#bing/chase/the googles
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What I think your favorite ego says about you!
Dark: You are one of two things: you are cool, calm, and collective or, batshit wild. Regardless of which, when you snap, YOU SNAP. Whoever pissed you off better pray to the old gods because the new one ain't picking up his phone. You either seem like you have your shit together, or you really do. There is no in-between.
Anti: Relax? Who is she? Who are eccentric from the start. You are quiet at first, making people think you are shy and just have to warm up to them, when in reality, you are biding your time. Watching your surroundings to see how everyone ticks, and then you strike. Violence is not always your attack, you can also deal out verbal attacks as well. Your RBF is on point.
Wilford: You are that person who is cheerful to hide your trauma. Sorry, but we can still see it. You can't hide a body behind a glass wall. You will smile and give homemade treats and remember everyone's birthday, but everyone once in a while, you will say something to cause everyone's concern to go to an 11. High ADHD levels.
Jackie: You are that one person that is motivated beyond belief. You will wear yourself out with over positivity and helping others and then break down in a public restroom. Crying from stress is a call for attention, even in an empty room (false, cry if you need too) can't drink coffee because it sends your hyperness through the roof and gives you a headache.
Damien: You are the mom friend of the group, you either have snack pouches and juice, or a way to reprimand your friends. You are shy around confrontation, but always quick to come up with a solution to a problem. You wouldn't share homework answered, but would help with the homework. You are the designated driver.
Chase: things you cry at: cat videos, cute kid videos, slice of life anime, cute finales of comedies. You have some sort of an addiction. Coffee, alcohol, cleanliness, art, your hobby, collecting hobbies. Something to keep your hand busy is always needed, helps tame the voices. Your therapist friend begs you to go to therapy, but who can afford it? Definitely not you, and besides, you aren't even that serious. Thinking about death is normal, right? Right?!
Celine: you are the wine aunt. Weather that is literal or towards your friends, that is your title and you where it with pride. Might be some sort of witch. You can become serious quickly, you go from go lucky to problem solver 1-100 real fast. You are always available, even if you're not happy about it. You listen to problems and come up with half good answers. Sorry to say, but arson is not always the answer.
Schneep: you are the therapist friend, and you need a therapist. Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Must have perfect grades, perfect attendance, perfect ingernal. Coffee is not breakfast, nor is it good to drink at 3 in the afternoon. Eat some real food, please, granola bars are not going to get you through the day.
Actor: in some way, shape, or form, you are a profectionist. People may get upset about the way things must line up, if your drink is one inch higher than expected, everything is ruined. Everything must be perfect, or it's terrible. You either love art, or an artist yourself who hates your art. When someone tells you you are a profectionist, you lash out in anger. Take a nap, might do you good.
JJ: silent but deadly. Words are very rarely exchanged with those outside your friend group. When someone asks you what you are reading, you lift up your book to show the title and continue to read. You made your own lunches at school. If someone crosses you, you will be passive aggressive about it. Dresses formal for every occasion.
Google: you have anger issues, eldest sibling , reliable one? When someone needs advice, you are the first to go to. You regularly go to those warehouses to destroy things. You don't work well with others, prefer to work alone than In a group. Effortlessly get A's on tests.
Marvin: you are either gay, or the gayest straight person. If there's no glitter, you don't want it. You're temper is fiery, but your significant other wouldn't have you any other way. You have enemies, and your friends are worried about that. You have either mental or physical scars and are self conscious about them. Your scars tell your story, don't be embarrassed. You live in the library and write papers that aren't necessary.
Bing: your favorite Ninja turtle was Mikey. Love Bill and Ted. The life of the party, always trying to be the cool guy. You fail at it, but you don't let that slow you down. You once tried to do something reckless, failed, and said that you'll practice until you do it. You succeed. You do anything you put your mind to. Useless facts, no, no one knew that otters hold hands while sleeping to not drift away, but thank you for sharing. Orange crush is your favorite drink.
Tell me how accurate I am!
#jacksepticeye#jse egos#jacksepticeye egos#markiplier egos#markiplier#chase brody#marvin the magnificent#jackieboy man#Antisepticeye#Jamesone Jackson#henrik von schneeplestein#Darkiplier#wilford warfstache#Damian#Celine#Actor#Google#Bing#why did i make this at thsi ungodly hour
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google :)
love u goog <3
#to explain the dotted squares: Why Are You A Redhead When You Are Bing's Clone.#and the other is like. lets get one thing straight i love goog to death everything in season 2? wouldnt change a damn thing#but i feel like the susan thing was resolved too quickly. and his relationship with mac has gone. underaddressed.#goog was raised by dr. order and i love that he defects right away when shown a first glimmer of something more meaningful#it works well to demonstrate the point that kindness is what we're. as people. most naturally drawn to when circumstance allows for it#but i think how easy it ultimately comes to him even when that's challenged by his personal hurt later kinda. cheapens it a bit?#kindness is easy but its also very hard sometimes when we are faced with the desire or need to protect ourselves from being hurt#and susan letting goog get his catharsis from attacking her even though it wasnt Her her that hurt him#is something i feel should've left him feeling a bit more. conflicted a bit longer. the resolution was sweet but not fully earned imo?#and then theres mac. your little brother almost kills you in cold blood chasing the same meaningless victory you were raised to achieve#and then just. befriends your platonic partner's little sister and becomes part of the family while changing very little of his outlook#just changing who he answers to because he got his ass kicked. and you're just supposed to feel fucking NORMAL about that???????#idk just think google should get to bite people and be dysfunctional a little more he was raised by doctor order hes not even two years old#he's a shonen protagonist with anxiety but the anxiety doesn't even really interfere meaningfully with anything narratively best i remember#machi has the excuse of being baby to explain why he's so innocent and even he's distinctly self-centered at times#google is a grown man and chooses kindness every day after he got out of there#and that rules. but id like to see him struggle with it just a LIL more#a bit too much of a perfect victim after he gets out for my taste. i had a similar problem with adora in she-ra#lots of not having a frame of reference for a different normal than theirs but always choosing the Right™ thing to do the first time anyway#but thats a mild 'show dont tell'-y writing gripe#its been a good bit since i watched the eps referenced so my feelings might change when i get to them in my rewatch#i simply think meeting a version of your shitty mom that's largely the same but not shitty should make you feel. a lot of different ways#and we didnt really get to see goog wrestle with that after finding out susan wasnt Really her and i think thats kind of a shame#and i dont remember if mac and goog have even shared any screentime after that time Mac Injured Him Terribly with plus ultra
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Double penetration with Google/Chase/Bing mayhaps?? —🌵
Okay!
.
.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck.." Chase moaned, feeling stuffed as Google finally sheathed his prick in with Bings'. The two druids couldn't help but moan at the tight sensation it brought to the two. "Oh, god- move, please.." The male pleaded.
Bing was the first one two move, drawing out his cock before pushing in, letting Google repeat the same action in a pattern that left the smaller sobbing.
Chase cried out, his toes curling and fist clenching as he leaned back against the older droid. The smaller could feel each movement between the two and the intense simulation his prostate was receiving left him a quivering mess between the two droids.
"G-Googs.. Bingy!" Chase moaned, feeling their bodies growing flush against his chest and back. Now pinned between the two as he felt the pace quicken, leaving Chase to wail in pleasure.
.
.
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OR OR OR OR
soft!jason with reader with a chronic pain flare up??? (NOT self indulgent... 0vo)
Hopefully this puts a smile on your face!
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Time written - 12:20 a.m
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It would be a huge lie if Jason didn’t agree to the question of him going into huge research over your chronic pain. Stacks of books tucked neatly into shelves, each page worn and weathered with annotations filling each page. Multiple corners creased with neon tabs to note striking information.
Both his Google and Bing history littered with bookmarked tabs on how to deal with the pain on the heaviest of days, and how to cope when the unintentional inevitable happens.
For a man known for brawn first before brain, said in confidence via the eldest Wayne brother, Jason’s way of showing you love was acts of loving service. Whatever he could possibly do to make these flare ups just a bit more bearable.
How he’d know you were suffering first thing in the morning was your complete lack of movement. You always clung to him in some sort of way in your sleep, but raising your wrist in a desperate attempt to cover your trembling shoulders with a blanket seemed impossible. So a warm, soothing hand was more than happy to do it for you.
Jason would pepper your neck in kisses after murmuring a soft morning, then asking you a simple question: “One through ten, sweetheart?”
To him, anything higher than a three meant immediate care and aid.
Vitamins were first before breakfast, only being out of bed and out of sight long enough for him to prepare something easy for you to eat. Last thing you needed was an upset tummy due to taking pain meds on an empty stomach.
He’d become your personal heater for the next few hours, helping you change into one of your favorite shirts from his wardrobe before securely spooning you in bed, or on the couch. Arms gently cradling along your waist, fingers inches away from a heating pad’s settings along your most agonizing spots.
Whatever you wanted or needed, Jason wouldn’t mind to get:
Pain medication at the doctor’s specified dosage hour? Right after a small snack.
Heating pad not hot enough? Jason will guide his palm along the pad to gently press it onto the aching area, making sure it reached every desired nerve and muscle.
Everything tolerable enough to eat food without feeling like you’ll get sick from the pain? Jason has no issue in preparing or ordering in something he knows you’ll enjoy. He will, however, limit how much you eat. Just in case you get sick.
It’s a little challenging at times for Jason to carry you during the worst of it, as the slightest bend in your afflicted limbs can make it worse. Though sometimes, you despised laying so still for so incredibly long, feeling like a withered leaf in the sheets. Jason never pushed you, and while he wasn’t a fan of you pushing yourself, if you pushed that hard just to get a damn bath, he just had to comply.
“Just a little more,” Jason guides you with loving encouragement, allowing you to grasp along his forearms as tightly as you needed. You were haunched over, unable to fully stand at the expense of searing hot knives jamming deep into your gut, into various joints, and you couldn’t do a thing to make it go away.
“You wanna go back to bed?” Jason questions, concern spilling throughout his soft tone. You only muster the courage to shake your head before dragging your foot against the cold floor, determined to chase the promise of hot water in a confined space.
He sighs before gently reinforcing his hold on you. “Alright. Come on. My little babushka is so close to the door.”
Of course he’d make a joke here and there. Whatever it took to stoke the embers of amusement in your body.
The success of reaching the bathroom came at a cost; an agonizing cost.
An overwhelming mix of pure relief and heavy regret resorted you to tears the moment you catch a break, sitting down on a closed toilet while Jason filled the tub with hot water.
“What’s the matter, baby?” Jason cradled your hands in his, fingers damp after doing a temperature check. “You made it. It’s almost full, an’ it’s gonna feel incredible.”
“It hurts,” you freely sob, tears rippling down your flushed cheeks. “I can’t, Jason. It hurts so much.”
I can’t take it. That’s what you meant to say, that’s what Jason understands as he gazed upon you with heavily sympathetic eyes.
“I know baby, I know.” Jason cooes, rubbing his thumb along the back of your thumb before lowering his head, pressing a kiss onto your cradled hands. “But you did so good today. You toughed through it, I’m so proud of you.”
Not an hour would go by where Jason wouldn’t leave you alone, letting you rely on him for anything you needed. Which also meant he’d be your shoulder to lean on inside a scalding hot bath.
“I’d imagine this must be what lobsters would feel like,” Jason chuckles from behind you, letting your tender body settle back against his chest, your shoulders nearly submerged in warm, CBD infused bath salt waters.
“Think I’ll turn red like one after this?” Jason keeps the conversation going as his hands work along the areas of your body that needed the most attention. Your upper shoulders, your abdomen, your knees and ankles, along your outer thighs. Wherever he could, he’d work on with careful and gentle hands, watching your face contort as his efforts work to ease the debilitating tension.
After an evening of such treatments, another task Jason found the most … satisfying to help you with was skincare. You’d sit on the toilet again, dressed in fresh clothes which consisted of another borrowed shirt of his, skin moisturized with towel dried hair.
Your body felt more settled than before, allowing you to keep food down better and sit up a little more properly, with less of a slouch. Your eyes remained closed, a tickle of a smile growing on your lips as your boyfriend’s calloused fingers massaged calendula cream over your cheeks.
“What?” Jason spoke up, forming a smile of his own. “What’s with that look, pretty girl?”
“Nothing,” you say. You could’ve brought up how you joke about men and their fourteen in one products, but pure sentimentality got in the way of any attempt at humor.
“Uhuh,” Jason responds, gently tilting your head up with a finger under your chin. “Did I miss a step in your complex routine?”
“No. Just really appreciate you.”
Jason’s heart melts, the blooming fire bringing a warmth to his smile. He’s just doing his job is all. It’s the least he could do for the one that reassures him that he’s striving towards being a better person. A better man, one you deserve.
“Making me blush, princess.” Jason sets all your products back where they belong and begins the process of bringing you back to bed.
You woke up in this bed in total agony, only to sink back into its soft, cozy sheets and tear dried pillows in better shape than before. The pain wasn’t completely gone, it never fully would be, the stark reminder of your personal heater trailing little circles along your thighs as you slept would always try his attempt to say otherwise.
Vigilance never really dies, signified by every kiss laid across your forehead.
#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd x fem!reader#dc jason todd#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x#jason todd gotham knights#jason todd dc#I don’t have these problems and I’m sorry you suffer from it!#hopefully this little Drabble make you smile
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CHAPTER ONE IS OUT BABY!!!
I’M TAGGING EVERYONE WHOS IN THIS FURST CHAPTER
@the-real-google
@totally-bing
@important-question-anon
@duothelingo
@the-one-and-only-duckduckgo
It’s a short chapter but it was very fun to write
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➶ 𝑹𝑰𝑶𝑻 & 𝑫𝑨𝒁𝑬, time to play a 𝒈𝒂𝒎𝒆...
nice to see you heathens doing well and already keeping us entertained with your spilled ink, we're here to put you on the edge of your seat so grab your popcorn and a drink. tonight, just like in our original iteration, it's all about asks, baby! you've enjoyed the safety of a weekend without a hot goss tabloid chasing your tail, but it's time for us, clickbite, the know-it-alls that put gossip girl to shame, to learn a little bit about you, hot stuff. and you're going to do the dirty work for us.
hit the 🩷 on this post so people know you're around and your askbox's ready for this. send out numbers into each other's askboxes (make sure yours is open if it isn't already, sillies) and let's get this thing going. as you can tell below, the questions go from cute to a tiny bit emo to quite real. don't be shy about sending the latter numbers to people. you're gonna have to answer them one way or another.
but here's the trick. if you don't answer any of the hard-hitting, soul-revealing questions on main since you like privacy (you know which ones they are), you may do so on your sideblog via copy and pasting the question and writing your post as a response, no tagging it.
at least one of the hard-hitting questions must be answered in either your main or your sideblog during this game. if you don't receieve any hard-hitting questions to respond to or don't update your sideblog with your hard-hitting question of choice by wednesday, march 27th, clickbites will contact you directly with even more nagging questions for you to respond to on your sideblog. so, darlings, pick your poison wisely below the cut and get to asking.
in your opinion, what is the most beautiful place on earth?
what’s your favorite thing about the place where you live?
if you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would it be? why?
what’s the best trip (traveling wise) you ever had and who was it with?
show us your fave pet pic. if you don't have a pet, show us the pet you'd like to have.
what's your favorite magical creature?
put your music streaming app on shuffle, then tell us the first three songs that come up.
do/did you have a favorite stuffed animal? what was/is its name?
what, if any, animals scare you?
if someone was bringing you breakfast in bed, what would you like for the breakfast to be?
what's your favorite restaurant and what do you order there?
what snack can cheer you up no matter what?
what's the latest meme you have saved?
what is something you wish you could cook but can't?
if you could eliminate one food so no one could eat it ever again, what would you destroy?
what is your favorite way to practice self-care?
what's your go-to comfort movie?
who is your emergency contact?
what physical activity gets your blood pumping and your heart happy? what is the last picture on your phone?
what does your perfect sunday morning look like?
what two things do you consider yourself to be very good at?
what's your least favorite household chore to do?
what is your dream vacation?
who was your celebrity crush growing up? who is it now?
what movie would you show someone as a way to get to know the real you?
what's the last show you binge watched embarrassingly fast?
what music are you listening to right now?
if you could watch any movie right now, what would it be and why?
what's your last google search?
what song breaks your heart? why?
who was your first kiss with? how was it?
describe your ideal first date.
if myspace was still a thing, what would your profile song be?
what's been your happiest memory this past year?
have you changed your mind about anything recently?
what has been your earliest recollection of happiness?
what lesson took you the longest to un-learn?
are you lying to yourself about anything?
what do you crave more of?
finish the sentence: strangers would describe me as ______, only i know that i am _______
what's the worst pain you have ever been in that wasn't physical?
has a stranger ever changed your life? how?
what's your first loves name and the reason you fell in love with them?
what would your younger self not believe about your life today?
how would you describe the feeling of being in love with one word?
what are you more afraid of: failure or success and why?
what is a dream you let go of?
if you could get to know someone in your life on a deeper level who would it be and why?
do you think the image you have of yourself matches the image other people see you as?
are you missing anyone right now? do you think they miss you too?
how are you, really?
if you could have it your way: who would you be with? where would you be? what would you be doing?
what dating advice would you give your younger self?
what could you have done better in previous relationships?
how does one earn your vulnerability?
how many people have you said "i love you" to without actually meaning it?
how did your first heartbreak change you?
is there anyone on this planet that could destroy you with just their words?
do you think you are worthy of being loved?
if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
when did you last cry in front of another person? by yourself?
complete this sentence: “i wish i had someone with whom i could share … “
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Laser Guns and Streamers
@bookwormscififan shared an idea of Chase celebrating his birthday with the Egos taking Chase to laser tag and I got a liiiiitle carried away XD
Laser Guns and Streamers
Chase was already buzzing with excitement as he slipped the thick, black vest over his head, watching the others around him do the same with their own vests. His smile somehow got even bigger as Marvin went up to him and helped make sure the vest was on him properly.
“I still can’t believe that everyone agreed to do this,” Chase said, playing with some of the colorful streamers that were tucked into Marvin’s ponytail.
Robbie and Blank had decorated the others at the House before they left. Streamers, glitter, and washable markers were almost like weapons and no one was safe. Chase had some green lines across his cheeks, almost looking like the kind of ‘war paint’ one would see with football players. There was also some glitter in his hair that he’d already accepted as being part of him for a while since glitter always stuck around.
“It’s for your birthday, they’re willing to do whatever it takes to make sure it’s a perfect, happy day for you.” Marvin kissed Chase’s cheek. “But that doesn’t mean they’ll go easy on you when the game starts.” He added with a wink.
“Are you ready for battle!?” Jackie asked in a shout as he went over to Chase. He had streamers tied around his head like a sweatband, green lines on his cheeks like Chase, and patches of glitter on his arms.
“Hell yeah!” Chase matched Jackie’s energy and the two ran off, leaving Marvin to smile and roll his eyes.
“Septiceyes verses Ipliers!” Wilford joined in the excited yelling, he was covered almost the same as Jackie but with a lot more glitter.
“I’m not a Septiceye nor an Iplier so I should be allowed to sit out with Host,” Mad stated, having a few streamers tied around his wrists and the green lines were on his face, too.
“We’re honorary Septiceyes today,” Phantom said, several streamers around his neck tied into a loose bow. He had green on his cheeks but Blank had insisted that Phantom’s had to be swirls and not straight lines. “Plus I like the idea of being able to shoot my brother without consequences.”
“It’s just a laser, don’t get too excited.” Mare had a smirk with his scoff, arms lined with tied streamers and glitter.
“If Mad wishes to sit out, I can do the same so the teams remain even,” Google said.
“Don’t be boring, Googs!” Bing nudged Google with his elbow, grin bright while Google breathed heavily through his nose. Both androids had their arms covered in glitter and some braided streamers were around their necks, hanging down like ties.
“Birthday boy says it’s time to go!” Anti shouted from the chair he stood on, any exposed skin on him was covered in green marker and glitter, and streamers looped around his legs to make a crossing pattern.
He had dozed off when Blank and Robbie were getting him ready and the two got a little carried away.
“I give it fifteen seconds before the match is over,” Henrik stated, standing next to Edward. They matched with streamers wrapped around their torsos like they were mummies.
“If some of us try cheatin’ with powers, it only gonna be like ten,” Yancy stated. He had a thick collection of streamers tied around both upper arms.
“If even that.” Illinois chuckled, his arms having the same collection of streamers.
“We can have as many rounds as we want.” JJ silently giggled as he had the words appear in Yancy and Illinois’ heads. He also had a thick collection of streamers, but his were tied around his waist.
“Let’s get this over with,” Dark said as he guided Yancy and Illinois off to join the other Ipliers and Mare to the back set of doors. Dark had planned just to have a few streamers on his wrist to keep the peace, but after Anti got covered he was held down and got himself matching Anti’s level of mess. And he was still grumpy about it.
“Ready to show them what we can do?” Chase asked his team, bouncing on his feet as he held the ‘gun’ one of the workers had given him.
“I don’t really have a-ow!” Mad didn’t get to finish before Marvin was elbowing him. “Totally ready!” He said that instead and then cringed at how weird that felt and sounded.
“Totally ready.” Phantom echoed in a teasing tone that turned into a laugh when Mad glared at him.
“Let’s go!” Chase cheered and sprinted into a game room first.
He blinked fast, getting his eyes adjusted to the different lighting. He loved the fun colors, could hear the music playing from speakers above, songs that he knew all too well and he felt like he was in an action film. All eyes were on him as he ducked through the foam walls that turned the room into a maze. He was the protagonist who would save the day by taking out anyone in his way.
This was so cool!
Chase leaped over a short foam wall and with the biggest grin and the tip of his tongue sticking out, he quickly ‘shot’ Google in the back. Google looked down at the red light on his chest, shrugged, and walked off. Chase turned and saw Henrik chasing after Edward, both laughing and Henrik suddenly stopped, the light on his chest going red and a cheer from Wilford giving away that he had been the one to take him out.
“You made it to twenty seconds.” Edward chuckled.
“And you made it to twenty-five.” Henrik pointed at Edwad’s chest, light now red as well.
“Gotcha!” Chase called out, smiling as both doctors laughed some more and waved at him as they went to the side with Google.
“Doube-team!? Really!?” Marvin’s voice huffed from behind a foam wall that reached the ceiling. Chase looked around and saw Yancy and Illinois with Marvin.
“Most of yous got magic, we can use tag team.” Yancy chuckled.
“Maybe you’ll get us next-” Illinois stopped when his light went red.
“Wait, how-” Yancy stopped as well and his own light also went red.
“You two got too cocky.” Chase grinned as he stepped out of his hiding spot. He then went to Marvin and bowed. “You’ve been avenged.”
“I’ll be sure to reward you for that later.” Marvin giggled, slipping off Chase’s hat to kiss the top of his head.
“Gross.” Yancy stuck his tongue out.
“Gross? I could be so much blunter. I’m going to suck-”
“Nope, nope, nope. I hear nothing!” Yancy covered his ears and walked away.
“Have fun, but don’t hurt yourself,” Marvin said to Chase, giving him one more quick kiss on the cheek before heading off with Illinois.
“I’m shocked you don’t already have something planned for tonight,” Illinois commented.
“Oh, I do~”
“Sorry blueberry.” Wilford’s voice behind Chase told him that JJ’s was out. His team was still ahead, but only by one.
“Shit, shit, shit.” Bing was scrambling past Chase, not seeing him. “Shit!” His last curse was one of disappointment at his light going red.
“I hide in the shadows.” Chase played up his voice and Bing laughed.
“I’ll get ya next round, dude.” Bing saluted and went off to sit with Google.
“That leaves Wil, Dark, and Mare.” Chase listed off.
“Does it just vibrate or does it make a noise?” Mad’s voice sounded worried but Chase had learned the difference between his actual worry and the exaggerated worried voice Anti and Marvin taught him to use when it came to Mare.
Meaning that Mare was with Mad.
Chase snuck around the foam walls and saw Mad and Mare. Even though Mare knew the worry in Mad’s voice wasn’t real, he still couldn’t help but fall for it every time. Chase found it sweet how Mare’s first thought was Mad’s safety and comfort, knowing he was the same way with Marvin. He also knew that Mad only ever used that voice with Mare when someone else told him to. Phantom was likely-
“Oh, you shit!” Mare turned when his light went red, glaring over at Phantom who was laughing. “That’s a cheap move!”
“Sorry.” Mad gave Mare an apology kiss.
“I did not want to see that.” Phantom covered his eyes with a hand. “Not worth-” He paused and his jaw dropped at seeing his red light. “Who the fuck-Mad!”
“Oh.” Mad’s light was now red as well.
Chase slipped away, knowing that it meant either Dark or Wilford was hiding somewhere and had gotten Mad and Phantom. He still had Jackie and Anti running around, or at least he assumed so since if one of them had gotten out, he would have heard them.
“Mother fucker!”
And there goes Anti.
Chase was wondering how he hadn’t seen Jackie yet. He wasn’t the most…stealthy Septiceye with how much he likes to run and jump and climb around.
At the thought of climbing, Chase looked up and chuckled. He found Jackie sitting on top of one of the foam walls and the way his head was tilted meant he had eyes on one of the remaining Ipliers.
“Got’cha Dark!” Jackie laughed in victory. “Ah, damn it!” Chase didn’t need to see anything to know that Wilford got Jackie.
It was now a showdown between Chase and Wilford.
“Oh, Chase~” Wilford sang with a chuckle.
“So not creepy,” Chase said to himself and sank down, sneaking between some of the tighter spaces between foam chunks, knowing Wilford wouldn’t be able to do the same. He had to slap a hand over his mouth to stop the sound of surprise from coming out when Wilford was suddenly on top of one of the foam blocks beside him.
“Where are you?” Wilford was singing again as he looked around.
“Right here!” Chase laughed and shot Wilford.
“Green team wins.” A voice said through the speaker and cheers broke out from most of the other Egos.
“I did even think you’d go for low.” Wilford helped Chase out of the space and hoisted him up, sitting him on his shoulder. “Round one goes to Chase!”
“Chase! Chase! Chase!” The chant from his teammates had Chase feeling bright and warm.
He really loved the chaotic family he had.
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Tagged by @thiamsxbitch thank you and I am sorry but I am now going through all of my activities and tags now and I realize wow I have been not looking at tumblr until yesterday 😩
Last Song I Listened To: All The Stars by Kendrick Lamar and SZA. Inspiration and Empowerment was my mood here.
Last Book I Read: IT by Stephen King🎈🎈 Let's just say that horror and psychological thriller has made me look up inspirations from Stephen King and the book portrayal of IT is downright horrifying compared to the movie
Last Film: Godzilla: Minus One. I had to rewatch this revitalized Japanese masterpiece again and it is both mesmerizing and heartbreaking
Last TV Show I Watched: All Of Us Are Dead. I have been into Korean and Japanese media lately and so far these Korean dramas have been exciting and intense to binge watch. Plus they really know how to pull one's heartstrings and torment the audience. Plus I have been learning Korean just from watching these dramas😁
Last Video Game I Played: The Mimic, a Roblox Japanese horror game with a compelling lore and plot
Last Thing I Googled: The most expensive city in the world. BTW Tokyo is no longer first place as the most expensive city, now it's my home city, New York City💀💀. Yayyy!!! (Sarcasm implied)
Last Thing I Ate: Lemon Meringue Tart. It was very good and tempting😋
Savory, Sweet, or Spicy: Truthfully, I like all of them. I do not have a picky preference for these three. (I survived Mexican, Indian and Korean food😅😋)
Currently Watching: I am watching Riverdale, on season 2 and I find the storyline intriguing to continue and the teenage drama to be dramatic. But I am also on Teen Wolf season 1 for writing purposes📖📖🖊🖊
Currently Reading: Key Witness by J.D Freedman. Currently still reading it but it is a suspenseful and intriguing book about a powerful and wealthy corporate attorney who is risking everything to fighting an unwinnable case who's client is a murderer and career criminal👀👀
Amount Of Sleep: Sorry what is that?
No Pressure Tags: @rhyslahey @arewordsenough @wolfboy88 @ksbbb @scisac @chasing-chimeras @isaac-not-isaac @unsanedes @phantomraeken @moonraeken
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✧ ˚ · –– MEMBERS, TIME TO PLAY A GAME...
and it's all about asks, baby! you've enjoyed the safety of a weekend without a hot goss tabloid chasing your tail, but it's time for us, clickbites, the know-it-alls that put gossip girl to shame, to learn a little bit about you. and you're going to do the dirty work for us.
hit the 💜 on this post so people know you're around and your askbox's ready for this. send out numbers into each other's askboxes (make sure yours is open if it isn't already, sillies) and let's get this thing going.
as you can tell below, the questions go from cute to a lil emo to some real shit. don't be shy about sending the latter numbers to people. you're gonna have to answer them one way or another. but here's the trick.
if you don't answer any of the hard-hitting, soul-revealing questions on main since you like privacy (you know which ones they are), you may do so on your sideblog via copy and pasting the question and writing your post as a response, no tagging it. at least one of the hard-hitting questions must be answered in either your main or your sideblog during this game. if you don't receieve any hard-hitting questions to respond to or don't update your sideblog with your hard-hitting question of choice by wednesday, september 6th, clickbites will contact you directly with even more nagging questions for you to respond to on your sideblog.
so, darlings, pick your poison wisely below the cut and get to asking.
in your opinion, what is the most beautiful place on earth?
what’s your favorite thing about the place where you live?
if you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would it be? why?
what’s the best trip (traveling wise) you ever had and who was it with?
show us your fave pet pic. if you don't have a pet, show us the pet you'd like to have.
what's your favorite magical creature?
put your music streaming app on shuffle, then tell us the first three songs that come up.
do/did you have a favorite stuffed animal? what was/is its name
what, if any, animals scare you?
if someone was bringing you breakfast in bed, what would you like for the breakfast to be?
what's your favorite restaurant and what do you order there?
what snack can cheer you up no matter what?
what's the latest meme you have saved?
what is something you wish you could cook but can't?
if you could eliminate one food so no one could eat it ever again, what would you destroy?
what is your favorite way to practice self-care?
who is your emergency contact?
what physical activity gets your blood pumping and your heart happy? what is the last picture on your phone?
what does your perfect sunday morning look like?
what two things do you consider yourself to be very good at?
what's your least favorite household chore to do?
who was your celebrity crush growing up? who is it now?
what movie would you show someone as a way to get to know the real you?
what's the last show you binge watched embarrassingly fast?
what music are you listening to right now?
if you could watch any movie right now, what would it be and why?
what's your last google search?
what song breaks your heart? why?
if myspace was still a thing what would your profile song be?
what's been your happiest memory this past year?
have you changed your mind about anything recently?
what has been your earliest recollection of happiness?
what lesson took you the longest to un-learn?
are you lying to yourself about anything?
what do you crave more of?
finish the sentence: strangers would describe me as ______, only i know that i am _______
what's the worst pain you have ever been in that wasn't physical?
has a stranger ever changed your life? how?
what's your first loves name and the reason you fell in love with them?
what would your younger self not believe about your life today?
how would you describe the feeling of being in love with one word?
what are you more afraid of: failure or success and why?
what is a dream you let go of?
if you could get to know someone in your life on a deeper level who would it be and why?
do you think the image you have of yourself matches the image other people see you as?
are you missing anyone right now? do you think they miss you too?
how are you, really?
if you could have it your way: who would you be with? where would you be? what would you be doing?
what dating advice would you give your younger self?
what could you have done better in previous relationships?
how does one earn your vulnerability?
how many people have you said "i love you" to without actually meaning it?
how did your first heartbreak change you?
is there anyone on this planet that could destroy you with just their words?
do you think you are worthy of being loved?
if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
when did you last cry in front of another person? by yourself?
complete this sentence: “i wish i had someone with whom i could share … “
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So… I’ve been lurking… and I’ve had this idea ever since you made that post about being on a Sky binge (I’m like weeks late, but shhhhh! That’s details!)
And even if my loyalty stays completely with Wars (I’m so in love with this man it’s not even funny, send help /hj), I am here to feed the horny Sky simps today!
So, here’s the idea: I remember seeing a post about ancient dildos and that they were usually made of polished bone or wood. I think you can see where I’m going with this. (btw I am not verifying any of this. my internet provider can know I read smut but I draw the line at them knowing I searched info about ye old dildos on google)
So, dear reader, imagine, if you will: Sky spending hours carving an exact replica of his dick (or yours if you have one, or even better! both.) as a present for you. Maybe you use it maybe you don’t. it still serves as some kind of memento.
And if I may try my hand at my very first smut written piece, please enjoy~
-
“A-ah…ahhh…” breathy gasps escape your lips as you greedily push the polished object deeper into your needy hole.
Goddesses!
What wouldn’t you give to have your lover be the one pushing deeper and deeper into you instead. For him to hold you, caress you… grope you and SNAP those delicious hips of his into you.
“Mhmmm…” a particularly needy, high pitched moan leaves you searching for the groans and praises that usually follow. For his hot breath right against your ear.
Your lover knows exactly what to do to make you mindless. Where to lick, how to kiss, what to pinch… how to hit that spot inside that makes you see stars-
This wooden dick doesn’t even compare to him. To his warmth… but it’s good enough for now. Feels pleasant too. Very pleasant.
It’s been carved in his image, after all.~
“Nghn...mmhmm…” Gods you want more.
So much more.
Absorbed into the chase for release, you don’t even hear the door open. The man you crave so badly is watching attentively form the doorway, pants tightening by the second.
It seems the deities took pity on you… and him.
“Miss me that badly?” he asks, voice breathy and low. His eyes laced with desire devour your naked form hungrily.
It would appear that all his hard work has been a worthwhile endeavor, if he gets to see you like this.
…Perhaps a tad too successful…
“Link!” you startle, yet the relief and need are clear in your voice.
As he begins to strip, he supposes it’s time for you to be reminded of what the real deal can do.~
-
And with my first actually written smut piece here, I have finally, completely and irrevocably descended into debauchery. Thank you for the warm welcome, it’s quite lovely here <3
(on a serious note, please tell me if anything is too much or whatever else and also if I’m accidentally not on anon. also, love your blogs!)
I may visit your inbox in the future as well, if I get inspired, so I suppose I’ll need to become an anon. How does 🐸anon sound?
🐸 anon, I never thought this would show up in my inbox and drop to my knees (once again) to this wonderful meal. This is giving me ideas 👀 though, those shall be saved after the other asks are done.
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How Egos Kiss
becoming cringe again to indulge in autism
WOMEN DNI
Iplier Egos
Darkiplier
Depends on his mood
He gives hand kisses idgaf
He prolly does neck kisses
Doesnt have to be sexual or anything
He just likes being close to you i suppose
Wilford
Kisses you alot
Doesnt matter where
Hes just a very touchy man ok
He has alot of love to give
Host
(I love him so much)
He gives very gentle kisses
and hand kisses
hes a gentleman ok
Illinois
Deep kisses
Also neck kisses
Hes a very passionate fella
Google
He gives small kisses
Idk he doesnt seem that much of like a touchy guy
Hand kisses yknow
Bing
Makes out with you
Just deadass
He kisses you anywhere anytime
He just loves you
“That kiss was pretty rad!”
Septicye Egos
Anti
Deep kisses
Neck kisses
He dont give a shit
Chase
Forehead kisses
Neck kisses but in a not sexual way
“Babe, if I land this water bottle flip we kiss ok?”
Hes swagging out
Jameson
I genuinely feel like hed give eskimo kisses???
Hand kisses prolly
Idk hes a soft guy
Robbie
His is kinda sloppy i think
Hes scared of accidentally biting you or something
Youre better off kissing him first i suppose
Marvin
Generally kisses are gentle
Give him goodluck kisses before shows please
Battle Egos
Phantom
Hes either rough or a gentleman
No in between sorry man
Depends on his mood i suppose
Natemare
Uhhh
Passionate???
How else do i explain it man
Natepai
Gentle
Lil softy i suppose
Hes so
*Grips his head*
Bones!!!
Hes pretty gentle
Hes literally trying not to collapse in pain constantly so ofc hes gentle?
#nwtb phantom x reader#nwtb#natpai x male reader#nwtb natemare#natemare x male reader#markiplier egos#darkiplier x reader#wilford x male reader#darkiplier x male reader#host markiplier#illinois#googleplier x reader#bingiplier#anti x male reader#antisepticye x reader#chase brody x reader#jj jameson#jj jameson x reader#robbie the zombie x reader#marvin the magician#marvin x reader#nwtb bones#nwtb bones x reader#natepai x reader
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EgoTober Notes and Master List
Hey Gamers! So @tracobuttons has dropped the Egotober prompt list and this year, I'll be writing again. I've been writing for Egotober since it was started but in years past I only got a few out, there was no cohesive story. Last year I actually wrote every day and it got a lot more attention than I expected. Last year I had a coherent storyline, and because all stories were left on cliff hangers I'm going to continue with it during this year.
One thing that happened last year though was a lot of people asking me how my universe worked around the Septic and Iplier Egos and this post will serve as that information post.
So, here is my Egotober Masterlist and notes guide to Raspy Hill!
What Egos exist in my canon?
In the Iplier Manor: Darkiplier, Wilford Warfstache, The Jims, King of the Squirrels (Kos, prounounced cause, for short) Yancy, Google, Bing, YandereIplier (Yani, pronounced -yuh-ann-ee, for short), Annus, Heehoo, Actor!Mark (Mark Iplier), really anyone conistently seen post Markiplier TV
In the Septic House: JackieBoyMan, Henrik Von Schneeplestien, Anti, Chase, Marvin, Jameson Jakson, and Robbie.
Where do the Egos exist?
Depending on the Ego they will live full time in Raspy Hill. All of the Iplier Egos are confided to Raspy Hill because of Mark, save for Wilford and Dark who are able to leave the confines for short periods.
The Septic Egos are more of a case by case thing, for instance, Chase and Jackie live in the subdivision of Attitude City, LA (yes that Attitude City) Henrik works in LA as well, at IRIS facilites.
Marvin, Jamie, and Robbie stay in Raspy Hill due to needing its magic to survive.
What is Raspy Hill?
You know that theory that's like "if humans believe in something enough it's real" keep that in mind.
In my canon while Mark and Sean do exist. While Sean is connected to the Septic Egos in more of a magic way. They need someone human to tell their stories and connected them to the normal realm. (This is where that theory comes in) Raspy Hill is their inherent home, so if Jack stops telling their stories and fans stop caring they can become confined to Raspy Hill or even disappear all together.
But the Iplier Egos are different, they are anchored to Mark Iplier. Iplier was reincarnated in our Mark, and if his spirit persists so do the Ipliers.
If you're curious about anything else, just shoot me a message or an Ask. :)
Egotober '22 Master List
October 1 - Hoodie - JackieBoyMan (TWs: None)
October 2 - Leaves - Chase Brody (TWs:None)
October 3 - Ink - Jamesone Jackson (TWs:None)
October 4 - Grey - Jameson Jackson (TWs:Anxious thoughts)
October 5 - Water - Chase Brody (TWs: Allusions to car crash and drowning)
October 6 - Doctor - Henrik Von Schneeplestien, Antisepticeye (TWs: None)
October 7 - Peaceful - Chase Brody (TWs: Allusion to car crash)
October 8 - Key - Darkiplier (TWs:None)
October 9 - Shattered - Darkiplier (TWs: None)
October 10
October 11 - Game - Chase Brody (TWs: None)
October 12 - Metal - Henrik and Chase Brody (TWs: mentions of dissasociation, mentions of blood)
October 13 - Sky - Chase Brody (TWs: Mentions of blood, Allusion to past self harm, falling)
October 14
October 15 - Plant - Jameson Jackson, Marvin the Magnificent (TWs: None)
October 16 - Dragon - Marvin (TWs:None)
October 17 - Path - Darkiplier (TWs:None)
October 18 - Wings - Darkiplier (TWs:None)
October 19
October 20 - Alarm - Henrik, Chase Brody (TWs:Mentions of blood)
October 21 - IRIS - Henrik, Chase Brody (TWs: Mentions of blood and vomit)
October 22 - Buried - Jameson Jackson, Robbie the Zombie (TWs:None)
October 23
October 24 - Creepy - Robbie, Jameson Jackson (TWs:None)
October 25 - Magic - Marvin, Antisepticeye (TWs:Mentions of burning/being burnt, knife mention)
October 26 - Bones - Wilford Warfstache, Darkiplier (TWs:None)
October 27 - Expirement - Henrik, Chase Brody (TWs:None)
October 28 - Purple - Jamie, Robbie, Jackie (TWs: Mentions of burning/being burnt)
October 29 - Ghost - Dark, Wilford (TWs:None)
October 30 - Pumpkin - Chase Brody (TWs: Mentions of drugging)
October 31 - Happy Halloween - Chase Brody (TWs:Allusion to falling, dissasociation)
Egotober 23' Masterlist
October 1 - Cape - JackieBoyMan
October 2 - Stone - Marvin
October 3 - Drink - Chase Brody
October 4 - Happy - Chase Brody
October 5 - Jar - Marvin
October 6 - Pillow - Chase Brody
October 7 - Leaves - Chase Brody
October 8- Frame - Henrik Von Schneeplestien
October 9 - Antlers - Marvin
October 10 - Glitch - AntiSepticEye
October 11 - Metal - AntiSepticEye, Henrik Von Schneeplestien
October 12 - Green - AntiSepticEye
October 13 - Mirror - Darkiplier
October 14 - Time - Wilford Warfstache
October 15 - Strong - JackieBoyMan, AntiSepticEye
October 16 - Cards - Marvin
October 17 - Flower - Robbie the Zombie, Jameson Jackson
October 18 - Rage - Wilfor Warfstache
October 19 - Silver - Darkiplier, Wilford Warfstache
October 20 - Music - Wilford Warfstache
October 21 - Shadow - Marvin
October 22 - Vampire - Yani, Bingiplier
October 23 - Web - Darkiplier, Wilford Warfstache, Mark Iplier
October 24 - Fire - The House
October 25 - Cauldron - Marvin
October 26 - Werewolf - Bingiplier, Yani
October 27 - Orange - Darkiplier
October 28 - Ghost - Wilford Warfstache
October 29 - Fright - AntiSepticEye
October 30 - Witch - Marvin
October 31 - Happy Halloween
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Bing and King, making loud, shouty gorilla sounds at each other:
Chase:
Google, exasperatedly: We have a guest.
#markiplier#markiplier egos#jse#jse egos#jacksepticeye#jacksepticeye egos#bingiplier#king of the squirrels#googleiplier#chase brody#incorrect quotes#incorrect ego quotes#incorrect egos
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Day 6 with Trickshot, day 17 with maybe Chase, Bing and google (I’m not quite sure on the ship name)
Of course! I think the ship name is BingleAverage? I’m actually not too sure myself 😅
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tagged by @chasing-chimeras @thiamsxbitch and @wolfboy88 !! please ignore how long i have been putting this off
Last song u listened to: Passenger by Boston Manor
Last book I read: The Heartforger by Rin Chupeco
Last film: Cars 2 because its a comfort movie of mine (i blame my little brother who loves the cars franchise)
Last tv show: i binge-watched the live-action ATLA a few days ago! it wasn't entirely bad, i actually enjoyed it
Last video game: Pokemon White 2
Last thing I googled: "what happens if you put a tide pod in the dishwasher" (NO i did not put a tide pod in the dishwasher. the answer was a lot of soap)
Last thing I ate: curly fries from sheetz :)
sweet, savory, or spicy: my diabetic ass can not get enough of sweet stuff
Currently Watching: Atlantis: The Lost Empire (bc rey and i are co-planning a thiam au based on it and i need research)
Currently reading: The Shadow Glass by Rin Chupeco (i seriously can't recommend this series enough, its so good and has a lot of representation. also may be basing a hayden-centric au off of it sooo)
Amount of sleep? uhhhh usually around 7-8 hours, but i get woken up a lot by my blood sugar alarms going off bc my body is unstable so its never really consistent
not tagging anyone bc i have anxiety and also everyone's done this already haha
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Year of Song: Symmetry - Joel Miller
(*gif by @slained)
Summary: The outbreak took many things. The same shots that took Sarah away from him were the same shots that left a near-permanent ringing in his ears, normal sounds not as sharp as they once were. Bitterness rose sharply in his throat, and that’s when he downed the moonshine and the pills, trying to chase it away.
Word count: 1.7k
Rating: M
Warnings: drug addiction, drug use, alcoholism, addiction, grief, Joel is a raw, throbbing, wound, asshole!Joel, possibly ooc Tommy and Joel, mentions of child death, SPOILERS if you've not seen the episode or know what happens in the games, possibly bad google translate Spanish that you will have to translate yourself. :)
A/N: Here it is! My first fic for @oonajaeadira and @writeforfandoms Year of Creation challenge. Not really a challenge, but that's what I've been calling it. I've decided to do a year of song. The first song is called Symmetry by SYML. Thank you to @wyn-n-tonic for looking over this fic and suggesting ways to punch it up. I'm incredibly rusty, but this is my first Joel fic and I still like it.
You can listen to Symmetry here.
[Masterlist] || Series Masterlist || Part Two
-----
Take heed, my son
The darkness will come
Blackholes will bend the proudest ones
And change up your symmetry
He’d never been one to drown himself to ignore the pain. He couldn’t. He didn’t have a choice. Sarah needed him. Tommy needed him. He didn’t have time to indulge. When could he when he had to build houses to support himself? Being a single parent didn’t lend to selfish desires. But that didn’t mean he didn’t hide the pain. He told himself all the working, the exhaustion, was so that Sarah didn’t have to want for anything. He believed that. However, he didn’t know if Sarah believed it.
Joel gave Sarah credit where it was due, though. She was a smart kid. She took care of him when he couldn’t take care of himself. When the overwhelming responsibilities of adulthood took over, she picked up the pieces. He didn’t admit it to himself at the time, but he knew if he ever lost her, he’d fall apart. Nothing would get done. He’d hole himself up at the house and never leave. Not for Tommy and certainly not for himself. So, yes. All the work he threw himself into was for Sarah. That’s what he told himself.
It was a lie.
Sarah’s presence didn’t stop the nightmares. The long days didn’t exhaust him enough to let him drift off into dreamless slumber. At night, he relived the pain. It seeped into the edges of his subconscious, playing over and over again. Blood splattered on the sand. Bombs exploding. Pieces of his squadmates were strewn over the desert, torn about by bullets or car bombs or god knows what else. It never stopped. The nightmares often morphed and shifted to night terrors far worse that he wouldn’t dare repeat.
The mornings after those nightmares were the hardest. No amount of coffee he drank dulled the persistent throbbing at the base of his skull. No amount of Tylenol helped either. Tommy’s incessant conversation at the job site didn’t help either. He spent the day in a grumpy fog, until he got home, trying to perk up for Sarah when she made dinner. But even then, he saw the way she looked at him, worry in her brown-eyed gaze. When he saw that look, he always tried to adjust the mask he knew was slipping. He hated worrying her.
If she saw him now, he knew there’d be more than worry in her gaze.
He tried not to think about that.
It started almost immediately following the outbreak. The cravings. The need to drown his sorrows in something that he could get lost in. At first, Tommy tried to keep him from it. They’d pilfered some bottles in a liquor store up north. When Tommy found a brand new bottle near empty from a late-night binge, he poured it out, denying Joel the opportunity to drink again. Joel fought him on it. He told his little brother it was nothing. Just something to help him sleep when the sleeping nightmares kept him in the waking one; when it felt like his heart was shattered glass. Just like Sarah, Tommy didn’t believe him. Joel had a hard time believing it himself.
But he didn’t want to admit it to himself. He’d denied the pull to addiction for so long, the lingering presence of it becoming like a close friend. A love. Then something different altogether. Something far more sinister lurked in the background like a hidden phantom, shifting into the myriad faces of the dead. They taunted him until the cold tendrils of loathing and hate curled deep into his heart. It threatened to suffocate him and drown him far more than the drink ever could.
When he and Tommy joined the hunters it got worse. Half a bottle of liquor at night turned into one whole one drank over the course of the day. His hands shook when he didn’t have his drink. He tried to ignore Tommy, the constant nagging making his life a living hell. Couldn’t he see he was grieving? Couldn’t he see that he missed Sarah and saw her in every dead, mutilated body he passed on the street? Why couldn’t Tommy leave him alone? Let him close off the parts of himself that made him human and let him numb the parts left over.
The pills came later. One of the hunters knew a guy who knew a guy in the Atlanta QZ. Or something like that. He never asked questions. As a hunter, it was discouraged. He learned very quickly that questions encouraged dissonance within the group. They had a leader. The rest of them were just muscle. He had no problem being the muscle that got something done. He had no problem luring people in, in the hopes of getting much-needed supplies. Maybe it should have bothered him—should've eaten him—but it was what he was good at. A good soldier never forgot how to survive.
The first time Tommy saw him down two hydros and three fingers of bathtub moonshine together was the first time he’d ever seen his baby brother get genuinely upset with him. He’d never seen Tommy so angry. Tommy, the baby. Tommy, the one who never knew what to do in a crisis. Tommy, the one always getting in trouble. Joel had to bail him out of the drunk tank that night—never forgave him for that. If he’d been with Sarah instead like he should’ve been, would she have gone downstairs? If he’d been in bed when she came looking for him, would she still be here? He ate himself up with the ‘what ifs’.
The sky appeared pitch black that night. Not even the light of the camper lanterns seemed to pierce the inky blackness. The makeshift common room created in the building the hunters invaded some miles away from the closest QZ–Boston if his memory served–glowed with an eerie white light, but only in the immediate area of the lanterns. Outside the lanterns, the darkness permeated the hidden corners. The only indication other people inhabited the building was the low drone of voices he heard in the background, muffled and barely audible.
The outbreak took many things. The same shots that took Sarah away from him were the same shots that left a near-permanent ringing in his ears, normal sounds not as sharp as they once were. Bitterness rose sharply in his throat, and that’s when he downed the moonshine and the pills, trying to chase it away
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Tommy snapped, practically reaching over to snatch the glass from his fingers.
He didn’t even know Tommy was in the room.
“Christ, Tommy,” he jerked away from his brother. The only other person in the common room of the hunters’ hideout watched them warily. Joel could feel his eyes on them.
“Goddamnit, I asked you a question, Joel. What the fuck are you doing?”
“Surviving.”
“Surviving?” his brother snapped incredulously. “That’s not surviving, Joel. You’re gonna kill yourself. Or is that what you want?”
“Fuck you, Tommy. Fuck off.” He stood in a flourish, stalking to the area he called his own, hoping to be left alone with his pills and his booze. Let it drown out the thoughts screaming in his head.
Tommy immediately followed after him, not allowing him a single moment of respite. That sounded about right. His brother might be the baby of the two of them, but Joel always felt overshadowed by him. Even now it felt no different. Tommy got the credit. Tommy had to act holier than thou when they both knew he’d pulled him fall-down drunk out of a bar on more than one occasion. The double standard grated on his nerves even now.
“No, you don’t walk away from me, Joel.” He raked his hands through his hair. “Christ. You know how stupid this is?”
“Well, maybe you can be the responsible one of the two of us now. That’d be a revolutionary concept.”
“Fuck you, Joel. You see what I’m doing here. You know what I’m capable of.”
He flopped onto a ratty armchair shoved into the corner of his makeshift room. “I know what you’re capable of now.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Don’t pretend like you don’t know.”
“I don’t know, Joel. What the fuck are you holding over my head now?”
“You didn’t help me when I needed you,” Joel said sharply.
The realization dawned heavily on his brother’s face. Good. It needed to. Let him remember that night. Let it drown Tommy like it had him. Let the hand of grief hold him under the water until it filled his lungs and sank him under the waves. His baby brother needed to know what he felt like—why he needed the drink, the pills. He didn’t need to explain anything to Tommy. He didn’t deserve that explanation.
Tommy carded his hand through his hair. Joel could see the way his chin quivered from across the room.
“No es justo. Sabes que no había nada que pudiera hacer.”
“Podrías haberlo intentado,” he snapped. “Sal de mi cara.”
Joel tried to ignore the way Tommy looked like he could shatter in front of him. Some sick, twisted part of him wanted his little brother to crumble. He wanted him to fall apart so he could stomp on the pieces and grind them into the ground. Never let him recover. If Joel had to hold himself together with substances like glue, Tommy should, too. Joel wanted to feed his own sick, twisted, grief with his brother's.
For his part, Tommy held it together, his ragged breathing the only indication that anything was wrong. The silence hung heavy, but they didn’t speak to each other. There was nothing more to say. If Joel spoke, neither of them would recover from it. He was grateful when his baby brother took his leave, the tension in the room releasing, but the tension inside of him percolated dangerously. Bile rose in the back of his throat, and he chased it away with another few fingers of booze.
He’d never been one to drown himself to ignore the pain. But now, he welcomed the bottom of the bottle and the sweet darkness of a quiet mind beneath the drugs.
Anything to forget what he never could.
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