y/n_

91,424 comments

username AWWWW

tchalamet more like flowers saved your relationship boi, i've seen y/n mad and believe me, you do not want be on the other side of her anger. she would've destroyed you

username lmfao timothee is brutal

username so so so so so so so glad they're not fighting anymore

jessie_mei_li does this mean you'll stop blasting heartbreak songs?

username 🤧🤧

y/n_ be grateful that i loved the flowers

-> benbarnes i'm already grateful for you

username me and who when? when huh?

username wow, im so single

freddycarter1 so happy. now stop blasting taylor swift at 2am. please

username ben is so dramatic

username not her being so pretty like ma'am-

username i wanna be you so bad

archierenaux3 🤍🦋

username i want this why can't i have this why

username otp otp otp otp otp

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#social media au #social media imagines #social media fics #requested #ben barnes #ben barnes blurbs #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes fic #ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes x fem!reader #ben barnes x actress!reader #ben barnes x you #ben barnes x y/n #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes angst #ben barnes one shot #ben barnes social media #fake social media au #fake social media #ben barnes au #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone cast #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse

[papeerings]

My tears ricochet- B.R

Pairing: Billy Russo x Frank’s sister reader

Summary: You thought your revenge on Billy would be easier than it actually is.

Warnings: none angst.

“We gather here, we line up weepin' in a sunlit room, and If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too.”

It was funny when they say than between love and hate there’s a very thine line, I’ve never belived it, I guess that some things you have to live them to belive.

I hate the fact that he knew te truth and how he probably thought how of a fool I was, the fact that he was the reason why my brother can’t at ease, that my newphews were dead, that my sister-in-law is dead it just made me so fucking angry. The fact that I fell for the worst person I could and that the reason why he got interested in me was for knowing were my brother was hiding it just made me sick. But what I hated the most is that I thought that a guy like Billy Russo would fall for a girl like me, I’m so not his type, I’m not rich, I’m not a model, and I have a dignity which are the three feautures that Billy like, quantity over quality, no?

“'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you 'til my dying day”

I think Billy is one of those rare people that you never stop loving, no matter how much time or things happen, you just still love them, and god I hate me for that.

-

It’s been two months since I heard about what Billy did, and all this time I’ve been planning my revenge, I wanted him to suffer so much that the only thing he thinks about is me. I was going to ruin his life, I was going to expose him and take off all the things that he had, his company, his house, his wealthness...It was the day, finally it was the day I was gonna ruin him, I couldn’t wait to see his face. I was on my car going to a party he was hosting and by the end of it I will tell him everythin and I only needed to press a bottom and all his dirty buisness will be send to Homeland. I was wearing a yellow long dress that perfectly fit my curves. When everybody was out I stayed. “Wow, it was quite a nice party” He freezed at the sound of my voice. “What are you doing here?” “Wow two months without seeing each other and this is how you welcome me?” “What are you here for?” “I’m here to tell you that is over, I’m sending all your dirty buisness to homeland” He didn’t answer for a second, amussed, like he couldn’t belive I was standing in front of him. “Your not going to do that” “How would you know that, you are dead to me” “If I'm dead to you, why are you here? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed” I didn´t know how to answer, why was I here? I could have send everything from my house. The answer is because I needed to see him one more time. “I need to destroy you, I need to kill everything you’ve done” I said with pain in my eyes. Honestly I didn’t want to do any of that. I just wanted to run into his arms and that he tells me that everything is going to be fine. “You have to kill me, but it’s killing you just the same” I just stood there and cry. “I’m going to press this bottom and everything will be out” “Why would you do that, you can go anywhere you want, rebuild your life, doing this will not bring back Maria and the kids”  “I can go anywhere I want, just not home” because you are my home I wanted to say. “You know you can do whatever you want, and you can aim for my heart, go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones” I hated that he was right, god I hated it so much. “Well I guess I’ll just look at how my tears ricochet” I said while I pushed the botom.

· ·

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#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo angst #the punisher #marvel #ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes angst #Taylor Swift songs #taylor swift folklore #taylor swift fics #my tears ricochet #sad #marauders

[mystcldydrms]

SOMETHING BETWEEN US - SIRIUS BLACK

prompt: "there is something between us."

pairing: young!sirius black x fem!reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: slight angst & fluff, cursing

notes: thank you for requesting. it took me a while to find a good start to the fic but I got there in the end.

He was your best friend. He was your soulmate. Sirius knew how you felt. You knew how he felt. However, you were scared. You didn’t want to lose him. He was one of the most important people in your life. You knew that trying to push your feelings away was the safest option, as of now, but how long would you be able to keep them locked up?

You tried to tell yourself that you and Sirius would be awful together. But every time a thought like this crossed your mind, you knew it was a lie. He would treat you like a princess. You could laugh together; he would still make fun of you, and you would do the same to him. Whenever the two of you were together, it felt natural. It felt like the universe knew that you were meant for one another, but the more you thought about it, the more anxious you got.

Another precaution you took was to spend as little time with Sirius as possible. It was easier said than done, seeing as though both of you were Gryffindors and you had mutual friends. However, for the last couple of days, you had been quite successful, only catching a quick glimpse of him whenever you entered or exited the Great Hall.

Today you weren’t as lucky as the other times.

You were one of the last students to pack up your things after another lesson on Transfiguration when you turned around and bumped into another person. You instantly knew who it was without even looking at him. Just his smell made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy.

“Sirius, hey.”, you said to him as if it was the first time you’d seen one another all day. Of course, you had seen him walk into the classroom. You had stolen glances at him every few minutes during Transfiguration, and you knew he did the same thing, yet whenever he looked your way, you quickly averted your gaze and looked at Professor McGonagall again.

It felt like a lifetime ago that you had a proper conversation with your best friend, and you had to be honest with yourself, you missed him. You missed everything about him. His smile, his laugh, his touch. But there was still that pinch of anxiety in the back of your mind.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”, Sirius stated matter-of-factly.

A sad sigh escaped your lips as you shook your head, pushing another book inside your bag before you heaved it onto your shoulder. For the first time, in what felt like forever, you looked up into Sirius’ eyes, your heart breaking into small pieces once you noticed the worried expression on his face.

You absentmindedly bit your lower lip as you nervously started to play with your fingers. You knew you couldn’t lie to him. You have known each other ever since your first train ride on the Hogwarts Express. The two of you sat opposite each other. You were a rather shy little girl who wasn’t great at making new friends, however, Sirius was different. He started to talk to you as soon as your bottom hit the seat. He wanted to know everything about you, and although you had only given him one- or two-word answers, he kept talking until you had arrived at Hogwarts.

“y/n”, Sirius whispered your name, snapping you out of your daydream as you felt his hand grab one of yours, trying to make you stop fumbling.

“I don’t know what to say. And I really have to go.”, you announced quietly, pulling your hand away from his before you marched past him, your eyes getting a bit glassy.

“You’re not running away from me.”, you heard him say as he grabbed your arm, preventing you from exiting the classroom and getting as far away from him as possible.

“I really have to get to my next class.” “We don’t have another class until this afternoon, and you know this, so stop running away.”

You had never seen or heard Sirius be this serious before. The only time he had been this way was when he had told you all about his family and the way they had treated him once they found out he didn’t get into Slytherin.

You quickly wiped away the tears that were trying to spill out of your eyes, your hands shaking as you carefully turned around, not yet daring to look into the eyes of the boy you loved.

“There is something between us.”

Sirius confirmed something that the two of you already knew. Everyone knew it. All your friends talked about it. James and Remus once had a bet going on about when you would finally get over yourselves and start dating. James had lost that bet a long time ago. However, neither of them nor any of your other friends had lost hope.

“I know there is.”

You felt Sirius’ hand glide down your arm until he was able to grab your hand, slightly intertwining your fingers with his and this time you didn’t pull away. You even let him pull you closer to where he was.

“I’m just scared.”, you confessed.

“Why? There’s nothing to fear.”

“Yes, there is.”, you stated. “What if the two of us really started dating, and after a while, we notice that it isn’t right and we should only be friends? But we can’t be friends anymore because it would be too weird, and it would break my heart to ever see you with someone else. So, we can’t ever spend time with one another again, and our friends have to choose a side and – “

“y/n, stop. This is madness!”

You looked up at him with wide eyes, your lips lightly trembling. Sirius’ hand left yours, only for him to cup your face, his thumbs gently tracing your cheeks.

“Can’t we start worrying about it when it happens, which it won’t?”

“No, Sirius, we can’t. You know I can’t. I’m not a young, reckless boy like you who always thinks life is a joke. I worry all the fucking time.”

Sirius leaned forward to press his lips gently on your forehead, instantly calming you down. He didn’t always know what to say, but he always knew what to do, and he knew that his touch calmed you down.

Once the warmth of his lips disappeared from your forehead, you opened your eyes again, noticing that the young Gryffindor smiled at you. His eyes were full of adoration for you.

“Okay, let’s talk now.”, he told you honestly.

“If you’re willing to give us a chance, I will be the happiest man in the whole universe.”

“Man? You’re a boy.”

The two of you couldn’t help but laugh, and you immediately knew everything would be alright. You just felt it.

“Let me talk, woman.”

“Alright, go on.”, you said while you wrapped your arms slightly around him.

“Like I said, once we’re a couple I won’t let you go again. You’re my y/n. You have been ever since we first met on the Hogwarts Express, and that won’t change. James already hates me because I talk so much about you. Nothing will ever tear us apart, okay? We both know how to talk; we can communicate with one another if there's ever a problem. You’re the love of my life. There, I said it. And I mean every single word of it.”

Your cheeks were already as hot as they could get, the blush on full display. Why did you ever think you could just turn off your feelings for him? You must have been out of your mind. Sirius was the love of your life. He was the man–boy – of your dreams.

“I love you, Sirius Black.”

“I love you too, y/f/n.”

And there it was, the moment you had been waiting for.

Sirius slowly leaned down, his eyes never leaving yours. You were able to feel his hot breath on your lips before he finally pressed his to yours. His lips felt like magic. You could hear fireworks explode inside of you as you kissed the man of your dreams for the first time. They moved perfectly in sync while Sirius’ hands slid down from your cheeks, only for his arms to wrap around your body, squeezing you gently. You let out a slight giggle against his lips, not once pulling away from him. You knew you had to breathe at one point, but for now, you were okay with just being in the moment.

Until you heard someone clear their throat.

The two of you instantly pulled away from one another, your heads turning to the right, only to find Professor Dumbledore standing in the entryway to the Transfiguration classroom. One of his eyebrows was raised, and an amused smile graced his lips.

“Shouldn’t the two of you be on your way to lunch in the Great Hall?”

You nodded your head one of your hands holding your bag while the other one took Sirius’ hand, guiding him and yourself out of the classroom.

“Of course, Professor. We were just on our way.”, you stated embarrassedly, walking past the Headmaster of Hogwarts, your cheeks still as bright as a tomato.

“See what you did.”, you whisper-shouted.

Sirius only shrugged his shoulder, pulling his hand out of yours before he swung his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close against him as he dropped a swift kiss on the top of your head.  

“What can I say? If you hadn’t ignored me for the past week, we might’ve had our first kiss somewhere private.”

#sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #young!sirius x reader #young!sirius black x reader #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagines #ben barnes imagine #marauders imagines #marauders x reader #marauders x you

[amhrosina]

Sneaky Link (Billy Russo x Castle!Reader)

MASTERLIST // TAG LIST REQUEST

A/N: Nonnie, the way i RAN to my computer to write this. You’re a genius! Here you go! 

Request: Oke so hear me out please...So, Billy Russo and Frank Castle's sister in a backstreet relationship. I know i know it's lame, but i can't imagine Frank's face when he finds out that his sweet-not-so-innocent sister fuck his asshole-but-charming best friend.. Hope you like that idea <3

Summary: Billy finds himself in trouble with his best friend, Frank, when Frank finds out he’s been messing around with you, Frank’s sweet and innocent sister.

(Warnings: Smut at the beginning, oral (fem receiving), reader is called good girl, cursing (lots of cursing), Frank and Billy get into a physical fight with each other (lol), fluffy Billy, not canon obv)

“Oh fuck, Billy. Just like that. Don’t stop.” You moaned, arching your back. Billy’s tongue was currently making you see stars for the third time that evening. The soft comforter on your bed was soaked in sweat, and Billy wasn’t letting up anytime soon. 

“You like that, baby?” He mumbled, circling his tongue around your clit. “Gonna cum again, princess?”  

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, yes.” You breathed, squeezing your eyes shut. Your legs were shaking uncontrollably on Billy’s shoulders, who was somehow smirking and still managing to inch you closer to your release.  

“You’ve been such a good girl today. Cum on my tongue, princess.” 

The moan you let out was unholy as Billy focuses all of his attention on your clit, sucking and licking in perfect tandem. Your body seized as your third orgasm of the day rushes through you, a spark of fiery lust traveling down your spine. Billy doesn’t let up until you physically shove his shoulders away, heart pounding and ears ringing.  

You gulp in air, turning to lay on your stomach. Billy’s soft hands run up and down your spine in soothing strokes.  

“You did so good, baby.” He mumbled into your ear, planting a soft kiss on the back of your neck.  

“You are going to be the death of me, Billy Russo.” You responded, resting your cheek on your folded hands. 

“You love it.” He scoffed, chuckling.  

You push yourself towards the edge of the bed, searching for your underwear in the trail of clothes that started at your front door and ended by your bed.  

“Where are you going?” Billy made himself comfortable, stretching out on the sheets and resting his hands behind his head.  

“I told Frank I’d meet him for drinks. That’s where I was headed when you knocked on the door. And now,” you check the time on your phone, “I’m very late. If you leave before I get back, lock the door behind you.”  

Billy’s frown is evident as you toss articles of clothing around trying to find your dress. You knew bringing up Frank would cause some anxiety, but you really were going to meet Frank.  

“When are we going to tell him?” Billy asked, pointing out the dress that he’d carefully laid on the armchair before ravishing you. 

Billy and you had been messing around for months now, all behind Frank’s back. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of Billy, but Frank had always been protective of you, and you were sure he’d be less than thrilled to find out his best friend had been fucking his little sister for the better half of a year.  

It hadn’t started on purpose, you reasoned. Frank, you, and Billy had been drinking at a bar when Karen had called Frank, frantic about something. Frank had hurried off, leaving you and Billy to your own devices. Three shots later and Billy was pulling your top off in the bar bathroom.  

After that encounter, you’d avoided spending any time alone with Billy, but Billy’s charming and handsome and so good at kissing, so your resolve only lasted a few days. Since then, Billy and you had been sneaking around Frank’s back, stealing glances at each other when Frank wasn’t looking, and sneaking kisses when you could get away with it.  

It started as a casual hook-up, but it certainly didn’t develop as one. You and Billy were together. You cooked dinner for each other, went out on dates when you knew Frank wouldn’t stumble across the two of you, and spent most of your free time at each other’s apartments. He brought you flowers every week and referred to you as his girlfriend to his employees at work. You’d even gone to the Anvil Christmas party, albeit as Frank’s plus one, but you were still there, celebrating Billy’s accomplishments with him.  

“Did you hear me? When are we going to tell him?” Billy’s voice brought you out of your thoughts.  

“I don’t know.” You responded honestly. At this point, no matter how you did it, Frank would be upset that you’d hidden it from him. 

“Do you not want to be with me?” Billy rarely sounded insecure, but in that moment, you could feel the insecurities rolling off him. You moved towards the bed, cupping Billy’s cheeks and kissing his nose.  

“Of course, I want to be with you, Billy. You’re everything to me. I just don’t know how to explain that to Frank without him trying to murder you. And then me.” you added, pressing your forehead to his.  

“We should tell him soon. I don’t like hiding things from him. We’ve always trusted each other.”  

“I know. We’ll tell him soon. I promise, okay? But I really have to go.”  

Billy nodded, kissing your cheek and standing.  

A knock at the door had both of you on alert. You moved to answer it, but Billy stopped you and held out his shirt in his hands. You looked down and realized you were still naked, minus the underwear. A sheepish grin crossed your face as you threw the shirt on. 

You swung open the door, ready to tell whatever solicitor that you weren’t interested, but you stopped short when you exchanged glances with your brother, who looked rightfully concerned. 

“Where the hell have you been? I waited for you for over an hour, and then you wouldn’t respond to my texts or calls, so I thought ‘Oh she must be getting murdered. Then you open the door with this ridiculous smile on your face, like you aren’t incredibly late for something!”  

Frank stormed through the door, and before you can respond, takes in the fact that Billy is standing in your bedroom doorway, shirtless and guilt-ridden. Frank turned and looked at you, glancing down at your shirt and then back at Billy, who is holding his hands up innocently. Frank’s face is stoic, but you can see the rage churning in his eyes. The apartment is so quiet you can hear Billy’s breathing from across the room. The calm before the storm, apparently. 

“’the fucks wrong with you, you bastard?” Frank charged at Billy, who only lifted his hands higher to try and push Frank away from him.  

“Frank, stop!” You yelped, trying to figure out how to stop Frank from killing your boyfriend. Frank slammed Billy into the wall, punching Billy in the jaw.  

“It’s not what you think. I’m not just-” 

“Just what? Fucking my sister? I thought you were different, Billy. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Frank’s fist connected with Billy’s face again, and you let out a yelp as blood starts to trickle down Billy’s face.  

“Frank, stop! It’s not like that! He’s my boyfriend, Frank! We’re not just messing around!”  

Frank freezes, mid-swing, and turns to look at you. He’s very clearly confused at your confession. 

“Your boyfriend?” Frank drops Billy, who slumps against the wall and lets out a wheeze. “What do you mean, your boyfriend?” 

“I mean, he’s my boyfriend, Frank. We’re together. And we should’ve told you, but I knew you’d react just like this, like a fucking psycho, so I didn’t say anything. And I made Billy promise he wouldn’t say anything to you. If you’re going to be mad at someone, be mad at me.”  

“You’re together?” Frank looks between you and Billy, shaking his head. “Like together, together?” 

“Yes, now can I please go put some pants on and trust that you’re not going to pummel his face in?” 

“I need to talk to you.” Frank points at Billy, who stands and wipes the blood from his face.  

“Yeah, alright.” He responds, nodding.  

When you make it to your bedroom, you can hear the muffled sound of Frank speaking. He still sounded angry, but at least he wasn’t actively trying to punch Billy anymore. You searched through your drawers until you found an old pair of sweatpants, slowly pulling them on. You wanted to give Billy and Frank enough time to talk it out, but you didn’t want to leave them alone for too much longer.  

You creeped through the doorway, where you found Billy sitting on your couch with an ice pack pressed into his jaw, and Frank, searching through your fridge.  

“Is everything...good now?” You asked tentatively, looking back and forth between your boyfriend and your brother.  

“Yeah, but I don’t wanna see any of that lovey-dovey shit. I’m not happy about it, but I can’t stop you from being an idiot.” Frank responded, pulling three beers out of the fridge and setting them on the counter.  

Billy gave you a small smile, but grimaced when pain shot through his jaw again. You could already see the bruises blooming on his face.  

“Okay...do you want to watch a movie?” You asked, trying to play it off like this was a totally normal night.  

Frank handed you a beer, then handed Billy one.  

“Sure, princ- Um.” Billy cleared his throat and said your name. Frank rolled his eyes and sat down next to Billy, which left you the seat next to Frank. You tried not to roll your eyes at Frank’s choice of couch cushions and flopped down next to him. It was going to be a long movie.  

When Frank finally left hours later, he sent you a pointed look on his way out the door. He had barely looked at you or Billy the entire night, but you considered it progress anyways. It was better than physically punching each other.  

Billy had stretched his legs out on the couch, propping his head up on a pillow.  

“So that went...well?” He questioned, raising his eyebrows at you. 

“Are you okay? I’m so sorry.” You rushed to his side, trying to get a better look at the bruises forming on Billy’s face.  

Billy waved a hand and shrugged. “If all I got was a couple licks to the face, I call that a win. He’ll come around.”  

Frank did eventually come around, but he certainly took his time. For the first month after his discovery, he wedged himself inbetween you and Billy as often as he could. Whether it be on the subway, in a bar stool, or at your house, Frank always managed to separate the two of you. It was frustrating, but Billy assured you that he would take the time he needed to get over it and come around.  

When Billy took your hand to pull you out of the way of a fast-approaching cab one night, Frank eyed your intertwined hands, and then looked away, pretending not to notice it. You squeezed Billy’s hand in celebration but didn’t say a word. The first time Billy kissed you in front of Frank, he had gotten an emergency call from work and had to rush out of the bar you were sitting in. He had planted a kiss on your lips without thinking about the present company and bolted out the door, leaving you with a very red face.  

Frank had taken a sip of his beer and continued the conversation you were having before Billy’s departure. The small victories were few and far between, but you and Billy were patient.  

Finally, what felt like months later, Frank made a joke about Billy being your boyfriend, and you felt like you could finally relax. Billy clearly made you happy, so Frank got over it. Later that night, you were wrapped in Billy’s arms in your bed, half-asleep and listening to Billy’s voice as he read from your favorite book.   

“You know,” Billy mumbled to your sleeping form, “I hope Frank doesn’t react the same way when I ask you to marry me.”  

He chuckled as you snuggled into his chest, unconscious to the world around you. You and Billy hadn’t spoken about marriage, but he had clear intentions with you. He wasn’t going to let you get away.  

He leaned over and clicked the lamp off, sending the room into complete darkness.  

“Goodnight, my love.” He sighed, kissing your hair. “I can’t wait to say that to you for the rest of our lives.” 

Tag List:

@alexxavicry @hallecarey1 @km-ffluv @purple-amaranthe @raajali3 @emiemiemiii @messymissy @mossexe

#billy russo #billy russo x you #billy russo x castle reader #billy russo x reader #billy russo imagine #billy russo smut #billy russo fluff #billy russo au #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #billy russo angst #the punisher #the punisher nextflix #ben barnes #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel au #marvel smut #one shot #female reader #fluff #frank castle #reader is frank castles sister #requested #amhrosina

[mastermindmiko]

Parties

Pairing: Sirius Black + reader

Word count: 1296 (I think I'm really loving these short and fluffy one shots)

Summary: You and Sirius fool around (not sexually) at a pureblood party

Warnings: light and funny hits and smacks, and nothing else I believe but lmk if you notice anything I didn't

Hey! If you think this didn't completely suck, feel free to check out my masterlist.

"On a scale of one to ten, how likely is it that one of the dads is going to get drunk and go off the hook?"

"Is there a number above ten that I can use?"

"No."

"Then ten, like you even have to ask." I reply with a grin at the absurd question. Every time there's a party one of the dads get drunk and off the hook, last time it was Avery Sr. His wife had to pull him off the table. I ask, "The question isn't if, it's who."

"Avery." Sirius replies looking at the man, smiling, no doubt picturing his red face wife trying to pull him down the table where he's swinging his tie on. I scoff, "Two times in a row? No way. I think Mrs. Avery has him drinking apple juice tonight."

"Well then who do you think it is?" Sirius asks, and I hum. I look around the room, looking for the older men. Mulciber has been drinking a lot tonight, but he's talking to Malfoy which means business so no way it's him. Then I hit the jackpot. I grin and say, "Your father."

"My father? No way, he's never gone crazy ever." Sirius scoffs and leans back in his chair. I lean closer to his side and start to explain as I fix my eyes to Mr. Black. I explain, "He's gone flushed, and he's not talking anymore which means that he knows that he's going to slur on his words, and he's already taken off his jacket."

"I think you're an idiot and that it's going to be Nott." Sirius says, and I punch him in the arm for calling me and idiot, then shake my head. I tut, "I don't think so-" I say in a sing-songy voice, then continue, "He holds his alcohol well."

"No, he doesn't. A few years ago, he was made a mess." Sirius says, but I still don't agree. I grab my drink from the table, and take a tiny sip before saying, "That was because he had signed the divorce papers from his first wife that morning, other wise he never would have drank so much."

"I still think he's a better guess than my father." Sirius says, rolling his eyes. He hates talking about his father, and he is absolutely right, he's a horrible man. I fold my arms and then suggest, "Alright, what do you want to bet on- and not money, merlin knows we both have enough of that already."

Sirius hums in thought, as he thinks of ideas. One of the perks of being in a pureblood family is the insane amount of money carried from one generation to another, one of the faults, the tedious parties, Sirius makes them better though. He clicks his fingers and I can almost see a light bulb go off in his head. He starts, "A kiss-"

"I already give you those-"

"And a date where I control everything." Sirius grins, and I groan, and cover my face with my hands. I groan, "But you're going to pick a shit place, like madam puddifoot's or something other absurd café."

"If you're scared that you'll lose, I can change it." Sirius taunts, and I look back at Mr. Black and he's already loosening his tie. I grin then hold out my hand to him. I say, "You're on."

Sirius takes my hand, shakes it one time with a firm grip, then hauls me close to him to give me a kiss on the cheek. I yelp, and then put my hand on his thigh to stabilize me enough to go back to sitting properly in my seat. I smack his thigh. Merlin knows what my mother would've done if she saw that.

"And if I win, I want full control over your hair for a month." I say, and watch that smirk of his fade away instantly. He grabs his hair, desperately and shakes his head. He says, "No way, that's same value as one date."

"If you're scared that you'll lose, I can change it." I say in a deeper voice, imitating him and saying his exact words. He gives me a glare, but folds his arms and pouts in his seat. I chuckle at his reaction.

The music is quiet, it's only the voices of chatter that really fill up the room. I look all around the room and notice that Regulus is with one of his friends chatting about something, I recognize the friend as Evan Rosier. Sirius taps my shoulder to interrupt my train of thought.

"Wanna get out of here?" He asks, and he already knows my answer because I soon as I say yes, he's already got my hand in his hand. He stands up, and we look around each of us making sure that none of our family members can see us.

Sirius leads me out of the room and into a corridor. This is Nott Sr.'s house, we knew only bits of it. We get out of the room, and Sirius presses me against on of the walls. He kisses me feverishly and I return it with a smile. His hands caress my waist and they go up and down and up and down, driving me insane.

"so this is why you wanted to get out." I tease, and he goes back to kissing me in seconds. I can't say I'm really complaining though. He breaths out in between kisses, "Can't blame me for wanting to spend time with you."

We part for some much needed air and Sirius looks around. He sees the closest door and he goes towards it, pulling me with him. He says, "Now, what could this be? A bedroom maybe?"

He opens the door and we're meet with the clatter of pots and pains and tiny house elves moving around everywhere, trying to get dinner ready. Sirius sighs in disappointment, and he turns to leave, but I break free of his grip when I see..."Scones!"

I trail towards them and grab a few off of one of the plates that the house elves were carrying. I shoved one in my mouth, and it tasted good. Sirius grabbed one from my hands and started eating it himself. I frowned at him and his reply was poking a tongue out at me.

I finish my scone and maybe two more, then I go to sit on one of the chairs. Sirius pouts when he notices there's no chairs. He grabs me, and lifts me up. I start screaming, "Sirius Orion Black, you better put me down right now. You babbling, bumbling, baboon-"

"You're the only good thing my parents have ever done for me, and quite possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me." Sirius says in one breath to shut me up. He always does this, randomly he just spills out bursts of emotion. He feels them at random times, but Sirius has never been good at expressing emotions, so I appreciate them when they come.

He sits down and puts me on his lap. I smile at his words and lean in to press a soft kiss to his lips. Sirius parts abruptly, "Did you just call me a baboon?"

"Oh no, we need some remedies, quickly!" One of the house elves, enter quickly into the room, and the rest of them bustle quickly trying to find a remedy for whomever just got severely drunk out there. Another house elf shouts, "Who was it this time?"

"Mr. Black."

"Yes!" I shout in triumph and get off of Sirius' lap to preform a victory dance. I clap and dance around, and I point at him and grin, "Get ready to have your hair green!"

"No!"

an: maybe I am starting this marauders era for me, I'm really enjoying it too. I think I should keep writing about them for a while + Reggie of course

#harrypotterimagine #hogwarts #harry potter #harrypotter #fanfiction #fluff #gryffindor #harryjamespotter #harrypotterfluff #slytherinreader #ben barnes #young sirius black #sirius black #sirius black angst #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fluff #sirius black headcanon #sirius black imagine #sirius black x reader #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #sirius orion black #sirius x reader #sirius x you #james & peter & remus & sirius #padfoot #siriusblackimagine #siriusblack #sirius #oneshot

[russosafehaven]

Fantastical Felines

Pairing: Billy Russo x Fem!Reader

Content: Childhood Best Friends to Lovers, Reader has a cat, Billy hates cats, Billy is jealous of said cat

POV: Second

BR Taglist: @snowkestrel @judig92 @k-marzolf

~

When you send the first care package to Billy when he was enlisted in Kandahar he didn’t expect it. It was the standard stuff you usually sent, toothpaste, snacks and of course samples of whatever project you were working on. This package however came with a stuffed animal, a black cat. Frank looked at it with a questioning brow. In the letter were photos of two cats, one ginger and one black.

Hey Billy,

The apartments lonely without you so I got some cats. The black cat is named Wilhelma, the feminine version of William. She’s a lot like you, hates everyone except for the ginger kitty. His name is Lucky. I know you hate cats but I miss you so fucking much Billy. It hurts being away from you. On the plus side I may or may not have passed the Bar!! I’m officially a lawyer!! Some of my friends from college have thought about starting a firm together. I think I might, fight for the little guy you know? Fight for kids like you and me. Anyways I added a plush because I know you get lonely, I actually made it myself. She has a little pouch of lavender in her chest to help you sleep. I know how you’ve told me it’s hard to sleep in the heat, I thought it might help. I can’t wait until your deployments over. Oh I’ve also added some photos of the kitty’s, they’ve been keeping me company. Some of the photo’s have Foggy and Matt in them so sorry about that.

Your Love, Y/N

Billy grimaced, you looked so happy while holding your new cats. It made him hurt that you had named one after him. Why couldn’t he be there holding you? You were his best friend and he gave up on you. He looked over at Frank who was snickering.

“You jealous of a cat brother?”

#billy russo #billy russo imagine #billy russo x reader #ben barnes #the punisher imagine #x reader #billy russo fluff #billy russo angst #billy russo x yn

[shawty-writes-a-little]

Wedding theatrics

general Kirigan x fem!reader

word count: 3.1k+

summary: they’re just both SO toxic but apparently married

Warnings: angst, sexual puns, cheating, toxic marriages

Most star crossed lovers don’t see their beloved after the fall for their love. Unlike Aleksander and his lady wife, who were still married. Years of marriage, marriage that began with a tender young love, blissful start which was dragged to the point of knives at each other’s throats. What began from the blossom of chivalrous lovebirds, went from lovers’ quarrels to outright battle enemies.

Their spitefulness of each other made them question if the love they once held for each other was a mere illusion. Aleksander truly felt betrayed by his intuition, being around this long, how could one make such a lovesick mistake of marrying perhaps the most perfervid, torrid, frustrating, soul crushing vulture of a woman in all of Ravaka. Y/n too, felt the same of him yet stupid, wasted the brightest of her youth after him. How could she have known though? The beginning, prime of their relationship and then marriage was all she’d ever wanted. She married the man she of her own choice, unlike those ladies of court who’re married off to some lord of some place. The general was all she’s hoped for and more. However with time, their clashing opinions of councils brought distaste into their married life. Aleksander tried to change that, separated her unit from his entirely so their decisions wouldn’t interfere. It was fine until one worked later than the other, half a fortnight worth of nights were spent sleeping alone. For the time being at least they weren’t fighting the rest of the time they were together. To love someone is to fight to fix the bothers. Until the war took place, it was all blissful again.

Worse battles were fought behind closed doors and council meetings between the lady general and the general himself.

“It is all my fault!” Aleksander exclaimed throwing his hands in air to portray exaggeration “You cannot handle authority whatsoever-your decision making power is like that of an illiterate toddler with a pistol and I have given you a seat at the council!”

“Shut your hole. Shut your hole will you?” Y/n said with a scoff as she crossed her arms not even slightly phased by his insult “You know all this melodrama because I refuse to send off more first army men for you to lead into slaughter? And who do you account yourself for? It is my father’s armies and my house’s role in warfare…I’ve had seats and bigger councils than yours!”

“All you’ve ever had to do for that is simply…be born. Given your skillset and mental capacity y/n, you wouldn’t even make a good peasant.” Aleksander responded, this entire scene unfolded amongst the other men of the council. There to discuss camps and aid management, who stood awkwardly in their places unsure wether to intervene or not.

The others present in that room was perhaps the only thing that stopped the two from giving to the sensual frustration all these arguments built between them. Aleksander spewed insults as his mind raced about devouring her on that very table, that is what generally shut her up. Him as well. “How dare you?!” Y/n seethed and lunged the wine glass in his direction. The red liquid poured over the torso portion of his kefta, y/n meant to drench his face but mistakenly aimed lower. Regardless she put the glass down at the table as he scorned.

“Have you lost your mind?!” He exclaimed, her antics never ceased to surprise him. Holding his drenched undershirt away to keep the wine from seeping further.

“Do not test my patience then” Y/n replied mildly neither of them having least bit of decency to behave affront the other council members. Aleksander’s men and hers has probably seen worse of the two.

“It’s a first army battle, we’ll have the first army men fight it.” Aleksander spoke sternly, he was just biased and before y/n nobody objected to his ways.

“Well then let the first army counsel handle it” she said with a shrug, “get out.”

“Excuse me?” He raises a sharp brow, “you don’t tell me what to do.” not hurt just amused, no one had ever in all his life spoke to him in such manner and he’d never been in a position to not do something about it.

“I am telling you what to do, you are the second army general, get out.” She said putting it simply with no frowned face nor harsh tone she was merely stating it, “Take your men with you, Ivan, come on” she gestures Ivan across the room to leave as well. Ivan, more scared of the lady general than his general was already walking to the door but stopped just a few steps before it receiving a disappointing look from Aleksander.

“You are impossible to reason with.” Aleksander said to y/n sighing deeply as he stormed out of the room.

“Thank you very much for your insight.”

With time and more harsh acquaintances, even that stopped, words like daggers stopped as their exchanges stopped entirely. The two completely separated their councils and meetings. Not to interfere with the other, different timings and finally different chambers. Their heated quarrels turned into mandatory distasteful greetings here and there at galas and dinners.

The two left each other to themselves. Their marriage became a sham held in name, annulling it wasn’t an option given both of them held their societal status to a high regard. Y/n didn’t pay much attention to fixing whatever it is they had, as feisty as lover her husband was she found it difficult to match up to him and fight for them, so she ran from that fight in a different direction entirely. Filling his absence with her ever loved status, her mere sign was an important piece of paper to a lot of lords and noblemen of country, counsels she’d been a cupbearer for her father when she was younger-she had one of her own now. She filled her lover’s absence with the authority and work load of her title and she did not hate it entirely.

Aleksander was rather hurt, constantly trying to mend the effect of flown words in all wrong ways. She wouldn’t account for his flowers after he’d demean her and her opinions at court. All his chivalry would amount to nothing after a point, he thought y/n was coldly unforgiving but he never considered the fact that the repetitive cycle of his actions that hurt her were…repetitive. He hated how she’d lost hope in the two of them, their marriage. The thought that she couldn’t care enough to restore what they once had scorned him from the inside because he’d never found himself in a place where he cared more than the other person did, in a long time. He was ready to resort to anything if she’d look at him with her eyes without any resentment again. Anything to laugh in her presence to cherish her the way she used to let him. Apparently he was forced to drift apart, against his will as she indulged herself in her work and titles. The battles and the country issues, selfishly enough he found the battle of her want inside of him far bigger than the ones going on time and time. Aleksander felt half painted by the love and affection she once showed him, it was as if she never continued. She was the despaired painter of the tapestry that was him.

Resorting to lowest of lows when nothing seemed to phase his wife, he resorted to infidelity. Just to see if she’d care then. If he spent a night or two in the embrace of another woman she’d be in an anguish of wanting him back and make this better with him. He assumed the knowledge of it could upset her enough to realise she still loved him enough to find the thought of him with someone else displeasing just as he would if it was the other way around. A part of him broke when even that didn’t seem to phase her. She didn’t initiate to mend things between them she just became more distant than before. As if him cheating didn’t concern her, the thought that she was that detached to him hurt him to a point of resentment for her. Aleksander emoted in extremes, the sight of her even in hallways irked him. He hated being that insignificant in the life of the lady was who was wholly the moon of his life even in a wretched house of a home he had in her. The windows of that home seemed forever shut for him.

Y/n was fixing the last of arrangements in her absence as she was on a trip to one of the neighbouring states for a wedding of one of the lord’s son. Being so intertwined in her work she generally didn’t attend such events: weddings, christenings, funerals. Not unless it was somebody of importance or close, most weren’t. Connections helped being Ravaka’s politics like all. Aleksander attended neither kind, important, unimportant, he always regarded himself higher than these petty gatherings of life and death. “And if a scroll comes from-“ she was standing by the entrance of the carriage, instructing a servant about something when a figure barged inside right past her as if she wasn’t standing there causing her to turn. Her expression fell at the thought of whatever new tantrum of her husband that was to unfold “What are you doing?”

“What?” Aleksander asked mildly as he took a seat inside, he was cloaked and dressed as though leaving for somewhere like her. “I’ve got a wedding to attend.”

“No you don’t.” Y/n said as she opened the door to the carriage a bit wider and leaned by it, “I am going.”

“And?” He asked raising a brow, the invitation always came on both their names but he never did as much as look at those fancy ones, waste of time.

“I am going so…you’re not. I’ll do well to fill in for your absence there.” She said gesturing him to come out of the carriage. The last thing she’d want was to go to the neighbouring state with him, the wedding was to last a couple of days like it usually did for the Royal ones. She was to stay at the castle, the thought of having to share chambers with him was dreadful.

“The wedding invitation was sent out to: General and family. Now I’m sure they wouldn’t be disgracing me considering an animal such as you my family but well…” he took in a sharp breath sighing in exaggeration.

“What reason do you have to attend?” Y/n asked furrowing her brows as she crossed her arms, “You never attend such things, what was it again? ‘I’m far too important and busy for wedding theatrics’” she said quoting him from a conversation they’d had about this once before.

“I have relations to maintain.” Aleksander gave a sly excuse with a shrug.

“No you don’t, you don’t maintain those, I do.” She said sternly crossing her arms. It was true, y/n attended these theatrics often so the general and his wife don’t seem too egoistical.

“And?” He said again, he knew those short unbothered questions-for-answers really got under her skin.

“Aleksander.” Y/n exhaled “You have no reason to attend, you once called the groom a wee clown with hay for brains.” She reminded him of his unfiltered encounters, he had so many and she remembered almost all given she had to clean up after it.

“Did I now?” He took a pause to remember it, he was sure he certainly did but this ordeal was getting a rise out of her so he couldn’t help but enjoy it “Can’t seem to remember. Besides I haven’t paid my in laws a visit in such a long time…” he trailed off, his ultimate reasoning was that. Around her family y/n was rather reserved with him and not as distant and crass because she wanted them to think she was really happy in the marriage with Aleksander. He didn’t see why he wouldn’t use that to his advantage.

“Oh” Y/n nodded as she put it together, this bastard, “You will be creating a scene there now won’t you…” she scoffed deadpanning herself, if her family wasn’t attending she’d bail right this second. So disappointed yet amused how good he played this. “Saints”

“Are you done with your interrogation?” Aleksander asked as he leaned back in the seat making some space for her to climb in but she rolled her eyes and walked away commanding to have another carriage for her, surely she wouldn’t be riding with him for an entire day worth of journey.

-

The carriages halted at an inn by the countryside, they’d already been riding for eight hours by then. Ivan was seeing to a safe supper being prepared as y/n stood by the small coal fire pit along with Fedyor and Genya. She was telling her red hair something about the countryside winters when David’s face fell to frantic expression, “Lady y/n.” He said with a gasp as he stood to her side trying to keep her from a view “it’s—saints I apologise but don’t look-the general…it’s not the best sight I would suggest-“ David went off as if it was end of the world. Given how reverse psychologies worked y/n and genya both looked back at the moment David told her not to.

Aleksander was only a few steps away, conversing with one of the maids of the inn, his fingers twirling through that girl’s hair, saying something that made her giggle, he too was smiling, as he stood rather too close for a married a man. Regardless y/n didn’t bother stare a moment longer as she made a disgusted face. Not hurt or angry, just mildly uncomfortable like any other person but a wife “what of it?” She said to David raising her brows and averting her attention back to warming her hands by the small fire, Aleksander was not that far off to not notice that his wife noticed and paced to them, “His scandals don’t bother me…” she trailed off with a shrug “What can you do? He is cheap like that.”

“Who is?” The general asked as he walked closer and in front of her by the small fireplace.

“You.” Y/n replied without missing a second.

“Ah yes of course” he said with a nod as David and Genya, shared an awkward glance at one another, excusing themselves with having to help Ivan and Fedyor they left not wanting to be witness the exchange between lady general and general. “Do you think the colourful language you use for me will do well with your mother and father at the wedding?”

“Why are you talking to me?” Y/n asked with a sigh looking away hoping he would leave her to herself as well, she was having a fine enough conversation with genya and David before he ruined it.

“Just curious…if you’d like we can keep this up at the wedding as well. Surely my in laws would be happy to know the state of our beautiful marriage.” Aleksander said tilting her head.

“What is the matter with you?” Y/n asked with a sigh as she looked at him, “Do not create a scene of any sort at the wedding, especially in front of my parent alright?”

“What? I want us to be perceived the way we are what’s wrong with that” he teased, the two often posed as a couple who could stand each other and were remotely in love for such events.

“Do you always have to show your class Aleksander?” Y/n asked as she narrows her eyes at him, “I don’t find this amusing, my father is eight and seventy years old I don’t want him to think his daughter is not in the best marriage possible.”

“Surely they lack of grandchildren will attest to that.” He joked huffing at it, the look she gave him clearly didn’t reciprocate how funny she found it “don’t get mad now we can always change that…” he said in a hushed tone leaning forward.

Y/n felt repulsed by it, whispered swooning and leaning as if she didn’t just see him trying to get it wet with an inn girl. Did he really believe she was another one of his low life subjects. She found the mere thought of intimacy with him sickening given it was something once they held sacred and the moment things went down hill he found it elsewhere. “Bloody degenerate.” Y/n muttered as she attempted to leave but he held her back by her arm, she was stopped from leaving but the glare she shot at his hands holding her bicep, took him a moment to let go off her.

“Apologies.” He said, not clarifying what exactly for. “I shall try and be-“

“Just don’t be the manwhore that you are for three days? Is that difficult?” Y/n asked cutting to no nonsense. He was impossible to deal with and like she mentioned, classless and cheap in her eyes.

“Am I supposed to feel threatened by you?” He asked with a scoff, not minding the particular word she called him, it wasn’t the first time so. When she didn’t reply but just looked at him confidently that she wasn’t just playing about with her words and he knew well enough she could make him more miserable than he already was if she wanted to. He sighed and complied “Fine.”

-

Upon reaching to the wedding castle, the grandeur was already being set up for the three day function when they entered y/n jumped into her father’s arms, her mother too, brother, her young nephew most of the family members she grew up with and only ever got to see in long time gaps. Aleksander just smiled, making small greetings since he had promised to comply. The sight of her, giddy and affectionate to the people she’d meet once a year and yet so rude and distant to her husband she saw everyday brought a dejecting feeling to him. And she looked beautiful that happy, she looked like herself again. Why couldn’t she have that with him? Why couldn’t they?

Once they two were shown their chambers for their time being at the wedding y/n sighed as the servant shut the door behind them, her smile fell. “Wonderful” she sighed as she looked around, a small table, giant balcony and one bed. The addition of cold in the atmosphere simply made it worse for her, same couldn’t be said for Aleksander.

—

HAIIIIIIIIIIIIII this is NOT a series this is just a two parter but the next part will be ANGSTY as fuck with fluff end if the comments grace me with their choice and feedback on this amskskskskksks anyways have a good day

let me know if you want to be tagged in the second part!

#general kirigan x reader #darkling x reader #the darkling x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #shadow and bone show #general kirigan x reader angst #general kirigan x reader smut #darkling imagine #darkling head canons #ben barnes x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #aleksander kirigan

[peterman-spideyparker]

Mr. Russo (Billy Russo x Secretary!Reader)

Author’s Note: I’ve had this fic and other Billy Russo stories in my drafts for ages, and I figured while I was working on other Daredevil and Moon Knight fics, I’d throw in some of these older ones that I’ve never posted. I think the original intention was for this to be longer and a multi-part series, but I don’t like that idea anymore. I cut about a thousand words, and I might include those as a bonus separate part--I’m not sure yet. Enjoy! :)

Summary: Working for Billy Russo wasn’t a challenge like most people would expect. You know how to do your job and how to do it well. One late night of working allows something about your past come to the surface, changing the trajectory of the relationship you share with your boss.

Warnings: Fluff, Billy softening up, angst (mentions of crappy experience in New York and the foster care system/Billy Russo being brooding and sad/hurt and rage/delicious tension), implied smut, cursing, mentions of addiction (drugs/alcohol)

Other Characters: Frank Castle

Word Count: 5,495

Another day in the books. Although everyday at Anvil is never the same, it can get a little monotonous. You answer the phone, respond to emails, draw up contacts, and do whatever Mr. Russo needs.

Oh, Mr. William Russo.

Intelligent, suave, cultured, and the definition of sex on two legs.

He works so hard in his business, and he cares about what he does. Anything that you can do to make his day less stressful, you’ll do it, and that definitely came in handy today, even if it still is a late night for him. You catch a glimpse at the clock on your screen—7:14pm. With a tired sigh, you hear him shuffle some papers around and push his chair out, moving a short distance to slide on his coat. You hear the click of his Italian leather shoes move closer to where you sit, and you smell his expensive cologne in the gentle breeze he brings by. You watch him as he walks with a purpose when he stops in his tracks, turning around to address you. “Do you ever even go home?” he asks.

“Sir?” you ask, unsure where he’s going with this.

“You’re always here before I get here—no matter how early—and you always stay after me. I just don’t get it.”

“I do my job,” you tell him. “It’s that simple. I do it, and I make sure that I do it well.”

“You also deserve a break—a life. Don’t you have friends around to go out for a drink or anything?”

“No, actually,” you admit. “Last friend I made in New York was one from when I got here. She then took 180 dollars from my wallet and ran away, making me scrape by for food for the rest of that week. My family isn’t nearby, either, if that was your next question. Work—this—is all I have, really.” Oh God, do you sound pathetic.

“Where is your family?” Mr. Russo asks, slowly moving back to your desk.

You scrunch up your bottom lip in a frown and shake your head. “I don’t know. I grew up in the system. I’m assuming whoever my parents are, they live in the Boston area, since that’s were I grew up.”

His expression softens to something to one that you have only seen twice before. It’s not quite pity, but it’s deeper than sadness. “You grew up in the system?” he asks softly.

You give a small nod. “It changes you pretty quickly.”

“It does.” His lips part like he wants to say something more, but he presses them in a tight line and sticks his hand in his jacket pocket, his eyes swirling with a mix of emotions. 

“Is there anything I can do for you before you leave, Mr. Russo?”

He blinks a few times before he shakes his head. “N-No,” Billy breathes. “Have a nice night, (Y/N).”

“You too, sir.”

There’s flowers on your desk when you walk in the next morning. How are there flowers on your desk?

“Hello?” you call into the office, sliding pepper spray out of your purse. “Anyone here?” Dead silence. Nothing looks out of place except for the bouquet, and after a quick sweep of the office, you see that you are alone. You look through the flowers and don’t see any card. Logging into your computer, you quickly pull up surveillance to see who delivered these. Your jaw drops when you see Mr. William Russo himself walk in at four in the morning with the same giant vase of flowers to your right. You lean back in your chair, your brain not really comprehending what you just saw. After a few minutes, you move towards the beautiful assortment of white gardenias, yellow lilies, red tulips, and magenta lilacs. You stick your nose to the flowers and take in a perfume of scents that make your chest happy and bring a smile to your face, and that smile remains on your face as you get to work and organize Billy’s day.

“Mornin’,” Billy says with a nod, walking a few hours later, not acknowledging the assortment on your desk.

“Morning,” you respond as he moves closer. “Thank you,” you say just before he enters his office. You don’t need to turn around to know exactly where he is—about a stride and a half from being in the doorway to his office, his right foot mid-step. “They’re beautiful.”

He doesn’t respond, but he takes a minute before he continues his gait into his office. 

The rest of the day proceeds as it normally does: you respond to client emails, answer the phones, do other office work, and hand Billy files, briefing him before his meetings.

“Have a nice night, (Y/N),” he says, adjusting his scarf on his peacoat as he walks past your desk.

“You too, sir,” you say. “And remember you have a 7:30 meeting tomorrow morning at the Four Seasons with Thaddeus Ross to discuss security for the SHIELD weapons conference.”

“Thank you for the reminder,” he says, turning to look at you, flashing you the faintest of smiles. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Well, considering you built this company from the ground up, I think you’d manage.” His smile grows a hair bigger. “Safe travels, Mr. Russo.”

The next few weeks proceed as they usually do, but you are dumbfounded yet again when you walk in Monday, about a month after you found the flowers on your desk.

“Morning,” Billy says, placing a coffee cup on your desk as he walks by. “Sweet cream cold brew, right?”

You turn in your chair and look at him, confusion and surprise written all over your face.

“Yeah,” you say. You notice he has a hot cup for himself in his hands. “You hate Starbucks.”

“I needed some extra caffeine this morning,” he shrugs.

“So the ‘shit-water jet fuel’ is what you were craving this morning?”

He nods, taking a sip of the drink in his hand. “Exactly,” he answers after he swallows. You can tell he still hates the brew.

“Well, thank you for thinking of me,” you say. “If you find yourself needing some more caffeine, just let me know and I’ll make a pot.”

His face says I’ll be taking you up on that in five minutes, but his lips say, “Thanks, (Y/N).”

The next morning, there is a bouquet of blush colored peonies, white gardenias, and purple roses on your desk.

“Vultures today, huh?” Billy says as he comes out of his office and to your desk, placing some outgoing mail in your organizer, adjusting some of the flowers in the assortment of roses, chrysanthemums, and asters. “That phone hasn’t stopped ringing all morning.”

“It’s the political season,” you hum as you shift your gaze upward. “All the big wigs want the best security money can buy. You’ve made it clear that you and your people are the ones for that job.”

“You know how to flatter a man,” he chuckles, shaking some nuts you’re snacking on in his hand before plopping them in his mouth. 

“While you’re here,” you say, picking up a few slips of paper, handing them to him in an ordered fashion. “These are those calls back you were waiting for, these are inquiries from the three biggest politicians running for Senate, this is a message from Frank wanting to know if you’re on for dinner at Karen’s, and these are the Ulrich files you were waiting on.”

“Thank you, paperwork Santa,” he says, moving his gaze to quickly examine what is in front of him. “And here I thought it was gonna be a slow day.”

“Around here? Unlikely,” you grin.

He is about to say something more when he turns his head to the ringing of his direct line in his office. “Sorry,” he apologizes. “We’ll talk more later.”

You turn back to your computer in astonishment. We’ll talk more later? Is this the same Billy Russo that hired you? And does he mean casual talk or work talk? He would have made it clear, wouldn’t he?

“Anvil, this is (Y/N),” you say as you continue typing a contract on your desktop.

“(Y/N), hi,” you hear Mr. Russo say on the other end of the line.

“Is everything alright, sir?” you ask, spinning around in your chair and watching your boss  give you a little wave through the industrial loft windows.

“We’ve been over this, you can call me Billy,” he reminds. “We’ve known each other long enough.”

“Sorry, it’s a force of habit.” You have to suppress a blush. “What’s going on?”

“I just got off of a call about that veteran’s fundraiser,” he says, and you shift to flip through the calendar.

“The one on Saturday night?”

“Exactly. They asked me to present an award and introduce a speaker that night. So in addition to networking and schmoozing, I’m gonna need to do some more things.”

“Let me know what you need to have ready, and it’ll be good to go by Friday night.”

“Actually, I was hoping you’d come with me Saturday. With my upgrade in duties, they gave me a plus one.”

What? “I appreciate the invitation, but I don’t know if I have anything black tie like that,” you say. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll have it all taken care of. So can I take that as I yes?”

“Y-Yes,” you stutter. “And—.”

“Perfect, you’re the best,” he says, having up the phone with a click.

Did your boss just ask you out? Or is this really just a work engagement?

When you come home from work on Friday, you see a black dress bag hanging off a garment rack with black bag hanging next to it. Locking up and putting down your things on the table by your door, you slowly move over to it.

“Told you I had it taken care of,” the note reads on the bag.

“What did you do, Russo?” you breathe, undoing the zipper. Inside, there is a stunning pine green gown. You look at the label and your mouth drops open: Oscar de la Renta. Taking it out of the bag, you see that it has a v-back, but has fabric coming off of each shoulder to give it a kind of cape effect. You feel like you’re moving in slow motion when you dare look over at the jewelry bag on the right next to it, seeing Harry Winston embossed in gold lettering. Carefully, you take it off of the hangar and peak inside, seeing three boxes neatly arranged. Placing it on your breakfast bar, you pull out the large necklace box, opening it to reveal both a sparkling diamond necklace and its matching earrings. Shocked, you pull the other two boxes out and find that they are the corresponding bracelet and ring. As you look down in disbelief, you catch a Louis Vuitton shoe box at the bottom of the rack.

You sit down on the barstool, lightheaded about the luxury that is around you. As if on cue, you see Billy’s contact light up on your phone.

“I’m assuming you’ve seen what you’ll be wearing tomorrow?” he says after you pick up.

“It’s way too much,” you say. “I appreciate it, but all this is more—it’s too much.”

“It fits the event,” he shrugs off. “It’s a ritzy event full of high-rolling investors, contributors, and other people within the top one per cent. Trust me, you’ll fit right in.”

“I just . . .”

“It’s a lot?” You swear he’s smiling like a devil on the other end.

“A hell of a lot.”

“If it makes you feel any better, the jewelry is on loan,” he says. “But the dress and shoes are yours to keep. Oh, and before I forget, you have an appointment to get your hair and nails done tomorrow with Donna at the Marigold Spa. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Before your brain can think to ask him more, he is off the line, leaving you stunned in your apartment. 

“Who is it?” you call from your apartment, responding to the rap at the door.

“Your chariot has arrived,” Billy says through the wood.

“I’m almost ready,” you say, nearly falling over as you try to put on the heels standing up. “Come in! It’s open.” You hear the door open and shut, and the click of expensive shoes against the vinyl floor.

“You know, for someone that works for a security company, leaving the door unlocked isn’t secure,” he teases.

“I knew you’d be over soon and I was still getting ready,” you say. “Just a courtesy.”

“To robbers.”

You chuckle as you successfully gain your footing in one of the shoes. “There’s water in the fridge if you’re thirsty,” you start as you slide on the other shoe, throwing a few last minute things in your clutch, and taking one final look at yourself in the mirror.

“I’m good," you hear him chuckle in a low timbre as you clack your way out of your room. “Thank you, though.”

“Alright, I’m all set to go,” you say as you enter the main living space.

Billy turns toward you and stands stock still. His eyes slowly look over your body from head to toe. It’s as if he’s drinking you in.

“Wow,” he finally says, his dark eyes twinkling in the lights of your kitchen.

“Well, the guy that picked it out has really good taste,” you say with a small grin and a blush rising up from your neck to your cheeks. “Thank you.”

He continues to look at you for a little while longer before he realizes that he’s staring.

“These are for you,” he says, holding out a bouquet of burgundy, cream, and lavender roses. “A little thank you for agreeing to come.”

“They’re beautiful,” you say, smelling them. You move to find a vase, getting the flowers settled before walking back towards Billy.

He puts out his arm for you to take.

“Shall we?”

“I still can’t figure out how you manage to do it,” you say as you walk beside Billy after he schmoozes the last of the big-wigs in tuxedos.

“Do what?” Billy asks with a lift of his eyebrow.

“Work so well with these upper-crusty people. Some of them very clearly just a face at this fundraiser and don’t care the same way you do. I don’t know if I could do that.”

“Unfortunately, that’s just what the business is sometimes,” he sighs. “But then I remember that Anvil gives veterans an outlet when they get home—a legitimate career. Then it makes the schmoozing and pretending to care about their Hamptons houses easier.”

“That’s a great way to think about it,” you say softly. 

“Sometimes that’s all you can do.”

Instead of walking to the direction of your table, Billy leads you to the edge of the dance floor.

“Care do dance?” Billy smiles.

“I can’t promise that I won’t step on your toes,” you say, feeling a blush prick at your cheeks and your ears.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll have the band play something slow.”

You wouldn’t be surprised if his Marine-trained ears could hear how hard your heart is beating. 

“How can I say no to that, then?” you say with a small smile, your mouth suddenly very dry.

Billy takes your hand and leads you in. As if the band knows, the song shifts to something slow. Billy holds one of your hands in his while the other rests on the small of your back, his palm spread wide, securely holding you as you both move across the floor.

“And here I was thinking you had two left feet,” he grins.

“Well, I guess it helps that it’s not a formal ballroom dance,” you blush. Seriously, he has to know how fast your heart is racing right now.

“Is this what you thought you’d be doing with your life?” Billy asks as you slowly move in a circle. “Being a secretary, dealing with executives and government officials, and going to charity fundraisers?”

“Isn’t it every little girls dream?” you smirk, quirking an eyebrow.

He chuckles, twirling you to the music before he pulls you back into frame.

“No, really,” Billy whispers. “What did you want to be when you were younger?”

You think about it, but only briefly. “An author, I think. With all the time I spent in the system, I always tried to figure out how I could get out or what it would be like when I did. I’d just write about it. It moved from that to creating these different worlds and different people that were everything that I wasn’t and everything that I couldn’t be. Those are what made me happy. Scholarships from those stories is what got me through college to get my undergrad.”

There’s something soft in his eyes, tender even, as he listens to you talk about your childhood dream. It’s soul-churning and completely devastating in every sense of the word.

“What about you?” you return. “I’m assuming that the military wasn’t six-year-old Billy’s dream.”

“No, it wasn’t,” he admits. “I wanted to be a baseball player. But there were things that happened when I was a kid . . .” He clears his throat. You’ve touched a nerve.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—.”

“No, it’s okay. Saying that my childhood was shitty is an understatement, but it made me who I am and brought me here. In a way, I think the Marines was the only thing that made sense for me.” He gives you a gentle smile, pushing away the dark cloud that emerged on his face. “And just think: without it, we wouldn’t have met. And I don’t know about you, but our time together makes me happier.”

Your heart stops and leaps into your throat. He has to just mean as a coworker—maybe just even someone who isn’t an ex-Marine that he gets to see to break up his environment. You can’t let your mind go to these conclusions. It’d just be a disappointment, and he’s my boss. Still, you find yourself unable to look away from his hypnotic gaze, the tenderness in his expression making you melt. The song stops and he drops the frame, and you let your eyes flutter a few times so you can adjust your head out of the haze he has placed you in. Billy keeps his hand in yours as you stand, pointing his head towards your table. 

“C’mon,” he says. “I heard the steak was supposed to be amazing.”

“Did you have fun tonight?” Billy asks as you hand him a bottle of water, his elbow cooly leaning against the island.

“Surprisingly, yes,” you admit, taking off the heavy jewels. “I don’t know, I hear fancy fundraiser, and I don’t think ‘party.’”

“That’s cuz you’ve never been to a Billy Russo fundraiser,” he smirks.

“I guess those are the only ones worth going to, then.”

“You know, I’m really glad you came tonight.”

“You are?”

“You sound surprised.”

“Oh,” you blush, but a nagging question starts to echo in the back of your brain. “I-I didn’t mean to. Just tired.”

“Well, if that’s the case, I’ll let you be for the night,” he says with a soft smile, giving you hand a gentle squeeze on the island before he moves away. “See you Monday, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. 

Okay, that’s it.

“Are you only being nice to me because you found out I grew up in foster care?” you blurt as he walks towards the door. There’s no turning back now. “Before, you’d never say more than you needed to to me, and now for five months, you’ve gotten me flowers, you ask about my day, you know my coffee order, and you left me an insanely gorgeous gown and jewelry to wear to a fundraiser that I wasn’t supposed to go to in the first place.” You pause for a moment, processing that you’re probably running a bond that you’ve wanted for a long time, not to mention your job, probably. “What’s changed?”

“You know I grew up in the system?” he asks, his head turned to the side while his back is still to you.

“I do,” you answer. You had done some deep digging when you were applying for the job, trying to find out as much about the company and its founder as possible.

“Then you should realize that I sympathize with you. Pouring your life into something to move yourself as far away from your past as possible.”

“What I’m really hearing is that all of this from the last few months has just been pity,” you say bitterly, and you try to push away the feeling of tears stinging at your waterline. “And if that’s what this job has turned into, then I don’t need it. I know my worth, and it’s more than that—than whatever this is.”

Your statement causes him to spin around so fast you think he’s gonna get whiplash. He strides over to you so quickly you almost can’t process it. He drops his keys to the ground before kissing you hard, one hand on your waist as the other holds onto the back of your head. He almost knocks you off your feet, but his hands on your body assure that it can’t be a possibility. Your hands rest on his shoulder as your lips move against him, kissing him back just as urgently. His beard tickles a little, but you’re not moving in a way that makes it scratch. When Billy finally pulls away, you’re both left panting for air.

“It’s not pity,” he clarifies. “It’s admiration. I had always thought you were some brown-noser with daddy issues, but you always had this integrity and determination. And then . . .” he trails, his eyes intent and glassy. “I know that drive you have, and that fear of being a disappointment. Hell, that’s how I got here. I wanted to show you that we’re not that shit that happened to us. I wanted to show you that I care.”

“It’s a hell of a way to show it,” you say quietly, looking at his big brown eyes. “I, um . . .” you swallow hard and let emotion contort your face, reeling your feelings in before you continue. “Every time someone finds out, they treat me differently. I really didn’t want you to be one of those people. You might not have thought so, but the way you treated me before made me feel like I finally had a place, y’know? I had a purpose to do something. That I was needed and wanted.”

“I know,” he nods.

“I guess I’m just confused why now.” 

“You’ve been my secretary for four years. You know things about me that I don’t even know all the time. You know things about me that you don’t need to know, but you care enough to. I’ve always wanted to know those things about you, but . . . I’m not great at communication with people that—.” He stops to clear his throat, furrowing his brows together. “The only good relationships I have are with Frank and Curtis, and that’s because we’ve been through hell and back with and for one another. I didn’t know where to start with you, because you just come in and you’re like this . . . force to be reckoned with. I guess that finding out we had something in common made me think I could know you better.”

Billy tucks some stray hair behind your ear as he looks at you. “I don’t want to go back to what this was before,” he says softly. “I like this. Having a friend. Connecting with someone. And . . . I like to think this has the potential to be more than that. Than friends.” 

“Well, I guess I need to know if you kiss all your friends like that.”

A small smile spreads across Billy’s face. “Just the ones that use lemon shampoo and look good in designer dresses.”

“I’m not fired, am I?” you whisper. “Because I think a kiss like that is some kind of HR violation.”

“Not if you don’t want to be,” he responds. “I will say, though, the job market is tough right now.”

“Is this something we can do?”

“I’m willing to make it work if you are.”

You nod your head. “Let’s try it.”

Billy leans back in for a kiss, this one more gentle that the last, but just as deep. Your arms wrap around him and settle on his back, and you feel him lift you up slightly as he pulls you into him.

“We’re gonna do this slowly,” he breathes, brushing his nose against yours, his chocolate eyes staring into your soul.

“Okay,” you quietly agree. “Slow.”

“We have different definitions of slow,” you hum as Billy presses a kiss to the back of your naked shoulder.

“Trust me, I wanted to, but I have a thing for brunettes in designer dresses,” he says, dragging his hands down the bare curves of your body in post-sex bliss. “And it looks just as good on the floor as it did on you tonight.”

You laugh as you roll onto your back, your head resting on his shoulder. 

“Hi,” he says with a dreamy look on his face.

“Hi,” you say, returning his gaze. He leans down and presses a soft, tender kiss to your lips before resting his cheek on the crown of your head. You lay like this in blissful silence as his fingers play with yours, the pale moonlight trickling into your bedroom through the curtains. You think he has fallen asleep—and you almost have—when he shifts a little on the mattress.

“Did you ever think of finding them?” he asks quietly. You know exactly who “them” is.

“I did find them,” you say. “I found out all about them, too. A little after I told you about growing up in the system, actually—curiosity got the best of me.” You think about what you know, and the silence weighs heavy in the bedroom. “My father was an alcoholic, and my mother used all kinds of drugs. They had a short and nasty relationship and split before I was born. My dad worked on the docks, showed up one day drunk, hit is head, and drowned. Based on his obituary, I was six when he died. My mom sobered up around that time, got married, and lives in Cape Cod.” You feel hot, angry tears sting at your waterline. “Two kids, and a freakin golden retriever.”

“And I’m guessing you don’t want to reach out?” he asks carefully.

You scoff. “No. Didn’t want me then, won’t want me now. I’m a part of that past that she worked to forget. I don’t want to go near her with a ten-foot pole. Besides, if she wanted to know me, she’d find me. She’d find a way. And she hasn’t. That says all I need to know.”

Billy wraps his arm around you and pulls you close, pressing a long kiss to your forehead.

“She’s missing out on the best person that I know,” he whispers.

Too emotional to respond, you snuggle into him and nuzzle your head into the crook of his neck.

“Have you?” you whisper. “Found yours?”

“I found my mom,” he swallows. “She chose meth over me—she safe-havened me. From then on it was group homes.” He’s quiet for a moment. “I think I’ve made my peace with it all. Can’t change it. But it made me who I am, and I’m okay with who I am.”

You don’t ask any more onto the subject. Instead, you snuggle in closer to him.

“For what it’s worth,” you breathe. “I really like who you are, too.”

Billy turns so you’re huddled together chest-to-chest, his arms holding onto you tightly, kissing your forehead before tucking your head under his chin. You fall asleep to the sound of his beating heart.

You practically jump out of your skin when you feel a pair of arms loosely wrap around your middle.

“Jesus, Billy,” you sigh. “You really don’t make a sound if you’re not wearing Italian leather shoes.”

His laugh comes out as a hum as he places a kiss on the back of your neck, right on a bundle of nerves he found out about last night.

“I woke up and you weren’t there,” he murmurs into your skin. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” you grin as you turn the waffle maker.

He kisses your neck again before resting his chin on your shoulder. “I thought the guy was supposed to make breakfast.”

“Not in my house,” you say, running your fingers through his hair as you move to flip some bacon. “My place, my job to make you some food.”

“Fine,” he sighs, moving from you, but not before placing a light smack on your rear. “But I make the coffee.”

“You want any eggs?” you ask.

“Nah,” he says, pouring coffee grounds into the filter. “This all is more than enough. I don’t usually get to enjoy this part.”

“Well, if we’re gonna make a habit of this, it’s something you better get used to.”

You finish making breakfast in harmony, exchanging sections of the newspaper as you eat.

“Wow,” Billy chews, taking a sip of his coffee. “You’re destroying the crossword.”

“It’s a talent,” you smirk as you pause before filling in the rest of your answer. “Now, is it ‘ei’ or ‘ie’ in Steinbeck? I can never remember.”

“I guess you got cocky too soon,” he smiles.

“Yes, and I’m big enough to admit it. Which is it?”

“I’ll tell you, but it’ll cost ya.”

“Oh?” you say as his hand slides into mine, silently inviting you to get up and sit in his lap. You do, and his free hand squeezes your thigh.

“It’s gonna cost you a kiss,” he hums.

“Mm, you run a hard bargain, but I think I can afford that,” you smile, biting your lip as you press your mouth into his. It’s tender, and even with coffee in your systems, there’s something sexily sleepy about the embrace.

“It’s ‘ei’,” he breathes, his lips brushing against yours before placing another kiss on you lips.

“Thank you,” you say, filling in the squares and placing a soft kiss on the freckle just below his eye. His hand then gently holds your cheek, bringing your lips down to his. The kisses grow more needy, and just after he adjusts you so your legs straddle his lap, his phone starts to ring. Reluctantly, he pulls away and looks at his phone.

“Shit,” he hisses before he answers. “Hey, Frankie.”

“Brother, where are you?” you hear Frank ask through the phone.

“Yeah, no, I’m on my way,” he sighs. “I just got a little held up this morning.”

“Mm, yeah,” you hear him chuckle. “Where’d you find this one?”

Billy looks at you with warm, sparkling eyes. “I think she found me.”

“And the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes that day.”

“Yeah, shut up,” he chuckles. “I’ll be there soon.”

Billy hangs up to avoid any more snark over the line from his friend, but not before kissing you once more.

“I didn’t realize it was this late,” he sighs. “I’m sorry. I gotta go.”

“I know: ten o’clock runs with Frank, every Sunday. And if you go by the office, you have some extra workout clothes there so you don’t have to run in a tuxedo.”

“Nothin’ gets by you.”

“Nope,” you smile, popping the ‘p’.

You get up from his lap and begin to clean up the table while Billy moves back to your room to get his clothes.

“I will trade you one dress shirt for one very soft and fluffy robe,” he offers when he comes back into the kitchen, your Hello Kitty robe hanging from his finger.

“I guess I accept,” you sigh dramatically. You slide Billy’s shirt off of your body and hand it to him as he slides the robe onto your shoulders.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asks, adjusting the collar on your robe.

“Tomorrow,” you nod. “Have fun with Frank.”

“Somethin’ tells me I’d be havin’ more fun here.”

He leans down to kiss you, repeatedly procrastinating his delay with each punctuation of his lips.

“Okay,” he kisses. “I’ll see you—.” Kiss. “—tomorrow morning—.” Kiss. “—bright—.” Kiss. “—and—.” Kiss. “—early.”

You giggle as he takes you in for more kisses. You pull away from his reach, only to be swept back in for one final kiss.

“I really gotta go, now,” he sighs, tucking hair behind your ear.

“I know. I’ll see you soon.”

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#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo fluff #billy russo angst #billy russo smut #billy russo x you #billy russo fanfic #billy russo fanfiction #ben barnes #billy russo punisher #the punisher #the punisher netflix #the punisher disney+

[pinchofhoney]

Hello again!💕 could I request Model! Y/N again with Ben Barnes with prompts:

7. “all i can think about is kissing you when i shouldn’t. you aren’t mine”

9. “how much longer are you going to hide your feelings for me, dummy?”

plot idea: before they dated: they’re longtime friends living in LA and both of them are in a party with friends, both of them are oblivious that they’ve have feelings for each other until one of Y/N friend’s from the runway industry starts making moves on her and Ben gets jealous and accidentally lets it slip that he has feelings for her when they’re alone together and a kiss 😳❤️ I like it to be mostly fluffy with a bit of angst😔

I cant wait to see what you do with this xxx😙❤️

where it all began # 200 follower special event

» prompt event » special events masterlist

gif is not mine, credit to the owner

ben barnes x model!reader

word count: 2.9k

warning: jealousy, fluff with a little bit of angst

summary: It's ironic how after concealing them for so long, feelings can be revealed in just one evening.

a/n: hello, hello!!<33 i'm sorry you had to wait so long, but here we go! i'm not confident about this story, because i don't think i can imagine a jealous ben, but i hope you will be satisfied. thank you for your request!!<3

pages that may interest you: masterlist ♡ taglist ♡ who i write for

taglist: @wolfmoonmusic @alexxavicry @danelhi @lonelywitchv2

Was there anything better than living not even a minute away from your friend? No. Definitely not.

Living across the street from your best friend, Ben, was like a dream come true. You had been close friends for almost a decade, and when it turned out that by moving to this neighborhood you would have Ben at your fingertips, you felt like the luckiest person in the world.

It was a bond that went beyond just friendship. You were like family to each other. You knew that if you ever needed anything, Ben would be right there, ready to offer his help and support. And the same went for him.

You would spend hours chatting on your front porches, sipping iced coffee and laughing until your stomachs hurt. You talked about everything, from the mundane details of your day to your deepest hopes and fears. There was never a dull moment when you were together.

Borrowing each other's clothes was a common occurrence. You loved how you could raid Ben's closet for a cozy sweater or a pair of comfy sweatpants, and he was always happy to lend you whatever you needed. You even had a running joke that you were secretly sharing a wardrobe, since you had so many items that seemed to belong to both of you.

But it wasn't just about the material things. You knew each other's routines, moods, and quirks inside and out. You could tell just by looking at each other if something was bothering the other person, and you always knew just what to say to make things better.

You even had the keys to each other's homes, so you could take care of each other's places when one of you had to leave city for an extended period of time. It was a sign of the trust and respect you had for each other.

But today your biggest concern was getting ready to go out.

As the sun began to set, you paced back and forth in front of your closet, feeling the pressure of finding the perfect outfit for the party you were going with Ben at your friend's house. You had spent the better part of the afternoon rifling through your wardrobe, trying on outfit after outfit, but nothing seemed to feel right.

You pulled out a sparkly dress and held it up to your body, admiring the way it shimmered in the light. But then you remembered how uncomfortable it was to wear and how you didn't want to be fidgeting with it all night. You discarded it on your bed.

Next, you picked up a pair of jeans and a cute blouse, thinking that maybe casual was the way to go. But when you tried them on, they just didn't seem to fit right. The jeans were too tight around your hips and the blouse was too baggy in the wrong places. You groaned in frustration and threw them onto the pile of clothes on your bed.

You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself down. You knew it wasn't a big deal, but you couldn't help feeling a bit nervous. This was just a party, after all. You didn't need to stress about what you were wearing. But as much as you tried to convince yourself of that, you couldn't shake the feeling that you wanted to look good.

You scanned through your clothes once again and finally landed on a long, flowing skirt and a simple tank top. You paired it with some strappy sandals and stood in front of the mirror. It was a comfortable outfit, but was it too plain? Would you stand out among the other guests? You couldn't tell.

You sighed and flopped down on your bed, staring up at the ceiling. Maybe you were overthinking this. Maybe it didn't matter what you wore. But you couldn't help but feel like it did matter. You wanted to make a good impression on Ben and look your best in front of him, without giving away the fact that you had feelings for him.

After a few minutes of deep thought, you stood up and walked back to you closet. You took a deep breath, closed your eyes, and picked out a cute white sundress. Your favorite. You slipped it on and twirled around in front of the mirror, admiring the way it flowed around your body. Maybe it was a bit boring, but you loved it and Ben liked this dress too.

As you were lost in your thoughts, you didn't even notice the time passing by. That's when Ben's sudden voice rang out from the bottom of the stairs, informing you that you were running late and had to leave now.

You let out a small yelp of surprise and rushed down the stairs, nearly tripping over your own feet in the process. “I'm coming, I'm coming!” you called out. Struggling to keep pace, you hurriedly made your way out of the door, desperately trying to avoid being left behind, as Ben was already waiting outside.

As you stepped out onto the front porch, the rough texture of the doormat beneath your bare feet made you realize that you had forgotten to put on your shoes. You let out an annoyed groan and hurried back inside, taking care not to trip again, this time on the polished wooden floor. The last thing you wanted was to fall flat on your face and ruin your chance to hang out with Ben.

You quickly slipped on your favorite pair of sneakers, knowing that keeping up with Ben's fast pace and dancing on the party would require comfortable footwear. You didn't want to risk blisters or sore feet this night. After all, you had spent enough time walking around in high heels on the catwalk to know that looking good was important, but comfort was even more important.

With your sneakers securely on your feet, you raced back out onto the porch, eager to catch up with Ben and start the night's adventure.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” you panted. “I couldn't decide what to wear.”

Ben chuckled and gave you a quick look. “Well, you look great in anything, so no need to stress,” he said, making you feel a little bit shy.

You let out a breathless laugh, feeling your heart racing at his compliment. You couldn't help but notice the twinkle in his eyes, the way his lips curled up into a smile, and the slight flush on his cheeks that always appeared when he was around you. It was as if he knew exactly how to make your heart skip a beat.

“You're not looking too shabby yourself,” you replied, trying to mirror his teasing attitude.

Ben grinned, the playful glint in his eyes making your stomach do somersaults. “Why, thank you, kind lady. I do try to look my best,” he joked, making you laugh.

As you and Ben made your way towards the door, he naturally put his arm around your waist. Your friends often teased you both about acting like an old married couple due to living so close to each other, but this gesture felt different. When his touch met your skin, you felt a jolt of electricity run through your body. You tried to shrug it off, attributing it to just nerves, but deep down, you knew there was something more there. Despite being friends for years, lately, you couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something different between you two.

The party was just a short walk away, but it felt like an eternity and even talking did not make the time go any faster. You could smell the scent of his cologne and feel the warmth of his body next to yours. You wanted to stay in that moment forever, but soon enough, you arrived at the house and the party was in full swing.

The moment you stepped inside, the thumping bass of the music hit you hard, signaling that this party was going to be wild. Your friend had promised it would be a small gathering, but it was clear that he had underestimated the turnout. The air was heavy with the scents of alcohol, perfume, and sweat, making it hard to breathe. You looked over to Ben, hoping to find some comfort in his presence, but he was quickly whisked away by his closest friend into the sea of people.

Despite the chaos around you, there was a sense of familiarity that brought a wave of nostalgia. It reminded you of your college days when you went to parties like this every week. Memories flooded back, and you couldn't help but smile.

As you weaved through the crowd, you felt the occasional brush of someone's hand against yours or the whiff of someone's cigarette smoke. It was overwhelming but exciting at the same time.

Eventually, you made it to the kitchen, where the crowd was a little thinner. You poured yourself a drink and turned around, only to find your friend from the fashion shows walking towards you with a drink in his hand. His eyes lit up when he saw you and you couldn't help but feel a little flutter in your chest as he closed you in a tight hug, being careful not to spill your drinks. You can't remember the last time you saw each other off the runway.

“Well, well, well, look who it is. The most beautiful woman in the room,” he said, his voice laced with flirtatious charm.

You rolled your eyes and laughed, knowing this was just his usual banter. “Oh, please, you're just trying to butter me up,” you replied, playing along with his teasing. “Hi, Josh.”

He grinned, showing off his perfect smile. “Maybe I am. But can you blame me? You look absolutely gorgeous tonight,” he said, his eyes twinkling with admiration.

You couldn't help but giggle at his flattery, feeling your nerves settling down in the crowded party. "Well, thank you," you said, taking a sip of your drink. “I guess I can't blame you for having eyes, right?”

Josh chuckled, leaning in closer to your ear. “You know, I've been meaning to ask you something since it's been a while since we've seen each other,” he said, mischief in his voice.

Curiosity piqued and you raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? What's that?”

“Are you seeing anyone?”

You felt your eyes widen, surprised, by his sudden question. You slowly shook your head. “No, not at the moment,” you replied, trying to keep your casual tone. The truth was that you wished you had a different answer.

“Good to know,” Josh said, smiling warmly at you. “Because I was hoping to steal you away for a dance.”

You grinned and shrugged your shoulders. “I don't see why not.”

Josh's hand felt warm against yours as he led you onto the dance floor, and your heart was racing with excitement. As soon as the music began, he pulled you close, and you felt his breath on your neck. You couldn't help but feel a little giddy at his attention, but at the same time, your mind kept drifting to Ben and how you wished it was him dancing with you now.

Despite your inner turmoil, you tried to focus on the present. The beat of the music pulsed through your body as Josh pulled you closer, and you felt a rush of heat rise to your cheeks. He wrapped his arms around your waist, and you could feel the muscles in his chest and arms tense as he swayed to the rhythm.

He was such an incredible dancer, moving with the beat effortlessly, and you followed his lead, feeling yourself getting lost in the moment. He made you laugh with his witty remarks and teasing comments, and you couldn't help but feel drawn to him.

But then, out of the corner of your eye, you saw Ben watching you from across the room. His jaw was clenched tight, and his dark eyes bore into you, making you feel uneasy. You tried to ignore him and focus on Josh, but the feeling of Ben's eyes on you was suffocating.

As the final notes of the song faded away, Josh's breath tickled your ear, making your heart race. “I think your boyfriend is getting jealous,” he whispered with a smirk, his eyes glinting mischievously. You furrowed your eyebrows slightly at the comment, unsure how to respond.

Before you could say anything, however, Ben appeared by your side, his eyes fixed on Josh. “Mind if I cut in?” he asked, his voice laced with tension.

Josh shrugged nonchalantly, taking a step back. “Be my guest,” he said, his smirk growing wider.

As soon as Josh was out of earshot, Ben grabbed your hand roughly and led you away from the dance floor. His grip was strong, almost possessive, but you couldn't deny the thrill that shot through you. You allowed him to lead you out of the crowded room and into the dimly lit hallway, where the sounds of the music faded away into the background.

You tried to speak, but his steely glare stopped you in your tracks. The tension between you was palpable, and you could feel your heart beating fast in your chest. He stopped abruptly and spun you around to face him, his grip still tight on your hand.

Ben's eyes narrowed as he glared at you, the fiery intensity of his gaze making your heart race faster. You had never seen him like this before; in all the time you had known him, he had never once been angry with you. His voice was low and rough as he spoke, his anger barely contained. “What the hell was that? You were practically all over that guy!” he accused.

Your heart sank at the accusation, feeling hurt and betrayed by his words. “All over him? We were just dancing, Ben,” you protested, your voice tinged with desperation. You hoped to make him see reason, to make him understand that there was nothing going on between you and Josh. “Don't forget that we're just friends,” you added, trying to remind him of the boundaries of your relationship.

But Ben was too far gone in his jealousy to listen. “I saw the way he was looking at you,” he spat out, his words laced with venom. “And the way you were looking at him. I don't like it, Y/N. I don't like it one bit.”

A silence fell between the two of you, and you stared into his eyes, searching for a clue as to what you should say next. The tension in the air was palpable, and you could feel the weight of his emotions bearing down on you.

Finally, he let out a deep breath, as if trying to calm himself down. He let go of your hand, taking a step back from you. “I know I have no right to be jealous, Y/N. I know we're just friends. But I can't help the way I feel. All I can think about is kissing you when I shouldn't. You aren't mine,” he said, his voice trailed off, and you could see the hurt and frustration etched into his face.

“I can be, just say you want it,” you replied impulsively, before you could stop yourself.

Ben looked at you in surprise, not believing what he had just heard. “What?” he asked, his eyes widening in shock.

You took a step closer to him, feeling bolder than ever. “I said, I can be yours. If you want me,” you repeated, your eyes locking onto his. “How much longer are you going to hide your feelings for me, dummy?”

Ben's surprise slowly turned into a smile, and he took a step closer to you, his hand reaching up to cup your face. “I've been hiding them for far too long, Y/N,” he said, his voice full of warmth. “I want you. I want to be with you.”

He leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a gentle kiss. It was hesitant at first, as if he couldn't believe that this was actually happening. But soon it became more passionate, as if he was trying to make up for all the time he had spent denying his feelings for you. You wrapped your arms around Ben's neck, holding him close as you kissed him back with equal fervor.

As the kiss deepened, you felt a sense of completeness wash over you. This was what you had been waiting for, what you had been hoping for, for so long. And now it was finally happening.

As you both pulled away, you looked up at him, your eyes shining with happiness. Ben smiled at you, his hand still cupping your face. “I can't believe it took us so long to get here,” he said, his voice filled with wonder.

You laughed, feeling a weight lifted off your shoulders. “Better late than never, right?” you replied, feeling giddy with excitement.

Ben pulled you into a tight hug, and you rested your head against his chest, feeling his heartbeat against your ear. “I'm never letting you go,” he whispered, placing a kiss on the top of your head.

You smiled, feeling content. “Good, because I'm not going anywhere,” you replied, feeling as if everything was finally falling into place.

#pinchofhoney's special events #200 followers #200 follower special #200 follower celebration #ben barnes #ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes oneshot #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes x female reader #ben barnes x fem!reader #ben barnes x you #ben barnes x y/n #ben barnes angst #ben barnes fluff #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone fanfiction #angst #fluff #angst prompt #fluff prompt #x reader #jealousy

[jamespottersdaisy]

We could slow dance to rock music, kiss while we do it.

Sirius Black x fem!reader.

"All you have to do is to make the first move, and I'll take care of the rest," he said and smirked.

“Fuck you,” you breathed before pulling him in by the collar.

warnings - drinking, mentions and allusions to sex, no explicit description but still it's pretty obvious that i'm talking about sex so i don't want minors around, fwb?

6.2k

author's note - i like this, but also don't. english is not my first language so beware <3

Your eyebrows were creased, straining the muscles around your temples. You would feel the slowly-forming headache if you weren’t too deep in thought, glaring at the parchment before you.

Stars, lines, moon, and a blank space. A blank space which you should fill. 

It wasn’t supposed to be that hard, not if you already had an O.W.L degree, yet somehow your nerves were tense, and you could feel your angry breath against your lips. You were aware of your heartbeat and your shirt's fabric on your skin.

Maybe you should’ve just gone to sleep. It would be nice to lie on the soft bed, and bury yourself under the heavy blanket. Slowly relaxing to the warmth, closing your eyes and dreaming…

No. You had a star chart to finish. 

Thus, you groaned and started abusing your poorly-overworked brain once more.

You drew and erased and drew again. You took a break to rest your fingers, messaged your temple, and you drew once more. You even measured the distance between two stars before drawing yet again. 

You were almost finished when a chortle echoed from the stairs. 

It sounded closer and closer with every second, yet it wasn’t accompanied by anything. Whoever the person that was wandering around at…

You checked the clock.

Three in the morning. 

Whoever was wandering around at three in the morning, he was alone. What was he laughing at then?

You didn’t need to wonder more as your head snapped at the stairs instinctively when you felt his shadow. 

“Black?” 

Sirius was staggering down the stairs with a big grin on his face. He frowned a bit when he found your frame crunched up behind a table.

“Why are you up?” he asked, and you could barely comprehend the words. 

“Studying,” you said, “Why are you up?”

He shrugged and tripped over, supporting himself from the walls. Another chuckle left his lips. 

You tried not to laugh at his state.

“Are you drunk?”

He offered you a belittling look, which you were sure emerged because of the intoxication.

“No. Do I seem drunk?”

His long raven hair was loose, tousled around his face. His eyes were glassy, and a hazy grin was embracing his lips. You tried not to stare at his jawline.

“Yeah, you do.”

“Well, I am not drunk, so,” Sirius threw himself at the sofa and winced when his head hit its arm. “Perhaps a bit tipsy.”

“How did you even manage to sneak alcohol in?”

You were sure they didn’t leave alcohol lying around in the castle, and nor did they serve it during dinner. Your question seemed to only amuse him more.

“Ask no questions, hear no lies,” he drawled, turning his head at you. “What are you studying?”

His outstretched hand pointed to the parchment before you, and you shrugged. 

“Star chart.”

“Did you find me?” 

You smiled and arched a brow at him. Little did he know he was the only thing you could think about when you were looking at the star named ‘Sirius’.

“You’re the brightest, how could I not?”

He hummed and stared at the ceiling. You turned back at the paper before you and tried to focus. 

Sirius’s presence didn’t render focusing any easy. You were hyper-aware of anything he did and everything you did. You could feel him cast spells with his wand, fetching a chess piece or flying a bar of chocolate around. You could feel your leg bouncing up and down and the urge to stare at him nagging you.

It wasn’t your fault that Sirius Black was beautiful. 

Jet black hair cascaded to his shoulders, tired grey eyes cutting into your soul like a knife. His sharp bone structure only complimented more to his mischievous grin. The way he carried himself around in the hallways would ensnare your breath, and the wry smile his lips crafted would glisten your stomach.

Sometimes you would find yourself observing the way he carried out idlest tasks, and you would feel drawn to the way his long fingers played with a pen or the way he slicked his hair back from his face. Occasionally, he would catch you staring, and his lips would curl into a sly grin.

You might not fancy him or bear feelings for him, but you definitely found him attractive.

“When do you think you’ll be done?”

You flinched at his dulcet tone, averting your head at his slouched stature. His eyes were still on the ceiling.

“In a few minutes, why?”

“I’m bored,” he finally glanced at you. “I’ve been waiting for you for almost an hour.”

“It’s been roughly twenty-five minutes since you’ve come down,” you said, swallowing the words for ‘Why are you waiting for me?’

“Same thing,” he shrugged and called you again. “Be quick, come on.”

You didn’t remember what you scribbled down on the paper, but you were sure they were all wrong. You merely got it over with to walk up and sit next to him. 

Sirius sat up, offering you space on the sofa. You placed yourself a bit away from him and stared at his face. He stared back at you. You didn’t blink away. Neither did he.

Finally, you got bored.

“You said you were waiting for me–”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

You made a confused sound at him. What was with intoxicated Sirius? Sober Sirius wouldn’t ask this to you.

“You were waiting for me to ask this?”

“No, I just forgot what I was gonna say,” he nodded several times, eyelids getting heavy. “So, I thought I wouldn’t keep you waiting.”

“You’re a bit tipsy, and you've already started forgetting what you were gonna say?”

“Why are you asking the facts as questions? It’s the second time you’ve done that tonight.”

You were looking more bemused than before now. Sirius must’ve seen it that he started laughing. You didn’t comprehend what was going on in his head. 

“You don’t even notice doing it, do you?”

“Sirius, you sure you alright? You haven’t smacked your head on a wall or something?”

He looked around thoughtfully.

“Remus did smack his book to my head an hour ago.”

“You should go to bed,” you got up, offering him your hand. “You’re talking gibberish.”

“I’m good,” he shook his head, grinning up at you while sinking deeper into the sofa. “We have just started talking.”

“Well, I want to sleep,” you grabbed his hand and dragged him. “Get your arse up.”

He was heavier than he looked; you were having a hard time dragging him up on his feet. You were having a hard time getting yourself up on your feet, too, when he pulled you into his lap by your intertwined hands. 

“What are you doing?” you hissed, feeling Sirius’s fingers on your back. You were awfully conscious of his touch and your placement on his lap. 

“You haven’t answered my question yet.”

“Sirius,” you grit your teeth, trying to raise yourself. He clicked his tongue when you squirmed, giving you a disapproving look. 

“Don’t move too much,” he said, and you felt his grip on your back tightening. 

You wanted to get up but didn’t want to feel another…friction. 

“What question?” you asked to sway the topic and the attention to something else. Something else that wouldn’t heat up your core or wouldn’t sweat your palms. You didn’t even remember the question.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No,” you blurted out and pushed yourself up. Sirius bit down his lip when you did, and you chose to ignore the rasping sound from his throat. You were sure you were sweating.

“Good night, Black.”

You turned your heels and almost sprinted to the stairs for the girl's dorm, but a resonant tone grasped your attention.

“Wait, you’re not gonna help me?”

You groaned and halted your steps, ready to strangle him. He had a feigned smile on his lips when you turned away, and for a moment, you were eager to leave him there to his own devices. 

“You didn’t accept my help when I offered it in the first place.”

“Offer again, come on,” he dragged out the words, signalling that he was indeed too inebriated to handle himself. 

Thus, you sighed and strode back, hauling him from his arm. He shifted his weight to you, and you were sure he did it on purpose. 

“I’m not carrying you, Sirius, just helping you out,” you reminded him, but to no avail. He simply glanced at you with hollow eyes and back at the stairs of the boy's dorm.

The smell of his cologne enticed you, but you managed to bury the butterflies back into their graves. You attempted to drown the screeches in your mind’s walls that echoed, nudging you to heed the proximity between your bodies. His warm breath hitting your cheek didn’t lend a hand to your endeavours of putting a leash on your racing thoughts.  

You headed to the stairs, ambling because of Sirius’s weight. Once you approached them, you groaned, earning a chuckle from the boy. 

“Help me out here, I can’t carry you all by myself,” the moment the words left your lips, you felt him pull a part of his heft and lift a step. 

You were grateful, but it lasted a second. You felt burned on top of your body as you two climbed the stairs– well, mostly, you climbed both of you. 

With every step, you felt your muscles tense up, and your breath deepened. When you diverted your eyes to Sirius, the same warm breath caressed your lips. He was watching you this whole time, listening to the voices you were making. 

His Adam's apple moved up and down when your eyes fell to his lips, and your breath hitched when his hand on your shoulder touched your hair. 

You had to remind yourself that he was drunk. No matter how much his touch ignited your skin or how much his darkened eyes burned deep in your core with desire, he was drunk. He wouldn’t even remember what was happening at that very moment.

What was happening, again?

Oh, nothing. Sirius had simply leaned in and left only an inch between your lips. You simply exhaled deeply into his lips, giving away how much he was affecting you.

Only a bit more, and your lips would touch, your body would flame up, and your heart would burst with lust.

He was drunk. 

You inhaled and stepped back. You didn’t look back at him, not until you arrived at your destination. You were expecting that you would have to carry him inside the room, too, but Sirius pushed himself off you and stood on his legs. 

“Cheers, love,” he said playfully, his eyes still lost in somewhere between sobriety and drunkenness. You watched him step back, put his hand to the door handle, and open it with a scowl.

“You could walk?! Why did you make me carry you?!”

He simply grinned before closing the door.

You were agitated for the next two days. Mainly because lessons were hopping on your nerves and because Sirius hadn’t acknowledged that night. The possibility that he had forgotten things was taunting you.

You wouldn’t mind it if you two weren’t almost about to kiss. Neither had you paid attention to him much before nor had he to you. It wouldn’t be much of a fuss for your mind if it were before. But it wasn’t. 

It wasn’t simply before, and you were starting to notice too many little things about him.

He would huff at the strand of hair before his eyes when cutting an ingredient. He would poke out the tip of this tongue between his lips when he was too focused on something. He had a mole right under his right eye, but it was too tiny to take notice.

All these new details would fumble your concentration.

Thus, when you two were partnered up in Potion’s class, you were frowning most of the time. The other part of the time, you were confused about what to do next for the damned potion. 

“Did you add the sloth brain?” you asked Sirius, much to your dismay. 

“No, stir twice clockwise first,” he readied the sloth brain, waiting for you to stir the pot.

You obliged, aware of Sirius’s hovering frame next to you. God, he smelled divine. It made you mad. 

He added the last ingredient before taking the spoon from you. Chills ran down your back when he brushed his fingers to yours, and you swore at yourself for acting and feeling like a thirteen-year-old. You despised the way your heart took pace when he sneaked closer to you, and your body refused to step away from him. Thus, you pushed him with your hip.

"Move away.”

“Don’t be bitter, I’m helping you out.”

“I am perfectly capable of making the potion.”

You weren’t. Your mind was so lost that Sirius had to intervene four times during the lesson.

“Capable, my arse,” he hits you with his upper arm, showing you slightly back to regain his previous place. “Did you make this many mistakes on your star chart, too?”

That was when your body froze for a second. 

He hadn’t forgotten, it seemed. You tried not to divulge any out-of-ordinary emotions. 

“My star chart was perfect until you came down and interrupted.”

Sirius shrugged, and you noticed that he also curled his lips downward. You glanced at his hands clutching the ladle and involuntarily gazed at the way he stirred the pot.

“It’s not my fault that I’m distractingly beautiful.”

He was distractingly beautiful. At least for you, he was beautiful enough to delve into your mind and ruffle all your thoughts.

“You were simply distractingly annoying,” 

Sirius smirked at you, his eyes narrowing vaguely. 

“You didn’t seem annoyed when you were on my lap.”

You felt the heat attract your skin, sweat threatening to emerge if you kept visualising how his hands felt on your back. You weren’t going to let him discern this, however.

“Need I remind you who pulled me there in the first place?”

“Nah, I did,” he took your hand and placed it on the ladle. “Do I need to teach you how to stir, or can you do that yourself?”

“You got tired already?” you mocked him, stirring the potion. As every normal person would, you expected him to deny or mock you back.

“Indeed,” he said instead.  

In the next moments, he would lean on the desk and watch you stir, and you would try your best not to ask him the question that was eating you alive. 

He would stare at your eyes blink while you watched every ingredient dissolve into the liquid just to avoid Sirius’s impact on you. He would observe every muscle twitching on your face while you were wincing at the screaming voices from the next desk. He would admire your smile while Professor Slughorn said, ‘Good job, kid’ to you.

If only you stopped fighting shy of his presence and heeded, you would notice that his eyes never left you for even a moment.

In the next few weeks, you would engage with Sirius more than any time of the year you had been in this school. 

He would come and sit next to you, bothering you while you were reading something. When you shooed him away, he would simply promise to stay quiet and listen to you read. 

‘I will be as silent as the grave.’

At some point, you would stutter, and he would ignore it. 

He would tease you at every opportunity and grin when you would get mad at him.

‘Stop eating my bloody muffins, Black!’

He would repeat the same thing only to adore the scowl on your face and the wrinkle between your brows, but you would be too irritated to notice it.

He would keep you company at your night studies but mask it as ‘not being able to sleep’. 

‘Remus snores too loud.’

You would be too tense to perceive his covetous gaze. 

You wouldn’t understand his sudden interest in you, but you secretly cherished this new friendship.

You would feel tingles when he drew stars on your arm during the lessons. You wouldn’t be able to hide your smile when he would ask you to polish his nails black. Your heart would flutter when he sat beside you and listened to you read. 

However, there was also something else lingering between the two bodies. A tension that would tense you, fluster your mind, and frazzle your skin with a yearning for his touch.

You would feel it when his breath hit your cheek, his finger brushed your hand, his thigh stroked yours. You would feel it when he whispered at night, hummed at your jeering words, and grinned at your tinted face.

You would feel it when he found you at midnight on Astronomy Tower, too.

You didn’t know how, but he would magically appear and cross your way; your encounters had tripled recently. Especially when you were alone.

At least once a week, you two would stumble upon each other in the Tower and the plain ‘hey’s would turn into deep late-night talks. Sometimes you would tell him how you had the worst day in your life, and he would briefly mention his family. 

You were slowly becoming friends. 

Yet, a feeling had been clawing your skin every moment he was close, exhorting you to touch his arm, his hand, his leg. A small gesture to the eye, but your heart would clench with a yen for more each time.

The exact feeling was now nagging you as Sirius was talking about his dream tattoo.

“A constellation?”

“How else would people know what star it is?”

He wasn’t exactly wrong. A simple star wouldn’t indicate the name, and he was determined to have Sirius tattooed. It was rather a silly conversation for one in the morning at Astronomy Tower, but recently you had grown to enjoy his voice.

“Where do you want it?” you asked, and he smirked.

You watched Sirius get up from the wall you’ve been leaning on and pull his shirt up. You expected him to point somewhere around his navel, but instead, he clasped the shirt between his teeth and placed his hand on his black pants.

“What are you doing?” you asked, a bit panicked, but your eyes betrayed you by peeking at his abdomen.

“Not taking my pants off, calm down,” he grinned and pulled the right part of his pants slightly down. You could swear you felt your breath get heavier when his right hip came to view. Everything from the sharp outline of his bone to the thin hair on his skin was boiling something in you, threatening to spill any moment.

“You could've just said to my hip,” you averted your eyes at his face with force. 

“Yeah, but then I wouldn’t see that look on your face,” he said, pushing his clothes back to their rightful places. You feigned a frown when he sat back next to you, your arms touching. 

“What look?”

“The one you make whenever I’m too close to you.”

You could feel the embarrassment climbing into your core and the need to lick your lips itching your nerves. 

“I don’t make any looks,” you managed to voice, trying to cover your chagrin with insouciance. 

Sirius scoffed and leaned in, almost daring you to prove him wrong. And you tried. You tried so hard not to hold your breath, not to pinch your thigh, and not to gulp the apprehension away.

He grabbed your chin when you failed. 

You kept your eyes on his grey ones, albeit his hot breath begged you to shut them. You wondered if Sirius could hear your heart hammering in your chest. 

“Sure you don’t,” he whispered, and you hated him for it.

Anticipation was hurting you, burning your heart with desire. You were irked that he wasn't doing anything. Teasing you, pushing you to the edge of the cliff, but never letting you see the view. You despised that you were at his mercy. 

He pulled away when you leaned in, chuckled at your eagerness. You were about to stop this madness and leave the Tower if it weren't for his hand on your waist that pulled your body close to his.

He was playing with you, testing your limits and self-control, which you clearly lacked. Or else you wouldn't arch your back at his touch and part your lips.

His hands roamed every inch of your body, but lips never touched yours. He let you place your hand on his collar but not on his face to crash your lips to his. You let his hands caress the bare skin of your arms, needing them closer to your heart, but he didn't give you what you wanted.

Your patience was hanging from a thread, ready to snap in a second. You could feel the frustration building up, slave to one mockery to burst into flames. Irritation and anticipation blended together, their colours turning your stomach upside down.

One more smirk from him, and you would snap.

"All you have to do is to make the first move, and I'll take care of the rest," he said and smirked.

So you snapped.

“Fuck you,” you breathed before pulling him in by the collar.

You weren't soft, he wasn't gentle, and the kiss wasn't tender.

It was hungry, zealous, and rapacious.

His lips fought with yours, intoxicating your every sense. Your nails marked his neck, earning rattled breaths that urged you for more. His hands claimed your skin, igniting every inch with lust.

You tugged on his hair when he bit down on your lip, and he pressed his fingers harder on your skin when you slipped your tongue inside.

Your breath mingled with his, and your lips parted only briefly when he pulled you to his lap.

The next second, he was pulling you in, hands on either side of your face. You pushed his hair away from his face, moaning to his lips.

His hands found their way under your clothes, making you arch at the cold of his fingers. Your lips were swollen and red at his point, as well as his. 

Yet, he didn't stop. Not until you were both unable to breathe anymore.

When he did stop, your lips missed his lips. You let your lungs take the air they needed while your eyes stared deep into his darkened ones.

Both of you were gasping for air, chests moving up and down in sync.

What would happen next stretched to dozens of moments, hundreds of thoughts and thousands of doubts.

You could stop right here and there. You could pause and talk about it or even not talk about it ever again. You could stay in the dark, refusing to learn what it would be like to feel him, to hear him, to taste him. Or…

All you had to do was to make the first move.

You chose the latter.

Great changes were made to your life since that night.

For example, you had learned how to sneak into the boy's room. You were now passing the Requirements Room more often, and your lips would be somehow swollen every time you were late to class.

It was exciting, the feeling that you could anytime feel a hand on your arm pulling you close, but it was also incredibly messy. You were skipping classes, meals, and even small chats with your friends.

You didn't regret it, though.

His quiet moans against your skin, your nail marks on his back, and the hot breaths lingering between the two bodies were all you needed to recall to abide.

It didn't have a name. 

You two were clinging to each other as hard as you could, your lips were begging for more even though there was nothing more to take, and the loving words were being spoken in the heat of a moment. But it didn't have a name.

You never bothered to think about it.

“I’m not sure they will fall for that,” you mumbled drowsily as Sirius was playing with your hair. A little bit more, and you would doze off on his bare chest.

“They will, they’re astonishingly stupid,” he said, and you frowned at how he didn’t trouble himself to keep his voice down. It was the middle of the night, and you were sure the other three boys were asleep–or trying to fall asleep– as you two talked.

“They’re smart enough to guess why you’re inviting them to a Gryffindor party,”

“Maybe,” he shrugged, and you felt your head move. “But we’re inviting all the Slytherins, and they’re proud enough to show up.”

“You still won’t tell me what’s the prank?”

He laughed, and you winced at the loud tone. 

“You just have fun, leave that part to us–” 

“Some of us are trying to sleep, Pads!” James exclaimed, and you stifled a chuckle. Sirius had mentioned that he woke up early every morning.

“It’s only midnight,” he called back, and you squeezed your lips together when another calm but firm voice was heard.

“Sirius, be quiet.”

“Be quiet yourself, Remus!”

But as time passed, you found yourself questioning things, trying to put on a label desperately so you could comprehend. So you could understand why he kissed your lips and called you his friend to others, why he put distance between you in public but got frustrated when he couldn’t feel your skin on his in private, and why he didn’t even touch you in mornings but marked you at nights.

You often found yourself gazing at the way his hair stuck to his temple or the way his fingers stroked the bruises on your hips.

“You’re staring,” he said between rapid breaths as he threw himself beside you. You laughed, drawing a deep breath in. 

You didn’t know how to ask this with the least damage, but you also knew if you let this…situation go on, it would only harm you.

“I have to ask you something.”

“Did I add glue to Pete’s shampoo? Yeah, I did.”

You rolled your eyes at him before giving him a disapproving look. Sirius merely grinned and nodded. 

“Kidding. Ask away.”

Here goes nothing

“I want to know,” you dig your nails into your palm. “what…this is.”

You were sure you didn’t choose the right words, but how else were supposed to ask it without sounding cheesy? When you peeked at Sirius, he looked frowning, eyes blinking fast enough to let you know his mind was blank. 

“What is what?”

“This,” you repeated, this time with more determination. You swung your pointer finger between the distance. “Us. What we are doing.”

“I–” he stopped, staring at you. You felt like his gaze was accusing you of relying on him for all the answers. “You can end it if that’s what you want.”

Your face fell in annoyance. How was that any relevant to what you asked?

“That’s not what I said.”

“I don’t understand what you said then.”

You sat up and started putting your clothes on, your brows furrowed. Sirius watched you propped up on his elbows. You tried not to peek at his hair.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“I am not going anywhere until you answer my question,” you tugged your shirt and faced him. “I asked what are we?”

You cringed internally for voicing the words and cursed Sirius for making you. But it had to be done; you weren’t going to be one of those people who would fall in love with the ideas in their heads. You had to know what you meant for him.

Sirius was biting his lips, picking the skin off. You arched a brow at him, still waiting.

“Friends?”

“Friends don’t moan each other’s names.”

Sirius groaned, sitting up. His eyes never left yours, his lips parting and closing in a search for the right words. Oh, how you wanted to dive into his mind and see the mess.

“I don’t know. What do you expect me to say? I’m in this as much as you are.”

He wasn’t wrong. You two never talked about this, but you should’ve. Because right now, your unspoken words were getting in the way. 

You looked at his conflicted face, loving the gleam of emotion you didn’t understand but hating the cross ambience you were too familiar with in his eyes. You were a stranger to your feelings for him; you didn’t know what you wanted, not yet, at least. But whatever it was, being away from him wasn’t the one.

Minutes had passed, and you were still silent. It hindered him and hampered the space between you. Somehow, the arm’s distance felt like miles for you. 

Sirius cleared his throat. 

“Do you– are you asking this because you want to see others, but you feel like you owe me something?”

Your eyes widened with surprise, words building up on the tip of your tongue. So many thoughts and words were waiting to be said, and you felt like you didn’t have enough time for them.

“No–”

“Because you can.”

“What?”

“See others. You can do that if you wish.”

You were staring at him with a glower. He was fine with you seeing someone else. Did this mean he felt nothing of importance for you? Did this mean you should also be fine with him seeing someone else? Well, you weren’t.

“I don’t want to see others,” you said, albeit you were sure something ruder would come out of your mouth. “So this is purely physical? Just sex?”

He stood still for a moment, denying you any answer. You knew he was thinking. You could see it from his eyebrows, hands, and eyes that moved around. You just didn’t know what he was thinking.

You also knew it was way too late for you when you felt a sting in your heart as he spoke.

“Yes. Just sex.”

Nothing changed, and yet you felt like everything had changed.

It was still the same tender touches, soft words, and zealous kisses. It was still the same tingle in your stomach when he would call you pretty while you whimpered with pleasure. It was still the same fire on your skin when his lips would caress every inch. It was still the same peace when he would hold you close afterwards.

However, the sleepless nights, warm tears and red eyes were new. The agony in your soul when he would simply nod at you in the mornings was new. The storm in your heart when he would leave you alone in empty rooms was new. The war in your mind when he fell asleep on your lap was new.

You hated every moment of it.

You started to see him with other girls more, too. Maybe you simply had started to pay attention, but it bothered you. It boiled your blood, tensed your muscles and twisted your tongue.

You wanted to show him it was more for you, but you didn’t know how. Of course, you could simply go up to him and confess your feelings. But where’s the fun in that? You were determined to get a confession from him.

That’s why you repeated everything he did that wounded you. 

He simply said ‘hey’ at you in the common room? You didn’t acknowledge him.

He said one of you should leave first so that you don’t attract attention? You were already out of the room.

He was about to swallow a girl whole? You didn’t do that yet. It felt beneath you to betray your feelings like that.

But you did watch him with a drink in your hand, music blasting in your ears and blazing eyes. His hand rested on the girl's back, a smug grin flashing as he lowered his head at her to hear her. You could feel every drop of poison travelling in your veins when he touched her, thorns of jealousy bleeding you. 

What a party.

At some point, you even contemplated returning to your room but decided to not let him ruin your night. Thus, you found your friends, and to your luck, they had enough energy to let you loose.

They made you sway your hips to the rhythm, jump in your place, and scream the lyrics from the top of your lungs. You were even drunk enough to feel dizzy, or maybe that was just too much jumping around.

You closed your eyes for a moment to take a break, laughing at yourself. You knew you shouldn't do it, but your hands poured another drink, ready to gulp it down.

“What are you doing alone?” a familiar voice called your attention. The raven black-hair was enough to let you know who it was.

You hated his attire. Black leather jacket on his bare chest with the same coloured pants. You hated his rings. Wrapping around his fingers too elegantly, forcing you to peek. You hated the black nails that you painted and the eyeliner you drew.

“Drinking.”

Sirius nodded and maybe even hummed, but the rock music was too loud to hear. You felt him take your hand and slowly pull you.

“Come dance with me,” he said, wrapping his arm around your waist. You hated the butterflies too.

“I don’t want to jump around, my head hurts.”

“Then we’ll slow dance. Come now.”

"To rock music?"

"Sure," he rested your hands on his shoulders, embracing you with his and pushing your bodies together.

"This is ridiculous," you breathed to his lips. Music and your movements didn't align. It made you feel out of place.

"How is your night so far?" he ignored you, and you heard the sarcasm in his question. Would it be bad if you punched him in the eye? But again, you loved his grey eyes. 

"Wonderful."

"Mine is too."

You rolled your eyes. He brought his hands to your hips. You could feel the odd looks from the people around. Who danced like this to rock music?

"Yeah, I saw."

He smirked, and you stepped on his foot.

"Saw what?"

"The wonderful in your night," you snarled, and his eyes caught yours escaping to the direction of the girl Sirius was with moments ago. 

"Are you jealous?" he asked as he swirled you around.

Maybe you should punch him after all. Hopefully, it would wipe off the smug on his face.

"No.”

“She was needed for the prank. To lure Rosier in.”

“Don’t remember asking.”

“I know. Didn’t want you to think of something else.”

‘Why?’ You wanted to ask but blurted something else out instead.

“We don’t owe each other anything, do we? You can do what you like, and I can do what I like.”

He frowned a bit. 

“I thought you didn’t want to see others.”

“Time will tell.”

“I don’t want you to see others.”

“You were the one–”

“I changed my mind.”

“Why?” you asked this time. Your heart was beating with the excitement of being so close to what you wanted to hear.  “It’s just sex like you said.”

“I made a mistake,” he said and turned the whole conversation into a joke again. “I didn’t know it was possible, either.”

“I will leave if you can’t stay serious for five minutes.”

“Fine, sorry,” he chuckled, but it was forced. His hands were sweaty, and his movements a bit sloppy. He was being extra careful not to step on you. He was aware this was the moment he was supposed to open his heart.

But he didn’t. He didn’t, and you waited.

You waited as he drew a sharp breath in, and you waited as he licked his lips. You waited for the words that never came. 

He was pushing you to the edge of a cliff, not letting you see the view. You could give up, let go of whatever this was. You could abandon your feelings and forbid your skin to his touch, and he wouldn’t have the power over your heart anymore.

All you had to do was to make the first move.

“I want this to be more, Sirius,” you said. 

His breath stopped for a moment. His hands tightened around your hips. You felt your steps come to a halt, too. Not that you were complaining; it was a weird dance. 

“I want you to be more.”

He rested his forehead against yours, a crook of a smile appearing on his lips. 

“We’re on the same page then,” he whispered, and you heard it despite the screams and music around you.

You didn’t know why he had such a hard time admitting his feelings or voicing them properly. But you were used to it. He wouldn’t tell you he cared about you, instead, he would dance to rock music with you.

You smiled and started to move ineptly at the head-aching music. He kissed your lips when you did, and you happily returned it. His lips were soft this time, and his kiss tender. Your smile didn’t fade when he pulled away. 

“How is your night so far?”

“Wonderful,” you giggled, “Yours?”

"You're the wonderful in my night," he whispered before kissing you again.

i'm a bit insecure about this one, but i'm also extremely tired

thank you for reading and let me know what you think!

and if you care to, buy me a coffee<33

#sirius black #sirius black x female reader #sirius black x y/n #sirius black fic #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #sirius black x you #sirius black x reader #sirius black smut #ben barnes #harry potter #remus lupin #james potter #sirius x you #sirius x reader #sirius x y/n #friends with secrets #marauders era #marauders fanfic rec #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #marauders fandom

[heaven4lostgirls]

me casually listening to ben barnes on a podcast defending snapes ‘love’ for lily: 😨😨

#juliwrites #harry potter #marauders #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #marauders angst #severus snape #ben barnes #benjamin thomas barnes #ben barnes angst

[love-strawberry]

truly, honestly, completely

summary : in which they fight but make up in the most wholesome manner.

pairing : ben barnes x reader

warnings : language, arguing

author's note : it's hereee!! it's my first time writing something for a celebrity so i really hope you like this!!!!

tagged : @mrsben-barnes @ellora-brekker @slut4benbarnes

truly, honestly, completely 1.0

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ben messed up. he knew that. and it kinda started like this—

"woohoo, going somewhere fancy?"

y/n smiled as ben came into their bedroom and sat on the bed. he watched with adoration in his eyes as she looked through their shared closet for her black heels.

"yes. we are," y/n spoke and she put found the heels and quickly put them on.

"haha, no. we're not," ben said as he sat up straight. as far as he could remember, they didn't have any plans today.

"ben, we are. we're going to belle's, did you forget?" y/n asked as she looked at him.

"we're—we are not. i made plans with with lads, we're going mini golfing," ben replied looking at her with a weird expression, "don't you think i would remember if we made plans?"

"i told you yesterday, when you came back from another night out with the cast," y/n spoke, trying so hard to keep sadness from seeping into her tone but couldn't help it, "it's our 5th anniversary."

at the mention of their anniversary, ben's face crumbled with guilt. he had completely forgotten.

"oh—my lord. y/n, love, i am so sorry. it completely slipped my mind," ben spoke hurriedly as he stood up and walked to where y/n was standing, placing his hands in her arms, "i forgot, and i am so fucking sorry."

"you forgot, ben?" y/n said incredulously as she pulled herself away from him, "i took the entire week off, cleared my whole schedule and tried to spend as much time as i could with you this whole week while you fucked off with your friends because we couldn't spend our 4th anniversary together. i have been planning this day to the last minute and you made plans with the lads?!"

"i am sorry, okay?" ben raised his voice to get his pont across but failed as y/n just shook her head at him, "i forgot, yeah? i did, like any other person. i am sorry, i really am. it was very inconsiderate of me to spend so much time with my friends and castmates and neglect my girlfriend, and i apologize for that."

he was doing so well, with his apology. y/n was about to forgive him, she would've forgave him easily and go on with their dinner plans but ben started speaking again and messed up.

"but i am gonna go with lads tonight. it'll be very rude of me to cancel on them last moment, we'll catch dinner tomorrow, yeah?" ben asked as he cupped her cheeks.

"i—i think i am gonna go to jessie's, yeah. i am sorry, ben, but if you're choosing mini golf over your 5th anniversary celebration, fuck you," and with that she turned and left him standing in their bedroom.

so yeah, ben really did mess up. and it went like this, badly.

----------

"and then he said that he was gonna go and fucking play mini golf with the fucking lads and ditch me on our 5th anniversary, like what kinda asshole does that, huh?" y/n spoke as she drank red wine from ridiculously expensive glass and watched friends while jessie rubbed her back, comforting her.

"i am so sorry, darling. ben's an idiot. but he's an idiot who loves you, very much. i am not gonna say that you should go and talk to him because he should be talking to you but what i am gonna say is that when he does talk to you, hear him out," jessie said, laying her head on y/n's shoulder, "he's a mess without you, you know that."

"i know," y/n whined, "but like, i was so excited for today. i had an amazing day planned and i—i was, well—i have been thinking about proposing to him but i haven't so i was gonna ask him about his stance on marriage but like, he ruined the day."

"like i said, he's a fucking idiot. but please make up with him soon, he won't stop blasting taylor swift at 2am."

"hm."

and with that, both y/n and jessie continued watching friends and bashing ross when he kept saying 'we were on a break'.

they were almost through with 5 episodes when their was a knock at the door. y/n looked at jessie who just shrugged and kept watching tv, leaving y/n to answer the door.

opening the door to jessie's surprisingly well kept garden, y/n was shocked to see ben standing there.

what more shocking was that it appeared to be raining where ben was standing, but it was only coming from one spot, to ben's right.

y/n rolled her eyes at ben's attempt to apologise. it was shitty but still, it was better that nothing.

"seriously? season 3 sirius? is that where you got the hose trick from? and kit, come out," y/n huffed, snatching the flowers from ben's hands and giving him and kit the finger as they grinned at her.

"kit, please let go of my hose, and ben, stop being so dramatic," jessie rolled her eyes and stood up.

"but it's more romantic with rain, jessica," ben complained but stopped when he saw y/n glare at him.

kit and jessie both went outside, leaving the room and giving the couple privacy for the long talk that they need to have.

ben cleared his throat and looked at y/n once more before speaking. and did he have a lot to speak.

"first, i wanna say sorry. i know, i have said this before and i did mean it but this one's more sincere. i am sorry for forgetting our anniversary especially when we couldn't celebrate together last year. i know that it bothered you to a great extent and i know that this meant a lot to you," ben said, taking both of her hands into his, "you planned a whole day for us, and i just forgot. i can't believe i forgot, like how can I forget the most important day in my life? there's no excuse, and i am not giving you one. this is just me owning up to my actions.

"and to add into that, i am sorry for choosing mini golf over our anniversary. i—i don't know why i did that. i guess i just couldn't spend the day with you swimming in the guilt that i forgot it so i just chose the easy way out which was not the best decision, obviously," ben rolled his eyes, mad at himself. y/n smiled at him, knowing that he genuinely was sorry and decided, he was forgiven.

"so yeah. i am so sorry, darling. i love you and you're the best thing that had ever happened to me. and i can't lose you, not now, not ever," he confessed, leaning his forehead against hers.

"i love you, so much and you're forgiven. we forget things, it's alright. we will celebrate next year, it's fine ben," y/n said as looked at him, watching as his shoulders relaxed with relief.

"i love you so damn much," and with that ben kissed her.

he kissed with so much love, just like he did everytime. the way he cradled her face, like it was an artwork. his one hand tracing her jawline while the other went from gripping her waist to holding the nape of her neck.

there was something in the way that ben kissed y/n that made her feel like she was the only one in the world besides ben. it was cliche but she realised that's what it meant being in love. being cliche, cause once you find the one you love truly, honestly, completely, you'll find yourself blushing at the things you used to make faces at.

she loved ben and he loved her in return.

truly, honestly, completely.

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#ben barnes #ben barnes blurbs #ben barnes au #requested #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes fic #ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes x fem!reader #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes x actress!reader #ben barnes x you #ben barnes x y/n #ben barnes fluff blurbs #ben barnes fluffy #ben barnes one shot #ben barnes angst #ben barnes fluff #ben barnes blurb fluff #jessie mei li #kit young #shadow and bone cast #social media au #social media imagines #social media fics #<3

[paracsms]

secrets i have held in my heart

pairing: sirius black x fem!reader

summary: when a slytherin classmate asks you out, you gladly accept. but why is sirius so upset about it?

warnings: angst + fluff

word count: 3.0k

note: not sure if the title makes sense but i was listening to i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys while writing this soo.... enjoyy

“who were you just talking to? seemed awfully friendly.”

a smile pulled at your lips as you approached your friends, grinning at lily’s question. “vincent richmond. he's in our year.” you replied.

“who!?”

and that would be sirius black, who nearly spat out his juice at your mention of the boy’s name. “vincent richm-” you go to repeat but sirius interjects again. “no, i heard you. what i meant to say was.. why?”

you ignored sirius and turned back to lily, “as i was saying, he asked me to go to hogsmeade with him this weekend.” you tell her excitedly.

“he what!?”

“sirius please, i'm trying to have a conversation with lily.”

sirius shook his head, moving closer to you. “so what did he say when you rejected him?” he asked as he raised his eyebrows. you rolled your eyes as you let out a sigh. “i didn't reject him.” his eyes grow wide, “you didn’t?” he almost whispers as if saying it too loud might get him in trouble.

“i didn’t.”

“why not?” his voice is much louder now. you look at him with disbelief and confusion. “why not? uhh i don't know. maybe because he's nice-”

“nice? he's a slytherin! lily, tell her she can't go on this date.” he looks over to your friend. she shrugs, “she can make her own decisions, sirius. in fact, i encourage it.”

sirius’ mouth opens in shock. “encourage it? why?”

“well, she's been hung up on-” she's cut off by a nudge. her eyes widen as she realized what she's almost revealed. meeting your glare, she offers you an apologetic smile.

“i mean, you know, it's just a date. let her have fun.” she awkwardly stumbles through her sentence, shamefully looking down to her food once she’s finished.

“homework!” you suddenly call out. “i forgot my potions essay in the dorm, i'll go fetch it.” it wasn't a lie, you really did forget, but thankfully it gave you the opportunity to leave the conversation and get away from sirius.

you couldn't believe him. why was he so against you and vincent? it annoyed you to no end, or rather it confused you. but that seemed to be your friendship with him, confusing. sirius black was in possession of something very dangerous, charm. and unfortunately, you fell victim to it.

everyone knew he was a natural flirt. all he had to do was flash a cheeky smile and girls fell at his feet. and oh, how you tried not to fall for it, tried to resist. but the heart is a fickle thing, is it not?

but the risk of your friendship was too big. during your time at hogwarts, sirius had become a very good friend of yours. he was spontaneous, fun, but most of all loyal. you treasured the relationship you had with him, and not wanting to jeopardize it, you decide to keep your growing feelings for the boy to yourself. who even knows if he felt the same?

it was hard at first. so much so, that lily took notice how your gaze lingered on him, how you laughed a little louder at his jokes. once she confronted you, you knew you couldn't keep it from her. however, telling her of your feelings had proved to be helpful. somehow getting everything off your chest aided you in getting over the long haired boy. although, not completely.

once you retrieved your homework, you quickly made haste so as not to miss your first class when you were stopped by sirius. “what?”

“are you really going to hogsmeade with richmond?”

you let out a sigh, running a hand through your hair. “i am.” sirius’ shoulders sag at your answer, head slowly hanging down. “but why?” you stayed silent for a moment, waiting until sirius meets your eyes once again. “because he asked me.”

“you can't go out with him.” he insists to which you rolled your eyes. “why is that?” you challenged, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared him down. “b-because he's a slytherin!”

“so?” you tilt your head at him. “so? so, he's evil?” he exclaims. “evil? sirius, you don't even know him.”

“neither do you!”

your hand comes up to your temple, rubbing it in frustration. “exactly, so i'm going on this date to decide for myself what kind of person he is.”

“but-”

“why are you against this? as my friend, i’d think you want me to be happy.”

sirius jaw clenches at your words, “is that what you think? i don't want you to be happy?” you press your lips together as you shrug your shoulders, “i don't what else to think, sirius!”

“i’m only acting this way because i want you to be happy; i'm looking out for you!”

“looking out for me? you haven't given me a valid reason as to why i shouldn't go out with vincent.”

“yes i have.”

“no, you've only shown your contempt for him about twenty times over.”

“i told you, he's tricking you. he’s a snake.”

“because that's the only reason someone would ever express interest in me. to make me the butt of some joke?”

sirius looks taken aback at your statement, “that is not at all what i said, you are not listening to me.”

“i think i've listened enough.” you huff. the tension is high, a few of your fellow students lingering in the hallway to listen in on the argument. the both of you are practically fuming with anger. “oh have you?” sirius snarks. you nod at him. he shakes his head, “you know, i'm only looking out for you,” his voice is stern. “i don't want to see you get hurt.” he added.

“i can take care of myself.”

sirius nodded, lips pursed as he let out a sigh, “fine. but don't come crying to me when it all goes to shit!” he called out before turning on his heel. “don't worry, i won’t need to!” you yell at his retreating figure.

-

it's hogsmeade weekend, which means it's time for your date with vincent. you had been giddy about it all week, save for the spat you had with sirius. you haven't spoken to him since, not that he made any effort either.

nonetheless you were gonna go on this date and you were gonna have a good time, regardless of what sirius thinks.

with the help of the girls, you picked out a great outfit and did your hair. after a small pep talk from your friends, you were off to hogsmeade. vincent told you he'd meet you at the three broomsticks and from then on you'd see where the day takes you. the girls sent you off while they went to honeydukes, wishing you good luck as they did so.

-

“she’s really going on the date.”

“sorry mate.” james comforted sirius as he laid on his bed, head buried in a pillow. the boys had decided to sit this hogsmeade weekend. mostly for sirius’ sake. he didn't want to risk the chance of running into you, of running into you and vincent. “it's just one date, pads. who knows what’ll come of it.” james continued. “but now she's angry at me.” sirius groaned.

“i don't blame her.” remus decides to speak up. sirius lifts his head from the pillow. “et tu, moony?”

“you were being a git. she's right to be angry with you.”

“i was only trying to warn her- how could she go out with him?”

“well, i'm sure if you told her the actual reason you don't want her going on this date, she wouldn’t currently be on the date.” remus pointed out, james nodding in agreement. “he's right, pads.”

“oh, what do you know? you've been pining after lily for the past six years and she still won't give you the time of day.”

“okay, i know you didn't mean that. you're hurt because the girl you're in love with is currently on a date with someone else. so i forgive you. cheap shot, though.”

sirius gasps, “woah, woah. in love? i’m not in love with y/n.” he says, looking up to his friends who now have unamused looks on their faces. “i'm not! wormy, back me up here.” sirius urges peter, who looks away awkwardly, not saying anything. sirius mouth falls open. “really, wormtail?”

“it's pretty obvious, padfoot.” peter spoke softly, james and remus both hum in agreement. “obvious to everyone but him. and y/n, apparently.” remus adds. sirius shakes his head.

“i'm not in love. she's my friend and i want the best for her.” james goes to interject but sirius continues, “okay maybe i have a little crush, but can you blame me? she's amazing. she's so smart and brave. and funny. and i love spending time with her, it's the best part of my day-”

james, remus and peter all share knowing glances as sirius rambles on, fighting off smiles when sirius gets up to pace around the room all the while still talking.

“.. her hair always sits so pretty and she smells amazing and it's not that i don't want her to date, i just don't want her dating anyone but me-” sirius pauses in his rant and his pacing. his eyebrows furrow before his eyes widen as if he came to a realization.

“i’m in love with y/n.”

“finally!” the boys shout in unison at his revelation, getting up to pat him on the back. they celebrate for a bit before sirius freezes. “i have to stop that date.”

-

it had been thirty minutes and vincent still hasn't shown up. you'd stood outside the three broomsticks for five minutes before deciding to go in to look for him. when he wasn't inside, your mood started to deflate, but you decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. so you went back outside and kept on waiting.

while your patience was growing thin, your anger was getting stronger. you were ready to leave and look for your friends when you heard vincent’s voice.

“i told you!” as he came closer into view, you saw that he wasn't alone. he was joined by a group of boys. and they were laughing, some were even pointing at you. furious, you stomp over to vincent.

“do you know how long i’ve been waiting?”

the smug look on his face doesn't falter, “30 minutes? give or take?” he smirks at you and your face drops. “what?”

vincent let out a barking laugh, “oh, you didn't actually think i was interested in you, did you?” your eyes widen in shock, unable to find the words. “oh you did, didn’t you? too bad.”

your fists clench at your side at the sound of his voice, his laughter, his friend’s laughter. “so what, this was all just some dumb joke?”

“a bet, dollface. i suppose i should thank you, i'm a few galleons richer because of you. pay up, fellas!”

“you're awful.”

“good thing i don't care.” his friends break out into laughter once more, oh the dreadful sound. you were about to storm off but not before reaching for your wand and casting a few jinx spells.

-

you were currently being comforted by lily and marlene. they'd found you in the common room, sobbing on the couch. you would have gone up to your dorms but since everyone was at hogsmeade you had settled for the common room.

your sobs have stopped by now, but tears still flowed freely down your cheeks. “i'm such an idiot.” you sniffled. “no, you're not. he’s the idiot.” marlene assured, her hand comfortingly resting on your back. “she’s right. you are an amazing girl and he's an absolute arse for doing that to you.” lily spoke.

“merlin, he was right.” you sighed, burying your face in your hands. lily and marlene share a confused look, “who? vincent.”

“no,” you groan, “sirius-”

frantic footsteps can be heard suddenly, interrupting you. they get louder and louder until they reach the common room. you freeze at the sound of his voice. all four of the marauders are now in the room. you quickly wipe away at your tears and attempt to regulate your breathing. they spot lily and marlene first.

“girls, have you seen y/n-” james’ voice falters as he walks closer and spots you on the couch. at his abrupt silence, sirius quickly runs over to see why james had stopped talking. sirius freezes at the sight of you. surrounded by tissues. eyes red and puffy and cheeks flushed.

remus and peter soon join them, equally shocked at the situation. “what happened?” remus spoke softly, voice concerned. “nothing.” you quickly say, hoping they didn't hear the crack in your voice. “but you're crying.”

“i'm fine.”

“are you sure-”

“yes!” you look up to see the boys’ worried looks, you heave a sigh as you feel another tear falling down. not trusting your voice, you gesture to lily and marlene, giving them the okay to tell them what happened.

“vincent.”

sirius’ jaw clenches at the name, he has been quiet all this time, his eyes never leaving you. “the date was just some stupid bet with his friends. to see how long y/n would wait for him.” the boys gasp as their faces contort into disbelief, shock and anger.

sirius huffs, nostrils flaring as his fist clench at his side. he quickly turns to leave the room, ready to give vincent a piece of his mind when remus stops him. “don’t do anything stupid. you need to be here for her right now.” sirius sighs before realizing that remus is right and turns back to you.

“that’s awful, y/n. what a git.” james curses, shaking his head sympathetically. everyone nodded in agreement.

“are you okay?” sirius asks, the room falling silent. standing up from the couch, you finally meet his eyes, his familiar grey orbs bring a sense of comfort despite the tension between the two of you. you nod at him. “you were right.” you whispered. when he says nothing you continue, “he was bad news and i should’ve listened to you. could you gloat at a later time, though? not really in the mood.” your voice is shaky as more tears escape.

“and don't worry, i won't come crying to you.”

sirius lets out a sigh, “what if i come to you?”

you cautiously watch as sirius strides over to you, opening his arms and bringing you into his chest, nestling his face into your hair. you tense up for a moment before melting into him, wrapping your arms around him.

lily gestures for everyone to leave, nodding her head at the door. they all follow suit, quietly exiting the room to give you some privacy.

you start sobbing quietly as sirius holds you close. you feel his hand come up to stroke your head. “i’m sorry.” you snicker. sirius pulls back, enough so he can cup your face. “hey, you have nothing to be sorry for.” he assures you. you shake your head. “i do. i should've listened you and then we fought-”

“that was my fault.”

“but you were right about him.”

“i didn't want to be! everything i said was out of pure jealousy. if i knew what he was up to, trust me, i would have been a lot more persistent.”

“you were jealous?”

sirius looks down at you with a fond smile, “love, i'm jealous of anyone who holds your attention for more than a minute.”

your mouth slightly opens at his statement. sirius lets his words sink in. it’s a confession. of sorts. he so badly wants to scream how utterly in love he is with you, but he decides he’ll tell you tomorrow. with your favorite flowers, maybe some sweets from honeydukes. and definitely in a more romantic setting.

“just a heads up, me and the guys are definitely gonna make vincent and his foul little friends pay. i'm sure james already has some ideas.”

you let out a laugh, “no need, right now they're all covered in boils and throwing up slugs.” you tell him proudly. sirius gives you an amused look, “i've taught you well.”

-

some time later the both of you are on the couch, his arms around as your head rests on his chest. some of your housemates had come and gone, pausing as they saw the two of you entangled together.

sirius absentmindedly played with your hair as the two of you engaged in conversation about anything and everything. your tears had stopped long ago and now you could barely remember the entire vincent fiasco. now you feel at ease, at peace. in his arms.

“...you should've seen snape’s face. oh, it was priceless-” sirius pauses his story as he feels your breathing even out. when he looks down, he finds your eyes closed, your face cuddled into his chest. he couldn't help the smile that grew on his face as he watched you.

careful not to wake you up, he adjusts slightly on the couch so you can stretch out more comfortably, movement freezing when you stir. once he feels you settle once more, his hand comes up to stroke the top of your hair. you nuzzle more into his chest at the gesture and sirius hopes you don't feel the rapid beating of his heart.

he contemplates on waking you up, you probably would be more comfortable on your bed, but he selfishly decides against it, opting to hold you in his arms a little while longer.

a few moments pass and you're still sleeping soundly on sirius’ chest. he looks down to your face and heaves a sigh. the events from earlier are still at the back of his mind. the nerve of vincent richmond.

“you did not deserve that.” he whispers softly. “you are so fucking precious and you don’t realize, huh?” his thumb traces over your cheek, “you deserve the world and everything beyond,” he breathes into your hair. “and i will make it my life’s mission to give you just that.” he pressed a soft kiss to your head before stroking over your hair once more.

tomorrow. tomorrow he’ll tell you everything. how deeply he feels for you, how you make his heart swell with a simple smile, how he cannot bear the thought of you with someone else. tomorrow he’ll tell you everything he just said and he’ll make sure you're awake to actually hear him.

fortunately, you were always a light sleeper.

#sirius black x reader #sirius black #ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #sirius black x female reader #sirius black x you #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #sirius black fic #sirius black fanfiction #the marauders #harry potter #maurauders era