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#between i wish i was mad and i'm just too late
peachsayshi · 2 months
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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ domestic diaries
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minors / ageless / blank blogs dni
ೃ⁀➷ notes: I saw this gif (top right image) & wrote a post about nanami getting turned on seeing his wife in an itty bitty tank, and I cannot get this out of my head. I need this man to **** ** until I'm ******* and ******. this is very self indulgent. forgive me lskjfd
ೃ⁀➷ tags: smut; masturbation; oral (f receiving); nipple play; p in v; rough sex; reader wears glasses
feb 3 - 8:31 pm
"look at how wet you are-" nanami exhales, a strand of gold kissing his forehead. the muscles of his strong stomach flexing when he unfastens the last button of his shirt. he pulls the fabric over his broad shoulders, taking in your hungry eyes roaming all over his body. rough hands instantly trail to the belt cinched around his waist. you whimper when he loosens the buckle, your fingers circle over your clit just a little faster as you watch him yank the leather band out from between the loops.
"n' you're hard..." you softly pant, licking your lips which only continues to exacerbate your husband’s madness to have you.
he palms over the prominent tent that's formed against his slacks, his length stiff from the sight of coming home to you earlier. you were innocently standing in the kitchen, wearing your black thigh high socks and a pair of shorts along with an itty bitty tank top that did nothing to cover you. midriff out, nipples prominent. your hair a mess, and your glasses resting comfortably on the bridge of your nose.
it was in that moment when the realization struck nanami. when he pondered when was the last time he taken you to bed. both of your schedules have been busy. neither of you have been in the mood for making love, too worn out from the stresses of every day life.
so, his reaction towards you shouldn't have been that much of a surprise. he just wished that he noted the dry spill that's hit your relationship a little bit earlier.
"hi, baby", you sweetly greeted with a smile, as he stood there dumfounded with admiration. "you're home late, I was worried you might miss dinner-"
nanami loosened his tie, swallowing the hard lump that formed in his throat as his skin scorched with heat. he can feel it prick the tips of his ears, singe the the highest parts of his prominent cheek bones, and burn it's way down his neck. he stalked towards you before you allowed yourself to get distracted, and circled his arms around your waist to pull you in for a kiss.
you were taken aback by the urgency, but you soon melted in his arms and found yourselves in the sanctuary of your bedroom.
nanami smiles - an angelic grin, full of reverie. you have to press your lips together to stop yourself from pathetically moaning at the gesture.
your husband doesn't make it easier by treating his exceptionally attractive self with such nonchalance. so completely clueless by the power he has over you.
he boldly stares at you, eyes falling to the peaks of your breasts, the tips furiously prominent against your tank top and begging for attention. he followed the path down the lower half your naked body, to the triangle between your legs where you were fingering yourself in anticipation. half your legs were still concealed by your thigh high socks, your glasses slowly falling down your nose.
he drops his shirt to the ground, bringing those fingers to push back that infuriating rogue strand of hair that carelessly fell. he cups your knees, his thumbs stroking your socks lovingly as he nestles himself between your legs. his jaw twitches when you spread your lips for him, your arousal strings of sweet sugar. nanami leans forward to peck you tenderly at the source of your desire, and the sound that travels out of your throat is so desperate he nearly cums on the spot.
"shit-" you curse, your hands moving to rest on your lower belly so nanami can touch you as he pleases.
he uses to fingers to spread the petals once again, before placing his tongue flat to broadly stroke up your slit. his eyes flutter close and the drawl of his hum is deep, sending a shiver up your belly. you bring one hand to the locks of his hair, massaging his scalp lightly as you keep the strands from falling over.
"haven't tasted you in a while, my love," nanami sighs. his hot, heavy breath fanning your cunt.
he dives in with no mercy, making your hips buck into his face while he fucks you with his mouth. he pays extra attention to your clit, sucking on the bud and flicking his tongue back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth...your fingers dig into his scalp, your upper body nearly off the mattress as you hold him close. when nanami slides two fingers in to stretch you out, your eyes simply vanish to the back of your head. you're so soaked by the time you orgasm, tremors shaking your clenched thighs that nearly squeezed your husband's head.
you taste yourself on your tongue when he kisses you. it's sloppy, wet. completely primal. nanami only stops to remove his slacks, rbefore eadjusting your position when he climbs on the bed.
"take your glasses off," he commands, and you oblige as you place them by your side.
he flips you over, lifting your hips and creating a lovely slope on your spine. his hands graze over the socks pinching the meat of your thighs, and he widens your stance before aligning the heavy tip of his cock to your entrance.
your words are reduced to vowels, and when your husband gradually pushes himself against your folds, you release a long cry as you grip onto the sheets for support.
"oh fuck,-" nanami purrs, before pulling back and rutting deep into you. "uh-you feel s'good, s'warm..."
"kento-" your whine out his name pornographically, which makes your husband thrust into you even harder, "kento, more...please, please, please-ah~"
your tank top rides up as your body rubs against the mattress, your sensitive nipples brushing over your cool bed sheets. he's usually so gentle when fucking you, calculative even - but not tonight. tonight, his movements are unrelenting. whenever that mushroom head hits your sweet spot it has you seeing a cluster of white stars in your eyes. the sound of skin slapping skin echoes all around you, with nanami's grunts following in harmony. he's rough when he holds your hips because he's unable to hold onto any self control, because you're sucking him in, and milking his cock.
you anticipate the soreness to come.
when you orgasm a second time, tears prick your eyes from relief - it's been so long since you've had your husband inside you that you forgot how pliable you become in the process. he's so close now too, his flow staggering as his hipsstutter, until he finally releases his full load inside you.
it takes you both a few minutes to gather yourself. you can feel your husband grow soft inside you. you turn around to face him when you finally detach. sitting upright on your knees as you circle your arms around your neck, and bring your face in front of his.
you moan into a kiss, his own hands cupping your breasts chastely, his thumbs swiping over your pebbled nipples.
he rubs his nose over yours, his lips finding your cheeks as he kisses you. "you okay, my love?" he asks, always the gentleman for checking in. "m'sorry if I was rough, I..." he sighs, stealing another kiss from your lips before whispering, "I didn't realize how long it's been..."
you sniffle, your body coming down from the rushed high. "m'okay, kento..." you dreamily reassure, your lips seeking his own for another kiss, "that felt so good..."
"yeah?" he smiles before nipping at your bottom lip with his teeth and tracing that dangerous mouth down the curve of your neck. "felt good for me too, baby..."
you're like sand between his fingers, slipping through the cracks of lust and love. nanami leaves a trail of kisses down your collar bone, moving further until his lips circle over the tip of your breast.
you hiss when he sucks on it, using his hand to cup the weight. the sensation of his thumb makes you pulse between your legs, and you gaze down to watch him slowly pull away to release the bud. his eyes stay fixated on your chest, a small string of saliva connecting from your nipple to his bottom lip. he uses his thumb to wipe it away, stroking the hardened peak.
"want to keep going?" he speaks in a hushed tone, lifting his head up and resting his chin against your chest to gauge your mood.
"yeah," you sigh, wanting nothing more to ride along this intimate dance until your bodies can no longer keep up. "yeah, let's keep going..."
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readsaboutreid · 14 days
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Periods Suck
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this is inspired by lenaleechi on instagram's comic about hating periods as well as the gif above because it gives me mad baby fever so i guess this is season 4 softdom!spencer x gn!afab!bau!reader plus a blink and you'll miss it buffy the vampire slayer reference
content warning: breeding kink and period sex [i'm too stoned to think of any others but if you think of them please add them (kindly) in the replies and i'll add them in later :)]
this is smut, minors dni pls and thank you
"...fuck this, fuck everything and everyone, I am done, I quit," I ramble as I open the door to my apartment and kick off my dress shoes that were painfully squeezing my toes, just adding to my frustration. This case had been particularly mild compared to others but I couldn't help but be in a mood due to the littlest things done by the (admittedly innocent) local police officers. I was so relieved to finally go home and get to sleep in my own bed and curl up with a heating pad and my boyfriend with a Doctor Who marathon.
"Deep breaths, (y/n)," I hear from behind me in a soft, soothing tone as gentle hands come down to rub my shoulders from behind. I know he’s well aware what’s causing me to be in such a shitty mood. His pattern recognition skills are off the chart and while he never outright said anything to me about it he'd always be prepared with hot water bottles and chocolate when this time of the month rolled around. I turn around and bury my face into his chest with a sigh.
"I hate periods, Spencer. They suck," I whine with a sigh, my voice muffled by the knit fabric of his cardigan.
"I know, love," he sighs above me, resting his cheek on my forehead and wrapping his arms around me, "I'm sorry there's not more I could do to help."
"You're helping already," I sigh again, but this time out of contentment as we sway side to side in the entry way. "I wish there was a way I could just, like, stop having them," I mutter, my face returning to the soft fibers that I had come to find so comforting over the years.
Spencer's voice is muffled against my hair as he mutters, "That may be something I can assist you with." I don't even need to see his face to imagine the grin spread across it. Lately, he had been subtly expressing his desire for children, but after JJ gave birth to Henry, his hints have become more pressing. And technically, it was all because of me.
The night was a blur of celebration and drinks, as Emily and Garcia joined me in raising our glasses to toast the occasion. But as we were caught up in the joy of the moment, I couldn't help but let slip that after seeing the pure happiness on Spencer's face at the sight of his godchild a spark ignited within me, igniting a fierce case of baby fever that threatened to consume me entirely. Garcia, the horrible traitor that she is, had messaged a video of my confession to Spencer before I had even finished talking and before I knew it, my phone was buzzing with pictures from Spencer himself - tiny onesies and miniature sneakers - accompanied by words like, ‘just imagine a little genius of our own running around our home in this.’
Without changing his stance, he starts off on one of his typical Spencer Reid rants. "Did you know that scientific research has indicated that orgasms can alleviate menstrual cramps? It's due to the release of endorphins and muscular contractions which help relax the uterine lining," he explains with a slight hint of arousal in his tone, "not only does it address your discomfort, but it also takes care of your other request at the same time."
"We could start trying now, if you want," he suggests with a playful tone, though the subtle hint of desire in his voice sends a jolt of anticipation down my spine and settles between my thighs, igniting a fervent ache. Oh. Oh.
I finally turn my head to meet his gaze, and I am met with intense desire radiating from his eyes. His pupils are dilated, and he licks his lips before gently tracing a finger along my cheek and following up with a soft, "what do you think?"
I interrupt him by pulling his face towards mine, and our lips meet in a soft kiss. Suddenly, I'm pushed against the wall with the command to "jump," and my legs automatically wrap around Spencer as he lifts me up by my ass. Our lips met in a hungry yet tender kiss.
Our breaths come in ragged gasps as he pulls away to meet my gaze, his eyes searching mine for confirmation. I eagerly nod, my heart racing and anticipation building. Our lips collide once more, the heat between us intensifying as we lose ourselves in each other's embrace. The world fades into the background as our bodies meld together, consumed by desire. He sets me down and guides me to our bedroom by the hand, giggling slightly with excitement. I know he wants kids and we have discussed having them together in the future but the giddiness of the grown ass man in front of me ends up drawing a giggle from my own throat as well.
As we enter the bedroom, he stoops down to give me a quick kiss before heading to the bathroom. He grabs an old black towel I use for dyeing my hair and returns, laying it down on the bed and patting it lightly. He sends me sweet smile full of adoration as he whispers, "after you, my love."
I stumble towards the light switch and turn it off before making my way over to the bed. I take off my top and lay down, the darkness giving me a sense of privacy. Suddenly, I hear a soft sound from Spencer as he walks away. The lights flick back on, and he quickly closes the distance between us with just two steps. Before I can even cover myself up in the glare of the harsh light, he's already crawling on top of me.
"You're so gorgeous," he beams at me again before leaning in to kiss me gently, lowering his hips to rest between my legs as they wrap back around his hips instinctively as he begin peppering kisses all over my face and drawing endless laughs from my mouth, "I'm," kiss, "so," kiss, "lucky," kiss, "to," kiss, "have," kiss, "you."
He moves back, his lips leaving a trail of fire as they kiss and caress my skin. My jaw trembles under the soft brush of his lips, before he slowly trails kisses down to my throat. I can't help but let out a moan as his lips touch the sensitive skin there. His body presses against mine, the unmistakable hardness of his arousal pressing against my hypersensitive center. Every move, every touch, sends electric shivers through my body, igniting a primal desire within me.
My body aches with desire as I struggle to catch my breath. "Please remove your clothing now," I manage to say between deep, passionate kisses. Spencer eagerly strips down and helps me out of my own clothes before settling back between my legs. His arousal presses against the wetness between my thighs, adding to the intense heat building inside me.
"I've been craving this all week, sweetness," he mutters against my neck as he sucks feverishly at the skin, leaving love bites in his wake. "Craving you and your beautiful body." I have no idea how he managed to get me from wildly upset to wildly horny in such a short time, but instead of questioning it, I just let out a moan as I grind my hips against him, begging for his cock to enter me. He continues to tease me by rubbing the tip against my wet slit.
“P-please, Spence,” I whimper, unable to form a coherent sentence through the haze of lust I had become quickly lost within.
Spencer's eyes flicker with desire as he holds himself over me, his hands fisting the sheets on either side of my head. "Say it again," he growls, rubbing his erection against my aching center.
"P-please," I beg, my voice shaking with need.
He chuckles darkly, the sound sending shivers down my spine.
"As you wish," he murmurs before slowly sliding inside me. I gasp at the intense pleasure that washes over me, causing my body to arch off the bed and my nails to dig into his back. He begins to move in slow, deep thrusts, filling me completely and igniting a fire within me that threatens to consume every inch of my being.
As our bodies meld together in a blazing inferno, time itself seems to cease to exist. Every touch of Spencer's fingers sends shivers of ecstasy coursing through me, while each caress of his lips against mine ignites a fire within. Our movements are fluid and perfect, each one bringing us closer to the pinnacle of pleasure. I am consumed by an overwhelming sensation, my senses heightened to their limits as our passion reaches an almost unbearable intensity. It feels as though this moment could stretch on for eternity, and I never want it to end. In this single moment, there is nothing else but the all-consuming desire between us, and I give myself completely to it.
My heart pounds against my ribs as Spencer's gaze locks onto mine, his eyes filled with the same ferocity and desire that burns within me. He gives me a wicked grin, and I can feel my resolve crumble as the insatiable hunger consumes me. "You want to have my baby?" he gasps, and all I can respond with is a loud, whorish moan, entirely unable to form any words as his hips start to move ever so slightly faster.
He surges forward, his body fusing with mine in a wild, primal dance. Our movements become more frenzied, our bodies slamming together with the force of a thousand thunderstorms. My breath comes in short gasps as Spencer's relentless thrusts coax an orgasm out of me. My muscles tense, my hips bucking against him, seeking the sweet release from the intense pleasure building up inside of me.
Every thrust, every touch, every whispered word sends me higher and higher, my body arching and bucking beneath him in a frenzy of ecstasy.
Spencer's eyes are locked onto mine as he continues to drive into me, his gaze burning with an intensity that matches the fire inside us both. His hands grip my hips tightly, never losing rhythm as he thrusts into me and coaxes that sweet release from me. My body trembles and shakes with each surge, and I can feel the orgasm building, growing stronger and more intense with each passing second.
A low, guttural moan escapes from Spencer's lips as he picks up the pace, his movements becoming harder and faster. I can feel him growing more desperate, and I know that he's close to his own release.
The pleasurable ache between my legs intensifies, and I know that I'm about to reach that peak. I let out a helpless whimper as the pleasure was threatening to overtake me, and I feel as though I'm being pulled into a vortex of ecstasy. Time seems to stand still, and I'm lost in the moment, our bodies moving together in perfect harmony.
The bed creaks and groans with our passionate lovemaking, the sound echoing in my ears as I reach for the pinnacle of pleasure. Spencer's eyes are locked onto mine, and I see the same intensity in them that I feel in my own being. We're one, united in our desire for each other, and nothing else matters in this world.
His thrusts become harder and faster, the tip of his erection brushing against the most sensitive part of me with every stroke. The pleasure is overwhelming, and I can feel the orgasm building within me, growing stronger with each passing second. I cling to Spencer, my nails digging into his back as I beg him to take me over the edge.
“Gonna fill you up,(Y/N),” Spencer moans, “everyone will know who you belong to once you’re — oh fuck — carrying my fucking baby inside you.” His words send me falling over the edge and I can feel myself slipping away, my mind consumed by the intense pleasure reaching it's peak as my hips buck wildly.
Time seems to stand still as we reach the pinnacle of pleasure together. Our bodies move in perfect sync, every thrust, every caress, every whispered word fueling the fire that burns within us. The pleasure is all-consuming, coursing through my veins and reaching every cell in my body. I let out a series of orgasmic moans bordering on screams and Spencer smiles down at me wickedly, his eyes never leaving mine as his thrusts become harder and more disjointed as his own orgasm looms on the horizon. His moans grow louder and louder as the feeling of slight overstimulation makes me clench even tighter around his throbbing cock as he reaches his breaking point.
"Please, Spencer," I whisper, "make me yours, sir. P-please, please put a baby in me!"
Finally, with one last deep thrust, Spencer moans loudly and shudders above me, his body rigid as he loses himself in the pleasure of a release he had been building up to for what felt like an eternity. As Spencer's body shudders above mine, I can feel the warmth of his release filling me up, an earth-shattering feeling that takes my breath away. We lay there for a moment, our bodies still joined together, basking in the afterglow of our passion. Finally, with a contented sigh, Spencer pulls out of me and collapses onto the bed beside me.
I snap back to reality, my mind reeling from the intensity of our lovemaking. I can feel the stickiness between my legs, a reminder of the incredible moment we just shared. The room is still, the only sounds being our heavy breathing and the rhythmic beating of our hearts. I reach over to grab the bedside table, searching for a tissue to clean myself up.
"Spencer?" I say softly, my voice barely a whisper.
"Yeah, sweetheart?" he replies, still out of breath.
I flash him a saucy grin, "I think we'll have to make sure we keep trying this before my next period so I won't have to suffer through another one, for a while." I joked, while playfully poking his chest.
He chuckled softly, brushing a lock of hair behind my ear, "I think that's a great idea, my love." I couldn't help but giggle at his response, feeling a burst of warmth spread through my body.
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Friendly lips pt. 2 | L.N.
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Lando Norris x friend!reader
Summary: Two close friends try navigating the complex emotions that have arisen after their unexpected kiss.
Warnings: lil sexual themes, fluff.
Word count: ~1.6K
<
Lando couldn't escape the memory of your lips, the taste of your strawberry lip balm had lingered on his mouth since the night before. He had known the familiar scent for a long time, but now, he had a different connection to it, one that left him feeling both exhilarated and bewildered.
As you yawned and cuddled up to him, his eyes remained fixed on the ceiling, deep in thought. When you greeted him with a "good morning," he realized he had been lost in his own world ever since he awoke.
"Morning," he replied, wrapping his hand around your shoulders, pulling you closer. But, in the quiet of the morning, Lando couldn't help but continue the wrestle with his emotions.
For the first time in his life, he had to resist an overwhelming urge to lock lips with his best friend, to taste the strawberries on your lips once more. It felt like a whirlwind of emotions and confusion, and he couldn't quite make sense of it.
"Ready for the last race of the weekend?" you inquired, breaking the building tension with a smile.
"Absolutely," he replied, letting go of his inner turmoil. "I'm already on fire to get on that track."
The tension dissipated, and you smiled contentedly, hugging your friend closer. "Can't wait to see it."
Lando couldn't help but tease you, "Well, if you hadn't been late yesterday, you would have seen it, but clearly, you don't love me enough."
You retaliated by biting his shoulder, causing him to yelp. "OUCH!"
You playfully scolded him, "Stop being a drama queen, or I'll bite you again."
Lando countered, a mischievous glint in his eyes, "But you love it when I'm dramatic…"
Deep in thought, you responded, "You're right, I do. Sorry, Lan," and sealed your apology with a kiss on the small red mark your teeth had left on his shoulder before heading to the shower.
Lando lay in bed, not moving, not breathing, his gaze locked onto his shoulder, where your lips had been mere seconds ago. The world felt like it had gone mad, and he couldn't help but wonder if he had too. The complicated dance between friendship and the unexpected pull of desire was a puzzle he wasn't sure how to solve, but one thing was certain: it had changed everything.
Lando couldn't comprehend why you appeared so nonchalant about the kiss, as if it held no significance to you. It left him frustrated and angry, wondering why you seemed to have it so easy, unaffected by the emotions that were tormenting him. He partly wished he could just go with the flow and pretend it didn't mean anything, but he knew he'd be lying to himself. He didn't want to forget the memory of how you felt and tasted against him, and that left him feeling increasingly lost.
Sitting in the garage, his hands almost pulling at his hair in frustration, Lando couldn't help but think about the kiss.
His gaze was fixed on you and some other drivers chatting, and the mere sight of you only deepened his inner turmoil.
Oscar, a keen observer, approached Lando, concern etched on his face. "You're all right, man? You seem stressed."
"I am stressed," Lando admitted, feeling a weight on his shoulders.
"Why? You did great yesterday, and today's race isn't even that important. I'm still sure you'll get on the podium."
Lando took a deep breath before responding. "It's not really about the race. I just can't get something out of my head…" He trailed off, his gaze still locked on you.
Oscar didn't miss a beat and saw right through Lando's internal struggle. "So, you've finally caught up to yourself and don't know how to get Y/N to be your girlfriend?"
Lando wasn't going to answer, but Oscar's persistence got to him. "I kissed her… well, more like we both kissed."
"When did that happen?!" Oscar's eyes widened with surprise.
"Yesterday…"
"Wow, mate… I mean, that's good. You've gotten out of the friend zone and into the boyf-"
Lando cut him off. "Not like that."
"What do you mean?"
"We were just playing around, and I stupidly, as a joke, said that we should kiss. She agreed, and we kissed, and… well, nothing, absolutely nothing. At first, I thought maybe she just felt awkward about the whole thing, but now I honestly think she's pretending like it didn't happen."
Oscar let out a low whistle. "Man, that's a lot."
"I know," Lando sighed, his frustration and confusion still gnawing at him.
As Lando finished the race in P1, the frustrations that had plagued him earlier seemed to have dissipated. He stepped out of the car, and the entire team swarmed him, offering hugs, congratulations, and pats on the back. You stood back, your heart swelling with eagerness, tears welling up in your eyes.
Amidst the commotion, your eyes were drawn to Lando, who looked incredibly happy and radiant. His smile, brighter than ever, was like a beacon of joy that made your own heart soar to life. You could hardly contain your emotions as you waited for your turn to congratulate the boy who officially lived rent free in your mind.
After a series of interviews, Lando finally had a moment to break free from the throng of well-wishers and head your way. As he made his approach, your eyes locked together, and in that shared gaze, all your unspoken emotions seemed to flow freely.
The two of you collided in a fierce, emotional hug, and Lando used his whole strength to pull you as close as possible. His face found solace in the crook of your neck as tears of happiness streamed down both of your cheeks. While your hands surrounded his shoulders, tangling in his champagne covered hair as you held on to him with all your might as well.
In that moment, as Lando inhaled your scent, time seemed to come to a standstill, leaving only the two of you in the world, your voice a clear whisper. "Congratulations, Lando, you are the winner." You could feel his rapid heartbeat against your own chest, making your heart come in sync with his.
He pulled away slightly, his gaze locked on your eyes, and you could see the depth of his feeling reflected in his soft, adoring look. "You're my best prize," he said, winking and gently kissing your forehead.
Your heart swelled even more, and you couldn't help the words that so silently escaped your lips, "I am yours."
However, your whisper was not to be heard as Lando was pulled away by ta group of other drivers pulling him into proud hugs. But Lando‘s eyes remained on yours speaking louder than you could, written in the language of your eyes, and it was a memory neither of you would ever forget.
Returning to the hotel after the race, you and Lando were still high on adrenaline from his impressive win. You ended up back in your pajamas, entangled together on the bed, watching a movie. The situation felt like a repetition of a few days ago when you had shared your kiss.
Your mind was racing with thoughts about that kiss, how it had lingered in your thoughts since it had happened. It was as if you couldn't escape the memory, and the way Lando made you feel.
On the other hand, Lando had accepted his fate, believing that he was just a friend to you. He was glad to, at the very least make you a proud friend with his victory, but the weight of disappointment sat heavy on his heart, especially when moments like this, being so close to you, felt utterly natural.
"Lando," you began, voice hesitant, "can I ask you something? But you must be honest."
"Whatever you want, darling," he replied, the endearment bringing a blush to your cheeks.
"Did our kiss mean anything to you?" you asked, eyes searching his with a mixture of hope and trepidation. You needed to know the truth, even if it meant potentially shattering your own heart.
He straightened up, looking directly in your eyes. "Everything... But if you wish to forget it, let's..."
His words trailed off as his gaze fell from yours, unable to withstand your lovely gaze that he was adamant he found himself drowning in
"I wish I never have to forget what kissing your lips feels like" you poured your heart out to your friend, meaning every word you softly spoke to him.
He is shocked by your words but your following actions shock him even further. You place your hands on his cheeks and pull him down, locking in your wish with yet another passionate kiss.
"Y/n please be mine, I’m begging you" the strawberry flavor has once again enveloped his senses and he rests his forehead against yours, his ardent breath ghosting your lips.
"Without a question my love, I’ve been yours this whole time" you reply, sealing your promise with a kiss to his cheek. Lando practically melts into you, breathing you in as if you were his lifeline.
A wide smile broke across his face, and you both began to chuckle as he peppered your face with affectionate kisses. "This is so much better than winning the race," he confessed, caressing your face.
"Even better than the champagne?" you can’t help yourself but tease him for his love of the sparkling drink.
 "Your lips are my champagne now" he said with a smirk, capturing you in another sweet and feverish kiss.
>
A.N. I hope this ain't too shabby...
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kasagia · 11 months
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Bruises and scars
Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem! tidemaker! reader Summary: Kaz Brekker believed he was too broken and bruised to ever count on you reciprocating his childish crush. You were a powerful Grisha, someone who wouldn't be content to be in a relationship with the human shell that he was. That's why he gives you the cold shoulder, that's why he avoids you like the water you wield so well, that's why he tried to drive you away after the day you confessed your feelings to him. Kaz Brekker couldn't love anyone. It would not be beneficial to either side. But Kaz Rietveld rises from the dead, reminding him of what it's like to feel unconditional, blind love. And he won't give up. Not until he gets his girl back... isn't it too late for that, though? Warning(s): Kaz and his trauma; violence; he's afraid of his feelings but loves the reader; generally Kazzle misses the reader; angst with fluff; I'm a sucker for happy endings, but the boy suffered WITHOUT HIS INVESTMENT; mentions of de@th and bl00d Word count: 7,4k
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Counting days, counting days since my love up and got lost on me
"You're sending Jesper to do your dirty work for you? I didn't know you were afraid to talk to one of your own crows." you stormed into his office without even bothering to knock. Kaz swallowed. He really should have been better prepared for this conversation. After all, he knew you wouldn't give up so easily. "What is this?" you asked, slamming the wad of paper onto his desk.
"I thought you could read. This is your next job." he replied calmly, not looking up from the papers in his hand.
"In some snobbish fucking king's palace? Are you kidding me?"
"Nikolai isn't that bad. You'll see when you get there."
"And what makes you think that I will voluntarily leave Ketterdam, the club, my friends, and the Crows for two bloody years, Kaz?" for the first time since you walked into his office, he looked up from his papers, fixing you with a cool, impassive gaze.
"That I'm your boss, and you have to obey me. You needed a reminder, judging by the tone of voice you use when you speak to me."
"Was it because of what I said to you when I almost..."
"No!" he growled at you, stopping you from finishing your sentence. That day had already joined his nightmares anyway. He didn't have to constantly recall your almost-death. "It has nothing to do with it." he said, hoping that would put an end to your conversation and went back to writing down the numbers.
"Do not lie to me. I know when you do it, Kaz. You got scared because I said I love…"
"You can go and get ready, Y/N." he said without looking up from the paper he was holding. He had never felt her gaze so hot and intense on him before. They always glanced furtively at each other, discreetly indulging in the silly fantasy of loving each other.
Like they could ever afford to live a normal life. As if he could ever love you properly—the way you deserved.
You stared at him intently, trying to find any trace of emotion in him, any evidence that he didn't really want to send you away from Ketterdam, that he was only doing it because Dirtyhands was afraid of the growing feeling between you two.
"I can hold on like this, Kaz." your soft whisper cut through him, making him shiver. He could bear your screams, your anger, your madness, but the tenderness, the vulnerability you showed only around him… was much more dangerous to the cold Barrel Bastard. "I can go and return to you like nothing happened. I can stay near you and pretend I don't feel anything towards you. I can stop myself from wishing for your slightest touch. I can hide my true emotions around you and other people, just like I have done before… but please just prove to me that it's all worth it. That you can slowly take off pieces of your armour and let me see and be with the real you. Not the Brekker's mask you wore every time we were on Ketterdam's street. Not the Dirtyhands' cruel version of yourself that you created to survive in this town. Not the Bastard from the Barrel, who has so much power in his hands to take down his every enemy. Just the real you, Kaz. The genius-mind boss who cares about his people, not only the kruge. The man who loves his friends more than anything on this earth. The man who risked his own life and saved me from death's arms more times than I could count. Please… just give me this little piece of hope." he tried hard not to raise his gaze to meet your captivating, imploring irises that could touch Brekker's heart.
He knew that the moment he looked at your face, he would doom you both by giving in to this burning desire to be with you.
But he couldn't.
He had to keep you away from him.
"You must be foolish or delusional to think like that. I'm the Bastard from the Barrel. And I care about my crows, because they are good investments. Nothing more and nothing less, Y/L/N."
"Is this everything that we are? What am I to you? An investment?"
Kaz's mouth went dry as he felt the waters rising around him, when a familiar feeling of panic began to seep through his practised mask. He looked away, not wanting you to read his true emotions. Not wanting you to see how much he wanted to confess his true feelings to you.
No. You're my moon, my sun that illuminates me in my darkness. The reason why I'm even bothering to learn how to touch people without going under the water again. You give me hope and peace every time you're close to me. You're my greatest power and weakness. The only one in this bloody world who can change my plans. The only one I care about in the mornings, afternoons, nights, and midnights. I can't drink, eat, think, sleep, or work without thinking about you. You have the power over me. And that's terrified me.
He desperately wanted to give in to his desire.
But he couldn't.
He was too bruised and broken for you.
"Then I have my answer, Mr. Brekker." you broke the long, tense silence between you two. Kaz was too terrified to shift his gaze from the papers on his desk to the only woman who could easily crack the wall around his cold, almost dead heart with one of your smiles towards him. Too afraid to watch the tender expression on your face turn into a cold detachment, just like your tone of voice. "Sorry for taking up your precious time, boss. But I would rather be the foolish girl who falls in love too easily for her own good than a powerful man who doesn't want to feel anything. Nobody will sit around the table and tell a story about a man who loves only his kruge. No matter how great he was." your disappointed whisper lingered in his office long after you left.
He sat dazed in his chair until the candle stub burned out completely, leaving him alone in the darkness of his office. He stood up, lit a new candle, and watched the flame. He couldn't focus on anything other than replaying your conversation.
Rietveld's voice echoed in Brekker's head, somehow getting through his wall, mocking powerful Dirtyhands.
Coward.
And every breath that I’ve been taking since you left feels like a waste on me
"No way!" Jesper's loudspeaker scream snapped Kaz out of his thoughts. He sighed, rubbing his face with his hand, and got up from the desk.
He has done nothing since that fateful conversation. Absolutely nothing. He limited himself to staring blankly at the wall as his thoughts of Y/N effectively took complete control of him. He needed a distraction. Jesper's screams outside his office were perfect.
Without his cane, he walked to the door, eavesdropping on what was going on outside his office.
"Find another idiot to tell him. Or better yet, grab some suicide guy from the roof. If he wants to die anyway, he might as well act as a messenger for their one last time before Kaz rips their head off. SHIT!" the sharpshooter screamed in panic, nearly losing his balance as the door he was partially leaning against was opened by his rather worried boss. "Kaz, the fuck, since when are you sneaking around like that?!"
"Why exactly would I want to have ripped someone's heads off, Jesper?" he ignored his comment, eager to find out what they were hiding from him as soon as possible.
Maybe that would effectively occupy his head, so he could stop thinking about the tidemaker for a while. Unfortunately, neither of the two were in a hurry to answer his question.
"You know, there's always an occasion. Theft, insult, threat, frown, bad day, wedding, christening…" Jesper shut up, seeing that his attempts at a joke only infuriated an already irritated Kaz.
"Y/N is gone." Kaz unconsciously held his breath, feeling the whole world freeze around him for a moment, until anger and panic took hold of him.
"What? Did someone kidnap her? How did you look after her?!" he growled furiously, walking back to the office and limping towards his cane. His crows followed hesitantly, watching him struggle as he tried to put on his cloak in his haste.
"She runaway. I lost track of her around the harbour." a new revelation made Kaz freeze again. He stared blankly into the space between Jesper and Inej, turning his cane's crow head in his hand.
He should have anticipated that too. Had a backup plan. But he didn't. He's been acting strangely lately. He didn't recognize himself. But after all, that was what he had wanted all along - to stay away from Y/N. So why had her disappearance made him feel so much worse?
"Kaz? Should we send some people to…"
"No need, Inej. Go back to work. You too, Jesper." the gambler looked like he wanted to argue with him, but the Wraith, seeing their friend's strange behavior, grabbed his hand, and they obediently walked away from their boss.
Kaz leaned against the desk, dullly staring at the closed door.
It was supposed to be better that way. Neither you nor he will ever meet again. You won't exchange those longing glances again. You won't act like a couple of teenagers in love, and no one will ever attack or harm you to get to him again or to threaten him. Nobody was going to get hurt.
So why did he feel like he was going back under the water?
I’ve been holding on to hope That you’ll come back when you can find some peace Cause every word that I’ve heard spoken since you left feels like an hollow street
One week, two days, 10 hours, 34 minutes and 29 seconds. That's how long it's been since he last saw your face.
He was secretly hoping you'd come back to him and the crows. Fuck the crows, he just wanted you to walk through that damned door again and start arguing with him, shouting at him, cursing his name at all the saints you knew, so he could hear your voice again.
He missed you. More than he thought he would.
Irritatingly, everything around him reminded him of you.
Especially your empty seat during Crow's meetings. No one dared to occupy it, as if every one of the gathered was waiting for you to come through that door (or window) again with a malicious, characteristic smirk on your face, mumbling some insincere apology for being late.
It never happened. Though Inej prayed to her saints every day for your return. Just like the others. Although each of them experienced your departure differently. Jes stared often at the places you once occupied, imagining you were still there. Nina found herself often making too many waffles (of course, accidentally making exactly the few you were used to eating). Wylan often creates his bombs and other things in your favourite colours.
But Kaz probably took your absence the worst of them all.
If he had slept little before, fearing that nightmares about Jordie would haunt him, now he hardly slept at all. Because every time he closed his eyes, he saw your face. He heard your laugh. He smelled your perfume. He felt cursed. Cursed by you the moment your eyes looked at him full of sadness, anger, and disappointment... full of pain.
He thought that if you disappeared from his sight, he would forget about you and go back to normal. But your leaving only made him think of you more often and longer. He sat behind his desk for hours, staring blankly at the papers in front of him. Spread out plans, bills, and maps; it all stopped making sense to him. It stopped coming together, creating a perfect plan in his head.
All he could think about was you.
And Rietveld's voice, instead of being silenced and buried alive in his cold heart with your disappearance, only broke through his hard surface more and more often with the passing days without you by his side. And he wasn't holding back from taunting Dirtyhands at all.
The great Kaz Brekker fell victim to one of his own plans.
There must be something in the water Cause everyday it's getting colder And if only I could hold you You'd keep my head from going under
Even Ketterdam has felt your absence.
This time of year, it usually warms up enough for people to shed their heavy winter coats. However, it was the middle of spring, and a cool, icy wind still blew through the streets, bringing occasional, small snowfalls that melted on the street, creating mud.
Kaz had never despised the city he lived in more. Even it laughed in his face at his stupidity, reminding him that it was his fault that the only spark of joy and bewitchingness in this damned city had gone.
He shuddered as a child shoved past him, running happily to the ship that had come into harbour and thrown itself into its father's waiting arms. Brekker began to take rapid, panicked breaths. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall of one of the buildings, trying to imagine something other than Jordie.
His haphephobia got worse.
Earlier, he could bear the fleeting touch of strangers, such as being brushed up against him in a crowd. It was no problem for him to touch his crows for a few minutes (especially you and your comfortable hugs, holding your hand, or just feeling your warm skin under his bare fingertips).
But now even the slightest contact with a stranger brought him immediately under the water. And the tiny touch from his crows raised the waves he had to calm in the privacy of his office.
He was rolling down. He knew it well. But he saw it as his personal punishment for hurting your feelings in a brutal way instead of gently cutting you off. Maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much.
Kaz knew he was fooling himself. He would suffer anyway. He let you go too deep under his skin, penetrate his essence, and know his soul too well to just give up on you, and forget about you.
And what terrified him most was that, given the choice, he would let you in again. Even knowing he would be devastated after letting you go.
But it was better for you. You deserved something better than this life you would live with him.
And that one thought kept him sane. That he did it for your own good, that wherever you are now, he's sure you're better off than you were in Ketterdam.
Which didn't stop him from checking every ship that came into port in the sick hope of seeing your angelic face.
He just had to get over his grief. He did the same with Jordie.
The only difference was that he didn't dream of holding his brother back in his arms like he dreamed of you.
Maybe I, maybe I’m just being blinded By the brighter side Of what we had because it’s over Well there must be something in the tide
Kaz was on your bed, reading one of your books you accidentally left behind. It was all he could do lately. He wasn't sure how long it had been since he'd left that room for anything other than food and a change of clothes. He missed you. And he had no idea what he should do.
He inhaled your faint scent on the pillows.
In some strange way (probably because of your ability to control the water), you always smelled of the sea, even when you weren't near the harbour. Kaz hated water and hated the salty sea smell that hit him whenever he passed near the harbour. It reminded him of Jordie. But inexplicably, the smell of the sea on you brought him comfort, safety... peace.
Now it was a reminder of something else—how he let you slip through his fingers. In fact, he pushed you away from himself.
He shook his head, trying not to think about you. However, the world was always against him and never made things easy for him. The fact that the dried flower had fallen out of the book onto his chest was proof of that.
With trembling hands, he set the book aside and reached for the flower, afraid he would ruin it. However, the need to see if his eyes were deceiving him was greater than the fear of spoiling such a precious thing.
He remembered that flower. He put it in your hair himself.
"Just the two of us in a field of flowers? If I didn't know you better, I'd think it was a date, boss." he rolled his eyes as you giggled at his reaction.
"Stop it. Or they'll notice us." he muttered, trying to ignore the cool wind that somehow made its way through the high grass. He wrapped his cloak around him, enviously noting that the girl next to him didn't seem to feel that cold. He internally slapped himself for wanting to share his cloak with her.
"I highly doubt they'd want to look for us in that thicket of grass. Besides, usually when a woman is giggling at a place and situation like this, stealing some noblewoman's jewels is the last thing on her mind, Kaz. The same applies to her potential partner."
"As if I heard Jesper." he sighed, focusing on the nobles in front of them. The plan was for Jesper to distract them while he and Y/N collected what they had come for. Simple and fast, if his childish desire to be paired with Y/N did not overwhelm his senses. She distracted him more than he could afford.
"You and Jes also had a secret meeting among the wildflowers? Now, I'm jealous."
"Jes?" he asked, turning his surprised gaze on her.
"Yes, do you mind?"
"You've known him for a week." he remarked dryly.
"Yes, and what?"
"It took you two months to start calling me by my first name, let alone a nickname."
"Just because you preferred to call me tidemaker instead of using my name."
"To be honest, it might have slipped my mind then." he muttered under his breath, not realising she heard him.
"You forgot my fucking name?! Kaz Brekker you are the most ignorant person I've ever seen." Kaz knew from the anger in her eyes that only his haphephobia kept him from getting his ass kicked by Y/N.
"Well, now I remember." he tried to defend himself.
"I don't care, Brekker. Now you can even call me the fucking Easter Bunny and I won't answer you anyway."
"Don't be a child, Y/N. Y/N?" Kaz sighed in frustration when he got no response from you.
He had to come up with something; he knew this name thing wouldn't be resolved until he appeased you properly. And he didn't have time to indulge in your sulks. You had to rob these people. (It's not like his heart ached when you were mad at him.)
Fortunately, out of the corner of his eye, he saw something that might help him. Your favourite flower, growing at his fingertips. He plucked a plant and put it behind your ear without thinking. You flinched at the sudden touch, staring at him in shock as the material of his gloves brushed your cheek as he pulled his hand away.
"Maybe I forgot your name then, but now I remember and know a lot more about you than just a stupid name."
"But how… how do you know I like y/f/f?" you asked in shock, never in your wildest dreams imagining that Kaz Brekker would bother with something like your favorite flower.
"You are my tidemaker. My most important investment. It's logical that I'll know you inside out."
"Should I be afraid or appreciate this unsettling but sweet effort?"
"You should know by now that nothing I do is sweet."
"Of course, big, terrible, Dirtyhands." you replied with a small smirk, similar to the one that kept Kaz from your sight.
To her, he could be more than Kaz Brekker. He could be Kaz Rietveld. And it terrified him more than the urge to reach out his hand again and fix her windblown hair.
The mastermind has been deceived by his own heart.
I’ve been told, I’ve been told to get you off my mind But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind Oh my Lord, oh my Lord, I need you by my side
"Zenik. Follow me." he muttered as he finally found the woman at the bar. He headed for his office without looking back, knowing full well that she would do as she was told this time.
"Yes, Kaz?"
"You are contacting Y/N." it wasn't a question. He knew it the moment Nina sent you her first letter a month ago.
He himself tried to send you his letter a week ago. It came back unopened, and the delivery man said no such person lives at this address. A lie he recognised without even knowing that Nina and you were still writing to each other.
"I am." she replied coolly. Kaz, seeing that he did not want to voluntarily cooperate, sighed and sat down in his chair. His leg was starting to hurt more and more often - another thing that went bad with you leaving.
"How is she?"
"Happy. Relatively. She is tormented by nightmares and unwanted thoughts about you." if Nina wanted to make him feel guilty, she did it brilliantly.
He already felt terrible without her judging eyes and dry answers. She must have seen the shadows under his eyes, as he did in his mirror. He had no right to pity himself. He knew it well. That's why he put up with Nina's attitude, in his stupid desire to know how you were doing.
"So… is she better off than here?"
"No. But that's not your problem anymore."
"Did she find someone?" he asked hesitantly, afraid of an affirmative answer.
"Possibly, things are evolving."
Kaz felt the world stop around him for a moment. The idea of someone else watching how you play with water and create ice sculptures, someone listening to your beautiful voice and making you laugh, someone capable of holding you and kissing you, made him sick. A sick sense of jealousy that Kaz only experienced when he saw the wealth of others.
A rash desire to come for you overtook him. He had to have you back. Before you fall in love with someone other than him.
"Do you think if we…"
"No, Kaz." Nina cut him off before he could ask a question. "You wanted to get rid of her, so hold on to your fucking decision. You hurt her, and you knew damn well you would, by ordering her to return to Ravka. Honestly, Kaz, did you think about how it would impact her? How she would feel? If you wanna break her heart again, go on. Chase her. Let's see if she forgives you also this time."
"Then what should I do?" he asked, and the desperation and hopelessness of his tone terrified both him and the woman standing in front of his desk. Nobody had ever seen him like this. Even you. And now he was ready to open up to anyone just to have you by his side again.
"Forget about her. After all, that's what you wanted, right?" he did not answer.
She was right. He wanted to get rid of you. Now he was paying the price, and he had no right to ask you to ease his pain and return to the Kettedram. Return to him. Which doesn't mean that his stupid heart will just let him forget about you. He's learned that over the months without you. And he cursed all the saints that he didn't know it until he gave you the cold shoulder.
Kaz no longer had the right to your affection. He had to accept it. He had to accept that he had given up his chance to love you. That now you had every right to go and love someone else. Even if the very idea drove him crazy and desperate.
He must have forgotten about you. For the sake of all of you.
But Nina's slamming of his office door only brought him back to his memories of you.
There must be something in the water Cause everyday it's getting colder And if only I could hold you You'd keep my head from going under
Kaz fell. He was in the most pathetic position.
He didn't care, though, as he sat like a fool on the shore of the same lake where he met you. At which he irreversibly gave you the remnants of his heart a few years ago, without even knowing it.
He told himself that Nina was right. Once he let you go, he had to persevere in that resolve. Ketterdam will only bring you pain... so why was it so hard for him to let go of his last ties to you?
"Why are you coming here with me?" your gentle voice snapped him out of his thoughts as he stared spellbound at your little water show.
"Am I bothering you?" he asked, shifting in his place on the dock as he watched you float in the lake.
He wouldn't even dip his little toe in himself, but he liked to silently watch you become one with what was dear to you. And by the way, he could admire your skills and beauty as much as he wanted. He didn't have to look for any particular excuse.
"No. It's just that I've never seen you watch your other crows train."
"They're not like you." it slipped out before he could think about it. "If anyone sees you, I better get them before they announce to the world that one of the Black General's tidemakers has taken refuge with me." your smirk dropped at the mere mention of your former life. Kaz cursed in his mind. "You are also too valuable an investment. And the rest of the crows liked you. It's a big achievement. Inej doesn't let new people in so easily... me too."
"So you like me after all, boss?" you asked with that mischievous smirk on your lips that made his heart beat like crazy. Good thing water was your specialty. At least you didn't hear his heart pounding.
"You're tolerable company, and what you can do… what you can do is amazing."
"It's just little tricks." you murmured, forming different shapes out of the water. "At the king's parties, I was quite often one of the highlights." you waved your hand, freezing the water to form an ice statue. His statue. "Not every tidemaker is strong enough to freeze water." with another wave of your hand, to his silent displeasure, you melted the ice. "Not to mention turning ice into water again. Most just stop at its liquid form and don't train any more. I like to think I'm too curious to ever stop exploring my powers."
"Or stubborn." he said with a small smirk, listening to your wonderful laugh.
He must have been cursed from the start, since fate had put someone so perfect in his path... someone he could never have. But he could have been watching you. Enjoy his eyes with your beauty and his ears with the tone of your voice.
"Sometimes that's a good trait too. You taught me that yourself."
"How convenient for you to learn from me only what you want and not what you need."
"Sometimes what we want is more important than what we need and what is more rational for us."
"What for example?"
"Love." he tried to keep a poker face, but apparently his eyes betrayed more than he would have liked, as you gave him a confused, questioning look. "What? You've never been in love?"
NO. Not until he looked into your eyes and heard you laugh. Not until he got into your first argument with you and lost with a smile on his face. Not until he first saw you use your powers to outsmart the bandits who attacked you. Not until he saw how the moonlight in Ketterdam made your eyes shine even more than usual, so that you might as well have lit up all of the city with your beauty. Not until he first heard his name come out of your mouth. No, until he foolishly began to believe in Inej's saints, when he saw how tenderly and kindly you treat the orphans in the streets of Ketterdam.
"This silence means either a very powerful heartbreak, or you really only love a kruge."
"What if I really never loved anyone? What if I don't believe in love?" he whispered, looking up at you. You sneaked up to him so that you were standing in front of him. Water trickled down your hair and along your neck to the hand you held out to him. You opened your hand, handing him a small shell.
"The world is too cruel for such beliefs, Kaz. If we don't believe in love, why should we get out of bed at all? Why do we accumulate all these riches and try to survive each day?" Kaz didn't know the answer. Not one that would allow him to avoid the uncomfortable subject of his feelings for you.
He took the shell from you and, being careful not to break it, put it in his pouch. Along with the other little things you fished out of the water.
Your eyes met. You stared into the other's eyes for a moment, lost in your own dreams, which were not too different from each other... Yet neither of you had the courage to admit them out loud and risk everything you had been so carefully building between yourselves. Even if your hearts burned for more.
So he sat with you in silence, watching you play with the water and analysing what you told him. What was the reason for his existence?
Kaz from a year ago would have answered quickly and without thinking. Revenge. But now that he was looking at you, he wasn't so sure about his answer… or at least it was closer to something much different than his desire for revenge.
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh It's your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in And I'm tired of being so exhausted
He sat behind his desk, involuntarily reminiscing about the day it all began.
The day he almost lost you. The day you almost died in his arms. The day you told him something he secretly wanted to hear but wasn't prepared for. The day he will curse forever.
This was your first assignment after returning from Ravka and the whole sun summoner thing. A childish, simple burglary. Something to warm up his crows—a return to the reality of Ketterdam without queens and kings and politics.
And so it was. You filled your pockets with valuables and were about to leave when one of the guards spotted you. They were much better armed than you (it was supposed to be a simple robbery with no witnesses and no blood spilled, so you only had daggers and knives "just in case") and strangely familiar with all the secret passages in the small mansion.
Even though you found yourself in a terrible situation, you managed to leave the property. You laid out in the finish as you and Kaz ran towards the club. One of the guards shot at you and hit you. Very accurate, almost piercing your heart with a bullet.
Kaz stared dazedly as you screamed in pain as you clutched your chest and tumbled onto the muddy, cobbled road. He reacted faster than he thought, throwing the dagger at the man who shot you and killing him instantly. Inej would have praised him for such a throw.
But that effective kill didn't matter to him now. He ran over to you in a panic and kneeled beside you, tugging at the fabric of your shirt. He hissed as he saw the blood pouring down your skin.
"Kaz..." you groaned, looking at him terrified. Kaz ripped off a piece of his shirt and wrapped it tightly around your waist, trying to stop the gushing blood. "Cold." you mumbled, shivering in his arms. Brekker didn't even notice as he placed you in his lap; he was too busy to stop the bleeding until he found bloody Zenik. Where was she when he really fucking needed her?
"Shhh…. I know. Just try to hold on a little longer, okay? Nina and Jes will be here soon." he tried to calm you down by running his hand through your sweat-soaked hair. He rocked you back and forth, not knowing who he was trying to reassure—you or himself.
"We both know they won't make it on time."
"If you're wasting your energy talking, at least say something useful instead of talking nonsense, tidemaker." he growled at you, tightening his grip on you. "You're not getting away from me that fast. I didn't invest so much in you to make you leave before…" Until I tell you how much you mean to me... "Until we fill our vault with tonnes of Kruge."
"I could have predicted that even on my deathbed you'd be talking about the fucking Kruges." you laughed, coughing up some blood, which didn't calm his already madly beating heart. Where is that damn Zenik?
"Die in my arms and I promise I'll go back to hell for you. The devil can wait for you - I signed a pact with you first." you suddenly became serious, squeezing his gloved hand tighter and staring into his eyes as if they were the only stars in your dark sky.
"Kaz… I… I have to tell you…"
"Shut up, Y/L/N. You're not dying today." he snarled a warning, squeezing you so hard that he was sure to leave bruises on your arms. Panic rose in him as he felt your body slowly go limp, your breaths becoming less and less frequent.
"Kaz… I love you." you whispered, making him freeze in a daze. You only said those words in his wildest dreams. He had secretly dreamed of it many times, but certainly not like this. Not while your soul was slowly escaping from this cruel world unworthy of you.
He doesn't remember exactly when Nina came running, or how Jesper took you out of his arms, or how he kept up with Jesper's frantic pace as he ran with you in his arms.
But he surely was shaking all the way to the Crow Club. He only breathed a few hours after Nina announced to everyone that you would live. Then he left, without even entering your room to make sure Zenik's words were true, and locked himself in his office.
Tears began to fall from his eyes as he leaned against the door.
He could have lost you. Forever. Another person close to him.
His dreams would be tormented by the sight of your bloody corpse in some dirty alley. Again, he felt like that helpless little boy who had lost his brother. He found himself with Jordie THERE again.
Kaz couldn't go through all of it again. He wouldn't get up after your death. And there was only one thing he could do...
Fuck it all.
He needed you.
He was too exhausted to pretend any longer.
He was Kaz Brekker. He didn't need a reason. But his slowly dying heart without you seemed to be enough of an excuse to see you. Even if you're going to completely break it. Even the cold Bastard from the Barrel saw it as a good deal.
"JESPER!" he shouted, jumping out of his chair with his cane in hand.
"Yes?" his friend was at his side faster than ever.
"Tell the others to pack up. We're leaving in an hour." he muttered, taking out his travel bag from the wardrobe. Even without turning around, he knew a big smile had formed on Jesper's face.
We're going to get my girl back.
"About the damn time, Kaz." he patted him on the back and ran out of his office, telling the other crows the good news.
Your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in Even though I'm nothing to you now Even though I'm nothing to you now
Kaz had been afraid of a few things in his life, but walking through the threshold of your new apartment seemed to be the most terrible of all his fears.
His crows obeyed him without objection for the first time in their lives and stayed at the hotel. He came here. On trembling legs and a rapidly beating heart. With his soul on his shoulder, ready to sacrifice and do anything to get you back. And if you didn't change your mind, it would be with a mind ready to carve your image into his memory so he could enjoy seeing you one last time in his miserable life.
Before he could change his mind, he knocked on the door.
He waited patiently, hearing footsteps approaching. He held his breath as the key turned in the lock.
But you weren't the one who opened the door for him.
"What?" a well-built, dark-haired man stood in the doorway.
Kaz began to compare himself to him, concluding that, when it came to appearance, he was superior to him in everything. He didn't stand a chance against someone like that for your heart. Doubts began to flood back into him. What if Nina was right?
"Are you going to stand here for half a day or..."
"Jackson!" your voice from the depths of the apartment shook Kaz. It froze him completely, irritating the man in front of him even more. "I need your help here, you big fool. What are you doing?" a moment later, you were standing in the vestibule. Your eyes met. Kaz shivered under your gaze, cursing himself for how quickly he fell under your spell as he stood there completely dazed.
"Y/N." your name came out of his mouth reverently, like a prayer, like a song long forgotten by a wanderer. You looked exactly the same as you did a few months ago. Except for the faint shadows under his eyes, which Kaz considered his greatest enemies.
"Kaz."
"Jackson. Hello there." the man waved at him, stepping between you. Jackson looked at you, worried. Kaz felt both anger welling up in him, a feeling of envy at how close you were with this strange guy, but also relief that you had someone close to take care of you. Not that you couldn't overcome the worst hell alone. He just felt relieved that you didn't have to. "Let him in, or should I kick his ass, wave?"
Wave? Did you two have nicknames for each other?
"It's all right. You can leave us." you said as you walked past him to face Kaz. The man behind you sighed, shaking his head.
"I hope you know what you're doing."
It might as well have been directed at Kaz. For the first time in his whole new Dirtyhands' life, he didn't have a plan, an emergency exit, or another backup plan. But now he was standing in front of you, staring at you helplessly as he absorbed your form. And that damn sea smell in your hair...
"Kaz."
"Y/N." he said as he came back down to earth. He took a small, calming breath. "How are you?"
"Really? Are you here just to ask how I'm doing?" she asked incredulously, folding her arms.
Kaz wrinkled his nose at your dry, angry tone. As he could see, it would be even more difficult than he thought. He stood in front of you, twirling his cane nervously in his hands.
"I'm here for a completely different reason, but I couldn't… I couldn't not come and see you." he admitted turning his gaze back to you after lowering his head in embarrassment.
"I'm alright. My brother and I are having a great time."
"Brother?" he asked. Relief and joy washed over him. Nor could he help himself to this naive hope, which began to warm his cold heart.
"Yes... Jackson. Who did you think he was?" he did not answer. You could have guessed. He knew you saw the flicker of jealousy in his eyes after that strange man called you a wave. You were his tidemaker, his wave, his sea, and all the fucking things. For a moment, he forgot that he was the one who had deprived himself of the right to claim against you. "You saw me, you asked how I was, so you can go now. Goodbye, Kaz." you were about to close the door on him, but at the last moment he put his cane between them, preventing you from doing so. You opened your door again, giving him a questioning look.
"Come back with me." he whispered, defeated. He couldn't let you go. Not again, not after there was still the slightest chance you might still want him.
"What?" you whispered softly, pretty sure you misheard him.
"There's no other reason why I'm here... I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I can't think or function like a normal person without you next to me. I'm one step away from daydreaming about you, hallucinating, and being insane that you're still by my side, so please... I'm begging you to come back to me. I know I don't deserve you and that I hurt you. You have every right to kick me out, but please, Y/N, just come home."
"What exactly am I supposed to come back to, Kaz? A cold, surly boss who is afraid of his feelings? Who doesn't hesitate to hurt me to protect his heart?"
"I'm not... I'm not good at this. Feelings. I... I don't know what it's like to love, but I know that when I'm with you... when I'm with you, nothing else matters. Not Ketterdam, not power, not Kruge, not wealth, not profit—nothing has ever been on my pedestal. Only you. Always you. And maybe I'm terrified of it, but now I know that I'd rather fight my own demons for you than let you go. I will try my best. If you still want me." he stared at you with undisguised hope in his eyes, only now realising how close he had come to you during your conversation. He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek uncertainly. "I love you, Y/N... even if I'm nothing to you now." he murmured, risking everything and resting his forehead against yours with a sigh.
There must be something in the water Cause everyday it's getting colder And if only I could hold you You'd keep my head from going under
He inhaled your scent with his eyes closed, waiting for your move. Hope grew with him every second you continued to let him be so close to you.
"You're an idiot, Kaz Brekker." he didn't contradict or argue with you. He was a complete idiot, pushing you away and begging you to come back, all the while acting like a love-crazy fool… however, he wouldn't have it any other way if it meant you taking your place in his office again. If someday he could hold you in his arms… "You have lucky you're my idiot. With all of your bruises, scars, and everything else." you promised, hugging him tighter. You pulled away from him with serious eyes, making Kaz swallow. "But if you do that shit again, forget I'm coming back to you. Also, we need to seriously work on your communication, Brekker. Do you know how long I've had to struggle here with that other idiot who claims to be my brother?"
"I can hear all of it!" you sighed at your brother's grumbling and gave Kaz a meaningful look. Brekker smiled slightly, causing a matching goofy smirk to appear on your face.
"See? But seriously, I'm not kidding. Last chance, Kaz."
"A deal is a deal. You're never going anywhere without me again."
"A red flag!" your brother coughed from the kitchen. You rolled your eyes, grabbing the edge of Kaz's coat sleeve.
"Shut up, Jackson. I'm leaving, I'll be back in an hour! Try not to burn down the apartment, spitfire."
You didn't wait for his answer as you slammed the door behind you and stepped out with Kaz into the street. Brekker led you towards the hotel where the other crows were staying. His hand in yours, which did not escape your notice. You turned your head towards him, giving him a confused look, which made him smile slightly, shifting his gaze to the port and the sea.
At one point, he noticed that one of the waves "attacked" a trader, washing him over. He cursed so loudly that you could hear him even from this distance. Kaz shifted his gaze to you, immediately noticing the sly smirk on your face. Suddenly, the wallet fell from the sky right into your waiting hand, along with droplets of salty, cool water.
He chuckled, shaking his head in amusement as he pulled you closer to him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. A self-satisfied smirk formed on his face after seeing your blush.
One day, he will be able to touch you without his gloves. Hold in your arms without layers of clothes on. He will do it. No matter how long it takes him to get rid of the greatest demon of his past. But something told him that you'd keep his head from going under the water again. His queen of waves. His crow. His anchor. And he will make sure that he holds you in his arms forever. 
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niningtori · 1 month
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to know him is to love him, and i do | chapter one: do you not love me? like at all?
pairing(s): choi beomgyu x you, kang taehyun x you
summary: you love beomgyu more than anything. you just wish he loved you, too. or you finally break up with beomgyu and move on, but as for him? maybe he's starting to realize too little too late.
genre: romance, angst, angst with a happy ending (?)
word count: 2.1k
notes: hi friends! ... r u mad at me? be honest (*´ェ`*) i'm sorry i've been gone for so long, but i've had the worst writer's block with my other story. i decided to just post this because i couldn't get the idea of toxic!beomgyu out of my head. don't worry, he will suffer. anyway, i hope you like it!! if not, please don't hurt my feelings i beg.
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"i told you it was nothing. why are you freaking out?"
"she was fucking you with her eyes, beomgyu!" you exclaim in frustration.
"and that's my fault how?"
"it's not your fault, but i'm sick of you entertaining women, let alone your actual fucking ex, while i'm standing right next to you!" his ex is just another fish in the barrel, or at least that's what he says, but the thought that they were intimate together at one point still makes you feel sick. truthfully, your boyfriend is handsome, so you've spent the better part of the past 10 months warding off the women who circle him like vultures. you wouldn't mind as much as you do if he seemed at all interested in helping you do so, especially when faced with his ex that you suspect he still has feelings for, but he does not. quite the opposite, actually. it's like he thrives off of the attention and god it hurts.
"i'm not entertaining anybody. i told her i have a girlfriend now," he, well, you would say argues, but it's said so nonchalantly it doesn't warrant the term.
"a girlfriend you proceeded to ignore while she hung off of your shoulders and laughed all night! i just don't understand how you don't understand how much it hurts my feelings. i'm a human too! how would you feel if my ex, who was very clearly interested in me, hung around me right in front of you?" and it's like you're explaining empathy to a child.
"me? i wouldn't give a fuck because it's not that serious," he replies with a slightly irritated shake of his head.
it's always like this. always. you're always the one who cares more between the two of you. you were the one who asked him out in the first place. you were the one who initiated your first kiss. your first fight. hell, even your first reconciliation. you're not stupid, you know he doesn't feel quite the same way you do, but he has to feel something, right? otherwise, why would he say yes to you when he's rejected so many other women? your brain hurts trying to wrap your head around it all.
"you're missing the point! if you were me, you would—" you begin frustratedly, but you cut yourself off. "you know what? i don't even have the energy to explain this to you. i don't understand why i have to explain basic human emotion to you and i really don't understand why i have to beg and plead for you to care about how i feel!" you all but shriek.
"you don't have to do shit, just leave if you're that fucking unhappy," he spits out angrily, which is the first real emotion — besides mild annoyance — you've seen out of him this entire conversation. he gets impatient when you're like this, which usually results in you relenting, but not tonight. you're far too hurt to let go so easily.
"you're right! i am unhappy! i just — why don't you care that i'm unhappy? what can i do to make you give a fuck about me?" you have a brave face on but you can feel your eyes getting hot and your voice trembling ever so slightly.
"you could try not being so damn needy, maybe that'd help."
your eyes redden even further and your lips unintentionally twist themselves into a sour frown. you hate it when he calls you needy because you do need a lot from him, it feels like. his time. his care. his attention and affection. yet you never seem to get it.
"do you not love me? like at all?" you ask. all of the venom in your tone has been sucked out mercilessly and you sound more helpless than angry.
"do you not realize how fucking crazy you sound?" he scoffs as if he can't fathom why you'd be upset. as if he's not watching you break down in real time.
"why won't you give me a straight answer?" you question, voice softer than it was before.
he does nothing but scowl and you know beomgyu well enough to know that he's avoiding your question. that's enough of an answer as it stands, really. he doesn't care. never has. probably never will.
"then why'd you even say yes to dating me?" you truly don't understand. you thought you were different. you thought he saw something in you he didn't see in his harem of other suitors, and trust that there were many.
"i dunno. i was just bored, i guess," he answers with a shrug and your world as you know it collapses. the man you love sees you as nothing more than a way to kill time. he's picking you up right now just to toss you away when the next shiny toy presents itself. and so far, you've let him drag you around because you love him. that's how much you love him. but looking at him now, at how unbothered he is, you wonder if you've even got anything left to give.
"i really do love you," you manage to squeeze out with a bitter smile. your poor heart is on display for the naked eye to see and it seems like he really couldn't care less, but that won't stop you from asking. "does that mean anything at all to you?"
"well, i'm sorry you feel that way," he says simply, "but that's not my fucking problem."
your heart sinks to your stomach and you feel like you're going to throw up. in this moment, as you watch the love of your life dismiss you like you're a fucking dog begging for scraps of food, you feel an overwhelming sense of clarity as you realize he doesn't love you. he doesn't even like you. he probably hates you, actually. like a mental montage, every moment in which he showed you that exact sentiment plays all at once in your head.
all those times you let him choose everything from movies to dinner because the idea of a compromise was inconceivable. all of those occasions, special and otherwise, where you were supposed to go out on a date, but he'd bail without a word and you'd forgive him with no apology. when you'd offer him your share of dessert because he ate all of his and you knew he wanted more, and he'd take it without so much as a thank you. how you'd sit and listen to him tell stories about how amazing his friends were, but he'd never even ask about your day. when those same friends would jokingly call you the perfect girlfriend and you thought it was an indication of how good your relationship was, but in reality, it was a way to tease him because the thought of actually being with you was so abhorrent and ridiculous that it must be a joke. all those times you told him you loved him and he'd just smile and kiss you deeper. memories like these flood your brain with a vengeance so cruel it makes your head ache, and in a way, you realize it's ridiculous to be surprised when there was so much proof of his feelings in the first place.
"oh. okay," you say with what you hope is a soft and unbothered laugh, but comes out more as a choked one. "i guess there's nothing left to say. i'll get my shit and go."
you hesitate for a few excruciatingly awkward moments before collecting yourself enough to start gathering your things, which are scattered haphazardly around his apartment from his bedroom to his bathroom. it's like a walk of shame, almost, and you feel even shittier when he plops down on the couch with a long suffering sigh as he begins to massage the bridge of his nose. you feel so small in this moment — like a petulant child who just got done throwing an unsuccessful tantrum — and you're now soaking in the sobering aftermath and sitting with the thought that he just watched you have a meltdown like he was watching a monkey putting on a show. how much more is he going to humiliate you? enough is enough, you think, so before you can actually finish collecting all of your belongings, you're scurrying out of the apartment. before you go, you glance back at him one last time. "beomgyu?" you ask tentatively, tears clouding your eyes.
"yeah?" he replies with a sigh. this is it, you think.
"i don't want to see you ever again," you say firmly. before he can reply, if he ever intended to in the first place, you slam the door.
-
there's a lot to love about beomgyu. for one, he's handsome, which is obvious, but he has a certain allure you could never help but be drawn in by. he's always been a charming man, but even more so when he's talking to a woman he's interested in. as interested as he could be, that is. he's funny and comically pompous when he wants to be, but still somehow down to earth despite it all.
he's been described as a mood-maker, and while he grew to resent that term, you thought it was at least partially true, if only in the context of your relationship. when he's sad, you're devastated. when he's happy, you're over the fucking moon. his feelings are your whole world. or were, you guess, since all that's over now.
it wasn't all bad all the time, you think. there were times where you thought he really might reciprocate even a fraction of what you felt for him, and most of the time, that was enough. you could work with that. love looks different for everyone, you would reason. maybe he just had a funny way of showing it.
there were days where you'd laugh together and end the night lying in each other's arms while you'd cradle him like he was the most precious thing in the whole world because, to you, he really was. he was normally so boisterous when with his friends, but while he would never admit it to anyone else, he'd tell you about some of his insecurities while you gently combed your fingers through his long, silky hair. he'd speak of regrets and longing for people to take him more seriously. he'd never say it, but he wanted people to see you like you saw him. the real him. you'd let him cry while your hands cupped his cheeks and you'd shush him while he fiddled mindlessly with your hair like a child. you'd kiss his the tip of his reddened nose until he laughed instead of cried. times like those, you'd really think you were someone special to him. but now you realize you were wrong. you were just an outlet for him, and anyone willing to be an emotional dumping ground would do the trick too.
after a few weeks of moping, your sadness has begun to morph into anger and resentment. you spent nearly a year of your life trying to make an emotionally stunted man care about you, and that's not even counting the years of pining over him before you finally worked up the courage to ask him out. it was difficult to see it in the moment, but after being away from him for so long, it's crystal clear that he was honestly just an asshole who didn't really like you. nothing more, nothing less. maybe he'd find someone to change for someday, maybe he'd even work things out with his ex, but for whatever reason, you weren't her. that's just the way it goes, you guess. what really bothers you are the "what if's" of the situation. what if you were prettier, or smarter, or kinder. would he have seen you for who you really are? would he have grown to appreciate you if you had given him more to appreciate?
either way, there's no use crying over spilled milk now. you won't be going back to him any time soon and he certainly won't come crawling back to you. you'll continue to think of him less and less until your time together fades into a distant (and unpleasant) memory. you smile at the thought.
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animehideout · 1 month
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LOVE IS THE MOST TWISTED CURSE OF THEM ALL
PART 11
Check out part 12 here
Gojo Satoru X Fem! Reader
warnings ⚠️: not proofread / abuse / SA just something vague not detailed.
a/n : I truly apologize for this late update, I was really unmotivated to rewrite it and I was struggling to find inspiration again, I'm sorry if this part didn't live up to your expectations but I read hope you like it though, I tried to make it longer but I ran out of ideas 🥹.
Music Suggestion 🎧
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Satoru stood tall, alone in the balcony, his gaze fixated on the sky, lost in the depth if his own thoughts. The weight of regret hung heavy upon his shoulders, a burden he could no longer bear.
His mind played your last fight that night on loop, making him hate himself even more. He remembered his harsh words, actions and disrespect towards you. Forcefully shutting his eyes to make those images and voices that's been haunting him go away.
Unwelcomed thoughts yet impossible to ignore. Blaming himself over and over again for what happened to you, torturing himself to madness.
"It's my fucking fault" he muttered,
In all that darkness, the image of your face in his mind was the only source of light. The delicate curve of your smile whenever you were around your students etched in his memory. He remembered the way you slept, features softened by the gentle embrace of your slumber, your passion for teaching and your daily excitement to show your students a new weapon and new technique.
You were a vision of peace amidst the chaos he was living. He realized then how life became emptier after your disappearance, the void your absence had left in every bit of his life. He realized how much he fell for you, he realized that hatred was deeply buried by the birth of his love for you.
With a heavy heart, he bowed his head, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. For three days, his eyes wide open, unable to sleep without you under the same roof as him, cuddling a piece of your clothing every single night to take into your scent, to pretend that you were there, next to him.
Clutching his fists, his knuckles turned white , whispering a plea for forgiveness, a forgiveness he might never receive.
"I'm sorry Y/n.."
. ..
"Satoru?"
"Y-yaga sensei?" said Gojo wiping his tears away,
"Can I join you?"
"Y-yeah sure"
"What's on your mind? Still blaming yourself?"
"Do I have anything else to do except blaming myself?"
"I'm sorry for your loss Satoru" said Principal Yaga apologetically,
"I didn't lose her, she's still out there, somewhere! I know it, I'm sure of it, I can feel it"
"Pain is eating you up Satoru, you know you should let go already–"
"Let go? Easier said than done. How can all of you let go so fast as if she never existed?" he said in annoyance
"The higher ups orders, to not distract the sorcerers' focus from their daily tasks"
"Bullshit, –"
"Satoru I understand your pain"
"No you don't, none of you does! I did this to her, I built the wall between both of us brick by brick till it collapsed on both of us, she got abducted by Toji and here I am suffering everyday.. I just wish I can turn back time and undo the damage I had done"
"Is this because of regret or something else?" asked Principal Yaga
Gojo looked down, not sure of what to say, mastering the courage he finally spoke,
"I– I love her, sensei! I love Y/n so much, I just hope it's not too late to realize this because I really want to fix everything–"
Yaga sensei looked at Gojo with a reassuring yet sad smile, deep down, everyone accepted that you died except Gojo., and he didn't want him to hang on fake hope.
"Satoru–"
"I know what you're about to say, but I won't let go, I won't give up even if the higher ups chain me down.... I thought she was a curse when we got married but I think I am her curse, I was her curse while she was my blessing–"
"I hope you're right Satoru, I hope she's still out there as you said, I hope you get a second chance to be a real family"
...
*In Mei Mei's room*
"Look at this" said Maki her eyebrows frowning in confusion,
"Who's that in the picture?" asked Nobara as confused as Maki,
Both of them examined the photograph, their eyes flickered between the picture and each other in silence. In the picture a woman smiled serenely as she cradled a baby in her embrace.
Maki shrugged equally perplexed,
"I have no idea, do you think it's a family member?"
Their senses were on high alert as they scanned every corner of her room for any sign of wrongdoing, something out of the ordinary. They found that picture tucked under her bed after they flipped the mattress while searching for anything suspicious.
"And this stack of money? Didn't know she's got all of this cash here" added Nobara.
"And this box as well"
Intrigued, they opened it. As they lifted the lid of the box, a firegun revealed itself, its metallic surface gleaming ominously in the dim light.
"A g-gun?" started Nobara as she looked at Maki in shock, "what would she use it for?"
"Definitely not hers, why would a sorcerer with a jujutsu technique depend on a gun" she pointed out.
"Good point, so if its not hers then to whom does it belong to?" asked Nobara
"There's only one way to figure it out, but now let's take the gun, the damn photograph and get out of here" said Maki as she put he mattress in its place again.
.....
"GOJO-SENSEI" called Nobara out as she caught a glimpse of Gojo in the balcony "Sensei you need to see this"
"Hm? Nobara? Maki?"
"Gojo" said Maki as she saw Gojo with principal Yaga in the balcony "We found something–"
but before she could finish her sentence,
"Any news?" interrupted Mei Mei as she stepped in the balcony out of nowhere..
Maki and Nobara exchanged quick nervous glances, their eyes darting between each other as they attempt to maintain composure. Hiding what they took from her room behind their backs. Their expressions strain with the effort to appear nonchalant, but a subtle tension lingers in the air. Lips pressed into strained smiles,
"Nah nothing new" said Maki while Nobara nodded in agreement.
"Hm you sure about that? I thought I heard you said you found something, is it about Y/n? " asked Mei raising her eyebrows,
"What if we did? Is it really your concern?" exclaimed Maki offensively, only to get elbowed softly by Nobara,
"We found nothing important Mei Mei sensei, of course if we did we'd tell you" exclaimed Nobara, chuckling awkwardly.
"Oh alright then girls," she said luckily not giving too much important to the girls, then paused and drifted her gaze towards Gojo, "how are you holding up Gojo? I hope you're in the process of moving on" she added
Gojo's eyes burned holes in her soul, but he tried to remain calm,
"I'm fine"
"That's what all of us would like to hear, glad you let go" she said and then excused herself to go to her room,
Then moment she left, Maki ran towards Gojo and Yaga, showing them what they found,
"We found these–"
"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THESE FROM?" snapped Gojo unexpectedly, his eyes widened as he snatched the gun and photograph form Maki's hands,
"Damn Satoru what's got into you, relax!" exclaimed Yaga-sensei,
"W-we.." stuttered Nobara
"How did you get these? they were well hidden"
"Well hidden under Mei Mei's bed?" asked Maki in confusion
"What? what did you just say?" said Gojo and Yaga in union
"We found these under Mei Mei's bed, the gun hidden in a box , tucked beside that photograph and a pile of cash, do you possibly know to whom it belongs?"
"These belong to Toji Zenin" said Satoru
Maki and Nobara froze in place, trying to process what Gojo just said,
"T-toji?" they said in disbelief,
"This gun was used by Toji to murder Riko Amanai, and these in the picture are Megumi and his mother–" explained Yaga sensei
"It can only be one thing" expressed Gojo through gritted teeth, "She must be behind it" he added and started walking away, thinking about confronting her,
"GOJO STOP!" yelled Yaga sensei, holding Gojo in place, "What's happened to your common sense? vanished?"
"We can't assume anything now sensei!" said Nobara
"So all of this isn't enough to assume that she's got some dirty work with Toji Zenin going on behind our backs?" said Gojo aggressively
"Okay you're right, it is suspicious but we need a plan! a proper plan, do you think she'll admit it if you confront her? she'll find a lie and you'll never find the truth, not out of her! We need to know more about her first" explained Maki
"Know what?" asked Gojo impatiently
"I mean, Toji has nothing right? not even a house, do you think if he'd take Y/n to a hotel room after abducting her? Mei Mei must have provided a place for him" she added
"So if we can't ask her, how would we know?" asked Nobara,
"We ask her best friend" Suggest Maki shrugging,
....
"Is it ringing?" asked Yaga sensei,
"Yeah shh it is" said Gojo waiting for her to pick up the phone, "–Oh hello" he said through the phone
"Gojo? Hi what's up calling me late at night, is everything okay?"
"Utahime, yeah everything is fine, we just need you here, if it's possible can you make here in one hour at least?"
"Well I can, but is it an emergency?"
"Um it's– it's about Mei Mei, we're preparing a party for her and we need your help"
"A party? It's not even her birthday yet–"
"It's for her service, it's a habit here in Jujutsu High to hold a party for a teacher to honor them, and this time it's Mei Mei, she did a lot for us and for the school, besides it's the higher ups orders so..."
"Oh the higher ups? sure then I'll be there in an hour"
"Don't tell Mei Mei that you're coming though, it must remain a surprise, now we don't wanna spoil it"
"So should be meet outside the school?"
"Sure yeah, you can come to my house?!"
"Oh alright then, I'll be there"
With that they hung up the phone,
"She'll be here in one hour, I hope we can get her to talk"
"I hope she's not part of Mei Mei's plan though" Said Nobara.
"Don't you think we must tell the others? Maybe we need some backup?" suggested Maki
"Yeah, but some of them need to stay here to keep an eye on Mei Mei" said principal Yaga
"Alright, I'll go and tell them then,"
*Time skip, at Gojo's house*
They sat there, Gojo, Nanami, Maki and Megumi waiting for Utahime's arrival.
"You've got a nice and big house" pointed Maki
"Yeah but never a happy house" mumbled Gojo to himself,
"Do you think she'll tell us more about her?" asked Megumi and suddenly the bell rang,
"I guess we'll find out now!" said Nanami,
...
"So Utahime, I hope you corporate!" started Gojo not wasting any precious second,
"Corporate? you make it sound like if we're discussing business, and not preparing for a surprise party! it's a p-party right?"
she chuckled nervously,
"Not really! you need to tell us more about Mei Mei, some information that we don't know about"
"wait? what?" she asked nervously
"Is she meeting someone? did she tell you about something?"
"Gojo wait! why are you asking about this? I mean she lives there in the school dorms as well, so I guess you know more than I do"
"I don't think so, she's you're best friend she must have told you something about her plan?" said Maki
"Plan? what plan?"
"Ah come on Utahime dont play dumb"
"No for real! what plan, I thought you had a plan with her , Gojo to push Y/n away!"
"What? NO. I'm talking about her dirty plan with Toji"
"Toji? wait what's going on?" she said truly confused
"STOP LYING AND ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION, IF YOU'RE PART OF HER DIRTY GAME I'LL END BOTH OF YOU" exclaimed Gojo angrily, making Utahime step back, growing more and more impatient.
"Hey hey Gojo calm down, what's wrong with you? I understand you're frustrated but that's not the right way to find answers!" said Maki and the others nodded in agreement,
"Megumi please take him to the balcony while me and Maki handle this, he needs to calm down" suggest Nanami,
Megumi did as he said and took Gojo to get some fresh night air,
"Geez, you really developed anger issues, you were more laid back even in risky situations Gojo" started Megumi
"Not anymore, people change and I've changed"
"Y/n sensei is dear to all of us, so I am eager too to know where she is, and I truly understand how you feel"
"No Gumi, you don't, you don't understand because I'm not just sad, I'm feeling extremely guilty, because it's my damn fault"
"I'm feeling guilty too" said Megumi lowering his head,
"Hm? what for ? you're pretty close to Y/n and you're good friends not only a student and his teacher–"
"It's my father, he's the one who abducted her and only God knows what he's doing to her, I don't wanna even think about it. Is there any greater shame than this?" he said his voice cracking,
"Hey Megumi! look at me, your father's actions has nothing to do with you, he's the one who abducted her not you! you've always been nice and kind to Y/n. Sometimes family does things that we are ashamed of and completely in opposition of it but it doesn't mean we're like them just because we're related by blood, you are what you're truly in here" he said and pointed at Megumi's heart "And I know well what's in there Megumi! I raised you and I've seen you grow up to be a loyal, strong and kind hearted man! you're the complete opposite of your father so don't ever compare yourself to him again" said Gojo with a smile,
"If it's his fault, then why are you blaming yourself Gojo?"
"Because I'm the reason she left that night! I've said too many hurtful words, no one can handle to hear, no one deserves to hear but I was too agitated, too overwhelmed by my mixed feelings, trying to push her away from me over and over again–"
"Why? why'd you push her away from you? couldn't you have tried at least? maybe after what you've been through you were destined to finally find happiness with her! "
"My heart was a messy place to make it a comfortable place for her!"
"Was? so what changed now?"
"I want to try to make it comfortable for both of us, I want t-t to– nevermind! I have to find her, I have to make it up for her"
"I understand and we will find her, Y/n is strong I'm sure she's safe wherever she is" reassured Megumi, trying to lift Gojo's spirit again,
....
"So Utahime, we really need you to corporate so you better put that bestie thing with Mei Mei aside cuz this is a life or death matter!" begun Maki,
"D-death?"
"Toji escaped and we think that Mei Mei had a hand in this" added Nanami
"No way! Why would Mei Mei do that? I mean you know what Toji had done to the Jujutsu world!"
"We know, but we know that when people are full of hate are full of unexpected things!"
"Nanami what's wrong? what happened?"
"It's Y/n! Toji abducted her, and we found Toji's gun under Mei Mei's bed, even though it was well hidden.. do you still think she's got nothing to do with that?"
Her eyes wide open in shock and disbelief, her mouth hanging open, sad expressions drawn on her face,
"W-what? I didn't know I swear to God! I've – I've never thought it will go that way, I've never thought she could fall this far" she expressed her feelings, her heart crushing, she's never expected her long time best friend would do or be part of such thing, to betray the Jujutsu community.
"That's why we need your help! You know how important Y/n is to our world! we can't lose her" said Nanami "So please if you know anything, any place she owns, any small details tell us, we really need to know"
With a deep breath, she started thinking, trying to remember if Mei Mei told her anything,
"I remember she bought a house! but that was weeks ago!!"
"A house?"
"Yeah, she said she might settle in Tokyo if things went well between her and Gojo–"
"She's truly delusion" interrupted Maki rolling her eyes,
"Where is this house?" asked Nanami
"I'll take you there" said Utahime determined to help.
Despite being best friends with Mei Mei, her morals were more important! she's too loyal to the Jujutsu World and committed to the greater good, she knows about the prophecy and she can't afford to witness another loss on the Jujutsu community part.
"I'll go and tell Gojo and Megumi then– maybe Y/n is there"
.......
[ Kill her, and I'll bring your cash tomorrow when I see her lifeless body ]
Read Toji through the message that he received,
"See! I'm ordered to kill you now! How much trouble did you cause her for her to free me from the prison just to torture you and kill you" he said with a smirk
"F-fuck you and fuck her" you said through gritted teeth as you were thrown on the floor, your body hurting from the chains that were tied around your wrists and feet.
your lips and nose bleeding after hours of tortures,
"And you still got that attitude, after being beaten up? If I were you I wouldn't act so brave.."
"You'll never be me Toji! we're both considered inferior in the Jujutsu world but I learned how to be the real me and not what others want me to be, I didn't let others to order me around and kill people–"
"Are you trying to save yourself? and convince me to not kill you"
"no, I know I can't be saved, not just now but for a long time ago, but you know the funny thing is that we actually have something else in common beside being monkeys" you joked offensively trying to get on his nerves, you're going to die anyway so why'd you not offend him, you were tired if being stepped on so why not talk back.
"what?" he said in anticipation as he kneeled down,
"Both our families are disappointed in us, I disappointed my parents and you disappointed your son, Megumi, nice kid he's nothing like you–"
"M-megumi?"
And you struck a sensitive nerve in him,
You started laughing when you saw his face dropped and his expressions changed, your stomach hurts whenever you laughed he probably had broken some of yours ribs.
The you paused,
"Do it Toji. Do what you were assigned for, no one will come to my rescue anyway, do it, kill me" you said in a serious tone,
"Change in plan, let me have my fun with you before I take the light out of your eyes"
"You still have time for fun? the dawn will break soon–"
"Oh I know princess, don't you worry about it, I know I can't delay the sunlight but I know how to make the night even more darker... and you were right, Megumi's probably disappointed in me but lemme tell you something–" he paused and leaned forward, his face a few inches away from yours "That's who I truly am, a beast that preys on the weak, and you are weak Y/n no matter how hard you try to come off as strong"
he said and he reached to take off your shirt,
Your heart beats quickened, you thought he'd torture you in another way, and not attempt to do something filthy to you,
"No -no! I'd rather die" you said trying your best to break free from his grasp, but his huge body got you pinned down,
"What? you're not a fan of big guys? or your pathetic ass is loyal to a husband who's never paid attention to your existence?" he said looking you deep in the eyes, his huge hands circling around your neck, posing pressure on it,
You couldn't deny the pain and disappointment you felt. You really hoped Gojo would appear and save you, you wished he cared for you. You couldn't deny that you wanted Gojo; your husband to be your first time and not with someone who would brutally kill you after taking what he wants.
You'd die even before he kills you.
"no don't " you whispered, loosing your voice as his grip around your neck tightened, making it hard to breathe.
....
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER"
All what you can feel is the weight of Toji's body being removed from on top of you.
Toji's body forcefully thrown on the ground, your blurry eyes trying to focus on the figure standing right in front of you, slowly approaching you,
"Damn baby what did he do to you?" he said softly, softly brushing his finger over your bleeding lip.
"S-satoru, y-you came!" you whispered, your vision darkening and ears ringing,
"Of course I'm here with you, Y/n! Y/N !!!!!no no Y/N WAKE UP" he yelled as he held you in his arms.
....
Your eyes slowly fluttered opened, your surroundings sharpening into details again, gulping with difficulty.
A serum attached to your vein,
"Sensei" said Yuji "Guys she's awake"
With that all of them circled around the bed you were laying on, their eyes look directly at you, greeting you with sincere smiles.
"How are you feeling?" asked Megumi.
You tried to leave the bed but they forced you to lay back. You looked around scanning the place, you were in the hospital, Shoko must have treated your wounds, everyone was there except your husband, Satoru.
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lixie-phoria · 9 months
Text
ੈ✩‧ ➛ best friend!hyunjin gets jealous of this new boy you've been talking a little too much about
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pairing : best friend!hyunjin x gn reader
prompt : hyunjin can't help but get jealous of the new boy you seem to be infatuated with lately, hating the ugly feeling that burned through his chest everytime you said his name. he wishes he had realized sooner that he had absolutely nothing to worry about, because this new boy was, in fact, only fictional.
genre : fluff, little bit of angst bc hyunjin is jealous :(
word count : 707 words
an : extremely self indulgent haha
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hyunjin was in love with you. everybody knew it; his friends knew, your friends knew, even the people in your university that he had never spoken to before knew about it. everyone seemed to know except for you.
but the boy could never confess. everytime he came close to, something always seemed to come in the way. this time it was another boy.
he first heard the name rindou when the two of you were out with a group of friends. he noticed how your phone's screen lit up and the girl sitting right beside you burst into a fit of giggles when she noticed your lockscreen. you switched off your phone before he could catch a glimpse of it himself, but he did hear the faint teasing of your friend. "i know you like rindou, but so much that he's already your lockscreen?"
hyunjin's heart dropped when he noticed the slight blush on your cheeks as you told her to shut up.
he was heartbroken. partly because you were best friends and you apparently didn't feel comfortable enough sharing about this new boy with him, and partly because here he had been pining over you for years and now you were suddenly interested in someone else?
hyunjin wanted to cry. what did rindou have that he did not? heck, he didn't even know who this boy was. he'd asked everyone around campus and there was no rindou who studied there. was it someone you met online? maybe on a dating app?
hyunjin's first impulse was to distance himself from you. it drove him mad, not seeing you for days and hearing the disappointment in your voice everytime he called off a plan.
but it was for the best, right? wrong. he couldn't have been more wrong.
the first time he saw you after an entire week was at a party, and his heart hurt when he saw the smile he loved so much take over your face when you saw him.
you rushed forward, throwing yourself in his arms. hyunjin wanted to wrap his own arms around you and breathe in your scent that he had missed so much and just never let you go. but he pulled away anyways, ignoring the hurt that flashed across your face.
"don't get too close. we don't want your boyfriend getting jealous, do we?"
he didn't meant to sound so crass, but it slipped out and there was nothing he could do about it as you blinked at him blankly. once. then twice.
"what?"
he scoffed. so first you kept rindou a secret from him and then you were going to play dumb? did you think hyunjin was that stupid?
"rindou. the guy who's your new lockscreen. aren't you with him?"
hyunjin was confused as your expression slowly morphed into a horror struck one.
"is that what you're salty about?" you asked incredulously.
"well, of course i'm a bit hurt you didn't tell me about him. i would be happy for you, you know, if you really liked him."
the poor boy was so confused when you burst into a fit of laughter, clutching at his arm for support.
"you mean that rindou?" was all you could manage between gasps as he stared at you with increasing confusion.
what was so funny?
"jinnie, no," you said, shaking your head. "rindou is a fictional character. he doesn't exist. he's from a manga i'm reading"
oh.
hyunjin felt heat rise up his face as he hastily freed his arm from your grasp, turning away from you so you wouldn't notice his increasingly embarrassed expression. rindou was fictional?
gods, hyunjin felt so stupid. all this for a boy who doesn't even exist?
"hyunjin, look at me."
he ignored you, letting out a huff as you tried to control the laughter that threatened to bubble out again.
"jinnie, please?"
"stop calling me that."
"but that's the only way you'll listen to me."
the two of you seemed to have forgotten the party raging around you.
"this is so embarrassing. please leave me alone."
"were you jealous?"
his silence spoke volumes and he heard you huff softly.
"jinnie, turn around, please?"
"so you can laugh at me more?"
"no, you dumbass, so i can kiss some sense into you."
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©lixie-phoria, 2023
🏷️ @foxinnie8 , @hamburgers101 , @starlostlaiba (send an ask to be added/removed from the taglist :))
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ddejavvu · 1 year
Note
Could you plz write abt Eddie x gf reader? The gist is Jason constantly picking on him + being cruel, but Ed never pays any mind + just responds in his Eddie fashion. But as soon as Jason says something about the reader, he defends her and goes ape shit on him. Sadly Ed loses the fight and comes home w/ a black eye and reader tries to figure out how he got it, but he doesnt have the heart to tell her what Jason said + tries to lie. Reader comforting Eddie would be nice to see for a change :'))
You don't bother turning when you hear the door to Eddie's trailer open, knowing you'll be jammed against the counter in a hug faster than you can. But when you don't feel Eddie's face smashed into your own you frown, spinning on your heel to see what the hold up is.
It's a black eye. And a split lip. And a mysterious trickle of blood down his cheek. There's a smattering of scrapes and rouge at his knuckles, too, and he's standing off-kilter. Your boy is beaten.
"Eddie!" You shriek loudly in alarm. You realize too late that he's got a headache, only realizing when he winces and a battered hand shoots up to cover his left ear.
"I- I'm sorry," You hastily babble, rushing to his side, "What happened? Who- who did this, are you okay?"
"I'll be fine," He assures you, though the nod of his head is wobbly, "I'm just gonna clean up in the bathroom, alright sweets?"
"No- no! Eddie," You rush to stop him, only slightly guilty to hinder progress in the name of information, "Please, just tell me what happened. I'll help you clean up, I- I just need to know!"
"It was Jason," Though he answers your question, he evades the underlying question after it with a sad smile, "'Should'a known one of these days he was gonna swing."
"I don't get it," You sniffle, moved to tears by Eddie's black-and-blue eye. You lead him into the trailer's bathroom, fumbling with disinfectant and a cotton ball, "He bothers you every day. He's never punched you before. What- what did he do? What was different?"
"Just felt like starting shit, I guess." Eddie shrugs, but his eyes are deep with concern. You bite the inside of your cheek, hating how defeated he looks as his eyelashes flutter shut for you to dab at the injury.
"I won't be mad at you, you know. If you were the first to swing. I- I'm not calling you a liar," You assure him when he goes stiff, "This just seems.. off."
"Yeah." He nods solemnly, eyes firmly shut even after you're done cleaning his cuts, "It- it was off. He just.. fuck, I know he was just saying it to get a rise out of me, I know he'd never say it to you or anything but I just couldn't let it slide. I didn't know his friends were gonna see us, I- I wouldn't have started anything if I knew I couldn't have finished it."
He rambles with the vigor of an excited child, all slurred words and hand gestures, though he's more like an accused in court. Your brain catches on one sentence and pulls the thread from the scene he'd woven you, and you fray it while you bandage his cut.
"To me? He'd never say it to me?"
His eyes scrunch even tighter shut, and you know he's realized his mistake.
"I didn't mean to say that," He grits his teeth, "Just- Just please pretend I didn't say that? I feel like I got threaded through a meat grinder," He huffs, rubbing at his good eye with a bloodied hand, "Do I get a deathbed wish for that?"
"You always say your deathbed wish is gonna be to buzz Steve's hair," You murmur, cupping his bandaged cheek as light as a feather, "Please tell me the truth, Eddie."
He sighs; you've got him.
"He said shit about you. He said- said you'd regret dating me. 'Said I'd drag you down until you were 'trailer trash' just like me and Wayne. I- God, I'm so scared of that, Y/N, I just.. I freaked out."
"I like your trailer," You hum after a tense moment of silence, prolonged eye contact between your sympathetic ones and his glossy ones.
He cracks a smile, but it doesn't reach his good eye.
"You're not dragging me down," You promise him, "You make me happy. I don't need to live in a penthouse to be successful, that comes from emotional fulfillment."
"Yeah? And you, uh, you think I fill you up?"
It's a joke; you're back in his comfort zone. He shoots you as much of a smirk as he can with one bad eye, and you bite your lip to stop from grinning too hard.
"You stuff me full," You gush, "I'm all filled up with ooey gooey, mushy gushy, sappy sweet love, Eddie, and every time you hug me it oozes out of me like slime."
"My slimy girl," He croons, laughter bubbling up in his chest even though you suspect it aches, "So sticky."
He yanks you in by your waist from where he's sitting on the toilet lid. He buries his face in your stomach and you're worried he'll aggravate his black eye, but he sighs in content.
"I know it was stupid," He sighs, nose prodding at your skin, "I just.. I don't like it when he sees through me like that. I always thought I kept everything pretty hidden, but I guess I'm afraid of what everyone else is. Ruining you."
You think he says it into your stomach so he doesn't have to look you in the eyes. You sigh, running a hand through his curls and cringing when one is caked in blood. His arms tighten around your waist at the contact, and you speak without planning ahead, a heartfelt ramble.
"You couldn't ruin me, Eddie. You make me happy, even if no one else wants to admit it. I don't care that you're still in senior year. I don't care that your uncle is your dad. I don't care that you live in a trailer. I don't care that you play dungeons and dragons. If I disliked any of those things I wouldn't be with you. You- you have to know how much I love you," You breathe shakily, tears gathering at the corners of your eyes, "Eddie, I have dreams about you. Just- mundane stuff, like vacuuming. Last night I had one where you were organizing your socks. And I woke up smiling. Our lives aren't boiled down to anything besides us, Eddie. I love you, and you love me, and that's why I'm happy."
Once you stop talking, shut your brain down from where it had been tipped on its side and gushing love, you realize your shirt is wet. He's shaking, shoulders trembling as he sobs into your stomach. When he looks up at you it's with a pathetic puppy-eyed pout, split lip wobbling.
"You dream about me," He wails, "I dream about you too! I dream about- about marrying you, about living together, trailer or no trailer. And- and I dream about falling asleep with you every night for the rest of my life," He chokes on his emotions, "I love you, sweetheart."
"I love you too, Eddie." You smile, watery as it curls over your face. He rushes to stand, nose bumping your own as he nuzzles his face against your skin. His shaky exhale washes over your face and smells like the blood caking his lips, but you let him press them to your cupid's bow without protest.
"I want to rearrange my socks now," He admits, a teary chuckle in his throat, "You can sit on the bed and watch. Be pretty, n'all that."
"I think you should rest," Your eyes are smiling just as much as your mouth is, sparkling with adoration, "But tomorrow can be sock day."
"Deal," He nods, one of his tears pressing into your own cheek and wetting your skin, "Tomorrow, and every day for the rest of our lives."
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gauloiseblue · 4 days
Text
I don't care if you don't want me / I'm yours right now
(Price × Reader)
[+18 | Warning: dub-con, drug use (sex pollen), light choking, and a dash of breeding kink]
There he goes again, ricochets between virtue and desire.
"You're too good for me."
"Don't get me wrong, love. You're beautiful."
"But I'm just an old man, I'll bore you to death."
"As if I care." You retorted, "You know me, John. Don't make this difficult for us."
"It's for your own good, (Name)." He smiled, "Someday you'll understand."
You grit your teeth, as you sense his mind is lost in the sea of uncertainty.
It's not a secret that the two of you want each other, just as the skin closing itself over the cut. But his selfishness keeps tearing it apart, leaving a gaping wound between you and him.
You wouldn't care if he didn't love you, but deep in his heart, he did. He still does. And that drives you mad, because there's no reason for him to push you away. Yes, you might come from a different background, but you share the same view as him.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not?" You tilted your head, "You said that the government didn't care about trivial things." You leaned forward, as you spoke in a lower tone, "Unless you've already suspected their involvement in this."
He chuckled at you, as he rubbed the nape of his neck. "You know me too well, (Name). It scares me sometimes."
Still, it wasn't enough, as if reading each other's minds isn't something intimate. Something that could only be achieved at the expense of vulnerability. You knew he had read your thoughts, and he knew you've peered into his heart, but he stood there, unmoving, while you begged him to come closer.
You wished you could reach out to him, stretching your hands toward him, but your arms were tied, and your feet planted to the ground. You were bound by the principles, and your inability to hold him pushed you to the point of frustration.
Perhaps it's just a game of play pretend, or maybe it's true that you're not good enough for him. Not smart enough, not pretty enough, and not meek enough. But you weren't born to be a lamb—a creature so sweet, and lovesome. A pretty thing that could put a smile on his face, and a poison in your heart.
When he looked at the other women, your chest would tightened, as bitter tears stung your eyes. It blinded you, as you walked away from the place. Not knowing that his gaze would linger on the door for a while.
This ugly side of you would grow, consuming the trust that you've built for him. You no longer found the use of moral restraint, since it didn't help you get what you wanted.
By the time you saw the unattended vial on the table, it was already too late.
You were never a saint, but you wouldn't be tempted by the devil either. Until Price came to you. Just like John the Baptist, his fate was sealed the moment he refused your kiss. You never wished to be Herod's daughter, but he left you with no choice.
If he wouldn't give you the answer, you'd just have to take it by yourself.
When he downed the whole glass of water you gave him, you simply waited. You waited, until his breath turned heavy, and his stare burned a hole in you.
"What'd you put in the drink?" He hissed.
"Nothing." You replied, "Just a truth serum."
"A truth serum?" He snarled, as he stood up and grabbed you by the collar, "Let me ask you once again. What did you put in my drink?"
"It's called a truth serum," You argued while you glared at him, "Because it'll tell me exactly how you feel about me."
"You foolish girl—"
You didn't have the chance to spat, as he shoved you to the nearest surface. The papers on the table flung down when he pushes everything away, before pressing you down with a kiss.
It's rough and stifling, as he leaves you with no room for breathing. You struggle to hold him off with your hands, trying to slow him down. But your attempt causes him to grunt, before he yanks them away from his chest.
"You wanted this, didn't you?" He growled into your ear, "You want me to ravage you like an animal, don't you? Is that what you really want?"
He wraps his fingers around your throat, rendering your speech into gibberish mess.
"You were wrong about me, sweetheart." He retorted, as he pressed his hip against your clothed core, "I might admire strong women in the field, but if I were a husband, I want my wife to be at home, taking care of our children." He dragged his grip up, and your mouth snapped open as you shouted in pain. "And if you were to be my wife, I'd knock you up every night. Because that's the only way to keep a woman like you by my side."
He chuckles when he feels you shudder under him. He lets go of your jaw, before slipping his hand beneath your pants. Your eyes widen, as he slips his finger between your folds.
"You're wet already?" He mocked, as he rubbed circles on your clit, "I barely even touched you."
"John—" You gasped when he put a pressure against the little bud, "Wait—"
It wasn't your intention to back down, moreover getting a cold feet, but his grasp on your hands tightened, to the point that you thought your bones would snap. You cry out, as you fail to tell him the other choice for the second time.
Though you failed to do it verbally, he soon found it out when a small flacon fell from your pocket.
He brings it up as he inspects the liquid inside, before he murmurs, "It's the antidote, isn't it?" He doesn't need to see how your face changes to confirm his suspicion, "I knew you'd bring one along, you're such a thoughtful girl."
You watch him in shock when he pulls the lid off with his teeth, before pouring out the content to the floor.
"But we won't need it anymore," He sneered as he tossed the bottle aside, "Since I'm not stopping any time soon."
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Text
Himuro Tatsuya, Hanamiya Makoto, and Aomine Daiki Dating Headcannons
➽───────────────❥➽───────────────❥
Hello, there Anon. This is for the Dating Headcannons after you ask the Jealous Headcannons! I hope you like the final result and I'm sorry if there might be some OOC characters.
Gender: Neutral Warning: None except a few profanities
➽───────────────❥➽───────────────❥
Himuro Tatsuya - Yōsen Academy High School
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Can be affectionate but not too much in public. He prefers holding your hand or just a simple kiss on the forehead but once you two are back. He would love to give you a cuddle and give you tiny pecks.
He also likes a human version of a backpack, you forget to bring something? He already has the stuff inside of the pocket of his pants. (For example, you forgot to bring your lotion? It's already in his pocket and ready to give it to you).
A gentleman, he does not believe in fifty-fifty. He would pay for the meals and the drinks if you two decide to go to the restaurant or to the cafe together.
Very caring, if you are sick or injured. He already prepared the bandages and the antiseptic to clean your wounds or a painkiller or any other medicine if you are sick that day.
Tons of woman are going to be jealous of you and would be glaring dagger back at you because you have a hot boyfriend who cares about you and they wishes that they have a boyfriend like him.
A good listener, he would listen to you every rent even if you are making fun of someone or even if he doesn't really understand the topic (but he tries to give the best answer).
(Imma say this-) Senpai in the street but hentai in the sheet. His innocent looks always fool you because he acts like he hasn't just said something that made you red and would put on an innocent smile when someone is speaking to him.
Rarely gets mad at you because he knows he's the type who's angry, he would say hurtful things so it's better to give some space for him when he is in a bad mood.
Always had his poker face on so it was going to be hard to decipher his emotion so you had to learn. When he's angry, he usually has a more stern tone but when he is normal, he would use a softer tone around you.
Ⰶ║ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ║Ⰶ
On a sunny afternoon, the sun goes down after it is in the highest spot in the sky and burns everyone with its heat. In the hall of the Yōsen school, a person with (H/C) hair colour with (H/L) hair length, (E/C) eye colour, and (S/C) skin colour standing near the locker of the school.
(Y/N) glances around as your eyes look for the certain prince charming. The two of you had been busy with all of the homework and the projects that were given by the lecturer and (Y/N) along with the prince charming had missed each other so much that they decided to hang out after his basketball practice.
Sighing in boredom, (Y/N)'s eyes would keep shifting between the hallway of the school and then the screen on her/his/their phone. "(Y/N)-san?" You hear a familiar sound calling your name. Glancing up, the stunning gave an apologetic smile to you for making you wait. "Were you waiting for me? I'm really sorry for making you wait. Coach Masako told us to clean up after our practice," Himuto said. "It's okay, at least you were just a little bit late. Not bailing out on our date," (Y/N) smiles and closes her/his/their eyes.
His fingers gently intertwined between your fingers and gently pulling you closer to him. Your cheeks change from the (S/C) and turn into a red hue, his little gesture is adorable. "I'm not sure if you had your lunch or not but if you have. I know a great place that sells tasty sweets," the shooting guard of Yōsen said. "Oh, don't worry. I already ate. Where are you going to bring me?" You ask. "It's a surprise," he places his finger on your lips, teasing you as he put on his innocent smile.
‿︵‿︵\ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ/︵‿︵‿Timeskip
Just like a gentleman, the captain of Yōsen player pushes the glass door open to let you get inside. The ambience of the pastry shop was comforting, the floor was made out of Mahogany wood planks and the wall had a picture of a Victorian old city along with an old phonograph placed next to the cupboard that was full of beautiful decorated mugs.
(Y/N) is amazed by the sight of the pastry, its warm and inviting display creating a cozy atmosphere. Entranced by the delicious array before them, Himuro gently takes (Y/N)'s hands. "You should see the sweets this pastry has. I think they have your favourite dessert," Himuro told you. (Y/N) nods in agreement, captivated by the words of the pasty has your favourite dessert, and follows Himuro to the cashier.
At the cashier, (Y/N) gazes at the dessert menu, their/her/his eyes lighting up with joy upon finding the name of the treat you desires. Sensing (Y/N)'s excitement, Himuro glances at the cashier. "Excuse me, ma'am. I would like a plate of (Favorite Dessert) and pretzels. How much would it be?" Himuro asks the old woman in front of him. "Alright, that will be ¥858.00," The cashier confirms the couple.
Before (Y/N) could retrieve her/his/their wallet, Himuro swiftly took out his phone and activated the camera to scan the barcode for payment. A surprised (Y/N) watches as Himuro pays for the desserts, a gesture that catches them/him/her off guard.
You had intended to split the cost, willing to share the expense and not burden your boyfriend. "Himuro-san, it's okay. I can pay for myself," you told him, feeling a sense of guilt for not wanting to burden him with the entire expense. Himuro gazes at (Y/N) with a gentle smile, shaking his head as he reassures, "It's okay, (Y/N)-san. Besides, I asked you to hang out with me, so it is only fair that I pay for our date,"
Ⰶ║ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ║Ⰶ
Hanamiya Makoto
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Aren't affectionate unless he wants to brag you in front of his teammate. He wants to rub in everyone's faces that he has a hot S/O and the rest are still single.
A tease and also a sadist, he likes to degrade you and makes fun of you but he won't hurt you that bad since you are his S/O. Also, won't apologize unless he saw you cry and he would begrudgingly apologize for hurting you.
If you don't like Dark jokes and creepy jokes. I'm sorry but he won't be good for you because the only thing that can make him laugh genuinely and think it's funny are dark and creepy jokes.
Be careful how you act, he is observant so if you lie. He already knew that you were lying to him and he would investigate the truth without you knowing it.
Do you want him to be less asshole to you? The answer is simple, bribe him with dark chocolate (Not always working, this only works if you want him to teach you when you two study). He loves them.
Actually, if you know how to banter around and aren't sensitive. You would most likely see him actually joking around with you, he can be pretty funny but he only shows it to certain people.
It's canon that he likes idiotic s/o because he could manipulate them BUT that's how are you not gonna survive dating him. YOU HAVE TO outsmart him because he would purposely put you in a situation you do not want to.
Surprisingly, he's not all that mean to his S/O. Since you are his soft spot, he would be willing to share his chocolate with you. He has never let ANYONE touch his chocolate.
He likes to tease you in public. He would whisper lots of dirty things in your ear until you were red from embarrassment and then smile innocently before shrugging when someone asked why are you red.
Ⰶ║ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ║Ⰶ
It was not usually for Hanamiya to initiate outings, especially considering his usual busy schedule with basketball activities. However, two days ago, to (Y/N)'s surprise, Hanamiya unexpectedly asked you to go on a date through text messages instead of face-to-face.
Hanamiya's invitation to go out at six o'clock in the afternoon, right after the club activity, struck (Y/N) as strange. Knowing Hanamiya's usual demeanour and that he wasn't one to make spontaneous requests, (Y/N) couldn't help but feel that there might be some underlying plan or surprise involved. This could be a good thing or a bad thing for (Y/N).
This unusual request raised suspicions for (Y/N), but being Hanamiya's boyfriend/girlfriend/romantic partner. (Y/N) chose to dismiss any concerns. As (Y/N) got ready in their bedroom, carefully selected what would you wear later once you two met. It was quite cold outside so it would be a bad idea to wear something short or you would freeze to death.
Having chosen the perfect attire, (Y/N) lays the long-sleeve turtleneck sweater and the pants down on the bed, and hangs the jacket neatly on a hook. With everything in place, (Y/N) heads to the bathroom to take a refreshing shower, she/they/he could not wait for the upcoming date. The sound of running water fills the air as (Y/N) readies themselves for the evening ahead.
‿︵‿︵\ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ/︵‿︵‿Timeskip
Standing outside the cinema, (Y/N) anxiously waits, scanning the surroundings for the distinctive figure of the guy with bushy eyebrows. Glancing at the time on their phone, a twinge of concern arises, fearing that Hanamiya might bail on you.
Suddenly, a familiar male voice calls out (Y/N)'s name from a distance. Looking up, they/she/he spots Hanamiya strutting towards them, hands casually tucked into his pockets. A mixture of relief and curiosity washes over (Y/N) after knowing Hanamiya won't bail on the date. "Oh, you came...I thought you were not going to come," Hanamiya mutters to himself. "Let's go inside, I already booked the ticket and the seat online, we can just buy the popcorn," Hanamiya steps inside.
It would typically be a sweet gesture for a boyfriend to have already booked the cinema seats online, sparing both partners the hassle of waiting in line. However, considering Hanamiya's unpredictable nature, (Y/N) can't help but purse her/his/their lips together, silently cursing under her/his/their breath. "Hanamiya-san, what movie ticket did you buy for us?" you asked him.
The certain Kirisaki Daiichi captain just responds with a smirk across his face. "You'll find out soon," the male taunted you. With a subtle yet possessive gesture, he wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to the scanning area which is next to the cashier. The red light from the computer reads the barcode on Hanamiya's phone and the sound of the paper getting printed out could be heard from the printing machine.
As the printing machine churns out the ticket, Hanamiya snatches it, and (Y/N) takes a glimpse, only for their/her/his eyes to widen in surprise. Having heard from friends that it's one of the scariest movies, a mix of shock and fear washes over (Y/N). "I hope you're not that scared, (Y/N)~" Hanamiya stuck his tongue out as you glances up at him, his playful tone adding a hint of mischief to the unexpected choice of movie.
Ⰶ║ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ║Ⰶ
Aomine Daiki
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A big tease and loved to annoy the hell out of you, he also loved to make you embarrassed either when he was using pick-up lines on you or when he was touching you either casually or sexually.
Arcade dates! Going to show off when you two play basketball games together and brags to you that he has a higher score than you and the reason why he is the 'ace'.
But if you don't like Arcade, he would love to just bring you around those Japanese festivals and try some street foods (and If you two get older. He would bring you to those extreme places like bungee jumping since he has enough money to travel).
No shame at all, if you can cook or bake delicious food. He would shamelessly steal it from you and if you try to take it back. He would raise his hands up so you could not reach them at all while smiling like a devil.
Have you ever wondered how it feels like to raise a cat as big as a human? Well, he's the perfect answer. He just acts like a damn cat because sometimes he doesn't want to be cuddled and then he would be all over you, demanding to be cuddled.
He acts as if he is a chill boyfriend but nope. he is protective of you, and he would glare at anyone who dares to touch you and if anyone is being creepy? THEY ARE GOING TO END UP LIKE HAIZAKI GOT PUNCHED BUT WORSE.
Caring but doesn't know how to show it so he acts like a damn Tsundere. For instance, if you are sick from overworking. He would buy those horrible ramen from the convenience store and call you an idiot for getting sick.
Kind of a terrible boyfriend (for the first time) because he would say insensitive things. Especially if you two fight, not only he is moody but he would say hurtful stuff, give you the silent treatment, and be very easily angered.
But also can be a cute boyfriend, he will always be proud of you. Even if it was a small achievement, he would even brag about it to his teammate (and Wakamatsu gonna scream 'SHUT UP!')
Ⰶ║ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ║Ⰶ
Aomine stands in front of another basketball player, blocking the rival team from getting close to Touou's basketball ring. In a swift move, Aomine executes as his hands slap the ball against the ball from the player's hand before sprinting towards the opposing team's basketball hoop.
As the Ace of the Touou basketball team floats in the air, he launches the ball into the air, and the satisfying swish resonates through the court as it smoothly glides through the hoop. The blaring sounds of the alarm signal the victory for Touou School.
Amidst the cheers and applause from the spectators celebrating Touou's victory, the ace player's attention remains fixated on a particular individual with (H/C) hair and (E/C) eyes. Aomine's gaze scans the crowd, hoping to catch (Y/N)'s reaction to his impressive play.
As his eyes lock onto (Y/N)'s form, a genuine sense of happiness lights up Aomine's expression. A triumphant smirk graces his face, knowing that he has left (Y/N) in awe of his skills on the court, and their admiration is the most rewarding response he could hope for as (Y/N)'s eyes gleamed in the light, shouting his name. "AOMINE!!! YOU DID IT!!!" she clapped her hands and cupped her mouth with the hands facing outwards
‿︵‿︵\ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ/︵‿︵‿Timeskip
After the intense game, (Y/N) hurriedly makes their/her/his way down from the bench and waits eagerly in the hallway. As the door swings open, revealing Aomine in his uniform, having discarded the sweaty jersey, (Y/N)'s face lights up. Without hesitation, (Y/N) joyfully leaps into Aomine's arms, exclaiming, "I'm proud of you!!"
Aomine, caught off guard by the sudden embrace, can't help but return the sentiment with his arms wrapped around your waist before you can hit the floor and hold you in the air. "Woah there tiger, don't just go jumping on me," He held (Y/N) closer, his smirk deepened as he held you closer.
Aomine's teasing prompts a faint blush on (Y/N)'s cheeks, though they/she/he quickly rolls their/her/his eyes in response. With a touch of sass, (Y/N) retorts, "You wish," before smoothly getting down from his arms. Eager to shift the focus to celebrating the victory, (Y/N) enthusiastically suggests, "Let's go out somewhere to celebrate your victory." "Ehh, I don't really care about this stuff. Maybe we can go maji burger?"Aomine suggests, expressing his craving for a burger.
(Y/N) looks at him with a hint of unamusement. "Really? You want fast food?" you remark, raising an eyebrow. Aomine sighs, contemplating for a moment, before a smirk graces his face. "Alright, I know a place where we can eat some Okonomiyaki. How about that?" mentioning there's an okonomiyaki place near the gymnasium and it's quite popular.
"Sure, we can eat okonomiyaki together," you agree, a smile playing on your lips as Aomine takes one of your hands. Together, the two of you walk away, hand in hand, ready to go to celebrate his victory. Despite it was not a fancy place, it would still leave a memory of the two of you having a simple date.
Ⰶ║ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ ⵈ║Ⰶ
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maple-the-awesome · 5 months
Text
Twilight's Calling ||
Pairing: Twilight x GN! Reader
Words: 2,544
Requested by anonymous: Heeey. First of I love your writing style! It’s just amazing! Cause twilight is my fav. could you maybe write something like xreader with him, for example they’re in a battle or smth? Only if it’s okay ofc! Thanks a lot and have a good day and week! best wishes :) Twilight may or may not be my favorite Link, too (TP was the first game I finished, so I'm a little bias, okay?). I've had this draft lying around unfinished for awhile, so I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to finish it. Here you go, hun 💜
Zelda Masterlist 🤎Fandom Masterlist
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It's getting pretty late. 'Late' as in the sun has long set and the last time you saw any of the boys was about an hour ago when Time finally managed to herd the remaining stragglers out of the room, although he was being a bit hypocritical seeing as he still lingered in the doorway for a good minute himself afterwards (not that you dared comment on it).
Since their heavy footsteps had faded into silence - and aside from the innkeeper sometimes shuffling down the hall or a sudden 'pop' of the bedside candle - you've been left entirely alone with your thoughts as they dance on the very edge of sleep, but you refuse to lose balance. It's your shift. You promised to be a good lookout and it took a lot of convincing to even get the position, so you can't disappoint no matter how heavy the weight upon your eyelids or heart is.
You've always been well aware of the risks that would come with this mission and from traveling alongside nine heroes of legend; troublesome young men and boys who can definitely handle themselves in battle, however none immune to making possible mistakes. You expected one to occur at some point, yet never wanted the aftermath to be anything too serious.
Wild getting a decent scar on his forehead was a scare when it initially happened, but he was back on his feet within the hour - less than that actually, because if you remember correctly, his quick recovery had been controversial and resulted in quite a bit of bickering. The bottom line is that Wild bounced back with little to no trouble thanks in part to his thick skull. This is different. Twilight has yet to follow his protege's example and it's been hours.
You must admit you underestimated the situation at first due to a lack of context. It's not to say you didn't care about Wolfie when he got struck, however there's a notable difference between a wild 'pet' that occasionally trails your group and the very man you've grown to secretly admire over the months you've spent traveling together. If you had known then that they are one of the same, you would've likely shared a similar level of panic as the Champion, but instead you were left in the dark until Four finally explained Twilight's secret to you.
Even at that moment, although more worried, you figured everything would be okay. Wolfie or Twilight, a fairy should be able to do the trick to heal the worst of injuries, so one can imagine your heartbreak once learning that, for some odd reason, the state of his wounds haven't changed even under a fairy's sacred touch. That's when you truly became fearful, but you refused to show it outwardly - no more than whatever made itself present on your face, anyway.
Making a fuss won't aid Twilight's condition nor will it calm the concerns of your friends, so instead you had mostly stayed out of the way until Time announced everyone should get some rest. At that point, you made your presence known, quick to shoot your hand into the air while volunteering to take the first shift for watching over Twilight. Champion was the only one to fight you for it and honestly, you still aren't certain how you won the argument, but here you are, sitting quietly at Twilight's bedside while trying desperately to keep yourself from descending into madness as you fret over his well-being.
He's doing somewhat better after Hyrule's magic managed to stop most of the bleeding, however his wound remains deep without any further healing progress and his skin is drained into a pale, sickly color clear even through the dim glow of candle light. He looks like shit and you'd guess he feels like it, too, seeing as his face curls into a pained expression every now and again, a whispered groan leaving him whenever he slightly shifts his body (not that he moves that much).
It's gotten a bit chilly tonight, however all blankets in the room have been laid over him and you refuse to swoop as low as to steal comfort from a dying man, so you simply keep huddled to yourself, half praying the next shift will come sooner and half praying it won't because a stubbornness inside you is somehow convinced that the simple act of you being here will keep himsafe from death's hands.
You don't pay much attention to the quiet groan that comes from the bed, having already bitterly accepted that there's nothing that can ease whatever pain haunts Twilight during his nightmares, although you do lift your head when a hand shakes its way into view, barely able to carry itself to the edge of the covers where it collapses with a broken echo from its owner, "W...What time is it?"
You almost cry simply by the sight of Twilight's dull eyes staring up at you, half-lidded and only appearing bright if compared to the dark bags hiding underneath them, but you manage to hold back the tears for the sake of not scaring him.
"I-I'm not sure. After sunset," You answer slowly as to prevent any wobbling to your voice.
"And the others? Is every - everyone else okay?" Hylia, he sounds awful, his once handsome, accent-laced voice butchered by a hollow croak.
"Yeah...Yeah, we're all okay - and don't worry about the shadow. Wild managed to take it down - thanks to you tiring it out, I'd say. You sure gave that thing a run for its money there," You attempt to joke lamely. Although your laugh doesn't carry much life to it, Twilight's expression does soften a tad after the sound.
"...Good..." Is all he says before closing his eyes with a sigh through his nose. Meanwhile you fidget nervously, debating with yourself on whether you should let the conversation die off so that he can continue getting rest or keep him talking while he's able to. You sure do love hearing his voice, after all, no matter how broken it may be; it reminds you that someone as great as him is actually real and, after recent events, still alive.
In the midst of your depressed thoughts, you notice Twilight reach his hand out towards you again - or at least it looks like he's trying to. Really, he only has the strength to lift it palm-up slightly off the covers, yet you understand this movement's wordless request. Ever so gently, as if he's made of glass, you take his hand and sandwich it between both of yours. He's a bit too cold for your liking, a sharp contrast to his normally warm touch, not that you draw attention to that worrying detail.
"...Is there anything I can get you?"
He tries to shake his head, but loses will halfway through the action and instead chooses to simply let his head lull to the side towards you. From there he stares for a bit longer than he means to, his dazed brain struggling to process his thoughts at its usual speed.
"Why aren't you sleeping?"
"Someone has to keep an eye on you," You allow a small smile, slowly reaching forward to help move his bangs away from his face, "We're all taking shifts throughout the night. I was just lucky enough to get the first."
Twilight hums, closing his eyes for a brief second when your fingers brush his forehead, "How'd you manage that?"
"Barely. For a second there, I thought I was gonna have to duel the Champion for it - had my hand on my sword and everything before he finally caved," Twilight makes a sound between a scoff and a laugh which makes your smile more genuine even if he does flinch in pain immediately afterwards, "The real question is how I won against Time...Actually, I wouldn't be that surprised if he's secretly standing outside the door as we speak."
A creak of old floorboards in the hallway makes your eyes dart to the door, almost expecting the man in question to walk in and call you out for your jokes, yet you calm that doesn't happen. Twilight brings your attention back to him by moving his thumb against your hand, "Don't tell 'em, but I'm glad it's you here. I like having ya' here with me..."
You press your lips, hoping it'll help you ignore the heat against your cheeks. That must be the first time Twilight has ever openly said he 'likes' anything related to you; you're certain you'd remember any other instances of such a milestone. It might not be the exact sentence you'd want him to use the word in, but it's a step in the right direction, so you'll take it.
"I like having you here with me, too, Twi...which is why I've officially decided that I'm too selfish to let you die on any of us. I don't care if I have to fist-fight Hylia for it; I'm not letting you get out of this journey so easily."
"That right?"
"I swear it on my life."
He chuckles weakly, although the sound is taken over by a fit of coughing. Promptly you pour a small glass of water using the pitcher kept on the bedside table before gently helping him sit up to take a careful sip.
It's insane for you to think that only a few weeks ago, you had been secretly watching him move hay bales at Time's place effortlessly. Now he lies here in bed struggling to hold a conversation, his muscles shaking horribly by the simply action of prompting himself up even slightly. Seeing him like this makes you feel awful, but you also consider yourself blessed to be the one taking care of him during a low point like this, ensuring that he's properly cared for and tended to almost like a spouse would.
"Seems like I'm starting to lose you, farm boy. You should relax and get some more sleep," He makes a face and seems prepared to argue, however he must not have been able to think of anything convincing to say - that or the aching in his bones has become too hard to ignore. Either way, instead of saying a word, Twilight nods droopily before inching his way back down against his soft pillow while you fix the blankets over him again.
"Look on the bright side: make it through this and you'll probably get special treatment from here on out. Get your bags carried for you, have whatever meals you're craving be made each night...If you hobble around a little I'm sure you could even get Time to fuss over you -"
" - And what about you?" Twilight quizzes and you can't tell if he's being serious or just teasing. It feels like the latter, yet the way he watches you while awaiting your reply makes you feel another way; soft and warm, but a tad anxious at the same time, "What can I get from you?"
You pretend to think, although in truth, you already know there wouldn't be any limitations for what you're willing to give. If he asked for the world right now, you'd figure out some way to gift wrap it for him...but that's too embarrassing to admit aloud, "...Depends on what you're thinking and if you can swing it the right way."
He hums, once again staring at you just long enough to make that anxious feeling really prominent. Is there something on your face that no one told you about earlier? Is he judging your messy hairdo that you had no time to fix since the battle? Did you sound too flirtatious in your answer? Maybe his injury has given him the ability to read minds, so now he knows just how desperate you are to earn his affections!
"...If I asked you to stay with me, would you?" Twilight whispers so quietly that you barely hear, yet you do. 
"I, uh...Time will be here in an hour or so for his shift, but I won't go anywhere until then, okay?" Not even your poor excuse at smiling can save your stumbled words, yet you pray he doesn't look beyond either. He's loopy from such a stressful day, so it makes sense that he's have trouble properly wording questions. It also makes sense for him to be scared to be left alone - anyone would be in such a state. He doesn't have to worry, though; between you and the boys, someone will always be by his side throughout the night. You'd expect that knowledge to be a relief for him, however Twilight only frowns and looks away with a surprisingly depressed look in his eyes. 
Fiddling nervously with your hands upon your lap, you ask carefully, "...Unless you're wanting me to watch over your for the whole night? In that case, I wouldn't mind staying if it would make you feel better. I'm sure the others would be fine with it if they could just check in here and there."
Twilight presses his lips, refusing to look directly at you. If you didn't know any better, you'd say that based on his continued reaction, you're still somehow missing the point of his question, yet no matter how much you rack your brain, you can't think of what else he would've possibly meant.
You were tempted to ask for more clarity, but Twilight speaks before you can, "...I'd like that."
"Yeah?"
He nods bashfully which melts your heart in a way you're sure would be shamefully clear if he were only looking in your direction.
"...Well, since you took one for the team -" Scooting your chair closer to the bed allows you to cross your arms over the mattress and rest your head on top of them. Desperately you try to ignore your nerves and the cute way Twilight curiously looks over at you, "- I'll stay for the night if you promise me one thing."
"Hmm?"
"Stay with me, too? Without you, I might just loose my mind. Don't tell anyone else, but you don't drive me nearly as insane as some of the other boys do," not in the same way at least.
The corner of Twilight's lips turn upwards, his hand taking it's time to move over yours. The second it makes contact, you take the chance to hold onto it, "...Sounds like a deal..."
You match his smile easily, "Get some sleep, Twi. I'll be right here when you wake up, so just focus on getting better for me, alright?"
He hums one last time, drifting off to sleep as commanded where he seems to be far more peaceful than earlier. As promised, you remain by his side until morning, eventually falling victim to quick naps yourself only disrupted whenever someone else sneaks into the room to see how things are going. You're certain you'll be tired tomorrow with an aching back after spending an entire night hunched over, but that's a small price to pay for someone like Twilight. It'll all be worth it to see him recover, granting you even more time to spend by his side through thick and thin.
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228 notes · View notes
heyidkyay · 2 months
Text
And I'm petrified of being alone, now |
Part Seventeen
Matty Healy x reader
Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.
What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 
Authors Note: Okay! Hi!:) Just have to say thank you for all the love you lot keep showing this series, it’s so mad and so very appreciated. Honestly makes me want to carry on writing. But I also wanted to add a quick warning to this update.. There is a lot going on, we finally get what we’ve been waiting for!! But there are other topics that also come into play. SO that being said please read the warnings below.
Warnings: Mentions of drug and alcohol abuse (past tense), as well as sobriety, also a previous death, bit gruesome but needed- this relates back to a conversation held between Matty and Jamie in Part Eight.
> Last update: look back here if you'd like!
Masterlist
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She never did call.
Matty waited, and then waited some more. He fidgeted the rest of the day, smoked his way through a pack of fags when they’d been down at the studio, and then nursed a single pint after having allowed the guys to bully him into one of the local pubs.
It wasn’t until much later that night that he heard anything from her at all, and it hadn’t been a call, but instead a text.
Messages now Squeaks xx I listened to it 
He’d been cooped up in his office since the second he’d gotten home, looking through a couple of older demos and other sound clips in hopes that he’d find something that would fit with the current sound of their new album. George had been on his case about it all, claiming he’d been too spaced out as of late, so Matty had huffed but ultimately followed through.
Songbooks from years before were piled up high on his desk and on the floor, pages full of chords and scribbled lyrics cluttered the rest of the space, but he continued on, using it to distract him from the torturous wait.
When his phone finally did buzz, Matty had almost decided not to answer it, figuring that it would just be a message from Jamie, or maybe his mum. He was still waiting for that ring. But fuck was he glad that he’d taken a glance. Otherwise he might’ve missed it.
Are you busy?
The next text had come through almost a minute after the first, as though she’d been debating sending it. Matty frowned down at the screen, pushing away from his desk slightly.
She’d heard it.
She’d heard the demo. 
He didn’t quite know how to feel about that, or what to take from her clipped response. It was why he had essentially asked her to call him, because at least then he would’ve been able to somewhat determine what she’d thought about it, how she might’ve felt.
His tongue slid between the row of his front teeth in thought, staring down at the messages he’d received whilst his thumbs hovered over the keyboard looking for something to say.
Can you come over?
His fucking breath got caught in his throat just reading that, his tongue suddenly too big for his mouth. Matty didn't even think before he hastily answered her, worried she might take it all back.
Give me ten minutes.
He could do ten minutes. 
Fuck it. He’d fucking speedtail it out of here and try for five if it meant that she’d just let him in again. The last week had been painful enough, no need to fucking prolong it.
So that was what he did, throwing on the first pair of trainers he’d found in the hallway and grabbing at the car keys he’d tossed down on the counter months earlier. Forgetting about the album and the work he’d planned to do, along with whatever else that had seemed so important just a second ago.
She called and he would come running.
It was pissing down by the time he made it to her place.
Headlights on and ignition still running, Matty went to make his escape from the driver's seat, practically vibrating with the anticipation of it all. But he did momentarily pause to yank the keys from beneath the wheel before eventually scrabbling his way out of the sidedoor, feet immediately dropping into the murky puddle sat beneath. 
He’d parked like a fucking dickhead, halfway onto the curb and his boot sticking out into the empty street, but he could care less about it as he jogged around the front of the car and up the first few steps to her door.
There was blood rushing in his ears, filling up his head and making him dizzy with it all. He raised a fist to knock, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. 
He’d gotten there in just under seven minutes. 
His heart was pounding like mad. 
He knocked. 
It was minutes or maybe seconds before he heard a slight scuffle on the other side. Before the hallway light turned on and peered through the painted window pane sat atop the familiar front door. 
The chain fell with a clang and Matty swallowed, watching on as the hinges creaked, revealing her face.
She stared up at him, standing in a pair of pyjamas he remembered seeing on a late night call of theirs, her hair all tied up in one of those pretty buns, soft curls escaping at the sides.
Her lips parted with her next breath, the sound of it jumped out at him and Matty couldn’t really hold back anymore. It had been six months. Six whole months. Almost to the day they’d met... Back when he’d been cocksure and arrogant. When he’d still been reeling from another stint in rehab, and from the stunt before the summer, and from Luke’s death.
Matty paused. 
He hadn’t really thought about Luke so easily. Not ever. Not since that night. Not in passing.
But she was currently staring back at him. Her eyes wide and tired. Shining in the light of the street lamps that crowded the street outside. 
Matty stepped forward, reaching for her. 
“Tell me to stop.” He muttered. 
She didn’t. 
And so his hand found the edge of her jaw, fingers nestling into a place at her hairline, skimming the tip of her ear.
“I can’t.” She answered him. Always so full of truth. 
And Matty, Matty was a selfish man. He’d been a selfish kid, too. A bratty teenager. A hellish son and an even worse boyfriend. Always so egotistical, so bold, so brazen. But even more so, selfish. 
He would take and take. And this moment was no different. He took.
Her mouth met his with an agonising fever, and there was an eager sigh that escaped in the breath shared between them that Matty couldn’t really determine if was his or hers.
She let him in so easily, let his tongue roam. She let him pull her close, let his hand find purchase on her hip and hear her moan. 
It was a whimper of a thing, a sound that was swallowed up by his mouth as he consumed her again. But it fuelled that fire within him, that heat which had been simmering so close to the surface of his skin for weeks, months now. 
“Mouse.” Matty said shakily, walking her backwards, further into the flat, where their feet shuffled over the hardwood floors. The door swung shut behind them and rattled in the silence before he was spinning and pressing her shoulders up against its cold wood. 
“Matty.” She breathed back to him, fingers catching on his neck, then his jaw, winding their way up into his hair. Tugging. 
A grunt escaped him and he pressed harder with it, teeth catching on her teeth, hands moulding into her skin. 
She tasted of something sweet, it coated the length of her tongue and melded well with the cigarette he’d lit on his way over. He wanted to taste more of it, found his nose pressing against the skin of her cheek in an attempt to do so. 
It was a second later that he felt himself rut up against her, accidentally mind, but the zip of his jeans tugged at the band of her bottoms and the movement made him realise he was hard. Had been half-way there from the moment she had texted him, but now, in her hallway, with her grinding up against him, and with those pretty little sounds she let slip, it was almost painful.
“Squeaks.” He managed to force out and she swallowed her own name right up, one arm wrapping around the length of his shoulders whilst the other tugged at the nape of his neck. 
Matty followed her demands effortlessly, a hand slipping under the hem of her shirt to feel at the warm skin hidden beneath, a calloused thumb brushing against the jut of her hip.
He explored, felt the edges of rigid flesh she kept hidden and out of sight, the freckles that lingered and dotted her torso, then wedged his knee between her legs. Hands grabbing at the backs of her thighs. 
One of her knees rode up higher on his side as he shifted even closer, letting her use him like a makeshift ladder to lift herself further up in the little space which stood between him and the door. 
He rutted again and the joint of her knee tightened by his hip, the heel of her foot digging into the back of his leg, forcing him even nearer. He grabbed at the swell of her arse, noting the way she arched into him at the touch. How her stomach tensed. 
It had just been pissing it down outside, he recalled belatedly, but her warmth in that moment seemed to dry up the remaining raindrops caught in his hair and along the shoulders of his coat. His fingertips pressed harder into her thighs at the thought, feeling the bottom of her shirt ride up higher between them upon catching on the zip of his jacket. 
She nipped at his lip, then his jaw, hands all but clawing at his neck and his back.
“Squeaks.” He tried again, brain hazy with want but needing to do this right. He had to do this right. “Squeaks.” Again he said, a plea within a shared breath between them, “Baby, please.”
She retreated all too quickly, letting him go with a sharp inhale. Lids heavy with avidity as she blinked back at him. 
Matty realised then that he’d had her pinned to the door, crowded against the wood and practically having lifted her up off of her feet. He swallowed thickly at the sight and willed his dick to calm the fuck down. But it had been way too fucking long. 
He was unhurried in the way he shifted beneath her before carefully letting her go, unwinding the leg he held at his hip before she slid slowly down his front. Feet hitting the cold wood floors with a soft thud.
He blinked and gone was that selfishness they had just shared, that immediate heat, and suddenly she was all wary, shy almost. Matty reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, before he steeled himself and finally took a step back.
“You came.” She murmured after a breath, and had his mind been in better shape he’d have been quicker with his quip.
But yet, he was left drifting in between the heady thrill and the uneventful come down they’d shared. 
He blinked slowly at her. Could see that the hallway light was the only one on, but somewhere, further down the hall, a soft glow from one of her many lamps crept its way past a door. 
“You said you’d call.” He found himself saying in reply, though it wasn’t the reprimand he’d thought it was. 
Her smile was soft then. Fond. 
His breath caught at the sight of her, still laboured from the minute before.
“After.” Squeaks whispered in recall. And Matty heard himself repeat it, “After, you said.”
She took a small step closer to him, the padding of her feet echoed in the narrow walkway. Matty’s hands twitched at his sides.
He saw her throat bob. 
“Tea?” She questioned, and Matty was both thankful and resentful for the quiet offer. 
He nodded, blinking owlishly at her. 
They stood there, not moving, for a long moment. The sound of a car passed, then the scuffle of a person or two outside, as well as the far off yap of a neighbouring dog. And still they just stood there, staring.
She took another step nearer and Matty attempted not to react to the way her fingers caught on the front of his coat, memorising the careful way she started to peel it off of him, turning so that she could claim it and then hang it off some place to the side. He looked at her the whole while, scared to take his eyes off her, in truth.
He licked at his lower lip when he caught her staring too and captured her hand in his when she went to step around him. 
“Tea.” He reminded himself and she smiled, eyes flickering across the length of his face. As though she was seeing him for the first time.
“Tea.”
Her kitchen always felt so homely. 
She had spices fixed to a rack on the wall, wound in growing ivy attached to the potted plant that sat on the windowsill beside it. Her fridge was dotted in magnets and polaroids, and a drawing of Teddy’s hung front and centre. The table was always so neat, though still cluttered with the odd crayon and lego piece, a bowl of fruit was perched in the very middle. She had one of those kettle cosy’s too, a knitted one that reminded Matty of days spent at his nana’s house when he was just a boy. 
His favourite part of all of it though, had to be her. 
He stood in the doorway and just watched as she puttered about the space, flashbacks of previous visits coming back to him. She had this easy grace about her, an elegance he always seen but could never quite make out. She was a piece to many puzzles in the way she typically held herself, so ready to fight and so willing to wilt, but in that moment she just was.
And Matty could hardly tear his eyes away from her, from the length of her back to the curve of her waist. The taste, the memory of her still coating his tongue.
He’d kicked off his shoes before he could trail a messy track throughout her home, so his footsteps were quiet when he finally crossed the kitchen tiles. He paused just behind her, his hands falling to her hips whilst his chin dropped to rest on her shoulder.
She allowed it. Picking up the kettle to pour over two mismatched mugs, he simply watched her work.
It was a difficult task not allowing his hands to wander, or to keep his mouth from pressing against the pulse in her neck, but he withheld, content to just hold her. Humming when she picked up the milk and thinking over the last day they’d spent together. That night at his.
They moved over to the table not long after, her kitchen blinds were still open so the moon gifted them all the light they needed. Matty kept close, knocking his knees against hers at the very corner of the table, unwilling to go without.
She was quiet still whilst she danced a finger around the rim of her steaming brew, Matty was mesmerised by the delicate motion.
A hum of hers broke the silence they had since settled in, the softness of it causing him to blink and look up, immediately recognising the faint tune of the demo he’d sent her.
He smiled, his eyes caught on to the one she wore too. Practically conspiratorial.
His legs reached outwards to capture one of her ankles between his feet, her gaze flickered back and forth between both his eyes. He wondered what she saw in them, what she made of him.
“I’m guessing you liked it then.” Matty spoke, voice ever so low, still scared to break their languid solitude.
Mouse dipped her chin in a nod, peering up at him through dark lashes that made him want to catch her by the neck and pull her in again. He knew what she tasted like now, he felt as though it would forever haunt him.
“Thank you,” She whispered after, fingers cupped around the bottom of her mug. His brow furrowed.
“For what?”
She smiled again, blinking at him sweetly, “For my gifts, for always being so lovely, for sending me that song.”
Matty snorted, knowing that the last thing he could possibly be was lovely.
Fingertips touched his chin then and she guided his face back up to meet hers, he hadn’t realised he’d even looked away. But it was then that he was reminded of that night in his own kitchen, crowded between her legs and the counter, her kind eyes. You’re enough.
“Was it for me?” She questioned, watching him closely again. Something she tended to always do. “‘Cause that kiss, it sort of made it feel like it was for me.”
Matty grinned, eyes squinting with the strength of it. 
It was so easy- too easy, even- for her to make him smile like that, and he couldn’t even begin to decide whether he loved or hated the fact that she had the ability. 
“Yeah, Squeaks. It was for you.”
Her cheeks dimpled in an attempt to dim the smile she then wore, elbows pressing against the table’s edge, her foot resting on top of his own. “Good.” She murmured, leaning in closer now.
“Good?” He chuckled, following the motion. Eyes caught on the curve of her mouth.
“Uhuh,” She breathed into the small space between them, nose brushing against the side of Matty’s own. “Really good.”
He laughed again, low and breathy this time around, before he finally closed the distance and kissed her for a second time.
She laughed too, smiling against his lips.
For an insomniac, the dark was a place full of many contradictions.
Matty had spent countless hours staring up at all types of ceilings, in all sorts of places, and in all kinds of countries. But hers, he reckoned, was possibly his favourite. As most things had come to be in the short time he’d spent with Mouse.
Because even as she slept on beside him, bundled in the duvet and a blanket that smelt of her, he didn’t stress over the fact that he was still wide awake. 
His mind was too preoccupied to stress. Just thinking back to the expression she’d worn when she’d first opened the front door. To the breathy gasps that had escaped her in the hallway. The way she’d gently carded her fingers through his hair after she’d lured him into bed. Promising to talk more tomorrow.
He thought of Luke then, as well. As he often did whenever the darkness plagued him.
The fucker would be laughing if he could just see him now, obsessing and all soppy over some bird. Smiling away to himself in the dark.
But Matty knew that he’d be happy too. Glad that he was finally getting back on the right track. Actually trying this time around. Because Luke had known the hardships of addiction just as well as Matty had- it was what had killed him in the end, wasn't it.
He could still picture his face, both before and after the fall. One second they’d all been grinning on that roof, high as kites and drunk out of their minds, having the time of their lives, and then his had hit the concrete.
Matty’s stomach rolled at the thought.
At the eerie silence that had followed.
He’d been struggling that night, trying to get clean, to stay clean. And they’d only gone to the party, Luke and Danny, to appease him. Luke, having tagged along wanting to look out for him, to make sure that he didn’t get too caught up in anything he couldn’t get himself out of.
Luke had been sober three months at that point. Clean of the drugs and the drink. All of it. He’d drank that night though, the party had been at one of his dodgier mates places and he wouldn’t have been able to have stayed in the clear.
Matty remembered egging him on, telling him to live a little. To have a beer. A shot. And then another. And another. Someone else had offered him that line though.
He’d been hammered by the time some idiot had come up with that dare and they’d all thought it had been a sick idea to try and walk the length of the roof. Like they were at Zippo’s sodding circus.
Luke had been doing so good. Matty had known it too. What with his first EP coming out that September, something which Jamie had made happen, and his new flat that he’d not long moved into. Away from the familiarity of street corners he knew far too well and faces of dealers that he’d seen time and time again before.
He’d been good. Been going steady.
Then he was just dead.
Matty didn’t close his eyes then, even as they began to water. Didn’t want to see him like that. Knew that he would if only he shut his eyes. Because he couldn't stand to see the reminder, the life that had left him too quickly.
A slight sniff broke him from his thoughts then and he stilled as Mouse moved and turned in her sleep.
He let himself breathe a little easier once she’d settled again, tucking her face into the crook of his shoulder and nestling further into his side. He wrapped an arm around her, needing her close, and then finally allowed his eyes to fall shut, burying his face in the top of her hair.
He wondered if she’d let him stay from now on and pressed a long kiss to her forehead.
He hoped that she would, listening to the quiet that hummed throughout the rest of her flat as his mind began to let go of what consciousness it had once clung on to.
‘Tomorrow’ was his final thought before he eventually drifted off. It had been a long time since he’d thought that he’d ever make it to a tomorrow.
It was a grunt I woke up to. The heavy and unfavoured kind, the type that was only ever forced out of you when you received a hefty blow to the stomach.
I felt my face wrinkle as I pressed in closer to the warmth beside me, unhappy to have been woken. But then I heard a whisper, followed by a giggle, which had me blinking blearily and peering up at the toddler now towering over me.
“Wake now?”
“Teddy.” I heard someone else laugh right above my head, and I was quick in the way I looked up, recognising that the warmth I’d been clinging to had been Matty all along. “You’re an actual monster, you know that?”
Teddy squealed happily when Matty tickled his sides, but seemed content with his place on the man’s stomach and the fact that Matty was here at all. 
I wanted to groan at the very idea, I hadn't much thought this through. Not when I’d heard the song, thinking back to the night I’d spent at his, the fight we’d had, the way he’d held Teddy and promised him that things would soon be alright.
It hadn’t felt real. It still didn’t.
“Wake?” Teddy said to me again and I had to give a soft laugh when I felt his finger prod at my cheek, which was probably marked with the line of Matty’s t-shirt now. “Yeah?”
I chuckled again, peering up at him. “Yeah, I’m awake.” I replied, smiling before I rubbed at my eyes.
Matty’s arm seemed to be tucked up under me because it twitched a tad when I moved. I grimaced at the loss of feeling he must have experienced and murmured a quiet “Sorry,” shuffling over slightly so that I could free the limb. But he merely laughed to himself before his hand came up to rub at my arm, keeping me close. 
“It’s fine.” Matty replied, his voice tinged with sleep and grainy from lack of use, but then he winced and flexed his fingers, “Oh.”
I snorted softly and glanced up at him, “Pins and needles?”
His nose wrinkled further, as did his lips when he tilted his head back and tried to shake loose the feeling from his wrist. I let him have his arm back, turning over onto my stomach to simply watch him, drinking in the sight of him whilst I still could.
“Yeah.” He hissed out and Teddy, who was watching too, started to shake his arm alongside Matty.
Matty only noticed the mimicking movement when he felt the toddler shift on his torso and opened his eyes up only to laugh at the way that Teddy was now copying him.
“Oi,” He admonished, using his other hand to playfully pinch at the boy’s side, “What you think you’re doin’?”
Teddy giggled, hair a mess from having just woken but grinning all the while. “Dancin’! Like you!”
I shook my head and bit back my sudden amusement before dropping it down into my hands when I couldn’t quite manage to hide my growing smile.
“Oh, we’re dancing are we?” I heard Matty say, and could feel the grin he probably wore. Then Teddy was laughing again and squirming beside me once more, sounding so happy, before the bed tilted more so to one side and a soft thud was heard. “Oi, where you off to!” Matty asked him whilst Teddy’s giggles still echoed around the space.
“Tele!” Was the only response he got and I listened to the way Teddy’s feet hurried out of the room, having escaped Matty’s merciless tickles.
There was a quiet for a moment before I felt a hand come to cradle my head and fingers card their way through my hair.
I leaned into the touch, savouring it. I didn’t think anyone had ever touched me with such a softness before, like I was something to be treasured, to be held and kept close.
It was a long while before I finally raised my head again, blinking at the sweet sight I was met with. I smiled at the mess his curls were in and the way his eyes squinted in the dim light of the room.
“Hi.” I whispered and his fingers stilled in my hair when he looked back at me. 
Matty didn’t say a thing though, merely shuffled further down the bed, the duvet being kicked somewhere to the bottom before he finally settled in beside me, both our heads now resting on a single pillow.
His fingertips skirted along the edge of my jaw and trailed across the bottom of my lip before his thumb reached out to catch it too, pinching the flesh ever so slightly.
“You snore.” Matty said to me then and my mouth dropped open slightly in offence.
“I do not.”
He snorted to himself, grin widening, “You do.”
I shoved him but his hands were quick to grab at my arms, wrapping them up and moving to press them against his chest. “It’s cool though, they’re cute snores.”
“How the fuck can they be cute, Matty?”
He rolled his eyes at the ask, still grinning away. “Like, just soft and stuff. Don’t stress, I’ve roomed with George and he’s got the lungs of a whale or summat. I could probably sleep next to a fog horn and feel at home.”
A bright laugh escaped me at that, before I was shaking my head gently and looking back at his sleepy smile. “That makes me feel so much better.”
Matty smacked his lips around another grin, shrugging the shoulder that wasn’t pressed to the mattress. He reached out then, brushing a loose strand from out of my face and let his thumb linger on a freckle.
“Your breath stinks as well.”
I bit into my bottom lip at that, narrowing my eyes at him. “Well yours is no better! And besides, you didn’t seem to mind it much last night.”
I went to turn over then but he was hasty in his movements to grab at me, tugging me back towards him, closer this time. I laughed joyfully, “Hey!”
“Hi.” Matty grinned smugly once we'd settled, his hand falling to the small of my back.
I was gripping one of his shoulders now whilst my other arm laid in the little space between us. “I said that already.” I told him, feeling each soft exhale that escaped him. 
He hummed, thumb rubbing circles into my skin. “I missed you, you know.”
My brow furrowed, “You slept right beside me, you muppet.”
He pinched my hip in retaliation and so I chuckled. “You know what I meant.”
I did know.
“Missed you, too.” I murmured, letting my fingertips trail up over the side of his neck, liking the feel of his barely there stubble. “But-”
He stopped me then, nudging my cheek with the tip of his nose, “I know. Later, yeah?”
My eyes fell closed and I hummed in agreement, later was fine. We could talk later.
His hand pressed against the curve of my back, forcing me even closer, and so my fingers worked themselves into his hair. I exhaled softly and tilted my head forward just a touch. He closed the distance between us in a single heartbeat.
Kissing Matty was different, everything about it just felt right in a way that no other kisses ever quite had. Things appeared to click. Fall into place around me. 
But don't get me wrong, it was painful too, because there was that ache in my chest again, the hole that hollowed out my unforgiving heart. I wanted him but at the same time, I was too terrified to reach out and touch.
Our lips brushed, once, twice, then a third time, hesitant and careful, before something shifted and I was taken back to the previous night. To the way his fingers had dug deep into my thighs, to the front door pressing against my spine, to the way he’d held me so weightlessly.
Talking could wait til later, I reminded myself.
Now, all I wanted was for Matty to consume me and I immediately gasped at the cold hand that dragged its way up my side to tease me, thumb brushing against the nipple that hardened beneath it. 
I wouldn’t let him have all the fun though, so without a second thought I rolled him over and settled on his hips. He was surprised by the change but adapted seamlessly, rutting up off the mattress to meet me, one hand still toying with me, taunting, whilst the other cupped the back of my head.
It was back and forth for a short while, mouth chasing mouth, chests heaving with the force of it.
But then, a bang hollowed out the flat.
I jumped at the sudden noise and shot my head over towards the door, listening in closer.
“Okay?” I called out, noting the breathless quality my voice now had. I waited and didn’t move even when Matty’s hands came to just sit on my waist. 
“‘Kay!” I heard Teddy shout back and I released a semi-amused huff before turning back to face the man beneath me, “Sorry.”
And I was. I really was, especially when I forced myself to drop back down onto the bed sheets next to him.
Matty simply chuckled and I glanced over at him, smiling slightly when he reached out to swipe a gentle thumb over the scar on my jaw. “You’re good." I wondered if he was just saying that, but then, "What do you think he’s actually done though? Sounded like the bike to me.”
I sighed at the very thought. The bike had been one of my mum’s many Christmas gifts to Teddy, one which I hardly had any room for in the flat. I silently hoped that it wasn't the bike, but was caught on the way Matty had so easily adapted, moving on without complaint.
Was that normal?
Matty’s hand coaxed me back into looking at him again and I softened when I saw the smile he wore. “Later,” He reminded me, knocking a knuckle against my chin before he withdrew completely, sitting up on the edge of the bed. “How about a fry up then? There's that bakery by the studio or the cafe up near mine, choice is yours but it’s on me.”
“Matty.” I huffed, not a whine but near enough, extending an arm out in hopes that it would call him back to bed.
He smirked, glancing at me from over his shoulder once he'd stood. He dragged a hand through his hair. “Come on, got a growing boy to feed- Teddy too, I 'spose.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help my grin. “You’re an idiot.”
“So you’ve said.” He quipped and I could hear how his laughter filled the flat even as he headed for the bathroom, “Teds get ready, mate! We're getting bacon!”
I fell back onto the mattress with a smile, staring up at the ceiling above me with a little bit of hope.
98 notes · View notes
griffin-girl-r · 5 months
Note
Blackhill requests you say? Dw I got you covered!
Natasha and Maria are both happily married with an 8 year old daughter (r) when r’s dad enters the picture (r was conceived in the red room so he’s a bad guy who Nat had a one night stand with at some point idk)
She's mine
Created: 11.11.2023
Finished: 16.11.2023
Edited: 17.11.2023
Age: 8
Word count: 2,935
Warnings: Homophobia , Mentions of sexual assult , Abandonment , Misogyny
Anymore let me know
Request: Yes (Tumblr user) (@ravensinthedaylight)
Pairings: BlackHill, Natasha Romanoff x Lev Ilyin (Original!Evil!Character) (Past mention)
Natasha and Maria were quietly sitting on the couch in their living room, snuggled closer to each other as their 8-year-old daughter, Y/N, was sandwiched in between the two women.
'Lilo and Stitch', Y/N's favorite movie was playing on the TV and their little girl was absolutely fascinated about everything that was happening in it as if she wasn't seeing this movie for the millionth time.
Natasha had to buy 40 new DVDs with the movie, in the last 7 years since its release, because Y/N watched them so often that they quickly got scratched and, therefore, almost useless.
Natasha could only blame her wife for introducing their daughter to this movie.
Now, truth be told, Maria wasn't actually the other biological parent of Y/N.
Years ago, when Natasha was still a young mere prisoner of her own life, she was forced by the organization that had taken care of her training to have intimate relationships with a man she didn't even know.
More of like, being offered against her own will by the Red Room to one of their men but that is all in the past.
She was ready to keep living with everything that happened to her as long as the only good thing that came out of everything, her daughter, was by her side.
A knock at the front door interrupted Y/N's innocent giggles and the little family looked confused towards the door.
Who could be at the door at this late hour?
"I'm coming!" Maria shouted, carefully moving Y/N's sleepy body, who was using Maria as a pillow, away
"I'll get it." Natasha quickly placed her hand on Maria's arm, stopping her
Maria looked at Natasha for a second and the agent wanted to protest but the reassuring smile the redhead was wearing was too tempting.
"As you wish, my love." Maria smiled back
"I'll be quick." Natasha quickly peaked her wife's lips, then stood up, making her way towards the front door
Natasha opened the front door, unaware of the darkness that was lurking just on the other side of it.
A sickening smirk formed on the face of the man who was standing just in front of the red-headed woman.
"Hello, Natalia." He said "Long time no see. Did you miss me?"
Natasha froze in place for a moment as she took in the sight of the man she never thought she would see again.
Memories of a long-forgotten time had resurfaced in her mind.
She shook her head "No..." Natasha whispered "What are you doing here?"
"Well, you know..." The man began "I came to take back what's mine."
Natasha looked at the man, her eyes widening in shock.
"You are not going to take my daughter away from me!" She protectively declared
"Our daughter, my darling." The man corrected her "Oh, and what makes you think that I'm here just for our daughter?" He chuckled "I am here for you as well, Natalia. You are mine just as much as our daughter is." He stated as a matter of factly "How is she, by the way?"
The man took a step forward, walking uninvited inside Natasha's home, and looked around.
"I bet she grew up a lot in the time I haven't seen her." He added when Natasha hesitated to answer his question
"Leave her alone, Lev." Natasha raised her voice "She's innocent. She doesn't have anything to do with all this madness. I thought you were busy planning the world's dominance. How come you have come for us after all this time? How come that HYDRA let you leave their safe prison."
"How?" Lev chuckled "I was never a prisoner at HYDRA, to begin with, unlike you. I am one of their highest-ranked agents. Why do you think they offered you to me out of all people?" He explained "Now I am here to claim what's mine. And this time, neither you nor our little girl will run away. I will find you anywhere."
Anger raised inside of Natasha just as much as fear built inside her.
She couldn't believe her eyes. She couldn't believe that after all this time, the man who hurt her and took advantage of her body was here to claim something he never took part in.
More specifically, in the raising of Y/N, which he had no right over.
"Just leave us alone." Natasha shouted
"You wish!" Lev laughed sadistically
From inside the living room, Maria's ears picked up on the raising tone of her wife's voice, and her instincts kicked in, telling her to go and check what was happening.
"Stay here, baby." Maria kissed your head "Mom is gonna go and quickly check if Mama is okay out there and see who is at the door."
"Okay, Mom." You replied distracted as your attention was fully focused on the movie
Maria stood up and with one last ruffle of your hair, she made her way towards the front door.
"Honey?" Maria called Natasha confused, as she took in the sight of the unknown man sitting in front of her wife "Are you okay? Who's is he?" She pointed to the man "Were you expecting someone?"
"So this is that so-called wife of yours I've heard about." The man smiled "Well it's nice to meet my replacement but we have to leave, Natalia."
Maria looked confused between Natasha and the man for a second.
"What do you mean you have to leave?" Maria asked "Babe?" She turned her head towards Natasha, waiting for her answer
Natasha looked up from the floor, directly into Maria's eyes and the brunette could see the tears that were present in her wife's eyes, causing Maria's instincts to heighten immediately as a surge of protectiveness overflowed her senses.
When Natasha begged Maria to help her just with one look, Maria pushed Natasha behind her with a swift move.
"I don't know who you are." Maria said, her muscles tensing "But I'll have to ask you to leave. Nicely." Se ordered the man through gritted teeth
"You have no right to tell me to leave." The man laughed "I am here to claim what's mine and you, weak woman, will never be able to make me leave."
Just then, Maria's brain clicked on what was happening and she understood who the man that was standing in front of her was.
"You monster." Maria whispered angrily "I know exactly who you are."
"Well..." The man raised his arms, proud of who he was "It took you some time to figure that out." He sang "I expected you to be smarter than this."
"This is the last time I am asking you nicely to leave this house. That unless you want to have some serious problems." Maria said once again
"Oh, come on." The man chuckled sarcastically "You don't expect me to be afraid of a woman and especially of you, don't you?"
"Well, I wouldn't say the same thing if I were you." Maria tilted her head "I am ready to do anything to protect my family."
"Your family?!" The man shouted "They're mine! I am going to take my belongings and leave."
"They are staying here." Maria protested "You don't even know how my daughter is named, let alone have any right over her. I raised her ever since she was a five-month-old baby. I was the one who changed her diapers, checked for any monsters under her bed, and loved her, not you." She hissed "And the same goes for my wife. She's mine for a reason."
From the corner of her eye, Maria saw some movement right behind her, and she saw the man's smirk growing wider.
"Aha, my sweet girl!" The man cheerfully exclaimed "I finally came home. Are you excited to see me?"
Y/N silently peeked at the man from behind her moms.
"Mama?" You called shyly "Who's that?" You pointed towards the man
"No one, baby." Natasha quickly tried to make you leave "Just go back to the movie, okay? Me and Mom will be there very soon."
"Mom?" Lev raised his eyebrow "There is no such thing as another mom. I am your other parent, sweetheart." The man tried to tempt you in a sweet tone "I came here so you could have a normal family. I am your Dad." He declared
"Dad?" You asked confused, looking up towards Natasha "I have no dad. I have Mama and Mom. I already have two parents."
"Well, your parents must be a mom and a dad, not two moms." Lev tried to turn you against your mothers
"But, I love my moms." You innocently declared "They love me and we're always having fun. And Mom always carries me on her shoulders and buys me ice cream, while Mama reads me bedtime stories and gives me the best hugs in the world."
But just before you got to finish your sentence, the man snatched you away by your arm and forcefully held you in place.
You let out a terrified scream as tears quickly made their way down your cheeks.
"Mama!" You screamed out in fear, begging Natasha to help you
"Leave her alone!" Natasha screamed as she tried to grab you back from the men, but she didn't manage to "My baby!"
"Leave my child alone!" Maria threatened "That's my daughter you're holding there. You just don't get it."
"These two girls are mine! And she's coming with me." He pointed towards you
"She's mine!" Maria shouted as she grabbed your other arm quickly and pulled you towards her with all her force, causing the man to loosen his grip on you "They are both mine!" Maria declared as she quickly shoved you behind her to shield you from anything, just as she has done with Natasha "I don't know what's the reason behind your actions and what your evil plan is, but you must leave right now!"
Lev, in a fraction of a second, lifted his arm and punched Maria in the face.
Natasha let out a horrified gasp, her hands instinctively flying to her mouth to cover it in order to muffle any sound.
"Mom!" You screamed, afraid that your mom was badly hurt
"It's okay, kid. Mom is okay." Maria reassured you as she looked towards the man "So, you want to fight?" She nodded, taking a deep breath "Alright then, that's what you'll get."
And just like that, Maria delivered a punch back towards the man and a fight started.
Natasha wanted to help her wife, but she also knew that you needed protection and reassurance as she took two steps backward, shielding you with her body.
Kicks and punches were thrown around from both sides and just as the fight was getting more violent, a blowing sound was heard and the door of their house was slammed open.
"S.H.I.E.L.D., get down!" A deep voice shouted as agents armed with weapons burst inside their home
"This won't end like this!" Lev shouted as he tried to fight his restraints, just as S.H.I.E.L.D.'s agents escorted him away
"We'll see about that, Lev Ilyin!" Maria shouted behind him before she quickly turned her attention back to her wife and daughter "You're okay." She said in a rushed but reassuring voice "Everything is okay now, my sweethearts." The brunette woman pulled you and your mama in her arms "No one's ever gonna be able to take you away from me, I'm here and I will always protect you, you both are mine and no one else's."
Your small whimpers broke both Maria and Natasha's hearts.
Natasha held you tightly in her arms "It's okay, baby, it's okay. You're okay." Natasha kissed the top of your head and you hid your face in her stomach
Your cries slowly turned into quiet sniffs as you basked in the protection you felt from both your mothers as Maria protectively held you and Natasha closer to her.
"You're both okay." Maria whispered "We're all okay."
Natasha raised her head and looked at her wife's face, a gasp escaping the redhead's lips.
"Masha, you're hurt!" Natasha worriedly looked at Maria's bruised face and raised her hand to touch her wife's cheek
Maria tenderly grabbed Natasha's hand, stopping her from touching her cheek.
"It's okay, my love." Maria reassured "It's nothing. I just need a little bit of care from you and our little princess and I'll be all healed in no time."
"I'm sorry." Natasha whispered on the verge of crying "I never expected to see him again."
"None of that!" Maria sternly declared "You have no fault in this. Okay?"
"But Maria..." Natasha began before sighing when she saw the look on Maria's face and the spy changed the subject "How did the agents show up just on time?"
"Well, I kind of activated the alarm I have on my bracelet and they were alerted when I realized who Lev was." Maria shrugged her shoulders as if it wasn't such a big deal
"You sneaky agent." Natasha chuckled, a gleam of proudness shining in her eyes
"Well, what can I say?" Maria tried to sniffle her laughter "I am prepared for any situation."
But just as they hugged again, the sweet moment of the small family of three was interrupted by Nick Fury, who walked inside the room holding a file in his hand.
"Agent Hill. Agent Romanoff." He nodded, greeting the women "I want to thank you for catching one of the most wanted criminals on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s list.
"Well, you know..." Maria turned annoyed towards Fury, angry that he disturbed their moment "He kind of messed up with my family. I had to do something about it."
"As a thanks, I have a very special mission for you both." Fury stated "I need your help and you have just proven to me that you're both fit for this mission."
Natasha sighed, rolling her eyes "I knew there was something about you showing up here, Nick, not just because of Lev Ilyin."
"You know me, Agent Romanoff." He stated unimpressed, extending his hand towards them, offering them the file "Ilyin is just another trophy to our collection."
The couple grabbed the file from his hand and Natasha opened it, looking at the name of their next target that was written on the first page with big, bold letters.
"Tony Stark?" Maria asked confused "Isn't he that annoying, reckless man who thinks he's smart just because he has money and who wears sunglasses at parties that take place at night?"
"You couldn't have described Stark better, Agent Hill." Fury nodded "That's why I need Agent Romanoff to infiltrate inside his company. You have all the information there. You're getting a new alias and your mission is to protect him as danger is too close to him right now. We need to take action or the next events will have a turn for the worst if we don't intervene in this." He explained before adding "For the whole globe, not just for Stark."
"Consider it done." Natasha nodded, accepting the mission
"I promise you both, you won't regret helping with this mission." Fury looked in between the two women
"We hope we won't, Sir." Maria squinted her eyes
And just like that, Fury turned around and left without adding any other word.
Maria peeked at the page where all the details about Natasha's new identity were and quickly scanned the page with her eyes, reading the important details.
"Well, I see he didn't think too much about a new name." Maria said teasingly "Come on! Natalie Rushman? He could do better than that. And you were supposed to be a model?" She chuckled "No way!"
"Oh, shut up." Natasha playfully smacked Maria's arm "Let's just leave the mission for another time, okay? I have enough time later to study this role."
"All right, Miss Rushman." Maria laughed, wrapping her arms around Natasha's shoulders while taking a gentle hold of Y/N's small hand "I think we had a movie to watch."
"Stitch!" You cheered excitedly
"Yeah, baby, Stitch!" Natasha lovingly smiled down at you as you all made your way back to the living room
That night, Maria lay awake in the bed she and her wife shared.
Natasha and their daughter were sound asleep as today's events drained them out of energy.
The brunette agent turned on her side with a sigh and scanned the faces of her two loves in the darkness.
"No one will ever be able to take you away from me." Maria whispered "I promise you both that we will forever be a family regardless of our past or of what other people might think about us."
Maria slowly leaned closer and kissed your cheek.
"You're so loved, Y/N." The brunette whispered in your ear "And so are you, Tasha." She also pressed a gentle kiss against Natasha's cheek "You're my blessings and I'm the luckiest woman in the world to have you both."
What happened today, helped not only Natasha and Maria, but also you, to realize how lucky you were to have each other and on how much love your small family was actually built on.
Maria vowed to fight until her last breath, just so she could keep you and Natasha safe, as her love for her girls knew no bounds.
And just as Stitch has said.
'Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.'
And a true family is built on love, not blood.
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colliecharms · 3 months
Text
thinkin 'bout me
River x gn!Reader
summary: River can't stand being away from you.
content & warnings: one shot // MILD sexual content
word count: 916
a/n: this was kind of a spur-of-the-moment-type thing. i'm new to writing about sexual themes so pls bear with me. hope u enjoy! 🫶
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Your phone lights up with its text chime ringing out in your room. You pick it up to see River’s text:
 hey
You smile.
Hey baby, what’s up?
i miss you
It had been a few days since you had last seen her, but even a few days was too long.
I miss you too, I wish you were here
can i come over?
The 10:30 mark on the clock threatened to keep you from letting her drive to your house. It was late and raining, and you did not want her to get out in the stirring weather.
It’s raining and dark Riv, I don’t want you getting out. What if I come see you tomorrow morning?
i need you now baby. please.
You let out a sigh to yourself, knowing how stubborn River could be when she wanted something.
Ok fine, what about Jade?
mads is watching her, i’ll be there in 10
Kay, be careful
Before you know it, you hear a knock at your front door. Turning the lock, you open it to see River’s silhouette against the blurring streetlights. She does not take another wasted moment and falls into you, her arms securing your waist. You close the door behind her, but instead of getting a word out, she locks your lips with her own.
“Baby, what is it?” you question once you both part, noticing her desperate behavior.
“I told you,” she started, now bringing up her hand to hook the back of your neck before finishing with, “I just missed you.”
A soft smile pulls at your lips. “It’s been three days.” While holding her, you take in her calming scent that is overpowering the rain droplets shimmering in her hair.
“I know, but it feels like it’s been forever,” River breathes and pulls you into another kiss. This time she held you in for a little longer. Your hands slide down to wrap her waist, tracing her curves that hid beneath her oversized shirt.
Upon breaking contact, you hear a sigh of relief leave her and chuckle. “You’re so needy.” This finally brings that gorgeous smile to her face.
“Shut up,” she giggles and gently shoves your shoulder.
“Facts is facts,” you tease further, giving her side a playful pinch. Receiving a squeal in return, you kiss her once more.
The pattering rain fades into a roar which beckons the irresistible urge within River to escalate. She grabs your hand and leads you over to the living room sofa. When she sits you down, you move in time with her while she straddles your hips, seating herself on top of your thighs. Your hands hold her waist while hers jump to your neck. You feel her fingers run up the back of your head, and a moan slips past your defense.
“Can you handle me, y/n?” River asks in between breaths.
You move to pull at the hem of her shirt. “I’m up for the challenge.” You are met halfway and she rids her shirt from her body, tossing it to the floor before going for your own.
“You better be.”
One thing leads to another before the two of you are stripped of everything but your undergarments and are getting deeper into the stormy night’s embrace. This time, you take control. Pulling her onto the cushions, you flip around to crouch over her as she lays beneath you. Your mouth waters at the sight of her pale, velvet skin glowing in the dim lighting. Her lips capture you in long but breaking kisses to start off and get more and more wanting. You then duck your head to plant sucking kisses to her neck as her digits curl in your hair.
“God, I’ve missed you, baby,” River grunts, slightly arching her spine at the sensitivity pricking her skin’s nerves when your teeth graze her collarbone. She tightens her thighs around you to stabilize your position over her.
You thought she was the needy one, but now, she was making you second-guess your teasing. You realized just how much you missed hearing her calming voice, feeling her comforting warmth, and holding her slender figure. “You have no idea,” you breathe.
Retracing your trail of pecks back up to her lips, River’s aggression boils with wet kisses and subtle moans. Her black nails drag across your shoulder blades, sending a shiver to pierce your spine. “Easy, kitty,” you whisper.
“Did you just call me a fucking cat?” she chuckles and you laugh.
Whilst occupied, you reach for her bra strap and tug it down so it slips off her shoulder. This contact makes her back arch. As her chest presses up against yours, you take the time to remove the other black strap to leave it loose.
Once she catches up with you, you sit up, and she unclips the back of her bra to throw it to the side.
You both resituate, now laying your lower-half on top of hers. The heat from her body has you falling into her faster than before. Your heartrate increases and a warm bubbling begins to stir in your lower belly. As you gaze down at River, the lust in her eyes reflect in yours like pure crystal. Damn, were you glad you agreed to having her over, and the night was just getting started.
Leaning close to her ear, you nuzzle her jawline with a soft, tempting growl. “Now, show me what you came here for.”
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inkyquince · 7 months
Note
please inky, continue w your thought about ex-husbands and divorce.. pleaseee expand omfg your mind is so big i just wanna chomp on it 😞
ASJODDJAIJS
characters. Avery. Remy. Bailey. (Degrees of Lewdity)
yeah, so content warning, toxic behaviour, mention of sex after some wine so that's hinted to be dubcon as hell, angst, especially with mister Hay Bales. also bailey's section has a shit ton of coercion, and its implied reader is remarried.
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okay, so camp "I signed, but I'm mad now" of divorced husband is very much Avery, Remy, Bailey vibes.
So, Avery didn't MEAN to sign the papers. He was just so fucking seething that he did it out of spite. Fucking throwing the papers at you and tells you to get the fuck out of his house. What I love about Avery, at any moment, he could be in either camp, ngl. Either he'd fight for his reputation, and would never even let you show him the papers, or you get him so riled up, he does it out of pure anger and wanting revenge.
Anyways, his rep does take a blow, but he doesn't care, mans is running off pure spite for the entirety of the divorce proceedings. The moment he realises he needs to pay alimony? Wishes that he could go over to you and throttle you.
But when that anger simmers down? When he's gotten his fill of booze, whore and spite?
Mans is fucking LONELY. He's still angry, but its just general anger at the situation. Look, if you were still an orphan, he'd just get a new sugar baby. Who give a shit. Yeah, it undoes the work he did on you and he doesn't look as forward to date nights as he did, but this is different. You were his spouse. His ex-spouse now, but his spouse. He bared his fucking soul to you. You two had a good fucking life. Just had a few issues he refused to look at. You two were the perfect couople in the town's eyes, how would they have reacted to you two going to counselling?
It's too late though. He swings widly between being a fucking monster of an ex, forcing you to go back to the house to "pick up some stuff" and telling the town that you cheated on him, that's why you two divorced, to sending you gifts on your anniversary and your birthday. Phones you at night, and his voice is so low and sweet, and murmuring that he misses you.
Worse than Avery? Remy.
Remy is the rich bitch town icon that Avery wishes he was. He has you sign a prenup, then you get to live his fucking wealthy ass life. He's a cold ass fucker, so when you want to work on the marriage, he snidely mentions if you don't like it, leave him. Then he's shocked-face when you do. Then to get back at you, he's the one who gets the divorce papers. To get back at him, you sign them. To get back at you, he signs them. To get back at him, you file them.
To get back at you, motherfucker makes sure you get nothing from him in the divorce.
After all the stupid ass shit he pulls, he's fucking annoyed now. You were his other half, the only person he'd ever kneel down for. So, he's a frigid little bitch of an ex husband. But he's also such a fucker.
Like, he's will be so aloof and cold with you, and then idly offer a glass of wine to share when you have to come over to sign for some stuff. Evening ends with him three fingers deep in you, stroking you the way you like it, sucking at your neck greedily.
The treatment he gives you, when its just the two of you, is like the shiny red apple he would hold up to your lips. This is what you could have. But his behaviour away from those times is the stick. This is what you get for leaving him. Trying to usher you back into the estate and spread your legs for him, and only him again.
Bailey? Bailey. Bailey gives the vibes that you two married very young. When there was a spark of hope, and with very few good things in his life, he made sure to put a ring on the one thing that did.
However, he changes over time, becoming the ruthless caretaker of the orphanage, a terrifying criminal, and a worse man. You weren't a soft spot, you were a vulnerable one. Bailey would have had to have some sort of gentleness to him if you were a soft spot. You were a weakness, an achilles heel had had to smother and keep hiddden.
And sadly, that is no way to live.
So seperation. Then divorce. Then he doesn't show up to the court appointment. He pays alimony. He doesn't blink at anything, just takes it in stride, sometimes sneering at you.
But he isn't explosive. He isn't cold. He's just Bailey.
You see him once a month, coming to deliver your half of the money each time. You doubt it's just to see you again, even when you move on with your life and he stays in the orphanage you two always used to hate, and plan to escape from. Maybe its because he enjoys the looks the bankers give you when you have to pull out a shit ton of ironed out bills, taken from his orphans' hands, and put directly into yours.
But, you're still his. Your life hasn't changed at all from when you two were together. The only difference is that he no longer spends two or three nights sleeping next to you anymore.
Because you can't say no to Bailey.
You could be wearing a wedding ring, you could be tired from staying up with your baby, you could be so far into a new, happier life, but it doesn't matter. He doesn't trust whores, paid or not, he hates clubbing, and even with the most tender of sore spots, all they need it a slow, gentle massage.
So you have to drop everything for him. He doesn't give a shit what you could be doing. Bailey has an ache that needs seeing to. Fuck it, he'd go to your house, or get a room, but wouldn't force you back to the orphanage, at least for a long time.
You let him into your body again and again, his rough thrusts no different than when you two still shared a wedding ring. He bites your shoulder, he presses your face into the pillows, and spanks your thighs with his belt.
You never dared to tell him that you won't be able to join him for this stress relievers he seems to rely on. God knows what he'd do. Not to you, you don't take a screw driver to your knee when your sore spot acts up, but everything around you? Your spouse, your job, your life?
So you let him in.
One day he does demand that you go to the orphanage again. You could fight it all you want, but you have to go. There, he fucks you in the attic, just like that time all those years ago, and you decided he was the one you wanted to give your virginity to.
It's the closest he gets to whispering that he wants you back.
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fandoms-writings · 9 months
Note
For your requests, how about "You're not as bad as everyone says you are."  with biker!Bucky? Only if it sparks ✨ inspiration ✨ for you my love ❤️❤️
I know this prompt was under fluff but this turned out wayyyy more angsty than I intended - i'm sorry lol
Pairing: biker!bucky x reader
Word count: 1.2K
Warnings: angsty, a look at bucky's internal turmoil, they're going through it right now, descriptions of the aftermath of the nefarious things bucky has to do but nothing too descriptive. bucky's really sad in this i'm sorry
Masterpost || Bucky Masterlist || Event Post
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When Bucky had to do the unthinkable for the club, he had a certain 'ritual' to help him cope with it. 
You'd come up with it actually, something to help him not spiral into the self hatred that his actions could bring. Keeping his head above the sea of nasty words his self conscious liked to try and drown him with.
He'd come home, his choices from the day wearing down his shoulders, making him drag himself into the bedroom where he'd peel off his leather cut and toss it to the chair in the corner. Usually he'd sit there hunched over his knees for hours, stuck in a mental spiral, replaying the events from the day. Screams echoing in his ears. A stickiness to his fingers, his nails and knuckles stained red. 
But in times like this, when you weren't speaking to him, he'd remember what you would do.
You'd pull him into the shower, washing the day off of him before making him eat a sugary snack, something sweet to get the endorphins going again. Then you'd sit him down on the couch with the show he loved watching with you and you'd snuggle up to him, combing your hands through the length of his hair, scratching his scalp. 
He looked around the room, traces of you still there. Your necklace on the nightstand. A sweater discarded in the same chair his cut lay. One of your bandanas that you'd wear under your helmet tied to the bed frame. 
And your helmet. 
It sat out on the dining table, untouched in almost two weeks - since you went back to your place saying you needed time. 
He understood. You had every right to be mad at him, he just wished he knew how to fix it. 
But being late to date night and showing up a bloody mess is kind of hard to fix. 
So, he sighed, gathering himself before he stood and headed to the shower. He peeled his clothes off, leaving them in a mess on the floor while he got under the water - he would deal with them later, it was one thing at a time right now. 
With you not being here, he liked using just a little bit of the soap you'd left, it being the only way he got to smell you until you came back - if you came back. He stood under the water, watching the suds and pink droplets swirl down the drain as the look of disappointment on your face flashed in his mind. 
He hadn't meant to forget about date night, he really didn't. He'd just gotten roped into some club business, and when he tried to explain it to you, you shook your head. The anger in your eyes was unlike anything he'd ever seen - he'd never see you mad before and it'd frozen his feet in their place. 
"If this is going to work," You'd gestured between the two of you, throwing your bag over your shoulder, open, "you need to figure out how to balance club life and our life. I'm not going to be the girl waiting for you to come home in one piece, if at all." 
"I can't just not handle business when it needs to be handled," He'd argued, his tone rising in his heart's cry for you to put your bag down and stay. "I can't abandon the club when they need me." 
"That's not the problem," you pushed past him, "You didn't call, you didn't text. I was at the restaurant for two hours, James. Two." You turned and pointed to him, "You abandoned me tonight."
"I'm sorry, okay?" He followed you around the house as you gathered random things of yours, shoving them in your duffle bag, "I'll make sure to call next time." 
"Next time?" You spun on him, a look of bewilderment in your irises, "You're assuming there's a next time?"
Dread filled his chest as he swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. Suddenly, it didn't matter what he was going to say. He just wanted you to stay, not to leave. Not to leave him. 
"Bucky I was left at that table, in the dress you picked out," You shoved a finger in his chest, "for two hours while you were off doing whatever it is that you do." Your hand gestured to the red stains on his pants. "And you'll never tell me what you're doing out there, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out it's dangerous." 
He waited as you took a breath, zipping up your bag with a huff as your shoulders shook. 
"I'm sorry," He muttered again but your head shook. 
"I don't care," You turned to him with tears in your eyes, "You can be sorry all you want. But I didn't even know if you were coming home at all tonight. Or if you were headed to the morgue in a body bag." 
It was that comment that punched him in the gut, and still replayed in his mind when things were too quiet. You weren't really mad about date night. He was supposed to be your calm, your safe space. He wasn't supposed to cause you anything but happiness and pleasure. But he hadn't even given you the courtesy to call you and tell you what was going on. 
You walked out after that, saying you needed time to figure out if you wanted to come back at all, and as the days passed, he was starting to think your side of the bed would remain cold forever. 
You were it for him, he didn't want anyone else, and he never would - he knew that.
But on nights like this, while he scrubbed the blood out from under his nails, he wondered if you knew it. 
Did you know how far gone he was for you? How he'd do anything for you, that if it wasn't you in his life, it was no one. 
He wondered if he could have both. You and this life he'd created. You, in your tender adoration. The way you cared for him. Loved him. And his life with the club. Being part of a stronghold like that. Being a nightmare for some. Seeing the things he did. Doing the things he had to. Making the necessary decisions no matter how morally questionable they were.
He knew people talked badly about him around you, warning you to stay away from him. That he was dangerous. A bad man. And he knew some of it was true. 
He was dangerous, not trusted by most. 
But you told him something once, the first time you'd seen him come home from club business covered in bruises and blood, seeing the internal turmoil those choices caused him. 
"You're not as bad as everyone says you are."
With those words replacing the agony that had been swirling his head, he gets out of the shower, drying off and getting dressed with a purpose. 
He was going to see you, and make sure you know you're it for him, no matter what. As long as you know that, your choice is yours.
But first, he needs to pick up a sweet treat. He decides he'll pick up your favorite. 
Maybe, if things work out, you'd share it with him. 
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