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I let a drug control my life. Now I pay the conquinces. I’m sick, and cold but most of all it made me feel not lonely. I felt confident, for once in my life. I felt bulletproof. I felt truly happy, but now I know the happiness I felt was just masked by the drug. when i stop using I was sad the whole time. ,all i thinkin is when is my next high. Now I’m 24, I’ve tried every fucking benzo pill ,they was my lover for quite some time. I could never leave it, maybe for a bit, but I always came back. Now it’s day 4 of sobriety and I feel lonely, cold, depressed, sick, sad. I don’t even wanna wake up. I just wanna sleep. I don’t know if I’m addicted to benzo or happiness. I just wanna feel normal.

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