#black .. which contradicts the idea that a black person is someone born black

[tamelee]

Hi!! 💞

I’ve seen some Kakashi stans who ACTUALLY believe that "you don’t need a reason to love someone" in real life

Like what. This sentence doesn’t work in the manga, but it works even less irl… We don’t love people without reason and we don’t continue to love them no matter what just because?? Or am I missing something???

This is the general idea as to why- Naruto's face is golden here. Absolutely *chefs kiss*. But mind the words "that is what SHE has resigned HERSELF to, because SHE fell in love" despite not knowing what this darkness is or willing to hear Sasuke out in the first place. It means she doesn't even know who she fell in love with, meaning it's an idea. You could say the only reason she loves him, is... she just does. But even in that, there's reason... But, well.. it doesn’t make any sense in English. I’ve read people say that what Kakashi said can’t be translated correctly in a way that aligns with its true meaning. (Take it with a grain of salt though, because I can’t check that myself.) 

Apparently it has more to do with the idea that people are born to love naturally (and generally), but to hate, one needs an actual reason. Like revenge caused by evil, which in turn was probably revenge for other evil, fear is often involved. (Cycle of Hatred— got nothing to do with the Uchiha, it’s an ongoing Theme.) And that in turn aligns with the ‘Will of Fire’ supposedly representing ‘love’ in the sense that people sacrifice themselves for each other because you’re comrades as leaf Shinobi. Like Shikamaru risking his and his team’s life for Sasuke despite not being friends- uh, despite not liking him.

But that’s duty. That’s not love. And although duty is often masked as love in the story through a sense of community, there’s a reason why there are many distinctions made when it comes to personal relationships that forces a character to go against their duties. (Or personal morals/values, like Kakashi's father.)

Why there are differences between characters sacrificing themselves because it’s their duty, or because they love that person.

And in order to go beyond duty, to really, truly love someone… there’s always a reason. 

There MUST be a reason to deny, set aside everything (even briefly) you know and were born into or even start to question general belief for this other person in this story in particular. Naruto had to do that several times in order to start understanding Sasuke and that journey is naturally written into his character and his own experiences. Although not completely this black and white, it's why people say Naruto had to choose between Konoha or Sasuke.

It makes no sense without reason. And that’s even more true in the story than in real life, because in order to really tell that story, it must be something tangible. Something concrete that the reader/audience can understand. In real life, it can be a whole lot more vague— you don’t have to explain it. 

Which also means that no explanation is also explanation if you were looking for an answer. Hence, Sasuke saying she has no reason to love him.

And technically that's true, because it isn't about Sasuke. Sakura's reasons to love Sasuke are literally spelled out afterwards by Kakashi. It’s extremely contradicting. And these are reasons that are very heavily (and frankly, very unfairly) filtered in Sakura’s favor (through Kakashi’s standpoint). 

—

According to Kakashi in that scene alone, she:

- Just wants to save Sasuke (yeah because she loves him)

- Wants him by her side (because she loves him)

- Cries, is hurt/suffers from loving him.... right.

None of these have anything to do with duty, but it also has nothing to do with the real Sasuke.

She’s insecure and has this perception of him that isn’t real and she HAS to ignore the real Sasuke in order to keep that fantasy of hers alive. That’s why she won’t hear him out or blatantly talks over him the moment he tries to speak. “I don’t care!” Or some other version of, “anyway, but what about ME and MY feelings?” Despite whining in Part 1 that he won't talk to her -.-

According to Sakura, she:

- Just wants to save Sasuke and thinks it's her (own personal) duty to kill him, because she- 

- wants him by her side and right now she isn't important to him, he won't prioritize her wishes so she-

- suffers without him/from loving him and- - is otherwise lonely.... Just as lonely as Sasuke is after his entire family/clan got murdered (her words not mine), but she would throw away the family that loves her to be with him even though she doesn't know Sasuke's reasons, so fuck her parents I guess.

- And she also said that his revenge is selfish because it won't make her happy. (lmao.....!! My god.)

It’s all selfish. It's all only for Sakura, but it’s a reason nonetheless 🤷🏻‍♀️

Here's a good post. So, I wonder if it's a translation 'error', or whether he genuinely meant it more as duty in a community sense (though I find it unlikely), whether it was guilt because he told her things would go back to the way it was and failed to give that to her or questions Sasuke's idea about romantic love- people always argue about it, but it's hard to tell because it's very, very contradicting in several ways. But yeah, I agree, one does need a reason. And like I said before, this reason needs to be shown specifically in story for it to have any meaning one way or another.

#asktamelee #naruto talk #kakashi talk #🌸 talk

[linkspooky]

Hi there!! I really enjoyed reading about how you approach writing and characterising characters like Nanako, Mimiko, Nobara or Gojo so I’ve been wondering how do you go about writing someone as angsty and downright violent yet soft and childish at times like Megumi? Boy really had a cursed life for someone named blessing… so I feel there’s a lot to unpack when it comes to his character. Do you have any headcanons for him or do you mostly base his characterisation on what we’ve been shown in the manga? And how difficult or maybe easy you find writing him?

Megumi's actually the most complicated and well-written character in the manga (this is the part where @theanimepsychologist appears to high five me) so it's understandable you might have trouble writing him.

You don't really need to fanonize Megumi, because everything you need about him is already there in the manga. He's a jungian character who literally uses his shadow as his weapon to attack people, so the story delves incredibly deep into his inner world probably moreso than Yuji the main character.

To begin with though, this is my favorite way to describe Megumi:

Fushiguro had intended to just pay and leave but with his serious personality, his idea of leaving was dismissed by Itadori’s reasoning. However, his eyes that were as deep as the night that peeped out from the bottom of a deep ditch became even more lifeless. Fushiguro tried once more to switch off his self-awareness. Numbness was the safety feature of life. If he did not think of a way to protect his spirit, it would not be strange if a curse was born.

"Numbness was the safety feature of life", every behavior Megumi exhibits is an attempt to suppress his emotions, to numb himself down and feel nothing.

This is what makes him a Jungian character. His primary personality trait isn't being grumpy, or serious, or anti-social, it's being avoidant. Which is why it's funny people often compare him to the other black haired rival characters in shonen jump, because he's nothing like Sasuke.

If you wanted a character to base your Megumi characterization on, the closest comparison is Killua. The abused child who ran away from a family of assassins, who thinks absolutely nothing of himself while describing his best friend in the gayest way possible as pure light. Killua's primary character trait is also avoidance. He doesn't really want to be a better person at the start of the story, he has no problems with killing people, he just wants to RUN AWAY. Which is also why he takes the one sibling he likes from the abusive household and kind of just leaves the rest of them behind like it's none of his business.

Megumi's primary character trait isn't anger, or violence, even if he's both of those things it's avoidance. He wants to avoid both the people in his life and his problems whenever possible until it's too late. He doesn't want to analyze himself or his own actions, which is why I made the banner image of this post Megumi straight up saying "I don't care if I'm right or wrong." This is how you get the contradiction that is Megumi, someone who self-righteously lectures Yuji in the first few chapters that he doesn't care if a prisoner died because they hit someone with their car by accident, then one hundred chapters later in the culling games blatantly says "I'll totally kill people to score points."

Megumi's simultaneously extremely strict and lawful, but also does not think those laws apply to himself because he doesn't want to think about himself. He has no image of himself. This is where you get to the childish aspects of his character. His second biggest character trait is that he's basically an eternal child. He can't handle any of his emotions in a mature way like an adult would so he just doesn't. The reason he hides all of his emotions in the dark and ignores them is because he doesn't have the tools to deal with them. His own feelings are the leaky roof that he can't afford to fix so he just has to pretend it's not there.

Megumi also isn't really trying to grow up or grow past his mistakes, because he is stuck in survival mode. Megumi's a child because he has no proper adult role models in his life. Yes, this is including Gojo. If you want a real life metaphor for the way Megumi behaves, he's like a foster kid passed from house to house until he's eighteen who never connected with any of his parents and was probably treated as a renter by them instead. Megumi himself in story is kind of treated like he's more mature than others too, just because he has a more serious personality, and has been forced to carry a lot of responsibility at a young age (by Gojo).

Which finally, you have to look at the two adults in Megumi's life who are responsible for a lot of his behaviors. Toji is someone who abandoned Megumi, and not only that he took the money he gained from his jobs, and selling Megumi and practically gambled it away and blew it on stupid shit. He failed in his responsibilities to Megumi every step of the way. Yet, there's a strong resemblance between father and son. Toji is the way he is because he was abandoned by his family his entire life and cast out, and wound up doing the same to Megumi. Toji also, seemed to use Megumi's mother as the only good thing / the only good influence on him and when she died he practically gave up. It's the same for Megumi, he basically used Tsukimi the same way as the person who inspired him to be good. Without Tsumiki, look at the despair that Megumi falls into and how he stops fighting Sukuna entirely.

Then you have Gojo, who let's just ignore the child soldier aspect of the way Gojo treats Megumi for now. I think the worst influence Gojo has on Megumi, is he expects Megumi to be exactly like him. Gojo and Megumi were both born with their clan's strongest technique, they're both natural geniuses who learn whatever they try to learn quickly. My friend Psycho had this to say about it.

Isn't it ironic how Gojo is the one telling Megumi he doesn't know how to bring out his best? Megumi is your class "I'm so naturally talented everything comes easy to me, but I don't know that I don't know this, so I don't try or strive hard for anything."

Gojo and Megumi are similiar in a lot of ways, but if Toji represents Megumi's violent side and the worst of his trauma, then Gojo is Megumi's avoidance. Gojo is also someone who doesn't want to form connections with people, who is stuck isolated in his own little world and never really changes or adapts to circumstances because he's always been perfect at what he does.

Gojo tried to raise Megumi into another Gojo, but failed because Megumi is different in ways that Gojo doesn't understand. Megumi doesn't really want to strive to be the best sorcerer in the way Gojo does, because Megumi was forced into it by circumstances. Gojo was like, Megumi if you don't come with me and do sorcery jobs for the school then your sister will be abused by the Zen'in. THis is totally a choice I'm giving you. Gojo doesn't understand why Megumi would have so many mental hurdles that would prevent him from reaching his full potential. And I think the biggest reason for this is because Gojo basically treated Megumi as a miniature adult from the day they met onwards, instead of treating him like a child. Gojo didn't have to raise Megumi, but the bare minimum he could have done is realized that Megumi is a child and not an adult and can't handle the responsibilities or an adult and doesn't have the emotions or maturity of an adult.

Gojo doesn't realize that however. He expects Megumi to deal with the crushing responsibility of being an adult, because that's how Gojo was raised and look at Gojo he's doing just fine he's the strongest.

So, like to cap this all off Megumi is a character with a pretty deep internal world made up of all the emotions he's repressing.

I'd say to other people he comes off as quiet and unpleasant. He also keeps interaction with others down to as minimum as possible. If he's interacting with strangers, he tends to be respectful, because he's projecting the personality of someone more mature than he really is. He's also the one who by default tries to act responsible and make the plans for other people even if he's the youngest one in the group. All of these things are because Megumi 1) feels a crushing responsibility to be the adult in these situations, and 2) also wants to avoid that responsibility hence his quiet and antisocial behavior as a default.

Megumi is also a male tsundere, which is how he deals with even the people who's closest to him. A lot of his dialogue in regards to Yuji is just some version of "Shut up, Baka" whereas with Nobara he tends to just kind of ignore her when she's being annoying and let her tire herself out.

Megumi also has incredibly low self esteem so when you're writing his internal dialogue, you should have him basically describe people like Yuji in the gayest terms possible much like Killua, while at the same time insulting and belittling himself. He props other people up to make himself look smaller in comparison.

Megumi's also in general pretty self-loathing. That's another reason why he represses himself so much, because he just sort of hates himself. He thinks he's a shitty brat who can't do anything right. When Megumi tends to pull more morally ambiguous things like advocating for murder, or getting too violent in a fight, he tends to justify it as "I'm not a good person like Tsumiki and Yuji so it's okay if I get my hands dirty". Which isn't a good excuse but it's very sad that a sixteen year old boy is unable to see the good in himself and is constantly comparing himself to others and finding them to be better.

Finally, Megumi's kind of like a parentalized child, at least in the fact he's been treated as a mini-adult by the biggest adult caretaker in his life and is expected to function like one. Therefore, Megumi has an image of himself that he's more mature than the people around him and knows better when he doesn't. He also doesn't really seem to grasp when he's being childish or angry or immature because he doesn't see himself that way, he's the adult, he'a always forced to be the adult.

Okay, I hope that helped you even a little bit Megumi is a pretty complex character to grasp, if you want even more inspiration then just read Hunter x Hunter.

#megumi fushiguro #toji fushiguro #askspookies

[kaibutsushidousha]

Can you do a meta on Naze from Medaka Box?

Naze is a character who built herself a whole identity based on a philosophy that narrative doesn't take seriously. She's unambiguously wrong and the first half of the manga uses her every character moment as an opportunity to point out how wrong she is.

Kujira was born with talent and privilege, which she was always eager to put to good use, but she was led astray by the belief that wonders can only be born in hell. She gets an interesting setup as a challenge to Medaka. The person who wants to make everyone happy confronts the person who genuinely wishes for unhappiness. Naze being Medaka's sister is only an extra incentive for her to give attention to this clash of ideas.

And did this confrontation actually happen? No. Because the narrative never gives any level of merit to the idea that a human being would actually want to be unhappy. Naze is the only Thirteen Party member who goes down without a fight, meaning the idea she chose to represent is the one that's not worth fighting for.

Ultimately, Koga gets Taxed by Miyakonojou and Naze chooses getting revenge for her friend over furthering her research in these ideally unfortunate circumstances. She got exactly what she asked for and her philosophy immediately crumbled on itself when put to the test. No further elaboration because it's too childish to be even debated.

One key point of her backstory (that will be relevant later when we talk about Shibushi) is that she went through multiple bouts of amnesia in her transition from Kujira to Naze. Her conscious pursuit of misfortune resulted in so much trauma that her very brain chose to block it off, meaning her very body rejects her dumb point. Actively wanting misfortune is not just too silly of an ideal to any reasonable person. It's too silly of an idea to her own instincts too.

Take a look at Kumagawa, the face of negativity. He is the anti-perfection, the most Minus of the Minus, and even he can't go to this logical extreme. On the contrary, Kumagawa actively pursued the happiness of the Minus by dragging the top down to the bottom level.

Speaking of Kumagawa, the next time Naze is relevant is when Kumagawa tries to recruit her to Class -13. Thanks to her accomplishments and fame as a noncommital and evasive individual, he sees her as a useful asset that's more like-minded to him than to Medaka, and who is willing to double-cross for the promise of making her life worse. This gets to her for a moment until her first conversation with the Minus side unpromptedly demolishes her emotional contradictions and makes her double-cross the Minus. Once aware of her own happiness, Naze can't go back to her noncommittal self. Black White of the Thirteen Party is no more. She now has to pick a side.

Her main part in the Minus arc is her fight against Shibushi. Shibushi's Scar Dead is the power to open old wounds, and that heals Naze's multiple amnesias, making her relive all the trauma she suppressed. By her own worldview, this is the situation of maximum productivity. The opportunity to create something wonderful. But instead what she creates is her Minus, Ice Fire, a symbol of her noncommittal past. A tool she describes as horrid, and one that directly causes her to lose the game, even if she wins the fight. (Because Shibushi is also a Minus, so they both need to lose)

By having her ultimate hell produce something that wasn't wonderful, Naze's worldview is finally refuted on all levels. Nonetheless, Naze wins the fight, because above her personal views, there are the themes of the Minus arc. Class -13 is a group of kids going down a negative spiral because they let their trauma define who they are. Naze, on the other hand, is someone who instrumentalized trauma before she even had one, so won by using trauma as a tool to do something positive for Medaka's student council's sake. She's dumb in believing that trauma was something to pursue, but she understands better than Class -13 that having trauma is not the end of the world, and that useful things can come from it.

Her last hurrah in the series is her battle against Sui. This one really doesn't add much to her character, but at least it shows off that by this point she's a different woman. Her edgelord is there as usual and she gets one masochist gag, but her defining philosophy is already completely abandoned. This time she's fighting for Medaka and Zenkichi, fully aware of the bonds of companionship she values a lot more than her research productivity. Sui even makes a passing comment about how peace dulled the Kurokami family, to which Naze fully agrees, but this matured version of Naze sees that as a good thing.

#medaka box #youka naze #kujira kurokami

[familiarstale]

Nixy was meant to be the only Eclipse I made

oops Pixel happend and they're more of a solar eclipse rather than a fusion of sun and moon eclipse like Nix is

a very tiny arcade eclipse with a love of star-shaped chewy stim-toys, ribbons and has a Pokemon MissingNo tail-tip Even though I dont really rp here anymore, Pixie Sticks is being added here

close up of Pixel’s arcade because I just really like how it came out

some info on this tiny digital mans under a read-more

Name: Pixel Also responds to: Pix, Pixie, Pixie Sticks, Eclipse Pronouns: He/It/They True Neutral First started to form: Feb 14 Code says he’s about 23 but he doesn’t act it Most likely AroAce but might be Demi Languages Known: Any it can download into itself

The arcade cabinet started to get a glitch after Sunny took out its need for faz-tokens in order to be played, Pixel came from the day/night cycle glitching into each other

Pixel has full control over anything internal in the arcade cabinet. He can’t push the buttons in or move the joystick but he can go anywhere on the screen, mess with gameplay elements - like causing balloons to just pop etc and mess with the high scores. He messes with Sunny’s high score a lot finding it funny

Pixel can’t speak from the arcade. there are game sounds but it’s not enough to let speak though - the only way he can communicate is through making text boxes appear or though gestures, facial expressions or tapping on the screen

Often he will pull of a ‘black curtain’ to make it look like the arcade is switched off

Pixel spies on the brothers - or anyone really - whenever they’re in the balcony room and this is how its learned any and all social cues which he’s not really good at and can often make mistakes thinking something is normal when it might be an unhealthy coping tactic

Pixel doesn’t like being confined to an arcade cabinet, its lonely and finds it very boring

he could be moved to another device by plugging said device into the arcade and downloading him into it. If that were to happen he would have full control over anything digitally on said device - if it were a tablet or phone he would have control over all the apps - but he still would not be able to physically move it around himself

if connected to the internet Pixel could potentially travel through it to another device with WiFi but if presented with this idea he would mostly likely be afraid to try it in fear of getting lost and scrambled up in other code

if discovered he will try to still hide until eventually revealing itself but ask whoever made the discovery to keep it to themselves

it’s not always easy to get a grasp on what Pixel’s personality even is: sometimes through text boxes he can be snarky or rude, but then also some secret caring can slip through

there are moments were he even seems to contradict himself: afraid of being discovered but finding it fun to mess with someone playing as a haunted game

Pixel’s name is given to it when its eventually discovered by the trio of brothers

When changing his appearance his pixels have a shimmery effect and changes as the shimmer goes across

Having been ‘born’ in the arcade, it’s very much apart of Pixel and he can’t be permanently removed from it. He can be temporarily removed for a few days at a time though

Pixel’s favorite colours are blue and hot pink

Because it lives in an arcade cabinet, Pix isn’t used to being touched, it sees the brothers hug each other but he’s never been hugged himself. The first time he is hugged he freezes and tears up from how touch-starved he is

Pix likes bows and has a large blue one around his neck and waist, and small pink ones around his wrists. He struggles with the Eclipse-Interests™ and he has an interest in Stars that he’s unable to shake

Pixel added a tail into his code when he saw so many others with tails. The tip is shaped as the pokemon MissingNo glitch

Pixie is pretty good at making viruses

because he’s completely digital he has some light shapeshifting abilities. when he is able to have a temporary body he’s able to go into, its made out of nanomachines which allows him to keep the light shapeshifting when out. When he does finally get a physical body, its 4 ft tall

Pixel really likes chewy stim toys. When in the arcade he programs a few in there

While out its gotten a few to chew on kept hidden under its ribbons. The stim toys are either hot pink or blue and star-shaped

#fnaf security breach #Eclipse #Eclipse FNAF #Arcade Eclipse #Eclipse oc #sundrop #fnaf sun #sunnydrop #fnaf sunrise #fnaf Moon #moondrop #fnaf Moonrise #art

[somethingforsenro]

to whom it may concern

it's about rassicas… kinda… but really just an excuse to ramble about headcanons.

~ { • • • } ~

hey, so… fair disclosure.

firstly, this is gonna ramble on for a long, long time. so, if you don't have it in you to do a stupid amount of reading… oue deeply apologize.

secondly, this isn't anything serious. it's not about to be eggman's announcement 2, making a call-out post on tumblr.com. so, if you're hoping for anything actually important, you should probably check out now.

this is just the ramblings of yet another autistic person currently hyperfixating on splatoon. that's all.

also, oue actually really like rassicas. if it weren't for their noble sacrifices of blood, sweat, and tears (that are definitely NOT made of ink), there would be countless millions living their whole lives never knowing that there was some developer interview, somewhere, that never got translated out of japanese, where someone said that some of the younger octolings on the surface, might, maybe, be starting to forget that they are, in fact, octolings, and how could we ever live without that knowledge?

in all seriousness, though, they're singlehandedly carrying the entire splatoon theory community on their back every day. "ceo of splatoon lore" is right.

on that note, oue would personally put a teeny-tiny asterisk on that very impressive resume. let's talk about it!

~ { • • • } ~

so, if you've ever talked to the average young-ish squid person fan, you probably have a good idea of the sort of ignorance rassicas is fighting on a daily basis with all that translating.

people can get pretty defensive of their canon-that's-actually-fanon. it says in the english localization of the game, after all, that marina lived in the ‘ruthless oppression of octarian society, that was definitely caused entirely by dj octavio, and this is totally a direct quote’.

sometimes, they don't really BELIEVE you, or at least don't WANT to believe you, when you tell them that maybe they're wrong.

trust ous. oue know. people have insisted to ous, very heatedly, that marie is agent 1 and callie is agent 2. even though they're definitely not. even noa got THAT part right.

point is, there comes a time when you have to put your foot down and say in no uncertain terms that no, hypnotized octolings are NOT canon to splatoon jp. among other things.

but this is where oure problem lies. not to say that this is by any means an intentional action on ki's part, or at all what they intend to tell people – in fact, oue're pretty sure they've said the exact same thing oue're about to say in several of their oft-referenced yt videos…

but it seems like SOME people haven't gotten the message, so…

just because it's not canon doesn't mean you can't headcanon it.

“now, hold on, senro,” oue hear you saying, “i am but a wee raccoon, surfing the seven cyber-seas, borne of the waves of tumblopolis. i don't know what a ‘headcanon’ is. it sounds like a foul, black magic to me – which is exactly why i must know just what you mean.”

thank you, captain raccoon. oue will explain what a headcanon is.

in case anyone doesn't know, a headcanon is something that isn't really a fact within the universe, but you think it's cool, so you choose to believe it's true, anyway. these are normal things that pretty much anyone with opinions can make up about the stuff they're passionate about, and splatoon is no exception.

and, yes. ‘hypnotized octolings’ does, in fact, qualify as a headcanon. as long as you acknowledge, in some deep, dank, dark part of your soul, that it's not really been confirmed by nintendo – actively contradicted, in fact – that octolings are hypnotized…

well, you're not gonna hurt anyone. except octavio, maybe. but then again, he seems to have absolutely no qualms with brainwashing them all a different way by constantly blasting propaganda at them 24/7, so maybe not even he would care.

on that note, the rest of this post will just be ous rambling about oureselves and oure own personal headcanons. if some demonic force somehow possesses you to care, you can read on, but if not… woe befall all ye who enter here.

~ { • • • } ~

as an author, and a roleplayer, oue personally like to mix together little ideas from various sources to make one greater whole. for example:

splatoon jp's ‘octolings are not immune to propaganda, and the octarian species's survival is existentially threatened’

splatoon en's ‘modern octarian society is very oppressive, and modern octavio and craig are both bumbling idiots – how the hell did they even get here’

splatoon community fanon, like ‘octolings are hypnotized just like callie, and the calamari inkantation can overpower it’

the shiny things that other people came up with and oue snatched up, like ‘callie is actually really emotionally attached to her shades because they give her a kind of emotional stability that she usually doesn't get’

oure own personal thoughts, like ‘the shooting off of the Hypnoshades gave callie a dissociative identity who acts exactly like her hypnotized self did; their name is Aori, and they are her Big Momma Bear that helps her be more assertive and emotionally independent than she was in the Squid Sisters Stories. also, the Hypnoshades are literally a sentient fucking being that marie is casually imprisoning in a cabinet drawer, its name is hypnos and its pronouns are it/they/she AND it somehow needs even MORE therapy than callie does!’

as you might be able to tell from all that, it's a pretty hectic mix. it's chaotic, it's messy, and to less knowledgeable friends, oue often have trouble communicating which stuff is jp canon, eng canon, fanon, or headcanon.

(because, let's face it, those are all completely different beasts. they overlap at times, yes, but you're never gonna get anything even vaguely coherent if you try to make them all the same.)

however, oue mix stuff together anyway. not out of any malicious desire to mislead, but because it's just more fun to write that way. and, honestly, what's the point of being in this community if you never let yourself have any fun?

so, on that note…

a little advice.

~ { • • • } ~

if you want to know the japanese localization's lore, go to literally any content by rassicas, or watch jexst's ‘exhaustively comprehensive explanation of the splatoon series's main story (with timeline)’.

if you want to know the english localization's lore, look up "splatoon iceberg" and get ready for something absolutely off-the-walls. the upper layers tend to have a lot of popular fanon, too, so be ready for that. either way, it's not a good iceberg unless they mention THE TOFU and pearl's octo form at some point.

and if you want to hear the stuff that various people like you have come up with, look no further than right here on tumblr! there are plenty of super creative headcanons to be found here just by doomscrolling, and you don't even have to traumatize yourself for life quite as much as you would on twitter or amino!

on that note… oue're so sorry that you had to subject yourself to this post.

also, toodle pip, and thanks for reading!

#splatoon #splatoon 2 #writers on tumblr #octoling

[junnahphoto101]

Mini research - Samin Ahmadzadeh

”I believe that when we consider the rich and diverse experiences of individuals – each with their ancestors, each from different places and cultures – we begin to see that we are more alike than we are different. In this installation I was seeking to highlight our common humanity and the things that unite us, rather than focusing on what sets us apart” (Talking Pictures). Samin Ahmadzadeh is an Iranian artist who combined the art of photography and weaving. Samin is Iran born whose father studied abroad in boarding school from the age of three in the UK. Samin’s father was raised in the UK, while his family remained in Iran. Her father’s cross-cultured upbringing between the East and West brought the Western idea to Samin’s life. Samin, born in Iran, a country known for its art in fabric and carpet weaving; weaving was a comfortable and familiar place for her. After receiving a bachelor’s of photography in Iran, and a Master’s in Britain. Samin completed her Master’s in 2013, while completing her Master’s she began incorporating her Eastern heritage, and the Western culture into her photographs. The Iranian tile work and the Islamic architecture influenced her. Weaving became a new way of expressing her thoughts and ideas through photography. 

Samin began by using family photos going back to the 1920s. weaving also helps her manipulate the photograph’s story by hiding or exposing certain parts of the images. When someone takes a photograph, they are capturing a moment and telling a story, for Samin, she is able to combine and outsource  in her weaving process multiple photographs into one. Samin is known for weaving photographs, her photographs are more complex than just a conglomerate of tiles, she covers landscape, people, and has a combination of landscape and people. The combination phenomenon, reflects ‘experiences’ the relationship of the people and the landscape and the effect it has on the person (Talking Pictures ). “I believe that the landscapes we live in help form who we are through the way we individually experience and interact with and in them. The meanings we come to associate with those experiences shape our persona, giving us our individuality” . 

While in the UK, Samin visited the boarding school her father attended, she found an outstanding collection of archives from when her father was there. This archive was the spark to her ‘memento’ body of work. This body of work not only helped her relate to her father’s childhood, it also helped her weave his identity into an image. The cross culture of being brought up in the UK and his family visits in Iran. As mentioned above, Samin’s photo weaving covers people, landscapes, and a combination of people and landscapes. This research paper will discuss two bodies of work, the people, one to be precise, “memento” which is about her father. The other will be landscapes, because Samin believes that landscapes or environments structure people. 

‘Memento’ is a body of work that shows the background behind her father’s upbringing. An Iranian boy, being raised in a British world. The weaved photographs show the two different worlds her father was brought up in. The different cultures and the contradicting values (memento). Samin took photographs from her father’s childhood while in Britain, and while in Iran, shredded them, and combined them to show the different cultures. “This final abstracted image can be interpreted as a recall of his unconscious being formed as a result of his life experiences between an Eastern and a Western society.” 

When looking at her photo weaves of her father, you can see in ‘memento 2’ the photo is 59x84cm, it’s a weaved photo of two colored images, her father as a child and in the larger area, her father grown wearing his graduation gown. In another photo ‘memento 1’ it is a black and white photo, also 59x84 cm, you see a photo of her father as a child, and in the larger area, it covers a family portrait with adults holding toddlers and children. (unraveling-the-tapestry) ‘Landscapes’ is a body of work that consists of weaving photographs of environments. Samin believes that the different landscapes we live in and are brought up in, construct who we are today. Since we learned to live within them, it is only acceptable that they shape what we have become. “We have built on them, harvested the resources and marvelled at them as they are immortalised in our art, mythology and our memory” (landscapes). ‘Remembering the morning in Bandar Abbas’  is a handwoven photograph on Birch Ply - 25.5 x 17.3 cm, is part of Samin’s Landscape body of work. The viewer can see how Samin’s weaved Bandar Abbas, a port in Iran, (Bandar Abbas) being that Samin was born in Iran the viewer now has a perception of her upbringing and the environment she was surrounded by. Another photo displayed in Samin’s landscape body of work, ‘Out until dusk’ Handwoven Photographs on Birch Ply - 15.8 x 10.5 cm, the viewer can see the beauty of a beach with people enjoying themselves, the weaving shows the views of two perspectives of the beach, sunny and purple skies of dusk.  

Landscapes, better known as our environments, are an intricate part of our lives. They affect the way we view the world and our upbringing. Someone born and raised in New York City would have a completely different perspective on life compared to someone born and raised in Arkansas or in a village in Yemen where they are surrounded by farms and mountains. “With her Landscape series, she’s particularly interested in how our identities are shaped by the landscape we inhabit, and how that is expressed in different cultures, art and mythology” (Land Revisited).

Through this weaving technique, Samin was able to capture every multilayered aspect of the East and West. “I apply the interwoven images to birch plywood surfaces that are then sanded and varnished, resulting in a three-dimensional object… The process of physically manipulating portraits allows me to explore the relationship between form, colour and surface to illustrate my ideas on memory” (Samin Ahmadzadeh). Samin’s work overall, proves that we are a product of our environment. She also shows the viewer that her weaving techniques are a combination of memories, worlds, and views. It is amazing how Samin can manipulate images together to tell a story in an image. 

In conclusion, Samin Ahmadzadeh's artistic journey, enveloped in her unique combination of photography and weaving, serves as a powerful evidence to the interconnectedness of humanity. Through exploring her heritage, influenced by both Eastern and Western cultures, she emphasizes the notion that despite our diverse backgrounds, we are basically united by our shared experiences and common humanity. Through her bodies of work she skillfully portrays the intricate layers of cultural influence, personal history and environments. Samin’s work is simply stunning.

References:

[tjmystic]

TERFs, do not interact with this post, I will block you on sight.

As much as I agree with all of the various posts about how people clearly understand the use of "they" and "them" as singular pronouns, it's still purposely shortsighted to assume that plurality is the biggest problem people have with using they/them. The main reason, as always, is hate and blatant oppression -- most of the people who rage against they/them understand it perfectly well, they just hate it and the people those pronouns represent. But the secondary reason, which is most present amongst both well-meaning but ignorant people and people who hate singular they/them on a reactionary basis, is that, in the English language, we typically use they/them only when we don't know someone's gender. Random examples:

Tell your new friend they can come over whenever they want.

The customer should inform us if they didn't receive their order.

I hope the new neighbor is nice and they don't make too much noise like the last one.

All of those sentences use singular they/them, but only because the gender of the person being discussed is unknown.

And that's the problem a lot of people have with they/them -- they assume it means that the person they're talking to or about doesn't know what their gender is. Which can be the case, for the record, and is just as normal as someone being trans or nonbinary or agender or anything else. But it bothers most people because people like certainty. They feel more comfortable when there are specific designations.

You feel like the gender you were born as, so they'll call you he/him or she/her as appropriate. You identify as the opposite gender, so they'll call you the opposite set of pronouns. They don't understand someone using they/them because, to them, that implies you don't know what gender you are and, for some reason to them, that "ignorance" is worthy of disdain or rejection. My only guess, based on previous conversations, is that it feels, to them, like you're pulling some kind of prank on them to make them look stupid. They can't fathom that they/them can be used in a singular capacity for anyone whose gender is known.

I'm not sure what the solution is here. Education, definitely, and the earlier the better. Cultural change isn't as probable with a generation who already has its ideas set in stone, but newer generations can be taught as children that gender can be different things for different people. If you find comfort and validation within the binary, then great, awesome, glad it works for you! If you find that the binary doesn't do anything for you and just makes you feel trapped, also awesome, here are the things you can do instead! And not just about gender, about everything -- people need to be taught that it's okay to have their world views called into question, that it's okay for them to learn and adapt to new information, even if it contradicts something that they thought they definitely new. We need to embrace constant learning as a society, and we need to reject the idea that being wrong about something makes you stupid.

But I think it's exhausting if nonbinary people have to be the only ones responsible for this education. And a little irresponsible, too. It's similar to making Black people responsible for teaching everyone about racism and how it negatively affects people. We need to find a way to bridge this gap without turning whole groups of people into spectacles.

#nonbinary #they/them #english language #trans rights #anti TERF #TERFs DNI

[liesoverthec]

OG 911 Character Details from Canon Pt 2

Hi y’all I’m back! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reblogged the last details post - I sort of just thought people would like it and it would die, so to see it travel and hopefully reach more writers was so great so thank you again!

Details under the cut since I went a little crazy 😅 and if this is your first time seeing this, the first part, and any future parts, can be found under this tag here!

Quick note before I get to the details - always, ALWAYS take details from dialogue or plot over details from the set or props if they contradict each other. The writers have the ultimate say over what happens on the show/for the characters, so whatever they say goes, even if it goes against something props has already laid down (eg, Chim’s birthday, sorry Libra crew. He’s an Aries or a Pisces). So keep that in mind for the future in case some of these details I have which are from props/set are changed in the future, or if you’ve noticed something yourself!

Also if you have questions, I am MORE than happy to answer them, although if you leave them in the tags on this post I’m probably gonna lose them, so if it’s something you’d genuinely like an answer to, drop it in my inbox! Besides my standard “ask” tags, I’m also tagging asks about canon details with this tag here. Every time I make a big post like this, I’m going to link all the asks I’ve gotten since the last post, but if you’re looking for more info in the mean time, that’s the other spot to look!

Buck has a grill on his patio.

Eddie doesn’t hang Christopher’s art on the fridge - instead it is either hung on the corkboard in Chris’ room to the left of the door, or Eddie puts it in an actual frame and hangs it using a hammer/nails in Christopher’s room. All the Diaz family has on their fridge is a bunch of bendy people magnets. (I absolutely ADORE him putting all this effort into treating Christopher’s art like it’s something you’d buy from a professional artist).

Info on everyone’s ages can be found here. (Little more discussion of Chim’s situation here).

Albert has a bachelor’s degree! I don’t know in what though, except that it’s some field for which is a Master’s is useful.

Athena was in a sorority in college, Delta Sigma Theta. Their website describes them as “ ...a sisterhood comprised primarily of Black, college-educated women ... [that] considers the issues impacting the Black community and boldly confronts the challenges of African Americans and, hence, all Americans ”, which I love for Athena, and feel is very in-character for her at that time in her life!

Chim is an aviators dude. When he wears sunglasses, they’re always aviators.

Athena also wears nothing but aviators.

Bobby wears square aviators.

Eddie, on the other hand, always wears Wayfarers.

Buck either doesn’t really like sunglasses or he constantly forgets he owns them, since we’ve only seen him wear them once in 60 eps, in a move I’m pretty sure was ONLY for dramatic effect.

Hen’s sunglasses change style over the seasons like her regular glasses do, but she tends to like browline sunglasses.

Info on Christopher’s school can be found here!

There are two colors of dispatch polo, and there doesn’t seem to be any rhythm or reason for who wears what. Maroon - Maddie and Linda. Blue - Josh and May. Jamal has actually worn both maroon and blue, so it doesn’t seem to be TOTALLY set in stone although I’ve never seen anyone else switch. Sue is too badass to wear a dispatch shirt.

Both Bobby and Eddie drive 4 door pickups. Bobby’s is navy. Eddie specifically has a black, 2020 GMC Denali 1500 pickup truck (in case you want to specifically look up what the inside of it looks like or what features it has 😂)

Info on the 118’s medical certifications can be found here.

Correction to Eddie’s living situation from last post: no next door neighbors, but instead UPSTAIRS neighbors. (Pointed out by Abigail in this ask). Also since someone else was wondering the notes of the last post - no, there is absolutely no discussion on the show of whether or not Eddie rents the apartment or owns it. But based on the fact that it’s 1) LA and 2) an apartment, my guess would be he rents it.

When Maddie isn’t feeling like herself, she tends to straighten her hair rather than curl it. It seems to be more when she’s uncertain about her place in her own and other people’s lives, rather than just when she’s simply worried - eg it’s straight in 2B, when she’s uncertain if she wants to continue working as a dispatcher/is unsure about her relationship with Chim.

For work, Chim, Eddie and Buck all use black duffel bags with a LAFD patch on the top. Hen uses several different cute bags, and Bobby seems to have a plain black duffel bag.

Watches - Bobby, Athena, Chim, Hen and Buck all wear their watch on their left wrist (but Athena ONLY wears hers for work, she takes it off at home.) Eddie wears his on his right wrist, and Maddie doesn’t wear one.

Chim (and Maddie by default) literally still have the exact same couch as in the pilot. (Which means that Chim has cuddled Tatiana on that couch, AND Albert has had sex on it. TIME TO GET A NEW ONE, BUCKLEY-HANS 😂)

The 118 has five different rigs - the engine (E118), the ladder truck (T118), two ambulances and the captain’s truck. 95% of the time, when the team is chilling in the cab of a rig and chatting (eg the ‘stuck under a live telephone pole’ scene in Jinx), they’re in the engine, not the truck. (Which I personally learned recently are NOT interchangeable terms!)

Athena and Michael got married when Athena was 37.

If you’d like to give Maddie a full name beyond “Maddie”, you should use Madeline. (I know, I know, in 4x04 she says Maddie is the name on her birth certificate, and that you should never use props details if they contradict script details, but I always thought that was a super weird exchange in 4x04 which could be explained by Maddie getting a nickname since she was born when Margaret and Phillip, you know, actually loved their kids and showed it, so of course Buck doesn’t get one, and in 4x04, Maddie was trying to avoid the entire issue of why she got one and Buck didn’t. But! Do what you want, and use Madeline as the full version of Maddie if you’d like, since that’s what’s on the BOLO in 2x13 😂)

Athena’s call sign is 727 L30, but she doesn’t have a specific squad car - the number changes throughout the series.

Chim really likes chewing gum, but he’s the only one out of the entire family!

The station has an Xbox One S, and it’s white.

In the real LAFD, there are stations 1 through 114. To avoid confusion while filming on the streets (I’m assuming), our fictional LAFD never uses the number of a real station. So if you want another station for a fic, and you want something that would be real in OUR universe, use the numbers 115 and above. They’ve gone as high as 221 in our universe.

Battalions - station 118 is in Battalion 7, which is also not a battalion in real Los Angeles. The 118 has interacted w/ Battalion 1, which is a real battalion, but other ‘non-real which makes them more likely for our universe’ battalions include numbers: 3, 8, 13, 16, 19 and above.

S1 Buck knew the term Jedi, but based on context, didn’t understand AT ALL the context provided by Star Wars, so there’s another edge of his pop culture limits for you.

Chim is the most tech-savvy out of everyone, hands down.

Athena has a VERY active Twitter account.

Abuela’s house number is 8902. I don’t have a street name for you unfortunately though. :/

Athena’s favorite flowers are white roses. None of the other women are really flower people.

Michael likes to wear purple.

When they’re at a call, Buck does pretty much all of the stuff with the hammer and the saw. Eddie does all the work needed with the drill.

Harry goes to Meadowbrook Elementary.

Buck lives on the fourth floor of his apartment building, across the hall from Apt. 416. The lovely @lovelessmotel found this listing for what is more or less the apartment. What happened was: the set crew rented this apartment for the one episode at the end of s2 when Buck moved in, and then over the summer before s3 built their own set of it, and changed some things - eg giving him an island, and moving the sink to a second counter against the far wall, you can see the changes here in this amazing gif set by the awesome Austen, but the listing should let you click around a little more upstairs and figure out dimensions better than what the show provides!

When Athena and Hen go out to eat together, it’s always fast food burgers and fries.

Waffles are Athena’s favorite food, and tiramisu is her favorite dessert.

Every takeout we’ve seen Buck eat has always been in a Chinese food takeout container, and we know he likes Thai food the best. EXCEPT! The one time we see him eat takeout with Eddie and Christopher, they have pizza. So take from that what you will......

Eddie has a cell phone and a landline.

Chim is a shameless multiple texter.

Chim and Bobby sleep closest to the door in their respective bedrooms (both right side of the bed if you are standing at the foot, facing the headboard), and Athena and Maddie sleep furthest away from the door (left side).

Some canon last names for other firefighters at the station in case you wanna add more people to a fic - Mitchell, Sanchez, Serrano (woman), Porter, Meyers (woman), Maxwell, Voyta

Hen and Karen really love decorating their house with dark/red wood.

Karen is Mommy and Hen is Mama.

Bobby has a brother, and a grandmother, and that’s literally ALL we know about his family outside of Marcy and the kids.

Evidence points to Eddie being the oldest child in his family.

Karen has multiple brothers (no sisters), but no idea how many - just that one of them is named Trey, and one of them lives in LA and has kids. They might be the same brother and they might not be.

Both Hen and Athena are only children.

Athena has been on the police force for 30 years.

Christopher and Denny are the same age (born in 2011), and Harry is two years older than them.

Michael lives in apartment 308.

The bank in this universe is CalAm.

Hen and Karen have a picture of Denny, May and Harry on their fireplace mantel.

Eddie having a black thumb + a lot of plants in his living room = him buying fake plants bc he likes the aesthetic ™ or someone (cough Carla cough) is taking care of them for him.

The COVID timeline in OG’s universe is fucked up compared to the real world’s, so it shouldn’t be used as a way to measure time! They just throw it in wherever it makes sense for the story they want to tell (eg the vaccines in s4 ep 8), since s3 was both done before COVID hit but also airing while it was happening. It makes absolutely no sense for May to graduate in March nor for Chris to be going to what is specifically labeled summer camp, and the vaccine plotline was INCREDIBLY early, even for real life, so don’t use anything from that as a measure of time. I’ve found except in specific examples, eg the two tsunami episodes, it’s very safe to say every episode covers a week - fall holidays on the show line up with their real life counterparts, indicating about the same amount of time is passing for us and them.

On that note - Jee-Yun was born in late January, early February 2021. (Conceived in Pinned, which was end of March/beginning of April, meaning Maddie was around a month along at May’s graduation in May ➡ 42 weeks + 3 days from then = late Jan/early Feb. Which unfortunately means we most likely won’t see her birthday celebrated on screen. If we assume she was conceived on the date Pinned aired, aka the very sexy hotel scene, then January 21st or 22nd would be Jee’s birthday, depending on if she was born after midnight or not.

Buck has had at least one other Jeep between the one Maddie gave him, and the one he has now, which means that when he needs a new car, he is purposefully choosing Jeeps.

I hope this was all as interesting/enjoyable to you as it was to me! And just to repeat - I love answering questions so pls let me know if you have any at all ❤

🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

Tagging: @buckbuckley

#911 fox #911 canon character details #athena grant #bobby nash #chimney han #hen wilson #maddie buckley #evan buckley #eddie diaz #bathena #madney #henren #buddie #userac #hey yall if anyone else wants to be added to these tags let me know #im happy to do so #I feel like I have v little for Bobby here sorry :/ #I’ll work on getting lots for him next time

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

In the end of it all, Monaca Towa was still a child.

To start this off, this isn't my usual Black Butler posts but ive been meaning to talk about Danganronpa for a hot minute, so please bear with me! Second, this is solely my opinion and before anyone wants to attack me please read thoroughly first. Thank you:)

(Spoiler warning for Danganronpa: Ultra Despair Girls and Danganronpa 3)

Also, before we dive in I'm going to list some trigger warnings:

Physcological abuse

Physical abuse

Manipulation

P*dophillia

Suicide attempt

Violence (?)

Childhood trauma

Please take care and read at your own risk<3

Hello there Danganronpa fandom! Today I will be talking about Monaca Towa (as stated in the title) and how people often minimize her trauma and sometimes forget the fact that shes still a child who got heavily manipulated by Junko too.

Monaca is seemingly very amiable and caring, because of her charming personality, all of the Warriors of Hope love her and try their best to keep her happy and go along with what she wants. However, it's slowly revealed that she is actually manipulative and cunning behind her friendly facade.

Monoca is a character that is cruel, manipulative, and extremly unhinged. Many of her actions cannot be excused or justified, but you can understand where she's coming from.

Monaca's Backstory:

She was born an unwanted child by both her father and her mother. Monaca's mother was supposed to take care of her but instead abandoned the child soon after her birth. Because of all her actions, Monaca saw her mother as a completely selfish and pathetic person. Monaca's father thought of giving her to an orphanage but instead took her into his family.

However, Monaca was always unwanted and everyone else felt uncomfortable around her. Every time Monaca smiled or joked, the others looked at her coldly, as if she didn't deserve to laugh. Every time she spoke, the others turned silent. His older-half brother thought of her as an alien, not part of the family.

She was also physically abused to the point that she pretended to be seriously wounded for them to stop as a result.

Monaca also attended Hope's Peak Elementary School and was part of the "trouble-makers class" along with Nagisa, Masaru, Jataro, and Kotoko.

Along with her fellow abused classmates, she planned a group suicide; however, Monaca never had any plans to commit suicide in the first place and was planning to let the others die as a prank.

The group suicide was stopped by Junko, who took the kids in and manipulated them by treating them with kindness and love.

Monaca then helped Junko mass produce Monokumas for the Tragedy by using her position as a representative of the Towa Group.

She lied to her father and the other adults in order to produce the Monokumas, telling them that she wanted to create futuristic robots that could be domestic helpers and emergency aid workers.

Due to her separation from the family and her genius, her family decided to give her leg room to do what she wanted as long as she brought in profits to the company, and didn't delve too deeply into her plans.

Things to keep in mind about Monoca's backstory:

She was emotionally and physically abused from a very young age.

She started to pretend to be paraplegic because she was finally treated with some kindness and she could have more control over people.

She convinced Nagisa, Jataro, Kotoko and Masaru to commit suicide.

Out of all the Warriros of Hope, Junko took the most intrest in Monoca due to her position, meaning that she was the one who got used and manipulated the most.

How Monoca's mindset works:

The moment she got physically abused to the point that she had to fake her injuries to make her family feel bad was the moment she learned that through sympathy from others comes power. Due to her families neglection and abuse, she started to quickly pick up on things in which benefited her yet hurt others.

She started to use manipulative tactics on her family to gain control over them. She then started implicating these tactics with the Warriors of Hope.

When Junko got into the picture, everything changed for the worst. Junko was the only person in Monaca's life who showed her affection. Even though deep down Monaca knew Junko only cared for her as a means to use her robotics genius for the Tragedy, Monaca didn't care, and happily helped out Junko with her plans if it meant being loved and appreciated in return. At the heart of it, despite all her horrific acts, that's a very child-like thing to do, right? So when Junko dies, Monaca's entire reason for living basically disappears.

AI Junko via Kurokuma may have planted the idea of a successor in her head, but in Monaca's mind it's a way to get her big sis back, and very specifically chooses to mold Komaru into becoming Junko's successor. That's for a big reason, Monaca doesn't want to become Junko, I'd say she actually just wanted her big sister back who would love and appreciate her again, and hence tried to make someone else take on that role initially. Once again, that's the mindset of a child.

Monaca's relationship with the Warriors of Hope:

The Warriors of Hope are a group of children who are extremely resentful and hateful of adults, regardless of whether or not they were involved in their rough paths. 

We all know that the Warriros of Hope are extememly tramutized kids. Masaru had alcoholic parents who physically abused him, Jataro was physcologically abused to the point he bealived he was so ugly that if anyone saw his "repulsive" face they would die, Kotoko was r*ped multiple times by disgusting p*dophilic men (not to mention, Monaca's brother was attracted to her), and last but not least we have Nagisa who had pressuring parents who wanted to raise him as the child prodigy and expirimented on him constantly.

Monaca used the Warriros of Hope's trauma against them, manipulating them to the point were they had to do her bidding completly.

As much as I hate to say it, Monaca truly saw them as pawns. Although there are some instances where she openly declares her care for the Warriors of Hope, it's likely she does that as a form of emotional manipulation.

If anything, she probably did see them as equal in the beginning but then when she started to gain control over her own family, she started to do the same with the Warriors of Hope as a way to protect herself from getting hurt, then again this is my baseless assumption.

Her dynamic with Nagito:

Monaca was amused by Nagito's strange behavior and contradicting beliefs and appeared to be somewhat annoyed with him at the times. However, the two appeared to at least seemingly respect each other in some way, as they treated each other somewhat formally as allies.

Her dynamic with Nagito is one of the most intresting ones. Obviously I think that her being rasied by Nagito was potentially a dangerous thing, considering Nagito's goal was for Monaca to become Enoshima's successor. Monaca seemed to agree with this goal, but Nagito's constant rambling about hope and despair made Monaca bored and feel embarrassed about the whole thing.

She claims he made her an adult in a way, as she grew up in the mental sense and became more cynical and apathetic, not really caring about anything.

In the end, Monaca found Nagito creepy and annoying, but she also appeared to get closer to him during their time together, while originally calling him just "Mister Servant" in UDG, she later refers to him as "Big Bro" in Danganronpa 3. I do think their dynamic was sort of soft and I would've loved to have seen more of it. Honestly the concept of Nagito being a soft brother to Monaca warms my heart, and the wasted potential will forever anger me.

(If any Danganronpa fanfic writer or any writer in general is reading this post: if u could be so kind and do a PLATONIC Nagito and Monaca prompt and tag me in it, I would love you forever!!)

My opinion on Monaca:

I think that Monaca was a very well-written character who deserved more than what she got in the end of Danganronpa 3. She was abused, mistreated and belittled by her family. If anything, I see her as a completely misguided little girl. If she actually had a positive authoritative influence in her life, she wouldn't have turned astray.

A lot of people disregard Monaca's trauma and forget that at the end of the day, Monaca was a child who the moment she was born, the people who were supposed to love her were unwelcoming.

Don't get me wrong though, there is no way in hell I will ever justify or condone the things Monaca has done. If anything, I just think that she alongside the rest of the Warriors of Hope should've been properly taken care of.

Also, if you dislike/hate Monaca thats 100% valid! She did a lot of inexcusable things and its alright to hate on her. I personally love her character but I know she is not everyones cup of tea.

If you read all the way, I'm actually surprised! Thank you and I hope you enjoyed<333

#Danganronpa #danganronpa text post #Warriors of hope #kotoko utsugi #masaru daimon #jataro kemuri #nagisa shingetsu #Monoca Towa #Monokuma #Junko enoshima #Nagito komaeda #Ultra despair girls #udg #udg nagito #Danganronpa 3 #Komaru Naegi #Toko fukawa #Tokomaru #Hope and despair #Monaca Towa #Haji Towa

[edelegs]

so I have a very specific interpretation of the Edelgard/Hubert dynamic that I don’t think is particularly common, but I feel is worth sharing. This is largely because some people end up diminishing the importance of this relationship when pairing each of them with other people. It’s disappointing because I personally prefer these external ships (namely Edeleth and Ferdibert, for reasons I will make clear) but often see either Edelgard or Hubert reduced to some jealous, cuckoled cockblock in them. Honestly, that’s just . . . boring. 

(Long post under the cut)

TLDR: Edelbert is fascinating because it can be argued that Hubert’s feelings are born from guilt and shame rather than romantic love. This dynamic is unhealthy but deeply interesting, and it deserves to not be diminished in fan interpretations of these characters. 

Something that makes Edelgard so compelling is the fact that she’s full of contradictions. She can’t stand people/creatures with more power than humanly possible, yet she must use her own superhuman power and cooperate with what she despises to achieve her end goal. More specific to Edelbert, this end goal is equality, yet Edelgard is not allowed to be equal to anyone. She is a detached, untouchable princess who needs to learn how to meet her friends where they stand. It is through her connection to Byleth and to the other Black Eagles where she learns how to adapt her ideals to work in reality - and to be human. 

Unintentionally, Hubert does the opposite of this. His devotion to Edelgard began as an inherited role and evolved into something he does out of personal conviction. Either way, he is putting her on a pedestal and addressing her as a vassal rather than as a friend. Many of his supports with others involve him comparing them to Edelgard and telling them they’ll never reach her level. He takes it as his personal mission to protect her from those “unworthy” of talking to her. I don’t think this is intended to be selfish or malicious. I think that because of his role as her vassal and his failure to protect her from the Hresvelg experiments, he takes on this absolute devotion and prescribes it upon everyone else. 

Their relationship is unbalanced as a result. Edelgard makes constant reference to “fighting alone” and being prepared to end up isolated and maligned. The line “the solitary reign of Edelgard has come to an end” in her S-support is particularly telling. While she clearly views Hubert as someone important to her, she does not seem to view him as someone she can be fully open with. Hubert’s constant addressing of her as “Lady Edelgard” implies that he would not take the opportunity to call her “El” if it was presented to him. Edelgard and Hubert are both so caught up in the weight and scope of their revolution that they begin to enable each other’s bad tendencies. Hubert doesn’t dare challenge her, because he thinks of her as untouchable, and this devotion allows Edelgard to take him for granted. It is not a healthy relationship. I don’t think this is a particularly hot take. Their external supports are crucial for shifting these patterns of thought and allowing these characters to grow. 

What I think may be unpopular is this: I don’t think Hubert’s feelings for Edelgard are actually romantic. 

(For context, I am aro and just really hate m/f friends getting shoved together romantically. It may be easy to dismiss my thoughts as just me being bitter that we can’t have a m/f friend pair without one of them catching feelings but allow me to argue my point.) 

Hubert was assigned to Edelgard at a young age and told it was his house’s sacred duty to serve the Hresvelg family. He loathes his father for his involvement in the Insurrection of the Seven, which happened when he was ten. It goes without saying that this largely shapes his devotion to Edelgard. I would even say these events traumatized him to some degree. He mentions this in their A support, where he declares that his loyalty has been to her alone since she returned from the Kingdom. The path that these two share is informed and shaped by trauma - what Edelgard went through and Hubert’s powerlessness to stop it. More critically, these events radicalized them both and created the “shared vision” mentioned in his B support with Dorothea. 

That particular support jumps out to me. When I first played the game, I felt unbelievably validated by it. Hubert denies accusations of unrequited love in an edgily self-aware way (the line ”do I really look like the kind of drooling simpleton to have that kind of motivation?” made me literally cheer) and goes on to describe their relationship as walking the same path. He then highlights the qualities he feels towards Edelgard (gratitude, respect, awe, empathy, trust, and hope). None of these require romantic attraction. Dorothea then goes on to say that “loving another is really about wanting to be loved . . . I’m pretty sure that’s different from how things are with you and Edie”. This scene spoke a lot to my own experiences - my feelings for my best friend largely echo Hubert’s (though way less dramatic, of course) and I found the form of deep platonic love I feel for her reflected in that conversation. The acknowledgement on Dorothea’s part that it was different from romantic love (whether or not she truly believes it) is what blew me away. This is honestly one of the few times where a piece of media made me feel seen which makes me forever mad about the Edelbert A support.Though it could be argued that he’s just closed-off and could easily pull off lying about it, I know those feelings well. Others might see this as definitive proof of Hubert’s unrequited love for Edelgard, but I just can’t and I wanted to articulate this perspective because it means so much to me. Close, all-consuming, and important relationships can be platonic. 

I know better than to claim that the confession scene never happened. It is interesting to evaluate because it shows Edelgard finally calling attention to Hubert’s unknowing perpetuation of the gap between them. When Hubert states his feelings plainly, he is as composed as ever. Edelgard blushes and states that “you never cease to surprise me”. Hubert laughs this off, and that’s the end of that. It clearly is supposed to be a genuine love confession, but I think it’s more interesting to consider a man with only one real close friend misinterpreting his blind devotion towards her as love because he doesn’t really know what it is. I think it adds to the kind of fucked-up nature of their relationship (is it love or obsession? How is he supposed to know if a connection borne from trauma stems from love or guilt?). It also speaks to how difficult it is to identify romantic feelings when you’ve never truly felt them. 

That being said, I actually do ship Hubert with other people. I love Ferdibert because their personality clashes create a sense of mutual growth that helps Hubert learn to openly challenge Edelgard rather than subvert orders he disagrees with and it’s honestly just really funny. I also love Hubernie because the idea of a terrifying man and a girl who’s scared of everything learning to meet each other halfway shows similar character growth. I just think that for many years, Hubert’s devotion to Edelgard gave him a really fucked up understanding of human relationships, both romantic and platonic. There’s a tendency to erase the weight and importance of the Edelbert dynamic when both are shipped with other people as well as a great opportunity to show that strong platonic relationships can and should be perceived as equal to romantic ones. I have read so many Ferdibert things that suggest that their love is all-encompassing and Makes Them Whole. Wouldn’t it be more in-character to explore how they navigate the web of relationships in their lives? I love the Black Eagles’ interpersonal relationships so much and each one shapes the characters more and more. I’d love to see that reflected in ways that center platonic relationships! 

#long post #hubert is a demiromantic bi king and we stan #fe3h #hubert von vestra #edelgard von hresvelg #ferdibert #edeleth #character analysis #black eagles

[whitehotharlots]

The point is control

Whenever we think or talk about censorship, we usually conceptualize it as certain types of speech being somehow disallowed: maybe (rarely) it's made formally illegal by the government, maybe it's banned in certain venues, maybe the FCC will fine you if you broadcast it, maybe your boss will fire you if she learns of it, maybe your friends will stop talking to you if they see what you've written, etc. etc. 

This understanding engenders a lot of mostly worthless discussion precisely because it's so broad. Pedants--usually arguing in favor of banning a certain work or idea--will often argue that speech protections only apply to direct, government bans. These bans, when they exist, are fairly narrow and apply only to those rare speech acts in which other people are put in danger by speech (yelling the N-word in a crowded theater, for example). This pedantry isn't correct even within its own terms, however, because plenty of people get in trouble for making threats. The FBI has an entire entrapment program dedicated to getting mentally ill muslims and rednecks to post stuff like "Death 2 the Super bowl!!" on twitter, arresting them, and the doing a press conference about how they heroically saved the world from terrorism. 

Another, more recent pedant's trend is claiming that, actually, you do have freedom of speech; you just don't have freedom from the consequences of speech. This logic is eerily dictatorial and ignores the entire purpose of speech protections. Like, even in the history's most repressive regimes, people still technically had freedom of speech but not from consequences. Those leftist kids who the nazis beheaded for speaking out against the war were, by this logic, merely being held accountable. 

The two conceptualizations of censorship I described above are, 99% of the time, deployed by people who are arguing in favor of a certain act of censorship but trying to exempt themselves from the moral implications of doing so. Censorship is rad when they get to do it, but they realize such a solipsism seems kinda icky so they need to explain how, actually, they're not censoring anybody, what they're doing is an act of righteous silencing that's a totally different matter. Maybe they associate censorship with groups they don't like, such as nazis or religious zealots. Maybe they have a vague dedication toward Enlightenment principles and don't want to be regarded as incurious dullards. Most typically, they're just afraid of the axe slicing both ways, and they want to make sure that the precedent they're establishing for others will not be applied to themselves.

Anyone who engages with this honestly for more than a few minutes will realize that censorship is much more complicated, especially in regards to its informal and social dimensions. We can all agree that society simply would not function if everyone said whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. You might think your boss is a moron or your wife's dress doesn't look flattering, but you realize that such tidbits are probably best kept to yourself. 

Again, this is a two-way proposition that everyone is seeking to balance. Do you really want people to verbalize every time they dislike or disagree with you? I sure as hell don't. And so, as part of a social compact, we learn to self-censor. Sometimes this is to the detriment of ourselves and our communities. Most often, however, it's just a price we have to pay in order to keep things from collapsing. 

But as systems, large and small, grow increasingly more insane and untenable, so do the comportment standards of speech. The disconnect between America's reality and the image Americans have of themselves has never been more plainly obvious, and so striving for situational equanimity is no longer good enough. We can't just pretend cops aren't racist and the economy isn't run by venal retards or that the government places any value on the life of its citizens. There's too much evidence that contradicts all that, and the evidence is too omnipresent. There's too many damn internet videos, and only so many of them can be cast as Russian disinformation. So, sadly, we must abandon our old ways of communicating and embrace instead systems that are even more unstable, repressive, and insane than the ones that were previously in place.

Until very, very recently, nuance and big-picture, balanced thinking were considered signs of seriousness, if not intelligence. Such considerations were always exploited by shitheads to obfuscate things that otherwise would have seemed much less ambiguous, yes, but this fact alone does not mitigate the potential value of such an approach to understanding the world--especially since the stuff that's been offered up to replace it is, by every worthwhile metric, even worse.

So let's not pretend I'm Malcolm Gladwell or some similarly slimy asshole seeking to "both sides" a clearcut moral issue. Let's pretend I am me. Flash back to about a year ago, when there was real, widespread, and sustained support for police reform. Remember that? Seems like forever ago, man, but it was just last year... anyhow, now, remember what happened? Direct, issues-focused attempts to reform policing were knocked down. Blotted out. Instead, we were told two things: 1) we had to repeat the slogan ABOLISH THE POLICE, and 2) we had to say it was actually very good and beautiful and nonviolent and valid when rioters burned down poor neighborhoods.

Now, in a relatively healthy discourse, it might have been possible for someone to say something like "while I agree that American policing is heavily violent and racist and requires substantial reforms, I worry that taking such an absolutist point of demanding abolition and cheering on the destruction of city blocks will be a political non-starter." This statement would have been, in retrospect, 100000000% correct. But could you have said it, in any worthwhile manner? If you had said something along those lines, what would the fallout had been? Would you have lost friends? Your job? Would you have suffered something more minor, like getting yelled at, told your opinion did not matter? Would your acquaintances still now--a year later, after their political project has failed beyond all dispute--would they still defame you in "whisper networks," never quite articulating your verbal sins but nonetheless informing others that you are a dangerous and bad person because one time you tried to tell them how utterly fucking self-destructive they were being? It is undeniably clear that last year's most-elevated voices were demanding not reform but catharsis. I hope they really had fun watching those immigrant-owned bodegas burn down, because that’s it, that will forever be remembered as the most palpable and consequential aspect of their shitty, selfish movement. We ain't reforming shit. Instead, we gave everyone who's already in power a blank check to fortify that power to a degree you and I cannot fully fathom.

But, oh, these people knew what they were doing. They were good little boys and girls. They have been rewarded with near-total control of the national discourse, and they are all either too guilt-ridden or too stupid to realize how badly they played into the hands of the structures they were supposedly trying to upend.

And so left-liberalism is now controlled by people whose worldview is equal parts superficial and incoherent. This was the only possible outcome that would have let the system continue to sustain itself in light of such immense evidence of its unsustainability without resulting in reform, so that's what has happened.

But... okay, let's take a step back. Let's focus on what I wanted to talk about when I started this.

I came across a post today from a young man who claimed that his high school English department head had been removed from his position and had his tenure revoked for refusing to remove three books from classrooms. This was, of course, fallout from the ongoing debate about Critical Race Theory. Two of those books were Marjane Satropi's Persepolis and, oh boy, The Diary of Anne Frank. Fuck. Jesus christ, fuck.

Now, here's the thing... When Persepolis was named, I assumed the bannors were anti-CRT. The graphic novel does not deal with racism all that much, at least not as its discussed contemporarily, but it centers an Iranian girl protagonist and maybe that upset Republican types. But Anne Frank? I'm sorry, but the most likely censors there are liberal identiarians who believe that teaching her diary amounts to centering the suffering of a white woman instead of talking about the One Real Racism, which must always be understood in an American context. The super woke cult group Black Hammer made waves recently with their #FuckAnneFrank campaign... you'd be hard pressed to find anyone associated with the GOP taking a firm stance against the diary since, oh, about 1975 or so.

So which side was it? That doesn't matter. What matters is, I cannot find out.

Now, pro-CRT people always accuse anti-CRT people of not knowing what CRT is, and then after making such accusations they always define CRT in a way that absolutely is not what CRT is. Pro-CRTers default to "they don't want  students to read about slavery or racism." This is absolutely not true, and absolutely not what actual CRT concerns itself with. Slavery and racism have been mainstays of American history curriucla since before I was born. Even people who barely paid attention in school would admit this, if there were any more desire for honesty in our discourse. 

My high school history teacher was a southern "lost causer" who took the south's side in the Civil War but nonetheless provided us with the most descriptive and unapologetic understandings of slavery's brutalities I had heard up until that point. He also unambiguously referred to the nuclear attacks on Hiroshmia and Nagasaki as "genocidal." Why? Because most people's politics are idiosyncratic, and because you cannot genuinely infer a person to believe one thing based on their opinion of another, tangentially related thing. The totality of human understanding used to be something open-minded people prided themselves on being aware of, believe it or not...

This is the problem with CRT. This is is the motivation behind the majority of people who wish to ban it. It’s not because they are necessarily racist themselves. It’s because they recognize, correctly, that the now-ascendant frames for understanding social issues boils everything down to a superficial patina that denies not only the realities of the systems they seek to upend but the very humanity of the people who exist within them. There is no humanity without depth and nuance and complexities and contradictions. When you argue otherwise, people will get mad and fight back. 

And this is the most bitter irony of this idiotic debate: it was never about not wanting to teach the sinful or embarrassing parts of our history. That was a different debate, one that was settled and won long ago. It is instead an immense, embarrassing overreach on behalf of people who have bullied their way to complete dominance of their spheres of influence within media and academe assuming they could do the same to everyone else. Some of its purveyors may have convinced themselves that getting students to admit complicity in privilege will prevent police shootings, sure. But I know these people. I’ve spoken to them at length. I’ve read their work. The vast, vast majority of them aren’t that stupid. The point is to exert control. The point is to make sure they stay in charge and that nothing changes. The point is failure. 

[sami-guinea-arts]

Edit: Anyone starting drama will be fucking blocked. I had someone give me a death threat over them and that's enough. Grow the fuck up.

Luca

The first born and only boy, who is a meister. He has a grigori soul and anti demon/magic wavelength! Inspired by my friend’s idea, he is a writer due Crona writing poems and Maka’s love for reading. He is more of an outsider who prefers to be alone and studying/writing.

He has Maka’s eyes but Crona’s eyecolor, their haircolors mixed. The pale skin is the same as Crona’s in the manga.

Saki

Middle child, only a year younger than her brother. She’s a flamberge sword and has black blood, being able to use it’s abilities. Due the black blood, she inherited bits of Ragnarock as well, tending act rude like him sometimes untintentionally, what heavily contradicts with her more shy personality.

Has Crona’s eyes and pink hair from the manga, but Maka’s eye- and skincolor.

Akai

The last born. Due to recessive genes from Crona’s side, she was born as a witch with a dragon theme. However, she was also born with a terrible disease that is apparently not curable, starting at the age of 3. Ever since then she has just been in bed in immense pain.

“This child is recieving the punishment for her ancestors’ wicked weeds… She’ll suffer for all eternity.” - Maaba, analysing the illness. Ancestors as in the Gorgon sisters, their parents and the linage of that family. Obviously in such a state, she is easy to corrupt, her parents trying their best so does not activate her pull of magic.

Kids can get grandparents’ traits too, which is why she has Spirit’s red hair, but the blue hair tips from Crona. Skin color is that of Crona and Maka mixed, same with the eyes.

#maka albarn #crona #crona x maka #croma #soul eater #soul eater oc #soul eater next gen oc #soul eater next gen #maka x crona #crona gorgon #well here it's crona albarn #my art #my ocs

[maybedefinitely404]

Day 1: Logince

@tsshipmonth2020

Day 1: Your soulmate’s name is on your wrist.

Content: Flower/Tattoo Shop AU, background character death (unspecified cause, none of the sides), that’s pretty much it, it’s just soft Logince.

Word count: 2.7k

A small ding from the store entrance pulled Roman out of his thoughts, and he groaned softly. It was nearing the end of his shift, almost closing time, and another customer at this time would probably mean he was staying after hours again. All he wanted to do was go home and watch cheap reality TV in his sweatpants while shoveling handfuls of hot cheetos into his mouth. So sue him, it had been a long day. But nooo. Someone else had just walked in, probably someone with a very specific style that was out of season and they would argue for half an hour, no matter how many times he explained that tulips aren’t blooming right now, Vanessa! 

Sure, usually his customers were great. Nervous first anniversaries, eccentric brides, all that romance stuff. He loved it. And they were usually all too willing to give him a budget and a color scheme and let him go wild, which was the best part about his job. He was good at it, too. His boss had seen his eye for style and almost immediately gave him solo shifts, which meant decently good pay and hours alone to belt out songs amongst the flowers and daydream to his heart’s content. It was a small enough business that the only mandatory part of his outfit was a green apron, so he could wear whatever he wanted, and he didn’t need a pesky nametag. Those had always weirded him out just a bit. So yeah, he loved his job, but right now, he knew himself too well. He had awful luck. 

With a forced customer service grin, he poked out of the backroom and began his usual spiel of, “Thanks for coming to The Rainbow Bouquet, what can I get started…” 

His words died in his throat at the mere sight of the man before him. Never had he been so equally attracted and frightened at the same time.

He was tall, probably just taller than him, but he held himself in a way that made Roman feel miniscule. Both arms were covered in tattoo sleeves, the left one a flurried mix of black and white and color, beautiful strips of pink and blue galaxies blending with grayscale skulls and clocks. The other had more order; shadows of a forest growing from around his wrist, shimmering mist curling up over his bicep and ending with a full moon stamped on his shoulder like a crest. A corner of something peaked up around the collar of his torn vest, and if Roman had to guess, there were most likely plenty more tattoos that were covered by his ripped black jeans and blue Nasa shirt. Not that his mind was going there at all, no siree. 

Once Roman’s brain had screeched to a halt back in his body, he spoke again.

“What can I get started for you today?”

The man swallowed with difficulty, taking in the rows and rows of flowers surrounding him. He definitely didn’t look in his element.

“I need an arrangement for my mother. She’s in the hospital.”

Ah, the part of the job that Roman didn’t enjoy. Probably half the orders that came in were for sick people or funerals, and those were always a lot harder to arrange. It was always hard to find joy in creating for something so dismal.

“I’m sorry to hear. Did you have anything specific in mind? Does she have a favorite flower?”

“Daisies. She likes Daisies,” He murmured, still admiring the space around him. Roman couldn’t help but smile at the man’s expression. It was just a little awe inspired, a little bit of childish wonder, under that rough exterior. It was a gorgeous shop, that’s one of the reasons Roman had started working there.

“That’s good, it makes it a little easier for me to design something when I have that to go off of. Do you have a budget, or…”

He shook his head weakly, finally turning to look at Roman. “Price isn’t an issue. This is one of the last things I’m going to be able to give her.”

“Oh,” Roman whispered, slowly putting down the pen he’d been writing with, “I’m so sorry.”

“It can’t be changed. There’s no point in losing sleep over it.”

“Just because it’s going to happen doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. You’re allowed to be sad about it.”

The man narrowed his eyes, giving Roman a once over before lifting his chin slightly. “I don’t need advice from a stranger.”

“Of course you don’t,” Roman quickly corrected, remembering he was still at work, “My apologies. When did you want to pick it up?”

“I’m visiting her tomorrow at noon. Could it be ready by then?”

“You bet. Can I have a name for the pick up?”

“Logan.” Roman’s pen skittered over his notepad, almost falling through his fingers. 

Having a common name on your wrist was a curse in and of itself. And poor him, the hopeless romantic that he was, had met countless “Logan’s” in his day, and consequently fallen for most of them at first introduction, only to figure out quickly that they weren’t destined for a “Roman”. As inconspicuously as possible, he tried to glance down at Logan’s wrist, only finding a mass of swirling tattoos covering his skin. Dammit. There were some people born without soulmates, or had their soulmark fade to nothingness when their person passed away, and he tried not to think too terribly hard on which one Logan was. He tampered his rush of excitement as quickly as it had arisen and turned back to his notes, ignoring Logan’s raised eyebrow at his sudden stop.

Roman scribbled down the name and phone number as it was given, setting down the notepad with a customer service smile. The man spent no time dawdling, immediately starting towards the door, only to hesitate before walking out.

“Her favorite color is yellow.”

Roman nodded, the fake smile slowly morphing into an authentic one. “I can work with that.”

It was now a week after Logan had picked up the bouquet, a somewhat awkward interaction filled with small compliments towards the arrangement and Roman nearly dropping the flowers as their fingers touched while passing it over. As he was ringing up the total, he’d been able to uphold a brief conversation where Logan revealed he was a tattoo artist (no shock, considering he showed more inked skin than plain), and Roman showed off his rose tattoo on his upper arm. It would have been fine if the conversation ended there, but no, Logan had to reach up tentatively to brush his finger along the edge of the piece, commenting off handedly about how the color had started to fade.

“How long ago did you get this done?”

“Probably ten years, give or take.”

“You’re what, mid twenties? There’s no way you were legal ten years ago.”

“Who said I was?” It was said with a small wink that made Logan pull his hand away, an action that immediately dampened Roman’s mood.

“If you ever want it touched up, come by the shop. It’s just down the road.”

Roman had promised to consider, pulling the collar of his long sleeve shirt back up over the rose and bidding the man a good visit to his mother. Even now, a full week later, he couldn’t help his thoughts that were so centered around the tattoo artist. So maybe that was why Logan walked back into the shop the following Wednesday. I simped so hard I summoned him, Roman thought weakly as the gorgeous man strode straight up to the counter, leaning on it like he owned it. 

“I have a question.”

“What’s your question?  

“A client asked me yesterday to design a tattoo for her. A bouquet, seen from the top, and all she specified was it should feature hydrangeas, and she asked me to, quote, ‘go nuts’.”

“This isn’t sounding like a question so far.”

Logan sighed apprehensively, adjusting his glasses, “I was hoping you could give me some ideas on how to start. All the tips I found online contradicted each other in some way or another, and the arrangement you created for my mother was so well done…”

He trailed off, giving Roman a look that clearly said I need your help but don’t make me ask for it. Chuckling slightly, he leaned onto the counter as well, his face inches away from Logan’s. For the first time, he could see the small piercing on the man’s tongue as he sighed again. God, that’s hot.

“I’ll help you. On one condition.” 

“Being?” 

“Help me design my next tattoo.” In full honesty, he hadn’t even considered a second tattoo until that second. 

“Deal.” There was no hesitation in his answer, and he took Roman’s offered hand, barely shaking it in the small space between them. 

“Alright!” Roman pulled back, satisfied but disappointed as their hands separated, “Let’s talk flowers!”

And talk they did. For hours, in fact. It started with Logan’s tattoo dilemma, and Roman’s skillful eye and creative mind solved that problem in a flash, crudely drawing out a bouquet idea that fit all the criteria. The tattoo artist took it from there, using the notepad paper and Roman’s sketch, along with a quick round of the shop to see what the recommended flowers, fillers, and greens would all look like, and drew out a detailed piece that put Roman’s own art talent to shame. After explaining that his shift was done at the parlor and he had the rest of the afternoon free, Roman invited Logan to stay for a while longer, seeing as his day had dragged on customer-less so far, and he was bored. Plus, now was as good a time as any to pay back the favor. Two mugs of breakroom coffee later, the two were huddled around the counter, Roman describing his ideas and Logan sketching them like there was no tomorrow. Maybe half way through the brainstorm, the conversation switched to Logan’s mother (which he talked about hesitantly), then to Roman’s family, slowly changing to the absurdity of satin couch cushions, then to their favorite foods, and finally ending with a loud debate on whether pineapple deserved to be on pizza.

“It’s a fruit, Logan! Why the hell would you put fruit on a pizza?!”

“All I’m saying is that the sweet flavor of the pineapple balances out the tanginess of the marinara sauce, and adds more to the plain crust!”

“That doesn’t make it right!”

Logan had to go soon after that, wanting to visit his mom before visiting hours ended. He left with a begrudging smile on his face and a promise to come back another day, drawing an ear to ear grin from Roman. He’s just a friend, he reprimanded himself sternly, all the while sliding the drawing of his next possible tattoo into his phone case with startling reverence. No use getting attached to some who wasn’t his soulmate. 

Yet, he still couldn’t help but feel saddened as a week passed again, then two, then a month. His job had returned to it’s boring normalcy, with only the flowers and no cute boy to keep him company. Even when he sat at his little desk next to the counter, hands working effortlessly to string together order after order, he couldn’t help the occasional glance at the door. The hope that his prince charming would waltz back in, piercings and ripped clothing galore, never faded. 

A month and a half later, the little chime above the door dinged, and Roman glanced up from his handful of Baby’s Breath (seriously people, there are other fillers). Immediately a huge smile pulled at his lips and he dropped the half finished bouquet onto his table.

“Logan! What took you so… long…” His expression morphed into one of worry as he took in the other’s appearance. Gone was the usual grunge attire he was so prone to wearing, replaced with a black hoodie and beaten up Vans. His eyes no longer held that dangerous glimmer that had intimidated Roman so much when they first met. He just looked… small. Logan had never looked small before.

“My mom died last month,” He whispered.

Roman was over the desk in a second, pulling the man into his arms before he could protest. It took Logan a second, a long, awkward, stiff second, before he let his arms wrap around his waist, allowing his forehead to rest on the florist’s shoulder. 

“I thought I’d be okay when she died… it was inevitable. It was her time… so why does it still hurt so bad?” The desperate whisper shattered Roman’s heart. 

“You’re allowed to feel sad, Logan.” He felt him merely shake his head in response, but he said nothing to push the topic further. 

Logan didn’t cry as they stood there, though he clung to Roman almost desperately. If he had to guess, the poor man was probably already cried out. He looked exhausted, and his unusually slumped posture only weakened more when Roman tightened his arms ever so slightly. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. You were probably waiting.”

“Hey, no apologizing.”

“I just… didn’t want you to see me like this.”

“So what changed your mind?”

Logan shrugged, still not pulling away, “I couldn’t seem to snap myself out of it. And I needed someone who wouldn’t laugh at me. If our few interactions were anything to go by, you were that person.”

Roman decided to ignore the blatant implication that Logan didn’t have anyone except a practical stranger to go to. They could talk about that later, if he decided to stay for a while. Roman really hoped he did. 

When the tattoo artist finally pulled out of the hug, many minutes later, he pushed his sweater paws under his glasses to scrub at his eyes. Maybe he hadn’t cried, but he sure was close to it. 

“I’m sorry-”

“Stop apologizing.”

“I don’t even know your name, and I-”

“It’s okay, stop-” Roman reeled back slightly, eyebrows shooting into his hairline, “Oh… sweet Zac Efron. I never told you my name! Why didn’t you say anything?!” 

“It felt too late to ask,” Logan smirked subtly despite himself, letting his hands fall back to his side.

“Oh, my sweet summer child.”

“I am none of those things.”

Roman sighed in soft exasperation, smiling at the barely perceivable glimmer in the other’s eyes. Ah, there it is. “My name’s Roman. I can’t believe I forgot to tell you.”

He was instantly concerned with the way Logan’s face fell into one of total shock. Shit, what did he do wrong? The fear was quickly replaced with understanding, however, as the artist’s hand drifted to his right wrist. 

“What are the chances that your wrist says my name on it?” Logan said it like he was scared to be hopeful, like a happy ending was just not imaginable for him. Roman couldn’t comprehend all the emotions he felt at one time; elation, shock, fear. He answered in a choked voice, smiling all the while. 

“One hundred percent.”

The both upturned their arms in near harmony, Roman pulling his gardening glove down to reveal the name. He squinted at Logan’s wrist, finally noticing the small writing that just barely stood out underneath a grayscale (anatomically correct) heart. No wonder he missed it before, it almost blended in with the outline. 

And then Logan did cry, but so did Roman, so it was a little more okay. He seemed more confused than anything as Roman pulled him back in, holding him even tighter than before.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

“I’m so unused to… well, feeling. I’m not usually like this, I believe I’m just sleep deprived and worn out from-”

“You never, ever need to be guilty for feeling, you absolute punk stereotype.” Roman pressed a long kiss to the other’s temple, letting him unwind in his arms. “We’ll work on that together. I promise.”

A muffled affirmative hum was all he got in response. He pressed another kiss to the top of Logan’s head as his crying slowed, breathing out heavily into the man’s hair. Together. That’s all that mattered.  

Peep this gorgeous art piece for this fic

#lywrites #tsshipmonth2020 #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #logince #logan sanders #roman sanders #ts soulmate au

[ameryros]

Black Butler Shinigami & Thorns of Death speculation ramble

Major musical spoilers!!! Read at your own risk! I recommend watching Kuromyu 2, the most beautiful death in the world before reading uwu

Okay so we know that to become a shinigami, a human must take their own life and in return they shall return as a shinigami as punishment. They also do not remember their past life, so they probably do know that they commited suicide, but they don’t know why. They also “work” until the day they are forgiven, but isn’t specified when or how they reach that point.

Shinigami’s work by reaping and collecting human souls and that they cannot interfere once the name is on the list. A human can have their life spared if the human is someone “ who has potential to be beneficial for this world “, which is rare according to the official wiki.

It is said that the thorns of death is caused by a soul of a human that is destined to die, but fight’s back against the shinigami. If that was the case, shouldn’t there be more shinigami’s who have the thorns? I doubt there are very few humans that accept death that peacefully and lets the shinigami do their thing. 

William should have the thorns as well seeing that Thomas fought back against him during his first reap. it was also the only time we ever saw emotion out of that man. If anything, I’d reckon that most of the shinigami’s have the thorns of death.

In the second Black Butler musical we follow Alan Humphries and Eric Slingby. For those who haven’t watched it yet I don’t want to spoil, but the gist of it is that Alan has the thorns of death, and Eric is stealing human souls to try and save Alan (cue crying noises). A thousand human souls to be exact. 

Speculation #1 : The Thorns of Death isn’t from souls fighting back, but rather the Shinigami showing compassion/emotions and/or second thoughts about reaping the soul. The Thorn’s are also not lethal. It is also not a disease or illness.

This is kind of a well known speculation but I wanted to put my thoughts into writing. We know that suicide is what makes a human a shinigami. Wouldn’t it make sense that they would be punished if they showed compassion or kindness to someone who is destined to die? 

They were not kind to themselves, for whatever reason they took their own life and they were reborn as Shinigami. So if we play by the idea that their punishment for committing suicide as humans is to take human life, it would be ironic that they now feel or have second thoughts about taking it. 

Their last act as a human is take their own lives, and in death they shall do it infinitely. 

This brings us to the emotions part. We know that William is all about work. He is robotic in a way, emotionless and numb to everything as long as it doesn’t interfere with his work. As mentioned above the only time we ever see William show emotion is during his first reap, where Thomas essentially fought back, not wanting to die. Since then the William we know and love was born.

“If only I could understand their pain a little better”

“Thinking you could understand another’s feelings as they face death is sheer arrogance”

“Though I’ll never fully understand other’s thoughts as they await death, I feel I’ve gotten a bit closer”

"I was born alone in this world and alone I will die. If this is my fate, why are tears coming out of my eyes?"

- Alan Humphries, Kuroshitsuji Musical, The Most Beautiful Death in the World

 Alan in and of himself is filled with emotions. He is empathetic and wants to understand feelings and emotions of the very people he is taking lives from. To the souls he reaps, he is death. Just as he took his own life, he also faced death. I think he feels the need to understand what they are feeling, whether it’s because he wonders deep inside how he felt when he died, or because he is just a pure and kind soul. (We do not know how Alan died, his Death Scythe is a long handled garden slasher and no other distinct qualities or sign as to how he died) 

Shinigami will spend eternities watching cinematic records, observing human life, and death. It would make sense that a shinigami wouldn’t care if they took human lives, it’s just their jobs. 

Ronald Knox has emotions, he flirts, he is playful and occasionally seen with human women and interacting with them. But he does not care about their lives. As seen in the Book of Atlantic he bids the human woman he was with goodbye, ending it with “if you’re still alive”, which he probably already knows that she does not survive. So it’s entirely possible for a Shinigami to display emotions and a personality, as long as it does not interfere with their job of reaping.

For this speculation emotions is what causes the thorns. And it can be stopped if the Shinigami stopped having feelings or empathy for the human souls they reap. 

William for example, it would make sense that he is entirely void of emotions. If this speculation is right, then he would have the thorns from Thomas, which if he continued to feel or think about, would eventually kill him. If he did the same thing with every soul he reaped, he will die even faster. Getting rid of emotions would essentially get rid of/ not have the thorns, hence surviving. 

Either way, William may or may not have eradicated the thorns, but if he stopped it early enough I don’t think a small amount of thorns would be lethal. He may still feel the prick or pain of it, but it will not lead to his death.

Alan on the other hand is portrayed naturally empathetic, he is filled to the brim with emotions and thoughts about the souls he reaps, and as long as he continues it, the thorns will only sink deeper. 

In my opinion it’s more of a consequence than an illness if we go by this speculation and it is entirely avoidable. After all, they took their own life selfishly, it is now their punishment to take others, but now they hesitate? Or feel for the humans? It’s a baffling concept considering it goes against their whole existence. 

Shinigami’s are the neutral ones. They hold no opinion over the life or death, they just take. So for them to not be neutral, if would still make sense that they get the thorns as punishment/consequence.

Speculation #2: A thousand stolen human souls is needed to “cure” the thorns, but why? 

Let’s say that there is no other way to get rid of the thorns. Once you have it, there’s no stopping it. (We’ll forget about William’s case and focus on Alan)

In the musical we see Eric taking the souls for himself to collect and eventually give to Alan. He goes out of his way to make a whole opera play to garner enough humans to take souls from. 

But why would this work? 

Selfishness. This ties back to why the thorns were there in the first place. 

Feeling or trying to understand human pain or emotions is what gave them the thorns, so if a shinigami would take so much lives so selfishly, so greedily, to save themselves, it would negate the thorns that they acquired.

Having no regard for human life would most likely get rid of the thorns purely because it contradicts the thorns presence in a shinigami. 

But isn’t taking human souls for themselves against the rules? Why, yes, yes it is.

Which is why Eric was sneaking around doing it. He only formulated the mass soul reaping when he realized that Alan does not have much time left, and he needed the souls immediately to save him.

Let’s talk about Eric Slingby for a moment.

“And yet somehow.. somehow I have finally found... one fragile ray of light.

“Forgive me Alan, I can’t give you up. I just can’t give you or your life up!”

-Eric Slingby, Kuroshitsuji Musical, The Most Beautiful Death in the World

We talked about how having emotions or feeling empathetic towards humans cause, thorns. But it doesn’t seem to apply to shinigami relationships.

Eric is literally intervening with Alan’s eventual death by collecting the souls, so do the rules of being neutral not apply to them? Are they free to save each other?

I don’t really see a problem with this, I can kind of see that it might not be included in the rules since well, they aren’t human, and it just makes the story even more heart-wrenching.

Eric also has emotions and a personality, and even though he doesn’t understand why Alan is feeling the way he does when it comes to human emotions towards death, he still sees him as a friend and wants to save him. It just goes to show that even shinigamis can have healthy relationships. (cri)

Okay we’re back. During the musical Alan learned that it was Eric who was taking the human souls to save him, and he immediately tries to stop Eric. They have a bittersweet moment and decide to run away together and Eric promising not to kill anymore to get souls, and they leave their glasses behind, signing their resignation.

But the thorns didn’t stop. And eventually Alan is on the verge of death, and Eric breaks his promise, he wanted to save Alan no matter the cost. Eventually Eric needed one more soul to complete the task, and the only human left that he could kill quickly was no other than Ciel Phanthomhive. But  just as he was about to kill Ciel, Alan dived in between, Eric’s death scythe killing him.

Eric was devastated, and begs Sebastian to kill him which he does with Alan’s death scythe. Everything he had done was to not lose Alan, but in the end fate was cruel to them. As the very thing he wanted to protect disappeared by his own actions, he essentially killed himself once more by asking Sebastian to take his life. 

He lied beside Alan, in his second time tasting death for himself, at least in death they were still together.

The souls he collected erupted from his body and rained down on the ground, Ciel and Sebastian musing that the souls were beautiful, white, and pure, it was innocent. It was the most beautiful death in the world.

So what would happen if Alan didn’t take the souls? Would Eric just have 1000 souls with him? Would he return the souls to the dispatch center? Would they be fired? I don’t know really, but all I can most likely assume is that everything Eric did to get the souls would be useless and for naught. Alan I think would have died either way, he would never have taken the souls. 

I can see Alan and Eric still alive and happy together if they ran away earlier and the thorns weren’t as bad. 

Another ending would be Eric letting Alan die per his wish, and Eric turning into an emotionless void like William from the sad event. I can see Eric getting the thorns for himself as he would probably remember Alan whenever he takes a human soul, and the guilt of not saving him would also probably eat him alive. A lose-lose situation.

Even another one would be Alan surviving if speculation #1 was true, but then he would also be emotionless and unfeeling, unless he figured out how to exclusively not feel for the humans and their souls, but that’s a far fetch, I just don’t see Alan doing that. And even if it did happen, I'm quite sure Alan and Eric's dynamic would change and it wont be the same. Also a lose-lose situation. 

It’s a bitterweet ending for Alan and Eric, I can only cry and curse at the world so much for giving them such fates. 

I guess that’s what fanart and fanfiction is for amiright?

If you read everything and got to this point, wow, don’t you have a life? Just kidding. I hope you enjoyed and let me know your thoughts if you like.

I might write more of these if I find more stuff I feel like is interesting, or people can give suggest stuff through dm’s or messaging.

Stay safe, healthy, and hydrated!

Much love, Ames

#black butler #thorns of death #eric slingby #alan humphries #kuromyu #kuroshitsuji #the most beautiful death in the world #ciel phamtonhive #sebastian michaelis

[lotusthekat]

Be Wherever (Whoever) You Are

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: G

Relationships: Lars & Rose Quartz, Lars & Steven

Characters: Lars Barriga, Rose Quartz (Pink Diamond), Martha Barriga, Dante Barriga, Steven Quartz Universe; other characters are only mentioned

Summary: “Hm… I don’t think that’s a problem,” the pink-haired lady tells him. “You can always change your name whenever you feel like it.”

The boy looks up, meeting her shining black eyes. “I can?”

Rose grins at him. “You’re always growing and changing… and I think your name is the perfect way to show that, even if no one gets it. It’s what makes you happy. Isn’t that so?”

He’s quiet for maybe a minute, thinking about what she said.

“Yeah… you’re right,” he says, finally.

“So,” Rose speaks up again. “what’s your name?”

--

At the age of four, Laramie is already pretty lost. That changes when he finds a really beautiful garden one day.

Word count: 2.000

AO3

A/N: I remember way back then when people had the idea of Lars meeting Rose before the events of the show, and although this might contradict canon, I’m all for this concept!

I do hope I wrote Rose well, and I’m still getting in the hang of writing child characters, lmao... well, enjoy anyway!

TRIGGER WARNINGS - implied character death and bullying

--

Laramie doesn’t like school.

If anything, he’s sure most kids don’t… but his reason isn’t the same as theirs. As far as he’s concerned, they’re not left alone like he is during recess. Or even during class.

Laramie is only four – almost five – and he’s got a corner of his own, near the small woods. The teachers say he’s not allowed, but honestly, they don’t seem to care when he goes there.

That’s how it is. They don’t care about him. His classmates never invite him to join them, and when he does try, they avoid him like the plague. Like he’s got some dirt on his face or something. Or maybe his face is the dirt they don’t like.

And well, that’s how he ended up here. In the woods. They’re not scary like his teachers say; they’re really small. Harmless. It doesn’t take that long for him to find another way out in the opposite direction.

What he finds, though… is a place he’s never seen before.

It’s a huge garden with pink flowers blooming. This place looks so… dreamy. Like some kind of paradise. It’s very pretty.

Laramie is careful with the flowers as he walks in. Is this what his teachers have been hiding? Or have they never thought of going in there, judging only by the woods behind him? Because that’d be dumb.

The boy looks down, the flowers staring back. Laramie looks around, wondering if this garden belongs to anyone… but it doesn’t seem like anyone’s here, and there isn’t a house nearby. So, he sits down, and for some reason that feels really good. This does feel like paradise.

This might be his new little corner. It’s so far from everything, from school, his teachers, the other kids… it’s perfect.

Laramie smiles for maybe the first time in a while (“now Laramie, you should smile more!” He remembers his teacher say, much to his internal annoyance). He doesn’t care about anything at all right now.

… well, before he hears someone coming.

“I see you like my garden.”

Laramie shrieks, turning around and finding… the tallest woman he’s seen. She’s got pink hair, huge curls falling on her shoulders. She’s wearing a long white dress with a star shape in her belly.

“S-Sorry! I didn’t know anyone owned it!” Laramie blurts out. She doesn’t seem annoyed, though.

“It’s okay,” she laughs silently, “it’s nice to have some company.”

Her voice is so… soft. You’d think his mother was sweet like candy, well, this woman manages to beat his own mom in that.

The woman sits next to him, though not that close, which he likes. Laramie just isn’t good at talking to people, least of all a woman so nice and pretty… her presence is as relaxing as the flowery ground under him.

Laramie can’t really help staring. He knows it isn’t polite, but there’s something about her… something different.

When she looks at him back, though, Laramie looks away the fastest he can. He can tell she’s smiling, anyway.

“Where are you from?” She asks.

“O-Oh, um. I’m from… here. I-I mean, Beach City.” Laramie wants to punch himself, stupid, stupid. “And you?”

The woman hums. “I’ve come from very far… far away from this place.”

“How did you get here?”

“Oh, that’s a very long story,” she responds, her smile… falling a little. She soon recovers, “What matters, though… is that I’m here now. I’m home.”

Laramie nods and doesn’t ask about it anymore.

“How did you get your flowers to grow?” He wonders instead.

“What if I told you it’s magic?”

Laramie raises an eyebrow. “Really?”

She nods with a smile. “Would you like to see it?”

“Uh, yeah?” He says like it’s obvious, but not in a rude way, he hopes. She seems to like it, anyway.

She picks up what seems like a bunch of leaves and kisses them, sparkles coming out. Right then, Laramie gasps at the pink flower in her hands.

“Woah! How’d you do that?”

“Magic,” she repeats, amused.

“Cooool…”

She gives him the flower and he admires it. It is different from other flowers, though. In the center of the petals, there’s…

“… a gem?”

The woman hums. “It’s unlike what you’ve seen before, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…”

“Did you know, I’m still inspired by all the other flowers you’ve got in your home. They’re why I’ve created this place.” She smiles both at the flower and the young boy. “You have a very beautiful home.”

Laramie holds it like it’s a treasure, worth so much that not even money can count. When he looks at the woman again, he does notice the… pink stone in her belly, too.

“What’s that?” He points at it. “Is that where your magic comes from?”

“Yes.” She touches her own belly lovingly. He looks at it, too.

“Wait…” he jumps away in alarm. “Is it moving?!”

The woman laughs. “That’s actually my son!”

“Oh.” Laramie blushes. He scoots closer again. “You’re having a kid?”

“Mm-hmm. He’ll come very soon.”

“That’s, uh, neat.”

She looks at her own belly like she loves her child so much, even before he’s really there. “I can’t wait for him to be born. For him to explore and fall in love with this world like I did…” she speaks, “and for him to make friends with someone as sweet as you.”

“W-What?” Laramie stutters. “Y-You really… mean that?”

She nods again. The woman isn’t messing with him. Every word she says is honest and comes from her heart. Besides his parents, she’s… the only person who’s ever enjoyed being around him.

“Hey, uh… what’s your name?” Laramie asks, realizing he hasn’t before.

“You can call me Rose,” she says. “And what is yours?”

His joy disappears in a second, and he looks away, so she doesn’t see his frown.

“What’s wrong?” Rose wonders, concerned.

Laramie doesn’t really like talking about it. Not even with Mom and Dad… but even if he’s just met Rose, she’s been nothing but nice with him. It’s really the least he could do.

“I don’t… really like my name,” he admits. “It doesn’t feel right.” He scoffs at himself, “Ugh, I know, it doesn’t make sense.”

“Oh, no, I understand what you mean,” she reassures him. “It doesn’t fit you, right?”

“Yeah.” He sighs, looking at the flower, its petals moving with the breeze. “I can’t really be myself, so I just hide from everyone… but I want to go out there and be me, y’know? And I’m not gonna do that with a name as lame as mine!” He exclaims.

Rose doesn’t interrupt him at all. She listens all the way through, and she knows he has more to say.

“I wish I could change it… but no one would get it,” the boy complains. “No one really gets me, anyway,” he mutters in his breath.

“Hm… I don’t think that’s a problem,” the pink-haired lady tells him. “You can always change your name whenever you feel like it.”

The boy looks up, meeting her shining black eyes. “I can?”

Rose grins at him. “You’re always growing and changing… and I think your name is the perfect way to show that, even if no one gets it. It’s what makes you happy. Isn’t that so?”

He’s quiet for maybe a minute, thinking about what she said.

“Yeah… you’re right,” he says, finally.

“So,” Rose speaks up again. “what’s your name?”

It’s a simple question, but Laramie gets what she means.

He’s never had the gut to really say the answer… but now, now might be just the time he stopped being a coward and dealt with it.

Laramie opens his mouth.

--

“… ‘Lars’?”

“Yeah, it’s my name now! You can call me Lars from now on!” The boy claims, his stance firm and tough.

Mom and Dad stare at him like he’s hit his head hard and forgot everything. Then his mother giggles affectionately.

“Oh, Laramie, you’re so creative,” she says. “What a great nickname!”

“It’s not a nickname, mom!” Lars protests. “Like, I know you guys have other names, but you want me to call you Mom and Dad. So, I want you to call me Lars!”

“Right, son. Whatever makes you happy,” his dad tells him. Lars can tell he finds it cute, too, which is the opposite of what the boy really wants.

“Now, go take a shower, sweetie,” Mom says. “You seem like you had a pretty big adventure today.”

“Yes, mom,” the boy answers with a sigh, walking to the stairs.

“And please do your homework when you’re done, Laramie!” Dad says from afar.

“It’s Lars, dad!” Lars yells back, quickly rushing to the bathroom.

Yeah, he should’ve expected that. Of course his parents wouldn’t get it… But Lars is a pretty cool name, though.

The boy takes the pink flower from his pocket and puts it on the sink, smiling at it before he gets in the shower.

--

He doesn’t know why he’s got into this.

Steven wants to take him and Sadie on a vacation, because sure. Why not?

So, they’re inside Steven’s house, which is pretty big. Inside there’s a pretty stony place, probably because of that giant statue. There’s also a platform guarding a big door in there.

“You’ve got a nice house, Steven,” Sadie compliments.

“Thank you,” Steven grins. “Now come on, the warp pad is this way! Get ready to have your jaws dropped!”

Lars sighs, staying behind while Sadie and Steven go ahead. He does look around. If you take away that warp thing and the statue, it’s a pretty standard beach house. It does seem like Steven doesn’t have a bedroom of his own, though…

Once Lars takes a glimpse behind him, he’s… stunned, to say the least.

It’s a pretty big painting on the wall, just above the front door. It’s a portrait of a beautiful pink-haired woman, whose eyes are closed. Her hair and dress flow like she’s floating in clouds, fully at peace.

Lars doesn’t know why, but something about her is…

…

“Hey, Lars, you coming?”

Steven’s loud voice takes him off guard, and Lars tries his best to disguise the feeling, “Uh, yeah, sure. Whatever.”

“Oh, that’s my mom,” Steven tells him, knowing very well he’d been staring at the painting like a creep. “She’s pretty, right?”

“Your mom?” Lars repeats.

He tries to suppress the shame from when he’d insulted Steven’s mother not too long ago. It really seemed like a tough topic to the kid, and while Lars hasn’t verbally apologized, he’s been thoughtful of not disrespecting Steven’s mom again. Lars didn’t know her, after all.

Either way, she does look… divine in that portrait. He remembers Steven saying that she saw beauty in everything, and even in the painting you can probably see that.

It’s… he doesn’t know how to word that. Lars can say, though, that the painting awes him.

“Come on, Lars! We have a vacation to get to!” Steven pulls him out of his thoughts.

The older boy sighs exasperatedly. Lars doesn’t have a choice now, does he?

For once, he follows Steven in that weird “warp pad”, really not sure how the hell they’d get anywhere. But sure, he’ll let Steven do his thing.

Lars does take one last look at the painting, before the three of them are gone in thin air.

--

After that day, he went back to visit Rose.

But she wasn’t there.

He went there the day after that, and she was still nowhere to be seen. And every other day after that.

He could only wonder where she was. Maybe she travelled? Or moved away from Beach City?

The garden stayed the same, but Lars never saw the woman again. He didn’t even have the chance to really say goodbye to her… or thank her at all.

Regardless, the flowers stayed. In a way, Lars could feel her presence there with him.

The garden became a little home of his own.

#steven universe #lars barriga #rose quartz #steven quartz universe #fanfiction #bullying mention tw #death mention tw

[pedropascalunofficial]

My Cousin, Pedro Pascal

Ximena Riquelme

16 NOV 2017 12:53 PM

Before being the protagonist of Narcos or filming with Colin Firth, José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal (42) was a child whom I knew very well because we are from the same family. A man who today looks with nostalgia and some perplexity at his place of origin and his history and who still does not answer what would have happened if he had stayed here.

The first memory I have of Pedro is in the arms of my mother during his baptism, in the garden of my house. She was a weeping bus and had huge black eyes. I was 9 years old. It was cloudy. Years later I learned that the priest was Gerardo Whelan, the legendary rector of Saint George's College. Pedro's parents were not at his baptism: my uncle, José Balmaceda, my mother's only male brother, and his wife Verónica Pascal were asylees at the Venezuelan embassy, which was on Bustos street, near my house. Pepe, as we used to say to my uncle, who years later would become a famous gynecologist, an expert in fertilization, was then a 27-year-old young doctor, in those days wanted by Dina. Some time before they had hidden Andrés Pascal Allende, Mirista and his wife's uncle. One day they came to take him to the José Joaquín Aguirre Hospital and he managed to escape by jumping through the roofs. It was October 1975.

Like most of the Chilean families, there were supporters of both sides in mine: for and against Pinochet. Trying to help Pedro's parents, my dad called a relative who held a high position in the Army. "Tell the children to get asylum, because I cannot guarantee their lives or that nothing happens to Veronica," was his reply. She was 22 years old. Then began the journey of my uncles and with them that of my cousin José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal. Pepe and Verónica had to start living secretly in different houses. Pedro, who was only 6 months old at the time, and his 3-year-old sister Javiera were left in charge of my mother's older sister, "Aunt Juani."

The second memory I have of Pedro is when I accompanied my parents, who carried him and his sister in their arms, to stand on the sidewalk in front of the Venezuelan embassy so that their parents could see them through the window.

My uncles left the Venezuelan embassy for the airport in January 1976, Pedro was 9 months old and obviously does not remember anything. I just remember that they didn't let me go. Pedro could not record the image, which I could not see, of his grandfather Luis Pascal Vigil - a very prominent lawyer - singing the National Anthem on the balcony of Pudahuel. A memory that is not mine but that I adopted, for cute.

As the people of the International Red Cross advised our family on time, Pedro and his sister did not leave the embassy with their parents, but arrived directly at the airport: this allowed their passports not to be stamped with the "L" for " limited to circulate "that stamped on the exiles who left. Therefore, the years that Pedro and Javiera came could come to Chile without problems. And for that reason, the choclón of cousins, we were able to share long summers in Pucón and some winters in Santiago.

The Balmaceda Pascal first arrived in Aarhus, Denmark, in October 1976. A year later they left for San Antonio, Texas, where Pedro's father was able to continue improving himself thanks to a grant from the Rockefeller Foundation. Veronica earned a PhD in Child Psychology.

________________________________________

"But Denmark is invisible to me," Pedro writes me by email. A while ago I proposed to interview him at a distance to travel a little about his history, and here we are, in front of the computer, sharing memories. "It is invisible to me, like everything that happened before. Although once, after telling him about my childhood, a doctor told me that the temporary separation with my mother was trapped in the memory of my body and that I could remember it through the senses".

My cousin, far away

The third memory I have of Pedro is a summer in Pucón. It must have been in 1978. "Pepelo", as we said, was no longer a guagua but a restless, very blond boy, who was so impacted by poverty in Chile that when he went out on the street with his gringo accent, he asked any person: "Are you poor?" He took food out of the pantry and gave it away. With my cousins we rented a warm wooden house, colorful, with the door frames out of square. It was summers with trips to those black sand beaches that burned the feet and picnics in Caburgua with lamb on the stick. They took us to mass and Pedro sang very inspired.

"This is where the memories become more vivid, like dreams," he writes. "I remember so many details: my older cousins, children my age who were like family. The beach seemed endless. I also remember running down the hallways and stairs of Aunt Juani's house looking for Santa Claus at Christmas."

XR: What was it like leaving your parents in the United States?

PP: "I think the trauma was going back to the States, although I obviously wanted to be with my parents. But childhood in Chile, with the Balmaceda and Pascal, was a dream, a world where nothing was missing, pure adventure and love."

Now that he tells me that, I remember that image of Pedro hanging on the neck of our aunt Juani, crying in Pudahuel because she did not want to return. At that time going to the airport was a panorama: we were going en masse to leave him and his sister, who traveled in charge of the stewardesses.

In 1981 I went with my parents and my two sisters to see the Balmaceda Pascal in Texas. I remember an eternal road trip from Miami, I remember Pedro's house, in a middle-class neighborhood, comfortable, beautiful, lovingly arranged by his mother. I remember the tears of my mother and Pedro's mother when we said goodbye to return to Chile. We still didn't know when they could return. Although Pedro never fully returned.

In December 1983, Pepe and Verónica were able to enter Chile. The whole family was packed on the terrace of Pudahuel, waiting for them. I remember the Balmaceda Pascal walking from the stairs of the plane to the International Police. I remember them happy, triumphant. Pedro was 8 years old and chose to stay in my house, in love with my girl sister.

We all went to Quintero, to the house of our grandfather Pepe, a great smoker, tennis player, and fanatic fanatic who took us to the town cinema to see double Tora! Programs, Tora !, Tora! More Bridges on the River Kwai and other old movies. Surely Pedro had to see several. Since he was a boy he said he wanted to be a "director". He liked horror movies and was a big movie consumer, like his dad.

PP: "I remember going to the movies with the cousins and the grandfather to see anything with Clint Eastwood, Sylvester Stallone. They leased me VHS movies to see alone and happy."

XR: You once recited Hamlet on the beach with Grandpa.

PP: "No, it was Death of a Salesman, by Arthur Miller. I was about 14 years old. I videotaped it and lost the fucking camera on the trip back to the United States."

After that summer, Pedro began to come more sporadically. He was already grown up, at school and then at university. They had moved to Newport Beach, California. His father was doing very well. But Pedro, not so much.

PP: "I think that the way the family supported me in Chile was the opposite of what I experienced in Newport Beach. I started well in California but at 13 years old, very involved in the cinema, reading plays, books, TV, TV, TV, obsessed with these things, I had the bad luck to find few like me. It was a world very attached to conservatism and its privileges where not fitting was punished. There was a group of shitty goats who were my friends the first year and became my terrors thereafter. I don't enjoy remembering that time, but there are deep connections from back then. Friends of my parents who are like parents until today."

Pedro's mom soon found a performance arts program at a high school in another district. A more inclusive school compared to Corona del Mar, the neighborhood where they lived in Newport.

PP: "My mom and my driver's license were my salvation. There I was able to unleash my appetite for movies and theater without limits."

As time went by Pedro became a fun, provocative teenager with character. He said he was "lazy", but he went to study Theater at NYU in 1993 and he loved it. I started to see it less. When he came to Chile he went out with his friends, I was already married and having children.

XR: Did you find that our way of life was very boring?

PP: "Bored, no. But overwhelming regarding life's permanent decisions. I didn't have the Catholic structure, and I felt there was no room for a young guy like me. Like suddenly, from one trip of mine to another, you had lives that included marriages and children, and pleasing the visits of the gringo cousin was no longer an option for all of you. I had to duel, because I was jealous of his inattention."

XR: Do you find us very conservative?

PP: "Yes, but it is a major contradiction for me. I come from the perspective that no one can decide how someone else should live their life. And well, in our family there are social rules that are very firm. I think that a person has the right to live his life conservatively or wildly as long as he does not negatively impact anyone or tries to embarrass others by his lifestyle. I don't touch these issues very much with our family for fear of hearing their perspective, but what I do know is that if I ever needed help I could ask any member of our family by the name of Balmaceda, and I would get it."

In 1995, Pedro's parents returned to Chile with their two youngest children, Nicolás and Lucas, who had been born in California. Javiera also came for a couple of years. Pedro stayed in the United States.

PP: "It was a very scary period. I grew up with my family in the United States and from one day to the next there was no home to return to. Suddenly the idea of the safe nest was gone. It was shocking because in previous years I took for granted the privileged life we had in California. I never thought that this could change as suddenly as happened to my parents when they became exiles. Everything felt fragile. Also, I knew that my parents' marriage was wrong and that the tension of those circumstances was hardly going to end. My mother's life felt in danger and the line between needing her, being there for her and finishing my studies and pursuing a career was a horrible conflict. I knew that my mom wanted me to continue doing mine, she never would have wanted me to sacrifice it."

XR: Did you really resent the failure of your parents' marriage?

PP: "For me it was the hardest time. I have not been able, and I do not know if someday I will be able to reconcile completely how my parents separated and the tragedy that came after that separation. The circumstances of my mother's death made it very hard for us to keep her memory of who she was. It hurts so much ... Sometimes I feel distressed and try to face it in the best possible way, because I know that my mother would not like me to do it in any other way."

Pedro lost his mother when he was 24 years old.

PP: "It's hard to say what I remember most about her. You met her, so it is easy for you to understand that she was the love of my life. I think of her every day. Since I don't pray, I can't say that I have a practice to feel her close, but I live for her even though she's gone, and that makes sense to me."

From Alexander to Pedro

XR: Do you believe that pain makes us stronger or does it seem like a horrible cliché?

PP: "I don't think it's a terrible cliche but a profound reality. In some way, losing the most important person in your life, discovering that something like this is possible and that what you fear most in life can happen is an identifiable and permanent moment. There is a before and after after his death. I think, yes, that old age would not have been for my mother, there would have been no footwear with her. Of course, no one wants to grow old, but others can handle it better. I would not have liked to see my mom struggling with it, but at the same time, I wish I had her every day still with me."

It may have been the summer of 2012. Pedro said to our aunt Juani: "I am 37 years old and I still can't get what I want. And it's the only thing I know how to do." It had been a long time since the death of his mother in the summer of 2000 that Pedro had changed his name. From Pedro Balmaceda to Pedro Pascal. He had been searching for years, years of casting where, by being called Pedro Balmaceda in the studios, they hoped to find a Latin or classic Mexican phenotype. He had only made minor appearances in some series.

XR: Although you did not regret it, you did wear Alexander at some point. Why?

PP: "That was a desperate period and directly related to having lost my mother. I was desperate to work, to fill my days with something more to suffer. To eliminate the confusion that casting directors had with this guy named Pedro with European or Caucasian traits, I changed my first name to Alexander and took my mom's last name, Pascal. That only lasted a year, until I was able to find a job and be selected for an Ibsen theatrical classic. But it was too late for people to identify me as "Alex". Also, my mom named me Pedro. So the decision was to call me Pedro Pascal, a name that fits with me more than any other."

Soon after that came Brothers and Sisters, other small roles, and later more important ones in The Good Wife, The Law and Order, The Mentalist, until Game of Thrones, Narcos in 2015 and now, filming Muralla china with Matt Damon and William Dafoe - last year we all went to see his cousins together - and then Kingsman 2 with Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Jeff Bridges, Halle Berry and Channing Tatum.

XR : Have you ever been excited acting with such powerful actors?

PP: "I have been thrilled with everyone."

With fame have come the new meetings of the cousins with Pedro Pascal. We all want to see him, take pictures of us, we ask him for greetings-chub for friends, we inflate ourselves by saying that he is our cousin. That Peña, the protagonist of Narcos and the sexiest guy in the world, is my cousin-brother. He laughs and humorously calls us "scoundrels" because now we remember him. In fact, that's what our cousin chat on Whastapp is called.

But there is also the modesty to disturb him. Know that you are busy. That while I'm sending you these questions, you're filming in Boston with Denzel Washington. And to feel that there is always a lack of time to speak to him calmly, a space to ask him questions like the ones that occur to me now:

XR: Exile changed your life. Can you imagine growing up in Chile?

PP: "I don't know, because I haven't thought much about it. I have been asked this question all my life and have never been able to come up with an answer. Perhaps my life would have been more complete and solid. What I am used to is that the past disappears as if it had been lived by someone else, in another time."

XR: Do you miss something from when you were Pedro Balmaceda?

PP: "You know? There is very little difference between Pedro Balmaceda and Pedro Pascal. As it is all part of José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal, I feel the same person. But with back problems and more money."

XR: Would you like to start a family?

PP: "Being a dad? I don't know. I have no fucking idea. I love being an uncle. It may just end there. But anything is possible."

XR: Marialy Rivas said something very nice about you on Saturday: that when you play a character, you pretend that this character brought a whole previous story, much bigger than what they are telling. And it's true: you carry a bigger story than you tell it.

PP: "I don't know, cousin. I am very confused trying to organize the past and see what turns out. It helps me understand the pain or be grateful for what I have. Sometimes I feel like I'm a fraud, living between waiting for fame and attention and completely embarrassed by these wishes.

In reference to what Marialy said, I think she means that I put all my confusion, joy and sorrow, ambivalence, hostility, rage, love, lust, greed, compassion, ignorance, knowledge either to indicate a map with the finger on Narcos, throwing an arrow in Game of Thrones, lashing out at Kingsman. Cool! But I think my experience in theater taught me that."

XR: Would you someday like your life to be a script?

PP: "No way." (in english)

XR: Do you still want to be a "director", as you used to say when you were a kid?

PP: "Yes! That will be my way of being a father. Father of a production."

XR: Is dreaming about an Oscar the dream of every actor, even if you don't confess it?

PP: "I confess that possibly… yes."

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