#bitch is funnier

[pbnmj]

i just KNOW they have beef (alt panel i scrapped under the cut)

#well its funny to ME at least . noir jumps for joy when hobie leaves <3 #atsv #atsv spoilers #my art #noir #spiderman noir #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara #peter parker #margo kess #the alt version of this was scrapped because i found it funnier if noir fully made it a physical fight #like GET THE BITCH!

[hychlorions]

(looks at the time) ooh... the bitching hour

#klapollo #klavier gavin #apollo justice #ace attorney #.png #was about to just caption this with 'bitching' but 1) this is funnier 2) i think stranger things has ruined that #KEITH HARING DOG BE UPON YE #i feel bad i've mostly posted sketches this past year but again i'm still doing thesis lol #next term though i only have one class and it's an elective =w= maybe i can open comms then #including some experimental ones. like low poly creachers hehehehhe

[krazieka2]

Hazing.png

#fe3h #fe3h felix #fe3houses #carrying over my posts from twitter choo chooooo #here it is... my first time drawing felix.... the first of like... 3 times #sorry felix ur character archetype does not make my brain go buzz buzz #still a fan of how Lorenz IMMEDIATELY narcs on Claude #now there's a character archetype I can get behind #see felix causes tension by being a stone-cold badass with sympathetic motivations #lorenz is just a lil bitch #way funnier

[pansyfemme]

“t4t” people who make fun of bottom surgery results are barely even deserving of that label tbh

#you dont have to be attracted to it (still gonna question u on that one but. you dont have to) #but if you’re mean about it i genuinly hate you sorry #so tired of hearing ppl bitching about how ugly phallo results are like. ok then dont get it then but dont call a lifesaving surgery ugly #when are we going to learn that making funny of peoples genitals is always bad always. like its never funnier than it is hurtful

[housewifebuck]

do not talk to me or my son or my sons gay best friend ever again

#once again ripping my own jokes straight from my text convo with teenie #and for anyone who's gonna be like bobby is basically eddies dad too bitch I know but this is funnier #911 #🪐 #caps #also this scene drives me insane why are hen and chim the only two wearing their passes and why is this like the only time in the whole sho #that we see anyone wearing them #like....... #obviously the costume department HAS them

[feshsticks]

you cannot tell me this woman has any long distance vision at all. also

#donna beneviento #re8 #resident evil village #angie beneviento #my trash #progressively putting fewer relevant tags the less i care. i just draw what makes me giggle #hear me out. one eye - poor depth perception. detail-orientated occupation. veil obstruction. this bitch is short sighted!!! #yes i know the original meme wasn't to do with vision. but it's funnier when it is

[eggcats]

seeing the phrase "al your bitches are fighting" when referring to vox and lucifer in a fanfic singlehandedly made me ship radioapple AND radiostatic together at the same time, he's got 2 hands

#hazbin hotel #alastor #vox #lucifer morningstar #radioapple #radiostatic #hazbin alastor #hazbin lucifer #hazbin vox #i very much ship radioapple but i felt like radiostatic was more one sided but now its like #theyre both his bitches and thats so funny #i dont ship lucifer and vox tho #just them both with Alastor and they fight for his attention #its even funnier if alastor doesnt even notice that he's dating them both #he just is #idk how to describe it but i ship them EXACTLY in the 'your bitches are fighting ' way now #just vox and lucifer constantly trying to show each other up for Alastor's attention and him not even noticing #meanwhile everyone else is watching like damn get your bitches in line its causing a ring wide incident- and lucifer is about to involve #the other rings out of spite pls get your bitches in line #and Alastor is just there like i made food for us all and now suddenly everyone is fine again #up until the moment he looks at one of them .1 second longer than the other #and then it restarts

[front-facing-pokemon]

#wailmer #he so Appy !:) he so smile. devil may smile #those tiny little eyes up there at the top really make this guy #i don't actually know if this guy even remotely compares in size to wailord. but i think it'd be funnier if they don't. for canon #imagine someone who doesn't know a lot about pokémon gets a wailmer or something. and they keep them. but then they evolve #and fucking. have NOWHERE to go but now they're attached to their trainer so it's a whole thing #that's a little sad actually. what the fuck. how big is this bitch hold on lemme check #only about 6 feet apparently? so. small*ish*. all you wailord owners out there (or some of you who may be wailord yourself) do your best #i believe this'll be posting on the day i should be heading home from california. because i remember posting the one yesterday and thinking #that but i was wrong. so i think this is the one that actually will. so. again good luck future me #i'll perhaps need it

[accio-sriracha]

Marauders and Co. playing Never Have I Ever

~~~♤~~~

Remus: *bluntly* Never have I ever been a dog.

Everyone else: ?

Sirius: *drinks*

Everyone else: ?????

Marauders: *refuses to elaborate*

~~~♤~~~

#remus is a petty bitch and does this to make him drink #it gets funnier every time #they will literally just move on after #james tries to get out remus by saying hes never been scared of the moon #again refusing to elaborate #theyre so silly #never have i ever #harry potter #marauders #marauders era #wolfstar #remus lupin #remus x sirius #sirius black #wolfstar headcanon #marauders headcanon #incorrect quotes #incorrect marauders quotes #incorrect wolfstar quotes

[revasserium]

stargazing

malleus; 818 words; fluff... btwn ch5 and 6 bc i can't stop thinking about malleus turning up to vdc cause mc invited him during one of his midnight walks

“hey! horns!”

“hm? are you still referring to me by that name, child of man?”

the night is dark and thick around you as you flash malleus a smile, leaning on your opened windowsill. at the lilt of your head, malleus pauses, going still as he watches you — so young, so naïve, so… unrelenting.

“what, you don’t like it?”

the prince is a thing of thorn and edge and cool, flickering green flame. still, something like amusement warms his chest as he turns, slow and then slower, his curiosity blossoming inside him like hunger, sharp and sweet. he wets his lips, whets his indelible curiosity against his better judgement and lets the curiosity win. briefly, he wonders if the sayings are true — that it might be a thing of murder, that it might hold so much power.

he takes three long steps towards your window. like this, he almost has to look up to meet your eyes.

almost.

“i don’t mind it.”

you laugh, the sound soft and feather-light in the velveteen night. it reminds him of the firefly lights — tiny and effervescent as they are, glittering still against the ever-encroaching darkness, mindless of their own futility.

“so… were you ever gonna tell me you were — what, the crown prince of briar valley?” and here, he finds you laughing again, as if this were some joking matter, as if his position weren’t pressed into the brittle of his bones, sewn into the rigid line of his shoulders, laced into the poison of his smile.

you slump down, resting your cheek against one of your folded arms.

“where is that, even?”

malleus allows himself something akin to laughter as well, letting the sound bubble through him. before he met you, he would’ve thought it felt like poison — roiling in the cauldron of his stomach, bitter and dangerous. but now, he thinks it might feel something like singing, the sound pouring from him, spilling out of him sweet tea or song.

“nowhere of consequence to you, child of man.”

“hm… so, it’s a secret, then?”

he finds himself oddly entranced by the teasing sweep of your lips, by the way your eyes are just a shade too bright. in them, he finds the crescent moon — he finds himself too, but not as he’s always pictured himself. to you, he’s just another student, tall and imposing and strange, but up until now, you’ve had no reason to think otherwise of him. and still, and still…

“not in the slightest.”

“so, show me.”

“would you like to see it, one day? i suppose it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility.”

you brighten, impossibly. and malleus, not for the first time, finds himself held still by your excitement, by your unwavering trust. by your unassuming nature. has anyone ever looked upon him with such pure, wonderous hope? with not a hint of expectation or hesitation, not a thread of fear or trepidation?

no. he doesn’t think they have.

and yet, here you are, plain as the swinging, silver moon, cut across the star-strewn sky.

“i’d love to!”

“then i suppose you have to stay here long enough.”

“hm?” you cock your head at him and he find himself smiling.

“well, if you were to find your way back to that other world of yours… i might never get to show you briar valley.”

but to his surprise, you simply shrug, waving a hand through the air as if shooing off butterflies.

“oh, i’m not too worried about that. aren’t you like, the most powerful mage ever?”

malleus chuckles, fighting the urge to press a finger to his own lips, to swallow back the sound.

“one of, yes.”

you shrug again, propping your chin on the heel of your hand as your eyes travel up the length of his horns, and then back down again.

“then i’m sure you’ll find a way to bring me back for a tour of your hometown. it’ll be easy!”

malleus nods thoughtfully, watching as you cast your eyes up towards the cloudless sky. you point at the stars, exclaiming about some constellation or other, and he follows your gaze, leaning back against the cool brick of of the wall next to your opened window, letting your voice wash over him like water from a babbling brook.

yes, he thinks, he really would like to show you briar valley one day — be it tomorrow, or the day after. or, perhaps, years from now. still, it’s an invitation extended, and he’s not one to go back on his word.

and yes, he muses, if you were one day to find your way back home, he would find a way to bring you back, even if it took him the rest of his life to do it.

#malleus draconia #twst #twisted wonderland #malleus draconia x reader #malleus draconia fluff #twst fluff #twisted wonderland fluff #malleus headcanons #twst imagines #twst scenarios #malleus scenarios #floofy floof floof #i just cANNOt get the hilarity of mc/yuu calling malleus “horns” outta my head #like i get why they chose “hornton” but “horns” is just so much funnier and much more... vibey??? #its giving ukai calling asahi “manbun” ukno like that kinda thing #and yeah -- yeah; i'm a malleus bitch now. we have arrived.

[fantastic-nonsense]

people who want Talia and Dick to be nice to each other are boring. They've been dramatic and mean and petty about each other since the 70s, they're not going to stop now lmao

#dick grayson #talia al ghul #them being drama bitches about each other is one of the best things about their interactions tbh #I genuinely don't understand why anyone would want them to get along when Dick and Talia being the most bitter in-laws ever is way funnier #'I hate my dad's (ex) girlfriend so much' 🤝 'I will do anything to get rid of my boyfriend's kid' #and it's infinitely funnier than any other type of relationship they could have

[tvckerwash]

one of my favorite silly hc's is that all the characters I hc as being former odst's (wash, south, north) develop a dislike of heights and flying via that line sarge has in I think s7 where's he's like "where do you think I got the fear of heights from? that shit was crazy!" in regards to it being revealed that he used to be an odst

#wash and south also both canonically hate 479ers flying stunts which makes this hc even funnier imo #like wash and south are both 100% still capable of dealing with those types of drops but they're both gonna bitch and whine about it jdgdhj #rvb #red vs blue #mine #ms 'knocks herself out while talking about how much she hates flying' #and mr 'i think I'm gonna throw up' lmao

[nedlittle]

wow dude do you think oscar wilde may have been gay? should we tell the discord? should we inform rupaul?

#the picture of dorian gray #book discourse #sorry to keep beating this dead horse but i tried looking for the review i referenced in that damnèd post but only found more horrors #i appreciate storygraph's lack of hierarchy for review sorting but it really is a bitch when you're trying to find a review for something #extremely popular with over 17k reviews #'why is rupaul here' i blanked on mainstream gay celebs and he was the first i thought of which makes it funnier

[cockbiteproductions]

you think you're free from rvb. you're immune. you were a clown in their circus for so long and you finally wiped off the makeup. the reds and the blues aren't coming back and you aren't either. but then rooster teeth says rvb is ending and you're like "oh no, but it was past time." but then they say burnie is writing it and you're like "wow just like in s15e4, I can't believe rooster teeth went to scotland and tore burnie from his photogenic island life to get him to finish it."

and then they say the reds and the blues are back and you're stopped being able to comprehend words. and then they say it's the aftermath of ain't that a bitch and you blink and you've already rewatched the first 3 seasons. you stare at your own face in the reflection of the dark screen and you see the clown makeup has reappeared.

#teresa talks #rvb #QUITE LITERALLY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #sorry had something in my throat I'll be more articulate this time #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #WE WOULD NEVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED!!!! AIN'T THAT A BITCH!!!!! UNLESS???????? #anyway i was thinking earlier it would be pretty hilarious to use ai to recreate joel byemans voice for caboose #i know they would probably get a lawsuit but it'd be so so so so so funny #fuck dude i dont know what to say like #WE WERE NEVER GETTING S13 AFTERMATH? UNTIL WE DID? #i know it's more likely that burnie was the one who was like hey i wanna end it but this image in my head is funnier

[temperamentalaquarius]

It's genuinely so funny to me that Jason died, came back, went through all this training only to find that Dick could still beat his ass, and immediately jumped to psychological warfare every time they squared up like. Try telling me he went into their fight during battle for the cowl without knowing good and goddamn well that the plan was "if Dick wins I kill myself 😈". We love a messy king who's not afraid pivot.

#jason todd #dick grayson #red hood #nightwing #bitch I might wing #honestly its why when I see 'big brother Jason' it makes me laugh #he's out here giving dick 1d6 of psychic damage every time he opens his mouth he doesn't give a FUCK #(I know he does and it makes it so much funnier)

[tokillamockingbird427]

Hesh fellas, had a realization. A WalRuss centric one. (Logan/Keegan)

Keegan, being a scout sniper, is a very patient guy. He has literally spent like three days in a swamp, during a rainstorm, waiting to mist this one fucking guy.

He's also very calm, or at the very least controlled, because snipers literally monitor their heart rates to shoot. (No joke, those mf's shoot between heartbeats. And obviously slower beat = easier to shoot.)

Given both of those things, if the Ghosts did find Logan turned Federation (Or half baked to the point of just hating them.) then he could be the guy to help. Not in a literal "I can fix him way." but in a "I can give him the patience and calmness he needs to sort himself out."

Also it would be fun to have their personalities oppose each other. Logan being angry and a frantic, vs Keegan being patient and calm. Duality of man or whatever.

#call of duty #call of duty ghosts #logan walker #keegan p russ #walruss #Half baked Fed Logan is funnier to me than full baked Fed Logan #Full baked has been THROUGH IT and the Ghosts didn't reach him in time to help (Which is a semi valid reason to be pissed.) #and half is bitching about them literally helping as best they can. You need to calm down Mr. Grumpy Pants