I was the god of tax, rent and bills but I hated it so much because people kept bothering me even when I was in the bathroom. Eventually I up and bailed and proceeded to live in a small house in the middle of a forest to get away from everybody.

He’s offering $2k PER ADULT not per household and $1k for everyone below 18

Be Excellent to each other 🤘🙌🤘

“I'm a cop pretending to be a drug dealer. I ain't nothing but a drug dealer pretending to be a cop.”

Laurence Fishburne in Deep Cover (Bill Duke, 1992)

is he wrong though

They are too busy saving corporations 🤷🏾‍♀️🙄

Ridiculous

PLEASE DON’T SCROLL PAST THIS!!!

It’s that time of the year again!!!

Emergency Commissions to save my skin and help me maybe not end up on the street time that is. In case you’ve missed any of my other emergency commission posts let me introduce myself:

I’m Rie, a 23-year-old UK based artist in a bit of a pickle. It all ties back to when a former housemate stole money from me and lied about paying bills so I had to cover everything and lost all of my money across 2 months. I still haven’t recovered from this but you get the gist from that short paragraph.

So to put shortly, summer has arrived and as such I have no more student support money coming in. I am actively searching for a job and so is my boyfriend but finding one is hard. Mostly because most employees would rather hire a teen so they can pay them less than a 20 something-year-old that would require the actual minimum wage.

I have very little money, and in 3 days I will have none (as my rent is coming up) as in not even food money will be left and I have 2 mouths and a cat to feed.

Unfortunately, as an immigrant, I can’t apply for benefits to tie me over. Not without a doctors note saying I’m unfit for work (which I very much am thanks to horrendous mental health but that's beside the point). So what I’m asking is for the good people of Tumblr to lend me a hand. If you cant spare money for commissions? Please share. I really need this as I will have to cover food, bills and my boyfriend's medicine (which is quite pricey and needs to be bought weekly), at least for the next few weeks.

Aside from the commissions, I have listed above I also do:

Animal paintings $20

Pixel art $10-$50 (depending on complexity and size)

and Landscape $20 and up (again depending on the size and complexity)

My PayPal e-mail is bjbbluckyclover@gmail.com

I accept tips and donations but I am very much willing and ready to work for my money. Please share and PM me for any commissions or concerns!

New bills introduced by neural network

Between 2009 and 2017, approximately 18,458 unique bills were introduced to the legislature of Massachusetts (out of 33,201 total). I know this because Dru Tarr, a legislative aide at the Massachusetts House of Representatives, very kindly compiled the publicly available list of bills into a neural network-digestible format.

A neural network is a kind of computer program I train to imitate human data, usually to humorous effect. It looks at examples and then learns to generate more like them (at least, that’s the idea). So, I gave the neural network this set of bills.

It did a decent job of generating entirely plausible bills, mashing together probable buzzwords to create new bills like:

An Act Relative To Equal Access To Student Loan Assistance. An Act Relative To Electric Tolls An Act Relative To The Safety Of Consumer Choice In The Commonwealth An Act Relative To The Appointment Of Permittement In The Commonwealth.

Some generated bills, however, were more mysterious.

An Act To Combat Gas In The Town Of Nantucket An Act To Promote Uniformity In Use Of Elevators An Act Relative To Hamester Registration An Act Providing Additional License Floog Loss An Act To Provide Questions Insurance Day An Act Preserving The Disclosure Of Dental Hygienist Communities An Act Establishing The Privacy of Elections In The Town Of War Wellwell An Act Further Regulating Dog Trassifiers An Act Relative To The Expansion Of The Division Of Bankrubs In The City Of Quincy An Act To Include Natural Rights For Certain Other Rebarement In Massachusetts An Act Relative To Mitted Honing In A Certain Park Land In The Commonwealth An Act Relative To The Retirement Allowance Of Bonpomplaints. An Act To Reduce The Financing And Preventing The Public Employee Death Board. An Act Relative To The Mandatory Jumbing Boy An Act Relative To The Inspection Of Children In The Commonwealth An Act Relative To The Secure Exposure Of The Sales Of Aliens An Act Relative To The Sale Of The City Of Marimum As The Town Of Boston

Some just sound like bad ideas:

An Act Designating A Temporary Port Authority To The Death Of The Town Of Nantucket An Act To Reduce Transparency In The Status Of The Board Of Selectmen In The City Of Boston An Act Relative To Capping Of The Town Of Rundon To Acquire Access To New Electric Design Court

Another thing the neural network had to learn to do was generate names for humans. This is because of a frankly dystopian practice where one of the few ways for public employees with long illnesses to get sick leave is for the legislature to pass an honest-to-goodness bill allowing their coworkers to donate their own sick time.  There are a lot of these bills, and they read something like: 

An Act Establishing A Sick Leave Bank For Shonn Lear, An Employee Of The Department Of Yearoon

(The above bill was one of the neural net’s creations.) I guess there weren’t quite enough examples for it to totally get the hang of inventing imaginary employees. Here are some things it thinks are plausible human names:

Maribeen E. Badzation Lower Railer Dicole Certain A. Sonitina William H. Drug Overdose Doowingal Animal Sgeoks Michael A. Tum Trian Water Mart Lending Heerby M. Depositoonland

Since the legislature sees a lot of these, the neural net also generated some names relating to alcohol and marijuana. The alcohol ones in particular are amusing because the neural net’s attempt to reproduce the convoluted wording of your average alcohol permit bill made it sound as if it might have invented them under the influence. I won’t print them here, but become a supporter of AI Weirdness and you’ll get them as bonus content.

Hey all. With Eli as the only one working right now our expenses are hard for us to meet. I am working on figuring out what exactly is going on with my health so that I can get a job as well but in the mean time we need all the help we can get. We really need about 500 for these next two weeks

V£nmo: @acarpenter02

Ca$h@pp: @alcarpenter02

P@yPal: @alexc94

Need help paying bills and vet costs

More information below↓

Cashapp: $amethystpisces

Venmo: @amethystbrooke1991

Paypal: paypal.me/3dg3ydaddies

March 9, 2020

July 17th, 1:53pm

I'm totally broke. The larder is desperately bare and I'm I need to pay phone and internet before they are interupped this coming week.

Etsy is 60% off.

PayPal

havekatart@gmail.com

Venmo

Kate-Havekost

Etsy

https://www.etsy.com/shop/KateHavekostFineArt