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i’m a little late on this, but i’m still in shock we’ve been together for a little over a year now. it feels like just yesterday you were driving to springfield to meet me for the first time. i remember i was so insanely nervous for you to get here because you were so cute & we had so much in common. i had no idea then how much you would mean to me today. you’ve become my bestfriend, my shoulder to cry on, my own personal comedian. i couldn’t ask for a better person to make so many memories with. you make my days sunny, even on the gloomiest of days. i couldn’t imagine a life without you in it & i hope i never have to. i love getting to travel and go on new adventures with you. i can never get enough of you no matter how much time we spend together. there aren’t enough words for me to explain how much i appreciate you & everything you do for me. thank you for dealing with my crybaby ass for this long, here’s to many more years. i love you so incredibly much, baby. @justcallmesharkbait

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i’m a little late on this, but i’m still in shock we’ve been together for a little over a year now. it feels like just yesterday you were driving to springfield to meet me for the first time. i remember i was so insanely nervous for you to get here because you were so cute & we had so much in common. i had no idea then how much you would mean to me today. you’ve become my bestfriend, my shoulder to cry on, my own personal comedian. i couldn’t ask for a better person to make so many memories with. you make my days sunny, even on the gloomiest of days. i couldn’t imagine a life without you in it & i hope i never have to. i love getting to travel and go on new adventures with you. i can never get enough of you no matter how much time we spend together. there aren’t enough words for me to explain how much i appreciate you & everything you do for me. thank you for dealing with my crybaby ass for this long, here’s to many more years. i love you so incredibly much, baby. @justcallmesharkbait

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call me childish or whatever,, my best friend is mine only. I mean u can be friends but that’s all :) don chu dare hehhe  :)

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Tabby and her sentimentality

- Tabby is a very sentimental person

- she will appreciate any little thing you give her

- she will try to incorporate said gift into her everyday life.

- to her it’s the little things that matter to her that shows that you care

- unfortunately this bitch doesn’t have much personal belongings and gifts that are important to her because her stepdad always took them away from her as punishment and never gave them back or he just threw them away.

- so she got smart and took whatever she deemed important to her to Rosewood Prep and kept said belongings and gifts she received in her locker and kept that bitch locked.

- unfortunately her running away was a spur of the moment type thing so she didn’t pack the rest of her stuff that was still at Rosewood.

- so they’re lost forever now.

- she does have her red plaid coat, a couple of sketches that her best friend gave her, an 8th grade class photo, and a picture of her family.

- her coat was given to her by her first love Heath in the 6th grade. They’ve wanted to be together since but they couldn’t because Rosewood wasn’t exactly a safe place for them. They weren’t mentally or emotionally mature for a real relationship. There was also too much at stake for them family wise.

- at least they both realized that they needed to work on themselves first and had a conversation about it.

-they agreed on waiting until the graduated Rosewood and get out of that awful school before entering a relationship.

- they also agreed along with her bestfriend Autumn that the three of them were going to leave Maplehood Creek once and for all as soon as they all graduated and could start their new lives together.

- Tabby worked on that as soon as she was old enough to get a job.

-over the course of two years she saved up enough money for three bus tickets and a little money left over to live a little while longer for the motel that they all planned to stay at. Until they all found jobs and a place to live.

- obviously that did not happen.

- everyone but Tabby died and didn’t get to fulfill their life plans.

- her red plaid jacket is the only thing she has left of Heath.

- she also has two sketches that her bestfriend Autumn made for her. They were both of Tabby just in different poses.

-Autumn was the artist of the group and she was always excited and proud to show off her latest artwork to Tabby.

- Honestly if Tabby wasn’t a poor bitch she would have bought all of Autumns artwork since Tabby deemed them gallery worthy.

- Those two sketches are all she has left of her. To feel some sort of connection to.

- She also has an 8th grade class photo.

- it was one of the best years for her.

- it was school picture day

- after the rest of the school did their regular pictures of classes and individual students. The photographer left for a few minutes.

- Tabby and co. Had the brilliant idea to fuck around with the camera and take their own picture of just their friend group.

- all of them together

- it was just of Tabby hanging off of Autumn front and center with the rest of her friends were in the background striking dumb and funny poses.

- the photographer came back and lectured them about still being in the room while the rest of the kids are away in class now.

- Tabby and co. Giggled their way out of the room.

- a few weeks later the pictures came back.

- Tabby and her friends got their picture back.

- of course they all got punished for it but the picture was already away in a safe place so it was well worth it.

- last but not least she has a family photo

- it consists of herself, her mother, stepdad, older brother and little brother

- mother looked sweet, tired but timid. Holding her hands behind her back.

- stepdad glared right at the camera with his arms crossed looking annoyed.

- Tabby herself was in a head lock by her older brother Michael, who was also holding a gasoline can like he was about to pour it over her head. She had one leg to the ground and one leg slightly elevated for balance.

- She looked like she was trying to fight her way out.

- she was

- Michael looked down on her with an evil smirk.

- Her little brother Adam was holding onto her slightly elevated leg with a toothy grin and an adventurous gleam in his eyes.

- she also has a school picture of Adam.

- these are the few things that she holds near and dear to her.

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So alam nyo ba na nag moved ako dito sa Canada almost 4 years ago. 2017.

Naiwan ko sa Italy ang family and friends ko, syempre pati bestfriend ko na babae. Simula nung andito ako sa Canada, hindi na kami gaano nag uusap, at meron pa sya mnga kaibigan, na kaibigan naman namin, pero nung umalis ako mas lalo sila naging close. Palagi sila magksama, nag popost, etc.. Syempre nung una nag seselos ako, ksi bestfriend ko sya, tapos nung nalaman ko na engaged na sila nung isang araw mas lalo ako nag selos at nalungkot, masayaa naman ako para sknya na ikakasal na sya sa bestfriend ko lalaki, kaso ang dami nya pinost na nag congrats sknila, mnbga post ng ibang kaibigan nya, pero yun sakin, yun sinasabi nyang tinuturin nyang bestfriend, ay hindi nya manlang mapost ang post ko para sa knila!!!! why? hindi naman sa pagiging kj sa kasiyahan nya, nalungkot at nag selos din naman ako ksi bilang bestfriend nya kala ko ipopost nya din yun post ko para sa kanila, pero wala talaga.


hindi ko na din alam if turin nya talaga ako bestfriend, if ako magigin maid of honor nya katulad nung bata kami, yun ang promise namin sa isat isa.


IM HAPPY FOR YOU, BUT NOT HAPPY FOR OUR 24 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP…. SANA WAG MO PADIN KALIMUTAN YUN.

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Als er weg war, war ich nicht traurig. Alles andere als das. Ich fühlte mich eher kaputt. Eine Mischung aus Hilflosigkeit und Perspektivlosigkeit. In meinem Kopf war die ganze Zeit diese totale Achterbahn. Einerseits war ich konstant leer und müde. Andererseits hab ich ganz dringend nach irgendetwas gesucht, was ich tun könnte. Ich konnte mich einfach nicht beschäftigen, nichts finden, was mir Spaß macht. Ich konnte mich nicht ablenken. Musik, Filme, Freunde - all das war nicht erträglich. Zum ersten Mal in meinem Leben konnte ich nicht mal meine eigene Anwesenheit im Raum aushalten. Es war zum Verzweifeln. Aber traurig war ich nicht. Für diese Art der Emotionalität, sei es Traurigkeit, Angst, Liebe, Freundschaft, Genuss, Freude, war ich nicht in der Lage. Die Vorstellung, dass er nie wieder kommt, füllte alles aus. Ich übergab mich oft aus Überforderung, ich aß nichts, ich schlief viel und sprach so gut wie nie mit irgendeiner Seele. Ein paar Jahre ging das so. Nur weinen konnte ich nie. Ich glaube, ich hab immer gedacht, dass er irgendwann wiederkommt und mich erlöst, denn diese Art der Erlösung schien mit die einzige Möglichkeit, aus meiner Situation zu entfliehen. Und wenn ich sie jede Nacht im Traum erfuhr, schien sie mir wie die lang ersehnte Befreiung aus einem viel zu dunklem und trostlosem Gefängnis. Im realen Leben wartete ich umsonst darauf. Und irgendwann gelang es der Zeit, mich mitzunehmen und mir Stück für Stück einen Panzer zu geben, der mich seine Abwesenheit ertragen lässt. Aber ich hab mich nie ganz von ihm lösen können und mich auch nie ganz erholt. Ich denke, 5 Jahre sind einfach noch nicht genug, um den Menschen aufzugeben, den man am meisten geliebt hat.
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Ok so my best friend and I always joke about how we’re soulmates because of how well we get along and have the some of the same favorites without actually telling eachother about it and it’s all a joke until one of us thinks of a fictional character as our lover and the other thinks of the character as a sibling or something jdjdjddj

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