#bit by bit happy becomes more and more involved in the avengers business — he doesn't have a suit but he has street experience
SteveTony Weekly - June 12th
Happy Sunday!! Here’s what I read this week. Be sure to leave your author a comment or kudos if you enjoy a story!
***Marks my recent favorites
~*~
all warm-blooded creatures by nanasekei
From a very early age, Steve Rogers was aware that he was going to die of cold.
Four Legs and No Tail by KandiSheek
Tony comes home to find his boyfriend locked behind a glass door and walking on all fours. Apparently Steve thinks he's a wolf for some reason.
Life as an Avenger never gets boring, does it?
Just Into You by NotEvenCloseToStraight
In which Tony and Steve meet cute and sort of awkward because it’s fanfiction, Steve is not into guys but he’s definitely into Tony because who the hell isn’t, NatBucky are the scariest murder couple in the world who give zero (0) f*cks about whether or not Steve thinks he’s straight, Sam is quite literally the Least Helpful and Tony is a sassmaster sweetheart with big brown eyes, a ridiculously pretty mouth and the hots for Big, Blonde and Beautiful.
There will be awkward laughs and cheesy moments and movie nights and dry humping (holla!) and a rather generous dose of Gay Panic on Steve’s part and maybe a teaspoon of angst (but that’s why we have a Murder Couple) and then of course, a happily ever after because our boys deserve the best.
Pinky Promise by Tahlruil
Steve wasn't looking for a relationship not really - dating was fun and he was busy learning how to adult properly. A chance encounter with Tony, who's even worse at grocery shopping than he is, has the potential to change all that. The meeting feels significant, even if he could never imagine where it would end up taking him.
Tony, meanwhile, was pretty happy with his string of one night stands and no feelings involved relationships. Despite being pushed of of the nest - he suspects Jarvis of giving his mother ideas - he's really not interested in becoming a real adult. Steve makes him want more for the first time ever, and even if it terrifies him, he's willing to see where it goes.
So Little Left to Give by Sineala
Steve's alive again... but Tony isn't anywhere to be found. Steve knows what to do about that. His quest to find Tony takes him to the frozen depths of Russia, to rescue Tony from one of his greatest foes. But that's not all he has to contend with. Tony's in the process of deleting his own brain, and Steve doesn't know if the man he finds will still remember him.
Constructs in Progress by Muccamukk
In the seven territories built out of the ruins of New York City, no one has managed to match Tony Stark as either a technologist or a unicorn rider. But when Tony's secrets come back to haunt him, even Captain Rogers and his mysterious lover might not be able to save him, or the city.
A Snowball's Case in Hell by shetlandowl
This is a story about Steve Rogers, who puts his preferred world of fashion and modeling behind to enroll in Harvard Law School to show a former boyfriend (and prospective fiancé) that he is capable of being "serious."
I Hate You: A Love Story by FestiveFerret
Tony had honestly been stunned that his "Wanna fuck?" line had actually worked, but tasting Steve's desperation on his tongue now, it made a bit more sense. All Tony wanted was a handful of that muscular ass and a look at the abs he'd seen a hint of under Steve's painted-on shirt.
All the World's a Stage by jellybeanforest
Steve Rogers, star of the hit series “Captain America,” has the perfect life. With two Emmys under his belt, a spot on the list of People’s Sexiest Man Alive, and a very public whirlwind romance with his gorgeous costar, Peggy Carter, most would say his life is damn near perfect.
Too bad it’s all as fake as the character he plays on TV.
In reality, Steve is gay, lonely, and spends his free time getting his rocks off to camboys. It’s not quite enough, but it has to suffice. For now.
And then one day, production hires a new day player, Tony Stark, who bears a striking resemblance to his favorite camboy, Ironman…
Yeah. Steve is so fucked.
Leaping Headlong by tsukinofaerii
Peggy shows up after nearly seventy years, alive, young and sporting a nifty bionic arm. The very first thing she does is try to kill Tony. Then things get awkward.
Dreaming by Sunlight by magicasen
Norman Osborn is defeated, the Avengers are reassembled, and Steve takes up the mantle of Captain America once again. With his team, and Iron Man, back at his side, Steve feels like he can take on the entire world.
As it turns out, that's just what happens.
If You Want A Life Of Action by runningondreams
Steve wants to start up the Avengers again, and it’s not like Tony can tell him no. There's a lot to do after the Raft breakout, after all: The new team needs work, villains need catching and there’s a missing superhero to find. And that’s not even counting his work on the armor, his projects for SI, or making sure Steve doesn’t disappear to sulk endlessly in his apartment. When they start trying to add romance to the mix it’s really a miracle things go so well for so long.
The Truths We Hide by iam93percentstardust
When Loki casts a truth spell on Tony, he has to figure out how to break the curse before it kills him - and before he tells Steve how much he loves him. But maybe... just maybe, telling Steve isn't such a bad idea after all.
The Highwayman Comes Riding by BladeoftheNebula, superdecibels
“Captain, fancy seeing you here at such a late hour.”
“This is becoming a common occurrence. If I didn't know better, I’d think you were doing it on purpose.”
“What a scandalous accusation,” Tony told him in a haughty tone. “Can a man not travel the roads in the middle of the night without being harassed?”
The idea that one Tony Stark, son of the late Lord Stark, would be in the habit of consorting with a criminal would no doubt spread through the town like wildfire if anyone found out, but he couldn’t seem to stop.
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Avengers: College Edition
Steve: Criminal Justice and Studio Art double major. He doesn't want to torture himself with anything difficult and still wants to study what he loves. He is still an over achiever though. Highkey hates frat parties, saw someone twerking upside down and almost cried but stayed because hes the designated driver (responsible KING). prefers small get togethers with his friends. Roommates with sam and bucky!! Joins Criminal Justice club, jokingly rivals with Engineering (Tonys Club) Everyone on campus loves him including the professors, wins Homecoming king and is very happy. Sam jokingly asks to be his queen, Bucky butts in and says "NO, im his queen". Can be found in the library or art studio, usually with ink or pencil markings on his hands.
Tony: Obvi an engineering KING has physics as a minor. procrastinates to the max "No Bruce I have everything under control" *crams for 46 hours straight on a constant IV drip of Redbull and coffee* Super smart and helps draw the blueprint for the new engineering building. Roomies with Bruce! Tony was in a frat for a bit his freshmen year but hated it and wanted real friends (Throws better parties anyway) met Bruce and all the other avengers during a 1301 intro class. Pulls women like no tomorrow. On the presidents list every semester and tutors math for free on the side. He is basically the Dad in STEM. Tries hitting on Natasha but she is just like :/ nah, when her and bruce start dating tony is surprised because bruce is his "quiet little cinnamon roll." Tony constantly teases bruce and is like "yall fuckin (;" Steve butts in "tONY PLZ I JUST WANT TO WATCH THIS MOVIE" Bruce is thankful for steves intervention. You know how he rivals Steves Criminal Justice club? He butts heads with Business Clubs leader (Pepper) until everyone catches them together at a party. Has a caffeine addiction. Works out with Thor and Bucky one day in the rec and almost dies.
Bruce: Physics and Engineering double major (Hardworking KING) In math club with Vision and Wanda. He loves being roomies with Tony because it helps him out of his shell. Likes to draw with Steve sometimes and enjoys the quiet. Doesn't procrastinate and gets things done in a timely manor. 4.0 icon we all strive to be. Him and Nat already know each other, but bond and get a lot closer while studying in the library and they eventually start dating. He takes her coffee when she works across campus and is always almost late to class because of that (He doesn't care though bc thats his BABY) "Um.. Bruce your class is in 5 minutes" "Okay and?.....Wait I have an ex-" *Sprints to his building* Takes boxing at night with Thor, Bucky, Sam and Steve!!! Loves sparring with Thor and can surprisingly take the big buy on pretty well. Gets his butt kicked by Natasha in a MMA class though.
Natasha: Majors in Criminal Justice and Minors in Psychology. Ballet club AND MOCK TRIAL!! Has a Job at the Criminal Justice Deans office and takes MMA classes on the side. She is on Mock Trial with Loki and they actually get along quiet well once they stop butting heads about the case. Introduces Sam and Wanda to dance and they have so much fun. Coffee dates with Bruce!! Her and Steve become RAs in the following years and are the coolest RAs you know. Prefers night classes, Bruce walks her to all of them. Psychology classes are her favorite and really wants to help children one day. Volunteers at a daycare during breaks. Sis can really out drink Tony and Thor. Puts Wanda under her wing and helps her with fafsa and what not. Her and Bucky get the Russian language credit by simply testing out. Has her sh!t together and while she has a lot on her plate she can take it. She is really the Mom of the group. Can be found dancing or with Bruce. Her and Clint are icons in psychology classes.
Clint: Deaf Studies with education minor! (we stan deaf clint in the comics) In the Archery club and wins nationals for the Uni. Loves to draw with Steve. Helps Bruce ask Natasha out! PRANK ICON! loves to do prank wars with tony, bucky, loki and sam. Was in the same frat with Tony but hated it as well. While he seems to have a more reserved demeanor he is still the life of the party. (Like he knows people at the clubs ya know?) Can get in anywhere and helps everyone rent out a club for the night in celebration of midterms being over. Loves reading in the library and loves morning classes and being productive early in the day. Cracks Tonys netflix and hulu passwords (no tony... tonyr0cks69 is not good enough) Wants to teach at a school for the Deaf. Bruce sets him up with a girl from engineering and that is his future wife.
Thor: Physical Education major and Communications minor! Here on a football scholarship and is in a frat (not the asshole one tony was in) and is a partying ICON. Tries to get Loki to party but Loki just wants to drink wine with the cat he snuck into his dorm. Learns Sign from Clint to prepare for his career in education. Loves working out with Bucky, Sam and Steve. Takes up boxing during football off season and spars with Bruce. Despite being everyones fav himbo he gets really good grades and is a very good writer. Loki dorms across the hall from him. Thor actually rooms with Peter. Peter is the freshman baby and Thor takes peter under his wing and introduces him to everyone and helps him with college stuff in general. Also hooks him up with MJ and brings him to the occasional boxing session. Has a loud booming laughter you can hear in all floors of the library when he sees a funny meme. One time he actually makes a very good point and notices a flaw in one of Tony and Bruces projects leaves everyone stunned. Picks on Loki in big brother fashion. Unironically calls weed the devils lettuce.
Loki: Pre-Law and Criminal Justice. LOVES to argue. (Devils advocate ass) In Mock Trial and Criminal Justice Club. Tony jokingly calls him steves sexy secretary in CJ club. Loves Mock Trial and is the president with Nat as his right hand woman. Sneaks a cat he found at the shelter into his dorm and names it muffin. Stays in the Library writing or going over cases. The one time he was taking Natasha a copy of the Mock Trial case packet and caught her and bruce smooching. (He screeched) "Haha funny joke yall heres the case packet BYE." He automatically texts the group chat "i think nAT AND BRUCE HAVE SOME TEA FOR US HMM". Lets Peter and Bruce come over to his dorm because he knows their roommates can get a little too much sometimes. Loki also becomes an avid twitter user and thats how he gains popularity on campus. (He called the uni out for their awful and expensive parking) Was able to convince the Dean with tony and steve to create a new parking lot. Caffeine addict!!! Him and Tony always bump into each other at the coffee shop. Brings baked goods to meet ups with the gang. Loves to play pranks (especially on Tony) Him and Bucky come up with a genius prank on him and even get pepper involved. Best dressed on campus and is in the fashion club. He is the embodiment of dark academia.
Sam: Criminal Justice Major with Aerospace Engineering minor. Gets introduced to Bucky and Steve during move in and they literally become brothers. Is both in Criminal Justice Club and Engineering Club. In the Historically Black Frat on campus and takes huge pride in that. Parties with tony and thor BIG TIME. Procrastinates by throwing paper airplanes at Bucky until Bucky is like "Um...dude your paper is due in like two hours." At that moment Sam got into work faster than he ever had. Loves gossip sessions with Loki and Wanda. Works out a lot with Bucky, Steve and Thor to get rid of stress. When he and Bucky finish a final they go to loki's dorm and ask "Hey can we see your cat." Helps prep food for friends-giving and decorates the dorm for holidays. HATES 8ams so so so much. Steve promises him pancakes if he gets up and goes. Binge watches shows during weekends and screams when Destiel is finally canon. Loves running and gets a Track Scholarship when Thor gets him to join a sport. Gets Peter to join track.
Bucky: criminal justice major and psychology minor. Buck is also in ballet club with Nat, it really helps him relax and gives him a free space to think (also he runs that shit like no ones business) Criminal justice club as well and LOVES to work out and box. One time Sam accompanies him to ballet and Bucky pushes Sam into a split... the scream was heard for miles. "Sam ballet is good for athletes it helps w-" "Yeah but its not good for my balls" Doesn't willingly procrastinate but once in awhile he will forget an assignment, you best believe his eyes will snap open from his nap and get to work asap. For one of his psyche labs he had to question Steve as if he were Steve's therapist to which Steve responds "Hey bro you dont have to hit a nerve that deep" He also likes to do dance with peter since it helps him get away from Thor for a bit. Not a big partier but once the weight of finals are off his chest you best believe he will go all out. Picks on Nat and says hes gonna steal her man, to which tony interjects and says "Not if I do first" Bucky also has a very comfy dorm, comfy lighting and tons of pillows, the man loves his sleep... and so does everyone else. Sometimes he finds peter, sam, THOR, tONY EVERYONE just napping in his bed before their study time. Overall, bucky is a smart boy and his time in college is kind to him.
Wanda: English Major and Education Minor. After being an orphan Wanda knows what it feels like to not have a parental figure there and she wants to change that for other kids by becoming an english teacher. She volunteers at an orphanage, specifically the one her and pietro were in for a brief moment when they came to the states. She loves to draw as well and takes plenty of art classes with steve. She paints a portrait of the entire gang and gives it to tony as a graduation present (he cried). She loves to do volunteer work for children and also spend a lot of time in the library, She helped Nat calm down before Bruce asked her out. Her and Loki are in constant competition for best dressed. "Loki ill let you win best dressed but you have to let me see your cat" "ugh fine... btw your shirt doesnt match your boots" "hEY" Her and Peter take alot of intro classes together and are constantly running around craft stores trying to get the right stuff for projects. Visits Vision at his Job on Campus and he visits her where she volunteers and eventually they start dating. She is constantly getting visited by pietro at 4am asking "Um do you have milk" "Pietro its 4am what do you ne-" "my OREOS"
Pietro: Track star business major, frat ICON with Thor. poor boy is STRESSED he hates college and is here on a track scholarship, constantly late and running around getting shit done. Queen of late assignments but still gets them graded because he is in Track. Yeah he has alot on his plate but he still parties with thor for hours. When he is drowning in assignments Clint is always there to help him, Bruce also helps him with biology and the more science-y classes. Likes to mess around and race sam at track practice. Not into coffee but will run on all the monster energy drinks you could possibly buy. Seriously is tired of 8 a.m courses, he just wants to nap after practice. Walks into the study room that everyone was in and actually looks more sleep deprived than tony. He gets a lot of tips from steve on how to have an easier time in college and it really helps him.
Vision: Grad student working on a civil engineering masters and a TA. Meets Wanda in the library and she asks him where the biographies are. He mistakenly says they are on the 2nd floor "Uh theyre actually on the third" "Then why did you ask?" "Cause I wanted to talk to you :)" He swooned. Through Wanda he met Tony and Bruce and became their best friend, He helped out a lot with engineering club and got them far. He spends a lot of time doing research for his masters degree, he loves relaxing with the group on weekends and picks on pietro as if he is already apart of the family. Him and Loki bond over intellectual conversations from time to time. Bruce and Nat go on double dates with him and Wanda. Went to a bar once with tony and bruce and had to stop tony from singing Queens entire discography, he had the best night that night. Helps everyone with getting into jobs and into grad school in general while everyone helps him let loose and have some fun.
Peter: Peter is a Physics major and eventually works his way up to biochemistry. (hardworking icon) He is the freshman baby of the group and is introduced to them through Thor. He dances with Buck and Nat sometimes as well. Tony obviously takes peter under his wing and helps him with assignments. One time everyone was in the same study room and him and pietro have a redbull shot gunning challenge. When Peter wins Thor picks him up and almost yeets the poor boy into the ceiling. "VERY WELL DONE YOUNG PARKER YOU SHOULD BE DOING THAT WITH BEER IN NO TIME." "Thor plz" Tony and Thor help him ask MJ out and even spy on them during a dinner date. (Imagine thor with sunglasses and a scarf around his head pretending to be tonys date) He feels so accepted in college because of the gang and gets all his work done on time. Goes out of his way to get everyone christmas presents and is so excited for friendsgiving. Becomes a little stressball during finals and midterms and stays in the library till it closes. He spots loki alot in there and helps loki with science classes while loki helps him with political science classes. He meets MJ through wanda and is obviously blushing the whole time while being introduced. Gets embarrassed when the guys flirt with aunt may. "guys plz stop" This is when Sam earns his "milf hunter" nickname. "Pete hows your aunt?" "She doesnt want you sam i-" its not like that... actually it is like that"
Coulson: Alumni Icon. Is the gangs Intro professor and is the reason why everyone meets eachother. (the class was chaotic indeed) Coulson loved that class so much and he still gets visited by everyone from time to time. He is obviously close with Nick. They were there that night when Tony was signing Queen at the bar and couldnt help but laugh.
Nick Fury: Dean for criminal justice and is heavily involved with criminal justice club and mock trial. He is tired of everyones shit as always. Makes a tiktok account for the criminal justice club and has no idea how to manage social media so gets Loki to help. Has to delete it when Loki commented "hah losers" on the engineering tiktoks page. He looks intimidating but in his office he has a picture with the club and has all the gifts he gets on display. (He even framed lokis comment because it was hilarious afterall)
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Normal Raichu's tail serves as a ground to avoid auto-shock, meaning this one is constantly frazzled from its own voltage.
Doesn't carrying his fat self hurt? Are they tears of liquid gold welling up from the strain?
Or is it the punishing light ever reflected, burning his black eyes blue and blind?
The modern obsession with softness, of symbolically filing down all corners as a message of intent, gets right on me wick.
Raichu had sharp ears and a jagged tail, being, you know, a bolt of lightning, but now he's as swollen and inflated as a balloon animal.
And what are these visible veins in his paws? Is he tapping 'em like Amy Winehouse in her bloodied-ballet-pump prime?
So 'getting high' doesn't mean levitation?
Hours of work went into this drastic image change of the same thing but with three hairs.
The Pokédex says he prefers a subterranean life, wilting under excessive heat, rendering him entirely suitable to thrive in the tropics.
Diglett's become a slaphead concealing the truth with an unconvincing comb-over.
Oh no! How shall I live in such a savage climate?
I know! Blond frizz in the midst of brown fur! That'll block heatstroke!
Dugtrio once featured in many a budding Trainer's squad, so beloved was Dig as the finest move around.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If hairy moles made the final games, what horrors were rejected?
Such beauty in the Kardashian family.
Sweaty proximity of triplets is a trial itself, but consider all the strands coming loose, wedged and itching in the crevices, yanked right from the roots by constant friction, wrapping round their necks like cheese wire, and you unable to brush the damp cascade away, on account of having No Bloody Arms.
Oooh, make yer beady eyes weep, it would, and Dugtrio daren't move in case it slits throats like razor blades.
Born to die garotting himself and all those he knows!
That's why Oasis were so furious.
Plus, Geodude carrying eight hairs gives the opposite impression: that of a baldy desperately clinging on to the last paltry vestiges of a once-crowning glory.
It'll be those iron filings you always see lying about.
There Geodude and Graveler go, ready to flaunt hirsute manliness to their bearded womenfolk, only for it to involve social disgrace in the shape of gorilla arms, sideburns, and monobrows.
Why stop there? Why are they not coated in spines like a furled hedgehog?
Now magnetic, iron ravished their bodies, meaning they also share the pain of moles in sprouting a wig.
But they're Electric, not Steel. Nature avenged Pikachu by removing their invincibility.
And that molten sun's only gone and fused their fingers together!
Geodude salvaged a single digit, but Graveler's gotta make do with mittens!
What hope for mere fleshy beings, when Alola weather melts stone?
It's gonna boil yer inter soup, man!
Even Pa, master of the art, would look enviously on such achievement.
That said, I feel for Lady Golems having a shave every morning.
A diet of electrical rocks somehow erased the Ground element, and with it the resistance enabling Golem to eat 'em in the first place.
But didn't he have more toes than that? And some arms?
Of the three, Golem boasts the best sense of style, proudly displaying a hairy shell passing for a chest, besides a most debonair moustache.
Oh! Removing his earthly powers now makes him vulnerable to electrocution. It's blackened and blown bits of him off!
How's Golem meant to go wee-wee with malformed stumps?!
That's not claws, that's the jagged splinters of his humerus bones.
Marowak died during evolution. Must've got bone cancer from all the radioactive Muks slithering about.
It's based on the ghost from Pokémon Tower.
Quaint bit of euphemism, using 'based' rather than 'ripped off'. Yer'd burst if troubled with an original idea.
Ah, memories: traipsing up the many levels of said stacked sepulchre, brandishing me trusty Silph Scope, ready to tackle whatever spectre blocked the stairs to the summit.
He's got No Bloody Arms!
There I becalmed Marowak's anger as her soul passed to Heaven.
It was special.
Well that's gone. Turns out Marowak was sucked into the septic tank of Alola instead.
Bit of a downer, assuming I'd gifted eternity, only for this humdrum retcon to saunter up, stripping away the mystery.
Has she not suffered enough, man?!
Anyway...
How can one murder matter to the breed living thousands of miles away?
And up til then, all Alolan Marowak looked normal, then mutated in tasteless tribute, with their weapons spontaneously combusting?
UV rays will be the death of us!
The bone wielded is from its mother. Her spirit acts as protection.
Eh? But Ghost Marowak was the dead mom. She can't be both bereaved child and maternal avenger, else Cubone didn't just lose Ma, but Nana too!
In my day we were happy with the simple pleasures, like wearing Momma's head, and we were glad of it.
I don't know why Millennials have a prissy reputation. It certainly wasn't like that in me youth.
I well recall sitting in the back of Pa T.A.P.'s car, looking out the window, and seeing two lads playing catch with a human skull, since we had to make our own entertainment then.
But oh no, that's not good enough for today's entitled kids, they dug up Momma's mouldering corpse and rifled through her vitals, because it's just take, take, take with them.
And what bone is that meant to be, so casually set alight? Femur?
How bloody big was she, man?! It's longer than Marowak's entire body!
Don't you lie to me! That's a human leg if ever I saw it.
Eee, it ain't half hot.
You can say that again.
I wish I knew a way to cool down.
Well I find growing another head outta me arse does the business.
Exeggutor shot up via the sunshine overload, but his bonus coconut is green, unable to ripen thanks to extreme temperatures.
Marowak's been raiding hospital bins for amputated limbs!
Make yer mind up!
All this time, Exeggutor's suffered a secret head in his arse, just bustin' to be free, and I was none the wiser?
Yer think yer know someone, and then BAM! It's upon yer: illusions shattered.
Am I to understand Proper Exeggutor's walking around belaboured by arse coconuts?
Yer can get cream for that. Modern medicine is a miracle.
And it's buried for eternity, unless exposed to equatorial light?
But that's precisely where the sun don't shine!
I assumed two Exeggcute merged into one face, but this is a sign the remaining couple are secreted somewhere.
Specifically in his arse.
Poor Exeggutor hasn't completed puberty yet. If we linger we may well witness the emergence of the final duo to complete the sextet.
Out of his arse.
Many Alolans consider this its ideal form.
I bet they do. Perverts.
Besides haemorrhoids, it's not so ideal when Eggy can't fit in the living room and has to sleep outside, or its neck snaps during hurricane season.
O Game Freak, thou knows not what thee do!
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