A Brother's Grief
"Aang, we need to talk." a shadow moved across the tent floor blocking the flood of warm afternoon sunlight.
"What's up Sokka? Borrowing Momo for a week not going as planned?"
Sokka glanced over his shoulder where the small lemur rifled through his things and procured one of his socks as a hat.
He turned back to his friend and took a seat on a small stump, "No that's fine, it's about Katara."
A sudden nervousness twisted Aang's stomach.
Had Sokka found out about his crush on his sister?
Would he be mad?
"Uh, sure. You know I like Katara." Aang's hands shot up, "I-I- mean care about her! Like you do! like a brother!" the boy's cheeks warmed at the fumble.
Sokka stared at him oddly, "Uh, sure."
"So what about Katara?" Aang's voice softened, "Is it what she said about your Mom before she left? It sounded like it hurt."
Sokka could only blink in response, he expected that kind of bluntness from Toph, but coming from Aang, it blindsided him. Suddenly the weight of his emotions were too much, his shoulders collapsed and his chin dropped to his chest.
"It did," he admitted.
"I'm sorry Sokka, maybe you two should talk about it when she gets back." Aang paused his face souring, "That is if you don't have other things to talk about.
The watertribesman stared at his hands, "There's nothing to talk about."
"You have to." Aang pushed, "If that's how you feel then leaving it will just make things worse!"
"There's nothing to talk about because she's right." Sokka blurted.
"What?"
"She's right." Sokka's shoulders slumped even further, like wax melting to the floor, "I always wanted to be a great leader and warrior, just like my dad."
"But you're already a great warrior and a really good leader."
Sokka put up a hand halting Aang, hearing anything resembling praise right then would have made his stomach sick.
"You don't understand. I idolized our Dad, but Katara? She wanted to be like our mom, kind and caring and able to do almost anything - she definitely got some of dad's warrior side though." Sokka's half smile disappeared as quickly as it came, giving way to something grimmer, "But after what happened, Katara had to become what our mom was. She filled that role and in a way, I think that made her closer to Mom even though she was gone."
"It sounds like you loved your mom a lot."
"I did, but Katara's right, not in the way she does." Sokka looked up, anguish breaking across his features, "If I did, I'd be right there with her, looking for the man that took our mother from us."
"Sokka no!" A gust of air ruffled the sides of the tent, Aang propelled himself up from his seat on the floor, "Revenge isn't the way! You forgave him and Katara hasn't."
"No, I didn't," Sokka ground out, standing to meet the younger boy, "I grieved our mother and I might have accepted that she's gone but I never, ever forgave them for what they did our family. I never will." Sokka forced himself to unwind his clenched fists, he took in a breath of calm and let it out in a deflated stream that dropped him back on his seat on the stump, "If I'm being honest I don't think I would have ever moved on if Katara hadn't been there to fill the hole Mom left."
"But-"
"No buts," Sokka's eyes shone as that old pain lodged in his chest, "you had no right to tell Katara to forgive. You have no idea what we went through, what she went through."
"I lost my entire people!"
"And?" a hardness crept into Sokka's voice "This isn't some kind of competition Aang. If you can forgive the Fire Nation for wiping out your entire people, great. Katara and I don't have to do the same."
"But forgiveness is the only way to let go!"
"You had no right to ask that of her! You can't force people to forgive because you think it's the only way to let go. Newsflash kid, it's not." he had, had enough, this was a mistake.
Sokka got up to leave pausing at the open tent flap, "I never forgave the man who killed my mother and I never will. I learned to let go in my own way, now Katara has to find hers."
"By running around the Fire Nation with Zuko?"
"If that's what she needs."
"It's not safe." Aang refuted.
"And you flying out in the middle of a storm and almost blowing our cover was?" Sokka shot back.
Aang froze guilt weighing on his brow.
Sokka reigned himself in with a sigh, "Katara is safe with Zuko, I wouldn't have let them go if I didn't think he could take care of her."
"Do you trust me to take care of Katara?"
"You're just a little kid."
"You trust Zuko but not me?" Aang asked incredulously, "I'm the Avatar!"
"I trust Zuko to look after Katara because he's been the only one of us to put her first," Sokka admitted, guilt hanging from his words, he left not waiting for an answer.
The flap fell behind him with a soft rustle and Aang found himself alone in the dim tent.
…
"How did it go?" Suki's appriaching footsteps were muted by the wet sand.
"Not great." Sokka replied staring out at the crashing waves, "I'm a terrible big brother."
"No you're not, you're a good big brother," she brushed her knuckles gently along his cheek, "I've seen it myself."
Suki took a seat on the thin blanket next to Sokka and he turned to look at her, "I don't feel like it."
"You've taken care of her this long."
"Not as well as I should have. It should have been me with her, instead, Zuko is doing what I couldn't."
Suki shook her head, "I think Zuko is who she needs to be with right now." she took one of Sokka's tanned hands in hers, "but when she comes back? She's going to need you. She's going to need to know you still love her no matter what might have happened."
"I will."
"Good."
Suki leaned her head against Sokka's shoulder and quietly, they watched the sun descend to kiss the waves.
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Azulaang - secrecy
Zuko: “So, you and Aang seem very close. Anything fun happen I should know about?”
Azula: “Not much, I just played around with his long stiff staff last night.”
Zuko: “You. did! WHAT?!”
Azula: “At ease dear brother, he showed me his air bender glider thingy and how it works. He wanted to see if I could fly around with it, but I advised against it since it’s not fireproof. What did you think I meant when I said that?”
Zuko squinted his eyes with suspicion and backed off slowly, Azula was weirded out by this. Aang showed up behind her.
Aang: “Everything ok between you two?”
Azula: “Yeah, it’s just my brother being a clingy psychopath as usual.”
Azula then began to cuddle on Aang, placing her pointy-nailed hand at the scar on his back.
Azula: “I’m still in awe on your skills last night. I never expected a monk to be knowledgeable with such regards.”
Aang: “Well, half of my past lives are women and some other past lives of mine married and had children. So, I guess some of those experiences snuck out and helped me.”
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