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formosusiniquis · 1 year

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y'know like barbie

ao3

It's Erica who gives him the idea, incidentally. Though she carries herself with a maturity that far surpasses the boys most days and though she's been through multiple life altering events, she does continue to only be eleven. Which is, it turns out, prime babysitting age.

The Sinclairs are going out of town overnight, it's their anniversary -- 18 blissful years, since our marriage can vote we thought we deserved a night away -- and they don't want Erica to spend the night home alone.

Enter Steve, who the Sinclairs trust with their children and who is inexplicably the only person Erica would accept staying the night with her. Steve honestly didn't believe it even as Mrs. Sinclair was saying it. But he smiles and nods, looks over the emergency numbers on the fridge when they're pointed to, nods at the money on the counter for food that he probably won't take, and waves as they walk out the door promising that he and Erica will be fine for the night and not to worry.

It's only when their car is out of the driveway and the door is shut that Steve realizes he isn't really a babysitter. He is a keep children alive while in a dangerous situation and when the situation is over drive them around because you feel bad that their childhoods have been marred by trauma-er which doesn't have quite the same ring as babysitter, and it's a lot harder to say with that rude tone the boys have been favoring. He also realizes that he's never actually dealt with children, or not girl children. The boys had all been older than Erica, when he had started keeping them alive. Max was definitely basically a teenager when he started really dealing with her; and she was usually okay to do what the boys wanted to do, like go to the arcade. Hopper didn't really trust him with El and that was fine, he wasn't sure he trusted himself with El either.

It put him in an awkward spot now though. Staring at Erica in her kitchen, a little afraid to ask the question on the front of his mind which was "What now?"

So he asks the second question on his mind, "What do you want to do that isn't eat ice cream all night?"

Say what you will about Steve Harrington, and a lot has been said, but he always keeps his promises and he always brings a pint of ice-cream for Erica to have when he comes over to the Sinclair house. Tonight he brought three, all different weird flavors he thought she'd like to try.

"Why can't I eat ice cream all night?" She says it with a challenge in her eyes, but he'd bet dollars to donuts that she's just doing it to make him sweat. "Because I've seen you eat ice cream, we've only got enough for two hours at most." His hand migrates as if of its own mind to his hip. "You need more than two people for Dungeons and Dragons, right?"

Her brows raise, for the first time since he's met her Erica Sinclair is stunned silent. Maybe she's just surprised he got the name right.

It lasts about as long as it takes him to notice it. "You'd play Dungeons and Dragons with me?" There's something fragile in the way she asks, and there is the eleven year old girl she's meant to be.

"Sure, you'd have to show me how, but if that's what you want to do I'm game."

Eyes narrowed in a distinctly intimidating way he kind of thinks she stole from Nancy, he does his best to make his sincerity clear on his face. "We need more than two people, but I've got something else we can do if you think your fragile manhood can take it."

He's got a retort at the tip of his tongue about just what his manhood can take and remembers just in time that yeah probably shouldn't make a joke like that in front of an actual child. "My pride isn't that delicate, I think I can handle anything you dish out."

"Famous last words."

He follows her to her bedroom, waiting outside the doorway to let her space stay private until he's told to come in. A clear plastic tub slides out from under her bed, out of sight but easily accessible and when the lid pops off he gets why. Rows of Barbies stacked neatly on top of each other, a mass grave for childhood. Steve has a stuffed bear, fur rubbed off of one ear, tucked up on the shelf of his closet that also got put away sooner than he would have chosen to, when it was too babyish.

“Alright, so who is the, like, elven warrior.”

“That’s not how you play Barbies.”

It’s snapped so fast that he thinks it embarasses her. He tactfully avoids eye contact, pulling out a doll with blonde hair snipped into a professional, if uneven, bob and a green skirt set. She's missing a shoe. “Then how do I play Barbies?”

“That one just won the Nobel Peace Prize, she solved world hunger, but she has plans to kill the Barbie who won the prize in Physics because she stole Barbie One’s research and gave it to NASA claiming it was her own.”

“Right, of course.” This was the kind of shit that happened on Dallas, only Barbie had a lot more awards. “And they’re all called Barbie?”

“Except for Ken, but Ken doesn’t do anything.”

“Well if Barbie just won the Peace Prize wouldn’t she use Ken to kill Barbie so she doesn’t get caught.”

Erica manages a look that is both condescending and considerate. “Barbie can do anything, including get away with murder; but she wouldn’t want to dirty her hands with that sort of thing.”

“And if Ken goes to jail it’s no loss.”

“Right.”

So maybe it's more accurate to say that Dustin actually starts it.

Dustin with the shittiest attitude this side of the Ohio, something Robin blames him for.

“Like father, like son.”

“Dustin doesn’t even know his dad.”

“I mean you and Eddie, dingus.”

“I am not that kid's dad. A brotherly figure at best, strong male role model more likely.”

“He’s a bitch because you are, Steve. Maybe if your and Eddie’s love language wasn’t being as bitchy as possible it wouldn’t have rubbed off on your kid.”

“Please don’t put Dustin and rubbing off in the same paragraph let alone the same thought wave.”

Dustin comes sprinting into Family Video on a Tuesday afternoon. “Steve! I need your car.”

“Did you learn how to drive when I wasn’t paying attention?”

“Obviously, I meant I need you too.” His hands are on his hips, eyes rolled. Shit maybe he did get it from Steve. “There’s this theoretical physicist coming to Notre Dame to give a talk on the Multiverse Theory.”

Steve was allowing himself a second to consider whether this was worth it, for once, instead of just blindly agreeing to drive Dustin wherever. The drive sucked ass, but it would put him close enough to Chicago that he could try to find a music store that would carry albums from the international metal bands Eddie couldn’t stop talking about.

It was a second too long for Dustin. “Steve, a theoretical physicist-”

See Steve had this suspicion that the kids did actually think he was an idiot. He was pretty sure that none of them, hell maybe none of Hellfire, save for Lucas realized that every athlete in the school had to keep up at least a 2.5 GPA. Which might not have been anything to write home about but Steve kept a 3.2 for most of high school, until the multiple concussions started to catch up with him. He wasn’t stupid, was the point and even if they didn’t think he was an idiot in a mean way he was a little sick of the shit.

“I know, like Barbie.”

That shuts Dustin up real quick.

“N- no, not like Barbie! Barbie is some girl's toy.”

“Excuse me?” Robin, who told Steve that she would not help him parent his children on work days or any other day ending in y had remembered that Martes doesn’t have one and her shift was almost over. “What does that mean, exactly, a girl’s toy?”

“And,” Steve adds, because he can and because Eddie made him drive him to fucking Bloomington because he was fixated on time travel and needed access to some science journal that only existed at Indiana U apparently, “Barbie is on a research team looking for the Higgs particle so she can start figuring out time travel.”

The bell chiming as Dustin leaves has never sounded sweeter.

He’ll definitely end up taking the twerp to stupid Notre Dame.

The thing is that Steve thinks he’s never really stopped being a bitch.

He doesn’t want to stop. He likes being bitchy. It’s fun, when you’re doing it with people you like it’s pretty funny, and honestly he’s kinda like Spiderman. With great power comes great responsibility, he’s only bitchy responsibly now.

And it’s actually perfectly responsible as an older brother type babysitter figure to correct the behavior of the younger siblings by being bitchy. If they don’t learn at home they’ll go out in the world thinking that kind of behavior is acceptable, see Steve Harrington in his early high school days who talked to people like his father did.

So when Mike interrupts El with, “I’m not going to ask Steve, he probably doesn’t even know what a Pulitzer is either.”

He says, “Oh, yeah like Barbie won. Or Nancy will someday, probably. It’s a journalism award, Wheeler.”

And when Lucas corrects, “I don’t actually think you can win an award for comics. It’s still really great though, Will!”

“Barbie won the Kirby Award in 1985 for best artist, I’m sure Will is soon to follow.”

Or when Nancy tells Holly, “Are you sure you wouldn’t want to be something important instead?”

“You could be an actress and do something cool like go to space if you want, Hols, like Barbie.” And maybe he says it with a little more bitch than he should that time, but he’s seen the ballerinas in Nancy’s room, she didn’t always want to be an investigative journalist.

It gets to be second nature. When someone starts being shitty about something or to lighten the mood.

Erica doubts whether she should run for student council. It's her first step to being actual president, like Barbie.

Dustin makes a crack about Steve's possible future prospects when he butts in on a conversation between Steve and Robin. "I could do all three, I could be a counselor and a hair stylist and an engineer. Maybe I'll add EMT too, Barbie wouldn't stop at three, why should I?"

Or when Mike sneers at him, "What are you a cop?" All because Steve told him not to buy weed now that Eddie had stopped dealing.

"Ew, no, because you look like a fresh-faced little narc trying to be cool and you're gonna get ripped off."

"What so not like Barbie?"

"The Barbie world has achieved equality at a level that it doesn't need the cops." Eddie sometimes has to get high after a run in with Powell or Calahan who he still doesn't really trust after the spring. Steve has been treated to many a lecture on why the police were a waste of resources.

He lets Mike sit with that for a minute before he adds, "Like Barbie, I am very cool and know what it looks like when I'm being taken for a ride. If you're gonna get pot from someone other than Eddie, ask Hop where he used to get all of his shit."

It doesn't feel stupid, until El comes running into the cabin one afternoon that Steve has decided to join the rebuilding effort. It’s actually just him and Hop, who has started trying to quietly parent him, something he’s not entirely convinced isn’t revenge for telling Wheeler that Hop has smoked pot before. Steve is pretty sure El was crying when she came in, something he bumps up to a certainty when he sees how awkward Hop looks right now.

“You mind taking that kid? It’s been a long time since high school.” he rubs the back of his neck, Steve does appreciate that he has the decency to feel weird about asking. “If it’s anything outside of big brother shit I can take over.”

He does let himself get suckered by that big brother line.

El is facedown on her bed in a clear ‘leave me alone I’m crying’ pose but he figures he’s already here it’s not like he can turn around and tell Hop that he was too afraid to approach a crying teenage girl. Like that wasn’t the whole reason he’d been sent in the first place. “Hey Ellie, can I come in?”

She sits up, tear tracks plain on her face but no more are falling, and nods in that endearing, aggressively certain way she’s got. “Is everything okay?” He pauses and asks, “Was it Mike?” because he knows that’ll be the first thing Hopper asks when Steve comes back out.

“You are worse than Dad.”

“That stings, Ellie Bell.”

She takes a deep breath, steeling an already impressive will, “Lucas says it is okay to just want to be happy right now, but all they talk about is what they are going to do. Dustin is talking about going to admission early, Will talks about talking to Dad and Joyce about art school, Lucas worries about his sports and scholarships, and Mike talks about classes that count twice. I do not know what I want to be. I do not know why I have to be anything.”

“You guys have been through a lot. I don’t think anyone would blame you for taking time to just be a kid.”

“What if I never want to be something? What if I do not ever want to go to college?”

He’s made his way over to the bed with her, sits tentatively on the edge like he’s seen Joyce do before. “Then you don’t. You’ll probably have to get a job at some point, but that doesn’t have to be what you are. Lucas isn’t a landscaper just because he mows lawns in the summer.”

“You don’t think Dad would be upset?” she asks.

“I don’t think there’s anything you could do that would really make Hop mad. And you might change your mind. I've been out of school for almost two years and I’m only thinking about college now. Or you could go to college and change your mind about what you want to be. You could be a hundred things, you could be anything! Like Barbie.”

He feels like an idiot almost immediately. A jerk quickly after that. He’s made El’s genuine crisis part of his stupid running joke. But something settles in the room. The underlying tension, the thing that had the hair on the back of his neck raised. He realizes, now, that her powers had probably also been on edge.

"Like Barbie." She says it with a graven seriousness, like Steve's dumb little joke is a mantra now.

"Yeah, and you're a sophomore you don't have to have your whole life figured out right now. And don't take life advice from Henderson anyway, he thought it was a good idea to raise an Upside Down slug as a pet."

He mostly just used it to be a bitch though. Because it was fun. No, it was what he was good at. So good at it he didn't even have to try.

Because Steve had a plan to be bitchy. Specifically to Mike Wheeler who kept flirting with Steve’s boyfriend while taking advantage of his hospitality. Sure it was at their stupid Dungeons and Dragons game, and yeah Steve was the one who said they could host the game at his house now that Eddie had graduated. Yes, he knew Eddie didn't mean anything by it when he responded and usually didn't flirt back with the kids. But it was still the kind of behavior that had to be gently corrected, for Mike's sake because if he didn't stop things were going to get drastic.

His initial plan is already in action. He encouraged El to come along to watch the Party play. It was, admittedly, a half hearted plan. Wheeler got so awkward anytime El was around he mostly just hoped that would keep him from trying anything.

It isn't. Eddie starts to describe a new character, "Blonde and statuesque, she has a long bow in hand and delicate elven features."

And even though El is sitting a few feet from him Mike perks up the way he always does when there's a new NPC to flirt with. He is going to have to have a talk with Eddie about letting the kid try out a bard.

He does at least have one other tool in his belt. "Oh, like Barbie."

Steve knew what he'd get as he said it. A groan from Dustin, who falls for this as being sincere about as often as he falls for the dumb-dumbs and dipshits line -- which is everytime for the record. Will and Lucas keep their laughs small, enough that they're covered by Erica's snort. The original Hellfire crew mostly looks confused, it's becoming less and less their default as they warm up to the Steve he is rather than the Steve they thought they remembered; but he likes to keep them on their toes.

Eddie is charmed. He can tell. Sees him duck his head behind his screen and his binders, trying to preserve the stern and scary dungeon master image. That apparently isn't possible if you're smiling like an idiot at your stupid boyfriend, so he's been told.

And Mike has maybe been on the wrong end of the joke a few more times than everyone else. He turns an interesting shade of red, two parts anger and one part embarrassed is Steve's guess. The foot stomp is unexpected, but he expects its been passed down the Wheeler line as a shared signal of outrage. "Not like Barbie, this isn't some stupid kids game. She's probably a hot, wisened archer ready to reward us for helping her village, not some stupid doll that you're obsessed with."

Eddie's blank face with the twitchy eyes has fallen into place when he sits back up from behind his screen. His things aren't going according to plan, panicked face. "I think that's a good place to end things this week. Wheeler, Henderson, Jeff, and Lady Applejack you've all cleared enough experience to level right? Do that before next week."

Steve knows enough to keep his mouth shut while everyone packs up to leave. Sends a small smile to Erica on her way out to the family minivan, he knows she struggles a little being the youngest at the table even if she won't say it. He has to imagine that the outburst had stung a bit.

"You gotta be nicer to little Wheeler." Eddie chides once everyone is gone, halfhearted at best when he's telling Steve off into the soft skin of his neck. When he feels the admonishment more than hears it.

"I'm not mean to Mike." He says on instinct, he does try not to be. "And he started it."

"Definitely think you started the Barbie thing, Sweetheart."

And well, yeah. "I Barbie all the kids equally."

Eddie hmms Steve can feel the vibration of it through his back and on his neck. Eddie is about to start something he better plan on finishing. "He asked Hop where he should get weed."

Oh. "I didn't think he'd actually do it!" And then, "Is that why he keeps flirting with you, revenge?"

"No, he's got a bunch of misplaced jealousy because Will and the girls think you're hot." He toys with the edge of Steve's shirt as he says it. Perpetually cold fingers brushing the clothes warmed skin beneath making him shiver.

"The girls don't think I'm hot."

He hums again, nips at the blush red skin at Steve's neck. "El used to, Max definitely has a taste for jock.

"That's not my fault, you let Mike play a bard." He wishes he didn't sound so desperate.

"Wanted to leave the Paladin spot open for you, baby."

"I'm starting to feel convinced, we could go upstairs and you could show me your character sheet."

The things he'll say to get laid.

"Don't think I can do that Stevie, smooth as a Ken doll down there. Could show you the actual character sheet though."

His back is cold as Eddie pulls away, smirking unrepentant as he lets Steve have the tiniest taste of his own medicine.

"Barbie has a very active sex life, actually." He's never been one not to double down. "Let me show you the fun we can have without getting your dick out."

He does leave it alone for a little while, even though he really, really doesn't want to. But despite what his friends, his fifth grade report card, and his mom might think; Steve is capable of keeping a hold of his worst impulses when he wants to.

So he lets opportunity pass him by.

He makes no comment about Barbie when Eddie talks about how John Carpenter is a film auteur. Not even when Dustin tries to define auteur for him. Incorrectly, but Robin comes to Steve's defense.

Barbie goes unmentioned, barely when an argument breaks out about Nobel prize winners, of all things. He thinks the kids argue more now than they ever have like it's the only way they have to get their bloodlust out now that the Upside Down was closed. He was quickly boxed out of the conversation, even if Erica kept sending him little glances over everyone's heads. (She'd let him have Peace Prize Barbie a couple weeks ago and maybe he was a little obsessed.)

Holly wants to be a vet now, a singing vet who is also on TV, but mostly a vet. She tells him all about it while he waits for Mike to find his shoes? Definitely not his quarters for the arcade, the day any of them bring those is the day Steve brings the nail bat back out. He’s one impulse purchase away from getting one of those little coin dispenser belts that the employees have -- Gareth just quit, maybe he still had his? Mike's frown is a little less general annoyance at Steve and a little more confusion when he's finally ready to leave and Barbie has gone unmentioned.

He almost breaks again when Eddie starts talking about sports. Or he starts talking about NASCAR which is close enough for Eddie, he has a surprising taste for racing for someone who never wanted to put his van on the starting line at parties. A woman led a Busch Series race for the first time, what a year '86. He's got no opinion on Barbie's ability to drive at all.

He could let a joke go. He could be nice. It wasn't so out of character that it needed this kind of attention.

Mike has forgiven him by the time the next session rolls around. Delayed two weeks after Eddie screamed so loud on stage that he couldn't speak for two days, and then again for Jeff's emergency appendectomy. Eddie has stopped leaving pointed gaps in conversation for Steve to fill with mention of Barbie, he has had his thinking face on instead which is good for Steve about as often as it isn't.

He leaves it alone. A little bit of non-life threatening surprise is good for the soul, or something. Listen, he’s made it this far by only asking questions when shit is about to get really, really bad and Eddie’s thinking face has only resulted in something bad once or twice -- and they probably should have spent more than a couple minutes negotiating that particular kink anyway.

When the kids start showing up and nothing has come from the thinking face, he assumes it was just for them anyway. He settles in to see whatever shit Eddie is going to do.

"From the ditch you pull a human man, a paladin. His plate is dirtied by his time on the ground but clearly gleams in its typical state. He's handsome, a square jaw and fluffy brown hair-"

"Ugh is this Steve? You already made us do a quest for him," Mike complains, maybe he hasn’t completely forgiven Steve for that last interruption.

Steve has, by his own count been the inspiration for at least three NPCs for this campaign: a white light faction rogue, Sol, that the party had to rescue from the dungeons of the nightmare King after he was caught sneaking into the bedrooms of the prince -- like it was Steve's fault that Wayne had super hearing; a young fighter from the gladiatorial combat ring who helped the party rescue a group of kidnapped children that were going to be used as bait in the next round of fights; and the most obvious Prince Stefan who sent the party on a quest to kill his betrothed a Duke called Thomas the Boarish and rescue his knight Rowen and beloved Bard Edwin -- it's not like he could unkiss Tommy, and he could be a dick but boarish was dramatic.

He was not this paladin, assuming Eddie was telling the truth about saving the Paladin he'd made for Steve.

"Cut the out of character chatter, Michael, before it starts counting in game. The Paladin before you is handsome in a bland, approachable, non-threatening way," Mike opens his mouth again, how is that not like Steve surely perched at the edge of his tongue and stopped in its tracks by elbows from Erica and Joey. "He introduces himself to his rescuer, Will the Wise, 'Thank you, kind sir, I would have been down there for ages before my lady noticed my absence. I am Sir Kenneth.'"

"What deity does he serve?" Will asks, something suspicious drawing across his face.

"Is there a holy symbol on his armor?" Gareth follows up. Gareth has been backing a lot of Will's plays lately, Steve thinks something might be going on there but he hasn't wanted to deal with Eddie teasing him for being a meddling matchmaker, again.

"There is no identifiable holy symbol on his clothes or armor." Eddie says, there's a mischief in his eyes, the way he tilts his head with quiet challenge and smiles.

"What God do you serve?" Erica asks, blunt and to the point. She gets cranky when her rogue doesn't have anything to stab.

"'The Lady in Pink,' he answers."

Any time Eddie reveals lore shit there's always a bunch of people talking over top of each other. It always turns into the kind of mass blob of shouting that Steve has a hard time parsing out, especially these days. Eddie somehow manages to distinguish not only people but the things they're saying and keeps his cool enough to keep the story going.

"Roll your insight, Gareth. Jeff, with a 15 history check, you have heard some whisperings from your homeland about a newly ascended goddess but not a name. Dustin, you're not getting shit with a 5 don't even try that but my back story says shit with me. Will, pretty sure that's a cleric spell but I'll let you have it he's a Neutral Good alignment. An 18, shit, yeah Garebear he does seem to be telling the truth that is the deity he follows; but that isn't the whole truth, you know a lot of the newer pantheon have a colloquial name and a true name."

"I'm sorry," Lucas says, "we aren't familiar with your lady. What can you tell us about her? Why would she leave you there? And that's a 14 on persuasion before you even ask."

"Why would I have asked that, Sinclair the elder? He has stars in his eyes when he speaks, 'before she ascended she was already limitless. A powerful warrior, an expert marksman, a mage beyond compare. Her power grew and grew until the only place left to explore was godhood.'"

"And what's her real name, if we wanted to spread the word?" Joey asks.

"'Oh she's everything. She's the lady in pink, she's the goddess with the golden mane, but before she ascended she favored one name I assume she has kept it.'"

"What is it?" Mike asks, perched at the edge of his seat.

"Oh no," Dustin whispers, a dawning horror on his face.

"'Barbara, though she preferred it shortened. Nicknames you call them," Steve sees the joke, knows where this is going a split second before reality breaks through the haze of fantasy for the players around the table. Eddie's smirking now, smile too pleased and too attractive. "'Y'know like Barbie?'"

#steddie #steve harrington #steddie fic #and in 1996 when steve and eddie are expecting their first kid - a daughter #erica gifts them the barbie camper so steve has something while he waits for the real thing #listen you know that oh like barbie post with the steve speaking image below it #i saw that and this happened #i just wanted to try out a little steve and erica bonding #and it turned into steve being a bitchy big brother #steve and eddies love language is being dicks #but their secondary love language is not letting the bit die and i do believe that #so eddie had to take it up when steve set it down

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sunflowersandsapphires · 5 months

Text

With your steady hand

Of Oak and Ivy, Chapter 3

Series Masterlist Next Chapter

pairing: Matt Murdock x fem!reader

summary: Matt and Foggy go head to head in a prank war, much to your dismay.

warnings: Swearing, fluff, descriptions of homesickness

a/n: Did I mean to make everyone cry in this chapter? No. But here we are. (Honestly, from what I can remember, crying was a popular pastime my first semester of college.) We get a little Foggy vulnerability as a side dish for the Matt and Reader vulnerability. I had a great time with this chapter so I hope everyone enjoys!

w/c: 5.6k

Worrying your bottom lip between your teeth, you pushed the food around your plate indifferently. Your stomach balked at the idea of eating, but you were aware that you needed to. The only thing you’d eaten in the past 48 hours was dry cereal, and that had to be bad, right?

“You ok?” The quiet, concerned voice of Matt from beside you made you jump. In your groggy haze, you’d completely forgotten he was next to you, and, honestly, that you were out in public at all.

“Yup. Fine. Just not hungry.” Was the bland response you gave. It didn’t appease either of your friends, both of them frowning with worry. You’d been acting…off for over a week now. The cheerful, silly personality that Matt had unwittingly fallen for retreating into a worn out husk of a law student. Though he couldn’t see, Matt would bet dollars to donuts that the bags under your eyes were prominent given how sluggish you’d been recently. Not to mention that you hadn’t spoken up in any class the past few days, which was extremely out of character.

Though Matt was too afraid to admit that he could tell, he knew your blood sugar was extremely low right now. Oddly enough, you weren’t lying when you said you weren’t hungry.

“Are you sure you’re feeling ok?” Foggy prompted, seemingly following the same train of thought that Matt was currently on. “You didn’t eat much. Did you catch that flu that’s been going around?”

You shook your head, giving a thin smile. “Nah, just not hungry. I’m ok, guys, promise.”

But neither guy was convinced by your lackluster argument. After studying quietly in their room, and neglecting a plate of takeout, you muttered something about having chores to do and headed home—much to the dismay of your friends.

“Ok, what the hell is up with her?” Foggy scoffed, feigning annoyance despite the obvious worry in his tone.

“I wish I knew.” Matt affirmed, falling backwards on his bed and throwing his arms over his face.

“She said she wasn’t sick. Did something happen?” Foggy questioned.

“She might be stressed, midterms will do crazy things to people.”

“Yah, but when she gets stressed about school she is usually all…ramble-y and stuff. Not like this. It’s like she’s not even here.” The air in the room swished as Foggy gestured wildly, his passionate concern aggravating his already violent hand movements.

“I know, Fog.”

“You should try talking to her. She’s more likely to tell you.” Foggy accused, rolling his eyes.

Matt just snorted in disbelief.

“You laugh, but we both know it’s true. You have a ‘special connection.’” The blond’s voice swayed on the last two words, as if he were a middle schooler pointing out Matt’s crush.

“Bullshit.” Matt snarked.

“You wound me, Murdock. You think the heart eyes you two are always making at each other can escape my powers of observation?” What?

“How on earth does a blind man make ‘heart eyes’ at someone?” Matt chuckled, trying to cover up the way his chest was pounding at the thought of his feelings for you being returned.

“Uh, you tell me, dude! It’s goddamn unbearable. Not only are 90% of the women on this campus ogling you at all times, but you’re too infatuated with our mutual friend to even notice, and you refuse to date her. How am I even supposed to flap my wingman wings?!”

“I told you, Foggy, she deserves better than I can treat her.” Matt groaned at his roommate’s insistence.

“Yah, yah, lie to me all you want, Murdock, I’m taking notes for my best man speech at your wedding.” Foggy shook his finger at Matt who smirked. “Seriously, though. If anyone is going to get to the bottom of whatever’s going on with her, it’s you.”

“Hmm, I know she works tonight, I’ll see if she’ll talk to me about it during her shift.” Matt plotted aloud.

“Keep me updated, man. I worry about that little jitterbug. She’s too sweet for this cruel world.” Foggy sighed, running a hand through his long hair.

“Unfortunately, I think you’re right about that.”

Breathing shakily, you ripped the elastic out of your hair and began massaging your temples, to no avail. The pounding ache that had settled over your skull remained, increasing the likelihood that you’d burst into tears from ‘pretty likely’ to ‘it’s a miracle the breakdown hasn’t started yet’. Feeling a lump build in your esophagus, you turned to Jen, who was working at the bookstore with you as you slowly fell apart.

“You ok, babes?” Your roommate prompted, attentive gaze not missing your glassy eyes and choked inhales.

Not trusting your voice, you shook your head, looking at her pleadingly as your lip quivered.

“Aw, love!” Jen pulled you into a hug, siphoning tears from your eyes almost immediately. “What’s wrong? Still missing your mom?”

“Mmm hmm.” You choked out around a sob. Squeezing you tightly, she hummed in understanding.

“Why don’t you go sit in the back for a little bit? I’ll be fine holding down the fort.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive, babes. Go watch a movie or something. I’ll yell if I need ya.”

Nodding dolefully, you rubbed at your damp eyes and padded to the closet-sized employee break room in the corner of the bookshop.

Twisting his cane in his sweaty hands, Matt blew out a breath before entering the quiet store. His walk over from campus had been tumultuous despite the short distance. It had quickly occurred to him that cornering you at work might not be the best plan of action, unless alienating you whilst ruining the beautiful trust you currently held for him was the goal.

Against his better judgment, he shoved open the door, trying not to wince as the bell chimed to signal his arrival. Hesitating for a moment, Matt realized it wasn't you at the counter, but your roommate.

“Hi Matt!” Jen greeted him. “Nice to see you again.”

“You too, Jen,” Matt smiled, though the knot of nervousness in his stomach was expanding after hearing your soft cries coming from the break room. “Is, uh, is she working tonight?”

The older girl hummed knowingly, “Yah, she's in the back.” Matt thanked her but she called after him before he could find you. “Just, be gentle with her, ok? She's having a tough week.”

Nodding in understanding, Matt gave what he hoped was a comforting 'I promise not to spook our mutual friend' thumbs up, setting off to keep you company.

Knocking on the open door lightly, Matt heard you sniffle and scrub at your face in an attempt to look put together before responding. “I'll be right out, Jen—”

“Not Jen.” He answered simply. “Just a friend who thought you might want some company.”

Your muffled footsteps wandered towards him, pulling the door ajar when you reached it.

Matt's confidence stumbled, your salty tears and wavering breaths immediately setting him on edge. “Tell me to fuck off and I'll leave. I just thought—” His words were interrupted by a grunt of surprise as you fell solidly against him, arms winding around his waist.

“Hey,” His hands slid up to anchor you, one sprawled over your shoulders while the other stroked your hair to offer succor when you began to tremble with renewed sobs. “Hey, you're alright, I gotcha. I gotcha.”

Wiping your face with one hand, you stood up, removing your arms from around him. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cry all over your shirt. Shit, I'm so sorry, Matty.”

“Don't worry about that, sweetheart.” Matt's hand drifted to your clammy cheek, swiping a stray tear away when it fell. “That's why I'm here. You…” He paused, choosing his next words carefully. “You seemed like midterms were weighing on you, and I thought you could use some extra support. Let's go sit, yah?” Tenderly taking your hand, he let you guide him to the musty couch, closing the door behind you.

As Matt collapsed into the ancient cushions, he could feel the plumes of dust rising from the impact. Scrunching his nose against the resulting tickle, he eagerly enveloped you in his arms, pressing a kiss to your head when you settled against his chest. “Did you want to talk about what's going on? You had Foggy and I quite worried when you ran out on us this afternoon.”

Exhaling shakily, you unconsciously arched into his touch, his hands rubbing slow circles into your lower back. “I don't know, Matty. I...it's a long story, I'm sure you don't want–”

Feeling you tense up beneath him, Matt could practically hear your thoughts as you distanced him from the root of your vulnerability. “Don’t shut me out, sweetheart, please. Anything you want to share I will gladly listen to.”

“It’s stupid. You’re going to think I’m a baby.” You murmured, tracing the buttons on his shirt.

“I would never, bubs, you know that. You’re the strongest girl I know, that’s why I’m so worried about you.”

“You don’t have to worry about me, Matty.”

“Well, tell me what’s up with you and maybe I’ll stop.” He smirked at you and you groaned, though your lips twitched marginally.

You muttered something under your breath and, though he could hear you just fine, he scrunched his brow dramatically. “You’re going to need to speak up, dear, I didn’t catch that.” He cupped a hand around one ear, grinning when you rolled your eyes and shoved him.

“I said…I really miss my mom.” You admitted feebly.

“Aw, sweetheart, that’s not stupid at all!” Matt’s expressive face pinched in sympathy as he waited for you to continue.

“I’ve been talking to her over the phone pretty frequently but it’s not the same. She’s all I had growing up, I’m not used to her not being…here. God, that’s so childish!”

“No, it’s not. I may not be homesick for the orphanage, but I haven’t had the easiest time adjusting either.”

“Really?”

“Yah, bubs, really. There are things about this new freedom that I enjoy, of course, but I do miss the familiarity of my old routine. It’s not childish, I promise.” Running his hands over your arms, he smirked. “You know what is childish?”

“What?”

Bending at the waist, Matt drew his cane from the floor and turned it to display the two plastic circles that had been haphazardly slapped on the black foam handle. Taking the cane from him, you traced a finger over the new decorations and giggled.

“What the fuck?” Disbelief and humor slowly halting your tears, you looked eagerly to Matt for an explanation. Two standard googly eyes, placed at a lopsided angle, wiggled at you as you passed him back the item in question.

“My thoughts exactly.” Matt chuckled. “Foggy bought a bag of googly eyes at the dollar store and has been sticking them to everything in our room. I had to pull a pair off of my glasses before coming over here.”

“You should’ve left them on. Let everyone know what a serious law student you are.” You snickered, snuggling against Matt’s chest again. “Why, exactly, did he choose to do this?”

Matt chuckled, “I think it was his idea of a prank. Pretty minor offense, though. He’s told me horror stories about the things he and his brother used to do.” Shuddering, he bit his lip to keep from purring as you began rubbing his back. “It’s kind of…sweet though? I think it’s his way of showing me I’m like family.”

His throat clenched as he spoke that realization. You smiled, squeezing him tightly. “That is sweet, Matty. I hope you realize how much we care for you.”

“We?” The dark haired boy can barely contain his tease as he gave you the most innocent glance he can muster.

“Shut up, trouble. You know I care about you. Even if I’m not putting googly eyes on all your stuff. To be fair, though, I don’t think I’ve ever pranked anyone.”

“Really?” Chuckling incredulously, Matt was surprised that you’d never played a practical joke, given your adorable goofiness and slight pettiness.

“Not that I can recall. Is that weird?” Your mind was quick to plummet back into anxiety, worrying that Matt would be alarmed by your lack of a normal childhood.

“Of course not, bubs. It just seems like something you’d find funny, is all.”

“Aren’t they…mean?” The hesitation in your voice didn’t surprise him, his heart suddenly swelling with an intense desire to shelter you from anything harmful.

“Sometimes, but not the ones I’m planning.” He assured you.

“What did you have planned?”

“Well…” Matt eagerly divulged his schemes, egged on by your renewed giggles and steady heart. If pranking Foggy would make you happy, he’d gladly involve you in it.

A few days later, you were practically glowing with excitement as you “studied” beside Matt. Echoing footsteps in the hallway outside the door sparked a gasp and you spun towards Matt eagerly.

“Is that him? Is he here?” You nearly squealed.

Chuckling at your darling, albeit very caffeinated, display of giddiness about a terrible prank, Matt shushed you. “That’s not him, sweetheart, but you have to keep your game face on.”

Raising your arm in a mock salute, you jested. “Sir, yes sir.”

Dutifully returning to the book on your lap, you took a few inadequate notes on the chapter before the door unlatched, Matt threw you a grin. “Act natural.”

Foggy traipsed into the room, immediately picking up on the unusual vibes in the air.

“Hey…” Looking between you and Matt skeptically, he dropped his book bag to the floor unceremoniously before crossing his arms over his chest. “Didn’t know we had a study group meeting today.”

“Oh we don’t, I was just bored so I called Matt to see if the two of you wanted to hang out.” You shrugged nonchalantly, turning a page in your Civil Procedure book.

Matt was absolutely floored when the lie slipped between your sweet lips with sincerity. Given all the energy you’d exhibited before, he’d assumed you’d reveal the prank far too early. Trying not to look at you with the surprise that overtook his mind, he added, “I told her that I was studying for CivPro and invited her over. Is that a problem?”

Foggy narrowed his eyes at the pair of you, clearly not convinced something fishy wasn’t afoot. But his disbelief didn’t save him. Vaulting himself onto his semi-lofted bed, an inglorious noise shattered the tense silence in the room.

As you burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles, Matt was forced to continue to prank on his own. “Oh my god, Foggy, we have company.”

Turning beet red, the blond spluttered in response, “That wasn’t—I mean, I…SHUT UP!” Ripping back the covers, Foggy found the culprit instantly and hurled it towards Matt.

With a smug grin, Matt tilted his head towards the scrap of thin rubber. “What is this, Fog?”

“You know damn well what it is, you ass!” Foggy scowled, hopping off his mattress to point at Matt accusingly. “A Whoopie Cushion?? What are we, five??”

Still in stitches, you were leaning against Matt who was holding you up with a single arm. Foggy was unamused. “You know, I expect this childishness from Murdock, but you?” The long-haired law student bit out your last name as if he were a teacher scolding you for distracting the other students. “I expected better of you. Fuck this, I’m leaving.”

That broke you out of your state of humor. Launching yourself off of Matt’s bed, you stumbled towards your sulking friend with less grace than intended. Your over caffeination and extended time sitting had quickly drained the blood from your head. “Foggy, wait—Woah…” You swayed on your feet. Thankfully, Foggy caught you before you could hit the carpeted cement with your entire body weight.

“Christ, jitterbug, you don’t have to pass out on me to keep me here.” He sighed, handing you gratefully back to Matt who pulled you into a seated position at his side once again.

“Sorry,” You apologized sheepishly, “Got light headed. But please don’t leave! Matt was just teaching me how to prank someone.”

“She’d never pranked anyone before.” Matt explained further.

“Never?” Foggy whistled. “Fuck. Guess you’re forgiven then. Murdock, you’re still on my shit list.”

“For a Whoopie cushion? I’m sorry, are you not the roommate who covered a blind man’s stuff in googly eyes?”

“Et tu, brute!” Laying a hand across his chest in mock offense, Foggy’s eyes glimmered as he continued to play up his innocence. “I’ve already told you. That was our mischievous ghost roommate, Steve.”

“Ah, right. Then I guess we can blame him for the Whoopie cushion too.” Matt raised an eyebrow, silently challenging his roommate.

The blond mirrored him, accepting the challenge with an even tone. “I guess we can.”

Looking between the two of them, you felt a lick of apprehension roll up your spine. This was far from the end, that much was clear.

Dashing up the musty staircase, Matt fumbled with his keys. Slamming open the door, he ran his hands along the spines of books beside his bed, snatching the correct one. The book was tossed haphazardly onto the bed as Matt stripped out of his rain-drenched shirt.

Last night had quickly gotten away from him. Originally planning to stay up late and study for his final midterm, he’d parked himself in the library with a thermos of coffee and his American History textbook. Given your tendency to unwittingly distract him, and his roommate’s constant foghorn-like snoring, alone in the library was the most appealing option if he wanted to pass this exam. However, his sex drive was not as devoted to his academic success. A bubbly girl from his history class had greeted him, offering to help him cram for the looming test. He’d gratefully accepted, but they’d only made it through a single chapter before she’d invited him back to her room.

Exhausted from his strenuous activities and the resulting lack of sleep, he’d inevitably overslept. His internal clock was apparently not as effective as the blaring alarm that he normally used. Sprinting home through the deluge of rain, he had mere minutes to change and get to Legal Methods.

So here he was, relinquishing his soaked through button up to the floor as he plucked the first shirt from his dresser. Flinging on the shirt–which had short sleeves for some reason–and his raincoat, he flew out the door and towards his class.

He was barely late, but you still looked at him smugly when he finally plopped down beside you, eliciting a few laughs from other students in the classroom.

“About time you showed up, trouble. How was your night?” You murmured, trying not to draw any more attention to the two of you.

He didn’t need sight to know you were dramatically wiggling your eyebrows at him. “You heard about that, huh?” He asked, blushing furiously. While he was depressingly still hung up on you, the raw animalistic desires that composed his Id could only be suppressed for so long.

“Oh Foggy spared no detail when we got coffee this morning.”

Trying his damndest not to feel miffed that you’d had coffee with only his roommate, he aimed for a nonchalant tone. “Coffee with Fog, huh?”

“Well, it could have been both of you if you’d answered your phone.” You chuckled softly, shaking your head at the subtle pout on Matt’s face. “Don’t worry, trouble, you’re still my best guy.”

For a moment, all Matt could feel was the stutter of his heart. “Oh–uh, that’s,” He stammered, face glowing with a crimson blush. You giggled at his response.

“So is the raincoat a permanent fixture or did you just forget to take it off?”

Matt rolled his eyes, “Well, someone started talking to me and I got distracted.” Unzipping the vinyl jacket, he began to pry it off when a choking sound from you halted his movements.

“What?” He muttered, with feigned exasperation.

“Is that a new shirt?” You bit your lip to keep from laughing, already speculating just who had purchased that garment. The button down looked nothing like the simple ones Matt usually donned, and he usually dressed more conservatively in longer sleeved garments–there was no way he had purchased this fabric of his own free will.

Unlike the dark sweaters and monochrome shirts that made up the rest of his wardrobe, this shirt was…colorful, to say the least. The pattern was a horrendous combination of flames and hawaiian style flowers. A ring of scarlet cartoon hibiscus blossoms sat atop Matt’s waistline, composing a base for the flames, which looked like they’d been pulled off of a racist’s motorcycle.

Matt ran a hand along the hem, tilting his head in confusion. “This isn’t my shirt, is it?”

Stifling another round of giggles, you shook your head. “I don’t believe so, no.”

“You’re laughing. Fuck, what does it look like?”

“Um, it’s got flowers and…fire on it? Definitely not your style.”

“Shit!” Matt hissed, zipping up his coat as quietly as he could. “Foggy must’ve put it in my dresser.”

You bit back a smile, turning your attention to the professor who had begun looking for students to pick on.

After a few hours of legal jargon flowing in one ear and out the other, Matt could barely sit still—his mind already planning the trip home to inspect the rest of his clothes, which he assumed had also been replaced. Though he’d been willing to beg for your assistance, he’d only needed to ask for you to come with once before you agreed sincerely, clearly pitying him and his ugly shirt.

Sure enough, when they’d returned to his dorm and examined the contents of his dresser, it was filled with clothes that were most certainly not his. The textures were all wrong and you confirmed that they were all garishly patterned.

With a low growl, Matt slammed the drawer of his dresser shut, making you jump.

“Hey, it’s ok, we can just ask Foggy to put your stuff back!” You reasoned, placatingly.

Shaking his head with a snarl, he clenched his fists. “Oh no. This means war.”

You gulped, not finding an ounce of sarcasm in his words. If you were Foggy, you’d be begging for forgiveness about now.

The next couple weeks passed in an agonizing blur of lengthy readings and lonely work shifts. Matt and Foggy had doubled down on their efforts to out-prank each other, and it was beginning to take its toll on their relationship.

As the weather turned chilly and fallen leaves began to carpet the ground, you were finding it difficult to be in the same room with the two of them. After the wardrobe incident, Matt had sulked for two days, refusing to hang out with Foggy until he'd had his revenge. Armed with a box of hot pink hair dye and a few permanent markers, Matt was sure he'd be able to make Foggy look as ridiculous as those shirts made him feel. If your shocked reaction was any measurement, he'd say the effort succeeded.

Of course, Foggy rewarded this behavior with a prank of his own. Finding and removing his formerly pristine school supplies from mounds of loose Jello had been a horrendous sensory experience that Matt NEVER wanted to repeat. That was approximately 4 days ago and Matt was STILL finding dried bits of lime jello in his pen caps.

The two continued to trade practical jokes, currently locked in a battle of removing each other’s furniture. He was still working on his most recent prank at your next study group session. With the help of a floormate, Matt had been able to move Foggy's desk, chair, and mattress to the roof of the dorm. Sweating profusely while he heaved the plastic covered mattress up the last flight of stairs, he didn't hear you approaching.

“Whatcha doin'?“ You asked cautiously, taking in the manic determination on full display.

”Pranking...Foggy.” He managed. Fuck he needed to hit a gym.

“Well, that was a given. Do we think that this is still within the realm of friendly teasing? Or...”

“He can sleep on a bed...when my stuff...stops smelling like it's made of fucking fruit.”

“Hmmm. Ok. I'll be in your room then.” You replied, your words tinged with a disappointment that Matt wasn't anticipating. It irked him, pulling at his stressed consciousness uncomfortably. How come you hadn’t shown the same reaction when Foggy had moved his things across the hall a week ago? Shrugging off the guilt he felt, he mustered up the strength to shove the mattress up to its destination.

Huffing breaths as he shuffled down the stairs to you, he couldn't shake the lingering irritation that your tone had implanted in his psyche. You were sitting on folded legs in his bed, textbook open in your lap.

“Ready to study?” You questioned, not glancing up from the text.

“Depends, am I going to get a lecture?”

“On intentional torts? I'm not an expert, but I can definitely try--” Your innocent tone did nothing to soothe his growing frustration.

“That's not what I meant and we both know that.” He bit out, “If you have a problem with it, you can just say so, I'm not made of glass.”

“There's no problem, Matty.” Your heart stuttered and his anger sparked.

“Bullshit.” He scoffed, pacing in front of you.

“I don't know what's up with you and Fog, that's your business, this just seems...extreme, Matt.”

“He took my clothes, that wasn't 'extreme' to you?”

“I didn't say that! I'm just saying this isn't an effective way to communicate that you weren't comfortable with him touching your stuff.”

Rolling his eyes, Matt yanked the door open. “On second thought, I think I'm good with this chapter of torts. I'll see you in class next week.”

“Matt,” He couldn't bear to focus on you, your rapidly crumpling body language, the lump of emotion in your throat.

“Please. I don't want to lose another friend.” He pleaded.

Sighing in defeat, you closed the book and left without a word.

Matt breathed shallowly, matching his inhales to the pattern of your retreating steps as he cursed himself for turning you away. Setting his jaw, he swiped away a drop of moisture from his cheek and set off for the stairs.

It was hours before Foggy got home, out with a group of students from his Modern Dance class. Walking carefully into the dark room, he flipped on the lights and hunkered down on his bed, stripping off his dirty socks before opening his Property textbook.

“Hey Matt, have you started on the Property essay yet?” He asked the stiff lump of a man who lay in his own bed facing the wall.

“No.” Came the gruff response of his surly roommate.

“Shit, I was hoping you'd have started with our jitterbug so I could mooch some tips off you two geniuses.”

Matt didn't so much as snort in response to the bad joke. Instead, he abruptly rolled over and snatched his cane from its place beside the door.

“I'm going for a walk.” Matt remarked, icily.

“Oh, uh, ok did you want—”

“No.” Shutting the door firmly on his way out, Foggy blinked at his shadow as it disappeared.

“Goodnight to you too, I guess” He scoffed, turning back to his assignment with a roll of his eyes.

Setting your jaw, you blew out a breath and knocked on the door. When you received silence in return, you rolled your eyes and knocked with more vigor. “Matthew, Franklin, I know you’re in there!”

A very apprehensive Foggy appeared as the door slid open. Shoving past him and into the room, you gave a furtive smile. “Hello, how are you, I'm also well, thanks for asking.” You rattled off, collapsing into Matt's creaky desk chair.

Foggy was still hovering nervously by the door, avoiding your stern gaze, while Matt courageously pretended not to notice your presence--fingers running over lines of braille in a thick book. Folding your hands together, you plastered on a sardonic grin. “Now that we've got the pleasantries out of the way, I would like to kindly request that you two get your shit together.”

Your blunt words and brash tone ignited defensiveness in them both. Foggy spluttered and Matt turned to face you with a look of indignation.

“What are you–” “We weren't–”

“Cut the crap.” You interrupted the pair, leaning against the frame of the chair and crossing your arms. “You want to fight with each other? Let a stupid prank war drive our group apart? Fine. But the least you can fucking do is grow some balls and tell me that yourselves. I'm tired of the sulking. So, what'll it be? Are we done?”

Both boys sat sheepishly in their own silence. Foggy kicked his feet as if he were a toddler on a swing, Matt looked like a kicked puppy—crimson blush glowing on his cheeks as he pushed up his glasses.

After several moments of hesitant silence, Matt spoke up. “We aren’t done.”

Nodding in relief, you jerked your chin at Foggy, “Fog, you agree?”

“Course I do! There’s no way I’ll graduate without the two of you. It’s in my best interests to keep you happy.” It was clearly meant to seem like a joke, but the way Foggy’s voice trailed off at the end made you tilt your head.

“Hey, you know that’s not true right? You’re plenty capable of doing this on your own!” Frowning, you watched as Foggy’s face crumpled before your legs were moving of their own accord, carrying you to his side as he turned his glossy eyes to his bedspread. “Hey, Fog, I’m serious!”

Running a hand along his shoulder, your heart split in two as fat tears slipped down his face.

“Fog, buddy, you’re so smart!” Matt chimed in, crossing the divide between the two beds and settling on the blond’s over side. Tugging Foggy to rest against your shoulder, Matt’s head stacked against yours atop Foggy’s blond hair–the three of you melding together into a stressed heap as the heightened emotions of the past week culminated.

“It’s true, don’t deny it.” Foggy lamented from his place on your shoulder, strands of his thick hair sticking to the glistening trails that ran across his blotchy cheeks. “I have no idea what I’m doing, I shouldn’t be here! Maybe my parents are right and I should drop out to work in the family store instead.”

“The hell you should! You’re just as capable of this shit as we are.” You assured him, rubbing a hand up and down his sweatshirt clad arm. “And you’re not the only one worried about passing. I freak out about that every day!”

“Yah, but you’re not the one who failed the Civil Procedure midterm.” The long haired boy sobbed.

You froze, second-hand anxiety rippling through you like a stiff breeze. Matt’s head lifted from yours and cocked towards his roommate. “Oh Fog, why didn’t you tell us?”

“You were mad at me and we weren’t hanging out anymore and–and–” The poor kid was bawling, fists clenching around the worn fabric of his pajama pants as feelings of terror and embarrassment welled up in his chest.

“It’s ok, bud, just breathe.” You soothed shakily, trying to model steady breaths for him. Sensing your intentions, Matt smiled encouragingly.

“That’s it, dude. You got it.” When the blond’s breathing evened, Matt nudged his shoulder gently. “I’m really sorry that I pushed you away. I was acting like a fucking middle schooler instead of being honest with you. Just know, you can always always come to me, even if we’re fighting.”

“Same here.” You added, studying Matt’s blank eyes for a moment, “That goes for both of you.”

“Can we go back to being best friends now?” Foggy sniffled, pulling back to look between you and Matt warily.

“We never stopped being best friends, silly,” Pulling Foggy into a tight hug, you huffed a chuckle as he sighed in relief.

“Well, ya could’ve fooled me.” The words were muffled as Foggy continued to press his face into your cardigan.

The bed stirred underneath you as Matt shifted uncomfortably. Clearing his throat, you could see him building up the courage to confess, “I’ve never, uh, I’ve never really had…friends before.” Matt’s words were calculated, trying not to reveal too much anguish as he spoke. “I had a mentor for a bit, at the orphanage, but that was it. So, I’ll admit, I’m not the most…practiced at this.”

“That’s ok, Matty. We can teach you. Right, Fog?” Taking the raven-haired boy’s hand, you waited for the other’s assent.

He nodded viciously, swiping a hand over his damp face. “Of course.”

Squeezing Matt’s hand, you giggled. “You’re stuck with us now, Matty.”

With a satisfied grin, Matt threw an arm over Foggy’s shoulders. “Thank god. Who else will put googly eyes on all my stuff?”

Foggy smiled as you giggled, but his face quickly fell as you brought up studying again. “As for that test Fog, we can go through it together. There’s plenty of time until the end of the semester and we have two other exams. You can do this.”

“You think so?” Biting his lip, Foggy glanced between you and Matt.

“We know so, bud.” Matt promised. “We’re in this together. Right, jitterbug?”

“Ok, where is this ‘jitterbug’ nonsense coming from.” You scoffed, biting back a smile at Matt’s hearty laugh.

“Don’t ask me, Foggy started it!” Matt chuckled.

“Sure, pass the blame to the crying kid!” Rolling his eyes, Foggy elbowed Matt in the chest.

“You’re not even crying anymore!”

“You’re both deflecting!” You butted in, earning new excuses from both boys.

As the three of you argued, you remained a knot of limbs–shadows and pink rays of light dancing across your smiles as the sun set.

Thank you for reading!!

Bonus Content: the shirt referenced in Foggy's second prank!!

Taglist: @eugene-emt-roe@abbyhaslongshorts@mrs-bellingham@abucketofweird@yeonalie@jadeunstablexx@spider-murdock@0ctober-writes@danzer8705

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milfgyuu · 2 years

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What’s My Age Again? Pairing: Wen Junhui x Fem!Reader Tags: 8.9k, F2L, Fluff, Crack, Humor, Smut 18+ Summary: Wen Junhui is sort of a dumbass but he’s your dumbass and you’ve come to realize that you like him just the way he is.

A/N: this was 100% inspired by me obliterating my vocal chords in the car to “What’s My Age Again?” by Blink182 - also, apologies in advance my friends....Jun was perfect for this story and i lowkey have temporary romantic feelings for him. shhhh. temporary.

Warnings: [Sexually Explicit Content 18+, MINORS DNI] the mc/reader is bisexual! language, adult themes throughout, protected sex (mxf), oral (f/m), face sitting (f), sixty-nine (spongebob voice), lots of gentle bullying between friends, threatening someone with peanuts.

The light tapping of your finger nails almost matches time perfectly with the clock on the wall.

You’re on your regular night shift which could be worse, but as it stands, it’s just a whole lot of standing around and doing nothing. Yo-Nuts - as ridiculously stupid as the name sounded, was actually pretty popular…during daylight hours.

A combination frozen yogurt and donut joint that stood alone on a quiet corner didn’t really attract much attention at night but the owner was one of those generational money kids who built the place on a whim after a night of the munchies for two very specific things that weren’t typically available at night.

Frozen yogurt and donuts. Yo-Nuts. Points for originality.

You also can’t complain because you’re working with your designated himbo, per usual. Jun is one of those really tall, really good looking nice boys who are especially…dumb but in a likeable sort of way. He’s goofy and a little immature but you enjoy his company. The long quiet nights are filled with laughter, conversation, and a lot of shit you probably shouldn’t be doing while getting paid - most of which Jun instigates.

“Hey,” you hear from somewhere behind you, “Psssssssst!”

You put your phone down and look over your shoulder to see Jun across the store holding a glazed donut up to his mouth, flicking his tongue through the middle suggestively, like an idiot.

You snort but pretend to be unimpressed and he, very briefly considers putting the donut back before tossing it in the trash. The boss let’s them eat whatever they want anyway so it’s not like anyone is truly caring for the inventory numbers. He comes up to the counter where you’re sort of monitoring the floor and leans down to whisper, “When do you think that guy will leave?”

“He’s gonna ask for more gummy bears, bet.”

Jun holds out his hand immediately. “If he leaves without asking, you have to lick my armpit.”

You give a look of thinly veiled disgust, “You’re so weird,” and then slap your hand into his, “If he does, I’m giving you a wedgie.”

Jun’s nose crinkles as he thinks about the last time he lost a bet with those odds. His ass crack was scarred for life, but Jun also had a plan this time around, “Deal.”

His efforts were amusing to say the least.

It was mostly just him sitting behind the counter trying to make direct eye contact with this poor man sitting alone in the shop, trying to enjoy his fro-yo in peace. Every time he looked up, Jun was somehow in his line of vision. Cleaning a table, examining a sprinkle, spritzing a window, hovering around floor like an absolute creeper. He got distracted though.

He’d found a dollar bill on the floor under a table and the guy got up and beelined it toward the counter. You painted on the friendliest smile when he asked for extra gummy bears and wished him well on his way out the door. For some reason he thought his treat was better tasting at home. Probably because he wasn’t being stalked while he ate it.

Jun caught the interaction just as the customer was leaving and he sulked across the entire empty shop, heavy feet stomping each step of the way. “How come you always win?”

Laughing, you circle the counter and Jun takes a careful step backwards. “Have mercy on my cheeks,” he begs, “I wouldn’t actually make you lick my pit had I won!”

“Yes, you would have,” you step closer and jump at him, making him squeal a bit, “Don’t drag out the torture. Bring that ass here boy.”

“What if I'm not wearing underwear?” He giggles, backing into a table and jumping out of the way, “Didja ever think about that?”

You back off and smirk, walking back toward the counter, “It’s fine…I don’t mind waiting and catching you off guard. Let you slip into a false sense of security before I destroy your ass.”

His face drops and he automatically clenches out of fear. “Ohhh,” he blows out with narrowed eyes, “You’re pure evil.”

You smile angelically and then tilt your neck sharply like a broken doll, and Jun shudders, very slowly and wearily joining you back behind the counter you’ve perched on. He offers a very tiny smile like a white flag and you grin, keeping him on his toes.

“Soooooooo,” he drawls out, “Pretty sure Rin is never calling me back…”

Rin is the super hot girl Jun’s been talking to lately and she is so far out of his league it’s insane. She drives a brand new Audi and owns her own clothing line but apparently she likes funny guys and there is anyone doofier than Wen Junhui. Again, dumb but objectively attractive. The thing is, she is just way too mature for him. She’s running a high-end business and he works in a fro-yo shop and thinks butt jokes are still funny.

It’s too bad Rin’s not into girls.

You sigh, unsurprised. “What did you do?”

Jun’s face falls and he purses his lips, “Why do you always assume I did something?”

You merely blink back and him and he deflates. “I think she wanted to have sex with me and I screwed things up.”

You automatically laugh and he whines at your reaction, crying about you never taking him seriously. You choke down the laughter but can’t dim the smirk upon your lips, “I’m intrigued, please,” you gesture to the empty space between you, “Paint me a picture.”

Jun leans against the opposite counter, sighing as he recounts the details. “I took her out last Friday and we had dinner and then she said she wanted to come hang out at my place so we went home and we were watching a new movie,” he gets distracted and then really excited, “You know that Blissful Revenge movie I wanted to see, right?”

You nod amusedly, of course. He’s talked about it for weeks.

“So, we were watching it and she kept getting closer which is like cool, I like to snuggle, and then she started kissing my neck and you know how ticklish I am so I kept laughing and she stopped. Then she climbed on my lap and blocked the whole tv and we started making out but I think she saw that I kept trying to look around her to watch the movie and she got pissed and left,” he grimaces awkwardly, “I asked if I could walk her to her car and she said no. So, I stayed inside and watched the rest of the movie by myself.”

Riveting. “Was the movie good?”

His face lights up, “Dude, yes it was amazing! The graphics were so much better than the last movie and it was like a hundred times more gory,” he spreads he hands out and smiles serenely, “Blood and guts, everywhere.”

“Hey,” you look at him curiously, waving your hand, “Come here for a sec…”

Jun looks worried and touches his face then his hair and moves slowly towards you, ‘What-”

“Hold still,” You caution him and as soon as he’s close enough, you reach around and smack him in the back of the head.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” You ask incredulously, “You have hot and horny girl in your lap and you’re too busy watching tv?! You’ve fumbled the bag, severely. Idiot.”

Jun winces and rubs his head, mussing his hair. “I just don’t get why we couldn’t do it after the movie was over…”

You roll your eyes skyward, begging aloud for Rin to just give you one chance. One chance is all you need to treat her right unlike this towering doofus in front of you.

“Jun,” you say with an incredible amount of patience, “Are you a virgin?”

He narrows his eyes and scoffs, “No.”

No elaboration, interesting.

“Do you like having sex with hot girls?”

He snorts, “Uh, obviously? Don’t you?”

You jut out your chin sarcastically, “Obviously,” you roll your eyes, “And I’m way better at it than you apparently. Do you, like, not know how to tell if a girl is horny? Or into you, in general?”

Jun says nothing but he opens and closes his mouth a few times, scoffing and walking in circles with his hands on his hips, occasionally bringing one up in the air like he’s about to make a point and then lowering it again without a word.

“Dude, you don’t know how to read women at all, do you?”

He finally sighs and dejectedly slumps against the counter next to you. “Women are so beautiful and so mysterious,” he groans, “They don’t talk with their words. How am I supposed to guess what they want?”

Another incredulous look crosses your face. “Her kissing your neck, climbing into your lap, and initiating a make-out session was not clear enough body language for you?”

“We were watching a movie!” he shouts word for word.

“No,” you loudly correct him, “You were watching a movie. She was trying to fuck you! If there is one thing women hate most, it’s being ignored. Especially when they’re trying to initiate intimacy. If she walked out, I can almost guarantee this has happened before with you.”

He seems contemplative but then a couple walk in and you paste on your customer service face and greet them, taking their order. You and Jun work in relative silence, passing things back and forth to each other then to the customers and they leave, emptying out the place once again.

“So, that one time I asked her to watch me play video games and she kept trying to take off my pants…”

He ducks as you throw a handful of m&ms at his head and shouts, “WHY?”

You glare at him and point at the floor, whispering threateningly, “Pick those up,” before he’s running for a broom and dust pan.

He sulks around the shop while you hide in the office, choosing to kick your feet up on the desk and watch an episode on Netflix. Jun is made to watch the floor as punishment for being a dumbass. He has to reflect on the consequences of his actions.

It’s not long before he’s poking his head into the office, a pout plastered on his useless lips. “Whadda you want, virgin?” you ask without looking up.

His forces a teeny, feeble voice and bows his head, “Teach me your ways, sensei.”

You pause your show and look up with a flat face. “I’m not taking on new students.”

He drops to his knees and you both grimace at the crunchy sound they make. “I am begging you,” he shakes his hands, pleading, “I will do the floors and bathrooms myself for a month!”

You narrow you eyes and he folds, “FOR ETERNITY!”

Sighing long and hard you set your phone down and adjust the computer monitor so you can see the front doors should someone come in. “Listen and listen well, young grasshopper. Today is lesson one in ‘How not to be a clueless, immature loser’, ok?”

“You’re a goddess,” he sags in relief, snickering when you sharply tell him to shut up.

And this is how you spend your shifts for the next few weeks, with Jun following you around asking questions and giving hypothetical scenarios. He attempted to rekindle things with Rin, but she’d long since moved on to a much older man with a private yacht and fat 401k. Poor kid hadn’t stood a chance.

He hadn’t really made an effort to see anyone else either, which you pointed out one day.

“You know,” you twirl a strawberry glazed donut around your finger before taking another bite, “You ought to be putting my incredibly wise and carefully taught methods into practice. What’s the point if you stop talking to girls all together?”

Jun scoffs and spreads his arms, balancing half his weight on the broomstick in his hand. “I have been trying,” he complains, “I hooked up with this girl I met at the club and when I texted her the next day, like you said, she ghosted me.”

You hold your eyes shut for a very long time and poke your tongue in your cheek. “Ok,” you blink, “Walk me through it.”

“We danced-”

“Skip ahead, Jun,” you huff in frustration, “Your place or hers?”

“Mine.”

“I offered her a drink and asked if she wanted to play video games.”

“Christ…okay. Then what?”

“We played Mario Kart and she sucked,” Jun answers with a frown before perking up like he’s about to deliver the good news, “Then she asked if she could blow me and I said yes!”

“Thrilling,” you sip from your near empty drink and gesture for him to continue, “And did you pay attention to her?”

His smile falters and he chuckles awkwardly, “She wasn’t very good at it and seemed kinda irritated that I didn’t have a better reaction but like, isn’t it rude to fake it?”

“Did you attempt to help her in anyway? Remember the whole communication thing?”

“I was going to but then she gave up and it was kind of awkward so I suggested we go to my room to bang.”

“Verbatim?” you nearly choke on your donut, “You- nevermind,” you hold your hand up, “How was the sex?”

Jun shrugs, “Fine?”

“Fine?” you repeat, “What does ‘fine’ mean?”

He scrunches up his face. “She was so boring. Dead silent, missionary, lights off.”

You frown in thought, “That is boring,” you shake you empty cup and Jun takes it from you to refill it, “This one sounds like it’s not one-hundred percent your fault.”

“I didn’t even finish,” he laughs, handing the cup back to you, “I asked if she wanted to stay and chill but she said she didn’t think we really had anything in common so she just kinda left.”

“Why did you ask her to stay if you guys didn’t hit it off?”

“I don’t know,” he mumbles, “It felt yucky asking her to leave after we hooked up.”

“Oh, Jun,” you pout your lip out sincerely, “You’re many things, most of them being dumb, but you really are a sweetheart. I’m beginning to think half your problem is that you’re going for the wrong type.”

He accidentally bumps the register and the cash drawer comes flying out, the corner of it nailing him in the hip. He bows over and you scramble off the counter. “Shit, are you okay? I told Jim to fix the fucking drawer!”

You tug his shirt up and sure enough there is a small cut, purple and angry. “Ouch,” he says dumbly but you’re already dragging him to the back office by the arm, grumbling about giving your manager an earful when you spoke to him next. Jun patiently waits as you slam drawers and cabinets until you find a first aid kit and start grabbing things out of it.

“What do you mean I’m going for the wrong type?” he asks, wincing when you dab his cut with alcohol as gently as you can.

“Well, I don’t think you’re shallow or anything but you like pretty girls and most of time, the ones you pick, have nothing in common with you, interests or personality wise.”

“Soooo I have to find a girl who likes all the things I like?”

You snort. That’s a unicorn of a woman. “No, just find a girl who likes you for you, stupid. Someone who cares enough about you to be interested in your hobbies just because they make you happy and understands the way your tiny brain works.”

Jun hums in thought as you smooth a Band-Aid over his cut with your thumb softly. He glances down at the crown of your head and his eyes widen in shock and sudden realization .

“Like you…”

You pick your head up. “What?”

“You like me for me-”

You stand up and put your hands out about to cut him off but he advances on you, thoughts spewing from his lips in a mad dash to spell out the connection.

“You like me even though you think I'm dumb and immature. You always laugh at my jokes and listen to me talk about all the stuff I like and we play games together and you like the same kind of movies! Plus, you’re the only girl who didn’t think my collectables were weird! We have so much in common!”

“Yeah!” You shout back in a panic, “We both like girls!”

“I know! We’re perfect for each other! Wait- I thought you were bi…”

What the fuck is happening?

“I am but I haven’t been with a guy in…years,” you let out a breath as Jun takes a step back, “I’ve had like a handful of experiences with men and they’ve all been super disappointing. I haven’t even been interested in a guy because wait-”

You point your finger at him accusingly, “Are you my designated golden retriever boy?!”

Jun points to himself questioningly, “Is that a thing? I’m more of a cat gu-”

“No, no,” you push past him and start your closing duties, rushing to be finished and get out of the shop, “We’re not even entertaining this train of thought. Go do the floors.”

He purses his lips and swallows at your frantic movements deciding it’s probably in his best interest to just do as he’s told…and quickly.

He rushes around speed cleaning the floors and taking the trash out while you shut everything else down, which is relatively easy. You do get stuck counting the cash deposit four times though. Too easily distracted by your errant and wholly ridiculous thoughts. Twenty minutes later, you're locking the doors while Jun rocks on his heels, hands dug in his pockets.

“I’m sorry for making things weird,” he says quietly, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfy.”

You drop your head, still facing the door before forcing yourself to turn and look at him, “I’m not upset with you, noodle head.”

“Promise?”

He sticks out a pinky and wiggles it.

You snort and then link your own. “Promise.”

Jun grins and bounces on his feet, “Cool. Wanna come over and watch scary movies?”

It’s one o’clock in the morning but you’re not tired and Jun is actually your favorite movie buddy because you both can talk through it without missing anything and critique the plot the whole time. Plus, he has comfy clothes and good snacks.

“I get your Karasuno hoodie.”

“Deal.”

“Dude,” you snort, biting off another piece of your sour gummy worm and twirling it around, “Can you believe they cut her out of the last film?”

Jun tosses his head back, “Right?! She was one of the best characters and her arc was trash. It was such a waste.”

He attempts to reach for the bag but keeps missing so you grab a hand full and shove it in his mouth, both your eyes still glued to the screen. It’s pitch black in the room aside from the tv and you’re both huddled up on Jun’s couch bundled in his hoodies, pajama pants, and blankets. Plus the Snorlax plushie you stole off his bed. It’s so stupid soft and squishy.

The table is littered with snacks, candy, empty noodle cups, and your bra which you carelessly ditched early on. Comfort was key on movie nights and Jun never once made it a big deal.

When the credits finally roll Jun claps like a buffoon and laughing, you stretch our your limbs, your tendency to sit like a pretzel making your joints stiff. He turns and holds up the remote. “One more?” he asks hopefully.

You hum, indecision splitting your mind. You do want to watch another but you know you’ll be too tired to drive home afterward. It would have to wait for another night and you explain as much. Jun pouts for half a second, but he never makes you feel bad when you decide to go. He grabs the things from the table and carries them all back to the kitchen while you stuff your bra and uniform into your bag. You’d bring his clothes back another time.

When Jun returns, he meets you at the door and prepares to walk down to the parking lot with you, an oddly endearing habit of his you’ve always liked. You go to grab the door handle but something makes you turn around and look at him.

He smiles back at you even though he’s not sure why you’re looking at him in the first place and a sudden curiosity overcomes you.

“Can I try something?”

“Uh,” he tilts his head in confusion, “Yeah?”

You slip your hand up to the back of his head and pull him in, pressing your lips against his...just trying it out. Jun’s hands come up in surprise but he just holds them over your hips, not quite touching you. When you pull back you just look at him, your eyes flitting from his deep brown eyes to the little mole near his lip.

“Was that weird for you?”

“No,” he shakes his head slowly.

“Ok…coo-”

Jun presses you up against the door, kissing you harder while his hands slip beneath the hoodie you’re wearing, stroking your bare skin. Your bag falls to the floor and you wrap your arms around his shoulders, sighing into his mouth just as his tongue prods along your bottom lip. He folds over you, caging you in and gripping your hips, growing more enthused with each swipe of your talented tongue against his own.

“Bedroom?” you ask between kisses and he doesn’t even answer. He simply picks you up like a cardboard standee and carries you the short distance to his room, not bothering to close the door. Instead of setting you down, like a normal person, he shifts your weight to one arm while clearing space on his bed with the other before dropping you onto the mattress with a little bounce.

“I thought you didn’t like boys,” he smirks, tearing his hoodie off and throwing it to the floor while you do the same and Jun doesn’t even pretend to look anywhere other than your bare chest.

“I don’t,” you maneuver out of your pants just barely fast enough before Jun is on the bed, hovering over you with a grin.

“Just to be clear,” he wiggles his pelvis against yours, “I have a dick.”

“I’m aware, thank you,” You snort, knocking him off of you just so you can swing a leg over his hips and smirk down at him, “Big dick and no brain cells.”

You slip your fingers beneath his waistband and run them back and forth, tickling his skin and making him giggle. Your nose twitches, smiling hard at his stupidly endearing reactions. You were so hard pressed to just admit that all the immature, boyish characteristics that made Jun who he was were some of your favorite things about him.

This...whatever it was...is physically driven but the rest would certainly cloud the forefront of your mind come tomorrow morning.

Jun startles you out of thought suddenly, grabbing your shoulders and pulling you down until your chests are pressed together, faces mere inches apart. His thumb strokes over your cheek and you peer back curiously. “I wanna kiss you again,” he whispers.

The admittance is so soft and genuine you can’t help but ask why.

He blushes and teases his tongue at the corner of his mouth, “It’s exciting,” he breathes, eyes sparkling in the dim lighting, “Honestly, I’ve thought about kissing you before but I was afraid you’d punch me or something.”

“Wait,” you push yourself up onto your elbows, “You’ve wanted to kiss me? When?”

He hums in thought for a minute. “Uh, anytime you’ve ever laughed at my dumb jokes, rolled your eyes at me, or called me an idiot.”

“I do those things all the time.”

“Yep.”

“So…you…?”

He nods resolutely, “Yep.”

Jun groans at the feeling of your breasts pressed against his chest, your hands in his hair, your tongue dipping past his lips and he wraps his arms around you, blunt nails scratching at your sides. He sucks down air when you pull back, eyes unfocused from your sudden, overwhelming kiss and you flick him in the forehead, sighing down at him. “How dare you make me feel feelings for a man,” you chuckle, kissing the same spot, “You big dummy.”

He laughs in response and you release a strangled shout, holding on for dear life as he flips you over with a devilish grin and wastes not a second before he’s kissing and giggling his way down the length of your body. He reaches the front of your panties and looks up, tilting his head.

“I will crush your head between my thighs right this second, Junhui. Try me.”

“I’m just taking a moment to appreciate,” he marvels, running one finger down the imprint of your folds through the soft material, “Also, don’t threaten me with a good time. I love your thighs and would gladly beg for death right this second if I wasn’t about to suffocate myself in your pussy.”

Not a single woman you’d ever been with paused to say such ridiculous shit nor has any other man bothered to sound so enthused about giving head and it just another box only Jun could check for you apparently. You sigh as he crudely pushes your panties to the side but not a moment later he’s looking at you again, eager hands stretching the material unforgivingly.

“Sit on my face.”

Your neck cracks as you look down at him incredulously, “Sorry, what?”

He grins curiously, “Sit on my face, please.”

“I-” he begins putting everything in motion, tearing off your panties, “I wasn’t looking for the magic word! You…Wait-” he keeps you moving, manhandling you into a sitting position despite your babbling, “You told me you’ve never done this-”

“I haven’t,” he confirms, shimmying further down the bed to work you up and over his shoulders.

“J-Jun!” you shriek as he lifts his head and kisses your bare pussy, “I’ve only done this once with an ex-boyfriend and it did not go well!” your voice catches when he kisses you again, humming happily between your trembling thighs, “Thick girls are not made for face-sitting!”

At that, Jun stops what he’s doing and glares up at you with contempt for whichever sad bastard put that idea in your head. “And I’m the stupid one?” he mumbles under his breath before softening his face, “Do you trust me?”

Your nails dig into his hands at your hips. “With most things, no.”

He rolls his eyes and says, “Shut up,” and then he’s squeezing the junction between your hips and thighs, pulling you down onto his mouth - his hot lips kissing a sucking every ounce of hesitance away until your melting against him, struggling to hold your own weight up.

“Oh, fuck…you,” you groan when he flattens his tongue against you, eyes soft and hazy as he savors and worships his mouthful.

How Jun has ever managed to turn a girl off with this sort of talent is shocking but perhaps that’s why they stuck around as long as they did. They were more interested in his bedroom ability then any of the silly things that came out of his mouth. It makes you sort of sad and then Jun’s rolling his tongue against your clit and dragging you back and forth over his face like a deviant and you can’t seem to focus on how much of an L these girls took anymore.

The sensation has you squeezing your thighs unintentionally, squishing Jun’s cheeks between them and he groans, hands kneading your soft legs and hips. “How…are…you even…still b-breathing?”

Making him laugh is a mistake, kind of, because the vibration it causes sends a tingle up your spine and a hearty moan spills from your lips and that’s just when you give up. You give up trying to carefully hover over him. You give up clinging to some semblance of dignity. You give up the charade of acting like you don’t want to ride his face because you do and all the little poisonous bubbles of self consciousness floating around in your head begin to pop and disappear, and when you slip your fingers into his hair, he moans against you.

Jun gives immaculate head. You’re more than qualified to judge that.

Speaking of…

“Jun,” you attempt to get him to open his eyes but he’s too engrossed in making out with your pussy like it’s prom night until you pull his hair a little harder than intended and he blinks up at you. It’s almost embarrassing how messy and wet his face is when you pull off of him and he starts to complain but you carefully spin around, placing your knees on either side of his head so you can lay your body along the length of his and push down his boxers.

“Sixty-Nine,” Jun chuckles, grabbing a pillow to prop his head closer and then he’s reaching for your hips again, “Cool.”

You blink eight more times than necessary and swallow the laugh building in your chest to instead take him in your hand. It almost feels foreign, having been so long since you’ve actually let anyone with a cock near you but Jun’s is not half bad. More than decent length, a little bit of girth, hint of a curve - if anything your just intrigued by the fact that you had actually wanted to see it, touch it, put it in your mouth and see what sort of reaction Jun had when you teased it.

His tongue playfully pokes at your clit the same time you lean down and circle yours around the tip of his cock and he sighs against you, warm breath making you roll your hips back against him in time with the way you take him in your mouth, experimenting to figure out what makes him happiest. Judging by the hands on your ass that squeeze and flex when you take him as far as you can and come back up to suckle on the head, that’s probably his favorite.

It gets harder and harder to maintain a pace the more enthused Jun becomes, especially when he pushes two long fingers into your cunt, lapping at your throbbing clit over and over. No doubt, on the list of reasons why Jun’s relationships never worked out - giving out orgasms was not in the top ten because when your legs begin shaking around him and his cock pops out from between your lips on a long moan he flattens his tongue and drags it back and forth messily until you’re cumming hard and collapsing on top of him, head rested against his thigh.

“I can’t see,” you murmur as Jun gently rolls you over, giggling at the empty, fucked out expression on your face, “I can’t feel my legs.”

“Mmm,” He hums with a goofy flat smile, “A bit dramatic but I’m flattered…so, uh, do you wanna just like wait here while I,” he points toward the bathroom and you furrow your brows, “And then we can watch youtube or something?”

You prop yourself up on your elbows and give him a funny look, “Are you going to jack off in the bathroom? Alone?”

Jun opens and then closes his mouth and then opens it again, ”Well…I, yeah I’m mean unless you wanted to like…should I not?”

“You’re the eighth wonder of the world,” you shake your head, chuckling in disbelief, “Do you not want to have sex with me?”

Jun’s eyes widen, “What kind of question is that?”

“So, you’re not having sex with me right now because…..?”

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to,” he answers right away and you have the sudden urge to both smack him upside the head and kiss the living daylights out of him.

The latter wins out and you press your lips to his sweetly, your hand gently cradling the side of his head and you pull back to meet his eyes. “It seems as though we still have a few lessons to go on ‘how to read women’. Letting a girl ride your face for twenty minutes while she sucks your dick is pretty indicative that she’s into you and also in the mood to have sex. If you still can’t tell…it’s okay to ask.”

“Should we start over?” He asks already reaching for your body and you laugh swatting at his chest, “I’m kidding!” he grins and then his voice is so quiet and sincere, “Are you really sure? We don’t have to-”

“Jun,” you stop him with another kiss, “I’m sure. Do you have condoms?”

He scoffs, “Of course I do,” and then he’s getting up out of bed and opening the first drawer of his dresser, pulling something from the back corner.

“....Is that a poke ball? You keep your condoms…in a poke ball?!”

The red, white, and black ball is all too familiar and Jun turns toward you, splitting the ball open and flashing a gold wrapper in your direction. “Uh, yeah,” he whispers, “Gotta catch em all.”

Laughter spills from your lips freely and Jun grins so hard his cheeks hurt because you actually appreciate his juvenile sense of humor unlike every other girl he’s ever dated. Maybe you were right and he’s been going after the wrong type all along and maybe he’ll be lucky enough to be given a chance to prove how perfectly suited the two of you were for each other.

He realizes it’s something he really wants to put effort into and something clicks in his brain. A memory of the two of you at Yo-Nuts, talking while you tossed gummy bears at Jun one at a time for him to catch like a seal, most of which bounced off his face. You had told him that if he really wanted something, if he truly desired to pursue a real relationship, then he had to put forth the effort.

Pay attention to her, really listen when she speaks, let her know you’re there for her, lift her up, make her laugh, make her feel appreciated and understood.

It had sometimes felt like a chore and one mostly unreciprocated.

Except when it came to you. It was so easy and he realized that not only did he freely do these things for you without even knowing but you did the same for him. The teasing and name-calling was all surface level and never intended to be hurtful but beneath all that, Jun knew how much you cared about him. He just never considered there could be a different side to this relationship and now that he sees the potential…

“Jun,” your voice suddenly pierces through his hurricane of thoughts and feelings and he blinks rapidly as you look up at him in concern, “I lost you for like a solid two minutes. Are you okay?”

He shakes his head and laughs it off, “I’m good, sorry. I was just- nevermind…conversation for a different day I think. Did my zombie trance kill the mood?”

Your tongue pokes between your lips in amusement and you slowly shake your head, “No, but it wouldn’t hurt if you hurried the fuck up and played with my tits while you’re at it.”

If his dick wasn’t rock solid already, it is impossibly so right now.

He fumbles with the wrapper, pulling out the condom and rolling it over himself with record speed and then he’s pressed against you, pushing your thigh up, fingers imprinting your skin. The weight of his cock between your folds makes you swallow hard and he uses his free hand to squeeze and knead your breasts, rolling his thumb over your nipples as he coats himself in your wetness, tip poking at your hole.

You accidentally hold your breath when he breaches you slowly, trying to ease his way between your tight walls without hurting you or going cross-eyed at the pressure himself. “Are you okay?” he asks about half-way in, pausing to let you take a deep breath, “Not that I think I have like the most massive dick on the planet bu-”

“It’s f-fine, I know what you mean,” you let out a strained huff of amusement, “It’s still a big dick and the only one that isn’t made of silicone or attached to a body in some fashion that I’ve had in a long time. I’m appreciative but I’m okay - this is okay, Jun.”

The reassurance comforts him and he carefully pushes forward until he’s bottomed out but he doesn’t sit still, instead he starts a slow, shallow sort of rhythm, watching your face with each stroke, still massaging your breasts in one large hard while the other remains firmly attached to your plush thigh. He watches, waiting for that little bit of tension to melt from your features and when it does, he doesn’t hesitate to pick up the pace, drawing his hips back further and driving them home deeper.

Jun can’t get enough between the soft faces and pretty sounds you make, and the way your tender flesh feels beneath his fingers, taking handfuls and drowning in just how much he wants to touch you and please you. Never has he been so utterly enthralled in a partner and maybe that’s because there is so much more than sex involved in your relationship.

He knows he’s slipping right back into dangerous territory but he can’t help it.

Especially not when you reach down to play with your own clit, big doe eyes trained on his, long delicate lashes drawing his attention to your flushed face.

Jun is pretty sure he has never been so excited to cum in his life though he wouldn’t dare voice that, lest you mock him for eternity. He doesn’t really mind though. He sometimes thinks he has some masochistic kink considering the amount of times he’s popped a boner over your smart mouthed, half-hearted insults.

“I think I'm in love with you,” he breathes out accidentally, brain too full of lust and hot air to filter what comes out of his mouth.

“I think you’re thinking with your dick,” you all but moan back to him, cutting your breath short when he pushes both of your legs forward, pressing down on your thighs to angle your hips up.

Jun smirks which is a stupidly hot look on him. “Ah, but my dick and my heart are very closely connected.”

“Guess that makes sense since you have no brain.”

“Shut up.”

You do the opposite, however, no real words come out. Only incoherent strings of encouragement or flat out begging that you will refuse to acknowledge and deny until the end of days pours from your open lips with a clear end in sight. All it takes is a few more rough strokes and he’s pushing so deeply inside that your body gives up and orgasms so abruptly that Jun jerks forward, emptying himself into the condom almost violently as he shakes and groans.

There are several long extended moments of silence as you both attempt to catch your breath and figure out what to say to one another. He attempted to pull out at one point but even that brief bit of movement sent a shockwave through your body and you tugged him down to lay on top of you, forbidding him to move with a barrage of intricate threats.

The problem is that five minutes later, Jun is now too comfortable and half asleep and you’re smooshed under his long, lanky frame.

“Jun,” you mumble against his throat, making him wiggle, “Jun, you need to move.”

He giggles but it’s more so a physical reaction than anything else because his neck is so ticklish and he whispers back, “Noooo~ stay…”

“I’m not leaving dummy,” you roll him onto his back, shuddering at the sudden empty feeling, “We both need to get cleaned up.”

He hums, eyes still firmly shut and you roll your own toward the ceiling. “If you sleep with a condom on your dick will lose circulation and fall off in the middle of the night.”

He springs out of bed so quickly he nearly knocks you over but he grabs the blankets and folds them over you so you don’t fall off the edge as he trips and nearly eats the ground. Finally steadied, he grins down at you and offers a hand up, “I would feel like a loser if it was anyone other than you who witnessed that.”

“You are a loser,” you smirk, “Kind of a hot loser though.”

Jun tilts his chin up confidently, “She loves me.”

“No, I don’t.”

“She does,” he sings, pulling you toward his bathroom, “Do you wanna have a sleepover?”

“No.”

“Ok, perfect! I like to cuddle!”

And then fifteen minutes later you’re both passed out in Jun’s bed - snoring and all. You’re not the prettiest sleeper and neither is he and you’re definitely both waking up a little sweaty because Jun sleeps like an octopus, clinging to you with long limbs no matter how many times you accidentally elbow him in the gut. It’s comfortable though, too comfortable, and that’s something you’ll be thinking of for the days and weeks to come.

“Smash or Pass,” Jun tosses his wet rag in the sink, just having finished cleaning the toppings counter during your usual night shift a few weeks later, “Edward or Jacob?”

You scoff, keeping your voice down considering there were actually a few customers that had rolled in. “Pass on both,” you wipe around the register, throwing your rag in the sink next to his, “The correct answer is Jasper and all other options…other than Alice…are invalid.”

Jun nods slowly, “Smashhhhh...you’re right,” agreeing with your answer and then he shrugs, “Jacob was hotter than Edward - kinda creepy though like no means no….and don’t get me started on the whole renaissance thing.”

You snort, loudly, he avoids saying the kid’s actual name at all costs and the replacements are always top tier. “Wait - who is the ultimate twilight smash? 3-2-1…”

“Charlie,” you both say at the same time, grinning at your cultured tastes.

“Ultimate smash number 2?” he asks and you both respond, “Sam,” within a matter of seconds.

Jun laughs, a hand on his hip, “I don’t know what it is but you just get me.”

You chuckle, turning away from the counter but it ends in a frown when you dip your finger beneath the material of your shirt and find a fro-yo stain at the bottom. “Junhuiii~” you sigh without looking, “I’ll brb, gotta go see if I can rinse this stain out.”

Jun nods and busies himself organizing the donut display though there isn’t much to organize. The pace at night is either steady or so quiet there isn’t much to maintain unlike the day-time rush. The two of you have things pretty spotless by the time you leave each night.

The door chimes and Jun looks up with a big smile on his face that drops into an awkward tight grimace.

“Oh, hey, Rin,” he greets as his ex-something, they had never actual had a label, approaches the register “N-need a donut?”

Rin smiles and leans on the counter, “Long time no see, Wen Junhui. You haven’t returned my call.”

Jun looks out into the dining room as if some random patron can save him from the awkward situation but alas, none jump to their feet. “You didn’t leave me a message…”

He chuckles nervously and presses his finger to the counter, “You know…beeeeeep.”

She blinks long and hard, attempting to squash her temper. “I see you’ve grown so much,” she sighs to herself and then schools a smile onto her pretty face, “Anyway, we should go out, catch up over dinner…how’s tomorrow for you?”

“Uhhh, don’t you have like a guy, like a boy-,” he’s kind of old, “Man, uh, friend?”

Rin shifts uncomfortably, “David isn’t the jealous type and besides,” she leans in further and reaches for Jun’s arm, “I’ve missed you.”

“Hey, did you call for me?” you say suddenly and Jun turns to find you coming up to his side, pulling his arm out of reach with wide eyes and a sigh of relief. Rin retracts her hand and glances down at your fingers ghosting over Jun’s, narrowing her eyes.

She points her manicured finger in accusation. “Are you two together or something?”

“Yes,” you say before Jun has a chance to answer and his eyes grow wider if possible, not leaving your face for one second as you glare at Rin across the counter.

Rin laughs and you smile. “Jun, go check on the security cameras in the office.”

He stares at the space above your head for a moment then looks back down with furrowed brows, “Wait, those don’t wo-”

“Right, they don’t work,” you drawl in a flat tone, still staring at Rin who seems to be losing a bit of steam, “Must have forgot. Go sweep.”

“But-”

“Junhui,” You look at him with a tight smile, “Go sweep.”

He wearily shuffles away and you set your eyes back on Rin. “What are you doing here?”

“Look,” she flips her long hair over her shoulder condescendingly, as if she’s about to impart you with real-world wisdom, “Girl to girl, he’s hot and a great lay, but save yourself the trouble. He’s a man child who cares more about his little dolls and made up characters than he ever will about you.”

“Oh? Is that why you were here trying to ask him out again?”

Rin’s mouth falls open slightly and she goes to speak but you beat her to it.

“Because your super mature, rich, sugar daddy boyfriend is what? Incredibly sad in the sack?” you grit your teeth, frowning in faux-sympathy, “Probably only talks about golf and sailing and 401ks, huh? Lasts like 10 minutes and grunts a lot, hmm? You must be so bored.”

Rin gets angry but she doesn’t yell, too aware of the other people within earshot if she were to raise her voice. “At least he pays attention to me and cares about things other than movies and video games! Dating Jun was like babysitting an overgrown teenager!”

You place both hands on either side of the register, “Have you ever thought that maybe you’re a boring, vapid bitch and you have nothing in common with Jun - who is incredibly thoughtful and intuitive with me by the way,” you narrow your eyes and whisper, “Sounds like that was a you problem - and now you’re here thinking you can walk right in and have him back? As if what? He was just waiting for you to call him back to your side? Like a dog?”

She opens her mouth to argue and you hold up a hand, “Listen, Rin, you’re a smart girl, so I know you’ll understand when I tell you that if you attempt to disrespect Jun like this, ever again, I will shove a fistful of crushed peanuts so far down your throat that pretty face will swell up before you reach the door.”

Rin gasps in horror and you tilt your head, “What? You thought Jun wasn’t listening when you mentioned your deathly serious allergy the first time you met? Ah, it seems he does pay attention - not that you cared enough to notice even though he refused peanut butter everything, which he loves, from the moment he met you, always asked if things were made with peanut oil, etcetera, god forbid he hurt you in some way for being exposed himself.”

She stutters, “I…I d-didn’t know-”

“Of course you didn’t,” you come around the counter and Rin backs toward the door the closer you get, “Now get the fuck out of my building before I-”

The words fall out in a shriek of surprise as Jun runs up behind you, loops an arm around your middle and picks you up, quickly carrying you back behind the counter, “Bye Rin!” he says hastily, “You probably shouldn’t come back…like ever!”

A few customers stare at Rin who quickly disappears through the doors and to you being physically escorted around the counter and out of sight before they go back to their treats. It’s too late for them to make it their business it seems.

Jun doesn’t put you down until you’re in the tiny back office and once he does you cross your arms, “What was that for?! I was handling it.”

He flashes a smile and then rushes forward to kiss you, clumsily running your back into an old filing cabinet but his arms are there to cushion the blow and you’re too busy thinking about how soft his lips are to complain about anything at the moment anyhow. Eventually one hand cradles the back of your head and he eases back, giggling at your closed lids. “Thank you for sticking up for me,” he says quietly and you pop your eyes open, looking back at him.

“You’re welcome,” you whisper, eyes caught on the sincere smile he offers.

Jun lets out a little puff of amusement. “So, we’re together?”

You groan, pushing him back though he clings onto you, unwillingly to let you get away so easily, “I was just saying that to make her leave you alone. I told you we’re not dating.”

He furrows his brows teasingly, “Seriously? I put on the sexy maid costume for you and we had an hour long discussion about pegging. We’re totally dating.”

Laughter knots your stomach and you try to wiggle out of his long arms, “You liked it more than I did, rat boy! Let me go!”

“No!” he struggles to hold his grip on your squirming and twisting, “You’re so cute and I wanna hold you!”

“We’re working!” you hiccup after giggling so hard, “Unhand me you cheeseball!”

Jun suddenly lets you go but catches your hand, grinning like a fool. “Say ‘Jun is my cool, hot boyfriend that I’m totally in love with’ and I’ll let you go.”

You mumble a bunch of words under your breath and tug your arm to no avail, “Wen Junhui, loser extraordinaire, is sort of good looking-”

“And?” Jun raises his chin, eyes peering down patiently.

“- And maybe, is my friend boy, that I l-”

“Love,” he fills in, nodding as he feeds you words.

You fake gag, “Love…in a totally platonic way-”

Jun gasps and your eyes light up, “Liar!” he laughs, “Say it!”

You’re such a liar and you both know it. It’s been weeks now that you’ve practically been attached at the hip - going out, staying in, watching movies, playing games, talking and laughing all the time. Not to mention you’re in his apartment in a t-shirt and underwear more often than you’re in your own these days.

“Having a boyfriend is really going to kill my game with the ladies but I guess if I have to have one, you’re the best option and maybe I do love you just a little. Like the smallest amount. A crumb from the world’s tiniest cookie. Microscopic. I barely like you.”

Jun beams, “Good enough for me,” he loosens his grip and you walk back up the the front to check on things. You’ve both been gone a little too long.

“Since you’re my girlfriend can I call you cute names? Baby, sweetheart, honey, angel,” he offers and you look over your shoulder with a grimace, “Lover, goddess, beloved mistress of the night…”

“Jun…those are terrible and I'm going to drown you in strawberry fro-yo if you do not shut up or if anyone on this god forsaken earth ever hears you call me those things out loud.”

“Yes, my beautiful rat queen. Whatever you wish,” he bows comically and you flap your hand loose from his grip, running back up to the register but Jun is never more than three feet behind you. “Hey, you’re still coming home with me right?”

You ignore him, aimlessly poking at the screen and he leans beside you, still whispering discreetly, “Mingyu finally let me borrow his guitar hero because I told him it’s your favorite…and it’s the original…”

You finally look up at him and he grins, knowing he’s got you.

“Jun is my cool, hot boyfriend that I’m totally in love with,” you murmur and then you look out into the dining room finding only one customer left in the building, pointing him out to Jun, “The sooner he leaves the sooner we get to go play. You know what to do.”

Jun stretches and cracks his knuckles, “I’m about to make this man so uncomfortable.”

“I have faith in you,” you pat his shoulder, chuckling, “Make me proud, dummy.”

He tries kissing you before he walks away but his lips meet the palm of your hand.

“Sorry, I only kiss rat boys who can beat me in guitar hero, you’ll have to wait.”

He walks and then stops, looking very serious and contemplative, “Ok but you can’t play it with Mingyu or Woozi then because they’re like really good and you can only kiss me.”

“I’m not kissing anyone unless you get us out of here.”

“Right,” he focuses his gaze on the poor soul in the corner of the dining room and grins, “Be ready to leave in ten minutes,” and then he’s moving and you’re left giggling behind the counter.

Yeah, he’s still kind of a loser but he’s your loser now and that somehow just feels right.

You know what else feels right?

Giving Jun that overdue wedgie the second you clock out and listening to him complain all the way home that you’re an actual super villain for waiting months for him to let his guard down just to turn around and desecrate his honor in the Yo-Nuts parking lot. All while holding your hand in the car.

Jun is probably right. You two are perfect for each other.

Thanks for reading!

SVT M.List | Main M.List

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