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#biromantic ace
scretladyspider · 9 months
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Asexual and aromantic are not “spicy straight trying to be special LGBT”.
This argument, much like “you’re not really bi/pan if you are with someone of the opposite gender”, asks for visibly performative queerness then ignores the inherent queerness in these experiences.
If being straight is being allosexual, heterosexual, heteroromantic, alloromantic, and cisgender, all at once, then a person only needs to not be one of these to call themselves queer if they want to.
This always ruffles feathers, but..cishet isn’t the inherent opposite of queer.
Allosexual — not ace or under its umbrella
Alloromantic — not aro or under its umbrella
cisgender — aligning with your gender assigned/designated at birth
Heterosexual— sexual attraction to the opposite gender
Heteroromantic — romantic attraction to the opposite gender
If all aces and aros were cishet, which we’re not but just for the sake of this example, how would this detract from the queerness inherent in asexuality and aromanticism? Each are complex spectrums of a fundamentally different experience than the world teaches us we should have.
Aces, aros, and bi/pan people in “straight passing” relationships are often lumped into cishet as a way of delineating “not queer”, regardless of other factors. But this dismisses queerness and asks for specific, unnamed perimeters to be met for it to be recognized.
When presented with ways that experiencing little to no sexual attraction, or little to no romantic attraction, are in fact in opposition with the expectation for everyone to have both (allonormativity and amatanormativity or amanormativity respectively), people don’t accept it. Or rather, they don’t accept it as a thing on its own. Sometimes this means getting treated as if you’re just trying to be edgy, as if proclaiming you’re part of a marginalized group gives social media clout or something. Other times it’s just not treated as enough on its own by other queer people.
This happens in ace and aro spaces too. Cishet is used often as shorthand for “not queer”, directly pushing away aspecs who may be cishet and also ace and/or aro. It doesn’t seem intentionally exclusionary, but unintended exclusion is still exclusion.
This reflects, also, the expectation of performative queerness that is thrown at bi and pan persons both in and out of queer spaces. There are also many aces and aros who are bi and pan, and who may or may not be cisgender.
The reality however is there is no way to “perform” queerness that is satisfactory to all who demand it. The result this odd sort of existence where when one appears queer “enough”, that is used as weaponry against them, but when it isn’t, it’s used to exclude queer people from queerness.
And the real kicker is asexual and aromantic are enough. Bi/pan folks are still their orientation regardless of what their relationship looks like. Gender is it’s own thing, separate from the others, but related because this all ends up being a pile of queer identity spaghetti.
Regardless of how queer a person appears to you, or if you understand their individual experience… Ace is enough. Aro is enough.
The demand for performative queerness is used to try to defend from harm, but it ends up attacking anyone not visibly queer enough to the beholder.
We need to be more explicitly inclusive — especially in our own spaces, but also outside of them when talking about how queerness operates. If someone else’s queerness makes your idea of queerness more complicated, that’s not a bad thing. Learn from that, and let them be.
If you see someone is ace or aro and then see they’re more like you than you thought they could be, or that they don’t engage with it how you expected, that’s not a reason to be exclusionary. It’s a reason to try to expand what you include in your idea of queer.
Once, you needed someone to include you to feel comfortable in your queerness.
Set your ego aside and extend a hand to those you don’t quite understand. Be inclusive. Especially if someone’s relationship to their queerness challenges what you thought was possible.
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thank you again for reading and remember to be inclusive! Other queer people are not your enemy. have a nice day!
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hoolay-boobs · 7 months
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Biromantics are so precious. I love my bi + ace siblings. Reblog to give a biromantic a bowl of hot clam chowder, like to give them little saltine crackers to crush up and sprinkle over their soup
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aspec & arospec character icons for pride month: part 1 feat. 👁️ mr spooky eye avatar himself! 👁️
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brave-little-pauper · 10 months
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Biromantic Ace Luigi Icons
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larphis · 10 months
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Being a biromantic-asexual is literally hell because it feels like going to a grocery store where they only sell bananas and apples and you love both but you are also allergic to both of them.
So you ask one of the minimum wage teenage employees if you could perhaps only hold the apple and appreciate it without buying and eating it but they just stare at you and say “sir/ma’am, this is a grocery store, not a zoo. There are actual paying customers here”
So you just go home alone and eat some good ol’ garlic bread.
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lightasthesun · 2 years
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I love women in all ways except sexually.
Blows a kiss to women.
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joellesolo · 1 year
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You guys, check out the pride octopus @monkeymeghan made me 🥺 IT’S SO STINKING CUTE AND SHE MADE IT SO FAST! I love it so much 😭
💜🤍🖤
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autismmydearwatson · 1 year
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Happy Ace Day to YOU!!!! SNIPS!!!! YOU DONT HAVE A TUMBLR BUT ALL OF TUMBLR WILL KNOW HOW I LOVE THEE
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almost-emerald-eyes · 9 months
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closeted queer teen culture is singing the line "but I can't see straight anymore" in just dance by lady gaga louder than the rest of the song
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rynwanders · 1 year
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i need someone to kiss so i can leave lipstick stains on their cheek
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dgrpprideflags · 1 year
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other biroace flag picked from kyoko kirigiri!
requested by: @sweeterthansucrose
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@aspecpridecalendar Day 26: alloace
Alice Johnson from Let's Talk About Love (2018)
Alice is about to ace this whole dating thing.
Joy from The Romantic Agenda (2022)
When it comes to love, she's got an ace up her sleeve.
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hoolay-boobs · 6 months
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Power couple. They’ll burn your house down together.
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airbendertendou · 2 years
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seeing these pride memes / icons made me want to make my own so!! fellow aces, this one’s for you <3
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jimmymcchill · 2 years
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biromantic ace culture is wanting kim and jimmy to let me scheme with them during the day and watch old movies together eating thai food on the sofa at night
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larphis · 7 months
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Point 100 of being a biromantic-asexual that sometimes sucks:
I like to simp so hard for certain people that sometimes I like to use terms or expressions like „smash“
What people don‘t understand about that is, however, that by „smash“
I do not mean „I want to have sex with that person“
I mean „I want to wrap that person in a blanket, cook them a cup of tea and talk about our feelings and afterwards take a long walk on the beach while we are being touched by nothing but the moonlight on our faces and the overwhelming joy in our hearts“,
but since that is too long and too strong of a feeling to actually describe in one word I often say „smash“ instead.
So if you ever hear an ace person say „smash“ or a similar expression that is usually linked to sexual attraction please don‘t try to invalidate us:
Sadly there are enough simple words in the English language to express a strong wish of having sex with someone but barely any that describe the feeling of longing for someone’s companionship and platonic love.
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