#bible paraphrase

[quotesfromscripture]

Noah’s story concludes and the peoples disperse

These families of bene Noakh [the sons of Noah] according to their records in their nations and from these separated haggoyim ba’arets after hammabbul [the flood] 

- Genesis 10:32

#noah's ark #religion #noah #record keeping #nations #the flood #genesis 10 #genesis 10:32 #book of genesis #bible paraphrase #word study #goyim

[marcelles3]

Obadiah dooms a nation to die

Obadiah is the shortest book in the Bible because it doesn’t take long to warn people that God is going to exterminate their nation—kill it so dead that it never comes back.

Obadiah is the shortest book in the Bible because it doesn’t take long to warn people that God is going to exterminate their nation—kill it so dead that it never comes back. It takes only one chapter, about as long as Abraham Lincoln’s famously short Gettysburg Address. I just finished paraphrasing it for the Casual English Bible, and creating some new maps to help people visualize the nation of…

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#casualenglishbible.com #stephenmmiller #3D bible maps #Bible maps #bible paraphrase #Obadiah

[lucky-clover-gazette]

“i love my dead gay son” feels like more of an honest and genuinely loving, while humorous, tribute to queerness than entirety of “the prom” musical

#that one song in the prom being like haha well you’re sinning too based on the bible’s rules #vs heathers being like sorry god actually loves the gays and they’re in heaven having gay sex right now #and also we are also gay middle aged men who hooked up on a fishing trip and we are going to make out at our not actually gay sons’ funeral #while the ensemble of churchgoers and funeral attendees wave pride flags and also sing about how much they loved our dead gay sons #the song is so dark and wonderful and that’s also one of my fave scenes in the movie #the line ‘do you think they’d love their son’s limp wrists if they weren’t dead’ (paraphrasing) just Hits #heathers musical #heaters

[willowcrowned]

at a certain point you have to wonder if these guys are just throwing words at a wall like spaghetti

#this is (paraphrased?) from Levinson (2000) #which is a paper about a neo gricean approach to pragmatics #and yes. i do know that none of those words are in the bible #linguistics

[itspileofgoodthings]

I think what we can all pause to reflect on is that every situation . . . calls for a man of God.

#if you are not a man of God then what are you doing #to paraphrase Matthew McConaughey’s mom: [ we need a ] Matthew from the Bible #ANYWAY

[theinwardlight]

#bible #gospel #mark #scripture #christianity #paraphrase #quote #spirituality #lessons #take home message #faith #solidarity #attention #quaker

[triforce-of-mischief]

"how could you say that the bible is misogynistic? look at this!"

the bible verse in question: "women are great because all they were created for is obeying husbands and carrying babies and they are very good at it"

#dont come at me with your 'well actually-' #i am fully aware that most bible readers are in fact not misogynistic #but that was probably the worst example they could have possibly chosen #paraphrased from a real post i saw #hot takes with fable

[connieaaa]

1 Samuel 28- paraphrased by me

Saul: Well, God isn't answering me so can someone find me a Medium?

Lackey: Sir, you had them all killed remember?

Saul: Yes, but now *I* need one, and you must have a cousin or something.

Medium: I am 99% certain this is an assassination attempt, but I can't figure out how.

Saul: I promise I am cool. Can you call Samuel?

Samuel: WtF, why are you bothering me? I already told you "you're doomed". Bye loser.

*Saul crying on the floor*

Medium: *looks around nervously* You look sad. Do you want some tacos? I am going to go make us some tacos

#religious trauma #ex christian #ex fundamentalist #ex evangelical #exchristian #bible stories #paraphrasing #badly explained #prophets #mediums #witches love tacos #witches

[palimundo]

"What did you do with that bible I gave you?"

"I recycled it."

"Those are the words of God, how can you just recycle it?"

"It's made out of paper."

"You're going to recycle the words of God just because it's made out of paper?"

#my posts #ex-christian #ex-christianity #you gave it me so it's mine to do with #also you forced it on me when i told you a million damn times i didn't want it so what'd you expect? #''hurrrr why did you throw out this thing you kept saying you didn't want???'' #also also #your narcissism is showing when you act disappointed while paraphrasing me and it doesn't even sound bad #recycling is LITERALLY what made ''the words of god'' survive thousands of years so sit your a$$ down #yeah that includes disposable recycling. the bible ''miraculously'' being found in rubble gets eaten up by any fanatic #i could go on with how stupid that response was lmao

[ad-lucem-et-amor]

Why are you anxious? Are you going to gain an extra minute of your life?

#paraphrased #the Bible #Jesus loves you

[cometchasr]

for the world and its desires will fade away...

-a guy i know in bass

#mine #i have no clue if he may have paraphrased the bible #but if he did he changed it quite a bit

[devonellington]

Tues. Oct. 18, 2022: Riding a Creative Wave

Tues. Oct. 18, 2022: Riding a Creative Wave

image courtesy of Kaneori via pixabay.com Tuesday, October 18, 2022 Waning Moon Saturn, Neptune, Chiron, Jupiter, Uranus Retrograde Rainy and cold Ready for our long, Tuesday natter? I also have the Mid-Month check-in up on the GDR site. Decent weekend. Friday was a little all over the place. It wasn’t focused writing time, which was frustrating. Lots of admin work. Wrote and submitted a…

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#"My Side of the Bed" #"Paranormal Paraphrasing" #30 Tips for 30 Days #Boiler House Poets #book review #bulbs #cats #character #clothes #cooking #errands #GDR #Ink-Dipped Advice #John Scheeper #LEGERDEMIAN #LOIs #MailerLite #reading #script coverage #Series bible #Style sheet #Topic Workbooks

[drconstellation]

Come Back When You Can Make A Whale

This is going to contain some speculation for S3, so you know what to do! Or not do!

SITIS: What did God say? JOB: Um... I'm not sure. I didn't understand much. Things too wonderful for me. Ostriches came into it. SITIS: Ostriches? JOB: And whales. God's very proud of the whale. Went into some detail about... how great whales are. SITIS: But did They explain? JOB: [shakes head] I think the point was, if you want answers, come back when you can make a whale.

Whales, huh?

If you aren't well read, this could be quite the misdirection. It should be reasonably obvious, given who is doing the talking - Job - what he is actually referring to, then we can join a couple of dots to make some speculative leaps.

You still with me?

No? Then let us start with how do you make a whale?

By giving it another name.

Leviathan.

Chapter 41 of the Book of Job is all about the Leviathan, a great sinuous sea serpent with impenetrable scales and breath like fire. It sleeps beneath the sea until the end of days. Over time it came to be associated with any sea monster, then anything large, and what is the largest animal ever known to have lived? The whale.

The top of the matchbox is also worth a look. We have a skull and crossbones, which is classic Memento mori symbolism, fitting in with the resurrection theme of the Second Coming - but look at the way the address of the pub is spelt! Now, this not the same way it is spelt on the record single Maggie gives to Aziraphale; Goatgate is spelt as one word, not two. A little bit of searching reveals the meaning behind this fictional address that backs up and reinforces the quote on the side of the matchbox.

Strong's Concordance for 66 gives us "wild, savage, fierce." Goatgate is an interesting one, because it turns out to be a relatively modern term from the urban dictionary, and I'm just going to refer to the polite version of it here - it's another word for "mouth." So 66 Goatgate is a "fierce and savage mouth." Yes, that does sound about right - in more ways than one, once you know who it is. (If you want to look up the impolite version, go ahead - I'm sure you will still find the connotations very amusing.)

Our metaphorical Leviathan is Crowley. He gave the game away at the end of S1 during the appearance-swap.

This also means Aziraphale is his counterpart, Behemoth. Why - well, I made a bit of joke in my post here that he was playing at being a "river horse" while he wallowed in the bath of holy water during his part of the appearance-swap scene. Modern day scholars think the description of Behemoth in the Bible may be that of a hippopotamus in real life history. If that is so, I'd still be betting this is what the "dark horse" comment from Nina in S2E1 is foreshadowing.

Maybe none of this new to you if you've been hanging around the the fandom for a while. That's fine, I'm just trying to establish the scene. And the next bit we need to talk about is this one, where Job gets a lecture from God.

During this sequence, we hear lines that come from Job 38 and 39.

GOD: Job, if you have questions for me, I have questions for you. Do you know how I created the earth? Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth, Job? Were you there when all the morning stars sang together and all the Angels shouted for joy?

These lines are paraphrasing some of the beginning of Job 38.

Then we have:

GOD: Do you know the rules of the heavens? Did you set the constellations in the sky? Can you send lightning bolts and get them to report back to you? Did you give wings to peacocks, Job, or teach the ostrich to run?

These lines are again, paraphrasing Job, half from 38 and half from 39.

So then, we need to ask, why highlight these lines in particular?

Job 38 is mainly about setting the boundaries of the universe around us. The Earth might seem impossibly huge to a human, but it started with a single stone at its foundation. Earth and the other planets obey certain laws as they move around the Sun. The patterns of the stars in the sky take so long to change that it seems like they are set and inconstant. Even the chaotic form of lightning respects its Creator and returns to its point of origin.

From the last part of Chapter 38 to the end of 39 God challenges Job with a list of animals. The theme here is about freedom and wildness. Whether it is a noble lion, a loathsome crow, a nimble mountain goat, the head-strong wild ox or the willing war horse, they all flourish upon the Earth under the sight of the Almighty. Even the mightiest and most fierce beasts of all, Behemoth and Leviathan, have a place, although only God has the means to control those two.

None of this needs a human to be involved. We are so often the center of our own universe, and try so hard to control every aspect of the world around us that we lose sight of the bigger picture. Shit happens. Some things are out of our control. That doesn't mean its your fault and you're wicked and damned to go to Hell because of it. And that was the point God was trying to make to Job. The world is a far bigger, wilder and chaotic than you can imagine, but its also incredibly beautiful, and it runs itself within the rules and limits that seem to be set by invisible forces you can't see.

So back to the script from the show.

The first set of questions from God could apply to both of the duo. They were both around when Earth was created and were more than likely there when the "morning stars" (the highest angels, such as Lucifer, Gabriel, Michael and angel!Beelzebub) sang together.

The second set of questions are the ones that seem to have got the most attention so far, with ops cross-matching them to things Crowley does in S2.

Do you know the rules of the heavens?

Did you set the constellations in the sky?

Can you send lightning bolts and get them to report back to you?

Did you give wings to peacocks, Job...

(I make a suggestion this has something to do with Michael, but also see comments below)

...or teach the ostrich to run?

The first three of those questions are fairly straight forward, and I doubt many would dispute what they are referring to. But the reference to the peacock and the ostrich are more subtle and curious, and I would like to take a moment to look at the actual verse - because it is only one verse that is providing both questions - that is being paraphrased here.

Job 39:13 Gavest thou the goodly wings unto the peacocks? or wings and feathers unto the ostrich?

Did you realize that the King James Version of the Bible is the only one that mentions peacocks in this particular verse? All the other versions mentions the first sentence of that verse in relation to the wings of ostriches: "The wings of the ostrich wave proudly." The ostrich is considered a cruel and witless bird in the Bible, pleased with the way it looks, and seemingly careless about its young.

Why does that sound familiar...

Shax thinks this ostrich feather-clad angel in disguise isn't too smart either.

So using the peacock line is a curious choice in the script. Other than the "eyes" in the tail of the peacock having a connection to Michael's many watchful eyes on the world, it's still not clear how Crowley helped them upwards. Unless both lines are supposed to refer to Gabriel, and how the vain peacock was helped to both fly and run to a distant location in the stars.

Edit: Since I first wrote this, @beebopboom pointed me to some more peacock lore, and this helped me delve a bit deeper into them. Peacocks were associated with wealth and royalty, but they were also associated with immortality in early Christian beliefs. There was a belief that the flesh of the peacock did not decay after its death. The bright colours in its tail came from its eating venomous snakes, which reminded people of Christ becoming sin for humanity's sake (think of Crowley downing the laudanum to save Elspeth from Hell in the crypt in 1827, its a similar action.) The "eyes" on the males tail also represented the all-seeing eye of God. So we have a connection with both royalty and resurrection here.

(Oh - just as an interesting connection here - a number of the newer versions of the Bible not only don't mention the peacock in this verse, they compare the ostrich to the stork! The meaning is meant to be that the stork cares more for their young than the ostrich, but if you read the words at face value, you could take a double meaning away...)

Let us return to questions, answers, and whales.

Questions. Always questions. It's like the proverbial toddler who's always asking a never-ending string of "but, why?" for funsies and you just want them to shut up for a moment and think about the last thing you said first. They, too, are a bit like Job. They are the center of their own universe at that age, having not had much experience of the world. They have no grasp of how far it extends beyond them, and how little even we as adults know.

If at this point you're going "oh, no, no, no, no, op, please don't tell me the point of this meta is it's all ineffable," relax. I'm not.

The point was to set you up for some nice, juicy, awesomely sweet S3 speculation.

Because I believe Crowley will finally get to ask his questions of God.

(oh lordy, I made the mistake of taking a break to have a shower before trying to finish this off, because I was having trouble seeing how to finish this in a tidy way, and that caused me to have "shower thoughts" and now the nice sweet simple speculation has turned into a slightly bat-shit crazy kind-of one, although still on the same track as what I was originally thinking. Here goes...)

We have this three card spread from waaay back at the beginning of S1. We all think its something to do with the three babies.

What if its not?

Because we need something like this to happen again - Aziraphale and Crowley either side of a third protagonist. What if it's the King of Kings, Love personified, Jesus, in the middle? (Or Adam again, I wouldn't discount that option either...)

If you would look at the GIF and the screenshot together again and go, well that makes, sense, white for the angel on the right, and green for the demon on the left, I would jump up and shout at you - NO!

Look at the cards again! In the Tarot, that's the Ace of Swords on the right - it belongs to Aziraphale. It's a very powerful card, about new beginnings and change.* Lets call the one of the left Knight of Wands, which also represents the element of Fire. Knights are all about movement and journeys. Who owns the Bentley? And look what Gabriel has instinctively done with his hands - he has held his screen-left hand out to Aziraphale, the Sword, the angel who wears green, and his right hand out to Crowley, the Knight of Fire. The yin and yang qualities are actually swapped. That was what I was trying to tell you in this post. They aren't as obvious as they seem at first glance.

And love is the answer, it turns out. Did you see my comment the other day on another post? In Strong's Concordance 25 = to love.

Anyway, we should get a third parallel scene somewhat like this, and like when Aziraphale and Crowley took Adam out of time to talk to him in S1.

Only this time the three of them (with who ever is in the middle) should be having a talk with God about what is or isn't supposed to happen.

JOB: I think the point was, if you want answers, come back when you can make a whale.

Crowley could be a literal serpent (though I would be very surprised if he did manifest that way) but it should be a metaphorical Leviathan that stands before the Almighty to ask his questions and get his answers. And it will be that he has earned the right to be there, because he finally understands the lessons of Job.

@makewayforbigcrossducks I hope this answers one of your questions

*The Ace of Swords speaks of new beginnings, but it is a two-edged sword that can cut both ways. It is strength in adversity, victory out of struggle, good out of evil, a change in the old order on the way.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #crowley #aziraphale #job minisode #book of job #leviathan #behemoth #i only ever asked questions #come back when you can make a whale #gabriel #shax #did you give wings to peacocks? #teach the ostrich to run #king of kings #king of hearts #yin to his yang

[tomicscomics]

09/08/2023

"[This little puppy]... can make a... hell of heaven." ~ "Paradise Lost" by John Milton (paraphrased)

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: In this Bible story, Jesus is granting His disciples authority and instituting His Church on earth.  "What you bind/loose on earth shall be bound/loosed in heaven," is a quote from Jesus that refers to ancient Jewish traditions of kings and stewardship.  In this cartoon, John takes the saying literally, and to experiment, he un-leashes a nearby dog to "let it loose" on earth.  Sure enough, the moment he looses the dog on earth, it's immediately teleported to heaven to harass an unsuspecting angel.  This is high art.

And for anyone who doesn't find yappy, teleporting dogs the peak of comedy, just know that it was between this and a flatulence joke.  As for me, I have chosen the better part, and it will not be taken away.

#catholic #christian #jesus #comic #cartoon #jesus memes #catholic memes #christian memes #tomics #bible #st john #john #yappy dog

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for taking down Christian flyers on signposts around my neighborhood?

I (20s X) have recently began seeing Christian flyers on telephone polls around my neighborhood. They say things from Bible quotes to things like “fear of god: giving him the respect he truly deserves” or that ‘pleasure makes your soul wither away like a raisin & Jesus can fix it’ (paraphrasing that one.) these really rubbed me the wrong way, so without thinking I just sort of… took them down and pocketed them.

None of them had any phone numbers or contact info, so it wasn’t explicitly cult shit, but it still felt strange. In my mind, they’d all wash away with rain naturally eventually, so I was just speeding up the process. It’s not illegal, it wasn’t like I was stealing anyone’s mail. But a part of me still feels strange.

So - AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[truth-has-a-liberal-bias]

A week ahead of the Iowa Republican caucuses, a new video depicting former president Donald Trump as a messianic figure caused a stir among the Iowa evangelical community.

The video, called “God Made Trump,” was shared by the former president on his Truth Social account Friday morning. In the video, a narrator paraphrases the Bible while describing Trump as “a man who cares for the flock” and “a shepherd to mankind who won’t ever leave nor forsake them.”

“I find it absolutely sickening, period,” said Michael Demastus, pastor of the Fort Des Moines Church of Christ. “Trump is not the Messiah.”

The video begins as a parody of Paul Harvey’s famous “So God Made a Farmer” speech, opening with a shot of the earth. A narrator says, “And on June 14, 1946, God looked down on his planned paradise and said, ‘I need a caretaker,’ so God gave us Trump.” A similar video about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis circulated in 2022.

The Trump video includes repeated religious references and quotations from the Bible. A narrator describes Trump as one who “follow(s) the path and remain(s) strong in faith.” He paraphrases Psalm 140 to describe the “fake news media” — with “their tongues as sharp as a serpents” and “the poison of vipers ... on their lips” — and credits Trump with “finish(ing) a hard week’s work by attending church on Sunday.” [...]

#Republicans #Trump #video #politics #election #Iowa