do i let feminism lose and spend all of my savings on a rhinoplasty or do i continue to just. live Like That lol
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I am currently having many exams from which it depends if i could enter the med uni I want and have been stressing so much the past year, but your fics have been such a massive help i simply could not not thank you. When I am reading them it genuienly feels like the stress leaves my body and to be honest i would have probably gone insane without them 😅 Thank you so much for sharing them, you have no idea what a blessing they were and are to me ❤
‘It genuinely feels like the stress leaves my body’ ranks as one of the greatest things anyone has ever said about my writing, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it<3
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EXACTLY LIKE THAT uni has been killing me but i'm trying to Revive. YOUR ART IS SO AWESOME BTW I WAS CHECKING UR ACC JUST NOW my jonmartins ...
ARRGG.... i feel u on getting the life sucked out of you by academias im the same. but we will both make a comeback and FLOOR that shit
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so tomorrow i have the second to last exam (its a verbal exam) before like graduating and like. i started studying only a few days ago bc i can‘t rly fail it anymore but suddenly for the first time ever i got ambitious about a math grade (or like. THE math grade) and i haven‘t done much other than studying today and my brain is fried and i don’t understand how anyone could ever possibly decide to study a lot out of their own free will more than once lol
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10.5: love 》 series m.list
note: we made it !!! i am so incredibly grateful for everyone's love and support with c2u <3 meeting u all was so fun ,, answering ur asks and interacting thru comments truly made my day ! i'm glad i was able to share this silly goofy concept and have it well received . as usual ,, please lmk ur thots !!! i have 3 extras that will be posted soon (ie: their first hook up, a comfort scenario, and one final smut extra) so please look forward to those !!! thank u for ur patience ,, all the love 💗
warnings: sex tape vibes (kind of), pussy eating (nom nom), fucking LOL ... dirty talk & creampie! easy shit yk? lmaoo
taglist request: CLOSED
🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main @ellesalazar
//
As much as Jungkook loves to play soccer for the glory, he loves it best alone.
When the bleachers are empty and the field is wide and free—that’s when he feels the most love for his sport. To others, it comes off as lonely and sad but to him; it’s serenity. Sometimes, it’s the only place he feels like he can truly be himself. It’s a place where he doesn’t have to be anything to anyone. It’s a place where he can be lost and found at the same time. It’s also his go-to place when he can’t sleep. Jungkook hasn’t slept well in weeks. He figured it was time to be in his own space.
His haven.
His favourite part has got to be when he plays so hard that he doesn’t even notice the world is waking up. The moment Jungkook looks up and sees the sunrise—he always gets this feeling in the pit of his stomach. It’s an easiness that can’t be explained.
It’s an incredible relief.
When he sees the sun, he stops playing. He takes a break and sits down to watch the sun bloom on the horizon. There’s so much bliss in the stillness of the world. He feels so much clarity when it’s just him, the net, and the ball. It’s like nothing else matters and his mind can focus on one thing: winning.
Jungkook has only done these late-night sessions a handful of times in his life.
The first time was the day before Uni tryouts and he doubted his talent. Everyone kept telling him he had nothing to worry about, but that didn’t make him feel any better. To Jungkook, his luck was just like everybody’s. He was afraid of it not coming through when he needed it the most. Therefore, he worked his ass off regardless of his luck history.
Note: Jungkook was the first in his year to get in.
The second time was when he fucked up at a game and cost his team a minor setback. It wasn’t the end of the world—he just felt like shit.
The third time was the day he redeemed himself and scored the winning goal that got the team to championships. It was the best game he had in a while. It was also the first time felt tired of it. Tired of the game, tired of the play… Just tired.
The fourth time was when he decided to take a break from soccer and tend to his burnout… Eventually, he came back after a few months. Of course, he did. He loves soccer more than anything in the world…
That was until you.
He didn’t go back to the field and have a session to himself to celebrate. No, he celebrated with you instead. You didn’t know and he never told you… But that’s what he did. The first day he came back to soccer, he went to you right after. With you, he found rest.
That’s when he realized something…
He wasn’t tired anymore.
At least, whenever he was with you.
He wasn’t tired. That’s all he could really ask for, right? To fall in love with someone that was his safety net.
The fifth time would be today.
Jungkook has been out here since 3AM, kicking the ball and practicing drills. It upset him, to be honest. He thought being here would help ease his heart. Everything feels so clogged up and messy to him. It’s like no matter what he does to try to clean up his mess, everything stains. So, he thinks to himself that maybe if he ran enough laps or kicked the ball hard enough—it would stop.
The mess.
The yearning.
The loving.
But it doesn’t.
No, instead his heart continues to ache. As he clenches it every so often, he thinks of you. Then, for a second, his heart is still. In the stillness, he tries to think of good things around him.
At least the rain wasn’t pouring as hard as it was an hour ago.
At least the sun is coming up and it’s a new day.
At least you were here—
Wait.
You’re here?
Jungkook rubs his eyes. Partly due to disbelief and partly because the rain made it hard to see you clearly. Yet, somehow… In his heart, he knows it. He knows it’s you.
How’d you know where he was? More importantly, why are you here?
Why was his heart racing so fast again?
Be still.
He isn’t sure of what to do. Should he wave? Should he call your name? Are you here on accident?
Considering it’s almost 6AM… It can’t be an accident, right?
Just as much as Jungkook’s head begins to fill with questions, yours does too. As you walk closer and closer to him, you can’t help but only hear your heartbeat pound louder and louder. Is this normal? To feel like your heart could jump out of your chest if it meant getting to him faster? You let your mind spin.
Why the fuck are you here?
What are you doing again?
Did you write everything down?
You sure felt a lot braver ten minutes ago… Suddenly, seeing him has made you doubt all the courage you worked to have for this moment. At the same time, the complex feeling of pure happiness and relief blossoms. You can’t help but smile at the sight of him. There’s a stillness in the world and it’s only when you look at him and it’s good. You know that now… But oh my god.
You’re about to lose your shit.
How did you get here?
When did it all begin?
Was it from the first night you two slept together? Or was it the karaoke night when you realized you were waiting for him to kiss you? Could it be time he fucked you in front of your mirror and you vowed to never drink coffee before meeting up with him ever again?
… No.
Maybe it was when Mina came along.
You gave him a blowjob just to stall him from going (bad move, by the way. That was pretty bitchy). Oh, and we can’t forget about the time you craved him when you were drunk out of your mind and all he did was take care of you. Half asleep, you woke up to him mounting your mirror on the wall… And well, maybe…
Maybe it was then.
When he fixed your mirror, he fixed your heart.
That’s probably why the time you two hooked up in his bedroom at the party felt so right. It was finally clicking.
You were into him then.
You just didn’t know how to admit it. Then, it got fucked up because you were caught off guard.
The perilla leaf.
The exile.
The hate sex.
Everything good and bad has led to this moment and you can’t help but feel like you’re falling apart. Finding the origin of it all feels exhausting… In your head, you debate it all. In your heart, you’ve always known.
You see, it wasn’t supposed to be like this.
The friendship, the sleeping with him, the hurting him—the loving him… It wasn’t supposed to do this to you. You aren’t supposed to be this nervous and so impatient at the same time. You aren’t supposed to feel this stupid either…
But you do.
… And that’s okay.
Sometimes, with love, you’re going to feel a little stupid. You just have to cross your fingers and hope the person you’re being stupid for is just as stupid as you.
In your case… There’s a good chance he is.
As you stand on the sidelines, Jungkook places his hand over his eyes to see you clearer. He tilts his head in confusion as you drop your bag.
Then, just like that…
It happens.
His thoughts pause, his heart goes still for the nth time, and his world slows down as he takes in the sight of you. Nothing will ever be better than this. The same way he feels an ease when he watches the sunrise—he feels it as he looks at you right now.
God, he loves you so much.
He has known it for so long but this… You in this moment; it’s bliss.
Complete and utter bliss.
If that isn’t enough… His heart is completely undone the moment he realizes two things: one, you’re wearing his jersey, and two; you’re holding a towel in your arms for him. He can’t help but let a laugh escape his lips. All that shit you said about how you would never be a part of his fan club and how you could never be that girl…
Oh, this is gold.
Honestly, it’s more than enough. For you to show up and make this effort—it fills his heart. Yet, you’re you. Always full of surprises and ways of making his heart go on overdrive. As he sinks in his thoughts and soaks this moment in; he watches you take a deep breath. Then, slowly but surely, you extend your hand out to him.
It’s then when he knows it.
The wait was worth it.
The wait is over.
You and Jungkook sit on a bench, under the technical area’s cover. For a while, you two watch the sunrise in silence. Both too afraid to say anything to ruin the moment—both so undoubtedly in love. Once the sun is fully up, you brace yourself.
This is it.
Jungkook turns to you, chasing your eyes.
“You nervous or something?” he jokes, as he begins to dry his hair with the towel you placed around his neck.
“Yeah,” you confide. “Am I doing this right?”
Jungkook’s eyes widen as you scoot closer to him and take the towel. In your continued silence, you take over and start to dry his hair. Scrunching the towel, you pat dry his neck and cheeks. He gulps, unsure of what to do… He likes it though. He likes that you’re taking care of him and that you’re trying. He knows you are.
As you pat dry him, you try to find your words. It takes a moment, but you think to yourself… It’s now or never, right? You’re already here. You’ve already folded.
It catches Jungkook off guard when you suddenly tug him close. Putting the towel aside, you cup his cheeks with your hands. Your hands are cold, but he doesn’t mind. If anything, he’s holding himself back from kissing them. With a pout on your lips, you begin your confession.
“I hate being your friend.”
Jungkook squints at you and chuckles. He removes your hands from his cheeks, smirking at you. “What bullshit are you on now? Didn’t we agree on—”
“I never agreed,” your eyebrows knit together. “It’s been like… A day and a half and I’m going crazy being your stupid friend.”
“Fine,” he snaps. “Enemies?”
His suggestion annoys you.
You lift your hand to hit him, but he catches your wrist. Then, he opens his hands for you. You sigh teasingly but take it. Intertwining your fingers together, you two sit in silence again for a moment.
Holding hands, watching as the rain pours, and preparing to give your hearts to one another… It feels like this could be a dream.
“Tae and Yuna, ” you begin, breaking the silence. Your voice sounds weary and desperate. “They’ve been friends since the very beginning. He always had feelings for her and she did too… But she didn’t do anything about it until it was too late. He’s dating Mina’s friend now or something—it’s so messed up. It’s so unfair, y-you know? They deserve each other so much and I—”
“Breathe,” Jungkook comforts you. “They’ll figure it out.”
“I don’t want that to be us,” you blurt.
Jungkook blinks at you.
“It’s so scary. Jungkook, I don’t want that to be us… B-but it is us, isn’t it? Y-you hate me because of—“
His eyebrows knit together. “___, I don’t hate you. Don’t say that.”
Your lips quiver, unsure of how to navigate through this talk. Maybe you should have planned it better. Maybe you should have written this whole speech out instead of word-vomiting like this… But that’s the thing.
You aren’t good at this.
Regardless, you’ll try for him.
“I’ve been selfish,” you admit, letting your eyes dart to the field. You can’t look at him. It feels too overwhelming to. “I’ve been inconsiderate and I know I can’t justify my actions because they hurt you—I just need you to know that I was scared. It was so scary trusting you, falling asleep beside you, and waking up next to you. It was so scary watching you laugh with other girls and not knowing how to tell you how I felt… I’m sorry I started fights while trying to figure out how I felt about myself… Honestly? I think I was so scared because you made it so easy.”
A beat.
“T-the truth is… I’ve always known how I felt about you.”
Jungkook can’t help but smile. He wonders if you know what you’re doing to him… Do you? He’s afraid you don’t.
“Really?” he pries, moving closer to you. “How do you feel about me?”
Attempting to be intimidating, you turn to face him with a glare.
“D-don’t push it.”
Jungkook pouts. “But I want to know… Please, please, please?”
For a moment you contemplate. Then, you look at him and take it all in. His wet hair, soft eyes, and pouting lips… How were you ever strong enough to say no to him before? Truly, you’re a changed woman.
Curling your fist, you shut your eyes and say it. You tell him the whole truth.
You give him your heart.
“You said you got ahead of yourself… But have you ever considered that I was beside you the entire time? L-like you said you’ve had feelings for me since the first time you made me laugh… Me too. I knew it then too. I just didn’t know what to do because every time I dated guys, it all felt the same… With you, it was different from the start. I don’t know how to explain it… All I know is that I like you in every way it’s possible to like someone—I like you. My heart has been yours all along. I’m sorry it took me so long to give it to you. It just felt like everything with you kept falling into place and I was terrified I was f-falling too… I think—n-no, I… Umm, I know that I…”
Something others may not know about Jungkook is that he’s consistently bad at one thing. That one thing is playing it cool when it comes to you. He has to fight his inner demons to stop himself from professing his love for you every 10 minutes. So, it would be a lie that he wasn’t loving this. He loves watching you feel what he feels.
Your words, sweet and well-awaited, completely captivate him.
He can’t help it when you’re like this. So perfect, so cute, so his. He can’t resist!
Which is why he kisses you mid-confession.
Jungkook kisses you slowly and deeply. Like never before, you lose your breath from how passionately he kisses you. Once you two pull away, he rests his forehead against yours. Smiling, he sneaks in a couple more kisses.
Timidly, you say, “So… You aren’t mad at me anymore?”
With a laugh, Jungkook shakes his head. “God, you drive me crazy.”
“So… That’s a no, right?”
Jungkook rolls his eyes and purses his lips. You press your lips against them and kiss him once more.
“___?”
“Y-yeah?”
“... I checked my phone a moment ago and Yuna ratted you out. She texted me like ten minutes before you came. Said if you don't show up I should knock on your door and fuck your feelings out of you.” You gasp, burying your face with your hands. Sighly dramatically, Jungkook makes a cheeky comment. “Once again, I waited for you.”
You hit his chest playfully. In pure disbelief, you groan at him. “What? Y-you knew and still made me do the whole speech—”
"I didn’t know!” You ignore his claim. “Although, I wouldn't have had any issue fucking the feelings out of you—"
"Are you insane?" you fume. "I was literally sick to my stomach trying to get this confession thing done right!"
“I was excited!” He teases, and nudges you. You remain annoyed at him. Jungkook can’t help but find it cute. “Awh, ___! Come on. It’s not every day that a guy gets to see his girl in his jersey, holding a towel for him on the sidelines! Also… I just really wanted to see what all your fuss was about. I promise, I didn’t know.”
It’s too late.
Just as you stand up and storm away from the embrassment, Jungkook catches up to you. Out on the field, the rain continues to pour on you two. Drying him off was useless if you were going to be this dramatic.
As he catches your wrist, you shove him away and cross your arms.
“I feel stupid,” you sigh. “Y-you knew how I felt about you. I was worried and anxious the entire time and y-you knew!”
Jungkook shuts his eyes and can’t believe how feisty you are. It’s entertaining and frustrating at the same time. God, you were so complex… But at the same time, he knows you’re just afraid. This is you finding an out. This is also you trying to stay.
He takes your hand.
You don’t shake him off say anything.
You let him take it.
He holds it like it’s all he has ever wanted to do (it is all he has ever wanted to do).
“I didn’t know everything! Hey, the fuss was cute,” he ensures you. “Do it again.”
“No!” you cry, feeling your clothes start to stick to your skin. It’s pouring now and you instantly regret being dramatic.
Except, Jungkook looks so perfect. His hair is wet and his shirt is soaked so you can see the way his muscles curve. He’s so handsome that you have to gather all your strength as a woman to keep yourself from jumping on him.
“This shit is so hard!” you complain through the rain. “How did you do this? You confessed like every time we fucked—”
“Yah!” Jungkook warns, feeling a little embarrassed. Maybe he should be the one to storm away now… “Be nice to me or else I’m about to reject you.”
You roll your eyes at him. Grabbing him by the collar, you tug him to your eye level. Happily, he complies.
“Do it then,” you call his bluff. “Reject me right now.”
Jungkook looks into your eyes, loving the way you look at him. He blinks at you slowly and bites his inner cheek. For a moment, he’s silent. You’d think he’s contemplating or something… But he’s not. He’s been sure about you since your first laugh, remember?
“Kinda cruel considering you’re all I’ve been waiting for,” Jungkook confesses, as he dips his head low and kisses you.
As he kisses you, you squeeze his hand. Holding his hand tighter, he smiles into the kiss. The rain continues to pour, making everything feel unreal. As he pulls away, he looks at you the way he always has… This time, you get what Yuna was talking about.
The warmth in his gaze.
The love in it.
The you in it.
After what felt like endless heartache with other boys—this felt healing.
This was yours.
Him.
And that’s when your heart tells you something you never knew…
You waited well too.
You two escape the rain and make it to your place.
In your bedroom, you quickly get undressed and sit in front of your mirror to dry your hair. Jungkook comes out of the washroom all clean. Passing by you, he plants a kiss on the top of your head. You watch from the mirror as he reaches inside your closet for one of his shirts.
Your high from the moment at the field suddenly dies. Suddenly, you realize the confession wasn’t enough to move forward. For fucks sake, he has his clothes in your closet.
“Jungkook?” you ask cutely.
“Mhmm?” he responds as he dresses himself.
You almost choke on your words. “What are we?”
He grins, coming back to you and swaying you side to side. Without batting an eye, he answers: “friends, of course!”
Instantly, you push him away. Your shoulders slump as you glare at him. He laughs his ass off, loving the way you reacted. When he calms down, he kneels in front of you and apologizes.
“Okay, bestie,” you play along as he gets up. “Should we eat perilla leaves to celebrate?”
Jungkook’s mouth drops. His eye practically twitches at the mention of perilla leaves.
Throwing his hands up dramatically, he cries, “Oh god... My girlfriend is so mean to me… She’s so hot, holy shit.”
Girlfriend.
That sounds about right.
He’s so big.
Sometimes, you forget that.
It slips your mind because Jungkook has always been a giver. You never really had to worry about it being uncomfortable. He makes sure you cum first and always puts his needs above yours—tonight was a prime example of just that.
As he towers over you, he leaves a trail of kisses from your neck to your lips. Each kiss is so soft and intimate, your pussy clenches at his very touch. It doesn’t help when he places his thumb on your clit, rubbing and stretching it out to stimulate you even more. As you moan into his ear, he feels shivers go down his back.
You gasp as he bites your skin, enticing you to want him even more.
“Jungkook,” you breathe, “put it in, please.”
“Mhmm,” he moves the hair strands on your face and kisses you. “Be good for me, okay? Be patient. Gonna fuck you good so I need you to be on your best behaviour.”
“B-best behaviour,” you repeat rather lewdly. “Okay… W-whatever you want, love. You have it. You have me.”
Love.
God, you and your fucking words.
Jungkook bites his bottom lip, trying his best to take his time. Truth be told, he wants to fuck you silly right now. He wants you so bad that your legs won’t work and he’ll have to tend to your soreness. He wants to fuck you so good that you scream his name and lose yourself in him… But he’ll take his time tonight.
He wants to show you so much. He wants to show you how good he can make you feel. How you won’t ever regret your decision of being with him. He wants to show you what kind of man you chose and what kind of man you get to have.
A good man.
A man that has wanted you for so long that now that he has you—oh was he ready to drag it out.
Jungkook gently places his dick in between your folds. It’s hard and thick. You can feel it against your wet pussy and want nothing more than for him to put it in. Instead, Jungkook lifts himself and sits in between your legs. There, he holds the base of his cock and slaps it against your pussy. He rubs his cock up and down your folds. Then, he splits them open with his fingers and spits on it. He then spreads his spit with his cock. You feel so lucky when he pokes it inside once in a while. Like a tease, he takes it out so quickly that you begin to feel frustrated.
“P-put it in, please…”
Jungkook smirks.
“Put what in?”
You glare at him.
“Your hard, thick, stupid cock. Put it in my wet, needy, desperate pussy right now… Please?”
Jungkook lets out a sexy chuckle. “Not yet,” he tells you, as he fully stops. He then moves over and helps you sit up. Leaning against your headboard, he spreads your legs. Just when you think you can predict his next move, he reaches over to your nightstand and grabs his phone. Unlocking it, he passes it to you.
“Film me.”
You nod, following his orders.
Tapping record, you angle the camera to your pussy. You watch through the phone screen as Jungkook positions his face in between your legs. Gulping, you throw your head back as he makes his first lick.
Jungkook holds onto your thighs, helping you keep your legs open. He digs himself into your pussy, devouring every inch of it. To deepen himself, he digs his nose in and curls his tongue as he licks you. When he pulls away for air, he sucks on your clit making sure to keep you on your toes.
“Oohhh,” you sob. “S-so good. J-Jungkook—“
“Mhmm,” he murmurs onto your skin. “Tastes so good.”
“A-aghhh! Oh my god!”
The thing is… Jungkook has eaten you out before.
But this was different.
It was slow and sensual. The way he licks you and eats you out just feels so surreal. Your toes curl, your stomach winces, and your pussy tightens as you’re about to climax—
Jungkook pulls away.
He has a devilish look on his face. You stop the recording and toss his phone aside. Suddenly, he takes hold of your ankles and tugs you down. On your back, you open your arms and welcome him in again. Gladly, he buries himself in your breasts and moans at your softness.
“That was—“
“Everything my girl deserves,” he tells you sweetly. “My girl…”
“Your girl,” you pull him in for a kiss. “All yours..”
Jungkook moans, unable to stop himself. He lifts his hips, making space for him to quickly pump his cock before guiding it inside you.
… And oh my god.
He feels so good.
Him inside you is so fulfilling and healing.
“You okay?”
You nod, mesmorized by the man he is.
“More than.”
With that, Jungkook kisses you and begins to fuck you. He thrusts in and out, making you feel his entire length with each stroke. Your body takes him in as if it’s welcoming him home. As he feeds you your craving, he picks up the pace. You wrap your legs around him, moaning from how good it feels as he buries himself in you.
“F-fuck,” Jungkook hisses. “Love this. Feels so good.”
“Mhmm,” you whimper. “J-just like that!”
Jungkook continues to fuck you, drilling himself deeper and deeper. Soon, you’re chanting his name and his ego begins to boom.
Jungkook fucks you like he loves you… And you know it. You can feel it. To express so, you claw his back. Digging your nails deeper and deeper, holding him close.
“N-nghhh! I’m gonna cum—”
“Cum for me, pretty girl. You behaved so well,” he praises. “Proud of you.”
Your heart flutters.
Then, your pussy clenches as you release. He feels it. Jungkook groans, accepting that this round will be over soon. There will be plenty more, for sure. As he pumps inside you lazily, cautious of being sensitive to your climax but also because he’s hitting his.
Then, he creams your pussy. It oozes out, but he pumps himself a few more times to stuff you.
As he spills himself onto you, he lets out heavy breaths and collapses on top of you. You let him catch his breath there as you tangle your fingers in his hair.
“I love you,” you confess.
“Good… I was hoping you would.” Jungkook lets out a tired laugh. “I love you too, ___. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. You’re everything I’ve ever loved.”
You hold him tighter.
“I love you more.”
Jungkook bursts into laughter. “Love, we are not going to play that game.”
Tilting your head at him. “Why not? It’s true.”
“You think you love me more than I love you?”
“Mhmm.”
“Prove it.”
With that, Jungkook laughs as you shift position. Leaving him on his back, you climb on top and straddle him. As you lift yourself to guide his dick inside, he lets out a whiney moan. You are so sexy. You are quite literally his favourite part of living.
“I’ll prove it,” you accept the challenge. “Will you last though?”
Jungkook’s lips slight part, amazed and shocked at your initiative. In response, he relaxes and gestures at your body. There’s a tightness that overcomes his entire body. It’s mixed with excitement and relief. For the nth time, he gives in.
Jungkook folds.
Happily, he gives himself to you.
“With you? Forever.”
Forever.
After 3 rounds, you two call it a night. As you drift to sleep, Jungkook holds you. Before this, you two talked as much as you could and even began to make plans. There is an indescribable comfort in being with each other.
Upcoming dates.
Better ways to communicate.
Everything and anything in between—you two want it all.
As the rain pours, Jungkook finally shuts his eyes. He pulls you closer, kissing you for the final time tonight. There would be tomorrow to kiss you anyway.
Tomorrow and the day after that… And the day after that. And the days that follow—he’d do just that.
He can’t wait to kiss you forever.
To hold your hand forever.
To love you forever.
For the first time in a while, Jungkook finds rest. His heart stays still and feels loved. Besides, this is what he has wanted to be all along—
Close to you.
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| Ch. 2 | Bad or Good Luck?
You chose to read this, do NOT blame me if you ignore my warnings!
TW: Inaccuracy survival stuff, Self-doubt, Negative mindset, Injuries, inaccuracy medic stuff, Being watched
| Masterlist | Ch. 1 | Ch. 3 |
Pairing(s): 141 x Reader
A/N: Oh wow- uh, there’s a lot of you reading my story- sweats profusely cool- These long chapters will take time since I have Uni and 3 FUCKING big projects to do, so bear with me- I have like 3 on-going stories and uh unplanned one-shots poppin’ into my head. P.s Sorry for the bad accents, I cannot write accents to save my own life literally using websites to help me.
“Well then…” you breathed out, your hand lingers on Soap’s back while you look at the massive jungle in front of you, the open, warm air spreading, semi-drying you both, though the flicker of water that came from incoming waves prevented from being fully dry.
You snap out of your daze when you glanced down at the scotsman, eyeing his body to see if there were any damages that had happened during the rollercoaster ride of the storm, physically he was fine. Using your hands moving on their own as you press Soap’s arms or places that could’ve been potentially be hurt. So far Soap hasn’t reacted as you felt his tensed muscles, flexing ever so often when you graze your hands and fingers onto different parts of his torso.
“Auch! Now that stings like a bitch, hen,” Soap moves away from your hand while you try to lift his shirt up.
“Fuck sake, Soap, I need to look at it!”
He shifts his body while ignoring your scolding, he knows he should let you check but the thought of being injured in the middle of sea, on a stupid island with no medical equipment or civilisation irks him to the bones. He’s worried that whatever the injury is could be a lenient towards your survival, he didn’t want to be a burden if it were to be a harsher problem, that maybe ignoring it would save you the resources or trouble.
That thought went out the window as you pin him down. He didn’t, couldn’t, fight back since he was still weak from the wash up and beating of the storm and plus, you had time to regain little of your energy and strength, he didn’t.
“Git off me! ‘Am fine bonnie!” he’d protests while trying to avoid being pinned. You ignore his comment and pin him, you straddle his waist while you used your hands to grab his wrists, your small hands didn’t wrap fully around it but you hope he was weak enough to not try and escape, fortunately or unfortunately he was. You lift up his shirt and saw a bruise forming on his side, you hope nothing internal was damaged to cause it, sighing you gently graze your fingers over it, making Soap flinch.
“You seem fine, just a bruise, probably hit a coral or those rocks when we got swept here,” you sigh, you look around to see if anything could help but surprise, surprise—nothing—of course there’s nothing, you were stranded.
Letting out another heavy sigh due to the disappointment and stress that you both are facing, you raise yourself off Soap and dust off your legs, trying to get rid of the sand to the best of your abilities. You look down at Soap and reach out a hand to help him up which he gladly took, with the little strength you have, you pulled the bulking man to stand up—him mainly doing the work—Soap starts to pat himself and remove as much sand as possible.
While Soap dusts himself off, he glances towards you. “Ye seen the others?”
Right. Price, Ghost and Gaz were missing from your little party, you try to remember when you’ve last seen them, your head throbbed as you use it to remind yourself of the events.
The heli going haywire. The sound of thunder and rain. The shouting of your team. Soap grabbing you. Jumping out the heli. Explosion.
“They jumped out, we got separated because of that storm,” you murmur, mainly to yourself but Soap heard.
“Those bloody bastards said it would be clear skies,” Soap scowl, finally straightening himself up, sneakily wrapping his arm around the bruise on his waist.
“Right,” strange how things went south so quick. “Think it’s a bit suspicious, no?”
“Definitely.”
Soap joins your side before looking at the jungle, he wants to go in and see if they could start gathering resources or at least try find the rest of the team, maybe they were on the island too?
“Okay so—”
“Let’s go in the jungle,” you stare at Soap, bewildered at his statement, you think that water might’ve went into his brain. Going into the jungle, an unknown habitat, that both of you weren’t familiarised could lead to your doom, especially without the proper kit for it or the survival instincts.
“Soap we can’t just—”
Too late, the scotsman already headed inside.
You face palm, mumbling a few profanities before chasing after him, he was slightly injured but the way he wrapped his arm around that bruise told you a different story. You stepped onto the jungle floor, the moss covering the dirt felt spongy, testing the works you bounced yourself on it a little, strange feeling but it was rather fun. You shook your head, need to focus.
“Soap? Soap!? Dammit you asshole, where the fuck are you!?” you yell out, you assumed there’d be no enemies here since it was so isolated, nothing screamed that anyone had been here before. You ventured further trying to look for your stubborn friend, crouching and manoeuvring yourself around the wild life that surrounded you, avoiding anything that could potentially harm and irritate you.
“Lass, I found ye—”
Doing a quick 180, you quickly throw a punch before hearing a groan as someone stumble back, Soap.
“Fuck sake Soap, don’t do that!” you exhaled the breath that you were holding from the fright.
“My mistake, nice hook though,” you rolled your eyes at his compliment, this man was going to get himself killed one day. (crying)
“How’s your side Soap?”
“Quit callin’ me tha’”
You looked at him confused. He removed his hand from his nose, seeing there’s no blood from the blow, he scrunches his nose and wriggles it around before taking a deep breath.
“Bonnie, ye’re pretendin’ like we ‘aven’t ken each other for 2 years, think ye can use first name bases,” he nudges you playfully while you stared at him, slightly flustered.
You worked with the team for 2 years, though you don’t really consider it as 'working with the team' since they never let you do things on your own, always having one of them in your missions even though it was supposed to be you only—they fought the higher ranks just so they could have one of them with you—they treated you like you couldn’t do your job, you only used their call signs because you never felt like you fit in, wanting to prove that you’re not fragile as they thought you were, that you deserve to be on the team.
“Bonnie?”
Shit, you’ve been thinking a bit too long.
“Sorry, just… thinking, Johnny,” felt weird to say it, you didn’t feel that closeness with any of them.
However the way that Johnny smiled when you called out his name, it could’ve easily beat the Cheshire cat from Alice in wonderland, he felt happy hearing his name come from your mouth however you felt guilty, it felt rude to say his name even when he gave you permission, it didn’t sit right with you but nevertheless, it made him happy.
"What now?" you stare into the jungle, the prickling sensation of nerves edging on your neck, the feeling of being exposed to the unknown like this without the others being by your side felt, off.
"Ah say we keep goin' till we find the others," you stare at Johnny with a deadpan expression, not amused by his suggestion, you hoped that he would be joking but with Johnny's smile and hopeful yet determined eyes, you knew he wasn't.
"Johnny... they might've not even washed up on this island with us, hell, we don't even know how big this place is!"
"Ahck! Always so negative lass jus' like Ghost," he shakes his head while throwing his hands at you, as if to shoo away your bad vibes away from him. "We'll neva noo if we stay here hen."
Before you could even open up your mouth to protest that you need to see if you could retrieve or make some form of weapons or anything to venture further, Johnny marches ahead of you, you internally groan at the stubbornness of this man, either that or it was the way he was so peppy with his step even with his bruised side. Grudgingly you followed him behind to watch his back and to make sure that the idiot didn't hurt himself further, though you respect your Sergeant, sometimes his talking could be a bit too much.
It has been who knows how long since you and Johnny had been walking mindlessly through the jungle, the sun was blazing against your skins, sweat and sand had been packed into your uniforms with ocean salt, you could feel the grit rubbing against your skin, you hated it. Johnny wasn't doing so well either, his mohawk looked like a wet sponge draped over his head, the front of his hair sticking to his face from his sweat.
You grumbled to yourself while holding onto your stomach, you prayed to whatever god is out there that it's not a sign of your incoming period, hell, you don't even know if you're close to it, you were going to check your cycle when you returned to base but no, you're stuck on a fucking island.
You silenced your inner anger, the inner noise getting too much for your head as you overthink about the situation to the tiredness and pain while stressing about the other's whereabouts and Johnny's health condition. He hadn't been able to do certain things when you had asked, moving a piece of log that was blocking an area that you needed to pass through, he could easily move with the way you've seen him lift weights yet he decided that finding away around it would be more safer or that it would be better for you instead of him, which didn't make sense at all. He had been making up excuses to avoid activities that he can and could do, climbing to see where you two were going, hauling heavy items over, he avoided it like it could kill him.
A groan interrupted your thoughts then a thud, the noise made your head jerk to look at Johnny he was on the ground, clutching his bruise. You quickly rush to his side ignoring your own pain, your knees sliding against the dirt as you come to his aid quickly, lifting up his shirt you see the bruise had gotten bigger and in different shades of purple, black and blue, your breath hitched.
"Fuck," you looked around the jungle, trying to back track to where the shore was. "Alright Johnny, let's go back."
"Nae, 'm fine lass, jus' need tae-"
"No. We're going back," you glared at Johnny. A new profound confidence invading your sweet and shy personality which shocked Johnny as he kept his mouth shut, you helped him up by the shoulders to get him standing on his feet again, he groans still clutching his side. You figured that the bruise could've been a fractured bone but you weren't too sure but now since you both had been excelling yourselves through the jungle, it had gotten worse. You sighed heavily as the day just gets worse.
Both of you trudged through the jungle underneath the gazing sun, the density of the vegetation of the jungle giving shade yet it trapped the heat and humidity with little to no breeze in coming from the shore, you wonder how deep you two were in the jungle to not feel any of that ocean air, from how long you've been walking you'd guess an hour or two.
"Lass?" Johnny's voice snapped you out of your thoughts again, you've been getting trapped in your mind since you've gotten here, need to stop doing that. "Lass?"
"Hmm? Sorry, what is it?"
"Ay've been tellin' ye that we passed a turn," you groaned to yourself before turning around where Johnny had pointed out the 'path' that led back to the beach.
Upon your arrival you let Johnny sit down near a tree, keeping him upright as you walk towards where you both had arrived and checked the area if there were anything of use. The material of the parachute that you both had lost during the storm had managed to land on the island you were both on, you thanked whatever magical forces had blessed you, grabbing it you dragged it along that sand as you check nooks and crannies of the rocks, nothing, a few washed up seaweed and trash. You sighed in disappointment, gathering the trash taht could be of use before stepping into the water, your boots getting wet again in the process.
You walked around the rock where Johnny had been found, searching for any washed up material or trash that the waves had brought in, you stumbled against something making yourself dip into the water, today was not your day. You glared into the water to see what had tripped you but the dark, black material had caught your eye, it was buried into the sand.
You quickly brushed the sand away with your boot before using your unused hand to help it clear out, you grab the item before cheering in silence. A tactical knife. Something to work with, you were glad you had checked, you run back to Johnny with the items that you've gathered.
"Och, ye found Si's knife," you raised you brow at him.
"How'd you know?"
Johnny stays silent not answering the question, though you had another question on your mind.
"Did you have Si- Ghost's knife on you?" you corrected yourself, hoping he doesn't say anything.
"Aye, he gave it jus' in case I need tae protect myself, extra backup," he chuckles while looking at the knife in your hand, staring at the metal of the blade before looking down towards the handle, almost in adoration. Great. You felt as if you had tampered with the knife by touching it or holding it in your hand since one, it belonged to your Lieutenant, your superior, a being that was represented as death and who you believed only protected you was because of John or Johnny, and two there was definitely something going on between the two just by how Johnny looked enamoured by the way he indirectly talked about Ghost, the love-struck in his eyes not being hidden.
You held out the knife to Johnny before he waved his hand.
"Don' worry bonnie, Ah'm not in the best shape to be wielding it right noo," he wheezes out a fake cough which becomes a coughing fit. You patted his back while placing out the empty plastic bottles out of the ripped parachute that you had made into a sack, the materials weren't in good condition but you had to try to make use of it.
Johnny's pained, heavy breathing concerned you.
All the medical equipment was gone from the explosion and pretty much all your items in your vests and pockets have been drowned at sea, you tried to think what you could do for Johnny to ease the pain or at least treat his wound, an ice pack would be of use. Something clicked in your mind, you remembered what your father used to do when you had family day outings, though it'll take a while for it to work.
You grabbed one of the bottles that weren't as damaged or had holes in it before filling it up with the ocean water, using your shirt to wrap it up, it was cold but not cold enough. You harrow a hole in the sand till it showed wet sand before placing the bottle gently into it, the neck being covered by your shirt so it was easier to see, you had to wait for a few hours.
“What are ye doing lass?”
“Just something my father taught me,” you smile at him before hearing the grumbling sound of Johnny’s stomach, he smiled out of embarrassment.
“Sorry hen.”
You look up at the horizon of the ocean and place your hand in the middle, the sun already touching the tip of your middle finger, already mid-day by the looks of it. Half the day and both you and Johnny had yet to gather more resources for the cold night, you stare at the said injured teammate before walking towards him.
“I’ll go in and see what I can gather, pretty sure there’s a bunch of fruit in there we can eat,” you nod you head towards the jungle before Johnny agrees, with the situation that they had there was no other option. As you lift yourself up and head into the, Johnny grabs your wrist with his free hand—slightly groaning at the sudden movement—before lowering yourself a little.
“Jus’ be careful,” the worry in his voice was evident but you couldn’t help but felt a tick behind your head, giving him a small, strained smile. “I will Johnny.”
With that he lets you go and venture into the jungle on your own, leaving him behind with the bottles that you had gathered as you had taken the make-shift, parachute bag.
Trudging into the jungle the familiarity of the humidity and heat spread across your face and body, the feeling of home, not England of course but back into the tropicals, where your family were. You reminisced the times you’ve shared back there, the survival stories that your father shared and the adventures you had with your actual friends and your cousins, while you marked trees to remember where you had been so you could return to Johnny. The density of the jungle was more thicker than the ones back home but you didn’t mind it, it was a nice nostalgia feeling however you had to remember to be wary of where you stepped, not knowing the habitants that lived there, for all you know there could be venomous snakes, such as a Russell’s viper, Eyelash viper, Fer-de-lance, different varieties since you don’t know where you had been swept to as well there had been animals being transported to different countries, who weren’t to say that a cargo could’ve let loose a bunch of animals on unknown territory?
You sigh heavily at your overthinking mind, gathering some cloudberries and mulberries which you luckily found, plucking some out for to eat for yourself the slight tart of the cloudberries making you shiver a little but the sweetness of both berries making the hunger you felt relieved, for now at least.
You ventured further still leaving tracks of ‘x’s behind on trees or scratches on rocks so you can remember to follow them back to Johnny while leaving some markings of ‘o’s to locations where you found the berry bushes. You looked at the sun, the only source you can use to estimate the time, possibly around 1300? Give or take. Your eyes land on a bunch of bananas, you’ll grab the bananas and head back to Johnny.
Meanwhile with Johnny, he had not taken to light with sitting around and doing nothing despite his injury, he should be listening to you but he needed to move around even if it was strain his healing and that’s what he did. Groaning as he hoisted himself up he made sure the bottles don’t get blown away by the rough breeze being brought by the waves by burying them under the sand where he had sat, an easy land mark to know where the buried treasure are.
He looked both left and right wanting to explore the shorelines for a bit, if had ran into the jungle and ran into you, you’d surely scold and whine at him for not resting.
Traipsing through the sand clutching to his side, he eyed the ground carefully to see if he could help with gathering resources for you both, though he couldn’t completely focus due to the lack of food, pain and the overwhelming thoughts of his squad, his family being dead in the ocean somewhere and the thought of no one coming to rescue them even occurred in his mind. He missed the Task Force; he missed his and Gaz’s mischievous adventures and pranks, he missed Price scolding and praises, he missed Simon.
He felt the tears swelling up in his eyes as he tries to get ahold of himself, it was only day 1 of being stranded and his emotions were already getting the best of him. Something white had blinded him.
“I’ll gie ye a skelpit lug!” his arm covering his eyes, he squints at the ground looking for the source that had made him see specks of blue and green, his eyes widen at the sight before internally cheering, jogging towards it ignoring the pain on his side.
Exiting the jungle with new found of food—mainly berries and bananas—you arrived to the empty spot of where Johnny once were, your calm demeanour slowly turns to one of panic as your body stops overheating and the humidity that fogged your brain left. You place your findings on the tree that Johnny had laid upon, seeing the sunken sand tracks that he left behind, before you took a step forward, Johnny came back, his hand carrying something while the other clutched his side.
You grumbled a few words underneath your breath, mainly that he had scared you for a second, before jogging towards him.
“Johnny what the fu—” he interrupts you by showing the flint and steel he had found, a cocky grin appearing at the way you were silenced. You smack his arm playfully as you both celebrated by giving one another a hug, there was a chance you both could survive through the upcoming days of hell on the island.
The amount of survival items were still slim but at least it was something; A tactical knife, 5 useable bottles, flint and steel, cloudberries, mulberries, and 7 bananas.
Both you and Johnny created a fire by using the stones in the forest, the fallen branches and the dried leaves, using the flint and steel that surprisingly still worked which was a relief. Now you had a fire to keep going through the dark night that approached, while eating the berries and bananas you found, saving some for another time.
However not everything was going so great as nightfall hits. Johnny kept tossing and turning in his sleep from his nightmares, the fractured rib unable to help that much since it had kept pressing down on his side.
You walked towards the neck of the bottle that you had buried in the sand with your shirt, you felt your shirt feeling damp but cold, it was cold enough to help with Johnny’s pain. You walked back over to Johnny before lowering yourself down and crossing your leg next to his side, you gently lift his shirt up and place the cold bottle there making him jolt up from his sleep.
“Lass, why’d you do tha’ for?” however his complaints slowly dispersed, when his side felt so good with the coldness soothing his side that he nearly fell back asleep.
“Try sleep upright for now Johnny, it’ll help,” you lean against the tree. Johnny stared at you before making himself comfortable in between your legs, using your stomach as a pillow. “Not what I meant.”
“Ye said to sleep at least upright? I cannae do tha’” he snuggles in more, making you inwardly groan and regretted the words you said out loud. “Unless I sleep on ye, so I won’t fall.”
You roll your eyes at his excuse before you took the first watch. After a few minutes you hears Johnny’s soft snoring, one of his arms on his side while the other held your leg, mainly your thigh. You didn’t dare to move it not wanting to wake Johnny and because you couldn’t be asked. You held the bottle still on his side, the coolness of it slowly wearing off from the heat of your hand and Johnny’s body warmth.
You look up at the glowing moon that shone down the ocean in front of you, your mind lurked into dark places of worry for the rest of 141, trying to be positive about it.
Have they made it? Are they safe? Are they stranded somewhere like you and Johnny are?
Are they dead?
You shook your head to those thoughts, thoughts of dread as you close your eyes, trying to get rid of those images of Price, Ghost and Gaz, their bodies sunken into the depths of the ocean or their bodies soon washing up on your shores to find them blue and purple. You didn’t want to think about it, sure you weren’t close but the images of losing them had your heart aching, especially for Johnny, knowing his relationship and bonds with the team. You let out a shaky breath trying to keep your tears as bay so you don’t startle the Scotsman that’s asleep on your lap, you hope that the rest were alive even if there were to be a slim chance of it.
By the morning you had stayed awake, not waking up Johnny to switch to sleep because you couldn’t. You were too deep with your thoughts and worries.
Johnny groans while stretching his limbs and pushing his head slightly into your stomach, sighing with the relief of popping noises coming from his joints while wincing as he tried to pop his back but only to be met with his injury. Sighing he looked towards up at you. His eyes widening as he sits up, staring at the bags under your eyes, his brows furrowing.
“Did ye even sleep at all bonnie?”
You stared at him groggily with a small smile as you shook your head, knowing if you spoke you’d probably sound like a strained cat dying.
“I’ll be fine Johnny,” you yawned, your hand coming to cover your mouth before returning to your side. The coldness of the bottle already wearing warm, you buried it like last time so Johnny could have something for the night.
“Ye need sleep.”
“You need… to not worry.”
You both have a stand off. Neither one of you were going to back down unless the other did, however, your eyes caught something in the distance. You push past Johnny who exclaimed out a ‘hey’ before following you and trying to talk to you in going back to sleep. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw what you saw, the faint silhouette of another island had faded into view. Both of your eyes widen, it wasn’t too far from you but it would still need a raft to get there, you both smiled at each other as you now have another place to explore. Perhaps one of the guys had gotten stranded there? You both gather your items, now determined to gather more resources from the island you were both on before making a plan to travel to the next.
Though the eyes behind the leaves of the jungles never left your figures, watching, waiting and hearing both of you plan.
A/N: Genuinely, I don’t like how I wrote the ending. But ho, ho, who is watching you and Johnny boi? It’ll be you and Johnny for awhile btw- *cackles*
Taglist(s): @chickennn-soupp, @scarletdfox, @rafaelacallinybbay
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𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎..? #3 ⋆ Charles Leclerc
pairing: charles leclerc x reader
summary: in which the reader does not recognise the famous Monegasque Formula 1 driver; the very same one that was about to change her perspective on the sport and also her life.
— buckle up cos this is a long one yall…. a lil smau at the end? 👀
— you can read parts 1 & 2 here: #1 #2
You went on three more dates after the brunch date. You really enjoyed his company and agreeing to go for brunch with him was the best decision you've ever made.
Charles had popped the question on the third date and of course, you said yes. However, you still kept your relationship private but not secret. No one knew who he was dating and vice versa…. yet.
Today was your final paper for Uni. You had spent the last few weeks focused on studying so you couldn't meet Charles (and attend his races) as often as you wanted to but he was totally understanding and even had flowers delivered to your house to boost your morale.
You went to school with the notes you wrote clutched in your hands. You had a few hours to kill so you decided to have a light breakfast and head to the library to do last minute revisions with Emma.
The clock hits 1:30pm and all the students were gathered in the examination hall, seated in their respective places as the papers were being handed out. You turned to Emma who was seated a few seats diagonally behind you.
She shows a thumbs up and mouths 'good luck!' with a smile on her face.
You returned the gesture and then turn your attention back towards yourself.
Three hours later, you exited the exam hall and let out a sigh of relief. You took out your phone to text Charles, letting him know you were done with your final paper of the goddamn semester.
In the midst of typing, you bumped into someone.
"Oh god I'm so sor- Charles?!" You yelled out.
He laughs but was quick to shush you by covering your mouth, "Hi,"
You were shocked to see him as he was away for the British Grand Prix. You figured you had a few days left before he returns but as you just found out, he was back early.
You hugged him in joy and he embraces you in his arms.
"How was the paper?" He asks as he lets go, the two of you walking away.
"Good- but difficult. I think I'll do well," You hesitantly say.
His eyebrows furrow, "You think? Come on, don't say that! I know you'll do well,"
"Yeah? You think so?"
"Of course! You're my girl, there's nothing you can't do my love," He says as he kisses your forehead.
You smiled in response, feeling a little better.
"Let's go for dinner?"
It's like he was able to read your mind.
Fast forward, it was graduation. You did indeed do well. Your parents couldn't attend as they were miles away so they supported you via live stream. Charles however...
@yourusername posted on their story
@charles_leclerc posted on their story
Monza.
Monza was a particularly important race; Charles loved the Monza GP as much as he loved his home race- it held a very special place in his heart.
This was your first time attending, the atmosphere of the tifosi’s was like nothing you’ve ever seen before.
You were with Emma in the Ferrari hospitality as Charles had paddock & VIP passes for the both of you. Of course, he couldn’t forget Emma. He said if it weren’t for her, the two of you wouldn’t have met.
The both of you were seated at the back of the garage with headphones on, focused on the race.
The race started off well. Charles was on pole, which was amazing, he even managed to maintain his position for the next 53 laps, keeping the two Mercedes drivers behind him at bay.
“Mercedes threw everything at him today- Charles Leclerc has coped brilliantly! He won in Spa, he wins in Monza!”
As soon as his car crosses the finish line and the checkered flag waves, you rushed over to the barricades, waiting for him.
As soon as he parks his car in the Parc Ferme, he rushes to the team donned in red.
He brushed past everyone as soon as he saw you at the front of the line. He runs over to you, immediately embracing you in a hug.
You hugged him back but was taken aback at his sudden action because your relationship hadn’t gone public yet. But today, Charles figured it was time the world knew.
You kissed the top of his helmet, afterwards pushing his visor up, eyes locked with the same set of green eyes you were first met with at the supermarket a year back. His eyes were squinting- he was smiling.
With his hands rested on your waist, he proceeds to place his forehead on yours, “Je t’aime. I love you. Je t’aime tellement. I love you so much.” He says loud enough so you could hear him over the screams and cheers.
You smiled. Your heart melts when the words escape his mouth because prior to this, the both of you hadn’t said your “I love you’s” yet.
“Take off your helmet,” You said and he quickly proceeded to do so.
You placed your hands on the side of his face bringing him in closer, kissing him. Once you let go, you said,
“Je t’aime aussi, Charles. I love you too, Charles.”
-
yourusername
liked by emmaharper, charles_leclerc, yoursister and others
yourusername I guess I’m a Ferrari fan now…🤭
emmaharper #ForzaFerrari 🤪🤪
charles_leclerc 😘😘 I love you
yourusername I love you too❤️
emmaharper ew
yourusername @emmaharper 🙄
yoursister SO THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT U R DATING CHARLES BLOODY LECLERC???
yourusername 😳😳
charlesleclerclover well now we know who’s the mystery girl…👀
charlesleclerc_fc new wag!!!!!
user1 ooh so she’s the doctor he posted about!
yourusername @user1 yessir🤭
yourfriend y/n you dating a f1 driver was NOT on my bingo card….
yourusername hehehe surprise…?
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A/N: here it is, the long awaited part 3! and with that, the “and you are…?” series comes to an end!! hehe definitely didn’t expect there to he 3 parts but oh well! i hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! thank you for all the love <3
ps. im open for requests :)
— taglist: @charlottemount @fangirlika @lunnnix @maryleclerc
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domi being super proud of an intelligent reader? like, she's a student at oxford and he can't help showing it off? (im waiting on a reply from them so 😭)
omg that's amazing!!! best of luck lovely <3
you're talking to him about something you've done at work and he's just in awe at the word coming out of your mouth, cause how can someone be that smart and that pretty at the same time???? like you ask him to quiz you for uni and he's just so lost with the whole thing but you seem to know the answer to every question and he finds it so hot. he does not stop flexing how clever you are to his friends like they're so sick of hearing about how well you've done in your assignments that klopp has to ban him talking about you during training. he smothers you in love when you come home and tell him about the A* that you just got on an essay cause all your hard work is paying off and he's so proud. don't even get me started on your graduation, this man is crying cause he's so proud and your mum has to tell him to stop cheering so loud when you get called up to collect your degree.
inbox is open send me some ramble requests <3
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Recovery - Chapter 3
Eminem x Reader (Y/N) fanfiction
Summary : Marshall and Y/N decide to celebrate a sobriety milestone but bad news get in the way.
Tag : -
A few weeks went by and you slowly started to adapt to what you could call your new normal. You were getting used to living with your friends and started working on your doctoral dissertation again, while going to meetings and making it to therapy. Every so often, you’d be invited to hang out in the studio with Talia and the boys and spend a couple of hours with them. However, most of your time was devoted to uni work so you didn’t hang out with them too much. In fact, today would be the first day you’d see them in a couple of weeks. If you were honest, you were particularly excited to see Marshall. The two of you had crossed path a number of times since you went on that drive and you always had a good time when you were with him. At that point, it was safe to say you had developed a harmless crush on him. Nothing major, but you did particularly enjoy looking at him and you were always happy to hug him hello and goodbye. You knew he would never be interested in you, so you simply decided to enjoy the sensation of feeling good in his presence.
The night after the two of you went on a drive, Talia had been grilling you with questions, but there was not much to say. The two of you had not talked about it but you were pretty sure she knew about your crush. She knew you too well anyway. Whatever, it was harmless, although she did make sure to always have you sit next to Marshall whenever she had the chance.
That day, you were happy for three reasons : first, it was Friday, which meant you would enjoy the weekend and some much needed rest from uni. Secondly, you were celebrating two months being sober. It hadn’t been without its trials, but you had made it so far and were extremely proud. Finally, you got to see Marshall. You were all smiles when you pushed the door to the studio and greeted everyone.
- Y/N, we have been waiting for you like you have no idea ! Jamal said.
- Oh really ? You asked in disbelief. Is that because you produce your best work whenever I’m around ? You asked with a smirk.
- Kind of, he answered jokingly. But it’s mostly because Marshall has been in a bad mood all day, which usually doesn’t happen when you’re around. So whatever it is, please work your magic and make our life bearable again, I beg of you, he added as he fell to his knees for good measure, in a very dramatic and theatrical way.
- Speaking of the devil, where is he ?
No one had time to answer your question, as Marshall came in the room, looking unnerved and slamming the door behind him. You looked at Talia, whose look confirmed that he was indeed in a bad mood. Everyone was silent.
- Now can we please give it a couple more tries and get that right ? Marshall asked exasperated.
- We’ve been working on that song for hours and nothing good came out, someone pointed out. How about we circle back to that later ?
- No, Marshall said coldly. We can get that thing to sound right and we will.
- Stubborn much ? Jamal asked jokingly before Marshall shot him a death glare.
You didn’t know if Marshall had seen you there or not but you weren’t sure as to whether or not greeting him was a good idea. You just sat next to Talia and stared at your phone as you were trying to finish reading a paper. You didn’t pay much attention to your surroundings before you heard Marshall slamming his head against the mixing desk.
- Fuck. He said. We’re already behind on schedule. This album is going to be my last, I swear. If it ever even gets done.
- You already said that for the last one, Paul pointed out jokingly.
- Yeah well you know what ? I’m soon to turn fifty-two. I’m too old for that shit anyways, Marshall replied.
- Come on, dude. We have our good luck charm here today, Jamal said pointing at you.
You smiled shyly at Marshall, who seemed to ease a little.
- Hey there, he said before getting up to properly greet you. Sorry I didn’t say hi before. That was rude.
- It’s ok, you said as you hugged him. So… last album before you become an accountant ? You know, you could ask my dad for pointers, you said jokingly.
Marshall laughed and kissed your cheek.
- Ok, maybe I was being a bit dramatic and maybe it won’t be the last one, he said with a laugh.
Jamal looked at the two of you in disbelief, yet smiling.
- So he’s been an ass all day, and now that Y/N has been here for ten minutes, he’s laughing ?
Everyone laughed and Marshall raised his middle finger.
- Now that you’re in a better mood, can we PLEASE take a cigarette break ? Someone asked.
- Fine, Marshall said rolling his eyes, as most people left the room and he went back to his seat, scribbling in this notebook.
After a moment of silence, you decided to talk.
- I have News, you said.
- Good or bad ? He asked without looking up.
- Well, you tell me, you said with a smile, proudly showing your newly-earned sobriety chip.
He greeted you with a smile and pulled you in for a hug.
- I’m proud of you, he said before kissing you on the forehead, making you blush. We should celebrate.
- Really ? How so ?
- Dinner ? He offered.
- That sounds good, you said. How about you come tomorrow night ? I’ll cook !
- I’m intrigued, he said. So you’re beautiful, smart AND you can cook ?
- I would also showcase my dancing abilities, but you’d be too jealous, you joked, trying to distract yourself from the fact that he called you beautiful.
The two of you shared a laugh but were interrupted by people coming back from their break. They resumed the work and, thankfully for everyone, Marshall ended up being pleased by one of the versions they recorded.
The next day, you decided to go shopping for your celebration dinner. You decided to cook some French recipe. « Whatever you want, unless it’s frogs or snails » Talia had told you. A while ago, you may or may not have tried to get your friends to taste snails, which ended up in a complete disaster. You were excited to cook and were in a good mood when you arrived to the store. You quickly grabbed the items you needed but the joy left your body when you reached the register and saw Simon - your Simon - kissing a beautiful woman as they were grabbing a few items. He seemed happy as ever. You could not help but stare at them and wonder for how long they’d been together. Something about their demeanour made it feel like they’d been a couple for ages. As you lowered your gaze, in hope they wouldn’t notice you, Simon called your name.
- Y/N ?
- Simon. Hi, you said.
- You look… well, he pointed out.
- I am, thank you, you replied. How are you ?
- Good. Kind of busy.
- I figured, you couldn’t help but say, quickly staring at the beautiful lady he was with.
- I meant with work.
- Oh. Right. Well I’d love to chat but I have to go. Have a good one.
You paid and quickly left the store. For some reason, you felt humiliated, even though Simon had every right to date whoever he liked. After all, you hadn’t been together for nearly three months. Plus, Simon was the very définition of perfection : handsome, polite, successful. Looking back, it was kind of obvious he wouldn’t have trouble finding someone else. And it wasn’t exactly like he made a promise to wait for you either.
Even though you tried your best not to cry on the way home, you sniffled as you walked through the door.
- Baby, are you alright ? Talia asked.
- I saw Simon, today. Kissing someone.
As soon as the words left your lips, tears started to stream down your cheeks.
- Oh, Y/N, I’m so sorry ! She said before giving you a much needed hug.
- I know it’s silly but some part of me thought that… I’d get better and we’d get back together and… and…
- I know. I thought you guys were endgame too, she said sheepishly.
She held you for a while as you sobbed.
- Let’s focus on the positive, honey ! Let’s celebrate those two months of you getting better. I’ll help you cook, she offered.
- Do you mind if we reschedule ? You asked. I don’t feel like celebrating. Or cooking. Or eating, for that matter.
- Are you sure, baby ? Marshall should be here soon. I promise we’ll have a good night, just the four of us, she tried.
- Yeah… can you call him and tell him I’m sorry ? I think I should go to my room and rest for a bit.
You apologised once again and left the items on the kitchen counter before going to your room. You changed into some sweatpants and a tank top and laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling. It dawned on you that Simon and you were truly over. Even though you tried thinking of something else, you couldn’t help but seeing him with that girl. She was truly beautiful. Probably more deserving of him, too. The tears wouldn’t stop flowing from your eyes. It felt like a fountain. Deep down, you knew it was your fault. You were the one who screwed up. He was the perfect match for you, you screwed up and now, you’d probably end up alone.
You heard a knock on the door.
- I’m fine, Talia, you said while wiping away your tears.
- It’s not Talia, you heard Marshall’s voice say. Can I come in ?
Marshall ? What was he doing here ? You quickly got up and opened the door.
- Hey, you said. I’m sorry, I told Talia to cancel for tonight. I’m feeling a bit under the weather…
- She told me about your ex, he said. But she thought we should do something to get your mind off things. Come here.
He pulled you in for a hug. He grabbed your face in his hands and wiped your tears with his thumbs.
- I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone’s face so swollen after crying, he said with a smile.
- I know, I’m an ugly cryer, you replied.
- Everyone’s ugly when they cry, he pointed out.
- No, that’s not true. Some people manage to stay hot even when they cry.
- Well I’ve never seen that, he said as he shook his head.
- I’m sure Ms. Perfection over there is still beautiful when she cries, you mumbled.
- Who ? Marshall asked, looking confused.
- The girl Simon was kissing. You should have seen her, Marshall. So beautiful. Tall. And blonde. And skinny. And perfect for him in every way. The opposite of me.
You rolled your eyes at the thought of her.
- As beautiful as she may be, I’m sure she can’t compete with you, Marshall said.
- You haven’t seen her, you pointed out.
- I don’t need to, he shrugged.
He was just being nice and you knew it full well. Still, the compliments made you feel a bit better.
- Why don’t you join Talia and Jamal ? Let me just put on something other than sweats and I’ll start cooking.
- I thought you wanted to cancel dinner ? He asked, looking confused.
- Yeah, but Talia still made you come all this way, so I might as well feed you.
- That’s awfully nice of you, he said with a grin.
- Nice of you to come, you said with a shy smile.
- Anything for you, Y/N, he replied with a serious tone. You can call me and I’ll be there.
- Good thing I don’t have your number, you said with a smile. You’d never live in peace otherwise.
- Let’s correct that, shall we ?
He grabbed your phone and entered his number in it.
- Now you can call me, he said. Anytime.
- Thanks, Marshall.
You gave him a shy smile and immediately rang him so he’d have your number too.
- I can help you cooking if you want, he offered. But I should warn you : I’m not too good at it.
- You’re a grown man and you can’t cook ? You asked in disbelief.
- Well I guess I can prepare food. I even worked as a short-order cook, a long time ago. I wouldn’t call that cooking though. Neither would my kids, he said with a grin.
- I’ll teach you a thing or two, then. Let me just get dressed.
- Why ? He asked. We’re staying in. You don’t have to make an effort for me.
You shrugged and headed to the kitchen with him. Truth was, you didn’t want Marshall to think of you as sloppy. Even though he did not really seem to care.
When you entered the kitchen, you found Jamal and Talia hugging and kissing like teenagers.
- You guys are too cute. I can’t handle that right now, you said.
- Yeah, please don’t rub your happiness in our single faces, Marshall pleaded.
- Sorry guys, I’m too in love with this gorgeous lady, Jamal said.
Both you and Marshall pretended to puke. The four of you laughed and started cooking together while listening to music. You tried teaching them how to prepare some traditional French chicken dish. It was a simple one but you hadn’t exactly been given the most attentive students. Marshall was desperately trying to cut the vegetables correctly (nearly destroying them in the process), while Talia and Jamal kept on making out like teenagers. You ended up preparing the dish by yourself. It wasn’t perfect but the group deemed it to be good enough.
- Don’t worry Y/N. If you keep cooking like that, we’ll find you a husband soon enough, Jamal complimented.
- JAMAL ! Talia shouted.
- Sorry. Wrong timing, he apologised. You know what I mean.
You couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Jamal was really sweet and you knew he meant well.
- it’s good to hear you laugh, Talia said as she grabbed your hand.
- Thanks for being here, guys, you replied. My day sucked but you make it better.
- Anytime, Marshall said.
The four of you kept the conversation going but were soon disturbed by the door buzzing. Talia went to answer.
- Hey Talia. Is Y/N here ? I’d like to speak to her, you heard an all too familiar voice say.
- Simon ? You asked as your heart started racing. What are you doing here ?
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"Yearn For Me"
Hello guys!!! My last Toji fanfic received loads of love, so I decided to write another anime fanfic.
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“Yearn for Me”
Starring : y/n and Gojou Saturo
Description: Gojou is the Model student in y/n’s University. When y/n miserably fails all her classes, she seeks for help from her senior Gojou Saturo who is popularly known as the “Dream Scholar”, Gojou accepts her request but on a rather… spicy condition.
Genre- Smut
Content Summary- Sub!reader, dom!Gojou, University!au, praising, Overstimulation
word count: 1.7k
THE FOLLOWING IS NSFW CONTENT, VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
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This has been a recent fake scenario, and its eating my head, HELPP.
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“Not this again! I could’ve sworn I was gonna ace this paper!” but you did not.
Failing in an English paper has got to be one of the most embarrassing moments of your life, what was that all-nighter for? (you literally chatted with your friends online all night)
You teacher on the other hand was not very helpful was he? “y/n this is sickening, are you really trying to improve, because if this is your best, I would rather not see your worst.” It was a dead end. “I will not tolerate any more E’s from you, its either you pass my class or leave it” Dead. End.
The next day…
“Mina-chan, i suppose this is the end for me, this is the part where I sacrifice myself to the gods!” the entire cafeteria is staring at you as you bang your head on the snack table. “y/n you’re so dramatic, why don’t you take extra classes or something, save me from all your rants.” “Mina-chan so rude.” “or like ask a senior to help you out with the assignments”
“Mina-chan don’t you know all our seniors are stoners, all they know is how to smoke weed like a pro.” “Not all of them…” what does she mean by ‘not all of them’, the first thing you smell the second you enter a Year 3’s classroom is cannabis. “Gojou-san is a straight A student.” That’s a new name.
“Who’s Gojou?” you ask Mina and her face is in complete shock. She even goes as far as to call you a mummy from the Egyptian era to not know who Gojou is. “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? GOJOU IS THE EPITOME OF BEAUTY.” Who is this Gojou and why is mina going crazy about him, and if he was that beautiful and shiny and glamorous, why haven’t you seen him yet?
“Because he’s too intelligent to attend the lectures, he doesn’t come to the university often. But when he does.. it’s a sight to see” “Mina- Chan you’re so dumb, if he doesn’t come to the uni often, how will I ask him to tutor me?”
Well lucky for you. He was at the university that day, just came to submit some assignment in person because the professor insisted.
“Y/N !!! is this your luck?? There he is!”
And wow. He was a tall man, broad shoulders, blue eyes covered with his transparent spec’s glass frame, white hair held back with a black band. His aura was magnetic, you felt pulled to him. But it wasn’t easy to just walk up to him and mention your request.
Because, wherever he went, women surrounded him. It was as if he was a celebrity, they clicked pictures with him and talked to him formally. He didn’t seem to be bothered, in fact he acted as if it was a normal occurrence for him.
But you were desperate and if to pass and get an A in your classes meant that you had to walk up to him and ask him to tutor you. You were going to do it.
“Excuse me Gojou-san!” Gojou turned as soon as he heard you call him. “Gojou-san?” he thought.
“Umm can I ask why you were running towards me with that manic look on your face? Do you, by any chance, have any intentions of stabbing me?” he was amused, and his tone was rather slick. Not what you had expected. “N-NO! I – um – I had a request that only you can fulfill.”
He looked confused. Who would not be if you say something so blunt. “Just so you know, I don’t model, so if you’re from an agency, I refuse your offer.” With that he turned the other way and started walking. “What? No! Wait! I’m not from a modeling agency, Humble yourself. I am y/n from Year 2, you’re Gojou-San right?” -who does he think he is- “I think I am?” every word from his mouth was annoying. It was as if he knew he was amazing.
“I’ve heard you’re a straight A student, I’m actually really struggling with my assignments, I was hoping you could help me?” he looked interested immediately, “Sure, I’ll help you, but I take my tution fee in cash only.” Money? Fee? For a broke student like you, does he really think you can pay? “Fee?” you say with a startled tone. “Huh? No money? And you expect me to teach you, what do you think I am, a social worker?”
He started to walk away again, he sighed loudly saying something like “Do I look like a social worker? I think I need to fix my hair.”
But you were desperate. “Wait! I don’t have money, But I’ll do anything! Please, I really have to pass my class!” He stopped. “Anything huh?”
“What do you mean anything?” he walked closer to you, with a smirk on his face. “umm yeah! I can get you morning coffee everyday, or like cook your favorite food for you, I’m a great cook actually and I could get your clothes dry cleaned for you. You know, like run errands for y-” he stopped you by placing his finger on your lips, “I have servants who do all that for me, how about you meet me in the library for our first class after uni today. I’ll take my payment after that.”
You went back to attend your classes, but something about the way he talked was bugging you. What could he possibly want as payment?
Later that day…
“WHAT?! HE AGGREED TO TUTOR YOU?” Mina yelled at the top of her voice, “SHHHH! Yes he did, we’re gonna study at the library in 5 mins”, And with that you rushed to the library, you didn’t want to be late and ruin your impression. When you reached he was already there, doing something on his phone, others at the library whispered to each other as they looked at him.
You waved to him when he looked at you, and he smirked. As you sat next to him, something that you wouldn’t have thought of in your entire life, happened.
He kissed you.
And the girls went crazy, there was an audible collective loud gasp. He kissed you deep and for once you tried to resist, but he hugged you tight so you couldn’t move. What is he doing? And why ?
After kissing you, He pulled back and started to take out books from his bag. “What? Aren’t you here to study?” you were still too shocked to utter a word. “Are you shocked? Well, don’t be. This is how you’re gonna pay me. That kiss was an advance, I’ll take the rest of the payment for today after we finish.” This? Payment? “WHAT!” you yell in the lowest pitch you can “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IF THIS WAS THE ADVANCE WHAT IS YOUR FULL PAYMENT?” you say, still in a whisper yell.
“don’t you get it? y/n, I want to fuck you.”
No way. “Wait! I can’t do that!” you were stunned and a little annoyed by his confidence. Who does he think he is, you can’t just let him fuck you. “well then, no lessons for you, can’t believe I wasted my time for this.” And just as he got up he said, “You know, after that kiss, no woman in this room is going to spare you. Too bad.” You look around to see girls looking at you furiously, after all you had just kissed the man of their dreams.
Fuck. Dead End.
Now you were forced to take lessons from him. “No WAIT!” he smirks yet again, “Changed ya mind?” he says as he turns towards you. fuck. This isn’t good.
He sits back down and continues to take the lesson he promised. Surprisingly he was a great teacher. You could tell he put in the effort. But the payment kept bugging you.
After the lesson, he stretched a little and waited for you to pack up your bag. He grabbed you by your wrist and pulled you towards him, just to whisper in your ear, “don’t be scared, this’ll be a deal to remember. I’ll make sure you remember.”
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You pant as Gojou surrounds you in his embrace. You’re skin to skin, his length fills you up deep, the windows of his car fog up. Gojou plants little kisses on your neck as you ride him in a slow pace. “Can’t go on, m tired!” Gojou rests back his head as he says, “I like seeing you troubled, want me to help you sweetheart?” another smirk on his face. “yess, please Gojou-san!” you beg, you couldn’t have wanted anything else than gojou to help you, the slow pace was killing you, your thighs were tired. “let Gojou help her little slutty new student” he says as he quickly has you laid on the car seat.
“c’mon, don’t go quiet on me, beg.”
“Please Gojou-San, fuck me, fuck me!” he thrusts into you once, it was a hard deep thrust, “please Gojou!” Another Thrust, and as you beg him like a prayer, he fucks into your hole hard. Your wallas squeeze him tight and he grunts into your ears.
Gojou bites your ears softly, then the back of your neck, your back, your shoulders. He says “I’ve never met someone who feels so good on my dick before” “its like you were made for me to ruin you” Gojou tugs on your hair, as he cums inside of you, his fluids mix with yours as you cum with him, your hole leaks and wets his car seats. Gojou falls onto you, his heaviness acting as a sense of comfort on your body.
And just as you thought it was over.
He thrusts into you again. “Gojou-San! Can’t take anymore!”
“What? Did you think my lessons were that cheap? I’m gonna go on till I fuck with your head”
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA that was it GUYS! Lmk if you want a part 2! BYE.
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Used to it - thv pov [ oneshot ]
→ SUMMARY: its been 3 monts since you broke up with him. while your life moves on, his is in pure chaos. no matter how many times he reached out with his hand ... he never got a hold of you again.
→ GENRE: break up; angsty; talking it out; alcohol and cigarette abuse; stalking social media profile; university oneshot.
→ RATING: 13+
→ NOTE: some kind of other point of view. somehow i woke up today and had the urge to write a break up scenario from Tae's point of view. its not proof read, so ignore minor mistakes.
TAEHYUNG MASTERLIST ♡.°₊ˎ SONG FOR THIS ONESHOT
in the darkness of the room an empty wine bottle rolled under one of the little closets. a soft sound emerged as it hit the wall behind it. the only lightsource in this room was the tv. it didnt showed anything specific ... only static noise. someone might wonder what happened that this room became so gloomy and the only one who could answer this question, was taehyung. leaning against the sofa he downed another bottle of wine, at the same time his phone lit up beside him. like in trance he picked it up, unlocked it and clicked on the notification at the top of the screen. taehyung always hoped that it was you. that you would finally write or call him.
its been 3 months since the two of you broke up with each other. more precisely it was you who broke up with him. it came out of nowhere, taehyung had no idea how unhappy you were in this relationship. whenever he is a lone like this, his mind travels back to the day he first met you.
it was a warm summer night. the both of you went to the same university party. tae always thought that it was fate because at the beginnning, he never intended to visit this party. jungkook, his best friend and the most popular boy in uni, insisted that he would go. the moment tae stepped one foot into the huge hallways, his eyes immediately moved over into the right corner. you left him breathless in that thight black dress you were wearing that night. after that everything mixed into a blurr of laughter, silly jokes and your beautiful smile as you gave him your phone number.
those were tae's precious memories. the time after that night was perfect. it was like a fairytale. but now everything keeps falling apart, at least for taehyung. since 3 months he is stuck in his own personal time loop. every single day is the same, him waking up, barely making it out of bed followed by his heavy footsteps as he carries himself over to the livingroom. there he sits in front of the sofa, staring onto the wall and hoping you would finally call him again. it never happened.
another notification popped up on the display, hurting his eyes as it lit up again. it was jungkook, asking if he's okay and when he will come back to the lectures. everyone was worried about taehyung, they even tried to visit his apartment next to the campus. no one had luck, not even your best friend Sana. normally tae was really close with her but after the break up even that friendship kinda fell apart. sana was the one who told him that the both of you would marry one day. how wrong she was.
yet another notification popped up and this time, tae finally unlocks his phone. it was a notification from one of his social media apps. instagram to be more specific. his fingers flew over the bright display, hoping it wasnt a false alarm. scrolling through his feed, he finally stops. there it was. a new post made by you.
jungkook once told him that its cringe that tae still follows your account. he suggested to block you for tae's sake but tae refused. he knows that its unhealthy for him, that he wont be able to let go. at the same time he needed that. knowing what you were up to, if you were sad .. if you could live without him. as expected it was a picture of you and Hobi, another friend of yours. a smile was seen on your face as hobi had his arm comfortably around your shoulder. you even had a new hair colour.
it didnt took tae long to lock his phone again as he putted it back beside him. his head fell back against the sofa as his hand reached to the half empty bottle of wine. all this time he hoped that he would get used to it, to the pain, to the loneliness inside of him but the healing process never came. his mind was still stuck in the past. another big sip from the bottle made him sigh heavy. tae already felt dizzy as the alcohol finally took effect on his body. without it, he wouldnt be able to survive this empty feeling inside his chest. everything of him was in denial since that day. suddenly tears kept welling up inside his eyes, the bottle rolled out of his hand joining the other one underneath the little closet.
both of his hands dissapeared inside his hair as tae placed his head against his knees. alcohol was numbing the pain but at the same time it brought back all the bad memories of that day. he could see your eyes in front of him, how they were red from crying, how your hands were shaking. everything feels so real whenever he was drinking again. as he saw your quivering lip he wished he had done something to stop you. instead of sopping you, he only stood there, frozen in place as your hands changed into fists.
by now he knew that you wanted to hear something from him, anything. because after the break up you called him from time to time, telling him how you wished he would had stopped you and that it was too late for it now. in those phone calls tae was able to hear why you broke up with him. for him everything was perfect but you suffered in silence. all those gifts werent enough for you, you wanted a boyfriend who was emotionally available. something he couldnt give to you.
"i know ... i know i cant talk about my feelings .." tae mumbled into the silence of his room.
while he had received phonecalls from you ... 2 weeks ago they suddenly stopped. tae figured that you finally moved on from the break up. it was probably better like this, no one keeps calling their ex to look out for them. it was just a small nice gesture from you ... a final thing to say goodybe. to cut loose from him and the memories you both shared.
tae rolled over to the other side as he grabbed the cigarettes from the coffee table. since the break up he started smoking. you were the reason he stopped this unhealthy habit but now he had no one. now the half lit cigarette was the only light source inside the dark livingroom. the ray of sunshines behind the curtains slowly dissapear as the evening laid down over the city. out of the corner of his eye, tae saw another notification on his phone. this time, it was another text but not from jungkook or his other friends.
with the cigarette between his lips, he lifted his phone back up again into his hand. it began to shake as he noticed the name at the top of the screen. the purple heart was still behind the last letter. another thing he couldnt bring himself to delete, along with the whole contact info. with quivering lips he opened the text message. it was a short sentence which held a lot of meaning in it.
" ... please, be happy"
tae's heart skipped a beat. his fingers immediately flew over the keyboard to send you a message back. to tell you that something like this wouldnt be possible without you. the moment he wanted to hit send, something at the bottom of the chat caught his eye. it was another text, this time, his heart sunk.
"this user has blocked you. you wont be able to send messages or contact this user again."
in a slight panic tae opened instagram. hoping he could answer you there but ... he couldnt. even on instagram you had blocked him by now. a chuckle left his lips as his phone slipped onto the livingroom floor again. with his other hand he took the cigarette from his lips.
you finally did it. you finally had cut the last few thing which kept you attached to taehyung and all the things you both shared. tae was envious that you were able to move on this fast ... while he was still stuck in time.
standing up he walked over to the kitchen. there he opened the small cabinet beside his fridge, pulling out the third bottle of wine for the night. tomorrow will be another day. another day were he will try to forget you. maybe this time ... he will finally manage to let you go and get used to the pain he is feeling inside his heart.
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Do you know, I’ve realised I’ve never actually told you what I thought the first time we met? You see, for me, memories are difficult. Very often, they hurt. A curious thing about grief is the way it takes your entire life, all those foundational years that made you who you are, and makes them so painful to look back upon because of the absence there, that suddenly they’re inaccessible. You must invent an entirely new system. I started to think of myself and my life and my whole lifetime worth of memories as all the dark, dusty rooms of Buckingham Palace. I took the night Bea left rehab and I begged her to take it seriously, and I put it in a room with pink peonies on the wallpaper and a golden harp in the center of the floor. I took my first time, with one of my brother’s mates from uni when I was seventeen, and I found the smallest, most cramped little broom cupboard I could muster, and I shoved it in. I took my father’s last night, the way his face went slack, the smell of his hands, the fever, the waiting and waiting and terrible waiting and the even worse not-waiting anymore, and I found the biggest room, a ballroom, wide open and dark, windows drawn and covered. Locked the doors. But the first time I saw you. Rio. I took that down to the gardens. I pressed it into the leaves of a silver maple and recited it to the Waterloo Vase. It didn’t fit in any rooms. You were talking with Nora and June, happy and animated and fully alive, a person living in dimensions I couldn’t access, and so beautiful. Your hair was longer then. You weren’t even a president’s son yet, but you weren’t afraid. You had a yellow ipê-amarelo in your pocket. I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen, and I had better keep it a safe distance away from me. I thought, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire. And then I was a careless fool, and I fell in love with you anyway. When you rang me at truly shocking hours of the night, I loved you. When you kissed me in disgusting public toilets and pouted in hotel bars and made me happy in ways in which it had never even occurred to me that a mangled-up, locked-up person like me could be happy, I loved you. And then, inexplicably, you had the absolute audacity to love me back. Can you believe it? Sometimes, even now, I still can’t.
You shut the fuck up.
I can’t decide if your emails make me miss you more or less. Sometimes I feel like a funny-looking rock in the middle of the most beautiful clear ocean when I read the kinds of things you write to me. You love so much bigger than yourself, bigger than everything. I can’t believe how lucky I am to even witness it—to be the one who gets to have it, and so much of it, is beyond luck and feels like fate. I can’t match you for prose, but what I can do is write you a list. AN INCOMPLETE LIST: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HRH PRINCE HENRY OF WALES. 1. The sound of your laugh when I piss you off. 2. The way you smell underneath your fancy cologne, like clean linens but somehow also fresh grass (what kind of magic is this?). 3. That thing you do where you stick out your chin to try to look tough. 4. How your hands look when you play piano. 5. All the things I understand about myself now because of you. 6. How you think Return of the Jedi is the best Star Wars (wrong) because deep down you’re a gigantic, sappy, embarrassing romantic who just wants the happily ever after. 7. Your ability to recite Keats. 8. Your ability to recite Bernadette’s “Don’t let it drag you down” monologue from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. 9. How hard you try. 10. How hard you’ve always tried. 11. How determined you are to keep trying. 12. That when your shoulders cover mine, nothing else in the entire stupid world matters. 13. The goddamn issue of Le Monde you brought back to London with you and kept and have on your nightstand (yes, I saw it). 14. The way you look when you first wake up. 15. Your shoulder-to-waist ratio. 16. Your huge, generous, ridiculous, indestructible heart. 17. Your equally huge dick. 18. The face you just made when you read that last one. 19. The way you look when you first wake up (I know I already said this, but I really, really love it). 20. The fact that you loved me all along. I keep thinking about that last one ever since you told me, and what an idiot I was. It’s so hard for me to get out of my own head sometimes, but now I’m coming back to what I said to you the night in my room when it all started, and how I brushed you off when you offered to let me go after the DNC, how I used to try to act like it was nothing sometimes. I didn’t even know what you were offering to do to yourself. God, I want to fight everyone who’s ever hurt you, but it was me too, wasn’t it? All that time. I’m so sorry. Please stay gorgeous and strong and unbelievable.
And you also shut the fuck up
They make me want to curl into a little ball and cry for the rest of my life
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Hi! This is a fic rec of my favorite established relationship fics. These fics are organized by word count from longest to shortest. You can view my other fic recs here. Enjoy!
We Are Only Just the Beginning by afirecannotdie (129k)
In the dim light of a dorm kitchen, Harry Styles meets a boy who flips his life upside down. Three years later, he's a senior in college, ready to take on the world with the love of his life by his side. And then Louis Tomlinson admits he doesn't know what he wants to do after college after all, and Harry's world flips again, this time not so pleasantly. He can't imagine his life without Louis, but he's starting to worry he might have to.
A college AU featuring lots of domestic sappiness, waffles, tattoos, late nights and early mornings, and above all, Louis and Harry against the world.
Been Together Since Way Back When by alivingfire / @alivingfire (95k)
Louis Tomlinson is a law student with a simple but effective four step plan: 1. Finish law school. 2. Get hired somewhere awesome. 3. Marry his best friend and boyfriend of two years, Harry. 4. Live happily ever after.
Harry Styles doesn't know what he wants to do with his life, where he wants to go, who he wants to be, or if he even wants the college degree he's almost completed. All he does know is who he’ll be with forever, as long as Louis wants to keep him around.
Or: the painfully realistic college au where everyone's poor, lovesick, tired of school, terrified of the future, and still having the greatest times of their lives.
Such Good Luck by casuallyhl / @casuallyhl (66k)
Louis smiles at Harry’s words, leaning into his touch. “Tell me again.”
Smiling, Harry takes Louis into his arms. Pressing gentle kisses to his face, Harry murmurs, “In six months’ time, I will have my twenty-fifth birthday. On that day, my portion of the inheritance will become legally mine. And I plan that very day to announce to my family that I have found love.” Harry chuckles as he runs his lips lightly along Louis’ cheekbone. “That, in fact, I found love when I was twenty-one years old, and that I have loved and been loved every day since.”
Or, an Edwardian AU where Harry is a young aristocratic lord and Louis is a working class dairy farmer. Secrets are a necessary part of their relationship, but Louis has one that could topple their whole world.
The Dark and the Dentist by sunshiner (66k)
“I know this song,” Louis whispers, and Harry has to lean his ear toward him to pick up what he’s saying. “It was written for people to dance to it. We should be dancing.”
We can’t, Harry almost spits, but it’d be stupid of him. Louis knows they can’t. Even if he looks like any regular Parisian in their twenties, and Harry looks like any hipster Parisian in their twenties, they can’t anyway. To be fair, they probably wouldn’t do it even if they were out. But if they were two uni students, both in Paris for an exchange, meeting over fallen books at the library, or because of mutual friends, or watching Monet’s Water Lilies?
“How would we dance?” Harry murmurs, mouth almost pressed to Louis’ cheek, so close he can feel his warmth. What a picture they must make, two millionaires freezing in a park and dreaming of a different life.
An account of the events of November 2014. Canon-compliant.
Time Passed by coffinofachimera (66k)
Louis struggles with their relationship as Harry grows into his identity.
Hands Clasped Tight by afirethatcannotdie / @afirethatcannotdie (47k)
“What am I looking at here?” Harry asks.
“This, my friends, is a ‘proof’ Instagram account, run by your students,” Liam announces.
“It’s got all this stuff about how the two of you are together,” Niall adds.
“I heard about that,” says one of the math teachers. “Confiscated a kid’s phone today when they were looking at it. I have to say, the evidence that you’re dating is pretty damning.”
“Really,” Louis says dryly. “Do you think being married for three years might have something to do with it?”
Or the one where Harry and Louis are high school teachers and their students have been playing matchmaker for over a year. Little do they know, Harry and Louis are already married.
The Best Kind of Bad by wildestdreams / @thelavendrhaze (40k)
Nobody really understood Harry and Louis. Not even Louis. But for Louis, the world began and ended with Harry, and there were certain things he just wasn’t capable of explaining.
or Louis is the town troublemaker and everyone hates him except for Harry.
You Watched Me Sink by bananasandboots / @anylessreal (38k)
They’ve discussed it a few times - the boyfriend thing. It’s not like it’s some forbidden, horrific, abandon hope all ye who talk about furthering the relationship sort of subject. They’re mature adults. They’re in tune with their feelings, their hearts’ desires, the way those butterflies swoop in their bellies whenever they so much as hold each other’s hands. They like each other. A lot. It’s mutual, they know. But for now, they’re just content to enjoy the simplicity of what they have, and what they have is great.
When dating in secret stops being enough, then they’ll discuss that too.
Or, the one where Harry teaches Sex Ed and sneaks around with the drama teacher, and doesn’t realize how out of tune he is with his true feelings until everyone else figures it out for him.
Part 1 of You Watched Me Sink Verse
Swallow My Words by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf (32k)
Senior year is stressful. On top of balancing school work, family, and friends, Harry's lacrosse team is vying to win the state championship, he's not sure where he's going to college yet, and he has a secret boyfriend that no one can know about.
Part 1 of Swallow My Words
Loved By Your Mother by superglass / @gaymoustache (31k)
Harry stretches out like Venus with her lover, growing sleepy in the late afternoon light with a baby growing inside her. Perhaps not literally, not physically. Not exactly.
or
Harry struggles to come to terms with wanting to have children, and what that means for their relationship. Canon compliant, set a few years into the future.
True Love’s Gold by alivingfire / @alivingfire (27k)
Gemma starts responding to every single one of Harry’s texts—regardless of subject—with i don’t care, talk to louis. Liam lets Harry complain to him for hours on Skype, pretending he’s not doing other things while Harry whines about his problems. Niall thinks the whole thing is hilarious, texting Harry links to articles titled So, you want your man to propose? and 15 ways to get him ready for the aisle! and follows each of these up with page upon page of laughing emojis. Harry tries everything, literally everything he can think of short of grabbing Louis by tattooed forearm and yelling, “PROPOSE TO ME BEFORE I COMBUST.”
Or, it takes a village to arrange a proposal, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to go as planned.
If You Asked Me If I Love Him (I'd Lie) by allyasavedtheday (26k)
So Harry and Louis might have fucked up.
The day of their wedding was the single most perfect moment of Louis’ life and every single day since where he’s been able to call Harry his husband has been nothing short of bliss. There’s just one teeny, tiny problem…
Their families don’t know they’re married.
*
Or the one where Harry and Louis eloped but neglected to mention it to anyone. Meanwhile Lottie is getting married and the only way for them to not steal her thunder is by pretending they're just friends for the weekend. Featuring Harry and Louis as terrible liars who don't know the meaning of the word platonic and some Tomlinsons and Styles's who definitely don't believe them.
Part 2 of A Long Way From The Playground
Being of the Jealous Kind by zita17 / @louisandtheaquarian (24k)
A-list actor Louis Tomlinson and his partner fashion photographer Harry Styles weather the storm that is Louis’ fake relationship with his costar in the lead up to this year’s Academy Awards.
Featuring a fluffy teenage meet-cute, an angsty wine drunk Harry melting down over pap pics, Louis habitually overusing the word “baby,” and cameos by a vintage Umbro sweatshirt, the peace ring, and one hell of a Larry hug.
Or the justice for To Be So Lonely fic. Based on the lyrics to TBSL and a prompt where “Louis has to fake date some celebrity, while his boyfriend Harry sits at home.”
You Turn Me On, Make You Radiate by ballsdeepinjesus (15k)
When he presses inside for the first time in weeks, he’s pretty sure he sees stars behind his eyes at the staggering sensation of Harry’s body squeezing every inch of him. When he bottoms out, he stays buried inside for a minute just to catch his bearings, listening as Harry takes sharp breaths beneath him. When he finally feels like he’s under control, he presses his lips against Harry’s ear and whispers, “Are you ready husband?“
Harry throws his head back and groans. “Call me your spouse.”
[…or, a self-indulgent snapshot of hl’s sex lives over the course of 10+ years]
Garden of Edenby superglass / @gaymoustache (6k)
Another soft, grainy laugh. A puff from the joint. Green smoke towards the ceiling. Then hazy blue eyes back on his. “Said you wanted to tell me something. Was really important.”
“Oh,” Harry says. There was a reason he came back, an excuse he made up to find Louis and sucker him into letting him sit on his lap even though his weight often puts those thighs to sleep. “Can’t— um. Let me try to remember.”
or
a snapshot of being high and in love in Jamaica.
I'll Breathe Your Air Into My Lungs by blizzies (5k)
five phases of their relationship in a world where harry smokes a lot and skips school and hates everyone except his boyfriend and louis is in plays and is loved by everyone and they work even though nobody gets how.
Mon Petit, Little One by publunchesownmyass (5k)
They smoke, talk shit about everyone besides each other, and Harry wears his Mon Petit sweater.
Brown Skin and Lemon Over Ice by penceypansy / @penceypansy (2k)
A short one shot of a reunion in Italy, around the time Harry filmed the Golden video.
- He should know with more certainty which one is their bedroom but he’s only been here twice, only once since their things had moved in, and come to think of it, he’s not sure this is the room they slept in last time.
Regardless, he’s got clothes he knows are his hanging in the wardrobe, sees his old Stone Roses shirt crumpled and worn on the unmade side of the bed. He drops his bag, rummages through the drawers for a pair of trunks, goes into the bathroom to change. It doesn’t feel like enough of a home yet for him to be totally comfortable, but that should change soon enough. He can’t help a spray of the cologne sat by the sink, vanilla and wood and comfort.
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hii sweetie ! it's been such a long time since i ranted in your inbox because i've been so busy with uni and all the things i had planned this month (and btw i hope you're doing alright too and are having the best day <3)
BUT to the point : dom!junhan (yes, you ignited something in me with remember your first, i admit). because i was looking at the photobook of my livelock album the other day to show it to my friend and i stumbled back on the pictures of junhan on a fucking motorcycle and i need to talk about it.
so dom!juhan who's also a racer, and maybe he's even doing some illegal races because that's even more hot. he'll be getting cocky everytime you come to see him race, asking you to keep your eyes on him only before kissing you roughly and pulling you closer by your throat to show all the other men that you are his (AAAAH)
also he'll insist on bringing you everywhere you want to go, reminding you to hold him tight, maybe even pulling you closer to him when he feels you hesitating because you don't want to hurt him. and of course he does that because it's safer for you, and not at all because he loves to feel your whole body pressed against his back. not at all.
whenever he brings you homa late at night, he doesn't stick to dropping you in front of your door, no. he's coming up with you, pining you against the door and kissing you roughly. if he's frustrated because he lost his race, he'll be extra rude and mean : never letting you cum, calling his slut and whore, forcing his cock down your throat, holding your down into your pillow while he's splitting you in half to muffle your screams of his name, but even that is not enough to make you shut up about how much you love it when he takes control of you. also fucking you before his race because you're his "good-luck charm", leaving every exposed part of your body littered in his marks and your panties stained with his cum to keep you waiting until you both get home and he gets down on his knees to reward you. <3
(do whatever you want with that, i needed to let it all out)
I’M SO HAPPY TO HAVE A HARD DOM!JUNHAN ENTHUSIAST ON MY SIDE especially when it’s you omfg
cw: hard dom!junhan, pain kink, possessive behaviour, degradation, orgasm denial
racer bf!junhan who loves seeing you in the crowd and winks at you before the race starts. most times he wins and the first thing he does is to make his way to you and kiss you deeply in front of everyone. you feel his crazy heartbeat; the familiar hand is hugging your throat possessively; you taste the adrenaline rush from his tongue. so many eyes are watching you from all sides, because even though many of them don’t know you personally, they know who you are - junhan’s girl. you’re always there for him with fresh love marks on your neck and big heart eyes not letting him out of sight
racer bf!junhan who is extra mean if he loses - yes. he rarely does, but it always affects him a lot when it happens. he’s silent on your way home, and he’s still silent when he sits on the edge of the bed with hands covering his face. you want to make him feel better, and you do what you always do in moments like this - you stand between his legs only in your lingerie, and you caress his hair while anticipating what’s about to follow. you feel the warm sensation already forming in the pit of your stomach as he grips your ass roughly. “giving your body without me even asking for it? desperate slut.” he pushes you on the mattress watching your behind turning pink from his heavy slaps. “shh, you’re not doing this for me, you just want to get your fuckin’ cunt wet”
racer bf!junhan who lets out his frustrations all over your body in the forms of bites, pinches, hand prints and slaps. he fucks you doggy style with one hand around your neck and the other one on your mouth, because you start crying too loud from knowing that the ecstatic rush you feel building up in your tummy will be painfully stolen from you in a second. every time he pulls out he lets you fall apart on the bed with tears in your eyes, but you always rise up, mewling how much you love him; making sure he knows there’s no one else like him
he ends up overstimulating himself every time. not only does he get completely and obsessively lost in your body to the point of being unable to stop after he cums for the first time, but he simply cannot comprehend how much you can handle, and he wants to see when will you finally tell him to stop and ask for what you need. even through tears you keep looking at him with burning lust; your legs sticky from his cum, are shaking and barely keep you up, but you willingly spread them open again, because his desires come before your own. it results into him repressing your voice into the pillow and pounding into you till he reaches his high again. your overwhelmed body starts slipping from his hands as you break down, finally asking the question. “baby, can i c-cum now? please”
he flips you on your back, positioning you between his legs. “not yet,” he answers calmly, shoving his cock down your throat. he cannot always have control over his life the way he wants to, but he can have a perfect control over you…
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I Don't Wanna Be Your Friend / Matty Healy x Reader
Thank you to the anon that gave me the idea for this one <3 It is the friends-to-lovers story of my dreams the longest thing I've written so please let me know what you think! Enjoy!
Present Day (Aged 22)
You can’t believe how quickly the past few years have flown by. Especially, now that you somehow find yourself unpacking boxes in your new home, the home you are sharing with your best friend, Matty.
You and Matty had only recently taken the plunge to rent a flat together in Manchester. You'd just got a job here after finishing uni and Matty's band had just finished their latest tour around the UK and he was ready to spend some time relaxing and starting work on their next album. You'd been best friends for 6 years now and it had just made sense to the pair of you to save on rent and get a place together.
Matty was unpacking his room and you yours. Music was streaming through the house and you found yourself reminiscing on the day you and Matty met at college all those years ago.
6 Years Ago (Aged 16)
It was your first day back at college after summer and you didn’t want to be there. You’d come prepared though, with your noise-cancelling headphones and the latest album you’d been listening to, on repeat, as you walked to the first class of the day, which was actually one of your favourite subjects, music.
Arriving into the classroom you noticed a few new people coming through the door. One, in particular, caught your eye. You’d seen him and his unruly head of curly hair in the college halls, always with a guitar case on his back, but had never spoken to him before. You’d always thought he looked cool but had been too shy to introduce yourself, maybe now was your chance.
The class had barely sat in their seats when the teacher announced a group project and explained that the pairs had already been chosen. As luck would have it, your teacher had picked the curly-haired guy as your partner, so you had no choice but to introduce yourself.
“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you announce as he made his way over to sit in the chair next to you.
“Matty,” he replies, “I think I’ve seen you in the halls but you always seem completely engrossed in whatever you’re listening to in your massive headphones,” pointing at the headphones currently hanging around your neck.
“Yeah, they are the only things that help me get through a day in this hellhole,” you joke.
“What are you listening to at the minute then?” he asked. This turned into a huge discussion about what music you listened to and how the pair of you had extremely similar music tastes.
Both of you, it turns out, had a lot more in common besides the music you listened to. You also shared some favourite TV shows and movies and even what you liked to do when you weren’t working through the endless amounts of college work. It was clear instantly that you were both going to get along.
The class seemed to pass quicker than normal and it wasn’t long before you found yourself heading out of the door towards your next class.
“Hey Y/N, wait up!” Matty shouted across the hallway making you turn around to find him in the crowd of students.
“Yes?” you reply, unsure of what he is about to say to you.
“What are you doing at lunch today?” he enquires.
“Nothing other than roaming these halls,” you respond, gesturing to the bustling halls around you.
“Fancy coming to the record shop in town with me and grabbing some food?” he asks with a pleading look in his eyes.
“Yeah, sure. Sounds like a plan. Meet back here at half 12?” you suggest to which he just nods, before turning and heading in the opposite direction down the hall.
Present Day (Aged 22)
You remember that day the pair of you had spent the remainder of the afternoon in the record store, flicking through the vinyls, getting to know one another and ditching your classes. You knew immediately you’d found a best friend in Matty and the pair of you had been inseparable since.
You hoped you'd made the right decision by renting a place with Matty as you found yourself in a bit of a tricky situation. Over the years, you'd slowly begun developing feelings for Matty. You couldn't think of anyone better to share a place with but it was a real worry for you that it would somehow ruin years of friendship if your true feelings for Matty ever slipped out.
You were completely unaware of the fact that Matty also had feelings for you too. His started to develop a lot earlier than yours though. They started to grow back when you gave him a Valentine’s Day card 4 years ago.
4 Years Ago (Aged 18)
The last two years had passed by in a blur. You'd made the decision to go to university and so far you were enjoying it. Matty on the other hand had joined a band and they were doing everything they could to have their music heard. He'd been so busy lately playing gigs in all sorts of venues and travelling around the country. Mix that with you being overloaded with uni work, and the pair of you hadn't seen one another for a couple of weeks.
So, the pair of you had planned on going to watch the latest Quentin Tarantino movie, on opening night, which just so happened to be Valentine’s Day.
“Happy Valentine’s Day!” you shout at your best friend as he makes his way over to where you are waiting for him outside of the cinema.
“Y/N don’t say that so loudly, how many people do you want to make think we are a couple?” he asks worriedly.
“People can think what they want Matty, we are just two best friends here to see a movie and catch up,” you reply nonchalantly.
After stopping at the counter to get some popcorn, sweet and salty at Matty’s request, you head for your seats.
“Before this movie starts, Healy, I have something for you,” you say as you dig into your backpack.
Little does Matty know you’ve got him a Valentine’s Day card and some chocolates. Neither of you has a Valentine’s this year so you thought it would be quite nice to get your best friend something to put a smile on his face and let him know you appreciate him.
Holding out the card and a box of his favourite chocolates you excitedly say “Happy Valentine’s Day Matty!”
Matty takes them from you in complete shock, before saying with a look of sheer terror on his face, “Y/N! I haven’t got you anything.”
“Don’t worry my dear,” you reply, “I’m just being silly and wanted to make you smile. Please open the card right now!”
Matty carefully opens the card with two eggs cuddled up on the front and the words ‘Thank you for being an eggcellent friend. Happy Valentine’s Day!’ surrounding them. You watch him contentedly as he reads out loud what is written inside, “To Matty, thank you for being my best friend. I will always be there for you, no matter what! Love you lots, Y/N!”
You watch as the smile grows on Matty’s face before pulling you into a hug and whispering softly “Thank you so much Y/N, you know I’m always here for you too.” He slowly pulls away before looking into your eyes and pleading “Can we make it a tradition to send each other a Valentine’s Day card each year? I’ll even give you one!”
“Of course!” you reply as Matty’s grin widens and he gently places a kiss on your cheek. You can't hide the look of surprise on your face and, it seems neither can Matty as it seems to be a shock, even to him.
Life clearly wants the pair of you to sit in your thoughts about this though as if on cue, the lights in the cinema dim and the film begins. So, both of you turn back to the screen with so many thoughts whirring around in your heads.
Present Day (Aged 22)
Even looking back on this memory you are still completely oblivious of the fact that from that day forward Matty had been slowly falling for you.
That day was also the start of one of many friendship traditions. Every year since then you'd sent Valentine's Day cards to each other, even if you couldn't see each other on the day. Always with an excellent pun on the front and some sentimental wording inside. One day you were sure it would have to stop when you got your own partners, but for now, it was a tradition you didn't want to break.
You looked back at the memory fondly and thought of all the other random traditions the pair of you held. Your favourite tradition was one which had begun two years ago on Christmas Eve. That was also the year that you started to develop feelings for Matty.
2 Years Ago (Aged 20)
You always spent Christmas at home no matter what. So that's why you find yourself waiting outside your hometown's freezing cold train station waiting for Matty to pick you up. He'd just finished the first leg of touring with his band, The 1975, to promote their first album.
You'd not seen him for two months now and you couldn't wait to catch up and start what you hoped would be a new tradition. The plan was to go to your parent's house straight from the station. They were celebrating Christmas with friends and wouldn't be home until late on Christmas Eve. So, your house was the perfect spot for the rest of your plan. Tonight, you were going to order a takeaway and watch a Christmas movie. Tomorrow, you were going to wake up early, exchange gifts and just enjoy the festivities.
Just before your toes became a block of ice, a car, blaring music through its speakers, pulled into the car park. Of course, Matty had to make an entrance.
He'd barely stopped the car before he was jumping out of it as if it had burst into flames. He ran around the front of the car with his arms wide before picking you up, spinning you around and enveloping you in the tightest hug possible as he shouted "Y/N!"
You were certain he could feel your heart beating out of your chest. You were sure that you'd avoided the cliché of crushing on your best friend but over the past few months, a feeling for Matty had started to build which you hadn't been prepared for.
Something about seeing him live out his dream, perform to a crowd and still make sure that his best friend was happy and doing well at the end of the day, had you going weak at your knees. Let's hope you could hide it and it wouldn't ruin a friendship that you truly adored.
"Hi Matty," you say back as he gently places you down on the solid ground again.
"How is my best friend?" He asks.
"About to freeze to death if we don't get to a warm house soon," you joke.
"Well, your carriage awaits m'lady," he says opening the passenger side door for you to get in.
Hours later you were both full of takeaway pizza, cuddled up on the couch watching Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. You could feel yourself dozing off but didn't want to spend all your time with Matty asleep but knew sleep was needed.
"Matty?" You ask sleepily.
"Yes love," he replies.
"Can we turn this off and head to bed? I'm shattered" You say barely managing to keep your eyes open.
"Of course dear," he responds before turning off the TV and lifting you into his arms carrying you towards your bedroom.
He places you gently on your bed before softly kissing you on your forehead and whispering "Night Y/N sleep tight, I can't wait to swap gifts in the morning. I've missed you so much," before heading back to his usual spot on the couch, in the lounge, and heading to sleep himself.
What Matty isn't aware of, is the fact you'd heard everything he said as he put you to bed last night and it was not helping your growing feelings for him, at all.
That didn't stop you from running into the lounge at 8 am screaming "Merry Christmas!"
Matty jumped out of bed, fists at the ready, to fight whoever had broken into your parent's house.
"It's me you idiot," you manage to get out between giggles, "I was only making sure you knew it was Christmas."
Somehow you find yourself all of a sudden, being thrown over Matty's shoulder, and put down on the couch before being ambushed with tickles. The pair of you can't stop laughing and honestly, you couldn't think of a better start to your Christmas, with Matty.
"Presents time!" Matty cries out as he guides you both to sit by the beautifully decorated tree.
You exchange a whole heap of gifts including books, records and matching sweaters for one another.
Just when you think the gift exchange is over Matty pulls a tiny box from under the tree and gestures at you to open it.
Inside it is a stunning necklace with his band's box logo hanging from it.
"Take a closer look Y/N, I'm not just using this gift for self-promo," Matty insists.
You turn the necklace over in your hands to see that engraved on one side of the box is 'Matty + Y/N x'. Tears start to form in your eyes.
"Matty, this is beautiful thank you so much," you say through tears.
"I got it so that you have a little bit of me with you every day even when I'm away on tour," he explained.
"I love it!" You exclaim before pulling Matty into a long hug. You couldn't ask for a better Christmas.
Present Day (Aged 22)
Toying with the box necklace that has been on your neck ever since that day you can't help but smile. You can't believe how lucky you were to have Matty as a best friend and now as a housemate. You just hope your growing feelings aren't going to get in the way of it all.
Suddenly, there is an almighty crash right outside your bedroom door and you immediately get up to see what it is that Matty has likely broken. Instead, you find him standing in your hallway looking sheepish.
“What’s up Healy?” you ask concerned.
“Y/N I don’t think I can’t do this,” he admits.
“I’m sorry Matty, you’ll have to be a bit more specific. You can’t do what?”
“This,” he gestures around himself, seemingly at the towers of boxes in the hallway.
“Jesus Matty, we’ve only just got here. Give it a couple of days and all these boxes will be gone,” you reply, sounding exhausted.
“No, not that,” he stresses before blurting out, “I can’t live with you and pretend I don’t have feelings for you. I’ve been crushing on you ever since you got me that Valentine’s Day card years ago. And, to be honest, I thought you were beautiful even before then.”
You stand there in shock, unsure of what to say.
“I’ve fallen for you, hard, over the past few years. I love how much you enjoy our silly sentimental traditions, I love your company even when it's just sitting together in silence. I love your laugh, your beautiful eyes and the smile you do after eating a good slice of pizza. Look, what I’m trying to say is I love you. I can’t hide my feelings anymore and I get it if you want me to leave. But, I just had to let you know before I drove myself insane.” He confesses before looking down at his feet, clearly embarrassed.
“Matty,” you say as you take his face in your hands and look directly into his gorgeous brown eyes, “I love you too, have done for years” you confess. And, with that, you do the one thing that you’ve wanted to do for years, kiss your best friend.
Your breathing is heavy as your lips press together. It was like you’d been preparing for this your whole life as you feel yourself relax into Matty’s warmth. You can feel the thud of Matty’s heart against your chest as he threads his fingers through your hair. You both know this could easily go further, without question, but there is so much that needs to be said first.
As you slowly pull away from each other, you hear Matty mutter, “Holy shit!”
You are sure your cheeks have gone bright red but you don’t mind at all as you confess to Matty, “Well, I don’t think we can exactly pretend we don’t have feelings for each other anymore.”
“According to all our friends, I was quite poor at hiding them anyway Y/N. I mean how didn't you realise I wrote Fallingforyou about you!"
You stand there shocked at the declaration Matty has just made.
"But it seems you were completely oblivious to that and many other things,” he jokes.
“Says you,” you manage to get out between laughs, “You were just as oblivious as me!”
You both stand there for a few seconds in contented silence, holding one another, before Matty asks “So, where do we go from here then?”
“I mean we’ve seemingly missed a few crucial steps and already have a place together so, I guess we continue unpacking, take things at our own pace and see where this goes. We already know each other pretty well and we’ve got years ahead of us, so let's just take this as it comes," you suggest.
"That sounds perfect to me! I love you Y/N” Matty professes.
“I love you too and I'm so glad I can finally say that out loud” you declare before your lips hurry to find his again.
Looking back on it now, you can’t believe how oblivious you had both been to the fact that you had been slowly falling for each other over the years. Who knows where this would go from here? But, one thing about it is certain, you cannot wait to find out.
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