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#black bat
Tim, on the *good stuff* post injury: And… and… Bruce is a DUMB FACE.
Tim: *giggles*
Steph: This is the best day of my life.
Jason: Honestly, same.
Jason: Please tell me someone is recording this.
Cass, phone in hand: Duh.
Tim: And Jason is the best and the smartest and I love him.
Steph & Cass: Awwww.
Tim, oblivious to the world around him: And he has a helmet and that makes him the smartest and Alfred said so too.
Steph: Hey Tim? Who’s your favorite?
Tim: I like cats…
Tim: Sometimes I think Damian is a cat.
Tim: Do you think Ra’s knows if Damian is a cat?
Tim: Hang on, I need to text him.
Jason: Oh, I got this Timbo. *smiles with unholy glee*
Steph: Does Bruce know you two text the leader of the League of Assassins on a regular basis?
Jason: *shrugs*
Tim: Ra’s doesn’t like it when Jason texts him so I keep giving Jason his number.
Tim: Jason is the best.
Cass, amused: So you’ve said.
Tim: I think all of my friends have died.
Steph: Let’s think happy thi-
Tim: Do you think if I tell Ra’s he’s my friend he’ll die too?
Steph: Okay never mind. Continue.
Tim: Steph, you and Jason should date.
Jason: *blanking out*
Steph: Wha-
Tim: I have a PowerPoint all ready to go.
Tim, giggling: But don’t tell them because it’s a secret.
Two hours later:
Steph: Well, at least he’s finally asleep?
Jason: He would have been sooner if you’d’ve just let me-
Cass, flicking Jason’s ear: No drugging our brother.
Jason: But he’s already drugged, I don’t see-
Dick: Hey guys, how’s Tim doing?
Jason & Steph: mild deer in the headlights look
Cass, grinning: Fantastic.
Dick: I can’t believe you made it through the entire thing.
Tim: Oh ye of little faith.
Dick: Too bad they deleted the video. I would have loved watching their reactions to the whole thing.
Cass, pulling up a backup copy of the video footage: Oh ye of little faith.
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hintofelation99 · a day ago
The Waynes Carve Pumpkins Pt 2.
Dick, putting newspaper and pumpkins on the table: Okay, now that we’ve learned the dangers of paint brushes we can move on to actually carving pumpkins!
Dick starts laying out carving knives.
Bruce: This is a bad idea.
Dick glaring at Bruce: We are all trained vigilante’s B, it’ll be fine. Now let’s get started!
Everyone sits down in front of a pumpkin, they stare at their pumpkins.
Dick: So, uh, let’s start carving?
Damian: How do we begin?
Jason, rolling his eyes: It’s easy, we just… uh, um, we… What do we do Dickface?
Dick: Um, I, I don’t know? Tim?
Tim, looking shocked: Why are you asking me?! Ask Steph she had parents!
Steph: My mom was always busy at the hospital and my dad was a villain, we didn’t really carve pumpkins? And Tim, you had parents! You should know!
Tim: My parents were horribly neglectful, we didn’t carve pumpkins. Dick? You had loving parents.
Dick: We traveled a lot and didn’t really have a great place to keep a carved pumpkin. Actually, we, uh, we painted ours…
Bruce: I thought you said painting was pumpkins was lame?!
Dick: It’s lame that you don’t trust you children with knives. Now shush, and teach us how to carve pumpkins.
Bruce: I didn’t carve pumpkins as a child.
Dick: …of course you didn’t. Does anyone know how to carve a pumpkin?
Jason: Abusive dad, addict mom, then homeless.
Damian: I was raised by assassins.
Cass, signing: *no childhood, also raised by assassins*
Tim: What about Babs, or Duke? They both had good childhoods. Well Babs had a good childhood and Duke had a decent childhood, until the whole parents driven insane thing.
Dick: Good idea Tim! Babs?
Babs: I am not teaching you guys to carve pumpkins. Also I don’t like touching the inside part. It’s slimy.
Dick, shrugs: Fine, Duke? Wait, where’s Duke?
Bruce: Spending the day with his uncle. We shouldn’t interrupt their bonding for something as menial as pumpkin carving, we…
Bruce looks at his disappointed kids, and sighs.
Bruce: I’ll text him.
<- Part 1 |
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nearlybitches · 12 hours ago
"Jason and Cass would hate each other" Yeah 100% I mean it's not like she was shown as part of the family in Jason's ideal life when he got exposed to the cheer drugs or anything.....
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analviel · a day ago
Types of Bat duo: vaguely according to canon.
Bruce & Dick- brother-son
Bruce & Babs- Him but better and a girl
Bruce & Cass- disciple-daughter-heir Him but in another city and still better
Bruce & Jason- son-son-grief-regret
Bruce & Tim- partner-son
Bruce & Steph- Bruce fucked over a perfectly fine Robin
Bruce & Damian- errr........ father. son.
Babs & Dick- best friend boy friend girl friend friend friend
Babs & Cass- partner-sister/daughter/you're not going to challenge me to a death fight
Babs & Jason- barbie and jay, victims of the same mad man, collateral but no less of a hero, we remade ourselves and we're not looking back. Also book club.
Babs & Tim- the voice in my ear, the sane one, and we're both fan of both of your two boyfriends in blue
Babs & Steph- wasn't always a fan but now I'm your number two after your girl(friend) bestfriend
Babs & Damian- we like the same Blue Man
Dick & Cass- friend.
Dick & Jason- you realize we're part of the mob except reverse?
Dick & Tim- my brother who is actually my brother, the oasis of a simple true and uncomplicated relationship in this mess of a family who'd made a home of blurry lines. Did it all together, brothers, partners, pretend dead, dead dead, why are all my friends dying? Oh they're back.
Dick & Steph- Vibing. Pessimism, optimism, the inherent belief that they're doing everything wrong but still gonna do it and no Bat, man, or woman is going to stop them.
Dick & Damian- son who only sees me as brother or father who only sees me as brother? They can agree on being partners.
Cass & Jason- book club. With the debates over conflicting morals and different interpretation of the Bat and Robin characters and really, everything that comes with a book club. Also would beat each other up with said books if given a reason.
Cass & Tim- brother & sister, the red to my black, the batgirl to my robin, siblings from six different parents, teacher and student, we've not always been close but the moment we tried the universe clicked and we can take over the world together but we won't because we're nice like that
Cass & Damian- whack-a-mole
Jason & Tim- good boy and bad boy (which is which)
Jason & Steph- ooooh venn diagram, and that's why were not allowed to vibe
Jason & Damian- Damned
Tim & Steph- my boyfriend best friend and my girlfriend best friend, who is different from my girl(friend) best friend and my boy(friend) best friend
Tim & Damian- my brother's son
Steph & Damian- the classic 'little brother'-'some woman who wouldn't leave him alone'
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fictionlover007 · 2 days ago
Incorrect Batfam Quotes
*in the middle of battle, they’re all possibly about to die
Jason: Well I suppose now is the time for me to say something profound.
Dick: …
Damian: …
Tim: …
Duke: …
Cass: …
Steph: …
Bruce: …
Jason: …nothing comes to mind. Let’s do it.
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incorrectbopquotes · 2 days ago
Barbara: What did I tell you?
Stephanie: ...That we're not allowed in the same room together without supervision.
Barbara: And why is that?
Cassandra: Because we were stupid enough to fire a cannon indoors.
Barbara: And?
Stephanie: You know, YOU'RE here, which technically counts as supervision, so...
Stephanie: I'll leave.
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yourethebeeskneez · 2 days ago
“Radiate sunshine so no one sees the darkness inside.” 
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“Oops, said something a little too real, make a joke to cover it up.” 
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“Trauma made me stronger, but I never should have needed to be strong.” 
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“People like to argue nature vs nurture. I’m screwed either way.” 
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amethyst-wind-uk · a day ago
Very much not a comics person, but wow do I really appreciate just how close Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, and Harper Row are. They all love each other so much.
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They are a delight. 
Also, non-comics sources should be straight up sued for slander in how they describe and portray all three of them, but especially Stephanie. She has been, and continues to be, done incredibly dirty by second-hand information sources.
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blanddcheadcanons · a day ago
(Earth 16) Orphan, Spoiler, Arrowett and Oracle all go out for a girls night consisting of a movie with horrid reviews from fans and critics alike, pedicures, prank calling Bruce in his study, dinner at Batburger and a healthy does of crashing in Oracle’s apartment.
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hintofelation99 · 7 hours ago
Chapters: 5/? Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Duke Thomas & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne Characters: Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Duke Thomas, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Original Characters Additional Tags: Batfamily (DCU), Batfamily Shenanigans (DCU), Mentioned Stephanie Brown, Mentioned Barbara Gordon, Brotherly Bonding, Sibling Bonding, Game Shows, batfam enters a game show, Good Sibling Cassandra Cain, Bookworm Jason Todd, writer duke thomas, Jason Todd is So Done, Damian Wayne is a Little Shit, Tired Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Dick Grayson is a Ray of Sunshine, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Crack, Fluff and Crack Series: Part 1 of Clash of the Clans Summary:
When the Waynes are asked to appear on the celebrity family game show "Clash of the Clans" they immediately say no. Well, they meant to say no, but Dick Grayson is just so stubborn and so, so convincing and he had already said yes.
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