#bit sad i'll never write the sequel but at the same time i'm kind of over that sadness. it's a bit oh well

[twilight-deviant]

Do you have theories about what Maya did to Fisk in Echo’s finale? Also, do you plan to write more? I’d love a sequel of your AU where Fisk buys Matt from an abusive husband.

1. Thank you for interest in that AU. I won't say I'll never add to it, but I don't think I currently have enough ideas to continue. Maybe one day. Never say, "Never." But I am writing on another FiskMatt fic right now, if you're interested in it. I just hit a bit of writer's block, but I finally finished the next chapter. Should be up soon.

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2. You mean in the final confrontation when Maya used her new healing powers (the MCU will do anything but give Maya her comic ability) on Fisk? I do, yes! I guess you could almost say it was like a therapy speedrun. Hahaha.

I have Thoughts on a lot of how they wrote Fisk in Echo (some good, some bad), and I may make a larger post just to get my thoughts out of my head. (Instead of texting my friend a lot.) But I was happy with the choice they made to have Maya challenge Fisk emotionally instead of physically. She didn't want to kill him (again), but instead heal him from past pain, like her mother's spirit did for her.

It makes me think of this bit from an X-Men comic. (Don't mistake me for someone who knows a lot about X-Men. lol. Just a few things.) Pietro's daughter, Luna, has the ability to alter people's emotions. She think she is helping pop-pop Magneto (I refuse retconning that he isn't Wanda/Pietro's father) by making him let go of the negative and traumatic emotions associated with his past. But Magneto does not want to be "saved" from that pain and anger. It belongs to him and is a driving force in everything he does.

That but with Maya and Fisk.

She still cares for the good parts of him she loved, and she wanted to be the bigger person and help him instead of hurt him further. I think it might even be empathetically motivated. It felt good when Taloa healed Maya from her emotional pain, and she thought it would help Fisk to do the same.

So when Fisk went on about how the trauma of an abusive childhood shaped him and motivated him, Maya thought if she could remove those negative emotions and get him to embrace her, let go of the hammer/violence/pain, it would help Fisk be less inclined towards evil in the now. In a sense, it might "cure" him.

But like with Magneto, it's not what Fisk wanted. He needs that anger and violence to be who he is. He doesn't want to be saved from it, not even for Maya. That's why he screamed, "I am not who you want me to be!" (Sad line, btw.) As if she wants to scrape away the "bad parts" of him and leave behind a better version. Fisk denies that he is or can be that person. (We love self-aware characters.)

It's not explicitly confirmed in the psychic vision of his childhood bedroom (*chef's kiss* for that choice of setting) if he does relinquish the hammer to her. The scene cuts away to reality. But you kind of get the sense that maybe he did, given his reaction.

I love how genuinely unsettled he appears for the rest of the episode. Like the ground collapsed beneath his feet, and he's trying to reconcile what his own emotions mean anymore.

Sitting in his plane, distractedly rubbing his fingertips together, as he is wont to do in times of unease. (Can't gif right now.)

So I'm not completely certain if Maya "turned off" the origin of all his anger, but it does sort of feel that way, right?

I don't doubt he'll once more be the unhinged anger man we love when we get to DD: Born Again, but I would love to see a small character arc where Fisk has to forcibly retake his rage or else lose all efficacy. (Something legitimately dangerous when you have as many enemies as he does.) I think it could be really, really good if they follow up with something like that.

#Long Post #Don't ask me a question about Fisk unless you want the long answer #LOL #Don't necessarily want to tag with the series because I get the feeling very few people in that fandom care about Fisk #But the show hasn't even been out for a week and I'm not not going to tag #Echo #Echo Spoilers #If anyone tries to hate Fisk on my post (exception: good faith debate) Imma block you #I don't need or want that negativity #Wilson Fisk #Kingpin #Daredevil #(That one's for my blog and my poor followers' blacklists lol) #And any Fisk material goes under the DD tag #Ask #Anonymous

[birinboom]

biriiiiinnnnnnn 💞 6, 16, 25, 41, 75 (for my fav, "Just Maybe" ofc!!!)

Thank you so much for your ask, Jess!! 💖💖💖

6. Do you have your work beta'd? How important is it to your process?

I rarely do... It's happened a couple of times. but I don't have a set beta-reader and I feel kind of bad asking my moots to beta unless I feel really insecure about a fic. Everybody is so busy. I ought to do it more though, me being ESL means that I occasionally have a weird way of phrasing things...

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Too many to count! 🤣 I have well over 20 WIPs that need some work. But since we're going to be talking about Just Maybe later, I can bring up the kinda-sequel/rewriting of the ending I'm trying to write for it. I was never fully happy with the ending but I just wanted the fic finished, so I'll be remedying that with a more detailed ending.

25. What fic do you wish you got more of a response on?

All of them tbh. I rarely get a lot of feedback other than likes/kudos

41. Do you tend to re-read fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

It's rare that fics (or any form of storytelling, really) leaves enough of an imprint on me that I want to go back and experience it again. For a lot of fics I read them, I like and reblog, or kudos and leave a comment, and then I completely forget I ever read it. It's a shame really, but my memory is like a holey sieve, nearly everything slips through the gaps. That said, I ought to go back and re-read some of my faves.

75. What scene in [Fanfic Name] took the longest to write? What was difficult about it.

I think both the break up and the getting back together scene of Just Maybe took equally long. The break up scene was rough 'cause I don't like the idea of the reader making Kiri sad on purpose, but it was something that needed to happen. I also struggled a bit with Kiri's reaction. He's already mourning his long term relationship ending, he wants to fix it and realizing that he cannot. And I wanted to make sure that he stayed in character; I didn't want him to get overly possessive or aggressive - the breakup had to be a mutual decision or the getting back together part wouldn't have felt right.

And that was my whole point of writing that fic; I wanted to write an exes-to-lovers fic (another part of why I'm not satisfied with the ending, they never get back to being lovers again) so getting back together had to be a mutual want as well as a healthy decision. It wouldn't work if the same issues of Kiri never being home, and the reader feeling like a second choice kept cropping up. There had to be some major change, so it took some planning out.

Get to know your fic writer ask game

#ask #alastairwaytosanity #a11eya #lovely moots💖

[lemari-be]

So, I've read the latest chapter. Stayed up 'til 4am, but it was worth it. Gotta say, the whole endgame vibe with so many art pieces you' ve made really spells closure, and I'm sad. Happy to see the fic soon in full, but sad that I won't see updates again.

Problems are a part of life, and frankly, if we didn't have any problems and had nothing to complain about, life would be pretty damn boring. I kinda see that applied in your fic. Some things will get resolved, some new crap will appear, some wounds may reopen ocasionally, but hey, that's okay. It's...realistic. Not morbid or depressing, but a well established fact, and seeing it actually applied and shown here is... cathartic. It actually shows that these characters have a life. And that had drawn me to keep reading. It's just... life. Maybe it doesn't make sense, but sometimes real things make no sense at all. So yeah, I've enjoyed it.

Also, this is a wild guess, but I have this little feeling that you're projecting a bit on Hero. Dunno why, just a hunch. Some of his thoughts...really hit home. Maybe just all students feel that way or something.

Good night, you have some rest after writing this chapter, y'hear?

You know, writing this fic has kept me company for so long that it feels kind of bittersweet for me to know the next one I'll be working on is the final one. I'll let you in on a little secret. I may or may have not hinted two oneshots (or two-three chapter length stories) that I will be writing after I finish Bask, in the latest chapter :) It won't be a sequel of course, but one will definitely be taking place after the events of Bask, and the other is a story that I couldn't really fit in the actual fic because it's mostly fun times with the boys.

As long as the fic allowed me to do so, I tried to be realistic with things, but I never really tried to force it to be that way. Some things remaining unresolved etc happened naturally in writing, but I think it's better than everything to be... perfectly okay? I feel like it'd feel a bit cheap, or maybe the actual things our characters have achieved wouldn't have as much of an impact despite being so important. So yes, what you're saying is definitely applied in my fic :) I'm really glad you've enjoyed that part in the story. While I do try not to make everything overly depressing and add lots of fluff, we have to remember that even the smallest things to someone might be a huge success for someone else.

About Hero. I wasn't expecting reading this and oh boy did what you pointed out had me a bit stunned heh. I'll say it now, it's not just a hunch, what you said. Hero is honestly the character I relate to the most for so many reasons and ironically, maybe it's the reason I had the hardest time writing his parts in the story. Of course we gotta keep in mind, that is to how I've translated him as a character in general. The way I've written him in this fic is exactly how I felt like he is as a person, I don't like to self-insert in my stories, it wasn't the reason this is why I wrote him this way. So with that out of the way, yup. What you said here is true in any case, and especially in the latest chapter (the flashback segment) got quite personal. I like to think it's not every student that feels this way though... While I do believe Hero is trying his best anyway, going to med school was more to appease his parents expectations, same with why he mostly went along with whatever they ask him to do. He's a good guy by nature, but you gotta say 'no' too, because regret is a hell of its own.

Thank you again :) And I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! I'll definitely be getting some rest – well, with exams coming up, as much as I can anyway lmao You take care of yourself too, and I'll see you on the next and final one!

[hua-fei-hua]

hehe tagged by @lyrebirds-writes to pick my three fave fics i've written n chat abt why!! ty finn~~

Orchid in Bloom - bnha | todomomo/kamijirou/kiribaku | T | 85.7k (complete)

oh, orchid my beloved. i feel a little silly including a bnha work here bc i’ve absolutely completely overhauled my identity to jjk on this blog but WHAT can i SAY except that it is, to date, the best thing i have ever written? it has everything i like. the slow burn main pair romance, the side pairings and their character arcs that affect the narrative, the symbolism, and??? this baby has themes, man. theeeeemeeeessss. i still reread bits from time to time to lose myself in the prose. also writing it has opened the doors to a couple online friendships, so i really owe it a lot hahaha.

don't you hate it when the teacher says it'll only be twelve questions - soul eater | soma/tsustar/kidliz/oxkim | T | 10.0k (complete)

oh so this started out as a request from my bff nat to write something inspired by this pokespe fic called Question 7 and a Half by the now inactive Starran. the basic premise is that in order to graduate, the kids have to take a test, and so shenanigans ensue. i had a blast planning this out with nat like... four years ago now? was it really that long ago? three and a half, probably, and it ended up a loooot longer than i expected, but i did reread it a couple times since publishing and it is so dumb and i love it so much.

the diner at the end of the night - jjk | platonic itafushikugi | T | 8.3k (complete)

i think initially i was just content to have this be a silly little idea i threw at @stardust-make-a-wish over discord, but then my laptop broke down at the start of the year, so i just went ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and started writing it by hand in my tiny notebook hehehe. the first half of this fic was composed entirely handwritten, for reference. it’s based on this silly story my high school physics teacher told us about himself when he was in college. i feel like i really nailed the dynamics between the first year trio, and the humor hits really well, too. i think it’s a solid reflection of the work i’ve put into my comedic style over the last year, and just overall i had a ton of fun with it.

tagging @cece-0708 @sawamura-daichis-thighs and @lunar-resonance if you have the time~

#tag games #and ofc if you wanna do it too go ahead and say i tagged you but everyone knows everyone here is too anxious to ever do that #nat was also involved in the making of orchid and the diner fic #nat was the one who helped refresh me on a lot of the details of the diner story #and she was my soundboard for a lot of orchid #i started calling myself hua bc someone under orchid asked if they could call me fei or smth n i was like 'nah go for hua' #and a lot of people praised the nuance with which i approached chinese culture to which i say thank u it is my heritage #bit sad i'll never write the sequel but at the same time i'm kind of over that sadness. it's a bit oh well

[paulamehy]

Back when I was younger, I did label things that I like and things I hate. Identified things that I thought I don't need and those I needed from what the society approves. And as I age, I realized that categorizing things only will lead you to disappointment because you can't always get everything that you like. Whether you want it to be part of your life or not, you have no choice but to accept that one's existence doesn't only consists of beautiful things.

And as I realized that, I became aware of my entity as well. I only binded my sight on something that gives light, I was so positive that everything that surrounded me was capable of dropping things that I hate without me knowing that it will become part of my life in the future. I despise myself for having that way of thinking.

As much as possible I want to be in a role where I'm the most loved by everyone. I remember in my childhood days, amongst my friends I always choose cartoon character that I knew had the greatest and biggest role in the show, character that was pretty, kind, lovable, friendly, cheerful and in the main lead. And in real life, I have tons of friends because I don't want to look loner, I show off my talents to make people embrace me as a special one, I'm cheerful up-front because it's what made me being remembered, and in a circle I wanted to be the main lead. I gained people and I want to be accepted by them to the means of flaunting every qualified aspects that I have and even some that I didn't have. And the fact that I did those only because I thought they're all I needed, and it's what the society said.

I was loved because I chose to be loved; because I chose to be happy.

But I slowly became conscious about myself. Realization hits me that I'm not pretty enough, I don't have perfect body, I do and I love weird things that people might find offensive and awful, I'm smart but I'm lazy, neglectful and klutz, I have lots of sexual fetishes and addiction that can't be accepted by norm if you're a female, I'm a sadist, I always had lewd thoughts, I'm sympathetic but sometimes it's done half-hearted, I'm aggressive, warfreak and manipulative. I'm overconfident that I can manipulate people and feelings towards me forever because I was able to.

Those rascal traits of mine were flaunted after years ago, and to suprised that there was someone who still accepted me for who I am. I was the happiest person that time and I believe that nothing in this world can ever replace those memories.

But this is not a romance journal.

Until the darkness that I never thought I'll encounter came out.

People are saying that it is one's choice if they want to be happy. I started to lose my sanity the time that I became self-conscious, I became so insecure and anxious and I always compare myself to others because I felt that I'm not enough and unworthy to extent of me being disappointed with myself.

Those "just be happy" kind of statements will never work out.

And because I'm studying Psychology that time so I have hints on what's going on with me. I had some short time dealing with mania and depressive episodes, or I'm being sad and anxious for awhile but always end up being fine because there's someone who's taking care of me and making sure that everything's alright. It really worked out for several years and I think that was already my happy ending that doesn't need to be extended with any other person anymore.

Sequels are unnecessary in real life.

However, I can't blame that someone for looking for another party to love because I sucked at being lovable, I knew that it's because he was fed up and been tired of understanding this thing that even me can't understand. I just hate myself and that everyone else is better than me.

Apart from that, my parents eventually got separated due to third party. And for me, it is understandable that the one just fell out of love. Is it? I can't think of anything else to feel aside from accepting the reality and move on and besides, they are still my parents. But it really hurts a lot, so much that I can't find any definition from dictionary on how to describe how I felt.

Anguish.

But I can't come to hate every single person around me. I never called it "betrayal" because in the end I still blame it to myself. I lost most of the important persons in my life together with my trust in everything. In those people who believe that it's not my fault, I somehow dug for the reasons why I should blame myself.

I believe that I was hit by karma because I've done so much filthy things for the past few years that I can never put into words.

I really can't help myself but to cry to sleep every night, overdid everything to escape the reality that I'm now alone and in this miserable state. I became detached with the things that I used to love before such as singing, writing, reading and drawing as all I did for living is to work.

I tried different coping mechanisms. I used different people, been used by different people. Been in a bar every other day until I lose my consciousness. Beaten myself to job and repeat. I often found myself in hospital or clinic due to fatigue and other sickness and I just cry as I pity myself.

That's when I realized that I've been clinging to other people for happiness to the point that being alone agonized me so much. I can't calm myself anymore because in the first place it's not me who is pacifying myself everytime I'm having horrible thoughts, considering that I hated my existence to death.

My depressive episodes gotten worst, I started cutting my wrist, face and legs to reduce the pain which I never did before, I also tried overdosing myseIf using my medicines but I only ended up being asleep for two days and been drowsy, I was so insane that I even went to different place and decided to drown myself, but I was caught up by the guard.

As expected, I was diagnosed with Manic-Depression/Bipolar Disorder 10 months ago, and in 6 months I was in the process of medication, been taking psychotic, antidepressant drugs and such which made me numb and apathetic up to present. Those who knew about my horrible situation were only my previous colleagues. I somewhat managed to hide this from my family.

Several months ago, I started to weigh down some things to refresh my mind. I tried to survive on my own. I quit school, I moved to different workplace, been independent, cut ties with other people and I started to change some of my coping mechanisms.

I thought that those are the best things to do, but I knew to myself that its only because I want to run away from everything. I've tried too many coping mechanisms and escape was only the last option. Inever regret those things that I did in the past, but I felt that I need to put myself together for a bit. I don't have any plans on making myself better neither heal myself from the pain. I'll just exist and to my job right for the rest of my life.

It's been 6 months since I decided to slowly compose myself, I can't tell whether I'm completely recovered or what and I don't want to be complacent. I'm still on the same track, my thought are still bleak, I'm not happy neither sad, I don't feel anything towards everything literally and emotionally probably because of the medicines I'm currently taking. I'm coming to work for survival, I only have 1 friend that I can talk to with regard to office stuff, I am not standing out with anyone, a lowkey. I'm not accepting any courting or flirting. As much as possible I don't want to involve myself in infatuation. I changed every single aspects, habits, beliefs and behaviors that I can, and unexpectedly I was able to attain 6 months of not drinking any liquor. It doesn't make any sense but I feel like testing myself again.

I also created my bucket list that I want to fulfill before killing myself. But I just hope that I'll die without doing any self-infliction as I don't want to make any sin anymore.

The only trait that I knew was good and that I can't change is me being empathetic. I understand people for doing things whatever the reasons are even if it affects me, hurts me and such. I had this trait that I wish I didn't have.

In the end I never blamed anyone or anything because it's my choice to be in this situation. I got swallowed by the dark path that I just encountered and I don't think I can do anything else.

I just never loved myself to begin with.