#bilight's asks

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Why do you believe every character in twilight is bi

I thought Alice was the only one

If I don’t come up with a new character to headcanon as bisexual every 24 hours the severed body part of a loved one shows up in a box on my porch

#im kidding :) i dont have a porch #I choose to believe it because it makes things more fun for me and i enjoy disrespecing the canon text #twilight #twilight saga #twilight renaissance #bilight's asks #bilight talks #bilight interacts #bilight's bs #also the second half is sending me #like is that your opinion or do you really think that stefanie mormon meyers gave us queer representation #anyway stan edmond dantes count of monte cristo bi king of the morning <3

[libidomechanica]

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#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 3 #67 texts

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witch!angela au drabble

(written to fit into the Victoria and Bree Cullen au)

here’s how it goes. you’re a quiet kid. polite. bookish. mature for your age. when you introduce yourself with a nod and a “nice to meet you,” adults smile like you’re a performer in a play and notify your parents of what a little grown up you are. your glasses are too big for you. they slide down your nose. when class breaks, nobody wants to play games with you. well, you don’t really like games anyways. you like books, you tell yourself, you like learning, you like things that other kids don’t. you’re hardly a kid at all.

you spend your recesses in the library, or huddled in a corner of the field with books in your lap. you read nonfiction, because you’re hungry, because you yearn to know more, because you’re starved for something new. you read fantasy books, because they’re given to you on holidays, and you couldn’t bear to let it sit in your room with no one to read it. and you grow to like them too. they’re a different kind of nourishing. these kids are like you. smart kids. mature kids. kids that don’t play games at recess.

it doesn’t matter to them. these kids have magic.

magic probably isn’t real. they haven’t totally proven it either way.

the instructional books written about it are thinner, flimsier, and make your parents grimace. they have silly blue and purple graphics on the front, speckled with galaxies that don’t actually exist, people sitting cross-legged, glowing white numbers that are never mentioned in the books themselves, or digital art of white women with shoulder-length brown hair and flowers in their hands in a style that reminds you of ads at the doctor’s office. they’re filled with anecdotes about trips to the navajo desert. you stop reading these books.

magic isn’t real. but it’s interesting. and the idea had to come from somewhere. you stop reading the instructional books - your parents are visibly relieved - and you start reading histories. you learn about druids, about the oracle at delphi, about the origins of tarot and how astrology became astronomy and you skim through the visions of nostradamus. you read about the witch hunts. they hung them, burned them, drowned them, and god, people sucked. historians mourn for these poor midwives and medicine women who were killed for the crime of keeping to themselves and knowing too much.

but when you read about the made-up, fantastical things that people thought these women did, one specific detail crops up and sinks its teeth in your brain: the book. the witches wrote their names in the devil’s book.

you don’t just read about history, growing up. you read about math and the stars, too. you read about science, medicine, the history of both - they used to call real plants and herbs things like eye of newt, then macbeth goes up at the globe and suddenly it was a warning sign for women to list the ingredients in jars on their shelves. you apply what you learn. you make yourself salves and lotions. homemade candles and silly, sentimental good luck charms for your mom. that rune means torch, it stands for truth and knowledge. this one means gift.

you couldn’t say where it comes from, if someone put it there or if it put itself there. maybe it was always been there. maybe you’d only just noticed, like when you suddenly hear the washing machine after the buzzer goes off.  you want to think you left it there yourself, and you just didn’t remember doing it.

it doesn’t make a difference. the book is on your night stand. you haven’t read a word of it, but your place is saved with a red ribbon of a bookmark. you don’t open it right away, but you don’t get rid of it either. the book, on its part, is very patient with you. it sits by your alarm clock quietly. politely. content to wait. you don’t even look at it, an uninvited guest you can’t bring yourself to throw out in the cold.

a new family moves to town. no one knows much about them. they’re weird, and don’t get out much. it doesn’t bother you like it bothers some.

still, the book sits. you’re in high school. you’re not a kid anymore. you make friends, and mistakes, and you’re busy with assigned reading.

a new girl joins your class, the sheriff’s daughter. she’s quiet, too. you sit together sometimes, in a circle with your teenage friends around the lunch tables. she likes shakespeare. she almost gets hit by a car. she starts dating one of dr. cullen’s kids. she runs away to arizona and her partner brings her back with a broken arm. the other kids wonder if she had a mental breakdown, or is having one. they go to prom together. when you look up, a red-haired girl you’ve never seen before is watching them. they leave early, and she with them.

you go home. you don’t look at the book. a few days pass, and you do research, at the library and online, and you learn a little more about albinism, but nothing that explains how a red-haired girl could have red eyes. her eyes remind you of the cullens. how none of them are related, but they all have the same eyes. not red, something jessica calls hazel-gold-honey, but what has always looked to you like yellow. like a cat. or something else you’d find in the woods.

one thing leads to another. of course you open it.

you start at the first page. you don’t know what you were expecting - instructions, maybe? a prologue? an arcane curse? but it’s just a big, blank page with a name, and a little sprinkle of red. the next page is just the same, only a different name and a few less speckles of red. you start flipping through.

you thought it would be the names that caught your eye, and it’s interesting, the penmanship, the languages, the variation in formality - some of the names were preceded by titles, followed by epithets or dates, but one signature consisted of nothing but a small, black, lowercase ‘v’. but what really strikes you is the red. usually it’s a couple drops, but just as often it’s more, a puddle, a handprint, a sentence or drawing, an entire page soaked so thoroughly the page is stiff and wrinkled and warped.

you reach the bookmarked page. it’s blank. the page preceding you had been signed in glittery green gel pen, - ‘Kristen, de Lyon, 1993′ - and was sprinkled with a line of delicate dots from one corner to the next. you imagine a french girl sitting at a desk in her bedroom, slicing her hand with a kitchen knife. your parents are in the kitchen, though. you grab a pencil, then toss it aside and scrounge up a blue sharpie. you go downstairs, rummage around in a cabinet, pull out a mini sewing kit your parents had once used for emergency costume repair on halloween, and run back.

you sign ‘Angela Weber’ then steel yourself to prick your finger with a needle. just a few drops. there’s no goats, no strange men, no shadows or cackling laughter. you don’t feel any different. but then the blood sinks into the page and moves. you flip through the book again. pages and pages of red text overlaying names... centuries of secrets at your fingertips. 

you never meant to learn so much, you weren’t looking for magic or monsters, but it doesn’t feel like a deal with the devil. it just feels like turning to the next page, the red leaves smudges on your fingers but the letters don’t smear, so what does it matter?

eventually, the monsters will find you on their own but for now, you’re content to wait, keeping to yourself and knowing too much.

So I know this is not what people probably signed up for but I got an ask from @hottwilighttake that bit me with the drabble bug, and witch!angela is a part of the VBC au, so I thought I’d tag you just in case! If you’d prefer to be taken off the list, lmk, but otherwise thanks for your interest I love you all very much

TAGLIST: @alaska-blu @cmgmurphy @michaelalovesseaside @loudlyglorioustragedy @habblez-the-babblez @fiercehunter411 @snailcullen @shittytwilightaus @a-checkered-mate @imawednesdaygirl @twilight-mademegay @twibidriveby@the-bilight-saga @trashanddrivel @bog-vampire @maryaliceswan @bellaedwardcullenswan @gaybeauswan @maryalicebrandon @orange-twilight @vampireguarddogs @thechangingcolourswithinthewoods @kerrym1516 @bitchrosalie @bellatops @alicemcullen @once-and-future-thot @rosalies-hale @everydayimwhining @marshmellowfromhell @emmettmccartycullen @bisexualstonerbella @softbutchbella @marishasray @redeyerenaissance @cullen-trash @emivipers @superlamesaucebro @bellasdogpainting @persephonequeenofthedead @whomthefyck @recovered-emo @the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis @vanishshepard @scarecrowmax

#twilight #twilight saga #twilight renaissance #angela weber #witch!angela #bilight's bs #bilight's aus #bilight's headcanons #bilight's asks #bilight writes

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witch!angela au ✨ for the headcanon ask

I have no idea what specific headcanon ask this is for so I’m just going to humbly offer you this: in my head (and in my au) witch!angela is not a hp kinda witch. twilight makes it clear that paranormal powers like alice’s exist in normal everyday humans, even if it is, as is typical of the series, criminally underused. this is not what angela has. being a witch isn’t the same as having powers. it’s a combination of what contemporary witch rituals look like with awful outdated historic depictions. deal with the devil stuff - only it’s not like, the devil... or at least angela is pretty sure it’s not.

#angela weber #witch!angela #witch angela #twilight saga #twilight #twilight renaissance #bilight's bs #bilight's aus #bilight's headcanons #bilight's asks #bilight talks #bilight interacts #vbc au #linking to the drabble this inspired..... hope that makes up for this being so late! #i really appreciated your asks they're always such fun topics <3

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Okay I just submitted a different ask but after realising you're a twilight blog with good opinions I have another one: do you know of any sources (fanfic or meta posts idc) that basically just rewrite twilight or propose ideas of how to do so? Like keep the world and characters but make them realistic and also not, ya know, horribly racist and all

@phil-dwyer-stan-account @bellasredchevy @teamjacobthot @leahclearwaterdefensesquad @effervescent-emmett @anteroom-of-death@emmettmccartycullen @edwardsvirginity @edwardbottoms @inthemiddleofmymidnight @bellaskhakis @cullen-collective @cullen-trash @howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen @kaquiche @volturialice @vampireguarddogs @rose-lily-hale @breakingisabella 

These are some of the pillars of my Twilight community experience, to name a few. Some are established and others are hidden gems, some are active every day and some are on a hiatus, but they’re all fantastic!

I do actually have a little notebook around here somewhere with even more of my favorite Twilight mutuals/followers/following... because one point I was planning to do an appreciation post but school got in the way. Anyways, most of these guys have been here doing the lord’s work since the beginning, and I love them!

#bilight's bs #bilight interacts #bilight's asks #twilight #bilight talks #bilight recs

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I would just like to tell you I arrived to your blog via the twilight ass eating post. Just feel the need to remind you that it exists and now haunts me. 😔😂

Memories... The inception of the twilight renaissance... only the ogs remember the ass eating post

#bilight's bs #bilight talks #bilight interacts #bilight's asks #ty for the reminder #ilysm for this

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did you see that rachelle came out as bi on instagram!!

I DID SEE ANON. I HOPE YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSINGLY LONG I SHRIEKED TO MY BEST FRIEND ABOUT IT ON THAT AUSPICIOUS DAY... anon wherever you are, the fact you thought of me when you saw that... I love you this is the intimacy of being known <3

#sorry it's been literal months..... i'm a bad tumblrina ig </3 #rachelle lefevre #bilight's bs #bilight talks #bilight interacts #bilight gets personal #bilight's asks

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Bitttttch ur mind???? Unparalleled! Rev 2220 !!! My fave Puscifer song. Do it. Live for me

girl.... im so happy another puscifer fan..... but i cannot remember what this is about its all my fault this has probably been in my ask for eternity.... anyway ily and whenever i see david bruhl i think of you <3

#bilight talks #bilight's bs #bilight interacts #bilight's asks #bilight gets personal #forgive me i have been without a computer for so long #put me in the bad mutual dunce cap in the corner fsdsdfgag

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(leahclearwaterdefensesquad) happy valentines day 💞💜💙

OH MY GOD KATE IM SO SORRY IM GONNA SCREAM

#im screaming........ i just left you on read but i didnt even know...... #anyway hi ily i swear happy...... september...... don look at me.... #bilight's bs #bilight talks #bilight interacts #bilight's asks #put me in the bad mutual dunce cap in the corner fsdsdfgag

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hey hey two ships ask! leah/victoria vs. benjamin/jacob?

oh god i lost the ask meme for this... also hi anon i know his will probably be lost o the void but ily come back to me.... if it’s just about which i prefer its gotta be leahtoria bc that’s my baby... those are my girls.... but I’m also gonna make my own ship meme bc this is my house, my rules <3 here are some of the differences I picture between the two!

So originally I was going to cover a few different topics w less detailed comparisons, but I started w Music, and I guess I had more thoughts about that than I thought bc projection <3 so I’m gonna be merciful and keep it to one difference ig lol

At first, everything Victoria knows about music comes from Edythe and Emmett, so Leah generally controls the aux. Leah’s got some competing influences on her music taste, between Seattle grunge, lilith fair, queer indie/r&b, and more mainstream hip-hop/dance. She really likes Arlo Parks, Fiona Apple, Soundgarden, Jacob Banks, WILLOW, Alice in Chains, etc... Once Victoria starts expanding her own library, she finds herself in super niche places. She likes the coherency of film soundtracks, she finds Vocaloids and other synthesized voices soothing, and she often scrounges up folk/pub/sailor songs that remind her of home, but she’s still playing around with it.

Benjamin loves his pop girlies, half-ironically, but he also likes Egyptian and some west European hip-hop. He adores Afroto, and Janelle Monae in particular. If you ask him about his music taste, Jacob will always just say, “I like rock.” When he says this, he’s thinking of bands like Nirvana, Garbage, and also like, Stevie Nicks and Jimi Hendrix. One of Jacob’s sisters was hugely into the emo scene for a while, so that rubbed off on him so he does include awful but fun early 2000s rock - think Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, etc. When they listen together, they compromise with The Clash, Queen, MERO... But honestly, they prefer talking when they’re together, so it’s not something they think much about.

Also, at some point when both couples are hanging out on the reservation, I think Benjamin gets Leah super into Tamino... We love projection here. <3

Anyway feel free to ask me more today, since I’ll actually be able to see asks I’m sent for once lmao

#twilight #twilight saga #jacob black #leah clearwater #wolf pack #vbc au #Victoria Sutherland #victoria twilight #benjamin twilight #benjamin x jacob #leah x victoria #leahtoria #benjacob #bilight's headcanons #bilight's aus #bilight's bs #bilight talks #bilight interacts #bilight's asks

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Why call it bi light

Because I’m rubbing my grubby little hands all over canon and leaving bisexual residue on everything I touch

#bilight's bs #bilight's asks #bilight interacts #i'm not offended or trying to be mean btw #just honest and to the point lol

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Do you think vampires, with their heightened senses, are more susceptible to pepper spray? Like, I was thinking about how Bella has a can and just wished for Edward to scare her one day and she whips it out on him and he doesn't expect it and is just...he can't even really cry to get it out of his eyes!

I have no idea! I would assume whether it would be painful would depend on whether their senses are still capable of being affected with pain by certain irritants. I can't recall anything similar with touch, so I'd base the effectiveness off of their olfactory senses.

We know their sense of smell is super heightened when it comes to prey/blood/other supernatural beings, but I can't remember if it's ever established whether they're able to detect smells from things like plants or normal food the same way. I think it was and they do, but I also think Smeyer might've said that food tastes like nothing to them at some point? And sense of taste and of smell are really tied together.

Based on that, I'd say within Twilight canon, that pepper spray would have a very significant effect on vampire olfactory senses, but little to no physically irritating effect on their 'flesh'. It could cloud their vision but not incapacitate them, at least not through pain. They'd have to wash out the substance with an external source of water, but other than that, it would probably just leave them nose-blind for a few hours, maybe even a few days depending on the actual contents.

However I in no way respect Smeyer's word of law, so for me personally I'd mix in some WWDITS rules. According to Mr. Waititi and Mr. Clemmons, vampires, as well as having heightened smell, can taste normal food, but they cannot subsist on it because eating induces immediate and extremely violent vomiting. I would assume as this is any body's way of rejecting poisons, that normal plant, spice, dairy, meat, and grain-based food or the nutrients contained within are somehow toxic to vampires. (This jives with the idea of vampirism being a sort of medical condition that I love!) Again, this is WWDITS rules, not Twilight, but I'm blending the two a bit for my own pleasure.

Using these rules, not only could Edward be painfully blinded, both in his eyes and his nose, but he may end up literally sick! So that's fun!

#bilight's bs #twilight #twilight saga #edward cullen #vampires #wwdits #bilight's headcanon #bilight talks #bilight interacts #bilight's headcanons #bilight's asks #bilight's worldbuilding #that's gonna be a tag now i love that shit

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Ilysm and I understand! Life is hard and sometimes tumblr isn't it. Glad to have you back

Aw, ty! I really missed you and everyone, and while I may have to disappear once in awhile again for school reasons, I fully intend to at least drop in more often, and hopefully write more! Ily2 <3

#bilight's asks #bilight talks #bilight interacts #bilight's bs #bilight gets personal

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i wanna talk to u so bad like normally but i feel like the phantom of the opera taking off my mask or something

i can tell you right now that the worst case scenario is that we chat for a bit and then the chemistry fizzles out and we continue being chill tumblr acquaintances, and best case scenario is that everything goes great and eventually uhhh idk we fall in love live together and have cats and talk about gay monsters while we make breakfast? and most likely split the difference!

no pressure either way btw if u dont feel comfortable, but you’re great and i’d be SO down to hang out now that i can talk to people like a person fhfhajhfs

#bilight's bs #bilight's not on theme #bilight interacts #bilight gets personal #bilight's asks #i'm not scary and also my mom will be calling me to dinner soon so if i dont respond in the next hour or so it may well be bc of that!!!

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james

oh let's do this rn let's do this rn — honestly this task is so daunting because his entire character is just. begging to be ripped apart.

let's dig into the meat of it! he is, canonically, the most average, boring lookin vamp we ever seen because of what an ugly ass mf he was as a human. and that's really what it is isnt it? this mf is BORING, because hes ugly and angry and has nothing going for him. Literally! the only shit he can do to deal w it, canonically, is hunt down every other cooler, hotter, straight up better vampire out there and destroy them because there is no other way that he can even try to measure up.

his bio says he didnt care he was ugly and he only cared about winning but lbr hes mad, his whole tracker schtick is just the dumbest most violent toxic masculinity compensation crusade ever put to paper. he was changed by some french fucker as a JOKE and his response was to BE a joke by literally making his entire identity revolve around having one time lost a hunting contest to the vampire that changed him. congrats u played urself shitass!

and oh my god, the shit he pulled on Victoria? u know what this creepy mf did right? u know how they met right? my wife Victoria was literally LITERALLY minding her own business, not bothering nobody, LITERALLY avoiding the entirety of vampire kind because she does not WANT the stress, and he cant even leave well enough alone — cause nothing says skill and capability like targeting the vampire equivalent of an agoraphobe w PTSD and no other friends or family am i right? course surprise surprise her power is infinitely superior (just as she is in every way) but oh he cant just move on. no hes gotta do something shitty and fucked up right. so he more or less harrasses her about helping him until she goes along with it. an incel by any other name

to reiterate one of his most forgotten offenses, he had to STALK and TRAP a woman into willingly spending time with him. should I go on about how gross that is or about how pathetic?? I cant decide!

and oh haha you know what's funny? you know how vampires all have a singer? you know how this stupid fuck's gift is literally tracking? well guess who found his singer human but FAILED to fuckin hunt her down before she was changed? literally who even knows when he succeeded at anything because the only thing noteworthy about him is who escapes/eludes him. we really do have to take it at smeyer's word that he's good at what he does cause he just fails every time it matters. what a fucking LOSER

and... come on. we all seen/read twilight. if it wasnt clear before that his power was tracking and not strategy, or tactics, or idk common damn sense! this extra son of a bitch w his stupid ass dramatics is really putting his effort into going after a human for the first time since the roaring 20s and he gets torn to death and burned in a ballet studio in arizona. wtf do I even do w that. he has an immortal unkillable gf who coulda been idk utilized somehow but instead he does a crank call and busts out the home videos and rightfully gets his head yeeted for it. I mean ya he almost got away w it too if it weren't for those meddlin kids, but it's pretty clear its cause. smeyer said. isnt that sad? cant even attribute his almost victory to him!

and what sort of poetic justice is it that he spent his entire time as a human and as a vampire obsessed with being known for winning and killing, and the one thing we all remember him for is how he failed and how he was killed? I'm caCKLING

hes a fragile male ego w findmyphone powers. his only redeeming quality is his proximity to his far superior gf and his much more interesting token black friend.

the stupidity? unprecedented. the ugliness? unmatched. the basicness? unparalleled. really this ask is sort of redundant because theres no need to further roast when his official twilight saga wikia bio already exists

#james witherdale #twilight #twilight saga #bilight's bs #twilight memes #twilight meme #twilight reneissance #victoria sutherland #twilight james #james twilight #laurent de ravin #alice cullen #bella swan #bilight's memes #bilight interacts #bilight's asks #bilight talks

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Pronouns

They/them, he/him, she/her are all fine, no preference 👌

#bilight's not on theme #bilight's bs #bilight's asks #bilight gets personal #bilight has got work in 20 minutes so i gotta go but i should pin this maybe when i get off #if i can figure out how ; #bilight interacts #also playing with ey/em lately who knows