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#bible stories for sunday school
thebirdandhersong · 10 months
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I'd love to know how you honour the Sabbath and keep it holy if you do observe it, if you have certain family/community practices or traditions, what denomination you're a part of and how that affects/forms your Sabbath-keeping, how and when you started observing the Sabbath, and what hopes/goals/thoughts you might have, if you don't observe and want to/don't observe regularly/don't observe in a way that is restful!
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vulpinesaint · 2 months
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do you have a favorite bible translation
gonna be so real with you i stopped believing in god when i was fifteen and i was never an avid bible reader (it was boring and i did not do well with being bored. hated sitting through church services) so if i read a bible passage at ALL that was a fair miracle much less comparing translations. that said the bible version that REALLY lives with me is this one that they gave us in our confirmation classes lmao
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dragonanne · 2 years
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Sunday school lesson artwork for this week 😁 These were pretty fun!
The Grumbling of the Israelites, Caleb & Joshua’s Report, and The Report of Giants
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📖
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timmurleyart · 2 years
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Rising up. ✝️🌺🌸🌷
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robynsassenmyview · 3 months
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A sound to shatter glass
"A sound to shatter glass", a review of episode 14 of Martyn le Roux's serialised podcast, 'Die Soutwaterheks'.
BOUNDLESS magical energy and broken links explored in episode 14 of Martyn le Roux’s Die Soutwaterheks. ENERGY HAS A foreverness that completely transcends humanity’s knowledge, explains Salacia, the mermaid, in episode 14 of Martyn le Roux’s serialised podcast, Die Soutwaterheks, which you can find here. She gets Frans and his sea buddies to remember the lessons of Sunday School and understand…
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krishmanvith · 6 months
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revolant · 7 months
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Watching karev list off the plagues under his breath on the orthodox Jewish girl heart surgery episode has unlocked something within me
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fatpinkbitch · 2 years
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I had to explain the story of the tower of Babel to my gf so she could understand my "unbabel's your tower" joke in the comments of that post about people speaking different languages to each other
Very sad.
Why does no one appreciate my wit and humour, it's honestly a disgrace.
I am a king of comedy surrounded by unfunny peasants
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machetegirl109 · 9 months
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Synopsis: After spending the whole Bible study daydreaming of Abby, she finally makes your fantasies come true. *inspiration: vacation bible school by ayesha erotica*
Warnings: 18+, MDNI, F/F, modern!AU, suggestive and offensive language, religion, abby&reader are 18, smut, angst, switch!abby&reader, dom!abby, sub!reader, thigh riding, fingering(r&a!receiving), oral(a!receiving), no aftercare, mean!abby x reader
important info about my stories here
©machetegirl109 (credits to VBS by ayesha erotica that inspired me to write this) DO NOT copy/steal my work OR post it on any platforms
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Word Count: 2.6k+
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Oneshot: Vacation Bible School
❝︎and like every other shitty love story
you came and went❞︎
Church camp happens every year during the summer. It lasts for a week; during this time, you live together in cabins, explore the outdoors, and dine in community, all while learning about religion.
You’ve been taking part in attending ever since you were a little kid. The campgrounds are filled with kids, teens, and young adults. The VBS director would be supervising the assisting staff that consisted of other members of the Christian church, where they were divided into group leaders, an audio/video coordinator, music director, Bible story tellers, game leaders, craft supervisors, and kitchen staff.
This year would be the last summer camp trip for you and the other 18 year-olds before you all start college.
Every year you’d be eager for the summertime, wanting nothing more than to arrive at the huge campsite with lots of green space, bushes and trees, picnic tables and a bonfire. Paths that led to the big main cabin where indoor activities and supper were held, another that led to multiple smaller cabins scattered around a secluded area with some portable wooden toilets by the end of the trail and finally a path that led to the forest where a beautiful river was at as well as a hiking trail.
Although you did enjoy being surrounded by the calming nature and your fellow church peers, what made you anxiously wait for the one week vacation every year was her. Abby Anderson. You two met years ago when you were kids, having to spend the days around each other as you two learned about Jesus and his rules. You and the blonde girl quickly became friends; however you never spoke to each other outside the camping grounds. In day-to-day life, you would only admire her from a distance. Whether it was on the Sunday evening services, or at the school; you paid attention to Abby’s movement as she kneeled to pray, or when she talked to those around her.
Something about her made your hands shake with nervousness, your heart skipped beats just by the thought of her so, so pretty eyes and her strong arms—
“What do you say, miss Y/N?” The pastor interrupts your thoughts and you move your eyes from Abby who’s sitting in front of you to his direction.
“I’m sorry, pastor. What was the question again?”
“What is the message in Ephesians 5:3?” He asks again and your peers, who are seated in a chair circle as the pastor stands in the middle, turn their heads towards you as they all wait for an answer.
“Uh, I… I don’t know…I’m sorry.” You shamefully look at your hands down on lap.
“That is okay, Y/N. We are all here to learn, isn't that right kids?” They all move their heads up and down, agreeing with the pastor. “Can anyone tell me what is the message in Ephesians 5:3?”
“I can.” One of the students complied.
“Yes, Abigail. Go ahead.” As soon as he calls out her name, your head shots up and you’re looking at the girl in front of you again. She clears her throat and before she begins to speak, her eyes meet yours.
“But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be onced named among you, as becometh saints;” Abby concludes, her blue eyes never leaving yours. Soon, the priest thanks her for the answer, proceeding with his class and the blonde gives you a small smile. She manspreads on her chair and you feel the blood pump faster into your veins as your body grows hot.
Abby is wearing a white tank top that exposes her strong muscles, black skinny jeans with a heavy-looking belt as well as a pair of black chuck taylor’s. You can’t help but wonder how she would look on top of you, with her blonde hair forming a curtain around your head and her big hands roaming through your body.
After spending the rest of the Bible study distracted staring at the pretty blonde across from you, the class comes to an end. “Alright,kids, that will be all for today. Go ahead and enjoy your last day here and make sure to be ready to attend the bonfire tonight!” The priest leaves the open room located inside the main cabin and soon the students follow behind. Each leaving at their own pace as they conversate with their friends. You look around you and notice Abby is still seated in her chair, like you. She smirks before standing up, making her way to you.
“You seemed a bit distracted. Anything interesting in your mind?” Abby reaches her hand out for you to hold as you leave your chair.
“Oh, nothing, it’s stupid. “ You smile shyly and hold onto her, who soon drops your hand after helping you up. She hums in response as she licks her lips and points her head towards the door, hinting you to follow her as she begins to walk.
“Well, now I need to know what stupid thing you were possibly thinking about while you stared at me the whole study.” You hide your face in your palms, cringing at how you shamelessly looked at her during the class.
“Sorry…” You muffle through your hands before dropping them to your sides again. “I didn’t mean to stare.” Abby lets out a small laugh at your reaction, loving the way you get so shy around her. You two keep walking until you reach the path that led to the area where many small cabins were scattered around.
“It’s fine, I don’t mind.” She quickly scans the area around, checking to see if anyone can see or hear the two of you. “I think I already know what you were thinking about, though.” Her eyes drop to your plump lips and your throat goes dry.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You play dumb and Abby chuckles.
“Hm. I think we were both thinking about the same stupid things.” She raises her hand to your cheek, lightly massaging the pad of her thumb onto your soft skin and then pushing it down to your bottom lip. You feel as if your heart dropped to your core as heat and pulse grows inside your panties. Her hand teasingly grips your neck before she drops it and takes one of your hands into hers, guiding two walk towards the portable wood toilets by the end of the trail.
She looks around once again, checking for people and opens the door as she rushly gets in, pulling you with her and shutting the door closed. Your back presses into the wood as one of her hands pushes you against the wall by the neck. Abby’s blue eyes turned a shade darker, desired in them as she placed her knee between your legs, earning a small moan from you.
“You’ve been watching me the whole week,” She says as her free hand creeps under the hem of your shirt, fingers lightly tingling the skin of your stomach. “But I’ve been watching you too.” She palms your left breast harshly, flicking her calloused finger on your nipple and you feel yourself getting wetter by the second. “You know the expression you make when you stare at me?”
You stay silent and her grip around your neck tightens.
“When I ask something, you answer.” Abby says softly and removes her hand from your chest, sliding it down to the side of your hips, carving her short nails into your skin as she moves you to grind against her hard thigh; making you bite your lips as you feel your clothed cunt rub deliciously against the material of her jeans. “Answer me, Y/N.”
“I-I don’t know, Abby…”
“You stare at me with this really pathetic expression on your face,” The lights inside the small compartment die down suddenly before turning back on – And as you look at Abby again, a shit-eating grin appear on her pretty lips.
“The expression of someone who just really wants me to fuck them stupid.” You snake your arms around her neck and she lets go of yours, now hugging your waist as she guides your movements. “Do you want me to fuck you stupid?” Abby whispers in your ear with a rough voice.
“Yes-Yes, Abby. Ple-please.” You ask as you hide your face onto her neck, her pinewood scent filling your nostrils and you moan into her skin. Your hot breath hits against her neck and Abby feels your arousal mark a spot on her pants. A soft blush runs over her soft freckled face and her boxers start to feel heavy by her own wetness.
“Please what, angel?”
“Ple-please fuck me, Abby.” You remove your head from its previous position and forcefully grabs the back of her hair, pulling her face towards yours as your lips smack together. Abby bites and pulls onto your bottom lip and soon her tongue sneaks into your mouth, making the kiss become more heated and sloppy. She hugs your waist tighter. “I want you,” You say in between the kisses. “Jus-just fuck me already, ple-please.”
Abby lets out a moan by hearing your pleas and holds your hips still as she lower her lips to your neck. She nibbles and licks at your skin and you let out heavy breaths and pleasure filled moans. She moves one of her hands to your exposed thigh due your skirt riding up, and she slowly slides it closer and closer to your heat as she caresses your hot skin. Soon enough she cups your pussy through your dripping wet panties, the feeling of her warm hand sends a wave of electricity through your body and you moan her name out.
“I've been wanting to do this all week,” Abby confesses. She slowly drags your panties to the side and runs two fingers up your slick, collecting the liquid of your excitement. “Fuck… You’re so fucking wet for me. So ready for me, baby.” She gives you a quick and soft peck on the lips and suddenly thrusts her ring and middle finger inside your weeping cunt.
“Ah ah ah Abby!” You moan as you feel her fingers filling you. Abby begins to move her fingers in-and-out of you, starting off slow and soon she picks up the pace, pumping them fast and with precision inside you. You rock your hips, following her fingers' pace, causing your clit to deliciously and harshly rub against the palm of her hand. “Fuck Abby,,, you're–ahh fucking me so good…”
Abby lets out a quiet laugh and leans in for another messy kiss, saliva dripping off of both your chins as you make out. She soon fingers into you deeper than before, the tip of her fingers meeting that spongy spot inside you. She presses onto it and you rub your clit harder into her palm. You break the kiss, lips swollen for the biting and sucking.
“I'm gon-gonna cum,”
“I'm here, angel. Cum for me, baby.” Soon something inside you snaps and you feel your body shake as a pleasure washes over you.
“Such a good fucking girl, making a mess all over my hand.” Abby helps you ride out your high, her hand and leg drenched from you as she carefully removes her fingers from your sensitive cunt, letting out a hiccup once you feel empty again. You attempt to catch your breath, chest rising up and down rapidly as you both look at eachother. You hold her hand towards your mouth, cleaning her sticky fingers from your orgasm and she opens a small smile.
“You're so hot,” Abby says giving you one more kiss before removing her leg from in between yours.”So fuckin’ dirty for me.” You kiss her back, pulling at her bottom lip and asking for tongue passage which she happily obliged to. Pushing Abby against the wall, your hands fall to her hips, undoing her white studded belt and letting it fall to the ground. “You're gonna make me feel good, Angel?” She smirks upon seeing a naughty look on your face and you nod.
“Yeah, Abby, I'll make you feel so good…” You kiss her lips and neck one last time before you move towards her breasts and stomach. When you reach her crotch, you shamelessly rub your face against it, causing her to gasp and moan as she forces you onto the floor by your shoulders.
Abby helps you unbutton her pants and you bring them down along with her boxers as you kneel in front of her, the smell of her pussy makes your mouth water. She frees one of her ankles from the clothes, propping her leg over your shoulder and you snake your arm around her tight to keep her secure. She looks down at you, looking like a pretty and desperate little slut just for her. One of her hands goes to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to her glistening lips. You lay your tongue out and you slowly lick her slick bottom to top, reaching her throbbing bud and giving it a harsh suck.
“Uhmm, fuck,” She moans upon the contact, pushing her hips closer to you mouth. “Yeah, just like that, baby.” You finally bury your tongue into her cunt, exploring her as she lets out a string of breathless moans. Abby begins to grind against your face, your soft muscle lapping on her mouthwatering pussy and your nose softly and deliciously brushing against her clit. “Look at me,” She pats your head and you bring your eyes up to her but never stopping fucking your tongue into her. “Lookin’ so beautiful on your knees for me, ahh– s-so so fucking perfect,”
Abby soon feels the tension that sits on the bottom of her stomach is about to explode. Her moves become more messy and rapid as she chases your face. The leg that is up your shoulder starts to shake, the trembling of her body making her to hold onto your free shoulder for support. You notice Abby will soon break and change the focus of your thrust to her needy button, lick and circling your tongue on it and adding two fingers into her.
“D-don't stop, fuckfuckfuc–” Her hips stutter as you scissor your fingers into her, never stopping giving attention to her clit. You feel her pussy gushing around you and she soon releases her juices, making a mess on your hand and face. Abby breaks eye contact as she presses the back of her head onto the wooden wall. She closes her eyes and furrows her brows while coming down from her orgasm. You distance your mouth from her now sensitive clit and gently remove your fingers from her. She drops her leg off of your shoulder and you, still on your knees, move to help her fix her pants and belt.
“No, it’s okay,” Abby moves away from your touch, making you slowly stand back on your feet. “I can do it.” She pushes her black jeans back up and grabs her belt off the floor, quickly wrapping them around the waistband of her jeans. You quietly observe her, hopeful thoughts run around your head, thoughts about you and Abby becoming closer after today – The last day of camp. “So, uhh,” She nervously runs her hand through her blonde strands as her face displays a shameful and regretful expression.
“We should get going, th-the last bonfire will start soon…” You feel as if the ground disappeared, your heart squeezes inside your chest and tears form in your eyes. “Uhm… I'll see you around, yeah?” She quickly exits, leaving you alone in the compartment. You look down at your knees, red and swollen from all the kneeling, and then you look around the small porta wooden potty, your hand palms your face as you take in what just happened. Regret fills you for what you and Abby just did – In a damn porta potty, at church camp nonetheless – and at how easy you gave yourself to her, only to be tossed away just as easily.
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ೃ⁀➷ thank you for reading! feel free to comment your thoughts, reblog, leave a heart and follow me˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
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holdmytesseract · 2 months
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Yay open requests! :)
Hmmm, I want to see you write a one-shot where the Reader is a travelling actor who comes to Aldwinter to perform for the town with her troupe, and Will Ransom of course becomes romantically fascinated by the reader while she's there. That's all, I'll let you determine how far it goes between them. ^_^
And if I may be selfish, maybe make the Reader a larger-sized redhead (like me) haha
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Attraction
Will Ransome x fem!Reader
Summary: When a travelling actor comes to Aldwinter, Will is completely swept off his feet; hit by the arrow of love.
Warnings: mutual pining (sort of)? fluff, lil' bit of suggestive smut - blink and you'll miss it, not exactly a happy end - but there's hope! tell me if I missed something!
Word Count: 2,4k
a/n: Sorry this took me so long, friend! 🥺 I really hope you like this! It's been a while since I lastly wrote for Will, but I tried my best. 🧡
Tags: @lady-rose-moon @muddyorbsblr @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @jennyggggrrr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @asgards-princess-of-mischief @vanilla-daydreaming @loz-3 @captain-camille @lovingchoices14 @lokidbadguy @icytrickster17 @lulubelle814 @mandywholock1980 @november-rayne @chantsdemarins @simping-for-marvel @lou12346789 @lokiforever @multifandom-worlds @hisredheadedgoddess28 @vbecker10 @jaidenhawke @km-ffluv @crimson25 @cakesandtom @buttercupcookies-blog @salvinaa @javagirl328 @dustychinchilla74 @coldnique @eleniblue @frzntrx @huntedmusicgardenn @mochie85
Masterlist
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Will's eyes roamed the quite big crowd of people, as he stepped carefully down the few steps which led to the altar. On a Sunday mass like today, the little chapel Reverend Ransome called his own, was always bustling with people. Something which made the vicar very happy. He gave friendly, confident looks left and right, as he made his way down the aisle and stopped close to the door. It was a tradition for him to personally see off his churchgoer.
After all, they were his sheep - and he was the sheepherder.
Once almost everyone had bid their goodbyes and only a few people were left, Will suddenly recognised another familiar face within the small group of people... And he was the last one to stand up from the pew.
"Dear Sir Ambrose!" Reverend Ransome called out his old friend with a smile. "What takes you to Aldwinter on this rainy Sunday? I haven’t seen you around in months!" Charles laughed and grabbed the hand of his friend; shaking it thoroughly. "Well... I had to go to Essex anyway this weekend. Business trip," he said; winking. "Therefore, I decided to go to mass in Aldwinter and visit my friend!"
"Well, I am delighted to see you, Charles." "So am I."
The two men talked for a bit. About everything and anything, until... "Charles, I know you well... This business trip and the want to visit me can't be the only reason you're here..." Charles laughed up again; clapping his friend on the shoulder. "You indeed know me well, William. These are truly not the only reasons... Let us sit down."
Will let himself guide to a pew by Ambrose, before they sat down beside each other.
"I have something you might be interested in... It concerns the children in school, here in Aldwinter." Will nodded; pricking up his ears at the word 'children'. "I am all ears, Charles."
"Our children came home from school last week - entirely excited and happy, and when my dear wife asked what was going on, they told her about how they had been visited by a wonderful lady and her troupe. They said they told them stories - bible stories, but not only through words... They dressed up and did a play! Like in a theatre! Can you imagine, Will!"
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The vicar's eyes went wide in fascination, wonder and excitement. "Charles, that... That is fascinating!" The man beside him nodded. "It truly is. I soke out the lady and her troupe, of course and she would be willing to make a stop in Aldwinter, too - next week! They're heading to Essex anyway. What do you say? I thought it would be great for the children here."
Will smiled and nodded. "Yes, please do so. That would be indeed wonderful." Charles smiled. "Great! I am going to contact the dear lady then and tell her to ask for revered Will Ransome when in Aldwinter.
Aldwinter was a sweet, cosy village. You had to admit that. Sure, it could be cold and rainy - like you heard, but summers here were wonderful.
The warm sun was shining on your face, as you walked together with your troupe towards the tavern Sir Ambrose told you to go and where you could stay during your time in Aldwinter. With curious eyes, you looked around. You had never been here before. You never were long at the same place, after all. As a travelling player, you were one day here and the next day miles away - but you wouldn't want it any other way. It was the life you chose and loved with all your heart.
After the kind woman described the way, you walked the short distance to the church; hoping that you took the right paths. You did. Seeing the elderly, but beautifully crafted building, you smiled and tuck a strand of loose red hair nervously out of your face and cautiously stepped through the wooden doors. There was no one to be seen.
Once you reached said tavern, you told your fellow companions to go and settle, while you would meet the contact person Ambrose arranged for you.
"Excuse me?" You approached the lady in a dress and apron, as she cleaned up some tables in said tavern. At your words, she looked up to face you. "Yes?" You gave her a gentle smile. "I'm looking for reverend Ransome... Do you know where I can find him?" "Sure, miss. You'll most likely find him in the church at this time of the day." "And how do I get to the church? Apologies, I've never been in Aldwinter before." "Oh that's not a problem, miss." The lady smiled and put her rag away; wiping her hands on her apron. "The church is not difficult to find..."
"Apologies, Miss. I was up the stairs; sorting some things. I didn't hear you right away."
"Hello?" You called out; walking down the aisle. "Mr. Ransome?"
Just when you were about to call out again, you heard some rustling coming from another room; probably the backroom and only mere seconds later there were steps. They grew louder and louder, until they revealed the man you had been searching for - or well, told to go to...
... and you had expected a lot, but certainly not that.
Reverend William Ransome sounded to you like you were going to be face to face with an elderly, friendly man with glasses; perhaps in his fifties. You were wrong... Oh so wrong...
You swallowed; were taken aback by the man's beauty. You had never seen a more stunning man than him - and you had seen a lot as an travelling actor...
In front of you stood a tall man in his late thirties, probably early forties. Longer, blonde-brown curls framed his face, which seemed to be carved out of marble. High cheekbones, a sharp jawline, stunning blue eyes and perfectly shaped lips and nose. The beard covering his cheeks, chin and upper lip suited him without a doubt.
Will wore brown cord trousers which were attached to brown braces. Underneath those, was a puffy white shirt covering his upper body - but not entirely. Two buttons were undone; displaying a little bit of his chest and the fine, dark hairs which grew there.
"You must be the famous Miss Y/L/N." Will smiled and stretched out his hand. "Will Ransome. I'm the vicar of this cosy, little town." Still a bit stunned you placed your hand in his. Will brought it up to his lips; bestowing a small kiss upon your knuckles. His lips were so soft and gentle, you almost melted on the spot. His beard tickled your skin; leaving a burning sensation behind - in the best way possible.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Reverend." You smiled; trying to not lose your composure. "I'm Y/N Y/L/N, indeed." The vicar smiled back at you; blue eyes sparkling. "The pleasure is mine."
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Will offered you to sit inside his little office, so you could talk about the performance and when you and your fellow companions were ready to perform. You noticed that you got along very well with the man sitting opposite of you. Clearly, you were sharing a great chemistry. He was the sweetest, kindest and most polite man you ever met - and he seemed so enamoured with what you were doing for a living.
A date for the play was quickly settled... Tomorrow morning, as soon as the children finished school.
Will watched your every move; completely fascinated and enthralled. He hung on your every word.
Sure, he was watching all of the fantastic players; performing the story of Moses, but you... You were so special. Whenever you spoke, Will's eyes seemed to light up and he couldn't help the smile on his face.
The vicar didn't know what exactly it was that got him so hooked, but he couldn't deny it...
Was it your talent? Your passion? Your beautiful, kind and determined character? Was it your beauty itself? Perhaps all of it?
Will couldn't point it out.
"I-I wanted to-" Will had to clear his throat. "I wanted to ask, if you'd be interested in a little sightseeing tour through Aldwinter tomorrow?" He gave you a nervous smile. "That is very kind of you, Will, but... We actually don't stay longer than a few days at one place, so..." Will nodded. "I-I understand. But please... Just one more day. I'd like to give something in return for your wonderful work." You bit your lip; weighing your options, but then sighed.
After the show ended and all of the children had left with their parents and Will had bid them goodbye, he cautiously approached the woman he couldn't get off his mind again.
"Miss Y/N?"
His deep, yet smooth voice urged to your ears; causing you to smile as you packed your utensils together. "Yes, Mr. Ransome?" The vicar lifted a hand; "Please... Call me Will." smiling as well. "Will," you repeated - and caused Will's heart to speed up. Hearing you roll off his name from your tongue did something to the man of god.
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"Alright. One more day."
The vicar smiled, "Thank you." and helped you to pack your troupes things together.
You watched him help Gabriel - one of your colleagues and couldn't help but smile. You've never met a kinder man in your life and you had to admit that you could not wait to spend the day with him tomorrow, but... Was it really a good idea?
While you spent the next day in Aldwinter, the others decided to go to Essex. Aldwinter was too boring for them - something you absolutely didn't agree with. Yes, the weather was moody and often not the best, but nevertheless was it a beautiful, cosy, little town. You liked it - and especially the vicar who lived there.
I could get used to this, you caught yourself thinking; immediately slapping yourself across the cheek - in your head.
You met Will rather late in the morning after breakfast. He had a few things to do - duties to follow as the people's reverend; therefore it was almost lunch time when he stood in front of your room at the tavern.
He showed you around - like promised. The beach. The sometimes quite scary and dangerous marshes. The beautiful forests and of course the town itself. Will introduced you to a few important people and in closing of the day, he invited you over to his little house for dinner.
You were completely amazed and excited about the fact that Will was an excellent cook. The Shepherd's Pie he cooked was delicious, and you dared to say like no other than you've eaten before.
His smile even widened.
Later that evening - it was already dark outside, you were seated beside him on his little sofa; a glass of wine in both his and your hands.
"Thank you for showing me your home, Will. Aldwinter is beautiful." You smiled and took a sip of your wine. The man reciprocated your smile; gave you a dazzling one of his own. "I'm delighted to hear that, Miss-" Y/N..." You interrupted him. "Call me Y/N."
"Y/N..." You nodded. "I really enjoyed it. The time we spent together." Perhaps was the alcohol you had consumed making you a little bold. "You are a very kind man, Will." He blushed, "Thank you, I... I am flattered." and inched closer to you. "And you are the most beautiful and talented woman I have ever met."
You blinked; were almost blushing, too. "Mr. Ransome are you... Are you trying to woo me?" A small, kind of nervous chuckle left the vicar's lips. "Perhaps."
You shook your head; drinking from the wine again. "But we hardly know each other..." "I-I know, but..." He swallowed. "You fascinate me, Y/N. You attracted my attention like no woman did before, I... I feel as if an invisible rope is pulling me to you. A higher power, which keeps on shoving me into your direction. I-I just... I can't help it. I feel myself utterly attracted to you."
Once again you started to shake your head, "Will... Stop it, please..." and sighed. "We can't give into this. I'm going to leave tomorrow and we'll probably never see each other again."
"Please..." The man beside you begged then; seeing how you struggled. Will wasn't a man who took advantage of this situation, but he felt how torn you were. How you actually wanted this and was just held back by the 'What if...'.
"We?" It was everything the vicar was focused on. "We can't give into this?"
You realised the mistake you made way too late.
"Does that mean you feel the same?" Will's heart sped up after those words left his lips. Words filled with hope.
"I-I-I..." You didn't know what to say. It was true, but you forbid your body to feel it; knowing exactly that it would only lead to pain.
He inched even closer, until your thigh almost touched his.
"Just one kiss..." The reverend whispered and before you could do or say something, your lips melted against his. Will sighed in the kiss; hands landing on your waist.
"Tell me to stop and I will." He said in a gentle voice, while he pulled you onto his lap.
You let it happen.
Just one kiss turned into two - and two turned into way much more, until-
Will closed his eyes for a moment. It wasn't a nightmare... Far from it...
Will ripped his eyes open, only to find himself breathing quick and heavy. Sweat pooled on his chest; coating the fine hairs growing there. His puffy night shirt was totally dishevelled - just like his hair.
The vicar sat up in bed. As he moved, he felt the tightness of his underwear and the straining arousal inside.
He had dreamed of her again. Y/N. The beautiful woman with flaming red hair and stunning Y/E/C. The woman who had fascinated him like no other, when she visited Aldwinter a few months back to perform a play with her troupe. The woman which whom he had spent a wonderful night with - and who had left him to live her dream and travel around the world as a player; leaving only a letter and her shawl behind.
Will smiled; remembering the words written on the piece of paper.
One day, l promise I'll come back to you - if you are willing to wait for me.
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hot-take-tournament · 8 months
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HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT!
TOURNAMENT OVERTIME #166
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Submission 515
if you must ship Jesus with one of his disciples then at least ship him with John
look I'm a Christian (but like not the bad kind) and I don't personally ship Jesus with anyone cause that feels a bit too much rpf-y for me but I see people (jokingly, I assume, for the most part, but also this is the internet so I know some people are very serious about this) ship Jesus with either Judas or Peter and like....... tell me your knowledge of the Bible is the few Bible stories you remembered from sunday school as a kid without telling me that your knowledge of the Bible is the few Bible stories you remembered from sunday school as a kid. like yeah sure there's all these great stories about these guys that kids learn about! everyone who has some basic knowledge of the whole easter deal knows Judas and if you've learned any stories about Jesus with the disciples then you probably know about Peter. but like........ John is the guy. like go read the book of John if you don't believe me. like this is the guy who is canonically (fun reminder that the term "canon" originates from people discussing the Bible long long ago) "the disciple who Jesus loved." like Sufjan Stevens, king of "is he talking about his boyfriend or Jesus" refers to John & Jesus' relationships in his song "John My Beloved" which is hella gay and like it's all right there!!!!!! like this is so strange for me to be invested in because I'm not like someone who actively ships them but like if I wasn't religious and all I would be all over this and the fact that people keep being like "hehe Jesus and Judas~~~" when there's like no textual evidence for that!!! it's just people seeing the kiss of betrayal and liking some dramatic stuff!!! and the people who bring up Peter instead are the same!!! like you're just applying fanfic tropes to a dynamic and deciding that you like it instead of like looking at what's actually there in canon!!!!!!!! like at least do cool blasphemy or whatever I hate that I care about this. I hate that I wrote all of this. I have no dog in this fight. whoever wins I lose because I don't want to care about this in any way but I do and it's horrible and I just wish people would at least talk about the guy who when having to read his gospel like a year ago for something, I was left with the thought of "huh....... if I didn't know any better I'd say that there was something going on here"
Propaganda is encouraged!
Also, remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure!
Now this is the discourse I live for.
Also, if your otp is chriscariot (Jesus/Judas) or chrisrock (Jesus/Simon Peter), fight for your ship in the notes!
167 notes · View notes
wolfythewitch · 10 months
Note
My dad is literally reverend and the whole family helps with his church/community/it's-kinda-weird-but-bear-with-me, but I've never been so invested in the bible fandom like I am now that I found your work, bless you, you're officially my dad's favorite person <3
Also, fun little story: My parents are divorced, I went back to living with my dad when I was nine, and before that I lived with my mom in another state. We went to church (that is, I went to the church with the dad of my mom's boyfriend) and they were catholic I think ?? So yeah, I was at the church A LOT, I think I went to Sunday School once, it was pretty boring and I never went to it again (also I made too many questions so. UHM).
So, one of my hobbies back then was like. Reading the Bible... straight from genesis. But I read it like it was a storybook, so I would mark the page where I stopped and would keep reading the next time an adult left their Bible around (also, they were so reckless about their Bibles, like, for people who called it Holy Book).
Unfortunately I never finished reading it, but maybe I will, who knows. Also, this only made me realize how batshit insane I was as a child, like, I did just so many stuff that was weird but not really weird, you know ? Like, I want to do these things again. I pushed a bunch of kids to the other side of a room, made them fall, stood up in a plastic table and said “I'M THE QUEEN OF KINDERGARTEN” once and I was so real for that.
Anyways, au revoir ! Hope I managed to entertain you with some bits and pieces of my childhood shenanigans, stay safe and stuff
THE REVEREND?
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jrob64 · 21 days
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Pet for Rent , Chapter 3/4 (The Adoption) A CS Modern AU Story
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Ready for Chapter 3? Here we go!
Thanks to all of you who are reading and liking this story that was purely written because it was therapeutic for me. It was a year ago today that my Zeke was diagnosed with cancer. This is also written for all of you who have sent a beloved pet over the rainbow bridge yourself. I hope you find it an uplifting story, even though it was born from a broken heart.
Chapters on Tumblr - Ch 1 (The Meet Cute) Ch 2 (The Idea)
Chapter summary: Emma and Killian go out on a date, and Winston has his 'gotcha' day.
Rating: M (for smut in the last chapter, which can easily be skipped if that's not your thing)
Words: 7108
Also posted to Ao3 and ffn
Story begins under the cut
“Wake up, kid,” Emma said the next morning, gently shaking her son.
Henry rolled over and rubbed his eyes, then looked at the Minecraft clock on his nightstand. “You never wake me up this early on Sunday.”
“I know, but we’re going to church today.”
He pushed himself up in bed, yawning widely. “We usually watch it virtually, though. You said you like to do it that way.”
“Yeah well, today I thought we would go to Gentle Shepherd Church. I’ve heard good things about it, including the fact that it has a Sunday School class for you and an adult one for me.””
  “I thought only kids had Sunday School classes.”
“Well, Killian said the adult class is more like a Bible Study.”
“So this is the church where Killian goes?”
“Yeah. It is,” Emma said.
“Oh, boy!” Henry exclaimed, throwing the covers off and jumping out of bed. “That’s where Mr. and Mrs. Nolan go, too!”
Emma laughed. “I guess you do pay attention sometimes.”
“Do I have to dress up?”
“Killian said it’s casual. Just wear your khakis and a nice shirt. I’m going to get breakfast started.”
“Can we have pancakes?”
“If you promise not to get syrup on your clothes,” she replied, as she left the room.
As they ate, Henry wondered aloud if anyone from his class at school went to the church they were going to attend.
“It’s very possible, there are only three churches in town.”
“That would be cool! Are we going to sit with Killian?” he asked, before shoving a huge forkful of pancake in his mouth.
“Take smaller bites, Henry. I don’t want to have to give you the Heimlich manuever this morning.” That earned her a mischievous grin around his mouthful of food. “I don’t know who we’ll sit with, honestly. Belle and Liam go to that church, also.”
Henry swallowed. “They do? I haven’t seen Belle for a long time, and I never met Liam.”
“It has been a while. Hopefully, we’ll be seeing her more often.” She took a drink of her coffee, then slowly set the mug back on the table. “Listen Henry, I need to tell you something.”
He swirled his last bite of pancake through the small lake of syrup on his plate, then looked up at her curiously. “What?”
“I, uh, I talked to Killian last night after you went to bed, and um, he asked me to go out with him.”
Henry’s eyes widened. “On a date?”
“Yeah.”
“When?”
“Tuesday evening. I’m going to ask Belle if she can watch you. Is that okay?”
“Uh-huh,” he said, his shoulders rising and falling in a non-chalant shrug. “Where are you going?”
“Out to eat at that nice Italian restaurant down by the harbor.”
“Okay,” he said, then put the remainder of the pancake in his mouth.
“Are you sure you don’t mind?”
He swallowed before saying, “I like Killian. He’s always really nice to me, and to you, too. Plus he likes soccer and dogs.”
Emma chuckled. “I guess that makes him a good guy, huh?”
Henry nodded, grinning widely. “Yep.”
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Emma pulled into the parking lot, marveling at the number of vehicles already parked there. She hadn’t realized so many people attended the church.
When she first came to town, she took Henry to a different church a few blocks away, but they didn’t have a nursery and Henry was too active to sit still through an entire service. By the time it was over, she was worn out from trying to keep him quiet, received several dirty looks from sanctimonious people, and had gotten nothing out of the sermon. After a few weeks, she gave up and started watching live church services that were posted on YouTube instead.
“There’s Killian’s car,” Henry piped up from the back seat, having spotted his black Elantra.
Emma pulled into the open space beside it and cut the engine. Looking in the rearview mirror, she pushed strands of hair behind her ear and checked her lipstick.
“You look good, Mom,” Henry said. “I haven’t seen you wear a dress for a long time.”
She smiled at him in the mirror. “Thanks, kid. I haven’t had a reason to wear one for a while. I figured I might as well since they’ve just been hanging in my closet.”
They exited the car and approached the building, wondering which door to enter.
“Hi, Henry!” a voice called from behind them.
They turned to see one of Henry’s classmates from school “Hey, Nicholas! I was hoping some of my friends would be here.”
“John, Devin and Mike will be here, too. We’re all in class together, and so are some of the girls.” Both boys rolled their eyes.
“Be nice,” Emma admonished.
They followed Nicholas and his family in through the side door, which led to the Sunday School rooms at the back of the church building. Emma walked with her son back to the class room where Nicholas led them, and met his teacher, Miss Bell.
“The kids all call me Tink,” she told Emma when she introduced herself. “Because of my last name, and the fact that apparently I look like a fairy.”
Emma laughed. “I suppose I can see that,” she said, taking in the petite form of the other woman. After seeing that Heny seemed to be comfortably settling in, she returned to the hallway, searching for the area where the adult class met.
“Emma!”
She turned to see Belle approaching, Liam’s hand clasped in her own as he trailed behind his fiancée. “Hey, you guys. It’s good to see you,” Emma said.
“You, too,” Belle chirped. “After all the times I’ve invited you to join us here at church, what made you decide to come today?”
Liam draped his arm around Belle’s shoulder. “Come now, Sweetheart, do you really need to ask that question? I think she might have gotten an invitation from my little brother.”
“Younger brother, you mean.” Emma turned to see Killian walking up behind her. “Good morning, Belle, Liam. Good morning, Swan. I’m very happy to see you made it. Is Henry already in his classroom?”
“Yeah, I just dropped him off. He’s excited to know several of the other kids.”
“Good! Our class meets in there,” he said, gesturing to a large room to her right.
They walked in to see two dozen people milling around, chatting with one another. Emma instantly spotted Henry’s school teacher, who smiled and waved when she saw her enter the room. Then she saw David walk in with two cups of coffee, one of which he handed to his wife.
“Would you like some coffee, Emma?” Killian asked.
“Uh, sure. That would be great. One sugar, please.”
“Have a seat anywhere. I’ll be right back.”
She watched him go, then sought out Belle and Liam, who had struck up a conversation with the Nolans. Walking over, she smiled at everyone. “Hello.”
“Good morning!” David’s wife greeted cheerfully. “I’m so happy to see you here, Ms. Swan.”
“I’m happy to be here, but please call me Emma.”
“Of course, and you can call me Mary Margaret, although Mrs. Nolan might be a little less of a mouthful!”
David chuckled, looking at his wife adoringly, before turning his eyes toward Emma. “This is the first time you’ve been to this church, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is. I’ve gotten into the habit of watching church services on YouTube on Sunday mornings, but with Henry getting older, I wanted to find a church that offered classes for a kid his age. Killian was telling me about the Bible study and the Sunday School program here and I thought we would give it a try.”
“Did I hear my name?” Killian said, coming up beside her. He gave her the coffee and a grin.
“Aye, we were just talking about the world’s biggest pratts,” Liam said.
“Liam!” Belle admonished, elbowing him. “We’re in church!”
“Could everyone please take their seats so we can get started?” a man with curly, red hair announced.
“That’s Archie, the teacher of the class,” Killian told Emma, gesturing to two open seats.
They sat down with Belle on Emma’s right and David on Killian’s left. “He’s the town psychiatrist, isn’t he?” Emma asked quietly.
“Aye. He leads excellent discussions in class and is great at getting everyone involved.”
Forty-five minutes later, Emma completely agreed with Killian’s statement about Archie Hopper. She thoroughly enjoyed the Bible study and was eager to find out if Henry liked his class, too. That question was answered when she stepped out into the hallway and her son came bounding toward her, grinning from ear to ear.
“How was it, kid?” she asked, unnecessarily.
“It was great, Mom! Can we come back next week?”
The church service proved to be inspirational and quite enjoyable, too. They sat in a pew between Killian, and Nicholas’ family. Afterwards, they stayed and chatted with several people Emma recognized from town, all of them making the newcomers feel very welcome.
When the service ended and it was time to leave, Emma and Killian shared a conspiratorial look before she asked Henry, “Hey kid, how would you like to have lunch with Killian?”
“At Granny’s?” he asked.
“No,” Killian chuckled. “Granny closes her diner on Sundays. Didn’t you see her in the choir?”
“Oh, yeah. I didn’t think about that,” Henry said. “Where will we go, then?”
“Killian invited us to his place to make sub sandwiches. How does that sound?”
Henry turned towards Killian. “Do you have bologna?”
Killian grimaced. “Afraid not. I won’t have that vile stuff in my home. I have ham, turkey, salami and cheese.”
“Ketchup?” Henry asked hopefully.
Trying to control another grimace, Killian said, “Aye, if you insist on it, I do have ketchup.”
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Killian lived in a two-story apartment building at the opposite end of town from Emma and Henry’s house. After they made their sandwiches and ate lunch, Killian showed them around. Besides the open kitchen/dining/living room area, it included a decent sized bathroom and two bedrooms, one of which he used as his office for work.
His apartment was on the first floor, and the sliding back doors opened out into a fenced-in common area for the building. The yard wasn’t huge, but it was big enough for a swing set for the children who lived there, as well as an open, grassy space, shaded by a couple of large trees.
As Henry stood looking around the area, Killian moved behind him and put his hands on his shoulders. “What do you think, lad? Is the yard big enough for a dog?”
Henry slowly turned his head to look up at him. “Are you getting one?”
Emma moved to stand in front of him. “Killian and I have been talking. I’ve been saying it wouldn’t be fair to adopt Norman because he would have to be cooped up in a crate all day…”
“But I work from home, so I’m here all day…”
“So if we adopted Norman…” She looked up at Killian, encouraging him to continue.
“I could take care of him during the day and he would stay with you in the evenings and overnight.”
Henry’s head was swiveling back and forth as the adults explained their plan, the confused look on his face morphing into one of surprise and cautious happiness. “So…so you’re saying we’re gonna adopt him?”
“If you promise to help take care of him and train him to obey,” Emma said.
“I will! I promise!” he shouted, flinging his arms around her waist. “Thank you, Mom!”
“You’re welcome,” she said, kissing the top of his head. “We wouldn’t be able to do it without Killian, though.”
Immediately he ended their hug and turned to give Killian one. “Thank you!”
“You’re very welcome, lad. I’m looking forward to having Win-, er, Norman as a companion, too.”
“We really ought to decide on one name,” Emma said. “He’s going to be confused if we’re calling him two different things.”
“Well, I suppose the better choice is Norman, since that’s the name the shelter gave him.”
“Do you think Norman is a good name, Mom?” Henry asked.
Emma shrugged her shoulders. “One name is as good as the other, as far as I’m concerned. You and Killian figure it out.”
“Let Henry name him,” Killian said. “I consider the dog to be his.”
“What do you think, kid?”
Henry scrunched up his face in thought. “Remember the book you read to me a long time ago that had a really mean woman in it? Her name was Norman, wasn’t it?”
“Her name was Norma,” Emma chuckled.
“It kinda sounds the same and you had to stop reading that book because she scared me, remember?”
“Are you saying you prefer Winston?”
He lifted one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “I guess. Is that alright?”
“Fine by me. Like Killian said, it’s up to you.”
“Winston will be so happy we’re adopting him!” Henry declared.
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Killian called David the next day to tell him of their plans to adopt the dog. David was very excited and told Killian the paperwork would be ready and he would have Winston fully vetted, licensed, chipped and groomed by the time they picked him up on Saturday.
When Killian called to relay this news to Emma that evening, she said, “I’ll pay the adoption fees, since he’s going to be Henry’s dog.”
“Emma…”
“No, I want to do this. That way, if you do move away, I won’t feel bad about you paying for a dog you don’t get to keep.”
He was quiet for several moments, considering her offer. “Okay, I’ll agree on one condition - that you let me pay for his food, treats and toys for the first month.”
“That will probably add up to more than the adoption fees,” she teased.
“That’s entirely possible,” he agreed, chuckling. “I understand Liam is going to come over with Belle to watch Henry tomorrow evening. Are you okay with that?”
“Yeah, I already talked to Belle about it today. I told her not to do anything that might scar my kid.”
Killian laughed again. “Poor Belle, she’ll have to make sure two kids behave.”
They chatted for another hour, finalizing plans for their date and discussing everything they would need for Winston. When they finally ended the call, Killian sat staring at his phone for several minutes, deep in thought. Emma’s comment about him possibly moving away had him mentally ticking off the pros and cons of such a move.
When he finished, he had far more reasons to stay, and the one at the top of the list was Emma Swan.
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“Mom! Belle and Liam are here!” Henry yelled.
Emma quickly finished applying her tinted lip glss, then did a final inspection in the full-lenth mirror. She was wearing a 3⁄4 sleeve deep red dress with a modest V neckline, the straight hemline falling just above her knees. Her ensemble was completed with black heels, silver jewelry and a black clutch purse. She’d spent extra time applying smokey eye makeup and curling her hair, which fell loosely down her back.
Satisfied with her reflection, she pulled her black and white houndstooth peacoat out of the closet and left the bedroom. Henry was just getting ready to open the door when she entered the living room.
“I’ll get the door, kid. You know I don’t like you to open it.”
“But I already saw who it is,” he protested.
“Sorry, but that’s the rule,” she reminded him, moving to the door as a knock sounded. She opened it to reveal Belle with Liam standing close behind.
“Oh, Emma, you look lovely!” the other woman exclaimed.
“She’s right,” Liam agreed. “You look far too nice to be going out with my little brother.”
Emma laughed and gestured them inside. “Thank you, but I think he would object to being called your little brother.” She took their coats to hang up, showed them where the emergency numbers were, and gave them instructions for Henry’s bedtime routine.
Just as she finished, there was another knock on the door. Before going to answer it, she gave the engaged couple a nervous smile and ran her hands down the front of her dress.
When she opened the door, all her nerves seemed to fly away, replaced with a sense of happiness at the prospect of going out with the man in front of her. Killian stood there, scratching behind his ear, a habit she found incredibly endearing. He was dressed in dark gray slacks, a white button down shirt and navy blue sports coat. She was pleased to see his eyes widen slightly when he saw her.
“Swan, you look…stunning,” he said.
“Thank you, Killian. You clean up pretty well yourself.”
“Hi, Killian!” Henry piped up, coming to stand beside his mother.
“Hello, lad. Are you ready for a fun evening with Belle?”
“What about me?” Liam asked, appearing behind Henry. “I’m a fun guy.”
“You make yourself sound like a mushroom, brother,” Killian snickered.
Liam folded his arms over his broad chest. “Are you really sure you want to go out with this idiot, Emma?”
“Yes, she is,” Belle said, “and the two of you are wasting time with your banter. Emma, you and Killian go and have a wonderful time. Don’t worry about Henry. He’s in good hands.”
“I know,” Emma said, bending down to kiss her son’s cheek. “Be good and listen to Belle and Liam, okay?”
“I will. Have fun, Mom.” Wrapping his arms around her, he added, “I love you.”
“I love you too, kid.”
“Goodnight, lad,” Killian said, ruffling the boy’s hair.
“‘G’night, Killian. See you Saturday!”
During their exchange, Emma went to get her coat and purse from the kitchen chair where she left them. When she returned, Killian took the coat from her and held it up for her to put on. After saying their final goodbyes, he escorted her down the sidewalk to his car, his hand resting on the small of her back.
Once they were both buckled into the comfortable leather seats, he looked over at her, picked up her hand, brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “You truly do look beautiful this evening, Love.”
“Thank you,” she replied, knowing that her cheeks were beginning to turn the same color as her dress.
Giving her one more smile, he started the car and pulled away from the curb. Emma had wondered if things would be awkward between them during the date, but they carried on their conversation just as easily as they had from the very first day.
Each time she went out with a man, she caught herself constantly checking the time on her phone and wondering how Henry was doing. Tonight however, she was so caught up enjoying the good food, wine, and the handsome man she was with, she completely lost track of time. When she finally checked her phone screen as they pulled up in front of her house, she was shocked to find it was nearly eleven o’clock.
Killian opened her door and offered his hand to help her out of the car. They continued holding hands as they strolled casually up the sidewalk, the early autumn air cool against their cheeks.
When they reached her front door, she turned to him with a demure smile. “I suppose this is where I tell you I had a wonderful time and debate whether or not I should give you a kiss.”
He chuckled lowly. “Aye, I suppose it is. So tell me, Swan, what’s the verdict? Did you have a wonderful time?”
She put her hands on his chest, rubbing them over the lapels of his jacket. “Yes, I did. I don’t date very often, and this is by far the best date I’ve had in a very long time, maybe ever. I find it very easy to talk to you.”
“I feel the same, Emma,” he said, taking a step closer to her. “Now, have you made your decision about…”
She didn’t give him a chance to finish. Pushing up on her toes, she pressed her lips to his, wrapping her arms around his neck as she felt his encircle her waist. She intended the kiss to be brief, but found she quite enjoyed it and didn’t want it to end.
It was interrupted when the light outside her front door suddenly turned on, nearly blinding them despite their eyes being closed.
“What the bloody…” Killian began, just as the door swung open.
“Tsk, tsk, little brother,” Liam said with a maddening smirk on his face. “Kissing on the very first date? Wouldn’t that be considered bad form?”
“Liam, bloody hell!” Killian retorted.
At the same time, Belle’s voice could be heard from the living room. “Liam Albert Jones! That was mean! Just for that, you won’t be getting a kiss from me tonight when you take me home!”
As Liam pleaded his case, Emma giggled into Killian’s chest. “I guess our date is officially over.”
“Next time, could you please ask Belle not to bring my wanker of a brother along to watch Henry?”
“Next time?” Emma questioned. “I don’t remember you asking for a second date.”
Killian reached around her to close the door, then gazed into her eyes. “Will you go out with me again?” he asked quietly.
Her eyes darted back and forth between his, floored at the depth of hope and sincerity she saw there. She opened her mouth to answer him, but instead found herself kissing him again. This time, when they separated, she leaned her forehead against his with a sigh of contentment.
“May I take that as a yes?” he whispered.
“Absolutely,” she breathed. “Thank you for a fun and memorable evening, Killian.”
“It was my pleasure, Emma. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay.” Turning around, she opened the door slightly, then glanced back over her shoulder. “Goodnight, Killian.”
“Goodnight,” he replied.
She went inside and closed the door, leaning against it with a dreamy smile on her face. She had nearly forgotten she wasn’t alone, and was startled when Belle spoke.
“If that look on your face is anything to go by, I don’t need to ask if you had a good time.”
Emma could feel herself blushing, but gave her friend a smile and said, “I really did. We’re planning to go out again. By the way, Killian requested that if you watch Henry when we do, you forbid Liam to come along with you.”
While Belle laughed, Liam said, “Henry will disagree with that. He had a lot of fun with his Uncle Liam tonight.”
Emma’s jaw dropped. “You told him to call you ‘uncle’? Why did you do that?”
“He didn’t, he’s pulling your leg,” Belle explained, glaring at her fiancé. “I’m happy to report that Henry was much better behaved than Liam, who is going to have to earn his way back into my good graces.”
Hiding her giggle behind her hand, Emma listened to the couple playfully bicker, still able to feel Killian’s kiss on her lips and the happiness in her heart.
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On Friday, Emma picked Henry up from his after school sitter Ashley’s house and they went to Killian’s apartment. He insisted on making them homemade pizza before going to the store to buy necessities for Winston.
Henry chattered animatedly throughout supper, the topics ranging from how much he loved the pizza and who he sat with at lunch, to the new book he checked out at the school library. Most of all, he talked about all the things he and Winston would do together and how he would train him.
Emma and Killian shared humorous glances across the table while they listened. Since their date, they had texted each other a few times during the day and carried on lengthy phone conversations every evening after Henry went to sleep.
When they pulled into the parking lot of the pet supply store, Killian turned off the car as Emma looked back at her son. “Now, remember Henry, we have quite a bit of stuff left from Ernie, so we’re not going to buy a lot, okay?”
“Okay, but we can help Killian pick out everything he needs, right?”
Before Emma could answer, Killian said, “Of course, lad.”
“You might regret that,” she murmured, earning her a grin.
As they browsed the aisles, Emma slipped her hand into Killian’s. She felt him give it a squeeze and looked over to see him gazing at her with a warm smile. Then she turned her attention back to her son, who was examining the assortment of collars and leashes.
“What color do you think Winston likes better - red or orange?”
“Dogs are color blind, kid,” Emma informed him, “so I don’t think he will care one way or another.”
“Oh, yeah,” Henry said. “Well, which one do you like, Killian?”
“I recently developed quite a fondness for red,” he answered, giving Emma a wink. She blushed, knowing he was referring to the dress she wore for their date.
“That’s my favorite, too,” Henry declared, selecting a red leash from the rack. Emma and Killian helped him pick out a matching collar that was the right size for the fifty pound dog. They were added to the cart Henry was pushing, then they moved on to the aisle containing the dog beds.
As they looked over the display, Emma took the leash from the cart and studied the tag. “This says it’s good for dogs up to fifty pounds,” she read. “I think we should get the next bigger size, don’t you?”
Henry and Killian both agreed, and Emma left to go replace it. When she returned, she stopped short at the end of the aisle, blinking back sudden tears. Henry was kneeling on the floor in front of the beds, running his hands over them as he carried on a commentary about which one was the softest. Killian crouched beside him, his hand on the boy’s back, his attention completely focused on what Henry was saying.
For eight years, Emma denied herself a relationship with a man because she hadn’t met one that she thought would be a good match, not only for her, but more importantly for her son. Either they got skittish when they found out she had a son, or they tried too hard, overcompensating for their lack of experience with kids.
Then, thanks to a simple mistake on her part, she met a man who was fitting into their life so naturally, it was almost too good to be true. Her heart as a mother swelled witnessing how well Killian and Henry got along and what a truly wonderful role model Killian was for her son. At the same time, her heart as a woman fluttered at the possibility of finding someone who could be a perfect match for her.
Taking in a deep, steadying breath, she walked down the aisle to join the two most important people in her life.
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Saturday morning, Henry knelt on the sofa, his arms crossed on the back of it as he watched intently out the window for Killian’s car. Emma shook her head at her son’s impatience, but in all honesty, she was just as excited for the man to arrive.
Once they finished shopping the previous evening, Killian invited them in to watch a movie. The three of them browsed through the options on Killian’s streaming platforms, ultimately allowing Henry to choose The Super Mario Bros. Movie.
Killian made a huge batch of popcorn and the three of them settled on the couch to watch. Henry sat in the middle, holding the bowl with his eyes glued to the screen. Emma and Killian found themselves enjoying the movie too, even though they originally didn’t think it would hold any interest for them.
By the time the final credits rolled, the boy’s head was lolling against Killian’s arm. When Emma tried to get her son to wake up so they could go home, Killian took pity on the sleepy child and easily lifted him into his arms to carry him to Emma’s car. Before getting in the car herself, she and Killian shared a short, sweet kiss and she promised to call after Henry was in bed.
After arriving home and getting her son settled, Emma talked to Killian until she was starting to fall asleep and he teased her about finding him boring. The entire evening caused her emerging feelings for him to deepen even more.
Now, she was standing behind her son, watching for the familiar black car to turn the corner.
“Do you think he forgot?” Henry asked.
“He said he would be here at nine-thirty and he has ten more minutes. Try to be patient.”
Henry turned around, sat down, then rested his head against the back of the couch and heaved a sigh. “I just want to go get my dog.”
“I know, kid,” Emma soothed, rubbing her hand over his hair. “I’m excited to bring him home, too.” Glancing out the window, she smiled and said, “Look who’s here.”
His head shot up and he jumped off the couch, shouting, “He’s here! He’s here! Let’s go!”
Killian didn’t even have a chance to put the car in park before Henry was sprinting out the door, with his mother following behind him, still pulling on her coat.
Killian had just climbed out of the car when Emma reached the end of the sidewalk. “He’s a little eager to get there,” she said dryly.
“You don’t say,” Killian chuckled, looking into the back seat where Henry was already buckled in, nearly vibrating with excitement. Brushing a kiss against her cheek, Killian placed a hand on the small of her back to escort her around the rear of the car.
When they arrived at the shelter, Henry jumped out, clutching the new collar and leash in his hands. “C’mon, Mom,” he urged, hopping from foot to foot as he waited impatiently for the adults.
“Hold your horses, kid,” Emma replied, stepping from the car and closing the door as Killian did the same. “We have to sign some paperwork and pay the adoption fees, so it’s going to be a little while before Mr. Nolan brings Winston to you.”
“I know,” he said, “but the faster we go in there, the sooner we’ll get him.”
“You’ve got a point,” Emma agreed.
The three of them crossed the parking lot and Killian held the door for them to go inside. David was sitting at the desk behind the counter, a huge grin creasing his face when he saw them enter.
“Good morning!” he greeted. “I think Nor-, um, Winston senses something is going on. He was very excited when I fed him and let him out in the exercise yard this morning.”
“He probably knows it’s his ‘gotcha day’!” Henry declared. Turning to his mother, he added, “I told you he’s smart!”
David chuckled as he spread the paperwork out on the counter. After explaining each page, Emma signed where he told her and wrote a check for the fees. Henry gave him the collar so he could attach the dog license and chip information to it, then he asked the boy if he wanted to go with him to get Winston. To no one’s surprise, Henry jumped at the chance.
While they waited, Emma moved closer to Killian, reaching out to take his hands. “Thanks again for helping make this happen. It’s been hard watching Henry grieve for Ernie and have to tell him we can’t get another dog.”
“I can imagine, Love. I’m very happy I could help.” Dipping his head, he met her willing lips to share a kiss with her. After it ended, he said, “We need to plan our next date.”
“Yeah, about that,” she said, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, “I’m not sure it’s a good idea to leave Winston with Belle and Liam until he gets a little more used to his surroundings.”
He nodded in understanding. “That’s true. Well, if we can’t go out on a date, perhaps we can plan one where we stay in.”
“At my place or yours?”
Before he had a chance to answer, the door to the back opened and Winston came through, straining forward on his leash and practically dragging Henry behind him. Emma and Killian bent down to try to pet the whirling dervish of a dog, attempting to get him to settle down.
“I think you’re right about him knowing something special is happening, Dave,” Killian said. “I’ve never seen him act this way.”
“Dogs seem to have instincts about these things,” David noted.
“Is he ready to go?” Emma asked.
“Yep, he’s all yours!” David replied happily. Reaching down, he scratched the dog behind the ears. “Be good, Winston. Enjoy your new family!”
They went out the front door, laughing at the way the dog practically strutted to the car. Once they were all buckled in, including Winston with his new doggy safety belt, Killian drove out of the parking lot. Henry patted the dog’s head and said, “You’ll never have to come back here again, boy. You’re going to live with us forever.”
The drive back to Emma’s seemed to go much more quickly than the one to the shelter. Killian pulled up to the curb and Emma reminded Henry to hold tightly to Winston’s leash so he wouldn’t run into the street.
Killian walked up the sidewalk behind them, but stopped short of following them into the house. When Emma realized it, she asked, “Aren’t you coming in?”
“I, uh, I didn’t want to assume.”
“If you don’t mind sharing me with a boy and a dog, we can consider today a date,” she grinned.
He returned the grin. “Sounds good to me.”
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  After a full day of romping and playing with Winston, it was easy getting Henry to go to bed that evening. When Emma went into his room after he was done showering and brushing his teeth, she found him already under the covers with the dog laying beside him.
“He does have a bed, you know,” she said, without any intention of making the dog move.
“He likes it here, don’t you boy?” Henry said, rubbing the dog’s belly.
“If he needs to go out in the middle of the night, make sure you wake me up, okay?”
“I will,” he yawned. “Are we going to church tomorrow?”
“I’m planning on it. David said Winston seems to be crate trained, so we’ll see how he does in there for a couple of hours.”
They went through Henry’s bedtime routine and he was already asleep by the time she read one page of their current book.
“He’s one happy kid,” Emma said as she went back into the living room and sat down beside Killian on the sofa. “And you played a big part in making him feel that way.”
Killian toyed with the hem of his button-down. “You give me far too much credit, Love.”
“Why do you say that?” she asked, reaching out to tangle her fingers with his fidgeting ones.
“Because he’s been a happy lad since the first day I met him, and none of that was due to me. It goes to prove that he has a wonderful mother.”
“Some days I’m not so sure about that.”
He kept his head down, studying their entwined hands for several moments. Without looking at her, he said quietly, “Remember I told you that the woman I was dating previously was married?”
“Yeah.”
“She was several years older than me, and not only did she hide her marital status from me, she also failed to tell me she had a son.”
“Oh, wow,” Emma said. “That really must have come as a shock.”
“Aye, it did,” Killian affirmed. “One day after we broke up, I parked along the street down from his school and watched her arrive to walk him home. I wasn’t being a stalker, I was just curious. Her son was about the same age Henry is now, but he was nothing like your boy.” He finally looked up at her. “I’ve never seen a child look as sad and dejected as her son. It was as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his small shoulders.”
“Poor little boy.”
“Aye, and I’m sure it was because of the choices his parents made. They cared only for themselves and their own gratification, not about how they were affecting their son.” He reached forward to brush a wayward strand of hair away from her face. “Emma, it’s quite obvious that starting from your very first decision to bring Henry into the world and raise him by yourself, you’ve made his happiness your priority. It’s one of the things I admire the most about you.”
Her face warmed from his praise. Scooting a little closer, she leaned against him and he put his arm around her, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I enjoyed our date today,” he said, “and I certainly didn’t mind sharing you with Henry and Winston. It did my heart good to see how much they love each other already.”
“Winston was sleeping on Henry’s bed and looked completely comfortable there. I just hope he doesn’t wake us up too many times during the night.”
“Well, he’s past the puppy stage and wasn’t able to go out at night while he was at the shelter, so maybe he won’t get you up at all.”
“That would be nice. I don’t want to be yawning during the sermon tomorrow.”
He leaned back to look at her. “I’m happy to hear you’re coming to church again.”
“Yeah, Henry and I both really liked our classes and I thought the service was great. I especially enjoyed the music.”
“I heard you singing. You have a beautiful voice.”
“Thank you,” she said, her face reddening again. “I didn’t realize I was singing that loudly.”
“I don’t think you were, I was just standing close to you. You shouldn’t be self-conscious about singing praises to God, anyway.”
“That’s true,” she agreed, snuggling closer to him. “Do you want to watch something?”
“If it’s all the same to you, I’m quite content just talking,” he murmured.
“Mmm, me too,” she hummed. “Why is it always so easy to talk to you?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps we’re soul mates.”
“Do you believe there is such a thing as soul mates?” she asked, looking up into his face.
“I didn’t,” he replied. “Until I met you.”
Their lips connected for a long, sweet, languid kiss.
“Killian?” she whispered, when they parted just enough for her to talk.
“Yes, Love?”
“Maybe I’m not content just to talk.”
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Emma went to bed two hours later with the taste and feel of Killian’s lips still lingering on hers. He starred in her dreams and she awoke the next morning with a smile on her face. After yawning and stretching, she realized Henry hadn’t woken her up at all during the night to put Winston out.
Throwing back the covers, she quickly padded down the hall to his room. Peeking around the edge of his slightly open door, she smiled at the sight of the boy and dog still asleep.
After showering and getting dressed, she woke them up, took Winston out while Henry dressed, and went back inside to fix breakfast. As she was stirring the scrambled eggs, Henry entered the kitchen and immediately went to get Winston’s food bowl. They had already agreed that feeding him and keeping his water bowl filled would be Henry’s responsibility.
They sat down to eat and Emma smiled at the sight of the dog sitting right beside Henry’s chair. “Don’t forget that we’re not feeding him from the table. I don’t want him to get into the habit of begging, like Ernie did.”
“I know,” Henry said, then chewed thoughtfully for several seconds. He swallowed and said, “Mom?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you love Killian?”
Emma really wished she hadn’t just taken a sip of coffee, because she nearly choked on it. With watering eyes, she asked, “What makes you think that?”
He shrugged. “You guys hold hands and sit really close together and everything. I even saw him kiss you. You have to love somebody to kiss them, don’t you?”
Emma’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times, resembling a fish out of water. She thought she and Killian had been discreet when they shared brief kisses, but apparently her son witnessed at least one of them.
“Killian and I, we…we’re just dating, Henry,” she finally managed to say. “People date to get to know each other, to…to see if they might, um, fall in love. Kissing is a part of dating, but it doesn’t mean we love each other.”
“So you don’t love him?”
“I…I honestly don’t know yet. I do like him and I like spending time with him. He’s fun and he makes me laugh.” She leaned across the table and placed her hand on top of Henry’s forearm. “How do you feel about me dating Killian? It’s always been just you and me. Would you be upset if he and I did fall in love?”
“Would you get married?”
The question took her by surprise, but she maintained eye contact with him, wanting to show him how much his opinion mattered. “Not without you being okay with it. You always come first, Henry, and I won’t do anything to make you unhappy.”
“I wouldn’t be unhappy if you fell in love with Killian and married him.”
“You wouldn’t?”
He shook his head decisively. “Nope. I like him. He’s really nice to me and I can tell he makes you happy. You smile and laugh a lot more when he’s around. I think it would be cool to have Killian as my dad. That’s what he would be if you got married, right?”
“Technically, he would be your step-dad, but that doesn’t make any difference and I’m sure it wouldn’t matter to Killian, either. I appreciate how he treats you and how he likes spending time with you.”
“Yeah, me too. And Mom?”
“Hmm?”
“I think you, me, Killian and Winston would make a great family.”
She smiled and gently squeezed his arm. “I think so too, kid.”
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Thanks so much for reading. The last chapter will be posted next week!
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ausetkmt · 10 months
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Northview High School English teacher Vicki Baggett during an interview with Studio 850 in September 2022. (Screenshot via Facebook)
Vicki Baggett, an English teacher at Northview High School in Florida, is pushing for the Escambia County School District to remove nearly 150 books from school libraries. In an interview last month, Baggett told Popular Information that she is challenging books like When Wilma Rudolph Played Basketball — the story of a sprinter who overcame racial discrimination to become an Olympic champion — because she's concerned the book could make white students "feel uncomfortable." Baggett said she has "a responsibility to protect minors" from this kind of content. 
While Baggett claims she is keeping inappropriate content away from children, her former and current students tell Popular Information that Baggett openly promoted racist and homophobic beliefs in class. 
Peggy Sunday, who graduated from Northview in 2021, told Popular Information that, during a 10th-grade English class, Baggett said she opposed interracial marriage. "[Baggett] said in the Bible somewhere it says that it is a sin for races to mix together and that whites are meant to be with whites and blacks are meant to be with blacks," Sunday alleged. About 15 students, from a variety of racial backgrounds, were enrolled in the class.
Another student in the same class, Stone Pressley, recalled the same incident. Pressley said that Baggett said she was opposed to "race mixing" because "she wanted to preserve cultures" and "didn't want everyone to turn the same color eventually." Pressley said that although Baggett had a reputation for controversial remarks, he found Baggett's comments on interracial relationships "shocking." After the incident, Pressley recalled asking his science teacher if it was possible, as Baggett claimed, for everyone to be "the same color one day." 
Another student in the class, Hamza Jacobs, confirmed Baggett's comments opposing "race mixing." A fourth student in the class, who asked to remain anonymous due to the nature of the allegations and Baggett's standing in a small community, also confirmed the episode. 
Sunday said that Baggett is known throughout Northview as an "openly racist teacher." Sunday worked at a local pool and, one day, Baggett asked her about "the black-to-white" ratio. According to Sunday, Baggett then asked two Black students if they "knew how to swim" because "most black people don't know how to swim." The incident was confirmed by one of the Black students targeted by Baggett, who asked to remain anonymous. That student said Baggett "asked me and another girl of color in my class 'could we swim because black people usually can’t.'" Jacobs and Pressley also confirmed the incident. 
A Black student in the class also alleged Baggett said that "she didn't understand why black people get tattoos in black ink" because "you can’t even see them." Pressley and Sunday confirmed the incident. Sunday and Jacobs recalled Baggett frequently commenting on the hair of a Black female student. Sunday said Baggett questioned why the young woman wore hair extensions and asked if her hair "was heavy or hurt her." 
Popular Information previously reported that, in 2015, Baggett posted an image of the Confederate Flag to her Facebook page. In the December 2022 interview, Baggett defended the posting, because "everyone in my clan fought in the Civil War" and she was not "ashamed of that." Baggett added that she was a member of the Daughters of the Confederacy, which has been designated as part of the Neo-Confederate movement.
The Escambia County School District did not answer a detailed list of questions about Baggett's behavior but did provide the following statement to Popular Information: "We categorically condemn any form of discriminatory speech. Our mission is to reach all students, regardless of race, background, or gender identity."
Baggett did not respond to multiple requests for comment about the allegations made by her students. She has, however, continued to submit challenges to books in Escambia County school libraries. Most recently, Baggett challenged a bestselling book of poetry available in high school libraries, The Sun and Her Flowers, on January 5. 
Baggett accuses a student of "faking being a lesbian" 
Both Sunday and Pressley recalled another incident involving Baggett that "the whole school talked about." According to Sunday, Baggett told a 10th-grade student that her sister, who had a girlfriend, was "faking being a lesbian for attention." Baggett allegedly said that "nobody's born that way." 
The incident was confirmed by a student, who asked to remain anonymous, who witnessed Baggett's comments. Popular Information also confirmed the identity of the targeted student and her sister but is not publishing their identities due to the nature of the allegations. 
In September 2019, a Northview parent emailed principal Michael Sherrill objecting strenuously to Baggett's classroom conduct. (The email was obtained by Popular Information on the condition that the identity of the parent not be disclosed.) In the letter, the parent accused Baggett of "a toxic and hostile learning environment for her students" and asked that "a full investigation of her actions be conducted." 
The letter states that Baggett "has expressed her utter distaste for homosexuals to her students." According to the parent, Baggett "stated she thinks homosexuals are DUMB/STUPID for wearing the rainbow and pink colors because, according to Mrs. Baggett, that is the way that Hitler marked homosexual males during the Holocaust." (The pink triangle was used by Nazis but has been reclaimed by the LGBTQ community as a symbol of pride.) The parent expressed concern that these comments would make students in her class feel "judged" and "humiliated."
Many of the books challenged by Baggett have LGBTQ themes. Among the books challenged by Baggett is And Tango Makes Three. The book is the story of two male penguins, Roy and Silo. The pair build a nest together and raise an adopted child, Tango. Baggett alleges the book promotes the "LGBTQ agenda using penguins." On the form, Baggett said she believes the purpose of the book is "indoctrination."
In the December 2022 interview with Popular Information, Baggett said And Tango Makes Three includes sexual "innuendo" and K-3 students are "too young to even be concerned about sex." Baggett explained that she objected to the book because if a second grader read the book "that idea would pop into the second grader's mind… that these are two people of the same sex that love each other." Baggett's challenge says the book is inappropriate for all grade levels. 
The September 2019 parent letter also claims that Baggett "openly stated that men and women should 'Know Their Role.'" Baggett allegedly said that "men are the protectors and the women are the nurturers" and that is why "women have the children and the men go to work to provide and protect the women." 
The parent demanded their child "be removed from Mrs. Baggett’s classroom effective immediately." But the parent told Popular Information that no action was taken in response to their complaint. The school did not address the specific allegations in the letter, and Principal Sherrill told the parent that Baggett was "a good person." 
A former student in Baggett's class told Popular Information that, despite her "wild" conduct in class, "a lot of people were scared" to complain to administrators about Baggett. Northview is a small high school, with about 90 people in each graduating class, and Baggett has taught English at Northview for more than 30 years. 
Inside Baggett's classroom today
Baggett is seeking to remove books like When Wilma Rudolph Played Basketball from Escambia County libraries, claiming texts that detail historic discrimination amount to "race-baiting." The form Baggett submitted to the school district says When Wilma Rudolph Played Basketball "opines prejudice based on race" and is inappropriate for students in any grade.
But a current student in Baggett's 12th grade English class told Popular Information that Baggett's curriculum includes texts that cover racial issues in crude terms. Popular Information is withholding the name of the student because the student is a minor and is currently enrolled in Baggett's class.
Among the texts covered in Baggett's 12th grade English class this academic year was A Good Man Is Hard to Find by Flannery O'Connor, an acclaimed but controversial author. (See "How Racist Was Flannery O'Connor?" in the New Yorker.) In A Good Man Is Hard to Find, a man named Edgar Atkins Teagarden courts a woman by leaving a watermelon at her doorstep every Saturday carved with his initials — E.A.T. The punchline is that a Black child, referred to in the story with the n-word, ate the watermelon because he interpreted Teagarden's initials as an invitation. 
According to the student, Baggett played an audio version of the story that included the unredacted racial slur. During the classroom discussion, Baggett also allegedly spelled out the n-word, which the student said made many of her classmates uncomfortable. Another student in the class posted a screenshot of the of the passage from A Good Man Is Hard to Find with the n-word to social media, commenting that it was a "regular day in Ms. Baggett's class."
Baggett previously told Popular Information that her 12th grade class included texts with the n-word. But Baggett claimed that when the text was read in the classroom, she "basically skipped over" the part of the book that included the slur because it was her job to make "students all feel comfortable." (During the December 2022 interview, Baggett herself used the racial slur in full oin describing the incident.) Baggett declined to name the text, so it's unclear if it was A Good Man Is Hard to Find or another story. 
There is nothing particularly unusual about including a Flannery O'Connor story in a 12th grade English class. But it highlights a troubling contradiction in Baggett's approach. Baggett maintains that A Good Man Is Hard to Find is appropriate for high school students but books like When Wilma Rudolph Played Basketball and And Tango Makes Three are inappropriate andshould be removed from all school libraries. 
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queer-reader-07 · 2 months
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Making a Home in the Liminal Space
I grew up catholic. I was born into it, baptized as an infant, first communion in second grade, roughly 8 years in catholic school, and all of it culminated in getting confirmed at age 14. Catholicism was my life, in many ways it was my only constant in life. Schools changed, people came and went, but church was always there. Every Sunday with my family and every Wednesday with my classmates I found myself either in the pews ready to pray or in the choir area ready to play the hand chimes throughout Mass. I went to catechism every Wednesday night for years in elementary school. I attended youth group with my friends. There are still parts of the Bible that I know like the back of my hand.
But then I grew up. I grew up and I realized that I thought girls were pretty in a way that gave me butterflies in my stomach and that I didn’t quite feel like a girl anymore. I grew up and I went through changing labels before I found words like ‘queer’ and ‘trans’ and ‘asexual’ that made me feel at home. And while that home is comforting in so many ways it is also not a home that is compatible with the religion that held me for so long. Catholicism was my life, I was in Church at least twice a week for years of my life. But Catholicism doesn’t leave room for queerness, it doesn’t embrace and hold close what I am. Who I am.
A friend asked me recently if I still I identify as catholic. If I, someone who is now staunchly leftist and proudly and openly queer, aligned with a religion that is so notoriously bigoted and conservative. Easy answer, right? Just say no? How could someone like me ever call themselves a catholic? And good god, I wish it were that simple.
Because, the thing is, I tried to just say no. I tried to say “eh not really,” but it felt so deeply disingenuous. It felt wrong. How do I denounce a faith that was my life for 15 years with a simple “no”? How do I go from staunch catholic to atheist in the blink of an eye? I can’t.
To be honest, I’m not sure where I fall on the spectrum of spirituality and religiosity. It feels like a lie to say I believe in God, but it doesn’t feel anymore honest to say that I don’t believe in God.
I know I believe in love. I believe in the power we as people have to do wonderful and amazing things. I believe in hope’s ability to help one through the darkest of times. I believe in humanity, in the human story. But none of that is mutually exclusive from religion, from Catholicism.
I think, right now, I exist in the liminal space between catholic and atheist. I can’t bring myself to align myself with an institution that doesn’t believe in my right to exist. But I also can’t bring myself to fully denounce the faith that held me for so many years. I can’t bring myself to denounce the faith that was my only real constant for all those years. I haven’t been to Church on my own volition in ages, yet I refuse to take down the rosary adorned crucifix above my bed. I don’t pray all that often anymore and yet I could recite the Our Father without a second thought. I don’t go around professing any faith in God and yet the phrases “good lord” and “for the love of all that is holy” seem to leave my mouth daily. These are the things that make up the liminal space. The not quite prayer, the familiar comfort of a crucifix and rosaries about my bed, the acceptance that I’ll never have a secular vocabulary. It’s weird, it’s contradictory, and yet here I am existing in it.
There is still so much beauty I find in the world that feels like it must be more than mere coincidence. I think a lot about hope. About how it feels so unique to the human condition and I can’t help but wonder why. Did someone, something, endow us with hope? So that we could never cease in our endeavors of discovery and creativity? So that we would not lose sight of a better future? Or, did we just get lucky?
But I don’t think that’s God, necessarily. I don’t know that it’s one being, but I’m not confident it’s no being.
Existing in the liminal space is difficult. Because to be here is to know you can’t ever go back while still grappling with where you’re meant to go now. I hope that one day I find a new home, a home that isn’t built on guilt and shame for merely daring to exist. But for now, I am making a home in the liminal space. I am letting this liminal space hold me in any way it can while I work to figure out what I am outside of the church. And I hope that wherever I go next— whatever space becomes my home after I outgrow the liminal space— I hope it welcomes me with open arms and a warm embrace.
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