#bipolar disorder
historian-in-pearls · a day ago
Home and resting after three days in the hospital. Continued prayers are much appreciated as I continue with recovery!
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charleslucid · 2 days ago
Billy remembers the tremors starting in his hands, much unlike the usual shake when he held out his hand in the air. These were more like earthquakes that never stopped, even with his palms resting on a table in front of him the shakes didn’t seize. With this came a decline in the quality of his hand writing. Something that was once neat and flawless was now just rough lines that only he could make out. He didn’t think much of it, brushing off the occasional comments from others. It would go away soon enough.
Next, we’re the full body shivers. He started wearing more layers after that because he thought he might be cold. It didn’t stop. They weren’t as constant as his hands but they were still there. Every time it happened a wave of annoyance passed through him. It was stupid how something so small could cause that much anger to course through him. He ignored the constant nagging of Max who kept asking him how he was cold when he had three layers of d shirts on. It didn’t matter. It would go away soon enough.
He’d been better about his emotions recently, after taking that new medicine his doctor prescribed him. He couldn’t remember the name but it was for a specific mental illness called Bipolar disorder. The meds definitely worked, they kept him from doing stupid things, kept him from his impulses. He couldn’t help but think about how the uncontrollable movements in his body first started only two weeks after starting them. He ignored it though. It would go away soon enough.
Now the movements were getting more noticeable by peers. No more comments asking if he was cold now they were asking him why he kept moving his shoulders and throwing his head back. There was a constant pain in his neck now from the occasional turns that his body forced him to make. The shoulder shrugs were now starting to get him in trouble with his father. Taking them as Billy being disrespectful rather than just some movement he couldn’t control. He didn’t say anything though. It would go away soon enough.
By now the reason for not telling anybody wasn’t because he was stubborn or stupid it was because he didn’t want to be taken off the meds. The meds helped him a lot. They made him feel better about himself and helped him be nicer to other people. If they took away the meds he would just fall back into being an angry asshole. He didn’t want that. So he ignored it. Maybe it would go away.
Now he couldn’t hold stuff without throwing it in the air. He had broken multiple plates and bowls which had led him to get slapped. He couldn’t hold a pencil without throwing it across the room or else he would break it instead, all the tiny splinters getting lodged into his palm. He stopped going to basketball practice after he accidentally bounced the ball too hard and it came up and hit him in the face. He was too scared to drive now, not after he almost ran him and Max into a ditch. He told her Harrington could drive her to school while she looked at him with pity. It’s getting harder to ignore now. It won’t go away.
He finally cracked after he failed to tie his shoes for the fifth day in a row. Reluctantly getting Susan to drive him to the doctor’s office. Saying goodbye to the most control he’s had over his emotions in a while.
When he told the doctor what was happening, he was surprised to hear that it was perfectly normal. He was happy to hear that they could just put him on a different medication. Apparently it was something called Tardive dyskinesia. A big symptom for medicines typically given for Bipolar Disorder. More specifically anti-psychotics.
After he was put on the new medication it took less than a month for the strong earthquakes inside of his body to end. However he still had the small tremors in his hands for almost a year after. They were hardly noticeable though, dying down to something akin to a vibration. At this point he wished he never ignored it. He could’ve easily made it go away.
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beautifuldarkmind · 7 months ago
I'm jealous of those who can function like a normal human being. They don’t have anxiety holding them back from everything, they don’t struggle to get out of bed or have to put on an act that everything is fine when its not. They don’t struggle to hold friendships and relationships... they don’t feel sad for no fucking reason everyday. Those that can hold jobs and work towards their dreams, the ones who have self esteem and see the beauty in themselves. Those that know what its like to feel safe and secure, not insecure and fearful of it all. 
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sirkrabs · a year ago
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justlgbtthings · 9 months ago
it's all "support autistic/neurodivergent people bc they're human too!" until we start showing traits that aren't "uwu cutesy~" . it's all "support autistic/neurodivergent people!" until we call you out on your casual ableism. it's all "support autistic/ND people!" until we need you to actually stand up for us when our rights and autonomy are violated.
don't say you support neurodivergent people if you only support us when it's convenient for you.
NTs, I encourage you to reblog.
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mentalhealth---awareness · a year ago
Friendly reminder that this world was designed for neurotypicals and if you're neurodiverse or mentally ill and you're struggling, please be kinder to yourself because you're doing your best in a world that wasn't designed for you
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softyin · 2 months ago
the borderline urge to self destruct and isolate <3
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catgirlapologist · 3 months ago
as halloween comes closer here’s a reminder to try to be aware of harmful ableist stereotypes in horror movies and stop supporting movies that contribute to these stereotypes. horror as a genre has a huge tendency for demonizing psychotic people (e.g. schizospec people, bipolar people, etc) and people with antisocial personality disorder (the psychopath/sociopath trope) so when consuming horror media try to stay alert so that you recognize these stereotypes and don’t internalize harmful beliefs targeting psychotic people and people w aspd. also please don’t use us as a costume, don’t dress up as an asylum fugitive, don’t dress up in a straitjacket, and try to make sure your costume doesn’t play into any ableist stereotypes
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anexperimentallife · 10 months ago
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(I would love to add image descriptions to all my image posts, but hey, guess who is multiply disabled, chronically ill, working a full time writing job, AND trying to help care for a newborn? This guy!)
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wlfgrrl · a year ago
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limonsuggestions · 3 months ago
it’s ok if you need meds to function, even if your condition is chronic and you will have to take them your whole life.
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waaytoopoor · a year ago
I just want to leave like I never existed.
I don’t want anyone to remember me,
I don’t want to hurt anyone.
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insomniasmuse · 6 months ago
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nightskiesblamkey · 4 months ago
mmm since we’ve been researching this the past few days: (putting them in simplest terms)
mania - a period of being unstably elated to the point you may need to be hospitalized (a manic episode is usually a week or more). this may include not sleeping, engaging in dangerous behaviors, having extreme trouble focusing, and everything listed in hypomania
hypomania - a period of being elated to the point others notice. this may include speaking faster, being restless, difficulty sleeping, difficulty concentrating, engaging in reckless behaviors, higher sex drive.
bipolar disorder - a disorder where you have at least one manic episode and depressive episode with in your life. usually a (hypo)manic episode is followed by a depressive episode. (bipolar 1 is full mania and bipolar 2 is hypomania)
depression - a condition characterized by feeling sad, losing interest and motivation, changes in appetite, changes in sleep, and brain fog for at least two weeks
depressive episode - feeling sad, losing interest and motivation, changes in appetite, changes in sleep, and brain fog for at least a week, usually closer to two months
borderline personality disorder - a disorder when you have repetitive extreme mood swings, difficulty maintaining relationships, and feeling worthless.
borderline episode - when you have a negative mood swing and feel a lot of emotions. this often leads to suicidal thoughts and sh. usually lasts less than 24 hours.
hyperfixation - when you neurodivergent ppl get a crumb of serotonin from something/hj /lh. when a nd person becomes so interested in something they have difficulty doing anything aside from that and it consumes their thoughts, may cause a loss of sleep or healthy behaviors. (usually 3 hours to 3 days, although variation) (adhd)
special interest - a long term fascination for with something that brings an incomparable amount of serotonin. often the focal point of someones thoughts. (usually a week to lifelong) (autism)
sensory overload - when your mind cannot process a lot of sensory input and it becomes difficulty to focus and interact with others. (nd)
depersonalization - feeling disconnected from yourself, watching yourself in third person
derealization - feeling disconnected from reality, may be related to an existential crisis
anxiety attack - a longer feeling of overwhelming anxiety, usually with a certain cause
panic attack - a short feeling of unbelievable fear and pain, often compared to a heart attack. often with no determinable cause or because of a trigger.
compulsion - a behavior you have to do or you feel fear or panic (usually with ocd as a result of an obsession)
tic - a behavior you cannot control, often jerky body movements or saying something
stim - a stimulating behavior that feels good, you can stop and just feel kind of disappointed or upset
not a mental health professional just a lot of time and anxiety
edit: check the notes if you'd like to read about other people's thoughts and changes that could be made! (i think we got a couple things wrong and they explained it much better than we can)
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kolezankajezusa · 13 days ago
przez chwile była euforia a teraz znów z hukiem uderzam w dół
bipolar disorder
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mentalhealth---awareness · a year ago
Friendly reminder that if you are mentally ill or neurodiverse in some way and can’t work: it’s not your fault. You are not a failure or less worthy than people who work. The workplace is inherently ableist and tends not to accommodate people with mental health conditions of any kind and it is not your fault that it is this way or that your condition makes it harder for you to work than someone who doesn’t have it.
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softyin · a year ago
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catgirlapologist · a month ago
no but we gotta talk about how the way y’all reduce “neurodivergent” to just mean autism and adhd erases and harms other neurodivergent groups. neurodivergency encompasses SO many different conditions like ocd, schizospec disorders (schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, etc), personality disorders, bipolar disorder, tourette’s, dyslexia, dyspraxia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia and countless others. we all have a lot of experiences in common but all of these groups have their unique experiences as well. however, when neurodivergency and the oppression neurodivergent people face is discussed in online spaces, all of these other conditions barely get acknowledged. yes, our experiences aren’t all the same but we do have lots of things in common and it feels both frustrating and othering to see that get dismissed. when you say “neurodivergent” when you only mean autism and adhd you erase other nd groups from their own community by not taking their experiences into account. 
a lot of these conditions are already heavily demonized and othered, and seeing us be erased from our own community is hurtful. often we get treated as if the oppression we face based on our neurodivergency isn’t as severe as the oppression autistic people and people with adhd face based on their neurodivergency. the notion that the oppression we face is not as severe actively harms us because it dismisses our struggles and therefore enables our oppression.
please make sure to keep other neurodivergent conditions in mind when you talk about neurodivergency and don’t just reduce it to mean autism and adhd
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anexperimentallife · a month ago
Among the more ridiculous bits of disk horse I've seen recently is the assertion that neurodivergent and mentally ill folks using spoon theory is "appropriating" terminology from physically disabled folks.
And listen, as a Certified Cripple(TM) who also happens to be a Certified Mentally Ill(TM) and a Certified Neurodivergent(TM), that may not be QUITE the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, but it's close.
If spoon theory helps you describe your situation, use it. If anyone complains, stab them with a fork.
As for fully abled NTs using it, idgaf. Unless someone can give me a compelling reason why spoon theory shouldn't be normalized, I'm fine with it, as long as they get where it comes from and grok that they (generally, but not always) start each day with a shitload more spoons than we do.
Like, if a fully abled NT friend were to tell me their partner ditched them, their mom was in the hospital, they lost their job, they failed am important exam, and they didn't have the spoons to make themselves dinner, the LAST thing I'm gonna do is clutch my pearls about them using spoon theory. More like, "Come on over, homie; I got some leftover adobo in the fridge, and you can vent all you want while we eat and watch Ponyo."
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