#best incidental pun!!

[lazodiac]

There seemingly won't be a Planeswalker's Guide to Thunder Junction, sad to say, so it's time to stop delaying this.

Outlaws of Thunder Junction is the most recent Magic the Gathering set to release, taking place on a "fresh" plane- a place that has no sentient, sapient life. Initially populated by the Atiin people, nomads from another plane that moved here when the Omenpaths opened up the multiverse, everyone who decided to come on down to the Junction and make a new life for themselves has given themselves a bit of that old west flare.

But the question is; where are all our new friends from? In a burst of intellectual curiosity and bad decision making, lets actually do our best to figure that out, starting with... (some ground rules: only the subject matter of the card art matters. Instants and Sorceries will try to divine where the spell and cast are from to the best of my abilities. Please note this is mostly arbitrary.)

WHITE

... cool way to start. Based on the artistry of the Eversaloon's entryway I'm calling Kaladesh, it has the appropriate spirals.

The original printing of this card is Innistrad so you might be tempted to say this lovely lady is from there, but the style of wings, the way she is channeling Thunder through her gun, and the general vibe of the art tells me this is Dominaria.

This delightful feller is endemic to Thunder Junction! The armor has an Esperite flare but I'm counting this as not from another plane.

Aven Interrupter is our first one that's like, actually obvious. Owl aven have only been seen on Arcavios so until told otherwise, this friend is from there!

While we're seemingly not getting a Planeswalker's Guide for Thunder Junction, it was mentioned on twitter that Felidar are native to the plane. The particular design of the cat and horns suggest creatures native to the American West as well.

This abomination (Affectionate) of a pun features a local oxen and a Thunderous wind whipper. As much as a magical spell can be, this is from Thunder Junction proper.

Another native creature to the plane. I love the fluffy beards on these critters.

Now look at this bad boy! There's absolutely no known place in Magic the Gathering that a rabbit person like this could exist... yet anyway! I'm thinking this guy is from Bloomburrow (as is the Mole person from Murders at Karlov Manor, incidentally).

While this is noted as a spirit, the fact that it's an animus suggests to me this is more of a living mirage than an actual person. Native to Thunder Junction.

Eriette is the weirdly sympathetic wicked witch of the Wilds of Eldraine storyline, so this stunningly beautiful piece of artwork is from that storybook plane.

There's no real defining characteristics on this card to really peg where it's from... except! IT was mentioned on Twitter that Spree cards were meant to evoke big Western films, and this one is The Magnificent Seven... which means this lone survivor's from Kamigawa, because it'd be funny (and the spooky aura radiating out of these guys feels like a Reckoner thing). Hey, I did say these would be arbitrary sometimes.

The incredibly cool horse(?) of Annie "Haseya" Flash, one of the main stars of the story. Fortune comes and goes as she pleases, but Annie always finds her when the chips are down. I love this creature, and love Annie. I choose to believe Fortune's from the Atiin homeplane and came with her.

There are not a lot of places Dwarves can be from in Magic the Gathering... this doesn't have the exact sort of filigree you'd expect from Kaladesh, but consider the fine work and the tools being employed, this lovely fellow is likely from there.

The Sterling Company, our villainous lawmen for the plane! I'll talk about their leader later, but based on him, his style, and the impeccable fashion of his men, I'm saying they're from New Capenna.

Goddest boy in the multiverse Kellan Okoson is here to lasso an entire train to safety with his fey-natured vines. While I'd love to say this is from Eldraine because Kellan is from there, this is the natural fey-gifts he inherited from his shitty father, so they're from Oko's Plane.

This polite kidnapper is pretty clearly from Eldraine. I wonder what she left in the cacti's place though...

This is a tricky one. The way Thunder works on the ol' Junction is that it needs a loop to radiate through- thus the horsehoe on the blade. But that, plus the inner tang also being a loop, suggests this is a former Zendikari sword, modified from climbing equipment to chaos-channeling shock-sword.

Annie Flash digs up her past for one final job, and looks sweet as hell doing it. This is from the Atiin's plane, I'd reckon.

This guy could really be from anywhere, which is kind of the point of Thunder Junction- to give up your old life for a spell and see if a new you will work out. But the fact that his potions are so classical Fantasy Potions I'm saying he's from Dominaria.

This delightful little critter is native to Thunder Junction, and what a cutie he is. Did you know Prairie Dogs were a type of squirrel before seeing this card, because I didn't!

Fundamentally I have no real indication of where this guy could be from... but he's from Prosperity, the Sterling Company's roost, and his suit's got a bit of an armoured look to it... so I'm gonna say Kamigawa.

Look some of these just flatly aren't actually doable. The drones bouncing around suggests it could be from one of the planes that got those, but ultimately I think I'm going to have to put this as "yeah I got nothing".

I could have swore there was somewhere in the Wilds of Eldraine story that said these particular blue and white bovines belonged to the giants of the sky... and while I can't find it, I wanna say they're from Eldraine anyway. So I will, it just fits dangit!

This is definitely native to Thunder Junction. It's just got the vibe, you know?

Choke this one up to New Capenna- and if you think that's wrong, blame the Sterlings for having such fine coats.

Ditto for this one- though I'll note that the carriage and the train from the above card absolutely have that Kaladeshi vibe.

It' always fun to see what exactly gets turned into an instant or sorcery spell in flavor-first sets like this. This friend is from Thunder Junction, positive.

Another Sterling, another New Capenna ex-pat looking to make a name for herself. If it helps one of the city's of the plane, Omenport, leads directly to New Capenna, making it one of the most likely planes for people to naturally come from.

I will stop calling Sterling Company mooks New Capennan's when they stop looking like people from New Capenna. This is a sort of Aven you'd find there design wise.

Cute, designing a shield like a deputy star. This has no real markers signifying the people using it, but the subject of the art is clearly the shield itself, and this bad boy was made on Thunder Junction baby.

Only 30 images are allowed per port so check in soon for PART 2.

#Outlaws of Thunder Junction #Magic the Gathering #OTJ #planeswalker #white mana #nerd stuff

[rohirric-hunter]

A phrase that basically revolutionized my online interactions is, "It's the Lord of the Rings to them."

Let me explain. The Lord of the Rings is very important to me. So important, in fact, that I've kind of lost my sense of humor about it. Satire that plays off of it is at best uninteresting and at worst offensive; congratulations, you noticed the low-hanging fruit and bad pun that is Bored of the Rings, a pair of smarmy comedians long since beat you to it and their sense of humor sucked too, let me block you real quick. A lot of jokes regarding it strike me as distasteful, when in reality they're just jokes made by someone who casually enjoyed it, instead of shaping their entire personality around it like I did. Often when I express these frustrations people mistake this as me perceiving these people to not like it; this is not strictly true. I understand that they like it, but am bothered that they don't like it enough, or in the right way. "Tolkienesque" is a terrible word, as are other words that are on the surface level based on ideas from Tolkien's work but actually describe very different concepts from the ones they claim, such as "treant."

I'm working on my behavior with regards to these perceptions but that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is that the root cause of these perceptions is an overwhelming obsession with LotR that ends up inserting rather absurd bias into the most innocuous of interactions surrounding it. Mind that by "the most innocuous" I do not mean all interactions. I mean the most incidental interactions. Ones that involve low-effort jokes, questions about the story's logic that indicate a surface-level reading of it, dumb parodies, and people borrowing concepts from it simply because it's a behemoth in fantasy that most people are at least passingly familiar with.

A number of years ago I encountered a series of posts on here wherein someone was ranting about Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a book they had, by their own admission, not read). They tore apart the whole concept, swore up and down that it was the most disrespectful thing ever to disgrace Jane Austen, it was horrible, trashy, disrespectful that anyone would ever even think of turning such a great novel into a cheap horror story like that. (It's actually a genre comedy but I digress.)

I actually started to type up a response to them, that went something along the lines of: Hold up. You're taking this way too personally. You haven't even read it. Yes, it's overbearing and dumb in the first few chapters but let's be fair, so is Pride and Prejudice. It doesn't really pick up until after the Gardener's ball. You can't judge any book by the first few chapters. And the genre shift is actually really well done and emotionally satisfying as well as funny; the characters remain well characterized throughout and the different situation they find themselves in just shines a different spotlight on the themes of the story. As you get well into it you can really see how the author loved the original, and yeah it started an annoying fad of P&P genreshifts, but you can't blame it for that any more than you can blame the Hunger Games for modern YA. Sure, it has a few more dick jokes than I would like, but --"

And that's where I stopped, because suddenly it occurred to me that whoever this person was, they weren't going to care about any of those arguments. Nothing I could say would persuade them that it wasn't a big deal, actually, because to them it was. It was the Lord of the Rings to them. Pride and Prejudice, or perhaps Jane Austen's work in general, meant to them the same thing that the Lord of the Rings meant to me, and some idiot on the internet who read and enjoyed Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, of all things, was never ever going to convince them of anything at all with regards to those works. And, like, I disagree of course, but I get it. Where the thought is coming from. How can you improve on perfection? Why would you want to? The actual disconnect is whether or not any individual thinks of Pride and Prejudice (or the Lord of the Rings) as "perfection," but, like, why would you even want to get into that argument? Best case scenario, you're being annoying. Worst case scenario, you're actively trying to make someone hate something that they live and breathe.

So I deleted my response and moved on with my day and honestly I wasn't even mad about it. Sure, whoever this was could probably do with a little bit more self-awareness with regards to their own bias, but I certainly wasn't going to be the one to give them that. They'll come to it on their own. Or they won't. Either way, I can only make the situation worse by engaging. And since then I honestly try to live by that every time I see someone online taking something way too personally. I don't always succeed, but I try. It's stupid, it's bizarre, they're making mountains out of molehills, whatever, who cares. Take a deep breath. It's the Lord of the Rings to them. Let them have it, move on.

#i think a lot of people could stand to learn this #just see someone being annoying and taking everything personally and just repeat it like a mantra #'its [whatever hobby or interest forms the most foundational aspect of who you are] to them. let them have it'

[highladyluck]

Season 2, Episode 3 Liveblog

Teaser:

YES WE HAVE A DRAWL I REPEAT WE HAVE A DRAWL 🚨🚨🚨🪲🤠🚨🚨🚨

FANCY RED COAT RAND is here to steal your wine

My jaw DROPPED at Mat’s glow-up 😍🤩😘 I cannot WAIT for this man to be forcibly extracted from his bathrobe

Loved the Arches & ceremony, some word-for-word quotes there.

First real big surprise is Natti as Wisdom- I would not have thought she had the social standing for that, but otoh possibly the other options died? And it actually seems kind of plausible that she could even be taught to channel if you consider book canon (given Bode and Eldrin), though I don’t think that’s required.

Ooooooh ok I see why they picked Natti- they needed someone to twist the emotional knife in real good 🙃 Also you can see where Mat gets his moral core from, here- there’s a job and someone has to do it. But the jobs no one else wants/can do tend to SUCK, no wonder he tries to avoid them.

(Book Mat gets his values from his dad, but I think there’s probably a lot he got from Natti that he feels on an unconscious level/doesn’t talk about because it’s not at the level of talking, it’s at the level of doing. Relatedly, I keep thinking about a theory I heard that book Natti was a functional alcoholic; someone said that how early book Mat responds to sickness & interpersonal conflict reminds them of adult kids of alcoholics.)

I’m looking forward to the last ring >:)

HUH

I wonder if she had to gentle/kill Lan in there?

Still Peak Nyneave, honestly

OH MAN FAKEOUT YESSSSSSSSS we are getting the canon test!?

Incidentally I like that branded water jug

Where is Suroth getting her lip color? I like it

Oh that’s creepy, incredible horror movie move with the pointing

YES WE HAVE A DRAWL I REPEAT WE HAVE A DRAWL 🚨🚨🚨🪲🤠🚨🚨

The Voice sounds like the South Carolinan delegate (main villain) in the women & minority genders version of 1776 I saw recently. Incidentally, RJ lived in South Carolina.

Female soldier, check

Asymmetric haircut, check

Oh Uno, you are a good man

WOW … but actually that was exactly as dehumanizing and brutal as I would expect

May the last embrace of the mother welcome you home, Uno.

Perrin is gonna do a murder- oh I guess not

Lol Logain has Rand pegged

Hahaha the other fakeout is paying off now too (Logain looking at Mat and Rand in Tar Valon)

Oooh more book quotes!

Miss “I know everything” Selene

The Queen of Cairhein?!?

Glow-up! Glow-up!

Oooooof :(

Liandrin respected someone?

Mat is gonna have SUCH a complex after this, but otoh he’s probably heard worse from his mom

Mat wants to matter T_T

PEAK EGWENE

FANCY RED COAT RAND is here to steal your wine

I love Rand setting the letters on fire

Oooooooh class warfare, Rand is so offended

Wow, Rand is wasting no time

I love Rand being taught by Logain actually

Oh that is a DEEP CUT into WoT lore (pun intended), we know from Origins of the Wheel of Time that RJ was originally intending ‘gentling’ to involve actual castration

Rand are you sure you want to say that?

Oh interesting, does everyone hear LTT? Or just voices?

YAY reunion??? Oh, Mat. :(

Yeah Mat is scared out of his mind

Time for an interview with Ishmael! This reminds me of Mat’s first POV in book 3 actually, at least superficially, but it’s more like the dream meetings

Well done wolves!

So many cages and traps in this ep :D

Ooooof that betrayal’s gonna hurt later

Ooooh maybe we do not want to piss off Selene?

Oh good job setting the Foregate on fire, hero (inn fires 4 lyfe)

Ooooooh yeah Egwene would try to bring Nyneave back

Elayne, a rule follower? Well, when it comes to thinking she knows best, she would be a rule enforcer.

Nyneavelet is very cute

My jaw DROPPED at Mat’s glow-up 😍🤩😘 I cannot WAIT for this man to be forcibly extracted from his bathrobe

Awwww Mat can pay off all his debts in Nyneave’s fantasy world 😭

Ah I see Nyneave’s fantasy world is real enough that it involves visits from the main plot conflict 🧐

“What’s that” is Mommy’s rage-triggered ticket home, sweetie

Oooooooof.

#wheel of time #wot on prime #wot on prime spoilers #wot on prime s2 #WoT on prime s2e1 #some comparison of book stuff here but I think I am being vague enough for this to be safe for show-onlies

[smells-like-mettaton]

Big word asks- 6 for sans

Okay, Jump

Rating: G Word Count: 526 Prompt: hiraeth - a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past Read on AO3: here

XXX

There’s only one place in the Underground where it “rains.” The dripping area of Waterfall is dark, and damp, and smells like lichen and mold. The puddles soak through his slippers, but it’s a small price to pay for the Underground’s best water sausages. 

That’s why he’s here, if anyone asks. Just a normal guy picking some ‘dogs. 

He tilts his head to the ceiling as he plucks the sausages from their stalks. Water drips on his skull, slides inside his nasal cavity. Makes him sneeze. 

Heh. Even that’s familiar. 

(Not quite the same without anyone to laugh at him, though.)

“NGAHHHH!!!” 

His eyesockets widen at the shout. He blips to the left just in time to dodge the monster leaping down from the ledge above. 

She lands directly in a deep puddle, soaking him with a tsunami-like splash. The water sausages in his arms go soggy and limp.

“Fuhuhuhu! Did you see that—? Wait, who the heck are you.” She squints at him, with her one eye that isn’t covered with an eyepatch. Her red hair is pulled up in a high ponytail.

(He’s seen her before. “Somewhere else.” She had both her eyes, there-then.)

“Oh, nobody.” He winks. Somewhere, an incidental cymbal crash plays. She won’t hear it, though.

“I know all the nobodies around here. Not like a lot of monsters are trying to move to Waterfall.” She splashes around him, her steps purposely wet and loud. He can appreciate that. 

“Woah, who said anything about moving? I’m just here for the grub.” He wiggles the water sausages in his arms. “Name’s Sans, though. Sans the skeleton.”

He holds out a hand. The water sausages stay balanced perfectly in place.

“Captain Undyne, of the Royal Guard!” She shakes his hand, her grip more solid than any of his memories. 

PTHBTTTTTTtttt, the whoopie cushion in his palm goes, and Undyne lets out a wheeze.

“That’s pretty good! I can do you one better, though!” 

She sandwiches her hand under her armpit, and with her covered in puddle water, it makes the grossest, wettest fart sound he’s ever heard.

He doubles over cackling. His blue-magic grip on the sausages falters, and they plop in the puddle below. All the dirt’ll come out when he grills them, anyway. If it doesn’t, that’s just more minerals, or something. He’s still not real sure how nutrients work in this universe where food converts straight to energy.

“You really know how to toot your own horn, huh?” He grins.

“That was terrible!” She laughs again. 

“Tear-able jokes are my specialty. It’s the best way to rip ‘em.”

Her laugh trails off into a groan. Oh well. Everyone’s got their limit for fart puns. 

“Well, it was nice to meet you, Sans the skeleton. I’ve still got three hundred fifty-two puddles to jump in, though, so I’ll have to see you around. Enjoy your stay in the best part of the Underground! Fuhuhu!”

With that, she splashes away, leaving him to scoop his bounty of ‘dogs off of the marshy ground. 

Water still drips on his skull. It’s kinda nice to have a new memory to pair with it.

#sans #undyne #sans & undyne #fic tag #tali writes #prompt requests #hope you enjoy!! #the new deltarune ''raining'' gif had me thinking about otherworld sans so #thought it was a good time to finally take a crack at this one #this wasn't what i was expecting to write but here we are #also undyne here is based off the ''jump in 1000 puddles'' phone call which is my favorite ever #undertale 7th anniversary

[jeannereames]

Do you think the historical Alexander could really admire someone like Diogenes?

First, my apologies. I got swamped last week and didn’t have a chance to reply.

Short answer: Yes, I do. Apparently, so did a lot of people in the ancient world, who invented their meeting and then kept sharing it.

I doubt the infamous “Get out of my sun” incident ever happened. It’s a little too precious.

That said, I could see Alexander nursing a certain admiration for Diogenes, perhaps even trying to look him up. Of course, ATG was Aristotle’s student and later exchanged quite a number of letters with him. He also exchanged letters with Xenokrates (head of Plato’s Academy in Athens), Aristotle’s rival. Reputedly, while in Egypt, he also sought out “philosophers” (e.g., priests) while there. And he had his own pet gymnosophist from India, Kalanos. Plutarch makes much of his attraction to philosphy (and it’s Plutarch who recounts/made up the meeting with Diogenes), BUT it seems based on real interest. The debate with the Indian philosophers in Plutarch’s Alexander is almost surely invented, as is the Diogenes story. But the other stuff isn’t.

The reason I could see Alexander intrigued by/admiring of Diogenes is simply that Diogones said what he thought and didn’t kowtow. If he’d been a “mere commoner” doing that, Alexander wouldn’t have put up with it, but philosophers, even the Cynics, had high status. And Alexander wanted to be seen as an educated man.

On the off-chance the exchange actually did happen, or something close to it, What’s the best way to recover face after being “blown off”? To laugh about it, of course.  (And to express admiration for the cheek.) It also helps that, at the time of the supposed encounter, ATG was still young, He may have lost some of his sense of humor as his sense of his own importance grew. 😉

Incidentally, while I don’t think the encounter actually happened, at least not as Plutarch tells it, I will include an encounter with Diogenes in book 3 of Dancing with the Lion.

Below is one of my favorite takes on the whole thing. Not only is it dogs, but a great pun on what “cynic” meanes: kunos…hound/dog.

#asks #Alexander the Great #Diogenes #ancient Greece #ancient philosophy #Alexander the Great and philosophers #Classics #tagamemnon

[theverynerdypikachu]

A Hail to Skadi

~ I know, bad pun. This prayer is for the Cold Lady, the one who incidentally helped me tough through a blooming cold as I was learning to shoot, which resulted in me blowing the target off the post because my aim took a sudden uptick in improvement. Invoking her during that lead to ritual a few weeks later, and I feel it may be best to write something for her today. Washed my hands and now I'm ready. ~ Hail Skadi, Huntress Of The Mountains, the Cold One, the Resilience of Winter. 'Twas you that fateful day showed, when I felt my energy soaring with nature around me. You teach me that not every day has to be a down one, especially as the days get shorter, nights getting longer. Humans like their warmth, and sometimes, the warmth of the hearth after a good hunt is more than enough. Behind all the dark and cold, there is a light, and a hearth alive with that I seek. For this, I praise and remember you. Keep us this winter, that we may know peace in the harsher days to come, and I shall work to keep the hearth burning, and the home protected from the beating winds and weather inclement. To you, I shall devote all the time I can in nature. So let it be.

#heathen #norse pagan #heathenry #prayer #skadi

[swearyshera]

It's beginning to look a lot like... ask time!

@jidblogger I'm also kind of liking the idea that she's trying to save face and boasting that it's not her first murder by going into gory detail - but it's so obviously made up that DT immediately knows she's the kind of person who apologises for swatting a fly.

Season 4 will do a very good job of destroying Catra mentally. Incidentally, Shadow Weaver's lines about Catra's head being broken were changed quite late on (i.e. this morning); the originals had her make reference to Catra being mentally ill and Glimmer's best bet to be "just wait", but that left a bit of a horrible taste, even by Shadow Weaver standards.

Basically! And it's interesting the way you describe Prime, because he's been giving me some issues to think about - so I'd like to open it up to you, the reader, for your thoughts.

I want Prime to be a dick. I want him to be exactly that kind of homophobic, 'i-will-make-you-straight-for-your-own-good', self-important asshole who sees a planet full of queer people and makes that a target. And then I look at the world, I look at the news of 'Don't Say Gay' laws and anti-trans rhetoric becoming more common and I find it so difficult to reconcile making a character on a comedy blog the type of person who is actively harming me, my friends and my readers.

But then I think towards the finale, and how he gets defeated. Isn't it a good thing to show that sort of hatred being beaten? Doesn't it give some hope that we'll win in the end? Do people want to read through episodes where it looks like the anti-queer bigot is going to convert the whole planet to his views if they're rewarded with a satisfying end to his bullshit? Maybe we need to see queer love win out in the face of overwhelming terror.

Comedy can be about puns and slapstick, but it can also be about using humour to deal with difficult stuff. I love both types, but it's the darker end of the spectrum that I enjoy writing most - the scene with Shadow Weaver telling Catra, while she's hurting her, that she sent her a birthday card once, before realising that, no, that was Adora; Entrapta breaking the fourth wall as Catra has a breakdown in front of her. I want to carry on pouring bathos over the painful moments, and giving you emotional whiplash. But I don't want it to be too real to people that it hurts. And of course, I can do that in many ways - I can tone down parts of the planned storyline, I can avoid using specific words (as I do with Shadow Weaver, see if you can guess which one) and specific phrases, I can be really careful with how I do things.

But is that enough? I am in a genuine dilemma and asking for opinions - I may not publicly respond to them all for many reasons, but I'd love to know - should Prime's goal be to stop queer people across the universe? Do we want to see the subtext from the show made text in today's world?

[boardingschoolforgirls1970s]

School strikes

In the 1970s there was various Acts of Parliament that gave equal rights to women, and many women celebrated such things as equal pay and equal employment rights. All very good for the women but one thing not considered was the punishment of girls at school. Whereas boys regularly had to bend over and be caned hard on their botton, with trousers and underpants for protection (or often very little protection) some Head Teachers said that if equality was the 'new thing' then girls too would be thrashed with the cane, the same as boys! Most girls at state schools had never let the Headmaster see their knickers let alone know the terror of waiting outside the Headmaters office and then called in to bend over the desk or touch their toes, and have their skirt pulled up, and be caned on their school knickers. Perhaps the teacher caned them through their skirt and knickers as severely as the did the boys. However, either way this was very shocking to girls in state schools who were often let off with a lesser punishment or none at all. Was writing lines equal punishment to being thrashed; I don't think so, therefore the only lines they got were in their knickers, across their bottom!

Therefore if the Head teacher introduced 'equal punishment' for and equal breaking of the rules, far more girls would have been caned and depending on the school, girls might not have been spanked either, so with equal treatment, they had that shameful experience to look forward to.

Obviously it made very little difference to us as we were caned anyway, but for a time there was trouble relating to this matter, and teachers sometimes had to go to a sitdown strike, and threaten to thrash a girls bottom, there and then, if they did not return to class. When you think about it, it wasn't fair if a boy got 6 of the best and a girl just got told off!

Incidentally the girls holding the protest sign and near it have the shortest skirts I have seen from that time and if they had been at Boarding School at that time, they would all have been severely caned on ther knickers. There skirt length almost suggests that they were taunting their Headmaster but they might have been sorely disappointed (pardon the pun) the next day at school. As we used to joke 'given lines' by the Headteacher was code for across the bottom under the knickers!

BTW - The sign the girls are carrying say NO to the cane. It would be slightly odd to have Yes to the cane but I guess some might have agreed in married life!

[ruffboijuliaburnsides]

Rhubarb and/ or sunset!! For the fic ask meme

a favorite snippet of dialogue

I have many, so one from my most recent completed fic and one that I haven't published yet, how about?

from Rise to the Tops of the Trees:

Grian snorted. "No, best get it done soon before I chicken out, right?" Jimmy fell silent for a long moment. "...Tim?" Grian ventured. "Was..." Jimmy made a small strangled noise, "was that a bird pun?" Pearl burst out laughing as Grian spluttered indignantly. "Not intentionally, you lunatic! Go! Drive safe! Get off my phone!"

And for the unpublished one... there's nothing that actually goes with this, it just came to me wholecloth and I had to write it down.

"Statement of GoodTimesWithScar, on an encounter with a pyromaniac. Statement Begins." "So now can I tell you about it?" "Don't you sound so exasperated, you're the one who didn't think it was potentially supernatural that someone attacked you by setting themselves on fire and survived it." "Listen, weird things happen! I'm not going to judge someone based on their ability to survive self-immigration!" "Oh my god."

a chunk of description that I’m proud of

So... I tend to write dialogue more than I write memorable descriptions, so idk if this is so much description as just narration/prose that I'm pleased with, but this part in raised by wolves and voices is just still very delightful to me:

Nobody in their cohort liked Lambert. They brought him a few weeks after Julian made a decision in the dandelion patch. He shouted and screamed and had bitten two full-grown witchers and cussed like he was a grown up (a really rude one), not like an 8-year-old. He snarled at the other boys and tried to kick the door open after they'd been put in the dormitories for the night with the door locked so he couldn't get out and get in trouble, like they did with a lot of the new boys, and he basically disrupted everything for half a week until their minders had given up and put him in a private room, where he'd at least be less likely to disturb people. Julian thought he was the best.

Aaaaand ngl I'm a sucker for the opening of Rise to the Tops of the Trees, I'm just very pleased with it.

When he was 16, Grian fell in with a bad crowd. Well, that wasn't really fair. Really what happened was that when he was 16, his best friend got caught up with a sadistic murderer in the body of a teenaged boy named Sam and Grian got caught up in their wake. For a few months, Grian's life stopped making sense, and by the time it was over he had scars, a disability, an arrest record, an expulsion, and enough trauma to fill years of therapy, if he ever went. He did not go to therapy, incidentally, but at least he was self-aware enough to admit he probably should.

#writing about my writing #askbox meme #keep you safe #rbwav #tha

[sdyuteiaok]

Ok, liking this Saturated Crayon brush for a sketcher. In Draft news, opened another Rhino, though I already had a playset from the anthology, so that's back to back drafts with Siegie, but unfortunately only got to three wins this time since I had just absolutely mediocre cards otherwise. I wound up splashing black and red and being mainly green white, which is already a red flag, since you don't want to be core in the allied colors, but I just wasn't seeing good gold cards, or enemy duals. I did pick up an on-color fetch, though, so we're making progress where it really counts, I suppose. I had an equal splash for black and red, since my incidental duals I could get made them essentially free. The only tough spot, which I anticipated encountering, was my Rite of the Serpent, which is double black, but I had to rely on it being so expensive to buy me time to get the second black source. As feared, there was one game or maybe even two where it was stuck in my hand, but fortunately one time I was able to pitch it to a discard effect. But this was the long-feared draft where I actually had less than 23 playables! It finally happened--so far, I've just squeaked by and gotten just enough picks by the time I enter deckbuilding, but this time I was definitely a couple cards short, so I happily ran 18 lands, which is the norm this format anyway, but I also tossed in a red splash morph--maybe I coulda gone for broke and played a straight-up red card, since I might as well have a potential game swinger, but I went with the 5/2 red over the "lil' guys can't block, raid: get a counter 2/1" girl. Maybe I coulda gone with my all must block green spell, but, like I said, my creatures weren't really formidable, pun unintended--I was mainly pecking away in the skies on the backs of my 2/1 free flips, as well as my outlasters stalling the ground and Parapet performing both of those roles. So we were definitely a card or two short of something we could have turned into at least 5 wins, but our card quality just wasn't there, so it was all about salvaging, and 3-3 is acceptable in that case. I see there are some new bundles in the store and I'd love to be able to get rid of my hideous default snow lands, but they're a little pricey, and I'd prefer to use my gold to draft if my gem count ever gets too low. But man, the default snow lands are mostly quite ugly, and I wish I didn't have to see them. The full arts they have up now aren't the best, but they're certainly upgrades. But I also want to get the LOTR alt art bundle, so that's a chunk of change all together, so hopefully I can keep on the gem side of drafting while I accumulate some Gs. Oh, the manland bundle would also be nice, but maybe only one or two of those are actual art upgrades, and a couple are even downgrades...so less bummed to miss that bundle, all things considered. Just gotta win more.

#studies #gesture drawing #imagination #digital

[deityofhearts]

Crystalline my dear tumblr blog! I have wonderful news!

First- I spent, frankly, too long zooming in and out of the orca plushie from the sea creatures thing you reblogged.

Second- Today I made my first step in being out. I’m asexual. It’s hard and scary to say that. The ace flag has always made me really happy, but... I can’t exactly have it and be safe. BUT!!Alongside orcas, I also like Monster Hunter. So I made a painting of a Mizustune using the ace flag colors. It’s a tiny step, but it’s a safe one. And it makes me happy.

So thanks. You’ve still been a big inspiration for figuring myself out. And things are going pretty swimmingly- (the orcas drag me away from the keyboard for my incidental nautical pun crimes)

Hell yeah every rica I reblog is for you first and foremost!

Secondly omg I’m so happy for you!! It’s so wonderful figuring yourself out and being comfortable and confident in your identity!!! I deffo understand your worries and I’m glad you’re able to find comfort, I am wishing you the best always!!!

Aw omg that’s so sweet of you to say, admittedly I’m still like having a hard time knowing my shit, as of rn I have “gayass” in my bio because it’s far easier to go “yea I’m *vague gesture* gay” than it is anything else, some days I think maybe I was right years ago and that I am aro ace other times I consider if I’m bisexual or ??? I still have no real grasp on what i am yet but I’m trying to be less like, anxious about it like I don’t HAVE to know I’m allowed to just be Gay and call it a day! The pun was wonderful, you will be missed

#deity dialogue #asks #nonnie #orca anon #it’s always so funny when ppl tell me I’ve been able to help them figure stuff out ahdjfjkt #I’ve been avoiding talking about my own deal with like sexuality because it doesn’t really matter to other people but like #p much I’m just like ??? #I know I’m not straight but I don’t know if I truly like idk what I am #and again im like accepting that that’s fine I don’t need to be super certain I don’t have to have a label rn

[stylishanachronism]

Rose~, mossy moss (it's always the best kinds), ourple :), and mint

I forgot to mention pumpkin as well, I'm sorry, that vegetable has traumatized me too much with multiple litres of soup in my fridge.

Rose~: why are you still on this hellsite ur too nice for it

.....well for one there's nowhere else *to* go that isn't worse, and for two I would miss you, so here I stay!

Mossy moss: I follow you so I know what crimes you'll commit next

Many crimes. Much crimes. I'm attempting to finish *anything* so that I can commit more crimes but like..... it's very hard okay. I've got a half dozen things that are like two paragraphs away from being finished, but unfortunately they're all like, the last two paragraphs so I can't even half ass it and call it done because that's the most memorable part

Ourple :) : why are you so funny it's not fair

Practice! Like, 99% of being funny is timing and it is a hard won skill. Also a very low bar for hilarity. And the puns. I've never met a pun I could resist.

Mint: this is a threat we're gonna go bake cookies :D

Joke's still on you kitchen sink cookies are *wild*, but also incidentally I'm probably making a lemon meringue pie this weekend so like, that's happening.

Pumpkin: sorta kinda fangirl everytime you post

I continue to be delighted that you like my nonsense, and that you find the whole sheep/agriculture aspect charming, since I'm very aware it's a niche subject. .....Though I should probably actually, y'know, get around to talking about the sheep properly instead of talking around the sheep, just maybe a little.

#thank you for memeing me!!! #good news we're traumatizing amounts of pumpkin soup buddies we *also* made too much of it #doesn't really fit in the fridge too much of it #fed it to work and still had too much too much of it #this is the hesitation behind the pie because one we do need to use the huckleberry lemon curd #but two we can't eat a whole pie in one sitting where will we put it???? #I am so incredibly fucking close to being done with st atigenos v artblock I'm going to die #but I literally cannot figure out how to tie the front half to the back half again without like...... making this six stories #also the pun is still mean and I still haven't thought of a better one :(

[thecatprince]

When you are creating characters and you accidentally make an awesome pun!! BEST FEELING!!

#cat.txt #the princesses ‘love interest’ is aroace (like the princess (that’s why i used love in quotation marks)) #and she is a plant mage (for no particular reasons i just felt like it fit her) and because when she learnt to control her plant power #she had to spend hours meditating and connecting with the earth and focusing on like a single blade of grass #and so that made her insanely good at like calming herself down and focusing in on herself and her surroundings #which allows her to use her powers realy well but is also an excellent skill to becoming an archer #and so she is an archer too #and just..... she’s aro.... and an archer..... and like arrow sounds like aro... and just it is AMAZING!!!!!!! #best incidental pun!! #also they are a demigirl (she/they pronouns) #they were meant to be the knight but their personality just doesn’t fit it so yeah their an archer and a plant mage!!! #also an amazing character!!

[coquelicoq]

Can I say i feel you so much about the untamed? Started with a few gifs on my dash and im like hey BEAUTIFUL BOYS what is this about so cute (cute gusu times) and started watching when it was around 20eps released and im still deep in the untamed rabbit hole SEND HELP I'm looking for untamed/xiaozhan/wangyibo videos and news everyday now HALP (1/?)

Xiaozhan is the gentlest soul and so kind and precious boy with the voice of an angel and he holds umbrellas for people even if he himself is under the rain; Wangyibo is this cool+kid+straight talking guy mix it’s adorable plus he’s maximum awkward around girls did i mention he’s a pro motorcycle racer and that boy can DANCE. Im into this hole too deep and i cant get out ahhhhh i’ve been stuck on YT and bilibili for WEEKS. (2/2)

ohoho anon, you have come to the WRONG PLACE if you want to get out of the rabbit hole (lwj popping his head over the fence: did somebody say rabbits??). i cannot help you. i, too, have fallen deep into this abyss. if you want the cold hard numbers, there are now 431 posts in my #the untamed tag, and i’m only 14% of the way through the episodes, anon!! it will be weeks and weeks before i even get to the end of the show, let alone before some semblance of normalcy trickles back into my life. this journey has only just begun. (to my poor followers who don’t care about the untamed and know that i haven’t shut up about it for two gd months: i’m sorryyyyy)

so, uh, good luck to both of us. i’ll be chillin in this warren for the foreseeable future, honey buns, so at least you’re not alone. i’ve planted myself in this field of feels and i think i’ll romaine here for quite some time. hop on over anytime you want to say hay! leaf me an ask about all the mdzs meta you’re munching on! lettuce scream together about this epic tail of love and loss and bunny rabbits!!! et celery, et cetera. you know the dill.

and anon? i think you’re radicchio and i’m rooting for you. if the feels are kale-ing you, you don’t have to green and bear it alone. this show is giving all of us emotional cabbage and we all have to take carrot each other, so do me a salad and turnip in my asks anytime. i’ll lend you a long floppy ear, because there but for the grass of god go i. there but for the grass of god go us all.

#the untamed #puns #food mention #i don't know if you chose the term 'rabbit hole' on purpose but i couldn't help myself #SORRY EVERYBODY IT'S PUN O'CLOCK HERE ON HOWDYDOWDY DOT THUMPER DOT POM POM #wow i sure learned a lot about what rabbits eat in the course of answering this ask #re: the second half of your ask. i can't say i am spending a lot of time exploring the actors' other work or watching interviews or anything #but i wish you the best there as well. they seem very talented so uh good luck ever running out of content to obsess over lol #asks #anon #rabbit hole anon #linked to #punnies #if anybody needs me to explain a pun just lmk because some of them are...a stretch haha #and some of them might only work in my accent (assuming they work at all lol) #i think there's...17 total? if you only count grass of god once #19 if you count the tags lol #omg wait i just realized it was 1am when i wrote this...i didn't even do pun o'clock on purpose...what kinda galaxy subconscious #only 19 bunny puns though. the others are incidental and don't count

[thecreaturecodex]

Mock Turtle

Image by deviantArt user Snugglestab, accessed at their gallery here

[Two turtle monsters in two days? What is this madness?]

Mock Turtle CR 2 LN Magical Beast This creature appears to be an enormous sea turtle with the head of a calf. It stands on its hind flippers and bears a morose expression.

Mock turtles are knowledgeable and somewhat doleful creatures of the oceans. They value scholarship and learning, but most other creatures value them for their delicious flesh. Mock turtle meat has the best attributes of beef and turtle, and they are widely hunted by creatures that either underestimate their intellect or simply don’t care. As such, mock turtles are disenchanted and distrustful with most other sapient creatures, and without a stronger creature to protect and shelter them, spend most of their time sulking and weeping.

A mock turtle would rather flee than fight, and try to avoid combat whenever possible. If they are cornered, they use their pent up emotions to emit a mournful cry that infects others with their sorrow. Their flippers can be made into serviceable clubs, but they usually fight defensively if at all, trying to live long enough to open an avenue of escape or for allies to show up.

The one species that gets along well with mock turtles are merfolk, who value their analytical minds. Mock turtles may find employment as teachers or etiquette coaches—despite, or perhaps because, of the frequent danger to mock turtle lives, they have a passion for propriety. Mock turtles have been known to chide the cleanliness of kitchens as they are about to be butchered. They have a passion for dancing, singing and puns.

Despite both components of its chimerical form being air breathers, a mock turtle can breathe perfectly well underwater and in air. They are more comfortable in salt water than in fresh.

Mock Turtle       CR 2 XP 600 LN Large magical beast (aquatic) Init -1; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Perception +7 Defense AC 15, touch 8, flat-footed 15 (-1 size, -1 Dex, +7 natural) hp 22 (4d10+4) Fort +5, Ref +3, Will +3 Immune sonic Defensive Abilities withdraw Offense Speed 20 ft., swim 50 ft. Melee 2 slams +5 (1d6+2) Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft. Special Attacks mournful cry Statistics Str 14, Dex 8, Con 13, Int 14, Wis 11, Cha 13 Base Atk +4; CMB +7; CMD 16 Feats Alertness, Iron Will Skills Knowledge (local, nature) +5, Perception +7, Perform (dance, sing) +2, Sense Motive +7, Swim +10; Racial Modifiers +2 Knowledge (all) Languages Aquan, Common, Draconic SQ amphibious, bardic knowledge Ecology Environment any coastlines and ocean Organization solitary, pair or school (3-6) Treasure incidental Special Abilities Bardic Knowledge (Ex) A mock turtle gains bardic knowledge as if it had bard levels equal to its racial Hit Dice. Bard levels stack with mock turtle racial Hit Dice for the purpose of determining bonuses. Mournful Cry (Su) As a standard action, a mock turtle can let loose a wail of despair, effecting all creatures that can hear it in a 30 foot radius. All creatures in the area must succeed a DC 13 Will save or begin to sob for 1d4+1 rounds. A sobbing creature is treated as sickened, and suffers a 20% miss chance on all attack rolls because of the tears in its eyes. A creature that does not rely on vision does not suffer this miss chance. A creature that succeeds this save is immune to the mournful cry of that mock turtle for the next 24 hours. This is a mind influencing, sonic, emotion effect, and the save DC is Charisma based. Withdraw (Ex) A mock turtle gains a +2 bonus to its natural armor whenever it fights defensively or takes a total defense action.

#mock turtle #alice in wonderland #pathfinder 1e #chimera

[soaptaculart]

ok i know u said u wanted to cut back on the karmic conviction stuff but I GOTTA ASK DO U HAVE A DESIGN 4 THE FORENSIC SCIENTIST GUY?????? cuz u said the masterminds a secret so i wont ask abt that but im rllllly curious :0

(referencing a character mentioned in this post)

I'M HONESTLY FLATTERED THAT PEOPLE ARE INTERESTED IN THE NITTY GRITTY PLOT STUFF I don't have a solid design for him just vibes. He'd be a very generic doofy looking scientist. Big ol spiral glasses and all. Like this

His design would be slightly more interesting than that but not Too interesting bc it's supposed to be a twist that he's like, relevant

Incidentally we haven't been able to come up with a good name for him. Does anyone have a good pun name for a doofy forensic scientist. The best we have is like. Dean Sample but I think it must be possible to come up with a more inspired name than that

#anon #soapspeak #karmic conviction #incidentally the big bad wouldn't be a secret if we had all the details figured out yet hrfghdsj #we're struggling to settle on an idea of what she does even tho we have a lot of ideas about her in general #it's a her tho. i think we need more evil and sinister women #karmic conviction is really just by women for women and about women huh #(jk it's for everyone<3) #i drew something #i guess lol