I'VE TRANSCRIBED ALL THE VIDEOS FROM LIMPLEGSAKIMBO
As a fair warning, I am no pro and some of these tracks are garbled as fuck !!! to help with that I've also included sound effects and music transcriptions !!! gotta make sure plushrump is accessible.
blenderblender teaser
-March of the toreador played on a music box
blenderblender
-March of the toreador played on a music box
-blender sounds
blenderblender double tap
-Careless Whisper by George Michael
[whispered]"[...] puppet snuff and [...] at plushrump dot com"
shadysurgery teaser
-music box, lofi crackling
[whispered] "shady surgery. I know, you must hurt. I know."
-jigsaw laugh overlayed by a splatter sfx
shadysurgery
-lofi crackle, steady EKG monitor, busy hospital ambience, muppet's Kokomo plays in the background
[whispering begins and is unintelligible (I heard puppet somewhere in there)]
-loud feminine voice on the intercom, she calls for Shaun to go to bio and reads a code out (for ambience purposes)
-alarms start, ambience and song fade out, ekg flatlines
-all sounds fade minus the crackle (the sound is a perfect loop)
plushrump new look
-the caption is a direct transcript, at "subscribe today" the TTS voice switched to a clearer more robotic voice, occasionally sparkling sound effects and applause play, in the background a Homestuck-esque song is playing
new pages always appearing
-lofi crackle, heavy breathing, occasional mouse clicks, in the background a little tune is playing
Ides of Jasper 1
-bweep sfx and punch sfx getting sped up with each stab
Ides of Jasper 2
-23 punch sounds, applause, in the background muzak is playing
creepy video lol
-music similar to circus music plays in the background
[spoken in a masculine carny voice] "Puppets *real*. and they're in your area! so(?) sexy! look at the way they move and dance and play around! want more puppets? want more plush rump? want more plush puppet rump? find them in your area at limplegsakimbo dot tumblr dot com-blr dot com... cum on me!]
-random sound effects are interspersed, and the music turns into muffled static as the speech finishes
-A single honk sfx is played... an eerily familiar honk sfx...
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- - - intro ⛄️
about me
name: kitty :3
age: 20
identity: nonbinary intersex lesbian on testosterone, polyamorous, bottom leaning switch
main blog: d3lusi0nal-d33r
extra: DID sys, auDHD, disabled
dni and boundaries
i have a fiancée and a partner. please keep this in mind while interacting <3
messages and asks are appreciated!! although i may not respond (*ノノ)
please dont add anything to my posts (tagged bashfull bunny) unless we're friends !!
homo/transphobes, racists, zionists, antisemites, "MAPS", zoos, ed/sh blr, race/age play and minors/no age in bio/about DNI !!
kinks
somno, cnc, free use, breeding, petplay, monsters/tentacles, ovipos, omo, degradation and praise, body worship, revealing clothing, voyeurism...
limits: sc*t/v*mit, inc*st, age play,detrans, fetishizing minorities (POC, lesbians, pwDisabilities), anything not consensual
- - - thank you for reading ⭐️
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📓📕📘📙 Prologue 📓📔📗📘
I am reposting these first eighty-two chapters (in 22 sections) plus the prologue and the preface.
These posts will be the updated versions from my DeviantArt account, and since Tumblr may not display all the text correctly (it destroys anything I had in italics or underlined) I would still recommend reading everything there, on DeviantArt. They will also include internal links that navigate between the chapters on DeviantArt and will take the reader off Tumblr if clicked.
This came about because I noticed search engines were finding random sections of my book and displaying them along with some other people’s blog posts.
Okay, so that’s why I installed those internal links in each one… so that if anyone gets to a random section by way of a search engine and would like to read the story from the beginning, they can.
Only then did I realize that it wasn’t getting it’s search results from DeviantArt, but from old Tumblr.
There’s another problem at work here besides unrefined searches…
There is a new species of virus on the internet that likes to eat ancient Tumblr posts and barf them back up infested with adware - spyware - malware etc. The virus goes by names like TumGIR, TumBIG, TumPIK, or Tum(anything else but ‘blr’). The caps were added by me for emphasis so that maybe you can double check in case you’re not looking at an actual Tumblr post right now but one of these so-called “mirror” sites.
If you’re looking at this text through one of the counterfeit Tumblrs that I mentioned, then no link you click (assuming it even copies it with my links intact) will take you out; it will redirect you and show you all of the spam ads it wants to. So read carefully what url is showing on your browser right now.
If it is one of the untrustworthy ones I would suggest closing your browser window and doing whatever else you normally would in order to reset settings.
As far as my science fiction novel entitled “If And Only If,” the safest way to find it is by going to my Instagram:
@michelle.de.vandahlcourte
From there you can click on the link in my bio. It will take you to the beginning of the story on DeviantArt… the safe one! No malware.
P.S. None of this is Tumblr’s fault! It’s the malware/adware/spyware developers who are stealing people’s tumblr posts.
The actual content of this page appears below here👇
📓📕📘📙 Prologue 📓📔📗📘
↩️return to previous section (the preface)
Never trust a time traveler who doesn’t wear a watch.
“I found this in the patient’s room, Ms. Ranganathan,” her eager young personal assistant said. “At first I thought it was from a fortune cookie, but it’s in ink, done by someone who can print very neatly.”
“Thank you so much Petra. You did what our ‘sweep team’ failed to do properly.” She took the tiny strip of paper, knowing exactly who the aphorism’s author was referring to, and silently disagreed. Just a few days ago and thirty-thousand years in the future, she’d had the pleasure of hearing him perform his signature song live – while not wearing a watch. His trustworthiness wasn’t a problem. The person who wrote this “fortune” however, was a narcissistic sociopath who was going to get three helicopter-loads of people killed in about a dozen years.
She continued staring into the thing her European employees called a tablet. That was good, she thought, that it blended in with their technology and didn’t look too futuristic. The young woman whom she could just see in the corner of her eye, was in fact chronologically a year older than she. It was also good to see she’d put on neoprene gloves first before picking up some random scrap from a patient’s restroom floor, even though she knew this patient hadn’t been physically ill at all. She glanced at her own watch, one of only two on the entire planet that was currently working, and thought: twenty minutes... that should be more than enough.
Her assistant needed to be less formal, especially in public. Not for social or interpersonal reasons but because it looked attention-drawing weird for Petra to be speaking that way to someone of her apparent age. It had taken about a week to get her to “duzen” as the Germans call it. That part didn’t matter in English, and since this patient had escaped from an American hospital... It wasn’t a big deal at the moment. Furthermore, with time frozen, no one could see or hear them; they could speak however they wanted.
So she held off on another don’t-be-so-formal-in-public talk. The young German had never seen Marcy and Peppermint Patty from Peanuts either, so that analogy hadn’t helped. “Hey, since your tablet should be charged enough by now, go ahead and read me some more of your redacted report for the human workers, please.”
“Yes ma’am!” She whipped the thing out like a spaghetti-western gunslinger and got the page right open:
“A prior group of humans at some unspecified time have found the object. It is not exactly a sphere, but as Alex later described it, The Thing oscillates between a prolate spheroid and an oblate spheroid form. After the original humans found it, it accelerates into space to make its escape.”
She paused to clean a smudge off her screen and casually see if her suddenly-very-quiet boss was still even in the room. She was. Just evidently scanning a corner with a gadget that looked like an old-fashioned label maker.
“It lands on Venus and burrows under the surface slightly – at a place called Lakshmi Planum. This is supposed to be the automated spheroid’s way of returning to its alien caretakers or owners. It’s basically a tool for aliens on a camping trip. Alex later describes them as 12-dimensional beings. We aren’t sure if he’s joking or not. He’s a mathematician.”
She stopped to see why her boss had laughed. “It’s okay Petra, you quoted me exactly. But we’ll edit that part from the final version. Please continue.”
In truth she had known that mathematician since they were kids at school together over a hundred-twenty years in the future. That would be too much info for her assistant from this era of Earth’s past to handle right now. So she got her to keep reading the dumbed-down version while they could still take advantage of time being frozen and the nano robots were still erasing all evidence of the patient’s DNA; enough that the simple CSI types from this time would never be able to find anything.
Back to The Spheroid’s strategy:
Sort of like “if we get separated, meet back here.”
The Spheroid has rudimentary AI capabilities and the ability to monitor or access information networks. It concludes that Venus is a safe place to wait, since humans in the eventual future where it was-will-be found by the miners, will apparently at least partially terraform Mars. But they will do nothing whatsoever with Venus. They decide that it’s just too complicated due to the atmosphere.
The thing knows this from reading the ship’s logs and library files on the human-crewed spacecraft that picked it up. It will simply wait for the appropriate amount of time until right after it was originally found by the mining expedition and gravitationally slingshotted around a naked singularity. Then it will return to its original spatial coordinates and reunite with its owners, etc.
The important details left out in the “et cetera” portion of this account would fill the woman’s device. But several of the higher-ups were adamant that this was all they were cleared for.
She continued:
It does not, however, have the ability to refuse service to anyone else who may find it along the way – Think of an unlocked phone. And someone did find it.
At the end of its last encounter with humans, the six metallurgical researchers on the asteroid outpost who agreed to forget about the alien artifact because they believed it was too much power for any human beings to be trusted with – not only themselves, but any humans at all – made a mistake.
In erasing their memories, one or more of them accidentally erased something they shouldn’t have… A seemingly unimportant memory that would have led its owner to action… That would’ve established space exploration policy, eventually leading to Mars terraforming endeavors in the following century.
Instead? Humans in this alternate future have decided to terraform Venus after all. A few years later they did still terraform Mars as well.
The woman paused briefly to get ahold of herself. She knew the basics: time travel is real, the boss is from the future, the people she works for are the “good guys,” and naturally technology in the future is going to be more advanced. But the numbers which were forthcoming as she read had truly terrifying implications. Had humans become more advanced in this future as well? Enough so that they could be trusted with this kind of… well, firepower?
“It takes about one megaton pushing on every twenty-five square kilometers of atmosphere.” She went on reading.
“So 32,768 one-thousand megaton thermonuclear devices – shaped nuclear charges – are detonated simultaneously and at uniform height over equidistant points above the atmosphere of Venus, causing the atmosphere to undergo implosion-ablation and be largely blasted off into space where it gets harmlessly dragged in by the Sun’s gravity and becomes a zeptoscopically small amount of additional nuclear fuel for our star.”
Future-Alex’s calculations in high school in another century would show it had to be more firepower than that, and that the future-government was probably lying, but again not relevant to humans of 2006.
Thus with the planetary atmosphere of Venus pretty much removed, the humans eagerly began their sub-Cytherean terraforming operations.
Impact on the spheroid’s plans:
Venus was a place where it thought it could wait quietly for a millennium or so, without being disturbed, until its original owners came for it. Now, with all the humans poking around, the thing found it necessary to relocate. First to the far western edge of Ishtar Terra, and then off-planet. As far as it knows, Mars is still being colonized. It chooses for its hiding place, a subterranean cavern beneath a giant sinkhole in an abandoned part of Kentucky...
That was about as far as her assistant’s report would need to go for now, but of course it triggered some of Praji’s memories of her “home time” that she’d recently been forced to leave. That part of the story would need to continue in her mind vlog, privately. Prajina noticed the files in her mindwire beckoning to her but couldn’t look of course; the world would only be frozen for another thirteen minutes now.
Continue on to next section…
If And Only If
Copyright 2015
by Michelle Viviénne de Vandahlcourte
All rights reserved.
No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher or author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
First Edition. © December 16, 2015.
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