The Pickpocket - Part 15
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Pairing: Heimdall x fem!Reader
Word count: 3.3k
Summary: You're acting weird, Jörgen is concerned and fruit is smashed.
A/N: aww look at reader joining heimi in the "lying to yourself bc you're a paranoid fuck" club<333 but also eyyy look who makes his return! the cooking man!!!🧑🍳 ajaksk like i said, i had a sudden bout of inspiration lately and wrote like,, 4 chaps in one sitting and hoooooo boy....you're gonna hate me for the next one, just saying HAHAHAHA. remember, things can only get better though!! after they take a turn for the absolute worst ofc
***
Part 15
For several days now it had been raining cats and dogs outside, almost as if the sky had decided to pour an entire year's worth of precipitation on the city. The gray carpet of clouds gave the interior of the Great Lodge a real cave-like feeling. Thanks to the wildly flickering candlelight – the building might have been many things, though not exactly windproof – twitching shadows danced all over the walls and gave the very nice and not at all unnerving impression that one was constantly under observation. At best by the residents, at worst by something you'd rather not think about too much, especially not in one of those aforementioned dark corridors.
And yet, that morning you practically skipped into the dining hall, grabbed an apple from the display, and then searched for familiar faces (bar one) as you took a hearty bite. Your gaze slid around the room and then up to the ceiling. The Asgardians had wisely secured it so that the hall would not be flooded. The sight made you a little discontented, but then you finally spotted the handsome face of the cook stepping out of the kitchen. Immediately your mood brightened again and you made your way across the hall.
Jörgen saw you and your uncharacteristically cheery face coming from afar and therefore had enough time to wrinkle his forehead before you came to a stop next to him.
"Good morning!", you greeted, beaming.
The wrinkles deepened and resembled a canyon now. "Morning...?", he replied a bit confused, "Uuuh, don't get me wrong, I'm glad to see you so happy, but..." He put down what he had been holding – a bowl full of porridge – and then moved his hands to his hips. "...It's weird. All things considered, I mean."
He gestured upwards, where, with excellent timing, a loud crack of thunder sounded in that very moment. You briefly wondered if Thor was in a bad mood today, before shrugging your shoulders.
"I like rain. You would too, if you had lived through Fimbulwinter for so long."
He made a face. "Well, when you put it that way..."
"It's just too bad they barricaded the ceiling. Imagine how funny it would be to have to dodge the raindrops." You laughed before taking another big bite of your fruity breakfast.
Jörgen just stared at you for a moment before promptly turning away and muttering: "Aaand the weird is back..."
"Oh, come on", you laughed as you followed him into the kitchen, "I'm just bored, so my brain is being silly."
"Bored?", he asked over his shoulder, "Well, that won't do. As a cook who's hands are practically overflowing with work-"
"Yeah, I can see that", you giggled.
"-I can't let that happen." He stopped and looked around. "What does Milady prefer, leftovers or peeling fruit?"
You acted as if you had to think very hard about your answer. "Hmm, I think the fruits have a score to settle with me." You held up the rest of your apple. "They're out for revenge."
"Sooo... leftovers?"
"What, you think I'd just give in like that? No, I'll make sure those juicy little things know who they've messed with here!"
"You know... As a pacifist, I feel it's all kinds of wrong what I'm about to say now..." He grabbed a cutting knife and offered it to you. "But I'm honestly afraid these fuckers are going to cut your throat while you're sleeping, so here. Go get them."
"They won't suffer, I promise." You grabbed the wooden handle and then nodded solemnly.
In the next moment both of you burst into a fit of giggles, before you finally devoted yourselves to your tasks.
You did justice to your words; cutting fruit was just the right thing to keep your head busy enough to prevent it from taking on a life of its own again. This practically made you into a knife-wielding whirlwind, and so it didn't take very long until you wiped the last slices of fruit into a bowl and announced your victory.
"Whoa", Jörgen then commented and nodded appreciatively, "Must be a new record."
You proudly raised your chin. "I told you. They didn't stand a chance." You stuck a piece of plum into your mouth and then asked, chewing: "So, what's next, boss?"
The cook laughed. "Well, when you've served the fruit, you're welcome to lend me a hand with the-" His eyebrows shot up at you already grabbing two of the bowls and then disappearing through the door. "...leftovers."
You did the same with the remaining bowls before wiping your hands on your apron and then picking up your new assignment. Jörgen looked at you inquiringly as you practically threw yourself into your next task without even taking a single breather.
You only paused when, even after minutes, you still felt his gaze on you. "What?", you then asked with an irritated smile, "Am I doing it wrong?"
He quickly shook his head. "No, no. All good!"
"Buuut...?" You slowly raised one of your eyebrows.
"Ah, it's nothing really." He shrugged. "I guess, I'm just... surprised? About your workaholism lately. Not that I'm complaining, of course! It's just a bit strange to witness, is all. Guess the patrols must have had a positive side effect after all, huh? Who would've thought."
He laughed, but you didn't join in. On the contrary, you actually felt your own smile slip a little at his last words, but quickly tried to cover it up. Like so many times before in the last few days. And every time it became harder and harder...
You snorted and turned back to your cutting board to try and distract yourself again. "There's nothing positive about this experience."
He stopped laughing. "Yeah, no, I know. I just meant-"
"Positive? Please. The only positive thing is that I didn't throw myself off the wall because of him."
"I mean. That sounds indeed pretty positive…? But-"
"Believe me, every day at this close proximity to him? Was agony", you babbled on, without even being aware of it really, or paying the slightest attention to the increasingly concerned looking cook, "Good thing that it seems like the rain keeps him away from here. Dude's probably too vain to let it ruin his hair or something. Ha!"
But then something occurred to you. "…No wait, it's not like he even needs to be present, right? What do they say about him…? That he can even 'hear grass grow'? So he's probably sitting at home right now, all comfortable, while spying on us like the stalker he is. But not on my watch!", you raised your voice as you continued to torment the cutting board, "You hear that, you snotty prick?? Yeah, keep listening in on us making breakfast, I'm sure there's lots of valuable intel to gather and make daddy happy with!"
You accentuated your last words with an overly enthusiastic strike, splattering half the countertop, the floor, and even your clothes in the process.
What followed was a brief silence until Jörgen finally stepped next to you and calmly raised his hands. "Okay, listen. On the Heimdall topic, I'm with you all the way, you know that. And I'm also very happy for you that the patrols are over now. What I said earlier was meant as a simple joke, so there's no reason to get mad or-"
"'Mad'?", you interrupted him once more, laughing a little too loudly, "Who's mad? Certainly not me."
"Suuure...", the cook replied, before gently taking the knife out of your hand, "Nevertheless, it would make me feel a lot better if you stopped waving your knife around like a crazy person. I don't want to be responsible for you losing an eye and the All-Father having to lend you one of his eye patches..."
You allowed him to disarm you without complaining, but then rolled your eyes and pulled the apron over your head. "Whatever. I'll just go take care of the bread baskets outside then." You raised your hand as he began to protest. "No, it's fine, really! I don't really care what I'm working on, busy is busy." After that, you threw him one last overly cheery smile and then left the room.
Jörgen closed his mouth before slowly shaking his head and mumbling: "Definitely weird..."
+++
You knew perfectly well that you had acted a little crazy this morning. Yet it wouldn't have mattered at all if you had just told Jörgen the truth, because in doing so, you would have just backed his already low opinion of the blonde god. Nevertheless, you had bitten your tongue. Nevertheless, you had once again just swallowed it down and decided to deal with it another day. But this was how things were going for several days now and, meanwhile, you had the unnerving feeling that it was only getting worse the longer you kept ignoring it. Like some kind of poison that was slowly corroding you from the inside...
As if on command, another mighty thunderclap sounded from outside. You promptly turned in your bed and stuck your tongue out at the window.
But of course it wasn't just the stupid weather that prevented you from getting the distraction you were so desperately seeking. Another reason was Atreus, who, since Odin's return, had once again only shown his face for some small talk, if at all, in the last few days. Most of the time it was like before his break and you only saw him from afar. A green shimmer when he walked around a corner. A shock of red hair that disappeared behind the door to Odin's study... It really bothered you that the old goat had taken over his whole life again, just like that. Apparently he wasn't all that serious after all, about giving Atreus a little more free time going forward.
What a surprise, you thought sarcastically, Who in all the Nine Realms could've predicted that?? It was just another lie to prop himself up as the big benefactor he wants others to see him as...
You thought about looking for Thrúd, but the two of you had been hanging out so much lately that you felt like you were starting to get on her nerves. And besides; instead of bothering teenagers, you should probably rather look for company your own age...
But the only other person you knew that fit this description you had likely scared away while making breakfast this morning. So as things stood, it seemed like you just had to make do with yourself for the time being.
It was strange how much that bothered you now. Being alone...
You buried your hands under your head and pulled up your legs while staring holes in the wooden wall opposite you.
You missed the time before all this. Your cabin in the woods, the wolves and yes, you missed the winter too, no matter what you had told Jörgen this morning about how much you enjoyed the rainy change. If you would say that out loud however, everyone would probably think you were completely off your rocker, even Kratos and Atreus, who were just as familiar with the endless ice and snow. Atreus – always in tune with nature – had once told you that he felt the cold was slowly squeezing all the life out of the forest. Back then you had been captivated by his stories about the many colors of summer, it had just sounded so imaginative, so full of wonder... But even then you had already secretly thought that you didn't really mind the endless white either. How could you? After all, it was all you had known, your whole world.
Yes, it was true. Fimbulwinter was cruel, you couldn't deny that. It had covered Midgard with sorrow and death, and pushed all the life back so far that the realm seemed nearly extinct now. Living through it was hard, especially as a mortal.
But despite all that, you had also made many beautiful memories.
Sure, the first years of your "remembered" life had been difficult. Especially coming to terms with the fact that you had lost your prior memories. You had felt like a newborn. Everything had been unknown, confusing and unsettling. Maybe that was why Kratos had accepted you so quickly – by his standards, at least. After all, there was no other place you could have returned to, and being on your own would have meant certain death.
Atreus on the other hand, had been the complete opposite, naturally. He had actually told you so himself once, how absolutely excited he had been about you from day 1. Of course, the young god had had plenty of other company already; his father, Mimir, the wolves, the dwarf brothers... The occasional murderous Freya and the odd Draugr or Raider… No, he had not lacked company per se, but definitely younger one. And so he had accepted you right from the start, there had been no awkwardness, no shyness. No, you had practically become siblings the day you had woken up in their hut.
Thus, it was also him who was responsible for the majority of your fondest memories. Kratos had also been involved in your "education" of course, but his contribution had been of a more... practical nature (at least after he had realized that he didn't need to handle you with kid gloves). From him you had learned such things as housework, chopping wood, cooking or repairing things. Atreus had also been involved in that, but his personal lessons had rather focused on your mind. He had (re)taught you to read and write, even in different languages. He had explained the plant and animal lore of the Nine Realms to you, as well as tracking and orientation. He had even taught you one or two spells – but you seemed to be quite magic-resistant and not even the simplest ones had worked out as intended so far.
And he had taught you to dream, though Kratos and Mimir, as well as the dwarf brothers every now and then, had also been considerably involved in that. When you had been sitting at the fireplace in the evening, already half asleep from the day's work, and had listened to their stories and tales of their many adventures... You could hardly imagine that there should've been moments in your forgotten life when you had felt happier.
But as much as you missed those communal moments, your heart was also heavy now when you thought back to the moments you had marched through the forest by yourself, all alone yet still absolutely happy. The protection stave had kept any dangers away from you, so you had been able to move freely – in the immediate vicinity of the cabin, at least. And oh, had you enjoyed those walks. How often you had wandered through the woods, indulging your thoughts... Reacquainting yourself with your own person and coming to terms with your lost past. And simply learning what it meant to be you again. The crunching of the snow under the soles of your shoes, your icy breath in the air... Maybe you had been alone back then, but never had you felt truly lonely.
So why did this feel so different, so suffocating now? What had changed that you suddenly couldn't stand being by yourself anymore and were now yearning for company in such a way? It troubled you immensely, because it almost felt like you were losing yourself all over again.
There are these different versions of me all over space and time, you thought. In your faceless past, in a snow-covered forest, in a wooden hut illuminated by firelight, in a dwarven home in the world between worlds, high up on a wall built by giant hand, where you could see the beauty of a whole realm down below-
And there it was again.
Your poison.
Without further ado, you pressed your face into the pillow beside you and groaned loudly. Somehow, every thought process, no matter how far-reaching, always seemed to return here. As if Odin had tied you up too, just like Freya.
...But maybe that was exactly the point.
As soon as this thought crossed your mind, you sat up and felt your heart beat a little faster. Maybe this was Odin's task for his son. To confuse and unsettle you. To force himself into your life and manipulate you just like Jörgen's sister. What this should have to do with your missing past was still a mystery, but it was a possible explanation for, well… pretty much everything else.
Of course the possibility of a simple magic spell remained too, but by now, you strongly doubted that; you didn't feel bewitched in the slightest. No, this smelled like good old Odin-manipulation to you. After all, on its own, this had already worked quite well so far, so why use magic? He had kept you and Atreus apart most of the time, presented Asgard to you in a new, more benevolent light... Had forced his damned purple eyed son on you, who was now successfully haunting your mind like one of those ghosts from Atreus' stories about his many adventures with Kratos.
Oh yes, you had spent waaay too much time with that blonde asshole lately. That was all this was, the explanation for your current misery. You had gotten used to him way too much and had thought about him way too often. Now he had nestled into your head like one of those little bark beetles and just wouldn't leave you alone, even though the last time you had seen him was actually days ago.
Why else would you think about him still, despite him making it unmistakably clear to you at your last encounter what his true intentions were? That he only meant to manipulate you? Why else would your last interactions haunt your mind at night even and bathe your dreams in purple? And, most troubling, why else would you have a feeling akin to missing every morning lately, when you didn't see Heimdall waiting for you in the dining hall??
That thought bothered you the most by far. It should be unimaginable. Missing. Whom, that incorrigible prick?! Ha, as if!
Maybe you made it a bit too easy for yourself by simply shifting the blame for your inner chaos back to Odin again... On the other hand, why shouldn't you? After all, the old vulture was to blame for so many tragedies, wouldn't that make it absolutely ridiculous to not assume that he was also involved in your current mess? Besides, you felt like the evidence was overwhelming. It was him who had ordered Heimdall to take you on patrol, the thing that had jumpstarted all of this. Even Jörgen thought that there had to be more to Heimdall's interest in you and then there was also his strange behavior every time he had read your mind. Coupled with the fact that Odin was the root of all evil in your humble opinion, all of this made you pretty confident in your prior conclusion.
Yes, that was the answer. Having his son mess with your thoughts and emotions was just another one of that one-eyed bastard's ploys to get you out of the way and have better access to Atreus.
"Too bad that I won't let that happen though, old man", you said to yourself and smiled grimly.
***
...famous last words🙃
hope you enjoyed thiss<3 as always, feedback is welcome and very much appreciated!!
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