PLEASE DON’T SCROLL PAST THIS!!!
It’s that time of the year again!!!
Emergency Commissions to save my skin and help me maybe not end up on the street time that is. In case you’ve missed any of my other emergency commission posts let me introduce myself:
I’m Rie, a 23-year-old UK based artist in a bit of a pickle. It all ties back to when a former housemate stole money from me and lied about paying bills so I had to cover everything and lost all of my money across 2 months. I still haven’t recovered from this but you get the gist from that short paragraph.
So to put shortly, summer has arrived and as such I have no more student support money coming in. I am actively searching for a job and so is my boyfriend but finding one is hard. Mostly because most employees would rather hire a teen so they can pay them less than a 20 something-year-old that would require the actual minimum wage.
I have very little money, and in 3 days I will have none (as my rent is coming up) as in not even food money will be left and I have 2 mouths and a cat to feed.
Unfortunately, as an immigrant, I can’t apply for benefits to tie me over. Not without a doctors note saying I’m unfit for work (which I very much am thanks to horrendous mental health but that's beside the point). So what I’m asking is for the good people of Tumblr to lend me a hand. If you cant spare money for commissions? Please share. I really need this as I will have to cover food, bills and my boyfriend's medicine (which is quite pricey and needs to be bought weekly), at least for the next few weeks.
Aside from the commissions, I have listed above I also do:
Animal paintings $20
Pixel art $10-$50 (depending on complexity and size)
and Landscape $20 and up (again depending on the size and complexity)
My PayPal e-mail is firstname.lastname@example.org
I accept tips and donations but I am very much willing and ready to work for my money. Please share and PM me for any commissions or concerns!
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New bills introduced by neural network
Between 2009 and 2017, approximately 18,458 unique bills were introduced to the legislature of Massachusetts (out of 33,201 total). I know this because Dru Tarr, a legislative aide at the Massachusetts House of Representatives, very kindly compiled the publicly available list of bills into a neural network-digestible format.
A neural network is a kind of computer program I train to imitate human data, usually to humorous effect. It looks at examples and then learns to generate more like them (at least, that’s the idea). So, I gave the neural network this set of bills.
It did a decent job of generating entirely plausible bills, mashing together probable buzzwords to create new bills like:
An Act Relative To Equal Access To Student Loan Assistance.
An Act Relative To Electric Tolls
An Act Relative To The Safety Of Consumer Choice In The Commonwealth
An Act Relative To The Appointment Of Permittement In The Commonwealth.
Some generated bills, however, were more mysterious.
An Act To Combat Gas In The Town Of Nantucket
An Act To Promote Uniformity In Use Of Elevators
An Act Relative To Hamester Registration
An Act Providing Additional License Floog Loss
An Act To Provide Questions Insurance Day
An Act Preserving The Disclosure Of Dental Hygienist Communities
An Act Establishing The Privacy of Elections In The Town Of War Wellwell
An Act Further Regulating Dog Trassifiers
An Act Relative To The Expansion Of The Division Of Bankrubs In The City Of Quincy
An Act To Include Natural Rights For Certain Other Rebarement In Massachusetts
An Act Relative To Mitted Honing In A Certain Park Land In The Commonwealth
An Act Relative To The Retirement Allowance Of Bonpomplaints.
An Act To Reduce The Financing And Preventing The Public Employee Death Board.
An Act Relative To The Mandatory Jumbing Boy
An Act Relative To The Inspection Of Children In The Commonwealth
An Act Relative To The Secure Exposure Of The Sales Of Aliens
An Act Relative To The Sale Of The City Of Marimum As The Town Of Boston
Some just sound like bad ideas:
An Act Designating A Temporary Port Authority To The Death Of The Town Of Nantucket
An Act To Reduce Transparency In The Status Of The Board Of Selectmen In The City Of Boston
An Act Relative To Capping Of The Town Of Rundon To Acquire Access To New Electric Design Court
Another thing the neural network had to learn to do was generate names for humans. This is because of a frankly dystopian practice where one of the few ways for public employees with long illnesses to get sick leave is for the legislature to pass an honest-to-goodness bill allowing their coworkers to donate their own sick time. There are a lot of these bills, and they read something like:
An Act Establishing A Sick Leave Bank For Shonn Lear, An Employee Of The Department Of Yearoon
(The above bill was one of the neural net’s creations.) I guess there weren’t quite enough examples for it to totally get the hang of inventing imaginary employees. Here are some things it thinks are plausible human names:
Maribeen E. Badzation
Dicole Certain A. Sonitina
William H. Drug Overdose Doowingal
Michael A. Tum Trian Water
Heerby M. Depositoonland
Since the legislature sees a lot of these, the neural net also generated some names relating to alcohol and marijuana. The alcohol ones in particular are amusing because the neural net’s attempt to reproduce the convoluted wording of your average alcohol permit bill made it sound as if it might have invented them under the influence. I won’t print them here, but become a supporter of AI Weirdness and you’ll get them as bonus content.
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