#better than yourself my ass

[eff-plays]

Thinking abt Hira doing their dang best to be respectful and non-sexual with their affection for Astarion during his vulnerable period while also just being so horny for him. Accidentally giving him armor that hugs his body a little too tightly so they avert their sinful gaze and go "haha looks great! so strapping! hope it protects you! :)" but as soon as he looks away they're just fully just

#bg3 #worsties to lovers #oc: hiraeth #'don't look at his ass do NOT look at it oh my god do not look' #'don't make it weird don't make it weird' #'he deserves better than this you must contain yourself holy fuck' #they're so brave and strong<3 #they try to be so normal for him but deep down they'd slurp him up like a slushie if allowed #just turn him into paste and inhale him

[code-dy]

Don’t cry, Thorin. Frosting melts when you don’t let the cake cool before putting it on

#the hobbit #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #bagginshield #thilbo #my headcannon is that thorin has golden child syndrome #he gets very frustrated #when things dont go as planned #esp during the exile #imagine being a kid and youre suddenly king and everyone has eyes on you #everything you do has to be no less than perfect because you have all these people counting on you #i cant imagine the pressure and how hard he mustve been to himself #do you think that was why he was such an ass during the start of the hobbit? #he doesnt want to get attached to the burglar who would likely die in the end #why make yourself vulnerable to such hurt #weeh this was supposed to be about cake #and how i wanted to learn a more serious art style to express better angst #but keeps on going back to silliness #head cannon is also that they both taught each other to be less concerned about what people think and just enjoy themselves #my art #thorin slso has that durin puppy eyes he just dont use it as much #cake fail #angst fail

[hellsbroadcaster]

the communities thing looks cool I won't lie.. but I am in agreement with a lot of folks who worry about it becoming super exclusive. And tumblr already has that huge ass problem as it is.

#⌜off the air⌟ . // ooc #i personally have so much beef with a lot of tumblrs fucking cliques i could go on all day #like imagine thinking you're better than someone cuz you rp fictional characters online with strangers all day gtf out my face #we're all a bunch of losers here just trying to have fun and do a little escape from our day to day lives #bring that shit on here with petty ass drama about things that in hindsight dont even matter #if you're constantly needing online validation to make it seem like you are worth something you need to work on loving yourself more #the way some ppl on here act like roleplay gonna fix your problems #no boo #you actually have to deal with yourself at the end of the day #your blooming aesthetic your purple prose writing you're teeheee im depressed and i have mental illnesses aint cute when you are actually #just a shit person #and I need ppl to start acting right fndsklfnldksf #SORRY I WENT OFF IM JUST #pPL BRP

[termagax]

like i think to fish theyre just both people who shouldve died a long time ago and now they arent allowed to. because they need each other. and they both crave that and resent it.

#they WANT to be so important to him that he would fall apart without then AND they resent that they cant fall apart without hurting him #they were having a perfectly decent apathetic slide into eternal misery and then he had to go and ruin it with love. whatever. #like they want to be this essential part of his life because they loooove having that power over him they really really do #and theyre mean about it too. but like. they dont like that it goes both ways #they dont like being looked after or cared about because they get too used to it and they feel themselves falling in love w him again and #they run away. and eventually they come back or he comes back to them. and they tell themselves its just transactional like #they have something he needs and he has something they want #animal sir chloe style #but just like that its like. its NOT that. they need him so fucking bad and they feel better when hes around even when they hate his ass #and espeically after they start 'working' for jr with him its like. they really really love him so bad and they hate it. #these stupid assholes making them feel alive again. making them feel FEEELINGS. liek a PERSON. eugh #and i think they hate how scared they get when something happens to roadhog. theyre supposed to know better than that basically #they feel like needing him is vulnerable because it opens the door for him to hurt them again which is why they so enjoy being the one in #control + being the one who leaves #and the one who lashes out and ect ect. but they cant help themself and they hate hirself for it. so like. well the only solution is that #you shouldve killed yourself two decades ago so i couldve wasted away mad at you like i was supposed to and wed be done with it. #fishs got a case of wanting to die in such a way where they wont take any active steps to get there #but they resent being alive and they resent every minute of pain they endure by being alive. hence the very sex booze violence lifestyle #but the frustrating thing about him is that they. most of the time. like being alive with him. so they have to endure more #more pain and heartache and frustration. and they dont want to but they cant do anything else. they cant even leave again at this point #anyways. my fishy #🐟 #they have every disease

[star-mum]

Spent literally all my afternoon stressing about then actually doing the video my sister TASKED ME to edit for her bookstagram only for her to watch it once and go "it's okay" and go back to what she was doing

.... I wish murder was not permanent (and legal)

#YOU MADE THE VIDEOS MY RESPONSIBILITY #WITHOUT ASKING IF I WANTED TO OR COULD #literally a day and a half after we decide on the first video you're texting me if it's dONE ALREADY #go fuck yourself #editing shit on the phone literally sucks ass #not even a tHANK YOU ????? #FUCK YOU !!!!!! #ik this is the most unserious of issues #(and I will help with the other videos) #i like helping and the videos are fun (specially after they're done) #but it's more the thankless expectation #yeah im ur sister... yeah I said I'd help with the writing thing but I didn't OFFER to be responsible for ALL THE VIDEOS #and you DIDN'T ASK !!! you just said “hey the one you remade did better than the ones I did so... it's your job now” #and after i make the damn thing (which was a lot harder than the other pics compilation one bY THE WAY) you don't even say thank you #or react better to it #yeah it's simple but you also gave me NOTHING TO WORK WITH #(ik this is stupid but this is My Yard/Journal Entry/Dojo Mojo Casa House so stfu okay?)

[andthebeanstalk]

My sister-in-law frustrates me to no end even though we barely ever interact because she keeps inviting my partner to parties with her Christian Republican friends, even though my partner told her not to send an invite to us if those friends will be there. And even though my sister-in-law is bisexual!!

And then she turns around and complains about not knowing how to deal with her friends saying, like, horrible sexist stuff as though that is just some natural unavoidable quirk of having friends!

Like, these Christian Republicans she has befriended don't seem to be kind - they're not even nice a lot of the time! They don't make for good friends, and she doesn't seem happy or supported in relation to them. In fact, she basically only ever talks about how her friends and/or current boyfriend are making her unhappy!

Because here's the thing: The effect of prioritizing 'including your Trump-supporter friends at your parties' over 'being invested in creating a safe space for marginalized people in your home', is that people who DO care about creating those safe spaces... won't wanna hang out with you! Because if you invite both cats and mice to your table equally, only the cats will show!

She's so afraid of losing the shitty friends she has now that she allows them to act as barriers to accessing friends who are invested in her wellbeing in a capitalistic hellscape!

It makes me sad because she's basically trapped herself, and there's nothing I can do to offer help without either compromising my morals or making my partner's life way harder by starting shit with her family.

Like, I consider myself a good friend, yeah? I try really really hard to be one, and it matters to me immensely. I am ride-or-die for the folks I love, and I am invested in being open and vulnerable and radically safe to be around when it comes to building strong friendships that are mutually fulfilling. I have a unique talent for validating people that I have honed for years because I genuinely want to make sure people feel safe and loved and seen.

And if my sister-in-law and I were friends, I could give all of that to her. I would strive to be an example of what it looks like when someone decides to care about you and treat you right on purpose, without expecting anything in return but your mutual respect. She would be family. She would be [Queer] Family. I would see to it that she knew she could call on me when she needed a friend.

But like.

This asshole has invited me to hang out with Trump supporters on multiple occasions.

We ain't gonna be friends.

#original #diary #family shit #I'll just continue to act friendly at family events #my friends help make me a better person. i don't think she could say the same for hers. makes me mad and sad #reminds me of the time i had to end a friendship bc a woman i had been inviting to group events revealed to me that she was #literally friends with Kelly Ann Conway. yes the aid to the president. that Kelly Ann. and when i tell you this friend of mine did NOT #understand why her defending Kelly Ann Conway made me feel unsafe. it was WILD #that's how my sister-in-law reacted when my wife was like 'hey stop inviting my non-cis ass to parties with transphobes' #both made arguments similar to 'i already don't have many friends why do you want me to lose more??' #like girlies you can't invite me and a bunch of homophobic Christians to the same party what is fucking wrong with you?? #you can goddamn bet if you came to one of my parties there wouldn't be anyone there who'd try to defend the Trump administration #loneliness is frightening and painful and no joke but cowardice is no joke either #and this attitude meant that my wife and i could not safely rely on her when we went through several crisis situations #and this is something i find difficult to forgive bc shit was touch and go over here for a couple years #my wife isn't even as salty as i am about it but she never is when the primary person harmed is herself #maybe if sister-in-law recognized the flawed behavior and changed but she probably won't tbh and i have shit to do #have fun with your fascist friends girlie i wonder if sometimes it feels more lonely than if you were alone #have fun practicing the white silence our parents got so good at; you're really carrying on the family business your dad must be so proud < #i haven't had to deal with friends saying sexist shit for literal years sorry you've made yourself unsafe to trans people i guess #making friends is hard i know that all too well. but i also know that the more friends i make who make me feel sad and small #then the less time i have for friends that make me feel loved and motivate me to be a better person. time=limited. people=over 6 billion. #school was harder because the amount of folks was more limited. same with small towns. but we are all ADULTS LIVING IN CHICAGO #capitalism makes finding friends harder too but like it has GOT to matter to you that Trans people and POC feel safe #we each have control over whether oppressed people feel safe around us. don't fucking waste that.

[sk3l3t0n444]

im good o-O

#who fucking let me eat againnnnnnn #tw ed #cuz imma fuckign rant #i always feel liek shit for eating anything ever #and today was one of those days where i was like oh im not hungry and i dont wanna eat but my stupid ass did anyways #fucking ate enough to make me feel sick #and i wanna purge so badly #like i am fighting every fucking urge to go puke up all this #WHY. AM. I. LIKE. THIS. #if i purge i will feel significantly better but yk purging isnt good #and if i do im just proving to everybody that i cant fucking get better #but if i dont im showing everybody that i have no self control with eating #yk i say im getting better and to a certain extent i am but im not really ever “better” #like im better than i was at the lowest point of my life...thats like the bare minimum #like congrats i havent written a suicide note in over a year! woo or whatever #like congrats me you didnt fucking cut yourself on purpose for a year and a half wowwwww thats the bare minimum: / #most people in fact NEVER cut themselves on purpose #and lately ive been having “trauma” dreams #like its not really trauma but like dreams where i see people i would rather never see again and people who i would do anything to see again #or dreams about relapsing or failing school yk shit like that #and most of the time i wake up and feels like that shit was real #oh yeah lemme add soem more tws #tw suicide #tw sh

[francy-sketches]

Hope you’re ok btw ❤️

yea im ok dw <3 just kinda bummed out by the whole thing but whateverrr we move on twitter doesn't matter anyway ^_^

also idk if you sent me another ask or if that was a different anon but. I'm not gonna answer it bc I don't wanna create more drama (and also I'm trying to resolve it in dms rn so. don't wanna ruin that by being petty) but thanks for the support same goes for the other anons 🫶

#Anonymous #asks #well I was spending too much time on twitter anyway and this made me want to not do that so. silver lining ig #idk im usually not bothered by online drama but this is. idk. maybe it's bc I got attacked for something I didn't do #or maybe it's bc I'm now hated by some of the most annoying people on twitter who seem to behave like a hivemind. so that's fun #goddamn this other person I was arguing with really got on my nerves. genuinely so fucking obnoxious. and worst of all stupid -_- #'erm clearly I know what you meant better than you do' ok well go fuck yourself. hope you piss your pants. everyday #I share a mutual with that person and tbh I might just unfollow them bc I don't want to see their annoying ass. sorry oomfie 😔 #just to be clear I don't mean the artist I mean the other person who came at me. before I get accused of vagueing artists again #maybe I'm also being dramatic bc I've been feeling like a dying victorian child for the past few days. I'll live tho #sorry just needed 2 rant. still kinda mad lol but its ok 🙂

[abyssalpriest]

if i disappear after saying that ive been assassinated no jokes aside if i take that down its not bc i disagree with it, you can still pin it on me as a belief that i think that shit should be said and ill put my whole ass behind it, but saying shit like that has consequences lmfao. also theres a time and a place to bring that up

#ive already. dealt. with enough fucking propagandising royal family members on my fucking ASS this lifetime to last. the rest of #this universe's incarnation. sometimes its better to not get involved which i KNOW is a big part of why the propaganda is rampant #among people who work with ''demons'' but like. no. no race is more superior than other races. hot take i know sorry #ramblings // #honestly tho. im so sick of dealing with the topics of ascending and (''demon'') racial supremacy and fighting jxdaism under the guise #of ''we hate chrxstians tho and thats good!'' bc ''(JEWISH NAME FOR GOD????) is a horrible person he wiped out half his angels!!!!'' #listen i do not care how uncomfortable you are w your species' and peoples' histories you are. leave innocent fucking people and their #concept of the Creator that you dont even understand alone. whats the point in pride in your people if youre only proud of how #your people are Better than another set of people. like. bruh. are you proud of being a (demon) or are you so insecure your only source of #literally describing said propagandising family members lord almighty im gonna stop myself there. #WOW. I DSFJKHDFH. IVE NEVERRRRR SUDDENLY GOTTEN THE URGE TO TALK SHIT ABOUT WAR /AND/ SPILL THINGS PEOPLE #WANT SECRET /AND/ TALK SHIT ABOUT TWISTING KNOWLEDGE TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK GOOD /AND/ HAD IT DEVOLVE INTO #''even tho im (practically) hindu jxdaism is too fucking important to my family for me to not have OPINIONS about shit'' BEFORE HMM #WEIRD WEIRD unincarnated selves just fucking going AT it. i mean. spilling opinions. cant say they havent gone at it in other #ways too wow no wonder Ardhanarishvara (God as half man half woman) and Shiva and Shakti are super important to me - #NO WONDER THIS CAME AFTER TALKING ABOUT CONSCIOUSNESS AND MIND WHO I SEE AS SHIVA AND SHAKTI #anyway the first post had nothing to do w jxdaism and this topic itself has nothing to do w it i just finally had it click why Certain Peop #calling the things the kings they worship did atrocities of (name) was bothering me SO much. i mean i knew why the rest of it was bothering #me - i mean the NAME bit clicked

[okurrroye]

I feel so awful that my Laenor has to deal with that shit show that is the Trashgaryen family alone now

#I’m so upset about Joffrey #it gave me loras flashbacks #he would’ve been one of my favs #like he had no chill and I loved him for like he found a way to end a kingsguard and a princesses whole career in less then 30 minutes #*for that #all to protect his man like that is true love and really was hoping he was going to protect our baby but alas homophobia strikes again #like how tf did Laenor get bitch slapped and was down for the count that quickly like wasn’t he a skilled fighter like that was bs #he should’ve been able to handle criston ass better than that #like I loved criston but he pissed me off like you did all that just to end up trying to kill yourself like wtf #like he’s a dramatic ass hoe #like you’re not even a virgin and fucked that girl just once who only wanted to tap your ass and do all that for what ? #embarrassing #that’s why you’ll always be a side piece and never the main course #consider yourself demoted to court jester you clown #house of the dragon #hotd #laenor velaryon

[sweetestberryofthebunch]

what do you think are the most redeeming qualities about human beings? anything you've seen lately that reminds you of said redeeming qualities? and how have you been kind to yourself this week?

Okay so I had this very long and fancy answer about how love and human connection and kindness and all that shit restore my faith in humanity but today I asked a girl out and she declined so you’re not getting that

#‘we all die it’s either kill yourself of get killed’ #IM KIDDING #partially #just didn’t vibe with my long ass paragraph anymore haha #sorry I’m late I was busy being lovey dovey #glittertrail #still love you lots! hope you’re better at dating than me

[oglegoggle]

Been reflecting on why I love depression glass so dearly. It’s so beautiful. My gran gave me a set of plates my grandfather had given her for their wedding back in 1936 instead of a ring, as my grandfather had saved months for a gift and wanted it to be something practical they can actually make use of. They’re pale pink and are totally plain unadorned plates. They’re so simple and elegant and the way they catch light is so beautiful.

She told me once that it’s important to know how to cook because a good cook can always find work and it’s easy to steal meals from your boss’ kitchen, so you’ll never be hungry. That the only thing a person needs to survive is a meal in their belly and a love to share a meal with.

I think about all the meals they ate off of those pink plates. Stolen from someone’s restaurant kitchen for lack of means to get food for their growing family otherwise. The way they catch light and bring a little touch of joy and beauty to life. The loving bonds of a shared meal. The ever present existence of joy and love and resistance in the Great Depression.

These dishes are precious tokens of the light of happiness in the dark times of economic and sociopolitical crises.

And they come in my favorite shade of nuclear green

#this is goggles #also my ex was a fucking idiot bitch for all of my nice depression dishes he broke #like he knew full well that it seriously upset me when he broke my things #but he just kept breaking them #told me he isn’t capable of doing better #and then was upset to learn I think he’s a moron who isn’t capable of doing better #like you outright told me yourself dude you’re not capable of not breaking my nice things #if you don’t want me to think you’re stupid I won’t but that leaves you as intentionally and knowingly disrespectful of me and my belongings #he’s a selfish piece of shit who does not care if his behavior hurts others #he can be insecure about how his actions hurt others all he wants #but if he had any honor about himself he would take that insecurity in his own failings and work on doing and being better #rather than begging his partner to just let him keep treating them like shit without consequence #boo boo bitch you should feel insecure about repeatedly hurting your partner #and you should feel ashamed for genuinely asking them to make you feel better because you feel bad that you’ve hurt them #like no dude this is the part where you bust ass to make them feel better because you fucked up and need to fix it

[kil9]

ah yeah also in that same vein about bullies and stuff, my one greatest life advice is to put 0 stake in what judgemental people say. if someone is trying to tell you "its not cool to like that, its weird/cringe to do that, people who do this have no friends" ask yourself do you really want to be in the good opinion of someone who judges like that 🤷‍♂️ its way easier said than done, but do you really want to hold the opinion of someone like that in such high regard ? no matter how weird and insane, everyone in the world can find friends who are weird and insane in the exact same ways they are, and its 1000% more fun and worthwhile than changing your personality to appease jerks

#99.txt #this is my message. go forth freaks and weirdos #u may say this is the freak and weirdo website but i see people on here do it all day 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ judging for pointless stuff #''im a niche weird nerd but im doing it in the way thats cool and subversive instead of the way thats loud and cringe and annoying'' #youre a pain in the ass is what you are #eh i always say theres no option but to be yourself and trying to change that will kill you 🤷‍♂️ #its better to find a way to be happy and proud about it than to be miserable trying the impossible

[ahalliance]

ever since openly coming out as trans irl, everytime someone misgenders me i inch closer to losing my absolute shit

#yeah yeah you need to be patient with them because they need to adjust. i know. i get that enough from my cis friends #like i’m not a fucking idiot of course people need to get used to it. as long as you correct yourself i #have zero issues with someone making the occasional mistake #but it’s just the build up of. certain people who KNOW my pronouns and still fuck them up even though it’s been ages #and the continual misgendering i get from randos on the street bc im clearly not masc looking enough #that’s driving me fucking bonkers . #i know i need to get my ass into gear and start the hrt process #but i just fucking know once i tell my parents what i want to do they’re gonna second guess me and not take it seriously #and that will drive me over the edge i think #i’m so fucking tired of having to listen to cis people who think they know my struggle better than indo #I AM the one who has put years worth of thinking into my medical transition. i am the one who has done the research. not you #jay rants