Absolutely smitten by Rayne Ames the moment I saw him. Look i'm a sucker for self-sacrificing characters. And that got me thinking...
Schoolmate! Rayne Ames who is the Golden boy of Easton Academy; Academics? Looks? Talent? Skills? The teacher's love him, every girl loves him, the boys want to be him, and parent's wish their children were like him. He's got it all, so what's not to like about him?
And enter you, a perfectly average student who can't seem to excel at anything other than subjects you're passionate/interested about. Compared to Rayne Ames, you're nothing, not even a pebble at a sidewalk.. So when midterm results came out… you feel like your soul’s about to ascend to heaven
Schoolmate! Rayne Ames who’s as cold as the northern winds, even his fangirls have a hard time approaching him! but that won't deter you from approaching him! Not when your grades are on the line!
Schoolmate! Rayne Ames who you begged to tutor you! And if he refuses, you threaten to tell everyone how he has a soft spot for rabbits, thereby ruining his image! HA! He can't have that now can he?!
Schoolmate! Rayne Ames who absolutely does not care if you tell everyone about his fondness for rabbits; he’s got his priorities straight, he couldn’t care less about some nobody. But upon seeing how genuine you are about needing his help, relented.
Schoolmate! Rayne Ames who’s tutoring methods are brutal. You feel like a recruit being told by his superiors to do 100 pushups! You feel like you're about to cry. Ahhh, just what the hell did you put yourself into, you’d rather go to sleep, but you have to push through! Think about your parents, who worked their asses off to enroll you in a prestigious school!
Schoolmate! Rayne Ames who was the first person you told about your finals exam result. He didn't seem like it but deep down he’s very proud of you! Your score may not be the same as his but Rayne knows how much effort you put to achieve a high score.
Schoolmate! Rayne Ames who found himself always waiting for you. It's Lunchtime? You’ll come to his room to fetch him, so you two can have lunch together. It’s a semester break and there's a festival near the town? You’ll come to his dorm room so both of you can enjoy it together.
And oh, there’s a prize you really want but can’t seem to get because you suck at the game? He’ll win it for you. There’s a stuffed toy who seems to remind him of you? He’ll get it for you.
Rayne Ames who’s slowly but surely falling for you.
Rayne Ames upon realizing his feelings can't help but be disgusted. Disgusted at himself for allowing someone like him to fall for you.
Rayne Ames who slowly starts to distance himself from you. You want to eat lunch together? He’s got an important task to attend to. There’s a festival near town? Again, he's got an important task to attend to. You need his help regarding this certain subject you're having a hard time with? You can ask someone else to help you. He’s a busy man, he has no time for such frivolities.
Rayne Ames who despite his best efforts in avoiding you, can't help but feel like there’s something, someone lacking in his life. It feels so bleak, so empty,
Rayne Ames who always finds you seeking him, always asking about his whereabouts, despite it being months of avoiding you. He knows that you know he’s purposely avoiding you, any normal person would’ve given up by now, and yet, you still insist
Rayne Ames who found himself cornered by you. Apologizing to him if you did something wrong or told something offensive to him
Rayne Ames who denied any of the above. Telling you that you did nothing wrong and that you should go back to your room now, it's beyond hours.
“Then, is it because you don’t want to be seen with someone like me? Is that it Rayne? Is that it?”
Rayne Ames who’s chest ached.
Rayne Ames whose eyes are as cold as the northern winds told you: “that’s right, i'm ashamed to be seen with someone like you”
Rayne Ames who can't seem to read you, you've always worn your heart around your sleeves, but this time it's like you've totally enclosed your heart. But this should be fine right? This should be enough to deter you. So give up, stop looking for him and go on with your life.
“You’re not being truthful, at all, Rayne. At Least tell me the truth so I can..”
Rayne Ames who clenched his teeth and told you the truth; how during those times you've been together, he found himself falling for you, and he can’t have that.
And Rayne Ames who told you that you deserve someone better; someone normal unlike him. Someone who can give you a normal life, grow old and have a normal happy family. Without him, without someone like him
Rayne Ames who heard the sharp, piercing noise, before the stinging sensation in his cheek. It took a moment for Rayne to process what happened, out of all the possible reactions for you to have, being slapped did not cross his mind.
Rayne Ames who sees your face contort with anger and sadness; telling him that he has no right to dictate what you should do with your life.
Rayne Ames who feels guilty, he knows what he’s done is wrong, but it's the only thing he knows that's right- keeping people he cherishes away from him. You shouldn’t get entangled with him any further. It's for your own good.
Rayne Ames who pulls you close to him, hiding behind the shadows of a pillar, so as to not get discovered by a patrolling staff. Your argument with him might’ve alerted them.
Rayne Ames who became too aware of how close you are. Too close. Too close.
Rayne Ames who was ready to pull himself away from you. But before he could make a move, he felt your arms wrap around him, pulling him closer to you. Despite his inclination to pull away, he found himself melting into your embrace.
Just once, he’ll allow this luxury just once more.
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huge fan of the idea that flint cant handle what he dishes out.
they are too shy to be confrontational so as a result they let ppl walk all over them which i imagine results in pent up anger that they release thru talking shit behind ppls back .
and i get this impression from this exchange right here:
flint talking poorly of the satellites, followed by "oh no i shouldnt have said that" implies he KNOWS he shouldnt be saying it and will get confronted for it, further implying hes done it before. cosmo's rant also implies this is a common occurrence that, tbh, he is rightfully angry for. and most of the things he points out abt flint in said rant arent wrong at all.
flint can talk big all they want, but never to someone's face bc they cant handle the confrontation that comes with it. it's cowardly, there's no self-respect to be had there. its just flints attempt to feel confident/better abt themselves. and i really hope to see more of this aspect of his character, ESPECIALLY in canon since, apparently, this 1.3 blogpost isnt explicitly canon (which saddens me every time i think about it.)
btw i feel the need to add on that i dont think flint's wrong or lying abt the satellites. What I'm condemning them for is the fact they're talking shit but then cant handle the consequences. If ur gonna talk behind peoples backs and stir the pot, you should be able to say the same shit to their face as well. Cosmo certainly doesnt appreciate how flint views his boys, but i feel like even HE would have a little more respect if flint just had enough courage to say it to his face.
But they dont, because they look up to Cosmo and dont want to be on his bad side, making it even more difficult for Flint to be confrontational . he has no desire to start problems with cosmo HIMSELF, just the satellites. (ppl forget this and treat it like flint has issues with cosmo, but thats not true . flint admires cosmo, likely due to his confidence and leadership skills since its smth flint craves having for himself, and erasing that aspect is a HUGE injustice to a really fun and interesting dynamic !)
i feel like the detail that flint likes drama ALSO plays a part in all this. enjoys drama, probably watches it from afar, but the moment it involves him, hes a total coward lmao
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you have me back in a yan headspace, so i give you brainrot of dad!bf izu and uncle! katsu
good grief starr. i can't decide which one is softer (even tho we both know kats is the grumpy one) and it's making my head fuzzy.
but gosh dad bf izu?? are u kidding??
like either he's just your average dad bf that may or may not know he's a dad bf (mirio vibes iykwim) and leans into it, or it's full scale, all out controlling dad bf that sweetly convinces you you're too small and silly to do anything without his help. and don't get me started on that freckled grin that looks like he's oh so kind ffs.
and uncle kats who's legit a grumpy old man at every age of his life but he's so much softer than izu when he wants to be. he'd let you get away with just about anything if it meant turning your affection from izu for a little while, especially if there's a good chance he won't find out... unless kats tells izu what you did. (but its not like he can't check the cameras anyways.) there's no way they're not still competitive af about who gets to fuck kiss you first.
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it's so significant to me that do you believe in miracles paralleled all hell breaks loose specifically. because ahbl is the first time dean violates sam's autonomy to bring him back to life. it shows the extreme lengths that dean will go to protect sam, and despite all the other times dean has ignored sam's personhood in his pursuit to keep him alive, this is the moment in the show that fully exemplifies just how codependent these two really are, because there's an entire season dedicated to the consequences of that codependency.
so for dybim to take that imagery and scenario and reverse the roles means that this is supposed to be just as indicative of their codependence. it's a threshold that will have major consequences because sam crossed over the point of no return. there's no going back from choosing unhealthy codependency with your brother, the show is signaling. dean is sam's ultimate decision—he doesn't choose himself, he doesn't choose independence, he chooses dean, and all that that entails. he probably only realizes that all of his posturing about autonomy was a lie at the very moment he says it out loud, but once he's finally honest with himself it's a done deal. just like dean can never go back from his deal for sam's life, sam can never return to any point before this moment. he's in this relationship for good, and he wants to be codependent with dean; that's his decision.
and this is why soul survivor hurts so bad. because dean, like sam in season 9, declares that they're not family, not brothers. the role reversal continues, and sam is now suffering all of the pains he unwittingly put dean through by trying to maintain boundaries between them. now that he's realized he can't handle having those boundaries, any distance between him and dean is too much. here sam is, violating dean's autonomy and saving him against his will, just like dean has done to him so many times before. here he is, listening to dean reject him over and over again, like a parody of all sam's attempts to extricate himself from dean. he's on the other side now, staring down his brother and seeing his past self within him.
9.23 to 10.03 is just a speedrun of the previous 8 seasons but in reverse, with sam enduring the suffering of being in dean's position. and how tragic is it for sam to finally commit to his codependent relationship with dean, only for dean to leave him the moment it happens? how must that feel, for him to finally return his brother's feelings in all their toxic and fucked up glory, only to lose him in the worst way? to have all of his own words shouted back at him with the cruel intent to hurt—jesus christ. how am i supposed to cope with this in any normal way?
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