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#big mash gender moments
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hawkeye gender moments that make me insane
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ariachaos · 1 month
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​🇦​​🇸​​🇸​, ​🇹​​🇮​​🇹​​🇸​, ​🇴​​🇷​ ​🇹​​🇭​​🇮​​🇬​​🇭​​🇸​ ?!
lmao first time writing smut bc this fandom lacks it ;v; use of feminine terms, so not gender neutral!
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mash didn't think much of it, but the way your tits are shaped, how they feel, how they bounce when he fucks you hard enough is just perfect. didn't think he'd go that hard on you over it until the next morning, when you complain about the hand-shaped bruises on your hips and the hickeys and bite marks on your tits. strangely felt a sense of pride in his chest when he saw his marks on you, but also wanted to leave more?!
will happily suck on them, massage them, use them as his stress balls if you let him! doesn't really care if they're small or big, just likes the fact that they exist for his and your pleasure... oh... they're used to feed your future kids? even better! he'll fuck you until you have no choice but to get pregnant.
somehow developed a breeding kink because of your tits. cannot get the thought of you being heavily pregnant and glowing out of his mind.
finn can't help but blush when your skirt rises up even an inch. can't stop the tightness in his chest from growing and his face turning red when he sees you in shorts in the summer. he loves and hates how you're too kind to let him use your thighs as his pillow for a nap, but now all the blood rushed to his dick he forgot to sleep! has to ask to get some help from you because at some point, his hand isn't enough for him anymore!
loves running his hand over your thighs, doesn't even have to be sexual, but with all the tension in him, it's bound to happen. loves throwing your legs over his shoulders when the two of you go at it, just so he can grab a handful of your thighs when he wants! also has a passion for eating you out because your thighs will envelop his entire head.
please suffocate him, he'll beg on his knees for it. it's so funny to think he was a timid, young boy, but looking at him now, he's so feral over your thighs!
lance looks like a gentleman in the streets, but he's so helplessly feral in the sheets with the way your ass looks so hot in anything you wear. you could be wearing your school uniform with the robe, but lance will have memorized the location of your ass just to give a firm squeeze! if the two of you are alone, don't think he'll hesitate to give it a good smack because he will, and it WILL STING! loves spanking you to ride him after at night, or praising you left and right thrusting up to you, holding your ass to keep you grinding him <3
thinks your ass is a blessing because lance isn't sure if he can live without them anymore... loves having you sit on him just to feel the curve of your ass press against his cock and tease you when he gets horny over it <3
please don't wear short skirts or shorts if you want to walk for the next week, because he WILL make sure you can't.
dot can't fool anyone when he says he prefers personality over everything else. he can't hide the way he's been staring at you all day every day, taking in every inch and curve of your tits, how bouncy they are to the way your thighs are imprinted on your skirt, and let's not forget to mention how he always takes a peek at your ass cheeks when you bend over to pick up something! dot is a man of culture, yes, but surely no one can expect him to choose what part of you he likes the most? you're too good for him, picking just one is simply torture!
he can't choose what to like more, and it makes him such a busybody in bed because his hands are all over you, rubbing your titties in one moment, squeezing your thighs around his head the next, and finally holding onto your ass and hips for dear life when he finally fucks you! anything that gets you off and gives you pleasure, he'll do it, but please don't make him hurt you! you're too precious for him to hurt on purpose :(
rayne, just like his brother, has been in love with your thighs since day one! he saw them outside of the long skirt you wear for your school uniform on your first date, when you wore a cute little sundress! he couldn't take his eyes off your thighs whenever you walked ahead of him, but will never let you catch on. in fact, he's so sly and sneaky that you don't realize he has a thing for your thighs until much later, when he has you in his bed, stripped of your dress and underwear.
you can't be imagining the way his hands run up and down your thighs so gently before splitting them open and hooking them over his shoulders. you may not have gotten fucked, but you sure as hell as overstimmed to the point of passing out because rayne doesn't eat you out for your pleasure. he does it for HIS. and guess what? he's probably still lapping at your juices, using your thighs like they're his earmuffs in winter!
loves leaving marks and hickeys on them, and feels the small itch of possessiveness in his brain go away even though no one can see them or even know you have them.
orter will deny and deny over and over again even after he's in his grave that your ass does something to him. you can't blame him for looking at them so intently when they're the perfect size for his hands! will pick you up by the ass, even when you complain that it's uncomfortable. he doesn't care! what's yours is his since the two of you are married.
will put you through hell and back riding him, smacking your cheeks whenever he wants to fuck him faster, harder, or loosen up because he doesn't want to cum too early! if you want his cum to fill you up so badly, you're obviously going to work for it! milk his cock for all its worth, he dares you. surely you can't disappoint your husband now, can you?
however, he will show some mercy and reward you with healing cream and gently massages your ass and thighs after you worked so hard to please him <3 good girls deserve good things, and you're certainly his good girl
kaldo is an open book. doesn't care to hide the fact your tits drive him mad. after the first time you got pregnant and started lactating, kaldo didn't think he was that focused on your tits before. but when you're complaining about how full and heavy and painful they are, he can't help but want (a taste) to help you! didn't think they'd be so sweet, but it's a welcome surprise! will probably suck you dry if he wanted to, it's a shame you had to save a lot of it for your baby... perhaps this was the gods' sign to give you more babies!
has. can, and will fondle your tits in his office. will kiss you dizzy, massaging your breasts because he knows they're so sensitive from all that breastfeeding! but you looked so hot and dreamy doing it, you can't possibly expect your own husband keep his hands off of you! but whatever you do and no matter how much you get mad at him, please don't take away his titty privileges! how could he live off of honey-covered sashimi for a week without your tits as desert? how will he ever get a good night's rest without using your tits as his pillow?
will literally beg on his knees to get his privileges back. will eat you out until you pass out, fuck you and fill you up until he doesn't have any more cum to give, but still be ready to give you more than enough of what you want in the morning <3
abyss hates the effect your tits leave him in. he loves your girls, he really does, but does he really need to get a boner from how plush and perky they were right before a meeting? abel's going to be there, you know, and he can't embarrass himself in front of abel of all people! despises the fact he's so weak for you, but also loves it because it means you spoil him as a reward for doing a good job for you. he doesn't think he can go back to fucking you normally without fucking your tits at least once every time.
and after every. single. session, he's going to fall asleep face first into your titties. they're so soft and squishy! you can't expect him to use that cold, stiff thing people call a pillow when his pillow is your titties! he's going to be so sad and scared if you push him off at anytime in the night and will start overthinking to the point he's too scared and eventually wakes you up.
is somehow perfectly fine after a nice makeout session and he gets to pass out over your titties again?
abel tries a little too hard at being a gentleman that he gets harder at the mere thought of your thighs. he can't help it! your thighs are just perfect size for him to sleep on, cuddle, hold when he's driving, and weight to throw over his shoulder and fuck you until you feel him in your throat! even better if you're suffocating him with it when he's eating you out because while he's not that much of a service dom, he'll happily become one if it means he gets to be squished by your thighs each time. it bugs him a little that he can't hear your sounds when he does, but you can always sing a little louder for him, no?
loves to pull your thighs closer to him when he's driving so he gets to squeeze them anytime he wants! will happily give you all the princess treatment if it means he'll get to hold and ravish your thighs to his heart's content.
however, he can't guarantee that you'll be walking for the next week or so if he sees you with thigh highs, stockings, or thigh garters. trust me, you couldn't walk straight for a week and a half after you wore a thigh garter on your wedding night.
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arc-misadventures · 10 months
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An Answer That Leads to More Questions
Jeanne: Uhh… Wasn’t it just going to be the four of us?
Juniper: Yes, but your sisters caught wind of our conversation so they demanded they be involved, and considering your secrets have included them to some capacity, I have elected that they can, and should join us for this conversation. Is that okay.
JJ: Perfectly.
Juniper: Okay, you may now begin.
Jaune: Okay, but first: What we’re about to say doesn’t leave this family. Second, suspend your feelings of disbelief. And, thirdly, save all your questions for the end.
Angela: Why should we suspend our…?!
Jaune: Save your question for the end!
Angela: Sorry.
Jaune: Haa… Okay, I’ll go first, unless?
Jeanne: I’ll interject when it seems appropriate.
Jaune: That works. Alright… This is the second life I have lived. In my first life I had seven sisters, and two parents. The same nine individuals you see before you, bar, Jeanne. Jeanne was not one of my sisters in my past life.
Jeanne: This my second life; In my first life I had the same parents we all have, Juniper, and Archeius Arc, but I had seven brothers, instead of seven sisters. And, Jaune was not one of my brothers in my past life.
Jaune: We lived two separate lives in two separate worlds of, Remnant. The worlds were mostly the same, but there were differences that allowed us to tell the difference between the two. The main factor was that most people in my world were of the opposite gender compared to, Jeanne’s. And, more importantly everything didn’t go to hell in her world as my did in mine.
Jeanne: We only knew about the existence of these parallel worlds because the two of us would randomly swap places with each other with no warning.
Jaune: We simply called the times when we switched places, A Swap. We would spend an indeterminate of time there, then randomly we would appear in a room we called, The White Room. Because everything was white. There we would meet up, chat, and randomly swap back. The randomness of the swaps caused us most of the problems we had with the swaps…
Jeanne: Yeah, I could be laying in my bed one moment, then I’m sitting at a desk in the cafeteria the next.
Jaune: Or, being grabbed by a, Beringel one moment where you’re about to slam your sword through the damn thing’s skull, only to slash through a plate of mashed potatoes in the cafeteria, covering everyone in said mash potatoes.
Jeanne: Confessing how much you’re in love to girl of your dreams, only to say it to a completely different person. And, told that your confession was pathetic so you spend the rest of your time trying to come up with something better instead.
Jeanne: Coming out of the, White Room to suddenly seen your teammates head has been shoved through a wall… again.
Jaune: Getting pelted in the face with a cream pie nanoseconds as you come back from the, White Room.
Jeanne: I got decked in the face one time because of that.
Jaune: My personal favourite was when I was having a conversation with someone outside, only to scream at her that no I did not ask her alternative universes male counterpart how big his dick was. Only to realize I said that in the middle of a classroom full of people.
Jeanne: These were just some of the more… pleasant times we experienced during our, Swaps.
Jaune: Pleasant for you! During our first swap, I was attacked; I was punched in the chest, tied up, was thrown about with a semblance, had a 50. cal pointed at my head, punched in the gut again, and then I was thrown into a cell in the depths of, Beacon Academy! All because I had somehow kidnapped their precious, Angel…
Saphron: Angel?
Jeanne: That was just a nickname I got because of my semblance’s abilities.
Jaune: You know damn well it was because of that smile you use on people!
Jeanne: Shut up.
Jaune: Don’t you try, and deny it, you flashed them that angelic smile once, they gave you tea, and cookies while I got a black eye!
Jeanne: Hehe… Because of me, and my influence most people didn’t like, Jaune in my world.
Jaune: Or, in mine either. Well, I think most people tolerated me in my world. After meeting, Jeanne they gave up hiding it, and outright showed their hostility, and indifference towards me.
Jeanne: Even our… well, my parents didn’t like you…
Jaune: Not even my parents liked me! Well, they didn’t have faith in me, which is debatably the same thing if you ask me. They offered you all the proper training, and equipment to become a, Huntress. Mine gave me encouraging words that it will be okay when I come home when I fail. Notice how I said, when, not if.
Jeanne: Well at least your team at, Beacon believed in you.
Jaune: Aye, but your presence made everyone else who believed in me cast me to the side. Hell, those bitches outright said it to my face, and acted like I wasn’t even there!
Jeanne: Well you ruined my relationship with people too just by showing up too!
Jaune: And, was that a bad thing?!
Jaune: …
Jaune: No seriously; Was that a bad thing? You broke off all contact with them yourself. Hell, you even got your partner kicked off your team because of me.
Jeanne: …
Jeanne: Well… After you showed up, they did show their true colours, and show me that they were after me because they were in love with the image of, Jeanne Arc, and not the person who was, Jeanne Arc.
Jeanne: You don’t suppose their actions made me gay do you?
Jaune: No, you’re bisexual. Seeing, and dealing with their antics just tainted the possibility of you developing any kind of relationship with them; Platonic, or sexual.
Jeanne: I developed standards?
Jaune: Pretty much.
Jeanne: So my standards are you then~?
Jaune: …
Jaune: So, anyway the, Vytal Festival happened…
Jeanne: Coward.
Jaune: And, while the festival was ending, we were… I… I don’t think I should tell you what happened.
Juniper: Why not?
Jaune: Well… If I tell you something happened… Will it then happen?
Thiriana: Like in those stories where someone is told their fate, and they do everything they can to change their fate, but their attempt to change their fate they’ve sealed themselves to their fate?
Jaune: Precisely. I’m worried if I let something slip it could happen, and my life in my world was hell…
Jeanne: But, this isn’t my world, or your world at that, Jaune. There are already many differences in it, sure there are similarities, but they are not all the same. We can tell them, just not everything in extreme detail, okay?
Jaune: …
Jaune: We won’t tell them the names of people then. Otherwise things could get… difficult.
Jeanne: Good plan.
Angela: Soooo… What happened at the, Vytal Festival?
Jeanne: Well in my world my team competed in the Vytal Festival, and I managed to lead my team to victory! Even after we reformed our team a few weeks before!
Acheius: Impressive. You two will be in school when the next festival takes place; you two planning on entering?
Jeanne: We will destroy all those who stand before us!
Acheius: …
Acheius: Sweet.
Thiriana: I take it things weren’t as nice as that in your world, Jaune?
Jaune: We… We were attacked…
Angela: I don’t take it you’re talking about during a match?
Jaune: No… Vale was attacked… This shadow organization caused an attack that lead to the destruction of, Beacon Academy, and the deaths of hundreds.
Juniper: Oh gods…
Luna: Y-You were there when it happened…?!
Jaune: I was there… I fought during the, Fall. That’s… that’s what we called that day, The Fall. It was hell, Grimm roming the streets of, Vale, hordes of them pouring through, Beacon… So much, death, and destruction. I lost people there too, people I loved… People I was going to ask out on dates… But… They died that day too…
Angela: It was, Pyrrha… Pyrrha Nikos…
Jaune: What?
Angela: You said, “I don’t want to lose her again.” You said that when we talked about, Pyrrha Nikos.
Jaune: …
Jaune: It was, Pyrrha Nikos… She was my partner at, Beacon. We could have been more than that as well… but…
Luna: Oh, my god…
Janette: H-How did she die…? To the, Grimm?
Jaune: She was murdered… she sacrificed herself to defeat the villain who orchestrated the fall of, Beacon Academy. She failed though…
Juniper: Is this why you’re always training so harshly, and pushing, Jeanne to fight more smart, and honing her skills?
Jaune: Ehhh…?
Jeanne: That’s just playing smart. I wasn’t that good when I entered, Beacon. I was good enough to enter, but I was never that good. Besides, most of our training is us trying to get back into the same fighting shape we had in our primes.
Juniper: Then all the times you kissed the dirt… You were used to fighting as an adult, not a teenager. That’s why you kept falling!
Jeanne: Yep! That’s it! I’m no where near as tall, or as big as I was back then.
Saphron: How tall were you?
Jeanne: I’m about, 5’7” right now. I peaked at, 6’2”.
Thiriana: And, what do you mean by, big?
Jeanne: Double G Cup~!
Janette: What?! Bullshit!
Thiriana: Nice~!
Angela: Did you seriously become that big?
Jeanne: Don’t worry, I won’t be the biggest among us.
Luna: Who will be?
Jeanne: Thiri, Double H Cup.
Thiriana: FUCK YEAH!
Juniper: Oh my… She’ll be as big as me.
Jaune: Yeah, you lot can go to that store, and get those heavy duty support bra’s then.
Arc Sister’s: What bra store?
Jeanne: I’ll tell you later.
Juniper: What did you do after that, Jaune?
Jaune: Went to, Mistral, fought some guys, saved, Minstral. Then I went to, Atlas, became a licensed Huntsman, tried to save it, but then Atlas, and Mantle were destroyed. As I was trying to get everyone out of there, and get them to, Vaccuo, I fell off of this magical walk way, and fell into the, Ever After. Got stuck there for like… twenty years before I was reunited with my friends. Deaged back into my teenage self, and then I finally got out of there, and… And… I should stop… talking…
Arc Family: …
Jaune: …
Jeanne: …
Jeanne: They’re taking this better than I thought.
Acheius: Okay… Uhhh… W-What about you; What did you do, Jeanne?
Jeanne: Evading eh? Okay then. Well, I was still at, Beacon. But, my team was going through a major shift. You see one of my teammates his name was, Pyrros Nikos.
Angela: Pyrros? Was this your version of, Pyrrha Nikos?
Jeanne: Yep. He wasn’t as nice of a person as, Pyrrha is…
Juniper: What did he do…
Jeanne: Nothing to me! Though I wish he would have tried…
Juniper: What?!
Jeanne: H-H-He tried to force my friend/teammate to give him a kiss because he was, Pyrros Nikos! If he did it to me I would have decked him! That’s it! I swear!
Juniper: I see…
Jeanne: I would have broken his aura, and his face for doing that to my sister! But, Jaune beat me to it…
Acheius: Defending your sister’s honour? Good on you son!
Jaune: Ah-hahaaa… No… That’s not why I did that…
Acheius: Then why did you?
Jaune: Ohh… My, Beacon was a, Grimm infested hellhole, while hers was perfectly fine. Dealing with all the trauma I got from, The Fall. Pyrros, and a few other people who tormented me in, Jeanne’s world. Well… I just sorta snapped.
Jeanne: I’ll say; you broke their auras, broke their bones, shattered their egos, and were a huge turned on for, Rin!
Jaune: Jeanne?! No names!
Jeanne: Oh… Sorry…
Saphire: Rin; Who’s, Rin?
Jeanne: She’s is…! Was… my teammate in my previous life.
Juniper: What was she like?
Jeanne: I can’t talk about her… Whole alternative universe possibilities thingy.
Juniper: I understand. But, was she special?
Jeanne: Not in the way you think. But, yeah… she was…
Jaune: Don’t worry, Jeanne, we’ll see her again.
Jeanne: Hopefully… So, after that, I got a new partner, who I eventually married, hopefully you’ll get to meet her soon. I graduated, Beacon at the top of my class. And, I lived out a nice full life before I died at the age of one hundred, and three.
Jaune: Wait? You lived till you were a hundred, and three?! Wow… I didn’t know that.
Jeanne: I don’t like talking about my death. I have to bring up your death if I did, which I am still uncomfortable talking about.
Luna: Uhh… H-How did you die, Jaune?
Jaune: Murder suicide. I sacrificed myself to kill the bitch who murdered, Pyrrha.
Arc Family: YOU WHAT?!!
Jaune: So, that’s about it. The floors open for questions! Bar those about my death, there’s too much I would have to explain to explain that.
Juniper: You’re not getting out of it that easily young man.
Jaune: Watch me. Yes, Angela?
Angela: Okay, why should we believe you? I mean… This… thing, as ludicrous as it sounds. It explains… a lot about the oddities you two have done. But, why should we believe you? Everything you’ve said is about things that could happen, and that only happened to you two. Why should we believe you?
Jaune: Fair. I wouldn’t believe you either if I said that to you. So how about this… Saphron?
Saphron: Oh no…
Jaune: You have a secret girlfriend. Her name is, Terra Cotta, she has brown skin, brown eyes, and brown hair. She wears red glasses, and is as tall as you are. She lives in, Argus, and works as an, Atlassian Telecommunications Specialist. She was living in an apartment until recently because bought herself a nice little house at, 118th Street West, house number 3. As soon as she did this she sent you a message asking if you wanted to move in with her. You said yes almost immediately, but you scared to tell the rest of us that you are planning on moving out to be with your girlfriend.
Saphron: How the… How the fuck do you know all of that?! I haven’t told anyone that!
Jaune: You told me, but just not yet.
Juniper: Wait… Saphron… I-Is this true?
Saphron: I would have preferred to say this on my own terms, but yes… Yes this is all true… I was planning on moving out next month to be with her.
Juniper: Oh my… This is… Oh gods…
Acheius: Looks like they’re telling the truth, Juniper.
Juniper: Huw?! Oh yeah, they’re telling the truth… But, my baby wants to move out?! Oh gods…?!
Luna: She’s more concerned with the fact, Saphron wants to move out, then the fact the twins are reincarnaters…
Angela: This… This isn’t all that surprising honestly.
Saphron: Was she like this when I told her?
Jaune: More, or less.
Saphron: Ahh… Peachy… So, if you know about my girlfriend, what else do you know about her; any little hints you could give me?
Jeanne: Bar the fact I was super jealous of you for things I cannot explain. No.
Saphron: Why not?
Jeanne: Because if I did, it may not happen.
Saphron: Eh?
Saphire: Are you talking about how in stories people are given a prophecy of their future fate, and said fate is something they wish to prevent so they do everything in their power to ensure it, but that only makes it enviable?
Jeanne: Yeah, pretty much that.
Acheius: So that’s why you’ve been keeping secrets; you scared of what might happen.
Jaune: That, and we may be taken to a psych-ward, and locked up.
Acheius: Fair.
Juniper: What are the differences between this… universe, and yours.
Jeanne: Mostly small stuff. The Headmistress of Beacon is Selma, it was a guy in, Jaune’s world. In my world the, White Fang was a peaceful organization, or at least, it always was, instead of the radical race supremacists terrorist they are now.
Jaune: I didn’t have a uncle in my world, least, not that I know of. Uncle Roman wasn’t… Well actually bar the fact we’re related there is not much difference between the two.
Jeanne: I had an aunt in my world. I miss her.
Jaune: And, Winter Schnee isn’t our potential sister. So yeah, we have just as many similarities as differences in this life. So, we are refraining from telling what happened in our worlds because, well, we don’t know what may happen in this world.
Saphire: So then, in the book series I wanted you to read, Ninjas of Love. You said you didn’t want to read it, was that because you’ve already read it in your past life?
Jaune: Yes, you forced me to read it, and before you ask for my opinions, the entire series, eight books of nothing, but utter smutty trash!
Saphire: Eight books?! There’s only four out right now! It’s getting more; tell me when?!
Jaune: Oops…
Jeanne: Does that mean I have to read more of that trash?! Aww man…
Jaune: You’ve been reading that trash?!
Jeanne: She keeps using those puppy dog eyes on me, I have no resistance to it!
Jaune: Weak.
Jeanne: Shut up. Any questions?
Juniper: Yes; The reason you two are so well skilled with your chosen weapons, and in fact knew exactly what kind of weapons, and armour you wanted is because you had this gear in your previous life?
Jaune: Yep, I had all the same gear in my past life.
Jeanne: Same.
Acheius: And, the reason you’re so tactically minded, Jaune is because of all the battles you fought right.
Jaune: I’ve always had a tactical mind, I’ve just sharpened it over the years.
Angela: Have you made any plans on what you’re going to do in this life?
Jeanne: A few. Since we don’t know what’s going to happen in this life we’re mostly just waiting to see what happens, and go from there.
Angela: What do you have planned?
Jeanne: Mostly reuniting with our old friends, and having the relationships we didn’t get to have in that life.
Saphire: What kind of relationship?
Jaune: Some will be romantic if you must know.
Saphire: How many?
Jaune: Myself? More than one at the least, you, Jeanne?
Jeanne: You, and one other person. I’ll probably have a relationship with the other members of your inevitable harem.
Jaune: Well, considering who may be involved that should be a given.
Juniper: Do I get grandkids out of your harem?
Jeanne: Jaune gave you your first grandkid in my life! She was absolutely gorgeous!
Juniper: The other me’s male version of the other me’s Jeanne was the first one to give me a grandchild? What were those kids doing?!
Jeanne: That’s what I was thinking too! Jaune already had an adorable nephew in his world! I didn’t have shit until he knocked up my partner!
Angela: Wait, you knocked up her partner? Was this during a… You called it a, ‘Swap’ right?
Jaune: Yeah, I knocked her up during a, ‘Swap.’ It was consensual mind you! She saw me, and practically pounced me. It’s always the quiet ones… Whoo!
Thiriana: But, why did she do that?
Jaune: Uhh… Jeanne?
Jeanne: She was an orphan who lost her family at a young age like so many others. So, she confessed to always wanting to be a mother, and having a family of her own one day when she grew up. When the swaps started happened she was one of a few people that was always kind to, Jaune so the two managed to bound. But, what really caused her to fall for you was that time you saved her on a mission. We were dealing with a bunch of bandits, and Rin was captured. They were about to… do things to her, when we swapped. I was trying to negotiate with them to get her back, but when we met up in the, ‘White Room,’ Jaune was there covered in blood. He told me she was safe, she was fine. Her clothes were a little torn, but she was safe. When I came back, she was standing before me with a faint blush on her face. I teased her relentlessly about her crush on, Jaune for months, until one day, after another swap, and meeting in the, ‘White Room.’ Jaune confessed to knocking her up. After that, she dropped out of, Beacon, me, and my team went home, and left her with you to help raise their child. She eventually grew up to become a exemplary huntress, and proud mother in her own right. Haaa… I miss them…
Juniper: You’ll see them, again, Jeanne. I know you will.
Jeanne: I know. I just don’t want to wait longer.
Thiriana: So she fell for, Jaune because he was the whole, ‘knight in shining white armour?’
Jeanne: Yes, but the beard, and wolf tail certainly helped.
Acheius: You grew a beard; Was it any good?
Jaune: Better than yours; It may have been an unkempt mess because I couldn’t shave it in years, but the ladies certainly liked it.
Acheius: Well, the lady certainly liked mine! Right dear~?
Juniper: No I…?!
Jaune: No she didn’t! If mom had a son you had to shave it off, that was the bet you two made, and thank gods you lost it!
Jeanne: Yeah, that thing was hideous.
Acheius: Y-You remember that…?!
Jaune: I remember it.
Jeanne: We both remember it…
Juniper: You you two were just born?! How can you remember that?!
Jeanne: Hell if I know.
Jaune: The gods are a punch of dicks, what more can we say about why this all happened.
Angela: Gods, don’t you mean goddesses?
Jaune: No… wasn’t this world run by two brother gods…?
Angela: No, the legends say it was run by two sister goddesses.
Jaune: …
Jaune: Well the moon’s still broken; so instead of a punch of gods who are massive dicks, they’re a bunch of bitches.
Angela: They broke the moon?!
Jaune: And, they’re assholes, moving on!
Jeanne: Any questions?
Juniper: Does anyone…?
Arc Family: No. I’m good. Too much to think about to ask really.
Juniper: Okay… I guess that’s it. We’ll just ask you if there’s anything we think about.
Jeanne: Okay, that’s fine…
Jaune: I guess that’s it. We’ll talk later. Family meeting adjured.
Luna: Wait! One question?
Jaune: Haa… And, what’s that?
Luna: What’s the next winning lottery numbers?!
Jaune: …
Jeanne: …
Arc Family: …
Luna: What?
Jeanne: All these fascinating things could, and did happen to us, and you want to know lottery numbers?!
Luna: Yes…?
Jaune: Haaa…
Jaune: 40-21-588.
Luna: Fuck yeah! See you guys latter, momma’s gonna become rich! Hahahaha!!!
Acheius: A-Are those seriously the winning lottery numbers…?
Jaune: Nope. I just wanted to mess with her.
Jeanne: Nice~!
Acheius: Oh, okay then…
///
Ughhh… It’s done… It’s finally done!
I couldn’t finish this for weeks, but it’s finally done! Not my best, but it is done.
Enjoy~!
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you won't post 1 headcanon for every puppet. you wont
i WILL. AND i'll do it in chronological order from appearance (more or less). but it will be under a readmore after the first season so i dont interrupt anyones scrollin
The Professor: i think in addition to growing a bit from Dino DNA(tm) he also has feathers now. just some feathers in there with his fur. maybe even molts and is miserable about it
Death: he plays guitar And piano, but just as a hobby. he's like a salaryman who had a garage band as a teenager and never fully gave up on the dream
Propeller: propeller SADSTUCK: i think he legitimately had to go to therapy for the britannica shit that happened. PH feels like it would be that realistic about mental health tbh
Big Pile of Diamonds: his mustache is fake. his greatest secret. his greatest shame.
God: he actually really likes to dance! unfortunately next 2 no one will do it since... The Incident
Train: does he not have a better name... maybe put a mr. in front of there... anyway he feels betrayed by the U.S. since they gave up the train model for highways/interstates and the motorcar industry. gets REALLY heated about it
Mt. Vesuvius: has a bunch of speeches given by famous latin authors and orators memorized, but sometimes he mashes them up without realizing/misattributes which one was written by whom. old man moments
Hatshepsut's Goose: can't remember what their gender was in life. that's fine, they love being a nonbinary icon. AMAB (Assigned Mummy at (em)Balming)
Clipped Coin: dodges the spool's wrath by being unflappable and so down to earth despite his apparent success. truly the king of staying in his own lane
Olympic Torch: hes a cranky piece of shit and only really enjoys sporting competition. he was complaining about being in the group puzzle photo so god just picked him up and he went ffffffffffine. okay. ill smile for 2 seconds
Gay Oars: i think they Also went to therapy, mostly relationship counseling, and now they are back and better than Ever. unbreakable bond. im abt to pen a whole ass comic series about them getting married in purgatory
Policarpa's Spool: still thinks of himself as a spy type, but there's only so much spying he can do in... purgatory. of course, his primary nemesis is the treasure chest.
Lake Donner Snowman: idk if this counts as a headcanon per se but in my very short list where i recast the puppets as famous singers, he is ABSOLUTELY voiced by Weird Al Yankovic.
St. Nick's Wet Bones: sort of taking the whole purgatory thing in stride. he kinda feels like he's in retirement! now he's a minor agent of chaos who's looked after by his darling Pickle Boys
Beast of Gevaudan: i was so sad when the infinitiger wasn't real, i wanted them to have a cooking show together so badly and destroy the horse's self-esteem. i love him. hes so abominably french
Stool of Gold: well-traveled, well-read, literally just as sensible as the Book or the Oars, but finds the chaos entertaining to spectate.
Ziryab's Oud: I think that the puppets have divvied up the whole Wondrium Arena and all have designated Living Areas, and he has a whole dressing room filled with shitty costumes he can't even wear. every time someone knocks he answers like hes on MTV's Cribs.
Bye Bye Brothers: they live in the orchestral pit and treat it like a secret lair. only other Murderer Puppets are allowed in. EXCLUSIVE club
Flower Boat: GNC Icon. this is a flower boat stan account. jenuinely a wholesome, emotional vessel doing their best to pitch in.
Molasses Horse: you can wash him as much as you want, that shit always just comes back somehow. the book theorizes it's psychosomatic at this point, since they're technically only souls at this point.
Tiny Piece of Wheat: bro i bet they went through SUCH phases after finding out about the professor's death. like all five stages of grief and then four more that have not yet been discovered by humans. dw kiddo, u got Grandparents incoming
Emu: the type of guy to fistfight you and then help you up. laid back but ready to throw down at a MOMENT'S notice. has no beef with the Wheat, but generally avoids them to keep from any Upsets.
Treasure Chest: has a little list of get-rick-quick schemes he wants to test, but has no way to in purgatory. he has one braincell bouncing around in his head like the DVD logo
Scabs & Pus: they get to hang out with the Bye Bye Brothers in their little club :) they're gross dudes to look at and be around. but they are ultimately harmless and friendly and just happy to be included.
Book: i love da book. I think he lives in the music library backstage and finds librettos for stageplays/musicals to pitch to the group to put on, as well as produces their little TV shows.
Birch Trees: since they share a root system, they have a telepathic link and communicate without even speaking, which is fucking creepy as hell when one or both of them just start laughing out of nowhere. they probably enjoy acting sinister
Asmodeus: he worked HARD on his song for the show!!!!! i think he's a bit of a ham sometimes when he gets the chance. also his goat head bites literally anything that comes close on reflex.
The Devil: while everything he does is to get souls, it also feels like he wants for positive and is less an Enemy of God and more an Irritating Coworker. in my brain they have a whole Tom and Jerry thing going on.
I don't have anything for the Fake Puppets the Substitute impersonated, but im planning on drawing some infinitiger soon bc he was my fave for sure
The Substitute: this is PURELY crack but i think it would be hilarious if he had voice commands like some tech does. i want him to climb back in the window and ryan just yells XBOX TURN OFF and he vanishes.
Dino Dad/Dinosir: i think even after he gets to the present and learns about all kinds of rocks and gems and crystals he Still just loves a big old rock he can lay on and sun himself with. like a dad and his armchair. doesnt gotta be fancy, just has to be comfy.
Dino Mom/Dinosara: i think she would be REALLY into the fake tv shows the puppets in the Wondrium Arena make. and they'd probably Love to have her as a fan. i think both the professor's parents are Hella popular.
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gardenfern1905 · 1 year
Text
He may not be out yet but your local garden fern is starving so here you go since I am hungry and cannot sleep at 3:54, enjoy
"Unexpected Meetings"
Survivor reader
Recently everyone was given a unexpected note by the nightingale, stating that there would be a new hunter coming into the manor, all the survivors would be chatting about it all day and talking about what they would look like, what their gender would be and what their abilities could be, since the note didn't really label any of that.
"Hey y/n!" Emma yelled out, she was excited to see you after she had finished her match. "Any news of the new hunter yet?" She asked you, "No, I have not. What about you?". Emma looks at you with a beaming smile as if you offered her a newly discovered flower. "Mhm! I heard that the new hunter was gonna be a boy!" She beams with excitement, it was obvious that she seemed happy to share some of her found information. "Is that all?" You asked. "Nope! I over listened in one of the hunters conversations since they get more information about new coming hunters and apparently he is coming some time tonight!" She says with a wide grin. "I need to get going though , my next match will start shortly. Bye y/n!" Emma says as she leaves the room.
-Time skip to dinner-
All the survivors were gathered around a large dining room table as Vera and Annie were cooking food since it was their turn in their chores. "Do you know anything about the hunter?" A male voice says from behind your right side, it was Jose. You never really talked to him so why would he ask you about it, obviously he wants some information for future matches you thought but you didn't know if Emma wanted you to keep it secret. "No, why?" You respond hesitantly. "Well I heard some hunters talking about them never going to show up. Don't you think it's a little odd for the hunters to jump to negative conclusions?" He said, he seemed to be tired from his match but he was so determined to get you to answer.
"Food is ready! We are having mashed potatoes and gravy with vegetables and soup." Annie said as she was placing down everyone's plate. Everyone seemed off today, was it because of getting a new hunter and not having any further information. Or were you just to nervous to think straight and your the one being weird? You thought as you picked at the vegetables. You got up from the table and walked away excusing yourself and saying your thank you's for the meal. "The meal was nice, but I don't have a appetite right now." You say in a forced out mumble as you left to your room. (Damn y/n you really left the mashed potatoes, atleast let me eat your food!😭)
Everyone had seemed to finish their food later then usual, but everyone had seemed to head off to their room for the night, you couldn't sleep from the countless thoughts and worries in your head, so you left to get a drink from the kitchen. The moon was full and it seemed rather cold tonight, not to mention someone really had to leave a damn window open, you went to close it but you couldn't really help but feel as if you were being watched. You closed it and went on your way until you heard a faint knocking at a door.
It was soft but you couldn't tell what door it was knocking on, you followed the noise but was led to the front door as the knocking continued. You grabbed the door handle hesitantly but you managed to unlock the door and open it, only to be met with a tall masked figure. He had stilts and a hood with big ears. He was covered in snow and he had some white hair peeking out from the dark blue hood. It stared at you for a brief moment before her asked in a silent. "Is this the Oletus Manor?"(I think that's the name, please correct me if I'm wrong.) He said in a hushed tone. You look up him before you reply while moving to the side for him, "Come in?" You say. He enters the doorway before he looks down at you, he asks why he was invited here and why he was given the role of a "Hunter" to play as. "You will be told in the morning, but please follow me to the hunter's area, you gestured him to follow you.(Holy! It's 4:34 am and I have school in the morning! Oh well lol)
Hunter reader
All the hunters were given a note about a new hunter coming to the Manor, the notes for the hunters and the survivors were different depending on the role of the new comer. If it was a new survivor, the survivors get more information then the hunters. If it was a new hunter than the hunters get more information than the survivors. The note stated the hunter and their appearance so they don't get mistakened for a stranger and locked out of the Manor. You had a match coming up but that did t stop you from going to your very known friend, Michiko. "Michiko! Are you excited!? We are getting another comrade!"You beamed with joy as you were standing there infront of your dearest friend. "Yes I am!.. What do you think their abilities will be?" She asked with fan covering her face. "I don't know, but I hope me and him can be very good friends!"You say towards the lady. "Well then, you should get going to your match. Wouldn't it be starting soon?" Michiko said as she leaves towards her room. You quickly head towards the matching table before a patrolled come to escort you to your starting area on the match campus.
You were matched against Norton, Ganji, Edger and Memory. It was a simple win you thought but playing further into the match you had become to excited to meet the new hunter that your skills were loosing their talent and even the survivors were confused at this point. "Why do you keep missing me!?" Edger said as he was kiting you while the others were decoding. You were so bad at this point you never got to get one hit in during the whole game, that was until the last cipher popped and you were lucky enough to have detention. Edger must have not know and accidently stopped running to put his painting down, only to get downed. The match was difficult. You only seemed to eliminate Edger as injuring Ganji since detention doesn't last forever.
"Y/n!" Robbie yelled out as he approached you. "Mary wanted me to tell you that your on door duty for when the new hunter comes!" The little boy exclaims as he stands there waiting for a response. "OK Robbie I will remember that!"You respond as you pat him on his head, he left to collect more candy from Smiley.
-Time skip to after dinner-
Everyone had ate their meals and left off to bed, leaving you on watch for the new coming hunter. It was cold on this very night as you were sitting there drinking hot coco as the clock silently ticks. You were about to drift off to sleep until you heard a loud knocking at the front door. You jumped, almost spilling the hot chocolate onto your lap. Placing the warm drink down you quickly unlock the door and open it to be met with the icy orbs of an masked figure staring down at you. It was wearing a dark blue hood with ears and tall silver stilts, he looked at you as you stepped aside for him to come in, he looked at you as he was asked a confusing question but entered anyway. "I suppose you got a note telling you to come here?" You say while looking at him, he hesitantly nods as you smile. "Don't worry we all did. Now please follow me and I will show you to the room your staying in, we will explain why your hear int the morning!" You say without letting him talk as you lead him towards his room.
This was my very first time writing a fanfic and I think I did pretty good, if there were any spelling mistakes please tell me but other than that I hoped you enjoyed but it's 5:00 and I need to add hashtags and GET SOME DAME SLEEP!!!
(Also if you guys have any writing advise just know that I am all ears.. 👂)
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xekstrin · 7 months
Note
Yo, mistery gender here! I can see that Armored Core, and maybe all FromSoft games, resonates with you. And it's really cool.
Brofist. I just picked up Armored Core yesterday, and... i mean, you pointed out all the various problems the games brutally exposes about capitalism and whatnot, and i wholeheartedly agree. I mean, just from hour one you see everything being spelled out for ya, big plot twists being the exceptions. But i came with a question: i think i'm decent enough at this game, but i'm a massive perfectionist, and wanted to ask you for pointers.
Like... i think maybe it just boils down to practicing like crazy, but i wanna know if there are moments like in Sekiro when it just "clicks" and you go right into the zone. I mean, the game is MUCH more lenient with checkpoints than other FromSoft's games, but... i dunno, i like to think i have some margin of betterment, and wanted to achieve that.
Thanks in advance, and happy playing!
I’m flattered you think I’m any good at this game! I just scream and mash buttons and usually that works
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unironicposadist · 10 months
Text
a new(?) M*A*S*H thesis
BJ and Colonel Potter embody the show’s capitulation to “true,” normative, “ideal” masculinity. Allow me to explain.
I had this thought and had to share with the tumblr girlies because in my real life, the people who watch MASH are not the sort of people with whom Gender Talks are fun to have, and the people that have the background, inclination and patience to talk gender have no interest in watching MASH.
There is the trend that many commentators have already observed that the show in the early seasons is generally just flat-out sexist, but simultaneously more anti-war and anti-empire, more progressive in a broad sense, and is more challenging and gender fluid (at least within the confines of male subjectivity), and these things are negatively correlated over the run of the series. As the show becomes less sexist, it also yields to normative gender roles and becomes more ambivalent and wishy-washy in its anti-war message.
I was thinking about these things and it occurred to me -- in the first three seasons, none (and I repeat: none) of the main characters can be said to embody an ideal masculinity or femininity, whether defined by standards of the ‘50s when the show takes place, or the ‘70s or ‘80s when it aired.
Hawkeye - too effeminate, expressive and prone to melancholy
Trapper - unfaithful to his wife
Colonel Blake - too indecisive
Radar - too naïve and innocent
Frank - is a cowardly dolt
Mulcahy - too touchy feely and earnest
Klinger - is a crossdresser and proud of it
Margaret - too smart, angry, courageous, independent to be “ideal” as a woman
All of the men fall short of the American masculine ideal, and the one woman with any depth explodes in many ways what is acceptable femininity. Many of the men don’t even believe in “ideal manhood,” or if they say they do, they say it with a wink. Frank’s the only one that buys into the ideological horse hockey of Total Masculinity, and he’s... well, he’s Frank.
Then arrive BJ and Colonel Potter. Married men, and faithful despite the temptations that cross their paths. They are worldly and stoic, and while they have their rare moments of tearful vulnerability, their shared doctrine is one of suppression, compartmentalization and stoicism. They must never outwardly admit to having succumbed to the horrors. They are charming, assertive, patriotic (whether in Potter’s stars-and-bars kind of way or BJ’s picket fence and apple pie kind of way) and they are men, no two ways about it.
And then slowly the failures of the other men fall away. Trapper and Blake are gone. They are followed in short order by Frank, who is just about as aggressive a satire of the contradictions of American masculinity as I’ve seen in media. Radar falls in love and grows up, just in time to leave. Klinger stops crossdressing. Mulcahy becomes less soft and caring, gets more sarcastic and more prone to anger. And even Hawkeye gets worn down into a good-soldier shell of the flamboyant, promiscuous pinko fairy man he used to be. In the early seasons he is truly hysterical in a way that defies diagnosis (and I use the word hysterical quite intentionally) and eventually this general insanity gets mollified and medicalized into panic, trauma, anxiety, the usual. But he learns to deal with it -- until he snaps obviously, but the big snap at the end came because he stopped engaging the little ones that seemed to come every three episodes in the early seasons.
There is plenty more to dive into, such as the curious case of the vaguely asexual sneering upper class masculinity of Charles Emerson Winchester III, the extremes of healthy and toxic masculinity represented by recurring characters Sidney and Colonel Flagg, and the expanded representation of women which goes along with Margaret’s enrichment as a character with wants and needs beyond having a Romantic Other. Maybe I’ll get into those soon but for now it’s 1am and I need to read my book and sleep. Please, engage me in discourse, if you wish. I’m curious what the 50-100 of us think about this. Lol.
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twistedgardens · 2 years
Text
Oops, they’re babies now: Azul Ashengrotto edition
Content: 99% SFW, Azul gets turned into a baby by accident, it mostly fluff but has a slight breeding kink (if you squint and tilt your head) at the end, Azul becomes too forward 
(FEMALE READER/YUU)
It was supposed to be an average day in the alchemy labs. Professor Divus got into his head to pair you up with someone else since Grim gave himself a tummy ache from something he ate and forced to be excused from class. Nothing was supposed to happen. All you had to do was add the correct ingredients and stir the potion. Well, unfortunately accidents happen. Perhaps your nerves got the better of you or you got distracted and grabbed the wrong ingredient? One way or another, there’s a loud poof! and a mushroom cloud of pale blue smoke. You narrowly dodge it and scramble for the emergency exit along with your peers, who are by now laughing at your clumsy mistake. Professor Divus is equally miffed. However, once all the heads are accounted for, there’s still one missing. As guilty as you may feel, you have to wait in the hallway for the smoke to clear. When you’re finally allowed back into the classroom, you’re the first to run in and check on your partner. There’s a pile of clothes where they once stood. Your blood runs cold when the first thought of accidentally killing crosses your mind. The bundle of clothes begin to move. You breathe a sigh of relief once you realize at least they’re alive. You kneel down and begin to pull the clothes away and see...your partner’s been turned into a baby?!
“Since it was Yuu’s fault that he was regressed into an infant, it would be Yuu’s responsibility to take care of him in the mean time,” said Crowley. “But not to worry. Being the generous headmaster I am, I’ll personally make sure you’ll have all the tools you’ll need to take care of him while we wait for Professor Divus to prepare the reversal potion.”
“Just what kind of gender roles are you pushing onto me?”
Azul Ashengrotto
You pulled away the starched white lab coat. As soon as you pull it up, a squishy-faced Azul. Instead of two pudgy legs, eight wiggling octopus legs squirm around the clothes now too big for him. Azul inks all over his uniform and starts wailing. 
“Well, shit.”
Jade & Floyd are immediately summoned
A large fish tank is pushed in and Azul is dunked into the water like he’s getting baptized
Aforementioned fish tank is transported to Ramshackle Dorm, whether you like it or not 
Congratulations! You have a baby octopus who won’t stop crying keeping you up all day and night
With some mercy, you’re spared from going to classes in order to take of Azul until Professor Divus can make the antidote. But all that means is that you’re stuck at home feeding, combing his hair, and burping little Azul
The tank has to include a little pot for Azul to hide in when he’s being stubborn. 
You have to change the water every hour thanks to Azul spreading ink everywhere
His cries wake you up every hour, and usually at the least convenient moment like when you’re trying to take a nap or shower
This goes on for about a week yet there’s not sign that Professor Divus is anywhere near completing the antidote
After that, Azul gets used to you and even lets you cuddle him during feeding
He begins to cry less and less, letting you get some well-deserved rest (at long last!)
However, more cuddles means more chances for his suckers sticking to your face. He has no control of the suction cups or tentacles so be prepared to have perfect circle pocking up your face, neck, arms, and shoulders
As an octopus, Azul’s favorite meals are mashed crab meat, sea slugs, and claims. The kitchen now smells like a fish market and it’s going to take weeks to get rid of the smell
Once Professor Divus comes up with the antidote, it doesn’t come at a moment too soon
Jade is prepared with towels since once Azul turns back, he’s not going to be wearing clothes
Azul tries to give you the cold shoulder, after all, it’s your fault he got turned into a baby for a couple weeks, but he remembers everything you did for him during that time. It was endearing to see you act so motherly, even reluctantly
When Azul turns to leave with Floyd and Jade, he looks behind his shoulder at you and Ramshackle house. For a moment, you think he’s looking back at you tenderly. 
The moment is brief and over in a flash. The worst part is that no one is going to believe you
The next day, you find a bouquet of flowers and a large box on the front porch of Ramshackle house
Curious yet cautious, you carefully open the box
For some reason, it’s full of baby clothes, ones with eight legs, and a letter
Heat rushes to your face as you read Azul’s letter, asking you out on a date and wondering if he’d be allowed to make you a real mom one day (that’s really a little too forward, Azul!)
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vossn · 10 months
Note
8, 10, 11, 18, 21, 25, 28, 34 for the pride asks please :3
Hiiiii >:3
8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender:
If you say giraffe I'll be chasing you around the house with a mop soaked full of bong water. Fish. Dancing in my boxer shorts to Karma Chameleon with a coffee in hand. "A city in flames" by Imaginary Authors. The Witcher.
10. Something that gives you gender euphoria (whether you're cis or trans):
My combat boots. People have commented that I walk more upright when I wear them and they make me feel like I'm exuding mayor "don't fuck with me" energy and I could step on anyone that dares to get in my way. I'm still the same quivering creature I was before but y'know. Euphoria.
11. Favorite (or just one you love) piece of LGBT media?
Cloud Atlas! It has 8 (I think) story strands and one follows a gay couple. The aesthetics of that story line have shaped me a whole lot and even though it doesn't have what I'd consider a happy ending, I'm glad to have seen it when I did.
18. How old were you when you got to attend your first Pride? Who did you go with?
I was 15 or 16! I went with a group of friends, most of them I am still in contact with a decade later. It was great fun and I don't think Pride ever felt as exciting as it did that day. I can show you some pictures if you'd like?
21. What message would you give to your younger self?
"It hurts and it is difficult, that doesn't mean that it's wrong."
25. What queer discourse frustrates you the most?
I'm tired of a lot of in-fighting and as someone who is not great with social rules, I hate going into spaces where I feel lots of contradicting rules apply. So I keep to myself and run as soon as I see discourse on the horizon. Is it cowardly? Maybe. But it's self-care to me, and if I don't have the energy then it is what it is.
28. Do you experience both romantic and sexual attraction? Do you experience them the same across any gender(s) you are attracted to?
I do experience both and to a variety of genders. It ebbs and flows, honestly. At the moment I find myself really attracted to masculinity (attracted is too little of a word, it makes me a little unhinged. feverish. But that may be due to envy as well, most definitely actually but not exclusively.) in either way but in general i am just always, 100% in love with all kinds of people. I experience it in a very mish-mashed-together way with very little borders between romantically, sexually and platonically, so it's just one big soup of love. Also if I have "my" people, that I have gotten to know and love, my attraction to them will likely not waver because gender and type of attraction tends to matter little to me then.
34. What are you needing most right now (what would make your life easier or more fulfilling in regards to existing as queer)?
More resources in the area where I live! Please, for the love of fuck, support your rural areas and not just the capital city. Also a law reform.
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et-capulus-lac · 9 months
Text
Here's a couple things that could make your life better
• Learn foreign languages. The more languages you speak the more you understand the world and its people. You'll know yourself better and you'll have a double amount of opportunities for every language you learn.
• On that note, you don't have to be fluent in a language to be able to converse. To most natives "I student literature of university" is just as good as "I'm a student of literature at a university". Never be afraid to speak your desired language.
• When explaining something to people, make them feel intelligent, never belittle anyone.
• HYDRATE, and I mean hydrate a lot. Not an occasional coffee and a glass of water when you feel like you need it. The moment you feel the thirst you already should have had a bottle or more.
• Also, coffee is amazing™ but it does steal your water so DON'T. FORGET. YOUR. WATER., okay?
• Stereotypes are sometimes true and there's a high percentage behind some. Never believe in stereotypes tho.
• There is no such thing as a useless degree. When someone tells you that you'll "never find a job with it" they're limiting their perspective to the 10-15 most common jobs. These jobs are amazing IF you're interested in them. There's always a profession you'll find your passion in.
• If you've spent a lot of time in the sun, wet your head. Your head heats up so fast and could make you nauseas. Cool your head (literally)!
• It doesn't matter how "complicated" it is. When it comes to monogamous relationships, if the person is taken they're off limits as long as that's the case. They're none of your business just as you are none of theirs.
• Ice coffee is great but if you have stomach issues of any kind avoid drinking it when you're out.
• Learn. how. to. cook. No, I don't care if you're a person who doesn't intend to be like ye old archetypes or a person who's doesn't think they'll ever need it. Eating is essential to survival. Restaurants are expensive, cooking can be a great experience and you're not a Disney princess regardless of gender. Actually, if you don't know how to boil eggs or how to prepare mashed potatoes from scratch go learn right now and then continue reading this post.
• Don't exercise to fit the newest fashion as if your body is an accessory. Exercise so that you can be healthy. Exercise so that you can reach your pen from the floor without feeling sick, so that you can take the staires without counting all the stars of Orion along the way, exercise so that you can be autonomous for as long as you can, exercises so that you're healthy. Try to take care of your body as much (and more) as it is trying to take care of you.
• Additionally, exercise isn't just going to the gym, exercise is your favourite sport, exercise is a walk in nature or around the block and it is playing with a child or a dog, running like a lunatic instead of walking to campus... Exercise is anything you feel good and comfortable with at your own needs and current possibilities.
• Don't stress over big decisions. Think of them as adventures, nothing has to be permanent no matter what you may think. You can just wake up one day and decide to live in the woods with your goat and no degree choice or job can stop you.
• Allergies change throughout your life, true, but don't take big risks with them unless you know 100% and have it certified by Ghandi and the Queen and Dan Reynolds just in case because they can truly knock you out so stay safe.
• Brush your teeth at least twice a day. It's a couple minutes. I don't care if you don't care about aesthetics. It's health. And prosthetics are expensive. How will you eat, man? I saw this from another person; if you don't like the taste of mint, get yourself a flavour you like. There *are* options. Get yourself a nice toothbrush to get yourself excited about it, invest into an electric one if you want.
• Apply for the job you don't think you're "qualified" for. 1. Why not? What do you have to lose? 2. You just might be.
• After shaving your privates out 0 aluminium on the upper part to avoid itching.
*I will add onto this list so stay tuned
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mariacallous · 11 months
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Editor's Note: This piece was originally published by The American Prospect.
Thanks to the clean energy revolution, batteries are no longer in the public eye just in the form of that unstoppable bunny in TV ads. Batteries—like computer chips, electric vehicles, solar panels, and other hardware—are having a moment.
Last fall, with funding from 2021’s mammoth bipartisan infrastructure law, the U.S. Department of Energy (DOE) awarded nearly $3 billion in grants to 20 manufacturers of electric vehicle (EV) battery components in 20 states. That’s just a portion of the taxpayer money appropriated to dramatically expand battery production and enlarge the EV supply chain in the U.S., which is, in turn, a small part of the trillion-dollar surge in federal investment.
In February, the Commerce Department announced the terms of competition for $39 billion in federal subsidies for manufacturers to expand domestic production of semiconductors. Among other conditions, the CHIPS Incentives Program limits stock buybacks and requires applicants to provide the child care that’s so crucial to enabling more women to work in manufacturing.
The question now is how these big bets to expand advanced manufacturing and boost research and development in America—taken together, what the Biden administration calls our country’s “new industrial strategy”—will create broadly shared economic gains, including good jobs, for workers and communities across the country.
This “how” is not without controversy, to put it mildly. Beyond the conservative critics who have lambasted the child care requirement and other conditions, influential liberal voices have aired serious skepticism as well. In a recent column (and clever pop culture mash-up), Ezra Klein of The New York Times decried “everything-bagel liberalism” that pursues “everything everywhere all at once.” But he, too, lumps everything together—from permitting requirements confronting nonprofit housing developers to these new, conditional industrial-policy incentives meant to embed meaningful economic opportunity for workers and communities into the DNA of some of the world’s most important and massively subsidized growth industries. Klein—whom we agree with on many things—gets it wrong when it comes to CHIPS and other promising government efforts to chart a new course.
Advocates have worked for decades in many parts of the country on how to make the economy work for all, on a foundation of good jobs and racial and gender equity. From that work, one essential lesson emerges: Attaching clear, consistently enforced expectations to public investment is indispensable. And with the enactment of last year’s landmark legislation, public officials now have a once-in-a-generation set of tools and resources to do this. The “how,” however, remains an open question, especially for jobs outside of construction.
For much of the past half-century, America’s dominant economic paradigm held that free markets and freewheeling capital alone have created the nation’s critical industries and enabled them to flourish. That paradigm denied the important role that government plays in shaping the nation’s economy. Indeed, innovation has long required and received government-backed R&D, contracts, and other investments in discovery and commercialization. Today, that investment is also focused on the making of a lot of stuff: batteries, electric vehicles, charging stations, computer chips that put the brains in all that hardware, and more. So how did we approach that challenge for the past few decades, given that influential economists and political leaders across the political spectrum often questioned whether America needed manufacturing at all?
Consider the evolution of the DOE and how it impacts our economy and communities. Created with a wartime sense of urgency—to address the energy crisis of the 1970s—the DOE quickly found itself in the crosshairs of American politics, especially as high gas prices receded and renewable energy seemed a pipe dream. For years, the DOE was a favorite target for those keen to attack public investment and many of the other tools of entrepreneurial government. By that we mean, as economist Mariana Mazzucato argues in her book “Mission Economy: A Moonshot Guide to Changing Capitalism,” a government that is both equipped and directed to help solve national challenges—not just address market failures and economic calamities.
Despite the lack of broader political support, the DOE quietly became a vital source of the R&D dollars that helped develop new technologies. Thanks to the Advanced Technology Vehicles Manufacturing Loan Program, signed into law by President George W. Bush in 2008, the agency also became an important supplier of the financing that, in principle, could have helped turn great ideas into great companies that committed to good jobs in addition to great products.
Famously, the DOE bet $465 million in taxpayer dollars, in the form of a direct loan, on the ambitious domestic production plans of Tesla, now the world’s most valuable car company. That was well before the private capital markets were ready to make that bet on a largely unproven company and its first major factory in Fremont, Calif.
The DOE’s investment in Tesla paid off in terms of demonstrating the viability of mass-produced electric vehicles. But in terms of generating good jobs and racial and gender equity in this critically important new industry, the investment proved to be a bust. The company leads all carmakers in the U.S. in workplace safety violations—as Forbes put it, “racking up more infractions and fines in the last three years than all other automakers in the U.S. combined.” CEO Elon Musk has fought workers’ attempts to unionize by spying on them, firing organizers, and refusing to stop anti-union social media attacks. The company is also being sued by the state of California for alleged widespread anti-Black racism, and by several women for alleged sexual harassment.
There’s a moral to this story: Tesla may be the world’s biggest example of how much harder it is for government to push for high-road labor standards after a company has grown with the help of taxpayer financing. If something important is not part of the deal up front, it tends not to happen.
Tesla is not alone. Particularly in the South and many rural areas around the country, even in ostensibly pro-labor states such as California, innovative manufacturers are mass-producing low-quality jobs. The good manufacturing job is mostly gone, outside of the less than 10% that are unionized. There is, therefore, no guarantee that a significant chunk of the publicly supported clean and high-tech production jobs will pay much more than minimum wage or that they will provide opportunity for training and advancement.
That is, unless certain choices are made to incentivize and embed good jobs and equity into the deals.
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Hi, just saw your post about your fav characters....Can I ask your your top 5 or 10 fav Disney characters and why you love them...?
EDIT: I am so sorry this took me so long to answer. I was doing a show and then Christmas happened and then I just let it stew!!
Lmao, sure! I'm not going to put the ones from the first post on here, because I've talked about them before. (But Stitch is still the top!! I'll also leave off Peter Pan and Cinderella) I'm not counting Marvel, Star Wars or Pixar; just Disney Animated Classics
Again, in no particular order, because that's too much stress.
1.) Jim Hawkins from Treasure Planet
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The angst! The arc! But most importantly, the gender!!! I watched it again recently and Jim's story is just!! So full of emotions!! His relationship with Silver - coming to terms with his absent dad - just very good stuff! (And for a 00s kid, he was the epitome of cool, lmaoo)
2.) Tiana from Princess and the Frog
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Again, similar to Cinderella, I relate to 'Dreams come true, but you have to put in the hard work for them.' Especially this last year (me and Tiana both worked two jobs!), and working on coursework. Now that I've finished my course, I'm still holing up most nights to polish off a manuscript I want to seriously get published. Tiana working so hard for her dreams is a big inspiration. I probably take the wrong message from the film, lol
3.) Anna from Frozen
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This is mostly because I cosplayed Anna, multiple times! I have her coronation dress and her blue dress! It was honestly more because my friend had the dress ready to go, than any real choice, which spawned getting brought a lot of Anna merch. But I do like her as a character; her determination and optimism and that she's honestly an awkward dork.
4.) Oliver from Oliver and Company
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I love Oliver Twist and I've loved ginger cats ever since I first watched Alien. So I have to love Oliver. He is just...a little boy...there's not much substance to him but there doesn't need to be: he's an orphan kitten and his job is to be lovable.
5.) Aladdin
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The best Disney man? He's charming and handsome and dedicated! I thought I would have more to justify it, but not really, lol - he's a very nice man! The magic carpet ride, the puppy eyes, the underlying queerness of 'Genie, make me a prince!'
(I was also cast as Aladdin in the school play; a big gender moment for me!)
6.) Koda from Brother Bear
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Brother Bear was one of my favourites as a kid, and I loved Koda. Like Oliver, he's - cute - and cuddly. And that's enough for him to earn a spot on the list, because my standards a low!
7.) Jiminy Cricket
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I do think Kingdom Hearts influences this one: I think his role in the games is cute! And the idea of him being a sidekick/guide is definitely story material I'm toying with. Idk, I just find him charming. Maybe it's because the film is vintage now..maybe it's because I have a lot of cute cross stitch patterns with him on...
8.) Taran from The Black Cauldron
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But, uh, not to be pretentious: he's better in the Chronicles of Prydain books. That's not hugely fair, because there's five books and The Black Cauldron is more a mash-up of the first two, so Taran's arc is longer and more spread out in the novels. The sword is dealt with a lot more poingantly, and the reveal of his parents? Very good!
With the Disney version I guess its just that he's Arthur if Arthur was a little more fun and a little more flawed. Taran's kind of a jerk, but he learns to be a hero. And that's catnip for me.
9.) Judy Hopps from Zootopia
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(Unfortunately.) I don't have great feelings about Judy's job, or her policework, but I watched Zootopia a lot before moving out to go to uni, and really related to moving into some shoddy places persuing a goal that might not happen. I do love how upbeat Judy is; her optimism is a good rule to live by.
(The above gif was definitely me having a great time at the uni organised disco playing Busted, next to a housemate who was babysitting me until he had to walk me to the bus stop so I could home. (I had work early the next morning.))
10.) Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland
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I really love Alice in Wonderland, but my favourite has always been the Cheshire Cat. I do love a cat, and the fact that he was pink and purple was the best to me as a child. I just think he's neat!
(Disney stop putting him on villains merchandise he is just a funky little guy!)
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max--phillips · 1 year
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Hey, I don’t know if the RSD post is in regards to the asks I sent regarding trans!Joel’s partner last night or not, but it’s okay. Tumblr’s good for just spitballing ideas and getting the ball rolling on story thoughts and that’s fine and all, I don’t blame you for just tossing out ideas. Mostly I was just hoping to nudge you towards a different story approach as to why his partner might not be in the picture come 2003. I’m sorry if the multiple asks made it seem like people were dogpiling on you or anything (I sent three but only because I was adding to the previous thought/s and hadn’t put all of it together into one ask, that’s on me).
I appreciate you anon, and I didn’t feel like I was getting dogpiled on or anything, I’m genuinely 100% totally grateful for your input because it wouldn’t have even crossed my mind if you hadn’t said something. I don’t want you wasting any time thinking you upset me or did anything wrong, I am absolutely not complaining about you, I’m complaining about the way my brain (doesn’t) work. You have nothing to apologize for.
The stupid thing about RSD is that it’s (for me at least) a completely irrational extension of my anxiety, so even though I know for a fact that it’s really not that big of a deal and it’s something I can rectify by, y’know, coming up with another backstory, my brain Flips The Fuck Out because I have Committed A Moral Wrongdoing and I am Clearly A Terrible Person. Which. Is not true. I just wrote some words and had you (politely!) point out something that I should’ve taken into consideration. But my brain is like, “you may as well have called this hypothetical ex a racial slur.” Obviously this is not the same thing. What I WISH my brain would’ve done is gone “oh shit true. I gotta think about that” which is what my logical, rational side did, but the logical rational side doesn’t get to pilot when irrational mentally ill side is having a weird meltdown.
Plus like, as someone who is KEENLY aware of the phenomenon of “white woman tears” (even though I don’t identify as a woman (sorta, gender is fucking complicated, but for the moment this is sufficient), I am white & if you passed me on the street you’d assume I was a girl) I cannot even BEGIN to express how annoying it is to have that kind of reaction to being pointed in the right direction. I know I’m not the victim, I don’t want to even act like I might possibly think I’m the victim, being pointed in the right direction is not victimizing, and yet I’m crying and thinking all these self-deprecating things in a way that someone could perceive as me playing victim. Y’know? And to an extent I feel bad even venting about these feelings because it’s not your fault, it’s an entirely internal conflict, but even saying “I am having negative feelings tangentially related to this thing” could be construed the wrong way. I hope that that makes any sense whatsoever
But, point is, I’m not upset with you one iota, I AM however frustrated with how my brain is wired, bc I’m very very tired of knowing rationally that everything’s fine when my brain views polite corrections or being told no as a Threat™️. Like I said: depressed mashed potatoes.
Y’know that post that’s like “I think if I could take my brain out and give it a good rinse, it would fix me?” Yeah . That
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dragqueenpentheus · 3 years
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hello, i love your playlists, i wonder if you’d ever make a playlist based on like.. transnatural or something. trans dean? yknow what i mean. gender :)
what theme would you prefer for our wedding??? woodsy and natural with a pretty strict colour pallet OR more relaxed and casual with just our close friends wearing their favourite outfits
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marley-manson · 2 years
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I love all your MASH posts! Do you have any thoughts to share on the varying ways the characters relate to queerness?
Thank you so much <3
You bet I do! I hope what you’re looking for here is a bunch of sexuality and gender related headcanons, because that’s what I’ve got.
None of these are hard and fast when it comes to like, writing fic or whatever, and there’s obviously room for a ton of different interpretations which is cool, but this is kind of like the default lens I watch the show through lol. Also I prioritize the show’s vibe over strict notions of historical accuracy wrt homophobia, but at the same time based on a couple books I’ve read it’s not necessarily historically inaccurate for a military unit to have a bunch of barely closeted people and for no one to really care lol, from what I’ve read it really varied depending on the unit and COs. It got dicier in the 50s as opposed to the early 40s with some official policy changes and the lavender scare, but probably still not impossible, at least according to anecdotal evidence.
Also obviously since this is based on mountains of gay jokes it’s not going to completely fit every moment in every episode, but ykw, the implications are still a lot more consistent than you’d probably expect lol.
So anyway. This got long so it’s under a cut.
Hawkeye:
Bi, has known it for a long time, and is perfectly secure and comfortable with it. I like to think he favours men a little over women, like a kinsey 4.5. No real reason, but it’s my headcanon so there.
Was somewhat into the gay scene back in the states, has had lots of anonymous sex and short term flings and maybe couple longer term male partners.
Carlye knows he's bi though he was probably monogamous while he was with her (I say this because their first scene together reads so strongly to me like he's trying to imply he's with BJ now to save face after learning she's married lmao).
On the slightly effeminate side but doesn't play it up much (I'm differentiating this from the onslaught of combatative jokes, I'm talking mannerisms and speech patterns), though he's happy to lean into queeny stereotypes a little to piss people off. Very nearly canonically a bottom lol, though I can see him occasionally switching, and very nearly canonically into tall, broad guys with a sense of humour, full lips, a nice ass, and a big dick based on the shoe size jokes.
I think his dad knows and is relatively cool about it too. I don't see it causing a lot of drama in his life, I think he's one of the lucky ones, which contributes to his relative lack of fear.
Though that said one headcanon I have is that some kind of close call with nearly getting caught or accused and discharged happened between season 7+8, which is why he tones it down so much in late Mash.
Hm what else... I just posted about this lol but after the war I can see him getting more politically engaged and casually joining the gay communist scene.
Trapper:
Also bi and knows it, more careful and discrete about it (back in the states) what with presumably being from a pretty catholic family and being married. My logic is if the jokes are Hawkeye's bi evidence, then Trapper with almost the same amount and as a totally game participant has the same evidence, but he does have a more conscious of consequences vibe to me.
I’m torn on whether Trapper was somewhat into the gay scene stateside, or if his experience was mainly just anonymous sex while cruising. I could see an argument for the latter being more realistic and plausible, BUT I’m kind of enamoured with the idea of Trapper being just as out, in the old school ‘part of a community’ sense, as Hawkeye. It could even be a fun nod to their original book backstory where they’d coincidentally met once at a football game - except they vaguely recognize each other from the Boston bar scene lol. Maybe they fucked in a bathroom stall once.
Either way I like to think he and Hawkeye started hooking up almost immediately, then became friends, then caught feelings, and Hawkeye was the first guy Trapper ever had romantic feelings for. It doesn't perfectly fit every moment - eg if you take their exchange at the end of George (what secrets do you have in your past?) as a gay reference, which I mean considering the context it's impossible not to, that implies Trapper doesn't officially know, but it ain't about the exacting details, it's about the Vibes.
Henry:
Mildly bi swinger. He's still cheating on his wife and vice versa because they're supposed to only fuck other people as a couple. Maybe doesn't really think of himself as bi bc it’s group sex, at least at first. I'm pretty sure someone was deliberately implying some of this lol, c'mon I saw Dear Dad 3, and he gets some of the most eyebrow raising gay jokes and moments.
(One of my favourite jokes: Henry makes a PA announcement about a meeting at 0700 hours. “Is that AD or BC?” "I don't know, I never could tell with Henry." Note that AC/DC was contemporary slang for bi.)
Also has a crush on Klinger, obviously.
Klinger:
Bi and nonbinary, initially repressed about both. Comes to terms with being bi partway through the show since he's clearly hooking up with Radar by season 4, so. I like to think he had sex with Trapper at some point in season 3 too, and idgaf about Laverne here. Maybe he figures it doesn’t count if it’s with dudes. Comes to terms with his gender much later, post-canon. Would probably consider himself a transvestite, historically speaking.
Like the way he still wears his pink housecoat, complete with a bow sometimes, even after dropping the section 8 attempts? The fur coat too? In one of the most recent episodes I rewatched, in season 10, he had a bra in his footlocker, and in a season 9 episode he had pink heels stashed in one of the file cabinets, uncommented on. Soon Lee wants to see him in a dress. It all fits.
I think after he gets back to the states he opens a dress shop, slowly and organically starts acquiring a discrete trans and drag queen clientele since he's very skilled at altering women's clothes to fit a masculine build, makes some friends, gets invited to some events, and starts fully embracing his femininity.
Margaret:
I kinda like the repressed lesbian take. Her attraction to men always feels so forced and performative, like she's trying so hard to fit a role. I can also see her as bi, but I vote lesbian. I think she fucked women in college, including Lorraine, and has told herself it was just an immature phase since. Also repressed butch. Someday she finally gets that crewcut.
Radar:
Repressed gay or bi with some internalized homophobia, but chills out about it eventually. I mean come on, that scene where he gets offended when changing in front of Hawkeye? His typical noooo stoooop reactions to the gay jokes in general? Klinger was his plausible deniability dude where he could be like 'it's not gay bc i think of him as a girl.' They break it off somewhere in season 5.
Father Mulcahy:
Gay but a catholic priest, so off limits. Knows he's gay but doesn't act on it. Chill with all the gay vibes around the 4077 in accordance with his fairly live and let live attitude, regardless of whether that actually makes much sense for him as a Catholic. Whatever, there’s always exceptions to common rules and maybe he’s one of them.
Frank:
Repressed bi, but not all that repressed. Like he knows it, but denies it in his head in a way that doesn't even convince himself, like reciting a rote platitude. Internalized homophobia up to here. Would absolutely still date a guy if anyone likeable ever expressed genuine interest because he's that desperate for approval and easily malleable.
BJ:
I tend to favour the repressed gay or bi take. I see the reasoning, it makes sense to me, and it’s a fun way to watch the show. It fits what I percieve as his initial awkwardness with Hawkeye’s gay jokes in his first few seasons, including occasional no homo style defensiveness, or bringing up his own masculinity, etc. Also the way he doesn’t seem to notice that Hawkeye is blatantly hitting on him at the airport bar. The gay read in particular fits the way his fixation on his family is explicitly framed as a coping mechanism too.
I really enjoy thinking that BJ knows Hawkeye is into men and specifically into him by like, around season 7/8. Maybe not a sudden realizaton, but a sort of gradual understanding. It adds a certain je ne sais quoi to their late series interactions, and feels oddly appropriate.
I like to think he realizes he’s not straight in whichever way and is in love with Hawkeye about a year or two after going home lol, amid a crumbling marriage. But I don’t endgame ship them, so I think this revelation comes too late, Hawkeye has already moved on, and he goes back to San Francisco and either saves his marriage or finds himself a nice boyfriend.
Charles:
Gay, aware but possibly refuses to act on it due to internalized homophobia and ~respectability~, or if he does, he’s very discrete and careful. On the hunt for a suitable lavender marriage.
Potter:
He’s the token straight to me, sorry.
Random related thoughts:
I think Hawkeye and Trapper and Henry and Klinger fostered the carefree anything goes atmosphere of the 4077 just by being the way they are and being chill.
I like to think there was a gay poker night once a month. Zale accidentally crashed it in Pay Day. Klinger goes even though he doesn't consider himself anything but a straight man at first, but he's always down for a poker game and he points out that he fits in just fine.
Whenever new lgbt people arrive at the 4077 they go to either Hawkeye or Klinger first since they’re so loud, and early on Klinger might point them in Hawkeye’s direction, and Hawkeye tells them where the Seoul + Tokyo bars are and invites them to the poker game.
I think Hawkeye's subplot in Of Moose and Men was coded homophobia. Textually it was the officer being offended that Hawkeye is insubordinate, but come on, "I don't want that man touching me," followed by a sex joke about Hawkeye giving him a sedative in the ass? Followed by dude continually being disturbed by him? They really made "goof off" sound like a slur lol. Rally Round the Flagg Boys also had a milder version of this with communist substituted. Idk if it’s intentional in either case, but the vibes were there.
Margaret found out that Hawkeye’s bi at some point not long after they slept together. I could see him coming out to her during one of their heart to hearts, honestly, maybe even by accident. Maybe it helps her come to terms with her own sexuality too.
By season 4 Hawkeye and Klinger are both aware of each others’ sexualities and sort of bond over being the only 2 somewhat out guys left in the main cast. The way they start hanging out more, for a while Hawkeye’s gay jokes come out more in scenes with Klinger than in scenes with BJ, and just in general their mid-show interactions tend to have that ‘the two out cousins at the family reunion’ solidarity vibe.
I think Hawkeye thinks BJ is straight throughout the whole run of the show, but also knows BJ is sort of using him as a platonic wife replacement. Actually I think Hawkeye encouraged it early on while lowkey trying to seduce him, eventually had to be like ‘damn guess he’s straight after all,’ but by now it’s too late to reverse course and so he’s stuck pining in this weird pseudo romantic friendship.
Aaaand okay I have to stop at some point so I’m sure I have more but let’s call it good.
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