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“Don’t worry,” Dick says, throwing his arm around Duke’s shoulders. “Everyone in this room has had their teeth knocked out at one point or another. It’s a rite of passage around here.”

“I don’t know how to tell you thith, but that doethn’t happen to normal people. We acthually prefer to keep our teeth, believe it or not.”

“Wait until you get your first major battle scar. Trust me, they’re cool.”

“Y’all need Jethuth.”

Bruce likes to think of himself as a patient man. Even more, he’d like to think it’s a trait he earned all on his own, but anyone who’s met him would testify that he inherited his patience from the man who raised him, and Bruce would have to agree. This level of restraint he possesses is an acquired skill—one that is reserved for the world’s best butlers and for fathers of six.

Karen from the PTA wishes she were on Bruce’s level.

His exceedingly calm temperament is the only reason Bruce doesn’t melt into a puddle on the ground now, his bones turning into a milky froth because Jesus fucking Christ, hasn’t he had a hard enough night as it is? No person should have to spend two hours solving riddles because Eddie was feeling manic tonight and then be forced to come home to human children.

Duke smiles around a mouthful of bloody gauze. “In my defenth, I’ve never even had a cavity before.”

“No, you just got your tooth knocked out.”



“Ith acthually teeth, plural. I lotht two of them.”

Bruce facepalms. “Goddamn it.” He ignores the giggles from his other kids, all of whom apparently decided they needed to be present for this conversation. He’s picking his battles tonight.

Keep reading

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Seeing some “Tell me why Cassandra Cain going by Orphan is good.” discussions from my friends on twitter and I want to join so bad, but I’ve gone at length on why it’s not good regardless of the many ppl that try to defend it.

I’ve heard all the “reasons” people try and lie to themselves on why Cass going by Orphan works, but in the end it’s a lie. Most just don’t want her to be Batgirl again or just don’t actually care about her/only read her as Orphan so they don’t see the point in changing it.

I have strong feelings on Black Bat, which I’ve expressed many times on here, and while I think Black Bat is a better name than Orphan it has the same pitfalls as a code name people lie to themselves and say “fits” better for Cass.

Batgirl is the best code name for Cassandra Cain in the current set up in which Cassandra Cain is being used as a character, however it’s also an unavailable name (apparently) and unlike most of the batfam members she doesn’t have a name she can revert back to. There’s a way to make Black Bat work, but if people really want Black Bat to be her “Nightwing” type name then she needs her “Robin” type development first and that’s her as Batgirl.

There is no way to make the name Orphan work for Cass. It’s stupid. However there is a way to make the theme of what Orphan is supposed to represent work, but it’s not what they are currently doing and requires a lot of solo development away from Batman and the Batfam and DC is clearly not interested in doing that.

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be the light that helps others see

prompts: darkness / hunters

wordcount: 1.8k

Duke didn’t really know what to expect from movie nights with the Bats.

He could only assume they approached this with the same determined intensity as they approached everything else. They were all so extra it was like their gauge for normal was completely broke. He wasn’t really prepared for this.

And yet here he was. Surrounded.

(Alternatively; Batkid’s have a movie night.)

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Needed a break from stuff so I drew Cass! I only draw her like every 3 years, but she’s one of my favorite characters ever. I always end up being more experimental with my style when I draw her too.
(pls ignore the inaccurate costume, I was seeing how fast I could do this and I was too lazy to find a reference pic)
(also I remembered after sketching to record it for a speedpaint so…. if anyone cares to see)

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Stephanie: Every time I have a conversation with you I waste hours of my life. You’re just too interesting.
Cassandra: I can stop being interesting. Watch this.
Cassandra: *freezes*
Stephanie: Hello?
Stephanie: Okay, well now I have to stay here and see how long you can keep this up.
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I’m taking requests for the batfam!!! Give me a number and as many characters as you want, or just a number and I’ll add characters! Dc characters, mostly batfam/titans!!!

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