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jungjungmochi · 11 months

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Unspoken Feelings

- Berleezy x Fem! reader

- 3rd person point of view

- Reader is Krysta’s sister

- This might be short and I’m so sorry! It’s probably so bad and I’m really sorry! But I’d been in a hurry to update you guys. I had a lot going on with my apartment and stuff but I’m now present and hopefully this will get you through!

- Angst to Fluff

- Summary: Even if the relationship didn’t last, biting down on the tongue hurt. So, with a bit of awkwardness, hurt feelings, and the push from your sister, it was time to confess with the unspoken words. Wanting to fix it all.

If someone had ever approached you, told you that you wouldn’t last with Berlin, it would’ve made you give out the biggest laugh of your life. Not you and Berlin. The couple that did almost everything together, the couple that showed up in videos, the girlfriend that always did photo shoots for the merchandise. The supportive girl and her protective boyfriend who cuddled her at night, assured her everything would be okay. It felt unreal. But it was the reality, and it hurt thinking about the way it would be the truth, even if you didn’t want to accept the reality. Every bit of what someone would say, was true.

It was rough remembering the split from Berlin, Krysta remembered seeing your tears. She felt for you, her intentions to introduce you was to never watch you two fall apart, it was to never watch you both get hurt. And sometimes it took you to assure when she apologized a thousand times that it wasn’t her doing and she shouldn’t take the blame for the miscommunication that both of you had. Having to give her a talk about how it was your relationship and not her responsibility to worry about something she had no ill intentions for. She remembered showing Berlin a photo of you, which turned into him being genuinely attracted, which became the desire to meet. And when it happened, you wanted nothing more than to be together from there.

It was like any other day, today work called in early, as much as you despised opening, you still preferred to secure your job and money. Not wanting to go without, so you’d stick around for a few hours of your shift. Which is what you did, and now after the dreading hours of trying to keep calm and not explode on the rude customers you had for the day, it was time to sink into the comfort of your home. “Oh you’re home from work!” Krysta smiled. “Girl please. It was the worst. I hated it! Some girl came in yelling at me and it didn’t help that I couldn’t hit her! She stood there and complained for an hour before she was told to leave. I couldn’t reason with her.” You scoffed at the thought of the lady from earlier. This caused your sister to let out a laugh as she shakes her head slightly. “Well. Y/n. You can’t fight customers. Sadly. So I’m glad you didn’t hit her.” She hums. Yeah, glad. You were happy you didn’t either, you were still upset, hurt. And had anger from your break up.

These feelings didn’t go by easily, even your sister could sense they were still there. She knew, and deep down she wanted to make sure you’d always be okay no matter what. Even if it felt like your three-year relationship was really a waste of memories. “Look. Y/n, if you want us to stop being friends. We can. I won’t hang out with him…” she said. At least you knew she always had your back, but you had no reason to make your sister stop her friendship. Mainly because it was never her fault in the first place. "No, Krysta. I'm not going to make you stop your friendship with him. It's not your fault that things between us ended." you assured. She still felt bad, she hated seeing you so down, knowing you still love him, even though you made it obvious based on your reactions upon hearing his name. "Besides that. Would you like to go out and eat tonight?" she asked. A small smile had formed on your lips. "Sure, later tonight we can go. I need to get out of these damn clothes," you said as you smiled at her. She always knew a way to cheer you up.

The sounds of people chattering filled the room, but it wasn't so bad after all. Being able to sit at the table and eat with your sister, share a laugh, and have some drinks, which drinking has never fully been your best suit. You remember the time Berlin damn near exploded upon hearing that you walked home drunk late at night. But, once again, he was there. Because he made sure he would find you and get you home and well taken care of. Krysta couldn't scold you though since she would be sober if you did get drunk.

"This ended up being better than I thought." you giggled lightly with the small tint on your face. "I did dread work today, so this makes up for the work I've been doing, which sucked because my manager never has my back," you mumbled under your breath. The waiter walked over and he smiled. "Everything going good?" he asked as you two hummed. "Can I get another one of these?" you pointed to the glass. Krysta kept her eyes on the man, making sure he wouldn't say or try anything. "Of course." he smiled, taking the cup before walking away. Sighing, you glanced at your sister. "You don't have to stare him down so hard," you replied as she rolled her eyes in annoyance. "It's my job to look out for you when you drink a lot. Guys are creeps. Y/n. You need some form of security." she stated.

Upon hearing those words, you thought of him, the times Berlin had assured you and made you feel safe despite the setting you two would always be in. It felt like hell now without him, would you being careless be enough? would it regain his attention so he would stop being stubborn?. Maybe he would hear you out but the desire of his attention was too much. He would never hear you out, let it go. "Has Berlin always...be strong-minded?" you asked. The question was sudden but Krysta cleared her throat. "What do you mean?" she asked as you sighed. "Sometimes I wonder if his strong mind is what makes him feel like he doesn't have to hear me." you frowned as she did too. "What? That's nonsense, Berlin would hear you out." she hums.

The doubt sank in. "No. Because he doesn't love me."

Then the tears welled up. "He never did."

Why couldn't you forget him? "I mean why?"

All you wanted was for him to listen. "He broke up with me."

And were you to blame? "He told me it was my doing.."

Would he ever listen? "He wouldn't even stop for a second."

Did he still think of you? "Maybe he's moved on."

Krysta hated this, watching as you crumble and wonder if you were really in the wrong. But she didn’t have time to comfort because ole and behold, Berlin was there. She couldn’t help but clear her throat as she had grabbed your hands. “Y/n that’s not the case. Berlin loves you.” She said. “He didn’t even take the time to listen to me, he just assumed I was cheating, and that shit hurt.” You huffed. Your sister could only shake her head, why couldn’t you two just make up? That’s all she wanted. “I don’t want him to think the worst. But he’s not even willing to hear my half of the story. So the reality is that we won’t ever piece our relationship back together.”

Berlin was always hyping you up and when he let you go out with the girls. You recalled getting dressed cute, makeup going, hair going. You felt good about yourself, even coming to the time he told you how good you looked. And the idea of that night when you kissed his lips and told him sweet words before you left, you always put Berlin before them and didn’t mind staying home to watch movies with him on some days you didn’t wanna be bothered with the outside world. He was always so sweet and willing to do everything for you as you were him, but your heart always aches when you recall the ending, the moment he accused you of cheating.

How could he? His y/n was no cheater but he just had to assume you were cheating because you hung out with a guy friend. Did Berlin have no recollect concept that your friend wasn’t into women to begin with? He was so damn cruel that night. Assuming that guy was taking you home, calling you a cheater in front of all those people and some actually believing him. Krysta never once accused you or believed you were, the simple fact and thing was that he was a ticking temper bomb. And at any moment anything could trigger him to react to situations, even if it wasn’t that serious to need a reaction of his. And you remembered the nights Krysta had to lay awake with you. Comforting you through that heartbreak and false accusation of his, going far as to listen to you cry for hours, cry yourself to sleep. She had no words, only comfort by listening and you were forever thankful your sister would listen to you that long, putting her sleep schedule behind for you.

“Y/n. He thought you were cheating…that’s why you need to talk to him. You can’t keep letting the idea of him break you like this. I know somewhere deep down you wanna be with him” she frowned as she shakes her head. “But you can’t if you can’t speak to him, if you don’t. He’ll go his whole life thinking you wanted anyone but him.” She hums softly. Somewhere deep down, you knew Krysta was right. Even if you never ended up with Berlin again, she was right about clearing the air with him after the accusations. “Look. I’m gonna go use the restroom. Berlin’s here…” she mumbled before getting up to use the restroom. Somewhere in you, you couldn’t help but keep your head down as the guy brought the drink before walking away. Fighting the urge to turn around and glance at him, you missed him so bad, you wanted to look back at Berlin so bad.

But it seems, you didn’t have to glance to know he walked over to you. “So you’re out again.” He said as you look at him with a hint of curiosity before humming. “I came out to eat with Krysta.” You spoke, grabbing the drink to take a sip. “Are you sure that’s the cause?” He asked. Dear God no, there he goes giving attitude, that tone of being right, digging under your skin. And in this state of mind? You couldn’t help but grip the glass tighter. “Don’t accuse me of looking for a boyfriend.” Your tone now giving him the same attitude back. “Oh I thought you were very happy in that relationship of yours.”. And the sarcasm dripped off his tongue, how could he be just so, annoying with it.

Krysta watched in fear of what might come next. “You know. You don’t know anything about that night because you refused to listen. So is it really my fault that you remained stuck up and felt right? You thought I wanted to cheat on you?. Please Berlin, where’s the proof? Where is it besides the accusations your mind made because you’re mentally missing a screw to your brain?” You spat harshly as your voice held venom in it, desiring nothing than to prove his ass wrong for once. “Since you came here to put me on the spot. Let’s talk about you.” You huffed as you stood up, looking up at Berlin in annoyance. “How about the times you went clubbing with the guys and you had girls all upon you? Is it justified because you’re the man? Because it’s just, guy things? Please Berlin, educate me. Oh wait. You can’t because you don’t know shit from that night. Now bite your tongue. And walk away.”. You downed the drink, slamming the glass down before grabbing your bag and walking out the door. Krysta had quickly rushed to pay so she could see you, speak to you about this, but Berlin beat her to it when she noticed he was following you out to the car. Could you two get anymore worse?.

Berlin had grabbed your arm, stopping you from walking. “So you think drinking is going to help?” He asked as you groaned loudly. “What’s going to help? You weren’t so concerned about help when you left me. Wouldn’t listen to me! You know what Berlin!” You spoke loudly, pulling you arm away. “You can’t claim to love someone and be the reason love hurts. Did you ever love me if you don’t trust me? In fact. I’m done crying tears over you. I’m done crying and crying, and grieving a whole relationship you didn’t care about. You threw our three years worth of love down the drain for your ego! And you have the nerve to come at me like I want a man. I would have one if you didn’t mean shit to me. I never wanna speak to you again.” You huffed, walking to the car with the anger going through you. Deep down, your sober heart knew it spoke words, but half lies. How could you be over him? You weren’t and you did want to see him again. This is not what Krysta meant when she said to clear the air.

Sitting on the bed in your pajamas, Krysta had watched as you sighed heavily. “That liquor really makes you bold.” She said, trying to lighten the mood. “It does huh? I think I shouldn’t drink it anymore.” You replied more monotone. Never mind, cheering up the mood after that would not happen nor be easy. “No it was a good thing, Y/n. As your sister I think you need that release. This gives Berlin a chance to really consider what this whole breakup has done. To realize that he’s wrong, and to give you a chance. But I need to push you to do it. To make peace and if you never end up together again, who cares. You two have unspoken words. It’s obvious with that tension from earlier.” She nods her head, trying to encourage you to make the move to speak to him again. It would require something, that push.

“When I watched you two, I clearly noticed the tension and I noticed the hurt you both felt. He refuses to speak to you about it but don’t make it easy for him to avoid it till you speak your peace. Let it go. Off your chest. Talk.” She frowned as she rubs your arm gently. And you knew she was right, you two required peace. Something between you two, bad blood mainly, was the whole reason it felt the relationship was crumbling around the two of you. “I’ll try…”

Trying? Now it’s been three weeks and you had plenty of time to try and piece this back together and you couldn’t find a way to fix it. Berlin had took what you said to heart, and you figured he did when Jojo called to check on you and the subject of Berlin happened. Today was shop day, you got invited to go with your sister and some part of you wanted to decline but again it was Berlin, it was all fixable if you both allowed the other to express that heartache felt that night. Sticking the casual but cute outfit of yours, not wishing to stand out too much since your sister always had a thing in telling you what would be best to wear for something’s. She really was the best part of your heavy days.

Upon walking the mall in attempt to bring up the mood, your sister had been looking at outfits for you two. And everything was super cute for whatever plans might come up. “I’m telling you. You’ll look cute in this dress! Can’t go wrong with a bit of red unless it’s styled incorrectly.” She giggled as you chuckled behind her. “Right. Because red is the color everyone can magically pull off. But I guess trying the dress on wouldn’t hurt.” You nodded your head. She squealed with excitement before skipping away to find someone in the store that could give you some access to the changing rooms.

Standing by the clothes, and beautifully lined dresses, you hadn’t expected anyone else to be around. “Excuse me…just wanted to come over and say you were beautiful.” The guy spoke. That’s when your eyes looked at the guy, he was pretty handsome in your eyes. “Awe. Thank you.” You hum, giving a gentle smile. You’d hope with that he wouldn’t push too much, but it was worth a shot. He’d nod his head before giving a response. “I actually spotted you earlier and I got nervous so I couldn’t find the words to tell you that but I gained some confidence to come and say it now.”. Poor guy, he was nervous, no lying about that, but he also seemed the pushy type since he thought stepping closer would result in anything better.

“Could we maybe. Exchange numbers? Go out?” He asked, there it was, the date but it’s not a date, type of tone and question. He was pushing his luck. “Ah. Sorry but no thanks.” You chuckled nervously. Hopefully he’d walk away, no means no. Turning your back to walk away and quickly find your sister, he had only hummed. “Sure but you know, you could be a nice girlfriend. I’m sure just one date could prove that we would fit together?” He said. “And I think you’d be a perfect fit for even me.”. That’s when you felt his hand get placed on your shoulder. He was the type of pushy creeps that Berlin had always warned you about running into.

“No seriously. It’s fine.” This time your throat ran dry, nerves. “No really! I swear you’ll like it.” He nods his head with a large smile. This time, you felt the world crashing down but only for a moment. “She said No. now leave her alone.” The stern tone spoke from behind you two. Both turning around to spot Berlin, he looked like he was ready to kill the dude over this. “Now get away from her.” He said harshly. He was still protective huh? That was a good thing to know. “Move it.” Jojo cut in as the guy glanced at the two before quickly leaving the store. You finally felt the relief and ease of breathing, not realizing the guy had you holding a breath. “Thank you..both of you.” You spoke in a low tone. Keeping your eyes down as you didn’t know what to say. “We need to talk.” Berlin grabbed your hand, pulling you away as Jojo watched, clinging his tongue before Krysta stood beside him. “Where are they going?” She asked as he shrugs. “Either an argument or something else, I don’t know.”

Some part of you felt he had something to say but again he could just be using this moment to scold you and accuse you once again of something. That didn’t matter though, since you now stood outside of the mall. “Look Berlin. If you came to accuse me-“ you were cut off by his words. “I’m sorry.” He apologized. Your eyes had soften a bit as you glanced up at him with a bit of disbelief to his words. “What?” You raised a brow. “I’m sorry. I said. I’m sorry for the way I acted at the restaurant when it was just time for you and your sister.” He said. He sounded genuine, good. You felt good knowing he did in fact mean his apology to you. “Berlin…have something I need to say too…” you mumbled in a low whisper. He did still catch on, so he was all ears.

“Krysta told me to get this off my chest. And I owe that to you and myself.” You shake your head. “That night you accused me of cheating, I didn’t mean him at the club with my friends to cheat on you. I went there with them and he was there. But he’s not into women Berlin. Him and I have nothing but friendship for each other. But instead of explaining myself. I want to be honest. I can’t do this without you. I’m having such a hard time without you because I realize I love you too much to let go so easily. That shit at the restaurant? I didn’t mean one word from that.” You frowned

Just say it. “I’m really sorry.”

He needs to know. “I’ve cried and I realize..”

You can do it. “I realize I love you more than myself and I can’t do this life without you Berlin. I know it’s not helping you understand except the nights I stayed up crying and I’m grieving you! I’m grieving you and I just want you to not be mad at me! Because I’d never piss you off purposely! We may have our differences but my heart belongs to you and I’d never cheat! I’m in love with you and one day I wanna call you my husband! Berlin…”.

There it was. The truth. The nights you laid awake crying and imagining your life without him, it hurt, but finally you could be free from the words that held you down all along. “Y/n.” He grabbed your hips. “I love you too. And I’m sorry. And one day…I’ll be your husband because what I feel for you is there. And I miss you.” He admitted. He’d lean down, moving his lips to yours before giving you a loving and passionate kiss. A man of his words, and the relief felt great. “I misjudged your friends, I assumed they had knew all along but they didn’t, they didn’t know cause it was never true.” He frowned. “I made that up in my head and I accused you but it was wrong. It’s lonely not having you interrupt my recording with food and kisses and drinks. And I just want you to always be mine. I miss it. Waking up with you, I miss it.”

That felt good for the two of you, your relationship with him meant the world to you, Berlin had always been there. And the nights of lying awake and wanting to break down into tears. Was finally over because the two of you held the relationship into nothing but miscommunication. Something you’d be sure would never happen again.