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solena2 · 3 years

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So.

Tommy isn’t Theseus. Every time I see Techno’s analogy about Tommy being Theseus brought up I’m filled with endless rage and I’ve DECIDED!

That it’s about time I explained just why it’s so objectively incorrect.

First: a bit of backstory on Theseus, because I doubt many of you actually know much about him beyond what Techno said in his “so you want to be a hero” speech, which left out a lot of relevant details.

Theseus was a demigod with two fathers and one mother. His fathers were king Aegeus of Athens and the sea god Poseidon, and his mother was Aethra, Aegeus’ wife. Aethra raised Theseus on her own, far from Athens to avoid him being assassinated.

Aegeus left him nothing but a sword with the Athenian crest and a pair of sandals, buried under a rock so no one else could get them.

When Theseus came of age, he took the sword and sandals and headed up to Athens, slaying various monsters along the way. (It pains me to abbreviate it that much, but Techno left out everything before the Minotaur so it won’t help me much in debunking his analogy.)

Once he got to Athens, he met up with his dad, chased out his stepmom Medea, (yes, that Medea) and killed some people. Then comes the relevant part.

Crete had won a war against Athens a while back, and because of this, every seven years Athens was forced to send 14 tributes to be killed by the Minotaur. (Yes, this inspired the Hunger Games)

Theseus decided he’d volunteer and kill the Minotaur, thus ending the tribute system for good and getting one over on Athens. He promised his dad that if he won, he’d come back in a ship with white sails, as opposed to the standard mourning black that signified the death of the tributes.

So he went to Crete, met king Minos and his daughters Ariadne and Phaedra, and got sent into the labyrinth. Ariadne gave him a magic ball of string that kept him from getting lost, allowing him to find the Minotaur and then safely get out afterwards, providing he could kill it.

He killed it, led his other 13 tributes out, and sailed back home. On the way, Athena told him to leave Ariadne stranded on a tiny island in the middle of the ocean, so he immediately did so, because Theseus was an asshole.

He got home, his dad committed suicide because Theseus forgot the white sails and his dad assumed he’d died, Theseus became king and married Phaedra, and then the fun began, because again, Theseus was an asshole.

First, he cheated on Phaedra with Hippolyta, queen of the Amazons, so she left and took the kids. Next, he and his other asshole friend Pirithous decided to kidnap themselves some new wives. Theseus decided on Helen of Troy, who was a child at the time, and Pirithous decided on Persephone, which resulted in both him and Theseus getting stuck in the Underworld for a while due to pissing off Hades.

Once he got back up, he killed his son for fucking his wife, which is messed up on many levels, and then left Athens because his people were rightfully not super okay with that.

Then he goes and meets Lycomedes, who throws him off a cliff.

Next, let’s talk about Techno’s speech a bit.

He starts off by accusing Tommy of being a power hungry dictator (paraphrased), before asking him if he wants to be a hero.

Then, he provides what is apparently the archetypal example of heroism, something often associated with selflessness, kindness, and generally giving at least one singular solitary fuck about other people.

Theseus! Heroic hero who does heroic things, like, uhhh *checks notes* cheating on his wife, kidnapping children with plans to forcefully marry them, leaving people alone on tiny islands with no supplies, killing his kid, etc. etc...

So we’re off to a great start.

Then, he gives a short summary of Theseus’ life and times! He skips the first part of his life completely, which is hilarious to me because it’s the only time Theseus ever did anything actually heroic or selfless, and gets straight to the meat!

“Let me tell you a story, Tommy. A story of a man called Theseus. His country was in danger, he sent himself forward! Into enemy lines. He slayed the Minotaur! And saved his city. You know what they did to him, Tommy? They exiled him. He died in disgrace, despised by his people. That’s what happens to heroes, Tommy.”

-Technoblade

So first off, he doesn’t mention... really anything other than the Minotaur and the exile, which is leaving out a lot of relevant details, like why Theseus was exiled. (You know, killing his son in cold blood?)

Second, he doesn’t give details in general. Not that he should’ve given a full telling, or anything, but I’m always surprised by the shortness of this speech when I go back and listen to it. He pretty much just gives the barest bones of an argument and expects his audience to take it at face value. (Which they do, but it’s still bad practice)

From the more accurate (if still brief) summary if Theseus’ life I’ve just given, I’m sure you can see why this might be more than a bit dubious, as an analogy. Given cc!Technoblade is literally an English major, and doubtless knows significantly more about the myth than I do, I’d imagine this was never intended to be taken at face value.

Over and over again, c!Techno proves himself to be an unreliable narrator, and over and over again, the fandom at large takes his word as gospel.

Now, as far as a more in depth argument for Tommy as Theseus goes, I will attempt to debunk that as well, because there are some genuinely good points to be made.

First of all, most people make Dream out to be the Minotaur. Given the time this speech was made, I imagine Schlatt was the intended target of that, but with latter events in mind, Dream does make much more sense.

I’d say this is honestly pretty fair, but I don’t think Tommy takes the role of Theseus in that narrative. I’d argue he’s much more analogous to the role of Ariadne, giving the tools required to defeat Dream but ultimately not doing so through his own power, but because someone chose to take those tools and make use of them. This also provides the very interesting characterization of Punz as Theseus, which is an incredibly unique take that I hope some a Punz enthusiast does something with, because I don’t know enough about his lore to make a good analysis on that.

The idea of Schlatt as the Minotaur, as was probably intended by Techno at the time, makes much more sense, though I still think other characters fit the role better. Firstly, Schlatt wasn’t killed, he died of a heart attack, and if someone had killed him I think it’s more likely to have been Wilbur or Techno who did it than Tommy, as Tommy was still very hopeful and idealistic at the time, at least compared to his character now. You could posit Tommy as Ariadne again in this situation, given he was the one to mastermind the final charge, and though I think Tommy as Ariadne is an idea that’s worth further exploration, I’d say Fundy futs the Ariadne role here much better, with him giving the spy’s diary before being effectively shunned and left out in the cold by both Pogtopia and Manburg, much like Ariadne was abandoned in the original myth.

I’d posit the Theseus in this scenario as Techno, Wilbur, or possibly Philza, as they were the ones to actually kill things in the 16th, though Techno and Wilbur’s killings were more in the metaphorical sense, taking the second life of L’manburg.

As for the exile, Tommy exile was alike to that of Theseus only in concept. Both were sent from their kingdoms for a crime, resulting in a falling out with someone close to them, and had a precarious relationship with heights while they were gone, but that’s about where the similarities end and even then they’re superficial.

First of all, Tommy’s exile was far more because Dream was looking for an excuse to do it than because briefing actually means anything on the SMP, given how Dream had been griefing bases and blaming Tommy for it for a while before it went down. (Fun fact, Bad and Skeppy were going to burn one of his discs over this, but one of them got sick so they had to cancel the stream.)

Theseus’ exile, on the other hand, was entirely deserved, especially when you consider how serious a crime killing family was in Ancient Greek culture. It was pretty much the biggest no-no in existence, and I’m almost surprised he wasn’t just straight up executed for it.

Second, Tommy’s falling out with Tubbo was almost entirely due to outside forces, (Dream) rather than because anything Tommy had done. Though Tommy’s cavalierness towards the trial and attempts to threaten Dream with Spirit doubtless didn’t help things, Dream surrounding L’manburg in obsidian walls and threatening them to exile Tommy was entirely his own choice, and not something that can be pinned on Tommy, no matter what the apologists may say.

Meanwhile, Theseus’ falling out with Phaedra had begun long before his exile with him cheating on her. Him killing his son was merely the last in a long line of dominos to completely destroy their relationship.

Last, Tommy nearly killing himself is very different from Theseus being pushed off a cliff. Tommy’s near suicide was the direct result of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of c!Dream for what was canonically, I believe, several months? (Correct me if I’m wrong on that one.) Tommy almost jumping off a pillar because he was deliberately isolated from his support systems is nothing like Theseus being killed because he was a cocky asshole who thought he was god.

So that’s why I don’t think Tommy is anything like Theseus, and why I’m filled with endless rage by the completely uncritical acceptance of this parallel, but it’s not the whole reason it pisses me off.

It also pisses me off because, as stated earlier, cc!Techno is an English major. He knew what he was doing with this. The fandom’s insistence on refusing to acknowledge his character as an unreliable narrator is, in my opinion, acting as a massive kneecap to what could be a great analysis of how he thinks.

Specifically: why does c!Technoblade think Tommy is like Theseus?

Of all the Greek heroes to pick, why that one? Was it just the tantalizing opportunity to parallel Schlatt with a horned monster, or was it because c!Techno has some genuine in-character reason to think this myth specifically applies to Tommy.

Now, we all know people in the SMP have a habit of analogizing Wilbur and Tommy. The assumption Tommy wanted to be president, the belief that Tommy nominated Tubbo directly, the belief that he was intentionally deceiving Techno about Pogtopia’s intentions regarding Manburg... all of these stem from Wilbur. There are more cases of this, of course, but several analyses have been done in the subject already, and this is long enough without more padding.

So why does Techno think Tommy is Theseus? Well, it’s simple, isn’t it?

Wilbur is Theseus.

To be continued, because this is already too long and my brain hurts.

#original post #dream smp #dream smp analysis #technoblade #tommyinnit #technoblade critical #(i guess. honestly I didn’t say much about techno himself in this but just to be safe)#dsmp #dsmp analysis #dream smp meta #dsmp meta #my writing #can you tell i don’t like Theseus much #hated to leave out his early life stuff because it’s genuinely super interesting but it wasn’t really relevant so I had to cut it :(#if you want a more detailed description of Theseus I’d recommend the rick riordan book on Greek heroes #it’s not the most scholarly work but it gives the bare bones of the myths in an accessible way that doesn’t take an English degree to read #call me a fake nerd if you want but I like the humor and digestibility #there are typos in this post and I Do Not Care

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athenasbloodyspear · 3 years

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Say Something to Stop Me: Chapter 9

Writing Master List | Say Something to Stop Me Master List

(There’s a double asterisk ** at one point in the story, I recommend playing the song I mention “Every Step You Take” by The Police as you read if that’s your thing! It’s what I wrote the rest of the scene to and I think it just makes it feel like a movie.)

Dr. Cho did end up having to put a few stitches in Bucky’s eyebrow and it turns out he was hiding some nasty bruises under his shirt. He looked like he’d gone through a meat tenderizer. The bullet proof vest he wore kept most of the shots from being fatal, but the smattering of bullet shaped bruises on his chest nearly tore you in two.

You sat in a chair across the room and watched as Helen finished his stitches and felt around on his chest for any broken ribs or potential internal bleeding. You found yourself just staring at him while they ran various diagnostics. He was definitely worse for wear, but he was so unbelievably beautiful that you felt your heart squeeze in your chest.

It was funny, this dynamic between you two. A push and pull that you hadn’t experienced before. It was like when you worked together on missions. When one of you moved, the other adjusted to fill the space you had left. When he had needed your calming touch and level head, you’d been able to provide it for him.

It struck you then, how long you’d been living in a relationship that was only push, no pull. You’d let someone dictate your emotions, your reactions and responses to nearly everything. You had shoved yourself into a box for him, trying to fit exactly how he wanted you.

Bucky let you be exactly how you needed to be in each moment. He stepped in to fill holes and support you where you needed it, but stepped away and let you go when he knew you could stand on your own.

He trusted you.

You trusted him.

You loved him.

After they’d finished, Tony told him to get his ass cleaned up and to bed.

“And I mean sleep Barnes. If you rip those stitches because you can’t keep your hands off her, I won’t let anyone come close them and you’ll have to restitch them yourself.”

You let Bucky rest most of his weight on you as you helped get him back to his room. At this point you knew that there was no risk of Bucky ripping those stitches. He needed sleep badly.

You assisted as he peeled his bloodied pants and boots from his body, then held under his arms as he slowly lowered himself into the bath, being careful to keep his right arm above water. Everytime he winced in pain you felt a sting in your own chest.

He’d be fine, you knew. He healed abnormally fast. That didn’t make the moments of his pain hurt any less to watch.

After he’d finally lowered himself into the steaming water, you’d told him to lay back and relax while you rinsed and lathered his hair and scrubbed at his neck and chest to remove the layers of sweat and dried blood. Then you’d gotten him dried off and dressed in pajamas before helping him curl up in his bed.

He was asleep before you could even pull the covers up to tuck him in.

~0~

The next few weeks passed quietly. Sam was mostly bed ridden, so you and Bucky spent a lot of time in his room generally bothering him and making him wish he could heal faster just so he could get away from you both and your endless supplies of one-liners.

One night, you both helped him make the long trip to the common area under the guise of a change in scenery. Really, Peter wanted to keep watching the Fast and Furious movies and making Sam watch his least favorite movies when he didn’t have the ability to leave on his own was hilarious.

Were you terrible people? Maybe.

Sam did admit he would have done the same thing if given the chance.

Pretty much everyone joined in. Steve had helped Nat up from her room. She was in much better shape than Sam and was pretty much 100%, but Steve stayed close to her most days claiming that just because she seemed better didn’t mean something couldn’t happen to her.

Wanda and Vision came to watch the movies as well, which ended up being the best part of the experience. Vision kept pointing out the flawed logic in many of the action scenes and Wanda kept trying to patiently explain to him that the movies weren’t intended to be logical. Vision's distress nearly made Peter pee his pants laughing.

When you were taking a snack break between Fast Five and the 6th installment, Tony wandered into the kitchen slowly. Looking at his hands.

“Hey kid. Can you come chat over here a second.”

“Uh. Sure Tony.”

You stood from the couch, having to untangled yourself from Bucky’s hold, and sauntered to the kitchen island.

“How you feeling, kid?” Tony asked.

“Fine…” You murmured. “What’s going on?”

“Uh. Nothing major. Just trying to gauge how you’re doing emotionally before I say what I have to say.” Tony was looking at pretty much anywhere but you, fiddling with spoons and forks that were on the counter.

“Out with it Tony.”

“Uh…” Tony hedged. “Well I just want you to know that Elijah…” He trails off.

Saying his name is enough for everyone in the room to suddenly quiet and look in your direction.

“Just say it Tony. I’m fine. What about him?”

Bucky gets up from the couch and takes a few steps toward you before stopping a few feet from the two of you. The rest of the group stays where they’re seated, staring.

“Elijah’s dead.” Tony finally finishes.

It takes a moment to fully process that thought. You really hadn’t been prepared to hear anything about him today, let alone that he was dead.

“He’s what?” You whisper.

“I’ve had an agent tailing him since that day in Brooklyn.” Tony says softly. “I just got word that he’s dead.”

You whip your head up to look at Bucky.

“I swear to god it wasn’t me.” Bucky says, holding his hands up in surrender. “But when I do find out who it was, I will probably give them a kiss on the mouth.”

You grab a wooden spoon off the counter and whip it at Bucky’s head. Bucky ducks easily and Steve reaches up and grabs it out of the air behind Bucky before it can smack into the glass wall behind him. You also let out a small chuckle. You can’t help it.

“I’m thinking you won’t want to, Barnes.” Tony remarks. “Considering the cause of death was the dumbass getting himself good and drunk and wrapping his fancy sports car around a tree. So unless you’d like to kiss the man's corpse, you’re shit out of luck.”

Bucky huffed and crossed his arms, rolling his eyes at Tony.

You sat down abruptly at a stool at the kitchen island. Bucky took a few quick steps toward you and laid a hand on your back.

“Sweetheart, are you…?”

“I’m fine.” You whisper. “I’m fine.”

And you were, you realized. You basically felt nothing. Of course, you felt some twinge of sadness at someone you had spent so many years of your life with dying in a horrific car accident.

But you felt fine really. No shortness of breath, no panic at the thought of him. You were clear headed and calm.

There was no threat of the sea of emotions lapping at your heels. You didn’t feel like you were about to drown.

“I’m fine.” You murmured again. Looking up at Bucky. “I’m fine, Bucky. Does that make me a monster?”

Bucky stepped in to you then and wrapped you in a warm hug, kissing the crown of your head. “No. It does not make you a monster sweetheart.”

“So. Not to bring up a touchy subject or anything…” Sam piped up from his spot where you and Bucky had propped him on the couch. “But, this man was your fiance, no?”

“Yes.” You murmur back. Bucky’s arms tensed a bit around you, you felt his head shift and you assumed he was leveling Sam with a death glare.

“And, we’re totally fine with him being dead? Like don’t get me wrong, I’m on your side no matter what I just feel like I’m missing something.”

“Sam, she doesn’t have to…” Bucky started.

“No, Buck. It’s okay.” You said, placing a palm on his chest and giving him a little push so you could turn to look at Sam and the rest of your family in the living room.

“Yes. He was my fiance. I knew him for most of my life. I kept him a secret from you all because he hated SHIELD and all of you. He hated that I worked here.” You started. Bucky was watching you carefully, with a hand placed on your back. He seemed poised for attack, like if there was any indication that your heart rate picked up or you lost your breath he would snag you in his arms and run out of there like a bomb was going off.

You loved him.

But it was time for your family to know.

“We ended things when I got back from Budapest. He was abusive, to say the least, and manipulative. I was angry at myself for letting it get that far which was why I isolated myself from you all for so long.” You sighed and offered your family a small smile. “But, I’m feeling more like myself again.” You looked at Sam then. “So, no. We don’t really care that he’s gone, beyond normal human discomfort with death. Even if that makes me a little evil, I kind of don’t care.”

It was quiet for a moment. Then Sam spoke. “Well good riddance then.”

Nat spoke up next. “I am a little disappointed you didn’t take a crack at him Barnes.”

“Trust me I wanted to.” Bucky chuckled. “But my priorities were elsewhere.” He snuck a look at you with a little smile.

“Thank you for telling us.” Wanda said softly. “You didn’t have to.”

“I know. But you’re my family.”

Steve stood up then from his spot across the room and crossed to you. He wrapped you up in a big hug. The next thing you knew, Bucky, Nat, Wanda, Peter and even Vision were joining in. You teared up a bit standing in the center of all of them.

“Get in here Tony.” Steve muttered.

“Sorry pal, I don’t do group hugs.” Tony quipped from where he leaned against the kitchen island.

You peeked through the holes between arms and saw Sam sitting on the couch smiling at all of you. You pouted a bit as you looked at him, offering your apologies that he was stuck on the couch.

“I’m there in spirit, gorgeous.” Sam smiled at you. “When I can stand on my own I’ll give you a better hug than any of these assholes could dream of.”

You giggled then. The whole group devolved into arguments on who gave the best hugs.

Right as Nat and Steve were going toe to toe (arguing vehemently that the other gave the best hug) Tony spoke up. “What do you all say we go to the bar down the road and celebrate?”

“Celebrate?” You chuckled.

“Yeah kid. I think it’s about time we let loose as a family. I’ll give Sam the bottom half of a suit or something so he can walk on his own in the bar.”

“You mean to tell me these past few weeks I could have just borrowed a suit? What kind of sick bastard are you?” Sam yells incredulously from across the room.

“Don’t push your luck birdboy.” Tony looks at you again. “What do you say? Fancy a night out with your family?”

You couldn’t think if anything you’d love more. “Hell yes.”

~0~

You all piled into various vehicles at the compound and made the short trek down the road to the bar. (Not before Sam finally gave you a big hug. He wasn’t kidding, he was a really incredible hugger.)

You all made quite a scene rolling up as a unit and pushing a bunch of tables together. Luckily, most of the patrons at the bar seemed to be wise enough not to cause a scene with the entire Avengers team in one spot.

You sat and marveled briefly at everyone laughing and drinking and enjoying themselves. It was still amazing to you that all of these people, who had seen so much and suffered so much could be together here now, laughing and joking with each other.

You were proud to be one of them.

Peter was slinging spitballs through straws in Sam’s direction which Sam was artfully trying to dodge, his iron legs supporting him now. Tony, Steve and Bucky were sniping back and forth at each other. Vision and Wanda had gotten up from the table to dance to the songs playing on the jukebox.

“Hey hot stuff.” Nat said, dropping down next to you at the table. “Whatcha thinking about all quiet over here?”

“Just amazed I’m here, is all. It’s everything I always wanted, but really didn’t think I could ever have.”

“I know what you mean.” Nat said softly. “I didn’t know if I’d ever really have a family like this. I didn’t think I could.”

“I tried so hard to make it work with Elijah, nearly destroying myself in the process, because I wanted to belong somewhere. For somewhere to be home.” You muttered.

“I know.” Nat said. “Seems silly now doesn’t it? I fought for years against belonging here. It scared the hell out of me. Still does most days, especially when one of you gets hauled through those doors all messed up. Emotionally or physically.” She looks at you pointedly then. “But I’ve learned I’d rather be terrified of losing you all than never having you, you know?”

“Totally.”

You both sit in silence for a bit, sipping on your beers and just taking in the scene. Just then, “I Ran” by A Flock of Seagulls came on and you bubbled up with laughter.

“What’s that giggle for?” Nat asked.

“Nothing. I just got an idea.” You drained your beer and stood up from the table you were sitting at. “Hey, can you turn it up?” You sent the bartender a smile. He nodded and spun to turn the volume up in the bar. “Wanna join?” You tossed over your shoulder at Nat as you placed your hands on the bar and hopped up. You started moving your hips to the music, the same way you did a year ago in Budapest.

Nat glanced over to where Bucky was still mostly oblivious to you standing on the bar, his back facing you as he talked to Steve and Tony. “Hell yeah I do.”

Nat hopped up on the bar with you and sidled close to you, moving her hips with yours.

Wanda saw you and quickly hopped up on the bar. A few other women in the bar looked up and watched, and you three waved them over to have them join. The bartenders quickly moved the glasses on the bar out of the way so you all had a clear space to dance.

There were a few whoops and hollers from some of the men sitting at the bar on the other end, and you spun, ignoring your real prey and sending flirtatious smiles and giggles toward the men down the bar.

The attention of the other men finally got the attention that you had been looking for in the first place.

Steve’s head popped up from their conversation and his eyes widened at the sight before him. You, Nat and Wanda dancing tightly together, hands in the air. Without tearing his eyes from you he quickly punched Bucky in the shoulder. You could tell Bucky had probably asked what the hell Steve’s problem was when Steve just pointed in your direction. Bucky turned slowly to look.

You weren’t looking directly at him, you were still making eyes at the guys down the bar, but from your peripheral vision you saw his jaw drop open before he quickly shut it, grinding down on his jaw. He leaned back against the table, resting his elbows on the surface and spreading his legs out to assume an arrogant laid back stance. Clearly intent on enjoying your show.

It took every ounce of will not to hop down off the bar and climb him like a tree.

As the bridge of the song sped up and the electric guitar started shredding Nat, Wanda and you really turned it on. You saw Steve put his face in his hands as he released a long groan. Bucky just leveled you with an arrogant smirk. As the final tones of the song played you finally looked fully at Bucky, giving him a haughty smile as if to say What? I’m not doing anything.

Bucky just rolled his eyes at you as the song ended and the first notes of “Every Breath You Take” by the Police started**.

It was just like that first night in Budapest. You, up on a bar dancing, and Bucky staring at you from his place at the table, a dark heated look in his eyes.

Except this time, it would end differently.

Bucky stood up abruptly from the table and stalked toward you. Nat and Wanda took that as their cue to step away and off the bar, leaving you standing there alone. When Bucky reached the bar he wrapped his hands around your waist.

“C’mon babygirl. Let’s go home.” He chuckled as he lifted you up off the bar. As he stepped back he started to lower you down from where you towered over him. You slid down the front of his body as he set you back to your feet. Once you were safely on the ground, he kept his hands on your waist as you looked up at him. You smirked at him and batted your eyelashes innocently. He groaned low in his throat and leaned down so his mouth was even with your ear. “You’re killin me sweetheart.” He rose back up to his full height and looked down at you. His eyes raked over your whole body and you flushed and bit down on the corner of your bottom lip. “Fucking hell.” He growled.

He picked you up, tossed you over his shoulder and made a beeline for the door. You squealed.

He snagged your coats off the back of his chair as you passed the table that everyone was sitting at.

“Got someplace to be, Barnes?” Natasha crooned as Bucky rushed past where she now sat next to Steve.

You blushed and giggled, waving to everyone from your place on Bucky’s shoulder as he continued out the door, not slowing down for anything.

As soon as the door clicked shut behind you he dropped you back on your feet and roughly grabbed both sides of your head, crashing his lips against yours. You pressed your body against his, your hands grabbing two fistfuls of his t-shirt and yanking. You wanted him closer.

He finally ripped his mouth from yours and stared down at you as his chest rose and fell rapidly, he was as out of breath as you were. “I love you.” He breathed.

You didn’t answer him. He knew.

You just launched yourself into his arms, your legs wrapping around his waist and your hands tangling in the ends of his hair when it curled against the back of his neck. You dragged his lips back to yours. His hands caught you around the waist, his metal arm lowering down to hold you under your hips and keep you from slipping.He started to walk you backwards toward where his bike was parked across the parking lot.

You devoured him, nipping at his bottom lip and running your hands through his hair. You had one hand gripping the back of his neck to keep him from moving too far away from you.

Suddenly you heard a voice call out from near the door of the bar. Sam, standing on his own with a pair of iron legs assisting. “Fucking nasty. Get a room!”

You heard the chorus of chuckles from your friends, your family, as they all spilled out the door of the bar.

Bucky pulled his head back just enough so that there was enough space between you that he could yell back “Trying to!” before smashing your lips back to his.

Once he reached his bike, he set you down before quickly mounting the bike and hitting the kickstand. As soon as he was stable you giggled and jumped on the back, wrapping yourself around him and burying your face into his neck.

He revved the engine twice, yelled “hold on” over his shoulder and took off.

You lifted your head to look at everyone as Bucky ripped out of the parking lot. A huge grin on your face, you lifted a hand to wave at your family. You could just make out the sound of Nat yelling “See you at home!” At the same time that Sam yelled “I’m gonna need a different floor to sleep on tonight.”

You giggled again and faced forward in the seat, squeezing Bucky again as he turned onto the asphalt and hit the gas.

You hurtled down the road toward the compound.

As you were flying down the asphalt you decided that you were going to finally just start living without fear that someone was going to take it away from you. The fresh air was pelting your face and it was so strong it wiped away any doubt. It wiped away the thought that you didn’t deserve to have moments like this.

You wanted to feel it all. The pain of the whipping wind, the sting of the air on your eyes, the smell of gasoline in your nose.

You wanted to feel every moment you could with Bucky. The good, the bad and the boring. You wanted to spend time with your family and be there for every moment in their lives and never miss a month with them again.

You wanted to be totally free.

You started to peel your arms away from Bucky’s chest. One of his hands left the handlebars and he grabbed your wrist.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I wanna feel the wind!” You yelled back. “I wanna feel everything, Bucky.”

He paused only a second before patting your wrist twice, and dropping his hand to your thigh to hold on to you. You squeezed your legs together, gripping him tighter as you released your hands from his waist, slowly lifting them so that they were above your head.

Your hair was flying wildly around your head and the only things you could hear were the sound of the engine and the wind. It was the most amazing feeling in the whole world.

You let out a loud whoop as you just let yourself go, laughing at how absolutely wonderful it was to just feel.

Against your chest you could feel Bucky’s back rumble as he laughed with you. He squeezed your knee once, put his hand back on the handlebars and pushed the bike a little faster.

You wanted this forever.

Just you, your man and the wind.

@vicmc624

@austynparksandpizza

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky #bucky fluff

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storyshark2005 · 5 years

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“I HAVE NOT SHOT HER YET.”

The Presbyterian Hospital In the City of New York 41 East 70th St.

May 5, I think

Dear Seward, honest, what with music lessons and four attacks of measles and all that expense of having my teeth straightened, I was brought up more carefully than to write letters in pencil. But I asked the nurse for some ink—just asked her in a nice way—and she left the room and hasn't been heard of from that day to this. So that, my dears, is how I met Major (later General) Grant.

Maybe only the trusties are allowed to play with ink.

I am practically bursting with health, and the medical world, hitherto white with suspense, is entertaining high hopes—I love that locution—you can just see the high hopes, all dressed up, being taken to the Hippodrome and then to Maillard's for tea. Or maybe you can't—the hell with it.

This is my favorite kind of hospital and everybody is very brisk and sterilized and kind and nice. But they are always sticking thermometers into you or turning lights on you or instructing you in occupational therapy (rug-making—there's a fascinating pursuit!) and you don't get a chance to gather any news for letter-writing.

Of course, if I thought you would listen, I could tell you about the cunning little tot of four who ran up and down the corridor all day long; and I think, from the way he sounded, he had his little horse-shoes on—some well-wisher had given him a bunch of keys to play with, and he jingled them as he ran, and just as he came to my door, the manly little fellow would drop them and when I got so I knew just when to expect the crash, he'd fool me and run by two or even three times without letting them go. Well, they took him up and operated on his shoulder, and they don't think he will ever be able to use his right arm again. So that will stop that god damn nonsense.

And then there is the nurse who tells me she is afraid she is an incorrigible flirt, but somehow she just can't help it. She also pronounces "picturesque" picture-skew, and "unique" un-i-kew, and it is amazing how often she manages to introduce these words into her conversation, leading the laughter herself. Also, when she leaves the room, she says "see you anon." I have not shot her yet. Maybe Monday.

And, above all, there is the kindhearted if ineffectual gentleman across the hall, where he lies among his gallstones, who sent me in a turtle to play with. Honest. Sent me in a turtle to play with. I am teaching it two-handed bridge. And as soon as I get really big and strong, I am going to race it to the end of the room and back.

I should love to see Daisy, but it seems that there is some narrow-minded prejudice against bringing dogs into hospitals. And anyway, I wouldn't trust these bastards of doctors. She would probably leave here with a guinea-pig's thyroid in her. Helen says she is magnificent—she has been plucked and her girlish waist-line has returned. I thought the dear devoted little beast might eat her heart out in my absence, and you know she shouldn't have meat. But she is playful as a puppy, and has nine new toys—three balls and six assorted plush animals. She insists on taking the entire collection to bed with her, and, as she sleeps on Helen's bed, Helen is looking a little haggard these days.

At my tearful request, Helen said to her "Dorothy sends her love."

"Who?" she said.

I am enclosing a little thing sent by some unknown friend. Oh, well.

And here is a poem of a literary nature. It is called Despair in Chelsea.

Osbert Sitwell Is unable to have a satisfactory evacuation. His brother, Sacheverel, Doubts if he ever'll.

This is beyond doubt the dullest letter since George Moore wrote "Esther Water." But I will write you decent ones as soon as any news breaks. And after my death, Mr. Conkwright-Shreiner can put them in a book—the big stiff.

But in the meantime, I should love to hear how you are and whatever. And if in your travels, you meet any deserving family that wants to read "Mr. Fortune's Maggot," I have six copies.

Love Dorothy

I promised my mother on her deathbed I would never write a postscript, but I had to save the wow for the finish. I have lost twenty-two pounds.

#dorothy parker #you can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think

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alexguerinss · 7 years

Text

Skin Deep

Philkas Week Day 2: Soulmates

crossposted to ao3

When Philip was young he always imagined meeting his soulmate. He knew one day he would and it would be the most magical feeling, knowing he had someone to love and be loved in return.

His mother told him to never give up hope; he would find that special someone. The soulmate mark would appear on his wrist on the day he met them.

When he was 15, he realized that he was different from most boys he went to school with. They would talk about girls like how his mom would talk about one of her many boyfriends.

Philip realized he didn't like girls that way.

He tried to imagine even trying to kiss a girl and felt uncomfortable at the thought.

Coming out as gay to his mom was easy. She loved him inside and out, and told him that he was still the most wonderful boy. He smiled at the comment, before frowning at the thought of telling anyone else.

He didn't want them to know. The very thought sent him into a panic attack the next day. Anne found him in the bathroom with the door ajar, the sink faucet on while he was curled up in the tub.

His mother managed to calm him down and reminded him he didn't need to tell anyone until he was ready.

Her words soothed him, but he definitely wasn't ready for what would happen in the future.

Four Months Later

“Hey Lukas!” The tall blond teen turned away from his locker to find his friend Tommy walking towards him. He wore a smirk on his face and Lukas shifted under his gaze. Tommy smirking could only mean one thing and it wasn’t good.

“What’s up?” he asked, slamming his locker shut. He watched as Tommy looked beyond him, and Lukas’ curiosity got the best of him. He turned around and saw the person his friend was looking at.

There was a boy. Shorter than him and skinny. He was wearing a brown jacket that was practically smothering him.

“New kid. Fresh meat,” Tommy stated, looking at the stranger with an evil glint in his eye.

Lukas rolled his eyes, not wanting to be in the middle of a fight. “Just leave the kid alone Tommy.”

His friend grinned, before turning his eyes away from smaller teen. “Fine whatever,” he scoffed, “I have better things to do anyway.”

Lukas rolled his eyes, following Tommy down the hallway in the direction of the new kid and watched as he closed his own locker. He looked skittish and Lukas frowned.

Tommy shoulder checked the smaller student as he passed and Lukas watched as the kid dropped all of his books, looking nervous and frazzled.

Lukas sighed as his friend walked away, laughing down the hallway before turning to the brunet in front of him.

He was beautiful.

Lukas felt his mouth drop open as he looked at the guy.

“I would close your mouth. You’ll catch flies,” a sarcastic voice told him and he realized the words came out of the new kid.

Lukas automatically closed his mouth and rolled his eyes. “Ha ha,” he replied, trying to gather his thoughts.

“I’m Philip.”

Lukas watched as he lifted out his hand for a handshake and Lukas stuck out of his hand.

“Lukas,” he responded, gripping his hand.

They both got a shock as their hands came in contact and they jumped back in alarm.

They looked at each other with trepidation, knowing what this meant but not wanting to believe it.

Lukas didn’t believe in soulmates. After his mom died, he thought the idea was just a dumb myth. He should be able to fall in love with who he wanted to. There shouldn’t be some force that aligns people together through some system.

Philip on the other hand, felt like his life was finally going to begin. He stared at Lukas, waiting for him to say something. Anything.

But Lukas just mumbled something about getting to class and ran down the hall, leaving Philip feeling like something was ripped out of his chest.

The soulmate mark on his wrist was burning.

“Are you not hungry?” Philip’s foster father asked him at dinner that night. Philip looked up from his plate, taking note that it was still full. He really wasn’t hungry, but he didn’t want to look ungrateful so he plastered a fake smile on his face and shook his head.

Gabe and Helen had taken in him as if he was their own son. He had already moved from two other foster homes since social services came to their apartment, telling him that his mother was gone. Overdose, they told him. He didn’t want to believe it. He was suddenly ripped from the only place he knew as home and placed with Gabe and Helen two hours from the city. They were nice, but they weren’t his mom.

He took a bite of his dinner and grimaced as he swallowed, feeling like he was eating lead and he sighed.

“I’m really sorry, but I don’t think I can eat anymore,” he apologized and watched as the adults looked at him with a questioning look in their eyes.

“Is it about your soulmate mark on your wrist?” Helen asked bluntly, but softly. “It looks brand new.”

Philip shifted in his seat uncomfortably before nodding, knowing it was better for him to tell the truth with them than to lie.

“I met him today,” he started, “and he ran away when he figured it out.”

The adults made no comment about the pronouns he used. He had told them a week after he started staying with them, knowing it was just easier to let them know he was gay before they found out on their own. They accepted him and made no comments about him having to leave, so Philip knew he was safe.

But now he felt like the world was trying to swallow him whole and the mark burned, as if someone was placing it under hot water every 30 seconds. Philip read books when he was younger about the marks and knew that when your soulmate was feeling scared, it would feel this way. He was trying not to feel anxious about what Lukas was feeling or thinking, but he figured Lukas probably wanted nothing to do with him.

“He may be nervous,” Gabe suggested, offering an understanding smile. “He may not be out, even to himself.”

Philip didn’t even think about that. He thought about meeting Lukas and the other boy gaping at him in the hallway, and then running away as if the shock of their connection made him realize he was gay.

“Yeah...maybe,” he conceded.

But now how would he even be able to approach Lukas?

When Lukas walked the empty halls at the end of school the next day, he looked around anxiously seeing if he could spot Philip anywhere. He didn’t want to see Philip, but on the other hand he did and hoped that he was still in the school. The idea of seeing him gave him a stomach ache, but it was also a really good feeling that Lukas couldn’t even describe. But he didn’t want this. He wasn’t gay. He couldn’t be. He didn’t want to be. No one wanted him to be.

He turned the corner near the boys bathroom and spotted Philip coming out, looking really good in his jeans. Why was he noticing these things? He couldn’t help but gravitate towards him, but he didn’t want this. He definitely didn’t want this.

He thought about his father and mother. How after his mother died, his father changed. He told Lukas that finding a soulmate was nearly impossible and you never know what might happen to them. The thought of his soulmate dying like how his mom did, did nothing to help Lukas. It just made him want to put the idea of having one the farthest out of his mind.

But now his soulmate was here. In his school. And was a guy.

He had to get out of the hallway. Philip couldn’t see him. He didn’t want them to talk. He didn’t want to deal with feelings he didn’t understand. He was supposed to have a girlfriend who wasn’t his soulmate, become a professional in the motocross circuit and live a normal life. As normal as he could, without a tattoo on his wrist. The mark was cool to the touch, not at all irritating, but Lukas glared at it.

His staredown with the soul mark didn’t last long because he never left the hallway, so Philip ended up standing right in front of him.

“Lukas…” he started, trying but failing to start a conversation.

Lukas bit his lip, wanting to leave the hallway but seemed to be frozen in his spot.

Philip spoke before he could control himself, “I know who you are to me. I know you’re confused. You have every right to be. I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with and I know this is really new to you.”

“Wait what?” The blonde asked confused.

“We’re soulmates,” Philip stated bluntly. He knew he needed to get that out of the way before he could continue. “I know you probably want to ignore this fact and I’m alright with that. I understand why.”

“I’m just…,” Lukas responded, not knowing what to say. “I’m not gay. I can’t be okay?” He was suddenly angry.

Angry at the world for giving him this beautiful boy as his soulmate, but knowing that no one would accept it. His father would be furious, his friends would laugh. He couldn’t bare the thought.

He just wanted the idea of soulmates to not exist anymore. Why does he need one? He didn’t need someone to be his other half for the rest of his life.

“It’s okay. I get it,” Philip replied with a set smile appearing on his face.

Lukas looked at him, not trusting himself to speak. Why wasn’t Philip pushing him to deal with the soul marks?

He noticed Philip’s tattoo on his wrist. It was red and looked irritated, and he frowned.

“Hey, why does your soul mark look like it’s hurting you?” His worried tone made Philip half-smile at the concern.

“You never read about soul marks?” he questioned, and watched as Lukas shook his head. “When your soul mate is scared or angry, it burns.”

“I’m hurting you?!” Lukas exclaimed, grabbing Philip’s arm and felt the shockwave of their souls intertwining.

He didn’t want Philip to feel any pain. He realized that this boy in front of him was someone special. Someone he cared about and would soon grow to love.

Philip watched, wincing as Lukas didn’t let go of his arm. He thought Lukas would run away again, but the taller boy stood there, gently caressing Philip’s arm. He felt the mark get cooler and stared wide-eyed at Lukas as the boy’s hand went to his face.

“Lukas...what are you doing?” he asked, looking nervously at the blonde. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Yes I do.” Lukas stated, before grabbing Philip’s face with both hands and pressing their lips together.

Philip fell against the locker, feeling Lukas’ lips against his and their tongues playing tonsil hockey. He felt a tug in his heart, something like an out of body experience that he didn’t want to end.

Lukas suddenly stopped, slowly, still caressing his face as he pulled away.

“Wow.”

Philip huffed out a laugh. “You could say that again. What was that?” he asked in shock at Lukas’ actions.

“I never believed in soulmates,” Lukas started, “My mom died when I was young and my dad pushed the idea in my head that having a soulmate and a good life was difficult and something out of reach. He made me think that something bad might happen to them. Well you, I guess.” He chuckled humorlessly.

Philip frowned and touched Lukas’ arm, slowly rubbing it up and down. “My mom told me that I would find the perfect soulmate. Someone who would love me and be my better half. She never had a soulmate and she was still taken away from me.”

Lukas gasped, “Is your mom...?” he couldn’t help but ask, “Never mind, forget I asked. It’s none of my business.” He silently cursed at himself. Philip didn’t need to tell him anything.

“She died. About two months ago. Accidental overdose,” Philip shared, his voice going soft and his face somber.

He smiled suddenly. “She used to tell me that whoever my soulmate was, that they’d love me for me and wouldn’t let anything get in the way. What she didn’t tell me was the shock you’d feel when you met them.”

Lukas let out a laugh before speaking. “She sounds amazing.”

He suddenly felt the urge to kiss Philip again, but held back. He knew they needed to get home soon.

He grabbed Philip’s hand, to the surprise of the other boy and started pulling him towards the school’s exit.

“Do you want to go to my dad’s cabin? I have a motorbike.” Lukas asked, unsure but also never feeling so alive at the thought of them together

“I’ve never been on a motorbike before,” Philip admitted.

“It’s okay, I have a helmet. You just need to hold on,” he said, smiling as their arms touched and their soul marks rubbing against each other.

The souls intertwined once more as they walked out of the building hand in hand, their faces full of smiles.

#philkas #philkasweek #philkas fic #eyewitness fic #my fic

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teresaleenz · 7 years

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30.01.17 - 05.02.17

NEW YORK

Glenn Denning - Glenn was an encyclopaedia of knowledge regarding sustainable development. He talked through how there were many sceptics who dismissed the MDGs either as they saw global goals as unrealistic or because they disregarded anything to do with the UN. However, they achieved quite a lot especially in terms of extreme poverty, malaria and HIV. The SDGs were an upgrade as they considered how the MDGs were too top down, did not address inequality or environmental issues and did not involve a lot of inclusive development as poorer countries were focussed on. Of course, the SDGs were criticised too and mainly for being seventeen of them. Glenn noted how this was a result of inclusive discussions and strong advocacy from groups. The increase from eight to seventeen was the price of cooperation and one would struggle to justify one of them being unimportant. On the positive side, there is now more direct responsibility for richer countries and the SDGs have captured the attention of a wider community of stakeholders. This is one of the pros of the UN - the UN is formed by governments but have the ability to mobilise non-governmental organisations, businesses, etc. The other issue Glenn deliberated was why people are hungry considering there is more than enough to go around. A few reasons include inaccessibility, increasing population, food security and wastage where not only food is wasted but the energy into making the food is blown. However, the most significant reason was that people’s diets are changing particularly in rapidly developing nations. For instance, China’s shift towards meat consumption means we need more animals, and hence, more grains to feed the animals so grains are taken out of the market. Policy instruments such as food stamps and vouchers need to be utilised. It is also time to demonise fast food and sugary drinks like tobacco has been. A side matter we discussed were GMOs and he pointed out that the populations’ unease at them is due to fear of the unknown and scientists are too geeky to make it look promising. If only the marketing department of Coke could help. University of Columbia - 100% would be one of the top results for a search on “university aesthetic tumblr”. Times Square - Overwhelming as expected... but not anymore than any of our own minds. NZ Permanent Mission to the UN - Most of the session was Q&A and we discussed how NZ were a large voice despite being quite small as we were committeed to the UN since the start, have no vested interest due to location so we are seen to be impartial, have a comparatively good human rights record, bravely called out what was happening in Rwanda during the genocide, have people in key position and we always taken a principled approach based on merits. NZ is a good person. School of Rock - Firstly, what a buzzing and epic show! Secondly, TALK ABOUT CHILD PRODIGYS??? WHAT THE??? Share some of that talent around, why don’t you.

9/11 Memorial and Museum - Despite this being my second visit to this museum, its effect was not diminished whatsoever. The museum presents a multitude of voices of those involved in the attack and does so in an authentic manner. Personally, I find this quote from James Gilroy to be the most memorable: “She had a business suit on, her hair was all askew… This woman stood there for what seemed like minutes, then she held her skirt and then stepped off the ledge…I thought, how human, how modest, told down her skirt before she jumped…I couldn’t look anymore.” A melancholic reminder that we’re all human. Masterchef - Julia and I were on mains so we created the first thing that came to mind - nachos shaped in the head of the Statue of Liberty, of course. Our combination of blue corn chips, the smallest pinch of mince amongst a crowd of pinto beans, finger-licking good cream cheese and yummy guac deservedly won 1st place.

Youth Assembly Day 1 - All of us hustled in and were VERY excited to finally be at the Conference we had been buzzing about. Aaaand it was shit. Luckily, I do have a funny story to make up for it :) I wasn’t there but Michael was grabbed by a girl who said “You’re so cute, I’m bringing you back to Nigeria!” and of course, that served to be a good chuckle for all of us. That’s not even the good bit... The next day, Antoine complimented Michael on his tie and I told him to be careful or a Nigerian girl would snatch him away. A girl in front of us turned and looked at me with an unimpressed face and I assumed she thought I was being racist. The interaction then followed as such: “Oh, let me explain! Yesterday a Nigerian girl grabbed him and wanted to take him back with her.” “Yes, that was me.” “...Oh.” Funnily enough, she then tried to sass me: “You don’t recognise me but I recognise you.” My defense was easy enough: “Hun, I wasn’t even there.” WHOOPS UN Development Programme - In the middle of the day, we just had a casual meet up with Helen Clark, no biggie. She was COOL. Cool fact #1 from cool Aunty Helen: Syria will need 30 years to revert their GDP back to their previous GDP. Cool fact #2 from cool Aunty Helen: Turkey and Lebanon have hosted over a million refugees and have not complained. And cool fact #3 from cool Aunty Helen: Developed countries can help less developed countries beyond providing financial help by helping them to apply for financial help, such as with writing proposals.

Youth Assembly Day 2 - Again, no change. Again, shit. Youth Assembly Mexico Mission - Learning about Mexico’s activity with the UN was really insightful as it was something I knew nothing about. Our host, who I have annoyingly forgotten the name of, was such a gracious man. An interesting point he raised was that many discussions at the UN revolve around statistics in order to decide on indicators. He believed that the greatest threat against success of the SDGs is nationalism and this nationalism came from those who have been negatively affected by globalisation which is, unfortunately, fair enough. As expected, I also learnt plenty about Mexico! Mexico has the largest network of free trade agreements, was the first country to have law on climate change and all employed Mexicans have free healthcare! Metropolitan Museum of Art - The main attraction was The Costume Institute’s ‘Masterworks: Unpacking Fashion’ exhibit in the Anna Wintour Costume Centre. Just a tad better than my own wardrobe back home...

Visiting family - Going to New York on this trip meant I was able to see my grandma and visit her new place in Queens Boulevard. It was really touching because I could tell my visit was very precious to her and with a little luck, I’ll be back for YumCha with her again in a year or so :)

Avenue Q - An absolute killerrr!!! Relatable, hilarious and such a good time! Not to be missed!!! I’m starting to sound like their marketing guy but seriously, it’s uproarious!!! Hahaha…go see it.

Flight to Auckland via Los Angeles and Sydney - 30 hours of flying resulted in quite the movie binge; I ended up watching Keeping Up With The Jonases, Focus, Anna Karenina, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and Red Dog! Keeping Up With The Jonases didn’t have much on Keeping Up With The Kardashians but the rest are definitely recommended :)

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